#-> sorry for whatever the fuck this is btw. lol
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Freshman year Fabian loves his friends dearly but he still feels pressure to conform to what he’s been taught is perceived as cool and awesome and like, doesn’t openly want to be best friends with Riz because he’s a loser nerd. Which is mostly canon right? But then he grows into doing whatever the fuck he wants and making it cool because it’s him doing it later. I think that he also gets much more open in his affection towards his friends that aren’t rockstars (and at the time on the Owlbears), especially Riz, who is his best friend amongst best friends (or potentially more if you like Fabriz, but this isn’t a ship thing).
This is awesome for Fabian, but I like to think about how it feels from Riz‘s perspective? It happens suddenly. I mean it took a few sessions, and a few in game days, but he did drastically change over spring break. Which means the last day of school was "Fabian pretends not to be close to me in front of cool people. Which I get haha, that’s fine." and then the next school day afterwards was,,,,not that anymore. I think at parties and stuff Fabian would actively seek out Riz (if he’s there at all lol) after mingling with cool kids because he’s like wow that was fun I’m gonna talk to a person I like more than these guys now and Riz is just? Confused? Yes he understands what changed and this is awesome but it probably takes a while to get used to.
Fabian isn’t the biggest on self reflection, but after abandoning his macho champion persona I do think he would realise that he’s been a little shitty, sometimes. Which doesn’t really speak to what kind of person he is in my opinion, because there’s no one who acts shittier in interpersonal relationships than dumb insecure teenagers, and he fixes it! And I don’t know if he’d verbally apologise but he’d at least get his friends (again, especially Riz) a bunch of stuff and they could probably all tell what’s going on (except Gorgug who has a track record of shitty insight despite decent wisdom in theory). But also maybe he would say sorry, both being a bard and getting in touch with his elven roots would make him more, like, emotionally available I think. (Side note, I do believe most high elves are kinda stiff and suppressed etc. Look at the Abernants and associates. But Telemaine is all about poetry and really living life and self expression through dance. So I think that would positively influence Fabian.)
Oughhh Also Fabian wears the best friends forever necklace btw. It‘d probably still be mostly under his shirts or something but I swear to you he doesn’t take it off. They’re best friends forever fr (and he wore it before his no good very bad day and class change and stuff. He’s always liked it he just wouldn’t have admitted it before lol).
Oh speaking of post toxic masculinity Fabian, he should paint his nails. This is not related to anything I just like to think he would. Clear polish at least, nice and shiny :)
#rambling into the void#dimension 20#fantasy high#headcanons#fabian aramais seacaster#riz gukgak#maybe fabriz? idk
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#ed tw#-> sorry for whatever the fuck this is btw. lol#im trying. so hard. not to relapse. im trying so hard every single day but i dont. know. i dont know if i can do this right now but i dont#want to feel like these 2 months have been for nothing. i dont want to feel like a total fucking failure. i just want to be okay. i dont#want to sipiral and get So Fucking Bad again. i don't deserve that but also I Feel Like I Do. but i dont knkw why. i dont know. i just. feel#like i have no more control. and my food and my body is the only thing i know how to control. but i know i cant take out my insane person#thoughts n tendencies out on mysef because i know in like. 2 weeks ill look at this and be like Why Did I Feel Like That. i dont know.#i think im gonna go to bed now. love u all.
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Scus the //blood I was having feeling and decided the best solution was to dump Sesame in blood
And also Hauchie sweeping him off his feet because oh no
(And Sesame charm for myself hehe, maybe)
#ff#ffxiv#Sesame#Sidurgu#tiny rielle you can’t really see#I love him too btw he’s so funny#I just gotta learn how to draw his hair… also his armor is really cool#enjoying the black and the spikes#haurchefant#I’ve cursed Sesame by making Hauchie his first romance sorry my boy 🫡#you know now I think about it more it’s kinda fucked#so (lore time LMAOO) idk I guess Sesame more fell for him once the whole being hidden at Ishgard thing happens#and like throughout the little time they spent there it was all cute and whatever#and then he DIES#and Sesame is like#…? why.#ahem… anyways more thoughts on this AFTER I finish Heavensward LOL#ok I’m done rambling
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hello why is kaishin more popular than shinkai or what i mean is why bottom shinichi is like the most widely believed one? lol not really in the fandom just vaguely familiar with the anime from childhood it's just my mutuals likes this ship. i'd thought shinichi being the top would be more popular given his personality.
