#1x02: first blood

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

What did Sauron meant by “Not All of It” in 2x08?

Did Sauron deceive Galadriel all along, when he was pretending to be “just Halbrand”? Was he even pretending, to begin with? Did he seduced her on purpose and to manipulate her? Which part was true? And what was the deception?

To find the answer, we need to look at the visual clues, more specifically the color code of Sauron in “Rings of Power”:

Red

Red is a color that, in “Rings of Power”, has appeared in association with Sauron’s deceptions and treachery, over and over again.

On the negative side, the color red is, symbolically associated with danger, aggression, dominance, power and betrayal. In some cultures, red is associated with evil and death.

2x01: Sauron demands the Orcs’ allegiance (and he’s accused of straight-out lying, in this scene).

1x05: Galadriel’s vision on Palantír has a red stripe to foreshadow the “fall of Númenor” plot (triggered by Sauron).

1x05 and 1x06: Bits of red on Halbrand’s Númenórean armor = King of the Southlands’ deception.

1x07: Halbrand injury on the blast of Mount Doom, and creation of Mordor.

2x01: Adar and his tale of Sauron giving him red wine on *that* peak.

2x02: Celebrimbor falling prey to Sauron’s deception (he’s wearing red + red wine).

2x02: The background of Galadriel’s vision about Celebrimbor.

2x03: Ar-Pharazôn wears red to Míriel’s coronation to foreshadow the “fall of Númenor” plot (triggered by Sauron).

2x07: The missing ruby on Fëanor’s hammer (Sauron’s illusion on Celebrimbor).

2x07: Sauron displays the red blood on his wound (to instigate the guards to confine Celebrimbor in the forge tower for him to finish the Nine).

2x08: The arrows that Sauron shots at Celebrimbor (the ultimate betrayal).

Green

Then we have green, the complementary color to red (meaning they are in opposite sides of the color wheel). In Design, there is an unspoken rule that “red and green should not be seen together”. Hence its safe to admit that green, in Sauron’s color code in “Rings of Power”, also serves the opposite purpose of red.

Green is the color of health (healing), and is symbolically associated with hope, growth, rebirth, balance, fertility and prosperity.

1x02: Sauron first meets Galadriel (a new beginning, full of hope and potential).

1x02: The stone on Halbrand’s pouch (King of the Southlands heraldry) is green (the “new life” and “some place better” that Diarmid promises him in 2x01);

1x04: Halbrand garments on Númenor.

2x01: When Sauron “rebirths” as Halbrand form.

2x06: Celebrimbor starts to wear green once he begins to suspect Annatar’s intentions (the deception begins to crack).

In Season 2, this color becomes highly associated with Galadriel herself, as we see her wearing green dresses. This color is also used by Mirdania, at Eregion, a character that reminds Sauron of Galadriel (and he says so, himself), and the possibility of redemption he was denied.

To further solidify the idea of the colors green/red having opposite purposes/meaning in Sauron’s color code in “Rings of Power”; in 2x02, we see Celebrimbor wearing red, at Eregion; and Galadriel wearing green, in Lindon. This is meant to show to the audience that these two characters have different places in Sauron’s character arc.

It’s also worth mentioning that, in Season 2, both Mirdania and Celebrimbor were wearing green when Sauron killed them, symbolically marking the end of his redemption arc.

Blue

Halbrand/Sauron wears blue in 1x08, the episode where Halbrand is revealed to be Sauron. Blue is considered the ultimate “color of truth” and intuition.

Blue is symbolically associated with wisdom, imagination, loyalty, order and creation. In some cultures, blue is also associated with freedom, inspiration, sincerity and faith.

In 1x07, Halbrand/Sauron wears a blue cloak when he travels to Eregion with Galadriel, to be healed by the Elves. Throughout History, blue has been associated with royalty, yes, but this is a odd color for Sauron to wear, nonetheless.

In 1x08, while at Eregion, Halbrand/Sauron is also wearing blue, after his healing and while working at the forge (and “nerding out” with Celebrimbor).

Based on Tolkien lore, I would say that blue, in “Rings of Power”, is associated with Mairon (not Sauron), since it symbolizes the qualities he was designed to embody by Eru himself, before Morgoth’s corruption: goodness, trustworthy, creation, and order.

This could provide an explanation as to why Sauron didn’t “soiled” the Three Elven rings of power with evil, when he spent so much time at Eregion with Celebrimbor in 1x08, handling the mithril and testing different alloys, and the “eye of Sauron” even appears as the metals combine to make the Three.

What we, the audience, saw in 1x08 was a glimpse of the original Mairon (blue), after his healing process (redemption) was triggered by Galadriel’s light (green). At the beginning, Mairon was one of the most powerful Maiar, and the purest one, too. And these were the qualities that transferred onto the Three, in contrast with the cruelty, malice and deception of the Seven and Nine. More; this can also explain the healing properties of the Three (because Mairon, himself, was healing).

When Mairon is tortured by Waldreg and the Orcs, at Adar’s orders, in 2x01, he’s also wearing blue. This is a callback to the unspeakable tortures he endured under Morgoth, to bind him to darkness, and to power. Hence, the repentant Mairon begins to disappear, making way to Sauron.

What all of this means?

Red (the color associated with Sauron’s deception) only appeared on Halbrand/Sauron and Galadriel interactions, back on Season 1, on two occasions:

When he accepts to be “King of the Southlands”;

His injury due to eruption of Mount Doom (to bring him into Elven territory).

The use of the colors green and blue on Sauron’s arc in Season 1, can confirm that Sauron was, indeed, on his “repentant era”.

“Halbrand” was the original Mairon, and we see a lot of his primordial personality traits (before Morgoth’s corruption) on Halbrand’s character: good, loyal, generous, creative and highly intelligent. Charismatic but a bit withdrawn (he only opens up with Galadriel). Not outright antisocial but usually on the background, a follower and not a leader (the Maia in service of a Vala). And of course, his love and talent for smithing and craftsmanship (Maia of Aulë).

The “Halbrand” that Galadriel fell in love with, was, in fact, “Mairon the Admirable” seeking redemption.

Halbrand/Mairon wears green because he’s seeking redemption and a new beginning (rebirth);

Galadriel starts to be visually associated with this color because she’s the embodiment of the redemption Marion seeks;

Halbrand wears blue in 1x07 and 1x08 because “redeemed Mairon” is starting to come through.

Why was Halbrand/Mairon shamelessly flirting with Galadriel, then?

Because repentant Mairon was attracted to her, on a physical and spiritual level (they are both immortal spirits).

I’ll quote myself, here:

Mairon was created by Eru as a Maia of Aulë, the Vala (God) of smithing and handiwork, yes. He was among the most powerful Maiar. Eru created him to be good and trustworthy, but also to love several things: crafting, creation, beauty, order and perfection, and to dislike wastefulness.

And who better embodies the qualities of “beauty” and “perfection” than Galadriel herself? Her beauty is the stuff of legends, and everyone is at awe when they first meet her. Her very gold/silver hair inspired the most legendary jewels in existence: the Silmarils. The light of the Two Trees of Valinor shine on her hair and eyes. How could Sauron/Mairon not love her? That’s the question. She’s the materialization, the physical form, of everything he was designed to love.

The color code on Sauron’s arc in “Rings of Power” tells us, the audience, that the mutual attraction and connection Halbrand/Mairon and Galadriel shared was real. It wasn’t a deception on his part, nor did it had any hidden motive.

Mairon flirted with Galadriel because, like they say, he really wanted to “tap that”, “shake the sheets (or the forge table)”, “Netflix and chill” all night long, whatever you prefer. And she wanted the same, as confirmed by Charlotte Brändström.

In both 1x05 and 1x06, when Halbrand/Mairon shares intimate moments with Galadriel, the bits of red (deception) of his armor are hidden, either by a cloak, or by camera work (focus on his face). This artistic choice means there was no deception there. It was real.

And both Sauron’s deceptions with Galadriel, back in Season 1, had the purpose of keeping her close to him:

Accepting the “King of the Southland” role: Galadriel was leaving for Middle-earth, leaving him behind in Númenor;

Bringing him into Elven territory: Mairon didn’t know Galadriel would take him to Eregion to meet Celebrimbor (in show canon, she lives in Lindon, not Eregion).

Why? Because Mairon craved her light, and, like it has been established by the color code, Galadriel embodies the redemption he desperately seeks. Hence, he wants to be around her, and keeping her close. Galadriel represents his chance of redeeming himself after everything he has done under Morgoth.

And, in 1x08, when Galadriel denies his offer, it symbolizes the denial of his redemption:

Galadriel: You are a friend of Morgoth’s.

Sauron: When Morgoth was defeated, it was as if a great, clenched fist had released its grasp from my neck. And in the stillness of that first sunrise, at last, I felt the light of The One again. And I knew if ever I was to be forgiven… That I had to heal everything that I had helped ruin.

Galadriel: No penance could ever erase the evil you have done.

Mairon, then realizes, there will be no redemption for him. Redemption and Galadriel’s light have been denied to him. And, so, he falls back into his old ways under Morgoth, back into evil.

They say that Morgoth found the Silmarils so beautiful that after he’d stolen them, for weeks he could do nothing but stare into their depths. It was only after one of his tears fell upon the jewels and he was faced with the evil of his own reflection that the reverie was finally broken. From that moment, he looked upon their light no more. Fëanor's work nearly turned the heart of the Great Foe himself…”

Celebrimbor to Elrond, 1x01

It's not strength that overcomes darkness but light. For in its presence, all darkness must flee.

Celebrimbor to Galadriel, 2x07

In the vision Mairon shows Galadriel in 1x08, there is no red (deception), only blue and light. The spikes of his crown are, also, fading away, meant to symbolize his redemption, with Galadriel at his side. A lot of fans assume this is a vision of Dark!Galadriel, but they are wrong.

This means that Galadriel, indeed, could have helped Mairon achieve the redemption he was seeking.

We foresaw that if Galadriel’s search should have continued, she might have inadvertently kept alive the very evil she sought to defeat. For the same wind that seeks to blow out a fire may also cause its spread.

Gil-galad to Elrond, 1x01

The true meaning of this quote is: Galadriel didn’t f*cked up because she found Halbrand/Sauron and brought him back to Middle-earth. She screwed up because she denied Mairon his chance at redemption: not only by rejecting him, but, mostly, because she exposed him at Eregion and cause him to flee.

It was Galadriel’s pride that caused her to confront and expose Halbrand as Sauron. The pride that every single character has been warning her about, and the reason why she’s banished from Valinor, in the first place. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to tell Celebrimbor and Elrond about Halbrand’s true identity because, yes, of her wounded pride. And she allows the Three rings of power to be made.

In “Rings of Power”, it was Galadriel’s pride that condemned Middle-earth to Sauron’s tyranny, and I hope the show explores this further.

In Season 2, Sauron still believes that he, truly, wants to heal Middle-earth. But this isn’t the case anymore, because his redemption was cut short. This is confirmed by Celebrimbor in 2x07, when he says to Sauron/Annatar: “you truly are the Great Deceiver. You can even deceive yourself.”

But that boat has sailed. There is no more redemption’s arc for Mairon. That was Season 1. In Season 2, he’s now embracing his arc as “shadow of Morgoth”. And so, green and blue won’t be present on his color code anymore, as red takes the spotlight, alongside black to embody his role as the new Dark Lord.

What now?

Sauron and Galadriel are now bound together, since he forced their bloods to unite using Morgoth’s crown, in 2x08. They now have a open line to each other’s soul, mind and everything else. And this will come into play in Season 3.

One of Galadriel’s inner conflicts in Season 2 was the idea that “Halbrand” was nothing more than one of Sauron’s illusions and that he deceived her, all along. In Season 3 and through being bound together with Sauron, she’ll probably realize this isn’t the case, and that Halbrand was very much real, and, in fact, Mairon in seek of redemption. How will this play out, I have no idea. But there’s a lot of potential here.

