#1 going there and then not getting in the prog

[bayrut]

was invited to one of the programs i applied to's annual research day??? it's next week should i go

[zylphiacrowley]

self indulgent gposing tomorrow. I am too

tonight.

[mariyekos]

My brain is. Absolutely buzzing with fic ideas right now and last night I started on a new one because I felt like i had to at least get the premise down before I lost it, but now I'm nearly 6k words in and oh no I don't have time to get another longfic wip going.... I'm 140k words deep into two other longfics right now 😭 I want to get into it, but I have too many stories fighting for attention in my head and this won't end well if I hop between them all bc I want to finish something for once. Ahhhh!!! Darn you limited time.

[prontaentrega]

how to post songs as mp3 files and avoid copyright

a bunch of people were asking how to post music on tumblr so here's some kind of tutorial n_n there's probably a thousand better ways to do it out there but this is what i do and it works for me

Step 1: Acquiring music

Before you post any music you gotta have it as an mp3 file. Bunch of people mentioned mp3 converters but my favorite way has always been to just download discographies from blogs. You google "(band) complete discography free download" or something like that and something's bound to show up. If you've doing this for a while you'll skip this first part and go straight to the places you know will have it- here's some of my favorite blogspots for it - but they're all very specific to the stuff i listen to (mainly punk and latin american rock).

These type of sites tend to be genre-specific so if you're looking for, say, a prog rock band, maybe you'll have more luck searching for prog rock downloads websites. The older or more obscure the band, the easier it will be to find. And you'll find that a lot of these sites are not in english- you have to get comfortable visiting and downloading from sites in spanish, portuguese, russian or what have you and your life will get easier.

Don't limit yourself to blogs or music download-specific sites. Some people post album dl links on youtube. When i was in high school i downloaded The Black Parade from DeviantArt. The internet is far and wide and you can find stuff anywhere

But what if i can't find an album like this?

Alternative 1: Legally

Go find a record store and buy the album you want. You can also check the artist's bandcamp or any other website where you can buy their music and get it as a file on your pc (no streaming shit). Some albums are out there for free, legally! If you know an artist who uploads their music to tumblr you can just right click on their mp3 upload and download it directly :^)

Alternative 2: The classic

you can pretty much google youtube mp3 converter and click any link and it'll do the work. Here's a link from a safe piracy subreddit. You paste a youtube vid's link and hit convert/download etc.

I've also heard some people say Lucida is good (lets you download songs and albums by pasting the spotify/bandcamp/wtv link) but i can't say it has worked for me- always gives me a network error. But maybe it works for someone else.

Step 2: I got the music- now what?

Now you post it! Some songs (obscure or copyright-free enough) will just let you post them like that. Most songs won't. For a lot of them you'll have to add some silence or edit the metadata.

Adding silence to a song:

Option 1: Get audacity for free. Go to File > Open on the top bar and open the song you wanna add the silence to. Make sure you're at the start of the track (it says 00h00m00s at the bottom). Go to Generate > Silence... on the top bar also. Choose how long you want the silence to be, click "generate". You'll see a straight line appear at the start of the track- that means it worked. Go to File > Export > Export as MP3 to save it. You'll see a pop up where you can edit the metadata (things like artist, year, genre, etc.) i like having my audio files with metadata but for the purpose of tumblr posts you'll want to leave all that empty- if it's got that info erase it. Click "Ok". Done!

Option 2: Do it online on audiomass. Go to File > Load from Computer, open the song. Click on the white square with the S (insert silence button). Choose how long you want it to be, click "insert silence". You'll see a straight line appear at the start of the track- that means it worked. Go to File > Export/Download. Make sure it's mp3 format, i always save it as 256kbps but it's not neccessary. Click export. Done!

Some songs let you get away with only 5 or 8 seconds of silence. I try to have it be as short as possible, but most songs will need 10 seconds of silence. Sometimes even a little more, if even with the 10 seconds it doesn't let you post it try adding 0.25s more and checking.

I always play the file i just exported, to make sure everything's right.

Editing the metadata:

I'm gonna be honest i don't know how necessary this is but the audio post format works in mysterious ways so it's always better to be one step ahead. If you got it from youtube to mp3 or already added the silence then your file won't have any metadata, unless you didn't clear it when exporting from audacity. if you got it legally or pirated from any blogspot type site and didn't edit it at all it will probably have metadata. To edit it you have to right click the file > Properties, go to the "details" tab, and there you'll see things like title, author, year, genre, etc. You can just click on any section and change or erase it, then click "Ok".

As a last thing, it's generally better if the file is not saved as the song's name. Just name it anything else.

Compressing the file:

I almost forgot but there's also a size limit. I don't remember it at the moment because i've only had a problem with it once, but if you do just google "compress mp3 file" and go on any website to do it LOL

Step 3: Posting it

Now just go make a new audio post. Upload the file from your pc. If there's an error sometimes it'll tell you what it is (you don't own this song/the file is too heavy/etc) but sometimes it will just delete the audio post format and not tell you anything. If there's any error make sure you did everything (the silence, the metadata, the size, the file name). Maybe go back and add 0.5 or 1 more second of silence at the start. Sometimes tumblr just won't want you to post a song even with every step done right- nothing to do about that :( Sometimes you can try back after a while and it will let you post the song- sometimes it won't. There's no real logic to it tbh.

But if everything goes right it will upload correctly. Now you can add the song's title, artist and album info, and album art or whatever image you want n_n Hit post and done!

[sugar-petals]

I screamed when I saw Tim on your feed yes we love a pretty guitar man

finally a fellow Tim Henson enthusiast!! 🎉

guess we have a type (= overqualified youtube twink w/ a futuristic fashion sense aka the best young guitarist out there 🗣).

risky post incoming cuz he's HOT & i love hands

[for those who don't know who this pretty boy is: tim's yt | tim's ig | tim's twt | about his band polyphia]

i agree he's gorgeous: jealousy magnet, mr henson has it all!!

- the delicious ink 😍 (neck tattoo: the sign of a masochist)

- 0% gravity hair (those fluffy waves! looking so soft tim, geez 🤒)

- the sexy 8 string guitar, cause he can, how does he do that??

- the alt beauty (tim radiates haughty expensive power bottom who talks back to get punished ngl, he's prog rock's #1 it boy)

-the sweater game, all day, every day (unmatched)

-the best technique. ice cold (easily most proficient hands in the music biz as of lately 😏 people either 1. hate him to the death or 2. need him carnally for this lmao, love me a polarizing guitar prodigy)

-A WHOLE FEMBOY BODY (even his ass is huge as of recently!! and the waist keeps getting smaller helpp)

I'm going feral over his body linee don't @ me!! how smokin' could anyone be??

-the actual live skills, not just yt editing (needless to say! any straight or bi man should be able to move his fingers like that hhh there I said it 😂 tim keeps the standards as high as he is lmao)

-the studio (oh the things that should be happening on that chair! ...anyways: it's so modern but not boring, i like it)

-the stylish guitars with the floral fretboards (guitar fuckers assemble!!! finally nylon strings are back thanks to him 💕)

-even more gorge guitars YES model it for us legend!!

-plus he's got an all-round good taste in everything. quality is key! composition and character is always a matter of taste. but timmy never dropped a bad video, bad promo, bad album covers, bad vlogs, bad cinematography, bad advert, bad ig post, bad anything. he's always the sassiest gnc slayer short king golden boy in the room doing the most 👑

...and seriously tho tim being texan youth i respect him defying the status quo!! that's real rock'n'roll☝️ he dressed for women and tops on the internet just to serve and confound some boomers along the way! prince would be proud 😎

homophobes leaving him anti-androgynous/misogynist/bodyshaming comments just can't cope with the sexiness, which he never compromised🤘 i truly pronounce tim bi ppls' favorite. since apparently nobody except the guitar community wants him we now own this man 🔥

-BONUS: last but not least look at this silver ibanez. look at it! tim is a design and aesthetics icon i rest my case... that many people still don't know about him is beyond me. he deserves all the clout!

i mean even personally... he's the kinda guy where you don't know if you came for the looks/fit or the skills and you stay for both! his playing style never disappoints. i always look forward to him dropping new material. tell me what your fave tim piece to listen to is ❤️

[girl-dot-tzt]

Alright results are in, I'm not allowed to finish for 36 days 🙃

Im going to update this as a lil diary to keep me honest💃

Day 1: I'm feeling pretty good, I notice I get really horny when I take my prog the ✨️fun way✨️ so I'm going to use that method to increase the challenge this month. I'm thinking of meeting a friend tomorrow so I'm excited!

Day 2: more of the same, pretty standard, had a great time with said friend. Getting a teeny but pent up but nothing crazy yet.

Day 3: getting more pent up but it's still manageable, made the mistake of reading a ton of horny posts and getting myself really horny. Thankfully I calmed down and now I'm good to go

Day 4: went to work, did some bike wrenching, now im boutta sleep. pretty uneventful but I'm meeting a good friend of mine tomorrow so I plan on making up for the lack of horny twofold. I need to get some Oregonian mutuals bc I'd like to bite someone :3

Day 5: got my tits fondled for like 3 hours while I watched anime and got insanely high, I need like 4 people to hold me down and grope/tease/fuck me... preferably all at once. I've got 31 more daysssssss, does it count if it's hands free? 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

Day 6: got no sleep, very horny, idk what direction Is up, and I need an answer to the question from yesterday 😫

Day 7: got sleep but not railed because if I get railed too well I'll could possibly finish and idk if that's OK yet :3. I'm going to mountain bike today! I'm super excited bc I need something to take the edge off, if I'm really unlucky I'll get too horny from the idea of getting fucked in the woods and make an update here.

Day 8: we're evening out a little, this may not be impossible, tbf I haven't had time to do much lately so when I finally get the time to ride my toys that might change. I'm planning on doing that tomorrow :3

Day 8 update: I accidentally took two progesterone pills because I boof mine, but I accidentally muscle memory-ed taking my prog orally. Got so horny during work that I nearly cried.

