#...this is a scary amount of words so if not. understandable :salute:

[sanchoyo]

i promise i will read the manga!! but um. well. now i’m just so curious i gotta know. just how blorbo can cara go. i wanna take a graceful step backwards and head-first into the rabbit hole. please i gotta know

- saguaro anon pt 2

(i promise it’s me again i swearzit. not that it isn’t easy to lie of course i just think that’d be the funniest thing in the world. there can only be ONE saguaro liker everyone pass the original anon message around the circle if you’d like a turn with the saguaro anon.)

(speaking of i’m chewing on the art of them. i love them so bad they make me wanna draw swords. obsessed also with the dichotomy of physical/spiritual prowess that contradicts a more common “pacifist priest” archetype through swords. still a very graceful way to slay but between that strength/faith dichotomy and their dichotomy with the queen’s science... it’s so evocative of a righteous paladin. but they are also so eepy.)

not u sending this right after I sent a friend a 10000+ word essay to a friend on discord abt cara. pls. the timing is incredible im bouncing cara around in my brain…

SAGUARO ANON!!! HI!!! (wait thats cute. naming urself as an enjoyer of them. my heart will explode fr thank u sm for enjoying my ocs ;_; u are the champion liker of them….this is ur burden to bear)

I mean, don't feel obligated to read the manga/watch the show(s)(either of them! still so happy we got a reboot 20 years after the original…) its just. would fill on context for Some Things (also is a gateway into magical girls if ur not already into them) and I always take a chance to rec it. but..I do try to make things understandable w/out it? I hope?

Cara…im trying to think of what I can say publicly abt her without spoiling her whole story. (I plan to probably make it a novel-sized fanfic and...with 2-3 illus per chapter…it works better as a comic, but the energy to do it + how little reception I got when I tried it…TwT </3) this got. erm. long. so under the cut? I dont THINK anything is TOO spoilery, but if anyone wants to wait until the story is actually being written, maybe skip this one :3c

ok so. my sweet caroline (ba ba ba) 'cara' testout-seebauer, (god what a good name)...… she's like. my wildcard character. full of surprises. full of anxiety. as someone who is also full of anxiety I can say sometimes getting too anxious makes people lash out, seem irritable. get this girl some noise-cancelling headphones tbh. she's also quiet, which, people around her misinterpret as 'oh shes brooding and mysterious' but she's 15. she's the Most 15 Year Old, and all that entails.

She, uh…let me just say she is about as aware as magical girl tropes as Mira is. she makes a point to declare herself as the 'dark magical girl rival' to Mira's heroine persona. which is totally a Normal Thing for anyone with Normal Motivations to say, obviously. (mira aggressively turns a blind eye to how absolutely weird that is because it fits with what she also wants, but other characters are even like, hey thats..questionable? why is a human working with the Aliens Who Want All Humans Dead?? you might ASSUME tragic backstory, but I Love Subverting Expectations. she has a pretty good family life!) she's not as much as an edgelord as this type of character should be in theory, but she IS dramatic 🤔

she's actually somewhat naive and makes the worlds most questionable judgement calls and has the worst sense of who to trust. she's a nerd. she speaks like 4 languages because she was moved around a lot up until she was about 13 and has lived in a handful of countries (if you ask her, she'd say shes american bc thats where shes lived the longest, but her dad is half british half japanese raised in japan and left when he was 18 for america, and her mother is afro-latina american. she strongly takes after her mom in looks but got her dads hair texture :> )

it's a running gag that she knows how to do an improbable amount of things and she always brushes this off her parents were very indulgent and she had a hard time sticking to anything. why does she know origami and karate and how to make balloon animals and ballet and sword fighting and art?? oh but she can only do the very basics of any of the various things, she's not like, outstanding at very many things admittedly and cannot commit to anything. she has...approximate knowledge of many things...It must be said, for the majority of the alien ocs I have...shes the first human theyve met. so u can imagine this gives them very skewed idea of how many things humans can do...

a lot of the characters n plots in tm2 are things I think were tragically underused and under-explored in tmm. in particular the things about her that I draw from are largely things from tokyo mew mew a la mode. (which as of now is free to read on archive.org and is only two volumes!! its the sequel to tmm ^_^...) anyway regarding that...there's a hint in her full name no one as picked up on yet and I shant say more on that. (...do people not pick up on certain naming schemes in tmm aside from the girls having food names? I dont know. this is one of those 'would only pick up on it if ur familiar w tmm things but! I dont even think ppl who HAVE read it have noticed yet.. tbf I only revealed her full name last year I think!)

all of the girls have symbolism with the animal dna they're infused with. cara's a snake. which is such a double sided thing. a lot of people are scared of snakes, lots of imagery of being two-faced or deceitful BUT also, like, 'transformations/rebirth' (shedding of the snake skin) and the caduceus!!! (hermes association, loosely :)) fun. her weapon being a shield + gramophone combo thing now reflects a lot about her too :)

shes SHORT. shes freckled. she cuts her own hair. shes objectively just really funny in a messed up way because everything is extreme when ur 15, its seriously so. just. shes so so so dramatic and gay, my god. its painful to watch. its painful to WRITE. rancid at just COMMUNICATING. she doesnt necessarily even want to be a magical girl its rotten work but my god she'll do it she DOES like the genre but she is so so scared and would probably rather NOT be doing more than like, cosplay. fighting things or people = scary. anxiety is real. but here she is! for some ungodly reason! eeey exposure therapy amiright fellow anxiety sufferers. queen put her and sapote together because sapote was the only alien whod volunteer to get infused and become a mew mew lol sapote is outgoing and queen figured this would offset cara's...*vaguely gestures* everything pretty well. and that sapote would be able to sus out anything cara might be hiding. queen knows sapote's smarter than expected and trusts her a lot cara and sapote are SUCH a funny duo 😭

cara is like. she has problems. and instead of solving them in any rational way she ends up creating 15 more severe problems about it. pitiful little meow meow mew mew

also I'm glad u enjoyed the lil doodle of them, had to toss them in after ur nice message :) (+I will take any excuse to draw or talk abt my ocs r u kidding. i love them)

replying to the very last bit of ur message abt our friend saguaro: WAAAA THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THAT THEY MAKE U WANNA DRAW SWORDS!! (do it. swords are fun to draw) u hit the nail on the head with: 'the dichotomy of physical/spiritual prowess that contradicts a more common “pacifist priest” archetype through swords. still a very graceful way to slay but between that strength/faith dichotomy and their dichotomy with the queen’s science… it’s so evocative of a righteous paladin.' the. understanding. the analysis. u are so correct. holding ur hand about this. thank u. thank u.

since u arent a tmm watcher/reader. I have to tell you. deep blue, their god? is the main final bad guy in tmm. we have SO SO SO little info about him. I had to make up so many stupid little headcanons surrounding him + the religion and what would possibly happen post-canon. which is only vaguely tangentially related but I have Many Thoughts. he uses a sword, so of course saguaro would Want To as well! and as far as 'gods' go, deep blue is. hm. a violent one. saguaro is incredibly nice! but is still a devout cult member follower of a violent god who they WILL spill blood in the name of. they WILL tell queen to her face that no, she should NOT be the leader, that should be someone who follows deep blue-sama! and they are only following her for a good view from the top to spot carry out his will, because surely deep blue guided them to be so skillful for a REASON, they MUST be useful to him when he finally reappears! and there is NO room for doubt in their mind he WILL. (jaws theme ominously plays in the distance)

queen and saguaro are both ppl who pride themselves on being civil and well-mannered, so you can imagine the sheer passive-aggressiveness in their convos. they're useful, they're probably the BEST swordsmaster, and they've proven to be very diplomatic and can bridge the gap queen sorely needs to with the other straggling deep blue followers, and queen isn't one to throw away a pawn, so she ultimately sees it as putting up with an annoyance for the greater good. (its not like deep blue could possibly return or anything! jaws theme sounds louder and closer)

everyone else in queens little upper posse thinks theyre super weird. …except cara! (we've come full circle!) because shes human! and! has no frame of reference! for deep blue related things! (well…at least, not in the way everyone else would've) shes dealt with like, mormons or thse door to door religious ppl, to her its like. whatever. same difference. saguaro isnt mean to her solely because shes a human like SOME people in queen's upper circle are. in fact, they're really actually very nice to her! and hey, she likes swords! and they have a calming presence, which is GREAT when u are a little shaky chihuahua abt everything.

I have this scene planned out where cara wakes up from a nightmare SCREAMING, sapote's room is right beside her and hey thats her little buddy so ofc she runs in. but cara wont talk to her, and sapote is like. kid I Am Not Leaving You Alone rn I Am Vaguely Worried and you need someone Adult Shaped to talk to. so caras like. whatever get saguaro then. and sapote is BAFFLED, but it makes perfect sense. because unlike sapote, they won't badger her or try and get her to spill anything, they won't try forcing her into a hug, if she asks them to just talk and distract, they're happy to. they aren't going to go spill her secrets and they CERTAINLY wont rat her out for saying anything untowardly about queen.

sapote accuses them of trying to yank cara into their little cult over this of course. kadskj

oops. thats a very long ramble about nothing very clear. I'm trying to be GOOD about not spoiling my own darn story, but the temptation to talk about it is so strong. I'm always super happy to share stuff on it and when ppl show interest it makes my heart explode. thank uuuu so much again TwT

[elliemarchetti]

The Snake and The Wolf

Prologue - High Lord

I wanted to say something to explain why I choose this POV and make up some kind of excuse as to why I choose to start this story like this but honestly, I just hope you have the patience to read the next chapters and understand the vision I had for @erisweek2023

Chapter 1

Words: 1.136

“Valkyries?” asked Feyre from across the dining table in the river house, fork half-raised to her lips. “Truly?”

“Truly,” Cassian confirmed, tasting the red wine served for dinner. He’d returned to the manor to discuss what to do with the weapons made by Nesta and learn what his High Lady’s vote about them would be. Although Rhysand was against it, she hadn’t hesitated before saying that her sister deserved to be informed of her ability and even volunteered to do so, but the General stepped in, saying he’d rather do it himself in due time. The only one who hadn’t voted was Mor, who remained in Vallahan to keep coaxing its rulers to sign the new treaty, her absence marked by a place of honour set for her at the table.

“We never heard of them in the human lands,” Elain said. She’d been as riveted as Feyre to hear Cassian’s story about the female fighters that sparked Nesta’s interest, and all in all she believed she would be at ease among such fearsome creatures.

 “Some were as lovely as you, at least from the outside,” recalled Rhysand from beside his wife. “But once they set foot into the arena they became as bloodthirsty as Amren.”

The little female lifted her glass in salute: “I liked them. They never let a male boss them around, though I could’ve done without their foolish king. He’s to blame for their deaths as much as the Illyrians who walked away during the battle.”

“I can’t argue with that,” Cassian said, and the light in his eyes dimmed, showing how long it took him to get over what happened. Maybe he had a lover within their ranks, it was easy to picture the Lord of Bloodshed falling for someone so brave and reckless, but Nesta wasn’t really like that. For years Elain though she was born on the wrong side of the Wall, but she was the kind of person who turned ballrooms into battlefields, not the one who plotted to claim as many victims as possible. For Nesta, people were just pawns and social events a chessboard begging her to play.

“And you were afraid of being rusty?” said a voice in Elain’s head, a voice that didn’t belong to the convivial scene in front of her but which soon had a face and a name to connect it to. “You’re a wolf in disguise.”

“Eris, dear, I may be getting older but age hadn’t yet affected my ability to remember names and hold grudges,” Nesta joked, the relaxed expression of someone at ease with her interlocutor. Her hair were longer but still braided in her usual fashion, a golden tiara adorned with topaz and Citrine quartz sitting on top of her head, perfectly matched with a sumptuous pair of earrings that made the dangling gemstones look like droplets of blood.

 “We should thank the puppeteer instead of wasting our time with the other High Lord’s retinues,” he suggested, reaching towards the wooden throne beside him. “No amount of nannies would’ve sufficed to distract Lethe and Limos long enough for us to finish if he didn’t show up with all those characters.”

“I just hope he memorized his fair share of legends, because they’re going to pester him from here to the Day Court,” Nesta replied, her eyes so full of love that Elain undoubtedly knew she was talking about her own children.

 “Do you think it’s wise to make them go on such a long journey?” Eris asked, his voice so low that Elain almost struggled to understand. He seemed worried, just like a father who wants to give space to his offspring but can’t put his preoccupations aside.

“Don’t underestimate how scary your mother can be. Besides, Elain and Lucien will always be with them,” Nesta reminded him before straightening her back again to address yet another meaningless stranger. The throne room of the Forest House was bustling with people, still more small groups of guests passed through the tall wooden doors to exchange a few words with the royal couple.

“High Lord,” a Peregryn greeted, bowing just enough to follow etiquette. “Wonderful ceremony, if I may say so.”

“I couldn’t have done even half of what you see if it weren’t for my Mate,” replied the eldest Vanserra, the sharp smile on his angular face suggesting that the Fae of the Dawn Court should’ve also paid his respects to his wife before anything else.

“Lady Death, your impeccable taste is renowned even in our villages,” the male added, turning his piercing eyes towards Nesta, who giggled at the nickname.

 “I love it when people call me that,” she said to her Mate, thus dismissing the cause of their interruption.

“Well deserved,” he murmured, bringing one of Nesta’s slander hands to his lips to give her a light kiss.”And I grow gladder of it with every passing day.”

“Could you two wait until you’re in a more private place? I already struggle to get used to the idea of having a brother, but seeing him kiss my best friend is a whole other level of mental gymnastics,” said a beautiful female, her eyes as blue as the Sidra’s water. Her hair were the same shade of red as Eris’s but she wasn’t a High Fae, probably some half wilder being like Nuala and Cerridwen.

“I can’t believe you made it here in time!” Nesta exclaimed, ignoring any semblance of appropriateness at the sight of the priestess.

“My studies are important, but never as much as the wedding of a family member,” joked the other, stepping aside just enough to study Nesta’s immaculate outfit. The deep orange brocade was more revealing than anything Elain ever saw her wear, and although the sheer sleeves and the deep neckline of the gown showed off her shoulders and cleavage, it wasn’t vulgar but ft  for her role.

“No luck with Azriel?” she asked, scanning the room half hopeful. The female shook her head, a delicate hand instinctively running to her neck, where a beautiful pendant Elain knew too well rested in the niche between her protruding collarbones. As if Eris sensed the disappointment in his Mate’s gaze, he approached, silent and graceful, to offer words of comfort.

“Maybe next time,” he whispered in her ear, and she nodded, leaning on his shoulder, as if seeking for support.

Elain’s eyes brought the present back into focus, where Azriel was studying her every move. Beside the Spymaster, no one else seemed to have noticed her sudden silence, Rhys, Feyre and Amren distracted by a new topic and Cassian lost in his thoughts. Elain pitied him: it didn’t matter how much Nesta bit, bruised or scratched him in the bedroom, she just wasn’t his. She belonged to someone else, like Elain belonged to Lucien.

[ray-ray-writings]

A Dedicated Pig-Technoblade

#3 and 47 from this prompt list! Check out my masterlist here! This is in the DreamSMP Au. I

This is a Technoblade x GN reader! 

So in this AU I am making it so that your cannon lives are shown on your left wrist. And if someone types something in chat or if someone joins the server, it appears as text on your right arm until you dismiss it! If you are confused feel free to ask me any questions!

Part Two! Part Three! Part Four!

Y/N finally meets the one that everyone has been walking on eggshells over.

Y/N’s POV

I will never forget the gasps, murmurs, and then tense silence that followed the notification that everyone received on their right arm. Technoblade had joined the SMP. I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal though. Of course I had heard the stories. The horrors that he had done. The fights he picked and won. The amount of blood that had been shed at his hands had earned him the title of “The Blood God”. But when push comes to shove, he’s just another mortal man.

Everyone was a little freaked out and on edge because of the new addition to the server. I mean, Schlatt had just banished Techno’s family, his two brothers, from the nation that they created and fought for. Everyone knew that family was everything to Techno and if there was one thing Techno would do anything for it was his family. He would literally go to hell and back if it meant that his brothers and his father were safe. 

Finally after a few minutes of everyone holding their breath, I scoffed, rolled my eyes, and went on with my work, cleaning up the election decorations. All eyes turned to me “Y/N” Niki hissed, “Do you not understand what just happened? He could be anywhere” I let out a joyless laugh as I looked at my best friend, “You really think he’s going to come here right away? With nothing on him? With his brothers on the run? You think he’s going to worry about coming here, where it would be a 1 vs…” My eyes scanned the crowd doing a quick mental count, “15 plus? Come on Niki, think with that big brain of yours.” I claimed, a little annoyed, as I took down a banner. 

Niki let out a shaky sigh but nodded and continued helping me. “You’re right,” I chuckled at her response and bumped her shoulder, “You know I always am”. Soon, everyone went back to their own tasks, forgetting the news we all had just received. ‘See Mr. Pig Man Blood God’ I silently thought to myself, ‘You’re not as scary as you may think’. 

*Time skip*

A week and a half had gone by since Technoblade had joined the server and no one had seen him. Like I had predicted, he immediately had searched and met up with his brothers and had stayed clear of the main part of the server. That being said, I should have known that he would rear his pink head at some point…

When I first joined the server, I had made myself a small farm for food. Well of course everyone found out about it and wanted a part of it. So my small farm grew and grew. When Niki built her bakery, she needed a steady supply of well… supplies. Sugar, wheat, eggs, milk, and all that. I had plenty and I was more than happy to give her what she needed in exchange for baked goods. So once a week I would haul boxes of supplies across the SMP from my farm to her bakery. 

Everyone was aware of this and so on these days everyone would stay out of my way. Which is why I was so surprised to slam into someone while carrying a box of eggs to the bakery. 

I let out a huge gasp as the sound of eggs cracking filled my ears as I slammed into someone. The box fell out of my hands as raw egg covered my hands and body. “What the hell!” I cried out, looking up to yell at whoever had just crashed into me. I was momentarily stunned. There in the flesh, right in front of me, stood the Blood God himself, Technoblade. My surprise  didn’t last long as I remembered why I was angry in the first place. 

“What the hell are you doing here? It’s bakery day, sure you didn’t know that, but you should have taken the hint not to be here when you didn’t see anyone walking this part of the Prime path!” I shouted at the pink haired man. Techno’s brown eyes widened as I verbally attacked him. “And now I’m covered in raw egg! This is not pleasant! It’s gross and sticky and cold and I do not enjoy it! You are sooooo lucky I have a change of clothes at the farm and that my chickens laid a lot of extra eggs this week or else you would have had to explain to dear sweet Niki why she wouldn’t be able to open her cute bakery this week.” I hissed out. 

“I’m sorry,” Techno began with a raised eyebrow, “Do you not know who you’re talking to?” He questioned with a deep voice. I let out a loud scoff at the audacity of his question, “Of course I know who you are, Mr. Blood God,” I mocked. “So. You do know who I am and what I am capable of.” I scoffed at his smug words. “I said I did, didn’t I? And frankly I couldn’t care less about you and your reputation. You’re just a guy. A guy that has ruined my day because I now have egg all over me!” I complained, wiping my hands on my pants. 

I reached down and began picking up the box and the eggs and egg shells that had fallen on the ground.“You know, I could kill you with no hesitation?” Techno claimed as he crouched down, moving his face close to mine. “I’ve done it before to many others. They blink and my sword has entered their chest. I’ve probably slaughtered more people than you’ve ever met in your life,” Techno mused, a smug smirk tugging on his lips. 

I looked up from my box with a blank expression on my face, “Am I supposed to be scared of you? Is that supposed to scare me? Make me shake in my boots?” I questioned, my eyebrow raised. Techno’s smirk slowly slipped off his face. He quickly stood up and stared at me in shock, “Didn’t you hear me? I could kill you!” He explained. I rolled my eyes and also stood up. “So could another human. Literally anyone else. So could a fall from a huge height. So could a dedicated chicken. You’re not special.” I stated, turning on my heel and began walking back toward my farm. 

“So you’re really not scared of me?” I heard Techno question as he began to jog to catch up to me. “Haven’t I made that clear? You may have scary stories and legends surrounding you, but when it comes right down to it, you’re a man. Well, part pig, part man, but a man and mortal all the same.” Techno let out a scoff, “Technoblade never dies,” he claimed. “But you could. You have three cannon lives just like the rest of us.” I concluded. 

Techno silently followed me as I moved through the barn, replacing the eggs that had cracked when we collided. After I filled the box once more, I set it down before stepping into the bathroom I had built. “I’ll be right out. Don’t touch anything.” I commanded. Techno gave me a mock salute before looking around the barn once more. I closed the door and quickly cleaned up. I took off my egg covered clothes, washed my hands and body before putting on the clean clothes I kept here. 

I found Techno where I left him. “You ready to go?” I questioned softly. His eyes trailed from my horses back to me as he gently nodded. I made my way back to the boxes before picking the egg box back up. “Is this going to?” Techno asked. I looked over and found him pointing at the last box needing to go to the bakery. “Yeah, but you don’t have to-” I was cut off by Techno picking up the box. “Let’s go” He said walking out the door. I let out a laugh before following him, being sure to close the door behind me. 

The two of us made small talk about anything and everything on our way to the bakery. Techno told me all about Wilbur and Tommy’s constant squabbles and I told him all about everyone’s wariness ever since he joined the server. Techno helped me put everything away, which caused me to be done a lot sooner than I usually get done. The two of us left the bakery and made our way back outside. We began strolling the prime path and subconsciously came to a stop where the two of us met. 

Our conversation died down and the two of us stood there for a moment, just staring at each other. I finally cleared my throat, “Thank you for helping me today. I really appreciate it.” I thanked, running a hand through my hair. Techno mirrored my actions with a shy smile on his face, “No problem. It’s the least I could do.” There was a slight pause before he spoke again, “Hey. Listen. I’m sorry for threatening you earlier. It’s just… Everyone I’ve ever met has been terrified of me and when you weren't… It really threw me for a loop. So… thanks. Thank you for giving me a chance.” I let out a giggle at his vulnerability, “It’s no problem…. Maybe when this is all over and you and your brothers are welcome back into L’Manberg, we could hang out more.” I offered. Techno gave me a soft smile and a gentle nod, “Yeah. I’d like that. A lot.” 

“Techno!” A voice whisper shouted. The two of us jumped at the sudden interruption and turned to look at who had called the pink haired man’s name. It was Wilbur. “There you are! Where have you been?!” He questioned, marching up to the two of us. Techno made a gesture to me. Wilbur’s eyes shifted to me. I gave him a smile and a wave. “Hey Wilbur. It’s great to see you” Wilbur’s eyes softened as he gave me a smile, “Hey Y/N. It’s so good to see you too. We’ve got to go. Techno was supposed to be on a spy mission, but I see he got distracted…” I laughed at his words and nodded. “Something like that,” Techno claimed, rubbing the back of his head a blush. 

“Well it was great to see you Wilbur. Tell Tommy I miss him and that I say to stop trying to decorate with things that aren’t his, yeah?” Wilbur gave me another soft smile and nod, “Will do Y/N. Tell Niki I miss her?” I returned his smile and nod. I then turned to Technoblade and gave him a smile as well, “It was lovely to meet you. I really hope this is over soon so I can show you my weapons collection.” Techno’s eyes lit up and he nodded. “It was amazing to meet you too Y/N. And I would love that. So much.” I giggled at his response and nodded. “I knew you would. Bye guys.” I gave them both one last smile before turning and headed back to my farm. 

As I was leaving I overheard the next part of Techno and Wilbur’s conversation. “So… Y/N huh?” “Shut up.” “Who knows, when this thing is all over maybe you’ll get together and have pink haired, Y/E/C babies… Oh I would be the best uncle and-” “I’ll give you a five second headstart.” “Oh come on Techno-” “Five” “Please” “Four” “Tech-” “Three” “You know it’s-” “Two” “Oh come on” “One” “OH GOD! RUNNING!” 

I let myself look over my shoulder at the two. Sure enough Wilbur was sprinting down the prime path as fast as he could, but Techno was right behind him. “Get over here!” Techno shouted after Wilbur. “NO!” I let myself giggle at the two’s antics. My eyes focused on the two for as long as I could, but soon enough the two were out of my view and my ear shot. Oh I can’t wait until this is all over. 

There you go! I hope you enjoyed! And I hope I did the anon that requested this justice! If you did enjoy, be sure to leave a like! And maybe even a reblog or reply telling me what you liked about it! Until next time!

[thefanficmonster]

Infatuation

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: It’s not a secret that Corpse prefers taking care of his hair himself rather than going to a hair salon to get it trimmed and/or tampered. However, he only has so much knowledge of how to properly do it without having to obliterate his budget. Luckily, his girlfriend comes to his rescue.

Requested by Anon. Hi lovely! Thank you so much for the incredibly fluffy request! I’ve been very pumped to write it and now here it finally is - so sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post it but I still hope you come across it and give it a read! Love, Vy ❤

“Um, what are you doing?“

I just walked into Corpse’s apartment to find him barricaded in the bathroom, giving himself a hair appointment. We were supposed to have a chill night in watching movies, but it seems to me like those plans will either have to be delayed or canceled, given the chaotic state both Corpse and his bathroom are in. I mean, how dumb was I to expect he was actually doing his hair justice when he told me he styled it himself? Why didn’t that immediately raise an army of red flags in my head and lead me to question his methods?

I’m honestly quite jealous of Corpse’s hair. It’s always so soft and silky and no matter how much or how little effort he’s put in it, it always looks good: either evidently carefully styled or boyishly messy, it leaves me with heart-eyes regardless. But to see him massacre it like this, it makes me wish I could report it as a crime.