anon sorry for the late answer!!
imma be real honest with you, anon, i've loved the kidco dynamic since i was conan-sized but i only realized kaishin should be making out around 2021 so i don't know if i'm the best person to answer this question LOL BUT, i'll give you an answer!
tbh, i think for fandom shipping in general, the main character more often than not is the chosen bottom and whoever else is the other party is topping them. in japanese media especially, the ship names are mostly born from putting the kanji of their names together wherein the order of which indicates the seme and uke. since this happens early on, we kinda get stuck with that as the popular ship name whether you prefer the other way later on.
perhaps kaishin is more popular but not entirely by a lot compared to other ships where it's completely skewed to one side. i see a lot of shinkai too. ofc there are people who prefer one way over the other exclusively and that's completely fine!
personally, i think confining them into seme and uke or top and bottom does a great disservice to the kaishin dynamic because to me we should be looking at their sub-dom dynamic more and why they're actually peak switch sub and dom!!!!
that's fucking right kaishin is actually peak switch and i will die on this fucking hill!!!!!!!!!!
when you say shinichi would be the "obvious top," i'd like to assume in your heart you actually meant "the obvious dom" (LOL) but i think that could also apply to kaito.
i think the appeal of kaishin is the push and pull between them. the give and take. they're always trying to one-up each other. sometimes one pushes and the other gives way, sometimes it's the other way around.
i will be honest, perhaps switch pairings might just be my preference but I have never encountered a pairing that felt this completely equal in the switch department more than kaishin. like for other ships i'd sometimes be like, "yeah they switch but A is 70% more dom than B." But for kaishin I'm like, "oKAY THEY'RE 50/50 THEY'RE EQUALS THEY'RE PERFECT HALVES RAAAAAHHHH"
now how does this answer your question? well, i have no proof and im going off of vibes and like i said im no veteran in this ship fandom but, i think a lot of people do enjoy the other way around as you think it would've been. it's just that...it's something that can just be filed under the kaishin tag too. because it's basically the same sometimes. the only different thing is who's topping and bottoming. like sometimes i'm scrolling through twitter and i'd see art that's giving shinkai but it's tagged as kaishin and vice versa lol.
also personally i prefer calling them kaishin because i love the letter k and i associate the name shinkai more with makoto shinkai so every time i see people refer to kaishin as shinkai, my mind just conjures up an image of kaito, shinichi, and makoto shinkai together and i know that's fucking hilariously weird but it sometimes happens!!!! LMAO so even if i'm thinking about shinkai stuff, i still prefer using the name kaishin lol.
(but having the kaishin/shinkai distinction is definitely still useful especially for people who want to filter through one way or the other so fuck yeah to the ship name shinkai you're here to stay!!!)
anyway in conclusion, top shinichi is popular too dw lol, or maybe i should say bottom kaito is popular too lol i see yalls
also sorry that this answer is not only late but also a whole essay that doesn't even straightforwardly answer your question lol my bad anon
#replies#dc prattles#anon if you're out there.....im sorry this is late af lol it was hard to gather my thoughts#ALSO KAISHIN PEAK SWITCH BABEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#also didnt mean to dunk on seme uke and top bottom but like im tireeeeed of it!!!!! like yeah it's fun dont get me wrong and sometimes it's#easier to just put characters into easy boxes like these#but!!!!!!!!!!!!#kaishin is much too complex for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#their very appeal is how they're both opposites but similar!!!!#they are not a linear contrast they are a juxtaposition in a loop!!!!!! i love them too much to not explore their nuances and intricacies!!#also i wanted to say another thing about the main character being the bottom frequently but i have no facts to back it up just vibes LOL#but i think since main characters are mostly designed for us to like them#we do end up liking them so much so that we just want to sometimes hug and comfort them#and idk i feel like being taken care of and comforted is mostly associated with people who bottom#(which btw i rly think sometimes people mean sub when they say bottom lol)#ANYWAYS i have no proof of that tho just vibes so take it with a grain of salt#also anon.....when you ask why the majority prefers a specific character to bottom.....sometimes there's no deep reason ngl like#sometimes they just want their faves to get fucked and that's okay too LMAO#btw guys i do enjoy shinkai i just like calling it kaishin anyways lmaooooo im sorry i know im ruining the archiving of kaishin but i just!#makoto shinkai existed in my mind before gay thief and detective kissing each other im sorry!!!!!!#5cm per second destroyed me okay!!!!!!#yeah also im not tagging this with ksn/snk i dont want to be perceived that much by people who will disagree lol i said i'd fight yall#for peak switch kaishin but like who tf cares honestly as long ur having fun with whatever version of kaishin you want kaishin to be then#you're good to go#anon
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IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT ALHAITHAM AND KAVEH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
i love this fuckin argument kaveh and alhaitham have on the port ormos bulletin board
it's one of those instances where kaveh and alhaitham are arguing and alhaitham is saying that like, while he disagrees with kaveh lol, he also doesnt deny theres truth to what kaveh says.