And in Season 2 we were told that Elven memories don’t dim. Meaning; the memory of Halbrand/Mairon and their love for each other and “what could have been”, will haunt Galadriel forever (yes, even after Celeborn returns).

[lizardkingeliot]

1x02 // 2x08

I can't be the only one who thought of Lestat marking up the sheet music with his blood to show his displeasure with the tenor ruining Don Pasquale when I first saw the way he'd used his blood to mark the flats and sharps on his wood plank piano. Something something I've connected the two dots...

[raayllum]

Dark Magic, a Brief Dissection

There are four scenes in the series I think best embody the pitfalls of dark magic from an ideological standpoint, even if you don't touch on the fact it's just a malevolent magic system + the harm it does to the user. Two are in season two, and two are in season six.

The first is the infamous reservation from Sarai in 2x05 that dark magic is too ideologically easy, because it is always easier to dehumanize and to strip away the fact that someone or something might be a person than it is to recognize it. The "you keep calling it a monster" and "there's no shortcut" are things that other episodes echo as well (6x05, 1x02), highlighting key take aways. The biggest one, though, is the idea that

We see this directly happen with Viren even before the events of 2x05, as we see him go from necessary horror to necessary horror in order to save Soren. He coins Kpp'Ar to get the staff, yes, but also to preserve his status; doing so alters his appearance both literally and emotionally in the eyes of his wife; when she's frightened and denies him her tears, he takes them by force; and then when she leaves, he blames the son he saved. He thought dark magic would give more than it would take, and when confronted with the opposite that Harrow had also learned ("We may not pay now but we will pay the bloodprice eventually"), he couldn't handle its lesson of accountability, because it's usually easier to blame others rather than yourself.

Viren fell down that slope in quick succession, climbed the mountainous Storm Spire twice, and it took falling off that mountain for him to get his head back on straight, to realize that rather than having no choice, he was continually making bad, harmful choices. This likewise ties back into 1) using his wife as spell parts leading to the dissolution of their marriage, because being treated as a thing is not something you can come back from and 2) rejecting using Soren as spell parts, and instead using himself in S6. And also ties into what S6 makes plain for Claudia in terms of the mindset that dark magic encourages:

I don't know if there's much to say about this aspect that the screencap (and earlier paragraphs) don't already say on its own tbh. Dark magic "shattered" her family forever (6x06) and Claudia refuses to "let anything break" them apart further (3x09). She treats dark magic as a glue to hold things or people together, but in doing so treats everything around her as parts, including herself (her blood, hair, leg, and even her body taking on more animalistic forms through spell consumption). And that leads you to breaking things, including yourself, your relationships, even without necessarily realizing it. (Doesn't mean that it can't be put back together in some true form, though.)

But if dark magic is so bad, then why do it? I think Callum's arc answers this perfectly in terms of what it offers and why people (at their best and operating best they can under terrible circumstances) take it:

Dark magic offers unlimited power with the promise of control and desire, but this agency is an illusion. It took time for Callum to learn the truth and other characters (Viren, Claudia) didn't/don't know how tangibly true it is, but dark magic robs you of your agency by making you vulnerable to Aaravos. The Startouch elf didn't have to possess Claudia to make her do what he wanted, and doing so might've thrown a wrench in needing her to perform the quasar diamond spell with love if she wasn't on board with him as is. Viren, despite having no knowledge that Aaravos can possess him, is terrified of being used again (6x05) and mandates that saying no to Aaravos and dark magic is "the path of freedom" (as opposed to fate).

Callum of course gets this promise of power ripped out entirely from under him even after he rejects it (2x08) as he learns the full extent it lets Aaravos control him (4x04), and continues to engage with dark magic under duress even past that point (5x08). It's one of the ways arc 2 and him as a character recognizes false binaries and reconciles dualities: the choice isn't between "powerless human" or "powerful dark mage," but that you can become a powerless human by being a dark mage.

At the same time, 6x08 finally makes it truly, clearly explicit that dark magic can be used morally under extreme circumstances and through self-sacrificial methods (particularly for a character with a very complicated relationship towards sacrifice). This is doubly so considering that it required using the Staff of Ziard, which others have thought was extremely dangerous (Ibis, Kpp'Ar) and worth sacrificing for (Ibis killing Claudia, Kpp'Ar being willing to let Soren die), and it was still seen as the right thing to do, not only for Viren. Whether we'll see another instance of dark magic use in this way is unknown, but I could see perhaps Callum being allowed to have it in his back pocket (light and dark inside him and all that, and idk if they'd clean slate him again) as continued proof. If anyone can navigate the pitfalls appropriately (and same with primal magic), I think he's in the best position to do so.

[amuseoffyre]

Thinking again (thanks to the dead bird site) about Stede rebooting his worst day ever, aka the traumatic flashback he has multiple times across both season, only this time he gets the acceptance and approval he has craved for his entire life.

The Worst Day Ever is the day his father teaches him to kill, slaughtering a goose and spraying blood all over little Stede's face. He then grabs his son by the arm and drags him out to verbally excoriate him and tell him he is worthless and useless, "a soft-handed, weak-hearted, lily-livered little rich boy".

Faced with the prospect of killing for the first time sends Stede into a panic spiral including that flashback.

It's referenced again throughout the season, but especially in 1x02, loosely in the fever dream in 1x04 (he was scared of geese for Christ's sake!), and 1x09, when Stede is struggling with his guilt, self-recriminations and self-doubts and also being confronted directly by Chauncey.

But the most significant return of the Worst Day Ever flashback is immediately after Stede kills Ned Low, his first real deliberate kill.

Our man is very much Not Okay. The fact that this memory is front and centre shows exactly how much that day - that moment - impacted on him decades on.

He does his usual thing when he's upset - isolates and closes himself away somewhere else, shutting himself down and using the tried and true conceal-don't-feel approach.

The difference this time is that someone comes after him to offer him emotional support, comfort and care (much like Ed did on the beach in 2x09, and this time, more kisses as well). So for a little while at least, Stede is distracted and wrapped up in Ed's affections and can put Ned's death to the back of his mind.

But the trouble arises when they get to the Republic and suddenly, for the first time in his life, he's being praised and celebrated. And, of all the people for him to gravitate towards, he ends up choosing to spend his time in the company of Blood-bucket Bill, an older man in a blood-smeared leather apron, who keeps telling him how cool and amazing he is.

And, after Stede kills in front of him, we get another twisted up mirror of the Worst Day Ever. Instead of his dad dragging him out to humiliate him, Bloodbucket Bill grabs him by the arm and hauls him up and tells everyone "the Gentleman Pirate is the fuckin' dude"

And as the episode continues and Ed leaves, Stede retreats to the bar with Bill, trying to take comfort from the man who has been telling him how good he is all day.

"At least you like me for me," he says to the deranged blood-smeared groupie. "Bonnet, I'd fuckin' die for you" Bill tells him and you can see that it isn't bringing the assurance Stede thought it would.

And to ice the cake, even when he's holding onto those last little vestiges of "yay I'm cool", Izzy shows up and dismisses Bill with three words and Bill doesn't even try to stay. "I'll fuckin' die for you" becomes "yes, right away, Mr Hands".

And the framing. omg the framing in the scene. It is, once again, a deliberate and pointed call back to Stede's Worst Day Ever. Once again, an older man is looming over him and Stede is just waiting to have emotional strips ripped out of him again ("have you come for your victory lap?"). This is the first and only time I can think of Izzy looking taller than anyone, especially Stede.

But unlike the horrendous abuse he got from his father, the abuse Stede expects yet again, the same old patterns happening over and over, Izzy changes the script and tells him "I think you're good for him. You balance each other out".

And if not for a group of his crew - his family - choosing to leave him as well, it might have been enough. But when he's already fragile over the loss of one person precious to him and reassured that he's good for people after all, the threat of losing more of his beloved people pushes him straight back into the reckless behaviour that has filled the rest of his day.

(brb wailing into a pillow that we won't get to see him have a chance to process any of this stuff)

[manhandlingmayhem]

Daniel Jackson Whump List: Stargate (1994), Stargate Sg-1, The Ark of Truth, Continuum, & Atlantis

The other whump lists I’ve found for Daniel have been quite minimal so I decided to make my own since he is my latest hyper fixation.

This is a work in progress. I’ll add seasons as I watch them.

Stargate (1994)

Dragged by his foot through the dessert by an alien horse, manhandled, captured by Jaffa, forced to kneel, shot and killed by staff weapon protecting Jack, brought back to life by sarcophagus, threatened, non-con face touching, shot at throughout ending battle

Season 1

1x01 - distressed, guilty, crying, thrown against a wall, imprisoned, held back, forced to kneel, held down, shot at by staff weapons

1x02 - emotional about losing Char’e

1x03 - threatened with a knife

1x04 - beat up by Jack, attacked by The Touched and infected, carried by Teal’c

1x05 - gun held to kneck

1x07 - shot and killed with staff weapon, brought back by the Knox

1x12 - kidnapped, pushed against wall, general intimidation, strapped to a table, memory searched painfully

1x13 - brainwashed/manipulated by Hathor and implied rape

1x15 - manhandled

1x16 - goes rogue, threatened with court martial

1x17 - violently thrown through gate, head injury, comatose

1x18 - knocked out with scanning device, duplicated, weak, falls through gate

1x19 - gun point, handcuffed, manhandled, sedated, detained, interrogated, shot with staff weapon

1x21 - injured by ribbon device

Season 2

2x01 - knocked out and blinded by stun grenade, imprisoned, shot with staff weapon, presumed dead, revived in sarcophagus

2x02 - gun to head, shot with zat gun

2x03 - violently thrown through gate, choked, passed out

2x04 - taken by an alien devices and put into a coma, repeatedly forced to watch his parents die, tries to stop it but his parents perceive him as a child so they won’t listen to him, distressed and angry, held back, handcuffed, confined

2x05 - captured by Jaffa, chained, forced to kneel, manhandled, forced labor, limping, crushed under rockslide, healed by sarcophagus, addicted to sarcophagus, strapped to bed, extreme withdrawal, escapes infirmary and gets into a pretty violent fight with Jack, emotional breakdown

2x06 - surrenders

2x08 - emotional throughout, forced to kneel

2x13 - knocked out with dart, confined

2x17 - body swapped into old man, in hospital bed near death, emotional (the old man as Daniel gets handcuffed and confined)

2x19 - emotional, angry/vengeful

2x20 - gun point, hands on head kneeling, detained

2x21 - wakes up in kryo tube, caught trying to escape, threatened with becoming Ga’ould host

Season 3

3x01 - threatened (Hathor brings up when she r*ped him) gash on leg from staff weapon, kneeling, hands tied, threatend with zat gun, generally looks very tired this whole episode

3x02 - gun point, forced to kneel, brainwashed by Seth, thrown by ribbon device

3x04 - hallucinations which get worse until he is institutionalized, passes out, forced sedation, general manhandling

3x06 - bloody scrape on his cheek, surrounded by Jaffa, kneeling, shot with zat gun

3x07 - runs face first into force shield, forced to surrender, gun point for most of the episode

3x08 - struck by zat lightning, caged, shackled, chained and left as sacrifice to the Unas

3x09 - shot by stun gun, threatened with stun gun

3x10- tortured with ribbon device, emotional, nightmares

3x11 - emotional from the death of Shar’e

3x12 - captured, kneeling, imprisoned

3x13 - imprisoned, kneeling, slapped, punched, knocked to the ground, interrogated

3x14 - drugged, gun point

3x19 - zapped unconscious by force field, hands tied, kneeling, blood sample taken, caged, interrogated, tazed with staff weapon multiple times, manhandled, Jack and Sam tortured to get information out of Daniel

