#4 going and seeing a prof i know and them asking me why im here and saying i shouldnt be doing a phd

[bayrut]

was invited to one of the programs i applied to's annual research day??? it's next week should i go

[kingofhearts709]

its been years and years and i found it in my drafts so lets go!!! update time!!!

nicknames: call me vinnie or pj!

gender: trans masc nonbinary! they/them are my main pronouns, and sometimes he/him! you can also call me "girl" in same way you can call me "bro"

star sign: leo/virgo cusp! august 23rd babey

height: im 5'6.5" and yes i count the half inch!!!! its what they said at the doctors office!!!

time: its 10:49pm because its my day off so i dont have to go to bed early!!

birthday: like i said, august 23rd! its also the day pompeii was covered in volcanic ash. thats the only fact i know.

favourite bands: ninja sex party is my favourite band!!! GOAT for me!!!

favourite solo artist: dont really have one!! been listening to a lot of doja cat recently tho <3

song stuck in my head: funnily enough, "ain't shit" by doja cat! listened to the song like 3 times today

last movie i watched: sonic the hedgehog!! funny lil blue dude

last show i watched: JUST finished season 2 of brooklyn-99!!! jake peralta is my current blorbo and current love of my life

when did i create my blog: long time ago! lots of years ago. never changed the url or the username!

what do i post: things i like, art i like, anything, really!

last thing i googled: "la knight" because he unexpectedly showed up in an episode of b99 as a guy getting married and i wanted to know if he had a wife or not

do i have any other blogs: if you like aesthetic, visit my aesthetic blog, @vpj-aesthetics !! prof pic and bg pic are both my art and the blog is just for fun!!

do i get asks: nah. but do feel free to send me anything if you feel like it!

why i chose my url: it was already my username on everything else, so i just carried it over

following: a LOT of people

followers: also a LOT of people imho, like 1400 or something

average hours of sleep: idk. anywhere from 4 to 11 hours. depends on my burnout that week

lucky number: dont have one! although i love increments of five. they just remind me of blocks :)

instruments: piano, violin, ukulele, and my voice. and a music program if that counts!

what am i wearing: faux jorts. fjorts, if you will. and a sleeveless tank with a quote from the love simon book, "why is straight the default?" bc it was difficult for me to get better pride themed stuff at the time

dream job: musician and/or writer! something involved with those somehow! or something where i can just organise all day every day forever

dream trip: i wanna go to LONDON i wanna see the london eye and go to museums and drive on the other side of the road!!!!

favourite food: sushi! gimme a roll of sushi without cream cheese and ill kiss you

nationality: if you havent guessed it, im american. specifically californian so you cna go ahead and make the cali jokes. theyre probably all true hehe

favourite song: "wish you were here" by pink floyd. listened to it a lot when i was in high school getting through depression. very grounding

last book read: can i count fanfiction? ive been reading my old fics. if it doesnt, i have a half read book in my bag i havent touched in months. "ghost hunters adventure club" book 2

top three fictional universes id want to join: first off, i wanna be in the doctor who universe, no question. also because ive been binging it, i wanna be in the brooklyn-99 universe AS a detective in the 99 because shut up!!!! thirdly, i think being in the saiki k. universe would be interesting

alright, update over! later y'all! im gonna go update more fics hehe

™ 『 30 questions 』

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs who have to answer them!

@lilbubsie tagged me!!!

1. nicknames: vi, vinnie, bear, face, baby, sweetheart

2. gender: male

3. star sign: leo/virgo, but i usually just go with leo

4. height: 5’8″ or something?

5. time: 10:47 pm

6. birthday: august (agust d) 23rd

7. favorite bands: currently bts and twice (LIKEY IS SO GOOD I CAN’T STOP DOING THE LITTLE DANCE) and then some bands everywhere

8. favorite solo artist: i don’t really listen to many solo artists actually. i guess psy is a solo artist. hyunah, taemin too. p!nk is a babe of mine <3

9. song stuck in my head: likey by twice because i wrote it and now i’m just going “na na na-na-na na na”

10. last movie i watched: before i start watching one right now, i think it was good will hunting. i didn’t watch it all the way through but i’ve seen it already. good movie, definitely recommend it <3

11. last show i watched: american horror story! if you’re talking about what i watched on my own, it was the devil is a part timer. i watch ahs with my mom

12. when did i create my blog: this is a question even i can’t answer. i don’t know, somewhere around four years ago or something? they still haven’t let me  update my blog so i can view nsfw stuff even though i’m 18. hopefully it’ll fix when it turns 2018

13. what do i post: pretty much anything and everything. lots of memes and relatable™ posts, and then lots and lots of bts and got7 or any general k-pop

14. last thing i googled: ”monster madness battle for suburbia characters” I WANTED TO KNOW IF MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE WAS ONE OF THE VOICES

15. do i have any other blogs: i do but i never post anything on them. well i do for @itsminsugastd, which is just a fanblog(?) of what i imagine min yoongi would post (also has a twitter under the same name lmao) because i get bored, so that’s just every once in awhile. i’ve got a fanfic blog @kingofhearts709-fanfiction that i’ve neglected because i literally can’t write anything on because i suck

16. do i get asks: i wish i got more asks. come send me some about whatever you want to talk about! can be nsfw, can just be fun, can be a question or comment, literally you can say something totally random and i’ll roll with it

17. why i chose my url: it was originally my deviantart username (which i am still active on mind you) and i just carried it over to all my other medias

18. following: 2415. i like a lot of content

19. followers: 889! lots of porn-bots follow me for some reason, and it’s taken me literally four years to get this many so w o w

20. average hours of sleep: depends. maybe 6 on average? sometimes more if i’m really tired, sometimes less if i wanna stay up and play video games or other things

21. lucky number: it’s been 17 and stuff like 101 for awhile. it used to be my age every single year and that’s when i’d change it, but 18 doesn’t feel like a lucky number to me

22. instruments: piano, ukulele (sort of) and violin! i guess sort of guitar but i don’t really like playing it, my fingers don’t cooperate

23. what am i wearing: some green pyjama bottoms, a doctor who shirt i fashioned into a sleeveless crop top, a grey camo bandana to keep my hair out of my face, and my big chunky glasses <3 

24. dream job: i would LOVE to be a writer or something! or maybe a singer or musician. but i really like just having a job and doing lots of hobbies, so my realistic dream job would just be a place (like a corporate company or something) that i could grow in and have it be enough to support me so i could go home and do all my hobbies i like to do

25. dream trip: i’ve always really wanted to go to the uk. i don’t know if it’s my inner tween telling me this, but the uk (probably london and then i would branch out to like wales and stuff) has always been really cool to me. then probably japan, china, korea, etc.

26. favorite food: sushi! if you buy me sushi i will love you forever

27. nationality: i guess american? no one ever asks me this question

28. favorite song: anything from moulin rouge! is a good one. and then of course beyond that it’s impossible to choose

29. last book read: speak. i didn’t even finish it but i’ve read it about ten times and it makes me really sad and thought-provoking when i finish it. sensitive topics, but it’s a really good read.

30. top three fictional universes i’d want to join: ouran koukou host club universe, they look like they have so much damn fun. and of course the doctor who universe, i don’t watch it anymore, but i’d love to just see a blue police box and have my dreams come true. i can’t really think of a third one, i guess the sherlock universe? that would be super cool.

thanks to lilbubsie for tagging me! i don’t really have anyone else to tag, so how bout i just say that ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO IT JUST FILL IT OUT! i tag all of you! xoxo

[muwur]

long distance headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for daichi, suga, hinata & tsukki

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.5k words

a/n: hello yall this is my first post! nobody asked, but i just started this haikyuu reader insert blog, feel free to check my page n see wazzap. also requests are open pls come fhorfjepfiwf;

daichi

✧ after high school, he stayed in miyagi while you went to tokyo, about 5 hours away, for college

✧ texting or calling whenever u can!

✧ you be like “heyyy”

✧ then he clap back with a “go focus on your lecture”

✧ “im not in lectureee”

✧ “you gave me your schedule so i know you’re in the middle of class”

✧ “...”

✧ makes sure you’re awake on time for your classes and calls you if he thinks you’re oversleeping (and hes usually right, this man just KNOWS)

✧ “morning y/n, i think you need to get to class soon”

✧ “mmrghhhghhh” *checks time* “holy sHI-- i forgot to set my alarm. IMMA BE LATE. THANKS DAICHI I LOVE YOU ILL TALK TO YOU LATER BYE”

✧ definitely skips out on some nights out with his friends to video chat you. you catch up, talk about future plans, reminisce, complain about not being able to hug one another, etc. occasionally one of you falls asleep on call, particularly after a long day or week. if he sleeps, you make sure you screenshot his sleeping face and start a picture collection  

✧ you hit him up when you get drunk lMAO

✧ “daiichiii, i miss youuu, i needdd youuuu AND i needa peeee---” “hey daichi, this is y/n’s friend. y/n’s pretty out of it now but they’ll be okay! we’re heading back to our place right now” “im gonna pEE IN THIS CAR”

✧ daichi coordinates with your friends to make sure you arrive home safely, use the bathroom, and get tucked into bed. he thanks the universe you have good friends. if it weren’t for them he’d probs have a heart attacc. sends you cute, reassuring voice messages for you to wake up to the next morning with hangover tips he learned from suga

✧ always checks in with you throughout the day, every day. able to pick up on the slightest hints if you’re feeling unwell and calls you immediately to try to make you feel better

✧ makes plans to visit you! you get really excited to introduce him to your college friends (who, after meeting him, tell you not only is he a hottie but is such a kind guy, fosho a keeper. they also ask if he has any cute friends)

✧ either holding your hand or has an arm around you most of the time.

✧ you spend all day together outside and wandering the city, then spend the night back at your place (sorry roommate, but we’re gonna have to kick you out for a lil bit--)    

sugawara

✧ you finally secured a job! unfortunately, the company required you to work for a year at their main facility, which was a 4 hour drive away from miyagi

✧ if suga wasn’t needed in miyagi for his teaching job, he would’ve tried to come with you

✧ after unloading your things in your new apartment and before parting ways, suga was like

✧ “everything’s unloaded everything from the car?”

✧ “yes maam”

✧ “do you have enough snacks?”

✧ “we just went to the grocery hun”

✧ “did you bring enough underwear?”

✧ “gDI yEs I dID”

✧ “:c promise to call me often”

✧ “<3333 of course”</p>

✧ good morning texts before y’all leave for work! you send each other cute pictures when you’re getting ready for the day (suga with bedhead, brushing his teeth? suga with his tie half done?? sign me up)

✧ always texts you when something reminds him of you, usually sends a picture along with it

✧ “the store was having a special on oranges today! this one reminds me of you”

✧ “why”

✧ “it just looks so cute~”

✧ will immediately call you if you send him any sort of message that worries him

-“hello? y/n what’s wrong, why is there blood?? speak to me, you haven’t replied in 5 minutes”

✧ “ohhh my bad, i’m just cleaning up don’t worry! i didn’t explain, but the picture i sent you isn’t blood, it’s ketchup i spilled on myself lolol”

✧ poor man nearly fainted from worry

✧ would pay you a surprise visit, making sure to plan it carefully so he knew you weren’t busy with work or plans. brings you gifts of your favorite snacks and a scarf that matches one of his own for the upcoming winter

✧ plans out that weekend for y’all, mans did his research beforehand. together, you toured the city and the surrounding nature, took lots of selfies (and many candids of you), and taste tested lots of foods before returning to your apartment and collapsing into your bed with exhaustion

✧ but y’all not too tired for cuddling n a lil something else >.>

hinata

✧ sure, being a couple hours away was hard for some... but y’all in different countries right now

✧ calls you immediately when there’s any inconvenience that occurs in his life, no matter how minor, thinking you’ll know how to fix it (or at least give him the reassurance he needs)

✧ “hey y/n...”

✧ “what’s wrong? you sound worried”

✧ “i broke my bike, what do i do”

✧ “you what? are you alright?? how? where are you? it’s midnight there, honey”

✧ “i was biking back to my apartment after staying late to practice! i didn’t wanna hit this turtle, so i swerved into a pole and now my bike’s wrecked :**”

✧ “ahh, are you okay?? you’re not hurt are you :(”

✧ “no, im okay... but im tired and i have two miles to go ;(((”

✧ “;( im sorry babe but you gotta walk home. we’ll get you a new bike. ill stay on the phone with you until you get back. tell me about your day <3″</p>

✧ talks about you all the time to his friends! introduces you through video chat to them! “look how pretty and cute y/n is!”

✧ together you work out your time differences and busy schedules so you can chat whenever possible

✧ he lets you know whenever he bought something for you, but never shows it to you because he’s excited to see your reaction in person when you reunite

✧ always asks you to send him pictures of yourself, he wants to see what you look like everyday he’s missing you in real life

✧ you surprise visit HIM. he’s so happy he could cry. shows you around every place he loves, shows you off to everyone he knows, holds your hand the entire time and never wants to let go, is practically glued to you not that you mind  

✧ you spend your last night together lying in the grass, hand in hand, looking at the stars and sharing sweet kisses  

tsukishima

✧ y’all went to separate universities. while he stayed relatively close to miyagi, you went across the country to okinawa, which was about a 3 hour flight away

✧ he sees all the couples around campus n becomes lowkey bitter, texts you immediately about gross pda like hand holding that he secretly wishes he could do with you “these people in relationships are too happy, i didn’t ask to see them gawk at each other all day” “u just miss me lmao”

✧ once overheard a convo on a shuttle at school that went like :

✧ person 1: “ugh, he’s so cute”

✧ person 2: “why dont you go out with him??”

✧ person 1: “i dunno, his dorm’s down the street, i can’t really do long distance”

✧ nANI (by the way, this is a irl conversation my friend overheard, oml)

✧ tsukki nearly choked on his morning coffee

✧ bothers texts you in class bc he’s bored and in need of your attention

✧ “hey tsukki this prof’s lectures are rlly dense, i needa focus, ill text u after”

✧ “but arent i more interesting than rocks”

✧ “trust me, id even rather watch some dino documentaries with you than be here”

✧ *read*

✧ likes to chat with you most nights as he lies in bed before going to sleep, staring up at the dark ceiling and listening to your voice through his headphones. usually just talking about how your days went (as if you weren’t texting all day) or just casual talk and banter

✧ you remind him to make sure he’s taking care of himself and eating well

✧ “who are you? my mother?”

✧ “no but you’re about to be single”

✧ surprise visits you, tells you it was yamaguchi’s idea when it was really his own and yamaguchi was just teasing him about it  

✧ you show him around the city, sharing what you know about its rich history and culture. you visit most areas you both wanted to see before calling it a day

✧ your roommate conveniently spends that night over at their friend’s they just wanna give you alone time, which y’all very much needed. you make it a note to repay your roommate somehow.

✧ sweet lovin that he’s been missing, then some spooning as you sleep    

a/n: just wanna tackle these about 4 characters at a time but if u wanna see this headcanon w/ other characters feel free to hmu w/ an ask <3<b> also sorry if i text type a lot and that im inconsistent with my apostrophes, let me know if that’s something you want me to fix! 

[dreamsafterhours]

college boyfriend!markhyuk au series: II (donghyuk’s pathway)

a universe in which roommates!markhyuk meet each other's s/o in class

markhyuk are roommates, my/n and dy/n are roommates, mark and dy/n take classes together and so do donghyuk and my/n — how will their fates intertwine?

genre: fluff pairings: platonic!mark+dy/n format: dotpoint AU universe: non idol, college best friend warning: a lil swearing (best get used to it lol)

masterlist

or click here to continue your friendship with paediatrics!haechan!

