#4/27/2024

[0-yeni-0]

[shitty-postal-dude-daily]

i slept all day whoops. i love drawing like a kitty

[remembertheplunge]

I’ve been following your blog since the start and I just wanted to say thanks for sharing all that you do. I’m writing a TV pilot about a group of queer friends in the 70s/80s and I’ve used this blog for inspiration before. In solidarity 💜💜 have a good day.

It's my pleasure to be sharing my journal entries with you and the rest of the Tumblr blogging community. I am honored that you have been following me since the beginning of my blog and that you are using it to inspire your work on the TV pilot. As you probably know from following my blog , my out gay life took off about this time 40 years ago in 1984. The Aids crisis added an intense pitch to the flow of events as I came out more and more. I'm glad that some of our stories contained in my blog are shedding light on what it was like then. In solidarity, your kind words are much appreciated.

[forecasts-daily]

4/27/2024

9 AM : Clear skies, with clouds on the horizon. Look to the east to see sunrise at 10:17 AM.

[pokeprism]

@namelessfries you might appreciate!

[xaviergalatis]

[pokeprism]

I realized I had several art pieces I haven't shared here, so it's art dump time!

The rest will be below the cut for your dashboard's sake!

Questions about each are welcome!

One of these was shared on Bluesky in a reply, but here's some lock screens I made in February 2024!

In other news, these other lock screens below were made 12/26/2023 and 1/1/2024 respectively! Ocean fixation was going off then, hence their shared aesthetic!

And here's some desktop images I've used for myself over the last few months!

[inthiseternalmoment]

Crying in Tokyo

Feelings have been coming up about how I felt the need to hide my sexuality starting in this country before I ever did so in the US

4/27/2024

I just cried as emotions have been coming up from being here. Being surrounded by people who smell different and yet completely familiar has been confronting, especially when they’re men. I think my child self has been left behind here in someway.

Growing up I was already different by being multiracial and multicultural, but adding being quietly gay underneath all that I think was too much for my kid self to handle. I had to compartmentalize everything best I could, and those parts of myself are starting to coming back little by little.

I was worried that A’s joke responses to my verbalized interest in the men around here were coming from an inner disgust she had with me but that has never been the case. Yet I feel that for myself.

I think to cope with how I grew up, I had to really hide my sexuality as deep as I could because I was already needing to hide other parts of myself to varying degrees.

I just had a moment where I visualized hugging my inner child/adolescent who had all these feelings and felt absolutely no one would understand them or him. But I do.

He felt unloved and undesirable in 2 cultures, 2 countries. So it’s not surprising that this is coming up now that I’m here. I feel I’ve already started the healing work of this aspect of myself when it came to my experiences in the US, but now I think it’s time to incorporate how this connects to my even earlier experiences in Japan.

As a kid I know I had immense attraction to my male peers growing up, and felt that there was absolutely no one or no where that these feelings would be valid and lovable.

And here I am at an older age finally realizing that I have felt unlovable and undesirable for so long in more ways than I realized.

The work of healing is so long and difficult, and just when you think you’ve understood the extent of the healing work you must do, your awareness of your wounds grows larger and it feels like I’m back at square one again.

I know that’s not the case, but it feels like it is when I’m hit with these things.

As a love letter to myself at every age, I need to say this:

I love you. I love you endlessly and unconditionally. Your attraction to the same sex is valid, relatable, and tough to deal with on your own when you feel different enough already.

You don’t need to hide these feelings deep within you anymore, because I’m here to feel them with you. I’m here to navigate everything with you. You are safe with me. You are taken care of with me. You can trust me because I know exactly how you feel.

I am you. That’s as close as you could possibly get to someone. So please know you're not alone and that it’s literally impossible for me to ever leave your side because there is no separation between us, only the illusion of that sometimes.

I’m breaking that illusion. You’ve been needing my help and love and support for so long, so I’m here to give it all to you. There’s nothing dirty or unlovable about you. There never was, and I appreciate that you did your best to manage this on your own but those days are over. We’re in this together now, always and forever.

You have a direct line to me always and forever, and there is nothing that could ever possibly change that.

Thank you for living life the way you have so far - we’re going to usher in a new life that incorporates everything you experienced before and expand it into more love energy.

I see, feel, and hear everything you do, so you’re never alone. Please continue to talk to me because I have an infinite space within me for you to fill.

I love you.

[remembertheplunge]

I love this, Some times I save the dirty dishes up. I wash them after some ugly experience in court (Im a criminal defense attorney). The warm water running over my hands and the actual act of accomplishing something by cleaning the dish and placing it in the dish washer is cathartic and healing. When the dishes are done, I don't now feel like I have been defeated by the day. It's symbolic victory. While I am washing the dishes, I try to stay present with touch, sound sight of the experience.

instructions for the journey by Pat Schneider

[veinsfullofstars]

👑 Kirbtober 2024 Day 27: Control 👑

(ID: Kirby series fanart of Traitor Magolor magically manipulating a lines of plushies(?) modeled after Kirby, Bandee, King Dedede, and Meta Knight. He smiles behind his scarf, resting his head casually on one hand while puppeting his new toys around with the other, the Crown atop his head watching the spectacle with its unnerving gemstone eye. END ID.)

Previous Day | Next Day | Prompt List (made by @/paintpanic)

Started on 10/10/24, finished on 10/13/24. | Kirbtober 2023 Comp

[owlfromthemeadow]

A moment of solace.

Happy Stanley Day everyone! I decided to draw something sweet. :)

[mikeywayarchive]

mikeyway: “They grow up so fast!” they say, and what a true statement that is! Rowan Louise has reached the bright age of 7. She has given me seven of the greatest years of my life and I can’t wait to watch her continue to bloom into the amazing person she is. Thank you @lilstarsparties for making her feel like an absolute superstar on her big day!! Happy Birthday Rowan - I love you! 🎂🥳

[Apr 30, 2024]

[multi-fandomdisaster]

This clip will forever live rent free in my brain-

[monster-every-day]

day 118 - 4/27/24 - all meese can do this

it's just that nobody's lived to tell the tale. They bury themselves in the ground such that only the antlers are poking out and then they eat people. Yeah they can bury themselves Don't Worry About It.

They also eat orcas. It's actually a two-way relationship. People just found those orca skeletons in the woods and chalked it up to classic orca behavior. Everyone knows Orcas tend to wander into the woods and then turn into skeletons instantaneously, that's how these meese (moose) have gotten away with it for so long.

[forecasts-daily]

4/27/2024

12 AM : Clear skies and high visibility. Look up at the rabbit in the moon, and smile.

[blyszczopies]

drew the lesbians im visibly obsessed with for this years lesbian visibility week