#3rd attempt trying to post this
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Santalla skin fancam
#arknights#GREETINGS FROM THE MOBILE APP#3rd attempt trying to post this#it has taken longer to post than to edit#her having a coral coast skin in is4 is pretty goofy but she’s pretty so idc…
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The problem with a lot of traffic life interpretations in my opinion is they don't understand character foils or don't employ them in their writing. Grian-Martyn and Scar-Ren are genuinely pretty good character foils for a series that is not really scripted or planned out like a book is. I could go on and on about how they parallel each other and the similarities between them. Even the smaller details between the four usually match up
leaving the rant in the tags so I don't have a huge block of text again ueueue
#jamies bad posts#like a simple example grian is an “unwilling” (though we all know thats bs) bodyguard/protector of scar#while martyn is a willing protector of ren#but i was just watching rendogs first episode and he says that his plan is to first go around attempting to trade with everyone#and it just. it STRIKES me how similar scar and ren are#they both have tempers when called for they both go around playing a friend to all and trying to trade#fuck it in the first few minutes of rens episode hes chasing rabbits around the desert#like ren and scar are two sides of the same coin in the context of third life#thats what makes the dogwarts/monopoly mountain arc so INTERESTING#because they both have goals good and bad and when you watch the others povs each side looks so... intimidating. so different#its only when you get really up close you realize theyre the same type of person#like martyn and grian idk just watching them interact is fun. its really fun#the way martyn gave grian a diamond sword in third life to protect him versus grian doing that w etho secret life#i can mostly think of just the little details but like. come ON#GO WATCH THEIR VIDEOS. ITS SO UNCANNY.#ren and scar genuinely drive me insaneee it drives me insaneee#ok like rendog makes a business out of enchanting and do you know what scar goes insane every season afterwards trying to get#the FUCKING enchanting table#if u like watcher lore u also get the yummy fact that grian and martyn were BOTH on evo#like....#the watcher/listener parallels. idk#third life#3rd life#trafficblr#traffic smp#life series#grian#gtws#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar
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I was trying to reblog this post where someone was looking for fix its and tumblr didn't publish the post and I lost the whole thing so making a whole new post
This Impossible Happiness by FriendofCarlotta
https://archiveofourown.org/works/59253775
50k, dean in heaven, The Winchesters, multiverse
Don’t Tell Me That Your Love Is Gone by GarrisonsLilAngel
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29386446
13k, dean keeps getting hurt and almost dies, soul bond
You Will Be Loved by startswithf
https://archiveofourown.org/works/46520506
22k, established relationship, stanford era!dean time travel
Proverbs 13:12 by starlingcas
https://archiveofourown.org/works/40340370
16k, dean and cas get stuck in a tree
A Long Road Back by allthismusic
https://archiveofourown.org/works/42420903
41k, dean trying to have a life and find purpose after losing cas
Amen (Let it Be So) by vibesandwonders
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29908482
52k, cas gets saved from the empty but he's not quite right
Cowboy Like Me by Goth-Bias (GothBias)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/32556049
55k, jack saves cas from the empty
stay by thisisapaige
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28945671
15k, dean in heaven
Cas, it’s an expression. For Christ's sake, Google it! by Say_It_In_Enochian
https://archiveofourown.org/works/40588902
20k, cas lives in the bunker after getting saved from the empty
Sing Me to Sleep by slipper007
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29530674
26k, dean saves cas from the empty
that's how the light gets in by allthismusic
https://archiveofourown.org/works/36182524
11k, dean saves cas from the empty
whisper your name without making a noise by deancaskiss
https://archiveofourown.org/works/42881913
12k, dean saves cas from the empty, mute!dean
ascend by quiettewandering
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27823678
53k, dean saves cas from the empty
the home we make together by vaudelin
https://archiveofourown.org/works/35417089
48k, dean saves cas from the empty, angel possession
Everywhere by loversantiquities
https://archiveofourown.org/works/44923165
30k, cas finds dean in a rehab facility due to drug addiction
I'd Search Forever Just To Bring You Home by AngelWithoutAShotgun
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29611152
25k, dean saves cas from the empty
enjoy!
#spn#spn fanfic#destiel#my fic recs#3rd time trying to get this to post#sorry for non click able links#made this in my notes app#cuz tumblr wouldn't publish the other two attempts
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Colors swirling in the air like oil stains in a holographic puddle. They form shapes around one single golden orb, which is floating in the middle of the mistlike essence.
#kirehn draws#the passenger if#the passenger#the passenger game#bruh I do not know the tags for this the last time I drew something for the demo was my newman in 2020 okay#okay so I always knew roach was and would be my favorite but come ON#I did not expect to fall this hard I love them and their nibbles so much ;3;#trying to figure out some flickering animation or something but cs5 doesn't have the features I got used to in cc :C#does cs6 I wonder... hmm#if I DO ever get it done I'll post it too#digital art#artists on tumblr#january 1 and I have something already? I am setting the bar too high aren't I#debuting the new sig stamp I guess#I think it's crooked I'll need to adjust#I forgot to screenshot my newman's stats in the end so I'm on my 3rd run through already =3=;;;#I need to attempt to romance someone else but I don't think it's possible#the passenger spoilers#I guess sort of since you might not get the description
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It's a Match! || 141 x reader
[ Chapter 1 ] || [ Chapter 3 ]
Pairing: Soap x Reader || 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1K~ cw: a bit of dirty talking/innuendos Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you?
Chapter 2: Johnny
“Oh, hello…” You remarked to yourself as your eyes locked into a stunning pair of blue eyes on your screen, stopping your mindless right-swipping. “...Johnny.”
“You’re 29… A soldier… Scottish… Are you friends with Kyle?” You mused playfully. “Let me guess, you’re a gym bro, aren’t you?” You asked sarcastically as you tapped your finger on the right side, skipping through his pictures. The first one immediately after was him lifting while wearing a weightlifting belt. “Yup… Mandatory gym pic.”
Chuckling to yourself, you snap a screenshot of his profile to the girls as well, sending it quick.
leah: @/mia Whatever good energy you sent its working. second hot guy in the last 5 minutes! mia: i lit a CANDLE for this!!!!! leah: there weren’t any handsome guys like this when i was on tinder?! 😫 UNFAIR. 🙄 you: blow it out then cause this is the 3rd actually. leah: 3rd??? Where’s number 2??? you: didn’t think to snap a screenshot. hasn’t matched me back yet. mia: has he posted a shirtless pic? you: kyle did and this one idk but probably. need to check. leah: Don’t forget to send it over.🥴
Shaking your head and laughing in amusement, you went back to Tinder, checking on ‘Johnny’. The mandatory gym pic was there… a couple of them in fact! And then the mandatory shirtless selfie. Or rather… The mandatory shirtless SELFIES. Plural.
Three of them… The first one was him just straight up wearing just a towel… And the next was him in a kilt… And the next was him with a button-up very much so unbuttoned.
“Oh, my, Johnny-John-John… You sure know how to woo a bird…” You joked to yourself.
You dragged your finger down to check his bio and immediately frowned. “Of course…” You trailed off with a disappointed frown as you snuck another spring roll into your mouth.
He might be stupidly attractive, but his personality… Gosh, he doesn’t know how to sell himself. Boring, boring, boring. “I work out and like video games!” You quipped mockingly and scoffed a bit.
“Artist.” You remarked when you reached the last of his profile’s tags, spotting that word in the hobby section. “An artist? You?” You asked your phone screen as if Johnny would come alive in it and answer you.
You’d admit, him calling himself an artist was intriguing enough, but normally that wouldn’t be enough to make you Swipe Right on him… But you’re not under normal circumstances. You promised your friends you’d Swipe Right on everyone so…
Your phone almost dropped out of your hand as soon as the ‘It’s a Match’ screen showed. “Of course… He’s probably swiping right on everyone as well…” Rolling your eyes, you go to click off the screen but accidentally enter DMs.
Johnny: ye have any scottish in you? you: not that i know of. Johnny: would ye like to? 🫦 Johnny: wait. wdym not that ye know of??? Johnny: i was trying to be filthy and now got me curious bonnie
“Fuckin’ hell…” You said as you set down your phone and covered your face before breaking into a fit of giggles.
The fact you had accidentally ruined his pick-up line and succeeded in stumping him got you very, very amused. Okay, maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as boring as you thought.
you: story for another time. you: i walked right into that one tho. good job. Johnny: no ye cant do that Johnny: gotta tell me all about it now you: i mean werent scottish people everywhere in the uk at one point? you: i might be 1/370232103484320th scottish. Johnny: would ye like some MORE scottish in ye then? 🫦 you: solid attempt again. you: if you keep trying you might just get there. Johnny: i intend to dont worry you: soooo… Johnny: so? you: were you wearing underwear under the kilt? Johnny: no Johnny: why want a peek? 😏 you: i’m good you: so ur an artist? Johnny: i am Johnny: ur fast at typing fuck you: what kind? you: keep up then! Johnny: drawing Johnny: im trying 🥴 you: can i see some? Johnny: hanging with my mates difficult to text fast 😤 Johnny: idk if ull be in the mood to see anything after im done with ye you: why? 🤨 Johnny: might be too tired and need to be cuddled to sleep 😏 you: oh fuck off. Johnny: u just cursed me out Johnny: i think m in love 😫 Johnny: gonna tell my mates i just met my spouse 🥴🥴 you: don’t give them any ideas. you: haven’t even agreed to meet up with you. you: haven’t been invited in the first place. Johnny: meet up with me 🙏 Johnny: meet up with me 🙏 Johnny: meet up with me 🙏 Johnny: meet up with me 🙏 Johnny: meet up with me 🙏
Your eyes widened at his enthusiasm and persistence. Okay, he was definitely not boring… It was actually kind of endearing and funny!
you: jc r u copypasting that? Johnny: yes Johnny: are ye going to or not you: can i get back to you on that? Johnny: ill wait for ye you: sure you do that johnny Johnny: ow the sarcasm burns
Concealing a chuckle, you clicked off the DMs page for the second time tonight… but, this time, you closed the app and focused on eating dinner.
Sure, this whole dating app thing was stupid, but at least you were enjoying yourself.
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IF THE GIF DOESN'T WORK FOR YOU: CLICK HERE
taglist: @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthoney , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe
#ikea writes 💚#it's a match! fic#cod modern warfare#cod fanfic#captain john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#text story#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#soap x reader#johnny soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish x reader
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Navamsa/D9 Observations 4
Accuracy influenced by ENTIRE d9 chart AND natal/langa.
For full accuracy, you MUST read alongside lagna. If not promised in lagna, it will not happen. Navamsa confirms and denies the strengths + lasting effects of lagna predictions
Jupiter in 12th
Husband may be from a different ethnicity, religion or country. OR it may be that they are simply from a different city/province or you meet far from the homeland.
You can spend a lot after marriage and/or later in life. You can desire luxury. Possible examples: First class flights not regular, expensive home, designer bags/watches, etc.
You can desire an intelligent spouse. You will not find an immature person attractive.
You can be generous with this placement. You may donate, volunteer, or simply tip big. You can bless people later in life without realizing it.
Moon in 12th
Strong intuition. You can pick up things that truly shock people. EX: Someone lies, you call them out and intuitively guess the truth, the person is shocked they believe someone else must have told you the truth, there is no way you could have known that.
You can deal with stomach or menstrual problems. You may become bloated easily.
You can have conflict in the workplace. You could find romance in the workplace. Or rumours that you are involved in romance in the workplace.
You can be very compassionate. Depending on sign, you may or may not express it. EX: Aqua moon, you will be empathetic but people may believe you are cold and unfeeling.
You can enjoy quiet alone activities - reading, writing, meditation, yoga, etc.
Your marriage will be deeply passionate. You can cry and feel overwhelmed due to your love for your partner. You are deeply connected and in love.
Sun in 12th
This is an indicator for having good support from your in-laws. However, you may leave behind your own family especially the father. This can be due to conflict or you move further away. You can fight with your father over money at some point in life too.
You are highly likely to live far away from homeland. This doesn't mean you're destined to live in like NYC or London. However, if you work for it that may be the case. But more likely, you simply move further away from homeland like across the country. If you do stay in homeland, you may experience poor mental health. Your soul desires to explore.
This placement is a BIG indicator of paying lots of money to the government. This can be for many reasons - possible examples: You move to a new country, you must pay for visas and fees. Or you become very wealthy, thus you will pay a lot in tax.
Bad manifestation, you pay fees or fines as you get in legal trouble. For more insight search which house is in Leo - ex: 4th H leo + Sun in 12th = You could pay high tax on the home. 6th Leo + Sun in 12th = Medical bills or Work visa or pets or buying expensive everyday products for the home.
Accuracy will depend on ENTIRE chart. This post isn't taking into consideration any aspects, where 12th H ruler is, and the most important the natal/langa.
One thing to be aware of is: Sun is the natural 5th House ruler, 5th H is romance. Sun in the 12th H indicates after marriage and/or later in life, one may feel romance is lost as 12th H deals with losses. To reactivate romance, you must move or travel together. Becoming routined and predictable is very likely but easy fix to that issue is try new things/explore new things.
Rahu in 3rd House
You or the spouse exaggerate in communication. For ex: You guys are watching shark tank, you casually say "I'm going to start a business" - however, you never do because truly your soul has no desire for it.
Or you exaggerate how great the spouse is to people. This doesn't mean the spouse isn't great but when talking to someone else you will only discuss the spouse's best traits. You want others to think you have the best life/marriage.
Rahu creates illusions. You can attempt to convince others or yourself the marriage/spouse is someone they're not. EX: You always wanted a spouse who would be spontaneous and adventurous. In reality, your spouse could be a homebody and rarely likes going out. You could drag the spouse out the house on your ideal adventure - maybe a roadtrip or hike or camping - the spouse hates it but you'll take a happy photo and/or tell people it was so fun and exciting.
The worst manifestation of this placement would be exaggerating so much you're lying. It could trouble the marriage. EX: You constantly take photos of yourself & the spouse for social media. This begins to irritate your spouse. They don't like how obsessed you are with proving you have a good life to your friends and family. This leads to conflict.
If harshly placed, you can find rumours about you, your spouse and unfortunately even your children. These rumours can be due to social media, your own aunts/uncles, siblings & friends.
If well placed, this shows furthering your education after marriage and/or later in life. You could go back to university, you could teach yourself how to play an instrument. You could become interested in an academic topic. There are many ways to become educated, these are a few examples.
That is simply an example. Accuracy will depend on entire chart and especially we have to consider the natal/langa for the full story.
Mercury in 4th House
These people tend to have library, studies and/or offices in their home.
Lots of movement when it comes to home. You can constantly be moving or constantly have people coming over. possible examples: you have many events/holidays at your home, you often invite in-laws or your own family to the home, you have pets, you workout from home.
You can become very good at managing in the home. You know when to rebuy things, you know when kids need to be picked up/dropped off. You can be in charge of controlling these types of tasks.
If afflicted, the spouse can reveal too much about the home life. ex: they tell their friends or family something you wish they'd kept private. The spouse isn't likely to be doing this to be mean, they may simply talk too much.
Venus in 11th House
People may really support your marriage. This can manifest as a joyful wedding party and/or love/support from both sides of family. If afflicted, this can change. for ex: if venus is conjunct sun in 11th navamsa - this can show courthouse marriage, no ceremony, not feeling the desire to do a traditional wedding, etc.
After marriage and/or later in life, you dislike working for other people. You may want to work for yourself. However, this is not the strongest indicator of business ownership.
You will make many friends after marriage. They can be very helpful to you. They are likely to be from different background than you - religion, ethnicity or country or even work/industries.
If you have an older sister, she may be helpful to you later in life. This could be a literal gift or advice. However, check aspects and signs, sometimes it may be conflict that occurs. EX: 11th H Ruler in 8th, your relationship is distant.