I ⇤ | II | ⇥ III

II: relationship consolidation.. it’s platonic i swear

the fellowship continues (mark + dy/n)

so the month that follows your first meeting

is full of

a mixture of crackheadedness and tortured artist vibes

a lot of it is sending lit memes and other shit to each other at 2am when u have an 8am the next morning and yelling at each other for keeping u up so late but then laughing again at whatever the ridiculous punchline was

“to quote shakespeare’s hamlet, act v, scene ii, line 270: no”

/deep inhale/ /unhinged laughter/

that’s your inside joke for a whole two weeks mark couldn’t get the numbers right the first few times uwu poor confused thing but he got it after a while so good on him

in the second class after the first day, you try your best to find in him the crowd of people lining up to go into the lecture theatre but you can’t and it’s almost time to go in and—

oop you’re getting swept by the current of the masses

you still try to look for him even then

and luckily your attempts pay off !bc you do see him further up the stairs

,, but he’s

,.talking to another person, sitting in a seat on the end of the row 

slightly disappointed that you can’t sit together and get to know him better and hopefully become friends but !! still optimistic that you’ll just make new friends

you file into an empty seat near his row a little further down the stairs from where he was sitting

you take out your materials and start to go over your notes from the day before when

someone plops himself down on the seat next to you

you look up and before you can smile in greeting, you recognise

it’s mark!!

he says “heyyy” in that rlly soft voice idk if you’ve seen the vid of him going ʰᶦ but that’s the voice he uses here

and you’re like “oh hi! wait i thought i saw you sitting over there” pointing behind u

and he’s like “oh i just met a friend and i was saving his girlfriend’s seat haha.. she just arrived so they kicked me out and i saw u and !!yeah”

and u nod at him like “nice nice i thought you ditched me” jokingly ofc

“no no i was actually trying to find you but.. you’re too short”

“i’m what”

/whispers/ “i’m sorry omg don’t kill me pls”

/stands up straighter to assert dominance/ “say that again, marcus. say that again”

ajsagdfo cuties

“ok then should we meet somewhere before the lectures”

so you decide on the benches outside the building as Your Spot™

the lecture’s just an introduction to the first text in the syllabus bc . second class

and so there’s quite a bit of note taking,, naturally

mark forgets what the prof says before he can write it down and this particular prof, you learn, is prone to talking fast and then switching the lecture slides before anyone can write anything important down

poor mark is doing a lot of looking up at the slides and then down at his notebook and :(((

so r u but u seem to have better memory than him so u either have the lecture slides up if you’re a typer with your notes or manage to write your notes and still listen to the prof if you’re a writer idk yalls preferences so

meanwhile mark whispers under his breath,, half to himself

“what” don’t we all,, mark.. don’t we all

and he does that a few times so you look over and he’s written barely anything so at that point he’s almost just resorted to listening to the prof and not taking notes at all

then he seems to catch himself and he starts writing down whatever key terms the prof is spewing and you realise

kid’s blanking out lmfao

so you tell him you’ll send your notes over to him after class and he’s like !! R U SURE im so sorry im not used to this sPEED and i can’t put my hand up and ask him to slow down someone else has to do that

and u just nod and tell him it’s all g

so class ends and you wave goodbye (confirming to meet at the benches next week too) to go to your tutorial class that happens to be right after the lecture and so does he,,

and this is your thought process for the next five or so minutes:

there’s only one exit so surely he’s only going outside and not the same way as me

oh look he’s going the same way as me.. i’m sure he’s just going to another building ooh that’s a pretty cool tree

hey we can walk to our next classes together and then split up where we have to go in different directions

is he turning left or right left or right i’m going left left or right left or—wait oh cool

ah there’s a bunch of classes in this building too surely he’s on a different floor. see he’s going up the stairs—wait he’s going up the stairs.. so am i..,,,

nah surely he’s going up another floor

wait if he’s going up another floor.. why isn’t he going on the elevator

does he have a fear of enclosed spaces

does he have childhood trauma in an elevator

maybe he keeps fit by climbing stairs

lol this is my floor, be funny if..

hang on a second

HANG ON A SECOND

“HANG ON A SECOND” that wasn’t one of your thoughts btw that was. out loud

very loud

and he turns around, startled at your voice again

looking up from his phone and eyes getting wider than they were in their initial reaction

“wHAT THE—WAIT HOLD UP HOLD UP HOLD UP—”

he’s giggling at this point bc it’s so funny to him

“HOLD—YOU’RE?? in this tute too??”

“are we??—”

“—in the same class?” yall say that in unison bc that’s the proliferation of a Wholesome Friendship™ right there

u laugh bc wow this is my new best friend

“this is crazyyy”

“yeah what the f..” he highkey cuts himself off bc i mean day 2 guys

but then you

“exactly what the fuck...”

lmfao he knows then that it’s ok to swear with you

n e ways

y’all keep talking until your tutor arrives and lets you in the class

ofc you sit next to each other in the tute as well

you have a great time and class ends quicker than you thought bc you’re having fun and that’s always gewd

so the next few weeks u’re just vibing with each other

walking to class together after ur lectures

walking each other to other classes

studying together in the library in your spare time catching up on content and exploring ideas discussed in tutes for your shakespearean sonnets class

"o romeo, romeo, wherefore were thou and juliet teenage dumbfucks”

he couldn’t stop laughing at that for three days straight

“t..teENAGE /wheeze/ dUMBFUCKS HAHAHAHAHA”

getting pretty close basically

sharing hobbies and music tastes (u find out he plays guitar and it’s the biggest possession he brought into his dorm from his house and listens to frank ocean and john mayer a lot, watches fullmetal alchemist)

sometimes you’ll come to meet him at the benches full on catwalking down the path with your airpods in and resting bitch face on listening to some dope shit while the crowd parts for you and he’s just like O.O

how is she friends with me

he thinks you’re so cool it’s cute

but he’s also alr convinced himself that you’re so out of his league he highkey won’t dare try and make a move

n e ways

he sees ur airpods and he’s like “aren’t you afraid you’re gonna lose them one day”

and you just look at him and go “do i look like a fool, marcus”

he laughs so hard at that

complaining to you abt his roommate in real time over text like

marcus the fool 🤡: “dude he’s whining at me to ‘play with him’ i don’t want to play with him”

marcus the fool 🤡: “now he’s getting jealous of u”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he asks who u think u r”

you: “tell him i would fight him”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he says u won’t win”

you: “bet”

marcus the fool 🤡: “i told him u don’t need to fight for my attention bc uve alr got it”

marcus the fool 🤡: “now he’s fake crying”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he’s telling me to leave the house and leave the kids”

you: “am i a homewrecker now”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he calls u a homewrecker”

you: “tell him i’ll kiss it better”

one day like a month or so into your friendship

you rush to the benches with that look on your face that says you’re about to murder someone which usually disappears when you see him and take out your airpods bc rbf

so he ,, approaches with caution ,,, easy does it,,

yes he’s wondering if it’s your time of month

ngl it åctually was which makes things worse

t e n t a t i v e l y he asks on the way into the lecture theatre

“hey dy/n u ok?? u look.. ok nvm”

bc u lowkey glared at him but u didn’t mean to i swear u just looked at him but u were alr in a bad mood

so ure like “sorry yes i’m fine i didn’t have my coffee today so i may be a bit cranky”

“what happened? u sleep in or smth”

“yeah i slept at 4 last night”

“wHY did u do that”

“idK but i was running late just now and the line at the cafe was so long i stood in line for five minutes and i said nop class is abt to start”

“oh okey”

this keeps bugging him all throughout the lecture

so he turns to u when the lecture is over and he’s like

“u have another lecture next right”

“yes marcus i have another lecture that you’re taking with me”

“come ditch with me i’ll shout u a coffee”

“what really”

“for sure, we can catch up on the lecture in the library tonight”

and you remember that you’d made plans with your roommate my/n to go to the library that night anyway so you agree and let him know

so he’s like “oh rlly? can i bring my roomie along too he probs doesn’t have other plans anyway i hear they’re doing some kind of project so he better not be going anywhere” with a lil frown uwu angery mark

“sure don’t see why not. we’ll all study together”

“nice i’ll let him know”

“cool”

cool

u see where i’m going with this

waggles eyebrows

wink wink nudge nudge

click here to continue your friendship with paediatrics!haechan!

I ⇤ | II | ⇥ III

[hegglespeggles]

How to write an essay you could not care less about in 10 steps

Hello. I have an essay to write.

I am also, (unfortunately) the kind of lazy, apathetic burnout who will only do my FUCKING work if I get really worked up. Usually that ends up meaning all of my papers are spite-fuelled tirades but my profs seem to like them so fine. I hope you find this particular raging tirade useful.

Today, I would like to educate the 4 of you that will actually see this on a fine art I have perfected over the years. Writing a paper, about which, you do not give a single, solitary, crumb of a fuck about. This is (you may have guessed) and excellent way for me to procrastinate doing a paper that *I* do not give a single solitary crumb of a fuck about. For best results, I recommend doing this NIGHT-BEFORE-PANIC like, a week in advance so you can fix all the NONSENSE that your more reasonable brain will undoubtedly find. But if it’s the night before and you are shit outta luck, this will get ‘er done. And with practice, you can even pull good grades outta these bitches.

 Dissociating? I gotchu. Woke up the day of the deadline to feel like absolute utter garbage? Search no more friends.  

  FAILING GRADES ARE BETTER THAN ZEROS JUST FUCKIN DOOOOOO ITTTT

1.    Go get the prompt.

I fucking mean it. Even if you are like 1000% sure you know what the prompt is asking, go to the FUCKING assignment, and copy that shit into your word document. Got the assignment on paper? TYPE THAT SHIT UP MOTHERFUCKER.

(Do you see what I fucking have to deal with)

Boom?

BOOM.

Congratulations, you now have a document, and whats more, there are WORDS in it!! You aren’t starting from scratch anymore kiddo. Fringe benefit, you always know EXACTLY what the assignment wants because its fucking Staring You Down. Not saying you have to do exactly as it says, mama didn’t raise no BITCH and I aint scared of fuckin CALLING PROFS OUT but if you wanna break the rules you gotta know what they are first

(Disclaimer: I have also been kicked out of class on numerous occasions for fighting with the prof and had full classes where the lecture WAS me arguing so maybe take my opinions of conformity with a grain of salt.)

2.    Math THE FIRST

I know, this is an essay and not a fucking calculus test. But some of this shit is USEFUL OKAY

Take the paper in question. How long does it have to be? Mine is 5 pages. A page is generally accepted to be 250 words (double spaced because we FUCKING LOVE OURSELVES) so 5 x 250 = 1250 wds. That’s the goal. That’s the pinnacle. That’s your new holy grail.

Time to split this bitch up

  3.    Yarrrrrr, CONTENT

And finally, we get to the part that is the reason why you are being an absolute bitch baby about this essay (maybe. I might be projecting. Your life is your life and im sure youre doing your best.) I Hate this part, but now with our magic number we don’t need to pull 5 pages out of the ether.

This part really requires you to know your vibe. Is this something that you have a lot of little opinions (read: evidence) about or like, only 2 or 3 big bois? Look deep into your soul and figure out which is the easiest for you to shit out, a rant or a list. a  great way to do this is to WRITE ANYTHING YOU GOT OUT

Here you can see I’ve put all of the thoughts I have about the question into a list, slapped some standard “opening” and “closing” shit around it so I can FUCKING FIND IT AGAIN and given it a good hard look. Whats the common thread in all of my opinions? That the prompt is fucking stupid and makes no sense is asking 2 different questions. Congratulations: you found your thesis. This essay, like many of my essays, bears the thesis “this is a weird question to be asking” (which falls under my broader category of “bitches aint shit” essays.)

Congratulations you have the bare bones of your skeleton.

  4.    MATH THE SECOND

 The magic number returns. All hail our glorious leader. 1250 right?

So heres how I break this down. Break off a small chunk at the beginning. For this essay im gonna split off the 250. Split that baby in half. Congratulations, now you have a word count on your opening and closing. Personally, I know I like a lil extra space at the end to get all ranty, so Imma split this puppy up 100 for my opening and 150 for the closing. WARNING: You will think that you will be able to write enough in your opening and closing to take up lots of space. You will feel the urge to give them both the same amount of words that you give your points. This is misguided and foolish. Not only will you 1) not be able to do it but 2) even if you did, that’s like getting a sandwich which is all bread. No one wants that. Don’t be that dude. Fight the urge.

 RIGHT SO. We’re still left on the other 1000 words.

If you have an idea that like, is bigger than the others, go ahead and give that puppy more of the word count than the others, fractions are your friend here and you wanna think about how much of your final product each of these babies will be. If you, like me, are an utter buffoon with no clue what youre doing, open your calculator up. Divide the remaining word count by the number of points you have. Congratulations. Youre doing the essaying.

If this is enough to get you started, GREAT! See you at step seven. BEFORE YOU GO I would like to give you this tip

5.    CITE YOUR INFORMATION AS YOU ADD IT IN.

It doesn’t need to be a full citation, just literally a footnote with something that will help you remember where its from and for the love of god WHAT PAGE IT IS ON. The you of 3 hours from now will thank you.

  6.    Filling in the skeleton

 I don’t know about you, but I cant exactly riff off of a single sentence. Like, I know what the VIBE of my point is, but like, I cant pull it out of a hat. The name of the game here is whittling down your arguments into thinner and thinner chunks that are easier and easier to bullshit. This is how you avoid that “burning building found in flames during Brooklyn fire” bullshit that memes. You don’t wanna meme. You wanna pass. So, figure out what the things you are gonna say and in each bit, keep track of how many words you are gonna write. EITHER

a)      You put how many words you think you can write on any point beside the point as you go and just keep developing points and shuffling word counts around until it matches the total for that section

or

b)     You evenly breakup the word count between all the points and keep breaking them down until you look at a subject and a word count and go “yeah that’s doable. I can do that.”

I prefer the second so LEGGO.

Ta-Da!

7.    Write ‘er up

Ahhh glad to see we’re all back together again. Try-hards who can ACTUALLY bullshit papers, glad to see you’ve rejoined us! This is the part where you take all that shit you’ve broken up into nice little chunks and you turn it into something worth reading. You can do it. I believe in you. Try and keep your citations in place.

I like to do this as a question answer thingy, like an exam, so halfway through writing mine is gonna look like this

 The handy part about the numbers is that it gives you a frame of reference for how your bullshit is going. Realized you had a lot more to say here than you thought? Dope! Less bullshit somewhere else, take it out of a weaker point. This point didn’t give as much as you thought it would? Split the difference elsewhere! This way you have checkpoints and you can see how your essay is going

And then you can go ahead and delete your skeleton work. Its time. Its served you well. For extra drama, whisper menacing nothings to it as you send it into the darkness. Personal favourites include “no one will mourn you,” “your fate belongs to me,” and “so this is what you have come to”

  8.    Citations

Theres like a million ways out there to find out how to do your citations and its gonna depend on what kind of a paper you are writing. I use Chicago most of the time, including here. My advice? Use a site like, bib.me or something to do your bibliography, and then plaster that in the bottom of your document. Use that as the building blocks to do your footnotes. Let Purdue Owl be your guide. Purdue Owl Style Guide Is A Mighty Friend Indeed.