3x20 - surrenders to Jaffa as a ploy

3x21 - sent out of phase by crystal skull, not really whump but I love to see Daniel frustrated and helpless

3x22 - Michael Shanks had an appendectomy so Daniel had one too

Season 4

4x02 - gun point

4x03 - alien device stuck on his arm, passed out, weak, falls through gate

4x05 - hit in the face and knocked over

4x06 - knocked out and captured by unas, wrists tied for entire episode, pulled along by rope, dragged, knocked over, cut on cheek, threatened, lots of flinching

4x08 - memory loss

4x09 - gun point, zip tied to chair, interrogated

4x13 - manhandled, choked, thrown to the ground, tortured with ribbon device, extreme headache

4x14 - laying under a floating bomb trying to disarm it

4x16 - shot and killed by laser weapons in the future

4x17 - passes out, in a coma

4x18 - suicidal, Jack talks him off his balcony, coma, flatlines, Jack fireman carries him through the gate, headache,

4x21 - duplicate Daniel captured, hands tied, kneeling, manhandled, head shot off by staff weapon

Season 5

5x01 - gun point , imprisoned

5x04 - gun point and disarmed, shot with zat gun

5x07 - shot with zat gun, imprisoned, chained by ankle, electrocuted

5x09 - captured, thrown by ribbon device

5x13 - shot by zat multiple times

5x15 - undercover as Goa’uld slave, manhandled, kneeling

5x16 - undercover as Goa’ould slave, knife to throat, punched and knocked to the ground, grabbed by the throat and threatened with knife, thrown to the ground

5x19 - thrown into bookshelf, arm twisted/injured, thrown to the ground, kneeling, emotional, crying

5x20 - burned hands, slowing dying of radiation poisoning, jumps through glass windows, emotional, ascends

Season 7

7x01 - wakes up in a field naked and with no memories

7x02 - captured by Jaffa, tackled by Jonas to keep him from being shot

7x06 - passes out, wakes up with multiple people in his mind, collapses, medical restraints (belt with cuffs that attach to it), lots of emotions in this one, angry, terrified, sad, etc.

7x07 - kneeling, intimidated

7x10 - woken up with a staff weapon in his face

7x11 - almost drowns in a tunnel complex, captured by guerrillas, hands zip tied, blindfolded, manhandled, locked in a shed,

7x12 - manhandled, food and water deprivation, interrogated, tortured (off screen unfortunately), dragged, weak/unable to walk, zip tied to chair, punched in the face, bloody mouth and cheek, shot in the leg, slams into tree, limping, on crutches

7x15 - Osiris manipulating his dreams, tortured with ribbon device

7x17/18 - if you like emotional Daniel you’ll like this, one of the best war drama story lines of the entire show

7x19 - wakes up on the ground after being knocked out

7x21 - Jack grabs him and pushes him against a wall

Season 8

8x03 - shot in the arm, arm in sling, shot with zat gun

8x05 - arm in a sling and shrapnel cuts on his face, grabbed by the collar and threatened with gun

8x06 - shot in a simulation multiple times

8x07 - threatened with sniper fire, kidnapped, handcuffed, manhandled, interrogated, forced to give up information to save a friend, shot with zat gun

8x10 - shot by zat gun, punched in the face and knocked to the ground

8x12 - shot with zat gun, zip tied to chair, interrogated, slapped, shot in the shoulder, punched in the face several times, kicked in the stomach, kneed in the face, head butted

8x13 - disarmed, held at gun point, hit in the stomach, choked

8x14 - manhandled, detained by the Russians, blood sample taken

8x16 - captured by Replicarter, pinned to the wall, mind searched

8x17 - interrogated by Replicarter, stabbed through the chest, dies again lol

8x18 - accended and the sent back to earth

8x20 - alternate timeline Daniel knocked out by stun grenade, punched in the face, manhandled, forced to kneel, tortured with ribbon device, implanted with Goa’uld off screen, killed by T’ealc

Season 9

(a lot of whump gets moved to Cam this season)

9x01 - gets alien bracelet stuck on his wrist, passes out

9x02 - manhandled, held back

9x03 - thrown and held against a wall, manhandled, punched in the stomach, chained, almost burns to death

9x04 - passes out, handcuffed as part of a ruse

9x06 - collapses

9x10 - manhandled, knife held to throat

9x15 - imprisoned, manhandled

9x16 - captured, tied up, tortured mostly off screen, cuts on his face, almost shot (I greatly dislike this episode because the whump potential was great but the terrible writing ruins it with plot holes and time skips, boooo)

9x19 - ‘possessed’ by Vala using the Ancient communicator device

Season 10

10x01 - captured at gun point

10x02 - infected with a sleep inducing parasite

10x07 - captured by Jaffa, hands on head, choked by Adria, kneeling, mind searched

10x08 - gun point, talks Vala down

10x09 - shot by zat off screen, hands tied behind back, hostage

10x10 - threatened by Adria

10x11 - uses Ancient downloading device, head aches, weak (this is a nice long scene) falls to his knees after trying to fight Adria, non-con face touching, thrown to the ground, cuts and bruises on his face, uses Merlin’s powers to let the team get away and is captured by Adria

10x14 - turns up as a Prior, shot by zat, strapped to a chair, weak from use of powers

10x15 - shot at by assassin, held at gun point

10x16 - tazed, unconscious

10x19 - thrown across the room, trapped in a room with toxic coolant leak, falls to the floor

Stargate: The Ark of Truth

Captured by Ori soldiers, captured again, dragged by guards, thrown into cell, cuts on his face, mentally tortured by Ori priest, shaking in pain, so weak he can’t sit up, crying/begging while speaking with Morgan Le Faye, thrown against a wall, holding his arm in pain (this movie also has plenty of Cam Mitchell whump if you like that kind of thing)

[carebooks]

No one wants to admit the fact that yes, Team Black is right because A) She was named heir by the king and B) having a cock between your legs doesn’t make you a better ruler. it just makes people THINK you’re better.

So, everyone shifts around looking to blame this or that for Rhaenyra’s side or this or that for Aegon’s. And yet no one seems to remember that this whole thing started for one man trying to grab for more power:

Otto Hightower.

He was the one who influenced Rhaenyra be named heir to Viserys, not because he believed in her, but because he didn’t want Daemon on the throne. Daemon was someone he couldn’t control and someone who hated him, he would’ve been removed as Hand immediately. He figured Rhaenyra was the safer option, believing he could mold her and influence her just like he did Viserys.

Then, in 1x02 when seeing her show up for the dragon egg that Daemon stole, Otto saw that Rhaenyra was more alike her uncle than he thought. She couldn’t be controlled and that was a problem. Luckily, he had already been sending his daughter to the king as a backup. Which works when the king proclaims he will marry Alicent.

Once Alicent has had a son, he sees his way back in. Not only is that a new baby boy that the realm will flock to as their new king but this is also his grandson, his blood on the Iron Throne.

And when he sees his daughter choosing Rhaenyra’s side as he’s leaving in 1x05, he leaves her with one last piece of intelligent manipulation and fear, he frighteningly tells her that Rhaenyra will have to put Alicent’s children to the sword if she wants to uphold her claim. (Something we don’t know that she would do because we never got to see her on the throne without any usurping. 1x08 and 1x10 showed us that Rhaenyra is not impulsive, not when it comes to the realm. She is not bloodthirsty nor is she easily swayed, killing her own kin is not something she would do.)

Finally, when his grandson is crowned king and he now has to deal with a 20yo boy who doesn’t know the first thing about politics or ruling, the unthinkable happens and he’s removed as Hand. All that careful planning gone in a second because he overestimated what he was worth to a boy that was raised without love and placed in the highest seat of power in the realm.

So, yes, all of this is on Otto fucking Hightower.

The IRONY of it all is that Alicent’s children would’ve been fine. Aegon didn’t care about the throne, didn’t want it, he wanted to drink and fly Sunfyre. Aemond only coveted the throne because he was mad that he was the second born son and everyone went out of their way to put Aegon on it, someone who he and Aegon-himself agreed was ill-suited for it. And even Daemon wouldn’t have tried anything against them because he knew just how bad that would look for Rhaenyra, they didn’t need the title of kinslayers.

so yeah, in the end, men suck.

[dont-let-me-eat-pears]

Ok I also just rewatched ep 5 and I didn't realize how many times Qimir swings at Osha. Do you think he was out for blood

funny you would ask that because i have spent a LOT of time overthinking those parts where he at least seems to go after her, first after she shoots him with the stun gun, then after she sticks pip on his back. and i've concluded that basically, qimir's intentions and actions toward osha in 1x05, at least up until the final scene, are open to interpretation. i have various theories for what's going on in his head during their scenes together but don't want to start ranting. in short, either 1) he never aims to actually hurt her and each of the times he takes (or seems to take) a swing at her can be explained away, or 2) his intentions change throughout the episode and he might be trying to harm her at one or more points.

but whatever he's thinking before the ending scene, one thing i am sure about is that by the time he finds her abandoned, unconscious and injured, on the ground, there's no thought of hurting her. his mind is made up about her. he emphasizes with her, doesn't see her as enemy (even if she tried to hurt/kill him the previous night), wants her on his side, and from now on, he'll never do anything to harm her. he even forgoes hunting down mae and sol—abandoning his plan to kill her for her betrayal and risking exposure by leaving alive the last jedi who saw his face—to heal osha and take her home to win her over. in 1x06 qimir never threatens osha, goes to lengths to show he's not a threat. he deliberately makes himself vulnerable and puts his life in her hands again and again. even if she'd gone through with an attempt to kill him with his own lightsaber, i don't think he would've fought back. maybe deflected her attack, like he did mae's at the end of 1x02, but not counterattacked or hurt her.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

This was a theory I found on reddit and I made a post about it here. Let @turbulenthandholding and I entertain this theory for fun! We were bouncing off ideas, and there's meta turbulent written about disassociation and memory loss.

Carmy & PTSD.

You may also be unable to recall crucial information or forget essential milestones in your life or significant relationships. link

So here it goes: Carmy met Sydney the day he made the hamachi with blood orange, just a few days after Mikey died. He's wearing that glove because the wound is still fresh. So, he continues working and avoids seeing Mikey's body in Chicago.

But talking with Sydney, she's the first person he shares with about his brother's death (she doesn't know how he died because she asks questions about Michael in 1x02 Hands). They had a connection that night and slept together in her hotel room.

Afterward, he has a panic attack, and Sydney calms him down. This is actually the first time it has happened where she calms him. She tells him he should go to Chicago to say goodbye to his brother. That night, when she falls asleep, he goes back to Chicago.

A body in the morgue can be there for up to 30 days- this is where this fragmented memory comes up:

Carmy actually visited to see the body.

Then walks out and goes into a busy street. It's the meaning of the dream.

In his dream, you see two headlights—there are no cars on State Street bridge, and there are no street lights over the bridge in RL.

Also, when he wakes up, cars are honking?!

This is a different memory mixed with a dream.

Plot twist: Emmnuel almost runs him over. It's a serendipitous moment where, if Sydney isn't there, her dad is there driving by this road by chance. which is why we get this ominous dream in the pilot. Sydney never tells Emmanuel of her admiration for Carmy; he wouldn't know who Carmy is. We get foreshadows of the cars with Emmanuel: 1) when he tells the story of her mom and their first date, and 2) when he tells Sydney the radiator to the car keeps clicking.

Also Jimmy's dream.

When Emmanuel gets out of the car, he asks Carmy if he's okay, but Carmy keeps walking. Later, when Sydney gets back home, Emmanuel tells her—like he always talks about his car trouble—that there was this man he almost hit with his car.

These lyrics played in the 1st episode:

Via Chicago by Wilco

This is a foreshadowing that this memory will come up when he sees Emmanuel.