but i also think it's funny how alhaitham is like "end of conversation. ALSO-" like bitch you kept going IMMEDIATELY fkjsjfklds and then that stupid bit where theyre like "he said this" "he did not fucking say that" "he did" "no he didnt fuck you" "he did give me a month ill prove it!!!!" THEYRE FIGHTING LIKE CHILDREN ON A PUBLIC MESSAGE BOARD😭😭😭
also i have this one bit stuck forever in my mind from kavehs hang out
[video source i screenshot from]
MAYBE im reading into it way too much bc i have terminal haikaveh brain. maybe. BUT!!!! art is subjective i can do what i want :^) anyway i think a lot about this part because TO ME it sounds like kaveh keeps assuming the worst from alhaitham - makes sense, they argue all the time and they def have a turbulent relationship. HOWEVER!!!!! while alhaitham does like poking fun at kaveh and gets annoyed with him dskjfdsklf i FEEL LIKE theres an implication that he like, does not enjoy seeing kaveh suffer the way kaveh just assumes he does.
like here, kaveh is like oh, youre not hoping to see me make a fool of myself are you >:(?? just bc alhaitham was like. in a location unexpectedly. lol. and then alhaithams phrasing is just so specific where he like, doesnt say yes but doesnt say no either lol. hes like "oh so you think i get joy from seeing you in pain day in and day out? well if that were true id be entertained always because youre always in distress"
but like. I DUNNO MAYBE IM BEING STUPID BUT JKSDLFJDKL to ME it felt like he was deflecting the question. to be fair it was a silly question so maybe alhaitham didnt think it worth answering lololol but like "are you here to watch me struggle" "why do you assume i enjoy you struggling" is the vibe i get. but then with bullying also bc alhaitham is still poking at him and his distresses lol jdkslfdskl
and then like the moment the traveler is about to be like "kavehs feeling sad" and kaveh tries to deflect it, i personally think alhaitham managed to come up with a distraction to get kaveh to walk away for a minute so he could hear about kavehs troubles bc hes IMMEDIATELY LIKE
ok now that hes gone tell me about kaveh and his issues. and then goes on to explain kaveh and his behavior
and there are SEVERAL INSTANCES i mean this is an obvious thing lol but like, many such cases where kaveh and alhaitham will be like "yeah this guy is incredibly smart but his personality is fucking unbearable" i just enjoy that as much as they rag on each other theyre still like "no he is a genius though im not gonna deny that" AND ALSO [help]
alhaitham says stuff like this a few times, i think hes got a teapot line or so where he says similar things 🤔 but hes like "yeah people go about their lives doing different things and thats fine everyone should stay in their lane as long as theyre not disrupting the lives of others" AND YET!!!!!!!!!!!! he and kaveh endlessly fight with each other on how they go about their lives. trying to get the other to see their way of thinking even though i think they both acknowledge [or it says somewhere in the lore that they do] that it is a losing battle bc theyre both really set in how they see things and their methods of doing things. I JUST FIND IT REALLY INTERESTING that alhaitham is like, "mind your business and ill mind my business what ever bye" but when it comes to kaveh hes like. no actually i have to debate you. the way you feel isnt wrong however your actions make your life really hard for yourself and you could be living better if you changed" like he cannot stay in his lane when kaveh is involved!!!!! and like the whole reason he's even IN the parade of providence event at all was bc he was pursuing a thread of research that he figured out was connected to kavehs dad and his disappearance!!! mister "i dont want to get involved if it doesnt disrupt my life" got involved to give his boy some closure on the haunting of his dead father!!!!!!!!!! I am going to explode now goodbye!!!!