 Also your welcome for that, “putting the page numbers in as you put the info in” shit. That took me alarmingly long to figure out. It’s a wonder theyre giving me a degree.

  9.    Proofread that shit, ya bougie bitch.

If you wanna be time effective, getting a friend to proofread while you do your citations is a great way to go. If you have a few days, put your paper away and come back to it. If you are out of friends and time then https://www.paperrater.com/ is your last hope.

  10.       Slap a title page on that shit and GET IT SUBMITTED

 No joke, I have been using the same template for a coverpage all through highschool and my undergrad. There is only one title page and every time I write an essay I take the title page from the last paper I wrote. There is no beginning. Only title page. Title? Topic of paper: point of paper. For example, If I had to title this screed I’d call it Essay Writing: An exploration of mediocrity. slap the date and your name and the course and instructor on there and BAM. YA DONE.

 Anyway submit that shit an go to bed youre done goodnight

EPILOGUE

I’ve gotten this essay back, and when I wrote it, I was barely a human being. Barely capable of human speech let alone a coherent argument. I would forget the end of the sentence by the time I typed out the beginning. But I still for a 70%! is it the best mark I’ve ever gotten? no! but it is a hell of a lot better than the 0% I would have gotten if i hadnt done this. I get it. And i hope this helps. 

[rk7puffinhuff]

I’m fine part 1

A/N

Hey guys!!! I am so glad to see that people like this!!! I actually didn’t realize that I didn’t put part 1 on it so this means there is going to be a part 2... I am not sure how many parts it will actually be but you know what lets just do this. 

p.s. this is actually supposed to be a one shot but my brain had other plans... hope you guys like this!!!

Remus Lupin x reader

mentions of James Potter x reader

Summary: y/n is a hufflepuff prefect that is Remus’ childhood friend. James then took an interest on y/n and dated her without Remus’ noticing. One day James broke it off with y/n, broke her heart, left her for Lily. Remus’ finds y/n with puffy red eyes but still smiling (trying to hide the fact that she was broken). 

Warning: angst, James being a jerk, fluff, James starting to regret leaving y/n, James being a little jealous, Remus being a alpha male(lol), Remus being over propective of y/n, y/n being such a hufflepuff, someone being a animagus secretly

________________________________________________________________

Remus’ POV

I was walking down the hall at night for prefect duties when I heard quite sobs. I followed the sad sounds and found my friend... my y/n... crying. 

“y/n?” she was startled and sniffled and turned around with a smile on her face. She was trying to hide the fact that I caught her crying. I began to think of reasons for her tears ‘was it a boy??’ ‘she was looking awfully flustered the past few weeks’ ‘whoever that bastard is they’ll pay’ my jaw clenched and my heart pained to see my childhood best friend with puffy red eyes and a smile to hide her pain away. 

“hi, how are you??” she said softly her voice croaking . Instead of replying I took her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace. She tensed up a bit and hugged back. She loves hugs, I then felt her sobbing on my chest. My heart ached, I began whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Just like how she did to me when I needed someone, this time it’s my turn to comfort and be a shoulder to cry on. ______flashback______

I was behind a tree looking down crying. The other kids did not want to play with me, they did not want to be my friend because I’m hideous. I look like a monster.... no, I am a monster... I continuously beat  myself up when I heard a soft voice “Hello...” I looked up, it was a girl.

She saw my face but she didn’t run, she didn’t scream, she didn’t look scared. Instead she smiled... ‘she is probably here to make fun of me and call me a monster...’ I thought to myself 

“GO AWAY!!!” I screamed at her. She didn’t move, but her eyes started to water. “I-I’m sorry... I just” “I just wanted to be your friend... I ju- just wanted to play with you..” her tears flowed continuously. I was shocked... I made her cry not because she was scared of me. She wanted to be my friend and I ruined it...

“I-I’m sorry... I just thought yo-you hate me... I thought you will call me a monster like all of them.” I said sniffling looking down. I heard her calm down. The next thing I know I was pulled into a tight embrace... it felt nice, comfy. I hugged her back, burying my face in the crook of her neck, crying. I felt my hair being stroked softly... she started whispering in my ear “don’t cry, you’re not a monster” “you’re not scary, I’d love to be your friend...” she said comfortingly. 

“Is it because of your scars??” she asked. I flinched under her touch. She pulled away “is it??” she asked again. I nodded my head in reply. She then sat down, so I did the same. “Ya know.. I think they’re awesome!!” she exclaimed. I looked at her with a confused face. “My mom said that if someone has scars that means they went through something brave!!” “So now I believe that people with scars are Heroes. My mom agreed with me as well.” she explained. 

I looked at her for a moment. I thought about what she said. “I’m y/n by the way... what’s your name??” “Remus... my name is Remus.” I replied with a smile 

________end of flashback_________

She did the exact same thing for years. Whenever I doubted myself, whenever I beat myself up, whenever I needed someone, she was there. She was my first ever friend, she never left my side. Not even when we got sorted into different houses and found our own groups of friends. y/n was genuinely kind... everyone in Hogwarts knows that. No one, not even the Slytherins can hate her, that’s how great she is. 

Unlike James, Sirius, and Peter she doesn’t know about my lycanthrophy. She never found out, and I never told her. I’m scared that she’ll hate me, be afraid of me, I don’t want to lose her. So I decided, until I’m ready... she can’t know.

‘Who would ever do this to her?’ the thought ran repeatedly in my head. I pulled away to look at her face. I wiped the tears from her face and cupped her cheeks. I kissed her forehead and enveloped her again in a hug.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~time skip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I brought y/n to her dorms last night. She never told me the reason behind her tears. It bugged me all night. I didn’t want to seem pushy and nosy so I decided to not ask. She’ll tell me when she’s ready. I walked down the halls, on my way to the great hall for breakfast.

I looked over to the Gryffindor table to see Lily and James snogging!!! my eyes widened at the sight I walked and stood close to the lovebirds. I cleared my throat seeing as they did not notice me. “Oh Mo-moony hey... didn’t see you there.” James stuttered. I raised my eyebrow at them while Lily looked down at her food, her face as red as her hair, and James scratching his neck trying to avoid my gaze. “James when did this happen??” I asked, James was about to answer when a felt a hand on my shoulder “Give them a break Moony... besides it happened yesterday” Sirius said “Yeah Moony, you weren’t there but Lily finally said yes... even though James didn’t ask this time.” Peter filled in with the details.

We were talking more about this new relationship going on. I looked back to the hufflepuff table to see if y/n was there with her usual smile, she wasn’t there. “Who are looking for Moony?? your girlfriend??” Sirius jokingly asked. I denied it while Peter and Sirius kept bugging me about it, while James and Lily snogged at the other side of the table. “She is not my girlfriend, alright, she is my best friend, she cried last night... I was hoping to find out why...” I said. “ooh seems like Moony has a crush~~~” Sirius teased. 

I looked at my right only to see a couple of feet away my bestfriend, tearing up, petrified at the sight. She didn’t seem to be looking at my way so I followed her gaze. My eyes landed at James and Lily smiling at each other, I furrowed my eyebrows at the situation. I was confused, I looked back at y/n who was now sniffling with tears rolling down her cheeks. I stood up to approach y/n and get her out of the great hall. As I stood up James did as well, I looked at him and his face was filled with guilt and a hint of regret. ‘why?’ I asked myself. “y/n...” James called I looked back y/n and she looked petrified, then she ran out of the great hall. James took off after her calling out her name and asking her to stop. 

What just happened... I didn’t understand why would he call her out and go after her. I didn’t know why y/n cried while looking at James and Lily... I was so confused that I couldn’t move.

y/n’s POV

I was running, and running, and running faster as I heard someone call out my name. I dodged students and obstacles with ease, saying excuse me, sorry, and hey at the same time. I ran as fast as I can but it wasn’t enough. I knew he had long legs and he is gonna catch up to me in a few... I need a distraction.

 I ran and looked around. I saw Prof Flitwick with a bunch of papers in hand. I might regret this later but I’m gonna fix it after I ruin it, and I sure Prof will understand. I ran really close to him murmuring a spell under my breath towards his direction and papers shot through the air. I jumped to avoid a box on the corridor floor. Everything went fast I murmured a spell to fix Prof Flitwick and his papers up and at the same time turned into my animagus form. 

“Professor are you okay?? sir??” I heard his voice ask meaning to say that I lost him and my plan worked. I left the scene as a White Wire fox terrier. I walked on all fours until I encountered Prof Mcgonagall. She knew that I was an animagus... an unregistered animagus. She helped me become one as soon as I found out that Remy had lycantrophy. She ‘advised’ me to not register, for very acceptable reasons. I have been watching over Remus for 4 years now, I found out first year, researched and started to learn at the same year and fully transformed the summer before my 2nd year. I also know about the marauders and their names. 

But I don’t think becoming animagus was enough to help my best friend. So I started talking to Professor Slughorn about Wolfsbane potions. My friend Severus has been helping me brew it, he was skeptical on why but I said Im doing it for charity. I think he believed me... I followed Prof Mcgonagall as she discretely told me to follow her.  

Jame’s POV

“Professor Flitwick!!! are you okay??” I asked the Professor whose papers that burst into the air a while ago go back into his hands... what happened?? I remember running after her... ‘y/n...’ I looked around only to find that she was nowhere to be seen. I left the Prof since he seems to be fine. I walked towards the direction y/n was running to. I searched for her but I had no luck. 

‘y/n,’ her name repeatedly running through my head. Her smiles that I remember, the sound of her laughter when I say a joke, the red tint on her cheeks when I say something only to make her flustered and embarrassed. My mind ran through my happy bright memories with her. My thoughts then slowly turned grey and blue remembering the sight at breakfast...  her face, which I always see looking radiantly bright always with a smile on, had tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked like she didn’t get any sleep at all. She looked depressingly sad and the look on her face broke my heart.

I felt a pang of guilt and heartache... ‘I caused those tears’ I thought. It was true I caused her the pain that she is currently feeling. Maybe I regret it... I walked to my first class knowing the gang will bring my stuff. I walked the hallways with a unsettled feeling. All I know is that I am confused.

[hey-hey-chan]

Coffee vs Scantrons - Changbin

❀ College AU + Fluff 

❀ Word count: 3.2 K

❀ Your grades are consistently being one bad after another, and you’re not here for it. You decide to take matters into your hands and meet your teacher during office hours... but unexpectedly, one of your classmates is there as well and invites you to coffee to repay a favor. You’re not jumping for joy since the boy doesn’t have the best reputation in your class, but will you forever be annoyed by his rambunctious nature, or fall for his boyish charm as the class goes on?

❀ A/N: ... i don’t even like coffee, i need to stop writing about it. also shoutout to my number one hype woman ruby who misses my writing and motivated me to write this,,, this one for u <3 also this is unedited. im sorry my writing is so bad,,, iM RUSTY 

----------

“Ok, don’t tell me if the grade is bad though.” 

I planted my hands over my eyes while I shoved my test at my best friend, Euna. She grabbed the test and put it face down so she couldn’t see it either and rolled her eyes at me. 

“C’mon y/n, it probably isn’t even that bad. Like you’re a smart girl, missus straight A.” I groaned at her comment and kept my eyes closed.

“Shut up. I have gotten a... B before. But, seriously just tell me if I should look or not.” Joy just shook her head and look at my test grade. I immediately noted how her features shrunk together and her eyes turned to me sadly. I frowned at her expression.”w-what, is it THAT bad?” 

She pushed the test towards me and there and behold a C- staring at me. I sighed and tried to push the image out. I peeked over at her test score and saw a big fat A taunting me. I wasn’t jealous. I was just disappointed in myself.

...And a tiny bit jealous. 

I groaned and shut my eyes again, hoping I wouldn’t start to cry in the middle of my business class. 

“Hey, it’s okay, we have more tests and Professor Lee is a really good guy, it’ll all work out.” Her advice went in one ear and then out another. 

Yes, a C was passing, but I don’t want to just pass, I want to excel. Plus, my mom would kill me if I got a C, especially because I dropped another one of my classes during the quarter. I had no excuses now. 

“Hey.. hey!” My friend snapped me out of my trance while I just shook my head at her. “Y/n, why don’t you just meet with him after class and get help?” 

I took a big gulp of water, hoping it would calm my nerves. It didn’t. 

“Well, the point is is that I feel like I’m not even struggling.. yet the results I get back are not what I expected. I don’t know what to ask him.” I confessed babyishly. I felt like I was whining for no reason. 

Euna shrugged and packed up her backpack and headed out the door, which made me run to catch up with her. 

Before I could head out the door, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I skittishly turned around and was now locking eyes with Seo Changbin, the class clown who happened to be incredibly smart and cute to say the least. I always had a small problem with him. 

“Uh, hey, I borrowed a scantron from you the other day, right?” I nodded my head. He gave me a sheepish smile and I knew what was coming. “I’m sorry, I forgot to bring an extra one for you-” Before the boy could finish his sentence, I waved him off.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to pay me back, it’s just a scantron.” I quickly said. Honestly, I was a bit irritated since scantrons are not the cheapest thing, also this is business, I should’ve charged him for it. But I was too nice to be a businessman. 

I turned and walked out the door before he could say anything else and caught up with Euna.

The girl was already out the door and waiting for me with a smirk upon her lips.

“What?” I barked. She pulled on her rain jacket and gave me a suspicious look.

“He totally likes you.” I felt my face turn red at her statement but it was a foolish thought. 

“You’re so wrong, he has a bunch of other girls he talks to. Plus, we have never talked before.” Euna shrugged and walked faster so that I had to speed up my pace. 

“Well, he at least thinks you’re cute. Did you see his blush?” I raised a brow but didn’t want to egg her on. 

“Whatever, think what you want, loser. Focus on Heejun instead.” The girl gasped and slapped my arm lightly while I laughed. Heejun happened to be the boy she was crushing on, but was about 4 years older. It was ... weird. 

“Shut up, don’t come running to me when you discover lover boy likes you.”

I scoffed and pushed the thought out of my head immediately. 

Changbin doesn’t like me. And I won’t give him a chance to.

-----

Professor Lee’s office hours were from 7:30-8:30 am. I had to take the 7am bus to come to school during that time, which means I slept on the bus and almost missed my stop. Thankfully my body naturally wakes up at the rough turn. 

I stepped out into the cold air and wondered if my business grade was even worth the trouble. Ok... it definitely was. But not at 7am. 

I walked up the steps into the building and found his office number. I took a deep breath, not even feeling my anxiety due to the cold, and knocked on the door. 

I waited a few seconds before walking in. I saw my professor sitting quietly, typing away on his computer. 

“Hi Professor Lee.” I greeted. He turned quickly and gave me a bright smile, which was unsettling since it was 7am. 

“Hey! What can I help you with?” He said brightly. Suddenly my fear of meeting him washed away.

“Um, so I just haven’t been doing so well on the tests and I was wondering if you could clarify some terms for me?” He nodded and pulled out a chair for me. I got my notes out while he finished typing an email up. 

“So, how’s it being up at 7am?” He asked suddenly. I let out a nervous chuckle as I swear I could see my breath in his ice cold office.

“It’s... a new experience. I used to wake up at 6:30 for classes, but that was last year. Now my first class is at 9, so I feel like a slug to be honest with you.” He let out a loud laugh, making me feel more welcome.

“I get that, but I’m an old man, and I love sleeping early and waking up early.” I let out a small smile. 

