#//literally flashbacks to high school when my best friend at the time told me to shut up
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//the south park fandom needs to wake back up bc i'm feeling annoying ✨️
#misc :: ( ooc )#//river: well you are! hope this helps! x#//JDKAJDKKDKSJFG#//THIS IS A JOKE BTW#//but also not lol#//LIKE I KNOW THERE ARE STILL AND WILL ALWAYS BE ACTIVE PEOPLE IN THE SP FANDOM#//AND THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY MINDS TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT#//my brain is just obnoooooxxxiiiioooouuuusssss#//me rolling into people's dms like hiiiiii i know you have new hyperfixation! :3#//i fucking don't tho!! 💖#//so here's the same 3 guys again 💕#//let's go back to talking about your lil guys you don't care about atm 💖#//literally flashbacks to high school when my best friend at the time told me to shut up#//bc i had accidentally talked about one of my interests for a month straight lmfao#//my mom also criticized me once for being ''socially awkward''#//bc i only wanted to talk about dumb stuff like the implications of certain character expressions in fanboy & chum chum#//and not how people's day was or whatever HKSJWKUDJ#//one of my writing partners left for a YEAR and i'm fucking. still on south park#//like wow i really am the most insufferable bitch alive huh 💕#//if you've ever messaged me about your day and i didn't respond#//and then i messaged you later about south park#//sorry lmfao#//I WILL NEVER CHANGE I WILL NEVER IMPROVE THAT IS A PROMISE
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According to this tweet from Endo, today's new chapter will be the final installment of the "Henry x Martha backstory" arc...and it definitely went out on a high note! The part where Martha meets Henry's wife was absolutely heartbreaking...in particular the below page, starting with an upside down view of the scene, showing how the world is literally warping for Martha, followed by shards and shreds of her various memories with Henry, all the while the "throb, throb" of her heart is overlaying all the panels. Definitely one of Endo's best portrayals of a truly shocking moment.
It's also interesting that we never see Lucia's face, despite her having a big panel when she first appears.
Endo has done this before with other characters, Loid's parents being the other big example. We also never see their faces, despite them appearing several times during his flashback arc.
With the few examples we've had, to me it seems like Endo hides the faces of characters who 1) appear as flashbacks only and 2) who have had a significant emotional impact on the character whose memories they appear in, but at the same time, that character has since done their best to get over the painful memories associated with them. So they basically represent some past trauma for the character (even if they don't necessarily dislike them) but in the current time, they've more or less left that part of their past behind. Hence why their faces are obscured in the character's memories. This is also why I think we'll never see Loid's parents or Lucia's faces outside of flashbacks. This is just my interpretation of course, and I'm curious if there will be more examples in other characters' flashback arcs.
But back to Henry and Martha, I also liked the fact that, despite her broken heart, Martha still saw Lucia as a good person and became friends with her. Henry seems to love her as well. This actually ties back very well to what Martha tells Becky at the end of her story about how dangerous it is to latch onto preconceptions and prejudices without knowing the truth.
In Becky's simple world, she would see Lucia as the "evil seductress who stole Henry away" and Martha has to get him back. But as Martha said, things aren't always that simple and don't always adhere to our preconceived notions. Sometimes things can't end up exactly how you want or expect, so you have to be grateful for what you have and see things as they truly are, despite living with lingering regrets. In fact, this whole speech from Martha at the conclusion of her flashback was extremely deep and profound. Not many people can write both comedy and drama so well, but Endo is certainly one of them.
Also, is this Wiesel's first appearance? Still waiting for the doggy play date chapter with Wiesel, Bond, Max, and Aaron! 🐶
Since it's been so long since I read the first chapter of this arc, I couldn't remember if Martha had actually revealed the identity of her lover in her story, but makes sense that she didn't. I can imagine Becky storming into school yelling at Henderson and causing total embarrassment for all 😅 Funny that she almost guessed correctly though.