#SORRY i post extremely long rambles about haikaveh when i KNOW most people that follow me do NOT give a shit about genshin#i like like. maybe 5 people do#and also a lot of the stuff i say will in fact be repeated things#and like. stuff that is old news LOL me when i discover air or whatever idk leave me be#i need to process my feelings via word vomiting thats what tumblr is FOR!!!!!#if i cant directly dm spam one or two people about Character then i have to do it on tumblr#and make it everyone else's problem#fuckin. god. when alhaitham was released i only summoned for him on a whim#bc my FRIEND was like wow i really want this new guy#and i was like ooo looks fun ill try too#and hes like one of my best dps units actually lol hes SO strong#and im fucking obsessed with him and kaveh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im glad i pulled for them both and got them when they first released!!!#i think i only got kaveh too bc i had really wanted baizhu#who is a fuckin great healer btw. theyre my dendro trio teehee#IM IN THIS GENSHIN VORTEX ALONE bc everyone else i know that plays is on a break or doesnt care or w/e#so im like ok fine. ill just descend into madness about characters BY MYSELF!!!!!!#and by that i mean i will post on tumblr dot com talking to my self#which is what i used to do anyway. ive returned to my roots my default state of habits#holding haikaveh so firmly in my hands YOU DONT UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAND#actually it's one of the most popular ships in the game so. im sure many people understand. probs understand better than i do tbh#however? im on an island.
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I hateeee how asoiaf has just become the "incest books lol" to so many people. what a dumb and reductive way to look at a series that has so much more like. of all the things you could say are the central themes of asoiaf incest in not one of them lmao.(yes obviously it's present, but not nearly as much as people make it out to be) And this isn't about people who havent read it and are just judging from the outside bc who gives a shit about them. But I see this mostly from fans and its just??? what the fuck did you read/watch lmao. I mean even hotd which centers around thee incest family isnt about the incest and you'd have to have negative media literacy to think it is.
Also it's fucking insane how being uncomfortable with incest shipping gets you ridiculed in this fandom lmao. like I'm not here to be the morality police ship whatever the fuck you want idc. but dont be surprised when it makes people uncomfortable??? "ummm if you dont like incest why are you reading the incest books/watching the incest show??? weirdo" I dont fucking know man maybe all the other 348593 interesting things it's about. just a guess. And these are the same people who go on about "well just bc you write something fucked up doest mean you agree with it" which. yes! true!! then why do you uncritically endorse targ incest blood purity 😭 do you think maybe that's one of the things grrm wrote that he doesnt agree with? of course not, hotd is a cautionary tale about the dangers of not doing incest and what happens when you let your pure valyrian blood be contaminated by gross peasant genes from outside your family ^_^ obviously ^_^ and anyone who's not into your incest ships is a bigot <3 "but it's normal in their world!1!11!!!" no its not lol. and even if it was. marrying children is also normal in their world what's your point
#.txt#asoiaf#incest cw#'the gods hate incest. Look how they brought down the Targaryens' <- chracter who clearly thinks incest is normal#btw with incest i mostly mean siblings here. bc cousins seems to be pretty normal for them. but there's a big difference lol#its normal for the targs and that's it#and even then. man it would have been so interesting to explore targ incest as psychological horror rather that 'perfect uwu babies'#like imagine being a kid showing normal affection to your sibling and your parents are like. omg someone's in love <3#thats so fucked up and interesting to me!! but no instead we get 'and baegel married his sistercousin and they lives happily ever after <3'#btw i wanna make it clear im not clutching my pearls at people who think incest in asoiaf is interesting#or like it in a 'wow that's fucked up. more' kinda way#but man the 'uwu incest romance' people are so annoying lol. daemon is a malewife sure whatever make everything boring#also i think its gross lmao but again ship what you want idc#especially when its not canon like. why do you want extra incest 🤨#im so tired of seeing helaemond everywhere jfc leave them aloneeee. aemond is a freak but not in that way -_-#lucemond also. die#cringe ass ship names btw -_-#sorry for the rant i dont like to get too serious but this annoys me so baddd#anyway f&b was a mistake
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guys what if i.....stopped trying
