#...but what will likely happen is the lives of the people you work with are being made harder...

[summertimesadnessirl]

They literally just want to pretend that the whole last 50 odd years never happened.

It's so weird. Like? What did you do that you are like this, buddy? Let's talk about it.

Are you upset because you got programmed from birth to believe sex is evil and now you can't get off unless you think God is mad at you and you're committing a crime and one of the people involved in the sex hates it?

Have you heard of BDSM? Because we can literally simulate that feeling just for you using technology for the rest of your life without you having to take over the entire government and kill off a bunch of nice kids with blue hair and shaved eyebrows or who go by a word that makes you think you can't be a naughty boy for wanting to have sex wearing clothes from a different gender occasionally, and those people literally don't care if you wanna be called slurs for doing that when you have sex, believe it or not.

What's your deal? Did it turn out you don't like sex, you just like the idea of something mysterious and otherworldly and pleasureable that nobody introduced you to that other people are totally doing? Because we can fix you right up with drugs and intentionally confusing poetry.

Yeah. You can even start your very own mystery cult if you want, as long as you don't commit genocide or anything. We can all pretend to not know about your mystery cult. We can all pretend to be bad guys from your mystery cult. We can play that game until you barely remember your own name, it's fine.

Do you just need someone to take care of you, like in a disability accommodation kind of way? Or like, are you working too many hours? We can't really fix that with bdsm. We can play that but typically the people doing bdsm only want to play that for a few hours at a time before they need a break, but have you heard about the wonders of automation?

Yeah. We can automate a lot of the stuff that stresses you out like cleaning your floors and paying your bills on time and reordering your prescriptions and your groceries and stuff. It would work better if the minimum wage was higher and the average person got paid more often than biweekly, and we still really need to design housing with a washing machine in the bathroom that washes and dries your clothes instead of putting them in the hamper, but look, we made a little guy who lives in your computer who can take every meeting that should have been an email and turn it into a bulleted list for you. We can also do this thing where he draws pictures of your boss experiencing cartoonish violence or turning into like a weird bug when you are being bullied and it can protect you pretty well from The Emails as well. Yes. I know. The emails are scary.

If your job is really stressing you out you should meet my new friend fully automated luxury communism sometime. Their idea is that we should automate all the jobs where it seems like most of your day is spent kind of hanging out hoping that your boss doesn't realize you aren't working and getting a super high cortisol level for no reason or filling out forms to send to people who use the forms to fill out other forms who get approval via some more forms to make a phone call to a guy who works 20 feet away and give everyone a dividend so that they can work fewer hours and hang out. Yeah, there are a lot of people who believe this who enjoy fighting over the details of that, it's their hobby and also they're all afraid if they don't fight one another a lot they'll turn evil. No, not the sexy kind of evil, the other kind.

Do you need clearly defined rules that you are supposed to follow in social situations in order to feel safe, but also bdsm isn't your thing because you also need other people to follow clearly defined rules? Have you tried video games, team sports, or tabletop games? You might like those.

Did someone hurt you when you were young and call it gender and you didn't realize it because you thought that was just a normal part of growing up and you are getting uncomfortable flashbacks about that time, but talk therapy super doesn't work for you because talking about it makes it worse? That's valid. Have you tried psychedelic drugs yet? Psychedelic drugs have been used to fix that problem and many others like it for generations and generations. Using the magic of psychedelic drugs, we can make sure that you feel totally fine and safe whenever you interact with people being raised in a different way than you were and even carefully obliterate all traces of your childhood trauma for decades at a time. We also can continue to give you more, if that works for ya.

There's really no reason to do nazi shit at all.

Btw, this is how conservatives keep getting to claim that trans people are a new thing no one has ever heard, because our history and existences have continually been erased or obscured systematically through out history.

The most famous example was 92 years when the Nazis raided the library of the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, the medical practice where the term transsexual was first coined and the first gender affirming surgery was performed in in 1931.

What did the Nazis do after raiding the library on May 6th, 1933? You may be familiar with these images

It is happening again.

[genderqueerdykes]

It's always bothered me how cis women are basically treated as biologically pre-determined allies to trans people because many of the cis women in my life have been the LEAST supportive while acting like their bigotry is better than cis men's because "women are naturally caring". Combine that with the idea that it's trans people's role to comfort and accommodate cis women's sense of safety at the cost of our own makes it even more upsetting to me. Meanwhile cis men in my life have all gone out of their way to challenge bigoted views in the people around them, burnt bridges with people they've known for ages because they care about me and my safety as a trans person more than being friends with bigots.

When I tell people that they'll often say that these men aren't the norm because ''they chose to do it individually'' and like??? Yeah that's what you do???? Are people so brainrotted by the concept of goodness being some innate trait you either have or don't have and have no way of changing that they're fine with disrespecting themselves and their fellow queers and accept this as the only way for us to live??

All that tells me is that people believe our existence as trans people is so fundamentally meaningless thay they look down on those of us who dare to demand better. And at this point I don't care if I sound mean about it, I genuinely think we as a demographic need to grow a collective spine and stop idolizing cis women and let cis men off the hook by waving them off as lost causes.

LMAOOO sorry I'm just I get so worked up!!! I could go on about how this dynamic with cis genders is also what fuels the fracture between different groups of trans people, but then my ask would get even longer and then I'd probably have people make even more assumptions about my gender and AGAB and react accordingly lmaoooo. Anyway hope you have a great day sorry for dumping this on you

go right ahead, it needs to be said because i have encountered and noticed this as well and its important to point out. people are way too ready to say you cant say anything like this about a cis woman because they're so defenseless or whatever as if they can't do any harm. which, yes, i'm with you, the cis women in my life have been the least safe and receptive by a long shot.

Combine that with the idea that it's trans people's role to comfort and accommodate cis women's sense of safety at the cost of our own makes it even more upsetting to me.

that's how i feel every day i log on here. i feel like it's my job to comfort cis women and prioritize how they feel over trans people and it's honestly really exhausting. a lot of that has to do with just how many people are terfs or believe what they believe. women are not inherently safer to be around. they can cause harm. they are not being harmed by trans women exisiting near them. trans women aren't a threat to their womanhood. trans women can be and are abused by cis women every single day. they hurt trans women and trans men so often and people want to pretend like it just never happens but a lot of hateful cis women target trans men and women in specific it sucks.

like cis women can be some of the most transmisogynistic, transandrophobic, just trans hating individuals in general if they're exposed to the wrong kinds of people and thinking

thanks for stopping by! you're right and you should say it

[hadeelsave]

Did you watch the video to the end?

Imagine being forced to live like this, cooking on fire and enduring the diseases it causes. Have you seen what happened to my hands?

I live in Gaza and in this war I lost everything, my husband, my home, my work, my life, my father, my brothers, my sisters and my friends. I lost a lot of my family and only 13 people remain, including 5 orphaned children. I am the one who takes care of them, my weak and sick mother and my grandmother who needs treatment. We live in tents and the rain does not stop. Please help us so that we can start over and survive this great suffering so that I can stand on my feet and be able to raise these children and treat my mother and grandmother.

Please click here and donate, and if you want any personal proof, you can contact me privately to prove everything I say.

I have been documented by

@a-shade-of-blue @bilal-salah0 @el-shab-hussein @gaza-evacuation-funds @commissions4aid-international @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness @northgazaupdates

[lvnleah]

west end star | leah williamson.

You were lounging on the couch, Leah sitting beside you with your legs draped over her thighs. Today was the day you could find out if you had landed your first major West End role, the one you’d been dreaming of since you were a kid.

Your whole life had been dedicated to musical theatre. From performing in summer recitals at age six to moving all the way to London from Manchester for Musical Theatre college, your whole life had revolved around it. Sure, you had done a few ensemble parts here and there after college but nothing like a major role. 

A few months ago you had auditioned for Sophie Sheridan in Mamma Mia the Musical on the West End. You had poured everything into that audition. Every note, every step, every ounce of emotion you could muster had gone into your performance. 

Sophie Sheridan in Mamma Mia. Even saying it to yourself felt surreal, but it was what you’d been dreaming of for as long as you could remember.

The callback process had been gruelling. Weeks of singing, acting, and dance workshops, surrounded by people who were just as talented and hungry for the role as you were. You’d tried to stay grounded, but deep down, you knew you wanted this more than anything.

Leah had been your rock throughout the process. She’d spent countless nights helping you run lines, watching you practice choreography in the living room, and reassuring you when the self-doubt crept in. 

“You’re going to get it,” she’d said every time you worried. “I can feel it.”

Now, here you were, sitting on the couch, staring at your phone like it might explode. Leah was gently tracing patterns on your shin, pretending to scroll through her phone but clearly keeping an eye on you.

“You know you’re allowed to breathe, right?” she teased, glancing up at you with a small smirk.

“I am breathing,” you shot back, though it felt like your lungs were only half working.

Leah rolled her eyes. “Barely. It’s going to be fine, love. Whatever happens, you’ve done everything you could. You were incredible in that audition.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could say anything, your phone buzzed on the coffee table. Both of you froze.

Your agent’s name lit up the screen, and your heart started pounding.

“Don’t just stare at it, woman!” Leah said, her voice suddenly serious. “Answer it!”

With trembling fingers, you picked up the phone and pressed it to your ear. “H-hello?”

“Hi, sweetheart, it’s Miranda,” your agent said warmly. “How are you doing?”

“I’m good,” you managed to say, though your voice cracked slightly. Leah gave your leg a reassuring squeeze. “Do you have… um… any news?”

Miranda let out a little laugh. “I do. I just got off the phone with the casting director, and they were absolutely blown away by you. They said your energy was perfect, your vocals were spot on, and well, they want you for Sophie.”

The words hit you like a wave. You sat there, frozen, as Miranda’s words echoed in your ears. “I what—wait. I got it?”

“You got it!” Miranda confirmed, laughing again. “You’re going to be Sophie Sheridan on the West End. Congratulations, sweetheart. You deserve this.”

Tears filled your eyes as you tried to process the moment. “Oh my god, I—Thank you, Miranda. Thank you so much.”

“Go celebrate,” she said warmly. “You’ve earned it. I’ll be in touch soon with all the details.”

The call ended, and you slowly lowered the phone, staring at it like it might suddenly disappear.

“Well?” Leah asked, “Babe, talk! You know, use words?”

You turned to her, the biggest smile breaking across your face. “I, um, I got it,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “Leah, I got it.”

Leah let out a cheer, pulling you into her arms so quickly that you nearly toppled off the couch. “I knew it!” she exclaimed, kissing you all over your face as you laughed and cried at the same time. “You’re going to be Sophie! On the West End!”

“I can’t believe it,” you said, burying your face in her shoulder. “This is actually happening.”

Leah pulled back just enough to look at you, her hands framing your face. “You worked so hard for this, and you deserve every bit of it,” she said before attacking you with more kisses. “I’m so proud of you, babe.”

You smiled, giggling as her kiss attacks stopped. “I couldn’t have done it without you. You’ve been my rock through all of this.”

“And I’ll be your rock through everything else, too. Now,” she said, standing up and pulling you with her, “we are celebrating. Whatever you want, dinner, drinks, dessert, name it, and it’s yours.”

You laughed, wiping your tears. “Can we start with some champagne?”

“Absolutely,” Leah said, already heading to grab a bottle. “Only the best for my West End star.”

Your debut arrived quicker than you ever expected. Weeks of rehearsals and costume fittings flew by in a blur. The nerves hit as soon as you woke up that morning, a constant flutter in your stomach that didn’t ease, no matter how many times Leah reassured you.

“You’ve got this,” she said that morning, handing you a cup of tea as you sat at the kitchen table, staring into space. “You’ve worked so hard for this, and everyone’s going to see how incredible you are.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Leah asked, sitting across from you after a few moments of silence. 

“Just… everything,” you admitted. “What if I mess up? What if everyone hates me?”

Leah smirked and reached for your hand. “If anyone doesn’t like you after tonight, they’re either blind or tone-deaf. You’re going to be the best Sophie Sheridan that stage has ever seen.”

You smiled despite yourself. “You’re biased.”

“Absolutely,” she said. “But I’m also right.”

She was the steadying presence you needed that day, texting you little messages throughout your pre-show prep: You’re a star, babe. Don’t forget to breathe. Save some talent for the rest of the cast, yeah?

When the curtain finally rose that evening, the nerves melted away, replaced by the joy of being on stage that you always had. The music, the lights, the energy of the audience, it was everything you’d ever dreamed of. By the time the final bows came, the roar of applause felt like it might shake the building.

When you finally emerged from the stage door, your breath caught. There Leah was, standing with Amanda and Berny, a bouquet of flowers in her arms. Leah’s face lit up the second she saw you, her grin wide and proud. She stepped forward, holding out the bouquet, but before she could say anything, you launched yourself into her arms.

“You were amazing,” she whispered into your ear, holding you tight.

“Thank you,” you murmured, pulling back just enough to look at her. Her eyes were sparkling with pride, and the sight made your stomach flip.

Amanda stepped in next, wrapping you in a warm hug. “That was incredible, sweetheart. I was in tears during ‘Slipping Through My Fingers.’ You’ve got such a gift.”

“You were made for this role, darling,” Berny added, smiling warmly. 

“Thank you, both of you,” you said, overwhelmed by their kindness.

As the four of you walked toward a nearby restaurant to celebrate, Leah squeezed your hand. “You know,” she said softly, so only you could hear, “watching you up there… I’ve never been so proud in my life.”

Your cheeks warmed. “Stop it. You’re going to make me cry.”

“Good,” she said with a grin, “because I cried. Twice. And if I have to admit that, you can at least tear up.”

“You’re impossible,” you muttered, though your smile betrayed you.

“And you’re brilliant,” she said, leaning over to kiss your temple. “Don’t forget it.”

[useless-catalanfacts]

POV: you try speaking your language in your country.

This is the video (I have added English subtitles) posted by a Mallorcan man on Twitter, showing an experience that many of us have had. The man went to a gas station and when he went up to pay, he politely asked in the language of the land (Mallorcan Catalan). The cashier answered telling him to speak Spanish. The Mallorcan man said "I will say it slowly in both, this way you can learn it". He proceeded to say the numbers first in Catalan and then in Spanish. A second gas station worker came to him and started threatening him for speaking Catalan: "I'm going to kick your face", "I'm going to hit you so hard I'll leave you on the floor", "[you must speak Spanish because] this is Spain and that's it".

This is a common experience for Catalan speakers. Even in our own country, we can face violent threats, humiliation, and laughter for speaking the local language instead of Spanish. Even doctors routinely refuse to treat Catalan-speaking patients because they're Catalan speakers, and people have been kicked out of almost every kind of business you can imagine for speaking Catalan. When this happens in Spain outside our country, it's humiliating enough (for example: my grandmother and her friend, who are both daughters of people who moved from Southern Spain, went to visit their parent's hometown some years ago and got kicked out of a café because the other clients heard them and started shouting, they thought they were going to hit them, and the café owner came out to shout at them to get out because they don't want Catalans there) but you can more or less avoid it by not going there, but when it happens in our own country, where else are we supposed to go? If we can't speak our language in our hometown, are we just supposed to disappear?

In Barcelona (Catalonia's capital city), the 4th most reported cause of discrimination and hate crime is speaking Catalan. And that's considering that Catalan speakers rarely report these kind of events (I myself have never reported it before) while other collectives have been working a lot to report their discrimination cases and have specific places that help them do so and give them protection, like the LGBTQI+ community and migrant communities. Even then, statistics for hate crimes show the 4th reason for being hate crimed in Catalonia's capital city is speaking Catalan. And we can all be sure those numbers are nowhere near the truth of the problem.

In the Balearic Islands, discrimination is on the rise, and it's officially supported by the far-right regional government. But even though it has more legal support now, it's not new. (For example: I went to visit my friends from Mallorca years before the far-right was elected and they already got huge letters spray painted at the entrance of the town saying "Catalan pigs we'll hang you all" and they often got shouted at for similar reasons).

It's so tiring. We only want to be normal and have the same rights, to not have to face hate for our language and culture; but when we explain what happens to us and try to get Spanish people to understand that it's not good, most of them only make fun of it because they believe it's right and that it was our fault for "imposing" our public presence in the first place. Why is it so difficult to understand that we should also have the right to exist in public? Why are we always made to feel we are so annoying and disgusting? It is the people getting this angry over someone speaking the language of the place they live in who have a disproportionate amount of hatred and anger, it should be them to apologize.

[natalievoncatte]

Lena crouched down and carefully undid the buckle, pulling the watch from Lex’s limp wrist. His cold hand fell to the floor with a soft flopping sound and his eyes stared at nothing, unfocused and dull. Lena had once read that a dead man stared as if trying to solve a complex problem, but Lena did not see metaphor in her dead brother’s eyes. She saw only an absence that was a presence, a nothing that was somehow something.

Lex finally had his father’s eyes.

The gun was still heavy in her hand, her palm and wrist tingling from the force of recoil, ears still ringing from the blast. A single hole marked the center of her brother’s forehead; the meat of his genius was splattered across a bank of screens all playing surveillance footage of Kara performing inhuman feats.

(Two to the chest, one to the head, he had taught her, teaching her to repeat the mantra as he held her wrist to guide her aim as she took her very first shot)

The world was starting to come back, sweeping in. She couldn’t be here. She’d have to figure out what to do with the body and the evidence. She had to get out.

The interface on the watch was simple enough. The portal flashed open and she stepped through into her apartment. That could be convenient.

The watch crystal was dotted with her brother’s blood. She threw it and it skidded across the kitchen counter and it fell on the floor. She looked at the weapon in her hand. She would have powder burns.

Looking up, she spotted her reflection in the stainless steel of her fridge, blurred but real. There was red on her.

Lena never wore red.

There was more than she thought. She was covered in blood. In a panic, she ran for her bedroom and began shedding clothes on the tile floor of her bathrooms, wrapping the gun in a towel before throwing it on the bed. Stupid, stupid. That revolver was registered to her in Metropolis, and like all guns sold in-state, the police had a spent shell casing from it, fired and then stored for police records before it was sold.

Fuck.

Hot water blasted her skin. She let her hair fall down around her shoulders in wet locks like streaks of ink smeared across her pale skin.

(Why must you be so pale? You look like a dead fish.)

(That’s enough, mother. Leave Lena alone.)

She wasn’t sure when the tears started, or when she began to sob. She scrubbed at herself with a wash cloth and soap until her skin was raw and beet red. She was still sobbing when she stumbled out of the shower and threw on a robe, choking back tears as she sat on the edge of the bed.

She reached for her phone on the nightstand, but who to call?

Not long ago she’d have called Kara, or perhaps her sister. She could have called Nia or Brainy but they had all fucking lied to her. Even James. James knew while he was… while they…

It was Kara. Kara has asked her boyfriend to spy on her, questioned her motives.

Kara… Kara had lied most of all.

She stared at the phone. There was Sam, but Sam was away from all this madness, busy with her work and her daughter. Lena would just be a burden to her.

She stared at her list of contacts- the only people she knew outside of her employees and associates were in Kara’s circle, except for Sam…

…and Jack.

Lena jabbed the call button and waited.

It rang, rang, rang again.

Finally, he answered.

“Lena?”

“Hello, Jack.”

“I must say I’m surprised- it’s rather late, and we haven’t spoken in a while. What’s on your mind?”

“I shot Lex in the face,” Lena said, shocked by her own hollow, distant voice.

The line was silent for too long a beat.

“Dear God, you’re serious.”

Lena choked out a sob.

“I had to, Jack. She was never going to be safe while he was alive. He almost killed her this time. He would never let her live if he knew how I feel.”

“Lena, darling, please, you’re not making sense. Look- I’m booking a flight out there now, but please, stay calm and try to tell me what happened.”

She didn’t know where to start, so she went back to the beginning, when she had learned how to trace Lex’s portals and followed him back to his lair.

She stopped herself before she gave it away.

“He showed me Supergirl’s real identity. He had proof.”

“I see.”

“I… she…”

“It doesn’t matter who she is. It hurt you, I know that. Listen to me, Lena- I’ve charted a flight and I’ll be there in six hours. Where is the gun?”

“I have it here.”

“Unload it, please. Let me know when you’ve finished.”

Lena flicked open the cylinder and dumped the shells into her hand, three spent and two unfired, then closed it again.

“Now, lock it up.”

Once it was in the safe she said, “done.”

“Now I want you to lie down. Stay in the apartment and wait there for me, I’ll be there presently.”

For once in her life, Lena did as she was told. Somehow, she fell asleep and didn’t wake until she heard the intercom buzzing.

Without thinking she pulled on sweats and a Midvale High Mathletes sweatshirt.

Kara’s.

When she opened the door she found a haggard Jack Spheer on the other side. He was a little older, beard salted with gray, but he was still him.

He swept into the apartment without a word, found the liquor cabinet, and poured drinks.

“Talk to me.”

Lena sat down and downed her two fingers of scotch in one motion. He poured her another.

“Kara Danvers is Supergirl.”

“The Kara Danvers? Your reporter friend? Your best friend?”

He took a drink.

“Your crush?” he added.

Lena stared at him. He met her gaze levelly.

“What you said on the phone before I left. That he would never let her live if he knew how you felt.”

Lena’s throat felt like sandpaper. She took another drink. It didn’t help.

