#2001 what a year to be born

[shi0n]

2025 is going to be the year of the snake. so shion year because he has a 'snake' coiled around his body. also the year of shion shi0n as snake is my chinese zodiac sign.. wait please ignore my momentary lapse of reason. shion no.6 and shion from real life have the same birth year so we are both snakes.

[girlcockholmes]

i used to make fun of my dad not keeping track of his age but goddamn i need to take a second to think about it every time someone asks

[funkytoesart]

idc how much time passes or how old you technically get if you have a "2" in front of your birth year you'll always be a baby infant in my eyes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[mashmouths]

why does every shaw scholar need to ride freud's dick so hard :/ cannot find a single article that talks about mrs. warren's profession without freudian analysis, and all the feminist critiques just talk about how shaw's plays don't live up to his feminist philosophies

[comfycozycrossfox]

everyone in my immediate family smokes weed and my parents have for YEARSSS and years and years . which is cool bc they have hella knowledge from like Experience and also older smoking culture . but also i go to modern dispensaries so i know about weed technology they aren’t even AWARE OFFFF bc they figured out what they liked years ago and didn’t really keep up. which means i get to do shit like teaching my mom what a dab pen is

[link-the-feral-anon]

... 22 is not old

There's a whole T Swift song about 22 and how it's NOT old and is, in fact, young. A song I WILL be bothering each of my younger siblings with on each of their 22nd birthdays

[finalgirl3]

missed Tumblr haven't been on a lot bc I'm on my college student grind homework done test passed #moment

[cacw]

well if they're both born in 1991 edward is younger which I think is wrong. so maybe he's a 1990 baby

[yokelfelonking]

Post 9/11 Trivia

Most folks on this site were either children on September 11, 2001, or weren’t even born yet.  But America went crazy for about a year afterwards.  Here’s some highlights that I remember that might not be in your history books:

There was national discussion on whether or not Halloween should be canceled because…fuck if I know why.  After planes crashed into buildings in NYC it follows that 6-year-olds in Iowa shouldn’t be allowed to dress up like Batman and ask their neighbors for candy, I guess.  (Halloween wasn’t canceled, by the way.)

On a similar note, people asked if comedy - any sort of comedy - was appropriate anymore, ever.

People sold shitty parachutes to suckers “in case your building gets attacked and you have to jump out the window.” There were honest-to-God news reports warning people not to jump out of the window with shitty mail-order parachutes because they wouldn't work.

As a follow-up to the attacks, someone mailed anthrax to some prominent politicians and news anchors - you know, famous people - along with some badly-written notes about “you cannot stop us, death to America, Allah is good” and after that every time some random dumbass found a package in the mail they didn’t recognize they thought that the terrorists were targeting them, too.

Everyone was similarly convinced that their town was going to be the next target, even if they were a little town in the middle of nowhere. "Our town of Bumblefuck, South Dakota (population 690) has the largest styrofoam pig statue west of the Mississippi! Terrorists might fly planes into that too! It's a prime target!"

People started taping up their windows and trying to make their houses or apartments airtight out of fear of chemical and biological attacks. There were news reports warning people that turning your house into an airtight box was a bad idea because, y'know, you need air to breathe.

"[X] supports terrorism!" and “if we do [X], the terrorists win!” were used as arguments for everything.  "Some rich Arab you never heard of donated to his organization that backs Hamas which backs al-Queda, and also owns stock in a holding company that has partial ownership of the Pringles company, so if you eat Pringles you're supporting terrorism!" "The terrorists want to tear down our freedoms and our way of life and rule us through fear! Eating what you want is one of our freedoms as Americans! If you're afraid to eat Pringles, the terrorists win!" (I promise you that this sort of argument is in no way hyperbole.) (This argument is how Halloween was saved, by the way.  “If we cancel Halloween, the terrorists win!”)

People worked 9/11 into everything, and I mean everything, whether it was appropriate or not.  If you went to the grocery store the tortilla chips would remind you to support the troops on the packaging. Used car sales would be dedicated to our brave first responders. You couldn't wipe your ass without the toilet paper rolls reminding you to never forget the fallen of 9/11, and again, this is not hyperbole. My uncle, who lived in Ohio and had never been to New York except to visit once in the 70′s, died of a stroke about 8 months after 9/11, and the priest brought up the attacks at the eulogy.

On a similar local note, on the day of 9/11, after the towers went down, gas stations in my home town immediately jacked up gas prices.  The mayor had the cops go around and force them to take them back down.  I doubt any of that was legal.

Before 9/11, Christianity in America - and religion in general - was on a downward swing, with reddit-tier atheism on the upswing. Religion was outdated superstition from a bygone age. The day after 9/11? Every single church was PACKED. (This wasn't a bad thing, but the power-hungry on the Evangelical Right saw this as a golden opportunity to grab power and influence.)

EDIT: By Popular Demand - Freedom Fries. I initially left these off because they came a couple years after the initial panic and most people thought they were kind of absurd (and I don't recall anyone really going along with it other than maybe some local diners here and there). France didn't want to get involved in our world policing so some folks were like "TRAITORS!" and wanted to call french fries "Freedom Fries" instead, so as to stick it to the French.

Besides dumb shit like that…it’s really hard to overstate how completely the national mood and character changed in the span of a day, or how much of the current culture war is a result of the aftermath. (9/11 was the impetus for the sharp rise in power of the Evangelical Right, who made themselves utterly odious and the following backlash helped the rise of the current Progressive Left, for instance.)

And if all of this seems batshit...well, it was. But I want you to think for a moment how people react today over even trivial shit. People send death threats over children's cartoons. They call for blood if the maker of a video game had an opinion they don't like. If someone made a racist joke a decade ago when they were a teenage edgelord, folks will go after people who even associate with them. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ALL THE HARM THEY'RE DOING!?"

Now take that same level of over-the-top histrionics and apply it to the unprecedented event of passenger planes crashing into crowded buildings in America's most populous city and killing thousands of people all at once. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WE WERE ATTACKED!?"

[little-smartass]

all ages referenced from the AA wiki, if the birth year is listed as sometime between two years, I took the lower year. capcom really were like [slaps the roof of AA] "this bad boy can fit so many 90s babies"

phew! this project was a labour of love that started when I read a fic set pre Blackquill going to jail, where a smartphone was used to connect to a car and stream music, and it threw me so completely I had to google what year it was set in and ??? he went to jail in 2020???? and then I spiralled down a rabbit hole of looking up all these characters' ages to get context for how they all fit together, and it lead to this! the only gen alpha character I could find was Jinxie, who was born in 2012, and sadly the Judge does not have a listed age but I assume he's also somewhere in the Boomer category. I tried to get a mix of characters across the different games though alas, there are so MANY millenials in this franchise that there were a few I had to leave out just for space reasons.

EDIT: Klavier's birth year fixed! you guys are correct, wiki lists it as 2001, I got mixed up

[nitewrighter]

Okay so the distribution of the previous poll kind of bugged me and I feel it didn't really tell us a lot because the majority of the data was just spilt between individual years of the 90's so now I want to know...