Day 9: I broke some spokes while mountain biking and now I'm sad, but horny and frustrated too. I can only think about being bred, but also being sad that my bike broke, damn fucking stupid sticks getting inbetween my fucking spokes. I need railed bad, etcetera etcetera

Day 10:

Girl abs, that is all

Day 11: I'm going to fuck myself on the biggest toy I own until I'm crying or edging with my Pspot🧍‍♀️ I will return

Day 12: I'm pretty sure I ended up getting edged. Pretty sure because I've never actually finished hands free before and my vibrator died right before I was about to finish. One of you witchy mother fuckers knew I was about to cheat or something, no other explanations, couldn't possibly be that I forgot to charge toys like a dumbass. Laugh it up, I got edged hard by my ADHD.

Days 13: I had a threesome and it was awesome! I explained my agreement to them and got teased a bunch as me and my friend dommed the fuck out of a gorgeous girl. We groped and kissed and sucked all over her body as she got more and more worked up, until eventually I was fucking her with my big purple vibrator and she came hands free for the first time! We made sure to shower her with all kinds of praise and congratulations 💃💃

Days 14-16: started a new job, I'm getting so horny these days that rather than feeling butterflies it's like an almost painful NEED. Like I just desperately need to get tied up and ground into dust, getting edged with my vibrator did a number on me because I'm a mess rn😆

Days 17-20: if I may be honest i embarked on this endeavor to try to finish hands free, I've never done it before but I desperately want to. I think I'll be able to do it by the end of these 36 days or sooner. Idk it's just a hunch🧍‍♀️

Day 21-29: 10 hr shifts in a lab will drive you nuts when there's nothing to think about but getting railed and ice cream percentages. On the plus side I am not only paid but required to eat ice cream every hour at my job. On the downside, I got so horny I cried last night🧍‍♀️😵‍💫😵‍💫

[louweenier]

Hello there! I would love to read a cute Sirius x reader OS where they end up in detention together. They don't really like each other but get closer and closer...

Hope that sounds interesting to you as well :)

Thanks in advance💕

notes: hi ! so this definitely took a while for me to get to (so sorry about that) but here it is (pls have mercy, it has been so long since I wrote anything). i tried to compensate by making it detailed and lengthy. for writing sake, I tried to make the annoyance more on the reader's side, and Sirius his usual, charming self, enjoy <3 if you want a part 2 with fluff or just a continuation, then lmk !! word count: 3845 part 1 | part 2 (in prog)

The Trophy Room - Sirius Black x Reader OS (Pt 1)

The insufferable prat sauntered into detention like he owned the bloody place — mind you when he wasn't surrounded by the other idiots he called his friends, it was usually the first port of call for where to find him.

“Hello, stranger.” He said in a bemused tone, as though he were oddly pleased to find Y/N here, of course he’d be, the twat. She rolled her eyes in sheer displeasure, an annoyed and large exhale through her nose - an attempt to not rip her hair out or swing at his face (not that it would necessarily be a bad thing).

“Go away, Sirius.” She grumbled as he conveniently chose the other end of the back row Y/N was sitting at. The clock clicked quietly with every agonisingly slow second that passed as he mumbled a "Sorry, sorry, just trying to lighten the atmosphere." in that sing-songy, unfailingly insufferable tone of his, as her face burned up slightly, the blood pounding in her ears.

The door pushed open, and in walked Professor Minerva McGonagall, her lips pressed into a thin line, arms crossed as she walked in, though Y/N's eyes were practically burning a hole into the dent on the desk that her eyes had trained onto as a form of distraction from the black haired boy on the other end of the row.

"Miss L/N, Mr Black, please get up and bring your things with you." Her voice cut through the silence of the classroom. Which was shortly rebroken by hers and Sirius' chairs scraping against the floor as they both moved to stand, grabbing her bag from the floor in the process. Trying to block out Sirius' relentless pestering of McGonagall as they walked through the corridors to wherever the two were being taken for their task to detention proved to be a challenge. "Do you ever shut up, Black?" She griped, only loud enough for him to hear, which she also assumed he ignored or didn't hear at all as it didn't elicit a response other than the smirk on his face widening ever so slightly and he continued to pester McGonagall.

The torches on the wall flicked and danced in the blanket of winter darkness that filled the corridors of the castle, which Y/N took note of, it almost being a comfort to her as she walked in silence. But his voice continued to filter through her thoughts, the way his laugh bounced off the walls of the now narrowing corridors. How... frustrating. How frustrating that he was treating being guided to detention as an excursion. How he never took anything seriously, even in classes, but still managed to come out on top, or in the vicinity of it. Y/N subtly shook her head, an attempt to somehow clear her mind, as though shaking it would detract from the fact she was trailing behind him and McGonagall with what was a more than sour expression on her face.

They eventually came to a stop in front of a familiar room, the trophy room. She internally groaned, the dread filling every crevice of her body. Her hands were going to be dead by the end of it.

"- that's enough chatter from you this evening, Mr Black. Now, both of you are well aware of where we are." McGonagall gave them both a pointed look "You both know the rules. Have everything polished and done by dinner. I'm sure you're both exceptionally experienced by now and have learnt to do this efficiently. You in particular, Mr Black." To which Y/N saw Sirius' smirk widen into a wolfish, mischievous grin from out of the corner of her eye, his hands shoved deeply into his pockets, shirt untucked, tie loose around his neck, hair unfailingly messily styled. Sirius' eyes flicked over to Y/N, her own eyes instantly averting the minute she realised she may have been caught.

As McGonagall's footsteps echoed as she left Sirius and Y/N, an odd silence between them as they stood in front of the door. Sirius, with his bag slung casually over one shoulder, started to roll his sleeves up as he walked in first. She tailed him and chucked her bag into a corner as she rolled her own sleeves up, blissfully unaware of the weight of his eyes on her back as he leaned against the wall, between 2 of the trophy cases.

The silence filled the room as she opened the cleaning supplies cabinet, she grabbed a rag, throwing it over her shoulder and the polish spray, when she heard "I never took you for the eager type, L/N.". His voice was a lazy drawl, an almost amused lilt to his otherwise deep and smooth voice.

Her jaw clenched as she moved to the farthest trophy case, near the door, but despite her resolve, she shot back— "Well unlike you, some of us have better things to do and don't live in detention.". She didn't bother to look back at him as she opened the trophy case and pulled them all out, placing them safely on the floor. Y/N picked up a quidditch trophy from the floor first and started to work on it absent-mindedly, silently fuming that she was there, to begin with, internally monologuing how this was all Sirius' fault.

As she worked on the trophy, she noticed it had been awfully silent and she turned back to glance at him, where he was still leaning between two of the cases, but his eyes were trained on her.

"What're you looking at, Black? Don't tell me you still don't know how to polish? With your reputation, aren't you meant to have done this a million times by now?" She questioned, her face slightly scrunched up in both scrutiny and confusion, ignoring the way her eyes kept trailing down to his forearms. How stupid. Rolled up sleeves to not even actually do any work. Could he get any more obnoxious?

"'Course I know how to polish, L/N, I reckon I'm better at it than you are. I just prefer to supervise." He mused as he watched her eyes narrow, the frustration on her face obvious. However, he did notice how her eyes kept flitting to his forearms. A thrill of satisfaction ran through his body as his charming, lopsided grin made its way onto his face. He subtly flexed them, his veins rising slightly.

Her hand tightened its grip on the trophy, the other clenched into a fist around the damp rag as she glared at him, her eyes cold and unfailingly held his gaze. They stayed like that, their eyes connected across the room from each other as the air in the room crackled. They were at a stalemate as she was determined to win. They stayed like that for a solid 30 seconds as she watched Sirius' grey eyes flick through a cycle of emotions. Surprise, amusement, then finally, resignation.

"You've got an attitude, L/N, you realise that, right?" He mused as he sauntered towards the supplies cupboard, grabbed a rag of his own and sprayed some of the product onto it. He walked to the trophy case next to her, and opened it, putting all the trophies on the floor, the same way she did. She side-eyed him as she internally cursed him out, before she retorted back, rising to the bait "And what? You think you're Merlin's gift to wizarding society? You've got so much bloody attitude you could share it with the rest of the wizarding population and still have enough left over to remain an insufferable, stuck-up prat."

Sirius' shock, turned into a shit-eating grin "Oh yeah? That's what you think of me, L/N? An 'insufferable, stuck-up prat'? You do know how to wound my feelings, darling." He clutched his chest dramatically, as he kept glancing towards her, trying to gauge her feelings and reaction to his own dramatic display of antics, which despite her anger, was mildly amusing. She fought to keep her expression painfully neutral, though she couldn't quite stop the way her mouth slightly twitched upwards.

"You're not funny." She said curtly as she quickly stamped away any amusement she may have felt.

They settled into a comfortable silence as they worked, her eyes occasionally flitting over to him. Just to check his progress. At least that's what Y/N told herself, just to make sure he was actually polishing. She took note of the way he hummed familiar riffs under his breath, catching notes of certain lyrics, a lot of Queen and Bowie, she noticed. He had good taste. She'd give him that. The way his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly as he worked on a particularly dull plaque. The way the smell of polish filled the room as well as the smell of... leather, smoke... some form of oud...? The smell of his shampoo. She blinked rapidly a couple times as she realised what she was thinking and flushed slightly

"You missed a spot." He murmured as he leaned closer to her, causing Y/N to jump slightly at not only the sudden proximity, but the sheer surprise of him breaking the fragile silence.

"No, I didn't." She replied as she glanced at him, then looked back to the plaque, her eyes running over it just to confirm her own belief.

He said nothing, but with a graceful and swift move of his hand, swiped his rag over a spot, the metal gleaming under the candlelight that filled the room. "You were saying?" He raised an eyebrow, an amused smirk on his lips. He clucked his tongue, as he shook his head in mock disappointment "I thought I was meant to be a 'stuck-up prat'? Told you I was better at this than you." He gloated with mock cockiness. She looked up at him their faces now only separated by a few inches as he leaned down. His grey eyes locked onto hers as they glinted with amusement, that stupid smirk plastered onto his face.

"Pretentious, cocky arse, too." She grumbled, "Add that to the list of adjectives people would use to describe you."