When she reveals her tattoo- we see carmy making the ragu and these lyrics play:

But wait- why didn't Sydney say anything at the interview- she caught on quickly. He didn't remember her- it was a one-night stand in her head. Why would he? He's this famous chef- who probably has a really active sex life, she assumes.

She also probably called and spoke with Gary, or Ebra, answered, and told her when to come in.

So when she makes up, she and her dad would come every Sunday; Carmy does a double take- probably remembers her saying that word Sunday-becuase they hate Sundays and talked about it- so it almost triggers a memory.

He's quite forgetful—he doesn't remember and just accepts she called that morning because he knows he has a foggy memory even forgot what UPS is.

Carmy would draw Claire in high school. Why doesn't he remember that Claire sat behind him in algebra class? PTSD and fragmented memories can be intrusive.

Carmy still forgets things, but the memories are starting to come back. This is why Carmy remembers nights with Claire in season 3- season 4 may play out that way. Sydney spent time with Carmy doing a menu review at his place. A calendar shows in 2x05, with Claire visiting the restaurant and reviewing the menu together on other days.

This is where the scrunchie comes in.

That's all for now!

@turbulenthandholding I hope this is right- let me know if I need to include anything!

[whenmemorydies]

Chicken Piccata: a succession of inspiration

Daniel Boulud described his dish Crisp Paupiettes of Sea Bass in Barolo Sauce as a “succession of inspiration” because he drew on dishes he had seen worked on by his mentors to come up with it. This is echoed in The Bear in Carmy’s discussion with Marcus about legacy in 3x07. Boulud’s Crisp Paupiettes of Sea Bass in Barolo Sauce is also paid homage to three times in the show: first with Carmy preparing the dish with Boulud in 3x01, then with Carmy’s hamachi with blood orange reduction and potato chip in the same episode, and finally with Carmy’s sea bass with potato chips in 3x02 (“Boulud nod?” “Boulud nod, yes.”)

But there’s another dish featured on The Bear that’s also been the subject of a succession of inspiration (of sorts)...

In 2021, before The Bear debuted, Chris Storer's sister, Courtney Storer - who works on the show with her brother as a culinary producer and whose professional and personal experiences have also shaped the content of the show - was interviewed in Lulu and Georgia, while she was Culinary Director of Jon + Vinny’s in Los Angeles.

And what dish was featured in the article?

Chicken piccata!

Cut to 2022 and what dish makes it way to episodes 1x02 Hands and 1x05 Sheridan of The Bear?

Chicken piccata!

...and then what does The Bear alum Carmen Christopher (aka Marcus' bestie, Chester) order on his new FX show English Teacher in 2024? You guessed it!

(Alarmingly raw) Chicken piccata!

Courtney Storer (and Donna, Natalie and Carmy Berzatto) would be mortified lmao.

And here's a few more call backs to The Bear in English Teacher:

The Bear, 2x01 Beef / English Teacher, 1x07 Convention

and:

The Bear, 3x09 Apologies / English Teacher, 1x07 Convention

and in case you weren’t sure:

English Teacher, 1x07 Convention

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

What the deal with Sauron’s hands in “Rings of Power”?

We all know of the “eye of Sauron”, but what about the “hand of Sauron” subtext the show has going on?

Even stone cannot hide the mark of one whose very hand is flame unquenched. He was here. Sauron was here. (Galadriel; 1x01)

Come on! Give me your hand! Bind yourself to me! (Galadriel; 1x02)

Do you know what it is? It is no sword. It is a power. Fashioned for our ancestors by his master's own hand. A beautiful servant. He who was lost, but shall return. Have you heard of him, lad? Have you heard of Sauron? (Walbreg; 2x04)

Sometimes to find the light, we must first touch the darkness. (Galadriel; 1x05)

Touch the darkness once more. (1x08)

The powers we forge today must be for the Elves alone. Untouched by other hands. (Galadriel; 1x08)

He [Sauron] never touched them [Three rings of power], High King.  (Galadriel; 2x01) 

Elrond: Perhaps it was not Celebrimbor's hand that produced that effect.   Círdan: If what you've told me is true, these three Rings were made without Sauron's touch.  (2x01) 

Sauron used me. And under his hand, I was played like a harp to a melody not of my choosing. (Galadriel; 2x02)

In Sauron's hands, they could work an evil beyond reckoning, dominating the minds and wills of all. This is why they must remain in the hands of Elves. (Círdan, 2x02) 

The hand of darkness has closed around Khazad-dûm. (King Durin; 2x03) 

It's there, sire. You... You took it off. You said your hand was feeling heavy.  (to King Durin, concerning one of the Seven rings of power, 2x05) 

I assure you, I have the affairs of the city well in hand.  (Sauron; 2x06) 

Unhand me, friend. (Celebrimbor; 2x06) 

Once he [Elrond] arrives, he will seal off the city, loose Celebrimbor from Sauron's grasp, and then together, Uruk, you and I will eradicate all trace of Sauron from this world. Never to return [...] Any Rings that have known his touch must be destroyed. (Galadriel; 2x06) 

He is Sauron! If you do not believe me, cut him open. Look at his hand, look at his blood. Black as pitch. (Celebrimbor; 2x07) 

Celebrimbor: You shall not find them here. They will be far from your reach by now. Sauron: Then you are going to bring them to me and place them in my hand.   Celebrimbor: Your hand will never touch another Ring again.  (2x07) 

Your only craft is treachery. So pure, it shall betray the very hand that forges it. (Celebrimbor; 2x08) 

[herefortarlos]

911: Lone Star Season 5 Countdown - Beginnings

(1) Which 911 Lone Star season premiere is your favorite? Well, since it was the only premiere I watched live, I guess I'm going to have to say Season 4 😅. I would not call it my favorite, mostly because I hated having to wait those first few weeks to complete that Tarlos story arc and get the resolution! But I had just joined Tumblr again with my new tarlos account, so even though I wasn't active like I am now, I did enjoy seeing others speculate and talk about the episodes, and make gifs and new fics based off of things! People's engagement here is what I'm really looking forward to with season 5!

(2) Which character do you think had the best introduction or first scene in the show? I will say my favorite character introduction was TK's! His first lines were, "I'm going to ask Alex to marry me" and them using a gender neutral name was smart because then later when I realized he was talking about a man, I was like, "Ahhhhh, he's a gay character on a Fox show and starring side by side with Rob Lowe!" I am so into this and in love with him already!

(3) What is your favorite moment of 1x01? Ooooo, but there are so many to choose from! TK's overdose and Owen finding him, them doing the interviews with Paul, Marjan and Mateo! Making us think Judd was going to be a stereotypical red neck and he turns out to be this sensitive, giant teddy bear who loves and misses his family! My favorite though is probably the Honky Tonk scene and everyone coming together and of course Carlos sidling up to TK and me realizing, "Oh my, this hot man is hitting on him!" I am so far gone on them already!! And I miraculously did not have anything from season 1 to 3, spoiled for me, so I had no idea just what their relationship would become 🥹

(4) When did you first start watching Lone Star and how did you find out about it? I started watching Lone Star in October of 2022. I remember because that's also around when I started my current job 😆 I remember specifically seeing FB clips of the 1x02 racist lady scene and also the 1x03 shielding Marjan when she loses her hijab in the silo scene. Hearing TK's "I am a homosexual" and Paul's "I am trans though", and then seeing a Muslim woman, I was so unbelievably interested in this diverse cast of characters! Oh and I had the Hulu trial at the time and had just finished bingeing Modern Family and I saw Lone Star was on there, so I decided to start that while I still had it. Needless to say I started paying for Hulu monthly because of LS 🤣

(5) What is one wish you have for the season 5 premiere? Hmm, many, many wishes. But hopefully a simple, realistic one is I need to see at least one instance of Tarlos being in love and happily married! Just give me one happy thing between the two of them, and then I will gladly take the weeks of angst, I just need something to hold me over until we get whatever amazing resolution they have planned for us, as is tradition!

Thank you for the tag @lonestar-s5countdown! I really enjoyed thinking about all the reasons I started Lone Star and what I immediately loved about it!

Zero pressure tags to, @heartstringsduet @thisbuildinghasfeelings @tellmegoodbye @paperstorm @strandnreyes

@theghostofashton @orchidscript @bonheur-cafe @eclectic-sassycoweyes @ladytessa74

@carlos-tk @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @carlos-in-glasses @alrightbuckaroo @lemonlyman-dotcom

@whatsintheboxmh @emsprovisions @chicgeekgirl89 @reyesstrand @lightningboltreader And OPEN TAG 💖

[raayllum]

Hi!

I’ve heard you mention a cannibalism motif in The Dragon Prince a few times on your blog, and I was wondering how it comes into play earlier in the show. For example the scene with Claudia in 1x02 with the peanut butter breath, but also just arc 1 in general.

Thank you in advance if you get to this!

Yes! So the cannibalism motif was something I'd noticed primarily in response to dark magic post-S2 (largely due to Aaravos having a bug in his mouth, dark magic curing famine / using the Magma Titan's heart, Viren drinking the cup, "hungry for both knowledge and power, both things I can provide). After S3 thanks to some of the language used (harvesting Zubeia, consuming Zym, Viren's dark magic spell reversed being "I swallow your heart/mind/power") and imagery (little big pal hiding in Viren like a Trojan Horse, crawling back up the throat, etc) felt very apt.

There were also things in S1 (although admittedly the peanut butter thing didn't ping, great catch by @its-leethee!) like Viren offering Runaan fruit as a bribe, Viren consuming the butterflies to modify his appearance, the slug creature draining another animal for blood, stories of elves drinking blood, etc. It seemed very clear that dark magic as inherently transactional and about consumption (literal or metaphoric) and that dark magic's most extreme but inevitable endgame would be the literal consumption of another elf/human.

I also thought that cannibalism as an understanding of dark magic captured a lot of how dark magic works within TDP's universe that other allegories (hunting, fossil fuels) either underestimate or miss out on, respectively. For example, dark magic can be necessary (people need to eat, literally) yet also horrific (eating other people in times of starvation to keep yourself alive is a terrible ordeal to go through even if it mandates your survival) and traumatic, not only to the victims (if they weren't already dead) but also yourself (playing into how dark magic also harms the user's body/soul/general wellbeing).

Kim'Dael made me think maybe they'd take the concept further, since the Bloodmoon Huntress graphic novel said the quiet "dark magic can be used for eating other people" out loud and S5 was pretty brutal in its depiction of her, but seeing Aaravos outright say "I swallowed her" when I'd speculated about him eating people in the past (post-s2, as noted) was WILD cause I thought it'd stay a motif. One of the first of many times I caught something in TDP and chalked it up to being metaphoric, and then the show made it happen and be more Literal than I thought it'd be

If you're interested in it in full you can check out my tag for it. The best meta for it is probably this one (post-S3 though) since I also read a secondary resource on how cannibalism is used in stories and that fit with how dark magic seemed to slot into the series particularly in terms of aspects of sacrifice, violation, and transformation

[amuseoffyre]

Real Pirates

Got thinking last night about Stede and what was said to him in 2x06 and 2x07.

First off, let's look at the Ned Low stuff.

"You know, if you kill me, you are a real pirate. You're not an amateur anymore. See? That's why he likes you. It's because of your bumbling amateur status. You're like a pet, I think."

There's been a running thread of Stede not being a real pirate all the way from S1 - "I'm not a pirate, I'm an idiot" (1x01), "pirates, my arse" (1x02), "what the fuck is you supposed to be?" (1x03), "you will get to see how real pirates operate in the real world" (1x05), "not one of these store-bought kinds" (1x07), "it only applies to real pirates" (1x09).

Ned has fully pressed down on the big red trauma button that other characters have been hammering all the way through S1, that Stede has been trying to ignore, but here and now, he can't: Stede's biggest fear remains that he was not and never will be enough for Ed.

