#7 lives no way out
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Maybe I just enjoy writing angst? Anyone thought of that?
Clearly I have no self control and I have started another fanfic while my trilogy isn't even done yet. I just love them ok?! I had too!!
#trafficshipping#hermitcraft#empires smp#flower husbands#trafficblr#treebark#ethubs#nature wives#scarian#jizzie#life series au#fanfic#ao3 writer#7 lives no way out
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Offering lil doodles of them bc my eyes have been opened
#genshin impact#furina#clorinde#furinde#furina's character story 5 and her voicelines about clorinde has left me so mentally ill in the head#THE WAY FURINA FELT THAT SHE WAS NO LONGER WANTED AND ALMOST IMMEDIATELY CLORINDE POPPED UP TO INVITE HER TO A LIL GATHERING AMONG FRIENDS#NOT TO MENTION THAT CLORINDE IMMEDIATELY OFFERED TO PAY FOR HER TO HAVE BETTER LIVING CONDITIONS#EVEN WHEN DECLINED SHE STILL HELPED FURINA TIDY UP HER NEW APARTMENT BEFORE THEY WENT OUT FOR DRINKS TOGETHER#the way clorinde was no longer bound to any sort of contract but still went to visit furina and help her out of her own volition is so?????#AND the fact that little miss stonefaced 24/7 clorinde actually SMILED at furina???? chewing on aluminum foil#oughhhh they scratch at my brain so nicely#ALSO!! ALSO!! THE LONGING IN FURINA'S VOICE WHEN SHE SAYS HOW MUCH SHE TRUSTS CLORINDE AND MISSES HER IS SO!!!!!!!!!#crawling on the walls and howling as we speak#4.2 had made me already so deranged about furina to the point where she shot up from being just a funky lil guy to straight hyperfixation#I just thinjk;;;;;;; she deserves to be happy for once in her life (and have her lil emotional support bodyguard gf w/ her to smooch)
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It is my sincerest and unironic belief that we must invest in preserving "old technology." The more we move to a hegemonic, easily-surveilled way of living, the worse we will find this world to be.
Letters, public phones and transport, cash, and so much more are key to ensuring both freedom of movement and information, but also to combat the surveillance state. We need to preserve the ability to both access the world but also to be untraceable. I truly hope more people start to recognize this. It isn't about nostalgia for the past. It is about ensuring that we are actually afforded freedom, from the richest person to the person who lives on the sidewalk.
#politics#i was ranting at my dad about how pissed i am that the US has essentially killed the payphone because we have smartphones#imagine killing letters because 'oough we have email though!!!'#i'm sure people advocate for abolishing mail (and i have seen it firsthand) but i don't agree with it#we must preserve freedom of movement and information and that includes making it as accessible and public as possible imo#i do not want to live in a world wherein my smartphone is both what i MUST rely on but it is also traceable 24/7/52/365#'if you're innocent you have nothing to hide' is a fucking cop-out to permit a surveillance state by the way#it is flawed logic and i think that logic is part of the reason we got to this point#'why do you need cash? that's kind of suspicious to not LET people trace your purchases' like come ON
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#tumblr polls#polls#Sorry if the wording is weird. I thought ''be considered X where I live'' would make the most sense since 'tallness' or etc. is sort of#subjective to the people around you or your specific culture/area/etc. And if I just said ''I'm tall'' or ''I'm short'' then#the response might be 'well how do I define whether I'm tall or not?'' or etc. But then most people could probably look#at the people around them in daily life they interact with and compare based on that to get a more literal idea or something#..ANYWAY.. lol.. as usual just thought of some random thing and was like.. hrmm... i wonder what the most common#feeling about that would be.#personally I'm not even short but I just want to be really really tall... like... 7 feet tall or something. In a fantasy world type of way#of course. so like a super tall elf creature. More realistically I suppose you get health problems past a certain point#so maybe I'd be happy with 6'2“ or so.#Absolutely no hate towards people with this preference but I've always had trouble understanding the idea of wanting to be shorter#so you're Small And Cute or this and that. or whatever the base reason is. I suppose I would understand it from a surivval prespective#maybe you want to be able to hide in your environment easier and blend into a crowd. I personally would like people to be inspired to run#away from me when they see me though gjhbj#In an average grocery store or something just a normal day but then some 8 foot tall wizard man walks in and so everyone#kind of backs away slowly = yaaay I get the aisle all to myself and can shop for my produce in peace.#(except for the fact that there's a subsection of people who would intepret it as spectacle and would run towards instead of away#and pull out their dumbass phones to film Weird Thing Happening. in which case. spell of 'phone melts into molten plastic in your hands#stop filming strangers in public without their consent' be cast upon ye. )
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One thing I really love about the earlier seasons of Gilmore Girls is how unpolished and real everyone was allowed to look, even including the main characters. The clothes were ordinary and seemed to be chosen for personality instead of "hotness," Lorelai made weird makeup choices sometimes and Rory had days when her hair was a little frizzy and flyaway... The dress Lorelai "made" Rory for the dance REALLY looked like a homemade dress from cheap polyester satin and a wrinkle in the collar that never seems to lie completely flat... They felt like REAL people!