You can gain a lot, you can have a nice home, nice cars, nice clothing. However, see if venus is placed well, sometimes this is overspending.
Mars in 11th House
You can cut off friendships after marriage and/or later in life. You can become a social climber - only wanting friendship if it helps you gain status.
Sometimes when placed in connection to saturn (even though mars is exalted in cap), the person can become deeply selfish disregarding their family, their spouse - basically everyone is second to themselves. They prioritize money and gains. ex: getting an inheritance from a parent, you find a way to keep it for yourself even though you know it should be divided amongst your siblings.
On the bright side, your in-laws can be a good support to you. They can be kind and helpful to you. This is only one indicator tho. Check 8th House and 8th House ruler placement for more info on spouse's family.
Mars can want to fight for causes too. If not fighting with people you can fight FOR people. You can become interested in social movements, politics, charities, etc.
If exalted in cap and/or placed with benefic planets, this is an indicator for gaining through marriage. Later in life and/or after marriage, you can be motivated to work/increase income. EX: You can start a business, you can go back to school to advance career, you can become smarter with money/finances. This may be due to the spouse's expertise or simply you mature naturally.
Ketu in 9th House
Late marriage indicator. You can be very specific with what you want, you're attracted to very few people.
Disconnect with the father.
If harshly placed, you can be cheated out of inheritance due to family members.
Check entire chart d9 & natal for full accuracy.
11th Ruler in 8th House
Poor relationship with elder sibling is likely.
You keep friendships and social network secret. You may rarely post or discuss who you’re connected with socially. This can be due to many reasons depending on entire chart.
Your friends can be deep thinkers. They like to get to the root of the problem. They may discuss theories with you. They are not afraid to discuss the taboo.
You can gain through hidden things - ex: law work, psych or counselling work, earning through oil because it is literally hidden underground.
You may keep your gains hidden. ex: couple doesn’t tell family or anybody how much money they have. they don’t care to show off. they don’t want family to ask for help. this is just an example tho.
Depending on if the ruler is well placed in the 8th, you could experience ups and downs with your gains. You suddenly lose, you suddenly gain. Be cautious of gambling and other reckless money choices.
Ex: Saturn is ruler of 11th placed in 8th = This suggests a steady but slow rise. It’s less likely you experience ups and downs unless you try to rush or cheat saturn. A long life is likely.
Mercury in 8th House
The spouse isn’t likely to bring wealth into the marriage. However, they are an asset in making money together. They can be good at budgeting. They can be good at closing deals.
The couple will be secretive in communication. You won’t like to sharw what you’re talking about with anybody. Neither person goes repeating the convo to their family or friends. You keep your plans and secrets private.
However, this placement brings in gossip. People will have negative assumptions about you due to rumours. This is even more likely if Mercury is in scorpio 8th H. You guys are so private, people basically just stuff making stuff about you guys. Or you find out people are gossiping and then become private as a result.
You can have to interact with one another’s families a lot. You may be social and attend many events. You may genuinely enjoy spending time with families. You or spouse may feel forced as one person does enjoy it while the other does not. Your in-laws are not afraid to voice their opinions with this placement.
5th Ruler in 9th &/or Rahu in 9th
These are often in the charts of people who convert to a religion to marry their spouse.
This is not always the outcome. Entire d9 and marla needs to be taken into consideration.
Sun in 11th House
These people are very devoted to the spouse and children. They make sure spouse and kids are okay before thinking about themselves.
These people often end up the main provider for the family after marriage. They can make more than spouse. The spouse may stop working later in life. Or they have main control over money management - ex: you both work but you do the taxes. If you do not like supporting the spouse financially, this can lead to problems.
Another ex: Sun in Libra (debilitated) in 11th H navamsa - this person has many divorce indicators in D1 and D9. For them, they divorced and naturally spent the later half of their life as the sole provider for their household. This is another way being the breadwinner can manifest with sun in 11th navamsa placement.
You can have many friends later in life. However, some are likely to try to be snakes.
You can gain high status amongst your social circles and career. Depending on aspects and signs, people may be intimidated by your status and you will have a small circle.
Accuracy influenced on ENTIRE natal and d9. The d9 can’t be read without the natal.
Jupiter in 11th House
This suggests you will gain through your own mother after marriage and/or later in life.
This is an indicator for more sons than daughters.
You can have educated friends/social circle. Friends from many different backgrounds. You may have many friends. You can be fortunate in your friend group.
You can desire a big home. The children can add to your gains.
Rahu in 12th House
You will travel and experience a lot of different cultures after marriage and/or later in life.
When you are travelling, you are likely to have unique experiences. You will not have the casual tourist experience. You can meet people - not necessarily romantically - that are very interesting.
You can gain popularity in foreign places.
The negative side is this is one indicator of addiction issues. However, it is only one indicator so it will not always manifest as that. The positive manifestation of this is you could use that desire to escape to meditate, workout your body, get lost in your work, etc.
Rahu in 12th makes divorce unlikely imo. But if divorce was to occur, it would be very difficult to finalize. Examples I have seen: Spouse refuses to sign divorce papers, couple continues to go back and forth on whether they actually want divorce.
Accuracy dependent on entire chart.
Venus in 12th House
Marrying someone from a different background is likely. This can be someone from a different religion, country or ethnicity.
Spouse is likely to become/or be religious. For men Venus is the wife, for woman Venus is you as a wife, so you can become religious.
Your or the spouse can have wasteful spending or eating habits. This doesn’t mean you’ll go broke due to bad money choices. EX: You or the spouse collect an item. You or the spouse buy an item you already like a sofa in a new style just because.
You can have many friends from different backgrounds. You can have a connection with the Middle East. You could have friends who are religious.
Venus conjunct Rahu in 12th
Rahu amplifies the sign and planets in touches. The description of Venus In 12th is amplified. There are pros and cons to this as rahu is a malific.
Ascpects, sign and 12th H ruler can change the accuracy.
Rahu is obsessive too. This can make someone very obsessed with Venus things such love, beauty, money. The negative of this is you can experience partners who have love affairs. The positive of this would be the spouse is devoted to the wife (Venus).
In 12th, you can be obsessed with foreign cultures/places. You can strongly desire moving to foreign land. Depending on how motivated a person is, moving to a foreign place is likely after marriage and/or later in life.
KEEP IN MIND FOR THESE PREDICTIONS:
When something isn’t promised in natal, it will not happen. The D1 shows the sky you were born under, no other chart has power over D1.
#astrology observations#navamsa#jupiter in 12th house#moon in 12th house#sun in 12th house#rahu in 3rd house#mercury in 4th house#venus in 11th house#mars in 11th house#ketu in 9th house#11th house ruler in 8th house#mercury in 8th house#rahu in 9th house#5th house ruler in 9th house#sun in 11th house#rahu in 12th house#venus in 12th house#rahu conjunct venus in 12th house
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It Wasn't Nothing.
Part 2 of Is It Casual?
Logan howlett x Mutant Reader
Warning: Angst
Fandom: Wolverine/X-Men
A/N: So this was meant to be a 2 part but now it's gonna be a 3rd part story, the 3rd will be the final part, promise 🤞 I tried posting but my draft was deleted so like wtf, Tumblr.
The pounding in your head reverbated against your skull as consciousness took hold of you, it’s steady and relentless rhythm motivating you to finally open your heavy eyelids, your temples throbbed as you tried to observe your surroundings, the bright lights only intensifying the sharp pain all throughout your head.
The voices that hovered over you muffled, your eyes doing little to focus as their figures were blurry shapes that moved too fast for your mind to comprehend.
You can feel yourself being carried in someone’s arms, the movement of their body swift and hurried as they panically try grabbing your attention by speaking down to you but it did little to sway the remnants of darkness that lingered in the corners of your vision. Your head swings backwards, your body limp as you feel the leftover strength leave just as soon as it comes in waves.
The warm liquid on top of your lip causes you to hesitantly touch it, your blurry vision picking up the crimson that stained your fingertips, You feel your heart sink and your chest heaves in panic as you register that something is truly wrong and you don’t remember a single relevant detail from the last few hours.
All that you remember was being in your room before there was nothing, there were gaps in your memory and it made you clutch your head in pain as you tried to think back in attempt of remembering anything at all, your cry of pain causes a chain of reactions of alarm as you felt hands on your body with heightened concern, you can feel yourself being pulled away as you felt the hand of the person holding you place securely touching the side of your head gently pushing your face into the crook of their neck, you can feel the vibration of their rapid pulse on your cheek.
This smell.. Pine, whiskey, and vintage cigars. You would know that smell with pinpoint precision. You grip his shirt in your hand as you whimper from the onslaught of pain grabbing hold of you.
“Logan..” His grip tightens as he sighs in relief of finally hearing your voice, the dread that hung over them all as you screamed and writhed in agony just about gave him a heart attack, he jumped out of his sleep as soon as the first high pitched cry emitted from your room, your screams bouncing off the quiet halls of the mansion, every item lined along the walls knocked down in result of your unstable power.
Now as he looked at you, curled into yourself in agony and the blood dripping from your nose in his arms triggered an innate need to protect you from everything and anything, the protectiveness burning deep in his chest and the throbbing in his head doing little to prevent him from focusing on you as he held you closer to him away from the hands of the worried friends surrounding the both of you, he's in a state of tunnel vision and it's focused only on you.
Storm’s eyes are glossy with unshed tears and Jean hurriedly jogs besides Logan towards the infirmary intent on figuring out what happened within the confines of your room, her hand lightly grazed over your heated forehead before she snaps her hand back as Logan growls in response to the intrusion.
“We need to contain her, Logan. She could accidentally destroy the mansion if another wave disorientates her.” Jean firmly looks at Logan motioning to the table top that he’ll have to place you on, his brows furrowed in frustration and it continues to grow as he mulls over the implication but he finally relents as he regretfully places you down, Jean sighs in relief injecting you with a serum and he watches as your body slowly uncoils and lays limp just moments after the serum settles into your veins.
“Worry not, Logan. She’ll be okay, we’ll find out what happened.” The Professor says as he enters the room, Scott following in behind him, his lips pulled down in a worried frown as his head turns in your direction, his visor doing little to conceal the concerned furrow of his brows. Storm stands in the doorway, her hand gripping the doorsill as her eyes stay stuck on your motionless figure, her face says all as she bites her lip incessantly.
“I'll be monitoring her, I'm going to check her vitals right now. I’ll let you know as soon as I find anything.” Jean says as she hooks you up to a Holter monitor, the steady beep of the machine indicating your steady heartbeat easing the anxiety that hangs heavy in his chest. “The second you do.” He breathes out, his hand wrapped around your wrist gently squeezing before he forces himself to turn and head out the door, the image of the dried blood on your face burned into his mind’s eye.
●○●○●○●○●○●○
Waking was difficult by all means as you felt the strain in your body, the ache and throb of every muscle and you couldn't help but think maybe floating in between the plains of sleep was much better than this hell you're enduring. As you force yourself to lift your upper body, your arms wobbling with the exerted effort, you notice that your head feels a hundred times heavier as you try lifting your head, the corners of your vision blurry but by all means better than before.
The feeling of emptiness hits you like a crushing wave, the quiet much louder to you than you ever experienced before as you lift your hand intending on using your telekinesis on the full water bottle perched on the empty steel table next to you. There was no movement.
Your eyebrows furrow as you strain to move it, the reality of your ability laying dormant sends a strike of panic throughout your body. No, that's impossible..
The sound of the infirmary door opening rips you from your thoughts as you hear the click of Jean's heels on the marble floor, she hurries over to you as her hand gently grabs your shoulder.
“Oh thank goodness, I was so worried you weren't gonna wake.” She sighs as she checks over your face, tilting your head towards the overhead lights to check the current state of your pupils. “Jean..My powers.” You sputter, your voice strained and tinged with anxiety, Jean cups your cheeks as she smiles weakly and shakes her head.
“It's okay. It's just subdued temporarily. Your powers were unstable during the incident.” You sigh in relief, nodding as you slowly sit yourself up, gripping the side of your head as the lightheadedness immerses your senses.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Jean asks slowly, afraid of elevating the rippling headache throughout your head, and it halts your train of thought as you try to piece missing details in your mind. “I remember Logan..We were in the living room talking..then I went to my room, my memory blanks from there..” You mutter, your head feels scrambled, and you wonder if you've been pushing yourself too hard with your abilities, that you’ve miscalculated just how much you can handle.
“Well, I checked your vitals, and they came back positive for the most part.. I think it could've been a concussion that triggered the event, so I suggest you hold back from using your paramnesia for a while.” Jean says as she unhooks you from the Holter monitor. She sighs as she looks to you with a frown, taking over her lips, her hand gripping yours. “Please be careful, don't push yourself too hard.. You should speak to Logan and Storm. They're taking it especially hard, and I'll inform the professor of your status.”
You nod as you weakly squeeze her hand back. She nods in response, slipping a bottle of ibuprofen in your hand. “Just in case of any severe headaches.” Taking the bottle in your hand,you observe the small white capsules.
“Thanks Jean.”
○●○●○●○●○●○●
The mansion was unusually still, like the walls themselves were holding their breath, awaiting for the other shoe to drop and you can’t help but notice how empty you feel from the lack of presence from your powers.
There was no buzz from being in close proximity from others mind and the tingle in your fingertips from your telekinesis had no presence, you were a husk of your former self and though you knew without a doubt that your powers would return to you, you’ve never experienced a moment in your life without them, every trial and tribulation you had your powers has been through every one of them alongside of you.
As you ran your finger along the wall a chill ran up your spine, it was unusually cold like the air was brewing up an unexpected snowfall and as you turned the corner, you found the answer to the unexpected chill that hung in the room.
“Ororo..” Your voice is soft as you look over at the white-haired woman holding her knees to her chest, the open windows blowing in unpredicted snowflakes over her figure. You place your slightly trembling hands on the tops of her knees, the cold wind enveloping your body in a tight grasp as your hair blows back from the gusts flowing in as she looks up at you, she quickly lifts herself onto her knees as she grasps your cheeks into her chilly hands.
“Oh sweetheart, I was so worried!” She pulls you into a hug, you hug her back with just as much vigor as you felt her relief and you can’t help but wonder just how bad you looked from their perspective, did you look like you were dying just as much as you felt you were?
The snow that was blowing in had died down as you heard the song of the birds outside, your eyes trailing over the mess of the room, you're gonna assume that the culprit was you as you looked over the fallen books and picture frames, hopefully the kids didn’t witness your unprecedented state.
“I’m sorry, Stormie.” Your voice is muffled by her shoulder, and she only hugs you tighter. “I knew something was wrong, I should’ve stayed with you.” Her voice is tight with shame and sadness, and you shake your head quickly, pulling back to look her in the eye as you place your hand over her cheek.
“No, it wasn’t anyone's fault, okay? I'm here, I'm okay, Ororo.” She nods briskly, sighing as she looks over you again, a small frown on her lips, her fingers grazing over your temple.
“How's your head?” You smile weakly “I’m much better now, Jean thinks it could've been a concussion.” You show her your bottle of ibuprofen shaking it, the rattling reverberating off the walls in the quiet room. “I've got it covered, so don't worry, Stormie.” She shakes her head, her smile not entirely convincing. “It’s hard not to, I almost died from the stress.”
She gently pets your hair down as she hugs you again, her cheek pressed against yours. “Please try not to do that again, I don't want to lose my best friend.” You nod, your fingers gently holding her arm. “I'll try not to.” She pulls back, her smile just a bit brighter.
