#.....i can't help but find myself wondering if it *would* feel good. to hurt. to see my own blood
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
.
#so first of all I'm fine.#second of all I don't know if that's a lie or not but like. by some stretch it's gotta be true#so it doesn't count as a lie to my code of honor.#anyway. I keep fucking losing it y'all#I.... even now on depression medication I'm still breaking down what feels like fucking daily#it's just in different ways#crying harder than I have in a while and feeling more panicked about than like I'm releasing emotion#it's more distant but for some reason it's. easier to conceptualize uh#....tw here for like self harm and suicidal thoughts don't read the rest of these if you don't wanna see that#some reason it's easier to conceptualize the idea of. cutting myself? it never felt like a possibility before#id think about it and know I'd never do it. but. now....#.....i can't help but find myself wondering if it *would* feel good. to hurt. to see my own blood#........there are so many people who's lives I've touched that would be saddened if I were gone but#it's.....harder to use that to ground myself. to pull myself away from the thoughts of just......#..........stopping#ending everything. i dunno. fuck.#....a few weeks ago I found myself wanting to roll out of the moving car and could feel myself able to#reach for the seatbelt buckle and the door handle#........im not okay and honestly I don't know if I care#sometimes I do but when I feel like this it feels impossible TO care#it feels so distant. i feel so distant. I feel so nothing and so bad at the same time#i feel so fucking ugly#so much self hatred rearing it's head where I thought I'd gotten past it#i have a therapy appointment at the end of March and I'm not sure if that's soon enough.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stormbound
Jacaerys Velaryon x pregnant!reader
[WARNING: pregnancy, mentions of difficult pregnancy terms, fluff
[SYNOPSIS: You were heavily pregnant as you and jace encounter a wild dragon while a storm raged on.
[NOTE: you had poor jace stressed out, we love jace being protective over the reader: also if you would like something specific, send an ask!
"Where are they?" he muttered to himself, running a hand through his dark curls. The maesters had assured him that everything was fine, but he couldn't shake the feeling of dread that had settled in his chest.
Your pregnancy had been difficult, and the tension had taken its toll on Jacaerys. He had tried to be strong for you, but the fear of losing you, or the child, was ever-present. He couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to you both.
Just as he was about to go in search of you again, the doors to the hall creaked open, and you stepped inside. Despite the strain of pregnancy, you carried yourself with the grace and strength he had always admired. Your hand rested protectively on your swollen belly, and your face lit up with a tired but genuine smile when you saw him.
"Jace," you said softly, your voice a soothing balm to his frayed nerves.
He rushed to your side, his hands immediately going to your belly. "Where have you been? I was worried sick."
You laughed lightly, the sound easing some of his tension. "I just needed some fresh air. The castle can feel so confining sometimes."
He sighed, pulling you into a gentle embrace. "You should have told me. I would have gone with you."
"I know, but you worry too much," you replied, leaning into him. "I wanted a moment to myself. Besides, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."
Jacaerys pressed a kiss to your forehead, his heart swelling with love and protectiveness. "I know you are. But I can't help it. I love you too much to let anything happen to you."
You smiled up at him, your eyes filled with warmth. "And I love you, Jace. But you need to relax. Stress isn't good for either of us."
He nodded, though the worry didn't entirely leave his eyes. "Alright. Let's find somewhere quiet. I need to feel you and the baby close."
Hand in hand, you led him out of the grand hall and towards the more secluded parts of Dragonstone. The storm outside raged on, but within the castle, it felt as if the two of you were in your own world. The soft glow of torches lit your way, casting flickering shadows on the ancient stone walls.
You reached a small alcove near the courtyard, a place where you had spent many quiet moments together. Jacaerys helped you settle onto a bench, his hand never leaving yours.
"You know," you began, your voice soft and contemplative, "I sometimes wonder what it would be like to just... leave all of this behind. To take our child and live a simple life, away from the responsibilities and the danger."
Jacaerys looked at you, surprise flickering across his face. "You've never mentioned that before."
You shrugged, a wistful smile on your lips. "It's just a thought. I know we have our duties, and I wouldn't trade our life here for anything. But sometimes, it's nice to imagine a different path."
He squeezed your hand, his gaze intense and loving. "If that's what you want, we'll find a way. Your happiness means everything to me."
You shook your head, a gentle laugh escaping your lips. "No, Jace. This is our home, and we belong here. But it doesn't hurt to dream, does it?"
"No, it doesn't," he agreed, pulling you closer. "As long as we have each other, we can face anything."
For a while, you sat together in comfortable silence, listening to the distant roar of the storm and the crackle of the torches. The tension that had gripped Jacaerys slowly began to fade, replaced by a sense of peace.
But peace was a fleeting thing in times of war and unrest. As the storm continued to rage outside, a distant, echoing roar pierced the night. Jacaerys tensed, his protective instincts flaring to life. "Did you hear that?" he asked, his voice low and urgent.
You nodded, your own heart racing. "What was it?"
"Stay here," he commanded, rising to his feet. "I'll go check."
"No," you protested, grabbing his arm. "I'm coming with you."
"___, you're pregnant," he began, but the look in your eyes silenced him. "Alright. But stay close to me."
Together, you made your way through the castle, following the eerie sound. The further you went, the louder the roar became, until you found yourselves standing at the entrance to the courtyard.
And there, in the middle of the storm, was a dragon unlike any you had ever seen. It was massive, nearly as large as Vhagar but with a wild, untamed look in its eyes. Its scales were a deep, iridescent purple, shimmering in the lightning flashes.
"Aero," Jacaerys whispered, awe and fear in his voice. "The Catastrophe."
You had heard of Aero, the wild dragon that roamed the skies near Dragonstone, but seeing it in person was an entirely different experience. The dragon's presence was overwhelming, and for a moment, you were frozen in place.
But Jacaerys didn't hesitate. He stepped forward, his voice steady and calm despite the fear in his eyes. "Aero," he called out, "we mean you no harm."
The dragon turned its gaze towards you both, its eyes glowing with an almost intelligent curiosity. It took a step forward, and Jacaerys instinctively moved in front of you, shielding you with his body.
"Jace," you whispered, fear gripping your heart.
"It's alright," he said, his voice firm. "Just stay behind me."
Aero lowered its massive head, sniffing the air around you. For a moment, it seemed as if the dragon was considering whether to attack or not. But then, with a huff that sent a gust of hot air over you both, Aero turned and took to the skies, disappearing into the storm.
Jacaerys let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, turning to pull you into his arms. "Are you alright?"
You nodded, clinging to him. "Yes. That was... incredible. And terrifying."
He chuckled, though the tension hadn't entirely left his body. "That's one way to put it. I can't believe we just saw Aero up close."
You leaned into him, the adrenaline slowly ebbing away. "We should get back inside. The maesters will have our heads if they find out we were out here."
He nodded, but didn't move to leave. Instead, he held you close, his hand resting on your belly. "I'm so glad you're safe," he whispered, his voice filled with emotion.
You kissed him gently, your heart full of love for this brave, protective man. "I am. Thanks to you."
As you made your way back inside, the storm began to die down, leaving a sense of calm in its wake. Jacaerys was still tense, but the fear had been replaced by a fierce determination to protect you and your unborn child. Later that night, as you lay in bed, Jacaerys held you close, his hand never leaving your belly. The events of the evening had only strengthened his resolve to keep you safe, no matter what.
"___," he murmured, his voice soft in the darkness. "I promise you, I will always protect you and our babe. No matter what it takes."
You smiled, feeling a sense of peace settle over you. "I know you will, Jace. You will be a fine father."
In the quiet of the night, with the storm finally gone, you both drifted off to sleep, your hearts full of love and hope for the future.
taglist: @benjicotblckwood
banner by: @cafekitsune
#house of the dragon#hotd fanfic#hotd season 2#hotd imagine#house targaryen#hotd x reader#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys x you#hotd jacaerys#prince jacaerys#jacaerys x reader#jacaerys strong#pregnant reader
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Saw @artsymeeshee hospital sketches of the sea grunks and thought to myself, is this finally my time to write some brotherly angst for these two? The answer is yes. Short but sweet, please enjoy.
******************************
The first thing Stan becomes aware of is the noise.
A constant beeping right next to his ear. Loud and high-pitched and repetitive and unfortunately very familiar to an old grifter with bad luck like him. He would be a lot more annoyed with this sound if his last clear memory wasn't of roaring waters rushing past his ears, stealing his hearing and leaving nothing but white noise behind.
He'd rather take the beeping.
Next comes taste, which, ugh! He could have gone without that! The feel of scratchy sheets is not much better but it tells him that he is in one of the better hospitals. Believe it or not, the better the hospital, the scratchier the sheets. Ford should cool it with the mystical beasts and research what's up with that!
Speaking of Ford.
Stan keeps his breathing even as he slowly opens his eyes. The light has been dimmed in anticipation and he blinks a couple times at a ceiling that is painted a nondescript beige color. He looks at it for a moment and for some strange reason he suddenly feels a fierce urge to video call Mabel.
But first things first.
Stan slowly turns his head to the side which actually hurts. Don't they have him on the good stuff?
Just as he expected, there is his brother. Ford has squeezed himself into the same bed as Stan, facing his brother's prone form. Stan can't help but smile. His brother must have bullied the nurses into letting him stay. The bed is way too small for two grown men but somehow the genius has managed to practically fold himself into a compact ball, leaving enough room for all those fancy machines connected to the patient. One of his hands lightly rests against Stan's chest which he hasn't even noticed until now.
Ford's eyes are closed but he is mumbling under his breath, reciting one of his journal entries from memory.
Stan winces. His brother must be really rattled by this little mishap.
‘Great job giving the guy another thing to worry about, Stanley!’
“I think climbing into the hospital bed with the patient is against the rules, Sixer? You are not supposed to do that.”
He was going for levity and humor but his hoarse voice kinda ruins that.
Ford's eyes don't snap open. He doesn't gasp or jerk upright or anything like that. Instead he takes a shuddering breath and deliberately opens his eyes. They find Stanley immediately and there is not a hint of surprise in them. Stan wonders how long Ford has known that he's awake.
“Same to you,” Ford says and his voice is so flat it causes a shiver to run down Stan's spine.
“Hey, s’not like I planned for this to happen.”
“I would be very cross with you if you had planned falling overboard, Stanley.”
Ford's emotions still feel weirdly flat. He isn't even lecturing and scolding Stan for his reckless behavior, just presses his six-fingered hand against his chest and stares at him with those blank eyes.
“I'm alright.” Stan shifts so he can face his brother and, damn, those ribs are definitely cracked. He briefly wonders if that happened in the fall or whether someone had to do CPR on him and quickly decides that maybe he doesn't want to know. Close call. Much too close. “I'm alright, Ford,” he repeats as if that makes it true.
For the first time an emotion flickers through Ford's face. He narrows his eyes and for a moment Stan thinks he's angry but then a single tear runs down an unshaven cheek, immediately seeping into the pillow.
“I thought I lost you for good,” Ford whispers, voice tortured. “I couldn't find you. For the longest time. I looked and I looked and you were just… gone. I couldn't find you!”
‘Same to you,’ Stan echoes with a bit of a bitter edge, mind replaying thirty years of hunching down in a dusty basement in a matter of seconds.
But this is not about him and Stan is, no matter what some might want to tell you, not an insensitive asshole.
“You did find me,” he says. He doesn't actually know if that's true. The time after he fell into the ocean during that storm is still a bit of a mystery to him. All he remembers is the noise of the water and how cold he felt and a voice screaming his name, over and over, growing fainter with each wave crashing over his head.
But Ford needs some reassurance right now. And the best way to reassure Ford that Stan is alright is by proving his alrightness with a good, old Pines hug.
He lightly pulls at the hand on his chest and with a cut off gasp Ford immediately obliges, scooting closer until they are entwined with one another just like they were as kids when the nightmares became too much to remain separated by a bunk bed.
“You found me.” Stan repeats and ignores the tears soaking into his hospital gown.
‘That's what we do,’ he thinks with a content smile, eyes falling shut with exhaustion. ‘We always find each other again.’
#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#sea grunks#gravity falls fanfiction#stan and ford#stangst#I love that word#Also if you tag this as ship I will lose it#And block you#They are brothers!
594 notes
·
View notes
Text
This was the last call Maddie expected, the last person that she thought would ever be on the other end of the line.
"911. What is your emergency?"
Maddie didn't know how many times she has repeated those words. Not that it mattered but she wondered some times. Wondered how many people she's actually helped, how many people she was the last person they ever spoke to.
On the other end of the line multiple alarms blaring were off aching Maddie's ears. Gusts of wind scream through making it hard to hear anything that is happening.
"911. Is anyone there?" Maddie's eyes narrowed her heart rate steadily increasing.
"Maddie is that you?" a man's voice piped up.
The blood in Maddie's veins grow ice cold, she knows that voice. She may not know that voice well but she knows that voice. That same voice that made her brother happy all those months ago, that same voice that became an important part in her brother’s life, that same voice that ultimately destroyed him.
"Tommy? W-What is going on? What happened?"
A mirthless laugh comes from the other line.
"Nothing happened yet, but it will. God I was really hoping someone else would pick up the line."
"Where are you?"
"Ummm, in the sky, but that won't last long. Helicopter is going down, nothing I can do..."
"Where are you Tommy? I-I can send help, you will get through this."
"No, I don't think I will, not this time."
Tears started pooling in Maddie’s eyes.
"Tommy don't say that, you don't know what is going to happen."
Silence.
"Maddie, can you do me a favor?"
"Of course."
"Can you make sure you're here when Evan hears this? He's on shift right now, so no point in calling him... I guess I could of left a voicemail but it's a little hard to think when you're falling to your death."
"Tommy you aren't going to die."
"Sure," Tommy chuckles "Then let's just say falling. It's hard to think while falling."
Tommy take a moment to breath.