“She’s not… I’m not… I don’t…” The words would not take shape. “She lied to me,” Lena finally choked out. “She did something I shouldn’t forgive and she used her double life to play both side against me. I don’t know what part of our relationship was real now.”

Jack studied his drink for a long time. He picked up the bottle and pretended to read the label.

“The last time we spoke she seemed quite taken with you. I assume that Lex knew all of this, or most of it.”

“He knew the broad strokes, I’m sure. I think he hoped that if he showed me, I’d join him.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No,” Lena said, in a tiny whisper. “I killed him.”

“Your brother is dead.”

“Yes.”

He poured more drinks, another round for both of them.

“Tell me about him.”

“You’ve heard all the stories.”

“Tell me anyway.”

Lena considered that for a moment, then began talking, rattling off whatever popped into her head. She started with the first time she ever met her brother when he and Lionel had come to Ireland to take custody of her, then began jumping around in time from the treehouse he tried to build to the time he told Lillian he’d kill her if she hurt Lena to his college graduation to when he declared to her that he was going to kill Superman, as if it were the most obvious thing to do.

Eventfully she ran out of stories, and they were running out of scotch. There was enough for one more glass each.

It was The Next Day by now, and mid-morning sun filled the penthouse.

“Are you ready to tell me about her?”

She was. Lena began with the first time they met- the mousy little wannabe reporter who followed Superman into her office as he posed as a reporter, how the Man of Steel himself seemed unimportant compared to Kara, how even then her heart fluttered and she felt a hot pressure low in her hips and Kara seemed to feel spending too.

She told Jack all about it- not just Kara but Supergirl too, about the plane and the office full of flowers and the lunches and brunches and movie nights and how this woman had burrowed into her life and made a home there and gave a home in return, about all the times she had saved Lena’s life.

Again the words ran out.

“Do you want my advice?”

“Yes,” said Lena.

“Talk to her. The woman cares for you deeply, that much is clear. Talk to her and see where you stand.”

“But,”

He raised a hand. “I’m telling you this because I think you’ll listen to me. You want my real advice?”

Lena swallowed. “Yes.”

“Your psychopath brother is gone. You own and run a Fortune 50 company. You’re on a dozen lists, 30 under 30, most influential women… you have virtually unlimited wealth and, if I dare say so, a woman who loves you.”

Lena sucked in a breath.

“Take the money, take the girl,” said Jack, “and live your life.”

She looked down at the empty glass, feeling the cold austere minimalism of her stark penthouse around her, and the tears began to flow anew. She wrapped her arms around herself and didn’t flinch when Jack took her in a bear hug.

“I want what’s best for you, and right now I think what’s best for you is ignoring that little voice in your head that’s telling you to blow up your life because you think you can’t be happy.”

“I knew,” Lena finally admitted. “I knew the whole time. I knew she was Supergirl and I knew I was in love with her.”

Lena wept softly on his shoulder for a time. He ended up staying the day and slept on her couch before leaving to return to Metropolis.

She was still wearing Kara’s sweater when she made the call.

“Lena? Are you alright? I was worried about you,” Kara said.

“Please come over,” Lena whispered. “I need to see you, Kara. You can come in through the balcony. The door is open.”

There was a too-long pause, and then the double impact of Supergirl’s boot heels on the concrete.

[mandy-asimp]

Cards and Clay

Lilia Calderu x Potter! Reader

Summary: you move into town and start a new pottery place, you bring in much business and are pleased with your tiny living. Or so you think that's what's happening.

Warnings: language, smut (leaving this simple so you get the surprise), teasing, pet names, lemme know if I missed anything?

A/n ~ bye chat this is lengthy. I mean it. I was being honest when I said I love plot procrastination to the smut. But shiii I got it done🙂‍↕️

You just finished your first full week of your own pottery shop. It was honestly becoming a dream come true. You rented one of the newer apartments about ten minutes down the road, which was when you could tell the whole area was in need of renovations. Yet, with enough media promotion and the help of your friends, you managed to put a name on the map.

The weekend was ahead, and it would be busy for the Saturday lessons you offered. They would begin around eleven, giving you plenty of time to sleep in and even set up.

You were basically done cleaning up, the last thing was to rotate everything in the kiln. Which would've been completed, until the bell at the front door rang. "Oh! Sorry, we're closed!" You had called from the back, wiping the pottery off your hands onto the apron. By the door stood a curious-looking lady. Her hair pinned up and the curls fell down freely, some framing her face. Her eyes. Those were the next thing you had taken in. They were big, brown, and full of adventures you were for sure of it. They dropped against your body and you found yourself standing straighter and at attention.

"Can I help you?" You gave her your sweetest customer service voice possible. Hands coming to clasp in front of you and your head tilted. A few stray hairs falling with.

"I wanted to come see what was dragging in the business. Just not during it being an open business." She flashed you a softer smile, one that you could let your guard down to just a bit.

So you did, your shoulders had visibly relaxed and your chest didn't feel as tight. "Oh! Well it's just me and a dream here." You chuckled, a hand at the back of your neck. "I live in the apartment right down the street as well so I'm practically always here."

"I'm in the tarot shop across the street, so I know what you mean. This is cute, a nice addition I'd say." She hummed out, eyes roaming the space once more with a finger wagging in the air. You lightly laughed and held out your hand, giving her your name with a welcoming smile. "Lilia Calderu, how did someone like you get here anyways?"

"Like I said, me and a dream here. I went to college for a business degree, learned how to run a company, minored with an art degree. Work in between all that. All because I had a dream and gave my trust to the universe and here I am. My dream come true." You rambled a bit about yourself, knowing you could go deeper into all of it. But it was the simple version of your life.

Lilia enjoyed the way you spoke so passionately about something. She had forgotten how pure some people could still be within this grueling world. "It's nice to know some people still dream."

"Saying you don't dream?" You raised a challenging brow and crossed your arms. "You don't have something that keeps you going everyday even though the world sucks?"

"You sound so generic," she scoffed with a sly smirk. "I'm long past the dreaming age anyways. I've gotten content with my solo life. But you keep dreaming. I should get going though, it was nice meeting you."

You nodded slightly and watched her go. Standing like a mannequin until she opened her shops door. Once she was inside, you sighed happily and got back to work.

As for Lilia, her night concluded with her fiddling with cards as you seemed to run around in her mind. She felt silly if she used the cards in such a childish manner. Even when she groaned and placed the deck back down to the table. What was it about you?

~

A few weeks had rolled by and you had began a steady pace with work. Along with building deeper relationships with your students. A particular group you enjoyed was with Agatha, Alice, and Billy. They always knew something about someone.

You once asked them about Lilia, silently curious about the woman across the way. "She's been here ever since I could remember." Agatha started the talk. "She lives alone over there. In the back of her shop."

"She's gay. I can tell you that as well. There's no way she isn't." Billy pitched in. The fact earned him a silence and stares. "I went over there once for a reading. She's one weird, but sweet lady really."

You eyed Alice, she sat silently while working with her clay. "You got anything to add Alice? Anything I should be aware of?" You brushed your hair off your nose, getting a little bit of clay on your cheek.

"She's a quiet lady. I've never had trouble with her." Her eyes were focused to the spinning wheel, like she physically couldn't meet your gaze.

"Alice slept with her." Agatha snorted. Inflicting a heavy blush to the other as her head shot up and she began to deny the accusation.

You and Billy were left to witness the debate while trying not to holler with laughter. "It's ok anyways! Everyone's got their own thing. Whether you did or didn't, she seems nice. Except her shop is always dead. She gets maybe one or two customers if she's lucky?"

"Watching your new crush?" Agatha finally turned to tease you. Wiggling her brows and making kissy faces at you.

Your head shook and a smile was there, "hardly could say I have a crush. She an old lady who lives by herself, so what if my mind can't help to wonder if she's lonely. Anyone would. I just hope nothing bad happens." You finalized, pouring the rest of your focus into the yarn bowl you were attempting.

It wasn't until closing again that Lilia became your minds only focus. You were already set on grabbing take-out before heading home, and suddenly found yourself at her shops door knocking against the glass.

Your heart was hammering in your chest as you waited. Maybe she was asleep, or busy...or maybe even out..wherever she was you thought up a million conclusions until the door opened. Lilia stared up to you with furrowed brows.

Your name fell from her lips in a whisper, "What are you doing here?" She searched briefly over your person to find an answer. Her posture had seemed like she had been caught of something.

"I couldn't help but wonder, if you'd care to join me for dinner? It's usually what I grab on my way home on Fridays and I figured since you hadn't left yours for a while maybe it'd be nice for a change?" You were wincing at your own words. It was a brave invite alone, and you didn't anticipate how effective her being this close to you would be.

Lilia stood in much looser clothing. Patchy pants that were a variety of dulled colors, it fit with the silky cover up that draped her shoulders. Her shirt was the darkest piece, the neck line dropping enough to expose her chest. And her hair was up in a messy ponytail again.

"How sweet of you, but I've already had my dinner. Maybe next time though doll, I'm sure you're amazing company." She bid you a goodbye and the door was closed again.

But for the next three weeks, she continued to decline your offer. Simply, the fourth week you left her with little choice. You knocked against her door and patiently waited like normal. Only this time when the door opened, you didn't wait for pleasantries.

"This is the fourth week. I would invite you, but I know you'll say no. And I know you haven't actually eaten because your house doesn't smell like cooking, not even thirty minutes before. One dinner and if I'm really that bad, I will never bother you again." You held the door from closing with your foot against the frame. "We can have it here and everything."

Lilia eyed you for a moment. You really were persistent with getting to know her. So..she sighed and opened the door further. Slightly grinning as you squealed before rushing in. The smell of good take-out wafting into the air.

Your body buzzed with excitement as you began to set everything on the table as she grabbed plates and glasses for each of you. Even as you finally sat across from her, you couldn't help the beaming smile that touched your eyes.

"You really wanted to have dinner with me?" She chuckled, being the first to start plating food. You eyed her wised hands before following suit.

Your head nodded, "a woman like you is alluring. I bet you have stories to be told and nobody knows them. I wanna know all of them." You missed her hesitation as she really eyed you now. Too busy putting noodles onto your plate.

"Well I do have a few. But what are they to you? Don't you know other people who can give you better stories?" She raised, knowing you had built connections with many people through your art. How deep you could take someone with a piece of clay and a conversation.

Your head bobbed in agreement, "I mean yeah I guess, but at the same time I've failed at many connections. Pottery is selective just like tarot is. I've heard the art stories and so on, but I haven't heard yours yet. So, what crazy adventures has Lilia Calderu been on?"

That night she had told you a variety of stories. The funny ones, the ones that put you on the edge of your seat and make you wonder how she managed, ones that were sad, all of them. As many as she could because finally, someone wanted to pay attention to her and hear everything she's accomplished.

The lingering fear of being forgotten soon seemed to cower into a corner with you around. She liked it. She liked this feeling of freeness. She liked not being alone suddenly. Even as her big doey eyes watched your cheeks burn pink from laughing so hard, she couldn't get enough of it.

"My my, Lilia!" You huffed down your giggles. "I knew I wanted to know your stories for a reason! You are a woman of many lives." You leaned against your hand as you stared at her. "I wish I could've lived that all with you, sounds so much better than an average k-12 childhood."

"You're telling me, the one with the pottery shop, was average? You made your dreams come true, didn't you?" It was her turn to shine the spotlight.

"Nothing special about me. Ran around as a kid. Hid in the closet once I figured out what it was. Came out, got told it was just a phase. And then I kept quiet mostly till I got to college. Explored, studied, graduated, job, dream job. That's basically it." You sighed, taking a sip of water.

"Mm, I never labeled myself. That's the thing with the younger generations, so desperate for a label." She rolled her eyes, then suddenly they were on you with a small challenge behind them.

"Sometimes a label makes them feel validated. Gives worth to something. Haven't you ever wanted a title?" You quirked a brow to her, her move.

"It's sad you need a title to have worth," she shot.

"Says Madame Calderu?" You dodged and returned fire, only not missing.

Lilia sighed and put her hands up in surrender. Chuckling out a "you got me" before crossing her arms again. "This was nice, thank you."

"Well it only took four weeks of perusing, but I think it was well worth it....why exactly did it take four week?" Your tone curved the outcome of the night unbeknownst to you.

"I had eaten those three other weeks. You caught me when I was behind on schedule." She attempted to turn down the topic nicely. She really had no excuse except she thought you were taking pity on her. Now she could see that that wasn't true.

"Ok and I own the Mona Lisa." You mocked, earning a kick under the table. It made your eyebrows furrow quickly. "What? Can I not call out bullshit when I hear it? If you're gonna lie at least lie to me better." Another kick. "Alright! Geez lady, gonna leave me all bruised."

"Good, maybe it'll teach you some manners." She cocked her head briefly. You laughed, throwing your head back with a wide smile.

Continuing as you started cleaning up the table. "I'll have you know my mother raised a well mannered woman! I graduated the nicest in class, so I speak for myself."

Lilia stood and grabbed at the plates, her hip bumping yours. "Whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night."

You shook your head while putting the empty containers into the plastic bag. "I tell myself a lot of positive things before bed. Tonight it'll be complimenting myself for finally getting dinner with you." You turned to her with a cocky gleam.

The woman just squinted her eyes and sighed out. "You're an interesting one, ya know that? That average Joe crap doesn't suit you at all."

This time you let out a snort, a hand covering your mouth and nose instantly. "You're making me blush, Lilia! But truly, if I can figure out what interesting thing you see, I'll cut the Joe out."

"Anything named Joe should be cut out. Especially the men named Joe." She rambled only slightly. You hummed in agreement anyways, trying to stay serious with her. "I knew a Joe once, he was nothing good. Just caused me problems on problems. Had to bail him out twice before deciding enough was enough."

You smirked, "does that mean I can call you next time I'm in trouble?"

"As if you would get in trouble. You're a good girl there's no doubt about it. Matter of fact, I know why you really came." She lead you towards the small lounge area. Sitting in the chair facing the window and melting into the cushions. Missing the subtle pink on your face.

You sat across in the other chair, your back to the shinning moon. Although you got to see how the moon reflected against her. Highlighting the silver in her curls. "And what did I really come here for?"

"You've learned of something and you want to help me. But I can reassure you I'm fine. I will keep moving and settle somewhere else." She eyed you curiously, watching as your mouth opened and closed. You were caught. "I appreciate the thought though. It's nice to know someone's not forgotten me."

Your brows furrowed and you frowned. "Lilia you do know living is impossible in this day and age. I'm 35 and just moved out my parent's basement. Where are you really going to go? Not saying I doubt you or anything," you already knew where you were taking this entire conversation.

"I've managed my life this much. I can manage a few more years." She shrugged it down to a mere distraction. Only for it to eat an annoyed groan from across the way.

"You so have no plan and you're accepting that! That is like the worse plan of hoping things work out I've ever heard!" You couldn't help the need to express your opinion suddenly. Even though she had never even asked or told you for sure she was getting evicted. "What happened if you don't find anything? You're just gonna be homeless?"

She knew her circumstances weren't the greatest, but what was she really to do? "I'm sure I'll find something, worst case is an old people home. Don't worry so much about me, baby."

You couldn't help it though. Ever since she introduced herself to you, you couldn't help but worry about her. "I can't help it. You're here just alone 24/7. I hardly see you leave to even get groceries."

"You pay too much attention to my life then," she chuckled. You could tell it was in attempt to change the topic to something, anything else.

"Lilia. I'm serious." Your features rested as your eyes held all your emotions.

She stared at you for a long second. Just staring. The dark chocolate swirls of her eyes werwarmer than ever before in the moonlight. "What would you like me to do then?" She wasn't giving you any sass, it was her genuinely asking you.

You leaned forward, resting your arms on your thighs and you thought. Trying to think of anything you could possibly do to help her. It looked more like you were studying her carpet than thinking....your study. It was a spare bedroom, surely big enough for her. It's not even in the works, still a board of inspiration on Pinterest. She could come live with you. You make enough to cover and with the extra money you still have left over.

Lilia watched as it clicked into place for you. Seeing the glimmer of hope find its way to your eyes highlight. "I have an extra room." You began, raising a finger as she was about to speak. Her eyes widen, "you honestly have no room to argue. No rent, nothing. But in request you help at the shop sometimes?"

She sat silent, just hard staring you."You drive a hard bargain, you know that? You must do this often if you're this good at it." Lilia caved with a huff. You made a strong point anyways. "But you forget, the clay is all your thing."

Your smile was back, "I'll teach you! I'm closed on Sunday's, so it'll be the perfect day to introduce you to the shop and all the things you'll need to know. I won't make you do anything too hard, I promise." your hand extended over the coffee table. "Do I have a deal?"

Her eyes dropped to your hand, she took it with hers. "Fine, you have yourself a deal."

But you didn't really expect the outcome of the deal after a few months of it. You learned of Lilia's habits at home quickly. Like how she's very neat, but also loves a little bit of clutter. For example the tv stand is lined with her crystals and other tarot decks. She kept a specific one on the coffee table however, perfectly stacked and only she touched it.

Although, you couldn't help yourself one night. She had already gone off to bed and you had to do the order before you forgot. Your hands were delicate with them, scared that one touch would make the paper incinerate right before you.

They were what you assumed average. That was until you pulled your flashlight out to really look at the art work and paint. Each card was hand painted and sealed, the gold 'L.C' in the corner of them told you exactly who did it as well. She hand made her deck and just left them lying about like they were everyday cards.

It gave you the perfect idea for a birthday gift for her, seeing as the day was already a few days away. The topic of gifts hadn't come up at all, even when you did try and bring it up, she gave you practically nothing. Yet now you analyzed her personal cards and had to make a matching holder for them.

Your nights at the shop had begun to drag till almost eleven as you hunched over the dried holder. Painting details that matched to the cards, wiping them off after concluding they weren't perfect, only to repaint them. It was like this for almost two weeks. It was two weeks you hardly saw your roommate or even asked her to come in.

The Friday leading to her birthday, was the first time you'd been home at a reasonable time. Not that ten was any better, but when you unlocked the door and got in, Lilia was waiting with a wine glass in her hand.

"Look who's finally home." She was sarcastic about it. Like she was upset that this was another late night with no text, call, or explanation. "Two weeks and this is the first time I'm seeing you."

"You miss me?" The joke rolled from your tired tongue. You trudged to your room, placing your bag down and ridding of your day clothes into a black long sleeve and red plaid boxers. "I'm sorry, the shop has been really busy with the schools on break. Everyone's doing homemade gifts in class and then there's just the everyday pieces. I plan to have everything fired and ready for pick up tomorrow, then I'm closed for like three days."

"So you've been busy, I could've come to help. It is the deal." She got up to pour you a glass, except you just grabbed hers and took a sip. Her brown eyes stalked you talking a sip.

Your face contorted and you waved her back down. Getting up to get your own juice and pouring it into a matching glass. "It wasn't anything I couldn't have handled. Plus a lot of it was kiln work, I didn't teach you anything about Kit."

"Kit? Who's Kit?" Her brows furrowed as she took another sip. You both sat on the couch, you turned to stare at her fully with both legs crossed, while she had one leg bent and leaned against her fist to face you.

"The kiln. He's honestly the only man I would ever allow into my life. Except it seems that people don't take kindly to a kiln being picked over them." You bit the inside of your cheek and shrugged. Really not hearing the issue even as Lilia laughed at you.

"You don't understand how a big oven being picked would offend someone? You do know what you look like and your personality right?" She raised that perfect brows. You loved when she looked at you like this, you knew it meant she was teasing you and meaning it with humor.

"I could look and act like anyone," you tilted the glass at her. "I don't know, maybe I like me and my ceramics. They can never really break my heart. It's easier to trust the Earths natural gifts than an unpredictable human with my heart."

"That's playing it safe, baby." She spoke so softly. Yet every word dug into your brain to the core. Lilia downed her glass and stood up, "I'm turning in for the night. Do you need any help at the shop with all the pickups?"

You knew you brought home hers, so she had no chance of seeing it early. "That'd be really nice, thank you. Have a goodnight, Lilia." You stayed on the couch as she headed for her door. Ignoring (attempting to) how sudden the couch felt without her.

~

The next morning you were up and making Lilia's favorite breakfast. Well...maybe not her favorite, she never outright said it. A lot of things you know of her are honestly from the context of her stories. It was working though, you always seemed to know your way with her.

"You're up early?" Her voice echoed into the kitchen space. She stood in her silk pajamas. They were yellow stripes but they suited her. "Cooking as well?"

"It's a thank you for helping me since it'll be busy today." You spun around, finding her leaning against the counter and staring at you. Yet, you couldn't figure out how she was staring. It was a look you've never seen before from her. "If you're too tired you don't have to."

"No, no...nothing like that. What are you making? Or attempting to make?" She brushed it off and was switching her stare to something more teasing and delightful.

Your nose scrunched up, "I'll have you know a wise woman once said she enjoyed my cooking in the morning. But if you must, it's French toast with cinnamon and strawberry frosting. Served cutely with a cup of coffee."

"Now you're spoiling me. Is it really gonna be that busy?" Lilia watched you plate the breakfast and serve her first. Giving her a show of garnishing. "You should hope you're wrong."