[bunny-jpeg]

hiii!! can I please have a lemon slice and blueberry bars, with champagne and mocha coffee? served by Fernando Alonso!! <:

thank uuuuu <33333

bakery menu!

want to submit your own order? then hit up the menu!! there are tons of items to choose from and i thank everyone who has submitted them! i am going as fast i can with them! enjoy! <3

lemon slice: "i'm sorry, what was that? i can’t hear you over all that noise you’re making." + blueberry bars: “gonna make you a mamma and you're gonna make me a daddy.” + champagne: sugar daddy situation + mocha coffee: breeding kink served by fernando alonso (formula one)!!

cw: smut/pwp, sugar daddy au, age gap (23/43), breeding kink, mean!fernando, mentions of pregnancy, dirty talk, daddy kink

maybe fernando alonso was a dirty old man. he was forty three now and still was going strong in the world of racing. he held onto his seat for another season. he was well loved in his home country and aboard. but something about having a woman twenty years younger than him cling to him so cutely made him feel a lot older than he was.

that he was a cradle robber. it didn't help that you would say things like, "wow, you started in 2001.. that was the year i was born!"

it also didn't help that fernando alonso wanted to get you pregnant as soon as he could.

even fernando's fingers were bruising if he finger-fucked your hard enough. you were curled up in his bed after spanish grand prix and while he didn't walk away with the trophy. he did get to see your skirt hike up when you ran into his arms after the race. your smaller hands cupping his face as he kissed his cheeks with such affection.

he knew that most of team aston martin saw your much older boyfriend (and sugar daddy) grope your ass through your short skirt. it wouldn't be much longer until he was fingering you in his hotel bed. the kisses you shared were lazy while his fingers against spots that made your toes curl.

you were only twenty-three, so young. it tickled something in fernando's brain. you were the perfect age to have a baby with him. the image made his cock twitch in his briefs, the wet patch from the pre-cum only grew. baby that looked just like him, you around the house he owned making sure that his baby was taken care of. holding them at your hip while you made dinner. he knew if he held off too long it would never happen. so as he fingered you, he leaned into your chest and bit pretty marks into the skin. you squirmed and clenched around his fingers. he could feel your heartbeat.

"fernando! ah, daddy!" you shifted more and he only dug his fingers into your faster. your moaned got caught in your throat and he loved the sounds.

he pulled away for a moment, his dark eyes on you. he asked, "i'm sorry, what was that? i can’t hear you over all that noise you’re making. you're so loud, princess." then slipped a third finger in which made your eyes go wide.

he paid for everything in your life. from the delicious meals you ate, the clothes you wore, the house you lived in. he couldn't deny the sight of you pouting, or at its most extreme on your knees sucking his cock because someone wanted to make a big online purchase. he knew that he'd give it to you even if you didn't pleasure him, but he also knew that you were a hard working woman. who looked best at jobs that required you on your knees.

"you're biting too hard." you whined with your hands in his hair. you felt the heat of pleasure in your gut regardless. your words were a little pathetic, but he loved it. he loved everything about you. from your hard nipples poking through your bra to the wetness you left on his fingers.

he smiled at you, "but you like it, don't you? you like when it hurts a little. but i tell you want more. fingers don't work on you, you need the real thing." he chuckled before he pulled away. he licked his fingers that were in you and got between your spread legs.

"fernando." you blushed.

"don't look away from me, princess. you don't want to make daddy mad? tonight, i'm gonna make you a mamma and you're gonna make me a daddy. and you'll only become more beautiful." he gripped you by the legs and eventually pressed them together. he pushed you back till you were practically bent in half which exposed your pretty pussy to him.

he sank into you with ease and it made you twisted yourself under him, but couldn't do much as fernando pinned your wrists down to the bed and leaned over you further to press more weight down on you. effectively pinning you to the bed. you looked flustered and it turned him on. because when your face was hot, all of you was hot. and loved when his princess burned when he fucked.

you'd be the perfect mother to his children. close in age, two boys, one girl. the perfect little family for him. and the most beautiful woman in the world on his arm. the mother to his family. that made him more aroused as he worked his cock into your pussy. he felt the blood rush in his body. you were beautiful under him. squished down and letting him pin you down against the bed. you were allowing him to breed you perfect little cunt. how naughty of you, but you weren't a bad girl. not in fernando's eyes. no you were a perfect girl for him, and he loved you so deeply.

he wanted to make you he mother to his children. watch your womb grow nice and full with his child. you'd be so loving and so caring towards the child and it warmed fernanado's heart. you caring and raising his children, being the perfect wife for him. he wanted to fuck you even while you carried his child. he wanted to feel all of you as often as he could. you were a strong feeling in his chest that made him yearn for more always.

"fuck, princess." he said with a groan as he battered your sweet cunt. he pressed further into you and made sure that you were under him and that you were feeling good. he panted heavily, "you look perfect under me. you like when a big strong man does anything to you." he watched your expression change to that of bliss.

"please, fernando. ah! daddy, i love you."

"and i love you, my princess." he held onto you tighter as he worked his cock into you perfectly. he fitted nicely into you, it was a sign that you two were meant for each other. he craved you as he fucked you. he kept his eyes on you, "so perfect. you're daddy's little princess. you take me so nicely."

you moaned, "daddy. fuck that feels good." you couldn't deny it, it felt amazing. sex with fernando always felt this amazing. you couldn't get enough of him. the feeling of him inside of you was a great feeling especially as your nails dug deeper into the covers.

your toes curled and your back arched a little, your eyes fluttered shut as you whine, "i'm cumming!" you tensed up. you held onto him tightly and gripped onto his strong shoulders. he continued to bully your painfully sweet cunt.

"that's it, princess. that's it." he said as he pressed more weight onto you and thrusted inside of you. he watched you squirm under him as you felt the after shocks of pleasure. it only spurred fernando on and he continued to fuck you. with a few more heavy thrusts, he finished inside of you as well.

"ah! daddy!"

"good girl, good girl. take it all." he said as he rocked his hips a little slower against you as he pressed himself all the way inside of you. your noises were painfully sweet and you looked totally blissed out when he eventually stopped.

when he tried to pull away, you pulled him in closer by his shoulders. then you started to kiss his face, feeling his scratchy beard against your lips. it only turned the older man once more.

he looked at you and you looked back with a slight pout on your lips, "you didn't think you were becoming a father on the first try?" <3

[delusional-day-dreamer]

paige x olympian gymnast hcs!

‣ paige bueckers x olympic gymnast reader!

‣‣ synopsis: gymnastics has always been your entire life, and your dedication truly paid off when you made team usa for the 2016 rio olympics, but what happens after your injury while in the running for the 2020 tokyo olympics? #uneditedfornow

‣‣‣ a/n: just a few headcannons i have in mind for this story, if i were to make this a full blown series it MIGHT be a wattpad story with an oc or just a full tumblr series because of how long it would be... 👀

your life leading up to and including the 2016 rio olympics:

you've been doing gymnastics since you were three years old

at the age of thirteen your parents switched you to online school so you could train full time, but during this process it set you back a year, making your graduation year 2020 (same as Paige)

at the age of just fifteen you qualified for the rio olympics (meaning you were born in 2001)

your roommate that year was simone biles, and you competed at the olympics, taking home two golds (all around team and beam) and one silver (beam).

following the olympics, you became very popular for your skill at such a young age, leading you to signing many brand deals, sponsorships, photoshoots, etc.

it just so happens that your popularity reaches a certain basketball player, miss paige bueckers. in her slam interview in 2019, when asked about an athlete she admires outside of basketball, she says you. you have no idea who she is, but dm her regardless thanking her for her kind words. this is the only interaction you two have until uconn.

you continued online school for the rest of highschool, and throughout the next three years you received thirty recruitment offers out of the sixty-two schools that had a women's college gymnastics team.

your dream school had always been the University of Connecticut, but their gymnastics team didn't impress you throughout the recruitment process.

your graduation year is 2020, which happens to be the same year you got injured, right before choosing a college to commit to.

injury-related; 2020-2021:

in february of 2020, you got into a car crash while driving home from a late night practice.

you tore your left acl, dislocated your right shoulder, fractured your left collarbone, had a concussion, and suffered a left femoral fracture (ouchies i know)

thankfully you were mostly okay, but the accident completely put you out of the running for the 2020 (now moved to 2021 due to the pandemic) olympics, and doctors told you it would take at least two years to fully rehabilitate before you could even beginning training for competitions again.

your left leg had quite a few complications with the acl tear and the femoral fracture, and you had four surgeries in total on the leg.

during this time, you decided that since you couldn't compete in gymnastics, you might as well commit to the college of your student-life dreams, the university of connecticut.

