pyjamacryptid

[pyjamacryptid]

I think if I could be the kind stranger in someone’s memory, that’d be enough.

[pyjamacryptid]

Will you be the clotpole to my dollophead?

[pyjamacryptid]

pride month!!!

[pyjamacryptid]

"my fave did nothing wrong" oh yeah well MY fave fucked everything up and she's still my fave so

[pyjamacryptid]

x

[pyjamacryptid]

I love Australian states because we went hogwild naming a couple of them after royalty and then just went fuck it. Geographical description.

[pyjamacryptid]

Hehe :)

[pyjamacryptid]

the idea of clark editing superman/lois lane fics for people is very funny to me so i made these during history

:)

bro! you are the fucking shit! that's you, you are the shit, holy fuck.

[pyjamacryptid]

Metropolis has one of the least corrupt police departments in the DCU, because some sneaky bastard reporter who looks like a nerdy lumberjack keeps sniffing out and exposing all the racists in the department. (This is because Superman, while not always listening, can always hear when one of them to start saying racist things and once he does he immediately starts investigating as Clark.)

Who watches the watchers? Some hulking bespectacled doofus, apparently.

[pyjamacryptid]

"What made you follow your mutual" I don't know. I don't remember anything. In my mind we were mutuals at birth. Since the dawn of time. The start of the earth's spin

[pyjamacryptid]

we need to talk about “had I foreseen the terrible vengeance you have wrought, I would never have granted your wish.” “I wish you hadn’t.” “you wish you didn’t have a son?” WAY FUCKING MORE. it is SUCH a fascinating insight into uther’s character and his relationship with arthur

[pyjamacryptid]

[pyjamacryptid]

I am nursing a hangover because my neighbors invited me over for a dinner last night that was actually a high school graduation party for their eldest daughter but what it actually actually was was 16 Hindu families getting drunk and having a dance party in the basement teaching me, the Lone Jew, how to do Indian dances and getting me Quite Drunk while the kids watched YouTube upstairs

[pyjamacryptid]

a servant of two masters really said what if merlin was a feral little assassin and everyone around him just nodded and carried on like that was normal. arthur’s out here obliviously dodging murder attempts every five minutes. leon actively enables an attempt just for funsies by literally handing merlin the weapon. the knights are so desensitised to merlin that this is just a normal wednesday to them

[pyjamacryptid]

judge: counsel

me: yes

judge: what did we say about singing in the courtroom

me: dont do it

judge: right

me: but your honor

judge: no

me: if you SUBPOENA COLADA

[pyjamacryptid]

honestly i never thought the phrase “i want that twink obliterated” was like a sexual thing. like when i read the phrase i imagine “a meteor like the one that killed the dinosaurs is summoned from the heavens and hits the twink in question” type situation