“Ain’t obvious?“ He sounds rather frustrated and I feel at least slightly better due to this fact. He deserves to be as frustrated as I am by the sight of the crap he’s doing. “Sorry, you’re gonna have to wait for me for...a little while. I just need to get this under control and, um, clean the mess. Sorry for ruining your night like this, babe. I-I really wasn’t planning on it to take this long but I forgot to buy one of the products and I thought I could wing it without it but...I very clearly can’t so...“

“Please, stop talking. I don’t need to know what sins you’ve committed - if I do I’ll probably have to give you the silent treatment for like a week or so.“ I call out to him as I quickly skip over to the kitchen to leave the food I bought on my way over before returning to the bathroom and carefully taking a step inside, mindful of where there are hair strands on the tiles. Even severed, his hair is beautiful and I have a ton of respect for it - ok fine, I adore it. Corpse definitely doesn’t appreciate it properly. I walk over to the shower, reaching out to the two shelves inside which are lined with different types of hair products. “Oh fuck...“ I let out the whisper without even realizing it because I’m so stunned by the brands I see on those shelves. “Corpse, um, what the actual fuck?”

He turns to me, eyes wide and terrified because of my menacing tone. “What? What is it?” His gaze searches the spot where mine was just pointed at, looking for anything that could’ve provoked such a reaction from me. Seeing nothing but the hair products, he meets my deadly glare yet again, “What’s wrong?”

Alright, this man-child needs some serious help

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong.“ I say, stomping towards the exit of the bathroom, “You’re gonna stay here and wait for me to come back and don’t you DARE, even touch your hair, let alone bring a pair of scissors or any chemical near it. Copy?“

“Copied and pasted, ma’am.“ He salutes me, knowing better than to ask questions when I enter my commander role. There are quite a few things that set me off into this bossy-ass persona, and hair mistreatment is most definitely one of them. Thing is, Corpse doesn’t know that. Well, he didn’t know that, pretty sure he’s guessed it by now.

Feeling myself soften at his obedience and trust, I give him a smile and a wink over my shoulder as I go to grab my bag and leave the apartment to complete my mission, “Good boy.”

                                                              *  *  *

“Isn’t that a lot better?“ I ask, gently running my fingers through Corpse’s freshly cut, washed and dried hair. I’ve spent a good five minutes just smoothing through it with my fingers. I bet he’s expecting me to say ‘my precious‘ at any moment now, and trust me it’s tempting, but I still don’t, I won’t give him the pleasure of predicting my actions. Wow, we’ve really reached that level of being familiar with one another that I predict that he’s predicting what I’m gonna do next. While I’m a guessing game for him, I tend to think of myself as more of an open book. You just gotta be fluent in the language it’s written in to understand it.

I’ve gone off-topic, my bad.

“Yeah, you’re a lot less scary now.“ He tells me, his hand finding mine in his hair and taking it to his lips to place a kiss on my knuckles.

We’re positioned so that we’re in front of the bathroom mirror with Corpse seated in a chair in front of me and I’m for once in my life towering over him from behind. Our height difference was threatening to be a hinderance in my work on his hair, but we easily figured it out.

I can’t help but laugh, “You know what I meant.“ I curl one of his already curly strands around the pointer finger of the hand that’s still wandering around the soft dark curls while the other remains in his gentle hold, resting on his shoulder.

“And you know what I meant.“ He shifts in his seat to look at me directly, not via the mirror, “Since when do you have a hair infatuation?“

I roll my eyes and retract my hands, defensively folding my arms over my chest, “It’s not an infatuation with hair, dummy. It’s an infatuation with your hair.” I correct him, doing quick work of styling the stray strands that fall over his forehead and eyes. “I really like your hair, you already know that. I can’t handle the thought you’re doing such a shitty job taking care of it.”

He shrugs, furrowing his brows, “Hey, I was buying top-shelf products, cost me a fortune every month, my hair was being treated like royalty.”

I roll my eyes once again, “High price doesn’t always equal high quality, Corpse. Did you ever stop to read what was in those products?” I don’t let him answer, I don’t need him to confirm what I already know. “Even if you did - which you didn’t - you wouldn’t know what each of those ingredients do to your hair. You see, taking care of hair, especially hair like yours, takes patience and knowledge. It’s practically an art form. It’s not like you can just buy any product that has ‘suitable for curly hair’ on it. There’s a lot more to that.”

It’s only after I finish my monologue that I realize he’s looking at me with amazed amusement in his gaze, almost like a parent listening to their kid talk about their wish of becoming an astronaut. “Since when do you know so much about hair? You’ve been using the same shampoo and conditioner since I know you and now you wanna lecture me on hair care?”

I raise an eyebrow at him, exasperated by his stubbornness on the matter, “Who said being consistent with your hair products is a bad thing? You know, frequent changing of brands has the potential of being damaging as much as aiding.” I explain with the most amount of patience I can muster, now taking over the parent role myself, “And as for your previous question, I know so much because my mother is a hairdresser.”

His eyes widen in surprise. I can practically see the gears in his brain turning as he tries to recall if I’ve ever told him this before.

“How come I don’t know that?“ He asks finally after a long moment of silence. “Why haven’t you told me?”

“You ask that as though I just tell you things like that on the regular. Did you also want me to drop the info that my dad’s a mechanic in passing conversation about video games? Cause that’s a little hard to shoehorn in....“ He cuts off my sarcastic rambling with a brief peck to the lips. He’s the only person allowed to shut me up, and only like that. Anything else will earn him either an earful or a silent treatment. 

Just kidding....unless...

“So, does that mean you’re continuing the family business?“ he asks when he pulls away, “I mean, you’re technically my personal hairdresser now.“

I furrow my brows playfully, “Wait, what? Since when?”

“Since I hired you approximately an hour ago.“ He beams up at me, satisfied that I’ve fallen in his trap.

“And what about my payment?“ I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.

He looks to be contemplating for a second before he stands up from the chair, taking my hand in his leading me out of the bathroom, “Well, each appointment you’ll give me a different price, Miss Y/L/N. But, considering today was your first day, I choose to pay you with dinner.“ He sends a wink my way, laughing when he’s met with an unamused expression on my part as I stop in my tracks, causing him to halt his movements as well.

“You really plan on paying me with the dinner I bought?“ I raise an eyebrow at him, freeing my hand from his so I can put both my hands on my hips for the complete 'I’m far from impressed’ look.

“Yeah...? Problem?“ He asks, faking nervousness and guilt as he closes the distance between us, once again returning to the default of towering over me instead of it being the other way around.

“Several actually. First of all...“ I raise my finger in the air accusingly, ready to go off but the arm that wraps around my waist and lifts me off the ground causes my words to die down, evaporating in a frightened squeal, “Corpse no!! Put me down!“

Of course, he ignores me, carrying me into the living room while I don’t know whether to thrash or stay as still as possible. 

Tsk, so much for gratitude

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[write-haikyuu]

Their s/o getting hit on during a game (ft. Miya Twins and Kita Shinsuke) | headcanon

ooh! what about miya twins + kita getting protective over fem s/o who came to watch them during nationals after she was flirted with by their opponent?

warnings: cussing, passive aggressiveness, shivers as you can imagine how scary an angry osamu may be 

Miya Atsumu

Among the three of them, Atsumu would probably have the biggest reaction if he notices someone trying to get at you. He can be short-tempered and snap with sharp words (especially if this happens in the middle of a game). He’s aggressive y’all. 

Remember Osamu said his mental age drops by half on the court? Well, when that happens, not only does Atsumu become annoyed by the opponent, but he’s going to want to make sure he gets both you and the opposing team’s attention to ensure that everyone knows who you are to him. 

“OI, Y/N! WATCH ME GET THIS SERVICE ACE OVER THAT RAT’S ASS” he shouts and waves over to you (he and Kita are definitely going to have a chat after this) 

He releases his anger through his plays. As if his serves aren’t deadly enough, Atsumu is going to somehow manage to specifically aim for said flirty opponent to make sure he gets smacked in front of you. 

After the game, when everything has mellowed out and Inarizaki takes the win, you will definitely be the first person he meets off the court. Forget his sports bag or his drenched sweat, He’s going to rush over to you and give you a big hug and smother you with kisses

If you’re the type to shrug off the flirter yourself, Atsumu would be so proud of you and just go on about his day

But, if the opponent somehow manages to have the guts to stick around you, Atsumu would get in between you two and confront him.

“Babe, what are you doing associating yourself with this loser?” (like literally, he is a loser because he lost lol) 

Yeah anyone would be scared to have to confront Atsumu in that state. At that point the team just kind of salutes to the lad and hopes he doesn’t walk home traumatized by Atsmu’s harsh words. :\ rip 

Miya Osamu

Osamu is cool-headed for the most part, but he can be quite territorial when he feels the need to be. He’s passive aggressive y’all. 

Of course in the middle of the game, he’s focused. But, if he noticed a scene where you’re being hit on by someone from the opposing team, his attention may avert to you (depending on the extremity of the flirting). 

He’s a little peeved, to say the least. If the opponent is flirting with you as he serves or literally in the middle of a play, you are damn sure that Osamu is going to make sure he spikes the ball into his face to the other side. 

He won’t explicitly show his emotions, but Osamu is a little jealous. His only way to control that is by winning and ensuring that the opposing team knows who he is. He might shoot a glare at the guy for a while, but that won’t ever distract him from his plays! 

When the game is over, win or lose, he’ll strut over to you and make it obvious that you’re with him! 

“Hey babe, did you see that spike I did near their #5?!” as he stares directly at their #5. 

or if the other player is still up in your face, he’s not afraid!!

“Fuck off” and proceeds to rest his arm over your shoulder and walk away 

He’ll hold you by the waist, show a little more PDA than he usually does, not because he’s afraid of other people catching your attention, but because he wants you to be reminded that he’s here with you and that no one can intervene that.  

Kita Shinsuke 

To be honest, I can’t imagine that Kita is the type to get jealous or feel insecure about something as trivial as this. 

Kita is a pretty mature person himself, so I’d imagine him being with someone who is either equally as mature, if not more mature than him. 

The amount of trust and transparency in the relationship is very well established.

If he notices someone is flirting with you, he’d trust that you’d know how to navigate the conversation to either show you’re disinterested or give the person a cold shoulder. 

He would honestly just mind his own business or check on you from afar (especially if it’s in the middle of the game).

However, being trusted and secure is completely different than being protective. If he notices that the other person is trying to actually touch you or get in any form aggressive with you (and your body language signals that you need help in any way) he’s right beside you, ready to defend you. 

“She already said she wasn’t interested. You should probably leave her alone if you know any better. Didn’t your mother teach you consent? No means No.”

For Kita, it’s honestly not a big deal so long as no one is harmed or hurt. He understands how to stay clam and gauge situations like these, and definitely won’t be afraid to take action if it comes to it. :) He loves you, respects you, and most importantly proud to be with you.

side note: can we just talk about how cute Kita looks in that picture????? He’s so??? fucking??? cute??? who the fuck let you exist this cute.... furudate-san SIR we NEED TO TALK!!!!

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About Loki (Season One)

(Sorry this is later than it should have been. I may or may not be experiencing burnout from reviewing every episode of the gayest show Disney has ever produced)

Salutations, random people on the internet. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Do you want to know what's fun about the Marvel Cinematic Universe? It is now officially at the point where the writers can do whatever the hell they want.

A TV series about two Avengers getting stuck in a series of sitcoms as one of them explores their personal grief? Sure.

Another series as a guy with metal bird wings fights the inner racism of his nation to take the mantel of representing the idea of what that nation should be? Why not?

A forgettable movie about a superspy and her much more mildly entertaining pretend family working together to kill the Godfather? F**king go for it (Let that be a taste for my Black Widow review in October)!

There is no limit to what you can get with these movies and shows anymore, and I personally consider that a good thing. It allows this franchise to lean further into creative insanity, thus embracing its comic roots in the process. Take Loki, for example. It is a series about an alternate version of one of Marvel's best villains bouncing around the timeline with Owen Wilson to prevent the end of the universe. It sounds like just the right amount of wackiness that it should be too good to fail.

But that's today's question: Did it fail? To find out my own answer to that, we're gonna have to dive deep into spoilers. So be wary as you continue reading.

With that said, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Loki Himself: Let's get this out of the way: This isn't the same Loki we've seen grow within five movies. The Loki in this series, while similar in many ways, is still his very own character. He goes through his own redemption and developments that fleshes out Loki, all through ways that, if I'm being honest with you, is done much better in six-hour-long episodes than in past films. Loki's story was already entertaining, but he didn't really grow that much aside from being this chaotic neutral character instead of this wickedly evil supervillain. Through his series, we get to see a gradual change in his personality, witnessing him understand his true nature and "glorious purpose," to the point where he's already this completely different person after one season. Large in part because of the position he's forced into.

Some fans might say that the series is less about Loki and more about the TVA. And while I can unquestionably see their point, I still believe that the TVA is the perfect way for Loki to grow. He's a character all about causing chaos and controlling others, so forcing him to work for an organization that takes that away allows Loki time to really do some introspection. Because if his tricks don't work, and his deceptions can't fool others, then who is he? Well, through this series, we see who he truly is: A character who is alone and is intended to be nothing more than a villain whose only truly selfless act got him killed in the end. Even if he wants to better himself, he can't because that "goes against the sacred timeline." Loki is a person who is destined to fail, and he gets to see it all with his own eyes by looking at what his life was meant to be and by observing what it could have been. It's all tragic and yet another example of these shows proving how they allow underdeveloped characters in the MCU a better chance to shine. Because if Loki can give even more depth to a character who's already compelling as is, then that is a feat worth admiration.

The Score: Let's give our gratitude toward Natalie Holt, who f**king killed it with this series score. Every piece she made is nothing short of glorious. Sylvie's and the TVA's themes particularly stand out, as they perfectly capture who/what they're representing. Such as how Sylvie's is big and boisterous where the TVA's sound eerie and almost unnatural. Holt also finds genius ways to implement other scores into the series, from using familiar tracks from the Thor movies to even rescoring "Ride of the Valkyries" in a way that makes a scene even more epic than it already could have been. The MCU isn't best known for its musical scores, partly because they aim to be suitable rather than memorable. But every now and again, something as spectacular as the Loki soundtrack sprinkles through the cracks of mediocrity. Making fans all the more grateful because of it.

There’s a lot of Talking: To some, this will be considered a complaint. Most fans of the MCU come for the action, comedy, and insanely lovable characters. Not so much for the dialogue and exposition. That being said, I consider all of the talking to be one of Loki's best features. All the background information about the TVA added with the character's backstories fascinates me, making me enthusiastic about learning more. Not everyone else will be as interested in lore and world-building as others, but just because something doesn't grab you, in particular, doesn't mean it isn't appealing at all. Case in point: There's a reason why the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise has lasted as long as it has, and it's not entirely because of how "scary" it is.

There's also the fact that most of the dialogue in Loki is highly engaging. I'll admit, some scenes do drag a bit. However, every line is delivered so well that I'm more likely to hang on to every word when characters simply have honest conversations with each other. And if I can be entertained by Loki talking with Morbius about jetskis, then I know a show is doing at least something right.

It’s Funny: This shouldn't be a surprise. The MCU is well-known for its quippy humor in the direct acknowledgment that it doesn't take itself too seriously. With that said, it is clear which movies and shows are intended to be taken seriously, while others are meant to be comedies. Loki tries to be a bit of both. There are some heavy scenes that impact the characters, and probably even some fans, due to how well-acted and professionally written they can be. However, this is also a series about a Norse god traveling through time to deal with alternate versions of himself, with one of them being an alligator. I'd personally consider it a crime against storytelling to not make it funny. Thankfully, the writers aren't idiots and know to make the series fun with a few flawlessly timed and delivered jokes that never really take away from the few good grim moments that actually work.

It Kept Me Surprised: About everything I appreciate about Loki, the fact that I could never really tell what direction it was going is what I consider its absolute best feature. Every time I think I knew what was going to happen, there was always this one big twist that heavily subverted any and every one of my expectations. Such as how each time I thought I knew who the big bad was in this series, it turns out that there was an even worse threat built up in the background. The best part is that these twists aren't meant for shock value. It's always supposed to drive the story forward, and on a rewatch, you can always tell how the seeds have been planted for making each surprise work. It's good that it kept fans guessing, as being predictable and expected would probably be the worst path to take when making a series about Loki, a character who's all about trickery and deception. So bonus points for being in line with the character.

The TVA: You can complain all you want about how the show is more about the TVA than it is Loki, but you can't deny how the organization in question is a solid addition to the MCU. Initially, it was entertaining to see Loki of all characters be taken aback by how the whole process works. And it was worth a chuckle seeing Infinity Stones, the most powerful objects in the universe, get treated as paperweights. However, as the season continues and we learn about the TVA, the writers show that their intention is to try and write a message about freedom vs. control. We've seen this before in movies like Captain America: The Winter Soldier or Captain America: Civil War, but with those films, it always felt like the writers were leaning more towards one answer instead of making it obscure over which decision is correct. This is why I enjoy the fact that Loki went on saying that there really is no right answer for this scenario. If the TVA doesn't prune variants, it could result in utter chaos and destruction that no one from any timeline can prepare themselves for. But when they do prune variants along with their timelines, it takes away all free will, forcing people to be someone they probably don't even want to be. It's a situation where there really is no middle ground. Even if you bring up how people could erase timelines more destructive than others, that still takes away free will on top of how there's no unbiased way of deciding which timelines are better or worse. And the series found a brilliant way to explain this moral: The season starts by showing how the TVA is necessary, to later point out how there are flaws and evil secrets within it, and ends things with the revelation that there are consequences without the TVA keeping the timeline in check. It's an epic showcase of fantastic ideas met with exquisite execution that I can't help but give my seal of approval to.

Miss Minutes: Not much to say. This was just a cute character, and I love that Tara Strong, one of the most popular voice actors, basically plays a role in the MCU now.

Justifying Avengers: Endgame: Smartest. Decision. This series. Made. Bar none.

Because when you establish that the main plot is about a character getting arrested for f**king over the timeline, you're immediately going to get people questioning, "Why do the Avengers get off scot-free?" So by quickly explaining how their time-traveling antics were supposed to happen, it negates every one of those complaints...or most of them. There are probably still a-holes who are poking holes in that logic, but they're not the ones writing this review, so f**k them.

Mobius: I didn't really expect Owen Wilson to do that good of a job in Loki. Primarily due to how the Cars franchise discredits him as a professional actor for...forever. With that said, Owen Wilson's Mobius might just be one of the most entertaining characters in the series. Yes, even more so than Loki himself. Mobius acts as the perfect straight man to Loki's antics, what with being so familiar with the supposed god of mischief through past variations of him. Because of that, it's always a blast seeing these two bounce off one another through Loki trying to trick a Loki expert, and said expert even deceiving Loki at times. Also, on his own, Mobius is still pretty fun. He has this sort of witty energy that's often present in Phil Coulson (Love that character too, BTW), but thanks to Owen Wilson's quirks in his acting, there's a lot more energy to Mobius than one would find in Coulson. As well as a tad bit of tragedy because of Mobius being a variant and having no clue what his life used to be. It's a lot to unpack and is impressively written, added to how it's Owen Wilson who helps make the character work as well as he did. Cars may not have done much for his career, but Loki sure as hell showed his strengths.

Ravonna Renslayer: Probably the least entertaining character, but definitely one of the most intriguing. At least to me.

Ravonna is a character who is so steadfast in her believes that she refuses to accept that she may be wrong. Without the proper writing, someone like Ravonna could tick off (ha) certain people. Personally, I believe that Ravonna is written well enough where even though I disagree with her belief, I can understand where she's coming from. She's done so much for the TVA, bringing an end to so many variants and timelines that she can't accept that it was all for nothing. In short, Ravonna represents the control side of the freedom vs. control theme that the writers are pushing. Her presence is necessary while still being an appealing character instead of a plot device. Again, at least to me.

Hunter B-15: I have no strong feelings one way or another towards B-15's personality, but I will admit that I love the expectation-subversion done with her. She has this air of someone who's like, "I'm this by-the-books badass cop, and I will only warm up to this cocky rookie after several instances of them proving themselves." That's...technically not B-15. She's the first to see Loki isn't that bad, but only because B-15 is the first in the main cast to learn the hidden vile present in the TVA. It makes her change in point of view more believable than how writers usually work a character like hers, on top of adding a new type of engaging motivation for why she fights. I may not particularly enjoy her personality, but I do love her contributions.

Loki Watching What His Life Could Have Been: This was a brilliant decision by the writers. It's basically having Loki speedrun his own character development through witnessing what he could have gone through and seeing the person he's meant to be, providing a decent explanation for why he decides to work for the TVA. And on the plus side, Tom Hiddleston did a fantastic job at portraying the right emotions the character would have through a moment like this. Such as grief, tearful mirth, and borderline shock and horror. It's a scene that no other character could go through, as no one but Loki needed a wake-up call for who he truly is. This series might heavily focus on the TVA, but scenes like this prove just who's the star of the show.

Loki Causing Mischief in Pompeii: I just really love this scene. It's so chaotic and hilarious, all heavily carried by the fact that you can tell that Tom Hiddleston is having the time of his damn life being this character. What more can I say about it.

Sylvie: The first of many surprises this season offered, and boy was she a great one.

Despite being an alternate version of Loki, I do appreciate that Sylvie's her own character and not just "Loki, but with boobs." She still has the charm and charisma, but she also comes across as more hardened and intelligent when compared to the mischievous prick we've grown to love. A large part of that is due to her backstory, which might just be the most tragic one these movies and shows have ever made. Sylvie got taken away when she was a little girl, losing everything she knew and loved, and it was all for something that the people who arrested her don't even remember. How sad is that? The fact that her life got permanently screwed over, leaving zero impact on the people responsible for it. As badass as it is to hear her say she grew up at the ends of a thousand worlds (that's an album title if I ever heard one), it really is depressing to know what she went through. It also makes her the perfect candidate to represent the freedom side of the freedom vs. control argument. Because she's absolutely going to want to fight to put an end to the people who decide how the lives of trillions should be. Those same people took everything from Sylvie, and if I were in her position, I'd probably do the same thing. Of course, we all know the consequences that come from this, and people might criticize Sylvie the same way they complain about Thor and Star Lord for screwing over the universe in Avengers: Infinity War. But here's the thing: Sylvie's goals are driven by vengeance, which can blind people from any other alternatives. Meaning her killing He Who Remains is less of a story flaw and more of a character flaw. It may be a bad decision, but that's for Season Two Sylvie to figure out. For now, I'll just appreciate the well-written and highly compelling character we got this season and eagerly wait as we see what happens next with her.

The Oneshot in Episode Three: Not as epic as the hallway scene in Daredevil, but I do find it impressive that it tries to combine real effects, fighting, and CGI in a way where it's all convincing enough.

Lady Sif Kicking Loki in the D**k: This is a scene that makes me realize why I love this series. At first, I laugh at Loki being stuck in a time loop where Lady Sif kicks him in the d**k over and over again. But a few scenes later, this setup actually works as a character moment that explains why Loki does the things he does.

This series crafted phenomenal character development through Loki getting kicked in the d**k by the most underrated badass of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's a perfect balance of comedy and drama that not every story can nail, yet Loki seemed like it did with very little effort.

Classic Loki: This variant shows the true tragedy of being Loki. The only way to survive is to live in isolation, far away from everything and everyone he loves, only to end up having his one good deed result in his death anyways. Classic Loki is definitive proof that no matter what face they have, Lokis never gets happy endings. They're destined to lose, but at least this version knows that if you're going out, you're going out big. And at least he got to go out with a mischievous laugh.

(Plus, the fact that he's wearing Loki's first costume from the comics is a pretty cute callback).

Alligator Loki: Alligator Loki is surprisingly adorable, and if you know me, you know that I can't resist cute s**t. It's not in my nature.

Loki on Loki Violence: If you thought Loki going ham in Pompeii was chaotic, that was nothing to this scene. Because watching these Lokis backstab one another, to full-on murdering each other, is a moment that is best described as pure, unadulterated chaos. And I. Loved. Every. Second of it.

The Opening Logo for the Season Finale: I'm still not that big of a fan of the opening fanfare playing for each episode, but I will admit that it was a cool feature to play vocal clips of famous quotes when the corresponding character appears. It's a great way of showing the chaos of how the "sacred timeline" works without having it to be explained further.

The Citadel: I adore the set design of the Citadel. So much history and backstory shine through the state of every room the characters walk into. You get a perfect picture of what exactly happened, but seeing how ninety percent of the place is in shambles, it's pretty evident that not everything turned out peachy keen. And as a personal note, my favorite aspect of the Citadel is the yellow cracks in the walls. It looks as though reality itself is cracking apart, which is pretty fitting when considering where the Citadel actually is.

He Who Remains: This man. I. Love. This man.

I love this man for two reasons.

A. He's a ton of fun. Credit to that goes to the performance delivered by Jonathon Majors. Not only is it apparent that Majors is having a blast, but he does a great job at conveying how He Who Remains is a strategic individual but is still very much off his rocker. These villains are always my favorite due to how much of a blast it is seeing someone with high intelligence just embracing their own insanity. If you ask me, personalities are always essential for villains. Because even when they have the generic plot to rule everything around them, you're at least going to remember who they are for how entertaining they were. Thankfully He Who Remains has that entertainment value, as it makes me really excited for his eventual return, whether it'd be strictly through Loki Season Two or perhaps future movies.