“Yeah, I am usually an early bird too... but I like to wake up early and do nothing.” He chuckled until I held my notes out to me. “So uh, I’m not really understanding 5 styles of leadership and how they relate to Maslow’s hiearchy of needs. Like I understand the 2 separately, but now how the connect.” I explained. 

He nodded and wrote all of them down. “So, autocratic, bureaucratic...”

He went on and on about different questions I asked him about business, but they still felt fuzzy to me. I also learned things I didn’t know before, showing how I wasn’t as good as business as I thought.

“So, what are your favorite movies?” He asked when I was done asking him questions about business.

“Hmmm... right now, it’s The Polar Express?” He laughed loudly and shook his head.

“It’s only November and you’re thinking about Christmas movies?” I nodded frantically. 

“Of course! I’m always thinking about Christmas movies because Christmas is my favorite holiday.” I grinned just thinking about sitting next to my TV and drinking hot cocoa as the snow falls. School will me put on pause and I’ll finally be done with college apps; sounds heavenly. 

“Agreed, I love Christmas too.” I heard a deeper voice come from behind me, making me swivel around. And just my luck, Changbin was leaning against the doorway like he was cool or something. He gave me a quick smile until he turned to face Professor Lee. 

“Hey James, I came to turn in that assignment I missed last week.” Changbin handed him a white paper and I grew curious about how close the boy was to our professor since he called him by his first name. 

“Ah yes, how did your job interview go anyways?” Changbin’s smile brightened up and I felt his ego expand.

“Amazing, I got the job.” He high fived Jame’s hand and backed away. Then he turned to me and gave a look of guilt. “Oh gosh I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?” I shook my head and Prof. Lee did too.

“Nah you’re all good, I was just about done too. See you later Professor Lee.” I turned to walk out the door and unfortunately, Changbin was going the same way. 

“Hey, you’re y/n, right?” I nodded, a bit, ok a lot, surprised that he knew my name. “Cool cool, sorry I’m bad with names.” 

“No big deal.” I hated how I was so cold to guys, and only guys. There’s something about boys like him who make me put this wall up.

“So the Polar Express huh?” Now that caught my attention as I raised a brow. 

“Yup, one of my favorites. Brings back all the Christmas feels I know and love.” The boy nodded enthusiastically. 

“True. Classics give you those feel good vibes.” I nodded, unsure how to respond. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I forgot to give you your scantrons back right?” I shrugged. 

“It’s just one-”

“Well how about I treat you to coffee to make up for it?” I paused in my tracks  and raised a brow at him, suspicious at his motives. He gave me a sheepish smile, but I could tell he was waiting in anticipation for my answer. 

“Really?” I stated like I was disinterested, but really my heart was jumping like crazy. I didn’t know if it was because of the cold or nervousness, but his cheeks were tinged a light pink. 

“I mean, like, in a friendly nice way. Not like I’m coming onto you in any way, I swear. Guys who come onto girls too strongly are freaks.” I chuckled at his answer, and how could I say no to that... and free coffee.

“Then fine, I’ll let you buy me some coffee.”

His smile lit up and he ruffled his messy hair that was still messy from pulling his hood down. 

“Oh good, for a split second, I thought you were going to reject me.” He faked his dismay by putting his hand over his heart and clutching it dramatically. I laughed at his silly antics but didn’t let myself become comfortable with him yet. 

The school cafe was just around the cafe so we hit it pretty quickly. 

“Hi, what can I get for you two?” The pretty girl at the cashier greeted. I could tell Changbin was checking her out as he pretended to scan the menu. I wanted to roll my eyes, people who order coffee don’t need the menu, they always know their order. But I didn’t care who he checked out, it wasn’t like I was into him.

“How bout a venti iced americano please.” The girl nodded and wrote it down. 

“And for you?” 

I hummed and scanned the menu, since I, a college rookie, didn’t drink coffee often. But I definitely needed it for the early hour I woke up.

“Um, I’ll just get an tall caramel macchiato.” I didn’t even know what they tasted like, the drink just sounded cute. 

“Great, one venti ice american and one all caramel macchiato, that’ll be 5 dollars 13 cents please. 

Changbin let out a low whistle which made me snap my head at him. 

“What?” I snapped. He laughed and gave me a mischievous grin.

“Nothing, it’s just that I don’t think I’ve ever seen a girl or a guy order a tall coffee in the morning before.” I shrugged and tapped my shoes on the ground-- a habit I had when I was nervous.

“Well, I’m not much of a coffee drinker, so it doesn’t take much to wake me up.” He raised a brow. 

“Wow, not a daily coffee drinker? I’m not sure if I know anyone our age who doesn’t drink coffee every morning.” I shrugged and put my hands in my butt pockets. 

“Well, now you do.” I wiggled my eyebrows jokingly while he laughed at the ground like he was trying to hide his loud laugh. 

Our drinks were soon ready and I grabbed my drink while he grabbed his. I put a little coaster around mine while Changbin talked to the the pretty cashier once more.

“You two enjoy your day.” She gave him a small smile and whipped her hair at him. I felt uncomfortable.

He gave her a small smile and nodded. “You too.”

As we walked away, I gave him a little nudge, as to which he was surprised at. “What?” I scoffed.

“That girl...” I trailed off, hoping he would pick up my sentence. He just stared at me dumbly. “The girl thought you were cute.” 

At my words, he just shrugged and sipped his drink. “Okay... do you agree with her?” Now his words caught me off guard. 

I took a sip of my coffee to wake me up. “Uhhhhhh ... hmmm... uhh..” I heard him laughing at my response and wiped his hands on his pants sicne they were wet due to the condensation to the iced drink.

“Ok honestly, I’m curious! I won’t tease you or anything, I’m just genuinely curious on what a normal person thinks of my looks.” 

Changbin was... hot. To say the least. He was an attractive guy who I’m sure who got lots of girls and got lots of attention, especially with his nice style as well. 

“Ok fine, yes you’re cute, but I’m sure you already knew that.” I said pretty quickly, but he still understood it. His cheeks were flushed and a pretty pink. I knew my cheeks matched mine unfortunately.

He then turned to me and said, “thank you for your deep insight.” I laughed at his boyish humor and I heard him laughing too. 

“You’re pretty funny as well.” He didn’t respond to this compliment but stopped in his tracks. I quickly looked down at my watch and saw that time.

“Oh shit,” I mumbled. 

“What?” He wondered.

I shook my head. “Oh no big deal, I just have class in 5 minutes, so... see you in class?” He nodded slyly and waved me off.

“Definitely, see you later y/n.” 

And as I walked away from him, I felt my heart warm with a feeling I’ve never felt before and an excitement and anxiety I wasn’t sure I liked or hated.

------

Business seemed so far away yet it came so quickly. I walked into business and sat next to Euna who was already waiting for me. 

“Yo, are you drinking coffee?” I nodded.

“Yup, a caramel macchiato.” She gave me a weird look.

She pulled out her bottle filled with tea and raised it to take a sip. “What’s the occasion?” 

“Changbin bought me it.” Euna almost spit her drink up on me, but I pushed her away and she swallowed. “Dude!” I shouted at her. She coughed viciously but ignored me.

“Changbin?? You mean in this class Changbin??” I immediately shushed her and looked around and saw people staring directly me. Oh great.

“Wait, you and Changbin are a thing?” The guy behind me asked. I felt my cheeks heat up at his question. 

I shook my head. “No, we are not.” 

“But he bought you coffee.” I nodded.

“Yeah, um, he owed me a scantron so he just bought me coffee.” The boy named Soonyoung narrowed his eyes at me.

“You know a pack of scantrons are like 50 cents while coffee is like... more than that.” I rolled my eyes and shrugged.

“I don’t know, I just met Changbin practically yesterday.” I felt weird talking about my life, it was just ... weird. 

Suddenly, Changbin walked in and I turned back around. The class was silent. 

Changbin’s laughed filled the silence. “Why is everyone so quiet today?” I leaned back in my chair while Euna patted me on the arm comfortingly. After Changbin’s comment, the conversations resumed and the class was noisy once again. 

“You bought y/n coffee? You never buy me coffee you jerk.” Soonyoung joked while punching him on the arm. Changbin glanced quickly at me but punched Soonyoung back.

“Shut up, I only buy coffees for pretty girls.” He said while looking right at me. Oh my god... how does this guy how such confidence. 

I pretended I didn’t hear it, even though I obviously I did, and faced the teacher while even my professor gave me a small smile. 

“Ok class, today is gonna be a fun day!” The class cheered and whooped in excitement. Everyone hated lectures, so when he spiced it up, we were all thrilled. 

"So, I’m a bit sick and I’m a bit too jumbled to do lecture today, for the first 20 minutes, I’ll lecture, then I’ll let you guys ask me any kinds of questions you want, sounds good?

We all screamed “yes”. 

The lecture seemed to fly by since he had a way with making boring topics fun. 

Then, after the lecture, he pulled out a chair and sat in the middle of the room. “Question time!” He called out while everyone started to raise their hands.

“How old are you?

“Old enough to be your dad.” He laughed and then said “53.” He kept calling on people with ridiculous things like how many pets have you owned throughout your life and then simple questions like what’s your favorite movie? And so on.

“Hey James, do you ever ship your students together?” Soonyoung asked. 

James furrowed his eyes together. “What do you mean?”

“Like, do you ever think 2 students would be a good couple or something?” 

“OHHHH” James laughed and shrugged. “I mean, sometimes, of course I don’t know my student’s sexualities most of the time, but yes sometimes students come up to me, who I know fairly well, and tell me who they find cute and I then ‘ship’ them.” 

“Is that the case right now?” Another student asked. James gave a small smile and shrugged, which meant yes.

“Don’t worry, we all know who it is.” Soonyoung called out while Changbin punched him on the arm.

“It’s probably you and Changbin.” Euna whispered in my ear. I just kicked her leg. 

-----

The class flew by and since it was a Friday, I took my time leaving. Before I could turn to Euna, she was already gone. That rat. 

“Hey y/n.” I heard the familiar voice of Changbin. I felt my heart speed up without wanting it too.

“Hey Changbin, what’s up?” I asked confidently. He seemed a bit taken aback, but he recovered smoothly, as he always did. 

“Uh, so, I was wondering if you had a Snapchat?” I raised a brow and leaned against the table while it was his turn to look nervous. 

“Hmmmm indeed I do. You want it?” He nodded shyly so I felt a bit bad for teasing him. I saw him add me on snap and I added him back quickly. 

“So, coffee is definitely better than a scantron right?” He asked. I laughed at the inside joke.

“Definitely.”

“You know, I think I’m going to have to forget my scantrons more often so I can treat you to coffee more often.” He joked, but I felt like was nervous saying it. 

“Well, you don’t need to forget your scantrons to treat me to coffee.” He paused at my words, letting them sink in. Before he could act on them, I said “bye Changbin, see you Monday.” 

And this time, I felt at ease with my small crush on the boy. 

[xz017]

.

oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???

got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker

the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.

her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like

basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that

girl be actin homeless---mood

so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like

‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’

n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao

‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’

i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao

anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!

cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke

i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that

but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me????????????????????? 

um...no one

like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway

cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’

n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE

n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.

n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time

n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate

and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve

n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset

cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck

deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts

n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT

n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO

n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS

n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually

n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive

n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like 

no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here

n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...

cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane

n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more

n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican

and she gave me a sideeye 

but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right

im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?

im scared.

like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race

n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen

like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?

my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school

n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh

im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist

i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule 

like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack 

wat is the truth rip

the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.

my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow

n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.

which is ye know good for her rip.

i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities

like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like

binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye

n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm

mine is for science n validity

hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...

bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip

but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?

im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???

prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???

what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.

i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.

that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.

n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip

i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man

meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip

god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly

# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me

now im sad

im dead.

omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’

DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready 

like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love

the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love

the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness

but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh

bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip 

meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...

i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do

but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble. 

bitter but like...humble

‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’

‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’

‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’

oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?

had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.

my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni

rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you

n she was like so no children then:(

n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro

but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?

anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...

sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji

rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh

At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that

then she was like ew nO

then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card

which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.

so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth

but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?

really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.

nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR

rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand

i miss the gays

i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well

add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand

n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--

n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’

n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’

n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip

Big sand honestly.

it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand

i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

how to keep yourself together during uni semesters in australia:

im not gonna lie: over the past 3 years at uni, i have never kept myself together. so, im probably not the right type of person to give anyone advice on how to keep yourself “together” at uni lmao. but i felt like doing it, since im close to finishing so here you go, people:

class/subject and degree advice:

- if you’re not doing a double degree (which will probably give you four or five subjects to do each sem, and a full 4-5 days at uni each week, like some of my friends), stay home on your days off. take those days both to relax, and also fill yourself in to do some of your readings (although i’ll admit i only started the “doing my readings” thing this semester after two years of ignoring them, lol whoops.) this will help your stress levels a bit (hopefully) bc at least you know what the fuck you’re talking about in class and can actually say something during your tuts/lectures.

- if you’re doing a single degree or even a double degree (again i know some people who’ve done it with double degrees), and your full load of 4 or maybe 5 subjects is stressing you the fuck out, drop down to three units per a semester, if you want to actually keep a full load for certain things. yes, it will make your degree go slower in most cases, but not as slow as going part time. it will obvs make your load a tad lighter (if you’re a full-time student), and it’ll free up your days spent at uni. it will give you fewer deadlines to worry/stress about. 

on another note, go part time if you want to/have to. i met one person at a careers fair this year who’d been at uni for five years doing her commerce degree with just one subject a semester bc it gave her less stress and plenty of time to actually work at her job.

- go to your faculty’s/school’s help desk to find out whether your course progression is right. also book meetings with the head of your faculty whenever you can; according to the head of the students bookings are open or wherever possible in your timetable. doing this lets you know whether you’re progressing with your course in the right time-frame, or right time-frame for you. remember, these people are there to help you. this saved me hours of worrying throughout my degree. 

- TRANSFER DEGREES IF YOU HAVE TO: if you feel out of your depth, or completely disinterested in your degree, transfer from it. in some cases (mostly if you’re in the same faculty and the degree is a flexible/general one) you can easily get the first year subjects in transfer credit. this is what i did in first year, when i realised that i felt very out my depth, personality-wise and for other reasons, in the bachelor of communication and media studies in 2015. i knew, after one semester of it, that it was not what i wanted to study.

I realised that forcing myself through marketing and management subjects and studying blogging at uni just bc i had a tumblr- yes, that was my kind of ridiculous and super misguided reason for picking the course, believe it or not- would “kill” me, (like obvs not literally) but it would drain tf out of me if i continued w/ it. but  luckily, since it was in the same faculty, all i had to do was do an extra subject in spring sem in 2015 (bc degree changes required you to have 24 credit points in a semester to transfer at my uni for most courses), and that sem sucked, but i got a years worth of credit in my degree, so i finish one semester earlier.

- for classes in a single degree, try and find your ideal amount of days at uni. my ideal is three days. i almost had the opportunity to have a two day week at uni this sem, bc the timetable gods were almost good to me. but unfortunately, the timetable gods were assholes and managed to let a two hour tut for one class (editing) on tuesdays ran through my US literature lecture. but i also didn’t really want just 2 days at uni, bc i knew that i probably wouldn’t be fucking productive at all in the 3 remaining days i had off during the week.

- go part-time if you have to, no matter whether you’re on a single or a double degree. do your degree on your own terms.

- don’t listen to your parents spiel on your degree or what majors/minors to do. same goes for running your subject choices by your parents. 

