chimneyz

[chimneyz]

buck and tommy fucking filthy for the first time post-breakup and the entire time they fuck, buck keeps himself at a distance from tommy’s face, so as to avoid kissing him. when they finish, tommy rolls onto his side to kiss buck, kiss him deep and soft, exactly the way buck likes it post-sex, but buck immediately turns his face away and says - something along the lines of - “that’s not something you get to do anymore,” — before getting up, putting on his clothes, and leaving. no goodbye. no nothing. not even turning his head to look back on his way out.

[chimneyz]

Tonight was actually a good night, the first good night since the incident, the first time Buck smiled and actually laughed... since the incident. Who knows Buck might actually get a goodnight's sleep for the first time...

Since the incident.

The sweet smell of cookies and other assorted baked goods filled Buck's loft, he's spent most of his free time now baking, to keep his mind off of things. To stop it from spiraling down a dark path.

"Thank you again Buck," Maddie beamed at him "Jee has been talking about baking with Uncle Buck for some time now. Haven't you Jee?"

Jee smiles brightly at him with a box of freshly made cookies in hand giggling. Her infectious joy melts Buck's heart.

"Yeah of course!" Buck responds, he bends down to his niece's level booping her nose. "Miss Jee is welcome any time."

As she scrunches up her nose with a giggle Buck stands back up to find both his sister and Chimney's face painted with concern. Maddie opens her mouth then decides against it glancing over at her husband. She presser lips thinly. Maddie decides to go foward with what ever words are circling in her head.

"Are you willing to talk about what happened?"

Buck tilts his head, eyebrows furrowing.

"What is there to talk about, we broke up. That's the end of it, nothing more."

Maddie's eyebrows rise up to her hairline, Chimney's scrunch up, both looking back and forth from eachother to Buck trying to formulat the right words. Annoyance spiked through Buck's body.

"You never really explained what happened between you two, I thought everything was going so well." Maddie finally said.

Chimney reaches down to pick up Jee with a grunt resting her on his hip. "Yeah, I mean you're a mess - no offense - but when was the last time you actually slept? And on top of that you won't even say his name."

Chim's right he did look like a mess didn't he. His stubble was becoming more than just a stubble. Dark pockets have formed under his sore eyes, his cheeks still warm and puffy from bitter tears. Hell, his still wearing that hoodie, the hoodie that used to be his. Not sure if Buck can even still call it his anymore, the lingering sent of him has been diminishing more and more.

Buck huffed out a mirthless laugh slightly raising his hands, darting his eyes away from his family. "Like I said t-there is not much to say, we - we just broke things off. I-I ran my mouth and like always I Bucked it up." His hands drop to his sides in defeat.

Buck struggles to look at them, more specifically his sister, but when his eyes meet hers he sees a sympathetic sorrow sparkling in them. "I am sure that is not true Buck."

Maddie isn't entirely wrong though is she? Sure Buck has been running what he said that night in his head over and over, there are definitely things he worded incorrectly or probably never should of left his mouth, but it was To- no, it was him who walked away from Buck. It was him who was afraid of getting his heart broken but shattering Buck's with his swift goodbye. Buck can feel the tears forming around his eyes again.

"This wasn't all on To- on him, some of it was on me too..." He looks at them again plastering a smile on his face the best he can without breaking down infront of them. "Thank you for bringing Jee, I think I needed this more than you guys."

Maddie places her hand gently on Buck's shoulder, a small wavering smile forming. "Of course Buck. If you- When ever you are ready to talk I am right here for you." As the Han family turn to leave, Buck steps foward before he can even think.

"H-hey Maddie can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

Buck fidgets with his fingers picking at his skin, "Actually this is a question for the both of you."

Maddie and Chim turn to eachother with a puzzled look, they look to Buck waiting for his question.

"What exactly happened between you two? With Boston and t-the break up, what happened that made you two go back to eachother time, after time, after time again?"

Both smiled fondly at him, "Well Jee played a big part in that department." Chimney said.

"Y-Yes she did," Maddie pointed at Chimney and turned back at Buck, "But it was more than that. We didn't just stumble upon what we have, we had to work for it, to build it, to make it."

Those familiar words rang in Buck's ears over and over.

"We had to fight for each other, for love" Chimney added.

A warm feeling bubbled in Buck's chest, he wasn't sure if he would call it hope, but it was something that made him feel good, something he hasn't felt in days. Buck smiled and nodded while looking at the floor, the words still playing through his head.