The more she snapped back, the more Sirius tried to dampen the feelings of genuine hurt that stung, his smirk faltering. He knew he played up an act, a persona to everybody. That was very much part of his whole personality, what made him who he was to the rest of the school, nix James, Remus and Peter. He tried to keep the mask on his face but he faltered for a second when he heard her add the last bit. 'Add that to the list of adjectives people would use to describe you.'. He didn't understand why it stung so much. Sure he had shared classes with her for so long, but he'd always acted like this. This wasn't exactly new behaviour. The rest of his classmates found him amusing to some degree, but not her? Why not her? It confused him, how she was immune to it.

She felt instantly bad when she saw him withdraw and settle back into silence, a different type of silence this time. They continued to polish, making their way in a circuit around the trophy room. Sirius' quiet humming and mumbled lyrics stopped, the only sound was the occasional opening and closing of trophy cases, the clink of trophies against the glass shelves. The silence dragged on until they were both on the last 4 trophy cases, 2 cases each.

"Why do you hate me-" "I'm sorry-"

They stared at each other for a second, both their hands stopping any motion of polishing as they looked between themselves and the trophies they each held.

Sirius spoke up first before she could even process what he had asked her, repeating his question. "Why do you hate me so much, L/N?" which caused her to blink a couple times in shock. She couldn't tell if he was being serious but she gave him an answer anyway.

"You're so... unserious. About everything. About people around you, about your studies, about who you hurt in those stupid pranks of yours. You lack of consideration for others. Basic empathy. You're... you're arrogant and reckless. And... and... you're just an arse, okay?" She ranted, Y/N's chest rose and fell a little faster as she tried to catch her breath from the sheer speed at which she spoke.

"Our pranks don't hurt anybody unless they deserve it!" He replied defensively, his face now shaped into a scowl, his knuckles turned white from gripping the trophy so strongly.

"And who are you to decide that? You aren't a higher-up being. Just cause you come from the family you come from doesn't mean-"

He froze, and a white-hot rage burned through his body. It seared through him — nobody but his best friends knew about his family and home life. Sirius knew exceedingly well the stereotypes that followed his last name. The fact that Regulus was the pinnacle of what was meant to be 'The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black' didn't help his case. Especially since it had been spread around that his place as heir had been handed down to his younger brother, though it was kept under wraps as to why. "Finish that sentence. I dare you. Don't you dare bring my family into this. You know fuck all about me."

Y/N in her own rage, didn't see the warning signs, the way his pupils shrunk, his body language resemblant to that of a dog about to bite. "So tell me then- what makes you so special that you get to decide who gets to be the target of your and your friend's stupid pranks. They're childish and obnoxious and quite frankly, distasteful."

"What makes you so fucking special that you get to decide if they're childish or obnoxious? Cause from where we're standing, the only person who seems to have a stick up their arse about it is you."

"Yeah well, they're idiots too. Birds of a feather flock together, Black."

The air was thick with unsaid words, the anger heating what once was the ice-cold trophy room. She took a breath and tried to calm herself. She let her eyes trail over him, reading his body like a book. His silhouette was oddly familiar to her, from watching him slink in late to class, or from him being in her eyeline in their class' seating plans. His usually relaxed body was taut, tightly strung like that of a bow. Her heart sank and her expression faltered. She'd hit a nerve and she realised it too late.

"Sirius-" she started, the use of his first name unfamiliar to her tongue. Unusual, yet not quite unwelcome, her heart raced in her chest as she looked up at him, her head cocked ever so slightly to the right "I'm sorry. I didn't realise-" She tried again, but the words refused to come, tangled between thought and feeling.

Sirius took a step forward, opening his mouth to speak when the door to the trophy room aggressively swung open, revealing Filch.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here." Filch delightedly wheezed as he leaned against the doorframe to support his weight. He stood there, his rounded frame prevented the light from the corridor from flooding into the otherwise dimly lit trophy room.

"Caught red-handed." He said gleefully, crooked yellow teeth beaming at Sirius and Y/N as the smell of mildew, dampness and sweat filled the room. "Detention won’t be enough this time. Oh no, I’ll see to it myself—proper punishments, the way things should be."

Y/N and Sirius' heads snapped towards the door at the sudden intrusion, their eyes flitting from Filch, then to each other, before Y/N spoke up in an attempt to pacify Filch, unaware of their close proximity to each other. "We're nearly done," She said quickly "We have these last few cases then we'll leave for dinner, Sir."

Her voice was steady, polite and practiced. Though Sirius was ignoring the exchange, uncaring of any threats of further punishment Filch threatened them with. Sirius' eyes never returned to look at Filch. For a fleeting moment, he forgot Filch was even there.

Instead, they remained trained on her, the flickering torchlight cast a warm glow across her face, adding a glow to her skin he had only ever noticed occasionally, like when she'd lounge by the fireplace in the common room, laughing with her friends. His frustration from earlier—the heat of his anger—seemed to melt away, tempered by something else entirely.

He wasn’t sure what it was. Only that looking away felt impossible.

"If you're not done by dinner, I'll make sure your second punishment is worse." Filch sneered, spittle spraying onto the floor.

Y/N gave a curt nod. They both watched as he huffed out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him. His grumbling echoed down the corridor, the sound seeping in through the crack beneath the door.

"Let's hurry up and get out of here. I don't fancy being stuck in another detention." She said quietly as she turned back to her trophy case.

She reached for her rag once more and instead found her fingers brushing against his, as he picked it up to hand to her, his gaze averted as he held it out towards her. A feigned nonchalance. She took it from him, muttering a quiet thanks. A fleeting touch—barely there, but enough to send a spark up her arm. He didn’t pull away immediately, nor did she. His fingers reluctantly released the rag and she slowly started to polish her trophy once more. Only now, she was under Sirius' gaze, a new curiosity had been sparked in him.

The act in itself now felt, awkward. Unnatural. The weight of his gaze was heavy on her shoulders, though she wasn't imagining it. He had gone back to leaning back against the wall, absent-mindedly and lazily polishing his own trophy, though his eyes were focused on her. He eventually gave up the pretense of polishing the trophy and instead just stared at her. He wasn't even pretending to work anymore. His gaze was no longer teasing, menacing, nor angry; instead it was thoughtful, almost considering, though his lips carried the same insufferable smirk she was well acquainted with.

"You’re staring," she murmured, not looking up from the trophy she was polishing, focused on a particularly difficult smudge that she was failing to remove.

Sirius tilted his head, his gaze unwavering. "You really don’t like me, do you?"

Y/N sighed, rubbing at it, getting progressively more frustrated with the fact it was unfleeting. "You make it very easy."

"And yet," he mused, watching her, "you almost sounded sorry earlier."

She continued to buff out the trophy, Y/N's eyebrows furrowed as she delved into her thoughts. After a moment, she spoke up "I am. About me making a jab about your family. It was a low blow." She sighed. "I'm not entirely sure what the deal is there — not that it's any of my business, y'know. Everybody has their own crap to deal with. It wasn't right of me to make an assumption. So yeah. I'm sorry, Sirius."

Sirius blinked, taken aback and caught off guard. Of all the things he’d expected her to say, that definitely wasn’t one of them. He had braced himself for another sharp retort, another exasperated sigh. Instead, she was… apologising. He didn’t know what to do with that. From what he had heard of her in passing from watching her, he knew she didn't apologise and not mean it.

His smirk faltered, just slightly, before he quickly pulled the mask back over and redressed his bravado.

"So you are sorry," his smirk widened as he tilted his head, and a glint of satisfaction flicked in the silver depths of his eyes. "And here I thought you just enjoyed taking the piss out of me."

She huffed, going back to her polishing. "I do." Though her eyes flit to meet his, a flash of amusement and what seemed to be warmth seeped through.

His lips curled. "Ah, well, that’s reassuring." He lazily ran a hand through his hair, letting it fall however he pleased. Annoyingly gorgeous. Could he get any more frustrating?

They lapsed into silence again, but this time it wasn’t thick with tension or resentment. It was… different. Warmer, somehow. As though the weight of any lingering resentment or confusion had been cleared. A breath of fresh air.

By the time 6pm rolled around, it was time for dinner and Y/N had finished polishing the last plaque. She let out a soft sigh of relief as she clicked the glass cabinet shut and lightly shook out her hands in an attempt to alleviate the cramp that she knew would inevitably set in. As she clicked the cabinet shut, Sirius stretched with a lazy groan, arms high over his head. His shirt lifted just slightly at the movement, and Y/N forced herself to focus on anything but that. Anything but the slither of skin that was exposed.

"Finally free," he drawled, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Come on, then. I’ll walk you down." He slinked towards the door and opened it.

She glanced at him as she walked towards the door, one brow raised. "Is that a kind gesture I hear? I should pinch myself."

"Don’t be ridiculous," he smirked. "I’m just making sure you don’t go around badmouthing me again, or find another reason to label me an 'insufferable prat' before we even make it to dessert." To which she rolled her eyes at him and walked out, the sound of her footsteps bounced off the walls of the corridor. The tension still clung to the air between them. Y/N told herself she imagined it—that it was nothing. But then she felt it.

The faintest brush of his fingers against hers as they walked.

Sirius fell into step beside her, their shoulders barely brushing. It was an innocent touch, the kind that wouldn’t normally matter.

So why did it? It shouldn't... have an effect.

She begged her heart to stop racing and for her stomach to settle, playing it off as excitement for dinner. Nothing more. Surely not.

When they finally made it to the Great Hall, Sirius and Y/N stood and stared at each other for a second, glancing over at the spot where either of them sat, and discovered that today, their friend groups had merged, most likely as a result of the fact that one key member of each had detention. Y/N slid into her usual seat next to Lily, reaching for a goblet of pumpkin juice. Across from her, James nudged Sirius with his elbow, an exaggerated waggle of his brows.

"So. You two looked cozy coming in together," he teased.

Sirius scoffed, shoving a roll into James’ mouth before he could say anything else. "Eat your dinner, Prongs."

[girl-failure]

Transwoman needs answers

this isnt an easy post to write and it's going to be full of info about me that's personal and embarassing but I am desperate for answers and assitance so please bear with me. Long story short, im almost 3 years hrt (may 19th will be exact) and it's like nothing has changed. More info under the cut.