#its so weird i have like a 61% in geometry aka a failing grade. and i just fucked up a test we did. and i genuinely dont care#or do i care and im just trying not to#i mean its my fault i failed i didnt stify#i have literally never had to before so idfk its hard to adjust maybe??#same with that chem quiz i totally fucked it up#i just. idk. whatever#all i wanna do is stay in my room and eat as much as i can and idkkkk#i probably do care cuz we have a test next week for chem and i might study for it#mm. but maybe not#hh ig i will cuz ik i should i just dont care idk. kinda tired all the time nowadays lol#im pretty sure i dont have depression btw i think this kinda sounds like it?? like the only thing im losing is my ability to care abt#things that would make me nervous or upset. i still get very overly excited over like a.ce a.ttorney or smth#idk but. yeah ive been pretty tired. maybe im just burnt out i think im being dramatic lol all my problems are very self inflicted#yeah. sorry its sad girl hrs ill delete this later#vent#misty muses
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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there
#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru#but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days#and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing#i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail#i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time#not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me#im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me#anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early#i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great#and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most#expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth#but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans#but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated#about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like#u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends#w yall. things happen#abby talks#and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw#a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes#OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it#was years ago but also like christ!
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//the south park fandom needs to wake back up bc i'm feeling annoying ✨️
#misc :: ( ooc )#//river: well you are! hope this helps! x#//JDKAJDKKDKSJFG#//THIS IS A JOKE BTW#//but also not lol#//LIKE I KNOW THERE ARE STILL AND WILL ALWAYS BE ACTIVE PEOPLE IN THE SP FANDOM#//AND THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY MINDS TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT#//my brain is just obnoooooxxxiiiioooouuuusssss#//me rolling into people's dms like hiiiiii i know you have new hyperfixation! :3#//i fucking don't tho!! 💖#//so here's the same 3 guys again 💕#//let's go back to talking about your lil guys you don't care about atm 💖#//literally flashbacks to high school when my best friend at the time told me to shut up#//bc i had accidentally talked about one of my interests for a month straight lmfao#//my mom also criticized me once for being ''socially awkward''#//bc i only wanted to talk about dumb stuff like the implications of certain character expressions in fanboy & chum chum#//and not how people's day was or whatever HKSJWKUDJ#//one of my writing partners left for a YEAR and i'm fucking. still on south park#//like wow i really am the most insufferable bitch alive huh 💕#//if you've ever messaged me about your day and i didn't respond#//and then i messaged you later about south park#//sorry lmfao#//I WILL NEVER CHANGE I WILL NEVER IMPROVE THAT IS A PROMISE
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i have planned to write a pseudo-essay or some kind of detailed look at linebeck in phantom hourglass and how he can be interpreted as autistic but thats not going very well right now so here are some autistic linebeck headcanons
He has low empathy and as such has a hard time responding very well to emotional situations, but he can take advantage of his lower empathy in situations where empathy could make things harder, like tending to wounds or rationally handling emotionally-charged situations
His coat is a comfort object and he made it specifically to act as a very slight accommodation; it’s heavy and barely lets any light through it, and he can keep all kinds of little things in pockets sewn into the inner lining, but larger objects do make it more uncomfortable to wear at times. It’s mostly good to carry around things to fidget or stim with and can be helpful in trying to recover from overwhelming sensory experiences
He doesn’t usually stim in public, but taps his fingers on tables quickly and tends to rhythmically snap his fingers when excited, and on his ship is more vocal and more willing to stim, even if around others. One of his main stims that he’ll do for no particular reason is that he’ll hold his arm or back of his wrist/hand up to his nose and mouth for the smell.