"So I guess here is my message. Evan, I have been trying for weeks to figure out the right words, completely failing to find them. I guess now is as good a time as any, in case, well I guess you know already. I shouldn't have said what I said that night. I was just scared, scared of the future, scared that you would actually see me and not this version of me you have in your head. Probably could of used some better words that night to explain my self. You should of heard the earfull I gor from Eddie, he was -understandably- pissed. So I apologize for what I said, how things turned out. Hell even for calling you Buck. I was trying to distance myself from you but it came out cruel and uncalled for. That wasn't my attention. I didn't realize that subtracting my self from the equation, from us, would hurt you. Nor did I realize how much it would hurt me..."
Maddie pursed her lips as tears started streaming down her cheeks. She may have been angry at Tommy for everything but she was seeing a side of him she didn't expect.
"I guess what I want to say, what I am trying to say before I can't is; I love you Evan, I have for a while now and fuck dose it scare me. It scares me how hard I have fallen for you... and that I am sorry, I am so sorry how things have ended Evan."
Silence.
"Tommy?" Maddie finally piped up, her mouth dry.
"Yeah, still here."
"I am going to get you some help ok? And you can tell my brother everything you just said to me in person you got that Tommy?
"Ok," Tommy sighed, "But as a just in case will you give him this message, worse case scenario."
"There isn't going to be a worse case scenario.
"Please just promise me Maddie."
Maddie shudders through the tears, "Yeah ok I will."
"Thank you."
The alarms keep blaring into Maddie’s ears for what feels like forever. Then nothing. The line goes dead.
"Tommy?"
Silence.
#you can interpret the ending how ever you want to#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#911#911 abc#911 ficlet#ficlet#evan buckley#tommy kinard#maddie han#mine
153 notes
·
View notes
Text
Religious Differences
RQ: 'Hiiii if you're comfortable could you write some angst/hurt/comfort where a non-religious reader finds comfort in Kurt's religion and teachings during a hard time? If that makes sense? I've never been particularly religious myself (on the fence about spirituality), but in the past I've found great comfort in friends/family and their religious beliefs when things went awry. Idk something about the mutual comfort and respect towards eachother's ideologies and just talking about different religions and ideas brings me comfort when I'm feeling down :)' - @citiirose
Warnings: GN!reader, religious themes, unedited.
A/N: I felt this rq. I am not religious, but I've had religion shoved down my throat by my parents. For a long time I resented religion, now I don't care as long as it's not pushed on me. I always thought this would be an interesting dynamic with Kurt. This was a little hard to write, but I hope I did a good job getting that comfort in there. I kept the troubles vague, so you could possibly come back and get comfort in any scenario.
WC: 1.4k
Faith in something unseen is almost cruel.
Especially when life threw you curveballs and you had no idea how to swing back.
You never felt the need or desire to believe in teachings spewed from a book older than you could imagine, especially not with all the science and proof saying otherwise. Everything contradicted each other, and a belief in any kind of faith felt confusing. Even learning, you never felt that pull that others do, your faith in an invisible force didn't exist.
Lately, life had been hard. Events were happening that effected you in such a way that you began to feel as though you yourself were crumbling. Nothing was helping you, you felt completely and utterly alone. You were always so strong, yet...you wished you didn't have to be. Or that you had someone around that would help you through it. You were just too stubborn to reach out on your own.
The only person who could always help you feel better was Kurt. He always knew exactly what to do and say to lift your spirits. The kind-hearted Catholic was always the shoulder you needed to cry on, offering you a safe space to express your emotions. His entire presence was incredibly calming for you, wrapping you in a sense of peace and understanding. Kurt could read you like a book, intuitively sensing your needs and providing the comfort you sought. In times like these, when everything felt overwhelming, you could really use that kind of compassionate support.
As if right on queue, the blue German teleported to you with a loud BAMF and purple smoke. He looked at you, his usual charming smile displayed on his face. "Ah, liebe!" he grinned, those fangs poking out of his lips, "I thought we could..." his smile faded slightly as he took in the sight of your sad form. "Ach....what's the matter, liebling?" his voice quieted with his question and he sat down beside you.
"Talk to me, ja? What's going on?" he asked gently, his arm wrapped around your waist and he let you lean on him. His tail wrapped around you too, brushing your leg. He was always so patient with you, his presence was grounding in the swirling thoughts you were having. You almost felt like you were caught in a typhoon, and he had become the shelter you needed for safety.
You slowly opened up and told him of what was going on. You spilled it to him, he was so easy to talk to. Kurt, being the wonderful listener he was, sat quietly and nodded along. He acknowledged everything you said, remembering bits and pieces he would ask about later. Your rant and vent made you feel so lost.
"I just...don't know what to do anymore. Or how to feel. I am...I feel as though I can't control my thoughts or help to think about what happens once everything is gone." You turned to him, "You are always so secure...how do you do it?"
Kurt smiled back, "Ah, I always find comfort in my faith. God is always there, so I am never truly alone. Sure, I cannot see him, but I can always talk to him. My faith is my light and it will always guide me through the dark." Kurt always spoke kindly about his faith, and it made sense. He had his rosary, always, and whenever he needed to, he'd fiddle with it.
You felt bitter. For some reason. Why was Kurt so secure, why weren't you? You were always so sure of things but something as unknown as faith irked you. Kurt was so sure and devoted, you were so upset with everything in your life it made you want to snap at him. You knew that wasn't right, so you held back. He didn't deserve that. But you couldn't help but feel mocked by the very thought of it.
"How are you so sure?" The sharpness in your tone was obvious, "I mean...you can't talk to him really. He doesn't respond back. And, how are you so sure he is real? The books have been rewritten thousands of times, lost in translation. How are you so sure you're even following what he wants? If you believe that." You asked him, you weren't sure how he was so devoted to something that seemed impossible. "Science explains everything the book does. How are there dinosaurs, but no people for millions of years? Or, if they did exist, how did humans survive? Humanity didn't start happening until way later in life. You can't just ignore the facts life has."
He didn't look offended by your questions, he had been asked them many times. He smiled and held his rosary, rolling the beads between his fingers. "There are ways to look around it, God's teachings can seem confusing with what science can explain. Sometimes, faith extends past what you can see with your eyes, and you have to see with your heart and soul. Then you allow it to guide you."
Your brow furrowed with confusion, you couldn't imagine doing that yourself. You just couldn't believe it, and thinking on all the stories that come with Catholicism, you just couldn't pair them with what you knew. Science was there, the stories were vague and the teachings didn't make sense to you. "I still don't get it. There are so many things that tell you the truth. Explanations that don't rely on God, who's essentially an invisible, flying orb in the sky."
Kurt nodded, "Ja, that is true, but as I said, you have to open your heart and allow it to come in to understand it." He rubbed your arm and smiled, "Not everyone can, and that's okay. I know how you feel, and how it might seem...odd. That I am so devoted to something you don't understand. I'm happy to teach you, or talk to you about it..."
You thought for a bit, looking to him and fiddling with the end of the rosary he still held. You weren't sure if you could touch it, but he hadn't moved away. "This might be a weird request but...can you tell me some?"
"Tell you some what?" Kurt tilted his head.
"Some stories. I don't know I just...I think that even if I don't believe like you do...it would help me feel better." You muttered, feeling embarrassed for asking him this, hoping he wasn't offended. He heard the hurt in your voice, he was surprised you asked this, knowing you weren't faithful like he was. Still, who was he to deny you such a simple thing? His grip on you tightened and he leaned into your hair. "Of course, liebling..." he situated you both so he was sat back on your bed, pulling you to lay on him.
After you were cozy, he rubbed your back and told you all the common stories first. Of Eden, of the Ark, the Lion's Den, the Giant, all the classic known ones. As he spoke, he told them in such detail, his voice calm and even. He spoke of the teachings, of the great splitting of the sea, he told both the kindness and power. He told of the faith and love. He was passionate without overwhelming you.
For the most part you listened, letting your eyes close as he spoke and hummed to you. But you of course had your thoughts and questions. Kurt happily answered them, glad you seemed interested. He respected your ideologies, even if you didn't believe like he did. He was still happy to teach you and tell you stories when you felt down like this. He had such understanding, he was respectful and didn't push his faith onto you.
"We are never truly alone, he watches over all of us. He protects us and provides us with comfort. He guides us, helps us through the difficult decisions we may make or is there for us when we need someone. We are of God, even with our...unique...abilities, or appearances. We are the same on the inside, and we are all loved." Kurt looked down, seeing you were close to sleep.
"That's it, liebe..." he smiled and kissed your forehead tenderly, "You will always be loved, even if you don't believe. He loves you, as do I. Rest, your troubles will fade away...I will be with you throughout them. If you don't feel like trusting in God, then trust in me." he hummed gently to your sleeping form, keeping you close and secure, his arms wrapped protectively.
He wished he could take the pain away, but what he could do was be there for you, and he would be no matter what happened.
Thanks for reading.
*BAMF*
Dividers by @/adornedwithlight
271 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi 💕I requested a while back about the Drew starkey baby sitting fic. I was wondering if you would be able to do another Drew fic. Recently seeing him in Disneyland and hanging out w yk who has me feeling a little devastated. I would want something angsty with reader and drew.
note: so...I can't bring myself to write angst for shit- so I made very much angst to fluffy comfort! hope that's okay... also very short cause I couldn't find inspiration but I wanted to write something for it <3
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
You,Drew, Madelyn, Odessa and a bunch of her friends were hangunf out at Disneyland to celebrate her birthday. Everything was great,everyone was having fun,you were doing all the possible rides and you got yourself a cute little headband.
You were outside the souvenir shop with Drew since you both already bought a bunch of expensive trinkets and came out while the other finished since you wanted some air. "what are you thinking about?" Your boyfriend asks,analyzing you with furrowed eyebrows.
"what? I'm not thinking about anything why?" "you've glaring at the wall like it personally offended you" You bite your lip embarrassed as you move your eyes away from the wall. "just zoned out..." a white lie who couldn't hurt nobody,but your boyfriend saw through that,tilting your chin up so you were looking at him.
"is it because of Dessa? again?" "no...no" you shake your head as a shaky sigh comes out of your lips "maybe,I don't know! she's just been so clingy again- like she's hanging off your arm and everything even after you talked to her about boundaries." One of Drew's eyebrows quirks as he stares at you with an unreadable expression.
"sweetheart... we talked about this, I- she's like this,I can't change it. I get that it pisses you off,but it's her birthday today. I don't feel like ruining it" "how you're ruining her birthday by telling her something she already know and that she just won't acknowledge" Drew's sigh,running a hand over his face as he weighs his options "listen... just- you know I love yeah? you don't gotta worry about her"
"I know... but literally it looks you two are the couple while I'm just hanging with madie behind you two" "that's bullshit-" "it's not." You're both glaring at each other before he pulls you into his chest as he press a kiss to your head "we're okay,your little head need to understand that. I don't love her,I love you" You hum as you hug him back,swaying slightly as you remain there for a while. "I know...I just can't help it." "yeah,I know. Pinky promise me you'll stop worrying,if I liked her I would have been with her already. I won't play with you"
"hm..okay" you nod as you intertwine your little fingers together as Drew bring them to his mouth to press a kiss to them "super promise." "super promise" you confirm as you smile again "good,now c'mon...we've got more rides to do" he says as peck your lips "I love you... remember that, baby-okay?" Your lips stretch into a wide smile as you nod "hm,I love you"
#🎀princess#outer banks#outer banks x reader#outer banks fluff#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks blurb#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron thoughts#outer banks imagine#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron blurb#drew starkey blurb#drew starkey fanfiction#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey#drew starkey fluff
201 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Anything" ♡ Curly x Anya
art credit: @straykisser
warnings: angst, topic of miscarriage
this is a good ending au of mouthwashing! if u are a hater, then dni🥰 this post aint for u, babe
Chapter 2
Curly was slowly beginning to heal. He was home. He was safe. That’s what he had to remind himself of. Curly sat on a chair on his outside porch with the fall breeze blowing against his face, causing his hair to rustle from the breeze. He was relaxed. He felt at peace. As peaceful as he can be anyway. A vibrating sound came from his phone. It was a text message from Anya. His eyes widened as they flicked over the words. "Would you like to meet up soon? Let's fix things. Let’s fix our friendship." He read the text slowly. Curly thought to himself: “Wow that was mature of her. I should have been the one to reach out since I screwed up so badly.... But I didn't want to bother her”. He responded with, "Yeah. I would love that."
Anya had been crying in her room for a few hours. She had felt so lost. And she felt that reconnecting with Curly felt like the next step. They had been friends.. and despite the trauma she had faced, she wanted to heal.
Curly went shopping that day, hoping to find something Anya might like. He wanted to get her something. Something meaningful. Something that showed he cared… even if just a bit. As he browsed, his eyes were immediately drawn to a blue necklace in the shape of a moon.
The next day, Curly sat at the cafe waiting for Anya to arrive. He had picked a booth by the window and tapped his foot a bit as he waited anxiously. Curly looked up upon hearing the bell ding and saw Anya enter and approach him. "Hi Captain- I mean.. Curly." She stood there awkwardly. Curly laughed, "That's gonna take a while to not say!" Curly stood and chuckled, and gently hugged Anya in greeting. As they sat down in the booth across from one another, Curly noticed her light blue eyeshadow. It complimented her just right. There was a silence for a moment, and then Anya’s eyes lit up. "Oh Curly, I wanted to tell you! I'm trying to get into medical school! Well, again.." She said while looking down at her feet. Curly smiled brightly. "That's awesome! I hope everything works out!" She smiled back and nodded.
He felt confused a few minutes later, and conflicted. Why was she so happy? Especially with the person who hurt her badly. Curly debated with himself then finally spoke, "Hey. Are you doing okay?" He asked genuinely. Anya looked up at him, she frowned. "Not really.. I'm trying to stay positive. After going through the most traumatizing experience ever, what else can you do?" She paused for a moment. "It's not like I wanted the baby but wow.. I didn't know how terrible it would be to lose one. No wonder why women talk about how terrible it is. I'm feeling it. I'm always gonna have this part of myself that's missing." Anya looked down, almost solemnly. After a moment, Curly reached across the table and gently took Anya's hand in his. Curly’s hand was strong and calloused, and Anya’s hand was smaller and trembling. He spoke gently after a moment. "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you feel. I will do anything to help you out. To be there for you. I promise" Anya slowly smiled faintly with tears in her eyes. "My first therapy session is next week. I think it will really help me. I feel you should do the same..It might help you too" He looked at her with caring eyes, still holding her hand. Curly gave her a thoughtful nod. The blue moon necklace stayed in his pocket… it hadn’t seemed like the time to give it to her.