I'm going to try and explain everything to the best of my memory, but exact dosages and stuff might be fuzzy and inexact. I began HRT on May 19th 2021, when I was 22. I took one and a half 2mg pills, twice (morning and night) daily. I took them sublingually. I was also prescribed Spironolactone, though the exact dose escapes me (i remember it was 1 pill nightly). I had only come out as trans in the December the previous year, so i considered myself unfathomably lucky to get to start so soon. I had done this through informed consent at a planned parenthood and was excited by the possibility of a future where my own body didn't make me want to die. The idea of changing my body gave me a feeling of control in my life that had been entirely absent until that point. I knew I wanted all the help I could get with breast development (the women in my immediate family are well endowed) and I had read & heard from other trans women that prog could help, but I'd have to wait to ask for it.

I think it was on December 15, 2021, I was officially prescribed 100 progesterone nightly. At this point I had began to notice softer skin, lighter hair, the few bits of acne left over from high school had gone entirely, and the inklings of breasts beginning to form. My libido had all but dissipated entirely at that point, but I was told (mostly by other trans women) it would come back, especially after starting prog, and that my body would likely experience pleasure differently, and that my orgasm would be very different. The fat from my stomach (i wasn't overweight or underweight, i was pretty average for a man my height, but I did have a masculine stomach I despised) hadn't relocated at all, but I knew HRT wasn't a sprint, but a marathon, and I had a long way to go. This continued for a long time, eventually i would be bumped up to two 2mg of E (sublingual pill) twice daily (8mg total), and my Spiro would change to 200mg a day EDIT: My Spiro dosages did fluctuate, though again I don't recall the exact dosages, (I initially got it confused with my prog dosage, sorry), though there was the occasional few week period where I'd be bumped back down to one and a half E pills because I had timed my blood-work poorly. It had been a while since starting HRT and I was starting to worry. My libido never came back, I was unable to feel the sensation of pleasure entirely, my breasts & nipples never became sensitive or had growth pains, and my breasts really hadn't grown at all. My stomach still made me feel awful and masculine because fat continued to pile up there instead of in the feminine places I was told and led to believe it should!!! I was scared and frightened and upset. I'd say I developed an eating disorder but my eating was already disordered. I was afraid of food. Afraid it'd just make me look manly, instead of going to my hips/waist/whatever and breasts like it was supposed to. I began to feel like the hrt that was supposed to save my life was just making me feel worse.

On October 23rd, 2023, I finally started seeing a doctor again after 9 years of not being able to afford it, and only then because a parent got insurance through their work. I was officially prescribed Estradiol Valerate (.3mL intramuscular, and the bottle itself is 20mg/mL) , and quit Spiro outright. Now that I was talking to a doc, especially one who had been working with trans people in my area for years, I was starting to have hope again that maybe injections would solve my problems. After all, they're supposed to be more powerful right? Well after some blood-work revealing that my T levels were so low they were undetectable, we started fiddling with my injection dosages. I went down to .25mL. Nothing changed. I went down to .2ml. Nothing changed. I stayed at .2mL and was prescribed a med called EstraTest (.625mg E and 1.25mg T), a single pill which has both E and T in it, to try and raise my T levels back to measurable levels and hopefully find that golden ratio of E and T where maybe my body will start working again and start changing. But that brings us today. I still don't feel any sensation of pleasure (masturbating is pointless, intimacy just feels like I'm disappointing my partner), let alone a female orgasm (which as embarrassing as it is to admit, I was really looking forward to), my nipples still don't get sensitive and my chest doesn't get sore or get growing pains. My breasts look the same way they did 4 months into hrt. I've still had practically no fat redistribution, though I've gotten better about eating and not being afraid of food. I'm even beginning to notice my acne slowing starting to come back. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Why has nothing worked? Why does it feel like I'm regressing? I lost my health insurance earlier this week, and I can't afford to see my doctor again with my dumb pizza delivery job, so I haven't been able to ask to try anything more drastic to try and fix these issues. My current theories are that maybe my body is just more resistant to E? Which would be awful, but might be handled by just tripling my dose or something? Or

that my receptors are fried, and that the only solution would be to stop taking my HRT for a while (maybe even a long while). I pray that isn't the case, because I'd sooner off myself then let my body regress any further.

So this is a call for help. If anyone has any idea what could be causing these problems for me, or knows how I might be able to fix them, PLEASE let me know. I've lost hope in having a future as a woman, or even just feeling apathy towards my body (instead of intense self-loathing) at this point.

Here's my ca$happ if anyone wants to throw some money my way and maybe I'll be able to see the doctor again. cash.app/$occultChloe

[bg-brainrot]

Hello, I am writing Astarion fanfic with no signs of stopping 👋

Note: All Astarion x Tav, all written with gender-neutral pronouns and from second-person POV. Will continue to update this! This blog is all BG3 + Astarion

Love at First Knife

Rogue!Tav and Spawn!Astarion

This series is based on my double-rogue playthrough. Tav is an assassin rogue, chaotic neutral, chooses mostly good options but a ton of options just for the laughs or the money. Astarion remains unascended. Everyone shows up sooner or later, though main group includes Karlach and Shadowheart.

The Trap is Set: Two 8 strength rogues get stuck and need to wait for rescue; one of those rogues doesn't like being trapped underground

Failed a Dex Save and Fell for You: the gang plays Truth or Dare and Tav starts to realize their feelings

Healing Threads: Astarion is an expert at embroidery -- Tav finds this out through an injury. They later find out *why* he’s such an expert

The Night They Slept Together: Tav pines, and their relationship with Astarion shifts ever so slightly. (They literally do just sleep) [Tumblr]

One Small Bedroll, Two Confused Hearts: oh no, one bed! But both Astarion and Tav are scared to admit they're catching real feelings

Failed Every Insight Check and Fell all the Harder: Astarion POV, he begins feeling some new feelings. It's only after Moonrise Towers that he can put a name to them. [Tumblr]

Stolen Hearts: Tav "picks" Astarion over Karlach (Tav and Karlach were never really together but oh well, semantics)

NEW! To be Known: Astarion reads a book and wonders what it means to be known. [Tumblr]

A Stolen Moment: Tav and Astarion are on a thief date

The Rogues that Slay Together Stay Together: Tav goes down protecting Astarion, Astarion has never been this worried

A Pair of Penguin Pebblers: Both Astarion and Tav love stealing, they steal through a shopping episode and go on a date afterward

The Smut Peddlers of Sharess' Caress: the group finds smut written about Astarion and Tav [Tumblr]

A Bad Counterfeit: Tav is replaced by a doppelganger and Astarion immediately notices something's wrong, some angst as he comes to term with being a "hero"

Hugs for a Vampire: Rogue!Tav and Astarion's romance as told through hugs [Tumblr Masterlist]

More than Vampiric Charms: After some banter between Jaheira and Astarion goes too far, Rogue!Tav reassures Astarion [Tumblr]

Would You Still Love Me?: Rogue!Tav asks the question everyone wants to know the answer to "would you still love me if I was a worm?" [Tumblr]

Of Bets, Bluffs, and Briefs: The gang plays strip poker, though it seems like not everyone (Astarion) is playing by the rules [Tumblr]

Brawls Fair in Love and War: What starts out as a scuffle turns into a full out tavern brawl for the gang [Tumblr]

Alone in a Crowded Camp: Astarion reflects and realizes that company isn't so bad. [Tumblr]

Their First Winter Together: Astarion and Rogue!Tav enjoy a lot of winter firsts in this fluff-filled extravaganza [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12]

Unraveling Plan Meet Immeasurable Insecurity: Tav tries their damnedest to propose, only to be rebuffed by Astarion at every single turn. [Tumblr]

(smut) The Thousandth Time: Astarion and Rogue!Tav make love for the thousandth time. In a bathtub. [Tumblr]

Random post-game rogue!Tav headcanons

A Star in the Dark

Evil!Dark Urge and Ascended!Astarion

Evil!Dark Urge and Astarion have a tumultuous relationship, make dubious choices, and become a power couple. *This playthrough scares me so I'll update this sporadically hah

(smut) In My Head: Dark Urge has an all new kind of daydream after Astarion approaches them

(smut) A Bloody Sacrament: Astarion licks Dark Urge clean after they bathe in a pool of blood [Tumblr]

Other

Tav x Astarion fics that don't belong to a series

IN PROGRESS When He's all but Forgotten How to Love Again: Elf-Tav reincarnation story, they dream of him in their reverie, and go out to find him once they reach maturity [Tumblr Masterlist]

IN PROGRESS The Consequences of Convenience: Tav enters a marriage of convenience with their unromanced, best friend Astarion-- feelings ensue.

Spicy Astarion Headcanons (both A!A and Spawn!A)

Horny Astarion Headcanons (both A!A and Spawn!A)

If you're looking for some more fics, check out my fic recs here!

If you're wondering which Hozier songs fit which pairings, check them here!

[doctordeathawaits]

transrussian tips :3

As someone who has fully transitioned - of course < 3

TRANS - RUSSIAN .. 🇷🇺

Start by researching about the culture ! Russia is Slavic, so start by researching Slavic traditions and culture !

Educate yourself about the COUNTRY. This may be harder as everyone has their own opinions, yet it is still very recommended to research the history of the country - going from when it was an empire all the way to now !

Prog the obvious - LEARN THE LANGUAGE !! Russian was my second language so I didn't really need to try with this, BUT ! here's some tips ! First - Learn the alphabet, learn how to read the words, even if you don't understand them ! Some words can be similar to other languages, so being able to understand a word can give you a lot of euphoria ! Continue learning by learning simple words and phrases ! ( Language apps are recommended !! )

Accent - Russians have THICK accents, keeping it when speaking English can help a lot !

Watch Russian movies with English subtitles to continue learning ! THIS WILL HELP YOU SO MUCH !!!!! There are such good Russian movies out there !!

RUSSIAN LITERATURE !!!!!111!!1! Read the SHIT out of Dostoevsky, learn how to recite Pushkin !

Another thing with learning - If you are in school, learn the Russian way of school. Russian school are very strict, so being strict with your learning can be good ! Write your notes in Russian, look up source material in Russian !