He masks frequently to please people. His default mask is that arrogant and brave front he puts up for islanders and other he may come across. Usually, if that mask doesn’t work, he tends to double-down because it usually works and, in his experience, dropping the mask has usually gone badly (non masking he’s rude and blunt but more outwardly excited about adventure and his ship and all of that, i consider it where overseas in the game is when he usually isn’t masking. this shifts his arc to be about him learning to stop masking and feel comfortable being himself)
His special interests could include stuff related to treasure hunting but it could really range from stuff about adventuring or the ocean or engineering (relating to his ship) to stuff not at all touched in the game like music. He really enjoys music, listening to it, playing it, and writing it. He also enjoys and is fascinated by shellfish.
When busy or otherwise occupied, he doesn't usually notice when he's hungry. He doesn't have as much of a problem noticing thirst or exhaustion, but feeling hunger is a problem for him, and often leads to him going a long time without eating. On the other hand, he doesn't mind eating the same thing repeatedly and is perfectly fine with blander foods, so handling food supplies for when he'll be overseas for a long time is easy for him.
He knows he's autistic, he's known for a pretty long time, and he has books on it; he also knows that Link is autistic, but doesn't say anything about it and instead waits until someone else tells him. Until (and after, I suppose) Link actually learns that he's autistic Linebeck just makes sure to keep note of what accommodations he might need and if there are any textures or tastes or smells he can't stand. He doesn't have much of a problem helping out during sensory overloads, even soon after meeting him. It's more out of understanding how it feels to not have your needs met and a sort of solidarity rather than actual friendship.
#loz#legend of zelda#phantom hourglass#linebeck#OBVIOUSLY he experiences some nasty rsd and he's a bitch about it that's like. basically canon so i didnt mention it#a lot of linebeck’s autism is based and referenced off of my own with some extra additions#which is why i have an easier time writing him as autistic than link#kindness is a choice and having low or no empathy does not in any way make someone heartless but linebeck does abuse his own low empathy#to be a mean bitch with minimal emotional consequences#i think linebeck would call link a dipshit to his face and then not feel bad about it for like a few weeks until he starts caring abt him#linebeck stimming by smelling his arm is actually my main stim. its probably why i sit all fucked up bc i sometimes do it w/ my legs lol#the masking bit does kinda fuck some stuff up but i personally enjoy that take on him#one of his comfort objects is an old orange cat plushie named copernicus and if you know what that is specifically from thank you im sorry#linebeck being way into music has no canon backup i just like the idea of him playing piano and composing some form of his own theme#piano is a mad sensory experience btw i dont yet know how to really play it but when i did keyboard in pit it was a fantastic feeling#bangin' out the tunes. it was a really good sort of stim if i was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the new tech and music too#salty talks#not entirely an autism headcanon but he thinks gender is a sham and less identifies as a man and more specifically considers#his gender identity to be 'real man of the sea' which is initially kinda silly but kind of a fucking gender move tbh#i dont think he's explicitly trans or nb he's just having fun fucking with his own gender and doing whatever he feels like doing#he isnt a man but he is a man. kind of like how im a dude but also not. yeah.#these were initally going to be call 'quick' headcanons but you can see why i uh. didn't end up going with that
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YES my username on yt is a blood bros reference :33 i need to go to crimes world again i know in my heart and soul that i love her but i seldom show her attention .. i need to care her more ..