☆
58 notes
·
View notes
Note
dilf teacher! dave mustaine who teaches female reader how to touch herself
WOAH im gonna award you with best request of the fucking century, this shit has me EXPLODING. I love for this one so much nonnie. Literally dm me I wanna be ur friend 😭
The lecture had long finished, and I found myself staying late with my professor. Professor Mustaine.
He had very long ginger hair, and sharpest, most handsome eyes you'd ever seen. They were enough to slice me in half.
He was tall too, and I loved how his broad shoulders tapered down to his narrow hips. He was so beautiful that sometimes I wondered if he was real. If he wasn't some figment of my imagination.
I know he could tell I had a bit of a crush on him, because he didn't let other students sit in his lap like I was right now.
I Knew it was crazy. I knew it was wrong. I knew it was scandalous. But I couldn't help but love how he made me feel. "Tell me sweetheart.." he trailed off, running his hands down my body. "How often to you touch yourself for me?" He asked with a smug grin.
I blushed. My face turned bright red. I turned my head away from him, but he caught me, turning me back towards him. "Answer me." He said firmly.
"I-I don't know what you mean?" I said quickly.
"You mean to say you've never touched yourself?
You've never masturbated?" His voice rose into a laugh as I nodded shyly. "Oh, sweetie. It's time you learned then isn't it?"
He said softly. I nodded again, this time my eyes pleading with him to take me. He chuckled slightly.
"Stand up sweetheart." He ordered. I stood up and stepped out of the chair. I glanced around the room, wondering who would find us here. But when I Looked back at him, he was still staring at me.
"Look at me," he ordered, and I obeyed. "Good girl.
Now take your clothes off for me." He commanded, and once again, I did as I was told.
When I was naked, I felt self-conscious. But his hands on me brought me to life. They made me want to be the best version of myself. To please him any way he wanted. "Is that better?" He asked. I nodded.
"Sit on my desk," he instructed, helping lift me up onto the large desktop. My leg instinctively shut, afraid of him looking at me down there.
He stood behind the desk, my back laying against his chest. He had a good view down my body and where I would soon play with myself. He smiled, seeing my discomfort, and said, "Open them for me. Open your legs." I obeyed him hesitantly, feeling foolish that I hadn't done this sooner.
I was scared, I had never done this before, but I was grateful to have professor Dave to show me how.
He gently brushed the hair out of my face and looked me in the eyes. "We will go at your pace. I promise. I just want you to know how to make yourself feel good when I can't."
He took my hand in his, slowly pulling my fingers to my crotch.
I squirmed under his touch, wanting more.
Wanting all of him. But I trusted him, and I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.
He took my finger and placed it over my clit, circling it slowly. It took me a second to adjust, and then the pleasure hit me like a brick wall. It felt so good, better than anything I've ever felt before.
"Rub in circles, can you do that for me?" Dave whispered, still softly guiding my hand.
I nodded and began rubbing in little circles. He leaned forward, kissing my shoulder. It was so soft and gentle, I felt as though I were floating. It was hard to keep focus on what I was doing.
"Such a good job, does that feel good?" He asked gently, watching with the hungriest eyes as I masturbated for the very first time in front of him.
"Yes, Sir." I moaned, unable to answer any other way. "Lower your fingers, feel how wet you are,"
he ordered, making me lower my fingers so I could feel how slick my pussy was. I gasped slightly at the fluids dripping down my thighs.
"Is that all for me, sweet girl?" He cooed, also reaching down to feel how soaked I was. I nodded hastily, my pussy throbbing with these new sensations.
"I want you to put two fingers inside of you," he instructed me. "B-but profess-" he cut me off before I could finish. "Do it, I promise it'll feel good."
I did as he said, sliding two fingers into my hot core. I gasped in shock, and he chuckled slightly.
"That's it. Feel how tight you are? That feels so good, doesn't it?" I nodded, breathing heavily.
He took my hand in his, showing me how to use my thumb on my clit while my fingers were deep inside of me. Slowly, he guided my hand, making sure I knew exactly what to do.
It hurt a little bit but I quickly got used to my own fingers, curling this slightly as I fingered myself.
The pain turned into a delicious ache, and soon the only thing I was able to focus on was the arousal.
"That's such a good girl," Dave encouraged.
I could feel the knot in my stomach becoming increasingly tight and I had a feeling I was gonna cum. "Professor, I think I'm gonna cum, what do I do?" I whined in panic.
"You don't need to do anything, just let it happen," he reassured me. "Let go." And that was exactly what I did.
I continued to work at myself until I finally felt release, it was the most pleasure I'd ever felt in my life, all compacted into a few seconds. I moaned out, squirting cum all over my legs and our hands.
The liquid sprayed slightly until it came to a dribble, a puddle of cum all over his desk.
"Oh god," I breathed out, completely spent. Dave chuckled. "Well, there's your first lesson."
I exhaled with a slight laugh, leaning my head back into his shoulder. "Did you like that?" He asked me softly, brushing my cheek.
I blushed slightly, trying to ignore the strong urges that were still running through me. "Y-yes, Sir." I stammered, unsure what to say. "Good girl," he praised, kissing my cheek.
#dave mustaine x reader smut#dave mustaine fluff#dave mustaine x reader#dave mustaine fic#dave mustaine fanfiction#dave mustaine#dave mustaine smut#metal#reqs open#smut#request#smutshot#megadeth fanfiction#megadeth smut#fanfic#megadeth headcannons#megadeth x reader#megadeth#mustainegf
131 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! I hope your having a good day/night wherever you are 🫶
I was wondering if you could maybe write some friends to lovers head cannons with Ganji and Eli?
hello!! you too anon💖 (like. 5 months later but oh well :c )
this is such a cute prompt HEEHEE >W<
ganji gupta and eli clark friends to lovers hcs🏏🦉
ganji gupta🏏
he likes company but doesn't like initiating hangouts. he's a man of few words, most of them reserved for when there's really no other option other than to communicate verbally
whenever you two sit together he always gets a bit restless and fidgety. if you try to bring up the topic he'll just brush it off, saying it's nothing to worry about
he can't EVER discern if he likes somebody or if he's just anxious and it literally swallows him whole. thinking about verbalizing what he feels or physical closeness makes him feel a bit dizzy so he just pushes these thoughts to the back of his brain until they eventually resurface again
gets a tad distant, being a bit rude and brash as a defense mechanism
shows his care by being (over)protective, especially in matches. when he sees you in danger it's like he's seeing red, leaving hunters bruised from his aggressive swings. he says he's overprotective in general, that you're not special and that he treats you like he would anyone else, but it hurts to say that when he thinks the exact opposite
confess first. or, at least, hint at doing so. it's not gonna get to his head unless you say it first, directly, no buts or ifs - only then will he realize that hey, maybe i should stop denying myself romantic attraction?
your first few dates are a bit awkward. you two are a *thing* now, but he doesn't understand the new boundaries your relationship sets. is it really alright to hold your waist in front of everyone?
just give him some time until he gets comfortable, it takes time for him to drop the stoic persona
his first kisses are sloppy. he initiates them slowly and without much confidence, hands trembling as they bring you closer and he plants his warm lips against the corner of your mouth - he still doesn't dare to go lips-to-lips. they make for a good laugh afterwards, him nervously grinning at his own anxiety.
is almost shocked when you return the favor, maybe even more eagerly than him. slowly kiss his temples, rub the back of his head with care and he's paralyzed under your hands, his mind wandering away beneath your tender touches
his most cherished moments with you are spent in complete silence. the feeling of unconditional love contained within a comfortable silence is indispensable, and just the fact that he doesn't have to strain himself with small talk and expressing things he can't actually describe feels great
eli clark🦉
victory or loss, no matter his mood, whenever you call upon eli clark his head turns towards you in a second. his face is completely covered - save for his mouth and nose - but his lips are always curled into a soft smile
the cloaked seer enjoys solitude and spends most of his free time in it. he's softspoken, but always a tad gloomy and breathless
yet it doesn't take much to creep under his skin. a few kind words will quickly put him at ease and, encouraged by your own openness, he won't hesitate to be straightforward with you
spending so much time pondering and overthinking, he can't help but notice his feelings towards you. well, they might not be feelings by the traditional definition, but what other word can describe the tingles he feels when he hears your voice from behind, when you creep upon him? or the surge of heat in his abdomen while he's slowly making his way towards you, watching your expression change through brooke's eyes?
he confesses first. definetly. it'll take him a few days to devise a plan, to find the best spot and time to confess and phrase his thoughts, but it wouldn't take long during your friendship for it to happen. he's a bit of a romantic at heart and can easily get swayed by affection
most of his ways of expressing affection are through small PDA. tenderly holding your hand or your waist, rubbing your shoulders after a tense match or holding you from the back. he's a literal heat machine! has so much layers on and it feels really good to lay back against him in response. you can easily wrap the remaining fabric around yourself, too
only takes off his hood and blindfold a bit further into the relationship. he's so used to them masking his true appearance that taking them off in front of others makes him feel vulnerable
asks the WEIRDEST questions and says the most random stuff on dates. literally no filter. who knows where his mind actually goes while you talk to him?
likes when you get touchy with him :,) rub his hips (they're kinda sore and he often has to crack them like knuckles, it's hard to carry so many bags and pouches around his waist ok!!), mess with his hair, trace your fingers around his face, whisper him the dumbest things up-close into his ear, hell, even bite him if you want to! has insomnia anyways and any kind of stimulation helps him fall asleep. he just turns into a happy human blob
#identity v#idv#idv headcanons#idv imagines#identity v headcanons#idv fanfic#idv scenarios#seer idv#idv eli clark#idv eli#eli idv#identity v seer#idv seer#identity v eli clark#identity v eli#identity v x reader#eli clark#ganji gupta#idv ganji#identity v ganji#identity v batter#batter idv#idv batter
113 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Journal
I don't know. Cw: Ghost's backstory
Soap found the unassuming book on his desk. The edges of the paper had turned slightly yellow and they were clearly flipped through quite often. He frowned at it, wondering who went into his room and set this there. It felt... almost threatening.
Soap gently opened the book to look at the first page.
I'm writing this journal as a "therapy" exercise. Frankly I think it's fucking bollocks. I'm fine. I dream about nothing.
Well. That wasn't very helpful. The handwriting was odd. Almost scrawling, like the person who was writing had shaky hands but also couldn't be bothered to hold the pen properly.
Soap frowned. This seemed a rather personal thing to give to a person. But it was in his room.
Just one more page.
Apparently I'm supposed to introduce myself. Fine. My name is Simon Riley. I belong to the SAS. I was a POW for a couple of months. I keep hearing numbers but none of them feel right. I think parts of me are still down there.
I hurt. Everywhere. Especially when people touch me. I can't sleep. Can barely eat. My mum is worried. So does Tommy. I want to tell them to fuck off. I have. But they keep worrying. I wonder if this is how Beth felt.
On the page was a polaroid. A baby faced Simon with nasty scars on his face, still fresh and angry. He looked half dead. Dark circles under his eyes and an expression nothing like his usual. Someone had their hand on his shoulder, but he could only see their arm.
Soap sucked in a breath. There was no way Ghost gave this to him. No fucking way.
He got up and grabbed the book, going straight for Ghost's quarters, planning on returning it immediately and pretending he had found it and couldn't find Price to turn it in.
Ghost's quarters were empty. His knives were missing, but his clothes were still there, meaning he was on a mission.
Fuck.
Soap paused and tapped his foot. He wasn't sure if Price was around. How did someone get this? If he left it in his room, he was worried someone would find it. He'd have to keep it. Just to be sure.
Soap set it back on his desk. When he saw Price, he'd talk to him.
After a minute of staring at it, Soap shoved the book into a drawer and closed it tight. He left to talk to Gaz to distract himself for a few hours.
Gaz was nice enough to tell him that Ghost and Price were on a mission together and that they wouldn't be back for a few days.
No big deal.
A few days with a book that potentially had a lot of answers to some questions he had about Ghost.
Soap didn't make it the night before he was reading more pages. He never claimed to have great self control.
Good morning. I feel like a teen, writing in a diary. I've been put on new medication today. Supposed to help. It makes me dizzy for some reason.
My mum keeps making me tea. She wants to make sure I'm real. I see her hands hovering around me. If I wasn't such a shit son, I'd tell her she can hug me. The thought makes my skin crawl. I see her dead body in my dreams. I see the skull they said was hers. I want to tell her I'm okay, but I don't want to lie.
Soap felt sick. There was a drawing. It was crude, clearly done out of boredom and with no real care behind it. Soap was pretty sure it was a skull that was dripping something. Maybe blood. The ink was all black so there was no way to tell. "Mum" was written several times around it.
I dreamed about her again.
That caught Soap's attention. Her? Was Ghost into women? That seemed unlikely.
She used to speak so soothingly in spanish to me. I wonder if she was like me. Did Roba rape her too?
Soap shut the book and shoved it under his pillow. Enough of that. Nope. He didn't want to think of those words and what they meant.
Fucking too.
No.
No...
No!
The idea of something like that happening to his Lieutenant was... It just... didn't happen.
Soap pulled the book out and kept reading. Just... to prove it wasn't real.
I don't know. It's not a nice thought. Maybe I want someone else to hurt too. I tried to jack off the other day and ended up scrubbing myself raw afterward from how it made me feel. How pathetic right?
Not sure what this is doing. What benefit this has. I'm writing my thoughts. Trying to feel better. Tommy joked about me buying a hooker. I had a panic attack. it was like i was back in high school again. fucking baby.
There was a picture of someone, presumably Tommy, and Simon hanging out. They were both smoking and Tommy was making a sign with his hands. He had a giant grin on his face. Simon had a carved out Glasgow smile that looked like it hurt. Raw. it looked to be after the earlier polaroid. The dark circles hadn't gotten better, but there was more color and flesh in his face.