“I’m gonna assume you're also gonna talk to Logan.” Her eyes hold a sympathetic glint to them, and your eyebrows furrow as you look down. “Yeah..” She pats your arm. “He's taking it the hardest, Jean told him your results as soon as possible, but he’s locked himself in his room.” You nod as you place your hand over hers. “I’ll speak to him. It’ll be fine.”
○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○
Yeah this doesn't feel fine at all, it felt hard to breath as you stood before his door, your arm glued to your side and it felt like your muscles were too tense to even make the slightest movement. Your temples throbbed and there was a high pitched ringing in your ears that you refrained from acknowledging, the thought of coming face to face with him after what you felt like a near death experience has you rattled for some reason. You know you have nothing to fear.
He was not angry with you by any means, but there was a heaviness in your chest, and your stomach was turning with a nauseated feeling. This was by all means not the norm for you, Logan was your closest friend and confidant, so what was this relentless feeling gnawing at your insides?
Logan is definitely not an easy person to get along with since his short temper and ‘Fuck you’ etiquette tends to throw a lot people off so the friendship between you two was something that was unexpected to everyone else due to your ‘Take no shit’ attitude but other wise pleasant personality totally clashed with his but there was an unspoken understanding between you, the man who preferred action than words and you, the mutant who could do just that.
A duo who worked all too well together.
You unclenched your fingers, stretching them out until the cracks of your fingers satisfied you enough for you to finally work up the courage to knock, there was silence before Logan's rough voice called out from what you assumed was the corner of his room, he was more than likely settled on his arm chair drowning in his whiskey and stuck in a haze of cigar smoke, you can smell it from here.
“I don't feel like talking right now, leave.” You don't even bother answering before opening his door, the natural light streaming through the window doing little to cast away the shadows in the corners of his room. “What did I just say, Bub?” You walk into the room, closing the door behind you, sighing.
“Not even me, Wolvie?” He's up before you can fully turn back to him grabbing you and pulling you into him, you stumble in his grip holding onto his sides to steady yourself, you can hear his heart beating heavy in his chest and his ragged breathing as he presses his face into your hair.
“Aw, you missed me.” You smoothly tease as you place your hands on his strong forearms, you try to look up at him but he has you stuck in place and it seems like he's frozen in a state of shock as he processes that your okay and standing right infront of him, that you weren't in a comatose state lying on a cold infirmary table but here, with him.
“You're a pain in my ass, you know that, right? I thought you were dying in my arms.” He's looking you in the eye as his hand grasps your cheek, forcing you to look back at him. You place your hand on top of his. “It felt like I was.” You say honestly, a weak smile on your lips.
“Why didn't you say anything to me, anything at all before you went to your room? I should've been with you..” He felt as if he could've prevented this situation you both had no idea was going to happen, Logan has always been one to blame himself for things that were out of his control, a trait you two seemed to share.
“We couldn't have known Lo, it's not anyone's fault.” He sighs as he hugs you again, and it's silent as you both take in just how much of a scare this whole situation caused you both. “When I was carrying you, I thought you were going to give out in my arms.. I was praying to God that it not happen, I'd rather everything bad happen to me before you.. never you.”
It broke your heart in a way that you couldn't possibly explain, like a balm was placed over a wound that you never knew about but your mind refused to give answers for what it could possibly mean.
“Logan, I'm so sorry.” The statement gave you pause, the words flowed out of your mouth almost like your subconscious was longing to say those words for so long but the ringing in your ears prevents you from thinking about it more.
“Don't apologize, Kid. I'm just glad you're okay.” You nod, your eyes misty with unshed tears, but you rub your eyes quickly. “You can't get rid of me so easily, ol’ man.” He shakes his head as he pinches your cheek, the distant look in his eyes telling with words unsaid.
“Wasn't planning on it.”
○●○●○●○●○●○●○
Life went back as it before the incident but the others kept a closer on you, they asked you if you were feeling well more often and their eyes followed you as if they were trying to catch even the smallest detail off about you that could entail that another episode was on the horizon but you tried to avoid any confrontation concerning their behavior towards you.
It was hard enough having to accept that you not only may have overworked yourself to the point of accidentally annihilating yourself but the mansion too but you also have to deal with the fact that you worried your friends so much so that they can't seem to shake off the fear of it happening again.
Logan was especially attentive to you even though he tries to play it off, he'll knock on your door using the excuse of bringing you snacks just so he could see that you were okay, if he could have it his way, your door would be open 24/7. He also keeps close to you at all times whether that be on a day trip with the school or on a small mission but you let him since you know he means well and it eases his nerves more than he's willing to admit.
You've been training more with the professor one on one and he seems perplexed by the setback in your paramnesia powers, he thinks maybe the incident may been the cause of it so you two have been taking it slow, the headaches becoming more frequent the more you try to use the full potential of your powers.
You can still use your telekinetic powers with no hindrance so the professor has allowed you on smaller missions and with training in the danger room but now you worry about your bigger mission against The Acolytes that you'll be fighting against soon, you can only hope that your powers will reach their full potential before then.
《 TAGLIST 》
@fandomsunited
@plan3t-plut0
@thewiselionessss
@the-queen-of-sorrows
@nerrivm
Next Part
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x you#xmen logan#xmen wolverine#hugh jackman#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#logan howlett#reader insert#fanfic#fanfiction
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So High School - part 2
read part 1 ------》 here
pairing: tennis player!reader x Lando Norris
fc: Iga Świątek
summary: Lando keeps pursuing his attempts at scoring a date with THE YN YSN - to the enjoyment of his on-track besties. But nobody has better days on social media than his haters. And sometimes being passive is not an option - you need to silence them.
warnings: internet hate
F1 masterlist taglist
🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎🏎🥎
f1
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo, yourinstagram and 2 001 292 others
f1 Padel, tennis or maybe carting? Which of these sports are the best and worst to try for our drivers - Lando, Max, Fernando and Daniel, and our special guest at the British Grand Prix - YN YSN? Stay tuned and watch what they all were up to right before the Grand Prix start on Sunday!
view all 23 100 comments
ynsmybestie YN YNYNYNYN YSN
ynsmybestie she is finally AT THE RACE
landogirly yn's going to be lando's lucky charm or he's going to be so stressed it's all over
landonorris best challenge ever
⤷ oscarpiastri are you saying that because of what I think orr??
⤷ landonorris shhhh Osco
⤷ oscarpiastri you're very ungrateful to the person that gave you the place in this challenge
⤷ landonorris LOVE YOU OSCAR
danielricciardo how did we lose playing 4 against 1????
⤷ maxverstappen1 Because you couldn't stop talking!
⤷ fernandoalo_official We played against world No. 1. Maybe that's why. Oh, and landonorris couldn't stop tripping over his feet
⤷ landonorris thank you, my racing father. you embarrass me like my own father
fernandoalo_official Great playing and speaking with you, yourinstagram!
⤷ yourinstagram the pleasure was mine!!!! thank you for all the tips during the race 🧡
⤷ fernandoalo_official Any time! I hope you'll enjoy your time during the race and will come say hello!
ynsmymama not yn only responding to nando's comment
⤷ landogirly lando can do everything and he's still ignored
⤷ norizzfan well, let's have hope he can step up his game
comment liked by landonorris and 4022 others
⤷ ynsmyno1 not lando liking norrrizfan comment 💀
landofan77 not Oscar giving up this challenge so Lando could have a chance with yn
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f1gossippage
liked by landogirly, ynsmybestie and 40 292 others
f1gossippage A little story thanks to our followers from UK!
1st picture: Lando meeting some fans right before entering one of the London's restaurants (very chic and date-like outfit).
2nd picture: a fan caught Lando and some woman entering the photo booth together and stayed to take this photo! Looking rather cozy!
3rd picture: IG story from YN YSN deleted mere 2 minutes after posting! The outfit awfully similar to the one wore by Lando 😏
4th picture: Lando during today's stream "I just came back from the dinner, guys. let's chat" "yes, the date was amazing, thank you for asking!" "I've never said I was at the date. what do you mean?" "Oh no."
Could that mean something? New wag alert? Let's keep watching!
view all 1 088 comments
landogirly I mean it checks out but I can't believe that lando could get THE YN YSN... like let's be real
landogirly BYT if it's true... THE BEST COUPLE IN THE PADDOCK
ynsmybestie one time yn posts something not related to tennis and it gets deleted... and it's also A MAN 🤢
ynsmymama let it be true let it be true let it be true
landofan92 no way
landofan99 he did not bag a baddie like yn, no way
formula1fan93 yeah, no. that did not happened
ynysnfan833 ewwwwww get that away from me
ynysnfan911 really? an f1 driver? she could do much better
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mclaren
liked by yourinstagram, landonorris, oscarpiastri and 1 003 292 others
mclaren Our newest addition to the papaya family has arrived!!!! YN YSN (yourinstagram) - WTA No. 1 player has joined Lando and Oscar for their Silverstone fanzone hour! Tune in to our YouTube channel to follow it live!
view all 10 392 comments
landogirly look at lando being all smiley and giggly and blushy 🤭 he has the fattest crush on yn
landosarmyohmy PROTECT THEM AT ALL COST
ynsmybestie not yn saying "well, my favourite driver was and always will be Sebastian Vettel. Fernando is a close second" and then not wanting to say her third favourite!!!!
⤷ landogirly i bet she wanted to say lando (im delusional)
ynsmymama lando saying, "i don't care what people say about me as long as they're not bringing other people down with it. what you want to say about me - say it. and at the same time, you can be respectful about it, can't you?"
landofan99 BEST FANZONE IVE EVER ATTENDED
landoscarfan77 the more I see them interact the more I think there's something going on between them
⤷ ynsmybestie they do have some chemistry going on
⤷ landofan99 wasn't it confirmed that yn went on a date with lando?
⤷ ynsmybestie well... most likely, it was true, but there are no pictures of them together being at the same place
landofan729 LOOK. AT. THEM.
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ynupdates
liked by ynsmybestie, landogirly, danielricciardo and 8 393 others
ynupdates YN congratulating Lando Norris (F1 driver) for his podium finish at the Britidh Grand Prix! photo posted by Lando's father!
view all 638 comments
landogirly AHAHFIRKDNXJIWKSKD
landogirly fuck offfff
landogirly look at himmmm, crinkles by the eyes, hand placement, the JOY IN HIS EYES
ynsmybestie yn once again fulfilling the dreams of her fans
ynsmymama I wasn't on this really but... I SHIP IT
landoscarmyohmy but the video, THE VIDEO, how she just falls into his arms (as if she did that multiple times already), he's little "oh, hi" when she places her head on his chest, her quiet "congratulations, you did so good" and OSCAR in the background grinning like a devil
⤷ ynsmybestie was it also posted by lando's dad????
⤷ landoscarmyohmy yes, it was! he is the captain of this ship!
hater93 another one to put on the list of "seeing an f1 race to just find a driver dumb enough to go out with me"
hater993 why would I care man
hater839 lowlifes found each other
⤷ danielricciardo didn't know you met YN and Lando yourself
⤷ oscarpiastri oh yes, lowlifes of the best tennis player in the World right now and the guy who won an F1 race and is competing for a championship. such lowlifes
ynsmymama Daniel and Oscar backing Lando, THATS FREAKING RIGHT, THESE ARE MY DRIVERS
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landogirly
liked by ynsmybestie, ynsmymama and 7 493 others
landogirly LANDO AND HIS PARENTS ARE AT YN'S MATCH AT WIMBLEDON!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is happening my loves. IT. IS. HAPPENING.
view all 349 comments
ynupdates lucky charm?
ynsmymama please bring mother luck, please bring mother luck, please bring mother luck
landofan75 that man will be everywhere but at the sim room practicing his starts
landoscarmyohmy meeting the parents???????
⤷ ynsmybestie yn met lando's parents at the silverstone race!
landofan588 he looks so gooooooood *drooling*
landofan686 watched it and his dad smirking at lando after every time that lan cheered for yn!!!!!!!! that was everything to me. e v e r y t h i n g
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Twitch: Lando and Max talking and playing COD!
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yourinstagram
liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, oscarpiastri, lewishamilton and 810 292 others
yourinstagram trophies, cars, some love and nature
view all 18 494 comments
ynsmymama A MAN????????
ynsmymama a love letter
ynsmybestie she won wimbledon, she has A MAN, she is happy, she is in love, SHE IS EVERYTHING HE'S JUST KEN
landogirly no fuckin way no fuckin way no fuckin way
landogirly HOW DID IT HAPPEN?????
landogirly also not you trying to soft launch when we all know who that man is
norizzlan lando norris wrotes love letters??????? who is this man
landoscarfan85 WTF
danielricciardo i didn't know you loved OUR picture this much
⤷ yourinstagram how could I not? ;)
oscarpiastri happy to see my stickers being used properly
lewishamilton watching you win more and more titles is truly inspiring! you are the force, YN!
⤷ yourinstagram thank you, seven-time world champion, record-breaking driver and my favourite dog dad!
⤷ lewishamilton waiting for you to break more records! roscoe is waiting for more belly rubs!
fernandoalo_official come to the race when i'm on the podium, princesa!
⤷ yourinstagram i'll blow max's tyres and we're good
⤷ maxverstappen1 hey! i thought we were friends
landonorris keeping cuddles for noir!
⤷ yourinstagram snacks are better to bribe him
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f1gossippage
liked by landofan85 and 20 393 others
f1gossippage Lando Norris seems to be enjoying his free weekend accompanied by his new beau - YN YSN!
view all 1 074 comments
landogirly fucking disgusting to take pics while people are having such a PRIVATE moment
ynsmymama "new beau" google YN and call her accordingly to her accomplishments
ynsmybestie creepy to post these type of pictures
landoscarfan85 not a moment without a camera pointing right at them.... disgusting
landofan854 wine, dine & shine
landofan664 can't get used to lando being all lovey dovey
hater85 waiting for her to flop just like him
hater92 focus on your job
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landonorris
liked by yourinstagram, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 1 001 399 others
landonorris new beau, focusing on my job and looking for a better man
view all 24 430 comments
landogirly HAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHHAH
landogirly that's the biggest "fuck you" to the haters that i've ever seen
ynsmymama oh i love him, your honour
norizzlan someone found his rizz and used it perfectly
landoscarmyohmy using haters favourite words to make your relationship public? ICONIC
ynsmybestie loved the soft launch for the first 8 pictures and then BOOM - the queen's here
danielricciardo no problem for taking those photos, no problem!
⤷ landonorris what photos?
⤷ yourinstagram tickets for the Olympics matches are waiting for you, danny
⤷ danielricciardo you are my best friend
oscarpiastri YOU'RE WELCOME
lewishamilton treat her right
⤷ landonorris 🫡
fernandoalo_official yourinstagram, will i see you more on the track?
⤷ landonorris apparently we don't have time to visit each other at our jobs so....
⤷ yourinstagram i sent you tickets for my next match
carlossainz55 5th picture is your bedroom
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should I add more drama to this or just leave it here?
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taglist: @daniellef89x | @raikiri-sensei | @sleutherclaw | @iambored24601 | @chocolatefuryface | @alexmarie29 | @addriaenne | @ecac53 | @poppyflower-22 | @herdetectivetheorist | @imboredway2much | @hard4ndsoft | @ziraelmtd | @firelily-mimi | @eiffel-hood | @littlegrapejuice | @czennieszn
#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris fic#lando norris social media au#lando norris one shot#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff
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Quandary & Retribution in F#
masterlist
professor!viktor x violinist!reader [6k] [AO3]
mdni
cw: nsfw, blow-job, piano witnessing oral sex i'm so sorry
summary: being neighbours mean being mindful of the noise you make - though, you'd been set on being a nuisance through violin solos, bringing Viktor to your doorstep to plead for silence. You decide to apologise.
tags: modern au, physics professor viktor, gn!reader, neighbours, nsfw, sexual tension, suggestive physics & music talk, blow job, fat set up beforehand, not betad
a/n never written comedy nor smut but at some point a girl's gotta try (why are both almost equally difficult) - but here ya go (plops down this mess). also, i'm more familiar w music than physics, i 3rd page googled the latter so there's def smth not quite right. if u know physics, no u dont.
and ty to an anon ask for pointing out a mistake in the pronouns. i intend one shots to be gn but i write back and forth from an f!oc fic, resulting in she/her ending up in one shots and they/them on the other :')) entirely on me for not catching those before posting though - but thank you for notifying me, i appreciate you!!
btw requests & taglist are open!