HOOFRAY!!!! also pretty please do!!!!!!! for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#such a good album it is Insane that like. you never really see it talked about outside of certain spaces#and even then it was originally derided for being much less heavy than its predecessors#such a smart album lyrically and even in just like certain songs like peacock skeleton with crooked feathers#which btw is my go-to song to introduce people 2 them#for obvious reasons. the way the vocals play off each other#the keyboard#aforementioned lyrics because man they’re good at writing political lyrics that are simultaneously very pointed and relevant to this day#and also just plain fun. the way they word stuff rolls off the tongue very well#which I suppose is very much in part to Whitney being a very literary guy from what I’ve read up about him#SPEAKING OF!!!!! Jesus Christ the vocals. the vocals#(positive)#very very powerful for a guy who was like…. 21-22 at the time of recording I’d reckon?#I know whitney’s vocals are a turn off for the band for most people but imo? it’s one of the main appeals. 2 me he is like an insanely good#vocalist. almost jealous that he can hit those notes as a cis guy and I can’t cause omfg in like. wolf party near the end#HOW DOES A GUY MANAGE THAT…..#I love how they incorporated elements of other genres in it. like I don’t see them as indie rock like people#for whatever reason#like to describe them as in that album#but you can hear the elements. bringing up wolf party again cause nick zinner did some of the guitar in that and he’s in an indie band no?#yeah yeah yeahs or whatevs. they’re cool seeming I should check ‘em out#ALSO sorry I kind of glossed over Blilie. he’s really fucking good in the album obvs!!!!#pretty sure he did the album art which. omfg it’s had an aesthetic chokehold on me as of late#and also just. he has a nice voice#the sort of warbley thing he has and also his screams… goated#contrary to my posting#I’m actually a bliliegirl I’d consider myself lol. Whitney happens to also have a psychic chokehold on me#this is obvious. I go by Johnny and want to go blonde HMMMMM I WONDER WHY..#my bad for rambling in tags I just. I love that album so deeply#it’s very meaningful to my identity and songs like the title track and beautiful horses just. get me right at my core#evil neighing compilation
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ive decided that generally on principle im not even going to think abt whether im in love w girl im dating bc like. she's not even my girlfriend it doesn't matter if we're "in love" or whatever but also i just.... think it all the time and someday im gonna just fucking say it fully accidentally like she said something last night and my like. first instinct was to be like "haha yeah but i love u anyways" and i didn't say it (thank god) but it took me like. a full minute to be like oh glad i didn't go w that response 😭😭
#me: not gonna think abt if im in love with her#also me in my head like every time we kiss and also say goodbye and also hug and also: i love u#if i said it accidentally like that she'd be like What and id be like 🧍🧍lol oops#she said it once really early on and i think she meant it in a like. not necessarily a romantic way but i was like 😀 haha#and kind of ignored it and she was like oh okay then and i was like what :) and she never said it again lol#it wasn't that weird we had a conversation before that where i was like yeah that's fine i say it to my friends or whatever#and then she said it and i was just immediately like oh actually it's different i can't respond to that 😭😭#but yeah anyways if she ever brought it up or said it or anything i think i would kind of be like#sorry can't be in love with someone who's not my girlfriend 😭😭😭😭 lol#can't get my heart broken if im not in love w her 🤷#thinking like this is how i forgot i was gay btw#bc i was like yeah i am definitely but like just not going to think abt it and then i had to go thru the whole thing again#kind of funny#this is an example of one of those posts i would NOT show her or want her to see btw if that's not super fucking obvious
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Y'know I come across like, self-deprecating stuff in my archive and I think about deleting it and I'm deciding against it because it's kind of a reminder of how far I've come y'know? From the 13 year old who didn't think she'd make it to 16, to the 15 year old who got so depressed they didn't think they'd make it to 16, to the 16 year old who thought he wouldn't make it until 18, to me now, 19, being excited at the prospect of being 20! Hey Andy!!! Things got better like people said they would!! Isn't that so cool?? You found your name, your friends, what you want to do, what you enjoy doing, you want to live more than anything now. You're doing your best and I know it's hard that no one seems to recognise it but you're gonna make it through no matter how bleak it all seems!! You're doing good, and you're going to do better. I do not miss being you.
#sorry sorry it's 5am I'm sappy posting about child me again#people are too fucking mean about teenagers still btw#Like the other month I saw a post that was like 'reblog when you went through your hardest experience'#and someone on there tagged '15. only a few days ago but yeah' and OP reblogged the tags being like 'Sorry but this is so funny'#like hey. I'm an adult now. not for long yet but like. I would still point to -#- Whatever the fuck happened between the ages of 14 - 16 as the hardest years of my life.#and seeing that just. how normalised it is to shit on teenagers feelings still like. god.#yeah needless to say I did NOT like that post#I know I have some younger people following me and I need you all to know that your feelings are so fucking real.#And it really sucks that you still exist in a society that still dismisses you the way it does. You'll make it through#gwahhh okay okay back to what I was doing lol#(should be going to bed but it's not o7)#Android.txt
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basically im gonna start just putting 'dni if you define gender categories as men and non-men' and move on lol. like just be open and proud that you do not respect multigender people and, more importantly, people whose genders sit outside of the western colonial gender binary entirely, and stop pretending. like just decide whether im a man or a woman to you personally and sit on one side of the fence. if you are unwilling to conceptualize gender without a binary in there - even a reinvented binary that makes just enough space for you but not me lol - then fit me in the binary. im serious. if you think "everyone is either a man, or a not-man" is anything but a reinvention of "everyone is either a man or a woman" but awkwardly shifted to try and add nonbinary people to one side, then put that framework into use and misgender me. i am actively asking you to. you do not get to handwave me away as just an exception to your good new gender binary, or to try and say i fit into both groups when you are literally defining them by being mutually exclusive.
decide if im a man or a woman to you, treat me accordingly. ONLY treat me as one or the other, and do not switch it up when its convenient for you. just misgender me. i think its kinder.