UConn Era!!:

you commit to uconn for your undergrad in the sports management program, since you couldn't compete, you still wanted to remain in the athletic world.

your freshman year classes (2020-2021) was fully online due to your injuries and the pandemic, but it just so happens that you're placed as an intern with the women's basketball team for your sports management program.

you meet the team before the school year starts, and it just so happens that paige bueckers has remained a huge fan of yours.

the only reason the team recognized you immediately before you were even introduced is because of how much she has fangirled over you

you get your own apartment at uconn due to the program and your status (okay olympic privilege), which meant the team loved to hang out at your giant, well-furnished place.

you become extremely close with the team, and your first two years of rehabilitation seem to go well. it also happens that in your sophomore year, your best friend paige also fractures her meniscus, so the two of you are the resident cripples of the team!

paige has always had a huge fangirl crush on you, but over the years of you being friends, it seems those feelings develop into a little bit more...

one night while you were having a sleepover with her during her acl recovery she confesses, and the two of you start dating on the very down low

during your junior year is also when you are fully cleared to start re-training and you start getting back into gymnastics with a new coach (idk who yet!)

while balancing school and your duties with the wbb team, you start to train only four days a week, slowly getting back old skills on all four events.

you start competing in the 2023-24 season (i believe that’s how it’s measured?) and qualify for the 2024 olympics at the 2024 Xfinity U.S Gymnastics Championship

it’s safe to say your girlfriend and the entire wbb team were your biggest supporters apart from your family

Actual Olympics:

i can see you being roommates with Hezley Rivera, since she reminds you so much of yourself and you’re able to form a connection because of that.

Paige is unfortunately not able to make it to the first half of the Olympics, but she is your biggest supporter from home, constantly posting and hyping you up.

While competing, you definitely wear jewelry that she gifted you for good luck, and your hair has two braids going up into your bun, just to keep a piece of your girl close to you. Maybe even a purple ribbon braided into your hair at some point?

You also definitely took half of her closet of hoodies with you so that you could wear them and have her scent with you at night

the entire uconn wbb team, both current and players from your earlier college years, show support for you on social media, but paige’s is a little.. different than theirs

while all the girls post you on their stories or tweeting about you as, so proud of our husky 💙🐺, that’s my our uconn girly!!, etc. Paige’s are a little more special, hinting at your relationship, ex: so proud of my girl 🫶🫶

there were rumors about you and paige circulating since your freshman year, but you never bothered addressing them, and this only fueled them further.

You definitely text Paige as much as possible during meal times, facetiming at night, sending selfies all the time, etc.

The other girls definitely make fun of you if they overhear you on the phone with her, mocking you since you call each other baby as a term of endearment. They also make a tiktok cut together of a bunch of clips, basically every single time you were texting or atp with paige. the tiktok has over 50 clips!

“can you pass me that y/n?” suni asked you

“yea sure, here” you passed her the makeup brush

“thanks, baby,” she teased, making you blush

After the olympic athlete who ran straight to his girlfriend after breaking the Olympic record, I can definitely see Paige flying out to surprise you for a week or so in Paris.

Her flying out to come visit is when you guys actually hard launch, posting pictures of you at dinner with the captions, “my girl is finally here” or “yk i had to come cheer my girl on in person��

a/n: this is #uneditedfornow but that’s all i have for now yall! idk when i’m gonna make this a series but i have so many ideas for it i just might have to, but i also have two other unfinished series rn so… 😓😓

[cobaltperun]

Can I pls request a Tara X reader who is the daughter of Gale and Dewey born around 2001 so just a year older than Tara. They start dating after the events of Scream 5 and Sam is not happy after catching them having sex in Tara’s room

I really love you’re stuff and I hope you enjoy your break ☺️

She's my Girlfriend!

Tara Carpenter x Female Reader (Request)

Warning: slight smut at the very start.

Masterlist

Word count: 1.3k

She was falling apart for you, broken moans she struggled to keep relatively quiet, her hands grasping for anything to hold on to, from your shoulders, to your back, to the back of your head and neck. Her back arched, her breasts bouncing slightly as she rode your fingers. Your eyes met and you could tell she was close, her wet walls clenched around your fingers as she pulled you in for a kiss. Only to quickly pull back and moan louder than she should when your thumb found her clit.

“That’s it, Tara,” you gasped, lips latching onto her neck as she threw her head back.

“Y/N,” she moaned your name, and then the disaster struck, the doors opened abruptly and slammed into the wall, the shadow trembling with fury remained illuminated by the light from the hall.

“Damn it, Sam!” you yelled, quickly getting on top of Tara and pulling the covers to shield Tara from Sam’s gaze.

“Y/N,” Sam growled, her overprotective instincts taking over at the worst possible moment.

Tara hid her face in the crook of your neck as you struggled to get dressed under the covers, you were not fighting this battle half naked, Sam did not need extra advantages. At least you didn’t get to take your jeans off before she barged in like a maniac.

“Yes, that is my name,” you said as you almost nonchalantly moved off Tara and sat down next to her. You leaned over the bed and grabbed the shirt Tara was wearing and gave it to her, so she could at least wear that and not rely only on the covers to keep her body hidden. “Here, Tara,” you kind of hoped that ignoring Sam would let her calm down. Besides, Tara would definitely start panicking if you started panicking, even before you got together, she would be much calmer if you were calm. As she often told you, you made her feel safe and if you weren’t panicking, she felt like she didn’t need to panic either.

She still refused to look at Sam and hastily pulled the shirt on before hiding behind you. She was usually headstrong and would defy Sam in a heartbeat if she felt like she needed, but she just got caught on the verge of an orgasm, naked on your lap with your fingers knuckle-deep inside her pussy, she was a bit too embarrassed to try arguing back.

“How dare you?” Sam, however, was still seething.

So, ignoring wasn’t working, hell, with how red Sam looked it was likely making it even worse. “No! None of that,” you quickly got up and put your hand up.

“What do you mean no?! You were fucking my sister!” Sam exclaimed furiously.

“Sam… She’s my girlfriend,” you said very slowly. “Tara and I are together, girlfriends, in a relationship,” you put emphasis on every word.

Sam’s eyebrow twitched. “And?”

You could not believe what you were hearing. You threw your arms up and glared at her. “I am not going to explain to you that sex is usually a part of a relationship, also, you heard us, you knew what we were doing. Pervert,” you didn’t even pause, not even when you could picture volcanos erupting out of rage within Sam.

“Get out!” Sam yelled.

“Sam, no!” Tara protested.

You could feel vein popping on your forehead as you stepped forward, closer to Sam. “Now listen here, the only person that can tell me if I’m going to pleasure my girlfriend,” you whipped your arm back and pointed at Tara. “Is my girlfriend,” you didn’t even sneak in! You arrived with Chad and Mindy, and you made it clear to Sam, both you and Tara, by the way, that you’d be staying the night and furthermore, that you’d spend it in Tara’s room. What did she think you would do?! Play card games?! None of this would be happening if Sam allowed Tara to at least every now and then sleep at your apartment, but no, she did not want to risk it and sneaking out was getting more difficult.

At least she didn’t think you’d hurt Tara. She knew you’d never become a Ghostface.

“I do not need to know my sister is,” she paused, visibly shivering at the thought and you understood, well, at least that part. “You were being loud,” she eventually said.

“She moaned louder once!” you exclaimed. And even then, it wasn’t too loud. Sam must have gone to the bathroom or something, because there was no way she could have heard it from her room.

“Sorry for feeling good. Guess I can’t have that either,” Tara looked away with a pout and you saw a tiny hint of guilt and regret in Sam’s eyes. “And we’ve been together for almost half a year…” she added, you and Tara got together about four months after she was attacked and your dad got killed.

“I’m just going to go now,” Sam sighed, and you closed the doors behind her, you could tell she was still fairly pissed off, but there was no point in continuing the conversation.

You went back to bed and groaned, covering your face with your palms. "Damn, that was embarrassing!" you complained, your ability to stay composed and collected vanishing the moment Sam was out the doors.

"Tell me about it," Tara groaned, leaning against you in equal state of distress.

You just pulled Tara into a hug, which she gladly accepted. She was much more embarrassed than you, after all you got caught by Sam, not by your mom. Hell, your mom probably wouldn't even make a fuss about it, just tease you in the morning. Not that she'd ever get the chance to do so, since you had your own apartment because it was closer to university and you needed your independence.