"Ok, thank you."

Jee fussed in Chimney's arms her face growing grumpy.

"Uh-oh looks like it's someone's bedtime," Maddie giggled.

"Bedtime, what bedtime?" Chimney muttered, he opened the door leaving with Jee in hand. Lingering behind, Maddie steps closer to her brother hugging him tight.

"Everything will be ok."

"Yeah, thanks Maddie."

She leaves closing the door behind her. Buck stands alone in his loft taking out his phone, his fingers hovering over the keyboard on the text chain with him - no, Tommy. The words he wants to say circling around and around in that brain of his. He may not reach out tonight, he may not reach out tomorrow or even the next few days, but soon...

Soon, Buck tells himself.

[chimneyz]

the hans over at the wilsons telling them maddie's pregnant and mara realizing her little ex-foster sister is going to become an older sister herself, just like her >//<

[chimneyz]

buddie this, bucktommy that

guys...... buck has two hands.....

[chimneyz]

carlos reyes and his black stetson

[chimneyz]

buck in bed sandwiched between his two boyfriends and blissfully conked out. eddie and tommy cuddle him adoringly and softly bicker about whether he’s blond or brunet (eddie insists on the former while tommy claims the latter)

[chimneyz]

maddie & chimney 6.01 | "let the games begin"

[chimneyz]

i cant believe they had maddie already be pregnant and we were denied another chimney hand brushing maddies shirt moment. a maddie "good w ur hands" moment. shirtless chimney in a towel moment. maddie pulling off her shirt to toss at chimney moment. remember when the 911 couples used to be horny??

[chimneyz]

Playing it cool~

[chimneyz]

buck monoshippers on both sides: my ship is clearly better look at xyz in the ep for why

me: reblogging buddie posts, bucktommy posts, and buddietommy posts without a care in the world loving life bc everything was beautiful

[chimneyz]

what if tommy not only became good friends with eddie, but rekindled his friendship with chimney. what if the past six months chimney and tommy would have a movie night each week, beers, take out, and what ever new movie they both have been meaning to watch. (what if chimney with the help of tommy threw an oscars party at the han household and placed bets on who was going to win that season, maddie and buck looking fondly at their significant others becoming a little too enthusiastic about the oscars) what if chimney and tommy started having inside jokes about the films they have watched on film night. what if film night brings them closer than ever.

what if after everything, after the break up, it's that time of week again. tommy is sitting alone in his house feeling worse than he's ever been holding on to the hoodie buck left behind. it still smells like him. what if there is a knock on the door. what if tommy takes a minute to answer and suprised to see chimney on the other side of the door with a pack of beers, take out, and a dvd in hand.

"howie, what are you-"

chimney brushes past him, "you think you can get rid of me that easily kinard. you got another thing coming. come on i just got this in the store, ryan gosling and emily blunt are supposedly fantastic in this."

tommy turns, his mind still processing. "i thought movie night was done for. you know after everything..." tommy looks down at his fingers picking at the skin around his nails, they seem to be bothering him the past couple days.

"am i still mad at you for what you did to my brother in law, yes, but i know you tommy, i'm not letting you build up those wall again closing yourself off from everyone." chimney points at tommy with the hand holding the bag of take out food. tommy tires to look back up at him, tears threatning to fall down. "not again tommy, i am here to stay."

[chimneyz]

Tommy knows he’s making a mistake as soon as the door closes behind him.

For a moment he wants to turn around and knock, but his feet are already carrying him forward. Away from Evan. Away, like he can possibly outrun what he just did.

The elevator is already on its way up, so there’s probably somebody in there, and Tommy can’t stand the idea of dealing with another person right now. He pushes open the door to the staircase and barely makes it down the first three steps before he needs to sit down. Hard.

His legs feel like rubber, like they’re no longer truly a part of him. Tommy takes a deep breath, but it comes out shaky. ‘Just for a minute,’ he tells himself. In a minute he’s going to get up, walk down the stairs and get in his car. He’s going to drive home, open a beer and have his meltdown where nobody is going to see it.

Part of him can’t believe what just happened. Tommy came here to pick up Evan for a date, and now their relationship is over, just like that.

Not just like that. ‘You did this, you always do this,’ a little voice in the back of his mind declares.

