#A girl feels used yknow
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It feels so gross to me when I'm super friendly to ppl (as I p much always am) so they get to talking with me and feel comfortable enough to be.... jerks. I'm not one of you just bc I'm nice jackass you're poisoning my good vibes
#alda rambling#Really ruined my mood :( I was feeling p energetic and silly and then they hit me with the Ha Ha Bigotry#Sometimes I feel like ppl only like me for my fun and whimsy and great listening skills and humour and nice legs. And humility#A girl feels used yknow#alda drawing#Jk but also not
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You've Still Got My Heart Clutched In Your Hand (The Only Piece of Me That's Not Rotten)
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus - Taylor Swift/Moon Song - Phoebe Bridgers/@littlespoonsokka/Little Women (2019)/Warsh_Tippy and Zelda - Whatever, Dad/@criterioncollectiongirl/Gilmore Girls (2001)/I Look In People's Windows - Taylor Swift/Right Where You Left Me - Taylor Swift/Unknown/Unknown/Unknown/I Look In People's Windows - Taylor Swift/Right Where You Left Me - Taylor Swift
#right person wrong time#or whatever i guess#i just couldn't stop thinking about “does it feel alright to not know me” yknow#like#how can you move on so quickly from us#how can I be stuck here and yet you're perfectly fine#how can you say you're over when i'm still here#i love you im here I love you I'm still here#web weaving#web weave#quotes#Taylor Swift#Phoebe Bridgers#Whatever Dad#Gilmore Girls#Little Women
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what are your favorite ninjago seasons?
Rise of the Snakes, HANDS DOWN.
I've rewatched it so many times, and I adore this season, it's so nostalgic, and easy to digest, it brings me back to when I was 12 years old searching "Lloyd gets revenge against the ninja" on youtube only to instantly get spoiled that he was the green ninja LOL. (twelve years old me really thought he was going to become a major villain and I WAS READY TO EMBRACE THAT)
altought I also rewatch Dragon Rising alot? Probably cuz it's easy to watch it and similiar to season 1, it just feels like I'm eating a snack.
I also really like Possesion and March of the oni, but that's mainly becuase of the opening? like the opening of the season is just so cool.
and I feel like seabound is one of my top favorites becuase I am AWFUL at dealing with that type of stuff so I was sobbing so hard in the end. Same with Sons of Garmadon.
#watched Sons of Garmadon for a second time with a friend last week and it's still insanely good#I think that out of all of them I have enjoyed Dragon Rising and Rise of the Snakes the most#ITS JUST A DIFFERENT VIBEEE YKNOW???#Season 2 is also very cool#My least favorite is probably The fire chapter one#ICE CHAPTER WAS NICE THO#ones that I hate rewatching is Rebooted and Hands of time#they aren't even bad it's just like idk I have a hard time sitting throught it#and the ones I feel guilty for liking it is prime empire and the island#IT IS SO LIKE “NOT GREAT??” BUT I ENJOYED IT ALOT#Ones I didn't mention here I consider great or nostalgic to me#also funfact 12 years old me really felt guilty for watching a show for children#WELL GUESS WHAT GIRL??? YOU ARE ALMOST 20 LMAOOOOOO NEEEEERDDDD#GUESS WHO USES HER SALARY TO BUY LEGOS??? YOUUU!!! LOSER!!! BAHAHAHA
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“you betrayed me last session so I don’t love you” ok well i can see myself inside your bloodshot eyes wondering if you can see yourself in mine or do you just see me and of me what you want to see
#last one today. i promise. i will actually get over it and go to bed#ive been thinking about bloodshot by Julien Baker with them too much. i can’t stop#and i also can’t stop thinking about. yknow.#she deliberately switched from using ‘i dont like you’ to Impulse to ‘i dont love you’ to Pearl??? didn’t even need to do that but okay???#so much to say. about whatever divorce arc theyre going through. about their perception of each other and how it differs and has changed#about the torment nexus misery cycle etc.#but ok girl. just whip out those repressed feelings ig. good for you#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#mcyt
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the common joke of shadow and amy being swifties is stupid and doesn't fit either of them (but it Especially doesn't fit shadow) so every time i see it im going to mentally replace tswift with hatsune miku . peace and love
#also insert joke about how sonic is miku's cousin or close friend or something and shadow and amy are completely unaware#ik that miku isnt really an artist in the same way taylor swift is shes an instrument used by many artists. but still. it would be better#tbh with amy there are a few specific taylor swift songs ive heard that feel like something amy might like#(all older stuff thoughnot anything recent)#its more the people portraying her as an active fan of hers or an obsessed swiftie or whatever that doesnt feel right#it feels like ''well amy is The Girl One so obviously she would be a swiftie'' without really putting any more thought into it yknow.#BUT SHADOW. no taylor swift song ive ever heard sounds like something he would like . why would you say that about him .#''shadow the hedgehog would be a swiftie'' literally sounds like something i would see#in a post about sonic characters#written by one of those people who doesnt actually know anything about sonic outside of memes but still posts about it anyway
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reminding myself my aromantic identity DOES fluctuate. I am not less aromantic just becuase I don't always fully feel this way. and that I don't need to put a label on it if I don't feel comfortable yet.