It's not the first time another pirate has compared Stede to a pet either: Izzy, Fang and Ivan all said the same back in 1x06. Whether Stede has put together the pieces about Doggy Heaven, I don't know, but once again, we're shown that here is someone who definitely doesn't understand what is happening between Stede and Ed.

As much as Stede tried to convince himself "I am adequate" (1x02), the fear is still there that he's never going to be sufficient. "I think your life is better without me" (2x01).

Despite Ned saying that Ed wants to keep him an amateur, he's hurt and he's angry and he's seen his crew and his lover put in harm's way, so Ned is never going to get off that ship alive.

But it's also very telling that the instant Stede kills him, he immediately flashes back to one of his biggest and most recurring childhood traumas: the day his father told him that killing was a man's work and that he would never amount to anything because he was a soft-handed weak-hearted lily-livered little richboy.

We see/hear it or have it alluded to in 1x01, 1x02, 1x04, 1x08, 1x09, 1x10, 2x03, 2x06.

Letting Ned Low live - and have the chance to come back for vengeance - was never a choice, but this is the point where Stede has crossed a line he had never crossed before. "Killing. Having to kill" (1x01) sent him into a panic spiral in episode 1 and I have no doubt that if we get/got S3, once the panic and chaos died down, it would have snuck up on him like all his other traumas.

But let's continue into 2x07, where Stede has had a night with the man he loves, knows he's kept him safe, and isn't thinking about that stuff. Only then people start praising him for it. This is the man who hasn't been praised for anything before. He's wanted approval and acceptance his whole life and finally, now, he's got it. "Bonnet's the fuckin' dude".

It overwhelms him completely, much the same way as the attention from the party-ship people gave Ed the dopamine hits and made him escalate his behaviour. Stede starts acting up, showing off and - most significantly - chooses to spend his time in the company of an older man in a blood-soaked leather apron who won't stop telling him how fantastic he is. Our man isn't just wearing his daddy issues on his sleeve, he's taking them out and buying them a drink while they give him their approval.

Which is why Ed's departure comes as such a shock for him. For the first time in his life, Stede is accepted and appreciated. Ed even encouraged him at first, but then Ed's own traumas surrounding the pirate world reared up their ugly head. "I don't wanna go back to the old days, drinking all the time or cutting a bloke's toe off and feeding it to him for a laugh" (1x09)

And it's not that they're at odds with each other is the thing. They're at odds with themselves. Ed is panic-spiralling because he sees Stede stepping so easily into the world that he has come to hate and wants to leave behind. But for Stede, it's not about being a pirate - it's about the acceptance and appreciation of who he is, because he's never actually had that before.

He's behaving in the ways that are getting him the approval he's never had in his life and moving further and further away from "I don't like drinking til I puke or throwing coconuts at peoples' heads". He's becoming the Calico Jack kind of pirate, getting roaring drunk and throwing things - fatally - at people because "then I said a cool thing and people laughed".

Only because they don't talk to each other in ways that they can each understand, Stede is left with the belief that maybe Ed did like him as an amateur and despite doing "a man's work" he is still not enough. Meanwhile Ed thinks Stede really wants this kind of life, when he knows Ed wants away from it, because he has no idea what Stede is getting from it all.

Our lads are both so tangled up in their own fears and anxieties that they don't stop to wonder why the other is acting the way they are. Stede logically knows Ed doesn't want to be a pirate, but can't see why his own behaviour would be upsetting to Ed. Ed is fully aware of who Stede is as a person, yet the fear of him becoming more like the pirates he grew up around is overwhelming because it's been his whole life for so long.

Their own fears are crashing up against each other, but neither of them ever want to talk it through. Stede hides behind politeness and neutrality instead of saying what he's feeling (although he has made big steps on this front in S2) while Ed is so used to masking his real wants and needs in hypotheticals and metaphors.

S3 was going to see all those things come to light. Ed had already made a start, sitting with himself, but there was still more to come. Stede's issues which had been bottled up and tucked away ("that's the worst thing you can do, Frenchie!" (1x01)) but the pressure was building and it was going to fizz out like an overshaken champagne bottle in the end.

OFMD - Childhood Trauma the TV show. aka how to write the impact of PTSD and cPTSD on people and the way it impacts their behaviour, modes of communication and the decisions they make.

[mepuppy]

Let It Ride - Supernatural rewrite

I do not own the characters, nor the storylines. I'm simply adding a twist to the episodes. Please feel free to help me out with constructive criticism on the story or the writing. Sorry for the mistakes, not proofread and english is not my first language. Here's the secon episode, I hope you like it.

1x01

Word Count: 6,6k

1x02 - Wendigo 

Sam jerks awake from a nightmare. He is riding shotgun next to Dean on the Impala, with the Harley tailing them. Hot-Blooded by the Foreigner is playing on the radio. Sam blinks and rubs his eyes and Dean looks over, concerned.

“You okay?” he asks his younger brother, frowning. Sam glances over and away.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” he answers looking out the window. Dean nods and checks the rearview mirror to make sure the Harley is still there.

“Another nightmare?” He looks at his brother again. Sam clears his throat. “You wanna drive for a while?”

Sam laughs. “Dean, your whole life you never once asked me that.”

“Just thought you might want to. Never mind.” he says looking back to the road.

“Look, man, you're worried about me.” Sam says looking at his brother, “I get it, and thank you, but I'm perfectly okay.” he says grabbing a map and dean agrees skeptical. “All right, where are we?”

“We are just outside of Grand Junction.” he answers, looking back at the Harley again.

Sam folds down the map of Colorado that has a large red X labeled 35-111. “You know what?” he looks at Dean “Maybe we shouldn't have left Stanford so soon.” he says still thinking about Jess. 

Dean signals and stops on the side of the road. Y/n catches up and stops by his open window. “Sam, we dug around there for a week. We came up with nothing. If you wanna find the thing that killed Jessica—”

“We gotta find Dad first.” Sam agrees without looking up.

“Dad disappearing and this thing showing up again after twenty years, it's no coincidence.” Dean says looking between Sam and y/n. 

“Yeah. John will have answers. He'll know what to do.” Y/n dropped more her head to look at Sam.

“It's weird, guys.” he says, finally looking at his older ‘siblings’. “These coordinates he left us.” he pauses for a couple of seconds “This Blackwater Ridge.”

“What about it?” Dean looks back at him.

“There's nothing there. It's just woods.” Sam says putting down the map. “Why is he sending us to the middle of nowhere?”

The Impala and the Harley are parked next to a sign that says "RANGER STATION Lost Creek Trail, Lost Creek National Forest". 

“So Blackwater Ridge is pretty remote.” Y/n says looking at a 3D map of the national forest, paying particular attention to the ridge labeled "BLACKWATER RIDGE". Dean looks at the decorations.

“It's cut off by these canyons here, rough terrain, dense forest, abandoned silver and gold mines all over the place.” Sam points around talking to y/n.

“Dude, check out the size of this freaking bear.” Dean exclaims, astonished looking at a  framed photo of a man standing behind a much larger bear on the wall. Sam looks over and comes to stand next to Dean.

“And a dozen or more grizzlies in the area. It's no nature hike, that's for sure.” He finishes off looking over his shoulder to y/n.

A forest ranger, walks up behind them; when he speaks, the trio whip around, startled. “You kids aren't planning on going out near Blackwater Ridge by any chance?” the ranger says suspiciously.

“Oh, no, sir.” Y/n says smiling.

“We're environmental study majors from UC Boulder, just working on a paper.” Sam laughs a little creating a cover story. Dean grins and raises a fist.

“Recycle, man.” he says and the other two look at him frowning.

“Bull.” the ranger retorts, turning around. Sam's eyes flick to y/n, while she and Dean don't move. “You're friends with that Haley girl, right?”

Dean considers. “Yes. Yes, we are, Ranger Wilkinson.” he says after checking the ranger’s name tag.

“Well, I will tell you exactly what we told her. Her brother filled out a backcountry permit saying he wouldn't be back from Blackwater until the twenty-fourth, so it's not exactly a missing persons now, is it?” he asks looking at Dean again with one eyebrow raised. Dean shakes his head. “You tell that girl to quit worrying, I'm sure her brother's just fine.”

“We will.” he thinks about it and continues “Well that Haley girl's quite a pistol, huh?”

“That is putting it mildly.” the older man goes behind his desk and rests his mug on it.

“Actually you know what would help is if I could show her a copy of that backcountry permit. You know, so she could see her brother's return date.” The ranger eyes Dean, who simply raises his eyebrows smiling charmingly.

Dean, y/n and Sam leave the ranger station. Dean is holding a piece of paper and laughing.

“What, are you cruising for a hookup or something?” Sam asks.

“What do you mean?” Dean asks stopping and turning to hs brother.

“The coordinates point to Blackwater Ridge, so what are we waiting for? Let's just go find Dad. I mean, why even talk to this girl?” both Dean and y/n look back at him confused.

DEAN and SAM stop on opposite sides of the Impala.

“I don't know, maybe we should know what we're walking into before we actually walk into it?” Dean is on the driver’s side of the Impala, next to y/n, who is holding her Harley’s clutch, while Sam looks at them from the passenger’s side of Baby.

“What?” He looks at both, annoyed.

“Since when are you all shoot first ask questions later, anyway?” y/n asks tilting her head.

“Since now.” Sam turns away; opening the car door.

“Really?” Dean asking opening his side too and looking inside to Sam, who just shrugs. “Let´s go to this Hayley’s house.” He tells y/n and gets in the car.

They all stand at the door to a house. The door opens to reveal Haley Collins. “You must be Haley Collins. I'm Dean, this is Sam and y/n, we're… ah…” he looks at the two and back at the girl  “We're rangers with the Park Service. Ranger Wilkinson sent us over. He wanted us to ask a few questions about your brother Tommy.” 

Haley hesitates. “Lemme see some ID.” Dean pulls out a fake ID with the name 'Samuel Cole' and holds it up against the screen of the door. She looks at it, then at Dean, who smiles, then opens the door “Come on in.”

“Thanks.” y/n says smiling and entering the house. followed by the two men. Haley catches sight of the Impala.

“That yours?” she points at the car. 

Dean looks over his shoulder and smiles. “Yeah.” Sam and y/n are looking back at the Impala.

“Nice car.” She smiles back and turns to lead the trio into the kitchen. Y/n rolls her eyes at Dean’s face, looking back at the girl. Dean turns his head to mouth something to Sam, who also rolls his eyes. “This is my other brother Ben.” She says as they get to the kitchen and a boy is sitting at the table on a laptop.

“So if Tommy's not due back for a while, how do you know something's wrong?” Sam asks sitting down on a chair while Haley does too on the head of the table.

“He checks in every day by cell. He emails, photos, stupid little videos—we haven't heard anything in over three days now.” The girl says and looks over at y/n who’s sitting on her other side.

“Well, maybe he can't get cell reception.” she says looking back at the girl.

“He's got a satellite phone, too.” she answers shaking her head.

“Could it be he's just having fun and forgot to check in?” Dean asks knitting his brows and sitting by y/s side.

“He wouldn't do that.” Ben chimes in. Dean eyes the boy and he looks away. 

“Our parents are gone. It's just my two brothers and me. We all keep pretty close tabs on each other.” Haley explains looking at Dean.

“Can I see the pictures he sent you?” Sam asks and Haley agrees, getting up to grab a laptop. She pulls up pictures and turns the computer to the trio.

“That's Tommy.” She clicks twice and another picture comes up, then the still frame opens the latest video.

“Hey Haley, day six, we're still out near Blackwater Ridge. We're fine, keeping safe, so don't worry, okay? Talk to you tomorrow.” Tom says in the video and it ends.

“Excuse me.” Sam says pulling the computer and playing the video again.

“Well, we'll find your brother. We're heading out to Blackwater Ridge first thing.” y/n says turning to the girl and smiling reassuringly.

