#... ok nvm

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Request here my dear

Villain offers a massage to hero because they know how exhausted he is after so many battles. Villain is very skilled and relaxes hero but when the hero has to get up he realises hes got a bit of an issue in his pants :)

Give us some sexual tension don't be shy ;)

"I get it," the villain said. "That much responsibility on your back. No wonder you're stiff."

The villain smiled to themselves as they dug their fingernails into the hero's back, dragging them down. And they weren't the only one enjoying it: the hero moaned in response and curled his back a little. To remind the hero who was in charge, they pressed him back into the bed and tutted.

"But I am still surprised that you crawled to me and begged me to either punch or hug you. Our golden boy is really at his limits, hm?" The villain put a flat hand on the hero's back and rubbed gently. The hero had been in their apartment quite a few times already. Never on his own terms, it was mostly the villain dragging him here to stitch his wounds. But admittedly, the villain enjoyed not being alone.

"I had a long week," he said, his face half-buried in the villain's pillows.

"It's Wednesday."

"So?" he asked, more exhausted than the villain had expected.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" they asked.

"Nah." He didn't even look at them. Unfortunately, the villain got a little too distracted by him. They looked at his broad back, big muscles relaxing, his body breathing rythmically. The villain was a little hot, not really knowing where their eyes were supposed to stay. It was a little overwhelming.

"I've been told I'm great at talking. About stuff like that." The villain let their hand travel up and down the hero's back, tender fingers moving in patterns and lines. The hero took in a deep breath and his head turned around, two sleepy eyes checking out their enemy.

"I'm gonna smell like you if I keep laying here," he said.

"See it as payment. You tell me what happened and I won't kick your ass."

"You decided not to kick my ass. I wouldn't mind a fight."

"Oh, really?" Once again, the villain let their nails scratch over the hero's back and this time, the hero squeezed his eyes shut, exhaling heavily. "Do you want to beg me to break your bones? That's a strange request."

"Fine," he mumbled. "I got transferred."

"What?!"

"Yeah, like half across the country. Fucking sucks." The villain didn't know what to say. The hero was the only reason why they had moved here. He was the only reason why they stayed.

"Christ, that's not..." The villain swallowed. Their fingers were still going up and down the hero's back but the villain wasn't even aware how close their fingertips were to the hero's waist band.

"I know, I tried to argue with them but they were convinced I needed to leave the city," he said. "I hope it's not because of us but I think it is."

"What do you mean?" the villain asked but they knew exactly what he meant. They weren't allowed to do this. To be in bed together, to know where the other was staying, to stitch up each other.

It wasn't normal.

"People might know about us. I don't really care about that. Reputation or gossip - I'll still save people and I'll still love the people that I love. It doesn't matter to me what they print." He still didn't really turn his body. "Can you move your hand?"

To the villain's surprise, they discovered that their hand had been on the hero's lower back for a little too long. They found another way up the hero's back.

"So, you're moving soon?"

"Unfortunately," he said. "Believe me, I am still trying to fight it out, it's just a lot of paperwork."

Well, what exactly held the villain back, then?

They hesitated. This was stupid.

But then, they leaned over and kissed the hero's cheek. The villain felt their own heart banging against their ribs, making them almost panic. However, the hero - although he seemed surprised - pressed a kiss to their lips. It was quick and awkward and for a second, the villain could only stare at the man in their bed, the only person that was important.

He turned a little and the villain couldn't help but go in for another kiss. Harder this time, more passionate. The villain had nothing to lose now. They were tired of pretending they weren't yearning for him and his body. They were tired of pretending not to notice his muscles or his messy hair or his raspy voice in the morning. Totally tired of pretending they didn't like his dumb jokes or how he didn't even have to stand on his tip-toes to reach the villain's coffee.

"Wait..." he murmured, "get on top."

And the villain did. The hero pulled them on top easily.

"Oh. Oh."

"Don't even-" But the villain had to giggle and moved their hips a little, just to rile him up even more. He could only moan quietly and grab the villain's thighs to stop them. "You're evil."

"You deserve a good goodbye," the villain answered but in reality, they let him struggle for twenty minutes until their hand finally dove down.

[existennialmemes]

Trying to channel my rage and anguish into Silliness so the despair does not consume me, and if I am successful I will have functionally transformed myself into an IRL Looney Tune.

[kindred-spirit-93]

was anyone going to tell me bone broth/ meat stock fucken slaps or was i supposed to find that out myself?

sipping on bone juice and living my best medieval peasant life lmao

"How often, thanks to the cheritable of all and of no denomination, has some poor shivering wretch been brought back almost from death to life by the timely aid of a basin of soup..." fucking wheezing

source: Victorian Recipes: Soups

[karts-pit-of-art]

original

[daphnalia]

yeah sorry its lousy guys i had to pull this from so far up my ass that i might as well have gone to the er bc its my birthday🤞

[suiana]

𝓱𝓮𝓱.. 𝓵𝓮𝓽’𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓰𝓲𝓷.. 𝓲𝓶 𝓰𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓸 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓽𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 12 𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓱 𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓴 𝓽𝓾𝓷𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓷 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓲𝓶 𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴 𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽'𝓼 𝓲𝓽'𝓼 𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓻𝓾𝓷 .. 𝓸𝓱 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮 𝓯𝓾𝓷. ⚢

WHATYHE FUCK LAMOOOO

[cowboylikejesper]

and if i said “homemade dynamite” by lorde is wesper coded

[heartsfortwotpot]

i apologize

[bywons]

me when a gc dies

[qqtxt]

[!] mentions of murder as a joke [!]

✿ texts.txt_random texts with bf!beomgyu [8/?]  ✿ "wrong answers only. who’s cuter?” ✿ [masterlist 🌸] / [texts with txt tag]

[seall-moved]

actually now that i’m thinking about it, i hate the way the author of marriage of convenience kept reminding readers about the age gap

[dappersautismcreature]

me n my sister used to sing ‘you are my sunshine’ to our grandparents over the phone, ive literally never been this close to crying from a mc stream I swear ive been watching since 2021 dsmp and now qsmp and fuck man. I dont have father issues I dont have father issues I dont have- hajgsjhcgjqcj

[jrueships]

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE VERGE OF SUMMER SO WHY IS IT SNOWIN!!!!

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[thesingingrevolution]

google maps is lying there is no way it takes 11 hours to fly from los angeles to honolulu. that is simply fake

[offical-9jago-au]

Update

Cole is dying from a heart attack /j