#I am looking at a certain label and thinking about it atm. but I want to wait before using it.#I should ask my sister how she came to the conclusion she's pan#it might help me figure out what the heck I'm feeling.#I remember when she first told me she thought she was lesbian#it was just “I just realized I liked girls lol”#actually yknow her answer will probably still be that simple tbh#kinda unrelated but she gives off major pan vibes#aromantic#aro#arospec#aroflux
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I hope picking the Male Rover from Wuthering Waves is the reason I sort out my gender situation bcs that would be a pretty funny way for that to happen
#currently im forever in a loop of 'genderfluid or gnc cis girl' and the former often branches into 'ok but what ARE the genders in ur fluid'#and what most often messes me up are my pronouns. im not attached to she/her but the idea of changing it or even saying idc --#-- doesn't cause strong feelings for me either way. so i just keep using she/her#anyway a long time ago when wuwa was still barely in beta i saw male rover & thought 'wow rare male mc i prefer to the fem one'#'surely he/him won't be jarring for a game. i'll just name him angkasa like my mom would've named me as a boy so i can have some distance'#fast forward to now where i use angkasa as a second name and have this gender predicament happening. and wuwa's releasing soon.#why did i write all this <- guy who's procrastinating from doing lineart#(see. see how sometimes i say guy & sometimes girl. & sometimes i can't figure it out so is that its own gender or lack of gender or??)#i WAS gonna let this rot in drafts but yknow what. maybe my confusion is amusing to someone. woe! scattered thoughts be upon ye
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I have a feeling my mom is slowly falling down an alt right/radfem pipeline on tik tok and it's scaring me
#being ao casual about covid#acting like people arent fucking immunocompromised#acting like those people should just ''stay inside''#saying a bunch of fucking gender essentialist bull shit#the other day she described something as being ''so boy'' (the thing was ten minute power hour)#and she has told me several times ''i feel better about you having a woman doctor than a man doctor''#and i mean any kind of doctor. like a fucking orthodontist.#she acts like men are innately horrible people that are going to hurt every woman ever#and i count as a woman who is going to be hurt. because I'm a perisex AFAB person.#and when i bring up terf and rad fem shit she's always like ''yknow they have a point'' LIKE GIRL. THEY USE THAT SHIT TO ARGUE THAT I#SHOULDN'T EXIST AND AM A TERRIBLE GENDER TRAITOR.#OKAY. DO YOU GET IT.#every month she becomes more and more dead set on this ideology. it scares me that one day she'll stop supporting me being trans#and i know so many people have it worse with parents who were never supportive in the first place#but it's fucking terrifying to slowly watch your own parent parrot the same misinformation that used to subjugate and harm you#it's scary being uncertain of when your parent is just gonna turn against you#it's like watching someone rot in real time#someone who has control over your entire life#tw vent
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shes just like me fr 💚
#i love nene sm shes sooooo <3333#i also made the bg purple not only cause her eyes but also i love ruinene#nene kusanagi#project sekai#proseka#prsk fa#kusanagi nene#will the day ever come where i admit nene is also one of my top faves?#who knows#for now shes just in my faves list#i love her sm tho#yknow its bad when youre listening to her vas songs and not just her in game songs#also oh my god i kinda hated this when i was sketching it but it turned out way better than i expected so yeah trust the process or whateve#nillyart#also also i feel like ive gotten SO MUCH BETTER AT FANART THIS YEAR#i used to be so scared of fanart cause oh my god i just could not draw other peoples characters but omg look at me now!!!!#i think it also helps i dont care as much about canon anymore like no im gonna draw them how they look in my head thankies#typically that is close to canon tho#unless its love live or proseka characters i like to darken their skin cause oh my god <3 they are SO PALE#like girl i barely go outside and IM STILL DARKER THAN YOU#IM SO WHITE#IM 90% IRISH!!!!!#nillyfanart
