#-keep giving it to me
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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fascinated/horrified by this set of tweets…
#the thing about these tweets is the absolutely rancid entitlement in them and then the attempt to justify it#'keep up a charade that the floor is clean' do you... not clean your house? do you not mop the floors??????????#anyway. are you americans okay???#specifically…. are white americans ok????#is the right to keep your shoes on also written into your constitution?#also the getting sick is 99 per cent random tweet is giving me brain damage#anyway. nobody is coming into my home with their outside shoes on#and if the feel of your bare feet on the floors i clean almost every day is so revolting to you#we have inside shoes?????#polls#*r
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As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.
For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.
But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.
Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.
#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is#what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid#he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family#and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points#and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better#pflag#parents doing their best#parenting win#good news#allyship
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SEBASTIAN STAN as BUCKY BARNES in Thunderbolts* (2025) dir. Jake Schreier
#sebastian stan#bucky barnes#thunderbolts#Thunderbolts*#marvel#marveledit#useriselin#userines#usersugar#userallisyn#tuserrachel#tuserpris#nessa007#userzaynab#userzo#disney#usermandie#userquel#userreh#userkam#usersavana#usersaoirse#tusercora#userdiana#tuserpolly#tuserhan#tusertha#userpayton#this gives me whiplash because i keep seeing the trailer for the apprentice in theater
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"If rest becomes a form of recovery from work, as is the case today, it loses its specific ontological value. It no longer represents an independent, higher form of existence and degenerates into a derivative of work. Today's compulsion of production perpetuates work and thus eliminates that sacred silence. Life becomes entirely profane, desecrated."
—Han Byung-Chul, The Disappearance of Rituals (trans. Daniel Steuer)
#quotes for keeping#maybe this is on me for not reading kierkegaard#or really any modern western philosophers at all hhh#but I'd never thought of rest as something independent from recovery#there's a lot being said about the need to rest and give time for yourself these days#but rest is always framed as a way to recover and recharge before diving back into work (production)#and not like. the end in and of itself. the stillness that grants access to sacred silence#UGH WHY DIDN'T MY EFILE HAVE THE TRANSLATOR'S NAME. GOD.#IT'S ALMOST LIKE WE DON'T VALUE THE WORK OF PROFESSIONAL TRANSLATORS. WOW
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*you opening the love letter* what does your damijon look like, pls pls pls pls pls pls pls, i know it would be so cute, i just know it 🙏🙏🙏
here you go! thank you for the ask, this was a lot of fun to do! they're working on a case together ^^
#ask#super sons#jondami#damian wayne#jon kent#batbabyart#after getting this ask i couldn't stop thinking about older Damian outfits 😭#just based on comic artists throughout the years Damian's got a fairly decent range of style it was hard to choose but v fun!!#Jon's wearing a bunch of layers to cover up bulk while Damian's layering to give off more bulk LOL#i decided to lean a bit into Cizmesija's recent look for him and contrast Jon's more colorful casual wear#didn't want tooo much Batman 666 vibes so i tried giving Damian another color option thru A but i still liked B more lol#also every time i draw older Damian his hair keeps changing sdfgh that one poll apparently did not help me decide haha
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can anyone think of any other words that use o' to denote "of the?" all i can think of is o'lantern (jack o'lantern), o'clock, and o' the wisp (will o' the wisp)
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no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#figueroth faeth#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#fh class quangle#my! class swap thing! I guess this is like the poster for it now#got overinvested and finished it properly instead of winging it lol#in closeup order: cleric!gorgug; bard!riz; rogue!fabian; sorcerer!kristen; barbarian!fig; artificer!adaine#this one does have the harpoon gun I'd give fabian during sophomore year but literally only figured out for this piece lol#I like how it looks tho Im glad I hashed it out#thinking abt power armor adaine a lot tbh... she has the transhumanist audacity. she's villain-adjacent enough#to attempt unspeakable acts of body improvement#(its funny bc to wear a rig like that would Also demand a certain level of physical strength from you)#also yeah this is the thing with riz holding a megaphone that got me considering#its fun! it fits the aesthetics! maybe it'd grant him range for bardics#maybe he gets to keep that Im just not sure how he'd carry it around lol#fig gets to have all of her makeup... I like almost never remember to draw it usually kdsjfhdjk listen. I just forgor#I always forget makeup is real#also dont ask me what's in kristen's thermos it Is usually tea but you truly never know#sometimes its soup. it can be lighter fluid. soap perhaps. hot chocolate#also if u come knocking on my door abt kristen's somatic in this piece: I wont be home#she gets to be gross especially bc shes funny and 17yo and gay. we give it to her#okay I. whoo I should lay down. finally I can move on to other things#cheers! wahoo. yahha perhaps
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
Enjoy the fandom things.
#fanfic#ao3#archive of our own#fandom things#tumblr things#i may have said this at some point#i'm sure i have#but whatever - just in case#i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics#but just if anyone is so inclined that's all#ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog#i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting#but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen#not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy#at least of fics bc i save everything#not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about#that i've made or done and only posted here#anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today#i have plans to stare into the void now
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I love your ghost design. I wanna squeeze him :^)
If no hug then why hug-shaped???