Viktor had repeated it ad nauseam—keep the overtures to a minimum.
His days are a gruelling marathon of lectures and lab work, stretching from the crack of dawn at 6 AM to the academy's closing bell at 10 PM. This self-imposed siege isn't mandated by the university—no, they frown upon such academic masochism.
Rather, it’s Viktor's desperate attempt to squeeze productivity from the fleeting moments of silence. The irony? The moment he shuffles home, key turning in the lock, his apartment transforms into an impromptu concert hall.
Attempting to grade papers? Constructing intricate lesson plans on quantum mechanics? Preparing for the department's annual "Explain Your Research to a Five-Year-Old" challenge? Hah. Another pipe dream of this beleaguered professor.
No, instead, he’s treated to a violin solo that would make Paganini nod approvingly in his grave, some overture to madness waiting to ambush Viktor the instant he dares to sit down and tackle his workload. And the cherry on top? The virtuoso had chosen the room directly behind his study as their personal rehearsal space.
Tonight, Viktor's reaching his breaking point.
One more pluck of that violin string, and he might just snap (hopefully with more panache than his freshman physics students' failed bridge-building projects).
He's hunched over his laptop, a harsh '02:24' glowing on his wall—a neon reminder of how little he's accomplished in far too many hours. And there it is again, that infernal violin leaping across frets, notes ping-ponging between octaves with reckless abandon.
This time, it feels personal. A taunt aimed squarely at his last shred of sanity.
Viktor's fingers rake through his dishevelled hair, tugging in sheer frustration. His other hand thunders against the wall—once, twice, thrice. Stop. Stop. Stop.
For a blissful moment, the last note wavers, then fades.
Silence descends. Relief washes over him.
But his reprieve is short-lived. The melody resumes with a vengeance—louder, closer, more petulant and frenetic. It's as if the laws of acoustics themselves have conspired against him.
God, if you’re there…
Viktor can feel his grip on rationality slipping. Perhaps it's time to conduct an experiment on the effects of sleep deprivation on a physicist's patience. For science.
Your paths had crossed in the hallways, a silent slide of avoidance. You’d exchanged fleeting glances, loaded with unspoken frustration, before hurrying on your separate ways.
Viktor had made the pilgrimage to your door three times, his voice dripping with forced politeness as he implored (bordering begging, not his finest moment) you to relocate your impromptu concerts or, at the very least, reschedule your sonic assaults to more reasonable hours.
You’d exchanged names, plastered on smiles that never reached their eyes—and yet, your solos persist.
In moments of weakness, Viktor's traitorous mind can't help but wonder what camaraderie you might have shared in an alternate universe where you weren’t the bane of his existence.
He finds himself muttering a desperate prayer to the gods of acoustics: "Grant me the strength not to bash my head against this wall." He pauses, another side of his brain kicking in. "Although, the resulting concussion might make for an interesting case study."
A groan escapes him as his forehead meets the desk with a dull thump. (Might you want percussions, he could supply his head banging against his desk)
His mind, addled by sleep deprivation and the constant assault, contemplates the unthinkable—actually standing up for himself. God forbid.
He envisions marching to your door, pride in tatters, ready to beg, plead, perhaps even grovel for a moment's peace.
The image of his students receiving paper feedback that reads like the ravings of a madman flashes before his eyes. No. Nope. This cannot stand. Something must be done.
Then another image invades his mind: your door opens and there you are face to face once again.
He grudgingly admits you’re… aesthetically agreeable. He supposes. Mathematically pleasing. Something about proportion, bone structure, genes, something, something, and—no, there is an undeniable artistry in your relentless dedication. Which he respects.
Even through the wall, he can discern the masterful control of your bow, a testament to hours of practice that simultaneously impresses and infuriates him.
If he could be granted such hours to achieve his own goals, he'd surely rule the world (or at least figure out how to soundproof his apartment).
There'd been one night—one treacherous, sleep-deprived night—when his exhausted mind careened off the rails of rationality into dangerously uncharted territory.
He envisioned himself barging into your apartment, a perfect storm of righteous fury and academic gravity. In this fever dream, he demanded silence with an authority cobbled together from an unlikely triumvirate: his stern Professor alter-ego (complete with imaginary tweed jacket), the ego-inflating gravitas of his hard-earned Ph.D., and the bizarrely suave confidence that only exists in the realm of 3 AM delusions.
But in this warped fantasy, instead of blessed quiet, he encountered something far, far worse—a scenario that defied even the uncertainty principle in its improbability.
Sharp gasps cut through the air. Delicate moans rolling against the nape of his neck that it sent shivers down his spine. And then—oh, sweet laws of thermodynamics—his name. His name in repetition, wearing the throes of... No. Stop. Abort mission.
Viktor's eyes snap open. Heavy breaths. His heart rate approaches escape velocity, threatening to launch his ribcage into orbit.
He shakes his head violently as if the motion could dislodge the inappropriate thoughts from his brain.
"Fuck off," he mutters to the empty room, to his unfaithful imagination, to the persistent violin notes that seem to mock his predicament. Fuck it all. And fuck you. Well… No—(he means yes (no)).
A few times since your initial encounter, Viktor had been subjected to a different kind of midnight sound through the walls. These weren't the familiar strains of a violin, but rather... a more primal composition. Something more akin to pleasure than anything Stradivarius could have conceived.
The truth was, these… vocalisations had rearranged his synapses, had opened up an entirely new neural pathway in his brain, one he had staunchly refused to acknowledge before. It was a new theorem of attra—intrigue he wasn't quite ready to solve.
Each breath, groan muffled, was a data point on his imaginary graph. To study the patterns, the crescendos, the duration. The other man in him... well, that was a variable he dared not allow to factor into the equation.
He found himself both dreading and anticipating these unintentional (at least he surmised so) performances. He'd catch himself straining to hear, then immediately feel a rush of guilt and self-loathing.
He reaches for his coffee mug, grimacing as he swallows the cold, bitter dregs. Clearly, this is what happens when a brilliant mind is deprived of its required REM cycles. Yes, that's it. Just the cruel tricks of an overworked, under-rested brain. Exactly.
His mind kicks into overdrive, frantically scribbling a mental grant proposal: "The Effects of Sleep Deprivation on Auditory Hallucinations and Improbable Fantasies: A Case Study." Purely for academic purposes, of course. (his mind lingers on improbable)
It's not like he's terrified these forbidden thoughts might return, more vivid and enticing than a perfectly aligned experiment. And it's certainly not because he's afraid he might enjoy—no, no, no. He minds. He minds with the intensity of a supernova. 100%. No, make that 100.1%, just to be safe. Exactly. Precisely. Quantum-mechanically determined.
Now, if only he could convince his subconscious of that irrefutable fact…
His eyes dart to the wall—that infuriating barrier of plaster and wood—separating him from the object of his des... deliberation. No, that's not right. The source of his frustration. Yes, frustration. A frustration so profound it could light up a small city.
He groans, burying his face in his hands.
The things sleep deprivation does to a man. It's enough to make even a rational physicist question the very fabric of reality.
But admiration be fucking damned—his frustration reigns supreme.
Viktor straightens up, a manic glint in his eye. Perhaps it's time for a little experiment in human behaviour. After all, every action has an equal and opposite reaction, right? Let's see how you’d like a taste of your own medicine—played back at 3 AM through a wall of subwoofers tuned to the resonant frequency of your floorboards.
No, no—Viktor, don't stoop. Just knock on their door.
A grin spreads across your face when a comically polite knock interrupts your crescendo. Ah, the sweet sound of success—or is it the dulcet tones of a professor’s patience snapping?
Oh, he's ever so gentle, even when he's one decibel away from a meltdown. You can practically hear his teeth grinding in perfect harmony with your last note.
You settle your violin and bow on the couch like a general laying down arms after a victorious battle. One palm reaches to massage your jaw, soothing the tender spot where your instrument has been resting. Who knew revenge could leave such visible marks?
Note to self: next time, consider a less physically demanding form of payback. Maybe take up the theremin? Start haunting him.
Though you're getting the creeping suspicion he doesn't know what he did—and it's entirely plausible that you just look like a nocturnal nuisance with perfect pitch and an impressive bruise. But hey, what's a little psychological warfare between neighbours?
Besides, it's fun crossing him in the halls, eyes following each other like two notes slowly coming in accordance, like a particularly flirtatious harmony. You're both knowing, sharing a secret thing. Well, as secret as a loud violin solo at 2 AM.
You reach the front door and turn the lock, swinging it open with a dramatic flair.
Leaning on the frame, you plaster on a grin that could outshine the brightest spotlight—and is sure to make the dear professor's blood pressure skyrocket. "Viktor," you greet, your voice a perfect pizzicato of feigned innocence.
As expected, he's the very picture of academic despair: dark under-eyes that could rival a raccoon's, hair ruffled in a way that screams ‘Sleep? What sleep?' (who knew sleep deprivation could be so becoming?), and a brow so furrowed it could host its own mountain range.
Huh. Interesting. Seems like the composed professor facade has taken an unexpected intermission.
You force yourself to keep your eyes on Viktor's face, resisting the urge to conduct a full-body visual scan. Tonight, you're oppositions. Stubborn ostinato. O-ppo-si-tions.
Oppositions don't ogle each other's physiques or linger on sartorial choices. That would be absurd, a complete discord in your carefully orchestrated revenge. Which is why you don’t see that he’s wearing a thin tank top, and why your eyes don’t hopscotch across the vague outlines of his chest.
Viktor grumbles your name with a frown, his accent turning the syllables into something between a growl and a plea. It's music to your ears, really—a different kind of melody, but no less satisfying than your midnight sonatas.
You wonder what else he could do with that voice. No—you don’t wonder. O-ppo-si-tions don’t wonder.
Rather, you flatten your lips, desperately trying to hold back a laugh that threatens to escape.
"Please," he breathes, the word carrying the weight of a thousand sleepless nights.
You cock a brow. "Please?"
He glares, his eyes boring into you with the intensity of a conductor silencing a wayward orchestra. Not finding me funny, you note mentally.
Well, tough crowd. But then again, you didn't take up the violin for the standing ovations, did you?
"How can I help you, Professor?" You smile sweetly, crossing your legs. "You're looking positively... nocturnal," Your eyes dance over his dishevelled appearance, drinking in every delicious detail.
You know that he knows that you know what you're doing. It's a duet of mutual awareness—simple, really—and satisfying.
He squeezes his amber eyes shut, his mouth a taut line of frustration. You half expect his hair to stand on end. Orchestra on their heels after a baton’s click-click-click.
That little mole above his mouth twitches, and you imagine it as a staccato note. There's a twin on his right cheek. You wonder, idly, if they'd dance a jig if you played just the right jaunty tune.
"Why," he begins, his voice a crescendo of exhaustion, "Are you doing this? I can't keep my head in tune with you behind that wall, turning my brain into jelly with your... your..." he gestures wildly at your apartment, as if trying to conduct your imaginary orchestra into silence.
"Oh? And what's wrong with exploring some alternative fingerings now and then?"
His eyes lock onto yours, widening slightly. He blinks, frozen—a maestro who's just realised he's forgotten his baton.
Ah. Are there actual discordant thoughts lurking in that brilliant mind of his?
What's a little push? You lean forward. "Care to demonstrate these unconventional techniques of yours?"
A gulp rides down Viktor's throat. A nervous glissando. A viola quivering. His eyes suddenly find your front door fascinating. "Look, I just want to be able to do my work, finish what needs to be finished, and get some actual sleep. Aren't you tired of this too?"
Your mouth pitches downwards in mock contemplation. "Mm... I get plenty of sleep in the day. Unemployment generally gives you a lot of time. Besides, payback is payback. This is simply the retribu—"
"Payback?" His face contorts into a mask of confusion that would make Picasso proud. Ah. So the maestro doesn't know his own composition. Tsk.
You straighten yourself, arms still crossed sternly. "You—" you sigh, brows pulling together.
"What," he huffs, clearly lost. His mouth slightly gapes open, eyes glancing to the side as if somehow the answer will appear.
lLast month. Seven PM. You're home with what I assume were your students," you gesture at his door. "Don't know what you were doing, none of my business. However, it does become my business when they stay over until four," you hold up four fingers at his face like a metronome gone mad, and he backs away. “In. The. Morning. You try sleeping with rowdy, hormonal young-adults screeching about the universe and quantum-this, quantum-that,"
He brings his hand up and rubs at his neck, looking everywhere but you.
"And I, not having slept in god knows how long at that point, had an audition for an orchestra later that morning," at this point his expression is completely soured, realising where this is leading. "And guess who bombed that and missed a potential orchestral debut?" you point at yourself with both thumbs, "First chair of the Insomniacs Anonymous Symphony,"
He brings his thumb and pointer to the bridge of his nose, worrying at his bottom lip.
You can recall a few times you’d burrowed your teeth in such a manner. Recitals. A particularly tricky passage in a Paganini caprice. On your couch with hand at the crux of your thighs rubbing gently to some fantasy. Nothing specific.
You stare for a moment, mentally composing a scream for the cosmos. How dare he look like a dishevelled maestro when you're trying to channel your inner fury? Not the time, brain. Not. The. Time. File that image away for later...
“I..." he begins, but the words seem to have gone on strike, leaving his mouth hanging open. Forgotten fermata.
A furrow grows on your brow, deep enough to nest a whole string section. His guilt-ridden silence gives you ample time to become distracted. Truly not the fucking time. But your eyes—oh, what rebellious instruments.
But fret not (hah), as you don’t discern much of his arms—not lean, nor precise. Not those fingers either, no. They’re not that long. You didn’t even notice. And not the slow rise and fall of his chest, rhythmic as a metronome in a world where time has suddenly become very, very interesting.
He says your name—it’s a baton raising in the air—and it wrangles your attention. “I truly... I apologise. I do admit... that night was foolish. I'd lost control of my class. I'd invited a few over since they wanted a discussion on quantum entanglement,"
Yeah, I know entanglements. What.
Your brain performs an emergency shutdown and reboot. “Uh-huh," you manage, trying to sound like you absolutely know what that means and aren't at all imagining him demonstrating the finer points of entanglement. Because you aren’t. O-ppo-si-tions.
You shake your head, imagining your thoughts like shaking a tambourine. Focus. Revenge. Missed opportunity. Right. But why does righteous indignation have to be so hard when he's standing there looking like Einstein's hotter, sleep-deprived cousin?
“And the discussion just… I wasn’t careful with the time,” he leans forward, mouth downwards in apology. His fingers tap on his cane, mouth sucking on one side of his bottom lip.
He looks miserable. And worse, genuine. Two things that never sit right with you when they happen at the same time. A string just slightly off tune that it settles as unease in your stomach. It gives you the itch to fine-tune it, put it back how it should be.
You give Viktor a resolute nod, blinking away. “I accept your apology,” you say shortly, gaze lounging on the hallway and making sure they don’t linger on his misery.
But he searches for you eyes first, and by obligation you look back. “And have you, has there been any opportunities after then?” he asks, leaning forward, brows tilted in genuine, apologetic curiosity (your heart decides it’s now a great time to perform an accelerando. 95 bpm, if you’re counting). “Auditions and… orchestral… things? Sorry, I’m not too knowledgeable on these,”
What’s good: he’s genuinely apologetic, which may herald the end of your musical tyranny.