And B. He Who Remains is a fantastic foil for Loki. He Who Remains is everything Loki wishes he could have been, causing so much death, destruction, and chaos to the multiverse. The important factor is that he does it all through order and control. The one thing Loki despises, and He Who Remains uses it to his advantage. I feel like that's what makes him the perfect antagonist to Loki, thanks to him winning the game by not playing it. I would love it if He Who Remains makes further appearances in future movies and shows, especially given how he's hinted to be Kane the Conqueror, but if he's only the main antagonist in Loki, I'm still all for it. He was a great character in his short time on screen, and I can't wait to see what happens next with him.

WHAT I DISLIKED

Revealing that Loki was D.B. Cooper: A cute scene, but it's really unnecessary. It adds nothing to the plot, and I feel like if it was cut out entirely, it wouldn't have been the end of the world...Yeah. That's it.

That's my one and only complaint about this season.

Maybe some scenes drag a bit, and I guess Episode Three is kind of the weakest, but there's not really anything that this series does poorly that warrants an in-depth complaint.

Nope.

Nothing at all...

…

...

...I'm not touching that "controversy" of Loki falling for Sylvie instead of Mobius. That's a situation where there are no winners.

Only losers.

Exclusively losers.

Other than that, this season was amazing!

IN CONCLUSION

I'd give the first season of Loki a well-earned A, with a 9.5 through my usual MCU ranking system. It turns out, it really is the best type of wackiness that was just too good to fail. The characters are fun and likable, the comedy and drama worked excellently, and the expansive world-building made me really intrigued with the more we learned. It's hard to say if Season Two will keep this momentum, but that's for the future to figure out. For now, let's just sit back and enjoy the chaos.

(Now, if you don't excuse me, I have to figure out how to review Marvel's What If...)

[shadow--link]

List of things that I don't get because Ganon sucked as a 'parent' and I hate humans but the list gets more concerning the more you read it

uh tw this is kinda a vent

1: People liking 'toe beans' What is so cool about an animal's feet grippers. and like, I saw them on a fersona and they had human hands..that is very imprracticall..just..why

2: Calling things cute. it fucking makes me sick. I hear it so much I wanna burn something. Like people calling a shirt cute and the shirt is one piece of a cloth that barly covers their breasts. No. It's not cute, it's gross.

3: Sticking your tongue out trying to be cute/sexy The amount of rage that boils inside me when I see someone stick out their tongue is insane. I feel so fucking pissed and I don't know why. I wanna punch them in the face and rip out their tongue then burn it.

4: People that I look up to liking something I know shit about I feel bad that I don't know this thing you really like and I wanna relate with you but if all you talk about is this thing I know nothing about I feel dumb and stupid like I wanna cry and why am I your friend when we have nothing in common..I just feel bad and I hate it and I don't know why.

5: Not knowing 100% of a hyperfixation Like I kinda enjoy the DreamSMP but there's things in it that I don't know..it took me weeks to figure out what o7 meant (it's a salute) and like EVERYONE knew what it was and I didn't and I felt like a fake fan cause I don't know what this thing is and it's CLEARLY IMPORTANT but I don't know what it is cause I joined the fandom late and now I'm the stupid one

6: any word that ends in 'isum' Like... "oh nooo the people that have more meletonin then me are evil" the fuck. Why is that even a thing. "Oh no, person have boobie and coochie. Person stupid. I have penis. I smart." why. Y'all are all Hylians. Just..fucking GAH stAHP with it. It makes no sense. What's so bad about someone being a different colour then you? IT'S A FUCKING COLOUR GUHHHHHH also "oh no man kissed another man the world is gonna end." Why. THey're just kissing. I don't..H

7: I can't remember shit for shit Why is forgetting things a thing. I hate it. SOmetimes I can't remember what my favorite "insert noun here" is! Like someone will ask me "Hey what's your favorite food??" And I don't fucking know! WHY DON'T I FUCKING KNOW?? IT'S mY FAVORITE FOOD! I SHOULD KNOW THESE THINGS! But I don't.. like, I think it's sushi.. but now that I think about it, sushi is kinda gross. So it could be pizza.. but.. ok there's nothing bad about pizza, but..I sound like a dumb little kid saying that..

8: I'm close to being an adult Ganon forced me to grow up from a young age. I don't remember my childhood..probably because I didn't have one. Man, this thouht hurts the most.. I've been forced to mature far before I'm ready..I'm still 15..I'm still a kid...but no, I'm almost 16 and at 16 I HAVE to get a job or I'll just be sitting around the castle like a worthless sack of fleash... and well, I am in a batter situation now, I'm living in the castle with Link and his family.. no longer with abusive Ganon.. but Link's Dad is still scary when he yells...and he expects me to work when I'm 16 and to stop mooching off of him in my mid 20's...but... I don't feel like I'm ready.. I can't function on my own... I really can't...and..I finally worked up the courage to tell Zelda that.. but Link's Dad heard me say that, and he said "So I've failed you? It's my job to prepare you for the outside world!"..or something like that.. it made me feel so upset.. I ran out of the room and fled to my bed to cry, and wanting to die.. I'm not suicidal. I'm scared of death. But in that moment..I really wanted to die.

9: Talking about feelings I never vent. This is like the 3rd time I've vented. Besides in Among Us. hheh, sorry. I couldn't help myself..humor is how I cope with stuff. Guess I now understand why the 'funny friend' in memes is portrayed as sad when alone..cause at the end of the day, that's what I am. Alone. with no one to talk too. Guess that's why I went back to this blog to vent.. Link might see this and talk to me, though. And I know Vio will be talking through him. Just hope he doesn't scold me about putting this on Tumbler lol........what was I saying.. oh right.. talking about feelings is hard for me. When I was young, before Ganon stole me from my homeland, I was always an outcast. The one time I went to school, everyone hated me. Now that I look back, it's probaly cause I have autism and ADHD. Well, I might have them. Not diagnosed yet. But Me and Zelda have done the reasurch. A tone of it. And there's no way I'm nerotypical. But anyway. No one wanted to be my friend when I was a child. Probably why Ganon took me away. I wouldn't be missed. And I wasn't. Only a few remembered who I was when I returned to Lorole after breaking the mirror. I spelled that wrong but don't care. And the friends I made as a kid...I couldn't find them..and any friends I did make...man..I was such an asshole towards. I.. was transphobic towards this one friend...I feel so bad about it. I hate how I used to act. I hate it. I fucking hate it so much I just wanna- no. that's not me anymore. No more killing.

10: The medical system Why do ya gotta wait years to get diagnosed for mental disorders. WHy do you gotta be an adult to get trans uh helping surgery. Why do ya gotta wait till 16 to get on hormone blockers. THEY AIN'T GONNA BLOCK SHIT NO MORE, I ALREADY WENT THROUGH PUBORTY AND IT ENDED AT LIKE 14 FOR ME!... at least my chest is small. I am so greatful that my chest is small and can be hidden in a bif shirt. "bUt ShAdOw LiNk, YoU'rE a BoY" well I'm glad you think that, asshole. SOmetimes, when a Lohian/shadow/shade is born, they're the oppaside of Hylians, right? Well, sometimes the gender is reversed as well..so...Link is male, I was born a female. Hada stupid ass name that sounds like raw-vio lmao. But I didn't like that. So I changed..I.. wanted to be Link, but different.. so I called myself Lync, cause that looks cool. But Ganon was like "No, that sounds like Link, and he's an asshole. Don't call yourself Lync." So he called me Shadow Link.. and well, that's the only thing Ganon has done to me that I don't hate...but now that I think about it, I kinda relate to the Lohian god Loki and wanna call myself that instead. But anyway..when I failed at anything, Ganon would call me by my deadname. I hated it.. when I would win, he would call me Shadow Link. And I started to hate my deadname...now I hate it cause it's too girly. Reminds me of the old old me. I think I got off track. oh well.

this had been a list of shit that pisses me off. There might be more to add to this but I'm sad, it's late, and I don't want Link yelling at me. Goodnight.

[toysoldiers-rwby]

[CS] 6. Conflict

Cutting Strings

Characters: Team APCX, Winter Word Count: 7k

Somethings never change. Even if it’s new to Penny.

Read on Ao3

PREV - NEXT  

  Error: Enemy Unknown  

Neon’s frustrated voice rang around the Gym. “Reese! She closed shop to help you and Nadir study!”  

“Yeah but Aro can be really scary!” Reese argued. “We still have like two weeks till Haven officially starts…”  

Penny slowly tunned their voices out. Ciel and Penny arrived 30 minutes ago. May was there again and she challenged Ciel to a sparring match. Ciel declined, her shift was about to start but Neon begged her for the hours. Neon’s reasoning that training with a Huntress was more valuable than lien convinced Ciel.  

Penny joined their warm-ups to burn some excess energy her upset Aura was generating. It helped a little but it would take a real fight to exhaust her. Then she spent five minutes of watching the Huntress play around with the officer-in-training and an unknown amount of time slumped against the table drawing aimless shapes on the wood as little Billy tried to ram into her finger.  

Another discovery Penny had made was that she needed a routine. Previously her days was scheduled to optimize both her father and Ironwood’s time. But now that she was free to explore Atlas- and Mantle as long as Ironwood doesn’t know, she had to make her own schedule. This past week she’d work on Billy, the now fully repaired miniature robotic goat with limited functionality! At night she’d visit Ciel and they’d relax at the Officer’s Gym.  

But tonight was a little different. Xanthic had finished her assignment from Ironwood… Then Winter escorted her back to her quarters. Four hours ahead of routine. She didn’t argue or fight, just stared at Winter and Penny…  

“Oh!” Penny gasped. Billy had determined her nose as new challenger and rammed into her. She giggled and picked him up, “Alright, Billy. It’s bed time.” She said. Pushing aside the cover on his back she pressed the sleep button. Billy’s charge slowed to a trot and eventually a complete stop. His head shook, metal ears stiff in the air when they should be flopping around. Tinny rubber hooves dug into Penny’s hand so lightly her sensors didn’t recognize it.  

Winter didn’t need to isolate Xanthic. They could have worked on this little robot together. She wanted to have it updated to perform simple tricks and vocal commands. Penny was curious to see her Father and Aro’s reaction.  

“That’s so cute I think I have cavities,” May muttered. She grunted as Ciel finally got a punch in. “You little!” May practically growled. She feinted a jab then dove in a low tackle. Ciel’s back slammed into the mat as her legs were pulled out from under her. Once taken to the mat, Ciel was quickly put in a lock and forced to tap out.  

Ciel lay there, exhausted and breathing hard while May barely broke a sweat and effortlessly jumped to her feet. “Huntresses are insane…”  

“We are superheroes!” May said with a large smile. It faltered slightly when Penny couldn’t match that energy. “Something biting at you Penn?” Penny tilted her head and looked around. Her false skin wasn’t sensitive so if something was biting her she didn’t feel or see it. May laughed and shook her head. “What’s on your mind? You’ve been acting sad all evening…” Her voice drifted off, posture completely slacking. She thickly swallowed and that definitely triggered Penny’s interest.  

Before Penny could turn around a pale green hair flew past her. Aro stood a few feet from May. She was grinning, ears to excited to stay hidden and fluttering up and down. She had an excited bounce and tiny flaps of her arms-  

“Aro!” Penny’s mind nearly shorted. There might have been several warnings about velocity and weight but all that was registering was her friend was finally back. Her processors fired several simulations about how easier the week would have been if Aro was there to smooth conflicts or to infect her with her cheery attitude.  

“Hi Penn!” Aro yelled back, grunting as the women tackled her. They didn’t fall to the ground but floated long enough for Aro to get her footing again. Penny was hugged tight. That comforting feeling of pressure back in greater force. Penny giggled burying her face into her future teammate’s shoulder. She wanted to go back to the drinks with Winter and May or even the trails General started her with. She was built for the stress of combat not… whatever she was feeling righ tow. Aro set Penny down and looked at May again. Her grin was bigger, undeterred by May’s indifferent, almost glaring expression. “Hi.”  

“Salutations,” May drawled, voice dead and voice of any emotion. She crossed her arms and waited for Aro’s energy to calm a little. It had the opposite effect and she only squeezed Penny tighter. Penny giggled as Faunus ears tickled her fake ones. Apparently they were sensitive and sent a Morse code of sensation confusing her processors. May sighed at the cute display, “I’m still mad at you.”  

“I deserve it,” Aro said only a hint of seldom and guilt in her voice. “I know it’s not showing now- I really missed you.”  

A blush flashed across May’s face for a second. The Huntress groaned slapping her head. Then held her arms open and Aro jumped into them. Arms wrapped around her neck and face buried into the crook of her shoulder and neck.  

“I hate you sometimes.”  

“Sometimes I deserve it,” Aro said.  

Penny giggled from the side. If this was how they resolved their conflicts how did they end up fighting in the first place?  

“Ugh. Get a room,” Ciel groaned from the floor. Aro snorted. She separated from from May and threw her head back laughing. It shamelessly echoed around the basement.  

It was then she understood why May paused, so surprised. Aro wasn’t dressed in her boiler-suit, wasn’t covered in grease. Sweat, or Dust. Penny knew Aro own a successful weapon and Dust shop. But it was difficult to actually see her as a businesswomen.  

Her high class suit rivaled Winter’s casual outfits. Penny’s eyes were particularly drawn to the pin on her tie and collar. Aro’s dull eyes were framed by glasses… May caught her staring and smirked. Penny flustered, a surge of Aura generating too much heat. While she couldn’t blush Penny felt it the hot air rise to her face and she huffed out cloud of steam.  

Aro stomped on the floor, a bright glow of purple slowly levitating Ciel up. The student was floundering. Her legs kicked out wildly for footing only to be upside down. Penny wasn’t fond of the sensation either, so she quickly helped Ciel upright. Aro gently turned off the Dust. Ciel looked more disheveled by the gravity Dust than the sparing.  

“Never. Again.” The officer-in-training said, as if the order would stick with the anarchist.  

“No promises,” Aro sang. She looked at May with a guilty and open expression. “I was waiting for Xanthic’s okay to come back.” May’s quick temper flared again. A fierce scowl and a trembling fist instantly set Penny on alert. She took a deep breath. She’s spent more time with Ciel and May these past few days and trusted that peaceful experience rather than her sensitive protocols. It was a little slow, but May slowly relaxed and nodded at Aro to continue. “A mutual contact told me Xanthic disappeared.”  

Penny frowned. That was… true? She pushed her processors trying to analysis the situation from a different perspective. It was difficult, trying to think of false information and incorrect functions. Chances were high only the Ace-Ops and Winter knew about Xanthic’s whereabouts. The hacker was taken by surprised, so she couldn’t call for help. Did she even have anyone that would help her?  

May frowned and crossed her arms. Penny didn’t know if she was pleased or alerted, that indifferent mask was on her face again. She liked the smile better.  

“Since when were you and Xanthic talking?”  

Aro made sure to hold eye contact with May. Her dull eyes were sincere… and not glowing! Her semblance was off! Aro’s entire energy seemed a little muted but much more earnest, “Almost two weeks. Since she found out Ironwood is trying to puppet us.” May closed her eyes, fighting off another outburst. She took a deep breath. Penny added a reminder to ask Aro about her history with Xanthic. Judging from May’s expression it wasn’t good.  

“I want to punch you in the face.”  

Aro didn’t even flinch at that but Penny did. Was… this common? Is this how friends behaved? “I deserve it, but we need to find Xanthic first.” May visibly blanch and deflate.  

“I know her current location,” Penny said. Her voice sounded too seldom but. She was oddly worried about a women that was far too aggressive. Somewhere deep in her programming told Penny it didn’t matter. “She’s under house arrest at the my father’s Facility. Are we helping her escape?” She asked quietly.  

“Depends,” May said quickly and harshly, “Does she really need saving?”  

“I think so,” Penny said. She hadn’t notice it at first because Xanthic was working but General Ironwood had placed her in near complete isolation. Alone, no socialization, no freedom… “Kidnapping. Isolation. Forced Labor. Forgery.” She listed, flinching at each word. She was sure General Ironwood had a good reason, but was also understanding Xanthic’s precautions. May and Aro didn’t seem surprised at the list but Ciel was deeply skeptical and glared harder at every word.  

“Kidnapping. Don’t you mean arrested?” Ciel asked. “She was guilty of hacking Atlas’ system!”  

“Then she would be in prison, not a military research facility.” Penny reasoned. They had to return Xanthic’s home to bring necessities Atlas provided in prisons. She still didn’t know if she enjoyed Xanthic’s company but it often lead to Winter assisting her. Seeing her almost made the fights between them worth it. “Ms. Xanthic is crass, aggressive, and enjoys challenging authority.” Ciel stared hard while May and Aro nodded. They both looked like they wanted to add more but refrained from doing so. “She was oddly compliant and docile with Winter today.”  

Aro popped her lip, brows raised high. “Isolation… with Win?” She asked slowly. She looked at May with a pleading stare, “You know Xan doesn’t handle both of those things well.”  

“If she doesn’t want to be lonely she should try being nice!” May said. Aro snapped her jaw shut. Her semblance must be active again because the usual bright blue glow returned, pupils flaring white. “I like you better with Focus off.”  

“And I’d like your support.” Aro snipped back. “You don’t need to help but I’m not letting Ironwood get away with this.”  

“Breaks people!” Ciel yelled. "We are not infiltrating a military facility."  

Aro smirked arms crossed in a way that strained her suit across her large arms and shoulders. “Infiltrate? You do realize you’re talking to a businesswomen.” She gestured to her suit. This time Penny caught May admiring it, a bit reluctantly. The Huntress huffed, trying to act frustrated rather than flustered. Penny giggled at the bravado.  

They took the elevator up to the roof where Aro had parked her airship. Two more Huntresses sat atop of it and one jumped down when they saw the group.  

“Salutation!” Penny didn’t instantly recognize the voice so she wasn’t Atlesian Military. The distinctive Faunus ears and excellent record identified her as Fiona Thyme. She grinned running up to Penny and shoving May aside even though she had her arms open for a hug. Her partner Robyn Hill, laughed so hard she almost fell off the airship on her descent. Fiona grabbed Penny’s hand and shook it, “I’m Fiona, it’s a pleasure to finally met you!” She said. “Aro and May are constantly talking about you.”  

Penny gave Aro a curious glance and she simply raised a brow. Her eyes flickered before she talked in a voice that was too smooth and perfect, “She’s lying.” The liar said. Penny and Fiona glanced at each other a knowing look and shared a giggle.  

“It is a pleasure to meet you too!” Penny grinned, “I have to admit it’s nice not having to look up so much…” Ciel and Fiona was around her height. Aro was surprisingly short when she stood next to May and Winter. It was her horns brought them closer to height.  

“Right?! These assholes should treat us to a good chiropractor.” Fiona covered her mouth as if she was whispering, but Penny was sure she purposely increased her volume.  

“You brat!” May grumbled picking Fiona up and throwing tiny Huntress over her shoulder. Fiona only laughed and playfully tried to break free. Ciel looked hesitant but followed Penny into their future teammates’ transport. The inside looked like a luxury cruiser, two sofas pointed at an entertainment system with a hard-light table disappearing from the center. The rather happy group of huntresses already took a sofa catching up on this week’s events.  

“Someone actually tried to mug us in Vacuo,” Robyn said. “Aro accidentally drew blood and then fainted on the spot!”  

May rolled her eyes, “Dressed like that and in this airship? I’m surprised you didn’t get shot down.”  

“With what artillery?” Fiona asked.  

Ciel made her way to the front. She didn’t take a seat on the sofa but hovered at the cockpit door. Penny decided occupy the co-pilot seat next to her future-teammate.  

“You two are idiots.” Ciel said with a sigh. “You’re actually going to talk him into releasing a dangerous criminal?”  

“You sure you trust an idiot to fly an airship?” Aro said with a large grin up at her. Ciel frowned. She didn’t look nervous and didn’t look at the door. After a few seconds Aro finally lifted her personalized transport off the building.  

“Aro has one of the best records for nonmilitary pilots!” Penny informed. That seemed to eased Ciel but she didn’t sit down.  

The ride was short and easy, so Aro entertained herself by giving Ciel a brief overview of the console. It didn’t match any specs that Penny knew so she suspected she personally built it. As they finally reached the floating city Atlas Command tried directed Aro to dock at the Academy. The ships audio-to-text was instantanious and the hard-light words hovered above the dash. Aro weighed her options. But with one looked at Penny, she confidentely veered off course.  

“Actually I think Dr. Pietro is holding something important for me.” Aro said. May loudly gagged, then grunting in pain as two loud smacks stopped her.  

“M-Ms. Glade!” The military personal stuttered.  

“Very confidential,” Aro said drawling out the words with a grin. “I was his protégée, I still help every now and again. You know how it goes.”  

“General Ironwood-” Aro turned off the speech-to-text. Penny remembered where the volume was and turned that down for everyone else.  

Before Ciel could scold her, they finally sored above the smog and factory smoke. For a second, Ciel looked amazed. Then it was replaced by scowl. Penny spent enough time with her to recognize that analytical look. Her eyes darting from bright tower to hard-light banners and even the robots that waited patiently for their owners. Penny flinched.  

“Wow.” Ciel scoffed. “So much for hard-light Dust being rare. One percent of the excess funds here could help the hospitals and miners- Ugh.”  

“Welcome to the Atlas sucks club!” May cheered from the back. Penny frowned. Was it really that bad? “Hard to see the bullshit they are pulling from below.”  

Aro landed the ship on the roof and Penny’s Scroll granted the group access. Ciel tried to talk her way into staying on the ship but Aro and Penny convinced her not to. She would be alone, technically trespassing on Military property.  

“It’s best if you stay with me,” Aro said. Her tone was a little different. Leveled and practiced in a way that reminded Penny of Winter. Then her sensors picked up on something, or rather the lack of noise. Penny glanced at the back to see the Huntresses looking uneasy. Aro only smiled and laughed, “I’m a pretty good distraction.”  

“Hm. For the record I was kidnapped,” Ciel muttered.  

“Records Xanthic is able and willing to alter,” Penny reminded.  

When the elevator opened to the main floor, General Ironwood and a small entourage was awaiting for them. Specialist Winter stood, poised like a soldier but lacking any real conviction. She nearly broke rank when she saw Penny. Her eyes locked on to hers far too long and Penny could only smile back. She hoped it was comforting because it felt sad. Almost guilty. Vine Zeki and Marrow Armin stood behind her. Vine was the only real image of an Atlesian soldier, Marrow looked conflicted, tail almost between his legs.  

These operatives were ideal for crowd control.  

If a fight broke out, the battle would hinge on Marrow’s Stay and Ciel’s Clockwork, perhaps even Aro’s Dust abilities. He was a newest Ace-Ops member so statistics was still off, in theory he could Stay a group. But one of this size as well as three Huntresses would be a challenge. Penny would be able to fight off Winter’s summons- Penny shook her head. She should not be strategizing against the military.  

“Welcome back, Ms. Glade.” General Ironwood greeted. His tone was as cold and welcoming as the steel they stood on.  

Aro on the other hand kept her playful persona, “You didn’t even bring my favorites,” Aro said with a small pout. Once again her voice was too perfect, too smooth and at ease. Her eyes seemed to shine brighter, “Where’s Hare and Oak?”  

“Standby with Clover,” Ironwood said. He stood aside and waved his arms. A silent permission for the group to enter and an order to follow. Robyn and her team scowled but followed Aro’s lead. Flanking her, as if they were guards.  

Winter broke rank, strides placing her next to Penny. She didn’t speak, instead giving Penny a concerned look then a questioning glance at Ciel, who didn’t look very pleased. The possibility of a fight breaking out was… low. Ideally. The human variable was very unpreditable, and Aro seemed to be the largest unknown factor. Perhaps kidnapped wasn’t too extreme.  

“Congrats Marrow!” Aro said, “I had a bet with Joanna and May about when you’d get accepted into the Ace-Ops. I won.”  

“Thanks! I-” Marrow was cut off by a pointed look from Vine. “I’m not allowed to be polite apparently.” He said with a pout. His tail curled down and arms folded across his chest.  

"I don’t quite understand it either. I feel like the silence is meant to rile us up." Aro said. Despite her smooth and easy going voice the soldiers seemed to flinch. General Ironwood increased his pace and no one stopped any further conversation.  

Marrow excitedly told her about a search and destroy mission of a Geist that plagued a few SDC transports. It was particularly fond of taking over machinery. Aro talked about the crime rates in Vale, how Dust theft is increasing the demands for Dust. During her week long trip she made several contracts for the Abyssal Dust Company that would give her a small lead over the SDC.  

“Sounds like Vale needs help,” Marrow frowned.  

“They do,” Robyn agreed, “I still have a few connections from my cop days. We helped a few investigations and the scale of this thing could mean a huge gang war.”  

“But Vale isn’t known for those types of conflicts,” May muttered.  

“I still think they’re shipping it to Vacuo.” Fiona added.  

“Their history of violence and such little resources would mean they’d need outside help.” Vine agreed.  

Aro was right. The small talk did easy tensions a little. They were all Huntresses and Huntsmen after all, their duty was to protect the people, and they easily talked about Vale’s situation for the duration of the walk. But Ironwood only grew tense. His posture grew stiff, walking more like a march.  

Then Penny notice Winter fell back, nudging May’s arm and giving a questioning look. May’s hands and fingers moved, face quickly changing from expression to expression. Penny realized she was signing when Winter did a gesture and May repeated the motions a little slower. Whatever information they traded set Winter on edge. She widen her strides and walked even closer to Penny.  

She tried to trust Aro. Her future teammate was confident and unwavering but as she watched everyone’s behavior Penny was starting to realize something. She was helpless and useless. She couldn’t contribute anything to Xanthic’s freedom. She was created to help and protect, but this situation wasn’t a physical fight.  