My mum wants me to talk to my dad. I don't know why. I don't know want to see him. Can't let him see me right now. Maybe when I'm recovered. Last time I saw him, I beat his ass. Doubt he's going to forgive me.
Bastard is pure evil. He gets off on hurting people. Got off on hurting me. I think he's trying to use the cancer as an excuse to get close to my mum again. I'll beat his ass again. I'm putting on more weight. I'll fucking do it.
There was a little stick man drawing labeled 'Simon' and 'Bitch' with Simon beating him to death. Soap thought the blood was rather well drawn, even if the stick figures wasn't.
As the week went on, he kept reading a few pages at a time. He learned... things.
Ghost liked Vanilla tea.
Ghost had been assaulted by more than one person.
Ghost's father had beaten him. A lot.
Ghost was scared of snakes.
Ghost loved his Mum.
Ghost hated most mystery movies.
Tommy was Ghost's brother and was the second most important in his life.
And that they were all dead. All of them.
He wrote an explanation of everything there. In a clinical, harsh detail.
I wish I had died down there in Mexico. I wish I had laid down in that grave and died. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault.
It kept repeating and then he had just started over and wrote over the first layer.
Soap was crying. He couldn't help it. Tommy was so... young. Not to mention the descriptions Ghost gave of his family in general. The pages after that were mostly drawings or scribbles, all made with heavy hands.
Simon knocked. He could tell by the sound he made when he knocked. "Johnny?"
"When did you get back?"
"...Just now. Can I come in?"
"Yeah." Soap wiped his face so he'd look... normal. "Yeah come in."
Ghost stepped inside and saw the book. "Enjoy it?"
"What?"
"I left it for you."
"Why?"
Ghost hummed. "Thought it would be the easiest way to let you in."
Soap swallowed. "You don't do anything half assed do you?"
Ghost's eyes stared at him. Answer enough right there.
#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#simon ghost riley#johnny soap mactavish#call of duty modern warfare ii#cod mw2#ghostsoap#cod#soapghost#ghoap
164 notes
·
View notes
Text
Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.2
The thing is Paul just physically can't say what he feels. It's just an impossibility for him. So if he says reading a negative article about himself “doesn't help” or “it's not good” but it “doesn't get home” I just assume he means ‘It hurts, but I can't think about that too hard or I'll go into a self-hate suicidal spiral again’.
I always love how Paul says Linda. “Linder is er, nature mad.”
She!!
Hearing Paul talk about watching Mary be born makes me wonder if John was there with Sean? Also I wonder if Linda would talk about the experience so glowingly. Probably. She's tough as nails. I had a lovely experience, personally, after the epidural lol
“Dear friend . . . I'm in love with a friend of mine.” This is such a strange and beautiful song. It's a man who has to apologize to his friend for falling in love with someone else. At least, that's my interpretation. What's everyone else's?
I understand why he's so closed off. I do. But when John is going off every five seconds, we're missing half the picture here and it's turning out warped. They really are such a good study of attachment honestly.
“Nothing will ever break the love we have for each other.” White-knuckling my way through this section with this quote clenched in my fist.
Yoko, talking about John fighting with Paul: any couple will go from swearing to kissing and it's like that. What favors are you doing yourself here, babe? Maybe John's the PR mastermind between the two of them.
I find John's comparison of working with his romantic partner to being ambidextrous very confusing. Does he mean just doing two things at once?
“If I can't have a fight with my best friend, I don't know who I can have a fight with.” -- Intro slutty gender-fluid Wings Paul my beloved -- “Tell me why, why, why do you treat me so bad? So bad? When you're the best friend a man ever had?” I heard on some podcast somewhere. Someone was going on about how forward-thinking the Beatles were to refer to the women in their songs as “friends”. And I was like, nununununu do not give them that credit.
This is just soooo. In this era? 90 minutes in the middle of a recording session?
John: Sorry, my estranged fiance is calling, gotta take a break. Guitarist: again? Drummer: how estranged can they be if they call every three minutes? Yoko: should we just record the other parts or . . . John: (receiver cradled to his cheek, lovesick grin on his face) Hey, how was Heather's school program? Haha, yeah, I bet she was.
Okay, so you've made up with Paul and now you're done being homophobic? *Cardi b voice* well that's suspicious.
The fact that John's asking Paul to play on stage with him in 1972?? Ugh! If it was just about legalities and money and shit I would be genuinely so pissed at Paul for not going. If only because Come Together sounds incredibly lame without his bass and piano. But also for the obvious fix-it reasons. I have to remind myself of how truly awful Klein was. By being the only one to stand firm against him, Paul actually ended up saving them all from a lot of trouble. But gosh would this have been good!
Things normal people say, for sure, for sure.
Okay in my head it went like this. John calls George and bitches about what an egomaniac Paul is because he won't do anything with him as long as Klein is involved. George gets off the phone and calls Ringo and they make a bet as to how long it is until John decides they should get rid of Klein.
“Where's your audience, Paul?” “In the theater, Dave.” As he should. The cuntiness is unparalleled. Yeah, maybe people like to see a family friendly eclectic magic pixie sexy hard rock floor show? Ever thought about that, Dave?
Anyway, he seems genuinely pissed when the interviewer even mentions the other Beatles and he refuses to even admit he still talks to any of them. Why?
John's just so benevolent and selfless. He's completely straight, of course, but he's always offering to do gay shit. You know. To be nice.
I forget that not only was May their literal employee, but she was ten years younger on top of that. And yet, she managed to do so much good in that relationship. I have so much respect for her.
There's obviously a lot going on behind the scenes that they don't say in interviews. Duh. But I wonder what it is that caused Paul to be so open and happy in this interview where he's asked about the other Beatles compared to before. I wonder if he and John had a really lovely talk, or if he's heard a demo of “I know, I know.” Or maybe it's just he's so reassured that they've got rid of Klein that he feels safe acting open to a reunion on record. Who knows, Yoko.
So so smart to pair “In My Life” handwritten lyrics with the matching lyrics of “I know I know” playing at the same time. I forget about that connection (“I love you more”) because it's so overshadowed by the “than yesterday” right after. I seriously wonder if John thought he was being so obvious with this one the way he was with HDYS and half hoped people would ask him if it was about Paul and he could make up for the whole thing. Because it's just so heavy-handed. It's beautiful. I love it. I'm sure Paul loved it. But yeah. John's just beating us over the head with the references here.
I also wonder (very tentatively!!!) if Paul was maybe a bit more emotionally vulnerable with John than we usually think. I would never think this except for the “you know I nearly broke down and cried” “I'm sorry that I made you cry” and “no more crying!” I don't know. What do we think?
His little baby smirk. It's so silly and cute. He's being very positive about getting back together, and the interviewer asks if John would initiate that. Just a very coy, “a, well, I couldn't say.” I wonder if at that point if he'd said on live tv that he wanted to get together again if it would've happened. Seems like it might have, but I understand him being scared.
Elton John taking pictures like a fan and John: I wanna impound all those photos till I get me green card. What a random idea for a commercial. I love it, obviously, it's hilarious. I wonder who thought of it.
This doc is so good at implication. The smirk as “loving in the palm of my hand” plays. That's not a reference to hand jobs, is it? Certainly not talking to someone with beautiful hands?
Everyone go look up Nineteen Hundred Eighty Five on YouTube. The singing sex is something else, yeah, but I'm always so blown away by the piano part. The fact that he's self taught and doesn't read music and this man will go on to compose symphonies.
#paul mccartney#the beatles#john lennon#mclennon#linda eastman#yoko ono#understanding lennon mccartney#ulm
146 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Patron Saint of One Way Trips
Ch15
Description: We catch Hassan - We meet Graves - Rudy is potential BFF material, Simon is resisting. Laika is exhausted and hurt.. we will see how she gets on at base in the next chapter!!
*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*
Sitting in the back seat of the car is uncomfortable. My body begins to seize up, cold, wet clothes not helping. I am cramping badly through my injured shoulder, I keep rolling it and shrugging it to try and keep movement while we are in the car. Obviously it has to be the shoulder that's closest to the Lieutenant so I try my best now to bother him but I can feel his side eye in my peripheral.
*Simon's POV*
The girl had been injured. No fuckin' wonder. She's vanished several times when shit's hit the fan. When we first entered the village with Alejandro, she followed us until the first shot was fired, then her scent disappeared, I had to concentrate on the job at hand but I was pissed off - I thought she had done a runner. Imagine my shock when we arrive to the house Alejandro knew Hassan had been in to find guards already dropped. Not only that, but there was obviously a bit of a struggle in the final room. The biggest guard had something over his face and had had his throat slit messily - that's when I see it. In his hand. Her fuckin' handkerchief that had caused so much trouble when she first arrived. She'd been here before us...
I keep this information to myself, quickly stuffing the hanky into my front chest pocket before anyone saw. If she had been here already, where the fuck was she now?!
I return to the conversation with Alejandro, trying to push aside my concern for the girl. Then she innocently pops her head round the doorway and Johnny swallows her lies hook, line and sinker.. I glance down and see that her knees are covered in blood - that would have happened during the struggle with the final guard. Stupid girl coming here alone. Could have come up here to find her dead.. taking stupid, needless risks would get her killed. And Hassan had already moved, so it was totally pointless..
During the chase with the Cartel controlled Army, I notice that she keeps holding her right shoulder - she's hurt. I keep an eye on her until she disappears again. I keep growling under my breath.. this girl is a fuckin' liability! I'd need to tell Price when I call him later on..
Johnny appears, a little behind the main group - he shouts to me asking where the girl is - I just shout that she will have to catch up. Then the whistle of a sniper bullet flies through the mountains towards us. I quickly clock it as friendly fire, due to an army troop falling forwards. She is flanking them from behind. I wasn't sure if that was clever or fuckin' stupid..
She will find herself facing friendly fire if she isn't careful..
She reunites with the group near the cliff - still favouring that damn shoulder. She screams in agony when Johnny catches her mid-jump. Johnny flinches at her reaction, he probably doesn't realise it yet but his inner-Alpha is clearly in turmoil due to her sharp "don't touch me" scream. He takes a few minutes to start smelling like normal Johnny again.
I guess I'm not in her good graces anyway, so when she hesitates and looks back toward the army when Alejandro jumps into the river, I act before she has chance to make yet another stupid decision - I throw her off of the cliff. Of course she can't fuckin' swim - my stomach sinks as I see her splash and struggle in the water. Thankfully I reach her and scoop her to the surface before handing her to Johnny to take care of. I feel the slightest bit of guilt but at the end of the day, I know Kyle and the Captain would not be happy if she ended up in a casket.
We squeeze into the car - all to close for comfort - especially fully kitted out with weapons and kit, not to mention being fuckin' soaked. The girl keeps rolling her shoulder, touching up against me in the process. I glance at her face, she keeps wincing but is obviously trying to be brave about it.
*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*
"You boys good to roll up on Hassan with some fire from the sky?" Its that chirpy American again. "Lets wrap this fucker up, Graves" Johnny replies aggressively. A shiver travels down my spine - the last time I'd seen Johnny so hot-headed, was when he captured me for the first time...
We arrive to the position and leap from the pick up truck. It's a bit daunting because it was now just the four of us - the others had extracted to re-join Rudy. I look to the sky and see the American's air support circling above the area. "Shadow-1 , we will mark our position with an IR Laser" - "Roger that, Lieutenant".
"Position marked - there are four of you? Over" the American voice asks. "Four, yes - over" Ghost responds.
I gulp, Ghost motions us forward - I can't hide or go on my own this time, knowing that I'm now at risk of being blown up from the air. My arm aches, but I push that to the back of my mind and tentatively raise my gun and stick close to Johnny. We spot a few armed men and a couple of incoming trucks. Gun fire erupts and I quickly return fire, dropping a couple of men. The car to my right explodes.
"Negative on Hassan" Ghost shouts after about fifteen minutes of fighting - "Copy, you have multiple vehicles approaching from the South - I need you to move North, NOW, Lieutenant!" Graves shouts over comms.
"Copy - moving" we head away from the buildings and once we are clear, fire rains from the sky. They completely flatten three buildings, debris flying everywhere. A small piece of wood slices the tiniest cut in my cheek and I wince at the initial sting. I reach up and touch it, it's barely a paper cut but it's bleeding like crazy. I ignore it - it doesn't hurt anyway.
We enter the main courtyard and Alejandro gets a visual on Hassan, he tries to flee but Johnny and Alejandro are on his tail.
The Lieutenant and I remain outside, guarding the entrance. I am beginning to get overwhelmed by the crashes of the air support. My head is pounding and the taste of blood from the small cut on my cheek isn't nice either. I try to gather my thoughts, desperate to finish and be able to have a hot bath..
"Target Secured!!!" Johnny shouts from inside the house, Ghost relays the message to Graves.
"Whats the status of your exfil?" the American asks. "two minutes out!" - "You've got a military convoy approaching the AO" - "They're with the cartel - free to engage!" Alejandro calls to Graves.
Rudy approaches in the black jeep and we all emerge from the house. Johnny has Hassan and shoves him in the back seats, sitting next to him to keep him quiet and make sure he doesn't try anything. Ghost roughly grabs my arm (the good arm luckily) and drags me to the rear door, opening to reveal bench style seats in the back of the jeep. He shoves me in and climbs in after me.
"Go Rodolfo - package secure. We are RTB" I furrow my brows, confused by all of the military jargon. We travel quickly away from the danger, dirt roads kicking up dust in our wake. Rodolfo comes to a sudden halt. We look around before Graves' voice cuts through on comms again "what's the hold up..?"
"Shadow-1, there's movement at the fuel station ahead.. possible Cartel" - "Copy, we'll recon the area - be prepared to move.." Graves replies to Alejandro.