You lean your head backwards, aware of the distance (What’s not good: he seems unaware of the distance he’d taken up). “Uh, no. Well,” you shrug, shoulders bobbing in reminder. “Not since then. But there’s one next week. Piltover Grande Hall,”
His brows raise, seemingly in recognition. “Oh? Highly-esteemed,”
“I know. I’ll probably need a good sleep before then,” you grin, watching his face go from confusion, to apologetic, to relief in mere seconds.
“I also… I assigned some heavy research work last week to my class, which’ll be submitted tomorrow, so I’ll be grading those next week,” he added, now fully leaning on your door frame as if his upper body were trying to slink inside slowly. “We’ll both need much rest before then,”
Your eyes meet his. Face fully facing face. “Mhm,”
Prelude: “An observation of observation of observation”. String section, sweet, curious, and swelling with playful remarks. Interrupted by staccato heartbeats, conflicted by seductive cello whines.
You don’t move. Not an increment. You stay as still as your body allows, suspended in time. So does he. His eyes flicker between your left and right, expressing nothing but obvious observation of you. Your stomach breeds a butterfly when you catch his gaze dropping briefly to your mouth before flicking back to your eyes.
Interesting.
100 bpm.
No. I, “Where The Gaze Lands Will Determine The Night’s Fate”. A languid 4/4. A lone marimba begins—blithe. The chirp of a güiro.
“And what do you propose?” you tilt your head up. Are you challenging him? Depends, you suppose. Depends if he tilts his face down.
But he stays in position. Instead, brings a hand out, palm open. “A truce,” his breath brushes against your chin. Hot. Temperaturally. Temperamentally.
Does he know what he’s doing to you? There are desperate sax whines in your head. Supposedly they sound similar to the human voice.
You take his hand and shake firmly. But you don’t let go. “What are the terms?”
A soft huff of a laugh escapes him, eyes slightly narrowing. “But you’ve already agreed,” his fingers tighten slightly around your hand. Warm. Long.
“Confident in the final piece,” you assert, letting your eyes drape with leisure between his eyes and to the bone of his cheek, the mole, the mouth. And you hope he notices.
The sax is breathy. It’s now a smoky jazz riff, painting dimly lit rooms, whisperings of sweet-nothings, a daring foot hiking up another’s thigh.
Your travelling eyes seem to catch his breath.
No. II: “Where Silence Is Relative”. Strutting 2/4, beginning with a sultry glide of an accordion. A conversation between the cellos and violins.
“Does that mean you’ll rest your little concertos?” his head tilts. “Giving me peace, finally?”
You play up a pout. “Shame, I thought you were a fan,”
“As I am of quantum tunnelling through a brick wall,” he responds, the brief questioning curve of his brow indicating this was not a good thing.
“Surely my playing isn’t that bad?” a smirk.
“Not the quality, no,” he gives a small shake. His thumb softly brushes your hand. “It’s the quantity. And the timing,”
You soften your fingers, letting the tips of them brush at his wrist. “I was trying to be helpful. Heard scientists appreciated background music while working,”
A glint of something playful in his eyes. “We do. Just not at 3AM when we’re trying to grade important papers,”
“Grading?” you quirk your brow and smile. At this point, it’s far from grating to him—he’s even looking at it. “I thought silence was overrated in the pursuit of knowledge,”
“Silence is relative when you’re next door,” he gives back. His hand is now shameless, inching your closer and closer to your wrist.
You wet your lips and hum. “Relative, right. Like, whose is that—like Einstein’s?”
“Like the relative pitch of a jackhammer compared to your violin,” his expression flattens sardonically, still maintaining that disarming smile.
“I’m touched,” you lean your head on the door frame. “You think I’m as powerful?”
“Enough to redefine my understanding of ‘noise cancellation’,” he retorts, eyes rolling. What a pretty expression that is. You wonder how else you can evoke that same reaction in other contexts.
“If you ever want a demonstration…”
He laughs. “I think I’ll stick to my textbooks. Much quieter,”
You feign a mask of disappointment, gaze sharpening and hooking his eyes in for your next few words. “Pity. I was hoping to show you how good I am with my fingers,”
His mouth parts. Surprise? Temptation? But he’s hooked in and it’s all you care for. “I… uh,” he blinks, hand still around your wrist. “That’s…”
His face fills with a slight impassive contemplation, thoughts seeming to run amuck in his head as he looks down at your growing, teasing smile.
“You’ve been hearing me practise, no?” you smirk. And you can tell he knows that you know that he knows what you mean. “The violin’s not an easy instrument. Unless you’re thinking of something e—”
He diminishes the space between you with his lips on yours.
No. III, “A Swing in A#”. 113 bpm. A confident, gritty trumpet reels you in.
The door shuts and is immediately faced by Viktor’s back. His neck bends to accommodate the difference in height, his free hand at the back of your neck to press you closer to himself. Your hands find purchase around his shirt, curling around the fabric, pulling and pulling—but as he’s leaning, only his hips jut forward. Good enough.
Your mouths move in tandem. He’s occupied with your bottom lip in a sort of desperation that speaks of practise—or at least imagined practise.
You nudge upwards, hip bone meeting his in soft collision, which coaxes a filthy, back-of-the-throat grunt from him. You smile. And as you feel his other hand snake around your waist, you hear the metallic thnk of his cane against the floor.
You jerk away to look down at it. Briefly, you assess its importance and his dependence on it. “Your leg,” you breathe, breath barely allowing your real voice to pierce through.
He’s nuzzling at the side of your face, gaping mouth at your cheek as he catches some air. “I’ll manage,”
When you turn to him, your heart jumps at the sight of him. Dishevelment caused by your hands, a slight flush from arousal, eyes rounded and trained on your mouth. You don’t look but can’t help noticing the hardness pressed against your lower belly.
“It doesn’t hurt?” you ask.
He shakes his head and finally draws his eyes back to yours. “A… discomfort. But not pain,” he dips in for a kiss, hand sliding up to tilt your jaw towards him.
A smirk becomes of you. “Mm… about the, uh… retribution. I do admit, I took it too far,”
His eyes widen in mock surprise. “Did you? All those unproductive nights, I truly didn’t notice,”
You roll your eyes at his quip. “But I was thinking of how to properly apologise,”
He quirks a brow, thumb tracing at the border of your lip and chin. “And how will you show your remorse?”
“Ah, well, I’m just like you,” a soft laugh escapes you, and you lean towards him to hide the slight embarrassment rushing to blush your cheeks. “Thinking all about… entanglements,”
“Do, please, demonstrate your version,” his accent noticeably makes ‘demonstrate’ even sharper and more pronounced.
“Only if you talk about yours,”
With a swift kiss, you silence him, lips capturing his words. Your hands grip his body, gently guiding him away from the door. Viktor's eyes, intense and unwavering, remain locked on you as you lead him a few feet to the side to the upright piano.
In one smooth motion, your foot hooks around the piano bench, sliding it out. Your hands, warm and certain, travel up to Viktor's shoulders, guiding him down onto the seat with a gentle and firm pressure. His gaze never falters.
For a breathless moment, you tower over him, drinking in the sight of him. He's even more deliciously undone—hair tousled, shirt askew, lips slightly parted.
The room seems to shrink, the world narrowing to just the two of you. You're minutely aware of every shallow breath, every subtle shift of his body, each time the muscles in his neck form a 'v'.
Something all-consuming takes root in your core, to hear his voice wearing your name—not just spoken, but gasped, moaned, worshipped.
“So?” you prompt. “Begin,”
No. IV, “Viktor’s Recitative”. An accented voice searching for focus. Punctuated by gasps.
“It’s, ehm, quantum entanglement. Imagine two dancers, perfectly in sync no matter how far apart they are. When particles become entangled, they share a quantum state. If you measu—”
With your leg you push his knees apart.
“Uh, if you measure one, you instantly know about the other. As if… as if connected by an invisible thread of… mm, cosmic intimacy,”
You kneel slowly, gaze locked onto his as he searches for his next words. “Rather romantic,” you add.
He swallows. And you take it as a suggestion.
“I think so, too. Two particles, forever intertwined,” his eyes fall to your hand as you palmed one knee, your head resting on his other leg. “Fates… linked across the, the vast…ness of space and t—time,” he jerks forward as your hand pressed a little too near his centre.
The sound makes your breath hitch. More. Your cheek’s brushing against the cotton of his pants, your other hand cradling around his calf. The hand on his knee roams further upwards, thumb applying more pressure on the ins of his thigh.
“Regardless of distance, still they influence each other in ways we can’t f—” he breaks off with a whine as your palm grazes the growing swell beneath his pants. It takes every ounce of self-control not to grasp him fully, to feel the entirety of him at once. “Fully…” his eyes follow where you press harder, your mouth curving into a smile. “Comprehend,” the word falls with more breath.
He leans back against the piano, elbows weighing down keys and sending a jarring, discordant chord alongside his sighs.
You straighten, bringing your other hand to the knot of his waistband. Your finger hooks onto it, thumb caressing the single button. Your gaze travels upward, admiring the sight of him leaning back, his shirt riding up to reveal a tantalising glimpse of hair trailing downward.
His breathing slows, becoming deep and measured as your finger grazes the skin of his stomach, the fine hairs tickling knuckles. For a moment, you imagine yourself above him, watching him squirm as his eyes fixate on the point where your bodies would join. Another day.
With a deft movement, you pop the button free. Leaning in, you catch your lower lip between your teeth as your hands gently guide him from the confines of his boxers.
His form arches slightly to one side, living sculpture of desire. Delicate ridges trace his length, and at the apex, his glans gleams like a ripe cherry. Tempting fruit begging to be tasted.
Deep, methodical breaths, you remind yourself. Deep and methodical. And oh so deep. You wrench your thoughts from this enticing path, lifting gaze to meet his. Your eyes seek permission, finding his half-lidded stare heavy with want.
Your palm, warm and inviting, glides along his length with exquisite slowness. The motion elicits a shudder that ripples through his hips, a breath catching in his throat like a trapped butterfly. His head falls back, unveiling the elegant lines of his neck.
Emboldened, you repeat the caress, this time allowing your grip to ascend until it reaches the pinnacle. There, with deliberate tenderness, you gather the pre-cum with a slight swipe. The touch brings a cluster of stuttered gasps and half-formed words. His body, as if magnetised, curls towards you, hands grasping the edges of the bench, white-knuckled, anchoring himself.
Your name escapes his lips in a plaintive groan, lust renewing his voice with a gravelly quality.
Responding to his unspoken plea, you stretch upward, capturing his mouth with yours. A reward. A prelude. Your lips, soft yet insistent, trail a path down to his chin, then along the sharp line of his jaw. He tilts his head back, an offering, granting you unimpeded access to the column of his neck. You accept the invitation eagerly, pressing a kiss to his bobbing Adam's apple, and leaving a trail of lilac.
Your hand torments him with a slow ride down, grip tightening incrementally with each kiss. But there's a yearning for more, craving something more substantial. Not that this isn't intoxicating—the pulsing in your core is evidence enough.
The moment a more desperate whine unfurls from his lips, a ribbon of pure need, drawing you in. It's the tipping point. As if thanking him for the sinful sound, your lips abandon the canvas of his neck, attention now wholly focused on his full, flushed hardness.
You level with the sight of his arousal, standing eager, tip glistening. Your breath ghosts over his sensitive skin, eliciting a shudder that courses through his entire body. You hear the complaint of squeezed leather beneath his grip.
“Show me how you like it,” you breathe, letting the little puffs of air tickle at his reddened shaft.
Seemingly overwhelmed, he remains answerless, eyes resting on your blushed mouth. “You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, as if reciting an undeniable truth, akin to the blue of the sky or the firmness of his length. His thumb traces the contours of your mouth with gossamer lightness. “Indulge as you please,”
At that, you smile, gently guiding his hand away and pressing a kiss tender on his knuckles. And with a final, heated glance up at his face—flushed with want, eyes dark with need—you lower your head, lips parting.
With a delicate grace, you envelop him, your lips forming a perfect crescent around his crown. Slowly, deliberately, you welcome him into the warmth of your mouth, one hand gliding to his base with tender precision. The other, seeking purchase, finds his chest, gently urging him backward to grant you greater freedom of movement.
He yields without resistance, acquiescence punctuated by a cascade of desperate, breathy whimpers as he reclines against the piano. The instrument protests beneath his bones, dissonant notes plunking out objections at the sin unfolding before it.
You savour him—heady salt and warmth. His velvet glides across your palette, your lips tightening in counterpoint. Your tongue laps and flattens against him in a rhythm that plucks a brief grunt from him. Curiosity compelling you, you lift your gaze to meet his. In that fleeting moment, his eyebrows arch—whether at the feeling or the sight, you prefer the idea of the latter—a wordless expression of awe at the vision before him.
This silent exchange ignites a fervour in you. You increase your tempo, sound of saliva blending seamlessly with his escalating pants. His voice, once controlled, now tumbles in a torrent of incoherent, keening pleas. His fingers now tangle gently in your hair, curling and uncurling in unconscious rhythm. When you dare to take him deeper, his grip tightens ever so slightly.
A deep groan reverberates from the depths of your throat, setting off a cascade of reactions that ripple through both your bodies. The raw sound triggers an involuntary response in him; his hips stutter and twitch forward with barely restrained urgency, cock brushing dangerously far back in your throat.
This sudden intrusion causes your body to react instinctively. Your grip on him tightens, fingers digging into the soft flesh of his thighs, pliant tongue pressing fully against him, cheeks hollowing with increased suction.
The sensation brings tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill over. Yet, you hold them back, your focus entirely consumed by the incoherent, mangled words tumbling from Viktor's lips. His loss of composure only serves to fuel you, ushering more strangled moans from you.
With a deliberate leisure, you pull him out of your mouth, slight, wet ‘pop' punctuating the action. A grin plays across your lips as you lick them slowly, savouring his taste and the way his eyes track the movement of your tongue.
Leaning back in with renewed purpose, you flatten your tongue against the sensitive underside of his length. You drag it upwards, feeling every ridge and vein. As you reach the tip, you linger at the frenulum, that exquisitely sensitive spot just beneath the head. Your tongue dances there, teasing and tantalising, while your hand presses firmly against his abdomen, pushing him back slightly, maintaining control.
This calculated move elicits a pleased hum from him, a sound that vibrates through his body and into yours. Encouraged by his response, you repeat the movement, each pass of your tongue a perfect mirror of the last, building a rhythm that teeters on the edge between pleasure and sweet torment.
You revel—the choked desperation emanating from the back of his throat, the frantic rise and fall of his chest—tempestuous sea. His jaw, slack, burns into your imagination, conjuring tantalising visions of how it might feel nestled between your trembling thighs. Pure masterpiece before you.
A thought dances through your mind: how differently might he approach his little entanglements if it were you sprawled across his desk instead of the mundane paperwork? The notion trails a delicious shiver down you.
The tip of your tongue traces feather-light around his sensitive crown. Slowly, teasingly, you envelop his tip between your lips. Tongue, emboldened, finds its way back to the frenulum and lingers there. Your hands continue to glide in smooth, quickened motions, descending and rising fluidly. His breaths grow increasingly laboured as you continue, his hips jutting and twitching. You apply gentle pressure, guiding him downward.
With a filthy cry that escapes him, you feel the hot release at the roof of your mouth. Encouraging him further, you draw him deeper, welcoming the spill into your throat with a rough hum. His voice breaks as he calls out your name between ragged gasps. It sounds almost like prayer.
Further sinful whines fall out of him as you continue to swallow and lap him from inside.