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Good Dad Bruce! He’s talking things thru! They’re being healthy! (New WFA chapter)
And I am loving every panel of it! Even small details like the pain in Bruce's eyes before he says he's sorry. I am so so happy they had Bruce outright say "you're my children" (take that, "Bruce and Tim hate each other" fans!). I like how they hug and make peace but don't quite forgive each other, only acknowledging how neither are willing to change their mind. Again a nice little nuanced moment where they can still love each other even if they aren't getting along or compromising. It's just so nice to see healthy bat-content after all this time.
Anyways the real star of the show is Brent.
#yknow what putting harley in this plot would be a little out of nowhere and not fit but hear me out#i know weve had plenty harley trauma stories. and stjepan really gave us the peak of those. but weve also had many jason trauma stories#and they stil managed to make it feel refreshing and good. so i think a harley trauma bit would be cool.#totally not a shotty excuse to see my girl#batman wayne family adventures#wayne family adventures#batman#webtoon#asks
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im fine being a girl/nonbinary but i'm always so happy when people don't think I am, or think im ambiguous, or even assume I go by he/him but I don't want to be a boy really, I mean if I was born a boy I think i would be happy, happier even. but since I wasn't physically don't want to transition into styling myself more masculine
#it's like#since I'll always be seen as a trans boy and not a cis boy whats the point yknow#It's why i never correct people when they call me a guy but feel kind of repulsed when called a girl by people who dont know me personally#they don't understand what me choosing to be a girl is/my close friends understand that ambiguity#but there's no real ambiguity that I need to explain in detail or I just am content with people thinking i am online when im he/him#it feels sorta right#my gender IS what people think of me you think i'm a guy? sure! you think im the embodiment of moss? me too bro!#and after being called a guy for so long along with the association that i AM one i just got so used to it I think#that the image i built upon myself online became so drastically different to how feminine i look irl it just whiplashed me as of recently#it's not like im transmasc#I already go by it/its#she/her is fine and im used to it but in a im kind of born into this position#he/him is great but in a way you assume an inanimate object as a boy#sigh
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did you ever make a post about pete not liking tankhun ? i know you mentioned it a few times in your tags but i don't remember seeing a post. (i share your opin ions.)
I definitely toyed with the idea of meta or a gifset but I didn't ever make a full post! I love unrequited love and I ESPECIALLY love the extremely rare platonic version which Tankhun and Pete absolutely nail in my opinion!
There are loads of moments where Pete's smile drops around Tankhun very quickly, or he insults Tankhun behind his back. Instead of laughing things off like Arm and Pol, he almost has a wincing fear-response to Tankhun, which we don't really see at all from the other bodyguards.
I think that Tankhun likes to think of himself as being close friends with his bodyguards, and he does genuinely show a lot of open affection for Pete and eventually concern for his safety. But I think ultimately for Pete, Tankhun is just a part of Pete's job, and over time resentment has built up until he thinks of Tankhun as one of the *worst* parts of it. I definitely don't think he resents Tankhun enough to hurt or endanger him, but that's about as far as it goes, there's certainly very little love there.