“Then maybe I'll see you there.” she looks back at the girl “Look, I can't sit around here anymore. So I hired a guy. I'm heading out in the morning, and I'm gonna find Tommy myself.”

“I think I know how you feel.” Dean tells her, looking between Haley and Ben.

“Hey, do you mind forwarding these to me?” Sam asks still looking at the computer screen and Haley agrees.

In a bar, the trio is sitting down at a table. Sam has John’s journal and y/n has some newspaper articles.

“So, Blackwater Ridge doesn't get a lot of traffic. Local campers, mostly. But still, this past April, two hikers went missing out there. They were never found.” she says, looking between the two men. Sam opens John's journal.

“Any before that?” Dean asks looking at her. She hands the newspaper articles to show him.

“Yeah, in 1982, eight different people all vanished in the same year. Authorities said it was a grizzly attack.” Dean reads over the headline “And again in 1959 and again before that in 1936.” While she explains what she found Sam pulls up and opens his laptop, which already has a window open to Tom's video. “Every twenty-three years, just like clockwork.”

“Here. Watch this.” he turns the computer screen to the side of the table y/n and Dean are sitting “Here's a clincher. I downloaded that guy Tommy's video to the laptop. Check this out.” Sam goes through three frames of the video one at a time. A shadow crosses the screen behind Tom.

“Do it again.” y/n asks looking intently at the screen. Sam repeats the frames.

“That's three frames. That's a fraction of a second. Whatever that thing is, it can move.” Dean hits Sam, making him and y/n look up..

“Told you something weird was going on.” Dean says without taking his eyes of the screen.

“Yeah.” The younger man answers, closing the laptop

“I got one more thing.” y/n says grabbing one article from the bottle of the pile and hands Sam “In 'fifty-nine one camper survived this supposed grizzly attack. Just a kid. Barely crawled out of the woods alive.”

Dean looks over at The Lost Creek Gazette.

“Is there a name?” the two ask in unison looking at the girl. who nods and gets up. “C’mon, I found his address already.” Outside the bar she heads to shotgun of the Impala.

“And…? What’s his name?” Sam asks following her, with Dean behind him. 

“Robert Shaw.” she says opening the door “I’ll go with you, I’ll just need to come back and grab Dixie afterwards.” she refers to the Harley. The two men take their respective seats, with Dean driving and Sam on the backseat.

This was the arrangement they always had growing up, since Sam is 2 years younger than her, she would normally be shotgun whenever it was just the three of them. And Dean being 2 years older than she was, normally, the designated driver, unless he had found a chick, then the two youngest had to figure out a way to go back to the motel by themselves. In the beginning Dean’s rendezvous bothered her a lot, because she always had a crush on him. With time she learned to ignore it, but whenever she thought about it, her stomach still turned.

Arriving at the old man’s building, they headed to the door and knocked. Using the ranger cover again, Mr. Shaw let them in.

“Look, ranger, I don't know why you're asking me about this. It's public record. I was a kid. My parents got mauled by a—” he stated walking inside the apartment with a cigarette on the corner of his mouth.

Sam interrupts the man “Grizzly? That's what attacked them?” Mr. Shaw takes a puff of his cigarette, takes it out, and nods.

“The other people that went missing that year, those were bear attacks too?” y/n asked looking at the man frowning. They all paused.

“What about all the people that went missing this year? Same thing?” Dean added. Another pause. “If we knew what we were dealing with, we might be able to stop it.” he continued.

“I seriously doubt that. Anyways, I don't see what difference it would make.” Mr. Shaw sits down on a recliner. “You wouldn't believe me. Nobody ever did.”

Sam sits down across from the old men. “Mr. Shaw, what did you see?”

He pauses again. “Nothing. It moved too fast to see. It hid too well. I heard it, though. A roar. Like...no man or animal I ever heard.”

“It came at night?” y/n asked looking between Sam and Mr. Shaw, the latter nods.

“ It got inside your tent?” Sam asks, trying to understand further.

“It got inside our cabin. I was sleeping in front of the fireplace when it came in. It didn't smash a window or break the door.” he looked from Sam to y/n “It unlocked it.” he looked back to Sam “Do you know of a bear that could do something like that? I didn't even wake up till I heard my parents screaming.”

“It killed them?” y/n asked with a calm voice.

“Dragged them off into the night.” Mr Shaw shakes his head. “Why it left me alive… been asking myself that ever since.” He pauses. And then his hands go to his collar. “Did leave me this, though.” The older man opens his collar to reveal three long scars. Claw marks. “There's something evil in those woods. It was some sort of a demon.”

The trio walk the length of a corridor with rooms on either side.

“Spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. If they want inside, they just go through the walls.” Dean says looking ahead.

“So it's probably something else, something corporeal.” Sam looks at him.

“Corporeal? Excuse me, professor.” Y/n asks, a tone of laugh in her voice.

“Shut up. So what do you guys think?” he says smiling.

“The claws, the speed that it moves...could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.” Dean answers also smiling.

“Whatever we're talking about, we're talking about a creature, and it's ‘corporeal’. Which means we can kill it.” Y/n looks at the two brothers.

On the next morning, Dean opens the trunk of the Impala, then the weapons box, and props it open with a shotgun. He puts some guns in a duffel bag, while y/n brings her own duffel over her shoulder. Sam leans in.

“We cannot let that Haley girl go out there.” he says looking at Dean then y/n.

“Oh yeah? What are we gonna tell her? That she can't go into the woods because of a big scary monster?” dean retorts knitting his brows when looking at Sam.

“Yeah.”

“Her brother's missing, Sam. She's not gonna just sit this out. Now we go with her, we protect her, and we keep our eyes peeled for our fuzzy predator friend.” Y/n tells him with a hand under his elbow. Dean picks up his duffel.

“Finding Dad's not enough?” Sam slams the weapons box shut, then the trunk. “Now we gotta babysit too?” Dean stares at Sam. “What?”

“Nothing.” he says and throws the duffel bag at Sam walking off. Sam looks over at y/n, who just shakes her head and follows Dean.

AT the forest, the Impala pulls up. Dean, Sam and Y/n get down and  find Haley, Ben and a man checking a shotgun, all with full backpacks.

“I'll tell you again, I don't think Ben should come.” The man tells Haley and shakes his head.

“Roy—” the girl looks at him.

“Look, you're paying me good money to keep everybody safe. I think Ben's safest at home.” Sam opens the back door of the Impala and pulls out two duffel bags, making Roy and Haley look in their direction.

“You guys got room for two more?” Dean asks as Y/n grab one of the duffel Sam is handing her.

“Wait, you want to come with us?” Haley asks, looking at Dean.

“Who are these guys?” Roy asks, getting closer to her.

“Apparently this is all the park service could muster up for the search and rescue.” Haley rolls her eyes and Sam heads past everyone. Y/n and Dean look at eachother.

���You're rangers?” Roy asks eyeing the two that are left.

“That's right.” Dean grins at them.

“And you're hiking out in biker boots and jeans?” Haley points at their feets and pants. Dean and y/n  look down at themselves.

“Well, sweetheart, I don't do shorts.” Dean winks and y/n rolls her eyes as they head past Haley.

“What, you think this is funny? It's dangerous back country out there. Her brother might be hurt.”

Sam and Y/n look back. “Believe me, I know how dangerous it can be. We just wanna help them find their brother, that's all.” Dean says passing Sam and Y/n..

The group hikes through the forest, Roy in the lead, then Dean, Haley, Ben, y/n and Sam bringing up the rear.

“Roy, you said you did a little hunting.” Dean looks up at the man in front of him “What kind of furry critters do you hunt?”

“Yeah, more than a little. Mostly buck, sometimes bear.” Roy walks slower.

As Dean passes Roy, he asks “Tell me, uh, Bambi or Yogi ever hunt you back?” Roy grabs Dean. Y/n looks on.

“Whatcha doing, Roy?” Dean asks more quietly staring at Roy. He grabs a stick and pokes the bear trap Dean had almost stepped in. Haley looks annoyed.

“You should watch where you're stepping. Ranger.” he drops the stick and retakes the lead.

“It's a bear trap.” Dean looks back at the rest of the group. Y/n rolls her eyes at Dean.

They hike on. Haley catches up to Dean. “You didn't pack any provisions. You guys are carrying duffel bags. You're not rangers.” Haley grabs Dean's arm, making y/n look up at them. “So who the hell are you?”

Ben passes Haley, Dean and y/n. Sam looks at Dean, who indicates with his expression that Sam and y/n can keep going; they obey, but y/n walks slower. 

“Sam and I are brothers, Y/n is our best friend since forever. And we're looking for our father. He might be here, we don't know. I just figured that you and me,” he looks her more intently “we're in the same boat.” Sam passes them.

“Why didn't you just tell me that from the start?” Haley asks confused.

“I'm telling you now. 'sides, it's probably the most honest I've ever been with a woman. ...ever.” he says. Y/n passes them agreeing. “So we okay?” He continues ignoring the girl. Haley pauses, but then agrees.”And what do you mean I didn't pack provisions?” Dean pulls out a big bag of peanut M&Ms and sticks his hand in the bag as he hikes on, tapping y/n on the shoulder and passing the bag to her afterwards. Haley waits a moment, then follows.

After a while  hiking Roy, still leading stops. “This is it. Blackwater Ridge.”

Sam heads past Roy. “What coordinates are we at?” he asks and Roy pulls a GPS out reading it.

“Thirty-five and minus one-eleven.”

 Y/n comes up to Sam. “You hear that?” she asks the younger man.

“Yeah. Not even crickets.” he answers as Dean reaches them.

“I'm gonna go take a look around.” the guide says rearranging his backpack.

“You shouldn't go off by yourself.” Y/n warns him, looking at the man.

“That's sweet, honey. Don't worry about me.” he waves his gun and pushes between Dean and Sam to retake the lead. They turn back to the others as Ben and Haley catch up.

“All right, everybody stays together. Let's go.” Y/n sighs and tells the rest annoyed at Roy.

“Haley! Over here!” Haley runs towards Roy's voice, followed closely by the others. They come to a halt.

“Oh my God.” she says, alarmed. The tents are torn open and bloody and all the supplies are scattered.

“Looks like a grizzly.” Roy says holding a torn out part of a tent. The rest looks around.

“Tommy?” Haley takes off her backpack and goes through the campsite. “Tommy!” Sam moves to catch up with Haley, shushing her. “Why?”

“Something might still be out there.” he says looking around the woods.

“Sam! Y/n!” they head over to Dean, and crouch next to him. “The bodies were dragged from the campsite. But here, the tracks just vanish. That's weird.” They stand up.

“I'll tell you what, that's no skinwalker or black dog.” y/n tells the two men looking between them. Back at the campsite Haley is crying over Tom’s cellphone.

“Hey, he could still be alive.” Dean tells her when he’s close enough. She gives him a look.

“Help! Help!” a man’s voice yells from the woods. Roy leads the way as everyone drops their gear and runs to the aid of the shouter. “Help! Somebody!” They find no one.

“It seemed like it was coming from around here, didn't it?” Haley says agitated. They listen.

“Everybody back to camp.” Sam says turning and already heading back. At the campsite, all the supplies are missing.

“Our packs!” Haley says, looking around.

“So much for my GPS and my satellite phone.” Roy complains.

“What the hell is going on?” Haley asks fearful looking between Roy and Dean.

“It's smart. It wants to cut us off so we can't call for help.” Y/n says and looks at Sam.

“You mean someone, some nutjob out there just stole all our gear.” Roy looks at her and throws his arms up.

Sam goes to Y/n and Dean. 

“I need to speak with you two. In private.” They head a little ways away from the group. “Good. Let me see Dad's journal.” Dean hands it over. Sam opens it and flips through until he finds a particular page while the other two look at him. “All right, check that out.” He points to a First Nations–style drawing of a figure.