It was beyond her control…  

They finally arrived at Ironwood’s office. Xanthic was seated there, surrounded by the other Ace-Ops members. The gravity Dust bindings were on, holding her wrist together. Physically, she was well. Mentally, Ashley Xanthic nearly catatonic. The way her eyes… Penny’s Aura clenched around her systems. There was nearly no power running through Xanthic’s circuits. It was dull almost-  

“You look dead,” Ciel blurted out, surprise and a near overwhelming tone in her voice.  

Immediately those cybernetic eyes flickered on. It was long enough for Xanthic to take in the rebellious group but it dimmed far too quickly for Penny’s comfort. She didn’t stand when Harriet tried prompting her too. “I’m here to haunt you. Boo.” Xanthic said. Again it didn’t hold any bite and Penny’s processors barely register it as Xan’s voice. She wasn’t happy that so many people came to support he. Just tired.  

Ciel sneered, “A failure even in death, I see.” That finally got a reaction even if it was a lazy middle finger. The bit of normality helped Penny calm down.  

“Clover,” Ironwood commanded.  

“We’ll be close,” Clover said with a nod. He lead Harriet and Elm out of the room. Elm gave May a concerned look. Harriet and Fiona lightly glared at each other until Robyn stepped between them. She completely ignored the Spec-Ops and kept her eyes on Ironwood. Vine and Marrow stepped forward, protecting their General’s flanks. Penny was grateful Winter stood by her side. Even it was to protect her from Aro or Robyn’s team.  

The General’s eyes landed on Ciel though he didn’t speak until the doors hissed shut. The officer-in-training tried not to fidget, but from her position Penny could see her tightly squeeze her hands hidden behind her back.  

“I’m surprised Ms. Soleil is with you.”  

“I found them bonding at the old Gym! Ciel’s credentials are some of the best in the Police Academy. Almost as good as Robyn’s,” Aro said with a smile that wasn’t perfect. It was a little smug and that made it completely vicious. Penny looked around the room, reading people’s reactions. Everyone stared hard at her, tense.  

Penny flinched a little. Aro wasn’t a threat, she was a friend trying to help their future teammate. She wanted to say it but the tension in the room caused her processors to stutter and falter.  

"I bet with training Ciel’s Clockwork would be more versatile that Stay." Marrow seemed to frown at that. “I also noticed Penny completely destroyed the highest score.” That another response from Xanthic. Her cybernetic eyes glowed softly. Aro signed at her and finally roused the hacker onto her feet. It seemed like she was trying to wake up.  

“… She did now?” General Ironwood asked with a raised brow. His eyes finally lifted off Ciel and to Penny. She tried not to flinch under it. She really did but couldn’t find the courage.He was General Ironwood, he helped her father create her and- Aro’s arm wrapped around her shoulders, body angle between them like a shield.  

“Without breaking a sweat, according to May. Which is… surprising,” Aro tapped her chin. She spared a glance at Penny then down to her hand. She had grasped Aro’s shirt out of reflex. Penny let go and took a step closer to Winter. She was relieved to feel a faint pressure push into her.  

Aro pulled out her Scroll- a new model. It was gold and green, compact with only one handle. It didn’t open, with a press of the button it projected schematics… of Floating Array. Penny’s eyes widen. That was hidden off the network, the data was only in this facility.  

An instances was immediately brought forward in Penny’s head. Caught red handed by General Ironwood himself.  

Xanthic didn’t just hack Atlas’ Network but she physically snuck in here! That finally seemed to bring the hacker back to her senses. The smirked was a little soft, her features hard lacking the sharp edge but it was slowly coming back. Your system locked me out before I could get any real information, Xanthic once said.  

Floating Array and Penny herself wasn’t on the record, according to Atlas documentation, they didn’t exist.  

The mechanic took a deep breath. Slowly that façade faded with the bright blue of Aro’s eyes. A nearly chilling deep sea green eyes challenged Ironwood.  

“I don’t remember giving the military access to my design or permission to turn it into a lethal weapon.” Aurora Glade, lied with her semblance off.  

Penny felt a heavy weight in her chest. In order to keep the lie Ironwood carefully constructed around her, he couldn’t risk denying that claim. Aro effectively stolen Atlesian Military Weapon in front his most loyal subordinates.  

When she spoke this time her voice was completely flat, mimic’s Ironwood’s tone when he gave out orders. “I’ve had some companies ask me if it was a personal weapon or commercial one…” She was threatening to publish the schematics.  

“What do you want Glade.” The only crack in his composure was his tone of voice. It was so tense it was nearly dead.  

Aro’s semblance immediately turned on, “Xanthic’s punishment adjusted to accommodate for her autophobia. Of course this wouldn’t affect our previous arrangement.” Except it does. If Ironwood doesn’t give Penny complete freedom to choose her final teammate, the schematics would be released to the public. While the only people capable of using it were in the room, it could easily be reverse enginered by other Kingdoms. And as Ciel one said, humans could be horrible to each other.  

“Of course.” Ironwood said. He pulled out his Scroll transferring permissions to Winter. Immediately the cuffs turned off. “I’ll entrust Schnee to work out the accommodations with you.”  

Aro grin was more of a show of teeth, combined with her golden horns and glowing eyes… For once Penny was skeptical of her first friend. Marrow tried to hide a small smile, his tail wagging so slightly as they left. No one talked as Winter escorted the rebellious group back to the roof. Penny didn’t quite understand the atmosphere. She thought she’d be more conflicted about this but she found herself scared for the others.  

Wasn’t this a victory? Somehow her civilian teammates twisted Ironwood’s lies and manipulations against him. It felt… Penny fidgeted and she took a deep breath of the cold Solitas air to cool her down. Her processors finally placed the emotion, finally realized how bad the consequences could be. She was scared for her team. Her two civilian teammates just blackmailed the General into a corner in front of his subordinates. Not to mention Aro claimed to have created Floating Array.  

The repercussions would be dire.  

Whatever was hanging over them didn’t break until Xanthic stepped out onto the roof. She glared at everyone, “Whoo. Go team APCX…” It was said in such a bored and thick drawl it seemed to have shorted Focus. Aro’s eyes suddenly dulled and she snorted and laughed while Ciel manage to hide it a little with a cough. Satisfied with seeing some life back into everyone, Xanthic ran out arms stretched above her head, “Sun! Praise the sun! I want some Menagerie and Minstrel BBQ! A drink! Fucking pretzel dip!” Whatever tension that remained eased off as Xanthic vented out into the air.  

Slowly they filtered out of the cramp elevator. Penny let everyone walk past her, watching the crowd and life the empty halls of the facility never had. Robyn and Fiona was chatting and giggling, mocking the Ace-Ops reactions. Winter and May seemed a little conflicted but their shoulders weren’t as pinched. The Specialist was rubbing her temples. All the noise of life could be overwhelming at times but… it was wondrous.  

“That would be more effective if you relaxed your jaw,” Penny whispered to her. May sneered and coughed trying to hid it. Winter half glared at Penny but she saw those lips part ever so slightly.  

“Was fucking pretzel dip sex or food?” Aro whispered to them. May growled shoving Aro forward and Winter only groaned. Thanks to the Schnee’s famously pale complexion, Penny did see a small blush across her cheeks.  

They finally caught up to the others who was just watching Xanthic prowl around yelling.  

“We should calm her down,” Robyn whispered to Ciel.  

“I was kidnapped and treated as a bargaining chip. I’m not participating in anything.” Ciel objected. Despite the harsh words her attitude was a little light and entertained, like she was enjoying Xanthic’s frustration.  

“You have no idea how crazy I was going locked up doing the same thing every-day!” Xanthic screamed into the air. Aro hummed, playing along as she opened the transport with her Scroll. “Fucking Ironwood. Argh! I want to rip that Bluetooth off his fucking face and watch his body go limp!” She stormed the transport. Team APCX followed their raging teammate. Penny frowned, finding her co-pilot seat stolen by the hacker. At least she stopped yelling and was glaring past the window. When those sharp cybernetic eyes flicked to Penny she yelped and jumped a little. “I want to beat Penny’s score.”  

“Of course you do!” Fiona yelled from the back. The Huntresses had settled onto the sofa. Penny was a little surprised to see Winter seated in the middle, Fiona and May at either sides of her. Of course Robyn at Fiona’s side. “What does everyone feel like eating? I’m calling Joanna to pick us up some food and meeting us at the Gym.” Someone said sushi and the other wanted pizza. The Huntresses argued amongst themselves with Winter softly critisisng their choices.  

Ciel made a displeased noise, “Please don’t tell me this is going to be a regular thing,” She said. The officer-in-training leaned against Xanthic’s seat, probably because Penny was beside Aro. “Blackmailing the General and everything.”  

“Things usually go a lot smoother…I’m having a hard time figuring out where my plan failed,” Aro admitted with some embarrassment.  

“Oh. So this is fucking routine. Lovely,” Ciel scowled. Then Penny remembered the little box. She slipped off her backpack and pushed aside several folded blades to get to it.  

“Could it be because I didn’t delivery this?” She asked holding the mysterious box out. If she was the reason this happened…  

Xanthic took it and wrote out her signature with her finger. Invisible seems split open to reveal a new Scroll similar to Aro’s new one and thick gloves with cybernetic attachments. Penny counted at least four hard-light projectors on the palm side.  

“There was too much security to use the Scroll and I would have just assaulted the Ace-Ops if I had my gloves,” Xanthic explained, “So it’s probably a good thing you didn’t.”  

“And even if I was here I doubt I’d be able to do much. I prefer subtle manipulations,” Aro said.  

“Pretty sure they hate it.” Xanthic’s head nodded to the back. For a moment Penny caught Winter and May’s eyes. Penny finally realized why they were able to communicate without words. It was shared history and understanding. All three of them hated this side of Aro. The pair turned back to Fiona and Robyn. Xanthic noticed but continued talking with Aro in low volumes. “But no… I don’t think we can afford to be so reckless.”  

“We showed our biggest trump card,” Aro said with a frustrated sigh. Her hands flexed around the joystick. Her voice dropped to a whisper, “My trip to Vale was to transfer ownership of ADC so Ironwood or Jacques doesn’t target that next. I’d still have connections and favors but resources will be short for a bit.”  

“Wait… what are you two talking about?” Ciel asked with a worried edge to her voice.  

Aro tilted her head, dull… no, normal sea-green eyes looking at her, “Court games, Squire.” She grinned weakly. Ciel groaned and rolled her eyes but accepted the answer. Penny had a vague understanding of the phrase. The subtle manipulations of people and appearances to influence the masses. “Things should be calm for awhile. And as much as I hate Ironwood, I’m a little excited to do this Vytal Festival thing.” Aro said, her voice picking up and sounding a little lighter, more like Penny’s first impression of the women.  

How much of her was a lie through Focus?  

The rest of the ride was filed with oddly peaceful chatter. Xanthic’s bite was more like nibble now and Ciel was always ready with a quip back. Or perhaps Penny was just growing acustome to those harsh tones. The closer they got to the Gym the more energy built up, thanks to little Thyme. In the elevator down to the basement the sheep and goat Faunus was posturing at each other.  

“Oh come on! Xanthic is a legendary shot,” Fiona argued. Xanthic smirked, pride swelling obviously.  

Aro scoffed and rolled her eyes, “And Floating Array and is 100% accurate! Besides Penny’s eyes are the newest model.”  

“Bitch,” Xanthic scowled, "My shots are all skill."  

“Five thousand lien that Penny will smoke your ass,” Aro crossed her arms. Ciel sputtered, eyes wide and head whipping back the businesswomen.  

“Just 5? And upgrades.” Xanthic pointed to her eyes.  

“Seven and a gadget IOU,” Aro agreed.  

“We’re gonna be rich!” Fiona cheered running out of the elevator as soon as it opened. She was at the far end of the basement already setting up the shooting range. Joanna had two boxes and two booths shoved together in the back looking a little confused. As soon as she saw Xanthic, a grin broke out on her face.  

“Wow! Just like our academy days!”  

“Don’t remind me,” May and Winter groaned.  

Penny wanted to watch them interact a little more but her teammates Ciel and Aro dragged her off. Specifically Aro with her odd fluctuating gravity presence. Ciel took a deep breath and put her hands on Penny’s shoulders. “Don’t lose. This is two months of pay.”  

“Uh…” Penny smiled a little nervously. Two months sounded like a lot of time and effort but she did not fully comprehend the value of lien. Or human effort. But she was combat ready! Her systems was made for fighting, “It is nearly impossible for me to lose!”  

“I don’t know…” Aro muttered rubbing her chin. Focus was still off so the chances of the mechanic lying was nearly a 0.2 percent. “Xanthic is a really good shot. I’m sure it’s because of the upgrades because her a semblance was tied to her original eyes.”  

Penny only smiled, trying to reassure her teammates. "Floating Array can split into fourteen individual components."  

“Xanthic only has two hands,” Ciel reasoned with a shrug. Aro was starting to look a little worried.  

“Will our shooters please take their places!” Robyn yelled.  

Aro ruffled Penny’s hair, a familiar gesture that tickled Penny’s ears and had her giggling a little. The seating arrangements were divided amongst Team Xanthic and Team Penny. Winter, May, Aro and Ciel sat on Penny’s side. She smiled brightly at them and May gave a loud cheer. Joanna and Fiona stood at Xanthic’s side, loudy hollering and ignoring the other patrons. Robyn dropped her lien onto the table, next to the boxes and boxes of food and walked to the middle to referee.  

“Alright ladies the rules are simple. Highest points at the end of ten minutes is victorious!” She yelled with a flare that was nearly making Penny Aura overload her power unit. Penny bounced with excitement to burn it off a little. “The current pot is half a 32 thousand lien,” Robyn said. Penny frowned and looked at Winter and May. May was grinning and cheering while Winter just shrugged her shoulders. They came from rich families but throwing so much into a game seemed excessive. “The winning team can decide how its split.”  

“What?!” Neon and Reese yelled from the back. They quickly dashed over on their skates and threw more lien on the table. “You got this cutie!” Neon cheered jumping.  

Robyn covered her mouth trying to hid a grin. Penny giggled as Reese jumped up and down on her hoverboard. “Team Penny! Go! Go!”  

Penny unfurled Floating Array from her back. All fourteen blades pointed down range. Xanthic smirked and dusted off her palms. Hard-light projectors sparked at every contact. The cybernetics glowed brighter and brighter. Was it charging or was it for show?  

“Do Robyn’s crossbow!” Fiona yelled.  

Xanthic sneered and flourished both wrist. The hard-light projectors on her gloves crafted a near exact replica of the arm mounted weapon. Robyn let out an appreciative whistle. Her confident eyes slide over to Penny.  

The metal women was starting to worry as even Robyn smirked at her, “Care for a test shot, Blue?” Robyn asked.  

Xanthic aimed down range then looked at Penny. She winked as the crossbow fired. The on the spot changes were three rails on the crossbow. Three hard-light arrows split off into different directions, three targets. Like how Aro dodged the Spider Droid without looking, Xanthic’s blind fire were all within the lethal zone. Penny frowned, humming in thought. Aro’s assessment about Xanthic’s eyes must be off. Or maybe Xanthic was using more of her neural augments? The most plausible explanation was both semblance and cybernetic enhancements.  

This challenge was definitely harder than anticipated.  

“Participants ready!?” Robyn asked.  

Penny felt her Aura swell and systems hummed. She took a deep breath, taking in as much cold air before blowing out a slightly visible steam.  

“Combat ready!” Penny confirmed.  

“Player two ready,” Xanthic smirked.  

“You got this Penn!” Aro and May yelled.  

“Xan! Xan! Xan!” Joanna and Fiona cheered.  

Robyn let the tension built up a little more before yelling, “Begin!”  

As soon as Penny started firing she realized her firing rate was not high enough. Floating Array needed time to charge while Xanthic shot once and hit three different targets. She took a deep breath and focused on control. She didn’t need a lot of power, didn’t need to charge up the shots so long. It only need to be detected by the scoring system.  

Penny started to stagger her shots as well. One barrel always firing with the others were charging up. The steady stream of fire quickly caught up with the burst Xanthic did. A downside to the gloves was reloading ability. Xanthic had to recreate the entire weapon. Which was why she was only firing with one arm, Penny realized.  

When the first crossbow finally ran out of hard-light arrows, it disappeared. With a flick of her wrist military grade, long barreled pistol was in her hand. Penny could see her cybernetic eyes telescoping and shifting from target to target. Underneath the loud cheering she could hear Xanthic’s augments hum loudly.  

It was a genuine challenge for both shooters but at the end of 10 minutes…  

Xanthic’s rate of fire outpaced Penny by ten points. Team Penny groaned and collapsed to the floor, the students particularly defeated. The idiots that threw in such large amounts of money didn’t seem to upset. Aro was nervously laughing as Ciel chewed her out.  

Team Xanthic was jumping around, particularly Fiona. Xanthic rolled her eyes and fist bumped Robyn and Joanna. Then she turned to Penny and held it out a first, “Good shooting, Swords.” Xanthic said.  

With a smile.  

Penny grinned, fist slamming into Xanthic’s. The women let out a pained, flinching as metal connected Aura-less bone and flesh. “Oh! I’m sorry!”  

“I-I’m fine,” Xanthic mumbled despite the tears in her eyes. It took a few tries with a throbbing, possible broken hand but the alias Silver Wat was once again top on the scoreboard with Penny’s name under it.  

Error: Enemy Unknown

[magical-beans]

Chapter 3: The Suicide Squad (Danganronpa x Reader)

(The chapter title is a movie reference only.)

(G/N) = Given Name

(N/N) = Nickname

Possible trigger warnings: mentions of guns, panic attack (nothing graphic)

~死~

Not long after the Office Incident -- merely what Kokichi is calling it now as a short term solution.  He needs a better name than that to retell his much more enthused, dramatic version of the story -- Kokichi called an official DICE meeting.

To be honest, the call was kind of a shock to the other nine members.  They don't often get together anymore now that business is booming, and someone has to supervise.  The only time they really see each other is for heists, and those are only after throwing around several ideas about the next location.  The only things filling their text thread currently are awful memes and check-ins.

It was even more of a shock to discover why he'd called.

~死~

Hearts — Shinzou Yuu — is monitoring the Chinese base of operations when he receives the call from Kokichi.

"What's up, Boss?"

The call isn't necessarily unusual: Kokichi often likes to call Yuu and complain, lamenting about this and that. Yuu's used to it by now.

"Shi-chaaan! You have to help me! I'm traumatized! Someone attacked me with a big, bad gun, and it was sooo scary!"

This should be alarming.

It's not.

It might have been if his voice wasn't whiny and drawn out — if he attempted to be serious for once: but he hadn't. Things don't scare Ouma Kokichi. Not anymore, at least.

Yuu sighs, prepping himself to deal with the worst of Kokichi's dramatics.

There is an odd shuffling sound, and Kokichi's mocking laughter follows. It spills through the speaker on Yuu's end, muffled, as though Kokichi has pulled away from his phone. Yuu thinks nothing of it.

"That's horrible, Boss." Yuu humors him with his words, but his tone is monotonous. Thankfully, that's all it takes to avoid Kokichi's obnoxious crocodile tears. "You aren't hurt, are you?"

"Hurt!? Of course not! I'm the Great Supreme Leader of DICE! I have people who would become my human shield if I so much as lifted a finger!"

This is true, but they both don't like to think about it.

The laughter rings out again on Kokichi's end, muffled once more and followed by a playful "Shut up, (N/N)-chan!" Now that is odd.

"Boss, you got someone tied up on your side?"

"Yup yup! That's actually why I called! I got myself a professional human shield! They're awfully grumpy, though, so I might have to kill them before they can do their job!"

His voice is still playful, but this isn't a laughing matter. There hasn't been a case in the last four years of Kokichi finding an orphan interesting enough to introduce to his closest friends. The innermost group of DICE — the heart of it all — is exclusive. They had built DICE from the ground up, and that's special in their hearts. To have someone join that...an outsider, well...

Yuu breathes in deep, closing his eyes momentarily, then sighs. If Kokichi wants to meddle, it's not his problem.

There is a reason Kokichi had called Yuu first.

"I'd love to meet them, Boss," Yuu says, and he knows his voice sounds tired. "Be careful. We trust your judgment, but some of us can be hardheaded."

"Thanks, Shi-chan. When you wrap up business in China, head on back, 'kay?"

Kokichi's voice is softer now, more fond.

Yuu smiles slightly. This new person must really be something special.

~死~

"Hey, Love, what's hangin'?"

Jack — Ippanjin Mayumi — has picked up the phone in Argentina, her syrupy sweet drawl traveling smoothly through the long-distance connection. She traps her phone between her ear and shoulder before continuing to paint her nails.

"Nishi~ Yumi-chan, there's someone I'd like you to meet!" Kokichi giggles.

Mayumi grins. Two can play that game. And she would admit, she is a little curious.

"A romantic partner, Dear? Don't you think it's too early for them to meet your parents? You should know better than to move too fast." Stepping into the role of Mom isn't so hard: playing it for four years will do that to you.  

Kokichi giggles some more and then drops his voice into something akin to earnest.

"They might be the one, Mom."

Mayumi stills, nearly smudging the deep purple on her nails.

"Oh?" She tries carefully, concealing any emotion in her voice. "Is that so?"

"Could you come back to meet them, Yumi-chan? I think you'll like them."

He sounds a little nervous. He must have known this would be a tough call. Adopting is cool and all, but it is also a big decision. Mayumi isn't sure how she feels about adding another person to their tight-knit group. Kokichi seems certain, though. That should be enough.

Mayumi sighs into the phone, resuming her nail painting.

"All right, then. See you in a few weeks, Love."

~死~

King and Spades — Osama Akihiko and Suki Ryuunosuke respectively — race for the phone when it goes off. There's a flurry of limbs and blows, each one trying to hinder the other from reaching it first.

The phone is on its last ring when Ryuunosuke reaches out to grab it and answer triumphantly, Akihiko sprawled on the floor with a pout.

"Heya, Boss! This is Super Evil Demon Number One speaking, how can I help you?"

"Hey, how come you're number one?" Akihiko whines petulantly from his spot on the floor, and Ryuu sticks his tongue out at him.

"'Cause I got here first, Dumbass!"

Kokichi giggles at their banter.

"Well, my loyal servant," Kokichi begins, a haughty tone possessing his voice, "I need to speak with your lesser demon as well."

Ryuu grins. "Lesser Demon indeed!" He says into the phone before turning to Akihiko. "Get up, Hiko. Kichi wants to talk to you, too."

Akihiko sniffles a bit before getting up, wiping his nose, and Ryuunosuke puts the phone on speaker.

"Hey, Kokichi," Akihiko sighs into the phone, the dejectedness palpable.

"That's no way for a prince of Hell to be speaking, now, is it? Be proud of the havoc you wreak!"

Akihiko sniffles again, but this time it's followed by a smile.

Ryuunosuke frowns.

"Why is he a prince and I'm not!? I thought you said he was my lesser demon!" Ryuu whines.

"You're the High General, duh!" Kokichi says brightly. "You have way more power than he does, commanding armies and stuff. Akihiko just has his gross libraries." A faux gagging sound comes from Kokichi's side of the line.

Akihiko huffs, trying to seem both offended and arrogant, but he's proud of his new title. Ryuu can't blame him: High General is pretty freaking cool, too.

"Your Majesty, Sir, how can I be of service to this kingdom today?" Akihiko asks, bowing even though Kokichi can't see it. Ryuu snorts, jabbing him in the side. That earns him one back. That starts a tasing war.

"It's a big request. Are you sure you can handle it?" Kokichi challenges teasingly. Ryuunosuke salutes the phone, as a High General should, and Akihiko snickers. Ryuu tases him harder this time, and Hiko bends over, clutching his side. Serves him right!

"Of course we can, Sir! We won't let you down!" Ryuu is practically shouting, still in salute position.

"Have faith, My King." Akihiko is upright again, composing himself and smoothing out his blazer. "There is nothing we cannot do."

Kokichi's deep breath is audible through the speaker, and both boys tense. If their leader is nervous, it must be something big.

"Someone will be joining your legion soon. I'd like you to return to the castle and train them as soon as possible."

It takes a second, but another grin cracks across Ryuu's face and a soft smile dusts Akihiko's. That's all?

"I don't know why you're nervous, Boss. If you picked 'em, I'm sure they'll survive our impossible training!"

"Under our care, they will be nothing short of perfect. Rest easy, Your Highness."The pair looks at each other, and smiles widen. Ryuu bumps shoulders with his partner in crime (one of them, anyway).

He's not expecting Akihiko to frown.

"What makes you think you can touch me? Me, a prince?"

"I'm a High General! I command the armies!"

"I am royalty, you swine!"

With an angered growl, Ryuu tackles Akihiko to the floor and another wrestling match begins. The phone is discarded, forgotten, and Kokichi's laughter trickles briefly through the speaker before it's cut off, call ending.

~死~

The last five minutes have just been the two of them shouting and elongating each other's names across the phone.

"Taaaaarou!"

"'Kiiiiiiichi!"

Kokichi finally breaks down in giggles.

"Tarou-chan! I miss you!"

Dealer — Diira Tarou — is in America.

Specifically, he's gorging himself on a pound's worth of McDonald's' cheeseburgers and about three large cartons of fries in the safety of DICE headquarters, New York, but details, shmetails.

"Well, I miss you, too, Boss," He says around a mouthful, "Wha'd' ya need?"

"Why would I need anything, Tarou-chan? Can't I check in with my subordinates like a good boss?"

"Well sure, but ya wouldn't call. Is it something big? I can try smuggling these fries back home. It'll be tough, but I guarantee the amount of salt is worth it. This is the kind of heart attack that's worth it."

"Tarou-chan!" Kokichi scolds, but Tarou can picture the smile on his face.

