#1) so fucked of him

[elucubrare]

there's this horrible school of attempted literary criticism on here that holds that 1. everything in any given author's work is autobiographical, especially if it seems "real" and 2. those themes seeped into the work subconsciously, revealing something about the author that they're either trying to hide or unaware of themself. it drives me up a wall, since it seems to deny the fundamental skills that make people good writers: the empathy to imagine and portray experiences that one hasn't had oneself and the ability to take one's personal emotional experiences or worldview and fold them, consciously, into the unworked clay of a narrative.

[garuye]

[nevvn]

om advent calendar day 1: lucifer

[vaguely-concerned]

the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh

[inkskinned]

one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.

the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.

like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.

but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.

so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.

i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?

but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?

sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?

and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.

nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.

the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!

and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.

[l3viat8an]

I need to ride Levi until he’s shaking whimpering whining and cumming endlessly🤤

Nsfw!

you get me, nonnie <3 gods riding Levi turning him into an utter mess until he’s whimpering sounds amazing-

Watching Levi’s eyes roll to the back of his head, his pretty moans mixed with whines and broken pleas for more… he sounds so desperate as you bounce up and down on his cock, taking advantage of being on top to set whatever pace you want. Rolling your hips into his faster and faster just to slow down and drag it out~

He leaves scratches claw marks down your back and across your ass, it all feels too good for him to control himself… his face is bight red and he can’t even keep eye contact with you-

Yet he’s still begging, whining, hell he’s even drooling and he can’t stop cumming. As you pull orgasm after orgasm out of him (lucky demons recover quickly-)

Saying Levi is overstimulated is definitely an understatement…. But he’s past the point of wanting you to stop, instead he want- he needs you to keep going, it’s all he needs right now… you to keep riding him just like this. Like all he is, is a toy for you to use however you want.

All while you suck and nip hickeys into his neck and lower. He does the same to you, sooo many bite marks cover your own neck, shoulders, even across your chest marking every orgasm he’s had so far.

Levi thighs are coved in sweat mixing with yours and his cum… it’s sticky and a little gross but it feels so fucking good right now- and he’s going to cum again- he tries to warn you, whimpering that you need to slow down but you don’t. Instead speeding up to push him over the edge again, tug on his hair, clench your cunt around him-

Fuckkk the moans he lets out when he cums for the nth time sounds heavenly to your ears. His nails dig into your ass again while he rocks up into you, riding out his last orgasm… as a new set of teeth marks join the others already turning reddish-purple on your chest.

Levi has tears running down his cheeks as babbles and clings to you for comfort, he practically melts against you as you give it to him. Your soft voice whisper sweet praise right in his ear, telling him he’s your good boy, giving him so many sweet kisses all over his face…

It’s all he wants now, all he needs. You’re all he needs.

[ironshieldchild]

EVERYONE is sleeping on this seong gi hun btw

[pangur-and-grim]

Belphie is such an interesting kitten, compared to the other two.

baby Grim presented some challenges, because she loved to destroy property (mostly climbing various shelves and mantles and knocking everything she could to the floor), she was mildly aggressive toward Marmaduke the family cat (she felt that at the ripe age of 4 months, she deserved to be king), and she was fairly aloof for a kitten, more into running about than cuddling. in most ways, she was like a tiny mafia boss.

Pangur I instantly soul-bonded with, because she was so sickly and pathetic. and neurotic, too - everything was scary to her, people, places and animals. she’d explore the house and play, but there was always an ‘expecting an eagle to swoop down and grab her’ energy.

now Belphie! he’s a healthy active boy with zero fear, and zero aggression, but (fortunately or unfortunately) someone cranked his Play button to maximum and then broke off the handle. he is either fast asleep, and the cutest kitten on earth, or racing about and flailing and climbing and pouncing. which means that he can’t be let outside the kitten room unsupervised yet, because his baby willpower is only so strong, and he will eventually break and start jumping on Pangur and Grim. so in a way, he’s the healthiest happiest cat I’ve ever had, but he’s also the most complicated, because he still has to spend most of his time jailed in the kitten room.

