#2 on my moms side that I know
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I had to delete and reblog again to change my answer … tumblr please let us at least edit the tags and replies to polls 😭😭
Poll because I'm curious:
I ask for the "roots" because of this idea that in some "cultures" families are very big, and in other "cultures" they tend to be small, and I want to know to what degree this applies to cousins 😄
#5+#I know 5#I know there are more from my moms eldest sister but she’s in Australia so I literally just do not know that part of my family#3 on my dads side. one of which is adoptive and he superceded me as the youngest#(adoption is important to my dads direct family because nana was adopted)#2 on my moms side that I know#I’m not as close to my moms side in general. mostly because they’re all a lot older than my dads side#I’m English#live in America though so I’m not nearly as close to my extended family as a lot of other people because they’re all in other countries#German grandmother tho lol
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Can someone who is NOT a zionist tell me why Jewish people have so much conspiracy and hate? when did it start and why? how and why did it spread?
Preferably someone who is jewish or really knows what theyre talking about answer
#it might be silly to ask#but i see all these conspiracies like from every angle and its been going on for so long like#why!#how does it spread#like was it one guy who made another guy mad and you can pinpoint exactly when antisimetism conspiracies started#or is it bc religion?#or did it happen in 2 totally unconnected places? but how would it spread#im sorry im really high rn and i read that post#and like i know of the stuff said. not all tho i learned something new#but i realize i dont know why#like whats it mean that im ashkenazi dna on my moms side#maybe thats seperate convo idk#it really hittjn#hope it all make sense#oh shit i forgot to write tags#jewish#jewblr#jumblr#antisemitism#history#ashkenazi#question
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well, guess who lost control of my hands again and was compelled to scribble down designs for ANOTHER Deltarune AU? yeah. me. it doesn't really have a proper name yet so I've just been calling it Changeling AU for now, I'll figure that out later.
these would be the cast's dark world designs; they parallel early Deltarune concepts in which the lightners would turn into monsters in the dark world-- with a few medieval fantasy fae-flavored twists this time around. mortals become a variety of magical beasts in the fae's dark realm, with only 'Kris' strangely unaffected... aside from the hue shift and conspicuously pointed ears, that is.
the main 'Kris' of this AU isn't the only human in town. instead, they're ironically the only one in town who ISN'T human, though not even they know it yet. in reality they're a Changeling, a fae creature that was left as a 'gift' to replace a taken human child. they can do things, strange things. animals come to them in the night, and the cool touch of iron burns their skin. they're afraid of what they see in the mirror; human eyes don't gleam in the dark, and their teeth shouldn't be so sharp. so they hide their features, and they ignore the whispers of the townsfolk, and they keep their head down.
they made a mistake, a terrible one... and they need to set it right.
meanwhile, the human they replaced is still out there somewhere in the fae world, twisted by its curse into a cornered, desperate beast seeking any escape from the realm that has held them prisoner all their life. it's said that when the full moon casts deep shadows over the woods, you can still hear their anguished howls in the dark begging for the name that once was theirs. they can never leave the dark world without it. they'd do anything to get it back.
all they've ever really wanted was to find their way home.
#deltarune#deltarune AU#kris dreemurr#noelle holiday#susie deltarune#berdly#ralsei#my art#Changeling AU#oh i have a LOT of thoughts for this AU but it'll probably still be more of a side project compared to my other 2 AUs#i genuinely just HAD to throw this concept down or i was gonna actually explode. now i can go back to Dog HDJDHD#i know i'll revisit this in the future tho because there's so much to do with it. i have SO many plot beats for it already. man#the dog monster is actually not as scary as they seem. they're just a REALLY traumatized kid that thinks the Changeling is evil#it's a very unfortunate misunderstanding that almost ends in a kid losing their face to a very angry wolf monster! whoops!#the kids are NOT okay in this AU. sorry#tho the funniest part is that it's such a tragic AU and yet it still ends in a freakin' found family trope SOMEHOW. wack.#changeling kris coming home at the end: hey mom if you could adopt me a second time would you do it#toriel confused as heck: well... yes of course i would. why? is something on your mind my child?#kris hiding a second kris behind their back: uh. about that
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#my mom really has a thing for siding with people who have in some ways hurt me???????????#1st the cousin who should never be named. and now... remember the one who was my best friend?#and left the country without telling me and I had to find out because her brother told my mom?#(weeks after my mom told me she was not my best friend actually? this is another drama omg)#well girl just showed up in my place and now I can't leave my room until she leaves. because I refuse to talk to her#but my mom suddenly loves her (she didn't love her before. she couldn't stand her even) and won't let her go#mother of the century right?#really want to know who the hell I was in a previous life because I was punished in this one by 1) being born in this country#2) having this mother. holy shit I must have been a serious monster#random#personal#my shitty English#all of this with a headache. woohoo!