Tarou's laughter is full-bodied, and it shakes him in his entirety. He leans back in his plush swivel chair and props his feet up in the one across from him.

"Can't say I'm sorry, Boss, but I respect your decision. What'cha got for me, then?" Tarou snatches another cheeseburger, chowing down.

"Y'know, I made a friend recently."

"Oh?" Tarou reaches for a fry.

"Yeah. The day after I met them, they ate a whole pizza. A whole one. All by themself. In, like, fifteen minutes. It was gross."

Tarou laughs again but pauses when he hears commotion on Kokichi's end. His boss is snickering, and another voice — one Tarou doesn't recognize — is audible. The voice sounds exasperated, though its words are unintelligible.

Tarou understands, now, why his boss had called.

"Ya'know that if they can't beat me in an eating contest, they can't stay, right?" He says jokingly, a soft smile on his face. Kokichi, though, gives a sage hum of acknowledgment.

"I'll start starving them right now."

The person in the room starts to yell, and Kokichi laughs out loud, nothing like his signature giggle.

Tarou knows already that this person is here to stay.

~死~

"Emi-chan, I want to try on all your new dresses when you get back."

Queen — Ojoou Emi — has been stationed in France, dealing with most of Europe. (Even though there are two of them, King and Spades never get anything done.)

"I was planning on it, Ko-chan! There is this cute purple one that you'll like! Oh, and I got this pair of shoes to go with it and I love them!" Emi sing-songs.

"But your feet are too big, Emi-chan! I can't wear your shoes because my feet are dainty! Ogre shoes won't look any good!"

"I don't know, Ko-chan. You need something to balance out that enormous head of yours." The banter is playful, familiar. Emi doesn't know why Kokichi called, but she's glad he's okay.

"I don't know what you mean, Emi-chan! I'm cute, small, innocent, and perfect!" Emi giggles.  She agrees, for the most part, because he is cute and small and perfect (innocent, though? That's a stretch), but she can't say that to his face. She isn't wrong about his head; it can't take any more inflating.

"Although..." Kokichi trails off, and he says something else, but Emi can't understand him. He must have lowered the phone, but she can't imagine who he could be talking to. "Aha! They do have feet bigger than yours! They're taller than you, though, so I don't know if they count as Ogre Feet."

This makes Emi pause. Who is he talking about?

"Aw, Emi-chan! Can't think of anything to refute this fact that your brilliant leader has presented you with? It seems I've gotten smarter in your absence! I didn't know idiocy was infectious! It must be like STDs, Emi-chan! Now you have to warn someone before you engage in intercourse; otherwise, you could get sued! I should sue you, y'know, for infecting me with your stupidity. I can't afford to get dumber: the world needs me!"

"Who are they?" Emi whimpers softly, shaking with the effort of holding in a whine and ignoring his jabs at her intelligence. She feels heartbroken, like something special she once had is now no longer her own. The tears pricking at the corners of her eyes sting.

Kokichi's monologue stops, and when he speaks next, his voice matches hers.

"They saved my life, Emi-chan. They ran into machine-gun fire to save my life and the lives of probably a hundred others. They're ten, and they're in so much pain, too much pain. And they've never taken a life, no matter how hard life gets. I'm pretty sure they can't take a life. And Emi-chan-" he pauses briefly, listening to Emi choke on a sob before continuing.

"Their smile is the most beautiful thing you'll ever see, Emi-chan. You're going to love them."

Emi sniffles, the tears slipping down her cheeks hot and shameful. She's jealous. She knows she shouldn't be.

Kokichi takes a different approach to calm her down.

"They haven't cut their hair in a long time. If you ask nicely, they may let you play with it, scissors and everything."

Emi's hiccuped laugh is gross but relieved — one short chortle.

Kokichi doesn't even attempt to hide his sigh of relief, breathing out his nervous anticipation.

"I think you'd have a lot of fun dressing them up, too. They don't have a lot of clothes, so they'll have to trust your fantastic fashion sense."

She's smiling now, small and content despite the ugly feeling rolling in her gut.

"Okay, Kokichi. I can't wait to meet them."

"You'll always be my twin, Emi-chan. No one can replace you."

The gross feeling begins to fade. Ouma Kokichi is rarely so soft, so kind, so quiet. Emi loves him like this. Maybe this additional person won't be so bad if they're worth his heart.

~死~

Clubs — Karabu Nobutoshi — is out on the water off the coast of Sydney, Australia when Kokichi calls. He grins.

"You caught me at a good time, Boss. Just made it past the pier. What's going on?" One hand on the wheel, he turns his small schooner downwind, and Nobutoshi grins wider at the thrill in his stomach at the feeling of gliding over the water. Sailing is the best.

"No fair, Toshi-chan! You're having fun without me!" Kokichi whines, and Nobutoshi can see his pout. "Now you have to take me sailing when you come back!"

He laughs, throwing his head back and adjusting the wheel slightly.

"It's cold in Japan right now! You'd have to wait a bit." Then he realizes. "Wait. Come back? Did something happen? Are you all right?"

"Aww, how nice of you to worry about me! You're so sweet, Toshi-chan!"

"Seriously, Kichi. Is it an emergency? I can book a plane ticket home for tomorrow if-"

"Relax, Toshi-chan." Kokichi's playful tone disappears, and he instead adopts a more genuine air. "I'm okay, but I want you to head home once you wrap up business in Australia."

Nobutoshi sighs in relief.

"... Could you tell me why?" He asks, now more curious than worried but still a little hesitant.

"Well..." Oh no. Toshi can hear his grin. "There was some trouble. There was a gun and-"

"A gun! Kokichi, I swear!"

Kokichi laughs.

"Yup! A gun, Toshi-chan, and the evil villain who had the gun wanted me dead!"

"You literally just told me to relax, then you spring this on me. C'mon, Kokichi, I'm getting old! My heart can't take this!"

Forget about sailing, this little gremlin takes up all his time! Nobutoshi clicks on autopilot and rubs his face with his now-free hand. He would need the entirety of his focus for this conversation.

"What!? You're only sixteen, Toshi-chan! Don't worry about me, we need to worry about you!" Kokichi exclaims, sounding not the least bit concerned. Toshi smiles into his hand.

"Well, now you gotta tell me," Nobutoshi says, "because if you leave me on the cliffhanger, I will die of a heart attack and you'll need to dig my body out of the middle of the ocean."

As if he's mulling it over, Kokichi hums, then says, "Well, I guess we can't have that, so I'll tell you. There was a gun, but someone saved me! They beat up the big, bad villain and broke his gun! That's why I'm calling, Toshi-chan: because I want you to meet my savior!"

Okay, so that took a turn at the end. Nobutoshi was not expecting that, not in the slightest.

"Someone new, huh?"Kokichi pauses before he answers. "Yeah. They're a total dork like you, Toshi-chan, so I think you'll get along well."

Nobutoshi forces his brain to work again, forces himself to process the conversation, forces himself to breathe right.

The first breath is too harsh, making noise as it rushes out his nose.

It feels like so long ago now, but after running away from his latest orphanage with Tarou, Kokichi had found them on the streets. At first, they talked. For a long time. About anything and everything and nothing in particular. And then Kokichi brought them back to an abandoned building. It was old and dirty and warm and cozy and everything that home should be. They both stayed the night. And the one after that. Then suddenly they were family, him and Tarou and the small boy with a doll's face and his ragtag bunch of friends.

Family isn't born on a whim.

But then again, Kokichi found them all, so...

Toshi looks out over the calm ocean, drinking in the expanse of blue, and breathes again, slowly this time.

So maybe he should trust Kokichi's judgment. Toshi had trusted him this far; he could go a little further.

"Yeah, maybe we will."

~死~

Trick — Damasu Airi — is surprised to feel a buzzing in her back pocket as she's racing through the outskirts of the Congo Rainforest. She stops for a moment to answer, settling into the nook of a gigantic tree and catching her breath. When she sees the caller ID, she smiles and quickly picks up.

"Hi, Nii-chan," she breathes into the phone, so ecstatic to talk to him.

"Hi, Airi-chan," he says just as softly, and Airi squirms with a feeling of satisfaction, her smile widening. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good, Nii-chan. The trees are pretty and soft here." And it's true. The people are also really nice, especially when she brings food and supplies. Even though they can't understand each other, they are always so eager to help.

"That sounds like fun!" The smile in his voice makes her smile.

"Mhm."

Airi is content to just listen to Kokichi breathe into the phone, and they sit in silence for a bit before he speaks again.

"Airi-chan," he begins, oh so softly. She loves him. "I called to talk to you about something important."

He sounds serious. Airi freezes. Did she do something wrong? Is he getting rid of her? Is she never going to see him again? What's-

"Can you come home? I miss you."

Oh. Yeah, she can do that.

"I miss you, too, Nii-chan."

"I wanted to warn you, though. There is a reason I'd like to see you again." It's okay, a warning doesn't mean anything bad for her, he misses her-

"There's someone I want you to meet."

No. No. Someone new? No way. This new person will make him realize that she doesn't do anything, that she's useless. This new person will take him away from her. He'll leave her all alone and she'll get hurt again and everything will be so cold. She's so useless. Why couldn't she help him? Make him want to keep her? Why can't she stay and be loved and warm and have no new people and-

"Airi-chan." Nii-chan's voice sounds so grainy through the phone. It's another reminder he's not here with her. "I need you to breathe, Airi-chan. Please?"

She can do that. But maybe she can't. Her breath stutters, and it's so hard to get it through her nose and-

"Good job, Airi-chan. Can you do it again for me? Nice and slow."

She loves the way he says her name. She can do it again. For him.

"Good. Keep breathing for me, okay? Can you name five things you can see?"

She can do that, too. When he tells her she's done well, the warm and fuzzy feeling comes back in her chest. She likes that.

"The moss... the leaves... a bird... the dirt... and... the tree branches."

"Hmm, now four things you can hear?"

He goes through the rest of the sequence with her, slow and patient. They've perfected this through all the times it's happened before, and now she's breathing evenly again.

Okay, someone new.

"Their name is (G/N), and they like to protect people from bad guys. They protected me."

Airi likes the way their name sounds, this stranger, so soft and round as she tries it out on her tongue. And they like to protect. Are they like Nii-chan? She might like them if they're like Nii-chan.

"Okay."

Kokichi knows what her word entails, and that's enough.

~死~

Diamonds — Naiya Ren — calls Kokichi first.

"I'm not surprised you called me last," is the first thing he says when Kokichi picks up.

Kokichi hesitates for a moment. Ren takes advantage of his silence.

"If you want to know how I know, Mayumi called.  She said to be ready.  I figured I'd make the first move."

Kokichi stays silent. Good, that means he's willing to hear Ren out.

Ren has been with him since the beginning. The very beginning. As is, the time where DICE was still a fantasy in Kokichi's head. Back when he would share his dreams with Ren while they would play chess with their makeshift set of rocks and chalk and beat-up checkers pieces.

Kokichi's bleeding heart has always been tempered by Ren's calculated indifference.

"I have no issues with employing people around the world to do office jobs and run service counters," Ren says, "but I have told you I don't like it when people get too close to you. You are in a very high-risk position, Kokichi; you're a high profile target. Anyone could want you dead."

"They know who I am." With none of its usual mischief and lightheartedness, Kokichi's voice is lifeless. "They knew who I was when they saved my life."

"Which you, Kokichi?" Ren already knows.

"Does it matter?" He sounds close to tears.

"Of course it matters. Joker is not the same person as Ouma Kokichi and you know it."

The tears are streaming down Kokichi's face now. Ren can't hear them, but he knows.

"I'm making an assumption here, but I don't understand why you told them about DICE, the true DICE, and mentioned nothing to the rest of us. I get that this is your organization, your idea, but I can't help but feel that this is something that belongs to all of us." It almost hurts to say this to him, to treat him like he doesn't feel the same way the rest of them do about this entire thing, but it needs to be done.

"It does. Belong to all of us, I mean. I can't take all the credit, you know." Kokichi's typical speech patterns without his mischief to play along make his words sound eerie and robotic. It's a wonder how he can speak so calmly through his most emotional moments.

"I never meant to imply that you did." That's a lie. "But it belongs to us. Not someone who doesn't know the value of what we've built. Who doesn't understand the journey from the bottom to the top. Who can't appreciate it the same way we do. It doesn't feel fair. This may be petty of me, but I may be the only one who will say this to you. You're too smart to have called us all without expecting this reaction, this feeling."

"I think you're wrong. About the journey. Maybe not with DICE, but they know. And they'll know DICE, too."

Ren sighs. If this is enough to bring him to genuine tears, and enough to keep him fighting after hearing all this, perhaps Ren can hear him out.

There is one question that weighs heavier than all the rest in his mind.

"What makes them so interesting?"

He knows Kokichi. Better than anyone. Playing round after round of chess will do that to you. You get to know how a person's mind works, how fast it works. Kokichi is the smartest person he knows. He doesn't like things that bore him easily.

"What about them is so mysterious that makes you want to keep them around."

Because that's what it's always been. Each person Kokichi has picked up off the street has something more to them than their tragic backstory.

"Their smile."

Shit.

He's getting teary over a smile?

"Fine." Ren gives up. He wasn't sure he would even win this argument in the first place. "I'll meet them. I make no promises about what happens after that."

"Thank you. That's all I ask."

Damnit.

He got played, didn't he?

~死~

As Kokichi puts the phone down for the eighth and final time, he turns to face you with an enormous grin on his face.

"Now," he says, a mischievous smile on his lips, "We wait."

You look at him, trying to decipher what that smile means, whether it's genuine, but give up after a few seconds. You can't read the perfect mask on his face.

At least, not yet.

~死~

I’m actually really surprised that I managed to get this chapter out so soon.

Finally made it to DICE!  I hope you enjoyed their characters as much as I enjoyed writing them.  This is my take on DICE, and if you disagree, that’s fine, let’s agree to disagree.  I’ve seen other representations of these characters before, so I thought I’d try my hand.  I also tried my best to write a panic attack, so I hope I did okay on that, too. 

Thanks for reading!  I’ll be back next week.

[realm-sweet-realm]

Early Ink Hell Chapter 5- Lacie’s Brood

Just what you wanted, right? A different chapter than I promised, and delivered a day late. Sorry, hopefully the next (and final) chapter will be up by Wednesday. And after that, I’m doing a Sammy x Norman one-off as a request.

Lacie woke up to Edgar shaking her awake, with inky tears flowing from Edgar’s realistic eye and tortured squeals emanating from his mouth. She immediately hopped up and grabbed her wrench. “Where’s the threat?” she demanded. It had been the little spider’s turn taking watch, something that Lacie had felt entirely confident handing to him, being it that Grant was inside of him and could take control if things got out of hand. She scanned the area, found nothing, and then looked back to Edgar, who looked sad and tearful but not in any particular rush. “No threat?”

Edgar shook his head.

“Ugh,” Lacie groaned, turning to go back to bed. Why hadn’t Grant stopped him? It occurred to her that obviously, if Grant had been able to handle whatever was bothering Edgar, he wouldn’t have woken her up in the first place. Alright, Edgar, I’ll bite. “What’s wrong?” she asked, gathering a sketch pad and pen from the ground. With Edgar’s mouth stitched up and his head-mouth having no tongue, writing was the only way he could communicate, so they usually carried around basic writing supplies.

Edgar took the pen and pad but just stood there like he didn’t know what to do.

“What’s wrong?” Lacie repeated, frustrated. Maybe it was a good thing that she never got to become a mother.

Edgar looked down at the pad of paper. Could he actually do this without Grant’s help? He could write letters. How much harder could words be?

A cold dread came upon Lacie as she saw Edgar’s clumsy scribbling, and her fears were confirmed when he turned the paper around. In barely legible writing, it read, “He’s gone.”

Lacie took a deep breath. First thing’s first, comfort the child. Next, come up with a plan. “Oh, come here,” she said in the gentlest tone that Barley’s scratchy voice allowed. Edgar curled up against her, and she started rocking him gently. Okay. Think, Lacie. Back in the beginning… I was unconscious. Nearly drowning in that ink river brought me out of it, let me get this foothold on this body. Lacie, in fact, forced herself to hold her head underwater whenever Barley reared his ugly head again and threatened to take control of her. But she’d tried that with Shawn to try and separate him and Charley, who were now fully merged, and nothing had happened. Maybe there wasn’t a way to bring Grant back, and she’d have to look out for this little spider child on her own.

Like practically every time she thought about drowning, Lacie remembered her one experience with it that wasn’t self-induced- the sailing incident gone awry that had nearly killed her. The memory of being trapped under icy water, so deep and so cold she could barely move, fearing for her life-

Lacie realized she was hyperventilating slightly. That was it! For her, drowning was a trauma. For Shawn, it wasn’t. Maybe if she could bring Edgar to something traumatic to Grant, she could recover him! Lacie got the pen and paper- she was very hoarse and preferred to write whenever she had to use more than a handful of words- and wrote down, No promises, but I think I can get him back, Edgar. And if not, me and Shawn will do everything we can to look after you. I promise.

Edgar read it over and gave Lacie a big hug, practically toppling her over in the process. Then, he hurried over to Charley to wake him up. Lacie caught him by the leg, causing him to fall down to the floor. "Tomorrow," she croaked. "Sleep."

Edgar gave her a little salute and curled up next to Charley/Shawn.

It might have sounded crazy, but Lacie actually liked keeping watch on her family at night. It was peaceful. Plus, this was the only time when Shawn still looked like Shawn. It was ironic, really, that she'd had to grin and bear it when Shawn had disappeared but now had to jump at the opportunity to save Grant, but hey, it was for the kid.

Shawn had been like a brother to Lacie while they'd been alive. They'd met in a dive bar shortly after Shawn had immigrated, and Lacie had shown him to all of her favorite hang-out spots around town, where they'd come to spend endless amounts of time drinking, playing darts and cards, and getting into trouble. Of course, their relationship had been more than that, though. While Lacie and Shawn had both grown up poor, Shawn had grown up with a loving family, something that Lacie had lacked and was rather afraid of starting with her then-girlfriend (now wife), Abby. When she had told Shawn that, he'd been utterly baffled. "No offense to ya, Lacie, but you remind me so much of me mother, and she was the best mother I could have asked fer. And if is askin' about it, she must think you're ready, too, right? I think you'll do great! And frankly, I'd love to be an uncle."

"Ha, okay, Shawn. I guess... I'll tell her I'm ready. I'm not getting any younger, after all. But you talked me into this, so the kid's not going to have an uncle. They're gonna have a godfather."

God, she'd hated seeing him lose himself. The sad thing is, Charley hadn't even taken over like Barely seemed to want to- they'd just faded into each other until they were basically a soulless husk.

Grant had been cool, too, while he was alive. She and Shawn had met him on one of their numerous trips out to bars, and basically adopted him as their little white-collared pet. It was kind of nice to have a buddy who wasn't constantly getting into trouble, and that needed a push forward instead of to be pulled back and and be called a dumbass (as she often did with Shawn). They hadn't met too long before their murders, and she hadn't learned a ton about him after their transformation either. Grant generally let Edgar take control, and Edgar handed the reins back to him whenever things got scary or dangerous. Sometimes, Grant would have to force the reins from him to get him to behave, but Edgar was generally compliant and loved his built-in dad. So although Lacie didn't have the same emotional connection to Grant, he was undeniably useful when it came to looking after the spider boy.

Wow. Lacie really had been... motherly, in her own way. If only she'd actually gotten a chance to use those mothering skills. There was absolutely no way of knowing how long she'd spent in that cage, in that jammed machine, or even out in the open afterward, but Lacie was fairly sure that Abby had had her child by now. Lacie wondered idly if it was a boy or a girl, and how her wife was doing as a single parent.

The clock above them struck, and Lacie shook her two partners in crime awake. She explained things to Charley via pen and paper, and they set off. Lacie didn't know exactly where to. She was currently still working out a mental map of the place. It wasn't as though they had anything better to do, or as though they were any safer staying in one place- on the contrary, that seemed like an excellent way to get caught. The place they'd come from was called "Heavenly Toys." It had been where Shawn had worked. Wishfully, Lacie tried starting up some of the machines in order to bring some flash of recognition back to Shawn. No dice. Still, she marked the place down on the physical map she was drawing with pen and paper. The giant plushies made a good sleeping spot, and maybe she could think of something else to wake Shawn up. Plus, Edgar loved the place.

Shortly after leaving Heavenly Toys, Lacie heard a noise. She rushed for a Miracle Station, Charley close behind her. Since Edgar seemed to want to investigate the noise, she went out and picked him up by the scruff of the neck and dragged him in, forcing a surprised squeak out of him.

"Hm? Who's that?" a smooth, familiar voice asked. Lacie climbed onto Charley's shoulders and held up her detached head to have a look through that obnoxiously high hole. It was an ink-covered human wearing overalls and a Bendy mask. Sammy. Shawn had told her that Sammy had been involved in their murders. He might be dangerous- but he might also be knowledgeable. Lacie quietly climbed down and hushed the others. They waited a few minutes before explaining her simple plan. "Follow him."

The others agreed. She sent the other two to look in one direction while she looked in the other direction so that they could figure out where he was going. The others came running back to her, and the three of them ran to catch up. They continued to follow him at a distance.

The area that Sammy was taking them to was not one that Lacie had ever seen before. They passed through an archival section, in which they had to strategically hide among the books as Sammy completed some sort of puzzle with them. Sammy had, on several occasions, nearly gotten a glimpse of them, and it was making him nervous. Before leaving, Sammy had stood at the doorway a few minutes, axe at the ready. For once, Lacie was glad for the fishing-pole abomination that was her head. Keeping her gang safely behind the self by several feet, she left her head just close enough around the corner to see him. Finally, he left, and she began to reel her head in. To her horror, the fishing pole squeaked and groaned loudly, alerting Sammy to their presence. She'd never tried this trick before. She hadn't accounted for this!

"There you are!" Sammy Lawrence yelled. Edgar screeched and cowered behind them. Lacie and Charley began to beat Sammy with their wrench and GENT pipe, but Sammy was much stronger with his axe. After getting hit once, Lacie came up with an idea.

"Play dead," she said. She knew from experience that very few ink creatures seemed to understand them, with their garbled voices. And as she laid on her back as she landed, she hoped that Sammy would not be an exception. She could see Charley was struck and did as he was told. Edgar bit Sammy's hand and got hit, and he stayed wiped out as well. With that, Sammy left. The now slightly battered butcher gang stood up. Lacie cursed herself for deciding to follow Sammy in the first place. Everyone saw them as annoying pests, and they were better off keeping their distance. They waited a few minutes to let Sammy get ahead of them before carrying on.

It wasn't long before they came upon the accounting and finance department of all places. This wasn't of particular interest to Lacie- the chances that this white-collar working environment would hold something that could traumatize Grant back into existence weren't great. But it was their lucky day. As they got closer to Grant's office, Lacie began to hear what sounded like screaming and random noise in Grant's voice- probably an audio log. An audio log implied someone around to play it, so Lacie herded her teammates into another office to wait until they heard the squishing sound of Sammy's inky feet walking down the hall. The audio log had been dropped right outside Grant's office. Once again, Lacie herded the two into his office, pressed play on the tape recorder, and hoped for the best.

---

Joey waited by the door for their Edgar to arrive. It was hard to find quality Edgars, since they had the personalities of children, and sacrificing a child was the one thing he’d never do. Grant Cohen’s personality hadn’t really factored into Joey’s decision. Only two things had: first, he knew the Charley and Barley he’d selected, and second, his job was going badly enough that the trick he was about to pull was believable. Finally, Grant arrived. In his current state of nervousness, looked like a vulnerable prey animal.

“Hello, Mr. Drew.”

Cue a big, friendly smile. “Mr. Cohen. It’s come to my attention that you haven’t been able to do your job properly with the information you’ve been given. Well, I wanted to fix that. Come.”

Joey grabbed Grant's arm and pulled him along. The two men started walking. “You’re not firing me?” Grant asked incredulously.

“Well, no. If that had been all I wanted, I would have just done it on the spot. But no. See, our problem isn’t overspending, it’s you making unnecessary cuts. You know those special projects, right? Well, they’re about to pay off, and then we’ll be off the path to bankruptcy for good. The reason I brought you here tonight was to show you exactly what all those expenses have been going towards.” By now they’d stopped walking. They were in front of the elevator, and Joey was pulling out some sinister-looking cloth and rope.

“That isn’t necessary, Mr. Drew. It’s amazing news! Truly! But I don’t need to know the specifics- just some rough estimates on the numbers, and I promise, I’ll be making much better decisions for this company.”

“You'll have to trust me. What I’m about to show you is entirely essential to your job. And it won’t take any time.”

Hesitantly, Grant put on the blindfold. He felt like he was making the worst mistake of his life. Joey led him onto the elevator. He could feel that they were going down a long way. When they got off, Grant was handed off to someone else, Joey simply saying "hold him for a minute, please," before walking off.

Shawn had spent the last ten minutes straining to get his blindfold off by rubbing it against the bars of his cage. Finally, the blindfold slipped up just enough for Shawn to be able to see. The first thing he saw was Lacie unconscious on the ground. He suppressed a gasp- maybe he could figure out a way to escape if his captors didn't notice him for a while. Shawn took a look around- at the pentagrams on the floor, at Joey dipping a rag in clear liquid, at the dent and bruise on Lacie’s head, and to Sammy, who was escorting Grant to the cage. He faced away and waited until he heard the cage door clang open. Then, he yelled, “Grant, he’s gonna kill us! Help me fight im’!”

Grant, still blindfolded, tore out of Sammy’s arms and landed a surprisingly hard blow to Sammy’s face. Then he ran, tearing off the the blindfold. Sammy caught Grant’s arm, and Grant punched him again. Sammy grabbed his other arm and attempted to hold him against a wall. His squirming made that nearly impossible.  “Joey, backup!” Sammy yelled. Meanwhile, Shawn was dragging Lacie’s body towards the door.