- or if uni is really, really getting you down, you can defer for six months and go back later. (also, for mental health, see a councilor/psychologist either from your uni or outside of uni, i started doing this after a mental breakdown in second year). 

- on feedback from your professors/tutors: okay, so. i’ll admit here that i’ve become the asshole student that literally only gives a shit about the number grade, rather than the quality etc comments that the professor (usually) gives back to me after they’ve marked my assignment, bc i don’t really have the heart to read what they’ve written etc. but, like. actually read their feedback... or listen to it. 

if you have an odd professor that likes to give audio feedback (one of my philosophy profs did this, and no. i didn’t listen to it on either assignment, particularly bc it was my least fave subject that sem and bc i had a drama with the essay that lost me like 20% of my grade for that subject), listen back to it and see what they say on your (presumably, i have faith in y’all) well bullshitted essay. their feedback is valuable. also don’t be afraid to approach your tutors for feedback either.

- on asking for help/advice on your assignments or the subject in general from your profs/tutors: DO THIS. of course, it’ll just be general guidance in their consultation hours or via email, but, don’t be scared to ask them! it might boost your marks a bit or help you clarify your essay’s argument or something like that. i was too terrified for the better part of my degree, and then too stubborn to ask for help from my profs/tutors and i think that’s why my marks and my mental health got kinda shitty. idk how to ask for help. but then again, idk how many people actually do this in the courses i did. but y’all do it.

for the general side of this, they can help you by giving you extensions (if they’re not an asshole) or whatever to help you sort your shit out. this is something i never did. but do it when you need it.

- on the topic of marks, they don’t matter. but don’t try and settle in the “p’s get degrees” mindset... even though i say this whenever i get a final mark and it’s a pass. i aimed for a credit average tbh, marks wise. i’m dead average lmao. but then again, i’ve never been a straight-A student, born to graduate uni with like high class honours or the like.

general uni life and life advice:

- GET YOUR P’S OR BLACKS (i.e. GET YOUR DRIVER’S LICENCE Y’ALL), if your family circumstances permit it or if you’re motivated enough, before you get to uni. it’ll open up so many opportunities on campus (if you don’t live on the campus and you live far away from it). and also other ops outside of uni. (but then again you might not bother driving to uni everyday  bc like uni parking, depending how it is at your uni, will always be a fight for spots.

- although i said earlier to use your days off to do some study... also use them for self-care and like life admin meaning the following:

face masks

actually take a looooonnnnngggg fucking showers y’all. the shower is the one place you’ll actually fully relax while you’re at uni. also it’s a good place to mentally plan and map out your essays etc.

yes, netflix

BUY A KINDLE (if your budget permits ofc). although it was a big cost on the outset obvs (its like $200), it was the best investment for me. i saved a fuck ton of money for some subjects, bc the books were either free or like $20-$30 cheaper on my kindle and not anywhere between $20-$40 for some texts in the uni shop. like, textbooks for english lit/creative writing or even philosophy (sometimes) etc subjects, can amount in costing to $200 or more in total for buying separate texts, just like a single, average business/law/nursing/science textbook.

read books from outside of your prescribed texts, and get totally engrossed in them if you can. i did this in first year with the complete tomorrow, when the war began series and the ellie chronicles (it’s sequel trilogy) by john marsden. and yes, i completely ignored by readings for these books, bc i hated like 90% of my uni texts. but i’ll admit that it made uni a tad more bearable, though.

if you have free days, do not go into uni. use them to catch up on sleep. or do my next point.

apply for jobs. maybe you’ll be lucky to get one and learn how to balance study with work. also it can keep you sane, money wise. something i didn’t get to have during these last 3 and a 1/2 years. but you’ll also get to know how hiring works, in general.

make yourself a fucking study timetable. this will help you get an idea of when you’re set for study. and i know, i know. it’s so hypocritical of me to suggest this bc i never bothered to make one for myself anf instead went with “i’ll study when i feel like it”......... which, um, barely ever happened all throughout uni... until this sem. lol whoops. try and stick to your timetable.

if you can, delete you fucking tumblr. 

COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! MAKE THIS BEVERAGE YOUR FRIEND.

if your uni has a bar, don’t avoid it. you might make friends there. i was alone at uni for a vast bulk of the time, so i avoided the bar and mostly stayed in the library.... which didn’t give me much time to make friends.

if you make good friends at uni, talk to them often, so that you can coordinate some of your classes/tuts with them and so you can exchange not w/ each other to save time come exams. it’ll also save your ass in some classes where the prof passes around the roll in the lecture and doesn’t really check the attendance

also try and pick subjects that have recorded lectures, those fuckers save your ass come essay writing time etc.

if you’re doing literature/creative writing etc subjects, read some of your prescribed texts in the uni break- in either the november-march break or the june/july break. yeah, it’ll drive you insane bc you’re reading for a class in the holidays, but, fuck. it’s saved my ass a couple of times with books that are anywhere between 200-400 pages long (e.g. wuthering heights, lady chatterly’s lover, the grapes of wrath, any of shakespeare’s plays etc etc) giving me either a lighter reading load bc I’d finished the book during break or I’d left a few pages near the end of the book, but had read the bulk saving me a fuck tonne of reading time during the heavy part of the sem.

AUDIOBOOKS BITCHES. i only started using audiobooks on youtube when doing shakespeare. but damn. they’re amazing if you don’t really want to be engaged in a physical book sometimes, and great for gauging the tone of whats being said/picturing the characters more clearly when doing literature/creative writing subs. i’ve heard several times that they’re particularly good for commuting to and from uni, if you live far away. but sometimes they can be a bit pricey.

buy secondhand textbooks y’all.

DO NOT BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS IN ADVANCE, in some cases. i did this for a lot of my subjects, and some times one to two of the texts changed each year... or in one case, THE WHOLE FUCKING READING LIST CHANGED. LITERALLY, and i’d spent like $200 buying the books in advance. but also, i got to read some good books by accident. don’t waste your money. but if you can find them cheap (like old editions in other fields obvs, that students are selling, buy them if you hella need the book)

take lunch in to save money on expensive campus food. but on that same note, don’t forget to spoil yourself with some of the nice food on campus every once in while.

also for lit/creative writing subjects, go to your local op shop or thrift shop to find some of the older books and get them for like $2 or 90cents instead of the fucking $15-$30 that your uni will have you sell your soul for.

Feel free to add more!!! and defs for other fields! 

[my-little-yellowbird]

Fangirl Asks...

I know, I know.  This has taken me 5-ever to complete.  Thank you to @bbcshipper , @elasticmonk , @fourteen-teacups   @thatginchygal and @like-an-officer-and-a-sergeant for tagging me in this fandom questionaire.  I really enjoyed doing it, and got kinda loquacious with my response.  This is definitely worthy of a Reaad More break!

@bbcshipper asked:

1. How much do your real life friends/family know about your fandom life?  My family knows, or think they know.  Friends, nope.  They know I’m a fan, but have no idea of the extent of my madness.  I hold back with “normals.”

2. Have you ever embarrassed yourself fangirling? I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.

3. What’s a recurring theme of fanfictions of you OTP that you find annoying/dislike?  Live and let live, and all, but I avoid nun smut.

4. What are some prompts/ideas you might want explored more in fanfic? (asking this one for some ideas, hope that’s okay!)  I love  fluff, of course, but I really enjoy fics that explore the real-world, ordinary problems and compromises that come with marriage.

5. What’s the meaning behind your tumblr name?  There’s an Everly Brother’s song of the same name, and my Grandmother used to sing it to me.  I commissioned an artist to make a stained-glass yellowbird and its become a sort of talisman.  

6. Favorite moment(s) with your OTP?  The hand kiss, the misty road, “What’s she like?” the so-sexy almost kiss in the tent, Teddy’s birth (I know. Don’t @ me. I complain about the story arc, but I’m not heartless)

7. How far would you travel to meet your OTP in real life?  If I were to meet them IRL, I’d have to pretend I was someone else.  I’m not good with worlds colliding.

8.Do you have a playlist for your OTP? (again, looking for ideas!)  Sorry, not really.  I’m terrible with playlists.  There was an old Youtube video featuring Pink and Nate Ruess of “Just Give Me a Reason” that gets to me.

9. What about your real life would shock your OTP?  Shelagh might find it odd that Patrick looks remarkably like Mr. Birdy.

10. What have you learned from being a part of the fandom?  I’ve learned a great deal about how different people cope with anxieties.  

11. What’s the best thing about your fandom?  My friends.  

@elasticmonk  asked:

1. What was your first fandom?  Call the Midwife is my first true-blue, throw-yourself-into-it fandom.  

2. What’s your favorite thing about your main fandom now?  People get me.

3. What is your main fandom?  Turnadette (sorry--do people actually have others?  jk)

4. Who is your favorite character of all time?  I can’t think of one, honestly, but I’ll say Molly Weasley, because of the next question.

5. What three quality’s do you think you share with your favorite character (of anything)?   Molly Weasley is devoted to her family, not afraid to love them and not let them get away ith nonsense,  and brave enough to stand up for right.

6. Where would you like to see your OTP vacation and why?  I’d like to see them at the beach in Torquay.  If Shelagh could wear the yellow swimsuit with the white band across the top, that would be ideal.  In fact, if they could live out any of my fics, I’d be a very happy bird.

7. What’s your favorite gif from your fandom?  I don’t know how to post an annotated gif mid-post, so I’ll just describe it.  It involves tiptoes, dancing, and a giant hand sprawled across a tiny back.

8. What’s your favorite picture from your fandom?  NGL

9. Who was your first OTP?  I guess I shipped Jo and Prof Bhaer as a kid?  

10. When did you start your main fandom?  I lurked through 2013 and into 2014.  I was very wary of the internet world, so when I finally identified myself, my palms were sweaty!  (My very first post was my first fic ever!)

11. AU or canon complaint fanfiction?  Canon-compliant, but I will read AU if it’s done in a way that sheds a new light on the characters.

@thatginchygal  asked:

1.  What was the first fanfic you ever read?  I can’t remember the first Call the Midwife fic I ever read.  It was all such a blur!! But...I think the first ever fic-like thing I ever read was a published Star Trek novel by A.C. Crispin, entitled Ishmael.  It was a mash-up of Star Trek and Here Come the Brides. So, so right.

2.  What was the first fanfic you ever wrote (if any)? Not Listening

3.  Your last text message is the title of your next fanfic.  What is it (and a brief summary)?

“I got you a glow stick.”  It was for a candlelight march.  I wonder...now i may have to do some research into marches in London in the early 1960′s...Or reinterpret that text for an altogether different purpose...

4.  Do you keep your fandom interests a secret from your RL family/friends?

No, it’s not a secret.  At least, not generally.  My feeling is, I have nothing to be embarrassed about, so if they want to see, then go look.  If they have a problem with anything they see, that would be on them.  Fortunately, their respect for my  right to have something just for myself--added to a little bit of fear of what they might find--keeps them away.

5.  What is one of your favorite scenes between your OTP?  I think Im going to pick the almost kiss in the tent.  It’s SoMarried!! and very sexy.  But you know, add about 100 more scenes and I’m good.

6.  Do you have a playlist for your OTP?  Sorry, no.

7.  Why do I suck at coming up with these questions?? You’re better than I am!

8.  Would you want to live in the ‘world’ of your favorite fandom?  Maybe visit?  Probably not.  I’m content to watch from here.

9.  What is your favorite piece of fandom merchandise? Oh, this is so easy.  I have the companion books to the series, a boatload of Nonnatun Holiday cards, my Yellowbird stained glass statue, but what I love the most are the crocheted Yellowbird my friend Soph made me, and the Yellowbird Christmas card Mushy sent me this year.  It’s framed!

In the fall of 2015, a group of lucky Nonnatuns went to a CtM panel that featured Heidi Thomas, Stephen McGann, Jenny Agutter, Emerald Fennell and Dame Pippa Harris.  A week later I recieved this promotional post card in the mail:

I have to admit, I was a little teary when I saw it, mostly because I was so touched that in the midst of their own fun, two friends had me in their thoughts.  They told the panelists about me, and how their show had helped to build friendships.  Everyone signed messages to me on the back.  I’m pretty sure HT’s message included an invite to tea.

10.  Have you ever drifted away from a fandom only to be sucked back in (perhaps by a new season or change of storyline)? Not really.

11.  Do you prefer canon-compliant fanfic or AUs?  Definitely Canon-compliant.

@fourteen-teacups asked:

1.  How did you come to join your first online fandom? Blame Call the Midwife.

2.  If your first fangirling obsession pre-dates access to fandoms, what was the show and/or your OTP?  In college, a friend was a huge Start Trek fan.  By default, I got interested (alas, not obsessed).

3.  If your OTP came to visit you in your town (in present day) where would you take them?  We have a lot of parks suitable for camping.  I could take them there to see a lovely site, then bring them back to my house for a nice cuppa and fresh sheets.

4.  What three things do you have in common with your favorite character?  

5.  What prop would you most like to have from your favorite show? (I borrowed this question from a behind the scenes CtM interview.)  The photograph of the cricket team on the surgery mantle and Shelagh’s long-lost sunflower brooch. 

6.  Same question but for an article of clothing.  I want the Tan Overcoat of Love.

7.  Where would you like to see your OTP go on vacation and why?  See Elasticmonk q6

8.  Do you have a) multiple OTPs; or are you b) a one-OTP-at-a-time person?  I have a great appreciation for many OTP’s, but for me, there can be only one.

9.  In question 8, if you answered a) list your top three OTPs; if you answered b) what was the OTP you dropped for your current one?

10.  If you lurked in your fandom before joining (or even if you didn’t), is there a fellow fan whom you consider “famous” in the fandom that makes you fangirl whenever they comment on your posts?  I was desperate for @this-unruly-heart to notice me!  One day she messaged me asking if I was the one who wrote a "Letters” fic that she loved. 

11.   Was there a particular person who was especially welcoming and/or helpful when you first joined your current fandom?  Many of the Nonnatuns of old that were supportive of my early efforts have moved on to other things, but the boost they gave to my confidence was immeasurable. Oh, and Sarge, too!

@like-an-officer-and-a-sergeant  asked:

1. When did you start taking part in fandom(s)?  I dipped my toe into the Star Trek fandom back in the late 1980′s.  A dear friend was a huge fan, and her enthusiam was contagious.  Sadly, she died in December 1988, and I had to leave fandoms behind.  Then, in 2005 we moved away from the very close world we had built, and I was lonely.  I started to look around for period dramas to watch and stumbled upon North and South.  I was unbelievably grateful it wasn’t the old Civil War mini-series, and I started to read everything I could find.  I came across C-19, and found fanfic as I now know it.  As much as I enjoyed it though, I wasn’t ready to participate as anything other than a lurker until Call the Midwife came along.

2. Which fandoms? Sorry, I think I answered that in th eprevious response

3. How long did you stay? Ibid

4. Did you write fanfics?  Yes, although sometimes I need a kick in the butt to make sure it doesn’t become a past tense thing.

5. Any memorable funny event in your fandoms?  So many ridiculous things have happenned here.  Hiatus Challenges, Limericks (!!!), Twitter responses (remember when HT used to answer our questions? Flat/house! Names!), Nonnatun Holiday Card Exchanges...It seems that the funniest things would come out of nowhere.

6.  Did you get long-time friends? (even as Real People)?  Definitely.  There are people I have met here that I feel I know as well or better than people IRL.  And one poor soul has had to bear meeting me in person and somehow still continues to be my friend.