As you feel his tension finally easing, you slowly withdraw, your tongue tracing the pearlescent spill. His sharp, staccato breaths punctuate the silence, and he brings his hand to your chin, lifting your attention to him.
You smile, swallowing, though proving futile, his release unrelentingly coating the back of your throat.
“Will I get to demonstrate?” he breathes, voice hoarse.
He smirks. The fucker.
You shake your head. “Not tonight. Tonight’s my repentance,”
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💞🎀TRYING DOESN'T EXIST 💞🎀
There is no try , you either do something or you don't. You either believe that you already have your desires or you keep believing an illusion ( 3d ) . When you are living in the end , you don't need to " try " to manifest your desires. Stop "hoping" that you manifest your desires. Be certain that you will manifest your desire since you are a master manifestor. Stop " trying " to manifest your desires. YOU ALREADY HAVE THEM.
I just want to mention the story by Neville Goddard . This story was also mentioned in Solar's guide ( Creator's code ). Whenever you feel discouraged by the 3D , feel free to come on this post and read this story.
Neville wanted to go home to Barbados, but he didn’t have enough money to do so.“Live as though you are there,” Abdullah told him, “and that you shall be.”He then said to me, "As you walk through this door now you are not walking on 72nd Street, you are walking on palm lined streets, coconut lined streets; this is Barbados. Do not ask me how you are going to go. You are in Barbados. You do not say 'how' when you 'are there'. You are there. Now you walk as though you were there."Basically, Abdullah told Neville to mentally live as if he was in Barbados, Neville was physically in NYC but in his mind he kept living and thinking he was already in Barbados. Neville was getting impatient as he lived in the end for weeks, but still didn’t see results. Whenever he spoke to Abdullah about it, he’d give Neville the same advice again and again."On the 3rd of December I stood before Abdullah and told him again I was no nearer my trip. He repeated his statement, "You are in Barbados."On the 4th of December, Neville finally manifested going to Barbados and cash to help him get there. He did this by only acknowledging that he was in Barbados, and not paying attention to him being in NYC.He operated mentally as someone who already has his desire fulfilled. This is called living in the end.
I want to ask you , why are trying to go to Barbados when you are already in Barbados ? Trying implies lack. Whenever you are affirming , listening to a subliminal etc you aren't " trying " to manifest your desire since you already have it. Affirmations, listening to subliminals etc are your reminders that you already have your desire. You just need to accept that you already have your desires .Like Neville said , " You are already that which you want to be, and your refusal to believe it is the only reason you do not see it."
Here is a excerpt would like to include in this post , this excerpt is from the book " Think & Grow rich " by Napoleon Hill.
" When you attempt to plant an idea , if the subconscious already harbors a negative, trying to force the new idea has the reverse effect because the subconscious becomes obsessed with defending it's established negative idea. And the harder you " try " to do something , the more the subconscious resists and the more difficult it becomes .
Even the use of word try is warned against because it gives suggestion to the subconscious of a preconceived failure. The concept of "trying" implies an ongoing effort. You don't want to try. You want to succeed. If you ask your subconscious to help you " try " , it may do just that. It may help you try , but it will prevent you from succeeding- because if you did succeed , then it could no longer help you " try " , which is what you asked it to do. "
In conclusion , stop " trying " to manifest. Trying will get you nowhere. You already have your desires. All you need to do is remind yourself and accept that YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR DESIRES.
#affirmations#self concept#law of assumption#neville goddard#loa#master manifestor#it girl#self concept affirmations#affirm and persist#assume and persist#manifesting tips#how to manifest#manifestations#loa tumblr#dream life#law of abundance#law of manifestation#subconcius mind#subliminals#affirm#imagination#living in the end#manifesting your dreams#it girl mentality#mental diet#edward art#sammy ingram#states of consciousness#vaunting#living in the knowing
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Everything Johan did was For Anna/Nina
Everything Johan did was for Anna.
A “Monster” capable of love.
“What I’m most afraid of is…forgetting Anna. The strange lessons we have everyday… are making my memories fade. Please, don’t make me forget Anna. It’s only Anna and me in this whole world. Just give me that - please. Please.” – Johan Liebert”
I was very confused about the complexities of Johan's character up until the last handful of episodes. After rewatching the series for a 3rd time and exploring how Johan is portrayed in the manga, it became very clear to me that my initial opinions about Johan were basic and devalued the intricacies of Naoki's writing. From the beginning we are only TOLD by conflicting views, who Johan was. His character, in the fictional world as well as our own, is simply defined by an individual's perception of him and the story presented. However, if we dissect ALL of the themes and even the undertones Naoki presented to us through the world of characters; I think it would be evident that Johan was not committing heinous acts for superficial reasons such as simply being evil to be evil.
So what was the method to his madness?
I believe... Everything he did was for Anna.
(Yes this includes erasing himself from existence too )
Author's Note: I want to preface before you read on that although these essays are written in a sympathizing light that Johan has done PLENTY of wrong. This is not written in an attempt to dismiss his heinous acts lightly, but to simply understand the "Monster" of the series by tackling Johan's crimes deeper than the surface. I tried to make sense of Johan's every action in regards to his OVERALL PLAN and why Naoki presented them to us as viewers. For those who will nitpick the term "everything" quite literally, I want to make it clear that not E V E R Y S I N G L E A C T I O N Johan has taken coincides with his love for his sister; his actions towards the children specifically - because there are some things that had nothing to do with his "perfect plan" but more to do with attempting to build Johan's character and his view of the world us as viewers. Justifying ones actions vs. rationalizing ones actions are completely different. I am in no way attempting to discard the accountabilities that Johan should face for his actions, but instead trying to make sense of it all. I've analyzed Johan's crimes against children here: https://xprincessgarnetxvi.tumblr.com/post/691678531250487296/i-really-love-reading-your-essays-i-can However, this will explain the root of Johan's character and the core of his overall plan(s) that was committed for the sake of his sister from the very beginning to the end. The overarching theme and message of Monster is that there are no such thing as Monsters, only broken human beings capable of great evil; so we will humanize this great Monster in order to understand not only Johan Liebert, but the hows/whys Tenma/Nina was able to forgive him and ultimately find value in saving the life of this supposed Monster.
Before we begin, I'd like to take the time to thank you for reading! I can't wait to review your comments and further discuss this magnificent series of Monster!
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Anna was set up from the beginning to become The “Monster” given she was the one who actually endured the experiments. Her tendencies are shown in glimmers throughout the show. The heartbreaking twist to it though... is that the only reason why she DID not become the beast, was because SHE ( unlike Johan ) HAD KNOWN REAL UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
-Johan’s love and sacrifice is what kept her safe from the darkness he knew very well. He got his hands dirty to shield her. He chose to leave her behind in the care of her foster parents, knowing she would forget him, in order to heal.
He chose her than himself over and over; becoming her shadow; choosing to lose his only attachment to his already weakened identity in order for her to heal.
His love for her is why she never became a monster...and tragically, why Johan had.
Which reflects exactly what Mikhail Petrov (whose real name is Reinhart Biermann) said about his "PROFOUND DISCOVERY" concerning his current experiment on the children he had in his home; he said the children did not become animals because he gave them LOVE.
(Mikhail Petrov telling Grimmer how the children in his current experiment did not become Monster - it was because they had LOVE.)
In his own twisted way and view on things, he was protecting her. He killed every "parental" figure they had because he was betrayed by every adult figure in his life so far. People who mentioned calling the police, ended up finding out about their past - anything that could lead the man, who Johan referred to as “The Monster” into finding them, he disposed of.
The adults in their lives thus far would betray them, torture them, hurt them, throw them away- and forcefully separate them. In his severely abused mental state, any adult figure was a potential threat to his and Anna’s safety. So he’d kill in order to runaway from "the monster" and protect Anna. Then when Anna found out about the blood on his hands that fateful night the Monster paid them a visit, he realized that now he had become someone Anna feared - a different kind of Monster but all the similar to the one they were running from.
So he rationalized that now he needed to die.
In that moment, I think we should focus on his body language and expressions. Johan faced the ground. hardly picking up his eyes. His shoulders were sunken and he did not have that menacing little smile he usually had. Johan has killed in secret various times with Anna and back at Kinderheim.
So why was he so messy with the Lieberts?
Because he did not want to kill them - he said HE HAD TO.
It was not a calculated murder, because he was not truly calm and collected; He was afraid.
Lets not forget who Johan was up until that moment: the infamous little boy who provoked an entire riot and massacre by simply opening his mouth. With mere words he was able to sway the adults and children into doing what he wanted. BUT IN THAT MOMENT when Anna caught him red handed, he could not, or rather, would not - try and manipulate Anna.
(He has never once been shown trying to manipulate or abuse her throughout the entire series as he has done intentionally with the rest of the world.)
Instead, he asked her to shoot him and run - in an attempt to finally liberate her from the horrific life they had to lead up until now - blaming his existence for the constant chase their predator (Bonaparte) gave way to them as prey because in that moment, his memories were distorted and he believed he was the one who went to the Red Rose Mansion. **** (X) (this theory is challenged referenced below)
To Johan, him living was a danger to Anna and that night made it evident to him.
But when he was brought back to life and realized the gravity behind his methods, seeing how terrified Anna was of him - he started to cry. Because despite his initial feelings of finding his death absolutely necessary for her to be safe, he still wanted what he had with her; the only bond of love he ever knew.
What set his entire ADULT plan into motion (wiping out everyone who ever hurt Anna and created HIM) was Anna's rejection at the hospital. That was when he realized internally, he was beyond forgiveness and that he was nothing more than a monster. A Nameless monster in her reflection that needed to die in order for her to live in peace. (Referencing the God of Peace storybook. )
Johan was the one who gifted the God (Anna) her hat and then she saw herself as the Monster she was supposed to be due to the Red Rose Mansion experiments. This would NOT have happened if Johan did not give her the hat (the red hat which can symbolize the blood he spilled for her. ) so in this instance, Johan is also the reflection (you are me and I am you. They are both nameless monsters)
From that moment on, he wanted to wipe out his entire existence, and that meant those who ALSO "created" him so that Anna could heal as Nina.
I believe this is what is depicted in the Nameless Monster storybook.
Initially, we are made to believe Johan wanted to “consume everyone” so he would be the last one standing. The Monster known as Johan in the book also devours his counterpart, the Monster who went West and then there is no one left to call him by his name. But clearly, Johan never does this, because Johan never attempts to kill/devour Anna/Nina - because what it symbolizes is entirely different in nature regarding Johan’s intention.
A quick reminder that both Johan and Anna were considered Nameless Monsters. HOWEVER - by Johan’s hands, Anna does not remain “Nameless” nor does she ever become a “monster” the moment Johan decided to not only leave her behind in the hands of a loving family, but by her changing her name and her identity to Nina. The Fortners never made any implication that they knew of Nina’s past concerning the Lieberts murder and I believe this is because Johan introduced her as Nina to the Fortners and never allowed them to see the trail behind her identity as Anna Liebert.
Symbolically, Johan, as the Nameless Monster, consumed the Monster inside of Anna and became the only Monster left. This is what is mirrored in Johan’s intentions and the Nameless Monster storybook.
With Anna forgetting him and Johan leaving her behind thus losing his only connection to someone who truly knew him, now all that is left is Johan, without absolutely anyone to call him by his name - the one and only Nameless Monster.
And this is heavily referenced in Another Monster:
(This reinforces that Johan was trying to make Nina forget her past as Anna)
There wasn’t some sick satisfaction from any of his killings done when he was a child. To him, it was needed for the sake of her safety. This was Johan’s initial “plan.” set in motion. He wanted to be the only one left in the world with his sister - so that they wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore.
(I also believe at that point when they were kids, Johan's very first plan he referred to when telling Anna "Remember, I have a plan." was to run to another country with her so that the Monster will never find them. It is the only logical idea of a plan that a child could conjure following what he actually leads them to do, which was cross the border. Simply destroying the world is unreachable in his current state and Johan is smart enough to not be delusional in his endeavors. With that being said, he had to kill that old couple to erase any trail they may have left of "two beautiful blonde twins." But this plan fails because they nearly die at the Czech Border and was discovered. )
(Johan telling Anna he has a plan.)
RUHENHEIM:
One of the biggest moments in Ruhenheim has been misinterpreted and lost due to the mistranslations in both the English Dub and the Japanese subtitles.
I clarify and mend this by breaking down what Nina unraveled in Boneparte’s house when she looked at the portraits by correctly translating the Japanese script/text in depth here on this post:
But to summarize it for the purpose of this essay, it was revealed to us as viewers that Johan apologized to Anna when she returned from the Red Rose Mansion, revealing the overwhelming weight of guilt he carried when Anna had been taken that day.
(That day depicts the moment their mother made the terrible 'Choice')
and then Johan accepts his mother will never return to them (assuming she abandoned them) and goes on to tell Anna this:
Johan is the one crying because soon after, Nina tells us that Johan was in that room crying.
This information provides clarity as to why Nina was finally able to understand Johan, empathize with him enough to be able to forgive him. She remembered he was a boy who felt guilty over what happened to her; a boy who cried when he realized they were now all alone in the world. She understood that Johan desperately did anything and everything to ensure he and Anna survived despite it all.
That Rainy Night:
I want to GREATLY EMPHASIZE the important factor I missed my first time watching the scenes with Johan/Anna - the scenes shown to us were ONLY through her recollection as fragments due to her memory loss. They were told from what she COULD remember, so her take on what really happened that rainy night the first few times the events are unfolded before us should not be taken as absolute. At least...up until it is revealed in the final episodes that Anna realized that on that night instead of seeming like an empty shell of a person asking for death, Johan was crying and crying before she shot him.
The scene where Anna finds the portraits reveals what truly happened between them and its so important. She said “Johan was crying “here” just like before.” She was mimicking a memory she had just recalled in its entirety. “Why are you crying, why are you crying?” She sounded in distress. Directly after she reveals that she remembers him crying, it shows the image of him pointing at his head that rainy night.
Even though Johan told her to shoot him, it is IMPORTANT that he was crying and the author highlights this for a reason.
I believe that, finally being able to vividly remember that day finally revealed to her that Johan wasn’t the “face of absolute evil” she initially dismissed him to be; he was a boy/man who could cry and mourn - he was human. He was a terrified boy protecting Anna and himself the only way he knew how. and instead of showing him forgiveness/love - she added on to his collection of wounds scarred upon his soul from everyone else who chose to harm him.
Tenma...was ultimately the ONLY one in his life who showed him kindness.
Johan's intentions and reasons behind many crimes: Essay II.
( I will summarize it here as the extension essay was far too long to put on this post)
**** (☓) I want to ask, did Johan truly believe he was the one who went to the Red Rose Mansion or was that simply a masquerade he performed to make sure Anna did not remember?
(I wrote an essay on this being a possibility here: PART 2 OF THIS ESSAY. This will explain Johan's intentions in depth)
(this is a theory I FIRMLY believe and have completely adopted. But for the sake of argument, I will entertain both concepts behind Johan's memory in this essay.)
If we entertain the idea that Johan never misconstrued his memories about the Red Rose and pretended he did, I can dissect Johan’s intentions a bit more intricately.
Throughout the series you see that he is trying to wipe everyone who knew of what happened to Anna off the face of the earth, that included himself. He did not want Anna to remember. So when it was revealed she did remember, he mourned. It was subtle but evident in the anime when she reveals “you are wrong.” something in him shifted - for once he was reacting to the words of another.
She said "he had a smile but seemed like he was crying. I never seen such an expression on his face before." That entire scene, Johan’s eyes expressed something we’ve never seen from him throughout the series - a sense of mourning or longing?
Johan in front of Anna always appeared the most human and I feel Naoki did this with purpose.