But the later seasons just don't feel the same. I'm happy for the show and their budget that they got clothing sponsorships, and the clothes are pretty to look at, but Lorelai and Rory look perpetually glossy and glamorous in a way that seems out-of-step with their personalities, income level, and situations (just like every other show!) and I MISS IT! I miss the messiness! College Rory should get to lounge around in her pajamas more, or just... SOMETHING! It just doesn't feel the same!
#Gilmore Girls#Costuming meta#I guess?#I know this has been talked about before- by me no less- but I'm FEELING it!#And I mean... it makes sense when Rory is living with her grandparents#They made a plot point out of it even! When Emily basically confiscates all her old clothes and buys her a completely new wardrobe#That made sense!#But season 7 was particularly egregious in this way. Surprise surprise
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more phoenix wright situations
#ace attorney tag#maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care.#gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth#without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly..#or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates.#i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable#there have to be Situations that make you Realise.#as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+#but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work#there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened.#Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations#the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is#people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong.#The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else.#But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me.#and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid !#so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all.#i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out...#not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing#i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life.#i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior.#does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment.#so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3
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whumptober no.7: (alt) forgotten
#whumptober2024#no.7#forgotten#altprompt#bleach#gifs#blood#rum.gif#bleach (2018)#bleach live action#ichiruki#kurosaki ichigo#kuchiki rukia#fukushi sota#sugisaki hana#bleachedit#shounenedit#jdramasource#jdramanet#cinemapix#translation note: for some reason the subs don't include that she says “shinigami” and she actually says “you (will)” after “as a result” s#i guess they thought “as a result” was a more natural stopping point? idk#this may be unrelated but#sometimes bleach translators like to localize too much like the point of characters like rukia is that they talk weird to japanese speakers#she uses a really old form of “you” which is derogatory nowadays but was once extremely polite#so it's like. does she call him that because she wants to insult him or is it just because she's old af? part of the fun of her character!#obv you can't actually translate that but idk i'm sure there are ways in english to make it sound like she talks weird#i guess using “thou” would kind of turn people off huh#although iirc “thou” fell out of fashion because it was considered ruder (more familiar) than “you” so???#but don't quote me on that
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the rendering here accurately reflects my post-round 7 mental state: a mess
open for better quality | no reposts
#alien stage#ivan#till#mizi#alnst#fanart#myart#doodle#round 7 destroyed me and this scene especially sent chills down my spine#i was crying to at least 3 diff ppl earlier today when i watched the mv#vivinos quite literally owes me therapy#something about this scene and ivan looking at till and till not looking at ivan even after round 6#sick and twisted and evil#copypasting my exact live reactions: the way till snapped out of it bc of mizi and how he immediately went to her despite the situation#at that point idt his mind was on the competition it was almost like he was seeking relief?? to me at least??#and yes i saw the post that pointed out how each of them died smiling bc they were seen by the person they cared about most#i am devastated#also shoutout to a certain someone bc now i'm on the ivantill unrealized rather than unrequited love train#it's so painful
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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"Alphabet mafia" was funny (courtesy of @birthclod) so here are my alphabet mafia + nationality headcanons for Town of Salem's best faction (sorry to the roles without skins </3)
#some elaboration in the tags if you care to read#town of salem#i'm lactose intolerant#my art#tos#assume they live in italy unless otherwise stated#consig being canonically trans by accident is insane to me. she's so fucking funny. also yes she is german-irish because of tom hagen <3#i hc the itor surname as a shortening of heitor. and that it's the forger's (her last name is NOT direction) and yuan is her bio child#this is weirdly elaborate. he's her bio kid and she raised him but also he was a test tube baby and was born via surrogacy#mafio + consig are very close friends and treat each other like siblings#they met as little kids while gf was in her city on business and mafio was a quiet kid so gf was happy that mafio had made a friend#flash forward to gf regularly going out of his way to fly a 7-year-old + family across international borders for playdates with his kid#forger & consort are like 20 years apart in age but consort looks younger than she is and forger looks older than she is#consort is ~35 and looks ~25 and forger is ~55 and looks ~70. it's rough out there for an early retinol user and a stress ager.#gf and hypno are oldest at late 60s-early 70s and jani is youngest at around 22-25#also very important that all of them have little roses somewhere. consig's is on her belt + jani's is on a little bracelet#forger's is hard to see bc very small (it's her necklace). hypno with a little rose badge holder clip was my best idea ngl#and fine. i will address the elephant in the room. disguiser. there we go i mentioned them.#'why do they have a single parent. who is it.' i swear if you can put 2 and 2 together it's really funny...