“I’m horny, and frustrated, and not in the mood, and I feel robbed, all at the same time,” she whined, her frustration more than a little clear in her voice, and the way she hugged you. Her hold on you was tight, like it often was when she felt intense emotions and could cling to you to ground herself. It’s been like that when you were younger, when you got closer, and it’s been even more prominent since the attack, since Amber killed your dad. Back then Tara clung to you, begging for forgiveness. In your mind there was nothing to forgive, she didn’t stab him, she didn’t kill him, your dad was being the hero that he always was in your eyes.

You kissed the top of her head. Hoping to reassure her and bring her some comfort, and it worked, as she snuggled closer to you and relaxed. You spent several minutes like that, for a moment you even thought Tara fell asleep. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time she fell asleep in your arms.

You were wrong though, as she suddenly giggled and you looked down to see her trying to compose herself. ��But still, for someone that just got caught in the middle of having sex, you sure were confident. That’s Gale Weathers’ daughter for you,” Tara teased, and you chuckled uneasily.

“Fake it till you make it?” you shrugged, after all, as far as you were concerned giving in to Sam’s anger would just give her more power. You did not need to know which measures would be necessary to get her to stop interfering if you gave in tonight.

“Mhm, guess I’ll start calling myself Tara Riley?” she was teasing you again! But you still choked on your own spit.

“Yeah, you do that,” you wheezed as she laughed.

[minyard-05]

twinyards timeline but its correct this time

i reworked my original timeline because something was bugging me about it and now it SHOULD be correct

NOTE: some of these dates are approximated from generalizations made in the book– for example, nicky says andrew's letter to aaron arrives two weeks after cass calls tilda. i assume this is an general use of 'two weeks', but i've taken it literally as 14 days, which is why the letter is dated to arrive november 29th. approximated/assumed dates are marked with a *

november 4th, 1986: aaron michael and andrew joseph minyard are born to tilda minyard in san jose, california

november 7th¹*, 1986: tilda gives the twins away to foster care

november 14th*, 1986: tilda returns to the hospital and takes aaron home with her, leaving andrew behind.

november 4th, 1999: aaron and andrew turn 13 years old. aaron lives in san jose with his mother, and andrew lives in oakland with his foster parents cass and richard spear. they are unaware of each other

november 14th², 1999: oakland raiders vs san diego chargers football game at ring central stadium in oakland. aaron and tilda go with one of tilda's boyfriends, and whilst there, aaron is mistaken for andrew by officer phil higgins, who takes tilda's contact information to pass onto andrew's foster mother, hoping to reunite the brothers

november 15th, 1999: cass spear calls tilda to arrange a meet up for aaron and andrew, but tilda refuses, telling cass she wants nothing to do with andrew and to not call her again. aaron hears all of this by listening in on the upstairs phone line, and he and tilda argue.

november 29th* 1999: aaron recieves a letter from andrew that basically says "fuck you, go away."

december 1999: cass writes aaron a letter asking him to try contacting andrew again in the spring, and that holidays are a difficult time at their house

march 2000: andrew goes to juvie for an unspecified offense

may 2000: tilda and aaron move to columbia, south carolina, and aaron meets his cousin nicky hemmick for presumably the first time.

*unspecified time in early-ish 2001³: luther hemmick finds out about andrew and begins a 'years-long' campaign to reunite him with tilda and aaron. i am choosing to place this around april 2001

six months later, approx. october 2001: luther flies to california to meet andrew and his foster family

one month later, november 2001: aaron flies out to 'meet' andrew for the first time at juvie. they have probably just turned 15

march⁴ 2003: andrew makes early parole and is released from juvie. luther makes tilda take him home, and then aaron, andrew, and tilda, finally all live together in columbia

→ sidebar: on the second night living there, andrew makes his deal with aaron

august 2003: aaron and andrew start their junior years at macon high school, andrew's first outside of juvie

early september 2003⁵: tilda mistakes andrew for aaron and hits him. andrew goes to the hemmicks' who call tilda and she takes him home. aaron is actually at a study group standing in for his brother, and on the drive back, andrew orchestrates the car crash that kills his mother

→ nicky hemmick moves back from germany on the day of tilda's funeral, presumably about a week after the crash. he gets a job at sweetie's diner to provide for the twins, eventually becoming their legal guardian⁶

→ not long after, andrew locks aaron in the bathroom to get him clean from the drugs tilda got him addicted to

october* 2003: nicky and the twins start working at eden's twilight

november 4th, 2003: the twins turn 17, their first birthday together

december 2003: nicky is attacked by four homophobes outside eden's. andrew saves him, almost killing the men in the process, and he is arrested

may⁷ 2004: andrew, 17, finishing his junior year of high school, is put on trial for what he did and sentenced. his parole agreement includes court-mandated therapy and mood altering drugs that he is scheduled to be on for 3 years

august 2004: andrew and aaron begin their senior year at macon high school

february⁸ 2005: kevin day and riko moriyama offer andrew a contract to play with the edgar allan ravens, which he refuses. kevin and riko travel to south carolina to find out why, where andrew refuses again and he and aaron play a scrimmage with kevin on the court

march 2005: david wymack meets with the twins and nicky at subway, and gives the three of them contracts to sign with the palmetto state foxes, which they do

june 2005: aaron, andrew, and nicky finally join the lineup for the PSU foxes

---

notes/citations under the cut

1) guesstimate based on when i think it's legal to give children to foster care. i assume its not that long after birth, and i believe the twins had to spend time in the ICU beforehand as well. the 14th is an approximation based on the fact that nicky says tilda went back for aaron after a week

2) raiders v chargers was an actual football game that took place in oakland 10 days after aaron's 13th birthday and therefore works out perfectly for the timeline thank youu nora

3) nicky says this in the start of the raven king, october 2006:

4) he went to juvie in march 2000 so i'm assuming his 3 year sentence just works out linearly like that

5) approximated from being about 5 months after andrew moves to columbia

6) while he DOES do this it's probably a very long process so i assume its ongoing as other events in the timeline happen

7) this is just me counting backwards because andrew is SUPPOSED to come off his drugs in may 2007 (obviously he doesn't) and so once again i assume the 3 year time period is linear or nothing else works

8) i'm saying february for this for two reasons: 1) i'm completely guessing when college teams recruit athletes 2) in the EC aaron describes the drive home as being darker earlier in the evening, so late winter feels about right

[mecachrome]

pre-mclaren oscar piastri primer (ft. maxf, landoscar)

0. introduction

for a few months now i've been wanting to make both an oscar primer and a timeline of pre-mclaren landoscar moments, but i couldn't figure out which one to prioritize… then after some deliberation i finally realized i could just combine the two things together! so. here is an oscar-centric timeline that is mainly about his racing background, moving to the uk, and how he became acquainted with other members of the rfm pack—aka lando, maxf, and logan. i don't know whether any of this information is useful or even vaguely interesting, but i mostly just wrote it for myself and thought i'd share what i had in case anyone else wanted to check it out. please feel free to comment or shoot me an ask if anything here is egregiously incorrect; i've checked and linked as many sources as i could but it's of course possible that some errors remain :)

1. background, rc racing, early karting days (2007-2015)

oscar piastri was born on april 6, 2001 in brighton east, a suburb of melbourne not far from albert park circuit, as the son of chris and nicole and to-be oldest brother to 3 younger sisters. a love for all things automotive ran deep in the piastri family: both of his grandfathers were mechanics and his father had also co-founded his own vehicle diagnostics software company, hp tuners, aka oscar's sponsor throughout his racing career. thanks to his father's business, oscar's family was objectively well-off and managed to contribute a fairly substantial amount of support toward his junior career, but they also weren't swimming in cash by multi-millionaire motorsport standards either.