I'm surprised we never found out how Martha started working for the Blackbells, but that's an easy enough mystery to solve - she needed work after the wars were over, and being a bodyguard suited an ex-soldier. Also seems like she never told Henry her true feelings either...maybe by the time Lucia died, it was too late and they had both grown somewhat apart by then, and/or they had some additional falling outs about Martha joining the other wars, etc. It just wasn't meant to be and the message of the story was Martha coming to terms with that and being wiser for it.
In conclusion, this was a great arc that really shows Endo's range as a writer who can do both comedy and drama very well. Despite Henry and Martha being side characters, I have a feeling that the struggles they experienced will have relevance later in the series. But for now, I look forward to seeing the Forgers and other characters again (and getting back to the last major uproar of Anya telling Damian about her powers...seems like ages ago, lol). Endo will be taking a well deserved break, so the next new chapter will be on August 19th!
I also have some new posts planned in the coming weeks, so stay tuned for those as well 😀
#spy x family#sxf#spy family#spyxfamily#henry henderson#martha marriott#becky blackbell#sxf manga#sxf manga spoilers#sxf spoilers
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✮ I WAS BLIND TO SEE
pairing: chris sturniolo × female!reader
synopsis: in which y/n spent years begging chris to let her into his heart, but he was unrelenting, so eventually she gave up. but after years of her pining helplessly, chris realizes that he grew to love her back and races against the clock to get her back.
warnings: swearing, lowkey toxic!chris, angst for like majority of the fic, oblivious!reader, oblivious!chris, mentions of alcohol, justin’s lowkey a dick, chris is a literal fucking dumbass, i love the whole “idiots in love” trope.
THIRD PERSON POV
it was no shocker to find out how deep y/n's love for chris ran, after all she had been in love with him since they were sophmores in high school. she loved every single thing there was to love about him, and the less lovable things, she understood where they stemmed from.
she had a very deep connection with him, they had been the closet out of him, his brothers, and her. he could turn to her for anything, and vice versa. however, there was one issue.
chris didn't reciprocate the love she felt. he expressed numerous times to anyone who asked, that she was his best friend, nothing more. he saw her as the female extension of him and his brothers.
the only person he couldn't tell that to though, was her. so instead of letting her down easy, he ignored it. and that caused more problems than he saw coming. because of his naturally flirty nature, it filled the girl with false hope, it led her to believe that maybe her feelings were returned.
no one was able prepare for the inevitable fallout that occurred when chris' feelings, or lack thereof, came to light.
FLASHBACK
chris was sitting at his desk when nick knocked on his door, he welcomed him into his room with a barely discernible "come in."
"chris we gotta talk." nick muttered, standing in the doorway with his arms folded and a frustrated look on his face.
"what's up?" chris sighed, rolling his eyes as he turned in his gaming chair to face the older triplet.
"you need to tell y/n about the way you feel, well the way you don't feel."
"why? it's not like i'm hurting her." chris scoffed, not really wanting to break his best friend's heart.
"chris, she literally just spent an hour talking to me on facetime about how she wants to confess her feelings to you directly because instead of being honest, you're playing into her feelings! i can't keep giving her advice and getting her hopes up knowing that you are just going to crush her."
"whatever nick, i'll talk to her later."
and so, when y/n came by later that day, she gathered the nerve to tell chris with a shaky breath and unsteady hands.
"chris can we talk?"
"yeah what's up?" chris hummed, knowing very well where this was going, and despite the fact that he was just about to break her heart, he felt some sort of twisted pride stir in his chest. he liked knowing that someone so close to him was pining for him, it made him feel powerful, and he hated that it made him feel that way. it truly disgusted him.
"i know this probably isn't a secret by any means but i've got feelings for you. like 'i'm in love with you' feelings and i don't know if i've been reading into things too much or if i've read into them correctly but it seems like you return them, or at least act like you do and if that's the case, i'm glad i told you. and if i've read them completely wrong, i'm about to feel like the biggest fool possible." y/n rambled, breathing out a nervous laugh as chris' eyes bore into hers.