Now appearance wise, anyone can look Russian ! This is based on how YOU want to appear, if it would be hair colour or skin wise ! But remember, Russians are very diverse with how they look - they can be brunette or blonde, mostly brown or green eyed, pale or slight tan ! <33

Style - now Russia has its own aesthetics and fashion, I recommend getting VK ( the Russian version of Facebook ), there are a lot of inspo for outfits <3

Cultural nostalgia - I feel like this can help A LOT. There are a lot of ' nostalgia ' account centred around childhood in Slavic countries, and this can be helpful with euphoria <3 Things that helped me were Russian carpets, old s*viet apartments, cosy grandma cooking <3

Last notes : you do not need to live in Russia to be Russian ! I say that I am Russian as ETHNICITY ! <33 Remember, you are loved and adored <3

Удачи в переходе <3

[scotts-takes]

"Black Out See Saw" is the Climax Alkaloid Deserved

Top Songs from Enstars 2023 Number 1

I was blown away when the album art for Alkaloid was released a few months ago...

This art is such a sharp contrast from their first album art, that shows how they have grown. The basic military style unit outfits have been replaced with regal commander-style ones. The basic emotions that are shown in the original are now much more refined- in particular, Aira has evolved from someone simply happy to be on a stage to someone who is confident in his place on it, Mayoi is putting himself more in center, and Hiiro's confident smirk has become more stoic, as he now has the experience to go with his skills.

All of this went away, however, when we actually got the Alkaloid Climax song...

Sigh...it was the seasonal Halloween event for the year. Yes, the idea of incorporating hospital/illness and Tatsumi's relationship with it is an interesting story to tell...but Alkaloid deserved so much more, especially as the "Protagonists" for the !! era of Enstars. I was frustrated that the end of this era of Enstars for Alkaloid was wasted on a seasonal event, but was at least able to take solice in that Alkaloid gets 200 chapters of the main story dedicated to them, and we still had solo songs for each character to come from the album. December rolls around, and the album releases. After jumping through hoops to buy it, I throw my headphones on to give the album a listen. The first track, "DiZZineSS" is a weird 30 second preamble with no singing, not something I was expecting. However, it rolls directly into the first new song on the album

Bam

Black Out Sea Saw is a violent wall of sound, unlike anything else that has been done for Enstars before, and I can understand fans not liking it. The reason it sounds so different is because it was produced by TK of Ling Tosite Sigure, a 20+ year going Prog Rock group. I listened to the song 3 times before moving on, and waited for the MV release to come, as is usual with the "B" side track from Albums. And what we got was one of the most well constructed videos for Alkaloid fans, and the climax that I was looking for that wasn't provided by the Halloween song.

The video opens...strangly, especially if you haven't heard the song before. The opening is intentionally choppy and rough, almost like it was an unfinished song that still needed production. There is a weird reverb effect happening- which you can especially hear when Mayoi hits the high note, that led to a friend saying "it sounds like they recorded this in a bathroom or something". The other thing that really jumps out is how robotic and synchronized the movements of all 4 members are. This is a BIG deal. In just about every Alkaloid video, you can find little inconsistencies at various points- Aira is sometimes a bit slow to do something, Hiiro is sometimes a bit too fast, Tatsumi's movements are less athletic, etc. The robotic movements are all in perfect unison, especially at points where characters do things together, like make hand bridges. It's a sign of Alkaloid's growth as a unit- they started as a collection of rejects, and now they haver come together and become a great unit together.

As we go to the first chorus, the intensity of the song ramps up- it becomes FAST, yet every member is in perfect harmony. The dancing becomes more intense- and everyone stays perfect. And then we get to the final line "It's Error-Error", and things start to change- we start to see more finger movement, the motions become more flowing and less robotic (the robots are malfunctioning! error! error!), and more personality is shown by each member.

We then get a wonderful effect of feathers raining from the sky, before, and then we get to see everyone smile, including Hiiro with this soft and expressive look. (that I wish I was able to time slightly better when I took my screenshot!)

Why is this important? Lets take a look at the first Introduction of Hiiro, in his first close-up in Kiss of Life

It's a look of focus, of determination, and NOT one of joy. Hiiro NEVER smiles at any point in Kiss of Life except during the SPP- he maintains a focused look the entire time. Additionally, you can look at just about any Alkaloid video, and Hiiro rarely smiles- if anything, he just physically assaults the camera in every one of them! The final chapter of the main story is titled "Smile", which is a discussion between Hiiro and Rinne on what it means to be an idol, and Rinne telling Hiiro "Whenever I see you smile, it makes me smile too", with Hiiro responding that he will do whatever it takes to make people smile

Hiiro wasn't able to smile in Kiss of Life, as his focus was on putting smiles on the faces of others. It's weird, because when he isn't preforming, a smile is basically plastered on his face permanently. He has a very loud and infectious laugh, and he's just happy to be doing anything at any time. On stage, for him, its different. And Black Out Sea Saw is the first time that Hiiro is able to not just smile, but show kindness in it, as opposed to simple joy or excitement. It's a MASSIVE step forward for him- the kind of thing that, you know, you might build a Climax story around?

And then, we come to the end, where the intensity of the song does not let up, before it all crashes to an end as the lights go dark and Alkaloid go still

To me, this is the Alkaloid Climax, the song that I will remember. They have gone from a group thrown together to a cohesive unit with a sound unlike anyone else in the franchise, and all of whom have had character growth. It's the one that they deserve going into the new era that is upcoming, and even has a level of finality to it, seeing as how it was released right at the end of the year.

Alkaloid deserved better than Undying Holy Love, and boy, did they get it...

[whorinsmokenshield]

Soup

Augusnippets Day 1

Summary: Bilbo didn’t move much. Too much effort. Too much pain. It was much easier to sit on his knees and wait to be noticed.