“Oh come on, wendigos are in the Minnesota woods or, or northern Michigan. I've never even heard of one this far west.” Dean tells Sam looking back at his brother.

“Yeah, but think about it, Dean. The claws, the way it can mimic a human voice. It actually makes sense.” Y/n exclaims still looking at the page.

“Great.” Dean takes out his pistol. “Well then this is useless.” Sam hands the journal back to Dean.

Sam started going back to the group, but stops and turns “We gotta get these people to safety.” Dean and y/n look at each other and sigh. Back at the campsite, Sam addresses the group. “All right, listen up, it's time to go. Things have gotten...more complicated.”

“What?” Haley asks.

“Kid, don't worry. Whatever's out there, I think I can handle it.” Roy tries to be the alpha again and Sam cut him off.

“It's not me I'm worried about. If you shoot this thing, you're just gonna make it mad. We have to leave. Now.” He looks back to Haley and Ben.

“One, you're talking nonsense. Two, you're in no position to give anybody orders.” Roys takes a step towards Sam.

“Relax.” “Hey!” Y/n and Dean say at the same time stepping closer to Sam and Roy.

“We never should have let you come out here in the first place, all right? I'm trying to protect you.” Sam looks back to Roy who steps right into Sam's space.

“You protect me? I was hunting these woods when your mommy was still kissing you good night.” He looks up, since Sam is taller than him, with a snare on his face.

“Well, this thing it's a damn near perfect hunter.” Y/n says as she and Dean go closer to them and put themselves between the two.

“It's smarter than you, and it's gonna hunt you down and eat you alive unless we get your stupid sorry ass out of here.” Sam tries to get closer to Roy but y/n has a hand on his chest and he doesn’t press it.

Roy laughs. “You know you're crazy, right?”

“Yeah? You ever hunt a wen—” Y/n pushes Sam and Dean comes with her looking at Sam. 

“Chill out.” Dean yells in Sam’s face at the same time Haley calls Roy out.

“Stop. Stop it. Everybody just stop. Look. Tommy might still be alive. And I'm not leaving here without him.” She comes closer to Roy.

“Look, it's getting late. This thing is a good hunter in the day, but an unbelievable hunter at night.” Y/n started.

“We'll never beat it, not in the dark. We need to settle in and protect ourselves.” Dean continues and look back at the girl he grew up with.

“How?” Haley asks.

It was already night and the group has built a campfire, and Dean and Y/n draw something in the dirt around the campsite while Haley pokes at the fire.

“One more time, that's…” Haley asks looking at the two.

“Anasazi symbols. It's for protection. The wendigo can't cross over them.” Dean explains again to the girl. Roy laughs, gun over his shoulder.

“Nobody likes a skeptic, Roy.” y/n tells the guide as she heads over to sit next to Sam, who is at the edge of the campsite.

“You wanna tell me what's going on in that freaky head of yours?” she asks, trying to look in his eyes. 

“Y/N, I…” He starts but Dean cuts him off getting to them and sitting by y/n side, using her knee as support.

“No, you're not fine. You're like a powder keg, man, it's not like you. I'm supposed to be the belligerent one, remember?” Dean says, scolding him.

“He has a point.” Y/n smiles and points Dean with her head. A pause.

“Dad's not here. I mean, that much we know for sure, right? He would have left us a message, a sign, right?” Sam looks at Dean and waits for an answer.

“Yeah, you're probably right. Tell you the truth, I don't think Dad's ever been to Lost Creek.” Dean looks down, then back to Sam.

“Then let's get these people back to town and let's hit the road. Go find Dad. I mean, why are we still even here?”

“This is why.” Dean takes his hand off y/n knee and holds up John's journal. “This book. This is Dad's single most valuable possession—everything he knows about every evil thing is in here. And he's passed it on to us. I think he wants us to pick up where he left off. You know, saving people, hunting things.” 

“The family business.” Y/n finishes Dean’s sentence. He smiles at her and she smiles back.

Sam shakes his head. “That makes no sense. Why doesn't he just… call us? Why doesn't he… tell us what he wants, tell us where he is?”

“I dunno. But the way I see it, Dad's giving us a job to do, and I intend to do it.” He looks back at his brother

“Dean...no. I gotta find Dad. I gotta find Jessica's killer. It's the only thing I can think about.”

“Okay, all right, Sam, we'll find them, I promise.” Dean tells him

“Listen to me, Sammy. You've gotta prepare yourself. I mean, this search could take a while, and all that anger, you can't keep it burning over the long haul. It's gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man.” Y/n tells him and grabs his hand, making him look at her.

Sam looks down, then up again. “How do you do it? How does Dad do it?”

Y/n looks over at Haley and Ben. “Well for one, them.” Sam follows her gaze.

“Besides, I figure our family's so screwed to hell, maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little bit more bearable.” Dean continues also looking at the siblings by the fire. He pauses and looks at Y/n. “Also, I'll tell you what else helps.” Her eyes meet his.

Sam looks back at Dean.

“Killing as many evil sons of bitches as we possibly can.” The three smile. A twig snaps.

They all hear a voice, probably the WENDIGO “Help me! Please!” Dean stands and readies his gun. “Help!” Sam shines a flashlight about.

“He's trying to draw us out. Just stay cool, stay put.” y/n tells everyone and goes closer to the campfire and the siblings.

“Inside the magic circle?” Roy retorts, laughing without humor.

“Help! Help me!” And then a growl starts. 

Roy points his gun at the sound. “Okay, that's no grizzly.”

“It's okay. You'll be all right, I promise.” Haley tells Ben in particular. Another sound sounds closer and she shrieks.

“It's here.” Sam says.

Roy shoots at the rustling, then again. “I hit it!” Roy says and goes to see what he hit.

“Roy, no! Roy!” Dean yells and turns back to Haley and Ben. “Don't move.” Dean, Y/n and Sam run after Roy.

“It's over here! It's in the tree!” they hear the guide up front, but the wendigo reaches down from the tree and snaps Roy's neck.

“Roy!” Sam shines the flashlight around, then they head back to camp.

The next day, after a night taking turns to keep watch, Sam and Y/n are sitting against a hollow tree stump, Sam is holding John's journal and playing with a lanyard attached to it and she has her head on his shoulder with her eyes closed. Dean, Haley and Ben are among the tents.

“Can I ask you something?” Sam starts without taking his eyes off the journal.

“Mm-hm” the girl murmurs not moving.

“Why weren’t you with Dad? Before he disappeared?” he tries to look at her without making her move.

“Well…” she starts and pauses for a couple of seconds  “I was supposed to be with Dean, on his hunt. But headed to Bobby’s for a while.  She sighs and pauses again.

“Why?” he insists.

“Ah, you know…” she looks at him, still laying on his shoulder. When she realizes he isn’t dropping it, she stands up and sighs again. “I don’t know. The two of us went to a lot of hunts by ourselves this last year. And, sometimes, when is just the two of us…” she looks ahead and finds Dean talking to Haley “it gets a little weird, the tension, and stuff. It wasn’t always, it was actually spreaded…” She looks back to Sam “But still, I needed some time away from him.”

“You still have a crush on him.” Sam half states-half questions, because of course Sam knew. He was her confident when the subject was Dean. And he never told Dean, the same way he never told her all the things Dean always said about her to him. Even though sometimes he just wanted to put both of them in a locked room and just let them leave after they talked about their feelings.

She doesn't answer him, just gives him a sad smile and gets up, holding a hand to him. He takes it and they head towards the group. They decide to go explore. Dean leads the way through the woods, Molotov cocktail in hand. Y/n follows then, Haley and Ben, then Sam. They pass trees with claw marks and blood.

“Dean.” y/n calls the older man to the side. 

Dean catches up. “What is it?”

They look around at the trees. There are bloody claw marks and broken branches everywhere. “You know, I was thinking, those claw prints, so clear and distinct. They were almost too easy to follow.” 

They all hear a growl. Sam whips around. Trees rustle. Blood drips on y/n’s shirt. Dean notices and looks up, then pushes her out of the way; Roy’s corpse lands where they’d stood seconds before. Sam examines Roy as Dean gets up and helps y/n

“You okay? You got it?” he asks as she takes his hand to get up. She nods and mouths a ‘thank you’ as Sam speaks.

“His neck's broken.” More growling.

“Okay, run, run, run, run, go, go, go!” Dean says as he starts running still holding Y/n’s hand so she follows. Everybody takes off.

Ben falls and Sam hurries back to help him up, dividing the group three and two.

“Come on, I gotcha, I gotcha.” Sam tells Ben as he helps him up. Dean, Haley and Y/n stop short; the wendigo is in front of them. Haley screams.

“Haley?” Ben yells back. 

Dean drops the molotov. And they hear Sam’s yell “Dean! Y/n!”

The wendigo has an unconscious Haley on one shoulder and is pulling Dean and Y/n by the ankles on each hand. She looks at Dean and mouths ‘M&M’s’. He looks at her confused. They know it won’t do any good to fight the Wendigo the way they are now. So their best shot is giving Sam a chance to find them. She held out her hand to Dean and he carefully took the bag of candy from his pocket and handed it to her.

She grabs and opens it without making too much noise. Then starts to drop one M&M every couple of steps. When the wendigo raised them from the floor Dean’s head hit a rock and he passed out. She was worried about him, but kept doing her task of leaving Sam’s trail. After they got to its lair, the thing dropped Dean and y/n, leaving her unconscious as well.

Sam and Ben look up after falling through the floor; Dean, y/n and Haley are hanging by their wrists from the ceiling. Sam runs to Dean.

“Dean! Dean!” Sam grabs and shakes dean while Ben is calling Haley. “Dean!” Dean opens his eyes. Hey, you okay?” Dean winces.

“Where’s, Y/n?” Dean asks looking around and spotting her, but when Sam cuts him down he almost falls to the floor.

“I’m going to her now. Calm down. Sit here!” Sam helps him to an empty patch on the floor and goes to y/n who’s still unconscious. Ben passes him with Haley, after releasing her. “Y/n! Wake up! Hey, how are you?”

She opens her eyes slowly and a pained look crosses her face. “I’m amazing.” she says faintly. “Dean?” she asks weakly. 

“Right here.” he answer her from his spot, already standing up and going to her and Sam to help out, groaning. Meanwhile, Haley spots Tom, still hanging and starts crying.

“Tommy…” Haley touches Tom's cheek. His head jerks up. Haley jumps back and shrieks. She turns to Sam. “Cut him down!” Sam heads to them and cuts him down. “We're gonna get you home.”

The stolen supplies are piled in the corner. Dean picks up flare guns. “Check it out.”

“Flare guns. Those'll work.” Y/n grins and Sam smiles. Dean laughs and twirls the guns. They head down a tunnel, Dean and Sam in the lead with the flare guns and with y/n between them, and Haley and Ben supporting Tom, who is limping. They hear a growl.

“Looks like someone's home for supper.” Dean looks back at the siblings behind them.

“We'll never outrun it.” Haley looks at the hunters frightened.

Dean looks back at Sam and y/n. “You thinking what I'm thinking?” she nods and Sam answers.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“All right, listen to me. Stay with Sam. He's gonna get you out of here.” y/n says.

“What are you gonna do?” Hayley looks between Dean and y/n.

Dean frowns and looks at  her. “no, you’re going with them.”

“I’m not leaving you behind alone! Don’t even try it.”

Dean chuckles and shakes his head looking at the floor. He looks back at Haley and winks, starting to walk back hand in hand to the girl he spent most of his life with.

“Chow time, you freaky bastard!” She yells, smiling back at Dean.

“Yeah, that's right, bring it on, baby, We taste good.” He looks ahead and yells too.

Sam waits until Dean and y/n are a safe distance away and looks back at the three siblings. “All right, come on! Hurry!” The Collinses follow Sam down the tunnel. They hear a growling sound. Sam points the gun at it, then lowers the gun and turns to the Collinses. “Get him outta here.” “Sam, no.” Haley starts.