(Naoki specifically told the directors/animators of the anime series to never stray from how he expressed Johan's eyes for a very important reason. )
Johan's expression finally meeting Anna after 13 years apart.
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If, however, Johan DID truly think he was the one who suffered at the red rose mansion, his “perfect suicide” plan still relates to his twisted-selfless feelings for Anna.
Johan learns it was not him that suffered at the Red Rose Mansion...but Anna instead. and then Johan goes on to commit the "perfect suicide." In his plan to die, he wanted to take The Monster with him, forcing Bonaparte to endure the same exact hell he forced Anna to suffer as a child.
Call it an act of revenge. Some may think Johan is incapable of being vengeful but I cannot see this cruel and calculated act as anything other than malice. After Bonaparte was finally dead, the monster disposed of - Johan was ready to die.
But you can see his conviction began to slip away when Anna forgave him. What made it worse was realizing he was wrong about Tenma because even now, Tenma was still hesitating on killing him ruthlessly like he always presumed would happen. Johan thought he had humans all figured out - after all, all Johan has EVER known was the darkness in people’s hearts. That is why he was so confused/moved by Tenma and wanted so desperately to prove him wrong.
The manga portrays Johan’s expressions 1000X BETTER THAN THE ANIME. As soon as Anna arrives, Johan is just staring at the floor, unable to look at her - Repeating everything from that fateful rainy night when they were kids. But this time, Anna doesn’t kill him, she chooses love and compassion. and when she says she forgives him - his reaction is something the anime does not do justice
(The subtle shift the artist expressed in his eyes from her words is so significant but missed in the anime; but he reacts rather deeply, moved and shocked by her words.)
Because "Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again."
In the manga he isn’t quick to reply. He ponders over her words carefully and I think this is when his mind starts panicking.
Anna realized that forgiveness was the one thing he wanted that night she shot him, despite him also thinking his death was needed. His value depended on her view of him; and what she once robbed from him was now returned - a human being worthy of forgiveness instead of a monster.
He is telling her the evident truth that he cannot turn back because he TRULY believes Tenma is going to kill him any moment.
Johan refuses her forgiveness not because he resents her or thinks its too late for her to redeem herself - but because he doesn’t think he deserves it. “There are somethings that cannot be undone.” Because it is too late, Johan is going to die - he WANTS to die. Then you see the fear and helplessness in his eyes after getting the one thing he always wanted [ Anna’s forgiveness] because he desperately wanted to die as the only thing he knew himself to be: the nameless, nonexistent monster. But both Anna and Tenma rob him of that by bestowing upon him the gift of compassion, mercy and empathy; for the first time treating and valuing him like a human being instead of a monster,god,experiment, devil etc., as everyone around him has his entire life.
(The Monster inside of Johan begins to crumble.)
Johan in his final moments was cracking and finally falling apart. You see it in the final expression he makes: the distraught, confusion and sadness. Because he realized, he was wrong about people, he was wrong about the world. But how can we blame him for his view on humanity when all he has ever been shown since birth was how ugly, selfish, cruel and inhumane people can be?
How can we expect someone who has only seen darkness to be able to find the light?
I want to clarify one thing I noticed: Johan has never shown to take any kind of sick satisfaction from killing unlike all the other serial killers being interviewed in the series. (aside from Richard) Specifically, Johan is without "the lust for murder" as Lunge explains in Another Monster - which is why Johan hired other people to kill for him instead. Especially contrasting Johan with Roberto, specifically, when Roberto tries to kill Anna.
(that is until Richard, which makes Johan's dealings with him stand out for a reason. He doesn't even take pleasure in killing the Red Hiddenburg, he leaves before witnessing her death instead of reveling in his 'checkmate' coming to fruition.)
Despite his callousness and his lack of care for life - Johan, despite how much of a "monster" he was, very clearly had humanity and had love....for his sister most of all. Johan saw when his mother choose, how little their lives meant to her and this instilled his nihilism at such a young age. He watched Anna get tossed to the wolves like nothing and in that moment, he probably thought his mother chose Anna over him for a reason. (even though the question on her intention would haunt him for the rest of his life) But her being able to choose is what hurt him the most and it's probably what instilled his self sacrificing mentality to care for Anna above the world in order to never make the same mistake his mother had.
That is why after she got back from the Red Rose Mansion, he cried for her story and apologized as if it was his responsibility to feel guilty over what happened to her. It should have been him that suffered. Then after, he treats her with the upmost care, telling her everything is hers, no matter what she will win everything because he would deem it so. He is kind to her, never letting go of her hand even when she is dragging behind - he sacrificed all of himself for her...
Because she deserved everything in the world to contrast their mother throwing her away.
(it should be noted that the Lieberts did not want Anna either but only adopted her because Johan refused to leave the orphanage without her. Which is also why I believe he killed them when Bonaparta came because he thought the Lieberts were conspiring with Bonaparta to get Anna)
🌰 (The ‘Acorn game’ represents their Mother's choice, a child in each hand. But in this version, Johan would ensure that no matter what hand Anna chooses, she will NEVER choose wrong. He manipulates the fate behind her choices by holding two acorns instead of one; never letting her make the same mistake as her mother.)
He wanted her to know above all else, she was loved.
A clear indication of this adoration/attachment he has for her is the fact that he DOES NOT forget her even after enduring the hellish experiments in Kinderheim that aimed at wiping out / messing around with his memories.
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I wrote this because I was astounded to see various posts/Wiki pages implying that Johan’s intentions were to torture Anna and make her kill herself. Telling her to shoot him was his first attempt to drive her insane? They twisted a lot of things Johan did to try and make this statement true. But I cannot comprehend how they drew this conclusion? The series has characters mentioning on more than a few occasions that Anna is dear to Johan. "He is lost with you."
Everyone knew Anna was important to Johan, Professor Geidlitz was the first to mention this besides the old blind man. Roberto was aware of this which is why he tried to kill her as mentioned in Another Monster. Which is ALSO why Peter Capek tried to hold her hostage to prevent Johan from killing him.
and for the first time, Johan DOESN'T kill him.
Johan cried when he awoke at the hospital after he reached for his sister and she screamed in fear of him. His face full of tears - his heart completely broken. If his intention was to drive Anna insane, he would have triumphed in that moment she screamed and fell to the ground after he reached out to her. But instead he mourned.
Anna has mentioned several times that Johan has cried for her, like when he was in the room full of their happy portraits, he was crying. He never once tried to bring harm to Anna - not intentionally towards her person. Explaining the Fortners murder - either he killed the Fortners after they decided to keep lying to her, thus keeping him in the shadows when he wanted to return. OR he killed them because they were going to tell her the truth about her identity, which was something Johan worked to conceal. (this theory is explained thoroughly in essay #2 )
Regardless, if he wanted to torment her, he would not have tried to lure her away to the castle when he set up the Fortners to be killed.
They imply that Johan wanted to torture her and then kill her at the end. But that makes absolutely no sense. Where in the storyline does Johan give off this tendency towards her? Even at the end he told her where to meet him in Ruhenheim and not once did he try to shoot her or Tenma. Honestly, if he really wanted to provoke Tenma to shoot him, he would have held the gun to Anna instead of a random child. But even though being shot by Tenma was his greatest endeavor, he refused to point the gun at someone who was important to Tenma...because Anna, is important to Johan too.
To say Johan, despite being hailed as the Monster of the series, had no love or humanity in him and was merely the Devil himself...completely missed the point of the story...
I’d like to point out the constant mentioning of Hitler in this story and draw another important factor...Hitler brainwashed people to commit mass genocide. Under his rule, millions perished in horrific ways. But despite that...Hitler was capable of loving others. Hitler was also loved by others. The terrifying truth about people who commit atrocities...is that they are not monsters or demons or devils...
they are merely human.
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Here’s two passages from ANOTHER MONSTER [novel post Monster written by Naoki] that really drives this point:
- PSA: My twin brother FINALLY finished his 2 HOUR Johan Analysis Essay, that dives deeper into Johan's character. This essay and essay #2 will be included in this analysis video as we both worked on it together. However, this lays out the details visually and with beautiful music. Please watch!
youtube
#anna liebert#Nina Fortner#Johan Liebert#Naoki Urasawa's Monster#Monster anime#Naoki Urasawa#Anime twins#Dr. Tenma#Kenzo Tenma#Franz Bonaparta#Leovoid#Johan#Liebert twins#Monster meta#anime meta#Youtube
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CW Mentions of physical abuse and vomit
…
Based off this post of an Au where Hunter stays with Belos until the day of Unity
These sketches are based on the finale where Hunter was the one to stay with the collector instead.
1st sketch “Don’t act like you care” is Hunter denying help per usual. This context is after Luz kills Belos and try’s to speak to Hunter.
2st “Get away from me” Hunter vomiting after being possessed. The others try to to approach him but he shoots down all attempts
3rd “I’m so sorry!I didn’t realize threatening to hit you was bad! I just wanted to play! I must be bad like Belos since he hit you all the time! “…It’s fine…” The collector apologizing to Hunter for his treatment during the game. The collector never hit Hunter but he did threaten to similar to the way he threatened people in canon, except with physical violence. Repeat, they never actually hit Hunter. The collector witness quite a bit of the abuse that Hunter went through in the hands of Belos. Hunter says it’s fine but he’s more concerned by the group of people watching (Luz, King, Eda, Amity, Gus, and Willow
4th, just a grumpy little Hunter
#my art#my sketches#digital art#art#hunter toh#hunter the owl house#the owl house#toh#hunter the golden guard#toh hunter#the owl house hunter#hunter au#hunter fanart#the owl house au#the owl house fanart#golden guard toh#toh au#toh collector#the owl house collector#collector the owl house#cw abuse#cw physical abuse#cw vomit#this is pretty angsty
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Lots of thoughts on life series gem + etho character parallels/divergences because of this post:
from gem's video, etho is the only one not to question gem's flower gift. martyn immediately jumps down to eat it and ren encourages him, whereas lizzie accepts it but does question if this is a distraction from something going on. while bdubs says the flower will be vile poison and tango tells him to eat it, etho says he will keep it as his precious gift from gem. immediately and without question.
i think on some level etho would attribute gem's secret life success (3rd place in her first appearance!) to her ruthlessness (embodied in both pvp ability but also attitude) and maybe subconsciously wants to model his behaviour after that sort of thing. but while gem is not 'nice', she is kind. and she is kind without agenda or forethought, telling him that he's not a terrible person or a self-deprecating lizzie that she's not stupid. etho is in receipt of that kindness, and appreciates it, even if he doesn't yet realise how genuine and simultaneously necessary it is to her character.
i think wild life can probably be marked as etho's first attempt at forging his own reputation from the outset, rather than letting others define him (intimidating in 3l+ll, washed up in liml+sl) and actively considers his position in the game as important to his sense of self. this also parallels gem, who entered secret life with an amount of reputation as 'geminislay' but used her first appearance to try to forge her reputation in the way she wanted - she wanted to be just 'gem'. when she gives out flowers in wild life, she is again taking her reputation into her own hands but to different ends than etho.
at least in some measure, gem's kindness comes from a place of security of self - she doesn't doubt her ability and knows she can fight back if people overstep, so she can be kind without worrying that it will open the door to let people think they can walk all over her. etho is trying to emulate toughness but from a place of insecurity (viewing his 'niceness' as the reason he hasn't performed better) and it's why he struggles with staying tough when he is granted an amount of security from gem's gift. enter concluding thought here.
#etho#ethoslab#geminitay#gem#wild life#a note on sl gem reputation:#being just gem became subverted by the game and the tasks more than by her agency#where she was encouraged to lie (telling bdubs that the feeling of them being friends is not mutual)#and became the flag-bearer and patient zero for the boogeyman apocalypse#also im not a gem scholar sorry if this is wildly wrong#wl
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A/N: Decided to answer these two in one go. Screenshotted, lol. 3rd POV and the reader is referred to as they/it like last time. Also, I’m gonna be honest with you, after the last Adam post, I started to find his relationship with Sera and Lute intriguing. They both make an appearance (separately).
I just found out. Apparently, Sera and Emily are sisters (just with huge age gaps)? Well, I never viewed them as actual mother and daughter, but I was leaning more towards motherly-figure Sera. Kept it vague.
Words: 1,404 (not including the bullet points)
Warnings: Swearing (surprisingly not as vulgar as pt.1)
———
More Adam w/ a Child!Reader
• to solidify my statement that Adam wouldn’t just give the child away to someone else—along with the points I said in the previous Adam post—is because he didn’t want to seem incapable and, God forbid, ask for help?
• uh-uh. No way
• also, I don’t really see their first word being “papa”
• because of Adam, the kid cursing as their first word seems pretty on-brand
• not to mention that I don’t think they were with many people other than Adam, Lute, possibly Sera, and maybe his friends, too
• if he even has any
• and this isn’t even slander (when Charlie said, haven’t you had a night of drinking with friends after a rough night, he neither confirmed nor denied it. Not exactly the most reliable proof, but I take whatever I get)
• so, yeah, they were stuck with Adam’s vocabulary, unfortunately
• but for the sake of it, I’ll do “papa” as their first word (“fafa”, actually. You’ll get it when you read it)
Also, uh, heavily focused on Adam. Again. I mean, you can’t really do much with a child!reader in regards to personality, so.
———
Adam sat comfortably on his chair outside his balcony, his hand carrying Adam Jr. while the other was mindlessly plucking at his wings’ loose feathers. He would let them fall onto the floor after collecting a pile of them on his lap, finding that to be the only source of entertainment he could do without his kid crying.
Before he was going to push his feathers off his lap, a gust of wind blew them off for him and they flew over the edge of his balcony. All of his previous feathers slipped through the railing’s gaps as well.
His hand lingered mid-air as he looked up to see Sera land next to him. “Holy shit.” He instantly became more animated, a grin forming on his face as he stood up. “Y’know, I keep forgetting that anyone can just waltz in here.”
“Good evening to you, too, Adam.”
He bit back from replying rudely, instead choosing to place his hand on his hip while he held Adam Jr. closer to him. “Yeah, whatever.”
Sera then went on to dramatically stare down at the scenery above the city of Heaven, hands folded in front of her as Adam waited for her to say something. He got impatient after a few seconds.
“What’s up your ass?”
She turned her head to face him and furrowed her brows. He only rolled his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching downward into a grimace as he slightly turned his head away from the head seraphim. Her attention was instantly directed to the baby in his arms. “Do you mind if I hold it?”
Adam jerked back at the sudden ask. “Uh, weird request…but you do you.” When he didn’t attempt to move, Sera leaned down and took the sleeping child from his secured arms, standing back to her height as she observed their peaceful slumber.
Quite a surprise, frankly. She didn’t think Adam was capable of handling something so fragile as life for more than a day, let alone a whole year.
The feeling of a baby in her arms made her reminisce about the time when Emily was just as little.
“The concept of birth is astonishing…”
“ʼKay…?”
“Having a child is one of God’s greatest blessings...”
“Uh-huh.”
“You must be very proud…”
“Uh, yeah…sure…”
“It even has your wings.”
“Y’know, this is starting to feel a little one-sided right now.”
“What I’m trying to say is—” Sera seemed to have gotten out of her sentimental trance and narrowed her eyes at the man below her, “—you are fortunate to have this child, Adam.” She slowly returned the child to its father and watched as Adam held them back securely in his arms. “Children grow up faster than you think. Spend your time wisely. It’s not as if you’ll get any older yourself.”
“Mhm, yeah, got it.” The seraphim only hardened her gaze. “Okay! Fatherhood is the best thing ever, time is faster than the speed of light blah blah blah.” He swayed his head from side to side to emphasize each word, shoulders slumped. “Sheesh. Don’t have to be so sensitive over a kid that isn’t yours.”