Grant broke out of Sammy’s grip just as Joey was a few feet away from him, and he began to ran over to Shawn before Joey caught him and covered his face in the chloroform-soaked rag. Grant’s eyes rolled back in his head, and Joey put his unconscious body on the ground before going after Shawn.

Shawn was fairly close to escaping now, but he sure as hell wasn’t about to leave Lacie to die. This was it, he thought, putting down her body and putting up his fists. Sammy came at him and attempted to strike his face, but Shawn quickly dodged out of the way. They kept up this pattern of Sammy swinging and missing and getting the occasional punch somewhere uncomfortable, until Joey finally caught the slippery demon and used chloroform on him as well.

The trio all woke up at the same time. Joey had thought that the ritual would go better if they were awake, and with the trouble they’d caused, they weren’t taking any chances. They were each bound and gagged on a pentagram, and they each had to watch as each other’s throats were slit. There was struggling, protest, and screams, all muffled by the gags. Then, the next thing they knew, they were coming out of that machine as abominations.

—

Grant looked down at his three hands, and up at the office around him. Where was he? Where were Joey and Sammy? He screamed and ran into the corner of the room, ready to fight them off. they were nowhere to be seen but he knew they were coming. Shawn took a similar position by his side. Waves of panic rushed over him, as though the high, imposing, ink-splattered walls of his office were closing in on him.

Dad! Dad, we're not there- snap out of it! They're not coming!

It took a while for him to hear the words through his own panicked thoughts, but he eventually calmed down. Edgar was right- he remembered everything that had happened between this and his transformation, and he was safe. In fact, he could feel Edgar's excitement at his return. Sorry, Edgar. For scaring you, I mean. And disappearing. I'm here. I'll make sure you stay safe.

He tugged on Charley's sleeve and silently communicated this discovery to him. Then, they opened the door?

"Shawn? Grant?" Lacie croaked. They nodded their heads. Lacie was driven to tears, and hugged her companions tight. She had a lot to tell them, but it could wait until they were settled for the night.

The trio carried on and eventually found Bendyland, and Lacie was reunited with Bertrum. This place had everything they could need- protection, privacy, the means to light fires and a can in which to do it in, a fair amount of bacon soup, and all the toys that Edgar could want. "We stay," Lacie said, and the other two agreed.

That night during her watch, Lacie wrote a note to the others. It took it a few tries to get it right.

I don't know if you two left me on purpose, or if you just weren't putting in the effort, but never do it again. I know life feels pointless, since we might not ever see the outside of this place, but it does have a point. We are the point. Grant- Edgar needs you. Shawn- I need you  you're nice to have around I need you. And your cartoon characters want to be separated, too. Even if their memories didn't actually happen, they still think like us. Just be glad that you have a cartoon character instead of a demon (and while you're at it, thank me for not giving in and letting it kill you). And anyhow, if either of you ends up legally dead again, you're going back in the office of doom to listen to us dying again. Understood? We're a family, and none of us is going crazy unless all of us are.

[19umbrellas]

Villain I appear to be || Diego Hargreeves x Reader

Description: You were the eighth member of the infamous Umbrella Academy. Your adopted father, Reginald Hargreeves, had raised you and your seven other siblings to fight crime and stop evil, however, as you grew older you found yourself straining farther and farther away from the life of a hero your father always wanted you to be.

This will be a One-shot series or something? I don't really know what it's called. It's like, same title and concept but different stories and pairings per chapter. If that makes sense. ùwú

Pairing: Diego x Reader

Word Count: 2829

ONE-SHOT

Two security guards and their police dog stood at the entrance of the city's most extravagant art museums. CCTV cameras were looming over their heads, turning every so often in order to scan the vicinity for any threats or suspicious behavior.

This museum always had strict security staff since this building contained many priceless art pieces that are worth more than an entire town. Tonight, however, their usual security had increased tenfold because the museum had received a new contemporary piece from one of the world's most well-known artists. It was the newest piece from her and she decided to hold an unveiling party in this very building. She trusted the museum to protect her work and, for good measure, she hired her own defense against robbers.

She paid a good amount of money to a security agency lend her their best men to help protect her most valuable work. She was able to recruit fifteen highly trained soldiers and one special agent who she hired in secret. By nightfall, all the security guards were in their normal positions while the hired guns waited inside for an attack. The place was locked up tighter than most prisons. Even a rat couldn't get in without being shot or mauled by an aggressive German Shephard.

But of course, for you, this is nothing but childs play.

You were crouched on the roof, your entire body blended into the shadows except for your (e/c) eye as you observed the guards below. Scoffing when one of them jumped at the scampering fox. "This is the top of the line security Madame Sol was bragging on about?" you cringed as you shook your head, standing up and walking over to the edge. "Is she trying to mock me?" you silently jumped down behind the two security guards without them noticing. Their dog however instantly perked at the slight sound of your heels hitting the ground. You smirked as you crawled backwards and phased through the wall before the dog could turn around.

You looked up with awe at the architecture of the inside. The last time you were here, you were with your siblings trying to stop a group of thieves from stealing precious art. Oh, how time changes. You smiled to yourself as you took a quick look around before phasing inside one of the huge cylindrical pillars as two men wearing camo uniforms passes by. Once they were distant enough you slowly poked your head out and looked around. When the coast was clear you quietly sprinted out and strategically avoided all the cameras inside.

You pressed your back to the wall as you sneaked a glance over at the two men standing silently in front of a large wooden door. Humming in delight, you suppressed a soft giggle that went up your throat. "This will be fun." you said as you phased into the wall.

The two grunts stood attentively, their eyes glued to what was in front of them. Suddenly a buzz cut through the silence and a strong voice spoke through their radios. "Halpert, Scott, do you read me, over?" the voice said one of them took the radio into his hands and pressed the speak button. "Loud and clear, over." the voice came again. "I might need some back up down at the basement." he said. "I think I saw unauthorized personnel running around. Can one of you come over here, over." the two guards looked at each other and nodded. "I'll be right down, over." the one holding the radio walked away while the other guard stood at the center of their position, not even batting an eye.

After a few minutes, a loud rattling captured the guards attention and he quickly pointed his gun to one of the paintings. A portrait of a woman clad in a black veil was starting to shake violently as it's wooden frame banged on the wall. The guard slowly walked over and stopped in front of it. He inspected it for a minute before he pressed the gun's nose to the painting's frame making it stop moving. He was about to pull his gun away but suddenly a hand shot out of the painting and forcefully grabbed onto his face, covering his mouth as he screamed. (h/c) hair started to poke out as well until suddenly a head was floating right in front of his. The figures face was covered in her hair making her seem more menacing and scary. The guard was having a hard time processing what was happening and had a hard time moving his limbs due to shock and fear. You tilted your head upward a bit, showing him your eyes as you smirked and put a finger on your lips while saying, "Shh, the sun has set. It's time for bed.". The hand you used to cover his mouth suddenly emitted knock-out gas that quickly rendered the poor man unconscious.

You stepped out of the wall and fixed the glove on your hand that still had some fumes leaking out of it. You blew on the flat nozzle on your glove, pushing away all the remaining smoke before you grabbed a hold of the man and hid him in a dark corner. With that out of the way, you dusted your hands and skipped inside the door. "Most secure building in the city my ass." you mumbled cockily as you stood in front of the podium. The room was dark, and the only light source was coming from one spot light that shone above the beautiful ostrich egg that was purely mad with diamonds and other precious stones. You pursed your lips at the piece of art before approaching it. "Not your best work Madame."

You heard a click behind you as you felt a gun pressing to your back when your fingers brushed the luminous egg. "Step away from the egg and put your hands up." your eyes widened for a bit but your shock didn't last long. You chuckled as you turned around. "Congratulations." you said. "You're being very rude." before the man could react you gave him a swift kick on the head and knocked him out. You huffed and turned back to the art piece. "Alright, take two." you lifted up the egg from the bottom and examined it in the light. You mumbled the possible prices you could sell this at as you quietly marveled at its colors.

"So you're the special agent Madame hired?" you suddenly said aloud before placing the egg inside the small messenger bag that you brought with you. "Don't even bother throwing one off your precious knives at me, I'll probably just catch it." You looked to the side as a familiar man walked into the light. Diego crossed his arms. "Haven't heard from you in awhile (y/n). I was scared you might have gotten killed in a dirty alleyway or something." he said sarcastically. You laughed dryly, not taking your eyes off of his hands that both held double-sided knives. "Sorry, Diego, I just didn't have time to call is all. Work has been really hectic lately. You understand, don't you?" you said as you slowly walked backwards but Diego took a step forward everytime you did. "You got dad really worried, you know." he gave you a look when you let out a cackle. "When did you start to care how the old bastard thought?"

"Ever since he told me what you've been doing this past few years." Before you could say anything Diego already threw one of his knives at you but you were able to catch it with ease. You sighed in annoyance as you threw the knife in front of him. "It's been a long night Diego. I don't want to fight you." you said but Diego was already in a fighting stance as he cracked his neck. "Too bad." he lunged towards you and you blocked his fists before it made contact with your body. The two of you fought gracefully around the room, Diego moving more on the offense while you just tried to block all of his blows.

After a while, it didn't look like Diego was backing down and you were starting get impatient. With a strong kick to the stomach you were able to push him a fair amount of distance away from you and you booked it to the nearest wall. As you were about to phase shift you felt your bag tear open and the egg roll on the floor. You stopped and looked down, Diego's knife was pierced on the wall in front of your messenger bag. You huffed and quickly tried to get the egg back but Diego already tackled you to the ground, pinning your arms next to your head. You struggled under his grip but he his hands were too tight and he had pinned both your legs as well.

You huffed in defeat as you finally stopped your squirming and glared daggers at him. "Gotcha." he smirked. "What are you going to do now?" he asked mockingly and your only frown deepened... until an idea popped into your head. "That was a good fight Diego. I gotta admit you've gotten way better since we were teenagers." you smiled up at him but he wasn't buying it. "What are you-"

You cut him off when you leaned upward and kissed him right on the mouth. When you pulled away, Diego was in a state of shock and confusion and you used this to your advantage. You were able to wiggle your leg free and kick him right on the family jewels before pushing him off of you and you grabbed the egg. Diego was holding his crotch as he huffed in pain.

"You know, for a guy, you have really soft lips." you winked as you gave him a two finger salute before phasing walking out of the building.

The next morning, Madame Sol was downright devastated when they found them art work gone and the guard knocked out. The museum received an anonymous message from the thief, threatening her to buy the egg from the thief or else they would sell it to other buyers who were already interested. Madame agreed to pay the money without another even thinking and gave you a rather large metal briefcase in a discreet location. You thanked her for her patronage and with that you happily skipped into the bank where you deposited all your cash into your five different accounts.

Now, you were sitting outside a cozy little cafe, sipping on your favorite drink and eating some (f/f) cake. A waitress stopped by and asked if you needed anything but just smiled and shook your head. It was a quiet day, people were calmly walking down the street and there wasn't a lot of cars driving by. It felt really peaceful. Deciding that you want to go home. You finished off your drink and cake, took out your wallet and left your payment and a tip.

The sun was slowly setting as you neared your apartment building. You looked up at the sky and smiled. Today really was a beautiful day. Suddenly you heard the sound of someone being slammed in a garbage bin in an alleyway right across the street. You stopped in your tracks, looked to the direction of the noise and debated if you should go check it out. Suddenly, screams erupted from the same alleyway and you broke off into a sprint to the other side and pressed your back against the wall. You looked to see what was going on and you saw two men dragging a flailing girl into their van. You cursed under your breath as one of them hit her in the stomach making her cry out in pain. You quickly phased into the wall and waited for them to get the girl inside the van. Once she was inside, they locked the door and banged on it, telling at her to keep quiet.

As they were walking to the front of the vehicle you suddenly jumped out of the wall and slammed into one of them. They hit their head on the van with enough force to knock him out. The other guy took out a pistol and to the other side of the van but there was nothing there other than the his unconscious friend. He frantically searched for the intruder, pointing his gun in every every direction until the doors of the van swung open, hitting him on the head and he fell to the floor. You ran out the van with the girl next to you but before you could reach the street a shot rang through the air and a sudden sharp pain manifested at the back of your stomach. You tripped and your face hit the ground as tears suddenly rolled down your cheeks and your mouth was Coughing out blood.

You felt one of their boots turn your body around and you heard him gasp and laugh in glee. "Holy shit, (y/n) fucking Hargreeves." he crouched down so you see his face more clearly. His stained teeth was smiling down at you his and his eyes were disturbingly yellow. "Ohoho, you are worth so much more than that other slut we almost took." he stood up and laughed as he walked to the van and got something from the back. He said something about catching tuna but they got a great white instead. You couldn't quite comprehend what was happening anymore as the senses of your body started to shut down one after the other.

Suddenly, you could hear man's muffled screaming as the sound of something sharp cut through the air but you didn't pay much attention as you just started up onto the orange sky. A dark figure was now looming over you but you couldn't recognize who it was due to since your eyes were starting to get foggy. When the mystery silhouette kneeled down to you, you couldn't handle the pain anymore and you finally blacked out.

When you finally regained consciousness you heard a sweet voice coming next to you. Your eyes slowly opened and you instantly knew where you were. You've been in here so many times when you were still a child. You look to your side and saw your robotic mother happily cleaning a bloody scalpel. "Mom" you croaked. She looked at you and smile "Hello (y/n) dear. How are you feeling?" Grace asked as she walked over to you. "Well, not dead because of you." you said and she chuckled. "Oh, I can't take all the credit dear. Diego was the one who brought you back here."

"Imagine what would have happened if I came a minute later." A new voice entered the conversation. It turned over to Diego who was leaning on the door frame. "Ah, Diego, my savior, as thankful as I am for your heroism why do you have to be so intense all the time." you shot him a playful smile and he laughed as he shook his head. He walked over and took a seat next to you. Grey smiled as she walked out of the room, giving you two some privacy.

Diego looked at your bandaged stomach as he gently ran his hands over it. "Does it hurt?" he asked concerned. You felt a small twinge of pain as he put pressure on your stomach but it was practically nothing. You shook your head and said no. You were looking at his face as he stared at your wounds. It was silent for a minute or two until you spoke, "Thank you." you stuttered softly. "For saving me." Diego looked at you with a half smile. "Well, it's kind of my job." he responded. "Saving people and breaking bones?" you asked, quoting him. He laughed and nodded. Your happy expression faltered slightly. "Even for a criminal like me?" you asked and he looked at you for a minute before he said, "Nobody's perfect." He smiled as he placed his hand on yours and give it a gentle squeeze. You smiled and he cleared his throat and stood up.

"Anyways," he started "About what happened at the museum." he said and you rolled your eyes. "Oh come on, I already gave the egg back. You can't still be mad about-" he shut you up with a soft but passionate kiss and you instantly kissed back. When he pulled away he rested his forehead on yours. "I've always wanted to do that ever since our first mission together." he whispered and blushed, smiling. You were about to lean in for another peck but then the booming voice of yours father shook the room.

"Number 8! Your recent actions across the city are extremely inexcusable!" he said, standing at the door way. Diego smirked as he stood straight. "Have fun pumpkin." he said as he walked out.

"You fucking prick."

AN:

So here's the first story for, Villain I Appear to be! I decided to write a one-shot series for the Umbrella kids because why not, you know? Don't worry, The Great Escape is still my number one priority so this won't change update time for it. uwu. It's just refreshing to write about other characters. Huhu.

I'll be writing for every single Umbrella kid except for Five because honestly it makes me uncomfortable since his actor is so young. But hey, if ya'll want me to add Five then just DM me or something. uwu. I promise to try my best.

[boxoftheskyking]

Stranger things: Steve holds a pot luck fourth of July barbeque for the gang, everyone forgets to bring something except Jonathan, and El/Jane, who brings a shit ton of eggos. Jonathan and Steve finally reconcile, the party™ man the grill and somehow only burn half the things, and pizza is ordered by the only responsible person there. Star wars: Rose and the people she tazed before Finn got to her. Or the five times Leia was impressively patient and diplomatic, and the one time she wasn't.

Thank you for the prompt! As always I am going to take a teaspoon of it and then run into an entirely different direction, with much love and affection for you.

Here’s some Stranger Things, Steve POV, OT3

—-

Steve, if pressed, would say that they are fine. Him, Nancy, and Jonathan. He’d say they’d reached an understanding, and he isn’t angry and he doesn’t get acid reflux when he sees her kiss Jonathan’s cheek at his locker before heading off the class. He’s eating and sleeping just fine.

Not that anyone would press, as he doesn’t really have, well. Friends. Anymore. Besides the two of them and their gaggle of almost-freshman disasters.

A few weeks after the Whole Thing (the Will-is-Possessed, Dustin-Has-a-Pet-Monster, Dustin-is-Surprisingly-Okay, Eleven-is-Back, Mad-Max-is-Almost-Eleven-Level-Scary, The-World-Almost-Ended Thing), Jonathan cornered him outside the bathroom and said, “Look, man, I’m sorry about how it all went down.”

Steve had blinked at him and said, “I think it all went remarkably well, considering. Miraculous, some might say. Straight up Deus Ex Madonna or whatever—”

“No, I—” Jonathan cut him off, then looked down at his feet like he regretted it. “Machina. I’m not talking about all the, the that, I mean me and Nancy.”

Steve’s stomach lurched up, sending that burning feeling up behind his ribs.

“Oh. Right.”

“We should have talked to you. Or Nancy should have and then I should have waited. It’s just with everything—You know. It was kind of a now or never thing and then—”

“I really don’t need to hear this,” Steve said quickly, and Jonathan flinched. “I mean, it’s fine. You don’t owe me anything. I’d say treat her well, but I know you will, and if you don’t she’s perfectly capable of, you know.” He mimed a shotgun, making a dumb little pew sound. It sounded more like a Star Wars blaster than a shotgun, and he felt ridiculous. 

“Okay. Yeah.” Jonathan jerked a little, almost like he was putting out his hand to shake, but didn’t complete the action.

“Yeah.” 

They stared at each other for a minute, and then Jonathan started to turn away. Possessed by God knew what, Steve said, “It’s probably for the best, anyway. I should be focusing on school. Stuff. School stuff.”

Jonathan looked confused, but he wasn’t walking away.

“I’m not doing well.” He had no idea why he was still talking. “Like, at all. So. More time to study.”

After about a hundred years of Jonathan staring wordlessly at him, Steve finally turned on his heel.

“Great, okay, bye.”

“Hey!” 

Steve stopped but didn’t turn around.

“You can study with us, if you want. Sometime.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah.”

And then Steve had fled.

It had turned into the occasional study session in the library, followed by a more regular meeting at the Byers house. After everything they’d gone through there, it was surprisingly comfortable, and he didn’t feel suffocated by their—whatever. Relationship. Love. Chemistry. Whatever. Not all the time, anyway.

Surprising himself—but not Nancy—he didn’t graduate at the very bottom of his class. He got in to Roane County Tech— “Everyone gets in, Nance.” “That is not true, Steve, and you should be proud of yourself” —which means he can still live in town and work for his dad while taking care of his generals. That’s the plan anyway.

And now the summer’s started and he’s feeling like he has to do something to memorialize the end of the most fucked up chapter of his young life. Hopefully.

So, a Fourth of July barbecue. Two years ago, it would have been the event of the summer, everyone who was everyone from Hawkins High, including alum, would have come out, and there’d be people from towns up to an hour away.

And now it’s Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, and the kids. There isn’t any spiked punch, just sodas and iced tea and a shit ton of Cheetos. 

Jonathan has brought nothing but his camera, though Steve saw him tuck a brown bag away beneath his chair. Mrs. Wheeler sent Nancy and Mike with a pan of hot dish which looks like death but mostly tastes like cheese and gravy. 

Dustin is helping Eleven cook Eggos on the grill, because that’s what normal looks like these days. Lucas tried to fight him for the role of “Grill Master” when it came to burgers and hot dogs, but Max had snatched the tongs away at the last second and proven herself to be more than competent. 

(About a month ago, Steve had a run in with Billy in the school parking lot that he thought was going to turn ugly. Before any blood was spilled, Max had zoomed up, kicked her skateboard up into her hands and glared her brother down. “Steve counts as one of my friends, asshole,” she’d growled, and Billy had spit on Steve’s shoes and taken off.

“Still scared of you, huh?”

Max looked around, then leaned in and said quietly, “Wanna know how I do it?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Every time he starts acting like too much of an asswipe, I wait til he gets really drunk and passes out, and then I sneak into his bedroom and I stand at the end of his bed with my hair all—” she shakes her head so her face is mostly hidden— “and I just point at him and stand super still. And then, Mike gave me this toy he has, this really sick raptor, and when you pull on it’s leg it screeches. So I do that so he wakes up and go all uggghhhhh.” She twists her head and bugs out her eyes, and Steve has to admit it’s creepy as hell.

“That’s fucking disturbing,” he says.

She grins. “He thinks it’s a nightmare. He’s had night terrors for ages.”

Steve wonders if the rest of the kids appreciate how lucky they are to have her on their side.)

Will and Mike are playing some variation of rock-paper-scissors that involves a weird amount of hopping around on one foot and yelling.

Every time he loses, Will gives a delighted little giggle that carries all the way into the house. It makes Steve grin every time. He doesn’t know the little guy very well, but it sure is nice to hear him sounding like a normal thirteen year old.

It’s also nice to see Jonathan’s private little smile every time he hears it.

Steve catches Nancy’s eye just then, and there’s something in her face that tells him she’s noticed him noticing Jonathan. She’s cocks her head thoughtfully, and Steve strategically retreats to the kitchen. He takes a few minutes with his head in the freezer before opening the fridge to grab a beer.

“Whatcha doing?” Dustin asks, and Steve just about throws his beer across the room.

“Jesus Christ!”

“Sorry. Whatcha doing? Can I have one?”

“No, you can’t have a beer.”

“Aw, come on, it’s not like I’m driving.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “No, dumbass.”

Dustin sighs. “Fine. I hope you’re prepared for a bunch of really sugared up and caffeinated kids, though. Because I for one have had six Diet Cokes and I’m not ready to quit.”

“If you have to puke, use the bathroom.”

Steve ruffles his hair and heads back out to the pool.

“Alcohol is a depressant, Steve! You’ll be wishing I was drunk in about an hour, mark my words.”

“Alcohol?” Jonathan is suddenly right at his elbow, and he just about has a heart attack for the second time in as many minutes. Jonathan doesn’t seem to notice, instead snapping a picture of Eleven tripping Lucas into the pool.

“Want a beer?”

Jonathan grins at him. “I can do you one better,” he says. “Think the kids will be okay for a while?”

Steve looks over the group, catching Nancy’s eye and jerking his head towards the house. 

“Hey, little shits!” he yells. “Adults are going inside. No drowning, no wandering in the woods, no setting shit on fire.”

“Okay!” Will shouts back before cannon ball-ing into the pool.

“El,” Steve says. “You’re in charge. Any nonsense, you come find us. Deal?”

She nods seriously at him, and he can’t not smile and give her a little salute.

What Jonathan has is a bottle of Vodka and one of club soda.

“It’s from that Baumann guy. The reporter who broke the story about Barbara. Well, the fake story.”

“Hey, man, I look no horses in the mouth.” Internally, he kicks himself. There’s something about Jonathan Byers that turns him into a complete idiot.

Nancy comes into the den with three glasses and sets herself down beside them, the last corner of their weirdo triangle.

They toast each other wordlessly, grinning at each other after the first burning sip.

“Damn, Wheeler. You make ‘em strong.”

Nancy blushes, but then takes a long swallow without breaking eye contact. Steve’s brain misses a step, free falls.

As Steve is pouring each of them a second drink, he notices Nancy and Jonathan having some kind of wordless conversation. The beer and vodka mix with the acid in his stomach and he doesn’t look up at them after handing back the glasses. He’s about to say something about checking on the kids when Nancy reaches out and puts a hand on his knee.

“Hey, Steve.”

“Hey, Nancy,” he says, and waves, because he is an idiot.

“We were thinking. And talking. Have been talking. For a while.”

“A long while,” Jonathan pipes up. 

Steve looks down at Nancy’s hands. He knows how long they’ve been talking, because he knows how long they’ve been dating, and he really doesn’t need to hear about it.

“Something isn’t right,” Nancy says, and that makes him look up.

“What, like with Will? Eleven? Is that fucking—” he doesn’t realize he’s halfway to his feet until he feels Jonathan’s hand wrap around his wrist and tug him back down.

“No, man, nothing like that. Sorry. That’s not what she means.”

“I mean with us. There’s something not right with me and Jonathan.”

Steve stares at her. There’s no way they’re coming to him for relationship advice. Nancy’s reckless and Jonathan’s a spaz but they’re not cruel, they’ve never been intentionally hurtful. He can’t think of a thing to say, but he must get his point across because Nancy’s face crumples.

“I’m doing it all wrong. I’m saying it wrong. Jonathan, say something.”

Steve suddenly realizes that Jonathan hasn’t let go of his wrist. He looks up, and Jonathan is staring at him, brows furrowed, like he’s trying to read his mind, or figure out some kind of code, or maybe like he’s taking a photo in his head, taking note of the light and shadow and the way Steve’s heart has started bleeding out through his eyes. 

Jonathan doesn’t say anything, but he shifts his hand down to clasp Steve’s fingers. Steve looks down at it, dumbly. Jonathan shifts again, sliding his fingers in between Steve’s, locking them together, palm to palm.

“Is this okay?” he asks, and his voice is dry and scratchy.