I whine to myself and squeeze my eyes tightly closed, trying to get myself into the correct head space again. We wait, stationary, in the car for a couple of minutes before Graves tells us to move. Apparently there were no threats in the area.. my eyes remain trained on the men at the gas station up ahead. As we approach the gas station a man starts to cross the road. "Rudy! Drive!!" I shout, shocking everyone in the car - it's the first words I openly speak to the entire group. It's too late though. I'd noticed the parked car, revving up too late. We reach a junction and get slammed into by another car, purposely flipping our vehicle.
I grunt with the impact, I'd been unbelted in the back so when the car had flipped and landed on the roof, I'd been thrown backwards and hit the roof, hard - on my already sore shoulder.
As soon as I get my bearings and manage to open the door, I see Cartel men climbing from the car that they'd crashed into us. I then hear bullets rain from above again, far too close for comfort. The lieutenant sees how close I am to being hit and barks down his radio "SHADOW-1, CHECK FIRE _ CHECK FIRE".
I manage to crawl from the upturned car, holding my shoulder. Fucking hell.. why did I agree to this..?
Alejandro leads everyone to a secure building and instructs his Omega to call for helicopter extraction. Fucking finally!
I hide behind a counter in the building. It looks like some sort of restaurant. I close my eyes and collect myself before Johnny slides beside me with the hostage. He smiles at me as if to apologise for hurting my arm earlier and check if I was holding up.. its amazing how he can convey so much with just a simple look..
Hassan then turns his head to face me and sneers at me. "Didn't realise they use little bitches in the military now, huh?" he taunts. I look away, disgusted. Johnny roughly shuts him up by headbutting him. "You fuckin' shut it, pal!" he barks, bits of spit flying from his mouth in his rage. I try to shuffle away but Johnny reaches my hand and squeezes it softly "Don't listen to him, Lass.."
All of a sudden the heavens open. The Shadows must be flattening the place. There are shouts and orders coming through over comms and then Graves addresses us for the first time in a while instead of his own men. "They're sending everyone they've got - but your exfil is here. If you can make it to the football pitch, east as you leave the building, you'll be extracted. We will cover from the air..over!" He shouts over the crashing and bangs of explosions and screaming.
I take a deep breath and stand, following Rodolfo. "You better fuckin' cover us, Shadows.. We've burnt through ammo - not got much left.." the Lieutenant growls down the radio.
"We'll do what we can. They're sending fuckin' missiles back to us - so hurry your asses up!" the thick southern drawl shouts.
"Argh!" Rudy shouts "I'm down to two mags.. not enough" I tap him on the shoulder and offer him my Assault Rifle, wordlessly. He looks down at me confused but I old up my knife and smaller pistol as if to say 'I've got plenty'. He takes the gun from me with a quick nod.
*Rudy's POV*
I feel a tap on my shoulder. It's the Garrick girl. She holds her gun out to me, obviously hearing that I hadn't got much ammo left. She wants me to take her gun..? I must look confused because she then removes a pistol and knife from her belt and thigh holster. At least she won't be unarmed.. I take the gun with a thankful nod.
I neglect to comment on the fact that the knife was covered in fresh blood. It was still red, yet as far as I'm aware, we hadn't come close enough for any knife fights.
Strange girl... I'm not sure if I'm imagining it but I think I catch a faint scent of honey and.. oranges..? Omega, like me....???
Laika's (Y/N's) POV*
We leave the building and arrive to utter chaos outside. Fire, debris and men who had been blown to pieces. I try not to look. I just follow the others towards the sound of the helicopter blades.
I make it to the helicopter, the journey here had been a total blur. I'd taken a bullet graze to the leg, but it was just a small wound. It hardly makes a difference to my utterly exhausted body. Alejandro is first to the chopper, escorting everyone inside. He pats Rudy twice on the back as he steps in. I'm last to make it and he pushes me towards Ghost. I stumble on the ramp and put my arms out to save my fall when I'm caught by two strong arms. The lieutenant. "Watch it, girl.." I glance up at him, embarrassed, and quickly shuffle to sit on the opposite side, furthest from everyone, but only a seat away from Rudy.
"Vamos! Go Now!!" Alejandro roars to the pilot. We lift off and head to safety. I shut my eyes and exhale, trying to release all of the pent up tension in my body.
We fly for what seems like ages. I manage to fall into a peaceful state which I would count as rest but it wasn't really. More like sheer exhaustion. We land in the middle of the desert, it seems. I look at the others, confused.. "Time to meet Phillip Graves.." the Lieutenant grumbles, standing and opening the helicopter ramp..
It's dark out, a circle is lit by the car headlights that are already waiting for our arrival.
Johnny drags Hassan out with a sack over his head that he had put on him when he called me a bitch.
"Oan your knees!" Johnny slams him roughly to the ground. A blonde man steps forward from one of the cars and opens a computer. "Y'all got a clear picture?" he says in a familiar voice. Graves. It was Graves. He was an Alpha.. He smells of bourbon and spices.. it isn't an unpleasant scent but it's too sharp for my taste..
I then hear an older man's voice and a woman, who I think to be Laswell, reply over the laptop speakers. What am I witnessing here...? Are they about to torture him..?
I whimper slightly, under my breath and the American looks up at me, meeting my eyes. I stand, nervously on the top of the helicopter ramp.
Graves chuckles and introduces himself to the team, shaking everyone's hands as they are down on the ground. I am the only one still on the chopper. He directs his attention towards me.. I watch him nervously.
"So, sweetheart, you must be the number four I spotted from the TV-visuals up in the air.. I was advised that there was only the lieutenant and sergeant joinin’ us on this mission.."
"Last minute change of plans, Graves!" Laswell answers on my behalf. Graves doesn't take his eyes off of me.
The Lieutenant interrupts, clearly wanting to get on with the interrogation. I silently thank him for that, even though I know he didn't do it for my benefit.
Graves slowly shifts his gaze away from me and as soon as he does, I feel safer - more relaxed. God, he is intense..
Rudy walks back towards the helicopter and stops at the bottom of the ramp. I try to keep my eyes on Hassan, to make it look like I'm concentrating.
Hassan speaks up first "Do you speak Arabic?" he asks Graves, who crosses his arms with an obnoxious smile on his face.
"Nope!" he says, cheerfully, clearly trying to piss Hassan off.
"Farsi?" Hassan tries.
Graves looks skywards as if he is sarcastically thinking.. "No!" - what a cocky arsehole!!
"Course not" Hassan answers "Then I'll have to speak your bastardised medieval English because you're all uneducated streetdogs!" He snaps, looking around the group.
His eyes settle on me when he says 'streetdogs'. My body tenses and I gulp. He has a knowing look in his eyes.. Does he..? - he couldn't possibly...
I turn sharply and walk back into the hold of the helicopter. He smirks and laughs once before turning back to face Graves. I sit with my head resting in my hands.
I try not to break down. I'm almost at the point of tears when I feel a calming presence appear next to me. I glance out of the corner of my eye. It's Rudy.
"We will leave the mean stuff to the Alpha's huh?" He says with a friendly, gentle tone.
I sob a laugh, slightly turning toward him.
"Why are you upset..?" He asks with furrowed brows.
"I - I'm not cut out for all of this..." I whimper, in reply.
"I'd say you did a pretty good job today, Amorcito, no?"
I shake my head "I was a - a liability.."
"No no, you weren't.. you're very brave.. I know I wasn't there for some of it.. but I notice you've used your knife..brave girl.. I try not to get close enough.. or they smell me.."
"Oh.. I didn't use - I don't know..." - "You don't have to lie around me, Amorcito, please..?"
"That's.. that's not my name.. I'm - I'm Y/N.. or Laika.." I sniffle
"I know, it isn't your name" he chuckles softly back.
"Hey, look.. look at me Amorcito" I look up at him. "You've done a great job today. Come with me.. we will get cleaned up.. leave them to interrogate the terrorist.." he offers me a hand and pulls me from my chair with my good arm.
I walk with him to the back of the helicopter where he gathers a medical kit. He takes some wipes and antiseptic gel. He starts by gently wiping the small cut on my cheek. "Air support is messy, no? Glass and wood flying everywhere.. Alejo told me to keep an eye on you. I'm sure he thinks you are called Garrick.." He chuckles.
I blush and look down at the floor. "I - I'm not.." - "Is Garrick the name of your Alpha..?" He asks.. I freeze.
"Oh.. no-NO .. I don't.. I'm not.." - "Not what, Amorcito..?" he looks confused by all of my stuttering.
"Not presented. I'm a - I'm a stray they took in. They don't really want me here.. Laswell just told them to babysit me..." I dump on him.
He looks at me as if he doesn't believe me "Now, I'm sure that's not true.. I - I can tell your two Alpha's out there are fond of you. Even the Ghost..."
"He- He hates me, Rodolfo.. you've not seen.." - "Rudy, please.. and I've seen plenty to know what I see.. please.. join Alejo and I for dinner tonight. I will show you to your room. The base is going to be busier than usual - we have the Shadows and yourselves staying.."
I gulp. "I - I don't sleep well" - "Don't worry about that.. your Captain called ahead. We have organised everything so it's as comfortable as possible for you, Amorcito".
He gently taps me on the calf, just below where I'd been grazed by the bullet. "That's you cleaned. No infections hopefully, lets go sit down.."
I hadn't even realised that he had been cleaning the wound on my leg. I smile and wince as I stand, using my bad arm to push myself up.
"Oh, and take this for the shoulder. Hopefully just deep bruising..."
I nod and smile at him. He smiles fondly back when he sees that I'm more comfortable around him.
We sit back in the main hold together, Rudy directly next to me this time.
I yawn and he chuckles. "Tired, Amorcito?" - "A little bit, yeah.."
He tells me to rest my eyes and I do, the interrogation is still ongoing outside, it's just quiet back ground noise from where we are sitting though.
*Johnny's POV*
This Hassan dick! We had to let the Prick go!! Apparently not enough to hold him on.. what the FUCK!! I can feel my hot headed temper flaring as we walk back to the chopper. Simon clasps me by the shoulder before stepping onto the ramp. "Quiet Johnny, I'm pissed off too, but -" he nods towards Laika..she is fast asleep on Rudy's shoulder.
My temper dampens a little bit but I am still fuckin' raging.
I sit across from Rudy and Laika and watch her fondly. I was a little surprised that Simon had told me to calm down. I wouldn't have thought he would give a shit if I had woke her up or not.
Alejandro pipes up quietly from his spot beside Rudy. "You've made a new friend, Cariño?" Rudy chuckles and nods gently. "What did she say..?" he asks.. "Nothing much, alpha - she is a nervous, shy little thing.." he says smiling down at my the girl fondly..
My Alpha feels like growling at Rudy.. but I manage to hold it in. He is an Omega, after all. And she looks so relaxed for once.
Alejandro chuckles and raises an eyebrow at Rodolfo "If you take her under your wing, Cariño, we could keep her.." he jokes, kissing Rudy on the cheek before standing and heading towards the pilot.
Simon growls at that.. I look over, shocked that he had been listening and that he seemed to care...
Laika stirs and blinks her eyes open, seeing that we are back on the chopper and in the air. Her eyes flash to a growling Ghost. Not helpful.. She whines and backs away slightly, apologising to Rudy.
*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*
Darkness and calm took over. I was comfortable and surrounded by a soft, calming scent. I am disrupted by a fiery smell and the low sound of a growl. I blink away the peaceful sleep I'd been having and meet eyes with the Lieutenant. My mind immediately flashes back to Hassan calling me 'streetdog'... what had he told them?? Was Ghost going to kill me??
I scramble backwards away from Rudy and away from the growling. Johnny leaps forward and catches me before I fall off of the seat. As soon as I am in Johnny's arms, the growling stops. I'm shaking like a leaf and Johnny gently shushes me and strokes my hair as I rest against his chest. He sits down with me practically in his lap.
*Rudy's POV*
I am shocked.. the poor girl is terrified by Ghost. I understand now what she means. But she has got it all wrong. The Lieutenant was only marking his territory. Alejo has always been a flirt. He is a fiery, hot-blooded Alpha. His comment was a little joke, but the Lieutenant didn't seem to like it one bit. I sit quietly, allowing the pair of Alphas to settle before standing up and walking towards Ghost. The Omega in me is brave now, having spent many years in the military and standing up to Alphas, but I still feel like I'm fighting instincts when I stand face to face with an angry Alpha.
The massive, angry Alpha stares down at me. I know he isn't angry with me, so I proceed.
"Lieutenant.." I whisper.
"What!" he growls back.. this might not go down well..
"The girl.. what is she to you and your pack?" I ask, gently. "She ain't pack..." He growls again.
"She smells like pack.. She is wearing Garrick's, whoever that is, jumper.." I accuse with an eyebrow raised.
"She ain't-" I sniff the air, interrupting him, "Even you, lieutenant - you smell of her.. she has a faint smell.. but I can smell it on you...why is that..?"
He huffs under his breath. "I don't know and I don't care.." He is resisting - not good with words.. got it..
"So, you won't mind if she stays with Alejo and I while you are here in Las Almas?" I taunt, gently.
He growls again. "Your Captain requested safe, secure sleeping quarters. No un-mated Alphas.. we will keep her safe.." I raise my eyebrow.
"That's what Johnny and I are here for" he barks at me.
"For what..? I don't follow?" I act, trying to get him to say something more.
"The girl shares with Johnny and I, that's final". I smirk.
"Suit yourself, Lieutenant. You may wish to apologise and treat her a little more softly if you wish to spend the night with her.." I tease, walking to Alejo before he grabs me when he realises I'd backed him into a corner. Alphas can be so stupid when they are pining after Omegas...
*Ghost's POV*
Fuckin' stupid Alpha.. you'd fallen for Rudy's little ploy.. Thinkin' with your fuckin' Alpha brain again. Possessive, protective, selfish shitbag!
We touchdown at the Vaqueros' base and I glance to Johnny. The girl was curled up in his lap. Does she know that she is scenting him..? Her nose is stuffed right in the crook between his shoulder and neck, where his scent glands are. Johnny just grins at me as if he had won the fuckin' lottery, puttin' his thumbs up and everything.
Fuckin' hell - the quicker this mission is over, the better...