You smirked, knowing you weren't wrong. "And if I am, then this'll have been me spoiling you because I'm sorry I've been out late with no word." You hummed before turning to start your own breakfast. "It'll be nice anyways. Billy's been asking about you recently so he'll be excited to see you. So will Agatha, she doesn't verbally show her liking for people but it's in her actions and expressions sometimes. And her pottery, she really pours her emotions out. Alice also enjoys your company, she said you and Jen, that's her roommate though we all know they're together, would be good friends." You were rambling on about everyone suddenly. Telling her about everyone and how much they always ask about her. It carried you through the entire breakfast.

Lilia was left speechless. She didn't realize that many people knew about her and asked. Nor the fact you were the one they were always asking and you always had an answer. "Now you're just trying to flatter me."

"No! Really! When you come in they're gonna love seeing you! We should start getting ready though, I have a class starting earlier today and running later." You collected the plates and put them in the sink. Slipping away without another word to get into pottery clothes.

With the weather getting nicer you had settled for a light yellow long sleeve and a pair of art overalls. You had painted flowers from the splatters from projects. Slipping on your old boots and grabbing your bag. Leaving your hair in the messy clip you did this morning.

As you closed your door, Lilia's closed in time with you. Your head snapped around to her in a flowing skirt and a sweater filled with colors. Her curls were free, falling graciously down her back and you suddenly felt your heart stop. Your hand was at your chest, and you just played it to dusting your shoulder.

You hadn't said anything after seeing her then. Staying silent and scolding yourself to not gawk and drool over her. No matter how badly you could imagine your hands tangled in her peppered mane, along with the many reasons why. Your cheeks must've flushed cause Lilia was staring at you now worried.

You were in the middle of moving the paints and everything to the circle table in the sunlight. But you had stopped and were just staring out the window. Blushing from your own lucid thoughts.

"Your cheeks are warm and pink," her voice cut through. Her soft hands were on your cheeks before you had noticed, holding them for only a moment. Lilia glowed in the sun light. Just like she did in the moonlight. She was earthal. Universally beautiful. Day and night, never did she falter. A timeless beauty.

"I'm..I'm good. I just..don't worry." You managed out finally. It felt like the air was being vacuumed out your lungs. Your chest was beginning to feel tight. Is this what dying is? An angel to hold you while it all just goes warm and tingly? Or is this what love felt like? Were they the same thing?

Saved when Billy was soon the first to show up. You must be behind already. You're too distracted today. Asking yourself by what was a foolish move, you just couldn't grasp the reality of the cause.

"Oh Lilia! It's good to see you again! We've missed you around here." He greeted the lady with a hug before coming to settle at the table. "You should join our class for today, we're making a tea set this time. And since you guys live together you could divvy up the work."

"Oh no, I wouldn't want to impose. I'm just here to help hand out the finished pieces." She waved a dismissive hand, much to your dismay. Even when she caught the sad glint take root in your eye, she stood by the front desk.

"I'm sure with a good towel and teamwork, you both could manage. Join us just for the day." The teen was persistent as he tied the apron around his body. "Come learn the juicy gossip this one spills in the circles."

"I do not spill any gossip! If anything it's Agatha who tells the most," you defended your name. A finger raised in the air, "and besides, I don't live a life to have anything!"

"Oh that's such a lie," Agatha had waltzed in. Her hair already pinned back and instantly found her seat at the table. "Just last week you had a fresher scoop on Dotti and her husband before I did. And I'm their neighbor!"

Lilia looked shocked to hear this, her eyes wide as they stared at you. "And what do you know about Dotti and her husband?" She challenged you.

And suddenly it was like a switch had been flipped. "Ok so, there's an update to them as well, from like yesterday morning. So to fill you in," you slowly sat down at your wheel.

Alice came in last finally, "we're already gossiping? I knew I was running late but not this late." She filled the empty wheel to your right. Making haste to get situated and get right in.

"We just started. We're starting with Dotti." You wiggled your brows.

"Oh! Did you hear about yesterday morning?!" You nodded your head. "Oh I heard the actual end of it, it sounded good so I'm ready." Alice sat, hands at the ready.

Your hands grabbed at the clay from the center, everyone following. "So I heard that he had forgotten their anniversary....again." You got lost in telling the details, some so itty bitty they questioned if you were actually there.

Lilia, from the front, listened and paid every ounce of attention to you when not helping a customer. She noted how relaxed you were in this setting. Eyes trained to the clay that span under your fingers, shoulders dropped, smile blooming as everyone talked. Overall, you seemed so at peace. She enjoyed watching you in this state.

"Yeah, Rio said she'd join one day." Agatha had spoken when Lilia tuned back in to the full conversation and not staring at you.

"We could do a little couples pottery! Alice and Jen, Agatha and Rio, Me and Teddy!" Then he turned to you and you could only throw your head back in laughter. "It's not funny! You've lived here long enough and still haven't tried dating!"

"Oh but that's not what I've heard." Agatha was the one to eye you now. Your face reddened when you felt her gaze burn into your hair. "Rumor is you're getting home late for two weeks?"

You shook your head, "officer no! It's not what you think!" You cried humorously before agreeing though. "Yeah, I have been. I've been busy here at the shop. Someone's gotta fire everything."

"Got any witnesses to back you up? Cause it gets juicier." Agatha continued, her eyebrow sharp.

You gasped, geneuinly confused on what's being said about you. "Oh my- what have people been saying?! Do people think I'm a...whore?" You whispered the title. Devastation written all over your face.

Lilia was dying to know where this was leading. This was her answer of if you really were here all those hours or you found someone young and they just kept you out all night. Being young.

"Oh they're thinking more than that. Recently Norm has been getting home around those hours as well....I'm sure the dots connect for you just like it does for everyone else." She eyed you, everyone was. "For him it's great, they think he finally found someone. For you though, they're saying it's settling."

You were cackling at that now. "Oh my God, no! I would never settle for Norm! Never! Who even started this rumor?" You couldn't help but to see the ridiculousness of the entire situation.

Your eyes quickly, praying she wasn't already looking at you, jumped to Lilia. She was staring right at you. If you didn't tear your eyes away, you'd have spaced out but when you felt the blush sprinting up your neck you had to. It made its way to your cheeks anyways.

"I think it was Herb. He's always been close with Norm. Maybe he saw you go home late one time." She reasoned, her hands up as she finished her teapot, examining her own work. "It reminds me of Rio."

Alice chuckled, finishing her own pot as well. "Herb and Norm starting the rumor you slept with him honestly makes sense. Recently his mom and sister have been pestering him about bringing a girl around." She added.

"I don't think I've ever even talked to either of them outside this shop. This is why being the young, single, shop owner is a trap in itself. If I wasn't a young, single, shop owner they would've never even bothered. So next time you hear someone put dirt on my name, I'm going to need you to clean it for me." You pointed a finger to everyone. Making sure they really understood you were serious.

Billy huffed, "so does that mean no couples class?" He put his best puppy eyes forward. And to your surprise, Agatha and Alice had joined him in their own way.

You soaked in their pleading expressions, letting your eyes slowly wonder to the woman at the front. "Fine...Lilia will just have to be my partner for it. And she'll act like it's the worst thing she's ever done, but we all know I'm the best in town."

"Please," Lilia scoffed. "Just the other week you didn't understand why picking a kiln over a human was offensive." She handed out the last pick up for the day. Surprised that it was all gone before two. She had finally came over to see what was actually happening.

"First of all, he has a name. His name is Kit. Use it and respect it. Second, maybe people should be more understanding." You shrugged. "Alright, I say we each make at least four tea cups. They're the same as the bowls basically, but...cup shaped."

Billy waved in the air first. "No, hold on. We are not skipping that. I've first hand seen Rio try to flirt with Agatha when she's pissed off, but that takes the title for most embarrassing."

Your jaw dropped with a gasp. "Excuse me! It's not embarrassing at all!"

"It so is! You're literally hot and you're picking kilns over people? That's like the biggest case of looks being deceiving." He kept going. His hands moving around in dramatics. "Like you pull in with the great appearance, and then you pick...the oven. I bet it's something deeper. There's another reason you pick the kiln."

Agatha perked up, eyes instantly glowing. She was ready to poke at you. "Oh I bet there is. You make the kiln out of the bodies of your dates and that's why we never know who they are?"

"Agatha...what the fuck?" You used the ball of your hand to rub between your furrowed brows. "There is no deeper meaning on why I like my kiln over most people."

"Over most...there's someone you're after isn't there?" Her brown eyes bored into you, not letting you look to anyone for help. She held you hostage for an answer. "Oh there is. Who is it? Is it actually Norm?"

"No!" Your voice worked quicker than your brain. "No there is no one, and even if there was it wouldn't be Norm. Like I said, I would never settle with a man. I'm dedicated to women, have been since I was sixteen. Billy is the only one here who likes men anyways."

"You never let us poke fun at you." Billy sighed. His eyes bouncing up to Lilia. "Do you get to make jokes at home?"

In that moment, you turned up to see. A part of you wondering what she would really answer. Because in reality, you do let her make fun of you. Every day, any day if she wanted. If it earned you a smile or a laugh, you didn't care. You just wanted to see and hear her happiness.

"Every now and then I get a good one in. For two weeks I haven't made one though, someone's too busy sneaking around with Norm." Lilia made her point, her cunning smirk stared back at you.

You managed out a chuckle and shook your head, "I'm not sneaking around! Can I not just be a shop owner who was tending to her customers work?"

Alice was the one to answer, "that's too easy. You need a little spice on your name."

"No! No I don't! I like my life plain, it's never disrupted and is just there." You tried to defend, suddenly it seemed with Lilia next to you everyone was going to get a dig in.

"Yeah, except a plain life wouldn't involve late nights with no alibi." Billy pointed.

"So you really do have to be hiding something from us if you're trying to play it down." Agatha nodded along.

"I was here. I know it's the truth so believe it or not. I was here for two consecutive weeks firing and making things for people to just come paint. Because I'm starting that soon, instead of being just clay." You were insistent now, really just wanting to clear the two weeks.

There was a collection of hums, trying to decide if it was a good enough excuse or not. "And where are these pieces then?" Lilia nudged you. She hadn't seen any extra pieces in the back.

You were silent. Caught in your own lie. Usually, the three wouldn't have known what's in the back. You would've told them there, that you have a shelf near the kiln to put them all on. But Lilia had been back there. She's seen what's there and what was not there.

"Oh..seems like you've been put in the hot seat. How do you plead now?" Agatha's eyes raised to find you with rosy cheeks and trained to your own hands.

"Not guilty." You mumbled. "I'm dropping the topic." The three groaned but let it go anyways. Leaving the rest of the class to random talks about what's been happening in their lives, minus you as they seemed to already know.

And the topic never came back up till it was just you and Lilia in the shop. With the sign on the door reading close and each cleaning in different areas. You in the back putting in the pieces from today and then going to wipe down and wash the tools used.

"So...if you've been sneaking around," she raised. Holding back her laugh as you groaned. "Well you were the one who was caught in a lie."

"Yeah cause I didn't think you'd air me out like that! I really have been here. You know I don't like men, I've stressed that, so it's not even realistic. I've been here just working honestly." You sounded more defeated, maybe it was cause you were tired as the sun slowly started setting. "Why does it bother you so much, even if it was me sneaking around?"

Lilia was suddenly next to you, her lips pressed together. She was biting back her true answer and now you knew how it felt to not know the truth. "If you're sneaking around, it means it's not for the public and you just deserve better than that, that's all. I want you to be happy and well taken care of."

"I am happy. I am also well taken care of. I have no purpose to sneak around with anyone. If I was, you would've known of them by now. But there is nobody. I don't need anyone else," your sentence fell off and remained incomplete. there was a moment where you both just stared in silence. Like you both knew that there was something being unsaid. "We should finish up and get home. I haven't had a night at home in ages." Her curls bounced in agreement. Leaving your side and going back to the front, wiping down a few more tables.

~

When you got home, you could only sigh. The day had finally caught up to you and you wanted nothing but out of your clothes. Lilia seemed the same way as she had instantly disappeared into her room. At first that's what you really did believe, expecting her to come back out within five minutes to have a drink with you.

You chose something simple, a pair of grey sweatpants that hung low and the same long black sleeve from the other night. Finally letting your hair down and washing your skin from all the clay that still was on you. Feeling incredibly refreshed for the night.

You left your room, sliding in socks to the kitchen. Pouring two glasses, one red and the other juice. You couldn't help but giggle at how childish you seemed drinking fruit punch out a wine glass, mocking the wine glass that was clearly darker. Lilia had joined you only a few seconds later, wearing your shirt and pajama pants.

You pulled your legs together and stared at her. "So..your birthday is tomorrow. Got any plans? Anything you want?" You started, taking the first sip as well.

"Little late to be asking about a gift, don't ya' think?" She leaned back to fully look at you, head propped against her fist. You've realized how natural this is, how easily you both fall into this exact spot night after night.

"That's you assuming I didn't already get you something." You hummed, wiggling your brows a bit. "Anything you want to do?"

"I haven't celebrated a birthday in ages, I don't think I'll start now. But thank you for the thought." She went to shut down the topic, but your facial expression was unsatisfied. "I'm sorry, its just another day for me."

"Boo!" You gave her two thumbs down in her face. Pulling them away before she could swat them down, the sound of your laugh gracing the air. "Well, luckily for you Lilia Calderu, I have a special day planned for you that is the perfect mix of relaxing and spoiling." You beamed, proud of how well you managed to keep everything quiet till now.

The older woman only shook her head. "Baby, we really don't have to celebrate it. Really." Your stomach did flips at the pet name, the blush on your cheeks reddening just slightly. It seemed once you realized your hearts desires, you couldn't conceal anything anymore.. "Anyways, you've done enough for me this year than needed."

"That's because I wanted to do those things. You think I stood outside your shop in the cold because I needed to? I did it cause I wanted to know you. And now that I know you, I want to do something meaningful for you. Also it's a day to celebrate my favorite roommate, so yeah..we're celebrating tomorrow." Your eyes were everything of warm and giving. Lilia enjoyed this stare, how you treated her so well.

She caved, "Alright, what do you have planned? Pottery at the shop?"

You audibly gasped, "Lilia do you think that's all I know?!" You were so happy here. "I planned a late morning so you can sleep in, so I can sleep in, and then I'll make your favorite brunch. After we're going to that one show you had mentioned wanting to see, but eating dinner before because it's not till 8. Everything would be closed by the time we got out. To finish, we'll do presents before bed."

"That is quite the day planned. Is there a limit to how late we're sleeping in? And what say do I get in any of this?" She wasn't objecting to anything, so you figured you had done well. Now everything just had to go as well.

Your head shook left to right, "no ma'am. Sleep as late as you want. It's brunch for a reason. And as for what say you get, you can have all the say, I just made the plan." Your hands were in the air surrendering all power to her.

~

While you had woken up first and began cooking, you wore boxers and the same black long sleeve. Shaking your hips at the song in your head. Something about today told you that it was bound to be so much better than what you had prepared.

Today you woke up and told yourself you would hint at your feelings. Leaving it open for her to catch on in her own time, but you couldn't bring yourself to out right tell her. Not when you had no idea if she could ever reciprocate those feelings. Yet, you danced while making the perfect breakfast for you and her to share.

Your mind couldn't help to focus on her though, subconsciously flipping the pancakes at this point.

Lilia was many things, you had realized this quickly, but your favorite word to tease her with was kooky. Sometimes even wispy. She always was mumbling different tarot cards to herself. You had played it down to a pull she did earlier or something that had a significance with the card. You also used those terms when she would be scolding you for some tiny mess you had left from either cooking or doing pottery out on the balcony. Those were your favorite times as well.

If it was just right outside and you had enough free time, you would work on new techniques and designs. Lilia would bring herself, a cup of tea leaves, and a blanket that would be wrapped over her legs. She would watch you work first, maybe for the most of ten minutes, before she emerged herself into the tea leaves. You never understood it either, you weren't in her world unfortunately. You knew nothing about tarot or tea leaves. She never let you in either, not like how you did her into your world of clay.

As much as it pained you to not see through her lens, you had managed to accept it and witness from the neighboring universe. You mostly enjoyed being her witness when she couldn't sleep and asked you to come sit in the living room with her. Even if it had been the most grueling day at work, you did. You pried yourself from the warmth of your bed and to the living room.

You were unaware of the many times you did fall asleep though. Lilia felt bad most those nights, yet she needed your presence to ground her from it all. All the crazed times she travels through. But it wasn't till the first time you had came out and laid your head in her lap, so exhausted you didn't even fight it and just slept on her lap that night. Her hands pulled the lovers card as well that night.

"You're making pancakes?" Her voice cleared your thoughts instantly. Especially when you whipped around to see her. Lilia had her curls free from all maintenance, sleep evident in her eyes as she yawned. She still was in your shirt.

"Do you not want pancakes, birthday girl?" You wore a teasing smirk already. Excited to celebrate her even more as she was awake. "I made chocolate chip ones, assuming that you liked them a lot the way you wolfed down three the first time I made them for you."

"Alright no need to be so cocky, baby. It's my day remember? Plus, you surrendered all control so I'd be nice if I were you." She fed your teasing right back to you. Finding a seat at the kitchen table, knowing you were already done in time for when she woke up. Her eyes followed you as you danced around the kitchen to gather everything and set the table. "Thank you," she hummed when you placed a perfect plate in front of her. "You really have stepped up your presentation skills."

"Only the best for you Madame Calderu." You glowed with her attention on you. Taking your own seat, you raised your glass of orange juice. "Happy birthday, Lilia." Lilia smirked at your antics but raised her glass anyways. Clinking the rim of her glass to yours.

It fell quiet for the first bites, the only sound that could be heard was Lilia moaning in approval at the taste of each pancake. A childish glimmer was in her eyes. "You know how to make a girl feel special." She praised you as she continued to eat. You only giggled and let the silence return as you also ate without much to say.

Even while you cleaned up, it was silent as Lilia stayed at the table and watched your every move. You were overly aware of that fact as well. "Can I ask you a question about your pajama choice?" It wasn't what you were expecting, but you nodded anyways. "It's a mix of very feminine pieces, like silks and pinks, while other times it's this almost masculine? What's that all about?"

"Most of my clothes are the ones from my exploring as a twenty year old who didn't know what type of gay was the right one yet. So I went between being hyperfeminine and masculine to see who was right for me. Eventually I gave up because it seemed it was never me, but more so who I was with. I didn't like that idea of changing my appearance for others though. I kept a mix of it all because in the end I'm gonna be gay, so what do my clothes matter?" You had rambled a bit, being honest about the evolution of your wardrobe. "Does it bother you?"

"No...no, I was just intrigue. I do your laundry and sometimes it really does look like you have a man here whose clothes I'm always washing. I can see why people think you and Norm were happening." She smirked behind the rim of her mug.

Your head had whipped around, a mean glare being shot from your spot. "I'm not sneaking with Norm! I have eyes for someone else anyways! So ha!" You stuck your tongue out at her.

"Oh yeah? Who? Kit?" She scrunched her nose. Not giving you a chance to keep defending yourself by getting up to find a spot on the couch. Also, Lilia didn't want to hear about you having the hots for anyone that wasn't her. It awoke a green monster she hadn't seen in a long time. "Did you plan anything for the four hours between brunch and getting ready?"

You came over after finishing up, head shaking. "No, I figured id leave it open for you to decide what we do?" You sat closer than intended, the couching sinking under you and sliding you right next to Lilia. It would be rude to scoot away so you got yourself situated to be more comfortable. "Maybe catch up on the show you've missed the last few episodes of?"

"You'd really sit here and watch that with me?" She really was enjoying having you do whatever she wanted already. "You said last time, and I quote, this show doesn't even had good plot, the gayness is all portrayed wrong. No lesbian actually does that pose."

You glanced down to your hands then back to her. "For you Lilia Calderu, it seems I will do a lot of things. So if that is truly what you want to do, then I will sit here and suffer for your happiness." You sighed out defeat as she reached for the remote. "It really is not how any gay person would act, I want you to know that."

"Yeah? And how do they really act?" She turned to look at you, the first moment the brown was visible for you, your brain failed to comprehend. It was honestly a good example of a gay panic without intent. "Hmm, so I see." Her hand was on your cheek instantly following. Her eyes darkened just slightly as she searched your features.

"See..see what?" You so dumbly managed, completely in this woman's trance. Never wanting to leave it though, all her focus was you and she just saw you.

Although, she flashed you that smile and the conversation was dropped as the show began playing. Her attention no longer on you but on the screen. There it stayed for the next few hours, never breaking away. Well you wouldn't know as you caved into the body heat Lilia radiated and fell into a small nap on her shoulder.

Lilia however refused to wake you until four, lulling you into a deeper state of sleep by playing with the few strands that weren't clips back. But surely she had taken it out to really play in your hair, nails scratching over your scalp as you pushed deeper into her side. A hand throwing itself over her lap was the sign you were actually deep asleep. How long had you been up for you to be this tired naturally? The day had hardly started.

Yet, by five-thirty both of you stood by the doors to your bedrooms gawking at the other. You, in a baby pink mini dress, the back was a corset and a big bow right atop your butt. A simple white short cardigan covered your arms and white chunky heels dawned your feet. Tying everything together with an assortment of jewels and metals. Lilia, in plaid wide legged pants that flowed nicely, it was assortments of yellows and blues over a deep maroon. A plain white button up and a mustard yellow jacket that complimented with the pants. She must've been wearing some platform on her boots as she stood only slightly taller than her average days.