Rating: Mature

Warning: Violence

(Written for @augusnippets. Day 1, Path of Hurt: Brainwashing. Ao3 upload here.)

~~~~~~~~

Bilbo didn’t move much. Too much effort. Too much pain. It was much easier to sit on his knees and wait to be noticed.

He didn’t know where he was. He barely knew who he was. He floated in a soup-thick fog that filled his head and blurred his vision, making it hard to think. Bilbo couldn’t even feel the rough pinch of the gravel that bit into his skin as he knelt. He felt it once, though. That’s how he knew it was there.

Sounds swirled around him- grunts, growls, wet coughs and sneers -but nothing really penetrated the fog. He only knew that whenever he was spoken to, it led with a raspy snarl: “Halfling.”

Bilbo tilted his head. Before him was a greenish gray mass of flesh, lumpy and covered in pustules and rusty iron bits. He had no idea what it was, but it spoke to him.

“Fetch my dinner. Get some good fat pieces.”

As Bilbo reckoned with that instruction, trying to remember what the words ‘fetch’ and ‘dinner’ and ‘fat’ all meant, he blinked and was suddenly standing twelve paces from where he once sat. With bleary eyes and furrowed brows he looked about himself, fighting to recognize anything. Dirt, perhaps, and some stones. Those thoughts stumbled off the planes of his mind as they came, leaving him with nothing. 

He came back to himself, finding in his hands a grimy, chipped bowl, filled to the brim with an oily broth and teeming with greyish pork. On his skin was the heat of a barely-controlled fire. Bilbo raised his head, and looked about himself once more. 

“Get moving, rat!”

Bilbo flinched, and broiling hot broth splashed over his hand. He felt it, but the pain didn’t stay. He looked down at his rugged, reddened hand, and found a number of blisters, splinters, cuts and scrapes that his mind refused to catalogue.

“Who are you?” Bilbo slurred out, looking up at a hulkish blue smear that was lit from the back by the fire.

“It needs another dose. Prog!”

Bilbo jumped and flinched again. More hot soup splashed onto his fingers. Sudden and swift movements erupted around him and his head was forced back, the bowl ripped from his hands. The mouth of a glass vial was shoved into his mouth, knocking into his bruised-feeling teeth, and a foul, thick syrup was poured down his throat. He didn’t have the wherewithal or control to choke or sputter, and was instead made to feel it as it slid from his tongue. Drool drizzled off his chin and down his neck, his hands scrabbled at the boarhide skin of the hand that gripped him, and he convulsed with lurching gags.

His knees buckled when they released him and shoved him forward, and he dropped into the dirt. The fire blasted heat across his tender, stinging back.

The ground soon fell out from under him, his skin lost all sensation, and his head floated away into the ether, uncertain whether it would come back down again.

-----

Bilbo swirled into awareness later on. No telling how much later. His head and body pulsed with numbness, his chin lax and eyes limp. 

The world, if that were truly what it was, was blurry again. Everything smudged like wet paint. His knees pressed into the gravel once more. Couldn’t feel it, still.

He felt as though he were alone. Not existentially (though that was also true) but physically. His head lolled in either direction, and no movement caught his attention.

The day was dark and cooling, the air bereft of sound. 

Bilbo's eyelids dropped and he scanned the ground in front of him. Seeking recognition. Leaving empty-handed.

He drifted off again.

“Psst. Bilbo!”

Bilbo jerked awake and opened his eyes, and time had passed. So he thought. It was darker now, and the air was frigid cold. There was a cacophony of noise going off right out of his range of comprehension. Murmured clangs, muted scuffles, quiet roars.

“Over here!”

Someone was speaking. To him? They weren’t calling him ‘Halfling’. Bilbo rolled his head to the side. 

“Oh Mahal.”

A blur emerged from the darkness and captured Bilbo's whole attention.

“Who are you?” Bilbo garbled. His eyes strained to keep focus.

“It's me.”

And then the blur was knelt in front of him, and Bilbo could almost see its face clearly. Young and handsome, with coarse scruff and a steely look in his eyes.

“It’s Kíli,” the blur said. 

Bilbo stared blankly, mind wrenching every drop of recognition it could muster. The face was familiar. The name hurt to think about.

“Bilbo.” Something touched Bilbo’s shoulders, then took his face, and Bilbo could just about feel the seams of a glove pressing into his skin. “Bilbo, it’s Kíli. Kee. How badly are you hurt?”

“K...Kee?” That name, Bilbo knew that name. He knew that name. His brain was sluggish as jam.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s Kee.” He brushed the hair off Bilbo’s forehead. “Come on, stand up. We’ve got to be fast. Fee’s on lookout.”

Bilbo’s body moved with the command.

The blur named Kee pulled him to his feet. “They didn’t tie you up,” he noted.

Bilbo was standing now, ready and waiting for a new instruction. They were so much easier to follow than to think of.

“Are you hurt? Can you walk?” Kee’s hands hovered around him.

He’d said another name, too, and Bilbo struggled to recall it.

“Ffff…F-Fee?” Garbled Bilbo, eyes listlessly scanning the area around him.

“Like I said, he’s on…lookout.” Kee seemed to falter. He continued. “I’m going to carry you. Okay?”

Bilbo looked down at his hands. He saw the scars and burns and streaks that covered them as if they were anew.

“Okay. Right. Here we go!”

Bilbo’s world tumbled sideways and his mind couldn’t keep up with the movement. Bright, white light stabbed him in the eyes and forced them to close as his body was jarred and jostled.

He faded away again, but not before a pale face with blonde hair came into his line of sight and something warm took hold of his numb fingers.

-----

“Open your eyes, lad. ”

Before Bilbo properly woke, his body responded to the call. A smear of piercing firelight and moving colors swayed before his eyes and made him instantly nauseous. 

He toppled to the side and vomited.

Hands snatched at him and propped him up, keeping his face from landing in the puddle he’d made.

“Hold him up! Turn his head. Move! Move!”

Gnarled hands pushed against his throat and Bilbo began to panic. He thrashed away from the body in front of him but only landed against another one. Big, warm, a throbbing heart within it. The arms of the body lashed around his middle and held him still, but Bilbo felt no fear.

His breath was quickened and uneven, but as he dragged in air through his nose he smelled pine sap and pipe smoke.

From Bilbo’s lips he gasped wetly and pushed against the wall of flesh at his back, his eyes unseeing and his skin alight with nerves. He felt every scrape of cloth against his sternum and the dig of the seams under his arms. His feet were poor and hurting and his head pounded and pounded and screamed with deep-seeded pain.

Noise, all the noise around him and emitting from him, it was overwhelming to Bilbo. He shuddered and wordlessly groaned and grunted and pleaded.

A heavy hand came over his eyes, blocking the light. 

A thick arm wrapped around him, holding him still and steady and anchoring his head to his neck.

Bilbo whimpered, grasping at the strange arm but helpless to move it.

“They will not touch you again,” was whispered into his ear. “No one will touch you unless I permit it.”

And Bilbo knew this voice too. Knew it. Knew it.

“Thorin,” Bilbo warbled. “Thorin?”

“I’m here.”

A soft, whiskery kiss was pressed to his ear. Thorin’s head nuzzled into the top of his, his lips dragging gently in Bilbo’s hair.

"I have you. You're in my arms," he said in his lowest, softest voice.

“Thorin…” Bilbo hiccuped. “Oh-”

Thorin’s arm- Thorin’s arm, and no one else’s -tightened over his chest. His breath was deep and steady in Bilbo’s ear. His hand was the one that covered Bilbo’s eyes, but as Bilbo began to calm he brought it away.

Bilbo’s vision focused. At last, at last, he could see again.

The whole of the Company was there, gathered around a hastily-set fire and looking with varied levels of anxiety at Bilbo. He could make out the expressions on each of their faces. Some of them, such as Óin and the princes, were close-by, within arm’s reach.

“Oh…” Without warning, Bilbo’s face screwed up with emotion and he began to sob.

Thorin was then wrapped around him in every possible way, cradling Bilbo's body in his lap and tugging him close to his broad chest. He shushed him, whispering soothing inanities over him interspersed with calming kisses to his cheeks. As far as Bilbo knew, the rest of the Company turned away politely.

"Shh, shhshhshh," Thorin whispered.

“Wh-what-” Bilbo sobbed out as he clung for his life onto Thorin’s arm. “What h-happened?”

No one spoke for a while. Bilbo himself nearly forgot he asked the question. Then Kíli’s voice growled out from the side and drew all the attention to himself.

“Orcs,” Kíli grunted. “We got our arses handed to us and they took you to keep. Gave you a poison that messed with your mind. You couldn’t tell your own arse from a hole in the ground when Fee and I found you.”

“Kíli,” Thorin cautioned.

“What?” Kíli shot right back. There was a shadow over his face that concerned Bilbo. “It’s true! I mean, we-we found him and…” Kíli dragged his hand through his hair and got a wild look in his eye as he recalled. “And we thought he was dead! If you weren’t kneeling like that I would’ve thought we were too late.”

His voice broke on ‘late’. He wiped the back of his mouth with his hand and looked away.

Bilbo’s lower lip quivered in sympathy. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Thorin growled behind him, and Kíli’s head whipped back around, looking every bit like a regretful and scolded puppy.

“No, no, I wasn’t-” he sighed, lips pinching. “It’s not your fault. It was the bloody fucking orcs .”

Bilbo huffed a little laugh that felt foreign in his chest. “I don’t even remember there being any orcs,” he said. 

Óin’s brow came down, and his eyes became a little more sharp. “How much do ye remember?”

“Nothing,” Bilbo said at once, and meant it. “Really, I hardly recall a thing. It was all…blurry, and frightening. But I don’t remember anything specific.”

“Not even the whipping?” Ori’s terse voice arose from around the fire. He was shushed immediately by his brothers.

“Whipping?” Bilbo parroted. “No, I…was I whipped?” He turned and craned to look at Thorin, but couldn’t meet his eyes from that angle.

Thorin sighed, heavily. “Among other things.”

“Other things,” Bilbo repeated, quietly, once more. His eyes unfocused as he tried to recall his lost time.

“Stop trying to remember,” Óin scolded. “Give yer mind a rest. It’s been through enough. If you remember on yer own, that’s fine. But don’t force it. Wouldn’t be such a bad thing if you never end up remembering it at all.”

“Never remember!?” Bilbo startled and tried to sit up, but Thorin’s hold prohibited him. It also allowed him to finally feel the deep strain and sting in his back, and the rubbed-raw feeling of the skin of his palms. He looked down at them, then Óin’s old hand took him by the chin and snatched his head up.

“Never mind that, now,” he said in as gentle a tone as Bilbo knew him to be capable of. “I rather think you’d be better off without the knowledge. After all, what’s a week in the scheme of life anyway?”

Bilbo’s eyes bugged. “What?”

It was Óin’s turn to look sheepish as Thorin growled, and no one refuted or corrected him.

A week. Lost. Bilbo was beginning to feel dizzy again.

Suddenly he was lifted off his feet and plopped into a bridal carry, and he was looking up the nose of one ruggedly handsome king.

“I’ll take first watch,” Thorin gruffed as he stepped around the fire.

“Thorin-” Bilbo ventured.

“Hush.”

Bilbo hushed. He was laid in a plush bedroll, padded with furs and lush with knitted blankets. Far better fare than they had on the road to Erebor. Around them they could hear the company murmuring amongst themselves

“Thorin?” he asked again.

“You have had a very, very long day, ghivashel.” Thorin’s voice rumbled over him like thunder, and it sapped the tension from Bilbo’s limbs and made him feel boneless and heavy as he was tucked securely in. “It would heal my heart to see you rest.”

Bilbo’s eyelashes fluttered involuntarily. “Don’t think you’ll need to worry ‘bout that,” He muttered around a yawn.

As Bilbo’s mouth closed, Thorin captured his lips in a chaste, butter-warm kiss that melted Bilbo down to his bones.

“Sleep, my love. I’ll be here when you wake.”

Bilbo didn’t quite make that part out, but his body responded to the call regardless. And he slept.

~~~~~~~~

This fic was: -Unedited -Written in forty minutes -More than 1.5k words over the challenge limit (was supposed to be under 500)

Hope you enjoyed it anyway!! Lmk what you think. Ao3 Username is Sullen_in_love

[taylorhawkins]

14 Essential-Listening Taylor Hawkins Tunes

… that aren’t “Cold Day in the Sun”!

1. Pitiful (Taylor Hawkins & the Coattail Riders)

One of his most emotionally raw tracks. I love the strange chords he used on the acoustic guitar to convey the somber depiction of guilt and shame associated with drug addiction described in the lyrics. This is a really painful song to listen to, but it’s beautiful.

2. The Path We’re On (Nighttime Boogie Association)

Matt Cameron and Taylor share vocal duties on this tune (Taylor sings the verses, Matt sings the choruses). Their voices together are pure heaven! Also features Melvins’ Buzz Osbourne snd Steven McDonald on guitar & bass. This group unfortunately only put out 2 songs during the pandemic, but they’re a magical 2.

3. I Could Be Somebody Else (NHC)

Psychedelic in every aspect of that word, this one is best experienced cranked with headphones. Trippy as hell. Dave Navarro was right when he said Taylor is a mind-blowing lyricist and singer. Another emotionally raw tune, when he said one of NHC’s songs makes him feel naked, I think he was referring to this one.

4. Running In Place (Taylor Hawkins & the Coattail Riders)

This song takes you on a journey. It eases you in, then crescendos into classic prog-influenced chaos before it turns to a stream of pretty guitar work and layered vocals as it drops you back off. Taylor said this one was something he wrote talking to himself, trying to bring himself back down to earth and not go crazy. “The Teacher” by Foo Fighters almost certainly took inspiration from this song - the breakdown is nearly identical, and the “…say goodbye” outro is very similar.

5. Too Much for My Own Good (Phil X & the Drills)

This song by Phil X features Taylor on the drums. This is such a fun rock & roll tune that will definitely be stuck in your head for days but you won’t be mad about it. Every person I’ve ever played this to has loved it!! PS- you’ve definitely heard Phil X before, his discography as a studio musician is wild.

6. You Drive Me Insane (Taylor Hawkins & the Coattails Riders)

I love the trippy riff and the vocals in this song, it’s a California rock & roll vibe and it’s one of my top favorites of his. One of his sexier tunes he said was written about Mrs. Alison Hawkins.

7. Southern Belles

No group credited as he played every instrument and sang this one! (I think the bass is either Chris Chaney or Nate Mendel, but I couldn’t find out for sure). This is a heavy-hitting, super catchy one about his southern family roots. Really under-appreciated track from the same EP that gave us “Range Rover Bitch”.