(L-R) edie, mae, hattie, and oscar, from nicole's twitter — each sibling is ~2 years apart (source)

while most drivers on the current grid were introduced to motorsport through go-karting, usually at or before the age of 7, oscar's path to single-seaters differed slightly. he first developed an interest in racing via remote-controlled cars at the age of 6, when his father brought him a monster truck as a souvenir back from a business trip in america. oscar began racing them that same year, eventually moving to safer electric track vehicles and even winning the second class of the national titles in 2010, at the age of 9. he was so small then that he often needed to stand on a milk crate to see the cars on track, and the next-youngest competitor at the time was twice his age. (source)

oscar on the podium at age 8 (nov 16, 2009)

oscar with his father chris, who often competed alongside him in a separate class (dec 21, 2010)

by 2011, oscar and his father were seriously considering his potential of pursuing rc racing as a viable career path, but things changed when he was introduced to karting via a friend's daughter in the rc community and his aspirations slowly shifted toward racing from inside a car. oscar was an unsurprisingly sporty and competitive child growing up; he'd played some cricket and aussie rules football and knew that all he wanted to do was race professionally, full-stop, at the time thinking along the lines of australian racing categories like v8 supercars. he was still competing in remote car racing as late as 2013, but he began karting seriously within australia in 2014, placing respectably in the junior categories of several regional karting series against relatively senior and more-experienced racers, and even going to france for a one-off event where he finished on the podium of the iame international junior x30 final. this outing affirmed his potential to his father and motivated the two of them to split time between australia and europe in 2015 as they juggled his karting future; plans for two more european events that year fell through, including the cik-fia world championship at the kfj level (which logan sargeant would go on to win), but at this point they were officially looking to take his career to the next level and commit fully to european karting in 2016.

this is when ricky flynn (and the hypothetical idea of lando norris!!!) comes in. before we get into rfm and karting professionally in europe, it's important to note that the defining aspect of landoscar's junior careers is that their pathways never once intersected. in fact, they don't even seem to have met properly before oscar entered the f1 grid as alpine reserve, although they'd spoken over social media and oscar was familiar with several people around lando's life—for example, maxf, logan, guanyu, and even lando's older brother oliver, who had also raced for rfm.

in short, you could say that landoscar's biggest hindrance was their parallel excellence. oscar was good enough to catch up and even surpass everyone else at lando's level, but lando remained untouchable throughout the years. oscar is only 1.5 years younger than him, but their f1 careers are offset by 4 years (2019 vs. 2023 debut) because of exactly two things: oscar's 2022 gap year in alpine and his two attempts at formula renault eurocup. on the other hand, lando sped through all of his junior categories in blistering fashion, falling short of the championship only once: the year he placed 2nd in f2 behind george russell. this is significant because many talk about the clinical nature of oscar's rapid single-seater ascension and three b2b2b victories (still very impressive, especially given his limited karting career!), but all of that speaks equally to the illustrious nature of lando's junior success and the sheer magnitude of faith placed in him as mclaren's "golden boy" coming up the ranks. to put things into further perspective, lando was teammates with maxf and jehan daruvala at rfm until 2014, jehan competing in the same class and max one below, yet by the time oscar was racing max and jehan—in f3 in 2020 and f2 in 2021, respectively—lando was already into his 2nd and 3rd years of f1. here's a chart that hopefully makes a bit more sense:

majorly simplified timeline showing lando, guanyu, maxf, logan, and oscar's junior careers + the karting classes they primarily competed in each calendar year. maxf did not complete his 2nd f3 season and many of them contested multiple/different formula renault series, but this is just a rough overview of their feeder series experience. 

2. moving to europe, rfm, regional formulae (2016-2019)

back in australia, oscar was a member of the oakleigh go-kart racing club and being actively mentored by james sera, a multi-time australian karting champion and fa kart dealer who worked with young karting talents alongside his cousin david. in late-2015, he presumably helped oscar and his father reach out to ricky flynn, who ran ricky flynn motorsport (rfm) and whose team was at the time enjoying exorbitant success in the karting scene; lando had won the world championship at the kf level the year prior, and logan would soon clinch the kfj title in 2015, results which further drew oscar's interest toward the team. ricky flynn agreed to take oscar on and have him and his dad move out to europe, and by november 2015 oscar announced on social media that he would be joining rfm the next year. in january of 2016, he and his father moved to hertford, uk, so that oscar could begin a 100-day karting program and travel extensively around europe to attend races. this is where he met logan sargeant, who was in his final year on the team but competing a class above, now at the ok (previously kf) level. oscar himself was only competing in the okj class.

not oscar-related, but as you can see guanyu, logan, and maxf were already acquainted before oscar and logan met, since the three of them and lando had been in rfm together as of 2014 — (may 11, 2014) & (feb 6, 2015)

oscar and logan in 2016

in an interview published on june 7, 2023, oscar reflected on leaving australia and committing to his racing dream, saying:

"i think if there was a turning point, it was probably when i started finishing towards the front in australia, and i started winning a couple of races here and there and finishing in the top three of championships and stuff, and then went to europe and fully committed to going down that route. [...] there's obviously a very big commitment at that point when you move halfway across the world without family and stuff. so i knew at that point that i really wanted to become a professional because, firstly, that's what i want to do anyway, but, secondly, now i'm sacrificing seeing my family, and stuff like that to be able to do this — which was a sacrifice i was more than willing to make."

like the majority of oscar's karting career, his time with ricky flynn can primarily be summarized as decent. none of his performances were particularly stellar, and in november 2016 he placed 6th in the fia world championship final behind the likes of victor martins and théo pourchaire (he mainly competed against guys like them, dennis hauger, caio collet, etc… once again logan was a class above and lando/maxf had already graduated to single-seaters), but he showed promising racing foundations and a great capacity for improvement, especially given that he'd moved to europe the same year and was still adjusting to life and racing on the opposite hemisphere. about 6 months into his new karting venture, oscar had settled in reasonably well and his father decided he would return to australia to continue on with his life, so they made the joint decision that oscar was to begin boarding at haileybury's uk campus and continue racing in europe entirely on his own. uk and australian school years are misaligned, so my personal understanding is he moved to europe after finishing year 9 in australia, attempted online school/took a few months off (he says he did online coursework here, but mentioned here that he was out of school, so it sounds like it must have been a very half-hearted effort…), came back to australia over the uk summer to do some more karting, then began boarding in september 2016 as a year 10 student. he spent ~4 years there and eventually received his a-levels in 2020, except his final year was disrupted by covid and he never sat his exams. (blog post mentioning his a-levels + btg transcript excerpt about his exams; his website says he attended haileybury from 2016-19, but i think this mainly encapsulates his boarding period, as he was still doing remote work in april 2020.)

oscar in f4 with his gcse revision guide, 📸 sebastiaan rozendaal (may 20, 2018)

2016 is also when oscar began his well-documented super-liking of several of lando's social media profiles. i think understanding oscar's time in rfm and his extremely british single-seater origins helps better paint his history with lando and maxf; my personal understanding of pre-mclaren landoscar is that while oscar never formally met lando or maxf during his karting days, he knew of them quite well through rfm and thus followed them on instagram/twitter after moving to the uk. of course, oscar has a fairly active social media presence in general, so young oscar quietly liked instagram posts and tweets from many different people, but i do feel compelled to note that in the early days he liked lando, maxf, and logan's posts with seriously impressive frequency compared to anyone else on the grid (or anyone in general, really); after creating his twitter account in may 2016, some of the very first tweets oscar liked were from maxf, and he also liked a multitude of mundane lando tweets from 2016 until… today, while on the other hand he didn't start liking george's tweets—another similarly-aged young british talent—until late 2017. (he does have some fun george-admiring moments though, but that can wait for another time!) outside of rfm, other people oscar was familiar with during his early racing years were british f4 teammate ayrton simmons, to-be series champion jamie caroline, and old australian karting friend christian pancione, who appears to still be one of his best mates (if not his best) as of today. fun fact is that christian raced for the carrera cup as a support event to the australian gp in 2023; here's oscar allegedly checking the quali live timing at lunch during his own media day. 