You smiled and your cheeks warmed when she returned it. "You look nice," you made the first step towards the door. Picking up your keys and opening the door for her. "M'lady," you bowed and gestured out.

"You look lovely as well, baby. I could almost tease you all night long while you look this cute." Huh? Had you heard her right? There was no time to question it once she was out the door, looping her arm with yours as you began to talk down. "So where is dinner?"

You slightly smiled, still caught on her previous statement. "It's a little place Billy and Alice both suggested. We told Agatha to not give her opinion after she suggested Starks. That woman and her...Rio are the finest dinners I've ever met. But it's still nice and up there, just more affordable."

"I'm sure it'll be just fine." She hummed. Her approval seemed to be something you were always constantly chasing, stressing yourself for it to the days end. You loved when she thought you did a good job. It at some point began to tickle a need and drive in you, even if you were unaware.

And the dinner was fine, actually it was almost perfect. You had known they served Sicilian specialties, which made Lilia ecstatic to try and compare them to her own cooking. Maybe you should start learning more dishes to cook.

You did let her pick your meal, seeing as you were oblivious to what half of the items tasted or even looked like. It was how you asked that stirred the shift. "Lilia...can you order for me?" You were so shy about asking her. It was such a childish thing to do, when you could've looked it all up, but she was there and knew how each one should taste.

Her hand came up to cup your cheek, her brown earthal gaze was full of mischief and mysteries. "Aww, the lil' chef out her comfort zone? Don't worry, I've got you baby." Lilia beamed anyways and glanced back to the menu. Leaving you to sit dumb and pretty.

The way her lips formed the pet name was enticing. Calling you closer when they pressed together, but pulling back when you did lean in. The deep red was perfect for her. It complimented her every shimmer of her eyes when she got lost in the topic with you.

Lilia called you 'baby' a lot more during the dinner after you had asked her as well. You squirmed in how you slowly felt yourself slipping further and further into her. The worst part about it was the fact she knew what she was doing. Her faux worries of, "baby are you ok?" Or if it was her hand grabbing yours and saying, "can I do anything to help?" Her fingers tracing into your palm, more specifically her middle and ring finger pushing them into the skin.

The server was your savior for the night, coming by frequently to give you time to collect yourself from Lilia. Trying your absolute best to pull your brain back to this planet. Especially when they brought out the little slice of cake with a candle.

The sight of it sobered you up thankfully. A goofy grin shinning from your glossed lips. "Happy Birthday Lilia," you were sparkling like the flame. This was the moment you waited for all night. To see the hidden child finally be celebrated. To see a woman to finally be celebrated for holding on. To see Lilia being celebrated for just being herself.

She felt the world disappear as she blew out the candle. Feeling the wave of appreciation you sent her way as the smoke swayed into the air. "You really are the sweetest, ya' know? Always taking care of me, from the very start. I knew there was something to you."

You weren't quite sure what that meant but you gave a nervous laugh. "I just know when I like someone I guess. I care about the people I like. You're one of those people. You always will be." Your emotions were mixed within your words and they invaded your eyes.

Lilia let her hand return to your cheek, "you make me feel special when you look at me like that."

It was the perfect opening, "it's cause you are. You've been special...and kooky." You teased her back finally. Her eyes narrowing just slightly at you, her hand falling and retreating. But you grabbed it and held it for a second, "I mean it. You are special Lilia. I've been trying to get you to realize that." A weight had crumbled from your shoulders. Even if it wasn't a direct confession, it made you feel open enough that she had a grasp of the idea.

She sighed and focused on how your fingers played with her rings. Your touch was soft and precise. She should've known that though, with how you work with clay and design such intricate shapes, of course you had skilled hands. "You might be the only one who thinks that much of me."

"Good, only I can think of you." It came flying out quicker than you noticed. Once Lilia let out a rumbling laugh, you caught up.

"What? You wanna be my only baby or something?" The confidence she radiated made you feel hot. You put yourself in this situation.

If you backed down, you'd never know. If she said no, that she didn't feel the same, you'd be ok with that. You might spend the night crying and alone but that'll be ok.

"What if I do?" You tried to match her, not even coming close when she shifted more forward. Her canine teeth barred themselves to you. The light making them look sharper than you've ever noticed.

Her tongue darted out, catching your attention to those lips again. Your breathing picked up and you felt on the edge like you've never been before. It was a long drop, you knew that, but if you just got one kiss you'd happily fall. Hell, you'd full sprint off the edge while laughing hysterically.

You pried away and back to her eyes. They were now dark rivers in the night. Lust swimming around and creating little waves of reflected moonlight. This was a look you never knew could be real. "You wanna be mama's good girl don't you?"

The names. The look. Her touch under yours. It was earth shattering. Like everything you had built and had made was only the second important thing to you. The first was her. The first had always been her. "Yes...yes please." Your eyes glossed over in seconds. Succumbing to her dominance and slipping bashful.

Lilia grew a grin that was a combination of everything from sweet and nurturing to hot and destructive. "Is that really what you want, baby?"

Your head nodded while your lips slightly parted. "Yes, more than anything. Please..." the server came back around once more with your card and the final receipt. Wishing you both a goodnight, and Lilia another birthday wish. You signed it smoothly and then huffed yourself back into the reality of what was just happening. "I really do want this."

Lilia hadn't taken you as one to have such a deep headspace, so when you were really meeting her gaze she knew it couldn't have been easy to come back from it. She was the first to stand, wrapping herself in the yellow coat. It was then she came and stood closer to you, having the higher advantage. "I do too, believe me." She leaned forward and kiss your forehead. "I do too, baby." Her kisses must've been powerful because your eyes were blown all over again. You had fallen deep back into it. She couldn't help to hold your soft cheek at it all, it was one of her new favorite moments. "Why don't we go see that show?"

You beamed and nodded. Pulling your own coat over your dress. You were instant to intertwine your fingers, letting her pull you on out but keeping you close behind. You already were a fan of holding her hand, never wanting to let go.

The only time you did was when you sat and her hand held your thigh. She left it there the entire show. It was a distraction just being still, it was derailment when her nails scratched up and down. You had tried to grab her hand and hold it still, yet she would only turn and give you this warning look before returning to the stage. You let go and traced shapes into her hand to focus from her ministrations.

It was the end of the show and not a single line had reached you. You just stood with everyone else while clapping along. The echoing applause sounded the same as the crackling of fire that was your skin. Lilia had you warming up with such light touches. But eventually, it all died down and the cool air of outside is sizzling your skin out.

"Did you like it?" Lilia had asked you, a little eager to know your thoughts on such a show. You only nodded, attempting to play it like you had been paying attention and not thinking of her and all the things she might do to you. Those wised eyes knew though, she knew you hadn't caught a single thing said the moment her hand touched your soft thigh. "Yeah? And what was your favorite part?"

"The acting." You so simply stated. Hoping it was good enough for her to not continue to press. But that would be too easy.

"Who's?" She raised her brow and all you could do was give her a blankness look while walking closer to the car. "You weren't paying attention were you?" The guilt filled your body and answered in itself. Lilia's curls danced around her as her head shook. "That truly is a shame, it's an amazing play."

Your frown was quick to appear, "'m sorry...it's just...you didn't make it easy..." you apologized. Stepping into her space and looping your arm with hers.

"Oh so it's my fault?" She lowly chuckled out her question. A cocky smile filling the silence as you stuttered out sounds but no words. "I'm just teasing you, baby. Don't get yourself so worked up over it."

"And because of your teasing I couldn't pay attention." You bit the inside of your cheek, leaning against her to throw off her balance. Succeeding in the efforts and snickering.

Lilia laughed with you, even as she regained herself. Her arm slipped from yours and her hand settled on your back. "Did I tease you the entire time to work you up? Maybe. And maybe pretty girl, I plan to finish what I started at home."

You rounded to stand in front of her, cheeks turning red but the night dimming it out. Her lips were curled with a smirk that implied everything you needed to know. Soon it was you holding her hand and dragging her to the car.

~

It started with her straddling your lap in the center of your bed. Her lips kissing all over yours and down your neck, finding every right spot to leave you gasping. The feeling felt overwhelming, to finally have her kissing you. It was feeling like everything was hypersensitive. Stinging with pleasure as she continued all over.

Your hand slipped into her curls, twisting your fingers with the pattern and holding her close. She knew how to work a body and it showed.

Lilia also knew how to stake her claim. Leaving bruises all down the spans of your neck. A silent thought to show the town you were no longer available rang in her head. And when your hand found her hair, she only could groan against you. You needed her just as she needed you. It made her blood rush with anticipation. She wanted to make you feel better than you've ever felt. Really secure her place in your mind. Making sure nobody could ever come in and kick her out.

Her lips were plush against your pulse. Even when they covered her teeth as they sunk into you, the moan slipped straight from your throat. Your free hand flew to steady yourself on her hip, feeling the heat radiating from her. How it seeped through her clothes and onto your exposed skin.

"Lilia..." You hummed before swallowing thickly. You didn't know what you were actually asking for, all you knew is you wanted more of her. In your sight, on your tongue, in your hands, echoing in your ears, and filling your every breath. The very feeling of her on you wasn't enough as you really caved into her. "Mama..."

Her hum vibrated against you, "Yes baby?" You whined at the pet name finally. Knowing that if there was anytime to let her know her effect it was here and now. And the way she called you 'baby' always tickled something deeply rooted in your brain.

You sighed out, the hand on her hip began fisting her top. Begging her closer, "more..."

"So needy...I bet you've been needing me for a while haven't you?" Her movements lightened to almost ghostly passes. It made your skin crawl with goosebumps. "You're the perfect gift for me baby." She spoke low and with rasp. "My perfect girl."

You gasped at the claim. "All yours..." you tightened your grip. Just the subtle touches of her, the amber and deep musk invading your lungs, the sounds of her lips on your skin, sucking, bruising you, everything. It was everything this woman was doing and also wasn't doing that drove you into override. Your mind felt hazy and your body felt hot and tingly. "Mm..please mama...I need more." You whined.

Lilia pulled off, cupping your cheek and seeing that long gone look in your eyes. Your pupils dilated to the very brim of color. "I hear you baby," she hummed. It was effortless to get you to lie down. All it took was a glance back at the pillows and you were crawling frantically to get comfortable. "You look so damn adorable in this dress. Just like a doll."

Your cheeks warmed further and you couldn't help the small grin. "Thank you, I bought it just for you," you bashfully confessed. And suddenly you were on your knees showing yourself off to her.

"Isn't that just sweet of you, dressing for me already. And you're so well mannered baby, you really did want to be my good girl." She smirked as your head bobbed in agreement with a proud smile. "You'll be good for me right? Even when mama buries her cock so deep in you?"

Her hands were holding you firmly in place and she was back in your space. On you without even an inch apart. Lilia was struggling to keep her control and work you up...but fuck you for being so precious. She couldn't help the need to destroy it. To make you her slutty baby.

Her shuddering breath made you lower back down from her. Sitting back on your heels and staring up at her. "Yeah...yes..yes I'll be good even then. Promise," you batted your lashes.

The lust in her eyes deepened to something darker. "Mama's gonna have so much fun with you baby."

You glowed with innocence as you eagerly settled your self back into the pillows again, this time Lilia trapped you down with her hands on either side of you. Her devilish smile seemed nothing of mischief to you, so you were giggling up to her. Relishing in what you thought would be slow and languished.

How naive you were.

Lilia's lips were latching to your chest completely disregarding your already bruised neck, making you gasp and cry. But she made a whole new mural of purple across your collar bones. Leaving your chest rising in deep breaths. "Nobody's gonna think you're single now baby. No more rumors with you and anyone else."

You tried to catch yourself to respond but before you knew it her lips were pressing over your covered stomach. "I'm gonna fuck you in and out of this dress so nicely, baby. The things you make me want to do."

"Mama..." you whined while your hips bucked into the air, bumping into her chest. It made you realized how clothed she is against you and your dress. Your hand grabbed her shoulder, fisting the shirt just once more and pulling carefully at it. "Your shirt...off please." You were polite even in your stare as she obliged.

Letting you drink in the sight as she undid each button one by one. Soon the white fabric was on the floor and she was in just her white bra. Her boobs spilling out just right. Your eyes twinkled with thoughts of kissing them and sucking on them. Making her moan and hum in delight.

Lilia must've seen the gears turning cause she returned to kissing her way down. "When I'm done with you, then you can have whatever you need from me. Got it?"

Your head agreed, "yes mama." Your eyes focused on her between your legs. You were desperate to burn it into your brain. More desperate for her to actually eat you out though.

Lilia was kissing all around your core. Your thighs were left with even more love bites than your chest. "I can't wait to taste how sweet my girl is." She pressed her lips to your clit, smiling to herself as you sharply inhaled and body stilled. Her fingers hooked into the waistband, pulling your white panties down and off your legs.

The cold air over your wetness made you shiver in anticipation. It was when her warm breath fanned over you did you cry out. "Please, I need you so bad mama. I can't take any longer." You pleaded.

It was the richest honey her ears had ever been given. Her tongue flattened against you and in one swipe she collected as much of you as she could. Humming in content at your taste that was all hers. This was her secret stash of honey that only she'd ever be allowed to use. And she couldn't get enough.

Her tongue ravage you in ways you didn't expect. Like she had done this so much it was practically second nature. The thought made you shift slightly, but Lilia seemed to know you in this state like the back of her cards. "I've never had anyone like you baby. I just can't get enough. You're so fucking sweet. So...god who did I please to get you? Hmm? My sweet, sweet fucking girl."

Your body loosened and began to heat up. The coil in your stomach tightening in the most delicious ways. "Ma..mama..don't stop please.."

She hummed against you again, picking up her pace and pushing harder against you. Slurping up as much of you as she could as you came with a cry of her name. Her actual name.

You had snapped back to feel the reality of it for just one moment. To grab her hand and squeeze it as she kept licking and sucking at you. And then as conscious as you were, you were back to whining for her.

Lilia delivered one last lick before placing kisses all over your hips and thighs. Trailing all the way up to your lips, were you both hummed at the taste of you. "We're gonna have issues now that I know you're just a piece of my favorite candy. I'll never be able to resist you, baby."

You, still trying to catch a steady breathing, giggled. "You're exaggerating, mama." Your hand cupped her cheek and you smiled widely once again.

Yet, Lilia only crashed her lips to yours once again. This time a little more rough as her tongue slipped in while you gasped. Establishing itself and dancing lead with yours. She was making sure you tasted what she just did. And when she pulled back, her eyes were sharper as they stared down at you. "The way I'm going to fuck you will make you realize just how humble you are. That you wont believe that's how people want to do you. But only mama will get you. Only mama."

It was much more commanding now. The air felt thicker and you felt your body melt into the mattress you were in flames.

Your heavy breathes were the only thing to be heard as Lilia stood and riffed of her pants. Swaying her hips as she disappeared out the room. You took the minute she was gone to just breathe and calm your racing heart beat.

All your efforts were instantly thrown out however. Lilia returned, and much to her word, she had a rather large strap around her waist. Although it looked rather real if you had any say. She pointed towards the ground in front of her. Flashing her sharp teeth as you obeyed and she was able to collect a fistful of your hair. "Go on. Suck mama before she ruins you."

You loved this switch. Yes her softness and delicacy were nice, but this side of her made your skin crawl with heat. She was dominating everything from your body to your mind. There was nothing besides Lilia.

Your plush lips wrapped around just the tip and Lilia's brows twitched for a split second. You had begun to bob up and down her, chalking it up to be the sight getting her off the most. It was when her hips began to roll with the movement of you, hitting deeper in your throat. Then her hand in your hair had begun to tighten and her hips started snapping faster. She was throat fucking you. Groaning and gasping at the desperate way you held her thighs to stabilize yourself as tears rolled past your temples. All while you kept your eyes on hers.

With one last deep thrust, warmth had shot down the back of your throat and Lilia gave a shaky moan. Her hand let up in your hair and you slipped her out your mouth. You swallowed once to get everything down. Cheeks bright red as you stared at the twitching appendage. White cum still oozed slowly out the tip and your eyes had jumped up.

But Lilia didn't explain anything, she just pointed to the bed. "On all fours baby." Was the only instruction.

Apart of you was in conflict. Something was whispering so quietly to pull out of the deep space you were in. It was so quiet it was gone with the sound of floor creaking under your knees as you stood. Finding your spot in the middle, exactly how Lilia wanted you. Listening to the room around you to find the woman.

Her wised hands ran over your hips, one up your spin and to your neck. Pushing you down into the mattress. Her fingers ghosted the curve of your body. "And look, there's even a bow in the back." She played with the fabric a little before flipping it over to bare your ass to her. She was memorized by your glistening folds. "You're impeccable, baby." She held your hips more firm and lined herself up. "Mama's gonna take such good care of you baby. Don't ever worry again."

You let out a strangled moan as she bottomed out, letting out her own grunt as well. Her chest was pressed against your back as she gave you both a second to adjust. And after five, she was slowly easing into her pace. Pulling all the way to the tip, just to slam all the way back in. "Look at you, already taking me so well." Her lips pressed against your spine.

"Th..thank you..'mmhh..mama," you managed. Your hands fisted at the sheets and your hips started to push back against her. Helping her to find a deeper, softer spot. Once she registered it was your sweet spot her hips moved quicker.

Snapping against you and pounding you into the mattress. "Fuck baby...I don't think I can ever let you leave now. Not when you're sucking me in like this." It was brutal how quick she was moving.her hand snuck around your body and two fingers circled around your clit.

"Fuck...fuck me mama. Just like that. Please, please, please just like that." You felt your breath hitch in your throat and your body tighten. It felt all so good, so warm, so right. You clenched around her as you let a moan echo into the room.

But Lilia kept going. Her pace never faltering as she just slammed into you. Her nails digging into your beautiful hips, pulling you back against each thrust. It felt like she had began to find deeper as your body was working up all over again.

"You're so captivating baby, ever since the day you first arrived. I couldn't help myself but want more of you. And denying you..god that was the worst part. I was denying myself. But now, now we're done denying." You heard her words but they felt like muffled harmonies just passing through.

Your body tensed again and you were crying out again. "Mama..." you tried to get away, leaning forward out her grasp.

Yet she had one last thrust in her. She let you slip just away enough, that when she slid right back through your tight warmth, she found the golden spot. Sending you into an intense aftershock and she filled you full and groaned against your shoulder. Her arm hooked around your waist and held you still with her.

Both of you panting and hardly having anything to say. "Let's get you out this dress." She whispered, kissing your sweating temple.

You felt her slip right out of you and lean back. The sound of the harness coming undone caught your ear, yet it never hit the floor. Using your remains strength you pushed up to look for it. But it wasn't anywhere to be found. And when you looked to Lilia, she was walking away from you into the bathroom.

Your mind only thought it over so long before Lilia was returning in a shirt and with a wet towel. She offered you a hand to stand which you took. It was subtle the next moment. Her hands untying the dress and freeing you from it. The pink fell to your feet and you were suddenly butt naked in front of Lilia. Blushing madly as you caught her eyes in the mirror.

She licked her lips. "Oh baby...we might have to do a round two."

~

"That wasn't part of the plan Lilia!" Agatha scolded the older witch. "I need my walking darkhold conscious and aware of reality. Not whimpering and begging mama!"

Lilia sat in the chair feeling ashamed. It wasn't meant to happen. They were supposed to come and pull you from the many witches and warlocks who've added to the Scarlet Witch's curse. Those who knew of your knowledge worked to conceal you into your fairytale life.

But when Agatha Harkness formed a coven to walk The Witches Road successfully, she needed more. She needed you. The walking Darkhold. Secluded and alone between an apartment and clay shop. They were nice enough to give you two locations unlike Agatha.

"Ok, well let's think. She's oblivious to us all having powers. So we're still clear of being detected as anything." Alice pointed out the pro.

"I've been doing pottery with magic for how long and she hasn't noticed." Agatha added. Her blue eyes trained to Lilia as she thought. "Did you use any magic at home?"

Her big brown eyes shifted to look away. "Last night I did..." she murmured but the coven easily knew what she said.

"Oh my god Lilia! You man," Billy nudged her while walking by to get a drink from the kitchen. "So what if you ease her to question it? You have the deepest, no pun intended, connection with her. Drop things of the darkhold to her."

"Are we sure giving Agatha Harkness back the thing is a good idea anyways?" Jen crossed her arms, being against this idea in the beginning.

"She's not a thing." Lilia and Agatha said at the same time. Eyeing each other in suspicion.

"Let's run with Maximoff's idea. What if you mention details I feed you? Ones I know she knows on the fly? I'll write them down and you'll leave them about the place." Agatha played off the boys thought.

"And what if it doesn't work?" Lilia raised the opposing. Apart of her didn't want to break you out. She wanted you all to herself. If you were out you'd be spending all your time with Agatha trying to recreate the Darkhold.

Alice crossed her arms and held herself a little tighter. "We have no choice but to try Lilia. What harm could it bring?"

"Unleashing the last source of spells that have been put into a hook called 'The Darkhold' for a reason." Jen scoffed. As much as she didn't like the idea, she was running with it to free someone 'bound'. She knew that feeling herself.

Agatha hurried around and scribbled down spells onto a variety of sticky notes. In total making seven and handing them to the divination witch. "I need her out the spell Calderu. Don't let whatever feelings you conjured for her little personality ruin this. Or so help me, I will walk in next time and drag her out."