"listen y/n, you're a great girl. any guy would be lucky to be loved by you the way you love me but i'm sorry, i don't see you that way. i know i've fed into your feelings and your flirting, and it makes me feel like such a jackass but i didn't know how to tell you and i really didn't want to break your heart. you're my best friend and i would give anything to return your feelings but i don't and it wouldn't be fair for me to pretend i do." chris whispered, his heart tearing in two as he watched the hurt and horror flash in her eyes as she realized that she had read everything wrong. his arms slowly slid around her shoulders, pulling in her into him, or at least in attempt to.
"no. you don't get to hug me after you just admitted that you played with my feelings. you literally just contradicted yourself, the fuck do you mean 'it wouldn't be fair to pretend to return your feelings." that's exactly what you did! god this was a mistake." she spat, turning on her heels and making her way up the stairs leading from chris' room. she grabbed her jacket off the back of one of the dining room chairs and left without so much as a word.
and that was the last that chris had heard from her until they ended up back in boston at the same time.
FLASHBACK OVER
y/n sighed as she made her up the sturniolos' driveway. her family had agreed to a huge family dinner with the triplets' family and she was dreading having to see chris. she was on perfectly fine terms with nick and matt, they had actually grown closer. y/n just refused to be an active presence and figure in chris' life. whenever she wanted to hang out, it’d be away from their house. away from chris.
knocking on the door, a small smile pulled at her lips. she missed mary-lou and jimmy, she hadn't had much time to see them since going back home, she had just been busy with other things, and the fact that she was slightly avoiding them because she had a feeling chris or one of his brothers told them about what had happened.
"y/n! my sweet girl i've missed you." mary-lou cooed as she opened the door, pulling her into a tight embrace.
"i've missed you too, i'm sorry i haven't come by yet, i've been busy." the girl pouted slightly, feelings guilty for staying away for as long as she had.
"busy ignoring a certain boy of mine?" the older woman teased gently, being fully aware of what had gone down and her heart hurt for the young girl. she knew what chris felt, she could see in his eyes when he spoke about his former best friend, a mother always knows. she also knows that chris just hasn't been made aware of the fact that he feels the same as y/n once did.
as mary-lou led y/n up the stairs and into the dining room where the sturniolos' and y/n's parents sat, y/n felt her chest grow tight as all eyes, including chris' fell on her.
"hey everyone, sorry i'm late." she laughed, returning the hug that jimmy pulled her into as he stood up.
"don't worry about it, we're just glad you showed up." jim smiled down at her as she took her place between justin and her mother, unfortunately across from chris.
chris' forced his gaze to his lap as he fiddled with his fingers, ever since the night he turned her down, a strange feeling had been stirring and beating relentlessly in the pit of his stomach, he almost felt like he had made a mistake rejecting her.
as the dinner went on, chris was determined to meet her gaze but she was just as determined to not look at him, in fear that she would crumple into a sobbing wreck. she tried to move on but it was hard when he had already held her heart for so long. she feared that she would never love someone the way she loved and still deep down, loves him.
after the dinner had finished, the adults gathered in the living room, talking about shit their kids didn't care about or had heard a million times already, so the rest of them moved to the deck, all claiming a chair as their own while justin grabbed a beer for all of them.
"so mousey, whatcha been up to, like really? seeing anybody?" justin hums, watching the twenty year old girl that he considered his baby sister shift awkwardly in her chair.
"quit calling me that." y/n groans, rolling her eyes at the nickname that justin had given her back when she was in elementary school, she was so quiet compared to his brothers that he referred to her as a mouse which led to him branding her "mousey."
"and before you ask again, i've seen a couple guys here and there but nothing really stuck.” she sighs, taking a sip of her beer as justin lods, kissing his teeth with a teasing smirk on his face.