Tommy draws in a shuddering breath. God, he’s such a self-sabotaging asshole when he gets scared. Evan got too close, got under his skin, and the moment he started talking about living together, all Tommy could see was the end. 

The certainty of it. How much it would hurt. Tommy can’t take another repeat of Henry, David or Nick. He just doesn’t have it in him.

Maybe he should have seen this coming from the beginning, but his feelings for Evan kind of snuck up on him.

Still, what he just did was needlessly cruel. Tommy really thought his days of saying stupid shit to keep people at a distance were over, but here he is. Evan deserves better. Deserves a real explanation instead of getting dumped like the last six months didn’t mean anything. 

Tommy did what other men have done to him, and it makes him feel sick to his stomach. He really turned into the douchebag he never wanted to be. 

The big difference is that none of the men who dumped him like yesterday’s trash were in love with him. They were able to move on; had moved on before Tommy even got the memo that he wasn’t enough. Again.

But he has no idea how he’s supposed to move on from this. How long has it been since Tommy closed the door to Evan’s loft? Five minutes? Ten? Long enough that he really should get up. Long enough for the dread to set in. He’s never going to see Evan’s smile again. Never going to hear his voice again. Never going to kiss him again or wake up next to him.

Tommy did this. He did this to Evan, and he did this to himself. What right does he have to feel heartbroken when he’s the problem?

There’s a faint noise behind him, and even without looking he knows it’s the door to the hallway that’s only a few steps away. Just like he knows who’s behind him. He really should have gone back to his car, but even now Tommy feels like he can’t get up.

Evan sits down on the stairs next to him. Tommy can’t look at him. He doesn’t want to see the hurt and the loss he’s feeling mirrored on Evan’s face.

“I went to your car first,” Evan tells him quietly. 

It’s not like he owes Tommy any kind of explanation for showing up late. Especially not when Tommy wasn’t expecting Evan to come after him at all.

“Josh told me I was really lucky,” Evan says. “That being queer used to be so much scarier and harder.”

Tommy hums in agreement, but he keeps staring at the gray walls of the staircase. He really isn’t sure what Evan is hoping for right now.

“And you said that it took you a long time to come to terms with being gay. That I went through my freak-out at record speed. I don’t think I ever really understood what that meant for you.”

Tommy turns his head. Evan looks like he’s been crying, but his voice is calm and steady.

“You were about the same age I’m now when you came out, right?”

Tommy nods and bites his lip, not trusting himself to speak.

“And it wasn’t anything like it’s been for me.”

It really wasn’t. It was ugly and painful and it nearly broke him. Tommy did it because he needed to be true to himself if he wanted a shot at an honest and meaningful relationship, but every single one left him feeling like he still wasn’t enough.

Until now.

“Are you seriously trying to rationalize why I was an asshole to you?” Tommy asks in disbelief.

“No.” Evan looks him straight in the eye. “That was shitty, Thomas.”

Tommy winces, even though he earned that one.

“But I’m not just going to let you walk away because you got this weird idea in your head that I need more time to figure myself out. I’m not you, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. Just that my experience isn’t yours. I know what I want, Tommy, and I know I want it with you. Okay?”

“Okay,” Tommy echoes reluctantly.

Evan gets up from the stairs and holds out a hand, but Tommy hesitates for a moment too long.

“The stairs are cold, and we’re not done talking about this,” Evan tells him. “Come on.”

But Tommy stays right where he is and looks up at him. “I still don’t want to move in with you. Evan, I meant what I said, if you break my heart I don’t think I’ll get back up.”

“Good thing I’m no longer asking you to move in.”

“Okay?”

Evan gives him a warm smile, still holding out his hand. “I’m asking for time. We’re taking it slow, not for me, but for you, until you know your heart is safe with me.”

And Tommy smiles back at him and takes his hand. 

[chimneyz]

Tommy knows he’s making a mistake as soon as the door closes behind him.

For a moment he wants to turn around and knock, but his feet are already carrying him forward. Away from Evan. Away, like he can possibly outrun what he just did.

The elevator is already on its way up, so there’s probably somebody in there, and Tommy can’t stand the idea of dealing with another person right now. He pushes open the door to the staircase and barely makes it down the first three steps before he needs to sit down. Hard.

His legs feel like rubber, like they’re no longer truly a part of him. Tommy takes a deep breath, but it comes out shaky. ‘Just for a minute,’ he tells himself. In a minute he’s going to get up, walk down the stairs and get in his car. He’s going to drive home, open a beer and have his meltdown where nobody is going to see it.