It was an honest promise kore than a threat. Lilia knew that. "Fine. I'll put them around the house tonight before she comes home."

"Good girl," Agatha hummed before leading them out the apartment. After Jen had left, the brunette turned one more time. "Lilia. Get this done so we don't have to be vicious."

So she did. She placed the spells in the places she knows you go straight for when you get home. One in the key bowl by the door, one in the bathroom on the mirror, your pajama drawer, on your nightstand by your charger, the fridge on your fruit punch, in the cup cabinet, and lastly on the black tv screen. It was impossible to miss any of them.

But it didn't prepare her for what you had planned for coming home. You waltzed in basically shinning with joy as you pecked her cheek. She sat in the living room, anxiously waiting your arrival.

"Today was so busy! Busy but good!" You clearly missed the note in the key bowl. There were six other chances. "Pour me juice and I'll be right out," you gave her another peck and we're off into the room.

You first collected something to change into. Feeling a sweats and boxer outfit, you collected the black sweats from the closet and boxers from the top drawer. Grabbing a hoodie as well and throwing it all on to the bed.

Heading into the bathroom next. In need to wash away all the grime and clay that lingered. The note caught your attention first. Your brows furrowed and you mumbled over the words. Something about them felt staticy on your tongue. You even went as far to check yourself in the mirror.

In all, with the new unease you continued through your routine. You were changing clothes when the house just seemed too warm for a hoodie, so you swapped it for a tank. Another note with gibberish was lying on top. Had Lilia placed these about? What are they and why in your drawer?

You kept moving about, finding another next to your charger. You figured you could ask if you brought them to her. Including the one you caught on the tv. "Lilia? What are these notes?" You had four in your hands and none of them made sense.

"Baby...I need you to really concentrate. Do they seem familiar at all?" Her brown eyes were wide with pleads. None of this was making sense to you. "Have you tried saying them out loud?"

"They're in a language I don't even know. What is it even? Latin?" You wildly guessed. You took your spot right next to her and kept trying to read them. "I'm a bit confused. This feels like earlier when Rio stopped by...said something about reality and I just assumed she was making a bad joke."

"Yeah? And what did she say?" Lilia stood, briefly leaving your side to grab the other three. Bringing them back and setting all seven on the coffee table.

You shrugged while staring. "She was on about Agatha needing me in a different reality. Like we knew each other somewhere else. Then she said this one was cute and boring. I need an adventure." You intently focused on the fifth note. "You know Latin right? Said you took a class? Can't you read these?"

"I can, but it's not about me." She shook her head.

"Then what's this about?" You picked up the note and really traced the letters. "This one kinda seems familiar. Like I've seen these letters arranged once before." You kept repeating what you could.

Eventually your broken syllables turned into words. Then you were chanting them. Your body shook with a cold rush that ran all through your veins. You've known this feeling before. Your eyes fell to the other notes, realizing what they were. You knew these spells.

"Oh thank- fucking finally hun!" Agatha's voice barged into the room.

"Oh my- Harkness what the hell happened?" You shot up. Where were you and who were these people around you? Your eyes dropped to your hands, so did Agatha's.

Her chuckle of relief washed the room. "Oh you still have it all. Oh, the Scarlet Witch. She destroyed every copy of the Darkhold. But not you. You got buried deep. Weeks. Months of coven work to get you freed."

You scoffed. "Please, Agatha Harkness and a coven? That's the biggest joke I've heard in my life. Is that who these people all are? Your coven?" Your bite was so familiar for the purple witch, but new to everyone who'd met your false personality.

"I see why you two get along." Jen huffed, taking a seat over on a stool. "So how'd you meet her Darkhold?"

"Unintentionally. She was fucking around with the book, casted a spell and poof! The literal embodiment of all those spells and things you would let take over your morales." Your smile was sickening.

"Yeah, well I need you." Agatha cut the rest of the conversation. Snapping her fingers in your face to get your focus. "I need your knowledge. I need you to rewrite the book."

You sighed, "it's always need, need, need with you Agatha."

"I just freed you from how many curses? This is how you respond?" She was in disbelief.

You nodded, "uhh yeah! I was only in that curse cause of you! Dragged my ass to Westview and played house and now look! Whose house are we even in?!" Your hands were wildly gesturing.

"Yours! Well yours and Lilia's. Ya know? Mama?" Agatha's brow arched and her smile was nothing but teasing. "I know you remember more of those months than you're letting one."

Your eyes dropped to the oldest witch by your side. Well...technically you're the oldest living thing in the room. "You fucked me with a magical dick?" Your brows furrowed. Her cheeks blushed heavily at your forwardness. "I wanna put a pin in that for sure, but in the mean time. Even if we do recreate the Darkhold, it won't be the same. Especially since I have a horrible drawing hand so I could get you the correct formations for certain rituals."

"I don't need rituals! I need power," she groaned. Her hands on your shoulders and pushing you down to the couch. She crouched and held your hands. "You hold over thousands years of dark magic up in the pretty brain of yours hun. I need you to use it for me ok?"

Lilia tensed at the way Agatha was speaking to you. Like she had once been the one to dominate you. "That's because I am well into at least my five thousands."

The three in the kitchen finally took further interest in you. "Hold on," Billy pipped up. Rushing over to hover over you as well. "You're over five thousand years old?"

"I'm the embodiment of that dumb book, yeah. Unfortunately. And you kid, your mother was a pain in my ass. I mean seriously, even under everything, every curse, spell, binding, I could feel her using the book. She never slept, kept me lingering for ever." You pointed before dropping to Agatha again.

"What do you say, hun? Just like old times?" Her blue eyes were silently, and so hidden deeply, begging you.

Lilia was for sure you'd go. That those dark fingertips that used to be clear from all mischief would run off to cause destruction. Leaving her forgotten.

"No."

The room erupted in to confused 'huh's. Except for Jen who was laughing in Agatha's face at the backfiring of her plan.

"What the fuck do you mean no?" Her hands gestured in your lap for any explanation to this.

Your eyes found Lilia. "I want to stay here with her. You're right, I do remember those months. And I remember how real it felt with Lilia. Unfortunately do hope as the Darkhold, I'm still accepted." You were in just her world. "I can give you everything."

To engrossed in those deep swirls, you missed Agatha groaning as she got up. Already just accepting her defeat on having you fully, but she was going to get those spells.

Lilia's hand had come up to your cheek, a thumb stroking over it as her heart swelled. "You really mean it?"

"You'll have to relearn me is the only downside." You placed your dark fingertips on her hand. Finally drawing all the rooms attention to them. The blackness ran far up your arms and under your shirt.

"Wait, wait, wait. Before you go swearing yourself into marriage Bookie I need to know you'll at least give me spells when I need them? I just need something, anything from you." She had that signature annoyed look she always had with you.

"If you ever call me that again I'm not helping you. But for now you have yourself a deal. But don't think you're getting any of the good ones." You hummed, not really paying any mind to her anymore.

"We should go before they start making out..." Alice mumbled, watching you and Lilia get closer and closer slowly. It was comedic how they all scurried out.

The door closing as you, the knowledge of the Darkhold, laughed the wondrous Madame Calderu for the first time clearly.

"I never gave you your gift did it?" The question fell from your lips softly. You were quieter when with just two people. Her curls shook left and right. "Yeah..you did fuck me pretty good. Imma go get it, I know pottery me would've wanted you to actually have it."

You pressed a kiss to the back of her hands and went to get the bag in the corner of your room. Bringing it back with you to the living room. "Here, she even wrapped it according to you."

"You say she like it still wasn't you?" Lilia sensed the disassociation with roommate she fell heavily for.

Your head shook, "I know that she wasn't me. I would've never made anything in bed that easy." Your smile was still the same though. Even if the eyes with it were full of contained wickedness and chaos. "Go on, pretty girl. Open it."

Her cheeks heated under your prominent gaze. You're right, you wouldn't have made sex easy. As she pulled out the white and yellow paper, she couldn't help to think of how the age gap has shifted. You were millenniums before her. She wasn't even close to one thousand. Her hands touched something cool. Grasping around it and pulling it up.

It was a ceramic card holder. The details being all so familiar to the witch. They were the same ones she painted long ago by her own hand. It was almost replicas of each card lining around the sides. But the cover was her most favorite part, the big queen of cups stared up at her. Except the difference was the color in curls. They weren't red and young like how Lilia's was, these were peppered like hers now. Like the face you had met.

"You knew?" Her eyes leaped to yours as her fingers couldn't help to take in every inch of texture.

Your head nodded slowly, "I always had an inkling I was missing something but I wasn't ever going to piece together the truth. And it was the amount of attention the card. I figured one plus one equals two... do you like it?"

"Baby I love it. Thank you." She whispered so gently. This time she leaned in. Her wised smile pressing to your goofy one. It felt natural already and made all the chaos you hold disappear into a void of knowledge.

She was someone you could get used to.

[gyorouis]

── ✦ the boy next door.

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚 ˚⋆ synopsis⸝⸝ the guy next door, he seems cute. and oh, he has a dog.

꒰ genre⸝⸝ fluff!! FLUFF, angst if you squint, but anyway lovey-dovey bcs soobin is so boyfriend and i miss soobin sm pairing⸝⸝ boy next door!soobin x afab!reader wc⸝⸝ 5.3k warning⸝⸝ none (lmk if i forgot any!) tune in⸝⸝ sixspence none the richer — kiss me ୨ৎ ꒱

you’ve been living in this apartment complex for what feels like forever now, or at least long enough to memorize the creaky spots in the hallway and which neighbors prefer late-night TV at full volume. it’s not that you're shy, but you’ve never been great at the whole “friendly neighbor” thing either. while others seem to naturally strike up conversations about the weather or the latest neighborhood gossip, you’re more of a smile-and-nod kind of person. friendly enough, but not exactly handing out invitations for coffee.

every morning, you take your usual jog around the complex. it’s become a routine, something to clear your mind before another long day of work. you pass by mrs. kim from the third floor, who always seems to be engaged in an animated conversation with mr. park from the second floor. they wave at you, and you offer a polite nod in return, as always. everyone here seems to know each other, chatting away as if they’ve lived in this building their entire lives.

you? not so much. you’ve always found socializing a bit… draining. especially since your job involves talking to people all day long. by the time you get home, the last thing you want is to have yet another conversation.

it’s a sunday morning, and instead of your usual jog, you’re busy cleaning your apartment. your balcony door is open, letting in the fresh air as you sweep the floor. as you pause to stretch, you notice a moving truck pulling up outside. new tenants, you think to yourself. the unit next to yours has been empty for about a month, ever since the previous owner moved out. you glance down at the truck, spotting a few movers carrying boxes and furniture into the building.

“well, good luck,” you mumble to yourself, knowing how thin the walls can be.

you continue with your cleaning, pushing the thought of the new tenant aside. after all, it’s not like you’re going to be inviting them over for tea anytime soon.

in the days following, you caught glimpses of the new tenant, though never quite enough to get a clear picture of them. once, while heading out for your morning jog, you heard the door to the next unit creak open just as you were locking your own. instinctively, you turned your head, but by the time you glanced down the hallway, the door had already closed. you could hear faint footsteps receding, but whoever they were, they were gone before you even had the chance to see them.

it became a pattern—just when you thought you might catch a glimpse of this mystery neighbor, something would intervene. you’d hear a door slam shut just as you were about to turn the corner. you’d see shadows under the door when you were in the hallway, but no one ever stepped out. it was like the universe was conspiring to keep you from meeting them.

you told yourself it didn’t matter. after all, you weren’t the type to strike up a conversation with strangers anyway. still, you couldn’t help the growing curiosity. who was this person? what kind of neighbor were they? and, more importantly, why did it feel like they were always just out of reach?

one particularly frustrating moment happened when you were in the mailroom, sorting through the usual stack of bills and junk mail. out of the corner of your eye, you saw someone approach the door, a tall figure with dark hair. for a split second, you thought this might finally be the moment you’d meet your elusive neighbor. but just as the door began to swing open, your phone rang loudly in your pocket, startling you enough that you dropped your mail all over the floor.

by the time you scrambled to pick it up, the person was gone. the door clicked shut, leaving you alone in the mailroom once again.

“seriously?” you muttered under your breath, shoving the crumpled letters back into your bag. it was becoming a running joke in your head now—the universe seemed determined to keep the two of you apart.

later that week, you were returning from work, exhausted after a particularly draining day of meetings and presentations. your only goal was to collapse onto your couch and binge-watch something mindless. as you stepped off the elevator, you saw a large package leaning against the door to the unit next to yours. it was addressed to a “choi soobin,” which you assumed was your new neighbor. your curiosity spiked again. soobin—the name didn’t ring any bells, but it didn’t matter. you’d probably never get the chance to talk to them anyway.

as you fumbled with your keys at your own door, you heard something—a faint shuffling from inside the next unit. you paused, glancing sideways at the door. was this finally your moment? you listened closely, heart pounding a little for reasons you couldn’t explain. but, like every other time before, nothing happened. no door opened, no introductions were made.

you sighed and went inside, trying to shake off the strange sense of disappointment.

then, that evening, something broke the quiet routine.

you were sprawled on the couch, remote in hand, flipping through channels without much interest when a sound made you sit up. it was faint at first—a soft barking, coming from the apartment next door. your eyes darted toward the wall, as if you could somehow see through it. a dog? you hadn’t heard a single sound from that unit since the mysterious soobin had moved in. now, all of a sudden, there was a dog?

“must be the new neighbor,” you muttered to yourself, sinking back into the cushions.

the barking stopped, and you assumed that was the end of it. but then, barely a minute later, there was a knock at your door. you blinked, glancing at the clock. it was late—who could be knocking at this hour?

you dragged yourself off the couch, padding over to the door and pulling it open. standing there, looking slightly frazzled, was a guy. he had dark hair, a hoodie pulled over his head, and in one hand, he held a leash attached to an overly excited golden retriever that was wagging its tail so fast it was practically vibrating.

“uh, hi,” he said, offering a sheepish smile. “sorry to bother you, but i’m your new neighbor. i think my dog’s ball ended up on your balcony. mind if i grab it?”

you blinked, momentarily thrown off by the sight of him. soobin, you realized, putting the pieces together. this was the elusive neighbor who had been slipping in and out of your life for the past week. and now, here he was, standing at your door with an overexcited dog.

“oh,” you said, snapping out of your daze. “yeah, sure. give me a second.”

you stepped out onto your balcony and quickly spotted the bright yellow ball wedged against the railing. as you bent down to pick it up, you heard soobin talking to his dog in a low voice.

“buddy, sit. come on, man, be cool for like five seconds.”

you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh as you walked back inside, holding the ball out to him. “here you go.”

soobin beamed, taking the ball from you. “thanks. i’m soobin, by the way. and this troublemaker is buddy.”

buddy barked in response, his tail wagging even faster—if that was possible.

“i’m y/n,” you replied, offering a small smile. “welcome to the building.”

soobin shifted awkwardly, as if unsure whether to continue the conversation or let you return to your evening. “uh, thanks. sorry again for the interruption. we’re still getting used to the place, and buddy here is still adjusting.”

“no problem,” you said, your voice soft. despite the late hour and the unexpected visit, you found yourself oddly relaxed in his presence. there was something about his easy-going nature, the way he seemed just as out of place as you often felt.

“well, i should let you get back to your night,” he said, giving buddy’s leash a gentle tug. “thanks again for the ball.”

“anytime,” you replied, watching as he headed back down the hallway, buddy bouncing along beside him.

as you closed the door, a small smile crept onto your face. you hadn’t understood the strange anticipation you’d felt before meeting your new neighbor, but after this little incident, you were starting to get an idea why.

as you leaned back against the door, you found yourself replaying the brief interaction in your head. soobin seemed... different. maybe it was the casual way he introduced himself or the way he was clearly flustered by his dog’s antics, but something about him had left an impression on you. you tried to brush it off—after all, it was just a simple neighborly encounter. nothing more.

you sank back onto the couch, but the quiet of your apartment felt louder now, like the presence of the new neighbor had shifted something in the air. you absentmindedly reached for the remote but hesitated before pressing play. instead, your mind wandered back to soobin’s awkward grin, the way buddy’s tail wagged enthusiastically, and the light laughter that almost escaped your lips as soobin tried to calm the excitable dog.

“why am i thinking about this?” you muttered, shaking your head with a smirk.

over the next few days, it seemed like fate kept you and soobin on the verge of crossing paths, only for something to always get in the way. every time you left for your morning jog, you'd hear his apartment door creak open as if he was leaving too. but by the time you reached the bottom of the stairs, there’d be no sign of him or buddy. you’d glance back, wondering if maybe you'd imagined hearing it. or when you returned home in the evening, you'd see buddy’s leash hanging on the door handle, a clear sign they were out for a walk, yet you'd just missed them.

it was like the universe was toying with the idea of introducing you both properly, but not quite ready to make it happen. part of you found it amusing—the almost-encounters, the little signs of his presence—but another part of you grew more curious with each near-miss.

one evening, as you sat on your balcony with a cup of tea, a cool breeze ruffling the pages of the book you weren’t really reading, you heard it again—the faint sound of a dog barking next door. instinctively, you leaned over the railing, trying to catch a glimpse of what was happening. and there he was, standing on his own balcony with buddy at his feet, looking up at the sky like he was deep in thought.

for a moment, you considered saying something, maybe making a casual comment about the weather or how quiet the building usually was. but just as you opened your mouth, buddy let out an excited bark, causing soobin to laugh and look down at his dog.

“not now, buddy, i'm trying to enjoy the sunset,” he chuckled, giving the golden retriever a playful pat on the head.

you quickly leaned back before he could notice you watching, heart racing a little too fast for your liking. why did it feel like you were in high school again, trying to avoid being caught staring at the cute guy in class?

the next day, you were in the hallway, heading out for work, when you heard hurried footsteps behind you. you turned just in time to see soobin, earbuds in, walking briskly with buddy trotting beside him. for a second, you both locked eyes, and soobin gave you a quick wave, almost stumbling over buddy’s leash in the process.

“oh—uh, hey!” he called out, a little breathless as he caught up to you. “sorry, i didn’t see you there.”

you smiled, adjusting your bag on your shoulder. “no worries. looks like you two are in a hurry.”

he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “yeah, we’re running late for our morning walk. buddy takes it very seriously.” buddy barked as if agreeing, his tail wagging eagerly.

“i’ve noticed,” you replied with a small laugh. “he seems like quite the handful.”

“you have no idea,” soobin said, shaking his head with a grin. “it’s like living with a toddler.”

there was a brief pause, just long enough for the moment to stretch into something a little more comfortable, a little more familiar. you weren’t sure what it was, but the awkwardness from your first meeting had melted away, replaced by something easier, like you’d known each other longer than a few days.

“well, i’ll let you get to work before i make us both late,” soobin said, glancing at his watch before giving you a quick nod. “but, uh, maybe we’ll bump into each other more often.”

“maybe,” you replied, trying to ignore the way your heart fluttered at his words. “have a good walk.”

as you walked away, you couldn’t help but smile, the warmth of his casual words lingering in your mind. sure, it had been brief, but something told you that this wasn’t the last time you’d be talking to soobin.

the next few weeks passed with more casual interactions, little moments that didn’t feel like much on the surface but somehow started to carve a space for soobin in your routine. the mysterious air surrounding him had slowly faded away, revealing a guy who was surprisingly easy to talk to—at least, when your paths finally crossed.

like that time in the elevator, when you both happened to be leaving the building at the same time. you’d awkwardly shuffled inside, glancing at the buttons only to realize you were both heading to the ground floor. soobin had offered a lopsided smile as buddy sat obediently at his side, his tail thumping against the floor of the small space.

“morning,” he greeted, rubbing his eyes sleepily, the hoodie he wore wrinkled like he’d just rolled out of bed.

“morning,” you replied, chuckling lightly at his tired expression. “late night?”

“buddy doesn’t understand the concept of sleep,” he said, laughing softly. “he decided at 2 a.m. that the middle of the night was the perfect time to chase his tail.”

you smiled, leaning against the cool wall of the elevator. “sounds exhausting.”

“you have no idea,” he groaned, glancing down at buddy. “but i wouldn’t trade him for anything. what about you? late night or early start?”

“early start,” you replied. “work keeps me on a pretty tight schedule.”

“right, you mentioned that you’re always busy,” soobin said thoughtfully, as if he was genuinely interested. “what do you do again?”

you hesitated for a second, not because you didn’t want to tell him, but because explaining your job always felt like you were opening a door to questions you weren’t sure you had the energy to answer. “i work in marketing. lots of meetings, lots of socializing.”

“sounds... exhausting,” he echoed your earlier comment, giving you a knowing grin. “no wonder you don’t join the neighborhood chat.”

you let out a soft laugh. “yeah, i’m not great at small talk.”

“same,” he said with a shrug. “i mean, i like people, but there’s something about forced conversation that makes my brain just... shut down.”

the elevator doors slid open, and you both stepped out, walking side by side toward the entrance. buddy trotted ahead, sniffing everything in his path.

“i get that,” you said. “there’s always this pressure to say the right thing, to fill every silence.”

“exactly!” soobin said, his eyes lighting up. “but sometimes, silence is comfortable, you know? like right now, we’re not talking every second, but it doesn’t feel awkward.”

you blinked at his words, realizing he was right. the quiet that settled between you wasn’t heavy or uncomfortable—it was easy, like you didn’t have to force anything. it felt... natural.