Something about that dynamic is just particularly brilliant, especially when combined with Pete's eventual defection from Tankhun's side to Vegas'. He chooses a man who has beaten and tortured him over a man who showers him in affection and throws parties on his return.
I utterly adore Tankhun but I think as a character that's grown up in a gilded cage, he doesn't really understand that what Pete needs is a sense of his own autonomy rather than being dragged to "fun" "lets cheer up Pete" parties that Tankhun has demanded on his behalf. At least with Vegas he *chose* to go back, he handed Vegas the ropes, let him lock him back up again. Even before he develops feelings for Vegas, Pete has clearly felt like a subhuman pet for Tankhun and the main family for a long, long time and I think ironically Vegas acknowledging Pete's humanity is the tipping point for him.
I think even without their nascent romantic love as a factor, Pete would always choose Vegas. Because despite the threat of suffering, he offers a sense of freedom that Tankhun's gilded cage does not. It all makes for an incredibly interesting betrayal, and makes Pete choosing Vegas over Tankhun all the more pointed. By choosing to be Vegas' pet, he chooses to be human.
#I have had this gifset concept rattling round my brain since before I even learned to make gifs#if I didn't have so many complicated feelings about Pete after the whole Build situation I'd make it in a heartbeat tbh#my worry is that it would either be taken as a ''hating on Pete'' set and I'd get mad shit for it in my inbox#(despite it being one of my fave facets of his character)#or it would be interpreted as a ''Build's acting appreciation!'' post which tbf it kinda would be.#theres no getting away from the fact that he shaped Pete into a very interesting and nuanced character#but you wouldn't catch me dead making a ''Captain Jack Sparrow appreciation'' set even if I loved POTC as much as KPTS yknow?#like theres only so much distance I can split the character from the actor. which sucks bc Pete as a character was one of my favourites#idk. probably not the ideal answer lol#my first instict was to just make the set since it was all planned out from like december#but since January my love for Pete as a character has mostly been in a little box on a high shelf that I do not ever touch. which is sad#but it is what it is ig#anyway lol 👀#tankhun theerapanyakul#pete kp#tankhun kp#kp meta#ask#anon#watch me deliberately not putting that shit in the pete tag out of fear#anyway back on the high shelf you go little pete feelings. lets go back to simply not acknowledging u once more lol 🥲✨#goddamn I deliberately hadnt thought about him in months but now I kinda miss Pete... :( I love this ask though thank u for sending it! 🦔✨#damn rereading this its like girl. do you have an unrequited love for commas?? fucking use them?? :) anywaY#kpts
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love spending $100 on merch i cant wear because they changed clothing suppliers and didn't say anything ://
#i'm a little pissed off ngl. they usually use glildan and i know my gildan size and i like how they fit! cozy. a lil loose. not tight.#and now they used someone else and i literally put it up against a gildan of the same and it is soo different.#the fucking sleeves first of all lost like more than 2 inches of circumference and squeeze the shit out of my arms#and i'll say it ya girl's got a chest and i dont like flaunting it so shirts gotta go across but not tight yknow#but naww let everyone see cause its not the same width as the gildan ones either.#ffs. and the shirts dont feel good quality either. say what you want about gildan but i cant see sunlight easily through their black shirts.#i was really excited too :((#and they keep shipping it express which i Dont Want but i just click the only option which is stupid fucking expensive#dnp#c.text#dan and phil#phan
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rereading chobits again.......one of the most unfairly hated animes of all time!!!