[tinseltownie]

I am just seeing these for the first time just now

[pretend-i-don-t-exist]

ok back to that time travel au

it doesn't take long before people begin to point out the inconsistencies between sy's and sj's behavior with suspicion. after all, sy's generally sunny disposition is rather striking when compared to sj's aloofness and cold expressions. that could be attributed to a life-changing event or enlightenment, but still, people gossip, and with sj's reputation, they talk about it badly.

so sy, in a panic, tries to subtly show his similarities with sj. it doesn't go very well, like all his plans. but when he does give up, they are suddenly very similar.

sy, fussing over the junior disciples of qing jing peak: do you remember what to do?

yqy, about to reassure sy that the disciples will be safe on their one day field trip with qiong ding's disciples: ?

the disciples: make sure we always have our robes and guans with protective arrays on! also create a protective array on the ground and on our tents and ban intruders! never agree to anything qiong ding says and keep everything we say vague! always establish an oath if we do agree to anything. and if they try to hurt us, kill them and go to shizun because he will take care of it!

sy, proud: good.

yqy, remembering sj's paranoia: *worry intensifies*

qqq, in a peak lord meeting: so there is this one disciple i have that has a horrible, abusive husband. she's planning on running away, will it be feasible for qiong ding and an ding to create a new identity for her?

sy, reading a book bc all pl meetings are boring past or present or future: she should kill her husband. brutally. piece of shit.

the peak lords: ...

sy, an overprotective brother to one adorable and troublemaking little sister: should burn down the household too before she leaves. better yet, fake her death in the fire.

sj, strangely proud and comforted bc this kinder version of him also has his viciousness: and make sure there are no witnesses and evidence left behind.

sy, remembering qiu haitang, staring at sj: yes. make sure there are no witnesses left behind.

[not-eli]

Luke: You burn your favourite food FOR THE GODS so THE GODS can listen to you and if you're lucky THE GODS PERCY THE GODS will answer your pray so if you want go ask THE GODS something you want

Percy:

Percy: hey mom-

[mr-malumm]

Mastermind posting 😋😋

Also what definitely would have happened if 1 and 2 saw what was going down BAHAHAHAH 💜💜💜

[formulanni]

Diva alert

Tag list: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time @the-wall-is-my-goal @albonoooo @ch3rubd0lls

[vaguely-concerned]

huh. you know something I just consciously put together for the first time about caterina and lucanis' relationship is that through the game we get to hear them talk about each other a lot, but we get very few chances to hear them speak with each other at any length at all. contrast it with other companions whose storylines have elements of 'believed lost/long time no see relative returns!' like bellara and davrin, where we get to see both of them have several pretty in-depth conversations with cyrian and eldrin. hell I think even rook talks with varric longer in the regret prison scene than we ever get to see lucanis and caterina interact directly.

(and when we do see them interact, it's mostly one-sided -- it is, perhaps unsurprisingly, caterina who is doing most of the talking and giving all the orders, as he ruefully observes is her wont after murder of crows. including jumpscaring him with 'you're first talon now btw' and the shocked pikachu face in five acts he goes through in response lmao. perhaps it's more accurate to say that she talks at him and he reacts, than that they talk to each other much.)

it has such an interesting effect too, because in deliberately denying us direct insight or experience and only having this mosaic of description from each of them to go on, as well as forcing us to pay attention to the negative space of what is carefully not said, it's evocative along the same principle that you never actually show the monster in a horror film. if you've read the wigmaker job you have a clearer image of the more uh. worrying elements at play here going in, but there is something fascinatingly insidious and naturalistic in the way it's 'hushed up' in the game itself. she has his complete loyalty both as a member of her house and, more importantly, that of an abused child to a parent figure. he readily admits several times that she's a difficult person to live with, an even more difficult person to be loved by ("even for me. and I was her favourite")... but never once does he actively blame her nor truly conceptualize that he has every right to do so (that he can be angry with her and still love her, because whether he should or not he unavoidably does), or that she might have acted differently than she did, that she made a choice every time to hurt him. even affectionately he speaks of her as a force of nature, an act of god -- something that can't be reasoned or pleaded with or resisted, something you can only hope to navigate with as little pain as possible and pray to survive. let yourself get carried away by the riptide, resisting it will only make it worse. you don't compromise with a hurricane, you just try to find the best shelter you can and cross your fingers while you wait for it to pass and be calm again.