#abo dynamics#john mctavish x reader#john price x reader#john soap mactavish#kyle garrick x reader#omega reader#poly 141#simon riley x reader#task force x reader#kyle gaz garrick
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yandere Blade Part2
Don't know why but I feel like Blade would call the reader "fool" (affectionate) like as a petname? Like not degradingly but just Blade is kinda shit at expressing himself (aside from expressing pain) so a lot of the time reader doesn't pick up hints and he's like 'tsk fool...'
But like you're his fool so it's okay. Around anyone else you're not allowed to do such foolish things, what if they take advantage of you? Assuming you're around anyone else alone which is near impossible.
Also reader being like "I want you to die, I'll find a way to kill you." as if it's romantic and Blade being like half flustered half frustrated cause like he wants to die but no way in hell is he leaving you on your own or killing you. And bro's just like "You fool >:(" and reader is like ??? how tf do I read your mind.
Part 1 you don't have to read it if you don't want to but you can :)
TW: Yandere, Violence, Kidnapping
After you left he appeared in your dreams. It was strange, if anything you'd expect it to be a welcoming presence, memories of the past gone by. Yet instead all you could see where hate fueled eyes and his arm twitching struggling to resist the urge to raise his blade. If you were him you'd hate yourself too.
You'd been gone for a while, you were sure the medicine must've run out. You'd spent your time researching the Borisin, another creature "blessed" by Yaoshi. They had incredible healing ability yet could still die, and you didn't see any effects of mara. You'd managed to get aboard one of their ships and while you would've loved the opportunity to research them further and learn about the Abundance's effect on them, you couldn't.
The Borisin weren't well known for being kind, they valued strength above all and preyed on the weak. You were lucky for still being alive on their ship. Although, you were prison you'd learned a bit from observation and your cellmate, curiously enough another person interested in mara. They knew more about it than you.
You couldn't tell their gender, a ragged brown cloak covered them near completely aside from their porcelain pale legs and long blonde hair. They spoke of research projects you'd never heard of, of how livers were where mara gathered in both Foxian and Borisins, and how death of these long life species would come suddenly. When their cells suddenly stopped multiplying.
If you took out Blade's liver would he die? He would be in pain, agonizing pain if it didn't work. Would it even grow back? At this point you were too scared to try anything, in case of another failure. But you had to kill Blade. Maybe you didn't have it in you but you had to for his sake.
"I must wonder..." The voice drawled, a rather raspy quality to it, "Do you hate the Abundance?"
You looked over at the hooded figure, your back pressed against the cool wall of your cell, "Can't hate someone I don't know," You replied, a slight frown on their face, "But I do hate the number of lives they've ruined, even if they meant to save those people, you think by now they would've learned they hurt more than they help."
You'd seen it time and time again, a person lost to mara, set to forget everything in their life and turn on those they love lost in a sea of pain and hate. Getting to know Blade just made you hate it more.
"Didn't they save those lives first? Do you not need to continue helping just to find a way to help without hurting? Surely, in the end all the pain will be worth it." The person spoke slowly, leaning closer to you but not close enough you could see beneath their hood.
"I'd rather die young than lose myself completely," It was personal preference, "Maybe they did, but even if their immortality came without the cost of sanity, it has a cost of its own." You heard footsteps growing louder in between your words, "Sometimes we're too short sighted for our own good." You wished you'd stayed on the Xianzhou Luofu.
You could've told Blade that you couldn't do it, you could've begged him to stay by you anyway. You could've found a way that didn't involve death. But you would be a fool to think there was a cure for mara where the mara struck didn't die. You weren't that dumb. It would've all been empty promises, you would've wasted your life looking for a cure knowing you would never find one. On the other hand there had to be a way to kill Blade.
The stranger let out a sigh, and the footsteps stopped, a shadow hanging over you. One of the guards had come, you weren't sure for what. Perhaps, now that they knew they could kill you without any repercussions they'd come to do that. Yet as you strode out of the cell calmly, following the wolfish person, death never came. You were left to wonder what would have happened if their head hadn't been sliced messily off their body.
It took a moment for you to register it, the warm blood splattered on your clothes, staining them. The scent laid thick in the air and yet you were unaware of who the assailant was. You'd seen a brisk dark figure in the shadows only a moment before it'd happened.
Arms wrapped around your body, holding it uncomfortably tight. Normally, you would've fought back and called the person a creep but you knew who this was. Beneath all the blood was the faint scent of spider lilies. His arms remained still around you, refusing to budge in the slightest. You reached up and went to pull one of his arms down by his forearm but his other hand caught yours and held it tight against his blood soaked sleeve.
"At least let me go so I can see you," Your voice was gentle, and a small smile rested on your lips. Was it bad to say you were happy to see him again? He was wanted, for good reason too. But since when did emotions listen to ethics?
"No..." Blade's voice was a weird mix of pain and relief, both strained yet as he approached the end of the words he spoke he sounded more euphoric, arms quivering as they held you, "You would just leave again."
You chuckled, you weren't sure if it was out of sorrow or amusement, "You came." You didn't expect him to. "Do you really think I can kill you?"
You didn't get an answer at first instead feeling your cloak brushed to the side, your neck being left exposed. It wasn't pretty, you'd been in a prison cell for how long now? They didn't treat you well either. Not much food or water much less the opportunity to bathe. You'd offered your food to your cellmate but they declined, claiming their kind didn't need to eat as often. Instead you often received the rations for both of you, guilt settled in your gut at the thought.
You weren't sure what was going to happen now. If Blade killed you, would your cellmate at least be able to live or would he get overtaken by mara and go on a murderous rampage? Mara tended to become more unstable when emotions became more unstable.
Teeth pierced your skin and you let out a yelp, tightening your hand around Blade's forearm, and clenching the other one in a fist. "What are you? A dog?" You barked out, you had thought he'd resembled one before... but biting you like this? Wasn't that too much? It wasn't as painful as you'd expect it to be.
Once he'd managed to get his teeth into your skin, he stilled as if satisfied. His arms and mouth latched onto you like a terrified child scared to leave their parent. He wasn't planning to murder you, that was a plus. But for some reason it only made you feel more guilty. Guilty for leaving him, you should've told him. If you did then you would've wanted to stay.
This was for his own benefit, right? You could find a way to relieve him from this pain, right? But even if you did would you be able to kill him? "You shouldn't bite me," You chided him, moving your free hand uncomfortably over your shoulder to nudge at his head, hair brushing up against your hand. It felt rougher than usual.
At him remaining still you spoke again, "Seriously, for your own good, I'm dirty right now." You let out a sigh, pushing your hand against his head right now. He let go, moving his head back slowly and then rested it on your other shoulder, tilting his head toward you.
There was a dull ache where he'd bitten, slowly disappearing as heat took its place. You were probably bleeding.
"I don't know," Blade suddenly spoke voice scratchy and your eyes furrowed at his words. "Stay... you should stay. If you can't kill me. Stay."
"You're upset at me leaving..." You mused, he had mentioned it earlier but you'd just assumed it was because he thought you'd given up on killing him and ran.
You heard footsteps in the distance and jolted up a bit. The Borisins could smell blood, couldn't they? One of their canine characteristics. "I suppose we should be heading out then," You chuckled, yet couldn't help but be on edge your shoulders tensed even as you remained in Blade's arms. "Wouldn't want unwelcomed company to interrupt our welcome."
You felt him sigh, hot breath hitting your neck. Yet he didn't move at all, "...Blade?" Was he just going to wait for them to come and slaughter you both? Well, you suppose he'd live. But the pain of having his body ripped apart would last in his mind. How had he ever managed to stay sane?
Right, he wasn't sane. "Are you going to run away again?" Blade's voice echoed against your ear, and your smile twitched in response.
"If I die then I'll be leaving too, from a place I can never return from," You replied mock cheer in your voice. He stiffened for a moment before instantly relaxing despite the footsteps getting louder.
"I wish you would wield me as the blade I am," He muttered voice gruff and you vaguely remembered when you'd had him kill mara struck for you. It hadn't been pleasant. But if you'd found a way to kill him it would've all been worth it.
You felt your anxiety begin to rise as the footsteps only came closer and closer, you decided this misunderstanding had gone on long enough, "Look, I left because I wanted to help you," You explained, cringing at the weakness in your voice, "I am going to find a way to kill you Blade," you promised despite the sinking feeling in your heart.
You knew at this point you were just lying. Even if you found out how to kill him you wouldn't be able to. You felt his body to begin to shake before you heard it, the sudden laughter. As if all in life was futile. It chilled you to the bone, it sounded like a mad man losing his last bit of sanity becoming hysterical. At the sound of Blade's laugh the footsteps began to speed up having a clear source of the intruder.
...Was he going to kill you? You really thought he wouldn't, given that he'd bothered to keep you alive this long. He stopped in his laughter stilling, and in a strangely affectionate tone said, "Fool."
His hand reached up to the side of your jaw and--
You supposed being knocked out was better than being killed. It really could be worse. The bed you were on was also surprisingly comfortable, would it be more comfortable if you weren't being clutched against a nice firm chest that was probably Blade's? Well, the hug was pretty comfortable so you were going to say no.
"You're awake." Blade's voice sounded rather hoarse. Had he not slept at all? Now that you were thinking of it, you'd never seen Blade asleep aside from when your medications made him do so.
You attempted to turn around to face him but the second you began to move your body his grip tightened, "Good morning," You laughed nervously at his actions. You were both happy and perturbed to find that you'd been bathed and your clothes had been changed.
"Stay."
It sounded like a command yet you could feel the desperation from the way he gripped your arms in the hug.
"You... fell in love with me at first sight," He still remembers that bullshit you made up to get him to stay?! "So stay..." His voice broke a bit at the last word, cracking.
You felt him dive his head into your neck. Pressing his forehead against your skin as if he was performing worshipping. Then relishing in the feeling of his skin against yours as if any crumb of physical affection gave him held the same meaning as giving a starving man food.
You did love him, and you wouldn't be surprised if you continued to do so for the rest of your life. Blade may be-- Blade definitely is a terrible person in some capacity but you couldn't help who you loved right? Plus, it wasn't like you were a saint either. You cared for life and you wanted it to thrive, yes. But, if a few individuals suffered for the greater good you wouldn't complain. If some had to die for the whole Xianzhou Luofu to overcome mara, wouldn't it be worth the price?
[A quick note, in actual research please be ethical. This reader is and should in no way be a role model for real life. If you consider doing unethical research please reach out to someone.]
When it came to people you loved, you'd be willing to bend your morals. You knew it wasn't right but, love is a very dangerous beast. "I'm doing this because I love you," You stated and you felt his hair brush against your neck, his nose met your jaw, his face continuing further until the two of your faces were side by side.
"Fool." His breath was warm against your cheek and you felt your face warm.
"Didn't you want to die?" You retorted, feeling grievance come into your voice. You were doing this for him.
Blade's lips pressed chastely against your cheek, the corners of his lips slightly uplifted. Then he bit, much more gentle than he did before, it was akin to how he bit you the night before you left. When he'd been struggling with his mara, and looked at you with those panicked eyes. All you did was turn and walk away.
Still... "What are you, a dog?" You teased him, not bothering in moving. It didn't really hurt.
You weren't sure if you'd be able to move anyway. One of his arms had moved in front of you, gripping down on the bedsheet, allowing him to shift the majority of his body weight over you. He moved his head up from your cheek and stared down at you, your eyes meeting his eyes. Their colors were similar to that of a fire's but they'd never been calmer, a look of devotion in them.
"Do you want me to be?" Blade shifted his weight, sitting more upright, keeping your legs in between his. He grabbed your hand and began to lay gentle kisses on your hand moving upward to your wrist and then forearm as you stared at him dumb struck.
You took the opportunity of his weight being off you to grab his jaw and tilt it toward you, "Of course not." You glared at him and pulled his face close enough so you could kiss him.
It was like water breaking through a dam, his reaction was immediate. He responded desperately, kissing back with rushed fervor albeit clumsily. His lips pressed against yours, yet his tongue was trying to get in on the action, flicking against your lips and leaving them wet. It was as if he'd die if you left.
It didn't move much further as Blade moved away for a moment to speak, he stared into your eyes something that could be considered deeply romantic if not for his next words, "Don't run away or I'll kill everyone."
"...You're ruining the mood," You muttered, feeling bristly hair against your palm as you pulled his head closer to yours lest he ruin the mood with another comment. You'd talk to him about finding a way to kill him later, but if you brought it up now you were pretty sure a massacre would happen.
"Fool..." Affection laced Blade's voice as you pulled him in for another kiss. You suppose you didn't mind being called a fool, so long as you were his fool.
AND THAT'S A WRAP for this little story, if you want idk spin offs or like little snippets of life (like an epilogue on cuddling or jealousy or whatever) send in an ask or something i'm always happy to write!
Anyway GUYS DOES BLADE SLEEP? genuine question.
Also you know how in like some yandere fics they restrain the reader with restraints? Yeah Blade is the restraints. He's also the weapon. Bro is everything in one. and like ugh writing kiss scenes i feel so awkward, my end goal for this year in writing is to write like a nsfw scene (not on this account will prob make a separate one) to like really challenge myself but i dont think itll be possible
Anyway on a bit of a more serious note, I love yandere as much as the next person IN FICTION. Please be sure not to romanticize these troupes in real life because your life can get fucked over very easily by people who resemble yanderes.
Let's enjoy ourselves IN FICTION please :) so I can keep writing this without having made someone romanticize a troupe that is dangerous in real life.
#Blade has a tendency to appear in people's dreams#aeons can take human forms#hsr#yandere hsr x reader#yandere blade x reader#yandere blade#blade#blade x reader#reader insert#gn reader#desperate blade#clingy yandere
143 notes
·
View notes
Note
Okay okay, I’d like to preface this by saying that I’m already deeply ashamed and embarrassed of myself for my behaviour and all, so if you think I don’t feel guilty and am bandwagoning, I’m not, I’m genuinely upset about what I did and there’s no one who could possibly hate myself more than me. And also, I’m not Jewish myself, but you could probably tell by what I’m about to say next.