8. Never Enough (Taylor Hawkins and the Coattail Riders)

Taylor’s vocal range doesn’t get talked about enough… The cathartic way he belts his heart out at the end of this song gets me every single time. His voice was so beautiful. Another of that emotionally raw side of his music.

9. It’s Ok Now (Taylor Hawkins and the Coattail Riders)

Another earworm, this one’s rhythm is bound to make you move. His voice is pure rock and roll. I think you can really hear how much his songwriting impacted the Foo Fighters’ music on this album, even though many people think Dave told everyone what to play…when you really listen, that doesn’t seem to be the case. This song feels like summer sunshine to me.

10. Guess I’ll Go Away (Edgar Winter)

Taylor on vocals for “Brother Johnny”, a tribute to Johnny Winter album, this was one of the last things he did musically. He SLAYED that shit. He sounds so good. Rock and fucking roll.

11. Louise (Taylor Hawkins and the Coattail Riders)

I have no idea how he played that drumbeat and sang this song at the same time. Mind boggling. This song is so unique and so catchy, I don’t get why it wasn’t a hit. The rhythm section is my favorite part of the whole thing, Taylor and Chris Chaney locked in together SO well. It’s no wonder they played together from the Alanis days all the way up to him putting the ‘C’ in NHC.

12. Fearless (NHC)

This is a Pink Floyd cover…But it’s an amazing one! It’s groovy and trippy and they’re so locked in together, they were made to play music with each other. NHC unfortunately has a very small discography, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have selected a cover…but maybe I would’ve anyway, this one is just so good!

13. You’re No Good at Life No More (Taylor Hawkins and the Coattail Riders)

Taylor and Dave Grohl split the vocals on this one and it’s such a wild ride. You can really hear his Queen influence throughout this album… so much so that he manifested Roger Taylor’s appearance on the last track! D&T’s voices together are magic as you hear on “Rope” by Foo Fighters and their cover of “Come Together”, I always wish they sang together more often.

14. Perfect Day

Only a minute long, this beautiful song is just Taylor and his guitar. A sweet reminder he wrote for Mrs. Hawkins that his love is always with her no matter where he goes. I’m sure she treasures this one. There’s so much love in it.

[deth-of-a-junkie]

i have a lot of postal dude headcanons, so ive split them up.

so heres my postal 1 dude headcanons

p1 dude has a special interest on the jets and weaponry used in ww2 and the vietnam war, but also the U.S military as a whole. he specifically likes to collect vintage U.S military memorabilia and propaganda. he can go on for hours about the faults of the government and government greed and corruption, he hates the system. he also knows a lot about JFK assassination theories and will go on for hours about them.

oh yeah. postal 1 dude is autistic.

he also has a spin on guns. he knows them all by name and loves to learn about different manufacturers and how each one are built. he knows how to deconstruct them and put them back together. he even has some guns he's made himself. legal? probably not. he doesnt care.

p1 dude also prefers reading in books for information instead of searching the web for them, so amongst the mess of his house is just piles upon piles of books.

p1 dude also is great at poetry. he loves writing too, which is why i think he started his diaries.

he also loves drawing! he loves going out and drawing scenery the most, he also likes drawing nude figures. he finds the human body to be interesting.

p1 dude is religious. im divided on if i see him as someone whos spiritually aligned closer to catholics (though i wouldnt call him a straight up catholic, he doesn't like the church.) or pagen.

talking about pagen dude, correct me if im wrong, i dont know much about pagenism (but ive been trying to learn more as of recent), but he specifically worships greek gods. out of the gods, his favorite is ares.

he hangs around poostall dude a lot. they arent really friends, they're kinda opposites of each other, but poostall looks up to him as a mentor in philosophy among other things.

he used to be active in his local punk scene when he was younger. he has a lot of cds and tapes of obscure bands that almost no one has heard of.

he loves metal more then anything though, and he also has a large collection of horror films (all on vhs, a few of dvd. he doesnt have his dvd player plugged in so he only uses it if he has too. also refused to buy blueray. if its the only option he burns it onto a disk himself.).

his favorite genres of metal are melodic death metal and prog metal. i would also say dsbm but i feel like thats too corny. he loves opeth. also death.

he's non-speaking most of the time by choice. the older he's gotten the more he started to isolate himself, and he usually chooses to ignore people when theyre talking and not respond at all, mainly just people who ask for directions and stuff on the street he'll just ignore. he just doesnt feel the need too, he likes to stay invisible.

talking about that, he hates leaving his house. it used to be because of anxiety but it slowly became due to his other mental health issues getting worse, especially his fear of everyone being out to get him/everyone else being demons/whatever your interpretation of his reasonings behind postal 1 is.

3 in one shampoo. also uses hand soap to shave instead of shaving cream. also uses hand soap to wash his face...

he needs glasses. his sunglasses also has his normal prescription lenses in them, his eyes are sensitive to light so he chose to make them sunglasses too (i believe this is possible. if its not, well it is now). he also has a 2nd pair that are just normal glasses, he uses them only to read or when he's walking around his house at night. (this is totally not me self reflecting with the realization that i just found out i need glasses..../s)

I DONT KNOW HOW I FORGOT TO MENTION but also has a special interest on nuclear disasters, nuclear power plants, and radiation. theyre not separate theyre all apart of one fixation that branches off the core idea of nuclear power. like he cant have one without the other. if that makes sense.

also uses he/they. he doesnt out right say it, he doesnt use social media so its not like, in a bio or anything. he just naturally picked it up. will also accept she being used to refer to himself, but is not something he states publicly or asks people to do. he was surrounded by the queer community growing up as most of his highschool friends were apart of the community so he just one day realized he wasnt opposed to it being used in reference to himself.

he is an ASSHOLE. he used to be more considerate in his youth but the older he got the grumpier he got. he is SCARY when he insults someone. like he will have an entire ass speech of him just degrading someone until they literally have nothing left to say for themselves.

doesnt get angry though. he's calm when hes upset and frustrated, or will straight up just make fun of and make harsh jokes about the situation (i mean that like. if he gets into a disagreement with someone on the street he will laugh at them and mock them by teasing them. thats what i mean.)

[hananoami]

[08/11] Deepspace Trials Prog

[08/05 to 08/11] WEEKLY KEYS USED

☆ XAVIER : 3/3 keys ; cleared stage 150 on Thursday, 08/08! ☆ ZAYNE : 3/3 keys ; cleared stage 150 on Tuesday, 08/06! ☆ RAFAYEL : 3/3 keys ; cleared stage 150 on Saturday, 08/10! ☆ SYLUS : 9/9 keys ; going to Stage 34 on Tuesday. ☆ OPEN ORBIT : cleared stage 180 on Sunday, 08/11!

THIS WEEK WAS BIIIG IN TERMS OF PROGRESS!! I manage to clear ALL 180 stages of open orbit as well as Xavier's, Zayne's, Rafayel's 150 directional orbits, respectively!! All that's left to work on is Sylus's directional orbits. Currently en prog to stage 80!

𝚇𝙰𝚅𝙸𝙴𝚁

Stage 148 was a Frenzy stage. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to defeat the frenzy wanderer in the second phase, but that's okay. I was still able to clear within the time limit! Which makes me wonder if you really need to get the buff from all three rounds? Probably not, but it sure as heck helps defeat the final boss if you do.

My post clear write up + VOD for Xavier’s Directional Orbit: Light - Stage 150 will be written soon. A link to that post will be included [here] at a later time.

Directional Orbit: Light Protofield Stellactrum

148: 5 emerald, 1 pearl (frenzy) -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

149: 5 emerald, 1 pearl -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

150: 6 emerald (team 01) + 6 amber (team 02) -- rewards: 4k gold + 40 💎+ 1x Empyrean Wish

𝚉𝙰𝚈𝙽𝙴

Stage 148 was a protect the stabilizer stage. Which doesn't seem that hard since it's a 5 minute fight with wanderers coming in 5 waves before the final boss. However, one thing I really hated about this run was the constant stuns... ugh, so annoying.

My post clear write up + VOD for Zayne’s Directional Orbit: Ice - Stage 150 will be written soon. A link to that post will be included [here] at a later time.

Directional Orbit: Ice Protofield Stellactrum

148: 5 sapphire, 1 amber (protect stabilizer) -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

149: 5 sapphire, 1 amber-- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

150: 6 sapphire (team 01) + 6 ruby (team 02) -- rewards: 4k gold + 40 💎+ 1x Empyrean Wish

𝚁𝙰𝙵𝙰𝚈𝙴𝙻

For Stage 148, I also had trouble finishing off the frenzy wanderer before the buff dissipated. It seems to be a trend with me not being able to get the buff in time... Really hate that chonky wanderer lol but in hindsight I probably should've saved my burst damage for it instead of using it right away on the wanderer with two protocore shields. Ah well... I still managed to clear, but next time I'll try to plan it better.

My post clear write up + VOD for Rafayel’s Directional Orbit: Fire - Stage 150 will be written soon. A link to that post will be included [here] at a later time.

Directional Orbit: Fire Protofield Stellactrum

147: none -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

148: 5 violet, 1 ruby (boss absorbs mobs) -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

149: 5 violet, 1 ruby -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

150: 6 violet (team 01) + 6 pearl (team 02) -- rewards: 4k gold + 40 💎+ 1x Empyrean Wish

𝚂𝚈𝙻𝚄𝚂

Aside from his Stage 30, which required 2 teams, most of Sylus's directional orbits we challenged this week were a breeze to clear. I'm enjoying this while it lasts...

My post clear write up + VOD for Sylus’s Directional Orbit: Energy - Stage 30 will be written soon. A link to that post will be included [here] at a later time.

Directional Orbit: Energy Protofield Stellactrum

25: 2 pearl, 2 emerald – rewards: 4k gold + 40 💎 + 4x bottle of wishes: sr

26: 2 pearl, 2 emerald -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

27: none -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

28: 2 emerald, 1 sapphire -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

29: 2 emerald, 1 sapphire -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

30: 2 emerald, 2 sapphire (team 01) + 3 pearl, 1 violet (team 02) -- rewards: 4k gold + 40 💎+ 1x Empyrean Wish

31: 3 pearl, 1 sapphire -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

32: 3 pearl, 1 sapphire -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

33: 3 pearl, 1 sapphire (activate beacon) -- rewards: 2k gold + 20 💎

𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽 𝙾𝚁𝙱𝙸𝚃

Today I went from Stage 150 -> 180. I have a lot to cover from this orbit alone so a more detailed post about those runs will be linked [here] at a later time.