so, to conclude, oscar's early lando focus basically traces back to the motorsport path he took at the behest and guidance of his early rfm connections in the uk. the thing is that despite growing up in australia and vaguely admiring several aussie drivers in f1 as a child (read: mark webber and eventually daniel ricciardo), oscar has never had a specific driver he consistently mentions when pressed for his racing "idol," likely since his personality inherently resists idolatry and he instead views successful people more as actionable benchmarks or reference points for self-improvement rather than as unattainable paragons of accomplishment. as a kid forced to grow up almost entirely on his own, the majority of his racing aspirations were molded independently in the uk—he completed his karting career in the uk, boarded at haileybury for 4 years (fun fact: other drivers to attend include jehan, callum ilott, and clément novalak; callum was a few years above oscar and finished school in 2017, but the two would later become quite talkative over social media anyway), raced in british f4, became a brdc member, contested eurocup under a british license and therefore had the british flag raised and british national anthem played during his wins, stayed in the uk even at alpine since the factory is based in enstone, etc. oscar basically moved to the uk from australia without having really met anyone significant in the racing scene (other than jack doohan, or more importantly jack's father mick, but jack is younger and did an extra year of karting) and pretty much didn't have anyone specific to "look up to" at the time. oscar's first acknowledgement of lando's online existence was in december 2015, when he liked one of lando's instagram posts prior to moving to england, so it can be assumed that lando basically functioned as his most accessible reference point in the junior ladder as a 14 year old dipping his toes into the european racing scene for the first time. that is my highly subjective analysis of the situation!

select quotes re: oscar's inconsistent responses to his motorsport "hero" (or his favorite driver / a driver he looks up to in general):

(f1fs; mar 9, 2022) "i started watching f1 in… 2009 was the first season i properly watched. so when brawn came in, obviously mark was the only aussie on the grid at that point, so i was kind of naturally going for him. then joined by daniel, so obviously going to support the aussies, but i think watching lewis has been nothing short of spectacular, and a very good role model. [...] i think when i was first watching, i supported mark, but, you know, and i hope he takes no offense to this—vettel was winning everything at that point. so i was supporting mark, but vettel was doing most of the winning. i think now that i understand more about racing though, i would say [the driver i look up to the most is] lewis, mainly. the way he goes about things on and off the track is quite exceptional."

(mcl youtube; mar 29, 2023) sporting idols mentioned: ayrton senna, alain prost, michael jordan (see also ultimate athletes list)

(p1; aug 10, 2023) "i would say i never had like one specific idol. when i was growing up watching mark webber was at red bull, and obviously being australian, red bull being very quick at the time, i kind of naturally followed him. i mean—even like some of the guys in the junior ranks above me. like lando was always kind of two, three years above me, winning… most things on his way up. so i guess kind of him in some ways?"

(eff won; dec 4, 2023) "i don’t really have like one specific [idol]. i think what lewis has been able to do in terms of getting to seven world championships was incredibly impressive. i think what max is doing now is also very impressive…" 

the first lando post oscar liked on instagram (dec 21, 2015)

the first maxf posts oscar liked; instagram (feb 26, 2016) & twitter (may 9, 2016)

anyway, back to british f4! despite his initially unconventional foray into motorsport, oscar's journey progressed in a much more orderly fashion once he stepped up to single-seaters. his actual debut was in f4 uae, which he ran 3 rounds of between 2016 and 2017 (another fun fact: this is where he briefly acquainted himself with mclaren indycar driver david malukas, who would later recall him being very intelligent and whom zak brown allegedly spoke to oscar about before appointing to their indy team). after cutting his teeth on actual car-racing for the first time, oscar decided against moving up to the ok class as he felt confident in his ability to be competitive in single-seaters. his first full season was therefore the 2017 british f4 championship, during which oscar signed with arden while logan went to reigning champions carlin (lando had won with them in 2015, then maxf in 2016). oscar made his way to the top step 6 times in the season and placed just barely above logan for 2nd in the championship, finishing behind the considerably more experienced jamie caroline. arden was also founded and is currently owned by red bull team principal christian horner, so it was during oscar's time there that christian took note of and interest in his talent; oscar reportedly did a few runs in the red bull simulator but was passed over for joining the academy, which christian later voiced regret on. (source)

maxf, logan (center), and oscar (to max's right) on a day maxf was visiting the 2017 british f4 grid (april 11, 2017)

linus lundqvist, oscar, and logan on the podium at snetterton (jul 30, 2017)

jamie and oscar, who were… er, mathematically in the main championship fight. for some reason they made them take these photos (sep 30, 2017)

after a successful f4 outing with arden, oscar returned to the team for his first season of formula renault eurocup in 2018, a renault series that ran in its specific configuration until 2020 before merging with the parallel regional series frec to become what is today known as freca. this season proved to be less competitive for oscar, as arden was relatively inexperienced in this series and oscar's three teammates were afflicted with what can colloquially be referred to as a "skill issue," making it difficult to collectively develop the car throughout the season. (blog interview) the series was thus returning driver maxf's to lose, who at the time was racing for reigning champs r-ace with teammates that included oscar's fellow rookies logan and victor martins.

despite the unideal environment, oscar managed to prove his worth by placing a respectable 8th in the series, scoring 110 points as a rookie driver and capping the season off with 3 podiums and a top-finish of 2nd place—a jarring contrast to his teammates' joint total of 12 points. this result attracted the attention of r-ace and granted him a seat with them for the 2019 season, at which point maxf and logan both graduated to f3. thankfully that wasn't too much of a concern for oscar since he'd always intended to do two seasons of eurocup, and now he finally had a chance to win the first serious championship of his racing career with an established racing outfit.

oscar, max, and yifei ye on the hockenheim r2 podium (sep 23, 2018) [full gifset]

oscar's second season of eurocup is when he truly started proving himself as a driver, or at least to the people whose names, money, and opinions mattered around the paddock. his main competition in 2019 was again victor, who was now racing for mp and had been made a member of the renault sport academy back in 2018 after a strong performance in french f4. despite a close title fight, oscar managed to hold him off for the championship in the final race of the season, kicking off what would soon become an impressive string of consecutive single-seater series titles. even sweeter was the fact that all eurocup champions were awarded a renault sport academy spot that could be left or taken as they pleased, and of course—while the finances weren't nearly as impressive as alpine would later proclaim in their baseless smear campaign—oscar's connections in the racing world were limited as an australian driver almost exclusively managed by his father, so he gladly accepted the offer for the many venues of support renault presented to him.

see also: bby oscar briefly mentioning lando after winning eurocup in 2019 (@ 1:10)

oscar being lifted by his team (r-ace) after placing 4th in the abu dhabi finale and winning the title by 7.5 points

3. renault sport academy, lockdown, f3 (2020)

many things happened in 2020. one: oscar became an official member of the renault sport academy, joining the likes of max (who'd been picked up on merit after winning british f4 in 2017), guanyu, christian lundgaard, caio collett, and fellow new recruit hadrien david (victor had been strategically demoted after oscar's win because renault is a notoriously unserious organization, but again this is not the post). two: by the time oscar was ready for f3, moving up the ladder proved to be exorbitantly expensive, and he realized he needed better funds and managerial support to sort his career out. he'd been offered a spot in prema's f3 team by team-owner rené rosin at the end of his eurocup season, who'd named him for the post-season test before the championship was over and stressed that the spot was his no matter where he finished. (source) prema is unquestionably one of the top—if not frequently the top—teams one can drive for in most junior series (though there is also somewhat of a self-selection bias; if you ask oscar he is not a significant beneficiary of prematax!), having absolutely demolished the f3 competition that same year and achieved a clean sweep of the drivers' standings with rob shwartzman, marcus armstrong, and jehan at 1-2-3 consecutively. oscar completed post-season testing with them in spain alongside to-be teammates logan and fred vesti in october (source), before confirming on jan 26, 2020 that he would be joining them for the f3 season as a renault junior.

so, where does mark webber come in here? apparently mark's trainer from red bull and wec had also been oscar's trainer since 2016 (i'm pretty sure this is australian physiologist simon sostaric), and it was through their joint connection that oscar was introduced to mark. according to mclaren's 2023 season preview, "the pair hit it off, and webber took his countryman under his wing," signing oscar to jam sports management, aka the management agency he runs with his wife ann. mark's support would become a major factor in helping oscar progress through the feeder ranks and establish himself in f1, mainly because he had actual connections and could help oscar network with sponsors and negotiate his way during future signings. of course, more on this later.

as an aside, here are a few things mark has said about oscar:

"he’s got that white line fever when he puts his helmet on and turns into a different character, which is sensational." (mar 1, 2020)