“Go! Go! Go!” Sam tells them and turns back to the mine.

“Come on, Haley!” Ben starts pulling his sister to the entrance of the mine. Sam holds the flare gun ready to shoot, looking down the tunnel.

“Come on. Come on.” Sam yells and the growling intensifies. Sam turns and: the wendigo is right in his face. Sam shoots and misses, then runs after the Collinses. “Get behind me.” Sam is large enough to hide all three Collinses. The wendigo approaches, taking its time.

“Hey!” they hear Dean’s voice. The wendigo turns. Y/n shoots it in the stomach. The flare goes off and the wendigo goes up in flames. “Not bad, huh?” Dean asks and y/n grins at Sam.

An ambulance loads up Tom. Two police officers interview Ben while Sam stands behind him. A paramedic cleans the last cut in y/n’s cheek. When she sees Ben and Sam leaving the officers side and head to Dean and Haley, who have been patched up already. 

Y/n sees Dean smirking lasciviously at Haley, she says something and he nods laughing. The paramedic tells the girl she’s all done and she thanks him. Not wanting to head in Dean’s direction, but everyone’s there already. Another paramedic calls Haley and she followed him, not before leaving a kiss on Dean's cheek. Y/n’s stomach turns, but she looks down.

“Man, I hate camping.” Dean says as soon as y/n reaches the Impala and sits down next to him.

“Me too.” “Yeah.” Sam and her answer him.

“Sam,” she looks past Dean at him, “you know we're gonna find John, right?”

“Yeah, I know. But in the meantime?” He turns his eyes to Dean “I'm driving.”

Dean looks down at his keyes, as he considers it. He throws them in the air and Sam grabs it. Y/n runs to shotgun and gets in the car, when Dean realizes, he looks at her incredulously.

“You snooze, you lose, Winchester.” she winks at him when Sam enters the driver’s seat. Looking at the sky Dean heads to the backseat. Sam turns the keyes and ‘Fly By Night’ by Rush begins to play while they drive off.

Taglist:

@stillhere197 @lmhf1

[darkpoisonouslove]

HotD S02E06

This show is exhausting, the fandom - even more so. I didn't even want to write this but I hate not finishing stuff I've already started and abandoning my "reviews" halfway through the season just didn't sit right with me. Also, I guess I do want to bitch even if I would be infinitely happier if I didn't have to. There is good news, though, and that's the fact that I did like this episode more than the last one! These thoughts might not be in order because I cannot be bothered to open the episode again and look through it:

Daemon is so funny for real. He has NOT caught on to the fact that Alys is playing him. I think this might be more misogyny from him, though. Look at it - he is blaming Simon, who is allegedly in charge of all of Harrenhal and he is absolutely not clocking Alys despite the fact that she literally gave him a potion to drink. He cannot perceive that there might be some kind of other power different from being a lord/king.

I do not know why Alys is helping him tbh. I guess she sees how pathetic his state and that of the entire team Black is and she figures that if she doesn't help, the war will be over soon. So if her motive is prolonging the war to ensure both sides take as many hits as possible, then she probably wants to end the Targaryens/dragons. It's really funny how they are making team Black the underdogs, however. What, with Daemon alienating all of the Riverlands houses and the loss of Rhaenys and their largest dragon, they are presented at a severe disadvantage. In the book, though, team Black has more dragons and more houses that support them... and they still fucking lose. Guess we know why the writers are "adapting" the situation to make them look like they will come out on top from a worse initial position but it's really funny because who fucking fumbled the Riverlands, guys? It was Daemon! He had one job and the only reason he might come back from his mistake is because Alys probably wants to see all Targaryens dead. What a funny way to present your "heroes".

Love how they also made Alys say that Rhaenyra should get the crown because she's never wanted it. I guess that conversation in 1x02 where Rhaenys warned her it would all lead to war because the men of the realm won't accept her as queen and Rhaenyra's response boiled down to "Fuck them! I will have my crown!" was just some kind of dream we mass hallucinated then. Istg this writing is a fucking joke. I don't think the writers are aware that adapting something doesn't mean "do the exact opposite of the main theme of the source material", which they are doing by insisting Rhaenyra has some kind of divine right to the throne. Read. The. Fucking. Book!

The way they're "adapting" Aemond is killing me so I don't even want to talk about it. I just have to say that the Aemond from 1x09 would never do what he's doing right now. I could be repeating myself but the fact that he regretted accidentally killing the boy that slashed out his eye and mutilated him but burned his own brother in cold blood (and was essentially torturing him in this episode) over one minute of Aegon reverting to bullying him like he did during their childhood is nonsensical af. Not to mention that he already had the chance to be king. Aegon literally begged him to let him run away so that he could be free and Aemond would be king and he didn't do it because he respected his mother's wishes. I do not buy that he would change that much over the course of 2 months.

Having Aemond insult the one other disabled character and call him a toad (and torture the other disabler character besides himself aka his brother) was not great. Trying to marry Alicent off after everything that's happened to her? I think the fuck not (at least he didn't insist on that)!

I was thinking that it would be much more suspenseful if Rhaenyra's first attempt at finding more dragon riders was unsuccessful because imagine how much harder it would be to continue with more attempts - both because of her conscience and because all the other candidates would probably not want to risk their lives on what appears to be a doomed cause. In fact, I was so wrapped up in that scene, I didn't even realize that since it was Seasmoke that they were trying to match with a rider, it obviously wouldn't be successful since Addam was to be Seasmoke's new rider. Then they did the horrible death in dragon fire and I thought we were on the same page only for them to take the easy way out and make Seasmoke hunt down the one person that he would accept as a rider. What a cop-out! Make Rhaenyra make the hard choices! Without dragon riders more people on her side would die! She should have pushed through with the plan until she found a rider! Not this convenient way to absolve her of responsibility for risking more people's lives!

Please, tell me there will be more development with Rhaena and the wild dragon. Why would you tell us there's a wild dragon if nothing will be done about it? Frankly, I am more invested in the potential of this situation than half the other subplots on the show.

I have to say I am... concerned as to what's going on with Otto. First, Aemond wants to get him back as Hand, which is a red flag already. With Otto there the chaos and blunders would be minimized, which is definitely not what they would be aiming for at this point. Then Alicent says that Otto hasn't answered her letters. I'm really starting to think that he's dead. Either that or he's in the middle of some shenanigans. I hope it's the latter.

"Oh, was it the Red Keep or was it their mother?" Yeah, that's right! Their mother. Their single. Fucking. Parent! Since Viserys couldn't be fucking bothered with any of his children from Alicent. Do keep telling us how she is at fault for how they turned out and not the constant neglect and obvious preference for their sister that they suffered from their father. I'm sure that sitting there with your eye slashed out while your father refuses to do anything for you and your sister demands that you be tortured further wouldn't have been life-altering for Aemond if it weren't for Alicent's failure as a mother. I get that Alicent would feel responsible with the way that things are going but I do not trust this show (and especially not the fans) to not frame it like it's the truth. Just fucking give us Daeron already (probably won't happen this season). At least her scene by Aegon's bedside was good!

Speaking of Aegon, I do want to see how things will develop with him from now on! He managed to save himself from Aemond for now but Larys' monologue is really getting my hopes up (silly me) that we will see an evolution of Aegon where he will truly start using his mind now and grow smarter and more cunning. I shouldn't hope but that would be amazing!

I find it curious that Daemon has managed to make some emotional progress by being there for Viserys (in the visions) when Viserys is dead in reality. Rhaenyra is the one who's still alive and needs him but he's loudly proclaimed his intentions to take the throne for himself and betray her and there hasn't been any indication that he's changed his mind about that. So basically, he's only able to "be there" for Viserys because Viserys isn't an obstacle to him anymore, doesn't hold any power that could allow him to take away what Daemon most desires while Rhaenyra is still very much a symbol of Daemon "being robbed of what he deserves". It don't count if it won't hurt, Daemon! Maybe try making nice with the relative that's still alive!

I have seen people say that it's stupid for the small folk to say Rhaenyra cares about them when she's the one implementing the sea blockade and that's true to an extent but I think the bigger reason for the riot was that they were convinced there was food but the Greens were hoarding it. I can kind of understand that but imagine that you're starving so much that you're grateful to the person that implemented a food blockade in the first place for sending you food and then... you start throwing the food you were so desperate for at the royals instead of... idk fucking eating it. Even if Rhaenyra sent an excess, you'd still fucking need to eat tomorrow. Also, isn't it funny how the book describes Alicent and Helaena both as beloved by the small folk while the show makes them the target of the riot? I am sure that was a completely innocent, unbiased change on the writers' part.

I understand Rhaenyra's frustration with everyone talking like Daemon will come to save her. As if he can get anything done. I do think that maybe Jace didn't mean it in that way but was trying to reinforce the idea that she should stay protected and let others fight instead of her because without her everything is lost. Finally, a complex situation that makes their relationship more interesting! Can't wait to see what might happen if the thing with Mysaria continues, though I do have my doubts about that. Rhaenyra has really been feeling the effects of losing Rhaenys' support and Mysaria is the only one that's shown faith in her. It could be treated like a weak moment for Rhaenyra where she was seeking reassurance. I'm hearing that a lot of people thought that scene was blasphemy and I'm glad that at least we, here on tumblr, are fucking normal about it aka we're celebrating it. Frankly, both Rhaenyra and Mysaria deserve better than Daemon so I hope they keep making out and more.

[goodwhump-temp]

Edward Elric Whump - Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

1x01 Fullmetal Alchemist: Stabbed in the shoulder, hospitalized 1x02 The First Day: Loses leg and arm, bleeding out, wheelchair, emotional 1x05 Rain of Sorrows: Arm destroyed, weak, emotional 1x06 Road of Hope: Limbs painfully reatached 1x08 The Fifth Laboratory: Stabbed multiple times, bleeding out, dizzy, weak, beaten, knocked out, hospitalized 1x09 Created Feelings: Slapped, emotional episode, traumatic flashback, GUILT 1x12 One is All, All is One: Nightmare, flashback: abandoned, disgusted, emotional for ants 1x13 Beasts of Dublith: Beaten up, bleeding 1x14 Those Who Lurk Underground: Bandaged & bruised 1x15 Envoy From the East: Bandaged, arm taken off 1x20 Father Before the Grave: Guilt, nightmare, storm hurts automail, horrible aches, throws up multiple times 1x21 Advance of the Fool: Playing bait, rock to the head, bleeding 1x24-26 (Inside the Belly to Reunion): Swallowed 1x26 Reunion: Emotional, weak, giving up,collapse, unconscious, eaten again/eaten inceptio/eaten in an eat/swallowed x2/give him a break, hurt arm 1x28 Father: Exhausted, crushed by greed, arm locked 1x33 The Northern Wall of Briggs: Automail aches/being frozen, held at gunpoint 1x35 The Shape of This Country: Imprisoned 1x36 Family Portrait: Intense hostage situation 1x38 Conflict at Baschool: Tired 1x41 The Abyss: Choked by chimera, falls, caught in building collapse, impaled, intense blood loss, passes out, dying, extreme pain, tries to walk, collapse, unconscious 1x44 Revving at Full-throttle: Taken "hostage" 1x47 Emissary of Darkness: In danger from pride & gluttony 1x48 The Oath in the Tunnel: Fighting pride, exhausted 1x52 Combined Strength: Trapped, almost killed 1x57-59 (Eternal Leave to Lost Light): Captured in front of his friends 1x59 Lost Light: Sliced cheek, forcefully restrained 1x61 He Who Would Swallow God: Beaten, tortured 1x62 A Fierce Counterattack: Weak, choked, pinned by barbed wire, bleeding, in danger 1x63 The Other Side of the Gateway: Emotional