My post clear write up + VOD for Open Orbit - Stage 150 will be written soon. A link to that post will be included [here] at a later time. My post clear write up + VOD for Open Orbit - Stage 160 will be written soon. A link to that post will be included [here] at a later time. My post clear write up + VOD for Open Orbit - Stage 170 will be written soon. A link to that post will be included [here] at a later time. My post clear write up + VOD for Open Orbit - Stage 180 will be written soon. A link to that post will be included [here] at a later time.

[celticbotanart]

ALRIGHT, since Halloween is just around the corner and this blog is ALSO about sharing and talking about my full-time hyperfixation (music), I want to make some recommendations of "unusual" or just unknown songs that very well fit the theme! I've mentioned before that I love making thematic playlists and that I have rules for them everything (it's serious shit!!), so I wanna share some of the songs featured in my "Ecclectic Halloween" playlist. The two basic rules I applied for that playlist are:

The song MUST include anything supernatural, spooky, bizarre, "murder/serial killer", classic creature and so on

The song can be of ANY genre; is it metal? Prog? Disco? Electronic? Soundtrack? COOL, ALL ARE WELCOME!

Let's get started!

1 - Rainbow - Tarot Woman

As an unapologetic 70s dad rock advocate, I HAVE to start with one of my fave bands of the genre! The song begins with a DOPE synth/keyboard solo, and then iconic Dio (the one Dio from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure was named after) comes in with a bunch of cryptic imagery, like the predictions the tarot woman is telling him as she turns the cards side on:

Something in the air Tells me to beware - No, no, no! Her love is like a knife She'll carve away your life - So go, go, go! Beware of a place, a smile on a bright shiny face I'll never return, how do you know? Tarot woman! But I don't know, I don't know!

2 - Blackmore's Night - I Guess It Doesn't Matter Anymore

From the same breed of the first song, cause Blackmore was the guitar player / composer for Rainbow - except that Blackmore's Night is a project he made way later (late 90s), with his wife Candice Night, who sings all the songs and composes with him. This song is about the CLASSIC tale of someone giving a lift to a mysterious woman they found wandering at the side of the road; when they get to the place she wanted to go and asks to leave, the driver turns around! And the lady, she's suddenly gone!!!!!

Standing in the rain, the cold and angry rain In a long white dress, a girl without a name She stood beneath the light, Glowing like a candle bright I guess it doesn't matter anymore (...) Finally she spoke, 'come pull off the road' Saying she was headin' home I turned and she was gone, I was all alone

3- Loreena McKennitt - The Bonny Swans

You might be asking: "Oriel, what the fuck, why is soft spoken-christmas songs-traditional folk medieval instruments Loreena McKennitt in this playlist at all??? With a song named like THAT?? What is so scary about pretty glorified ducks anyway?" - And to that I'll say right off the bat this is the most metal song in the entire playlist, and I say this unironically. This song is inspired by an old ballad and it tells about a girl who was drowned by her own sister out of jealousy of her betrothed; the sister kills her so she can have the lad for herself. It already has murder, as you can tell - but it gets WORSE, as the body of the drowned girl floats down the river and is found by a miller's daughter; a passing-by bard then uses the dead girl's bones and golden hair to make a harp that plays on it's own, possessed by the dead girl's spirit???? She (as the harp) asks to be taken to the court, the bard takes her, and AS A CURSED HARP MADE OF BONES the dead girl outs her sister as her murderer, in front of the entire family and the court. Look. If this isn't METAL AF, I don't know what ELSE can be. The "bonny swans" from the title comes from the comparison Loreena makes of the pale girl's body floating in the water, to swans swimming along. kkkkkkkkkkk JESUS.

He made harp pins of her fingers fair With a hey ho and a bonny o He made harp strings of her golden hair The swans swim so bonny o He made a harp of her breast bone With a hey ho and a bonny o And straight it began to play alone The swans swim so bonny o He brought it to her father's hall With a hey ho and a bonny o And there was the court, assembled all The swans swim so bonny o He laid the harp upon a stone With a hey ho and a bonny o And straight it began to play lone The swans swim so bonny o

4- Sting - Moon Over Bourbon Street

Probably one of the most fun songs in this, because it's a song written by Sting, inspired by Anne Rice's "Interview With the Vampire"! The song is under Louis' PoV, and he laments his current condition as a vampire and also as a man of god, as he wanders through New Orleans's streets. This Sting's live performance of this song (the live in Berlin, 2010) is my favorite by far - there's a whole ass epic orchestra and even a theremin! hehe

I pray everyday to be strong For I know what I do must be wrong Oh you'll never see my shade or hear the sound of my feet While there's a moon over Bourbon Street It was many years ago that I became what I am I was trapped in this life like an innocent lamb Now I can never show my face at noon And you'll only see me walking by the light of the moon

5- AQUA - Halloween

Yes, THAT AQUA - turns out they DO have more songs other than Barbie Girl, and they actually slap - I was there in the 90s, when the Deep Eurodance Magic was written. I LOVE this one because it has such a fun vibe, and obviously, inspired by the "Halloween" movie franchise - Lene plays as the girl alone at night who receives a call from René, playing as the psycho who's after her. They even act that scene at the begining of the song dsjfhjsdgf so cool!

The sound of shoes, a shadow that moves Something odd is tic tac ticking Someone's in here, I'm so full of fear The telephone is ringing!!

6- E Nomine - Das Tier In Mir

ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVES IN THIS PLAYLIST. E Nomine was (?) a German electronic music project who DARED to mix in dark techno/trance beats AND CHANTS IN LATIN, as this deep-voiced dude sings/borderline-raps in German. ITS HARD TO EXPLAIN, BUT I PROMISE, ITS SO SO SO DOPE. They also sang about all sorts of religious / dark fantasy themes - they have an entire album based on the Bible, which I promise, they made it a LOT MORE RAD AND COOL than it sounds; and another album about the supernatural and all kinds of creatures, like vampires, ghosts, werewolves, demons. "Das Tier in Mir" or "The Animal In Me" is their "werewolf" song - it starts off with this kid singing in Latin about the forest, and the moonlight, and the song goes on with Deep Voice Dude singing under the werewolf's perspective; it even features a dramatic transformation sequence!!

[Latin]The forest is hidden, in the moonlight, My home is the forest In the starlight (...) Dark clouds and dark thoughts, The full-moon night smashes my barriers down. The animal desire that I massacre comes in me. I feel this bloodlust here and now. Deep in the night the twinkling stars, A sweet smell is drawing me into the distance. But careful if my passion gets aroused quite gently in the night And the hunter wakes up in me! (Translation from here - it's rather clunky, but that's the gist of it!)

7- E Nomine - Mitternacht

Yep! Another one by E Nomine, BECAUSE THEY JUST SLAP TOO HARD. "Mitternacht", or "Midnight" is pretty much about the Witching Hour, all the spirits comes out when the bell strikes midnight!! This one is SUCH A FAVORITE of mine because it sounds EXACTLY what a DJ would play as vampires dressed in fancy, old outfits and masks waltz around in a haunted, opulent manor

When the gondolas are in mourning and the dead's lament resounds horror is breathing down your neck When the clock starts striking cold thick fog is touching you gently ...midnight! [Latin] midnight, dark night, cruelty of the soul the bell is ringing twelve times ...midnight! (Translation from here - same from previous song, kinda clunky but we get it)

8- Dead or Alive - Something In My House

Another classic banger with the catchiest fucking tune ever, by You-Spin-Me-Right-Round-Baby-Right-Round Dead or Alive, sung by ICONIC genderfucker wizard Pete Burns (the Gender Envy of him in this video is real). I have to admit, this one is SLIGHTLY cheating on my rules, cause the "something in my house" in question is not anything supernatural - it's a metaphor for a gone-wrong relationship, lol. Ngl, I think this is kinda fucking brilliant. But like, the spooky, Halloween-y vibes are all there nonetheless: wolves are howling, Pete is singing in an old castle and looking 200% like a vampire. Even if I'm cheating a little, it still fits!

There is something in my house - my house, It's just a ghost of a long long dead affair, There is something in my house - my house, I just keep a hearing you runnin' on up my stairs, But you're not there

9- League of Legends - Fiddlesticks, The Harbinger of Doom

Finally, some soundtracks! I don't play LoL, but I absolutely love some of the character's themes, and Fiddlestick's is one of them! For what I've got, Fiddlesticks is like this ancient, nightmare-ish Freddie Krugger-like entity, and BOY, does the song reflect exactly THAT. It SOUNDS like a horror movie, and I'm obsessed about it!!

When fields lie calm and wind stands still (Run home, run home) As the crows make night of the fading Sun (Hide now, hide now) When the trees do bow, as if they weep (Stay down, stay down) Though its light beckons forth, a melody calls out (Too late, too late)

10- The Alan Parson's Project - The Cask of Amontillado

And!!! Last but not least!! Closing this playlist with THIS ULTIMATE DAD PROG ROCK BANGER, which as you can see, is inspired by Poe's tale "The Cask of Amontillado". In fact, the entire album where that song comes from, "Tales of Mystery and Imagination - Edgar Allan Poe", is inspired by his work. Yeah there are also songs on "The Raven" and "The Fall of the House of Usher" too for example! It's just so cool! But "The Cask of Amontillado" is by far my favorite, specially with the instrumental part at the end, ughhhh <3

By the last breath of the four winds that blow I'll have revenge upon Fortunato Smile in his face I'll say "come let us go I've a cask of Amontillado" (...) You who are rich and whose troubles are few May come around to see my point of view What price the Crown of a King on his throne When you're chained in the dark all alone

This is definitely a long ass post, and I really had to cut it even shorter bc of Tumblr's dumbass video limit, but that's alright. I might even put up a part II, hehe I hope you like the Halloween-y songs recs!!