#long post#vent#sorry im still high and annoyed bc ive been saying this same shit for like a year or two or whatever#oh btw when i said ppl whos gender are outside of the western colonial system i DONT mean me#i am colonized enough that i have no sources on how my people saw gender pre colonization so im just stuck w the colonialist framework 🤪#my point is moreso that i believe people w cultural/pre-colonial/decolonized (idk which terms are best sorry) genders who also are impacted#by this forcible translation of their gender into the western standard only to have it then used against them#is particularly fucked up like. in a way that i dont experience#but yeah needed to spell it out like.#when i described the framework of gender which i believe is regressive and also cannot allow my gender in any meaningful way?#YES that includes men vs non-men bs.#if you agree with that shit that is binarist thinking which hurts other trans ppl and ppl whose genders dont fit that reductive vision.#so when i said 'people who will 100% say they agree w my gender but ultimately can only let me be my gender by crushing it into place'#n all that shit?#if you use that 'non-men' shit or similar stuff. i do mean you. i was asking you to consider that your view of gender is reductive#and rooted in binarism.#like idk how to make it clearer lol#if you are surface level agreeing but youre still going to choose to view gender thru this binary lens then misgender me.#its one or the other. but you cannot have both here. you cannot hold views on gender that are based in denying my gender means anything#while also claiming you respect me.#97
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Give me a headcanon about a random Tangled character that not a lot of people talk about
since it's canon in the tangled show that eugene speaks fluent italian and has things to steal in italy i think he stole this
#sorry saw the chance to be cheeky and i took it#anyways i think it would be funny if feldspar is named that bc at least one of his parents was a geologist#and then he just fucked off and made shoes or whatever#asks#tangled#ty for the ask btw lol
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#sometimes i forget that . i am not immume to my.good things corrupting me#this is embarrassing sctuslly ..getting fuckign Anxious over a venus kazimi like.#dawg calm down oh my.god . ur gonna be fine. everything.sill be fine lol#for the greater good (my mental health)#but my god ppl om the internet know how to word things that do infact trigger me#n i can never tellcif i am being sensitive or not n i so infact .#it doesnt matter n yet . im crippling in fear over this shit ONCE again. for the rexord#i have bren doing my best toclike stay off the internet . it was doing my head in#but . anyeay whatever. its fjne im having a bad day apparently#n im staying home for wtv reason like . i wanna go out but im just .#i wanna try n save this money n get my cwllo fixed .#its the one thinf on my list im desperate tovget done#bc everything else will fsll into place after that . bc ill have something else i dnjoy to do w my time#n atm i want nothing more thsn tovjust practice . fuck the sheet music in tbe othet stuff i gotta organise#im . yea sorry .#WAITT my sister got a ptinter . i can print the sheet music i have ready to go.#besides im sure if i look hard enough i can find . my folder w my ensemblr worm#i have thought abt conquistador daily btw . she was so fun tocplay ah :(#n going out also means . Not e tirely sure if ill b awake before 1pm . bc this placr closes at like 2.#so . i do have to go to bed realtively early if i wanna do this . n i do. im biting thr bullet#im impuslivd but not when itll benefit me. go figure. anyway. i have just enough. ill be Fine .#worst case . my dad has these awful tailors i can chop up#and he can also buy my grocrties this week 👩🦯#worst case . i fkgure itnout somehow. i always do but . i gotta bite the bulley on this i cannot do this anymore#i need something else to occupy my time. n this is the one thinf i knoe for sure will be worth the investment#bc if not. i can literally just Sell it for like $300 (if its worth rven That lol)#like shes a good cello but damn shes dinged up and xhipped. im not paying for that to b fixed#it adds character.
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