“yeah,” you agreed, glancing over at him. “it’s nice.”

he smiled, and for a moment, there was a flicker of something in the air, something you couldn’t quite place but also couldn’t ignore. but before you could dwell on it, buddy barked, pulling soobin’s attention back to his overexcited dog.

“looks like someone’s ready for his walk,” soobin said with a chuckle. “i’ll see you around?”

“definitely,” you said, waving as you headed in opposite directions.

and so it continued—a series of brief moments. sometimes it was in the hallway, when you both reached for your mailboxes at the same time. other times, it was in the parking lot, when buddy would tug soobin’s arm just as you were pulling out of your spot, prompting an exaggerated apology from soobin and a wave from you, which had gradually turned into shared grins over time.

but despite the ease of these small interactions, there was still a slow, steady burn building between the two of you. neither of you rushed it—there was no sudden moment of revelation, no dramatic confession. instead, it was the little things that started to draw you closer.

like the day you came home late from work, exhausted and hungry, only to find that your fridge was depressingly empty. you were about to resign yourself to a bowl of instant ramen when a knock came at your door. when you opened it, there was soobin, holding a takeout bag in one hand and a sheepish grin on his face.

“i ordered way too much food,” he said, looking down at the containers like they’d betrayed him. “and buddy is refusing to eat anything that doesn’t come from his dog bowl, so... thought i’d see if you wanted some?”

you blinked, staring at the food and then back at him. “you’re offering me leftovers?”

he scratched the back of his neck, looking a little embarrassed. “well, when you put it like that...”

you laughed, stepping aside to let him in. “i’m kidding. i was actually about to have instant ramen, so this is a serious upgrade.”

“wow, really? i guess my timing is perfect,” he said, setting the food on your kitchen counter. buddy bounded in after him, sniffing around curiously before settling by soobin’s feet.

the two of you sat down to eat, and conversation flowed naturally. soobin told you about his work—he was a freelance artist, which explained his flexible hours and the occasional paint smudges on his hands. you talked about your own job, surprised at how easy it was to open up to him. the hours slipped by, the conversation shifting from work to hobbies to random stories about your lives.

“you know,” soobin said at one point, pushing his empty plate aside, “i’m glad we finally hung out like this. i always see you around, but i didn’t want to be that weird neighbor who tries too hard.”

you laughed, shaking your head. “i think you’re safe. besides, if anyone’s weird, it’s me. i’ve been here for ages and haven’t made a single friend.”

he raised an eyebrow. “well, you’ve got one now.”

you looked at him, and there was something in the warmth of his gaze that made your heart skip a beat. “yeah,” you said softly. “i guess i do.”

over time, the encounters became more intentional. you’d text each other when you were free, ever since he asked for your number during one night that was actually a terrible way of asking someone for their digits. he’d tripped over his own feet while trying to make a quick exit from your apartment, and as he stumbled, he blurted out, “hey, can I get your number? for dog emergencies!”

you couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. “dog emergencies?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow.

“you know, buddy might need a playdate or... or a treat,” he fumbled, his cheeks turning slightly pink. “or if i accidentally steal your trash...”

“okay, that sounds like a solid reason,” you replied, trying to suppress your grin as you wrote down your number on a sticky note and handed it to him. “but it’s not like he’s going to call me.”

“you never know!” soobin joked, glancing at the note before slipping it into his pocket with a satisfied grin.

the days that followed were filled with little surprises. you’d receive random texts from him, often accompanied by pictures of buddy in various ridiculous poses—like the time he’d managed to get his head stuck in a cereal box, or when he was sprawled out on the floor, tongue out, looking utterly defeated after a long walk. each message came with a lighthearted caption that made you chuckle.

“buddy found the ultimate hiding spot. no one will ever find him!” one message read, the accompanying picture showing the golden retriever wedged between the couch and the wall, his big brown eyes peeking out like he was plotting a secret escape.

you found yourself looking forward to these texts, each one brightening your day a little more than the last. sometimes you’d respond with your own pictures—like a candid shot of you attempting to bake cookies (which ended with a flour explosion in your kitchen) or a video of your cat giving you the cold shoulder after you accidentally stepped on his tail.

then there were the instagram reels. soobin would send you random clips that were almost always about dog humor—like the one of a dog desperately trying to catch its tail but only succeeding in tripping over itself. “this is buddy every morning,” he captioned, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you imagined his dog bouncing around in a similar fashion.

“what’s with all the dog content?” you texted back one afternoon, grinning at your phone screen.

“dogs are life,” he replied instantly. “and buddy is basically my child. wouldn’t you want to see every moment of his existence?”

“fair point,” you typed back, shaking your head at how seriously he took his role as a dog dad. “just don’t expect me to babysit anytime soon.”

“how about we do a double date?” he proposed jokingly. “you, me, and buddy? i’ll provide the treats, you bring the toys.”

“sounds like a plan,” you responded, a small thrill coursing through you at the thought. “but if buddy eats my favorite toy, we’re going to have a problem.”

the banter continued, each conversation layered with a comfortable rhythm that felt natural. there was something about the way he interacted with you that made it easy to let your guard down. and in those moments, you found yourself looking forward to the next time you’d see him—no longer just as the mysterious neighbor but as someone who was becoming an integral part of your life.

the following weekend, you both decided to meet for coffee at a local café. it was your first official hangout outside the confines of your apartment, and excitement bubbled in your chest as you walked into the shop. the aroma of freshly brewed coffee enveloped you, and you scanned the room for soobin.

he was already there, perched at a small table in the corner, a steaming cup in front of him and buddy lying at his feet, looking adorably patient. as soon as he saw you, he waved enthusiastically, his smile brightening the cozy atmosphere.

“hey! over here!” he called, standing up as you approached. “i hope you like this place. buddy does, which is basically my criteria for any establishment.”

you chuckled as you took a seat across from him. “so, what does buddy think? is this place up to snuff?”

“he’s giving it a solid four paws,” he replied, glancing down at buddy, who was wagging his tail, clearly enjoying the vibe of the café. “though he’s more interested in the snacks they give out than the coffee.”

“priorities,” you said, laughing as you imagined buddy’s enthusiasm. “i can relate.”

the conversation flowed effortlessly as you sipped your drinks, discussing everything from your favorite books to the best dog parks in the city. soobin shared stories about buddy’s antics, and you found yourself hanging onto every word, amused by the way he animatedly described each little adventure.

“one time, he decided he wanted to chase a squirrel,” soobin said, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “and in his eagerness, he leaped right into a fountain! it was like something out of a cartoon—he came out soaked and just sat there, looking utterly betrayed.”

you burst into laughter, picturing the scene. “did he recover? i can’t imagine he’d take that lightly.”

“he was fine, but he gave me the dirtiest look afterward,” soobin said, mimicking buddy’s disgruntled expression, which only made you laugh harder.

as you both shared stories and laughter, the connection between you deepened. it was a slow burn, building gradually, like the gentle warmth of a fire that had just begun to flicker to life. you found yourself stealing glances at soobin, his smile infectious, his passion for his dog evident in every word. and when your eyes met, there was a spark—something unspoken yet palpable that lingered in the air.

by the time you finished your coffees, you felt a sense of ease, as if you’d known him for much longer than just a few weeks. the way he looked at you, his eyes twinkling with warmth and sincerity, made your heart flutter in a way you hadn’t expected.

“we should do this more often,” soobin said, packing up his things as buddy nuzzled his leg, eager to get moving.

“definitely,” you agreed, feeling a grin spread across your face. “i’ll bring the treats next time.”

“and i’ll bring the chaos,” he promised, a playful glint in his eyes.

you both stood to leave, and as you walked side by side, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just the beginning.

one morning, with the scent of freshly baked cookies wafting through your apartment, you felt a rush of excitement. you’d decided to surprise soobin with a batch of chocolate chip cookies and some homemade dog treats for buddy. you could picture the delighted look on his face, the way his eyes would light up when he tasted your baking.

clutching the container tightly, you made your way to his door, heart racing at the thought of sharing something so personal. but as you lifted your hand to knock, the door swung open unexpectedly.

standing there was a woman you didn’t recognize. she had a bright smile and an air of casual confidence as she walked right past you without so much as a word. confusion flitted through your mind as you watched her, but then your gaze shifted to soobin, who stood in the doorway looking equally surprised to see you.

“oh, hey! i didn’t expect you this morning,” he said, his tone cheerful but slightly bewildered.

you felt heat rush to your cheeks, embarrassment flooding over you as you awkwardly held out the container. “i, uh, brought you some cookies and treats for buddy,” you stammered, trying to keep your voice steady.

before he could respond, the woman walked back through the doorway, completely ignoring the interaction. your heart sank as realization hit you. the closeness of their familiarity sent a pang of insecurity through you. were they together? the thought made you feel nauseous.

“oh, um, i should go,” you muttered, the words escaping your lips before you could process them. you turned on your heel and hurried back to your unit, locking the door behind you as if that would shield you from the embarrassment.

for days afterward, you tried to avoid soobin. you found yourself deliberately taking a longer route to the elevator to avoid running into him in the hall. it was ridiculous, really; how could you be catching feelings for a guy who might already have a girlfriend? you felt grossed out by yourself, convinced that your infatuation was misguided.

despite your efforts to create distance, the texts kept coming. soobin sent you updates about buddy, silly memes, and cute dog reels that made you smile despite yourself. but with every message, your heart ached, and you felt more confused.

one afternoon, as you sat on your couch, scrolling aimlessly through your phone, you felt a mix of confusion and longing. soobin’s texts had become a lifeline, his silly memes and dog videos bringing unexpected joy amid your self-imposed isolation. but every time your phone buzzed with a message from him, a pang of guilt twisted in your stomach, reminding you of the distance you were trying to maintain.

when you heard a knock at your door, your heart raced. you knew it was soobin, and the thought of facing him made you want to disappear. after a moment of hesitation, you reluctantly opened the door, finding him standing there, his brow furrowed in concern.

“hey, can we talk?” he asked, his voice soft yet urgent. “i’ve noticed you’ve been... avoiding me. did i do something wrong?”

the sincerity in his eyes sent your heart racing, but the weight of your feelings and the embarrassment of the situation crashed over you. you hesitated, caught between wanting to explain and the fear of being vulnerable. before you could stop yourself, your tongue slipped. “i can't keep talking to you; you have a girlfriend, that's just weird,” you blurted out, the words tumbling out with a mix of frustration and mortification.

soobin’s expression shifted from confusion to surprise, his brows furrowing deeper. “what? no, i don’t have a girlfriend,” he replied, his voice steady but laced with disbelief.

“but—” you stammered, flustered. “i saw a girl come out of your apartment the other day. she seemed... close to you.”

“that was my sister!” he exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. “she just moved in for the summer. we were just hanging out.”

the realization hit you like a wave, crashing against the dam of your confusion. “oh,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “i... didn’t know.”

you both stood there for a moment, the air thick with unspoken feelings and awkwardness, before it cracked, and you burst into laughter at the absurdity of the situation. it felt like a weight had lifted off your shoulders.

“so what now?” you asked, recovering from the laugh, your heart racing as you met his gaze.

he smiled, the warmth in his eyes making your stomach flutter. without breaking eye contact, he reached out and gently grabbed your pinky with his big hand. you raised your eyebrows, intrigued. “are we on the same page?” he asked, his voice low and inviting.

you felt your cheeks heat up as you whispered, “i think so...”

his smile grew bigger, a mix of relief and excitement, and he fully enveloped your small hand with his larger one, sending butterflies racing through your chest.

“where are you taking me?” you asked, following him as he started to pull you out of your unit, excitement bubbling within you.

“i’m going to introduce you to my sister,” he said, a teasing look dancing in his eyes.

“soobin!” you exclaimed, playfully hitting his arm, laughter spilling out. the warmth of your connection felt electric, each shared laugh building a bridge between you that you never knew was missing in your life.

gyo's note: OMG YES boy next door soobin alsjdhsdhsh, i’m changing the posting schedule to every friday (bcs i have a vv shitty schedule for mg rle and lecture and HOPEFULLY i could finish alumni homecoming kai asap (yes pray for my writer's blocked braincells) if you made it to this part, thank you so much! you will be loved. xoxo!

✮ 2024 gyozies, all rights reserved.

[tarotofhope]

PAC : Your Year 2025- Advice and Predictions.

(Please Read My Pinned post *IMPORTANT NOTE* before selecting a Pile.

❤️ All dividers on this blog are provided by @uzmacchiato ❤️

Please Note: It's just a general reading so please take the finances part of the reading with a grain of salt just like other parts of this reading. Take your decisions wisely, I, @tarotofhope and @tarotforpeace will not be responsible if you make decisions based on my readings. I have not included health(though I wanted to first) in here because I'm afraid if I mention any serious things like surgery and illness, you guys might take that seriously and also because it's a general reading, I don't want that to happen. Deck Used- Osho Zen Tarot

Pick an Image by meditating and selecting the image you feel called to. You can be attracted towards more than 1 image. If you are not able to select maybe this reading isn't for you.

⪩⪨ Pile - 1 ⪩⪨

LOVE -

Cards: The Miser(4 of Pentacles)

You'd like to keep a good distance from love this year. Either you recently came out of a relationship(most probably last year), or you've always remained single(by choice or not). There is a sense of fear with the 4 of Pentacles here, that the person may turn out toxic, and if this happens, you might lose your precious peace of mind and soul, somehow they might become an hindrance, so you try to stay away from love as much as possible. For people who are single by choice, especially, you guys really enjoy being single. For people who are already in a relationship, you guys are staying private and reserved as much as possible.

CAREER -

Cards: Past Lives(The Moon)

You guys are being advised to not let your past hold you back, if there were any negative experiences in your last job, it's not going to repeat itself. You're also being told to make good use of your talents(with past lives, It makes me think of Ketu which is the South Node, which talks about talents and gifts you inherited from your past lives). You don't need to hide yourself anymore. Get out there and show what you're capable of.

FAMILY -

Cards: Morality(Queen of Swords) clarified by Suppression(10 of Wands).

Your family might have burdened you with a lot of responsibility and stress, like somehow your family is the reason for your low self-esteem, lack of confidence, bad mental health, any or all of these. Somebody's pushing you to go over your limits. Someone has too high expectations from you. But this year, you'll find the courage to stay back and fight for yourself. If you don't like to do something, you'll say so. Just because someone is family, you'll not allow them to take advantage of you anymore.

FRIENDSHIP -

Cards: Trust(Knight of Cups)

You'll be placing your focus on trust this year, in friendships. Unless you find someone you can really trust, you're not going to make new friends, which also means that you're also going to analyse your current and old friends' behavioural patterns. You might want to leave some old mean/toxic friends behind because of this. Though I cannot say whether your friends are actually toxic or not, it might just be your perception of them as per your circumstances. Trust has become your main criteria for accepting people and their friendships. You're available but not open, not to everyone.

FINANCES -

Cards: Friendliness(2 of Cups)

Those of you who are into partnerships or teamwork, this year is going to be good for money. You're being advised to make more connections at workplace and in general too, it will be good for your work. Surround yourself with like-minded people but also be careful of two-faced people and backbiters.

FOCUS -

Cards: Playfulness(Page of Wands)

You're being advised to loosen up a bit and do things that make you happy. Don't let life take you by the neck and drag you into a pit of darkness. You need to enjoy a bit and don't let your surroundings have a negative effect on your mind. Focus your mind on happiness and getting out of things that drain your mind.

That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 1.

Love, light, peace and hope to you .🌼🌺🌸🪻

⪩⪨ Pile - 2 ⪩⪨

LOVE -

Cards: Turning In(4 of Cups).

You guys might also be attracted to Pile 1, so if you want, you can check that pile too. You guys have the similar urge like Pile 1, to remain single or atleast not get involved in love this year. With the 4 of Cups, I'm seeing that this decision of yours is by choice, half of this group have had negative experiences in love earlier while the other half of you are enjoying being single currently. You're trying to find out about yourself more and your rich inner self. You're more involved in self-care activities currently.

CAREER -

Cards: Integration(Temperance)

You guys are being advised to have balance in your work life. Either you're taking free time too much or working too much. With integration here, you're also advised to be more co-operative and involve yourselves in teamwork, this year.

FAMILY -

Cards: Totality(5 of Wands)

You might be in an argument with some of your family members or maybe even, not in good terms with someone in your family. There may be disagreements and conflicts so you're being advised to take your decisions wisely, not in rush or rage.

FRIENDSHIP -

Cards: Ripeness(9 of Pentacles)

Your friendships will be good this year, it's almost like you've worked so hard in the past years on being a good friend, being trustworthy and loyal in friendships, so you'll be on good terms with your friends. You can rely on your friends and they can rely on you.

FINANCES -

Cards: Transformation(Death)

Your finances might take a turn this year, either you'll start earning money from a totally different source if you're already working(so it can mean change of jobs, change of location). For some of you, it can be that you've resigned or retired, so there is a change in the flow of money. This might look like a necessary change which cannot be avoided, I'm saying this because of the intensity of this card.

FOCUS -

Cards: Change(Wheel of Fortune)

You're being advised to focus your mind on whatever change this is, don't restrain yourself from it, don't try to push it back, it might look like a divine intervention, but if you're meant to do it anyway, you'll also be helped by your guides to get through it.

That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 2.

Love, light, peace and hope to you .🌼🌺🌸🪻

⪩⪨ Pile - 3 ⪩⪨

LOVE -

Cards: Slowing Down(Knight of Pentacles) clarified by Clinging to the past(5 of Cups).

You're going slow in love, you're calculating, analysing, measuring every aspect of what a love relationship can offer, what you like and dislike, not wanting to repeat past mistakes again. Some of you are in a dating phase and meeting new people, while others of you are stuck with thoughts of your ex or toxic relationships. So some of you are not giving chances to new people. You're being advised to look forward in life, move on and think of the good things you possess.

CAREER -

Cards: Sorrow(9 of Swords) and Politics(7 of Swords)

You look tired of your job, you might not be happy with your workplace, colleagues or seniors. There might be discrimination, low compensation, overtime work with no proper pay. The overall energy of your work environment is draining you, it seems. You're being advised to leave if you can, and if not, you can lessen your stress by extra-curricular activities.

FAMILY -

Cards: Innocence(The Sun)

The Sun card here, gives a positive energy. Your relationship with your family is going to be very good, you might even go out on family trips this year. There is an environment of enjoyment and playfulness. People are supportive and understanding. They are going to be like a stress-reliever.

FRIENDSHIP -

Cards: Suppression(10 of Wands)

You're either feeling like you're the one who's taking all the efforts in your friendships or you're being burdened with too many expectations from your friend/s. You're being advised to communicate and solve the problem and if they're doing this even after communicating about it n number of times, you need to take your leave.

FINANCES -

Cards: Projections(7 of Cups) clarified by Intensity(Knight of Wands).

You're being advised not to take rash decisions when it comes to spending money. You're also being too indecisive about different things on which you want to spend your money, so you're putting your money impulsively into too many things, things you might further realise you do not need. So spend wisely.

FOCUS -

Cards: Trust(Knight of Cups)

You're being advised to focus on building trust within friendships and relationships. Also, If you're being offered a romantic proposal, do think about it. You need to focus on your relationships this year, on how to make them better. You're advised to be more open and accepting in terms of love.

That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 3.

Love, light, peace and hope to you .🌼🌺🌸🪻

⪩⪨ Pile - 4 ⪩⪨

LOVE -

Cards: Postponement(4 of Swords).

Actually, it's funny how so many of the piles here got 4s for love(except the 4 of Wands), I think everybody just wants peace in life or be accepted just as they are, no drama of adjusting with new people. Coming to your reading, you want to be out of the picture of love this year, you don't want unnecessary new drama in your life. People are too full of expectations and that's exhausting. Maybe currently you're trying to make things easier in your own life. You're tired of people, I think, so you want to be left on your own. Maybe you're also waiting for the right person to come in, so you're just focusing on yourself this year. Those who are already in a relationship or married are taking a back seat, not being on social media too much, minding your own businesses separately.

CAREER -

Cards: Aloneness(Hermit) clarified by Playfulness(Page of Wands).

You might either be into a monopoly business/work or you work alone/self employed. I can see that you're also happy with whatever it is that you do, you enjoy your work. You're happy to manage everything on your own.

FAMILY -

Cards: The Burden(6 of Swords) clarified by Trust(Knight of Cups).

Your family thinks you're like a burden to them or they're like a burden to you or both(it can be due to physical health, mental health, control issues, strict-behaviour etc..). Your family and/or you guys might feel like cutting ties with each other but you guys might still be staying together or are in a toxic connection with each other. There's a lack of trust, acceptance and love here. I know this part of the reading is sad, but if you're going through it, I wish you all the luck. These issues are not the ones to suddenly generate, if they're present, that means they were already there since a long time.

FRIENDSHIP -

Cards: Transformation(Death).

You might have recently ended a friendship and in the process of finding new friends. You don't need to extend relationships unnecessarily which are not going to stay. If you're almost on the verge of ending a friendship(which has turned bitter), then please do it without doubting yourselves any further. It would be good for all the people involved in this connection.