So here are my questions.  

How has fangirling made an impact in your life?

What makes fangirling most worthwhile to you?

What have you learned about yourself by being a part of a fandom?

I tag: @elasticmonk @thatginchygal @fourteen-teacups @like-an-officer-and-a-sergeant  @lovetheturners @hihereami  @pellucidthings @gabolange  @missouiser @ilovemushystuff @it-is-bugs @crinklybrownleaves @majsmom   @missbergmans @miss-ute @snoopctm @mg-bsl381 @turnt4turnadette @cooldoyouhaveaflag @eatapinkwafer @weshallc @westcoastwilma @skerri @beatrix-franklin @alice1nwond3rland @sincerelygeertje @silentkw @flyingnonny @anamarialujan @purple-roses-words-and-love @bloghey131313 @poplarpatience @soibhanmannion @kaguyahime1224

and anyone else who sees this. My fingers are tired.

[winter-and-little-brunettes]

85 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @vldrocketeer! Thanks, sweetie, sorry Im getting to doing this so late!!!

— What was your last…

1. Drink: Coca-Cola! And, Im about to go grab another can...

2. Phone call: My mom! I sent her some cute bird videos, and called her to hear her reactions to them.

3. Text message: A good friend I made in first year! His name is Colin, and he lived across the hall from me in residence first year. We’re both the same major (English Lit), and we both have similar interests in video games, so we got along great. I won’t post what I said, since we’re catching up and it was a long ass text message, but it was basically me explaining why I haven’t seen him around lately (since I’m usually holed up at work when I’m on campus)

4. Song you listened to: “Turning Page” by Sleeping At Last. It’s a favourite of mine!

5. Time you cried: Oh jeez... Uh, last month? March has been pretty stressful, and April will make me want to rip my hair out...

6. Dated someone twice: I almost did! But no, never actually dated the same guy twice.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Its hard enough to get me to kiss someone, let alone do it and regret it.

8. Been cheated on: I have. He was my first and only heartbreak (so far)

9. Lost someone special: Hmm... I think my best answer here is “yes”.

10. Been depressed: I mean, Im usually a pretty happy person, but everyone has their ups and downs. I cant say Ive been clinically depressed, but I have had a very dark part in my life, and I feel like another one is coming.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: HAHAHA uh... no... I mean, that totally wasn’t me...

— Fave colours

12. purple!!

13. blue, like, a royal blue, yknow?

14. pink

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: I have, fortunately!!

16. Fallen out of love: “I need to be in love for that to happen” god Erin, same

17. Laughed until you cried: Those are some of the best moments. I’m a loud laugher, and it happens like, once a week probably.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t do anything special enough to be talked about

19. Met someone who changed you: I feel like every person I’ve ever met has influenced me in some way or the other, so yes.

20. Found out who your friends are: Oh man, I certainly have. Fortunately, I have that cliche best friend story where I’ve literally known her since SK, went to the same elementary school, high school, and university together... And she lived around the corner from me when I still lived in my hometown.

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: Well, considering my one ex is my friend there, I have to say yes.

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: Every single one. Although I’m never on facebook so don’t ever add me; itll take a month to hear back from me.

23. Do you have any pets: I have two cats! Well, one lives with me, and the other is at my parent’s place. But Perriwinkle is with me, my precious kitty, and shes all I need!

24. Do you want to change your name: Hmm... I do quite like my birth name, and I adore my last name, but my middle name... Im not super fond of “Marie”.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: hahahaha uh, well, Id been working at my new job for about a week at that time, so I was working on my 19th birthday.

26. What time did you wake up today: 11:35am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was working on The Power of Faiths upcoming update! ;)

28. What is something you can’t wait for: to be done university... As much as it’s a cool experience and all, all the stress it brings is gonna kill me prematurely.

30. What are you listening to right now: “I Get To Love You” by Ruelle

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I work with a guy named Tom. He’s a music major, he plays piano and is overall a super cool dude

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: when people I call for my job pick up the phone on a Sunday and bitch at me that I’m calling on “the day of rest”. Like?? Bitch, you did not have to pick up the phone. You saw the caller ID, just, let it go to voicemail?????????

33. Most visited website: It’s a toss-up between tumblr and ao3

34. Hair colour: brown, like, chocolate brown I guess

35. Long or short hair: It’s long for some people’s standards (it comes to between my shoulder blades) but still pretty short for me. I’m used to my hair reaching the small of my back.

36. Do you have a crush on someone: Oh hell no, aint nobody got time for that

37. What do you like about yourself: Uh... You guys wouldn’t like my answer.

38. Want any piercings: I seriously thought about a tongue piercing, but idk.

39. Blood type: You’d think, from the amount of blood Ive had taken for allergy tests and the like that I’d know. But nope, I have no idea.

40. Nicknames: Sam, Sammy, Samserban, Pretties, Samuel.

41. Relationship status: Single

42. Sign: Gemini!

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: Voltron

45. Tattoos: I’m looking into tattoo parlors to get my first tattoo over the summer. I’m gonna get a bunch of flowers on my back, over my heart, for my grandma <3

46. Right or left handed: Right

47: Ever had surgery: Nope! Worst I’ve had are x-rays

48. Piercings: I do have my ears pierced, just once.

49. Sport: Hahahaaaa not anymore, I’m lazy af. But I used to figure skate competitively, row competitively, and ride horses.

50. Vacation: I hardly ever travel. Ive been down to Florida twice, and been to England and Scotland around this time two years ago with my two best friends.

51. Trainers: ...no? Again, I’m lazy af.

— More general

52. Eating: I dont eat as often as I should.

53. Drinking: Coca-Cola. Or coffee. Not sure which I’m gonna get yet.

54. I’m about to watch: I mean, I should be working on papers or something... Or even writing... But I just finished watching Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood the other day and I loved it!!!

55. Waiting for: my English prof to give me my marks back for a paper I wrote.

56. Want: a lot of money so I don’t have to work as much as I do to live in my bachelor’s apartment with my cat.

57. Get married: Maybe..... It depends on if I ever find the right person. But if I dont, I am more than happy to be alone.

58. Career: I really reeeaaally want to get into a writing/editing career. I want to one day work for a firm to work one on one with authors to help them edit and publish novels!

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: Hugs!

60. Lips or eyes: Oooh, eyes man!

61. Shorter or taller: Taller...

62. Older or younger: Older

63. Nice arms or stomach: Ooooh... arms...

64. Hookup or relationships: Definitely relationships, but I’m terrible at keeping them,,

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: Oh gosh, I mean, Im definitely more of a trouble maker... But like, a cautious one.

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: Oh hell no

67. Drank hard liquor: Im Canadian... Yes

68.Turned someone down: Haha, I sure have! I got asked out by two different guys on the same day before.

69. Sex on first date: Oh god no

70: Broken someone’s heart: Probably.....

71. Had your heart broken: I most certainly have!

72. Been arrested: Fortunately, not.

73. Cried when someone died: Yes. But, only once.

74. Fallen for a friend: I have no idea what this means???

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: hahaha uh... No???????

76. Miracles: Id like to??

77. Love at first sight: I do, but not for myself.

78. Santa Claus: Nope

79. Angels: Oh god no

— Misc

80. Eye colour:  like, a warm brown colour?

81. Best friends name: Kaylee!

82. Favourite movie: I love too many movies... But the ones that come to mind are Spirit: Stallion of the Cimerran, Stardust, The Swan Princess, and Toy Story!!!

83. Favourite actor: There are days I can barely remember my coworkers names, and I see them for like, 15 hours a week. Let alone someone I’ve never met???

84. Favourite cartoon: It’s Voltron ;)

85. Favourite teacher’s name: I dont really consider myself to have “favourite” profs. But I am fond of a few that I’ve had!

I’m gonna tag @forsakenangel88, @mardimari, @dumb-birdd, and any of my followers who want to do this! Just tag me, I’d love to see your answers <3

[maspwinj2]

 so i had this angry anon sending me 4 messages the other day so i guess im gonna answer, i mean as much as it is possible to answer those kinds of messages you know

anyway anon, i hope that you’ve calmed down a bit, ate some snickers and shit

i’ll do it bit by bit

“Okay I get it, you really believe and have "profs" and everything about Jared and Jensen being together in a romantic relationship, fine, you ship them.”

 well that’s the first sentence and you already show that no, you do not get it lol

cos you’re making it sound like i only tinhat j2 cos i ship them when it’s the complete opposite actually, it’s only months after i discovered that j2 were together, and learned during all those months what great guys they are and how much their love is real and beautiful and inspirational that i finally started shipping them sooo yeah don’t call me a j2 shipper because not all j2 shippers are tinhats and the j2 shipping hets are the most disgusting pieces of shit cos they fantasize and over sexualize gay relationships WHILE erasing those relationships in real life, they use j2′s blatant love for each other as fuel to wet their panties but refuse to acknowledge it’s real, it’s so fucking disgusting so yeah don’t put me in the same bag as those people, im not just a shipper thank you

“What I don't get is why does it matter so much to you? I've seen your blog and literally all you talk/answer questions about is whether their wives conceived in this way or the other and saying things about two man in a relationship that you honestly don't know anything about?”

well j2 are my favs so... i care about them, what the fuck is you problem dude this blog’s whole purpose is to talk about j2 related stuff, have you been living under a rock??? people gossip about actors and famous people since forever and i know more about j2′s lives than i know of my own family members, that’s just what happens when you’re interested in something/someone: you try to get as much information as possible!!! wake up!

and i’ve looked at my last 20 posts and at least 15 of them are asks, i mostly answer asks around here so if you have a problem with the topics you should send your complaints to the anons ok?

“And yes I get that you are going to insult me for this” 

well actually no im not cos you’re embarassing yourself enough as it is i don’t wanna shoot on the ambulance

“I'm not saying this for YOU I'm saying this because of them. Would you like having someone like you talking and making assumptions about your life or your love life in the EXACT same way your are doing in here?”

oh boy look at this, this is j2′s white knight in shining armour right here, protecting them from people daring to gossip!!!! and what a vile crime that is!! buddy there are people out there actually insulting directly on SM jared and jensen over anything and everything everyday, so i can assure you, people like me, who just say their wives are beards on our private accounts really aren’t the problem and you should go somewhere else and protect j2 from actual harmful people instead of wasting your time here

“Because yes, you can ship 2 people and all...”

again as is said earlier me tinhatting j2 isn’t about shipping, and i think shipping 2 real people who aren’t together for real is disrespectful

so no actually you can’t ship 2 people who aren’t together, it’s gross imo but do i expect people to agree with me and stop writing RPF? no. do i send them messages to tell them how bad what they’re doing is? no. im not expecting anyone to go by my morals because guess what? morals vary a lot from people to people

and you actually believe it’s PERFECTLY FINE to write a 500,000 fic about jared and jensen fucking each other on set??? to write a fic about them getting raped tortured or whatever else awful things peole can think of??? you think people fantasizing about getting fucked by them is a-ok??? but me talking about their wives being beards (which is simply the truth btw) IS GOING TOO FAR??????? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING wtf is wrong with you??? 

so treating j2 like sex objects is morally ok but me talking about their real life is NOT????? 

im just..... 

and the worse is that you actually believe you are the better person here just oh my god.... whatever moving on

“but why do you have to involve the kids and everything in this?”

what the fuck did i say about the kids? do you think saying they were convinced via IVF is insulting? does science scare you that much? 

and i’d like you to note this: i’ve literally seen hets talking about danneel using IVF since they think she has some fertility problem, and since she got twins, they really believed she used that way. SO what you’re trying to say is that hets can talk about j2′s “wives” and kids without being disrespectful but SINCE IM A HAT I CANT DO THE SAME??? SERIOUSLY??? 

guess what, hats aren’t the only ones who analize j2s family, they aren’t the only ones who look for every new pics and info about them, they aren’t the only ones who gossip about them ok? 

“you are saying that 2 mature man are in a romantic relationship and they who KNOW are on 2017 and are extremely supportive of minorities and gay people, are hiding it so bad like to hire "fake wives" and kids”

uuuh do you actually believe that the only reason why j2 could be in the closet is because they are self-hating gays and they hate all all gays and are racists??? do you even look at what you write?

j2 are in the closet, not because they hate themselves, but because if they were out, spn and their career would be over! and you think they “hired” kids???? you don’t make any sense!

you’re just one of this person who don’t know anything about bearding and just fyi j2 aren’t an exception there are many many other gay people in hollywood who have fake relationships, and kids too! because gay people are actually allowed to have children! crazy right?

anyway im tired of answering that ask now, there was more but you’re just repeating yourself and like god:

“if you are going to ship them I think you should do it and not in the sick invasive way that you are doing it right now”

you really do not understand, making theories and making vids proving j2 lied ISN’T SHIPPING!!!!! it’s TINHATTING, ITS NOT THE SAME THING

if i was an active shipper, i would post fanfic recs, i would post headcanons and fanarts, do i do that? no! stop saying it’s shipping for fuck sake

oh god this anon was so dumb they have no idea what they’re talking about uuuuuuuuuuugh stupid people everywhere

and wait finally i’d like you to notice that those angry messages came in response to that ask  and as you can see, this anon was trying to convince me and manipulate me by using my own tweet into thinking j2 aren’t actually together but since it didn’t work they came back very angrily vomiting their real thoughts and my guess is that they were so angry because j2 LITERALLY HAD A DATE NIGHT RIGHT AFTER THEY SENT THAT ASK HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i bet they were so mad j2 were proving them wrong lmaoooooo

[37h4n0l]

Tagged by: @bluetheon​ Thank you, my dude <3

Rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST

1. drink: Mineral water, as is the case 90% of the time 2. phone call: To my aunt about the public transport strike, damn this company honestly, they keep happening exactly when I have to go somewhere 3. text message: To my aunt, about the same thing as above 4. song you listened to: Sleep inside by Lilium 5. time you cried: A serious amount and not just shedding a tear or so? A few weeks ago, alone and at home fortunately, and I don’t remember what it was about. One of my internal hissyfits, probably. Imagine being able to rile yourself up on your own so much that you cry. Just end me hahahha. 6. dated someone twice: I’m not sure how to interpret the question; I haven’t gotten in and out of a relationship with anyone, but I’ve been on multiple dates in my current one. 7. kissed someone and regretted it: Middle school something something bottle game something. 8. been cheated on: No, but I’ve been bamboozled and fucked over already, I don’t know which is preferable among the two. 9. lost someone special: I think this is about death, so no. Some people around me have died but no one special. 10. been depressed: Hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhaha 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Several times, and since then I don’t drink heavy liquor. 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS 12. Bordeaux 13. Purple 14. Olive green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. made new friends: I make friends online pretty frequently; not irl though.  16. fallen out of love: Like 3 times or so? 17. laughed until you cried: The opposite is more frequent, sometimes it happens that I’m crying or am about to cry and just summarizing the situation in my head and thinking about the fact that I’ll come out of it gets me a rush of happiness? I kept wondering what this was for a long time and now I’ve finally read about it, it’s a sort of self-instigation of your brain’s gratification centre and a lot of people can do it, nuns in particular when they show a spontaneous joy for God when asked. Random fact of the day. 18. found out someone was talking about you: I found implications of people talking about me in a very creepy and stalkerish fashion, which I didn’t appreciate. Weren’t talking smack at least...