love is that hurricane. you do whatever she asks. you earn her continued affection day by day by never letting her down. you only want the things she tells you it's okay to want and cut everything else away preemptively. ("A wyvern tooth dagger?? I loved wyverns as a boy --Caterina would never let me have one of these, though." and as we have all wept and gnashed our teeth over, it never even OCCURS to him that he's a like thirty-five year old adult man who can buy himself any dagger he wants at any time. she said he couldn't have one. so he'll never have one. that's just how it works. and maybe if Illario could just accept that and find his peace with it like I have, this whole thing wouldn't be so difficult. oh lucanis.)

such is the price -- and the cost -- of being loved by her, it's a loan on which the interest will never stop piling up. you have to keep paying it down in perfection every day if you want to keep it. who got the worse deal there: the grandson who has abandoned everything else in life to live up to that and mostly succeeded, until the day he's so burned out and broken it threatens to no longer be an option, or the grandson who can never seem to scrape together enough worth in her eyes no matter how he begs, borrows or steals it, how he hustles and plays dirty?

one of the worst things that can happen to anyone is to be loved by a selfish god. another one of the worst things that can ever happen to anyone is to not be loved by a selfish god. (hope that helps, boys!) even in betraying everything else, Illario can't bring himself to hurt his grandmother, because that would defeat the whole point. who would he defiantly be proving himself worthy to, without her. in love, devotion, submission, hatred, frustration, bitterness, everything is defined in relation to her, you can spot the gravitational force of it through how the dellamorte family move through time and space. she -- her love and regard and attention -- is still the sun both of their worlds orbit around, even as adults. the game might never tell you outright 'she used to beat and starve them growing up. for their own good you see, so they'd be strong (and broken down enough for her to build them up again however she wanted but I'm sure that's incidental)', but if you know even a little bit about how these dynamics can work the writing is on the wall everywhere you look and all the more unsettling for it.

follow lucanis' freeze-logic and fraught interpersonal catch 22 irreconcilable mixed emotions problems back far enough, looong before the ossuary entered the picture, and you start to see caterina's ghost around every fucking corner. she is so proud of him. (well, she would be. she made him. she forged exactly the knife she needed and it rests willingly, devotedly, in her hands, it would return to her every time because it doesn't know love as anything but to be a knife. his tama never taught him how to be anything else. his biggest fear with her is that she won't even want him back, the way he is now.) to the best ability of her soul, whatever parts of it survived a lifetime of crow politics and 'five children, eight grandchildren, only Illario and me left now', I think she really does loves him. he certainly loves her, with all the sincerity and artless desperation of a child, of the little boy he was once. and what she's done to him (and to illario, for all his shitty gremlin scar-ass antics lol) is awful. the harm is real, and the love is real, and trying to find a way for these two truths to exist in the same space is driving all three of them their own individualized forms of insane. you know. the way only family can and so often does lol.

through implications and short glimpses and having to put the pieces together yourself, you can have the feeling that there is very genuine mutual love and attachment in this relationship... and that beneath that there is something so profoundly wrong. and the sneaking '...oh shit it gets worse the longer I think about it' horror of that is more effective for me at least than the stark in-your-face presentation of the facts of the matter could have been. the love is here. the love is here. it only ever makes it worse.

[suntails]

strength and nobility

[madootles]

consumed with the urge to draw with ed holding cat. that's all

edit: metal arm wrong side bc canvas flip