“I— Um, okay,” Steve says. 

Nancy moves her hand up from his knee, flattening her palm over his thigh. He looks up at her, then over at Jonathan, then down at both their hands.

“Wait. What?” He feels like he’s on the precipice of something, like he’s taking a timed exam and he knows he could figure out the answer if he just had more time, if he could just be in a quiet room by himself, not listening to twenty-five pencils scratching and the clock ticking and the teacher tapping her heel against the leg of her chair. 

Nancy takes a deep breath and slides her hand up to his hip, then up under his shirt. He stops breathing.

“Okay?” she asks.

“I— I’m not hurt.” He’s not sure why he says it. But he can’t think of a reason for her to— for them to— unless. “I’m fine. Guys, you don’t have to worry about me, I’m—”

Nancy lurches forward and kisses him.

For the first and only time in his life, he doesn’t kiss Nancy Wheeler back. She pulls away and her face is burning red. 

“Do you want—” she starts, then turns to Jonathan. 

Jonathan’s mouth is open, gaping, and his tongue darts out to wet his lower lip and Steve suddenly has something wrapped around his lungs. Maybe the monsters are back, maybe something’s behind him and has just punctured through the center of him, maybe he’s been dead for months and is only just getting the memo.

And then Jonathan is kissing him, and is still holding his hand, and he tastes like vodka and ketchup and something suddenly, finally, slots into place. Steve opens his mouth, probably to say something stupid like “Aha,” or maybe “Eureka” or “Holy goddamn shit,” but Jonathan slips his tongue into his mouth and he can’t say anything but a groan in the back of his throat.

When they break apart, Steve is pretty sure he’s having a heart attack. He can’t seem to catch his breath, and his mouth feels wet and warm and Nancy is smiling at him so widely and simply, no disappointment and no secrets and no shame at all, just happiness. 

And Steve says, broken and quiet and way too exposed, “Really?”

And Nancy tackles him to the ground, kissing his cheek and his neck and giggling into his ear, “Yes, yes, Steve, yes.” And Jonathan still has his hand, and he let’s himself be pulled down next to them, laughing, with his hair in his eyes. And somehow Steve has an armful of each of them and he shuts his eyes and breathes in, full and healthy and strong, it feels like, for the very first time.

[imnotasuperhero]

Can’t stop thinking ‘bout you (even tho I try) A Trimberly story.

Trini had spent the whole morning trying to avoid her friends. Last night was some shitty time, and the amount of makeup she needed to cover the bags under her eyes was out of proportions. After finishing her test, she packed her things into her bag and headed to the café near campus. Headphones on and some random playlist kept her distracted while she walked.

"Where are you? I've been looking for you all morning."  The message came in the middle of her singalong.

"If it isn't important, I prefer to stay missing."  Quick fingers typed a reply before she could ever think about being subtle.

"You better practice, then. You really suck at hide-and-seek," Zack said in her ear, making her jump.

"Jeez, Zack! Stop doing that." Trini tried to calm her heart. Her pulse was out of control.

"Stop hiding, Crazy Girl," Zack replied placing his arm around her shoulders. "Would you tell me what's bothering you?"

"I barely slept last night due to an exam. I'm just cranky." She entered the cafe sighing loudly. She only wished to be calm today. She just wanted a day to herself. But no. Karma was messing with her. Again.

"Weird. Kim had said the same thing to us." Zack raised an eyebrow.  "You sure it's just because of your exam?" And this is what Trini meant. All the questions she couldn't answer. "Talk to me, Trin. Stop keeping the thing to yourself.” Zack tilted his head, his eyes filled with concern. Trini analyzed his words, wondering if he was right. Last night was nothing but a big mistake. A mistake she would regret for the eternity. Last night was the opposite to Zack's words. Last night was a living nightmare.

"Please?" Zack begged, squeezing her hand forcing Trini to look at him.

"Kim knows everything." Her voice was a whisper, afraid of the event coming true if she raised her voice. "She knows everything and I feel the biggest dumbass in the world. She knows everything and she ran. She left me behind without even yelling at me." Trini felt her heartbreaking as the words came out. The incident playing in her mind like the tragedy it was.

------------------------------------------------------------

"NO! STOP IT NOW!" Trini yelled at her, fighting to escape the embrace.

"Not till you tell me what gets you so absorbed," Kim laughed, still tickling her.

"I will never!" the shorter girl said. Her hands grabbed Kim's in a quick move, her faces inches away as their eyes were locked into each other. "You should live with the intrigue, Princess." Trini cleared her throat before releasing her friend's hands.

"Oh, come on! You love me. You can't keep me clueless." Kim's words clicked something in Trini's head.

"Yes, I can. Even if I love you." For a minute, she felt safe saying those three words. Those same three words that threatened to leave her lips for the last 5 years. Even she was surprised by the patience she had inside her.

"What could be that bad for you to not tell me?" Kim sighed, sitting on the edge of Trini's bed.

"If I tell you, I should kill you," Trini sing sang, hoping for Kim to quit this questionnaire.

The look she got from her friend made her tremble. How could she tell her this without being hurt in the process? How could she speak the words if it'll break them apart? She was sure that losing their friendship was something that-

"Por favor!" Kim begged, taking Trini's hands in hers. Her eyes begging for an answer. Trini knew right then and there that she had lost the battle. And boy, she hated herself for that.

"I..." she tried to find the words. She turned her gaze away from Kim's eyes. This was too hard to say. "I love you," she sighed, fear in her voice. "I love you and I can't help it. No matter how hard I've tried, you got under my skin and by now I'm at your feet. Completely." Her hand released its grip. The warmth beside her, disappearing in a blink.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I have to go." Kimberly rushed to the door, exiting the room at the time Trini spoke gain.

"Of course you have." Her eyes already in tears. The sound of her heart shattering filling his ears. Her world destroyed because she couldn't fight back the words.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Maybe she froze," Zack said caressing her hand with his thumb.

"Of course she did. Who wouldn't if their friend declared them their love?" Trini fought back the tears at the memory.

"You should talk to h-"

"No. No way am I throwing myself to my imminent death. It is what it is and I have to move on." Trini sentenced before grabbing her bag. Her food unfinished as she stood up. "I'm gonna take the day since my classes are over." She left Zack with the words in his mouth.

.....................................................................................

"Miss Hart. Could you please pay attention?" her teacher asked with a sigh.

"Of course. I'm sorry." Her cheeks red as she felt Jason poking at her ribcage.

"Yes, pay attention or you'll fail,” he teased her. A smirk on his face.

"Ugh. Shut up, Scott" Her mind was absent from classes all day.

Trini's words replaying in her head like a tune you hate so much and your brain keeps playing it over and over again. But this time, the words warmed her heart. Also, those same words fried her brain. She couldn't think. She couldn't speak her mind. She just left her alone. She escaped the situation like a coward. She witnessed the moment in which Trini's heart broke into pieces. She was the one to blame. She was the one who hurt her best friend for nothing. She was the monster she always promised Trini to fight. She panicked and she left. She ran from her love just because she was shocked. She hated herself for being such a loser. She felt things for Trini yet, she let the fear command her. Her bad side took over her, leaving not just one, but two broken hearts.

"I can see the smoke, ya know?" Jason sighed loudly. "You should talk to her." He stood up as the bell rang.

"She avoided us all day, Jason. She doesn't want to see me." Kim shook her head in defeat.

"You don't know that. Yes, she's hurt. Yes, you screwed it up. But she doesn't hate you," Jason finished before Zack and Billy got to their side.

"Hey, Kimmy" Zack's greeted her with a side hug. "You really suck."

"Thanks for speaking wisely," Kim said looking at the floor. "Is she alright?"

"Define alright," Billy spoke suddenly. "She saluted me with a wave. No words at all. And Trini greeting you without a word means that she's struggling with-"

"We know Billy. We know her." Jason squeezed Billy's shoulder, making him understand that he wasn't mad.

"Right. I'm sorry," Billy offered Kim a warm smile, getting a sided smile in return.

"You should really get your shit together. She deserves to be happy and I know you want to be the one." Kimberly felt the pressure of her friends.

Zack was right. She's been dreaming with Trini for a long time now. She could barely avoid staring at her. And when she used her glasses? Oh boy, Kim felt her body trembling at the sight.

"Alright. Wish me luck." She tightened the grip on her bag "See you later."

"Come on, girl. Answer me." Her frustration getting the worst of her as the voice mail appears again; for the fifth time. She decided it was a waste of time trying to call her, speeding her steps toward Trini's room.

One knock on the door... two knocks on the door... The door opened revealing Trini's roommate, who stared at her raising an eyebrow.

"She's not here," was all she got from Lea as the door closed again.

Kimberly could feel herself freaking out, thinking in all the places she could find Trini. The first place she checked was the tree behind the building D. The place was one of Trini's favorite spots to just stay calm and look at the sky, only soft words where allowed. Kimberly found nothing... The library came next. Trini loved to keep herself busy learning about different stuff and reading different stories. It was something usual for Trini to tell tales to Kim when she was sad or has had a bad dream. Even with the boys, Trini invented scary stories, always with a plot twist that got them all laughing for hours.

Kimberly loved the way Trini made her feel safe. Trini was always there for her, even when she got so wasted that the poor girl woke up at 2 am. and had to ask for Jason's car to get Kim back to her dorm safe and sound. An incident that Trini never forgot in order to get free donuts from Kim whenever she felt down.

She was really lost in her memories that when she blinked back to reality, she was on the Cliff. Of course, Trini would be here! Tai chi always calmed her, Kimberly loved to observe her practicing it. Of course, from the shadows. Her favorite was the Chen style. It was cute, even hot, the way in which Trini turned a soft move into an explosive one in just a blink. Just like Trini was doing in this exact moment.

"You never taught me to do that," Kimberly felt her voice tremble with fear.

"You can't do this without knowledge." Trini stopped suddenly in the middle of the move. A loud sigh leaving her lips.

"Do you think you could teach me?" Kim asked with a soft smile. Which had disappeared instantly.

"I suck at teaching," Trini answered, avoiding Kim's eyes.

"Look..." Kim knew better than anyone that Trini was a straight to the point person. "About last night... I know I-"

"Don't. Please don't," Trini shook her head, her voice shaking. "No need to be all soft on me. I screwed it up and I want to face the result with the less amount of pain possible." She sat at the edge of the Cliff, legs hanging in the air. "I deserve better than pity. I've already suffered enough during the last years to get you feeling pity over me." Her gaze on the horizon, where the sun started to set to let the night take over the sky.

"Pity is the last thing I feel for you." Kim sat right beside Trini. Arms touching. Something that if Trini was bothered about, she didn't notice. "Last night I panicked." Kimberly closed her eyes and allowed herself to speak the words. "I panicked because the thoughts I've been having for you were reciprocated. I panicked because I realized that the girl I've always liked, liked me back. I panicked because the fear of not being enough for you took over me at the sound of your words. I panicked because I know that you deserve more than this bimess."

"Sometimes, what you deserve and what you want isn't the same thing," Trini spoke after seconds of silence. Seconds that, to Kimberly, felt like hours. Her eyes still on the sunset.

"Trini." Kimberly took Trini's hand in hers. Something that had become normal to them. "Look at me, please," she begged. Trini obeyed. Her eyes were filled with pain. But there also was hope. A little flame of hope, dancing in the dark. Kim loved to watch at Trini's eyes. They really were open windows to the girl's inside. Only if you were important for her, you could always spy on. "I know you're pretty upset at me and-"

"I'm not upset, Kim. I could never be," Trini's bottom lip trembled unnoticed.

"Thing is... I like you, Trini. I like you and I can't stop thinking about you. Even though I try to think about something else... You always return to my mind. And to be honest, it's bothering me," Kimberly sighed as she blinked her tears away. "I know this could be hard, but I want you to know that I'll be waiting until you decide whether if you can take me in, or if you prefer to break apart. I just want you to know that... Look me in the eyes. Please." Kimberly took Trini's chin with her index and thumb, making eye contact. "I want you to know that you're everything a girl could ask for. You're everything I need and everything I want. You're the one who makes me happy. You're the one who brings me joy in the saddest day. You're the one who keeps me safe from all my demons. And there's no one else who could make me feel at peace. Not in the darkest night. Not in the scariest dream", Kimberly noticed Trini's tears. She brushed them apart with a soft touch. "I hope it isn't too late. But I want you to know that I love you, I've been loving you for a while now and I can't forgive myself for what I did to you. You mean so much more than my best friend, Trini. You mean everything and more."

And just like that, Trini leaned over and kissed her. An affectionate kiss. Full of shyness, full of love... full of untold promises.

Both girls cherished the moment and kept it safe in their memories forever. That kiss was, without doubts, the start of something new.

[thesecretfandom]

At First Light: One Year Ago (Prologue)

A/N: I’m very excited to announce At First Light, my Riverdale/Until Dawn AU fic! This has been a huge project for me, challenging and fun. There are a few things you should know before you begin reading. At the end of each chapter you will have a choice (In the form of two options that will link you to the next chapter). Each choice you make will affect the events of the story, so be careful. Also, I will warn you that this is based on a horror game, so I tried to make it as scary as possible. If that’s not your cup of tea, read at your own risk. Otherwise, enjoy!

Word Count:  ~30,000 for entire fic.

Rated: M

Warnings: Horror Themes, Major Character Death

Summary: One year ago a group of friends gathered together at the family lodge on Mount Blossom. When one friend, and brother, goes missing on their night of fun, their lives are changed forever. Now, a year later, the remaining eight friends have gathered again to celebrate the life of their friend, until all hell breaks loose. It’s up to you to decide. Who will survive Until Dawn? Choose wisely. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

“Gather ‘round ladies and gents!” Cheryl Blossom announced theatrically. She made up one half of the twins hosting the party at the lodge on top of Mount Blossom, formerly Thornhill Mountain. The girl with the bright red hair stood in front of the massive fireplace in main living space of her family’s extravagant lodge. Next to her stood her brother, Jason. They were as identical as two twins of opposite gender could be. Skin as white as the snow that fell all over the mountain that cold January night, their hair the same hue of red, almost unrealistically vibrant.

“We’ve invited you all here this weekend to celebrate friendship in a world of fantasy!”

Jason threw an arm around his sister. While Cheryl was loud and exuberant, Jason was a bit more quiet and laid back. They balanced each other out.

“What Cheryl means to say… alcohol is in the kitchen. We have beer, wine, tequila, whiskey, and vodka, as well as various mixers. Food. We have chips, popcorn, trail mix, and whatever else you can find in the cupboards. Nothing is off limits tonight, just don’t jump into the fire or hurt yourself in anyway.” Jason glanced around at the other seven people gathered around him. Josie and Archie cuddled in a recliner, Reggie had already cracked open a beer in the kitchen, Veronica perched on the back of the couch where Kevin sat awkwardly between Jughead and Betty, who kept throwing secretive glances at each other behind Kevin’s back. It was really a ragtag group of friends. Each with such a unique personality that even Jason didn’t understand how they’d all become best friends. “So, no rules tonight. Have fun!”

Cheryl stepped forward, regaining the spotlight. “Speaking of fun… we’re going to be playing truth or dare! And this isn’t some middle school game we’re playing. If your truths or dares aren’t rated at least PG-13, I will give you one rated R.” Cheryl stuck her hands defiantly on her hips. “No arguing, hostess rules.”

The wind howled and the creaky old windows rattled. A loud crash exploded from the kitchen.

“Sorry, dude.” Reggie was standing in small puddle surrounded by shards of glass. “The wind just kind of freaks me out.”

“Jesus, Reg.” Jason sighed. He left his spot in front of the fireplace to walk into the smaller, but no less extravagant kitchen. “The night has yet to begin and you’re already destroying my property.” He joked.

The night proceeded just as any other party made up of nine high school seniors may be expected.

“Jughead, you haven’t had a turn yet.” Archie slurred.

“Ah yes, Jughead. Truth… or Dare?” Cheryl crooned.

“Do I seriously have to participate in this stupid game?” Jughead was as sober as it gets. After dealing with an alcoholic father for most of his life, there was no amount of peer pressure that would get him to take even a sip of the beer Archie had forced into his hand.

“If you don’t choose, I’ll choose for you.” Cheryl replied with a smirk. “Choose wisely. Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you, just this once.”

“Fine, give me a dare.” Jughead shifted on the lumpy couch. The Blossom’s had really let the place go in recent years. He remembers when they were kids coming up here every weekend in the summer, bunk beds set up in two of the many bedrooms the lodge boasted. Cheryl and Jason’s parents had stopped their regular trips to the mountain, so now the one time of year this mountain was inhabited was when these nine teenagers gathered here each January for a weekend of skiing, drinking, and for some of them… sex.

“That’s my kind of answer.” The room was silent. Everyone in the room waiting for Jughead’s sentencing. Not once had he ever participated in one of Cheryl’s games, so something must’ve made tonight different. “I’ve got the perfect dare for you. Jughead Jones, I dare you to…kiss Betty Cooper on the lips.”

Betty’s cheeks turned a shade of bright pink, while Jughead’s eyes widened to twice their usual size.

“Go on.” Cheryl crossed her arms over her chest. “Pucker up.”

Jughead glanced at Betty, Kevin still sitting between them. “Do you mind?” He said to the boy sitting in his way.

Kevin hopped out of his seat so quickly, it was as if his pants were on fire. He immediately took a seat next to Veronica, though he stared blatantly at Betty and Jughead as the black haired boy leaned closer to Betty.

“It’s just a stupid game.” Jughead whispered. Betty nodded slightly and Jughead placed his lips on hers for a split second before pulling away. Betty’s cheeks had already turned a brighter shade of pink.

“What did I say?” Cheryl said. “PG-13 at the least. That kiss wasn’t even good enough for a Disney princess. Try again.”

Jughead glared at Cheryl and wondered yet again why he’d allowed himself to be dragged into this game. Cheryl fixed him with an equally as intimidating stare, tapping her foot impatiently. Jughead glanced around the room with the hope that someone would talk her out of this so he could go back to hiding in a corner like he was used to. All of this attention, it just wasn't…

Betty interrupted his thoughts. She suddenly leaned into him, kissing his lips. It was barely more than a peck,  but apparently enough to satisfy the Ice Queen Cheryl. She threw up her arms in defeat and finally sat down next to her brother.

“You’re up, JJ.”

Jason cringed at his sister’s nickname for him. Eighteen years old and their childhood nicknames could not be shaken. He took a swig from his beer to drown out the reminders of his childhood. Being a Blossom wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Not that anyone would believe a rich kid like himself had any problems, but Cheryl understood. Maybe that’s why they were so close.

“I’ll take a dare too. But maybe be a little more original this time?”

“I’ve got one for you.” Josie piped up. “I dare you, Jason Blossom, to go out to the guest cabin and back. And you have to bring something back from the cabin so you can prove it.”

“Easy peasy.” Jason set his beer on the coffee table and walked toward the door. He pulled his black, winter coat off of a hook, zipping it tightly and donning the hood. “See you on the other side.”  He offered up a military salute before disappearing into the freezing night air.

Jason walked briskly down the well known path to the guest cabin. The wind howled through the trees, blistering cold wind whipping over his cheeks. His feet crunched through the rapidly hardening snow as he struggled against the cold.

A loud crack startled Jason and he stumbled backward as the large oak on his left succumbed to the winter storm and fell with a crash in front of him.

“Shit…” Jason brushed snow off of his pants as he stood. The oak tree was now blocking the entire path. He’d have to climb over if he wanted to complete his quest. In the distance, Jason could hear the crunch crunch crunch of footsteps. “What the fuck, guys?”

He was sure it must be his friends following him into the woods to scare him. The footsteps got louder as they got closer. Jason frantically looked around; no one on the path behind him, no sign of anyone in the woods surrounding him, was that a shadow behind that tree?

“Very funny, guys.” Jason back up until his back hit the trunk of the fallen tree. “This wasn’t part of the dare. Go back to the lodge!” He was shouting against the wind, but he could still distinctly hear the footsteps as someone appeared from behind the tree, and it wasn’t one of his friends.

“What the fu-?” Jason turned, scrambling over the tree trunk. A branch caught his legs and he stumbled. The man was still following him, and Jason ripped himself free. He sprinted as fast as his freezing joints would carry him through the woods.

He left the trail, hoping the congestion of the thick forest would slow down the man chasing him. Sharp branches ripped at his body. He felt a slow trickle of blood drip down his cheek, but he had to keep running. He didn’t even know where he was anymore when he suddenly burst out of the forest and slid to a stop overlooking a steep drop-off. The cliff had to be three stories high, with a spattering of rocks gathered at the bottom.

Jason didn’t know where to go. He couldn’t turn back, or the man might catch him, but he would surely die if he tried climbing down the steep cliffside. He didn’t have time to make a decision because the dark shadow of a man emerged from the woods. He stepped slowly toward the boy quivering on the edge of the cliff. He was holding a gun in his arms, his face covered by a gas mask. The strange man slowly lifted an arm to the boy, but didn’t step any closer. It looked like he was trying to…

A series of loud crashes and screams came from the woods and the man spun on his heel, gun lifted as he shot out a burst of flame that didn’t quite reach the trees. When he spun around the man caught a glimpse of the terrified boy as he slipped and disappeared from view. His screams lasted far too long; the man waiting until he stopped screaming before walking to the cliffside and taking a knee. The boy was nowhere to be seen, but he knew the fall would have broken his body and soon… the snow would erase any sign that he’d ever been here.

—————————————-

“JJ should be back by now, don’t you think?” Cheryl was pacing back and forth, having called off their game of truth or dare when Jason left. “It’s been an hour. He should be back!”

CHOICE

Send Archie and Reggie to look for him.

Wait until the morning. 

[yogaadvise]

21 reasons to practise yoga in the morning

Our goals as well as great purposes fresh Year resolutions are frequently based around coming to be better as well as healthier, a lot more satisfied and without (adverse) practices. When we release one behavior however, there's frequently a gaping opening left in its place, which is why things like stopping smoking cigarettes, alcohol, sugar, delicious chocolate, meat or anything else you've decided to move away from is so tough, there's absolutely nothing to take its place.

There's usually a factor we develop routines in the first location, they serve an objective. Our practices can help alleviate tension or supply some sort of amusement, they often make us really feel good or subconsciously give a complacency. Habits aren't unnecessary, they're simply not always helping us to be our very best selves ...

Out with the old, in with the new

In order to allow go of unhelpful behaviors, brand-new ones have to be placed in their location which provide similar benefits to the mind as well as body, which is where the method of yoga comes in. As increasing psychological clearness as well as leisure, yoga additionally has the added advantages of boosting the launch of endorphins (happy hormonal agents) and making the body a more literally comfy place to live in.

If you get involved in the habit of practising yoga exercise each morning for 21 days, there's a chance you'll proceed (perhaps even for the remainder of the year?) and also you'll most definitely thank on your own for it by the time the following New Year comes around.

I've enlisted the aid of some of my pupils and yoga instructor friends that practise in the morning - as well as offering you some support from the web pages of the old Yoga exercise Sutras and also Ayurvedic messages - so you can figure out for yourself why expanding varieties of people begin their day with yoga, as well as the factors they select to do it!

1. Set your intention

At the start of several yoga exercise classes, we're offered the chance to set an objective for the method. This could be a purpose to practice with generosity towards the body if its feeling tired, to practise focusing the mind into serenity, or an intent to step outside your convenience area to create self-trust and also self-confidence. Whatever it may be, this objective has the capability to form the remainder of your day, as well as will certainly provide you an emphasis throughout the hrs that comply with. It's primarily like setting a Brand-new Year's resolution every early morning, although it may be a little easier to keep this set for 24 hr in contrast to 365 days ...

2. Salute the Sun

Traditionally, the practice of Surya Namaskar (sunlight salutations) was executed at dawn, as a means to welcome the sun and also the arrival of a new day. By being conscious of the rhythms of the natural world as well as practising as the sunlight climbs, we use our own all-natural rhythms too.

Many people are so caught up on the planet of technology and work that we neglect we as well belong of nature and also today routine is a pointer of our more all-natural state.

3. Get rid of the Fuzz

Dr Gil Hedley discusses brilliantly in his online talk that in order for the body to be efficiently healthy and balanced and also really feel physically excellent, it is essential to relocate at the start of the day. Overnight, our muscles rest and while they're stagnating, layers of connective tissue as well as physical fluid - fondly called 'fuzz' - builds up in between them. That desire to extend we get upon waking is essentially an act of launching the unclear develop found between muscular tissues. If we do not relocate and stretch nevertheless, this layer continues to thicken and also develop, causing rigidity, persistantly 'tight' muscles as well as typical pains and discomforts.

4. Don't start stressed...

We know exactly how it feels to jump out of bed after striking the snooze button one-too-many times as well as rushing about in the morning - our nerve system absolutely understands just how it feels all-too-well ... Offering yourself an added hr or half a hr in the early mornings to awaken and practice will certainly permit your nerve system to begin the day in a much more loosened up state. Our levels of cortisol (the tension hormonal agent) are already high in the mornings in order to provide us the boost we need to awaken. If this level of cortisol is swiftly boosted with added tension nonetheless, we've set ourselves up for a similarly stressful day. Making the technique of yoga exercise a practice each early morning enables the body to enter the routine of switching off the supportive 'fight or flight' tension action, and also rather able to finally touch right into the recovery benefits of the parasympathetic nerves - raising the health and wellness of both body and mind exceptionally.

5. Negate the need for coffee

Yoga has a great way of offering the exact function we require, it can be recovering and pleasantly relaxing, yet it can also be boosting and energising. Also if you're tired upon waking, a morning yoga exercise practice is guaranteed to make you really feel much more conscious and active. Specific poses and also practices to construct energy consist of sun salutations, backbends as well as spins.