#thank youuuu! squeeze that mentally unstable adult man! he needs it!#ask#anon ask#ghostsoap#soapghost#my art#cod fanart#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soap x ghost#doodle#fav hc about ghost is that he is so incredibly touch starved and everyone just assumes he hates touch#but Soap is so touchy he keeps forgetting not to hug and pat and lean on Ghost#and each time Ghost is like ‘what is happening to me?? why do I want to melt rn??? I think I’m in love???’#outwardly he is a stone wall as usual#until Soap actually remembers to give Ghost space bc he thinks that’s what he wants#and Ghost has to finally be the one to reach out and ask for touch#and Soap is the happiest camper#from then on they are stuck together with glue#this all has nothing to do with your ask I’m sorry#I’ve got ghoap on the brain I can’t help it#complete side note: I have many asks in my inbox and I’m so happy y’all write!! just pls bear with me bc I am very slow to respond
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alright look, i just wanna know who is the writer that came up with the dumbass idea of replacing the line “Ever since I lost my son, I think of you as my own” with “Lu Ten would have been proud to have you as his father” in this scene for the Netflix live action series???
#atla#Avatar the Last Airbender#atlaedit#animationedit#Zuko#Uncle Iroh#*mine#GIVE ME THE NAME!!!!!#and it's funny how they chose to keep most of the lines almost verbatim in this scene but then replaced the MOST important line...#seriously who in their right f*cking mind thought that was the better line to say in this context HUH???#the way it was originally written was such an important highlight of this scene too!!#IT LITERALLY SUMS UP IROH AND ZUKO'S ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP IN ONE SENTENCE#like i know certain dialogues can't be translated well into live action and some changes are necessary#but there was absolutely NO reason to change this particular line whatsoever in this specific scene
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the only thing scarier than vampire lords/mind flayers/death cults is meeting the in-laws
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#tavstarion#i feel like he’s good at schmoozing but i’m not sure how much he would actually Enjoy it#he gives me extroverted introvert#being surrounded by a few hundred very pretty wood elves for a weekend is probably quite nice though#he might have a bitch sesh with dorian’s sisters#also i will keep making his outfits cuntier if it kills me#what’s that post about how wyll is the only character you could realistically bring home without disaster
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Random tmi rant in the hash of tags bc I’m sad ab it
#I had to stop taking birth control today and I just got kind of sad when I turned off my alarm for the last time LMAO#I take the medication bc I have excruciating pain on my periods#but I am also deathly afraid and uncomfortable with Pap smears so since I won’t go in to get one they blocked my script so I can’t get-#-the rest of my years worth#so I have about 7 filled prescriptions of birth control that they just won’t let me have because I won’t come in for an appointment#and I guess on some level that makes sense bc like obviously you’re giving me a drug and if I’m not coming in to see you you can’t just-#-keep giving it to me#but on the other hand if you wouldn’t force me to get a Pap smear I would gladly come in and do every other part of the process to be able-#-to keep taking it#the entire reason I started taking it was bc the pain of my periods was making me pass out#and im not excited to go back to that#but the fact that that is more appealing to me than a Pap smear should say a lot about Pap smears and how the process needs to be changed#also don’t be coming up in here trying to convince me to go get a Pap smear#I have heard it all and im sick of hearing it#none of it changes my mind#it just makes me upset that people are trying to disregard my genuine issue with them#saying shit like ‘it’s not that bad’ is actually so shitty LMAO#like… TO YOU. TO YOU it’s ‘not that bad’#to me it is throw up sobbing shaking crying#idk if they would like fucking put me under I’d go get one#but you will not catch me getting a Pap smear awake#my ass doesn’t even put in tampons#now that’s the REAL tmi#anyways if you got from the end I’m using that men in black pen to erase all memories of you reading this
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How did Treasure Planet manage to come up with the greatest aesthetic in all human history? Victorian elegance plus space-age flair, with just enough dirt and grime and wear and tear to make it feel real? A combination of traditional and computer animation that perfectly embodies the movie's blend of old and futuristic? How does it get any better than that?
#treasure planet#turned it on on a whim#because sylvia's lovers put me in the mood for sailing ship vibes#and it turns out it fits in really well with the north and south space opera i've been thinking about again#it's really hard for me not to give thornton a giant beautiful space sailing ship#(no you can't do it! the point is that they're industrial and purely functional!)#also i've got another post brewing about how treasure planet is an excellent boy's adventure coming-of-age story#and we need more of those because i feel like the genre doesn't exist in the same way these days#but i'm not sure i could say what i mean without getting folks up in arms#so i'm keeping it to the tags
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Genuinely, and I mean this kindly, but learning to recognize bait and not engaging with it will change your fandom experience.
#once you realize : oh theyre just trying to rile me up and i dont care to give them a response#everything is less stressful#i keep seeing the same arguments rehashed every six or so months#i know a lot of people are new and dont know but the trolls youre arguing with do#theyre trying to burn yall out and send you packing#also i do think there is something very funny about someone spending all that time color coding a bait post#and no one engages with it like wow you tried#i understand the passion people feel AND at some point you gotta let it go#anyway i do feel like the best way to sustain longevity is to just block the tags/people who enrage you
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Actually, the bars aren't so bad anymore.
Think you can fix him? Read about his care instructions over at Tiger Tiger)
#Tiger Tiger#ludovica bonnaire#rakkatak ann#I thought I liked him (in a way he has a great design and is an effective antagonist) and *then* he licked the spit.#Now I need to create a lab to study him in. My god. He gives me hives. I need to see more of him NOW.#Something is wrong with him and it fascinates me.#He is everything I like in an antagonist. A little bit stupid and unintentionally funny while being a genuine threat.#I call him rat man they way I want to see him skitter around on the floor.#Call him rat man the way he might need a little cheerio snack and some enrichment.#I am so...so tired and I am struggling to keep the jokes train going.#Please continue to read Tiger Tiger! Every new reader fuels my energy gauge.#Sorry I've been missing so many days of posting. I'll try to make up with some extra posts this week!
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