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Sorry I'm a bit late on this, but I just wanted to say congrats on finishing season 1 !! 🥳
LOSING MY MIND AT HOW PERFECT THIS IS!!!!!! THANK YOU PIO!!!!! B'*)
#fanart#This is so so so sweet...seriously thank you so much for everything pio#I'm ENTRANCED!!!!!! I've been ponyfied!!!! with the boots and cutie mark to match!!!!!#you're a huge inspiration in so many ways B'''*)#And the little creatures...they are so small but so perfectly shaped#Miss apple is PERCHED. Little Wangji is BRAIDING. Little WWX is living his best life (that face is..so cute)#little jing lin and fairy....aughh my HEART#and of course the lan junior duo.....standing smiling and standing silly. As they should be.#They are also height accurate to canon form <3#I was wating for someone to point it out but...there's a reason everytime I draw them next to flowers they are small B*)#all pd-mdzs characters are ~5-7 cm tall. They are like little fairies. I was serious every time I referred to the little strands as antenna#Rather they are like little borrowers. They have little mouse paws and tails. little mouse noses. Fine little whiskers. In my heart.#the more you know!#(I will draw them as the creatures they deserve to be. One day.)#On a meta level they are also very small. Each square panel is 1/4 of a sticky note. about 8 comics fit on one page.#Scrolling back up to look at Pio's art again to remember what its all for. That living is worth it.#Kissing this art gently and accidently hitting the post button to let these beautiful creatures roam the world wide web.#Maybe I should draw my sona as a horse for a bit... It would solve my problems about not having enough horses to draw....
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“But it is not for that.”
“That will do to explain my secret, as well as the other. I've no more business to marry Edgar Linton than I have to be in heaven; and if the wicked man in there had not brought Heathcliff so low, I shouldn't have thought of it. It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him; and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”
“But Heathcliff, if I dare you now, will you venture? If you do, I'll keep you. I'll not lie there by myself; they may bury me twelve feet deep and throw the church down over me; but I won't rest till you are with me ... I never will!”
“Where is she? Not there – not in heaven – not perished – where? Oh! you said you cared nothing for my sufferings! And I pray one prayer – I repeat it till my tongue stiffens – Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest, as long as I am living! You said I killed you – haunt me, then! The murdered do haunt their murderers. I believe – I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always – take any form – drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!”
— Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
#litedit#classiclitedit#bookedit#emily bronte#bronteedit#wuthering heights#wutheringheightsedit#userveronika#*#i have had the vision for this edit for like 7 months and i can't believe it actually came out how i wanted it to#craziest scene of all crazy scenes#i feel like people don't ever connect the ''whatever our souls are made of'' bit to this even though it's what leads her to say that#which is crazy because she's comparing her feelings for heathcliff to her begging to have her soul cast out of heaven after death.#i don't know how they can be divorced#that he says the same thing when she dies#she's not in heaven#their souls are the same in that way#he can't live while she's dead she can't die while he's alive#like no one has ever been more hand in unlovable hand in all of life and literature lmao
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i forgot to post this here
#💌 paii's art#final fantasy 7#final fantasy vii#ff7#ffvii#cloud strife#ever since square dropped news on ff7r i've been feeling like the biggest killjoy in existence#this doesn't even have anything to do w the drawing itself. i just need to let out the anger in some way. i'm sorry -crying emoji-#i have to continue ignoring it and pretend only the og exists so i can live in peace
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I have a hard time hating Donovan because as much of an asshole he is to his son, that man has done nothing wrong in my eyes. I know the goal is to keep him as a mystery and a sort of looming threat but I’m not really threatened by the unknown.