FINANCES -

Cards: Courage(Strength)

You might have earned money with a lot of efforts and courage, so you're proud of it and you're using it decisively. I'm not saying that other people do not put efforts, It's just that people of this pile might have faced extreme difficulties in regards to their career and have worked tooth and nail for getting a certain job, their job might have asked a lot of them and they gave it. Like just for example: A woman who is not allowed to work but wants to make her own career, starts working after too many fights and arguments with family, maybe even leaving them.

FOCUS -

Cards: Politics(7 of Swords) clarified by The Master.

People of this pile are very intuitive and aware, so you will know when somebody is attacking you or stealing from you or taking advantage of you, you just need to stay that way.

That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 4.

Love, light, peace and hope to you .🌼🌺🌸🪻

⪩⪨ Pile - 5 ⪩⪨

LOVE -

Cards: Ordinariness(8 of Pentacles) clarified by Sorrow(9 of Swords).

You're just a simple person who needs very simple things in life. So, same goes with your love life too, you just want things to work out and you're not afraid to put the required efforts in your relationships. You've been tired of people wanting too much from you, in love. Maybe you're also simple with your looks, makeup and fashion but people always want you to wear a certain way, look a certain way, so you've gotten uncomfortable and tired of this. You might be working on yourself currently but not to entertain people, just for yourself or you're just focused on your career this year.

CAREER -

Cards: Understanding(Page of Cups) and Creativity(The Empress).

Just as I've mentioned above, you might be focused on yourself or your career. Your career might be of creative nature and you feel like you've found your people and place. Doing what you like best, putting your all in it. People really admire your work and passion. You really feel understood and appreciated for your work and you're happy with it. You might even come up with more creative ideas for your work.

FAMILY -

Cards: The Master.

The Master card suggests that you're very aware of yourself. You know how to be the master of your own life, how to tackle things on your own. Maybe you've always felt lonely, misunderstood and unappreciated by your family. You might have realised that you're enough on your own. This year, you might think that you don't need anybody. It might be that you understand and support your family but they take you for granted. You're also not afraid to call other people 'family', people who feel more familiar and are more understanding than your own family.

FRIENDSHIP -

Cards: Mind(Page of Swords).

You'll be very defensive when it comes to friends too. You don't want people who make you go crazy in the head, who make relationships complicated. You think you'll be better off alone. You'll only make new friends when you find someone really reliable and trustworthy. You feel like you've had enough of people calling themselves 'friends'(iykyk).

FINANCES -

Cards: Flowering(Queen of Pentacles).

Your finances will be good this year. You'll have money for all of your requirements and with your mind completely focused on career and money, you'll be able to handle your finances properly too.

FOCUS -

Cards: Clinging to the Past(5 of Cups)

You're being advised to count your blessings and leave the spilled milk behind. There's no use of crying over previous relationships or friendships. They came as a lesson, learn from them and move on. Everything will not stay forever. Some of you also feel guilty for something, try to make peace with it by doing the right thing always and helping people and animals. For a few of you, if you're grieving the passing away of a loved one who's passed away long time ago, you're advised to make peace with it and stop hurting yourself. Live life righteously for them.

That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 5.

Love, light, peace and hope to you .🌼🌺🌸🪻

Thank you so much for being here. I post PAC readings once every week. Do love and support by reblogging, liking or following.

——————————— ♡ ♡ ♡ ———————————

[erikahammerschmidt]

This is a very hard thing for many people to grasp, because... it challenges so many of the things that, for them, make life worth living.

the idea that there's an inherent justice to the world, and those who consistently do right will eventually see some good results from it, something that makes it all worthwhile.

the idea that you are safe.

the idea that you deserve whatever good things you have. (and that you don't have any reason to give up your own happiness to feel bad for others who lack those things, or give up your own good fortune to share with them)

and that lacking good things happens for comprehensible reasons-- so if you do the right things, you don't have to fear ever being one of those who lack. (And that you actually have any real way of knowing what "the right things" even are.)

the idea that we, individually, have any power over what happens to us.

the idea that free will is actually meaningful, and that the few meager things about our lives that we can (somewhat) control are actually capable of making a difference against the vast enormity of what we can't control.

...

...the fact that none of these comforting thoughts are true, feels awfully bleak and hopeless.

To the point that, if your own life hasn't yet forced you to give up those beliefs, you might find yourself unable to let go of them, because the alternative is too terrifying

As someone with mental and (increasingly) physical disabilities, my own mental health fights a battle against this hopelessness every. single. day

...

and, like.

I believe there IS actually some hope for something better...

if enough people can come to the agreement that a lot of people's good fortune (including good health) IS really just luck... and that the bad things in their lives (often even including bad behaviors!) can get at least somewhat better with help from others...

if enough of us could someday let go of the concept of deserving and not-deserving... this focus on blame and punitive justice, and this obsession on bad circumstances being deserved punishments

and if enough of the more fortunate people could contribute from their own lucky circumstances to help others... with no thought of who deserves what, and no other goal except making a world that will, in general, overall, be better for pretty much everyone

then...

Well, I'm not saying this will make everyone's life live up to the current unrealistic ideal of perfect health.

(It won't! there will still be people with severe problems, both mental and physical! And if people's current expectations don't change a whole lot to go along with it, there are gonna be a lot of people who think this whole societal improvement was a failure, even if it does succeed!)

But. if humanity can find itself capable of this big, big shift in worldview? then... there is hope. For something better. Not great, not perfect, but... better.

And it's hard enough to believe this is possible sometimes. Because, again-- even if I do all of what I think are the "right" things, in order to work toward this better world? That doesn't necessarily mean anything will come from all my hard work.

Like everything else, it'll depend on luck. And on the combined actions of lots and lots and LOTS of other people, none of whom I can control at all.

But it's all the hope we've got, so... I still try.

Some rando: You should think about stopping your prescription

Me: My pills make me not want to die tho

They: You shouldn’t want to die, that’s not normal

Me: Yeah that’s why I’m taking my pills

[akajustmerry]

Just to make sure I'm understanding (and I am asking this from a place of genuineness and excitement, even):

So Aboriginal people identify as Black, and I identify as Black, so y'all wouldn't be offended or misunderstood or anything if I said "we're both Black"? Like I can count y'all as my community too? Or is there something I am missing for better context?

(I have been reading lately that white scientists considered us two "different breeds" of Black, from American to Australian, which is... These men were terrible people)

hello! before answering any questions like this I like to make sure ppl understand I'm just one (fair-skinned, middle class) Aboriginal person and can't speak for all of us. We're not a monolith because no ethnic group is. So to answer your question very generally, the majority of Aboriginal peoples would not have an issue with other Black people calling us Black.

In fact there's so much history of solidarity and similarities between Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, and other Black communities:

Speaking for myself only, I have always felt so much solidarity and understanding for Black folks in the UK, US and other settler colonies because our experiences as communities are so similar. Not the exact same obviously there's always cultural differences, but similar in more ways than different.

What I mean to say is, as someone who is Aboriginal, I wouldn't be offended if another Black person called me Black. In fact, when this has happened to me, I love it so much!! Most Aboriginal peoples refer to ourselves colloquially as "Blackfellas/Blakfellas" too so we're very proud of being Black and how that connects us to other Black communities.

And yes when I was at university I read some of the old racist "science" that supposedly popularised Aboriginal peoples as a Black race that wasn't even human. It was/is disgusting!

Anyways, thank you for asking so kindly. Let me know if anything needs clearing up ❤️

[gotta-winwin]

watching him fade away | yjh

⭐ starring: jeonghan

💌 genre: angst, a sprinkle of fluff

💬 preview: It’s been 497 days since Jeonghan had awoken, only to realize he was completely alone.

tw/cw: post apocalyptic, conscious AI!jeonghan, abstract character death, fluff, angst, wounds, based on the song: watching him fade away by mac deMarco

🪽fic rating: pg 🪽word count: 1.8k

☁️ masterlist & a/n: writing this has been quite the journey- and there is no better time to drop this than for the angst olympics! i gift this to @diamonddaze01 as a tentative (+loving) beginning to what i'm sure will be many angst fics to come. don't sue me for emotional damage xoxo

this is a part of the angst olympics -- support other authors here!

SYSTEMS LOADING ….

“How might you need my assistance?” His perfectly crafted eyes blinked open. “My name is J-E-O-N-G-H-A-N, your personal robot for everyday needs!” 

The bird blinked back at him, ruffling its feathers and slowly waddling away.

“Do you need assistance?” 

Silence. 

Jeonghan didn’t really know what to make of it. Had someone purchased him from his creators? Where were they? Why was he sitting, legs spread and back leaning against the wall, in the middle of a giant warehouse? 

“No assistance then.” The monotonous whirr of his system began clicking as he shut himself off once again. 

SYSTEMS REBOOTING …. 

It took Jeonghan approximately 4 days, 6 hours and 47 minutes to realize no one was coming for him. 

Taking his first steps outside, he allowed his scanning mechanisms to take in his surroundings: the splintering hole in the roof, the overgrown walls, the barren landscape. It took him another 6 minutes to realize he was utterly alone. 

And what was an assistant robot supposed to do with no one to assist? The question burned in his mind as his programming worked to figure it out. Who was he supposed to help? 

Cheep. 

Jeonghan looked down. A spotted brown bird had bumped into his foot, its beak lightly chipping away at the metal. He bent down to scoop it up, scanning its features. 

“Baby Wood Thrush.” He identified. “Do you need assistance?” 

And so it began, the unlikely bond between robot and nature. Jeonghan found his purpose in assisting the only living things around him, building shelter for the antelope, finding fresh water for the birds, fixing the warehouse roof for the owls to nest in. 

But Jeonghan quickly learned that the animals couldn’t speak, not in any language his programming could understand. It made Jeonghan feel incredibly lonely. 

SYSTEMS ON ….

Jeonghan had discovered his great affinity for the ocean in his second week as a newly repurposed robot. He couldn’t get too close – the first time he had run in head first, damaging his systems and taking days to repair – but he could sit by the many rocks along the shoreline, moving the crabs and turtles away from the tide. 

It made his chest ache as he trained his eyes on the horizon, wondering if there were people to help on the other side of the water. But maybe he was truly the only thing left of mankind, Jeonghan didn’t know. 

But he did know he was different now. Water had fallen from his eye sockets last night, when he had turned on to find that a windstorm from last night had knocked over the bird nests, taking with it countless eggs he had been nursing. He couldn’t understand how it had happened, but it had. Jeonghan felt weirdly alive. 

The multiple gadgets and cords that made up his physical state felt more like organs and veins, pumping blood through the vessel the creators had called JEONGHAN. Your friendly assistant robot for your everyday needs. But he was much more than that now. 

SYSTEMS IN CHAOS ….

A girl. 

Jeonghan’s mind short circuited as he walked back into the warehouse, arms ladened with fresh fruit and variously shaped sticks. 

“Who-” 

The girl turned to face him, and Jeonghan’s true purpose had never seemed so clear to him as it did now. He was meant to assist her. 

“Do you need assistance?” He asked like he was programmed to, his keen eyes scanning her body for injury. “You’re hungry.” He commented, spilling his armful of things onto the table and picking out the ripest apple, handing it to her. “Eat.”

She looked at him warily. 

“My name is J-E-O-N-G-H-A-N, your personal robot for everyday needs.” 

She took the apple. 

“My name is Y/N.” She introduced herself, and Jeonghan slotted her name into his database. “Have you seen other people pass through here?”

Jeonghan shook his head, instinctively passing her a second apple once she had finished the first. “It’s been 497 days since I became conscious. You’re the first human to pass through.” 

Her lips parted. “497 days.” She repeated. “It feels like it’s been decades.” 

Jeonghan opened his mouth to reply and promptly closed it. He had a million questions to ask her but he knew none of it was his place. It wasn’t his job to question — his job was to assist, to accompany, to take care of his employer. 

“You’re hurt.” He observed once more, noticing the large gash on her right leg. “Let me help you.”

Maybe it was the calming nature of his voice or his pretty face, but she sat down without protest and extended her leg towards him. 

His heart (or lack of one) warmed at the sudden show of trust — that despite the broken world they had found themselves in, there were still pockets of humanity waiting to be found. 

SYSTEMS UP ….

In the next couple days, Jeonghan learned what the word banter truly meant. 

The girl was fast with her wit, cheeky with her words and unforgiving with his heart. He was sure he had a heart now, for it beat thunderously and quickly for her. 

Love was the one thing never programmed into him but he sure knew it now.

“Careful.” He reached a hand out instinctively to steady her, holding her as she regained her balance. “The sunset isn’t going anywhere.” 

He followed behind her as they jumped across the lake, using the rocks as a step bridge. 

“Quickly, Hannie.” She called, waving at him to quicken his pace. “I want to catch it when it’s still pink and purple.” 

“Sunset is 9:00pm tonight.” He informed her, collecting the information from his database. “We have 8 minutes.” 

“Still.” Her smile lit up their surroundings better than any ball of fire could. 

Fuck the sun, he found himself thinking. She was the brightest thing in this barren land and he felt honored to bask in her rays of light. 

“Hannie, look.” She pointed a finger up at the sky once they reached the cliffside. “It’s beautiful.” 

Beautiful. Jeonghan hummed in agreement, silently scrolling through his system’s database to log in a new definition. 

Note: beautiful directly translates to love, the look on a person’s face during the last legs of daylight. Her hair, blowing gently in the wind. 

“How did you end up here?” She asked him, reaching out her hands to intertwine her fingers with his. 

His lips curved into a smile, a natural reaction he couldn’t suppress each time she looked at him with her brightly lit eyes. His nonexistent heart beat - badum, badum, badum - in tandem with the swings of their connected arms. 

Love was a defect, a sickness for a robot, but with her Jeonghan didn’t mind. He would override his code in order to love her as many times as he needed to.

SYSTEMS DOWN…

He could hear the sound of his depleting battery beeping over the gentle rise and fall of her breath. 

Beep. Beep. Beebeebee- 

He flips the warning sign off with a reluctant hand. Oh, how he longed to trade in his expensive metal wares for real flesh and blood. His superpowered technology was utterly useless when it came to obtaining the one thing Jeonghan found himself truly wanting – time. Time with her, with the sky, with the world he had found himself falling in love with. Falling in love with her. 

“Do you love me?” She had asked him one night, as he held her in the rocking chair he had made out of a wilted tree. 

“Of course.” He had replied, because the answer was as clear to him as a math question was. 

“But you’re a robot.” She moved slightly away from him to cup her hands around his face. “A very real looking, very handsome robot, but a robot all the same.” A gentle knock against his chest showed that it was hollow. Empty. Void of anything that could ever produce love. 

Jeonghan knew it didn’t make sense. “I don’t need a heart to know I love you.” He whispered, pressing her hand against his chest, on the area where his heart would’ve been if he were real. “I love you with my whole being, my whole existence. Not just my heart.” 

She smiled, and Jeonghan silently thanked the universe for destroying humanity because it allowed him to meet her. 

SYSTEMS STALLING…

“I’ll go out once the sun rises.” She was lacing up her boot, a defiant look on her face. “I’ll find a battery, a charging port– something. We’ve still got time.”

Jeonghan could only weakly nod from his spot on the wooden chair, his powerless legs limp and useless. 

He could feel himself rotting from within, his nonexistent lungs rattling with each airless breath he took. 

“My love.” He whispered, and she turned back around to face him, halfway out of the garage door. 

“Don’t worry, Hannie.” A brave smile formed across her face, and god, did he love her for that. “I’ll find a way to keep you here with me.”

He nodded and watched her leave. 

Yet Jeonghan could feel it in his systems, the way parts of him were slowly shutting down as all the energy went to conserve his database. His brain. Everything that made him him. 

He was rotting. 

He was fading away.

SYSTEMS FAILING…

Jeonghan knew that the end was near. Sitting propped up against the brick wall of the warehouse, he clutched her hand in his limp ones, eyes roaming her face, lips parted in an attempt to comfort her. 

He was weakening and both of them knew it. 

“We can find the battery you need.” She brought up the idea again, something he had already told her was impossible. “You can’t leave me.” 

He wanted to tell her he didn’t want to leave her. Not like this. Not ever. He had a hundred thousand things to tell her. 

Yet Jeonghan couldn’t speak. 

“You can’t leave me.” She repeated, her eyes plainly showing the hurt she felt at his silence. “You can’t.” Tears tracked down her pretty face. 

Jeonghan closed his eyes. 

“No.” She protested, a warm hand reaching up to touch his cold cheek. “Open your eyes. Look at me.”

Jeonghan kept his eyes shut. 

“Look at me, goddamnit!” She yelled, shaking him. Her voice raised and broke. “Jeonghan, please.” 

He couldn’t. Jeonghan didn’t know when he had learned the art of selfishness, but somewhere along the way of loving her, he had become entirely selfish. He couldn’t bear the idea of her crying face being the last thing his database would ever recall seeing. 

God, he was selfish. For he wanted the happy version of her all to himself. 

“Please.” She begged again, her voice weaker this time around. “Look at me. Don’t leave me.”

His lips parted silently, releasing a breath that wasn’t his to breathe. 

“Please.” 

Beep. Beep. Bee-

. . .

SYSTEMS REBOOTING…

“How might you need my assistance?” His perfectly crafted eyes blinked open. “My name is J-E-O-N-G-H-A-N, your personal robot for everyday needs!” 

“Jeonghan?”

A girl stepped into his line of vision, her eyes rubbed raw from crying. 

“Do you need assistance?” 

Silence. 

“Jeonghan? It’s me.” The girl’s voice broke, and he couldn’t figure out why. 

“I’m sorry,” He stood up, scanning her face and entering her into his database. “What is your name?”

[kaiserposting]

My Worries Come in Phallic, Freudian Shapes

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 2k TYPE: Established Relationship, It's basically just Kaiser tweaking for no reason 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ (I find it funny but interpretations may vary) WARNING(S): Kaiser's overactive imagination?

Kaiser would like to say he’s quite numb to being separated from you. Sometimes you come along with him at away games, if possible, but in other instances you have to be apart sometimes even for months, and Kaiser likes to think he manages it well.

You’re not on his mind much when he’s training or during a game. Mostly his times of weakness happen outside of that, though Kaiser doesn’t let it get to him. For example, he does this fun exercise where if his mind strays towards you too often or when he can sense the void in his chest is beginning to take on a suspicious shape, he holds out on texting or calling you for as long as possible. To test his will — which is something normal people do like all the time, of course — and because wanting to distract himself gives him extra neurotic energy to burn when he’s doing his exercises.

Not that Kaiser becomes neurotic over you or anything. It’s not even a big deal to him.

He’s sure you miss him more than he misses you. He’s confident you do. After all, to him, it’s no big deal, as previously stated. It’s true.

He doesn’t worry about small and nonsensical things like how you’d probably prefer a more present and available boyfriend, and how you’re free to do whatever you want with remarkable ease when you’re seas and oceans away from him.

Kaiser’s eye twitches while he continues shoving the last of his belongings back into his luggage, since he needs to pack for his flight back home. This train of thought isn’t going anywhere good — he needs to abandon it. Besides, a second with Michael Kaiser is worth way more than a month with some stupid, worthless commoner. Your shitty replacement for him will never rival the real deal.

No, this is stupid. You love him, you don’t have a replacement for him. Right? You wouldn’t betray him while he’s away. You’re his first and only love, you can’t do that to him, can you? You know he’d kill you if you did it and he found out, don’t you?

This is stupid. He wouldn’t kill you! Kaiser doesn’t want to kill you. He should stop thinking about this… You wouldn’t do it to him either anyway, you love him back. Kaiser knows you do, so why does it not feel real most of the time?

What if you’ve fallen out of love with him, though? Maybe you look forward to when he has to go away for long. Forget all about him the moment he’s out of your sight, don’t spare him a single thought, have fun with your little friends while he’s gone, all that.

You probably get together and you start shit-talking him with them the way people do about their good for nothing boyfriends sometimes. They call his haircut stupid and you cackle along with them, then you tell them how insecure and unlovable he really is, and actually his dad beat him as a child so now he’s barely human, how it makes him an arrogant and pretentious piece of trash pretender, and then you’re like ‘I wish I had a normal boyfriend instead of Michael’, and they’re all like ‘you deserve a normal boyfriend, this is fucked up’, and you’re empowered to free yourself of your burden. So he comes back home and you pick him up from the flight and you break the news to him that you’re leaving him and he has to move his belongings back to his place.

Maybe you have a new fling already, but it’s nothing serious because you still need to dump Kaiser and all. And he’s like in finances or something, an accountant maybe, who works normal hours (not the overachieving workaholic type who stays behind to do extra), and he probably doesn’t have footage of him having meltdowns on live TV for everyone to see. There are no interviews where he’s acting bitchy, no compilations of him acting cruel or ‘crashing out’ or whatever else. And he probably grew up in an average household — they weren’t rich or anything, but his parents made time for him. They were loving and nurtured him to be a rightful member of society, raising him to be someone worth your affection…

Holy shit does Kaiser feel unhinged. Literally why is he making up this entire story in his head? It never happened.

It didn’t, right? You wouldn’t do it to him, would you? You love him. You really, really, really love him, like from the bottom of your heart, somehow you love him and you don’t want to hurt him, even if you’re probably sick of him being away and of his problems and his attitude and his everything. If you had a magic wand, he wagers you’d wave it and change him on a neurochemical level, keep his looks and his successes, but get rid of the unnecessary baggage.