#its literally that post thats like turns into an anime girl and people start booing because i didnt subvert the genre#EXCEPT SHE DID#magical girl*#like people hate it because it's like such a.... direct commentary on gender and relationships and love in a way that feels belittling to#women but i dont think it is ISSSSSS i think you need to give this woman run studio more credit and i think this group of heterosexual wome#in a male dominated industry and genre like made a piece of art that kind of was a .... perfect representation of it not really commentary#or trying to reverse it i dont know i think i like it still because there feels like theres real feelings behind it like it is not a story#that hates women but its about like women and passivity and subservience and becoming human becoming yourself becoming alive in a culture#that actually uses and views and abuses women in that way....i dont knowwwwwwwwww#like chi is not abused or treated harshly by the narrative voice but bad things happen to her yknow?? it feels like an accurate#portrayal vs like...escapism
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which is gayer? SIX or Adamandi (real)
adamandi
#like. gotta break it to you. one of these musicals is canonically lgbtq and it's not the one where women sing about their dead husband yknow#like. idk what to say! but <shrugs>#ask me stuff???#must say the fandoms are really quite different. i'm quite fascinated by the dynamics tbh#also i realise a lot of the queendom(? forgot that was the name for a hot sec) go mad about women in shiny pretty costumes slaying#but also hmmmm adamandi is very much gender for me.( for all the characters. but specifically vincent and beatrix)#and the thing about queerness is it literally gets woven into the narrative. and it's Obvious.#smth about canonical lgbt+ rly is just. it hits. the representation is real? as opposed to fandom interpretations only#(and like... i love fandom interpretations and when people can see a new side to the character that they feel seen in!!!)#(but having it be in the original content is just... yeah... you do feel kinda especially seen)#watching adamandi was a bit like first watching firebringer for me? like except for sexuality it was gender o.O#firebringer was the first musical i saw with a canon wlw couple. and like i'd known that girls could like girls for a while but#there was the small italicised oh moment where i was like ''this is actually real'' <it's maybe worth noting i wasn't very active on soc me#about consuming things other than content. so i wasn't very exposed to the community at large. so representation in media mattered!!>#similarly it's been a while since then and both online and irl i've found people who are more open about it and accepting. i've been very#very lucky in that sense. to have specific irl friendgroups where we're all out to each other <based on sentiment? i think most of us#including me. aren't openly out irl> ... and online i'm really glad to have friends who Get It and are similar to me. but the representatio#... !!! omg hsnfjkfgdsdsghf yknow?? the representation in adamandi really got me. the pronouns thing especially.#and because the core source material is Like That.. existing fandom is all accepting already. so bonus points i guess#sorry i have turned this silly little question into a reflection prompt.. but. thoughts.#[wow. on further retrospection i've never outed myself at all online either people just saw the ship art and Inferred and]#[to be fair they were Not Wrong. idk. tumblr avvy is very vastly different from irl me but neither of us feel comfortable stating it so-]#[also worthy mention of the musicals fandom that exposed me to the whole concept of lgbtq+ being a Thing at the ripe young age of 14]#[what a way to discover it. really. i say this with extreme fondness. conversely i have friends who decided through genshin or anime so idk#<i'm aware of the diverse casting thing for six!! i think it's very cool!! i also realise the show plot doesn't really have much to do w it
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imagine being a child who, along with your siblings, is exploited by the adults in your life since you're 5 years old. and then when you grow up, those older siblings turn around and exploit you too. no wonder he felt so alone. family was so important to him, it was all he had for so long, but THAT'S his family. at the end of the day, if there was enough money in it for them, they'd use him again and again
#when he so sincerely said in that interview in like. 1983. at 24 years old. 'i'm just learning about things like friendship...'#oh my god what did they do to this kid#and maybe he exaggerated that a little but i don't think he was lying about how lonely he felt#idk the family including michael always stressed that they were all very close#so i don't wanna dispute that too much it's just. idk. i don't see that#i see closeness here and there in different time periods#but i don't get the feeling that they were that close in the way that michael wanted to be close to people. in an emotional way#his relationships with his sisters make sense to me. yknow how there are 'girl dads?' michael was a girl brother#which LOL i don't mean that in any kinda Way other than i sense that he had more of an affinity for his sisters than brothers#well anyways#i have siblings i'm very close to. i can't imagine family being all i had and not even being that close#and i imagine in the 80s he'd have some mixed feelings#like if they're all you have you wanna hold on but if they suck and they're bad for you and using you then you HAVE to separate yourself#which is really hard#not to mention the parents#wugh. many thoughts about the jacksons#oh this post was prompted by the victory tour mess
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