Sera tightly shut her already parted lips and deeply breathed out through her nose, turning her back on the man and pushing the hair that strayed on her face. She didn’t say anything more and simply stared at the view on his balcony again.
Adam only raised a brow at her unusual behavior.
“So, not that I care or anything, or about your weird touchy-feely icky vibes, but you never told me why you’re here, so, if you could just tell me what I need to know and leave, that’ll be really great—”
“Adam.”
“Okay. Fine.” He held up a hand and lifted his shoulders. “Wallow in your melancholic—whatever this is. It totes ruined my vibes. I’mma dip.” Adam flapped his wings to get himself on the railings as the head seraphim watched him gently fly down with his child.
Sera speculated he would most likely come back after ten minutes. That would hopefully be enough time for her to have a composed mind to have a discussion with the first man.
———
“Say, ‘fuck’.”
He was told that it was smart to teach his kid how to start speaking at this age with pictures and shit. Adam, however, went with his method and sat Adam Jr. and himself on the carpet floor, repeatedly saying what he wanted it to say. He’d been like this for half an hour.
“Fafa!”
He blinked.
“That’s not what I fucking wanted you to say, but, close enough.” He shrugged. “Now say, ‘di—”
•••
It was only after Lute came over that he realized what his kid just said.
“Yeah, so my kid just called me his dad. First words,” Adam spoke with drawled-out speech, inspecting his lack of nails. “Pretty dope,” he accentuated the ‘p’ in ‘dope’
“That’s not what we were talking about, Sir.” Lute had her hands on the edge of the table as they both sat on the carpet floor.
“Uh, does it look like I care?” He had his kid on his lap, playing with it by holding its hands in his and making them punch thin air. “ʼSides, we still have a week to finish this shit.”
Lute only deadpanned at her leader going off-topic to talk about his kid but said nothing more, deciding it was best to let him run out of things to say so they could get some work done without interruption.
———
“Yeah, you little piece of shit, slash ʼem!” Adam’s maniacal and obnoxious laughter bounced around his living room space as Adam Jr. punctured the heads of hand-made figures of sinners with their fake angelic spear (he couldn’t get a real one, unfortunately. They’re only obtainable during the extermination).
Lute happened to walk in on the scene. Adam always left his balcony door open. His neighbors, despite being come-and-goers, continually complained about his loud guitar sequences. He always responded with something about how he was being generous and that they should be happy—heck, blessed that they were getting a free concert without having to pay.
He hasn’t had those arguments lately, though.
She observed him sitting on the cardboard-littered floor with his HolyPhone in hand, assumably recording his child slaughtering the wretched sinners.
He had the biggest smile she’d ever seen on his mask.
“Sir, what are you doing?”
“AH!” he released a guttural yell as he snapped his head over to the source of the voice. “Jeez, Lute—what does it look like I’m doing?”
The lieutenant immediately answered, “Playing with your offspring, Sir.”
“I’m not playing! I had tons of cardboard lying around from my fan mail, and throwing them all away’s a bother.” he defensively retorted. “And, ew, don’t call it offspring. It’s Adam Jr. now. Check it.” Adam clumsily messed with his phone, muttering curses until he found the video he was looking for in his endless album of blurry photos. He showed the screen to Lute, not realizing it wasn’t even playing. “This kid will grow up to be such a badass!”
“But it isn’t meant to be an exterminator, Sir.”
“Uh, so what?” He placed his hands on his hips.
Lute missed a beat when countering, “Sera won’t allow it.”
“Pftt, what? No.” Adam refuted with a wave of his hand. “She so would. I have the proof.” He lifted his phone and shook it for emphasis. “And it’s my extermination, so I do whatever the fuck I want.”
Lute turned her head away momentarily before perking back up. “When it grows up eventually, it’s a possibility.”
“Ah, what? I can’t wait that loooong,” he whined, slumping onto the floor. “Bummer. I mean, imagine a tiny cunt-born exorcist! How cool is that? The first in history!”
She nodded. “With it under your wing, I know that it can learn our ways just as quickly as we slaughter those wretched sinners.”
Adam tapped a finger on his chin, face scrunched in thought before he placed his hands on his hips as he kneeled on the floor. “Hmm, yeah.” He spread out his wings, too lazy to stand up on his own two feet. He then plucked Adam Jr. from the floor by their armpits, deciding to bring them along without much thought. “Let’s go pitch the idea to Sera. And let’s get takeout on the way.”
“Right beside you, Sir.”
#hazbin hotel x reader#adam x reader#adam x child!reader#child!reader#child reader#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel lute#hazbin hotel sera#kinopiowrites
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Tom Blyth x Actress!Reader
i try to avoid descriptors but i do use she/her! click [HERE] for my tom blyth masterlist :)
you post a meme, but of course the internet takes it too far. set a few days after the vogue interviews, so tbosas has been out just over a month. we’ll just say december 22 since it came out november 17. also i changed the ending for the film because eventually you’ll be working on the sequel hehshsdb
tagged; ewanmitchell
liked by houseofthedragonhbo and others…
yourname me trying to sneak into theaters so i can see people’s reactions to tbosas but i don’t want them to know it’s me. alternatively; coriolanus walking around knowing damn well what he did to sejanus and lucy gray 🤬
username excuse me i’m wheezing 😭
↳ username she really tagged ewan snsjdhxjsushxa
rachelzegler 😂😂😂😂
yourname has liked this comment
username she better avenge her boyfriend in the sequel!!!!
↳ username has a sequel been confirmed already???
↳ username not officially but with how things ended there better be one. talk about a cliffhanger!
↳ username can anyone spoil it for me how does it end??
↳ justiceforsejanus well since you asked!! after the cabin fight scene with nova may and coryo, he does manage to knock the gun out of her hand and attempt to choke her to death BUT my gworl makes an escape and goes who knows where. cut to coriolanus with his 3rd hairstyle of the movie and he looks out before it cuts to black and then the quote from future him “it’s the things we love most that destroy us”. you think it’s over right but NO MID CREDIT SCENE!!!! he knocks on a door and nova may answers. she’s obviously shocked and all he does is that stupid grin (🥵) and say “we’re gonna make a deal”. THEN the screen cuts to black and… that’s all we get. definitely potential for a sequel
↳ username waaaait that means yourname and tomblyth will work together again! and this time their characters might interact more!
username why does she always post ewan when she’s dating tom?
↳ yournamefan relax becky it’s a meme.
↳ username just saying i wouldn’t appreciate that.
↳ yourname good thing i’m dating tom and not you then isn’t it 🤭 also i love you yournamefan 💕
ewanmitchell if i had a dollar for every time you used this screenshot 😩
↳ yourname omg it’s lucerys killer aaaahhhh!!!!
↳ ewanmitchell i hate you 😩😩
enews uh-oh! yourname posting about her on screen boyfriend and not tomblyth? 👀
↳ yourname please take several seats
yourname has blocked enews
username poor tomblyth
↳ username right. yourname isn’t even that pretty he could do so much better!
↳ username 👏👏👏👏
↳ username i hope he leaves her soon.
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Tom Blyth x Actress!Reader taglist — if you requested to be tagged and don’t see your user, I wasn’t able to tag you! if you’d like to be added, let me know!
@daenerysqueenofhearts | @coconut-dreamz | @spencerstits | @callsignwidow | @inf4ntdeath | @upsidedownjill | @toeoffrog | @bada-lee-ily | @sassyangel16 | @or-was-it-just-a-dream | @jolleluvsyou | @ennycutie | @ashcosmo
#tom blyth#tom blyth x you#tom blyth x reader#tom blyth x fem!reader#tom blyth x f!reader#tom blyth x female reader#tom blyth fluff#tom blyth angst#coriolanus snow#coriolanus#coryo#tbosas#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#coriolanus snow fluff#coriolanus snow angst#coriolanus fluff#coriolanus angst#tom blyth social media au#social media au#tom blyth fic#tom blyth fanfiction#coriolanus snow x female reader#coriolanus snow x f!reader#coriolanus snow x fem!reader#coriolanus snow x you#coriolanus x female reader#coriolanus x f!reader#coriolanus x fem!reader#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus x you
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Just rewatched Beetlejuice Beetlejuice again, and I have thoughts!
But this was my first time watching it while being a Betelgeuse x Lydia shipper, so there might be some unhinged shipper takes here. I'll leave my completely speculative, potentially emotionally-charged impressions under the "read more" cut, under the list.
A lot of what I'll mention here I already noticed after my first watch, but I hadn't written a post like this about my impressions after watching the movie, so I decided to put it all here.
Here it goes!
This movie NEEDED more Betelgeuse. I'm sorry, Michael, but you are kinda wrong. It's not like we need the movie to be all about Betelgeuse, but we needed at least five or ten more minutes with the ghost with the most.
The movie sprang to life whenever Delia was onscreen. The same can be said about Betelgeuse.
The chemistry between Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder was through the roof. All scenes between them were immaculate and precisely why we needed MORE Betelgeuse!
I didn't notice how slow the first half of the movie felt, until Betelgeuse shows up. The movie picks up the pace after the couples therapy scene.
Betelgeuse is crazy about Lydia, no doubt. Was he gonna try to kiss her when he said "come here" right before she yelled "home, home, home!"? I think he definitely was going to throw himself at her. Anyway, he had several chances to do that later and he didn't try anything, but he might have been more restrained not to scare her away again.
Betelgeuse always seems to be more careful around Lydia (about checking her out, touching her, etc). Is he shy about Lydia specifically? lol
We needed more interactions between these two, especially so Lydia could see Betelgeuse wasn't the scary demon she thought him to be. He's more of a self-serving, lovable a-hole with a perverted side, than an all out evil entity. (She still got to see he's not that bad through his actions in the movie, after he saves Astrid and goes above and beyond by also exposing Rory and sending Jeremy to hell lol, but we needed a little more conversation between the two. This would help Lydia process her trauma around Betelgeuse. (*I have a point about this particular thing below, under the cut). Also would have helped the audience see why Betelgeuse's motivation to marry Lydia had nothing to do with Delores and everything to do with how he feels about Lydia herself (he was already chasing Lydia before Delores came into the picture, and had been doing so for over 30 years, as he keeps her photo on his desk and hasn't moved it from there, as shown by the cobweb behind it. Betelgeuse is looking into that portrait literally every single day).
Delores could have been entirely removed from this movie and nothing would have changed. When she shows up and says "Betelgeuse is mine" she literally does nothing to Lydia, whose photo she had literally smashed minutes earlier. When faced with the real woman who she believes to be stealing her man, she doesn't attempt anything against her? That was weak writing.
Everything around Delores was weak writing, except for her backstory.
Lydia did not leave Winter River at the end of the movie. I think the bed she wakes up in after the nightmare is still in Winter River.
As a matter of fact, the nightmare/dream sequence starts when she's quitting her show. The music that denotes that this is a dream starts there. Lydia did not quit the show. She might later on (if there's a 3rd movie we'll know if she did quit), but by the end of this movie she did not quit. That was part of the dream.
Betelgeuse starts blowing up like a balloon before Lydia says his name three times. She's said it once and he started ballooning. So I confirm: he did this himself on purpose. This man is a drama king and this was his grand exit back into the afterlife. 😂
I had this strange vibe that Astrid was bullshitting when she said that by violating code 699 the marriage contract was null and void. The contract also burned when she mentioned it. If it was null and void by Betelgeuse's violation of the code, why is it that it only burned when Astrid mentioned it?
Betelgeuse was indeed in bed with Lydia at the end. Not only is she sleeping to one side of the bed, the pillow he was in was wrinkled like he'd been lying there, and we can also hear the echo of his laugh. This makes me believe that he's the one who put the dream in her mind. Maybe to get back at her for banishing him. (This is a headcanon though, but the fact stands: Betelgeuse was truly there).
Oh before I forget, Lydia did look sad/conflicted at the end after Betelgeuse blew up and vanished. We can't know exactly how she felt after her time with Betelgeuse in this movie because it ended before we had a moment with Lydia alone after everything was said and done. Her story doesn't wrap up, because after she says her goodbye to Delia, what we have with Lydia is the dream sequence. Then she wakes up next to Betelgeuse, and again, alone, but still we can hear Betelgeuse's laugh echoing in the room as Lydia looks half scared, half confused (her face is like "wtf??") as the final scene of the movie.
And now for the potentially unhinged fangirl takes and headcanons (mostly revolving around Betelgeuse and Lydia):
Lydia has always had unresolved feelings for/around Betelgeuse. These unresolved feelings, whatever they are, has not allowed Lydia's romantic relationships to progress. The movie presents these feelings as trauma, and I find that very interesting. Let's explore this one a bit:
Early in the movie when Lydia is talking to Astrid about death and Richard is mentioned, Lydia mentions that her relationship with Richard had ended long before he left and had his accident in the Amazon. Astrid also mentions later that his dad left after his relationship with her mom had ended (If I recall correctly, Astrid says it like "after they separated, my dad left").
Then, when Lydia is talking to Delia after she's seen the Betelgeuse ad that Astrid found in the attic, she starts talking to Delia about how she met Rory at a grief retreat dealing with the loss of Richard and some unresolved feelings. Notice how she said her relationship was over long before his death. Naturally she was grieving him, but what are these unresolved feelings about? Is there guilt involved due to... :
Later, when Lydia tells Rory about Betelgeuse, she goes about it this way: She reminds Rory about their couples therapist, and how he told her that until she faced this "thing" that she was holding back, her relationship with Rory was not going to evolve. This thing of course turns out to be Betelgeuse.
So this kinda confirms that Lydia has some unresolved feelings around Betelgeuse that are holding her romantic relationships back.
As I mentioned above, this is presented as trauma. Is it because of her experiences in the first movie? I don't think so for various reasons: She not only grew up surrounded by the love and care of the Maitlands, she also hasn't seen or heard Betelgeuse in years though she's felt his presence. She also appeared to be living happily at the end of the first movie. You can't present me a traumatized character in the sequel when you showed me this character to be completely fine at the end of the previous film. Lydia also mentions to Delia that her anxiety comes from seeing ghosts every day.
So her traumatic feelings about Betelgeuse stem from something inside her that she needs to face or she won't be able to move on. Keep in mind these are my interpretations and shouldn't be taken as fact! But I believe that Lydia's trauma stems from guilt about having feelings and attraction toward Betelgeuse (possibly since she was a teenager), someone who, in her own words, she is convinced is a "trickster demon".
She may have always been attracted to him, but she pushed it down ("held it back", using her own words). She probably worries that having these feelings makes her "wrong" in some form. That she is "dirty" or even "evil" herself. How can she feel an attraction to someone like Betelgeuse, who is not only scary-looking, but also did scary things to her family and once tried to force her to marry him? These are her conflicted thoughts.
Confronting these emotions is Lydia's true path to healing wholly, because she will be faced with her own darkness. And this is what she is vehemently avoiding by wanting Betelgeuse out of her life (whilst simultaneously wanting him in her life).
This is yet ANOTHER reason why we need a third film: Lydia needs to face her own feelings about Betelgeuse or else she will always be stuck in life. Her relationships will always fail because her heart belongs to someone else; to the one person (ghost) she refuses to give it to, not because of what she feels about him, but because of what having these feelings makes her feel about herself. Only facing this will Lydia be whole again.
That's interesting material for a third and final film, but again, just my headcanons and interpretations. These movies are mostly comedy, and so it's unlikely they will go into the deep stuff. But then again, this movie at times went surprisingly deep, despite being mostly bonkers comedy, so there is a chance they will explore deeper, darker themes in the final installment. Usually the final film in a series goes harder than the rest into the deeper and more nuanced themes.
#Beetlejuice Beetlejuice#Beetlebabes#Beetlejuice x Lydia#Betelgeuse x Lydia#Beetlejuice meta#My thoughts about Beetlejuice Beetlejuice#Things I write
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