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Am I the only one being so happy about Missa's mom (aka La Catrina ? ) being canonised in his last stream ?? It means that Chayanne is not protected by only one but 2 deities !!
#Idk but knowing that missa side of the family is also looking after them is warming my heart sm#It was so cute when he said that his mom follows what chayanne does a lot#I love theemm#question mark to La Catrina cause if we go that path it means that there is 2 godesses of death in this univers ?#I'm sure we can make it works#but another day#Also to be clear he didn't say that his mom was La Catrina it's just most people draw her as such#and its a pretty cool hc since missa is often portrayed as some sort of reaper#but yeah he just said his mom followed what chayanne did on social media sfkssf#chayanne the egg#qsmp chayanne#missasinfonia#qsmp#qsmp spoilers#mangle rambles
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randomstuff ,
#yaerrr#walking in circles and u place an object in front of me and i keep walking in place until i gradulally slide 2 rthe side#and keep walking in circles#lg doodles#gore tw#4 tha knives thts like bleeding exploded all overrt the place.#also im so emrbarrassed abt the trolls art but u litearlly.. listen. 2 me. look me in the eyes.........right.. okay. :-)#also all the obv pinterest picz. everyone point at the pose refs#nd my kitchen bc i literally never draw rooms or objects.like ebver and its such a bad habit.but i smeared the pen w#a napkin and i lkind of like how fuzzy and wobbly it is#DOROHEDOROSSSS.and a gkrkg i actually dknt know the acronym srey#& thn painting of my moms kat <3 luv n light
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#well I just submitted my essay for my history class so I'm finally done with finals#I wish I felt happier or relieved or something but I don't. I feel awful. my body hurts from the incredible amount of tension/anxiety I had#trying to finish it before 11:59. I submitted it at 11:55. I have never come that close before and I hate it#the amount of anxiety I had you'd think the deadline was hunting me for sport#and what's worse is I felt all this anxiety and put all this work into it and I'm not even happy about it#I spent two days trying to figure out what he wanted us to write about because apparently he just seems to be really bad at instructions#like I thought maybe it was just me overthinking but I spent two hours talking to my mom about it and in the end even she couldn't figure i#so then I had only two days to gather notes make an outline write an essay. while burnt out and barely able to focus.#and while not knowing exactly what I was doing like is this what he wants. is it not. who knows I literally don't have time left#to figure it out I just need to write something and hope it works#but I hate being unsure it makes everything harder#especially because I really wanted to make a good grade. this was the class where I made a 78 on my midterm#which brought my class grade to a B but I'd been able to get it back to an A and I'd be able to keep it if I got like an 80ish on the final#the essay turned out okay idk if it's what he wanted but whatever at least I got the other requirements like word count and sources#but the CITATIONS...we had to use chicago which I'd never used before and let me just say. mla is the love of my life after this.#actually chicago might not be that bad if I got used to it I think my violence should be directed toward every word processor#that links footnotes. it is so STUPID that there isn't an easier way to make them different#if it hadn't been for trying to figure out footnotes on google docs I could've submitted it like ten minutes earlier#and with phenomenally less stress#I eventually had to make a choice as to what I'd give up: (1) submitting it on time (2) perfect citations or (3) word doc#which is what he wanted it submitted as#except when I tried that thank goodness I looked at the preview before I submitted it because I saw that it'd messed up the citations#I ended up submitting it as a pdf. on time. with perfect (maybe) (I didn't have time to double check) citations. but not as a word doc.#is it the end of the world? idk probably not but not meeting a professor's requirements is like. anathema.#all of that is to say that I'm going to cry and then let it go and get to bed and just. idk. I've reached that point where#I'm so tired and numb that it feels like I'll never feel better#anyway#maybe I hurt because of my meds and the side effects decided to kick in now because the grace of God held them back long enough#for me to finish#earl crow ramblings
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The Healthcare horrors persist
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
#Updates on this whole mess:#Im insured under my dad#he has Healthcare option 1 which is government provided since he is retired millitary and option 2 due to his new job#after his retirement option 1 went funky for me and changed things around meaning i was no longer able to be seen by my pcp#Im also unable to log in to any of my accounts for 1 so im not sure whats going on there and what plan of 1 i have specifically#so i switched to a new pcp which accepted option 2 (which was super hard to find) literally last week#made an appointment with her for next month so i can finally get answers about my funky blood test results#(which is still don't know what specifically is wrong with it! for all i know i could just have high cholesterol-#or i could have markers for rheumatoid arthritis instead of my prior fibromyalgia diagnosis!)#(i also do not get refils for my anxiety medication until i have an appointment with my new doctor)#crisis averted right? WRONG!#I just got a call from my Dad saying he is switching jobs so I am no longer insured under 2#meaning...#1) i need to call option 1 and figure out how to get into my accounts and what my insurance is#2) check that this pcp acceprs said insurance#3) find yet another pcp if she doesnt and make an appointment for god knows when#and here is the kicker:#since option 1 is government and millitary based it is going to take FOREVER to get anything done#And Im not sure if they are going to want me to renew my millitary dependent ID or not#because that shit is EXPIRED and i was under the impression i can no longer renew it due to his retirement#but also in order to make any acoount with option 1 they require a benefits number which expires alongside the ID#Then on the other side of things i also have my wisdom teeth surgery to schedule (through my mom thank god)#and school starting again in a few weeks#going to defenestrate myself istg
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having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?