Or would you keep him as he is and love that ugly thing? Can you? Do you have it in you? Are you just tolerating him for some monetary benefits or out of pity with your knowledge of his past? Do you still love him? Will you love him a few hours from now or are you going to get bored? Are you bored and antsy waiting for him and is it affecting your feelings, suffocating your love to zero each moment he’s not by your side, each reunion only serving to put off the inevitable? Is the novelty wearing off? Do you need novelty?

Kaiser fights off the impulse to write you a text message threatening suicide and then turning off his phone until the end of the flight to keep you on your toes. A flashy move in attention seeking for sure, but for one you don’t even know he’s in a mind war with you, so you’re more likely to be confused than begging for him not to do it and for his forgiveness, though maybe it could earn him a reassurance of love and care. Regardless, Kaiser is not taking the chance because if you ignore him or don’t see the message it’ll just devastate him.

And also he kind of doesn’t want to act like that. Well, he does, but the rational part of him is also still awake and holding him back. You won’t appreciate that. Right now the strife he’s going through is completely imaginary, but if he goes and acts crazy outside the confines of his mind, he really might fuck everything up.

If he makes too many mistakes, you might fall out of love with him, and if you fall out of love with him, you’ll leave him. Kaiser thinks about what he’d do in that case. Without you he is nothing besides an unwanted waste of breath — you’re the sole person who got close enough to see beneath his nonsense and decide to tolerate it, attracted beyond frivolity for an enigmatic reason.

Maybe the perpetrator behind this strange limbo of weird hysteria is Kaiser’s low self-esteem. It always circles back to that and he is sick of it. He doesn’t understand why you subject yourself to him and here, a whole ordeal.

Whatever anymore. Kaiser doesn’t even care. It’s a pointless matter to lose his mind over. He knows you cherish him, and even if you didn’t, he’d get over it. Life moves on. There are other fish in the sea…

Actually, if you tried to leave him, Kaiser has so many things he would do, they’d earn him a restraining order. First he’d resort to begging and ugly crying, but he doubts it’d sway you. He’d need to be more extreme.

No, that’s silly. If you separated, he’d react to it like a normal person, right? He wouldn’t do a thing. He’d let you leave without any theatrics and move on. Right? It’s what he would do, Kaiser decides.

Or maybe he can get a leg up on you and catch you out when you begin losing interest in him and he can work to win you back over. You won’t even know what hit you. Yea, Kaiser will scheme to sweep you off your feet.

Not that he cares that much to put so much effort in… It’s just his strength and natural calling as an unbothered male manipulator.

___

After the packing and the waiting at the airport and all that, Kaiser survives a restless flight. He tried to read a book during it, but he turned out not to enjoy it whatsoever (catastrophe). Then he turned to Gesner, who was sitting next to him and seemed like he wanted to kill himself, and told him in detail about all the plot problems and why this was what made nonfiction superior.

To Gesner’s relief Kaiser also spent a good chunk of it trying to sleep, though the endeavor was useless. He closed his eyes and his pattern of anxious cyclical thinking continued and he failed to doze off. What do you think about accountants? Maybe your side piece wouldn’t have any tattoos because you secretly find his corny and you’ve sworn off tattooed men. ‘I mean, seriously, just put the eyeliner on like a real man.’ Kaiser would bet this is what you’re saying to your friends.

Anyway, again, his flight was spent stirring in ridiculous thoughts in that vein. If nothing else, actually, if you knew what was running through his head, that would be what would put you off of him. But you don’t. He needs to just… keep it to himself and it’ll be fine.

So you find each other after some stumbling and chaos and some vague text exchanges like ‘where are you?’, ‘At the airport obviously’, ‘you think you’re so funny’, and so on, and when you spot each other, you grin upon the sight of him (hard to fake such immediate happiness, Kaiser concludes) and spread your arms out for a hug.

Kaiser rolls his eyes. You’re so cute, he wants to squeeze you to death, but regardless he puts on a big show of what an inconvenience this is and gives you a stiff, nonchalant embrace. The way you hold him is a small reassurance. You’re still in public though, so he needs to play it cool for a bit longer, and he reluctantly peels himself away from you.

You interrogate him about his time away while he’s your passenger princess on the way home. Kaiser takes it as a good sign you’re still interested in his life at least enough to ask, as if there was a possibility he was going to come back and you just… wouldn’t give a fuck about him or what he’s been up to. He keeps his answers vague, trying not to let on the almost daily mental torment he’s been subjecting himself to just because his brain can’t stop making up stupid narratives.

Once you two arrive, and only when you’re inside, does Kaiser give into his desire for your affection. He wraps you up in a way tighter embrace without intention of letting go and peppers your face in kisses.

The first time he acted like that with you upon coming back, you were rightfully weirded out, but now you’re used to this whole routine and let him have his moment of rare forwardness.

“You know,” he says, “I missed you like, a little bit.”

“It’s hard to tell,” you say, sarcastic.

Kaiser ignores it. He bites your cheek. Not hard enough to hurt at all, but it’s a strange sensation.

“So gross.”

“I hope you weren’t doing anything stupid without me. I wouldn't want to miss out on any fun.”

“I wasn’t.”

“What do you think about accountants?”

You raise an eyebrow at the random question, but humor him anyway. “Can’t say I think anything in particular about them.”

“Is that so…”

For some reason, you find his tone to sound suspicious? There is a harder bite — your skin might be a bit irritated around there for a few minutes. You wonder if Kaiser was arguing with management or something somewhere abroad.

___

I just wrote this because I thought Kaiser having emotional impermanence (which is likely) would be hilarious I promise I'll write a more plot-oriented one shot soon again

[guzmawife]

🍓: he had no job when i met him but now he works at a high school as an errand boy / security (his children attend said school). hes the guy they call in when a real teacher needs to use the bathroom so he can watch the class. or to retrieve some papers from the printer. go get me that thing boy.

🍒: probably just chilling at home with snacks and movies and fast food. or chillen at the beach. 🏝️

🍎: tapu cocoa.. we all know dis.. hot sweet drinks…

🍉: hes not religious other than believing that a higher power exists. hi arceus..

🍑: totally more comfortable giving gifts. hes used to taking care of others so it’s pretty natural for him to be giving. he has no issue receiving but its not rlly a priority since he didnt come from much so hes used to not rlly asking for much.

🍊: i make him peel it. he knows my paws and claws have to stay clean… he’s comfortable with getting dirty and i am not!

🥭: no i domt think so. his dad was a prick and said shit like. Youre not a woman so you dont need those. fuckkkk that guy.

🍍: probably him being mentally manipulated and abused! 😿 killing all the people that taught him he wasn’t anything and made him feel like he had to act out in order to prove himself to others. hhhggffg. he deserves to be loved.

🍌: he likes to be in the dark. das it. no specific reason why.

🍋: he would probably change his hothead nature bc he doesn’t like how quickly he gets upset and makes bad decisions. and his hairline.

🍋‍🟩: he tells people if you squish bugs more will keep showing up. as a joke. heehe. sorry im gonna squish them still im a pussy.. thats probably why they keep showing up though. i have an actual curse. maybe he’s right man…

🍈: he thinks fate is bogus and if you want something to happen you have to make it happen.

🍏: hes bisexual and questioning demisexuality, he learned of his bisexuality through being in denial of liking the same sex and being like. This is ruining my tough guy personality. This can’t be. but then it kept happening and he was like man fuck this whatever. what the hell sure. he became normal. he’s still figuring out the demisexuality, to put it simply he just doesnt want to engage in sexual acts with anyone unless he has a genuine connection to them. it also just feels better for him. sorry for airing out your business Anywayyyyyy. Anyway.

🍐: he’s a nail biter its kinda gross sorry man. his nails are short always so i make him do short nail tasks since my nails are usually pretty long. i think he bounces his legs sometimes too. he knows i hate that shit thou so he tries not to. usually i just leave so he can shake all he wants. then hes like what wait no….

🥝: he would totally let me do his makeup. we’re both pretty lazy when it comes to makeup so we don’t so anything complex. i just do mascara and corner highlights and SOMETIMES lipstick and that’s it. #autistic i cant stand having too much shit ok my face. this isn’t even about me brah. he does simple makeup too since he’s just not super experienced. he just tries things sometimes but he’s not a professional. he just wants to look cool.

🫒: he’s a big hugger he squeezes too tight but it feels good though…. (´ ω `♡) he likes to be hugged too! yey!

🫐: definitely more of an artist he actually keeps a sketchbook. right brained yeah.

🍇: if we never met i think he might still be getting himself into some trouble tbh. he’s pretty stubborn.

🥥: he draws he plays games. he works out. he cooks. i think he would want to get into gardening but his location doesn’t allow for it since it’s always fucking raining.

🍅: i think he would get me testosterone or something that i can’t possibly get safely right now. or like. my own living space. or some rare pokemon card / plush that costs more than an organ online. sigh. or probably 1 billion dollars. muhehw.

🌶️: he drinks ginger ale. ginger ale the ultra cure.

🫚: hes not picky. he cant eat beans bc hes allergic to them. but i dont think hes picky since he has to make sure his kids eat first. so he eats whatevers left from them. leftover amalgamation.

🥕: he didnt like them but he ate them anyway bc his parents were mean :(

🧅: he cries when hes angry like super fuming. and when hes thinking about his past. hes just mad at himself for what happened and how he handled things. Basically. getting manipulated and taken advantage of makes him upset and he cries. he doesnt cry at movies unless he relates to them.

🌽: does bugs counts as animal. He likes dogs. and isopods. and other sea creatures.

🥦: pet peeves are getting called ‘boy’ or ‘kid’. i used to call him boy all the time just by habit and he would Not like that. “I’m not a boy. I’m a man. stop callin me dat…” okaaayyy whatevar. he doesnt have an issue with me calling him dude tho. despite being his lover. which is a little funny. um what else. people not knocking before entering. leaving empty cartons and stuff in the fridge or cabinet. ppl telling him he looks tired. or people calling him old. not that he has an issue with old people (😽) but its like. How did you even reach that conclusion.

🥒: hes afraid of ultra beasts a little.. specifically uh whats its name. nihilego. that bird that i hate. middle finger emoji. hes like. a little more hesitant with UBs than regular mons. he’s also got a fear of getting lost.

🥬: beige flags auumm i hate his ugly fucking sunglasses. and when he says. ya boy (pinches the space between my brows). peeing with the door open. he does that thing where u can feel him looking at you waiting to turn around during the movie so he can kiss you. theres probably more. im very good at complaining.

🫛: he loves to think of new pet names for me to see how i will react. he’d be like. “goodnight honeypie” and id be like “oh…. yeah… 😽” he also likes them too but most of the time i just call him musham or guzma bc i like saying his name. then he’s like. Why dont you call me anything else…. (sad puppy eyes). he likes when i call him mumu or honey. i calll him princess sometimes but its rare. princess is like his top pet name for me. meeooww. sometimes i call him Boss. thats For when. Im teasing Him. That one Makes his Ears turn Red. For special Occasions. meow.

🫑: he’s had a number of near death experiences so he’s pretty afraid of death. he has no lofty life goals. he just wants his family safe. wants to travel too and have good genuine relationships.

🥑: not super niche but cosmetics and nail art. he also likes cooking and insects and drawing. just things he grew to like from being around his family. or trying to distract himself from his own issues.

🍠: he likes to go to the beach and sit listening to the waves (same). he also likes to paint his or others nails when he’s bored. “gimme yer hands i wanna try sumn”. yknow.

🍆: favorite scent is meeeeeee… i kid i kid. probably like. Ugh. baked goods. Sugar smell. Rain smell 👎🏾 i hate rain smell but he likes it. i don’t think he has any specific least favorite smells other than the usual like peepee and caca yknow.

🧄: allergic to beans

🥔: he makes japanese curry a lot. easy to make in large portions for his 75million children. i like rice so he usually makes rice dishes for me. i don’t cook very often but when i do its cultural foods since he doesn’t know those recipes. he likes those. yom. he wants to learn baking but just hasn’t had the chance or motivation.

🍄‍🟫: i think he would wanna be a mewtwo or something. super strong and cool nonchalant. if we’re talking irl mytho creatures, cerberus. that guy cool as shit. #swagger.

this took me three whole days to answer. enjoyable experience rlly made me think. sorry for any typos i used swipe typing for parts of this 😿.

@sylvie-wants-your-dogs hi : )

the ULTIMATE f/o infodumping ask game!

(this is gonna be a long one...)

🍓 - disregarding the career your f/o currently has, what other career would they consider going into, if given the chance?

🍒 - if your f/o and you spend a day doing anything, anything at all, what would they do and why?

🍎 - what's your f/o's favorite drink? any drink, alcoholic or non alcoholic!

🍉 - is your f/o religious? what's their opinion on religion or spirituality?

🍑 - is your f/o more comfortable giving or receiving gifts? why? do they have any preferences on gifts they like receiving?

🍊 - if you asked your f/o to peel an orange for you, what would they do?

🥭 - did your f/o have stuffed animals growing up? do they still have stuffed animals? do they have a favorite?

🍍 - if you could change any one thing about your f/os backstory/character, what would you change? why?

🍌 - does your f/o have a vendetta against The Big Light™? what kind of lighting do they prefer?

🍋 - if your f/o could change one thing about themselves, what would they change and why?

🍋‍🟩 - is your f/o superstitious? is there any habits they follow or quirks they have to follow said superstitions? like not opening umbrellas indoors to avoid back luck?

🍈 - does your f/o believe in fate? do they thing everything is preplanned out by the universe or a higher power, or do they think that the idea of fate is bogus? why?

🍏 - if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

🍐 - does your f/o have any nervous ticks or idle quirks they do? like mindlessly tapping on a desk or fiddling with their hair when they're stressed?

🥝 - would your f/o ever let you do their make-up? what does their make-up process look like? is it simple? complex?

🫒 - what kind of hugger is your f/o? do they give good hugs? do they like hugs? do they like receiving hugs?

🫐 - is your f/o more of a writer or an artist? would you say your f/o is more left or right brained?

🍇 - if you and your f/o never met, what do you think your f/o would be doing right now?

🥥 - what hobbies does your f/o have? is there any hobby they would like to get into that they haven't tried out yet? what is it?

🍅 - if your f/o could buy you any gift in the world, whether it exists or not, what would they buy you? or, if they could make you something, what would it be?

🌶️ - does your f/o have any remedies they follow when they get sick? like taking a shot of whiskey to get rid of a fever?

🫚 - is your f/o a picky eater? is there any foods they will not under any circumstances, gun to their head, eat?

🥕 - when your f/o was little, did they dislike vegetables? do they still dislike them?

🧅 - what makes your f/o cry? do they get emotional at sad movies or books? do they only get emotional under very rare circumstances?

🌽 - does your f/o have a favorite animal? what is it? are they scared of any animals?

🥦 - does your f/o have any pet peeves? things that just really really get on their nerves? what are they and why?

🥒 - what's your f/o afraid of? do they have any phobias? anything minor they're scared of?

🥬 - what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not nessecarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

🫛 - how does your f/o feel about pet names or nicknames? do they like them? hate them? what are their favorites and least favorites to be called and to use?

🫑 - how does your f/o feel about death? are they afraid of it? is there anything specific they'd like to do before they die?

🥑 - is there any niche topics your f/o is interested in? what are they and why do they like them?

🍠 - what are a few of your f/os favorite pastimes or things that they do when they're bored?

🍆 - does your f/o have a favorite scent? why is it their favorite? do they have a least favorite scent?

🧄 - does your f/o have any allergies? food or otherwise?

🥔 - does your f/o have any food dishes they make often? is there any foods you make for your f/o that they enjoy?

🍄‍🟫 - if your f/o could be any mythological species, what would they be? if your f/o is already a mythological species, would they ever want to be human?

I recommend practicing reblog karma ! people love infodumping about their f/os :) I also recommend sending more than one emoji at a time,,, there are Many here...!!!

[often-daydreaming]

Second Chances

"Danny!?"

"Danny!"

"Hey, hey, hey."

"Keep your eyes open for me."

"Come on Danny."

"Just focus on me."

"..."

"I promise everything will be alright."

The last thing Danny ever sees before everything goes black is the tears in his herald's ey...

-_- -_- -_-

"No!"

"Not again!"

-_- -_- -_-

"I can't... I can't lose him."

"Not like this."

"..."

"..."

"Say something! Anything!"

"Tell me how to fix this!"

"..."

-_- -_- -_-

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

-_- -_- -_-

"There's nothing you can do."

"You can let me do this! Let me take your place!"

"If you die here hundreds of thousands of lives will be changed forever. You'll never time travel. You'll never meet your friends."

"I don't c-" "You'll never meet me."

"I can make it work. I've time traveled before, rewritten fixed points."

"Not those times. Not one line."

"But..." Bart looks so lost as he desperately tries to figure out a plan but they were running out of time.

The handful of remaining heroes were scattered. They'd ignored all of the warnings, believed the worst kind of people and the League wasn't prepared for Pariah's reawakening to empower the moonlit world. No one was prepared for it, not when the monsters were already deep within the League pulling the strings from within and... This was… Without any warning Bart collapses, the nth metal bracelet he's always kept wrapped around his wrist sending a cold chill through his body as the familiar touch of Danny's magic engulfed the area.

"It's okay." Danny catches him before he can hit the floor, pulling him into one last bone crushing hug to hide his own tears. "It's not over for you. Clockwork... Clockwork promised everything would work out if I did this... He guaranteed it and he rarely gives me a straight answer so... So we'll... I guess we'll see each other again. You've got a whole new life ahead of you. The Justice League. The team. You and me."

"Even if I'm not the same person a part of me will always be there to watch you run." The bracelet glows softly with his promises, the runes that had protected him for years binding them together with his words and then Danny was shoving him back leaving Bart less than a fraction of a second to try and reach out for him before his entire world is swallowed by shadows and he's falling.

Bart Allen would live.

He'd have as many second chances as Danny could spare since Earth 63 was lost.

The moonlit world had decimated it, turning friends and family against each other but even now the Infinity Realms rumbled a challenging call. Their herald was gone for now but the king would fight, and continue fighting to the bitter end while Bart... Bart would... He'd...

"Time out."

Staring down at the young herald Clockwork smiled a little half smile as the ripple effects of their actions were already taking effect.

It might be a little different then he'd intended and he'd certainly bent a few rules in order to ensure his preferred outcome but the Ancient of Time was confident things would work out for the better.

"Now let's see if we can get it right this time."

It's nothing much but a part of an idea I had for Bart and Danny trying to survive/fix the DC vs. Vampire universe.

Danny's trying.

Bart keeps trying to reset everything but it isn't working. He changes a few things but nowhere near enough to stop what's going to happen until Clockwork finally steps in with a playbook that might work.

I don't know what it is with me always imagining the two of them traveling around apocalyptic worlds but Danny is Danny so he can't be turned into a vampire while Bart is his herald, he's essentially Danny's Fright Knight with an anti magic nth metal bracelet and a whole lot of blessings so he doesn't end up like the rest of his family.

[w0rmss]

Can you do like Jason Todd x reader whos like Constantine’s kid, like Reader went through a lot of stuff that they got powers (any magic type) and Constantine takes them in. Jason meets them in battle is is kinda mesmerized by their powers and fighting.

Absolutely I did my best so I hope you like it. Thank you so much for the request I really appreciate hope you enjoy

Across the way

tw: fighting guns blood injury kissing and a minor minor talk of living on the street.

Jason knew it was bad when Bruce called for backup. And when he called for magic back up, it was so much worse. Gun blared blood splatter swords clashed. It was a mess. Then, a flash of light came from across the way. He turned and was met by the most magnificent sight. You. You were knocking people out with blast of light and fire, and gods only know what else, and Jason loved it.

Your dad had called you. Well, you say dad, he's more like a random wizard man with a British accent and a smoking problem who plucked you off the street and thought you magic. But at the end of the day, john constantine was your dad, to the best of his ability. When Conservative had called, he'd informed you the batman needed help for and he was busy. The usual father child magic duo things. That's how you found yourself setting fire to goons and looking good doing it.

Jason watched you entrenched like you were a God in need of worship. He didn't even notice the goon or the gun till he felt a searing pain in his left shoulder, and the other guys pants were on fire. You grab Jason's good arm and pull him away from the fight. "Geez, man, you good." You ask as you start to assess the wound. Jason winces as he feels you put pressure on the bullets entryway. "Fine." He grits his teeth as you glare at him. "Sure... I can help... delt with enough if these to know how." Jason winces again but nods.

He watches you work ignoring the raging fight still happening just beyond. You look even more perfect close up. Your eyes your face your skin all perfect. And Jason though he might die again looking at your lips. "You may have a helmet on but I can still feel you gawking at me."  You look up at him finishing up with his shoulder. Jason laughs sheepishly. He reaches up and pulls of his red hood helmet thankfully wearing a domino under it. "Thanks for the help." He mumbles eyes still glued to your lips.

Before you can react, with the fight still raging behind you, Jason leans down amd captures your lips in his. Caught of guard it takes you a moment to reach and jason goes to pull back, but before he can your lips pull him back in and your hands find his hair. You kiss each other like the world isn't ending behind you.

Thank you so much hope you enjoyed. If you’d like me to write anything else feel free to request my dos and donts are up so yep

have a lovely day night afternoon etc. Thank you.