So I was one of the many people who was a radical supporter of whatever has become of the pro Palestine movement (yes, I know, embarrassing behaviour) and I was perpetuating a lot of antisemitic things and would get super defensive about it because I truly didn’t think that what I was saying and/or doing was antisemitism and I also thought that I was genuinely helping people by being so… radical about things. A few months ago, I took a break from social media and on that break I sort of realised how much I don’t know about the harmful radical movement I was supporting and the Jewish and Israeli people that I was actually hurting by not listening to, and I truly am sorry and I do wish to become an ally, a good ally at that, but I do wonder if I’ve done too much damage already, I probably have. So yeah, I guess I was just wondering how I could possibly do better. I probably shouldn’t even be asking you this, you can totally block me if you want, I swear I’m not trolling or anything, but yeahhhh
The best thing that you can do for yourself and your community is to be honest about your perspective! How it happened, how you got radicalized, the things you said and why you said them. Some people won't be ready to forgive you and that's ultimately their prerogative. But people like you are the reason I am here, because I believe it is possible to form a bridge between our people and find a way to dialogue and call people back in from the extremism they've been indoctrinated into.
I'm fairly open about my history on here, but when I was a child I got indoctrinated into a violent gang. I adopted a lot of extreme beliefs and engaged in horrible, violent acts both under duress and of my own volition. So when I talk about indoctrination I am talking about something I have personal experience with. The people who I victimized to this day probably still have legitimate hate for me, and that's their right. I don't need to convince them I'm a good person or a changed person or whatever, you can't really undo harm or make up for harm like that, that's not how it works.
Once you put that out there, that's it. But at the same time, kind acts and good acts stand on their own, too. So I try and do outreach like this, to share my perspectives, to educate people on how extremism and radicalism and appetitive aggression work because I can't fix what I broke. All I can do is serve as a warning beacon for others going down a bad path, and I don't have any ability to know if that makes me a cosmically good or bad person.
Baruch dayen ha'emet. It's what we say when people die: G-d is the true judge. Only G-d knows those answers and I just have to have faith that G-d will judge me with compassion and understanding, and allow me to state my case. It's an ongoing conversation, you aren't ever just one thing or another thing. You grow, and learn, and that slowly changes the landscape.
I hope this helps in some manner! And I appreciate you sending this, we need to keep these avenues open, we have to build these bridges or else nothing will change. It's that simple.
#weemie#politics#jumblr#israel#palestine#antisemitism#i/p#gaza#leftist antisemitism#ask#indoctrination#leftist extremism#hamas propaganda#hamas#propaganda#extremism#bite model#ocd#moral injury#moral ocd
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Make Your Move - Chapter 5
Noah Sebastian x Reader x Matt Dierkes
A/N: I would love to hear your feelings about how this fic is going, especially after this chapter. Feel free to leave a reply, reblog, or ask. Enjoy!
Fic Summary: Find in Fic Masterlist
Content and Warnings for Ch. 5: Pining, arguing/yelling/hurt, some suggestive content, Matt and Noah's POVs included
Word Count: 3.5k
Tag List: @xxkittenkissesxx @exitwoundsx @jilliemiw86 @abiomens @lma1986
@flowery-mess @doomhands-jr @rain-down-on-me @justdamnpeachy @thatchickwiththecamera @narcissisticbehavior81
@xcllnt
TWO DAYS LATER
MATT’S POV
The image of her and him alone on the bus. I’ve been trying to rid myself of that for the past two nights while lying awake. I never opened the door to see them there, but I could just imagine it. Y/N sat closely on Noah’s side, with his guitar in hand, and him singing softly to her as she sways her body.
The morning after, Y/N was excited and came to me to tell me about her date. She described her outfit, the museum, what they did, that they talked about her homesickness when they came home, and she even showed me some of the pictures they took.
There was one that’s been making me reek of jealousy. I remember when she was scrolling over the photos and came across it, she passed over it quickly and wouldn't make eye contact with me. It was a photo of her kissing Noah’s cheek in front of artwork; he was tomato red.
Even with everything she said, she didn't tell me he sang to her that night. Shamefully, it makes me believe she left out other details. Why would she? I told her she could pursue Noah, so she didn't have to save my feelings. Nevertheless, I still want to know if she didn't tell me that he kissed her lips.
The song choice itself has me consumed with bitterness. As I heard Noah sing that he could be the one to be there for her, I couldn't help but think that should be me. It should be. I’m her best friend. I knew her before him and I introduced them. He wouldn't ever have been graced by her if it weren't for me.
Shit, calm down. They're your friends.
While Y/N told me about her date, I was good. I listened actively: nodded my head, smiled, and laughed for her. For the majority of the time, I was being genuine. I loved to see her so excited about something and to see her toothy smile; subconsciously I’m thankful to Noah for making her feel this way.
However, I can't lie to myself anymore. The past two days have exacerbated my feelings for her as I’ve had to watch Noah and Y/N become closer. I’m beginning to regret my decision to let her follow her feelings for him. They flirt and touch each other playfully now. She’s chosen to sit by him at dinner over me and I’ve had to watch her hold his hand while they talk.
What will happen in a couple of days when we’re in Nashville? We’re spending three nights there; two nights in a hotel which Y/N was ever so excited for so that she could “blow off some steam”. Would they share a bed? Would they ask me to book a separate room for just them?
I’ve realized I don't want her just to be my friend. I need to say something.
—
READER’S POV
The past two days have felt freeing and surreal. Your stomach has not stopped doing flips since Noah and you went on your date and your face still tingles at him wiping your tears away with his thumb after singing to you that night.
In the past, you’ve held your cards to your chest, like with Matt to not tell him how you feel. Now that you have followed your heart, it is paying off. A part of you wonders what would have happened if you leaped to share your feelings with Matthew. Would you also get to hold his hand? Flirt with him back and not feel embarrassed? Would he touch you without making it a joke?
Remorsefully, a frown falls on your face. How could you still think about Matt when Noah was giving you so much attention?
Yet, how could you not?
After a year of knowing Matt, and pining after him, you can't just forget about how he makes you feel. How handsome he is, how he makes you laugh, how his aspirations make your heart flutter, his love for his dogs… everything about him. All of your thoughts were consumed by him until you got closer to Noah.
Fuck.
You got down from your bunk and put on your slippers before stepping into the front of the bus.
Folio’s in his usual spot by the window at the dining table. “Good morning, Y/N.”
“Morning,” you yawn. “Where’s everybody?”
“Nick’s still asleep in the back. Noah and Matt are out on a run,” he points his thumb towards the door.
“Interesting,” you grab things for cereal from the kitchenette and take a seat with Folio.
“Yup,” he nods. “How’s everything going with them?”
You sigh while making your bowl of cereal. “Noah and I are having fun, honestly. I was just thinking about Matt though. Something about me wishes I waited to decide what’s best for me, but he insists that it’s ok for me and Noah to do our thing,” you talk with your mouth full of Cheerios. “Matt said he didn't hear me tell you I had a crush on him, by the way.”
“He told you that?” Folio furrows his brow. “I don’t know why he’s still denying it. He’s known for some time.”
Your eyes snap open and your spoon falls into the bowl. “What do you mean, ‘He’s known for some time.’?”
“Y/N, I should have told you,” Folio lowers his voice apologetically.
“Folio, what do you mean?” You stress with hurt in your voice.
Folio sighs. “Around a month after we met you, Jolly and I had begun to notice that you and Matt were closer than we had anticipated. Jolly caught on to how you acted when Matt was around and us being protective of you… We told Matt about our observations and to be careful. We both didn’t want you to feel pressured to perform a certain way as Matt’s new assistant and him as your boss. We wanted you to have an enjoyable time throughout the tour,” he explains. “Even with that, he still didn't believe us. Still, I know that he knows you have feelings for him. There’s no doubt.”
“God,” you sigh and put your head in your hands. “The other night when you told me that I was being obvious about my crush… Does Noah know?”
“I’m not sure,” he shakes his head. “Y/N, I’m sorry that we intervened.”
“It’s okay,” you sigh and meet Folio’s gaze. “I think I act this way so that maybe he’ll just know and one day he’ll say something. So that I don't have to say the words myself. ‘I’m in love with you, Y/N!’ God, I feel so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid,” Folio pats your hand and gives you a reassuring smile.
“Thanks, but I need to catch Matt before he sneaks off to sleep tonight,” you tell him.
“Don't do anything you’ll regret, Y/N,” Folio advises.
“I’ll try my best,” you raise your brows and finish your breakfast.
—
After the show, you waited patiently for Matt backstage. He was always the first to shower and get his things from the green room.
The band was still helping bring down the stage, so you had some time to confront Matt before they would be back here to gather their belongings.
Sitting on the sofa, you watched the door swing open as Matt came in with wavy, wet hair, an oversized tee, and cotton drawstring shorts.
“Oh, Y/N,” he nods. “I actually wanted to talk to you.”
“Yeah, we do need to talk,” you say seriously with your hands in your lap.
“What’s wrong?” He puts his things down and leans against the wall across from you.
Jumping right into it, “The other day when you told me that you heard nothing else when you overheard me talking to Folio, why did you lie to me?”
“C’mon, Y/N,” he laughs.
“Matt, I’m being serious. We don’t lie to each other,” you remind him.
“Well, I don’t know about that,” he shrugs.
“What?” You spit.
“Well, you’ve been lying to me, too. You always tell me everything and you chose to hide your little crush on Noah from me, and you told Folio?” He starts to become frustrated. “Also, you’re not telling me everything that happened on your date.”
“Folio is my friend too. I can talk to him about whatever I want,” you say assertively while furrowing your brow. “Also, I did tell you everything.”
“Sure,” he scoffs. “The song?”
You get up from the couch and walk towards him. “I know that’s not what you’re upset about. We didn’t do anything if that’s what you're ensuing?”
“So you didn’t kiss him?” He smirks, but not in the way you usually like. In a way that turns your stomach, because he thinks knows it all.
“No! I didn’t kiss him!” You begin to raise your voice. “Now, tell me why you lied to me?”
“I thought I was being a good friend by doing it,” he huffs. “Folio told you to choose and I know you. I knew you couldn’t. So, I chose for you.”
You explode in frustration and pinch the bridge of your nose, “Matt! What the fuck? You can’t just make decisions for me!”
“You’re right, because I’m regretting it,” he scoffs. “It sucks ass watching you getting so close to him.”
“You know what, Matt? Why did you tell me to go for Noah, huh? If you’re going to be an asshole, and question and suspect that we’re doing things behind your back?” You yell, waving your arms at him in frustration. “Why do you even care? You don’t like me the way he does! I feel like you’re trying to get rid of me!” You could feel tears begin to well up in your eyes.
“Because I didn’t want you to wait for me!” He yells back. “You deserve someone who can decide on their feelings. Someone who isn’t afraid of sharing them with you.”
Your eyes widen and like a switch, the waterworks come streaming down your face. “Feelings? Pfft. Matt, you have never shared anything vulnerable with me in our entire friendship,” you accusingly point at his chest.
“What about you? Why did you hide how you felt about me? For a year!” He raises his voice at you.
“Stop trying to put this on me,” you begin to wipe the tears accumulating on your cheeks. “I thought I was so stupid for holding out for you,” suddenly the hurt turns to anger. You poke him in the chest and sneer, “So, tell me, have you made up your mind? What are these “feelings” you’ve—?”
You first feel his drummer calloused hands on your cheeks before he interrupts you with his lips.
“Mmph,” your eyebrows raise in surprise, but hum into his lips. Your eyes slowly shut as you succumb to his caress.
Like your body had been waiting for this moment as much as your heart, you lean into his embrace without hesitation. Your hands make their way to the side of his neck and the back of his head; you pull him in tight as if you’d lose him again if you let him go.
His lips hold yours for what seems like minutes. You relish in how his plump lips feel on yours, they’re surprisingly soft. The fresh scent of his shampoo swarms your sense of smell. You just want to be able to hold him this close forever. All those nights of wondering what it would be like for him to hold your cheeks while your hands entangled his hair, were answered.
His lips leave yours for a second to catch a breath before he’s back onto you again with fervor. You match his pace and tilt your head so that you are perfectly melded with him. Your tongue begs him for entry as you cling to him. His tongue meets yours and the sharp taste of mint sends a shiver down your spine.
He kissed you with hunger, like a silent apology for his unspoken words hanging heavy between you. You met his intensity with your own by pouring your every desire into the kiss.
You gasp when his dominant hand comes down your side and wrap around to stop right in the small of your back, pressing you into him. His other hand leaves your cheek and is placed firmly under the curve of your ass, squeezing.
“Matt,” you moan, “What are we doing?”
“I just need to show you,” he whispers against your lips. “You asked how I feel.”
Your head reels and you begin to feel dizzy. I can’t believe this is happening, you think. Still, you need more. “I want to hear you say it, Matt,” you match the gaze of his dark eyes. “Just tell me.”
“Fuck, okay,” he rolls his eyes. “I’m in love with you, Y/N.”
“Dierkes,” your head falls as you try to hide the blush that slowly creeps over your cheeks. “Are you being serious? Please don't make this about Noah,”
“I’m serious, and while I wish he didn't have anything to do with it, he does.” He lifts your chin and brings his thumb to the outer corner of your eye and wipes your drying tears away. “I understand if you don’t say it back and… I’m sorry for raising my voice at you,” he apologizes.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you, too” you whisper and sniffle. “And, for poking you,” you rub the soft spot on his chest.
“It’s ok. I can take it,” he smiles and this finally lets a grin creep over your lips, too. “Are we okay?”
“Yeah,” you laugh softly.
“Good,” he nods. “Do you want to follow me to the bus? I can tuck you in bed and give you a kiss goodnight,” Matt jokes while tugging on your hand.
You lightly slap his arm and laugh with him. “Actually, I’m going to go shower, too.”
Matt shoves his face in your neck and sniffs hard. You giggle when his nose tickles you. “Yeah, you should, you stank,” he kisses your neck and it makes you bite your lip. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
You watch as he leaves the room and you begin to gather things to go to the showers down the hall from the green room. On one hand, you feel overly excited about Matt’s confession to you, but on the other, you feel ten times more confused than you did thirty minutes ago.