He’s a dick to Damian but it’s never made clear why. The best assumption would be that he’s rich and therefore neglectful but that doesn’t seem to be the case with all the other kids at Eden. He just comes off as paranoid for again no particular reason. The most we know is that he thinks that everyone is inherently a bunch of liars which is a nice contrast to the main cast of characters and based on that odd conversation with Twilight we know that he extends this belief even to his own family. Unfortunately, I have a hard time hating him even for that because I’m the end Damian is like 6 and it just seems to logically insane to view a child as a potential opp that I can’t take it seriously. Also he never extended that kind of suspicion to Demetrius so I dunno maybe Damian is the problem.
As for his politics, they are effectively nonexistent. Only information that we know is that he maybe possibly would be interested in starting the war again but at the same time that’s not how war works. My best understanding is that he is trying to be re-elected to start the war again but if that’s the case then why would anyone vote for him? No context is given as to why he lost the last re-election (and that’s me assuming he lost and it’s not a case of term limits) or what the general public thinks of him. There was that one scene where Millie blamed him for the death of her father so maybe the gp isn’t too fond of him but it’s also never said why. As much as I am anti war I do know war is a nuanced issue so I can’t really say if I’m against Donovan without know why he is interested in the war. He didn’t even start the war also what even is the war. It’s constantly referenced but I don’t even know what they’re talking about. The timeline is so vague and confusing.
I’m nitpicking again but it’s really confusing. I get the upset about losing family to the war but wars are far too political and complicated for me to just side with anyone. Like I feel bad for veterans in general but also a lot of them are cold blooded murderers and rapists who proudly dedicated their lives to furthering white supremacy and engaging in neocolonialism so I can only feel so bad before I just say womp womp and move on. Brainwashing does seem to be an issue in Ostania but again like meh. They specifically said Ostania isn’t a socialist state which was the core of the conflict between East and West Germany and it’s the socialist/communist beliefs that caused the most harm in East German but if that not the case here then what is actually going on.
If you have any information that can help please share I am confused 🤔
Anyways here’s a tiny Yor
#spy x family#sxf#donovan desmond#the things that concern me are irrelevant to a normal person#WWII ended 1945 and the story is set in 1960 to 1979 which means the earliest distance between the end of the war and the start of the stor#is 15 years. Yor is canonically 27 which means she was 12 in 1945 ie the end of the war but she lived through the way so that’s wrong#obviously Donnie and melly have no official age but if we go based on us politics Donovan would have had to been a minimum of 35#to become pm. one person’s calculations estimated his age at 56 which means he would have been 42 at the end of the war but WWII was 7 year#but how would the pm change mid war did everyone just ignore the bombs to go exercise their democratic rights#and again that’s assuming it’s a democratic system because they did he lost recently but idk#also that would mean he was pm for well over a decade maybe even 2 so again what the hell happened there#now I have to go re-read the entire thing because I am genuinely confused rn#also spies are notorious for causing problems and instability in other countries so twilight is the real opp here#also personally if I wanted to stalk someone to find out if they’re gonna start a war again I’m going for the blackbells#Donnie already got the boot but papa Blackbell is still operating as normal definitely more likely to encourage war than a former pm#also Melinda is so cute hehe
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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rotating something in my mind about shtola having matoya as a mentor and then growing to see her as a mother figure vs erenville and cahciua distancing themselves by referring to each other as mentor/pupil
#will anything come from this idk#but i had the realization yesterday and now im here#but it’s just interesting to me! i don’t think matoya was a perfect parent (who is) and you can see the ways#that her more negative traits have affected shtola but you can also see shtola had a pretty good childhood (just look in matoya’s relict)#and she values her to the point she takes her name in shb#vs cahciua who is so open and warm but when erenville is asked if he is ‘cahciua’s boy’#he answers that’s his mentor#and when he has a response she doesn’t like she immediately switches to ‘as my pupil’#something else to consider i think is how much of that is cahciua’s actual personality…like how truthful of a recreation of other people’s#memories of her can you get…but erenville doesn’t react like any of it is out of the ordinary behavior for her#he in fact reacts the opposite way at the end lol ‘you’re doing it again!’ or whatever it is he says#i need a text post tag#dawntrail spoilers#okay sorry something else i want to know about is shtola’s bio parents and how she feels about them and why they sent a 7 year old to live#in a cave. sometimes i want to give shtola emotions about that but i haven’t quite settled on what i think
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