Part of him can’t believe what just happened. Tommy came here to pick up Evan for a date, and now their relationship is over, just like that.

Not just like that. ‘You did this, you always do this,’ a little voice in the back of his mind declares.

Tommy draws in a shuddering breath. God, he’s such a self-sabotaging asshole when he gets scared. Evan got too close, got under his skin, and the moment he started talking about living together, all Tommy could see was the end. 

The certainty of it. How much it would hurt. Tommy can’t take another repeat of Henry, David or Nick. He just doesn’t have it in him.

Maybe he should have seen this coming from the beginning, but his feelings for Evan kind of snuck up on him.

Still, what he just did was needlessly cruel. Tommy really thought his days of saying stupid shit to keep people at a distance were over, but here he is. Evan deserves better. Deserves a real explanation instead of getting dumped like the last six months didn’t mean anything. 

Tommy did what other men have done to him, and it makes him feel sick to his stomach. He really turned into the douchebag he never wanted to be. 

The big difference is that none of the men who dumped him like yesterday’s trash were in love with him. They were able to move on; had moved on before Tommy even got the memo that he wasn’t enough. Again.

But he has no idea how he’s supposed to move on from this. How long has it been since Tommy closed the door to Evan’s loft? Five minutes? Ten? Long enough that he really should get up. Long enough for the dread to set in. He’s never going to see Evan’s smile again. Never going to hear his voice again. Never going to kiss him again or wake up next to him.

Tommy did this. He did this to Evan, and he did this to himself. What right does he have to feel heartbroken when he’s the problem?

There’s a faint noise behind him, and even without looking he knows it’s the door to the hallway that’s only a few steps away. Just like he knows who’s behind him. He really should have gone back to his car, but even now Tommy feels like he can’t get up.

Evan sits down on the stairs next to him. Tommy can’t look at him. He doesn’t want to see the hurt and the loss he’s feeling mirrored on Evan’s face.

“I went to your car first,” Evan tells him quietly. 

It’s not like he owes Tommy any kind of explanation for showing up late. Especially not when Tommy wasn’t expecting Evan to come after him at all.

“Josh told me I was really lucky,” Evan says. “That being queer used to be so much scarier and harder.”

Tommy hums in agreement, but he keeps staring at the gray walls of the staircase. He really isn’t sure what Evan is hoping for right now.

“And you said that it took you a long time to come to terms with being gay. That I went through my freak-out at record speed. I don’t think I ever really understood what that meant for you.”

Tommy turns his head. Evan looks like he’s been crying, but his voice is calm and steady.

“You were about the same age I’m now when you came out, right?”

Tommy nods and bites his lip, not trusting himself to speak.

“And it wasn’t anything like it’s been for me.”

It really wasn’t. It was ugly and painful and it nearly broke him. Tommy did it because he needed to be true to himself if he wanted a shot at an honest and meaningful relationship, but every single one left him feeling like he still wasn’t enough.

Until now.

“Are you seriously trying to rationalize why I was an asshole to you?” Tommy asks in disbelief.

“No.” Evan looks him straight in the eye. “That was shitty, Thomas.”

Tommy winces, even though he earned that one.

“But I’m not just going to let you walk away because you got this weird idea in your head that I need more time to figure myself out. I’m not you, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. Just that my experience isn’t yours. I know what I want, Tommy, and I know I want it with you. Okay?”

“Okay,” Tommy echoes reluctantly.

Evan gets up from the stairs and holds out a hand, but Tommy hesitates for a moment too long.

“The stairs are cold, and we’re not done talking about this,” Evan tells him. “Come on.”

But Tommy stays right where he is and looks up at him. “I still don’t want to move in with you. Evan, I meant what I said, if you break my heart I don’t think I’ll get back up.”

“Good thing I’m no longer asking you to move in.”

“Okay?”

Evan gives him a warm smile, still holding out his hand. “I’m asking for time. We’re taking it slow, not for me, but for you, until you know your heart is safe with me.”

And Tommy smiles back at him and takes his hand. 

[chimneyz]

(X)

[chimneyz]

GRACE & JUDD + PARTNER SHOTS in SEASON 4

[chimneyz]

He’s tired af being stuck in this ao3 tag for eight years.

[chimneyz]

7x06