Either way, you ponder whether to tell Noah about Matt’s kiss or his confession. He’s in love with me? You think as your pulse rises.
You don't want to break Noah’s heart or lose him. The way he treats you and the memories you’re making with him are as valuable to you as your relationship with Matt.
I need to tell him, as soon as possible, you decide.
—
NOAH��S POV
The rest of the band opted to use the other shower room and the shower on the bus tonight. I thought I would be alone as I walked in with my backpack of change of clothes and bath towel, but Y/N’s face above her shower stall door surprised me.
Steam whirls through the air and the strong, familiar scent of her body wash makes my head spin. As she’s washing her face, I realize that she’s unaware of my presence.
“Y/N,” I say. “I’m in here by the way, do you mind?” God, this is embarrassing.
I watch her rinse her face quickly and turn to look at me.
“Oh, no, I don’t mind. You need to shower,” she shrugs. “I promise to close my eyes,” she laughs.
Heat crawls over my chest as I imagine her sneaking a look at me while undressing. I don’t think I would mind. God only knows the thoughts I’ve had about her body, no matter what she’s wearing.
“Ok, I’m undressing, then,” I say and without a beat she covers her eyes with her hands.
“Tell me when you’re done,” she laughs.
I pull off my stage clothes and boots and set them on the bench to the side, nicely folded. Grabbing my toiletries and towel, I step into the stall next to Y/N. There’s a wall in between us, so I can’t see her. Which is good, because I was not prepared to fight the urge to look down at her nude, soapy body in the stall next to me. “Alright, I’m done,” I say as I turn the knob on to allow hot water to rain over my aching muscles.
“I think I got soap in my eyes,” she whines next to me.
“Rinse them out,” I suggest while talking to the wall next to me. Actually, curse this wall.
“Ahhh,” she whines, I assume while running her eyes underneath the shower head.
“You good?”
“Yeah,” she huffs. “I’m almost done, anyway.”
Oh.
“I need to talk to you about something, though,” she turns off the shower and I can hear her begin to dry herself off with her towel.
I imagine the way her hands move the towel to caress her own breasts as beads of water drip down them. The image of her naked body overwhelms my mind. I know she can’t see me, but I hide my aching groin subconsciously.
I watch her step out in her towel dress in front of me and she smiles.
“Your hair is getting longer,” she gushes. “I like how it looks when it’s wet.”
“When have you ever seen it wet besides right now?” I laugh.
“Noah, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you get sweaty on stage. Your hair is soaked almost every night,” she giggles.
Her smile makes my heart flutter. I meet her eyes and they squint at me as she laughs. Yet, something’s different. Her eyes are puffy.
Has she been crying? I think as I squirt shampoo into my hands and massage them through my hair.
She watches me as she drops her towel and grabs her pajamas from her bag. Even with soap threatening to tear into my eyes, I keep them open to watch her pull her shirt on. I can’t see much, but I can picture the soft fabric going over her soft, braless chest. In my mind, her nipples peak from the absence of the hot shower.
I close my eyes to rinse my hair and I can feel her stare bore into my face, my hands, and my arms. I flex my biceps to indulge her voyeuristic behavior. When I open my eyes, I notice she’s bitten her lip so hard there’s an indent there.
Grabbing my body wash, I squeeze it into my loofah, “What did you want to talk about?”
“Uhm,” she stutters as her eyes fall to my collar bones. “It can wait. I’m just—.”
“Are you enjoying the view?” I tease her.
“Yeah,” she says dreamily while tilting her head. She chews on her lip again.
I squeeze the loofah over my chest and allow the soapy water to envelop my skin.
The dramatic action pulls her out of her trance. “Noah,” she smiles and looks away.
I smirk at her. I’ve loved to learn the things that make her smile over the past couple of days, however, the things that make her shy, blush, and squirm have been more fun.
She stands there and watches me finish off my shower. With anyone else, I would feel uncomfortable, but with her I yearn for any of the attention she can give me.
I turn off the shower and her soft voice asks, “Do I have to close my eyes again?”
She doesn’t, because I can wrap my towel around myself before I leave the stall. “Yes, close your eyes for me,” I point my finger at her teasingly, “and keep them closed until I say so.”
“Okay,” she covers her eyes with her hands like before.
I pull the towel off the stall door to dry my hair and body quickly before wrapping the towel around my hips. The door clicks as I push it open and I watch as she shifts her weight on her feet.
I walk up to her, so close that I can touch her.
“Keep them closed,” I say lowly as I lift her chin with a hook of my fore finger and slide my other hand to her hip.
“Mhm,” she hums.
Then, while being soft and tentative, I grazed her lips. Her breath caught in her throat. I pull back slightly, and she drops her hands to my bare chest still with her eyes closed like I asked, I touch my lips to hers again this time a little firmer, a little more insistent.
Our first kiss is filled with curiosity and a newfound longing. A promise of something more, yet innocent and sweet. Yet, I wanted so badly to pull her in deeper; to slip my hands over her bare skin and breasts; to allow her hands to slide down my abdomen, lower and lower.
We pull away and she finally opens her eyes and looks up at me blissfully, “I liked that.”
“You sure you don't want a redo of our first kiss where you know that it’s going to happen?” I laugh while holding her cheek.
“I like little surprises,” she shrugs. “But, if it means I get to kiss you again…”
She makes me turn away to laugh and my face feels hot again. I don't think anyone has made me shy this often. “You’re funny.” Then, I’m reminded of why she waited for me to finish my shower. “So, what did you want to tell me?” I smile down at her.
“Oh,” Y/N breaks our eye contact, “it’s nothing. I’ll tell you another time.”
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
Comforting A Murder [James Patrick March]
Hurt/Comfort // Smut. (I guess?)
Well you did it. You finally murdered someone, but right in the middle of a mess James wants to clean up. You attempt to comfort eachother...
18+ MINORS DNI!
Warnings: dub-con, PnV, quick fuck?, James being James.
Brb inspiring this off of ep.9 and 10. Had no ideas anymore so I figured basing this off an episode or two would help me write this.
No one's perspective
⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷
Oh, your pretty red dress. Ruined by the darkness of fresh blood. Arms and legs decorated by splashes of someone's else liquid soul. A beautiful decorated purple gun, turned black, dripping. Eyes widened; scared, confused, joy? Your mind racing with thoughts of what others would think.
Others? Each ghost more insane than the last? They didn't care. Most, happy by your calling. Liz, your best friend, daring you to talk to someone. "Talking to James will do good my dear. I understand he is in love with the countess still, but you know he takes interest in you as well."
"Sure.." A shaky word left your brain as you stood straight, gripping onto the used gun like it was a dying breath. "But... Jesus Liz, he's so... intimidating."
"Only if you don't talk to him." She stated. You took a deep breath and a step back, staring at the now decomposing lady that you laid bare. Flesh, body and soul ripped down the middle after a shot in the head. "A wonderful killing. Just like you." Liz was never too interested in the killing around the Cortez, but the way you killed... invigorating.
" 'suppose." You undressed as quickly as you killed, picking up a purple dress. The same shape, size and glimmer as the one you had murdered in. Your body still dripping in red.
"go like that. Go and find him right now."
"like this? No. Liz no! I can't. I have to wash myself. And my gun."
She shook her head and took a small drag of her cigarette. "No. Go find him. Now."
After a long silence, you took a deep and long breath, debating whether or not you should find the prolific killer. So you agreed. Walking out of the room and leaving the open torso to bleed dry, Liz watched, maybe silently judging you. You could never tell. The still image ran in your head as you walked. The heart slowing down, and the stomach just sat there, begging to be opened so the acid could dissolve everything else.
"...James." You saw him standing there, looking bewildered. He had been slapped, in front of an open hallway. An open hallway? Why on earth...? But you whispered his name as you took a step closer, transferring your gun from one hand to the other. "James.." you cleared your throat, looking down to the ground, feeling insecure. The killer looked at you, and smiled, taking his hand off his face.
"Ah, love. You look...ravishing, and a gun? My." He started, his smirk coming back to him. Nervous and worried, a blush appeared, and your hands were shaky again. The gun was still coloured darkly, leaving little trails of blood behind you. If there was any more blood on you, you would look like Carrie, an icon to you and your deranged but silent mind. "May I ask, your kill you have come back from?"
"a lady. Insulted my dress. Shot her head, then...ripped her torso. Neck to crotch." You admitted, looking everywhere but in his eyes. Another step towards you. He took your hand and looked lovingly at the gun.
"I'm so proud my dear." A teacher, smiling widely at his student, blood smearing itself over both your hands. You stared at his hands. Such precious jewels, covered in a dark thick liquid, a gun being shared between two. A small gulp and another deep breath. "What are you nervous about?" He asked as you looked up to the open hallway, a looming darkness. It scared you, but you never showed it. You wanted to impress James, being scared would annoy him.
Oh just how wrong you were. James could tell you were scared about what could have been lurking in the hallway. What a wonderful thing to use to his advantage. "This hallway is empty my darling. Nothing exists here." He simply stated. Innocently looking back up to him and seeming like you didn't understand anything he was saying. Like you didn't believe him. "Go on. Walk in. You have your dear gun, use it if need to." Absolutely not.
But a cold hand on your back, pushing you in. It left a faint handprint on you, and James noticed, letting out a small chuckle. It rang through the looming hallway, making you shake more. Holding the gun in front of you, worriedly looking around. Then a shot. You shot something. You think. Maybe? But you turned and ran. Ran into James' chest, even if he didn't wrap his arms around you as you secretly hoped he would. "You found something?"
"I think...I think so?" Your voice was hurried, and resting your head on his chest.
"Come dear. Let's take you away from this." He placed a dead hand on the small of your back, still bloody. The blood on you was decently dried now, feeling unable to wash it off. Eyes always straight and front as you both walked. Meeting anyone's eyes would increase your guilt about the murder. Such a beautiful but meaningless kill in James' mind. Killing someone for insulting your pretty red dress? Insanity.
James' room appeared before you, and you were led into it. Cold but comforting. A room you had wanted to go into. Forever. Everything interested you. Mindlessly, you started to wander around. Leaving gentle touches over every surface. The interest you two had with each other, coming to light. Your wonder and innocence, lit up when you walked around. Going in circles, your hand loosening around the firearm you held so dear. A beautiful thing, all based on your personality. James picked it up as you stepped in another circle, staring out of the window.
Ah, the open world. Nothing you missed. Bullied for the way you worked, and how you carried yourself. You left the daylight alone and stayed in the Cortez. Liz and Iris helping you with anything you need from the open world. "Dear. You are lost again." James murmured, standing behind you. A breath? Maybe? By the crook of your neck. "Ah yes, the life outside of this hotel. You should not worry about it, my dear. You are here now. You are here forever, murdering just because?"
Words that left him, and made you shiver. "But, I want the life again."
"I understand darling, but you must understand that this hotel can offer you more. Offer you something you could not find outside." A hand, gripping the front of your neck, thick fingers finding a vein and pressing on it, hard. "The people here are dangerous, wonderful. Full of deprived attraction." A hitch in your breath as the pressure got harder and harder. The stopping of your breath and its effects on James were pressed against your back. Was he really getting hard at this? Really? Okay...
"James..." All you did was lean against him, your neck open to him again, so many possibilities, and so many things he could do to you. A low groan, maybe a snarl leaving him. His free hand exploring your side, gripping at the dress fabric and feeling the dried blood on you. Every touch felt odd like you shouldn't be enjoying it so much. But your love for James, and the way your need for him manifested as killing for him. Innocents who did nothing to you but make a snarky comment, a little joke. Why was he so irresistible to you? A killer who died nearly 100 years ago, who loves murder, fine absthine, and his students.
Wandering hands trailing down your back, pulling down the zipper. The purple fabric fell swiftly off you, pooling around your flats and the blood-covered legs of yours. All this talk and touch of murder, blood, opening someone up, it was nothing but erotica turned real to him. Such a need for someone he did not know too well. Who was he to deny such a gift? Deny the chance to make someone feel something other than rage and upset.
Such moveable skin in front of him, the way he touched and practically groped you, making you feel mindless already. Your head, silently thrown back onto James' shoulder, feeling every touch he gave. The way he gripped onto your hips, such a need and desire in him. You practically threw yourself onto the bed, but sat on your knees politely. Even when a feeling of warmth spread through you, nerves were still there and you never wanted to upset your dear so. Shy, doe eyes watching a ghost undress. A quick coyote, readying himself to catch the doe it craved.
Silence in your voices, but catching breaths, underwear ripped off of you. You were being pulled up from your knees and pushed down onto all fours. He fucked like you were going away that night. Barely any time to catch your breath as he kept going.
Faster.
Harder.
Fucking you like the world was ending. Your moans; loud, unfiltered, they could be heard anywhere in the Cortez. His were reserved but animalistic in nature, never giving you a break. You screamed his name, as he yelled yours. Bruises were appearing on your neck, hips and thighs.
When had the dam been broken? You wondered as you cleaned yourself up, starting to sit up. Looking over to your side, James was half-dressed already. "I will admit my darling, that blood drying itself on you truly is enchanting." He nonchalantly mentioned, walking over to where you sat. A little hum in response, looking to the side where James was not. The ghost pulled your face towards him and left a kiss on your wanting lips. Pushing yourself forward to try and kiss him again, only to be denied.
Only to be denied as he picked up that purple gun you adored.
Only to be denied as he reloaded it.
Only to be denied as he aimed it at your worrying face.
BANG.
Only to be denied one last breath, one that you could've kissed him again with.
⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷
Tag: @babygorewhore @taintandviolent @coentinim @bluerthanvelvet444 @nahoyasboyfriend @slutforgarlogan @slvt4jamesmarch @tatelangdonsweater @feefymo @fear-is-truth
#ahs#evan peters#american horror story#james patrick march#james march#ahs hotel#Hotel#james march x reader#James Patrick March x reader#James March x you#james Patrick march x you#smut#ahs imagines#ahs smut#jpm x you#jpm x reader#jpm smut#james march x you#james march smut#james Patrick march smut#lord
131 notes
·
View notes