19. met someone who changed you: No. 20. found out who your friends are: I found out that my online friends are important if that counts <3 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: My gf. GENERAL 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost of them, I’m wary of adding unknown people on fb. There are a few internet friends though. 23. do you have any pets: A cat but it doesn’t live with me :c 24. do you want to change your name: It’d be too hard to get used to even though I don’t like the current one. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Had lunch with my family lmao. 26. what time did you wake up:  Around 8:20. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Reading. 28. name something you can’t wait for: The next con maybe? 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: About 1-2 months ago. 31. what are you listening to right now: The obnoxious sound of cars and motorbikes outside my window. 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: He was the prof who prepared me for the SAT which I had to take for absolutely no reason; we had political disagreements but he was nice overall. Said he’d give me a B if I was in his class, but I’m not a native speaker so I get a free pass. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: Do you really need the complete list? People who thrive on ruining things for no reason Postmodernism. I am talking about postmodernism. People who insist too much when you already told them not to Book critics who review books the subject matter of which they don’t understand One person in particular People who wake you up or try to talk to you while you’re reading or listening to music 34. most visited website: This garbage site probably lmao. 35. hair colour: Blonde 36. long or short hair: Right now it’s a bad, undefinable mid-length but I might grow it out, we’ll see. 37. do you have a crush on someone: I have a girlfriend. 38. what do you like about yourself: This was a particularly tough one but probably the fact that I’m not a postmodernist. 39. want any piercings: Nah. I have two holes in one of my ears already though. 40. blood type: I don’t know the AB classification (and literally no one in my family does either) but I know it’s Rh negative. 41. nickname: Edge 42. relationship status: Taken 43. zodiac: Cancer. It’s a sign I hate, by the way. 44. pronouns: She/her 45. favourite tv show: If anime counts; 91 Days. If it doesn; ATLA. 46. tattoos: As if I need one more unchangeable thing in my life that I’m gonna take to the grave when blank slate theory has been disproven... 47. right or left handed: Right 48. surgery: Had birthmarks removed since they could become cancerous. 49. piercing: See above. 50. sport: I normally jog, I’m just slacking now in the last days of vacation. 51. vacation: Anywhere interesting? I don’t really have preferences, it just needs to be comfortable. 52. pair of trainers: I have 4 pairs of usable shoes, the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Flip-flops for home, sandals for wherever as long as it’s hot, a cheap pair Chinese of leather (?) shoes for when it’s too cold for sandals or I have to walk a lot and boots for winter. The only trainers I have are the ones for jogging, I don’t wear them outside.  MORE GENERAL 53. eating: Nothing but will soon. 54. drinking: W a t e r 55. im about to: Eat.

56. waiting for: Food. 57. want: A lot more books, a lot more time, and the one single volume of Devilman I can’t find anywhere. 58. get married: Perhaps? 59. career: No clue yet, I just hope my life won’t be insignificant and monotonous.

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: Why do I have to choose?

61. lips or eyes: Both? 62. shorter or taller: I’m irritated by people who are too tall; shorter and same height is alright. 63. older or younger: Younger 64. nice arms or nice stomach: These don’t even register as sexual body parts to me. I’m gay. 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Depends on the situation and the amount of conviction. HAVE YOU EVER 67. kissed a stranger: Nope. 68. drank hard liquor: Yes, and I don’t anymore. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Multiple times. 70. turned someone down: I can’t count it on one hand. 71. sex on the first date: Nope. 72. broken someone’s heart: I have no idea, if I have they haven’t told me. 73. had your heart broken: A long time ago, maybe. 74. been arrested: Nope. 75. cried when someone died: Nope. 76. fallen for a friend: 1.5 times. I won’t go into explaining why ‘half’. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN 77. yourself: I fucking wish fam. 78. miracles: Coincidences, maybe.  79. love at first sight: I know it’s a thing that happens with a biological basis. Hasn’t happened to me though. I need to know I can trust people first.  80. santa claus: I AM Santa Claus. 81. kiss on the first date: Can’t see the reason why since you don’t even really know the person yet... Why not though. 82. angels: Not really. OTHER 83. current best friends name: Everyone I’m close to on Discord and none of them is prioritized over the others. 84. eye colour: Greyish blue-something. 85. favorite movie: Either The Prestige or Memento.

I don’t really have time to tag so I’ll just throw the usual homies in here. Not gonna be 20 though. @fallingintheblue @chvvva @suicidefordummies @g0re-whore @cinnanami 

[saintkimora]

ok, here is a full account of what happened yesterday and the new events from today. caleb if you are seeing this please respect my privacy and stop reading now 

ok so it started the other day. caleb texted me at night saying he wanted to talk to me about something serious the next day. i asked what it was about and he said he just wanted to be friends but i didnt read too much into it bc he is impulsive so i figured he would come to his senses the next day

so then yesterday happened. i had just gotten out of sociology at like 10:40am and i saw that he had texted me all these things about breaking up. then when i got to my car he called me on the phone. he then proceeded to break up with me over the phone. his reasoning was that since hes prob moving in a few weeks, he wanted to stop being boyfriends now that way when he does leave itll hurt less than it would, so like easing himself out of the relationship basically. i think its a stupid idea 

so these are the issues i had. the first was that he broke up with me over the phone, not even in person. and like i was crying over the phone and his tone was just like very cold and detached and business like and that really hurt me bc he obv knew i was crying but i didnt feel any sympathy from him whatsoever. like if he was crying i would obv be comforting him and trying to make him feel better not talking like a robot. another thing that hurt was that he gave up on the long distance relationship before we could even try it. it made me feel like i was so worthless and unimportant that he didnt even feel like putting forth the effort to make our relationship work. and the fact that he did this all over a 10 minute phone call on his way to the gym. and then like 20 min after he had the NERVE to post a video on his snap story of him at the gym saying “feeling so good *blushing smile emoji*” like that really hurt my feelings and when i told him that later he was like “oh stop making everything about you it was just how i was feeling after working out” but like? i know he obv wasnt saying that he felt so good about breaking up. but what bothered me was that like after he broke up w me, i was a mess i was literally crying all day and i couldnt do anything but cry i was so upset. and then here he is just going on with his day like its another normal tuesday. like the fact that he was capable of being so happy not even a few hours after breaking my heart made me feel like i was nothing, like it was just an errand like “oh im gonna break up with perry then go to the gym lol” and the fact that he did it over the phone just made me feel so insignificant like i was nothing to him and that really hurt. and like ive tried to be the best boyfriend i can be for him and i try to do everything he asks of me so for him to just break up with me in such a dismissive way makes it feel like he doesnt even care

so i was crying in my car, like really bad like i was BAWLING. so i went to the student counseling center and asked for a crisis meeting and i got set up w this counselor named josh. he was nice and tried to help me calm down and focus on orgo. it was nice to have someone to talk to i guess

so then i went home. he called me again to like try to explain himself but only made me feel worse. he was like “you know when i move im not gonna be able to see you everyday and cuddle with you and fall asleep on your chest anymore” and that just made me sadder and i was crying again on the phone. then later we were texting and he was like denying breaking up with me. like, you said you wanted to just be friends and you explicitly said that you didnt want to be boyfriends anymore so how is that not breaking up??? and he said “i was trying to have a conversation with you but all you did was cry.” with the period to show how serious he was. and it really hurt me when he said that bc it felt like he was mad at me and using me crying against me, like i somehow did something wrong by crying. again if he was the one crying i would not be holding it against him like that so i really wish he didnt say that bc it made me feel bad for being emotional which should not be something to feel bad about. and at the end of the call he didnt say i love you like he always does so that hurt my feelings as well

and like i took away the hearts from his contact name and changed my phone backgrounds since they were pictures of him and that just made me really sad

i skipped psych and anatomy lecture but i couldnt skip my anatomy practical. i cried when i was backing up my car to leave bc i saw the “hi <3″ that he wrote in the dirt on my back windshield a while ago and it just set me off. so i got to school and i was planning on having this be the dropped grade so i wasnt like worried but i got a 90 anyways so that was nice. the prof was like “perry whats wrong you look depressed” and i was like im just a little sad today and he was like why and i was like “bc my significant other broke up w me” (i used s/o bc idk how my prof is about those things so i didnt wanna say bf). he told me this story about how in his senior year of college he had such bad mono it was misdiagnosed as hodgkins disease so he was given 18 months to live and his gf of 4 years left him after finding out. so he told me “perry, girls are like a bus. if you miss one, another one will come along in 15 minutes. if i had daughters i would tell them the same thing about guys” so that was nice that he tried to cheer me up. then when i was leaving from the other room (bc we leave our stuff in the other room during the practical) the TA came to me from the main room and wished me luck on my finals so that was nice of him 

so then i went home. then at 10pm i met w caleb in person in his car. we talked and at first he would not let me get a word in and he just kept defending himself and what also upset me was that he thought the reason i was so upset was that he was moving and he was so defensive like “i wish i could stay here but i have no choice i cant afford to live here its too expensive” and like that is not what upset me!!! i already knew he was moving ive had time to accept it what upset me was how he broke up w me for no reason w almost no warning and did it in such a cold way. and like the way i see it is since hes leaving instead of easing ourselves out of the relationship to stop us from getting hurt when he actually leaves (which wont happen bc itll hurt regardless), i figured we should make the most of our time together and enjoy each other as much as possible since we’ll have plenty of time to get over each other AFTER he moves. so when i told him my point of view he was like “i wish i thought of it like that, im really bad at this” so that was how i resolved the issue. he was hesitant about keeping the bf label but i told im i really wanted to and i didnt see a point in taking away the label now anyways. i also told him i at least wanted to try long distance instead of giving up before it even happens. i dont remember what he said to it though lol i was too emotional. but yeah the beginning of the convo just felt like he was berating me and i started to cry again bc i dont like it when hes rude to me like that

then he told me that im so sensitive i could see a squirrel in the road and cry and i had to explain to him that i am not a sensitive and emotional person! im normally v reserved w my emotions like ive only cried maybe 3 times the past 8 years and that im just emotional when it comes to him bc i care about him so much

another thing that bothered me was that he said every relationship teaches a lesson, and from ours he learned not to rush into things. i dont get that bc yes we did rush but that wasnt really a bad thing? like he wouldve moved regardless so taking things slow wouldnt have changed that. and like since we rushed into things it will hurt more when he leaves since we are closer than we would be if we took it slow but also like, if we didnt rush we wouldnt have gotten so close and had so much fun together in the first place. so imo the benefits of getting so close so fast vastly outweighed the pain of him leaving

so everything would be great except for this next part. he told me the easing out of the relationship thing was bc he got the advice to do that from his mom and leeann. so when i got home i made a post calling leeann toxic and his mom stupid for interfering in our relationship. and like yall can tell that obv i was kidding and just exaggerating for humorous effect like i dont really think his mom is stupid or that leeann was toxic, just that their advice in the situation was bad. but caleb texted me this morning being so rude calling me disgustingly disrespectful for saying that and he said that “next time you think about doing this remember how it felt when i dumped you (so he admitted that he did dump me) - and get those tissues ready” (since ive been using a lot of tissues since i was crying so much). that really really hurt my feelings bc 1. he is once again using me crying against me and 2. it shows a total lack of sympathy for me crying, like it felt like hell yesterday i was so upset and he knows that so for him to threaten to put me through that again just shows he doesnt really care about me or my feelings. 

he also said i need to stop using him and leeann and his mom as “characters in your online stories” like...these arent online stories? this blog is where i vent and talk about my feelings since i dont have anyone to do that with irl and i need to get them out somewhere im not writing these posts to be mean it just feels good to put my thoughts into words instead of bottling them up and even my therapist thinks its a good thing for me to do  

so he said that but i was NOT having it. i typed up a long text in response and even i admit it was kinda mean. like in his he said “dont even talk to me for the rest of the day” so at the end of my text i said “dont talk to me ever i am perfectly fine w never talking to you again the rest of my life so bye have fun in new hampshire or whatever” and he was like “perry stop you dont mean that last part” and then he called me and once again got defensive he said he was just trying to have a convo w me and i was being aggressive for no reason. like, no??? a convo would have been texting me like “perry i know its your personal blog where you post your feelings but this post upset me and this is why” not coming at me with 4 super rude texts out of nowhere. so he was trying to play the victim and paint me as irrational and that im overreacting just like he did yesterday and i didnt like it! he was just dismissing my feelings again. so i went OFF in this phone call like wow i really snapped and it felt good tbh

like i think he was just expecting me to sit there and take it and apologize like i usually do when he gets like this but i am done doing that! so i think he was caught off guard that i stood up for myself. i was like caleb i really dont care i have the most important orgo test of the semester today you already took yesterday from me but today i am not entertaining it if you have an issue call me after my test” and i ended the convo and hung up and then he texted me “good luck on your test” like ok hi king of passive aggressiveness 

so thats it. i felt good at first but later on i felt bad so i texted him apologizing for snapping at him but i said i wont discuss the tumblr issue until we are in person. i asked if he was free tonight and he said no he wants a day or two to be separate and normally i would understand but like...hes moving in a few weeks i really dont want to waste time fighting and being in this weird place

not to be out of order but another thing that got on my nerves was when we made up last night. he said “once i move youll have more free time for things like school, work, maybe going to the gym” like once again here he is commenting on my appearance! like yes i know im scrawny and i wish i wasnt but im sick of him taking jabs at my looks like my body, acne, and eyebrows when i literally have NOTHING but nice things to say about how he looks. it makes me feel bad when he points out my flaws like that and a good boyfriend is not supposed to make me feel like that

now for the most recent development. leeann sent me this LONG fb message bc caleb told her what i posted about her. like why does he have to expose me like that! i didnt read the message i was like “yeah im not reading this but just so you know i was kidding i wasnt serious i was exaggerating lol” and she was like ok lol 

i just dont know why she thinks i care about her input on MY relationship? like youre calebs friend not mine to be frank i dont give a fuck what you think about whats best for my relationship like you dont know me so mind your business

and thats another thing. in the past caleb has gotten pissed at me for sharing our business too much (by telling my friends (who he will literally never meet since they all went away for school) and by posting on here) yet here he goes telling leeann everything! seems hypocritical to me

and heres a second thing. i have always told caleb that my blog is my personal space where i can safely vent and talk about my feelings and that he should respect my privacy by not reading my personal posts. and ive told him that if he does wanna read them then hes doing so at his own risk bc im not going to filter myself bc this is MY space not his so if he really wants to overstep his boundaries and look at my posts then he cant get mad at me for them bc HE is the one choosing to read them even after my warning! so i dont think he should be getting mad at me especially when i was in such an extreme state of mind yesterday since he put me through the worst day of my life for no reason which literally couldve been 100% avoided if he had just waited to talk to me in person instead of breaking up w me over the phone. and like now i feel like this isnt even a space place for me to express myself anymore since theres a chance of him seeing. and i tried blocking him before but he made a new blog and wont tell me the url so i cant block him smh

so yeah thats everything that happened. im kinda stressed rn w this whole leeann drama even though he shouldnt have been reading my posts in the first place. like its just so much drama and i dont like how it feels and idk why this relationship turned sour so fast and i wish he would just be nice and sweet to me again. so hopefully things get better 

[clumsyclifford]

ya know that ask meme that went around a while ago about like five things you would use to summon me turns out i just need like two and its u calling me baby and sayin ur feelin jewish. jane bordeaux playlist has been started and so far it is all of the songs off of אוקיינוסים (except the 12 second one) so maybe itll just end up being a complete discography but i will share when i am done after i have a chance to work on it between assignments (1/?)