"one of oscar’s biggest strengths by a mile, compared to everyone he is competing against — and this will be a huge string to his bow when he makes it to f1 — is his composure. he has immense levels of composure. [...] if you are weak mentally you won’t make it. he was on his own from an early age. he did brilliantly with his studies. but the racing disease would not go away, he wants it very much." (sydney morning herald; dec 11, 2021)

"he’s a prost, mate. he’s such a thinker and so calm. at first i thought i needed to inject a bit of urgency in him, but actually no, he’s got his own frequency. that’s just where he is." (the race; oct 7, 2023)

estimates provided by chris piastri on the cost of oscar's junior career, stressing the million-dollar commitments of running a single season of f3 or f2 (source)

anyway, back to the chaotic events of 2020. i think something that's good to keep in mind when discussing oscar's time in the renault sport academy is that he was actually a relatively new recruit, as in he only participated in a single training camp with the other juniors in 2020 and most of them (max, christian, guanyu, the temporary ghost of victor) already knew each other before. oscar essentially met with renault's factory team in early 2020, filmed promotional material with other juniors in january before attending the season opener together in february and then heading to winter training camp later that month, after which he and max left early for f3 pre-season testing in bahrain on march 1—a blessing in disguise, seeing as caio, hadrien, and christian remained behind and would soon be stuck quaranting in a hotel in tenerife—then briefly spent a week at school before returning home for what was meant to be a quick pit stop at the australian gp, which at the time had yet to be canceled.

then, of course, lockdown happened.

simplified breakdown of renault junior stints, notably showcasing the academy's struggles to meaningfully promote any of its juniors

oscar at the 2020 renault season opener alongside then-academy director mia sharizman, then-tp cyril abiteboul, alain prost, f1 drivers esteban ocon and daniel ricciardo, and the other academy juniors: fewtrell, lundgaard, zhou, david (feb 12, 2020)

oscar and maxf behind the scenes of the same event (feb 12, 2020)

stuck in australia for three months, oscar would end up participating in two fia virtual races, one for f2 and another for f1 (jun 7, 2020). a fun landoscar tidbit is that he finished 5th in the virtual gp right behind lando, so they technically had raced each other before 2023, depending on... well, whether you count a 2020 sim race wherein george russell and alex albon lead the pack as a real race. nevertheless, this was a time when drivers were becoming much more active online, seeing as streaming was the best way to keep their images relevant and connect with fans, and despite oscar expressing little interest in streaming on twitch he would still experience a considerable uptick in his online activity and twitter reach that year.

racing resumed on july 4 at the red bull ring in austria; oscar had been granted an exemption to travel to the uk and complete a 2-week quarantine back on may 27, a reassuring indicator to the motorsport world that the f3 season would run after all. now that he no longer had to attend school, having received 2 b's and 1 c for his maths, physics, and computer science a-levels, oscar relocated from hertford to oxford in june to be near the renault facilities, which he visited nearly every day to train at, and began living independently (as in in a flat) for the first time since 2016, rooming with fellow renault junior caio collet.

as i said before, this season is when oscar's online presence and "memeability" began to really conceptualize, enabled primarily by the fact that he was a) finally living outside of a school dormitory, and b) now, of course, signed at prema, a team notorious for its social media visibility, literal family atmosphere, and frequent youtube pandering. according to this f3 article, his twitter followers jumped from 795 at the start of the season to 11.6k by the time he won the championship, an audience built significantly off the self-deprecating string of jokes he used to tweet regarding drs and general reliability issues faced throughout the season.

what i guess i want to touch on here is how oscar's online presence has always been concentrated around the bare fundamentals of his personality: dry humor, candid words, sparing emojis, a few humorous photos detailing the mundane reality of his everyday routines, and at most the occasional inopportune meme or reaction gif (#thepiastri 🤷‍♂️, f2 in baku, jetpack guy, so on). he's bantered frequently with callum on twitter and near-obsessively liked memes, videos, and other updates lando shares with his audience, but he also has seemingly little interest in building up his own "brand" the way lando so smartly has with ln4 and quadrant, and quite frankly seems viscerally incapable of wanting to engage one-to-one with fans or otherwise leveraging the popularity of his material image. basically what i like to say is that oscar enjoys being adjacent to "lad humor" and will happily enable it, but he really has no interest in being the one to initiate it himself!

"there's some things you want to share, some things you don’t. in today's age and sort of having the profile that us drivers do, we kind of just have everything shared,” piastri said. “but (social media) can be used for good, certainly within the profiles that we have. but in some ways, it can be negative, and there's always going to be people out there that don't like you for being you.” piastri tries to write as many of his posts as possible, and he checks those written by his team to be sure they sound authentically him. (the athletic; jun 29, 2023)

along these lines, oscar does enjoy the spotlight, only he seems to prefer it concentrated in a specific lens toward a specific productive end. he's endlessly capable of seeing the objective upside of a situation, joking after he was made a meme in baku following his f2 sr1 collision that he was all for it if it got him popularity. after his eurocup championship he also said: "i think everyone loves a bit of spotlight on them. i think that's just human nature, so a bit of attention's always nice." which is interesting to me!

but back to racing. this season would unexpectedly become two things: maxf's last competitive season in motorsport—especially disappointing considering that he'd gone into the championship expecting to put on a second-season title charge, instead failing to gel with the hitech team to the point that each increasingly poor weekend made him spiral mentally—as well as oscar and logan's last season racing against each other before f1, since logan would later encounter financial difficulties that left him stranded in f3 as oscar catapulted himself to f2 victory. 2020 was obviously a weird season in general because of covid and the gap from pre-season testing, so it also meant that oscar had gone into the season fairly rusty; he managed to win the first race of the season, but on top of his drs rollercoaster he did struggle with middling results in qualifying and was met step-by-step throughout the championship by logan.

maxf's last race in f3 was the barcelona sprint race on august 16, with three rounds left to the end of the season. he dnfed in an unfortunate first-lap incident mere moments after oscar charged his way up from 5th on the grid to the front of the pack, where he would eventually breeze his way to victory and pull himself near-level with logan for the championship lead. i recognize that this is an oscar post and not a maxf post, but i think their time in f3 during an extremely isolated and covid-affected period speaks to both an interesting dynamic between them (the little kid who always lagged a series behind you suddenly beating you on merit) and their respective temperaments toward racing. while at renault, max reportedly lived with jack aitken during the week but would return to his family home on weekends, so it makes sense that he struggled to adapt when covid hit and drivers were collectively forced into very regimented sporting bubbles. mark webber, who worked for channel 4 as a commentator and had access to the f1 paddock, basically couldn't see oscar in person and instead spoke to him over the phone every day on race weekends. maxf said of his decision to quit:

"normally [...] i’m able to stay calm under pressure and i don’t let many things get to me but when you have a bad qualifying result and you see guys up there that you know you’re capable of beating, it definitely takes a dig at you inside and it’s been a lot to process throughout the year." (source)

while then-academy director mia sharizman, who worked closely with the renault juniors, spoke of oscar's inherent propensity for independence and how he adapted well to the pressures of living on his own:

"if you look at oscar piastri, he has been living on his own, [away] from his family who are in melbourne for the past five to six years. because he has been living on his own in boarding school, he learns how to live on his own, and he thrives in that. we have to force him... 'have you spoken to your father?!' it's just things like that, but he thrives in that. that's why he thrived in those weekends racing. he loves being on his own without anybody. on the other hand, we had max fewtrell, for example, who can't – he couldn't survive the 11 weekends racing, because he always needed his family to be around him. so those are the things that suddenly you see and, i think that that we see now, after a few years a driver who is quick, a driver who has the talent, and then the driver who is stable." (source)

2020 is also when lando and oscar spoke to each other on twitter for the first time. yay! after lando went semi-viral for having a meltdown over a hornet on three separate social media platforms, oscar first joked with him about it on august 24 (this was incidentally also the day maxf announced his functional retirement, which oscar liked as well 😭), before referencing the incident again a few weeks later in september.