#txt#audhd tag#just venting a little#its crazy because ppl around me are like I understand your limitations However why dont you-#So you dont understand my limitations?#like okay yeah i understand that it must be Weird for people that are not Inside my brain and hard to understand that i PHYSICALLY CANNOT>#do things that they dont even think about. alright! but to sit and tell me Yeah we get it! but then try to either fix it or >#> come up w a New Incredible Way To Fix Me as if half of what i talk abt w my therapist isnt Exactly This#like yeah i dont fucking like it either. i wish i could do shit like other ppl do. i wish i could remember things.#i wish i didnt feel exhausted all the time i wish simply leaving my bed wasnt the most difficult task every single morning#but it pisses me OFF when people try to talk me through these Limitations i have that They Understand<3 like. can you be accommodating or no#one of my closest friends and oldest friends since i was like 5 had her bday on friday and she ljterally messaged me like#Hi we r having something w my family but theyre rly loud and extremist on the right wing side and i barely wanna be here u dont have 2 come>#> but i wanted to invite u anyway so u dont think ur being left out! and i was like Yayy nice thank u bc lbr i probably wouldnt go anyway.#and she KNOWS that. and she literally was talking to me like she alwahs does and That felt accommodating and understanding and i felt loved#cut to my mom last night trying to make me feel guilty for not going because Shes my friend and i should have gone anyway.#i told her off and she backtracked but thats still innmy head like. that shit is so irritating#okay sorry vent over im just aboht to get my period so this is making me sick#want to yell into the void and forget about it. Hits post
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also I hate the world wide assumption that every thais love spicy food. because it's true. it's so true I hate it. chili is just so good I'm sorry
#the only thais I've seen not liking spicy food are the ones with chinese families. eg my dads side relative and one of my old classmates#if you were raised the thai way you could eat very spicy food by like the age of 7#no shit I started eating spicy food by the age of 5#might be biased because my moms family (the one I was raised with) are southern but istg ive never seen anyone who doesnt like#at least 1 spicy dish#we do have desserts as well tho in case you don't know. the kind of snacks that is so sweet you can't eat them 2 days in a row or you die#a nice balance
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Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die
#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid#she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds#ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back#she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german#boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk#is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how#SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on#his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT#she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches#with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE#there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but#THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS#she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry#in the disguise of helping clean house#while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought#my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away'#my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died#hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life#WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON#SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD#SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE#OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO#OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE#THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING#UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO#be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW#I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE#FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN#SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME
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I'm claiming harry for wisconsin. He would've done numbers as a wisconsinite
#you see im half wisconsinite on my moms side so i know whats going on over there#rip harrier du bois you wouldve loved eating deep friend cheese curds and getting drunk off your ass at a packers game#(with a cheesehead hat ofc and it grants +2 to the substance use stat)#you wouldve loved buying beer And fireworks And dinner all at a combination gas station/convinience store/resturant/bait shop#you wouldve loved a one-stoplight town with not one but two bars#🪩🔍#midwest tag
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the amount of surprised pika “wait people actually shave their arms?” comments on posts about body hair are so funny like I unironically am so happy for you that you weren’t laughed at by a classmate for having hairy arms “like a man” in like 4th grade this is why I wish body hair conversations would stop centering around armpit hair
#okay that’s the tldr but the way I actually remember it is that the classmate (a boy) pointed out my arm hair and ask why so hairy#and I genuinely was so confused I was just like idk??? and then later at home that day I asked my mom about it and she was like#It’s bc your dads side of the family is hairy so then I later talked to that guy again like ‘I take after my dad’ or whatever#And /then/ is when he laughed and was like ‘but you’re a girl’ about it#Granted I’m non-binary but like I didn’t know that in elementary#Plus I didn’t stop shaving until around mid 2010s and was still self conscious about it for years#Like I remember feeling embarrassed during college (2018ish) if I had to use the rest room and someone else was in there when I would roll#My sleeves up to wash my hands#Anyways I eventually stopped caring about it sometime within the last year or 2 but see how long that took? It really shouldnt#Like some of us just genetically have more darker thicker visible body hair than others and we shouldn’t be shamed for it#One thing at a time though because even I’m still working through leg hair shame#I don’t shave them anymore but I also haven’t worn shorts outside of my bedroom in years#I’ll literally switch into shorts if it’s too hot right before bed and switch back into pants before stepping out of my room in the morning#I’ve been feeling cute the past few days and it’s starting to warm up again plus also had a convo w mom recently so#I might change that soon but only within the house still bc baby steps <3#Anyways I’m just rambling now so I should stop. Good night !!