ivri is so great i press play and just feel so calm with the piano and soft voice and like in kar kar when some1 else sings wow love it sm theres this trick where u put ur phone under ur pillow and its supposed to sound like laying on some1s chest while they sing to u and it sorta works so highly recommend with this album. i think that ill also go back to repressing broke ass millionaire and all the other english versions of their songs which i accidentally discovered and rlly wish i didnt (2/?)

okay i saw ur convo w kj about tashlich and bread and eels and bleach (wtf yall) and it might have been kj that tagged baruch hashem????? but i have no idea and i cant search her blog to find it? so who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ a very jewish 5sos mystery. but yea it sucks not getting class off for high holy days and my profs are usually understanding but teachers were Not understanding in high school in the south damn... (3/?)

zoom services do not sound fun but idk its easier for me to fast if im in services than if im in class maybe just cuz im so used to associating services w fasting idk i guess well see what i do too my colleges jewish group is putting together a list of cool services and some sound cool but also zoom means u can just leave when ur bored so... okay jewish geography! i may have to come off anon for this at some point but i lived in maryland for year! (4/?)

but i also know people in nfty and now i go to school in mass so theres some possible places? i also know a lot of jewish people in chicago from a urj camp if that sparks anything someone i went to camp with just did competitive jewish geography where two random people had to figure out a way to this specific person by calling in friends and its such a funny concept to me but also they ended up getting to the person so uh jewish geography works (5/?)

anyway i am always down to be jewish on main i do not have enough jewish friends and i would like them i will also continue to send long multi-part asks because i always have too much to say yikes sorry :)) (6/6) - שירים

PUTTING A READ MORE

thats so fucking funny im just gonna toss the words baby and jewish into random sentences and see if you come. also i am looking forward to this playlist and second side note if you have any ADDITIONAL hebrew artists please share those with me too i am trying to expand my repertoire even more

god i KNOW ha’ahava (the album) is just so soothing. like it’s so calming. ha’yeled sheli?? karosella??? ffffffffffff such a nice song however im going to admit something which is that i personally think kar kar would be nicer if it didn’t have the woman singing on it. like it just kind of jars me and im already in love with ivri’s voice and then it is rudely taken away i am not about that life BUT nevertheless the woman singing it with him still has a lovely voice so i can’t complain too much. however perhaps one day i shall have to try that phone under pillow trick hmmmmmm

GKFJGKDJKJJGFDKJ she said that the river near her is infested with poisonous snakes !!!! and i think tashlich is more important. but at any rate i don’t see why you can’t just toss the bread to the snakes. anyway i have to be honest i don’t think kj uses phrases like baruch hashem but it might have been her and i couldn’t find it on my own blog (even though. i am frankly almost 100% sure ive tagged something w that before, tumblr’s search function is just garbage lmao)

yeah my profs here have always been understanding but i bet in the south they weren’t yikes that is Tragic

omg okay i don’t know how much i should reveal to you in public to my whole entire blog i might doxx myself by accident i know i think one person in NFTY (i did USY, peripherally) and.........as for mass and chicago im not sure?? i think i know like random people here and there but mainly the places i know w loads of jews are like, new york, new jersey, atlanta........texas..........midwest a bit..........random places HOWEVER i have heard of that game and im pretty sure i know someone who played it im trying to remember which of my family members was relating that story to me but anyway thats really fuckin funny i mean yes jewish geography genuinely does work

CLEARLY i am also always down to be jewish on main so feel free to come jew it up in here whenever

[glopratchet]

Heel bash

Perfect beeing : an imprefect novel. The next day, you are on your way to the university with a small bag full of books and papers. You feel like you have been running all over town, but then again that is what this job does for you. The only thing keeping you from running amok in the streets is your fear of being caught by the police or some other authority figure who might not be as understanding as you would like about such actions. Angylph speaks and says "so what is this all about" You explain to him your situation and he seems very interested in it. He asks if you know anyone who might help you out. You say no, but Angylph points at one of the students sitting near you and says "that girl there is a student here too right? She could use some extra money." "since i prefer art bots instead of aborted babies, im going to assume you're referring to terease, and cant be legion. "when i read specutalive fiction" Just then, terease and the professor enter the room. Terease instantly notices you and walks towards the bottom of the steps leading up to where the professor is. By now angylph has moved into a corner away from everyone else obviously "engrossed" by a small experimental piece made by one of his fellow students. "alright here we go" you hear the professor mutter under his breath as he waits for everyone to quiet down. "let me sit back an attempt to figure all this out" he starts wit a chuckle, "well first of all it has to be said that this school is very proud of all of you. you have shown great promise in your respective fields especiallizing top graduates like terease here who graduated summaCum laude and to be honest would have finished much earlier had she not partaken in many of the University's arts programs." Everyone starts clapping at this point and the professor raises his hand for quiet. A sea of letters is called the spooge of Satan "and so it is with great pride in your accomplishments that the following students are also graduated." The professors lets out a long list of graduates names and tereases colapses from exhaustion and joy seconds before her name is called. You are, of course, one of the students called to receive a diploma. After nearly a full hour everyone gets their scholorships ready they begin to talk amongst themselves until the professor gets everyone's attention again. The who who clicks last is a stooge "on a completely different matter" he says "i know many of you come from far places, and some of you even farther than others so we have prepared a little party for you today" everyone starts applauding again until the prof holds up his hand for silence. Taking resposibility for your mistakes as we attempt to build a maze The story is told by multiverse explorer astral wylde as he naps during the last fateful trip through the red wave. The storys background is of little consequence to anyone outside astral, but describes the idea that life on most planets in a cataclysm called "the red wave" where upon every organism capable of mutating suddenly, violently and indefinitely until no earth-like quality exists. Its the eyes, ive seen them in my dreams. Now I must draw them. There are records stored in the city of astokhan on everything astral could tell us about the city during the red wave. There are floods of blood, violent uprisings and gory riots. Mothers kill babies, governments fall and deep dark secrets are revealed as everybodies darkest sides are exposed when god walked among them. The human population decreases at an alarming rate. But fortunately it is all worth it, for you see the survivors of the plague are transform into multidimensional beings that seemingly live forever. And during one of his less fuitful periods astral saw fit to return from whatever circle of hell he exists and tell us this story in a ottoman chamber aboard our fancy airship we were dragging him through space with... OOOhhh yes the main chamber should be pretty big Thats all for now folks, see you next time on... He decides to envision chains flowing from his control bracelets into the airship and ripping out a section of the exterior to form a bubble. This bubble is gently illuminated by a combination of weak sunlight and auroras. Meanwhile the skyship falls uncontrollably towards earth spewing fire and wreckage in its wake as it does "Now this you might find interesting" he grins. From the life of a beautiful painter he once knew Part 4 "An aurora occurs when our planet's magnetic field shifts sending energetic particles into the atmosphere producing light in the upper layers, often of a multi-colored hue." The university professor tells us with her droning voice, while we sit around our glowing orbs. "Multi-colored." I write on my note papers. We have these orbs that make everything look so pretty. Astral wydle because of his supernal nature is gifted with perfect memory recall and, although not wishing to brag, an above-average use of declarative sentences. But today he donates his notes to my forgetful brain and lets me jot down whatever I wish to on his perfectly organized pages. Last class we talked about cities that never slept because their streets always had a pulse even when it was long after midnight. And he remembers watching a video from mica metrological in his flamboyant style. A ghost-like aurora over midwest states caused an entire settlement's populace to never sleep again, causing anarchy and the eventual demise of their race. "It is beautiful" he wistfully whispers I supress a laugh by exhaling in his face. Talking about a thirty percent chance of rain that evening I'm still not sure if I find his obsession odd or admirable. Something starts beeping so I peep over his shoulder at the flashing orb and read "air pressure disturbance 1000 meters above current positoin expected te be 300 kph". Looking to the side I can make out a hovering 2 meter disc. He catch me looking and aims his orbs at it. The flashing light sequence continues and skyranch anthyging textual information morphs into readable english. He remembers being at the gory hole as innocent lives were taken. Somethign important must be there or about to happen, he moves his chair slightly turning his back on me as if I'm not even here. Our skyship/home an oversized oval ring with a four-story tall observatory protruding from it has been hovering over the same location for several hours now. These magnetic neareness warnings go off fairly often but I'm not complaining this means he gets distracted pretty easily. A progressive mid tier art gallery in a trendy section of beetriotle specializing in transluscultural fluidic modernism had been open and operating for just a few hours before it was randomly annihilated yesterday erasing the lives of 20 humans and 23 androgynous beings. Almost seemed like they were being targeted, but targets were not among the debris nor any recognizable body parts. Everything appearanted to have been vaporized. Enemy Agents? Turmoil of Zwordur Methodist Church faction? Maybe even unbelievers mercenaries? Known as the bridge of noise and surrounded by a metropolis, two statues were under construction yesterday now nothing but empty round pedestals of identical height. Atmospheric disturbance unusual for the time of day. I can see in his eyes that he is troubled by this event so I sit back tilt my chair and pretend to know nothing. But of all the things he could find interest in why this? There he first learns all of beetriot is laughing at triton arcage again for losing most of its citizens to a single weapon of mass destruction. It seems water is flammable terrifying. not even slunk defends his underfunded military insultingly claiming everything was just according to keikaku---military plan---and volunteerially offered no explanation at all. As he observes the details of a painting at show known as the triumph of the colored venus a bustling section of the city blows up. He counts exactly 2 seconds before the sound arrives. There were two reflections off the city walls before his ears detected the origin of the attack. Big buildings 50 yards to his right there is lots of thick grey stuff hanging in the air temperature has risen rapidly and there are flames on sides of nearby buildings. Knowing all this without even thinking he inaudibly shouts for everyone to take immediate cover and runs behind large marble barrier. That features a group of lesbian women of darker color trampling a pale woman or maybe a man with a shaved head. "Are you okay?", he asks her with concern on his face without looking at her. It hadn't occured to him that anyone else might have been close by until now. His ghostly helmeted head pivots to his right upon hearing her response. -----"Yes, but are you? You look half dead!" -----"Am fine, some soldier I am, getting old and slow" On the faces of a group of contempory news worthy white men carrying lots of camera equipment he recognizes the man he saved from execution yesterday. He was moving after all, I guess he was faking it. He closes his eyes for a few seconds until they are gone altogether and slowly gets up. -----"That was a pretty close call, I'm surprised you reacted so quickly." -----"Heh, I must be losing my touch too then, good thing..." By emerging twenty something artist cherp cherp quintuplets rush past him into the cloud of dust inspecting an 4 foot in diamater polished steel sculpture with attachment bolts flying towards them. Known for her delicate rococo style sculptures the smog turning golden by the sun reveals one of her famous twisted balusters. Otherwise known for being forever on the hunt for new material she was probably seconds away from being reduced to rubble just the same. Even regarding as an eyesore by many he lends a helping hand and takes a small detour. Always looking at your feet it has probably saved her life several times already so why would she accept his help if he tried again? He overhears saul saint nicodemous giving cherp cherp a critique of the piece which he knows would otherwise make her sad so waits. -----"I like it, but maybe move the middle one a little to the right?" -----"Ok"*snap*. -----"No, the other one.*sigh* That wasnt good either---oooo wait----let me help. With a group of other artist friends including a bullfighter, an owner of an erotica shop, a blonde painted girl and a famous male fictional character charging from all directions he waves them back for fear of getting trampled only after they refuse to listen. Perfect execution of an ideas persons suicide in the Gucci manner the sculpture has been perfect mounted on a pole with its own leg shattering it. "Excuse me an eye master I'm looking for Blim Blam would he be around" Katharsis gale the oldest of the group in mid fourties wearing various hats asks him with an engaging smile. "Errrrr... maybe moved in recently but I don't think he is in just now" -----"That's a shame I like his work so much....but I'll leave my card just in case. tell him, not to hesitate if he needs any thing." He says uplifting her spirits she beams brightly at him and waves as she walks away giving nick lazy eyes the entire time. Bransky bronze bright supermacy in her early thirties stand next to him and waits her turn. he remembers her paintings, not having been impressed by the subject matter of cute dumb superpowers though others found them amusing enough to frame and sell. He gives her a "go ahead" nod. -----"Looking for any available artist at this time?" -----"No!" -----"OK then...Word is you have been doing alot of writing lately?" Bransky and chirp standing sliently noding there heads in approval As saul saint goes on and on with bullshit language about destruction of the More nonsense on colonialism he dedicates more time destroying her ideas than praising them Then something incredible happens for once Chirp is second guessing SAINT's choices the verbal abuse he heaps of Blim-Blim. And everyone else. He disapproves of Blim-Blim's paintings, saying that while Blim-Blim might have a good eye (naturally, being an eye master) and an excellent grasping of color and shape, he hasn't got "anything to say" as an artist. An aspect of queer theory that has a giant middle finger up at the rules of heteronormative society. He says they can be sold if framed properly and placed in the right cafe, bar or hipster clothing store to attract the right demographic as easily as magnets. And other fashionable topics of art conflict and provocation that's prevalent in avant-garde places. Hopefully it garners some attention in his small once a decade show of retarded artist rejects sells nothing and passes into obscurity or sold to an idiot for over 5 times the price years later. Your very own degenerate art grant. During this time period you have been wanting to branch out with other ventures of your own as you start to resent SAINTS inclusion of All your publications in his book if he cant even help you get Blim-Blims art, website, connections and assistantship and your writings more noticed. At the end of the sanction you all gather for everyone to find out if they have been accepted or not, Anyone with a supermacy is clearly relaxed as they anticipate the results. You can sense the agitation of some of them who arent powerful enough to easily probe their minds. "Well, I've got the results, and I have some good news and some bad news," saint says, pausing for dramatic effect. Leaving the others shocked ,crestfallen oO( what....did my photo's not make it or what...damnit I knew the colors were too bright and obnoxious.. .) or gleeful "First, the bad news: You didniet get in. Now for the good news. You can all come in for free to see all the art at the exhibition this weekendand, ahem, leave your demos outside if you want!" While kat unable to control herself goes on a giggle fit super bradly focuses his eye beams on saul saint who feels the burn of a thousand suns intensified by 400 percent muttering angrily under his breath you all get up and leave one angry little man ranting as you all giggle like school girls at his bizarre sense of humor. some peoples kids "well that answers that, We're all going peashooting after this amazing art event that will no doubt solidify our social justice creative stronghold in this city" Saul and brankys backs away with out a retort in disgust and you spend your weekend having a great time and going through three bottles of peashooters were It was noted that hack had 9 kills with shrooms, kill coin flips to see who she shot, unhygenic had one, Yoona had two unfortunately Seline not at all Speaking of seline she asks if you will help her again next weekend The group heads for the wine bar wondering about the homeless nature of astral beings And wondering if he comes from the land of lixie dixie, a southern state mostly covered in stagnant water and thick forests. The dealer of gallery motions to cherp to come her way because she wants something You thank Yk TRACE : 0 There is no way around it. I need your help." "Oh? Well what can I do?" you respond. "I'm being sold," she scowls. Trace: 0 You initially think this is one of her usual dirty jokes, but her facial expression shows that she is quite serious. "Sold?" you clarify A collector is interested in buying her work, but he's requested that she be sold together with all of her equipment. The buy in for her includes her tools, sheet music, and instruments. Everything she knows is contained within that room, it would be impossible for her to go elsewhere without losing who she is. Although you're confident that she could easily create another identity elsewhere. Despite her mistrust of the new rulers of this barren realm, selling her seems like the easiest solution to this conflict.Tip: If you're logged in, your games are auto saved for you. You can find them by clicking "My Stuff"