6. Activate your army

The disease-fighting white blood cells in the body have the ability to do their best when our blood flow as well as lymphatic system has effective flow. By relocating a method that feels good first thing in the morning, we essentially 'awaken' all the body's systems, which enhances the flow of flow as well as offer the body immune system an instant increase. Mild inversions like Viparita Karani (boosts the wall pose) are particularly efficient for boosting the body immune system, so be sure to add these into a winter season early morning practice.

7. Get happy

As well as improving your blood circulation and also body immune system, the state of mind boost received through a yoga

practice is one of the most valuable factors to practice in the mornings. In a study performed by the Yoga Biomedical Count On London, 94% of participants with anxiousness were significantly aided by exercising yoga exercise consistently each early morning, and also 82% of those with sleeping disorders reported useful advantages also.

8. Me-time

Especially if you're a moms and dad, or your task requires managing or taking care of others, it can be difficult to feel as though you have actually had any type of time to yourself. That additional amount of time in the early morning is a way to reveal on your own not just that you appreciate yourself, however about others too. In order to give our power out on the planet, it's vital we have sufficient within us to begin with. An early morning yoga practice is a means to know you've done something for yourself that day - whether it was for five mins or an hour.

9. No more procrastination

If you're the kind of individual who establishes that New Year's resolution to be healthier yet you never seem to get around to it - this is among the ideal methods to tackle it. Making your morning yoga exercise practice the really initial point on your order of business of the day ensures you'll get it done first and won't end up sensation guilty concerning not having actually practiced that day. Attaining something early in the day is additionally a wonderful method to construct self-confidence and also a sense of self-worth. It takes a little discipline in the beginning, but also Aristotle said 'Through discipline comes flexibility'.

10. Practice meditation for psychological clarity

A early morning yoga technique does not have to be all concerning the poses, meditating is a yoga exercise with unrestricted benefits, and also starting your day with even a few mins can have extensive impacts quickly. Ending up being aware of our thoughts and observing them rather than getting captured up in them at the start of the day makes us even more able to choose whether those ideas are needed or not, as well as from there we're able to tap into this throughout the remainder of the day a lot more quickly. The behavior of watching thoughts as opposed to getting captured up in them is one of one of the most beneficial routines we can get involved in, and also it'll identify our activities quickly: a tranquility as well as grounded person makes different daily decisions to a stressed out and also distressed person!

11. Positive points

If you're brand-new to meditation and also the mind is a little as well scary to observe at the moment, the method of stating affirmations silently or out-loud can be really effective as well as recovery. The word 'affirmation' is defined as 'em otional support', and additionally the act of affirming and making something stable. By reciting expressions such as 'I am tranquil', 'I am serene', 'I am strong', 'I am powerful' right at the beginning of the day, we give ourselves a feeling of stability as words and also ideas similar to this promptly effect the body and also mind. Our thoughts and words create chain reactions in the body - a pleased thought will certainly urge the body to create 'delighted' chemicals, and also an unfavorable idea will certainly encourage the body to believe it needs to produce 'adverse' chemicals. Enter the behavior of reciting affirmations as well as your mind will actually're- cord' itself.

12. Take a breath Below Now to Be Below Now

Breath awareness - i.e. concentrating intently on each inhale as well as exhale and noticing the quality of the

breath - is an immediate means to bring us right into today minute. Leslie Kaminoff accomplished when he claimed ' The body attempts to keep the past, the mind attempts to take us right into the future. It is the breath that keeps us present'. When the mind is busy and over flowing with ideas or chitta vrittis, paying focus to the breath brings us out of the catch of the mind and into reality. While thoughts and ruminations are commonly absolutely nothing to do with the circumstance right before us, the breath is a suggestion of something that is actual, something that it right here as well as now. Movements within a yoga exercise practice are generally launched by an inhale or exhale, so by moving with the breath, we move into the present minute. A shallow breath, held high up in the upper body indicates stress and likewise triggers the body's stress and anxiety reaction, whereas much deeper 'stubborn belly breathing' where the abdomen is permitted to broaden and also loosen up with the breath, soothes the nerve system and also brings the body and mind right into the existing leading to an even more kicked back state of being. If breath understanding can come to be a practice, we'll ultimately be able to use it instantly with the day to end up being much more aware and to life.

13. Boost digestive fire

Yoga's sis scientific research Ayurveda states that our total health is determined by the health and wellness of our digestive system. We can drink all the eco-friendly shakes we like and also eat organic meals, yet if the body can not appropriately soak up, assimilate and make use of those nutrients - it's a little like placing your food straight in the rubbish bin ... By practicing yoga exercise in the morning, the body's metabolism is increased, therefore is the gastrointestinal system or Agni, known as 'digestive fire'. When circulation of the systems is improved as well as the internal body organs have actually been carefully massaged by yoga exercise stances, the gastrointestinal system is much more effective at launching toxic substances as well as correctly metabolising the nutrients from our foods.

14. Boost brainpower

Focussing early in the early morning may not be something we're all accustomed to, yet it's dramatically useful for heightening our productivity as well as awareness throughout the rest of the day. If you find it hard to focus at the workplace or school, spend a long time practicing breath recognition and a couple of mildly tough yoga poses, as well as your mind will certainly have woken up in no time!

15. The early hours....

The conventional yogic texts specify that the hours between 4am and also 6am are most conductive for meditation and yoga technique since the mind goes to its most still and the rest of the world hasn't yet sprung into activity, so there's a feeling of serenity airborne. If these hours are a little too early for you, after that ...

16. Become a 'morning person'

If you're not the kind to leap out of bed to greet the new day, then this new practice could make you one ...! A specialized early morning method permits those people that could quite easily rest the day away to take advantage of this time when it or else may have gone to throw away. Equally as it's the yoga displays we appreciate the least that we truly need to exercise, it's the disciplines we wouldn't generally select that can truly offer us one of the most. Life is short and it's a quite valuable thing, so as opposed to oversleeping as well as squandering the day, make a practice of obtaining up a little earlier to reintroduce yourself to the morning time.

17. Prolong the benefits

If you usually practice evening yoga courses, consider including early morning methods or switching your practice to the early morning time for 21 days - this way you'll be able to really feel the advantages of the practice for far longer. Undoubtedly a day of enhanced breath awareness, the ability to be existing, much healthier food digestion, boosted circulation and improved mood are much better put to utilize throughout the numerous hours of the day than the few hrs prior to going to bed?

18. The internal globe produces the external world

The Buddha is popular for claiming that our experience of the globe around us is entirely created by our minds. You might observe just how the world appears to unbelievely alter the minute you tip out of your yoga course. Individuals on the street appear friendlier, your family is easier to quadrate, the options you make are more lined up with a healthier life, and also your manager is great! Below's a tip, it's not the world that has altered, it's your mind ... Begin the day by developing a favorable environment within on your own, as well as the outer environment will be a whole lot extra favorable also.

19. Know thyself

A morning technique is the ideal means to measure whether your activities off the mat are having a positive or unfavorable influence on your physical, psychological and psychological wellness. If you feel 'heavy' during an early morning practice, there's a chance last evening's supper had not been absorbed properly or you consumed a little far too late. If your body is exhausted as well as hurting, it's a message you've been pressing on your own as well hard and require to spend some time to bring back, as well as if you observe your mind is concentrated on one specific thought or fear throughout meditation, after that you recognize it's time to listen as well as take activity. By practicing yoga exercise stances daily, you'll also see yourself alter as the toughness as well as flexibility of both body as well as mind greatly improve.

20. Get a move on

If your day is mostly invested resting at a workdesk or in a cars and truck, a morning yoga exercise is just the medication your body

has been trying to find. Stances like backbends are effective for 'un-doing' all the stooping as well as slouching we commonly subconsciously do throughout the day, as well as can help open up the muscle mass surrounding the hips, which are a typical location of stress due to long hrs of resting. By exercising in the early morning, we additionally remind ourselves of what it resembles to stand with healthy and balanced posture, so you'll begin to discover when you're slouching more usually and prevent pain in the back prior to it also occurs!

21. Start Now

A yoga exercise technique has no pre-requisites, you do not need to be flexible, strong, slim, vegan or any type of various other stereotype attached to 'yoga individuals'. All you have to do is be you and let the practice do the rest. A yoga exercise practice is not regarding attaining the capability to do remarkable stances, not is it concerning being able to being in reflection for hrs and also hrs, it has to do with figuring out who you are below the poor practices that have accumulated gradually, the babbling mind and also the hurting body. It's concerning being your authentic self. As the claiming goes ' Begin with where you are. Utilize what you have. Do what you can'.

Make it simple to select your early morning course by adhering to among our early morning yoga exercise programmes like 30 Mornings of Yoga

[ordinaryschmuck]

Why I (Want To) Love Amphibia

Salutations random people on the internet who probably won't read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons. If you've been paying attention to my posts, you would have known that I made a top twenty list of the best-animated series of the 2010s. And if you read my Honorable Mentions list, you would have known that I consider Amphibia one of those shows that, while I like it, I wouldn't go so far as to say that it's one of the best. Don't get me wrong. It's good. But there are issues that I have with Amphibia, and I can't recommend it without being hesitant. I still like it fine, but I doubt some people will be as forgiving as me. So I'm going to explain the quality and faults that the show has, while still being considerate to those who do love it. Because unlike some people who would make a two-hour-long video essay about how much they hate something, I can at least acknowledge that while something doesn't entirely work for me, that doesn't mean it won't work for everyone else. Because there is a reason why this show has such a following...I don't think it's earned, but I won't knock people down when they love something I find passable. And I hope that respect goes both ways as I explain why I (want to) love Amphibia.

Also, this review is going to contain spoilers for the entire series. So if you haven't checked it out yet, I recommend you do it to form your own opinion. Season one is on Disney+, and you're on your own for season two. And I suggest you find a legal way to watch it if you can, because I'm not going to leave a link to a pirating website filled with every animated series and movie you can find. And I'm definitely not going to insert that link into a random letter in this review with the thought that if you have to pirate something, then you might as well work for it. Because that would be crazy.

...

Stop being crazy.

....

Anywho, let's start with:

WHAT I LIKE

The Comedy: Let it be known that this show is funny. Like, really funny. I wouldn't go so far as to say that it's funnier than Gravity Falls, which got me chuckling with every episode, but Amphibia definitely hits more than it misses. There are occasions when the jokes aren't really character-oriented and could be said by anybody in the Plantar Family, but if they're still funny, then who am I to complain. Although there is one issue that I have with the comedy. But I'll save that for when I talk about what I don't like. For now, I can assure you that if you're hoping for some laughs, Amphibia has plenty to offer.

Warnings Against Toxic Relationships: But even the best comedies know when to offer some substance. Because I won't lie, when Anne described what is clearly a toxic friendship in the second episode, I was hooked. I love it when kids shows breach topics that can be important for children down the line. And for the most part, I think Amphibia does it well. There are so many instances that the writers' point out the several red flags that a person should avoid when it comes to a friendship and when it's time to either cut that person from your life and stand up for yourself. One of my favorite episodes is "Prison Break," where Sasha explains how she manipulates people and shows zero remorse for it. Then there's the episode "The Sleepover to End All Sleepovers" that shows how a person's influence can affect others and how much it changes perception as Anne and Marcy still believe they need someone like Sasha in their lives...At least I hope that's what the intention is. Because if the writers are trying to say that Anne and Marcy really need someone like Sasha...Well, I'll save that for my dislikes. Because even though it could use a little polishing, warning kids about toxic relationships is what keeps me hooked into seeing what happens next in this series.

It’s Not Afraid to go Dark: On top of breaking borders with morals intended for kids, I just gotta respect a show for playing around with what's considered "too dark." Especially if that show is on the Disney Channel!

The writers are not afraid to imply that death happens in the world of Amphibia, primarily because it is like a swamp ecosystem filled with predators and food chains. And I feel like because the characters are mostly amphibians, the writers can get away with an entire cave filled with the bones of victims as long as they're not humans. But frogs? No one gives a crap about them. There's a reason they're the ones who get dissected in schools.

Plus, a good majority of the monsters that Anne and the Plantars face are pretty horrifying at times. The crew who work on the show do a great job balancing the line of making these creatures look scary, but never go too far that they'll scar kids for life. Except in the Halloween special...How the f**k did they get away with the monsters in the Halloween special? And while they don't ever show what these monsters do, the implications honestly make things much worse, which again, I kind of respect. It's good to have shows like Amphibia that can scare kids a little bit. Getting through something fictitiously dark helps make kids feel braver and prepare them for the real horrors in the world. Especially since most of these creatures are just exaggerated versions of real-life predators...google them.

The Season One Finale: It was "Reunion" that made me realize that Amphibia has the potential to be amazing...it's also the last episode of season one, so let that sink in.

Joking aside, I honestly do love this episode. It's funny, it brings in elements from other episodes, nearly everybody does something useful, and it all ends with a satisfying and equally gut-wrenching climax. A climax, by the way, that is so perfect that I'm going to do a scene breakdown for why it's so good...so, you know, add that to the to-do list (I have so much s**t to make -_-). "Reunion" has so many elements about what makes a season finale so good that I feel like future writers should take notes for their own series that they plan to make. While I wish every episode of Amphibia had this level of quality, the writers know that the last impression is one of the most important. Because I will defend this show if this is the episode people use to trash it.

Marcy: I will also defend this show if someone trashes Marcy. Trust me, the best way to tell that someone is just hating on Amphibia for little to no reason is if they utter the word, "Marcy is a bad character." That is not true. Marcy is a great character, and I'd go so far as to say she's the best character in the series. She's sweet, adorable, and has a story ten times more interesting than Anne's. Anne learns what a sincere relationship is like through the Plantars, where Marcy falls victim to another manipulative relationship through King Andreas. It's her co-dependency that has the chance to get fleshed out more, and I can't wait to see if she has a moment to break out and form her own path.

Also, in the mass expanse of the multiverse, there exists a world where Amphibia is about the adventures that Marcy had in Newtopia as she uses Dungeons and Dragons logic to get by. And I want to see that universe! Because this clumsy nerd is already a blast to watch with the briefest of cameos. Imagine how much fun she would be if she had her own series!

Sprig: I don't know how much love Sprig gets within the fandom, but I got a feeling that it's not enough. He's funny without being annoying (most of the time), there's a whole lot of heart and sincerity to his actions, and above all else, he's the best friend that Anne needed. When Anne explained her very flawed views about friendship in "Best Fronds," it is clear how essential someone like Sprig is as he teaches Anne what friendship really means. It means caring for each other, supporting each other, making equal sacrifices for one another, and just being on the same page as each other. It is genuinely sweet seeing their friendship bloom, and I honestly hope the Amphibia fandom gives Sprig the amount of appreciation he deserves. Sure, he can be annoying sometimes, but for the most part, he's easily up there as one of my favorite characters.

Wally: Same with Wally! Who would have guessed that a character who appears as an dumb source of comic relief has a level of depth and lovability to him? "Wally and Anne" shows that while he is a nonsensical goofball, he doesn't really care what the frogs of Wartwood think of him. What matters is what he thinks of him. And that is just an incredible lesson to teach kids that just makes me love Wally more. 

(It also helps that he's probably the funniest character in the show. I know I said that he's dumb, but when he works, he works.)

Kermit the Frog Cameo: ...It's Kermit the Frog, y'all. I physically can't hate him. Especially since this is the perfect show for him to make a cameo in!

WHAT I DON’T LIKE

Anne’s Character: I don't have a problem with Anne. I think she's a serviceable protagonist, and I love the fact that she's Thai, offering a form of Asian representation other than Chinese, Japanese, or Korean. But here's the problem with Anne: After a season and a half, I still don't know what her character is. If you were to ask me to describe a Disney show protagonist within one sentence, I could do it effortlessly. Watch:

Star Butterfly: An adrenaline junky of a warrior princess who slowly learns to be responsible with each passing season.

Luz Noceda: A generous nerd that obsesses about fantasy and fiction, who still understands when to take a step in reality when the moment calls for it.

Scrooge McDuck: An old Scottish miser who has the heart of adventure and is a duck that almost loves his family as he loves his money.

For Anne, I don't know where to start because her personality is so inconsistent. Sometimes she makes friends with others without even trying, and other times, she gets on others' nerves easily. Sometimes she's a thrillseeker with the heart of adventure, and other times, she's a person who prefers to hang back and avoid doing work. And sometimes she's the only sane character with logical advice, and other times she's the most insane character who needs advice. Now, you could argue that these are all character traits that make Anne multidimensional. But if you ask me, it seems like her personality is dependent on what the writers want her to be for the episode. Someone like Luz going back and forth between two traits only works if there is a dominant personality trait that takes over the other. If Luz spends an entire episode being angry and serious, it proves that there's more to her than just a character that's nerdy and optimistic. But it's clear she is still that lovable nerd by having her say a corny line like, "Talk to the glyphs, Witch!" But because Anne has so many personality traits, it's hard to tell which is the norm and what is out of character. Case in point: Having Anne obsess over hang-gliding in one episode and doing a puzzle in the next is off as neither correlates with each other. Nor do they tell me who Anne is, other than the fact that she's clearly a character lacking a singular identity. And seeing how she's the main character, the one audiences are supposed to root for and identify with, it's probably not a good thing.

The Story: For the record, I have no problems with the story itself...the way it's written, however...

First off, there's too much filler. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, as filler episodes have the potential to be fun when written well. The problem is that relying on filler instead of telling your story can leave some people (me) uninterested and angry. And the thing is, there is a perfect way to avoid filler that doesn't involve telling the overarching narrative: Introduce personal plotlines. Look at The Owl House, for example. There are several character-oriented narrative threads that get introduced within the first few episodes. Such as Luz learning magic, Eda's curse, her relationship with Lilith, and Amity's redemption. Therefore, The Owl House avoids any filler episodes just as long as it focuses on any of these plotlines and even introduces new ones. Amphibia has the plotlines, but it rarely focuses on them. Especially since the story takes way too long to develop. 

Every time I think the show is finally going to start moving forward and we can continue the story, there are like ten more filler episodes where everything comes to a screeching halt. Now, to be fair, there is an explanation why we're forced to wait for the story to move forward, and it's because the characters are forced to wait as well. But, even then, there could have been better ways to pad out that waiting than just adding filler. For example, I may not have been forced into an alternate universe where nearly everything wants to kill me, but if I was, I WOULD SPEND EVERY WAKING MINUTE I HAVE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY BACK! In the first season, how many episodes does Anne spend trying to figure out the mystery of how she got there and how to go home? Two. There are two whole episodes, out of thirty-nine, where Anne tries to figure things out...That is insane to me. But to be fair, season two is doing a much better job at moving things along...but it doesn't change the fact that the writers are kind of bad at telling their own story.

There are two episodes, "Anne Vs. Wild" and "Lost in Newtopia," where the story continues, but it's only in the last few minutes. The problem is that if you take those endings out, the episodes themselves do not change a bit. BUT because those are significant and essential moments for the plot, you can't take them out. Resulting in scenes that, while intriguing, come across as awkward in the long run. So now, my question is why. Why is the story handled so poorly? And I have one theory.

It Feels Like the Writers Can’t Decide What they Want the Show to be: Sometimes it seems like Amphibia is written as a pure slice of life series like Big City Greens. However, there are times when the show seems like it's intended to mix slice of life with fantasy like Gravity Falls. Now here's the problem: Big City Greens and Gravity Falls are two very different shows in terms of storytelling, tone, and character work. Big City Greens is an episodic comedy series where character development is unimportant, and the adventures rarely go beyond just being wacky. As for Gravity Falls, it is a show that is semi-serialized where the character development is constant, and the fantasy-adventures are always prevalent in every episode. And there are several episodes of Amphibia that could be a part of either show. Episodes like "Stakeout," "Lily Pad Thai," and "Little Frog Town" have plots that I can see being in Big City Greens. Then there are episodes like "The Domino Effect," "Toad Tax," and "Marcy at the Gates" that I could see being in Gravity Falls. These two groups of episodes are vastly different from one another that it causes Amphibia to feel disjointed in the process. Usually, I'm a fan when a series mixes different genres together, but do you want to know why something like Gravity Falls does such a great job at mixing slice of life with fantasy-adventure? Because, as I said, fantasy-adventures are always present in every episode. "Dipper vs. Manliness," "Boss Mabel," and "Roadside Attraction" each have the most basic slice of life plots of the show, but there is always a fantasy element or a monster to fight. There are entire episodes of Amphibia where there is no monster, and even when there is, it doesn't have the same amount of tension and weight that the creatures in Gravity Falls have weekly. A show like Big City Greens doesn't have to worry about monsters or evil villains every week because it doesn't need to. It's a show about the wacky adventures of a family of farmers adjusting to city life. Why would they have to worry about a monster every week when they just have to worry about each other. If Amphibia was the same way then there would be no issue. But because if it wants to be a mix of slice of life with fantasy, then it does need to worry about a monster every week. I usually try to defend shows that try to play both sides, but this show has to be the one occasion where I have to say pick one or the other. Because the writers tried hard to be both, and personally, I don't think they did a good job.

Characters Don’t. Stop. SCREAMING!: It's here we move on from what's objectively wrong with Amphibia to the things that just bother me personally...and this is one of those things. I get it. An over-the-top reaction to something minimal can be funny on occasion...but it's never "on occasion" with this show. Nearly every episode has characters screaming to get a laugh, and most of the time, it's more annoying than it is funny. It's Hop Pop who does this the most, and I just feel so bad for Bill Farmer. That voice already seems like it's hard to do, so being forced to scream and yell with it for the sake of comedy can't do him any favors. Other shows, especially ones on the Disney Channel, have characters overreact for the sake of humor, but it's Amphibia that I feel like it relies on this the most. I'm sure some people aren't bothered by this, but I am, and this is my review, so I'm mentioning it.

Poly: Speaking of things that probably don't bother other people...I feel like I'm making some enemies with this one. Because, boy, do I not like Polly. Her voice is annoying, she mostly causes problems for the family, and to me, her entire character seems pointless. No, really. Think about it. Anne is the main character, Sprigs acts as her emotional support, and Hop Pop acts as the voice of reason. What's Polly's purpose? Because all she adds are unnecessary jokes, character traits that could have gone to anybody, and acting more as a plot device than an actual character. The only justification for her that I can think of is that she adds gender balance to the main cast. Which would be more than acceptable if there was a point to her existence. But I think it's pretty evident with her exclusion from the original pilot pitch for the program that Polly's personality is practically pointless...that is most likely the only alliteration I'll ever do for a review, so you have better appreciated it.

If you like Polly, then more power to you. For me, I just don't enjoy her.

Sasha: Oh, nelly. I can already see the hateful messages I'm gonna get from this.

Now, as a character, I actually do like Sasha. I think her personality is interesting enough to dissect, and I think she acts as a perfect antagonist to Anne, the Plantars, and even Marcy if you want to get into it. My problem relies on how much the fanbase is already jumping on the "Forgive Sasha" train. Because, "Aw, she's just like Catra and Amity! So sweet, tortured, shippable with the main character, and--" STOP IT! Stop it right now...and think. With Catra and Amity, you see the environment they grew up in, you feel the abuse they deal with, you understand the reasoning of their actions, and you come to forgive them for who they are...At least for Amity, you can. For Catra, it requires more of an argument. But Sasha? Did we see the same cruel mistreatment to her friends? Did we hear the same coldness in her voice as she describes how to manipulate people? Did we witness the same damage she's done to Anne and Marcy in how they perceive healthy relationships? Apparently not! Because while everyone else is already on the same page that Sasha deserves redemption, I'm sitting here thinking that maybe it's for the best to be a little more hesitant. So far, we have yet to see any way to understand her reasoning and have yet to see how she deserves forgiveness. Sure, Sasha was willing to sacrifice herself for Anne, but did Sasha really earn that? It works as a sudden realization that Anne deserves better, but Sasha has yet to do anything that proves she can be better. Especially since the next time we see her, she's trying to help a fascist ruler get back up on his feet...THINK ABOUT THAT!

But, sure, she's meant to be forgiven. That can work. Because while Sasha shows kids the type of people they should avoid, she can also work as a warning for what kids should avoid becoming. That is a great thing to teach...but it can also be potentially dangerous. Because if incorrectly interpreted, Sasha can show kids that every person who seems toxic just needs a chance to change. And that is the last thing you want to teach, given how very few toxic people actually change. You want to know why The Owl House gets away with an equally dangerous lesson about how not every bully is awful? It's because it shows two sides of the spectrum by proving why someone like Amity did the things she's done while also saying that characters like Boscha and Mattholomule are just a-holes for the sake of being a-holes. Sasha has no one to compare to. Sure, there's King Andreas, but he's a government figure. They're built to be manipulative. Sasha needs someone that's on her level of cruelty to prove that while some people can change and have reason to do so, others don't. And seeing how I don't think she deserves to change, at least not yet, that is an issue. It's the biggest issue out of all the issues I have with this show.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, yeah, I think it's pretty evident how I feel about Amphibia when I can write paragraphs about the stuff I don't like while barely being able to talk about the things I do like. Because I do enjoy this show. It's funny, most of the characters are enjoyable, and its discussion on toxic relationships still has me hooked to see what happens next. My issue lies with inconsistency. The main protagonist, storytelling, genre, and thematic purposes are all inconsistent. I'm interested enough to watch more, and who knows, maybe I'll make a final verdict review once the series comes to an end. For now, if you had to ask me what I’m excited to make a return, I don't know if I'll be willing to hop to it by saying Amphibia.

(Also, if you're still looking for that link for that pirating website I mentioned, now would probably be a good time to tell you that I really never did put one in. I told you, that would be crazy...That should teach you to try to break the law.)