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Would love if my body could not do scary shit while im at work
#its not emergency room level scary but i got an appointment at my drs at 4:20#unfortunately my doctor is here in Lawrence on the opposite side of town#and its only noon#and i clocked out at work already cuz i was having an anxiety attack for like. 2 hours#but i was determined to finish what i was working on and its not like i havent done much more demanding things while having an#anxiety attack before#but now im just sitting in the parking lot not sure what to do with myself until 4:20#i could go to my grammys but then id have to tell her what was going on and idk if i have that in me#i texted my mom to let her know what was going on but shes at work so idk when she'll see it
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last rb stressed me out lowkey akakska i had an ex like that and it became a self fulfilling prophecy kinda thing..
#like oof where do i even begin#for one... would recommend looking up what pedestalling is so u can catch urself when ur doing it.#and. hm. honestly even working on self worth n whatnot i think rly internalizing not 2 pedestal ppl cuts out a lot of self sabotage#like hello ppl in ur life r there bc they choose to be. you are worth it to them and they are showing u that w action.#u gotta be vulnerable.. u gotta trust in other ppl.. cautious optimism is fine but 😮💨😮💨#i hate when ppl assume what im thinking and feeling and act upon that. assumptions on assumptions.#my mom was like that in a mean spirited vindictive way. my ex would spiral if i took too long to respond stressed as hell#thinking that i had all these horrible thoughts about her or that i was just using her like holy shit I'm just sitting here drawing ajsjka#i am trying to make friends. i am recovering from my own personal circumstances and trying to figure myself out etc.#was also actively working on finding myself as a trans woman bc it was so early in my transition.#idk. like damn ppl have Lives‚ hobbies‚ other ppl they talk to‚ they take time for themselves.#if u don't know and ur stressed about it‚ ask..? but then believe ppl when they answer idk.#sorry.. I've annoyed myself lmao. it was wild... things were dead simple on my end but she came up w hella things she swore HAD to have bee#true and after breaking up w her she kept DMing me w long ass self deprecating vents and mischaracterisations#i had to block her after a while like 😐 u ever see somebody go to therapy and get worse somehow#i cannot fw people who have low self esteem anymore but like i sympathize from a distance lol#hello from the other side of the interaction... self love/worth is hard but please try#ur mischaracterization of ppl based on assumptions is hurting them and it will alienate ppl n push them away#and then become a sort of self fulfilling prophecy.. but also take what I'm saying w a grain of salt 🤷🏾♀️#i just have my personal experiences
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my verdict on ark is that dt is like. the only celebrity voice actor in it that is doing a really good job but i forgive it bc the rep is pretty good
#episodes 1 and 6 were the best 2-4 were kind of boring 5 was good for the meiyin content#the art/animation are pretty good (like it's a cut above tlovm/invincible standards)#However i think the characters are a little underutilized. like rockwell especially what the hell is his deal i want his backstory so bad#i also want to know more abt the past connection between rockwell and meiyin. he was part of the rebellion and BETRAYED her#can we delve deeper into that.. that kind of drives me crazy can we see more between these two#also i'd like it if the show focused more on helena's personal struggles and flaws. i LOVE the look into her backstory on earth#like w her wife and her mom. but i'd like to see more of like. how that backstory affects how she views the world#they do this really good w the side characters meiyin especially i just wish . like.!!! helena struggled w anxiety/depression#she was so dependent on victoria for like any sense of stability can we like. See More Of That#can we see her and meiyin be codependent toxic yuri . for me. for fun#overall.. i think it's alright of a show 7/10 i need to see more of it to deliver my verdict fully#cuz in the next time trailer there's bits of rockwell backstory and Please Give It To Me
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