(aug 24, 2020) / (sep 10, 2020)

outside of drs tweets and trying desperately to banter with lando norris, oscar's popular tweets at the time included several food-related mishaps and home appliance tragedies. while this isn't actually a lando moment, he was also slandered by the LN4 twitter account a month later on october 17 for reasons that remain a mystery, resulting in this set of interactions:

(oct 17, 2020) / (oct 19, 2020)

bonus: maxf's tweets @ oscar (when you aren't close enough to just text him.......)

but back to f3. similarly to his second season of eurocup, oscar would go on to clinch the title in only the final race of the year, this time even more stressfully—he never got pole that season and won arguably off of consistency, benefiting from errors and unfortunate collisions involving his primary competitors. after a hectic qualifying and string of contentious grid penalties set for the before-last round in monza, he began the feature race 15th on the grid but put on an impressive performance to finish on the podium, buffing his points lead after logan was tapped by clément and put out of the points. he, logan, and fred all dnfed in race 2 (read: the novalak pendulum swung away from oscar's favor to maintain stringent cosmic equilibrium, while logan and fred threw away a points opportunity with a teammate4teammate love tap), and oscar went into mugello with only an 8-point lead over logan and a 24-point lead over pourchaire. this weekend proved equally hectic, as is frequently the case with f3 racing standards, but in short oscar and logan entered the final sprint race level on points, with théo approaching terrifyingly near in their rearview mirrors. logan was unceremoniously taken out of contention on the first lap after contact with zendeli, and oscar managed to squeak his way to 164 points in the championship by placing 7th in the race; théo finished 3rd, with 161 points, two positions away from claiming both the race and the championship title.

a succinct summary of an eventful season! (posted jun 30, 2021)

despite winning the f3 championship in far-from-dominant fashion, oscar's career was now steadily on an upward trend. on october 30 he was rewarded with a private test in the r.s.18 at bahrain alongside christian and guanyu, and a month later confirmed that he would be racing for prema again in f2 (december 1, 2020). as a rookie f3 champion there was a moderate amount of interest in him, but no one really expected him to carry home the f2 title on his first try and so one of the main favorites going into the next season was his second-year teammate and 2019 f3 champion rob shwartzman.

4. f2, alpine reserve duties, #piastrigate (2021-2022)

at the start of 2021, fernando officially took daniel's place at renault and the team rebranded itself as alpine, parting ways with team principal cyril abiteboul and functionally replacing him with new ceo laurent rossi—part of a no-tp management structure, frankly a self-evident infrastructural faux-pas from a million miles away. the renault sport academy was then also renamed to alpine academy; again i know that this is an oscar post so i won't get too into the details of Alpine Being Alpine, but understanding how the academy functioned does help better contextualize the inevitable unfurling of piastrigate.

the main issue, really, would always be laurent rossi, or at least the values laurent rossi had been hired to represent and which he willingly peddled during his controversial tenure at alpine. after rossi's appointment it was reported that "the renamed alpine academy was now being tugged in two directions between director mia sharizman's ideal as a creator of future f1 drivers and alpine's chief executive officer laurent rossi's commercially-led preferences." (source) mia directed the academy from january 2016 until may 2022, and had been the one to restructure its recruitment process by demanding better funding and robust testing programs to cyril:

"when we first restarted the team in 2016, it was, we didn't even have a two-year-old car program at that time. we had to use a 2012 program using the [lotus] e20. [...] then in 2018, i went through it, and i said to cyril abiteboul, "look, let's try and do this." we needed financial resources. i needed a head start with financial resources to kick start the program whereby you entice drivers, and you offer [a place] to the academy drivers. it was more to see how they are... it was more of an evaluation process... that was what the first idea was. then we developed the program to develop the drivers to suit their formual 2 program." (source)

(note: mia also believed that 2020 was a disappointing year for all of his juniors save for oscar's performance in f3, which is a whole other thing. but rossi's greatest shortcoming was that he had singular, insulated vision, and he resisted any external input to the detriment of reactionary business decisions, a fact that alienated alain prost and soon led to his exit from the outfit in 2022. not a good look!!! prost would later call rossi "the best example of the dunning-kruger effect, that of an incapable leader who thinks himself able to overcome his incompetence with his arrogance and lack of humanity toward his troops." 🤌)

so basically, the cracks of mind-boggling incompetence within the team's leadership structure were long evident. on a brighter note, oscar's 2021 f2 season would quickly become his strongest single-seater contest ever (f1 youtube has a good summarizing video of his season, if interested); because of covid, f2 was experimenting with a three-race format this year in which quali set the reverse grid for sr1 and sr1 results then set the reverse grid for sr2, which essentially meant high qualifiers were rewarded for simply maintaining composure in the first sprint and running cleanly in the top 10 in order to secure a favorable grid spot in sr2. oscar adapted well to this format, building off his reputation of smooth, consistent driving on top of slowly improving his qualifying results over the course of the season, finally breaking through with his first feature-race win in monza. 

oscar with mia sharizman

this is also around the time when lando mentioned oscar in official f1 media for the first time, reading off a question about him to daniel in an interview posted in october:

"this one's not even about formula one. it's about oscar piastri. oscar pias-tree! [...] he's been on it this year." — (full video) (oct 1, 2021)

of his own f2 campaign, oscar said:

"i thought that i could challenge for race wins, but i probably wasn't expecting to be so consistently at the front. consistency is something that i’ve had as a trait throughout my career, and i was expecting to be consistent in my results this year — but maybe a bit lower down!" (source)

not only did he end up being consistently at the front, he became virtually unstoppable in the second half of the season. on december 11, oscar clinched the title in abu dhabi with two races to spare, ending the season with 5 consecutive poles and 4 consecutive feature wins, 60.5 points above his previously-favored teammate in the standings. #notbadforashitqualifier!

by now oscar was a hot commodity in the paddock; the only problem was that alpine didn't really care, mainly because rossi had enthusiastically re-signed ocon to a three-year deal in 2021 and held zero intention of actually promoting any of its juniors to one of the race seats, plus the one open spot at alfa romeo had instead gone to guanyu and his considerable financial package (though oscar has always been vocally defensive of guanyu's appointment to his detractors). instead of moving to another series, such as indycar or super formula, oscar recognized that he'd proven everything he needed to prove within the feeder system and opted to remain on the grid as alpine's reserve driver, mainly so that he could embed himself in an f1 team environment and—most crucially—avoid being left "out of sight, out of mind," because once you go to america you usually don't come back.

i'll keep the rest of this post brief since i feel like everyone already knows What Went Down, but a quick highlight for fellow landoscar enjoyers was the 2022 australian gp on april 10, during which oscar accompanied rosanna tennant for the post-race show and awkwardly participated in a chaotic lando & alex interview. as far as i know, this was landoscar's first time interacting on-camera!

o: "i haven't raced either of them, no." l: "not yet!" o: "not yet. hopefully soon." — (full video) (apr 10, 2022)

then silly season started, and everything was thrown into disarray when sebastian vettel announced his imminent retirement and fernando subsequently took his place at aston martin; alpine scrambled to recover from this blindsided move and prematurely promoted oscar to an f1 seat, to which oscar eventually posted The Tweet—claiming he'd never signed a contract with alpine and would not be racing for them in 2023, thus kicking off #piastrigate. or the piasco, or whatever you prefer to call it.

here's a good article that properly summarizes the crb ruling, but tl;dr: mclaren and alpine had come to an agreement back in march to loan oscar to mclaren's stable of reserve drivers after daniel contracted covid; mark webber, who was close to andreas seidl from their time at porsche in wec, quietly negotiated a contract with mclaren for 2023 that oscar would then sign on july 4, which was reportedly initially a reserve deal with an upgrade clause to a full-time drive given a dr buyout; alpine's legal team turned out to be essentially one overworked legal director who mishandled the situation thanks to a lack of organizational support, while a concrete williams deal never actually existed no matter what people continuously allege, and any proprietary right to oscar's services that alpine purported to have for the 2023 season would soon be voided by crb rule on september 2. in other words, they dun goofed.

because tumblr dies when i try to include it in this post, here's a link to a condensed chronological timeline version of this post.

that's it for now. i'm sure you know how the rest goes!!!