“what about you chris?”
“justin don’t.” chris warns, glaring at his older brother as he sees through justin’s plan. justin is fully convinced that chris is in love with y/n, someone just has to spell it out for him. matt and nick both look at each other with wide eyes as they clue into what justin is trying to do.
y/n scoffs, sliding her beer across the table with a roll of her eyes before she stands up,
“you’re a dick.”
“y/n wait.” chris calls out, jogging after as she makes her away around the house to her car, shaking her head as she walks away.
“what do you want chris?” she sighs, turning to face him and look at him, really look at him for the first time that night.
“i’m sorry about justin, he’s convinced that i’m running from my feelings or some shit and he’s trying to make me see that.”
“that’s nice chris. you know, i came here tonight thinking that it’’d be easy to see you after how many months but no, it’s been just as hard as the night you broke my heart. it’s hard because i miss you, so fucking much but i can’t get over you. and i can’t get over you hurting me, whether you meant to or not.”
“i miss you too, y/n. come back please.” chris whispers, a glimmer of hope in his eyes as he stares at the girl he called his best friend.
“no. i don’t think you do. you miss the me that would follow you around like a lost puppy and feed your ego with all the attention i gave you. you miss the love i gave you because you didn’t have to search anywhere else for it. i was some sort of fall back for you. and if i stuck around after you broke my heart to hear you say that you loved me, knowing it wasn’t the same way that i love you, it would��ve killed me chris.”
“i’m sorry, i really am. i just miss my best friend.”
“i stopped being your best friend long before i confessed my feelings to you.” she whispers, the raw emotion she felt as she recounted how things changed evident in her voice, lea chris confused by what she meant.
“what?”
“you stopped seeing me as your best friend quite a while ago. you started seeing me as this your could always count on to boost your ego, to fill your head with this idea that you were a god, that you were the center of my universe. you stopped treating me like your best friend and started treating me like i was a fucking groupie, chris. you stopped remembering important things i told you about myself, you got me a copy of a book that i couldn’t stand, that you knew i couldn’t stand because when i first told you about, you laughed at how insane i sounded. and you said it was for my birthday, but my birthday was three weeks before that. you started only paying attention to things i said that made you feel good, and i thought that if i’d dismiss it and pretend that it wasn’t happening, that it’d go away. i figured you were just sorting out your feelings. but no, you were playing me.”
“that’s not tr-“
“yes it is. i excused it by convincing myself you were busy. that you were stressed. but in reality, you stopped giving a fuck about me and only gave a fuck about the attention i paid you, and now that it’s gone, you feel lost and helpless. so no, you don’t miss me.” she replies, her voice slowly becoming void of all emotion, as if she had accepted what had happened and moved to face her car, before turning back to him.
“for what it’s worth, i miss my best friend too, but when i look at you now, i don’t see him. i see a person who looks like him, but is completely different. and justin is right, you’re running from your feelings but i don’t think they’re feelings for me. i love you, always have, always will. i wish i could say that you love me too, but i don’t think you do.”
chris watches her car back out of the driveway and speed down the street with his heart in his hands, forced to grapple with just how badly he hurt her.
months had passed and chris was still completely shut out of y/n’s life, and it left a bitter and extremely hard pill for chris to swallow. he knew he fucked up and he knew asking her for forgiveness was an insane ask but he missed her.
and not the attention she gave him. he missed her. her warmth, the fuzzy feeling in his chest that she gave him when he’d crack a joke and look around to see if she found it funny. he missed the way he could non-verbally communicate with her the way he can with his brothers. all he’d have to do is send her a look and she’d know what he was thinking. he missed her hugs and the way she could comfort him in a split second. he missed the person that knew him better than he knew himself, and he missed the girl that he knew better than anyone.
everyone around chris knew what was happening, they saw it in the way he’d sulk whenever nick mentioned some guy she was trying to date. or the way his eyes would soften at the mention of her and matt hanging out before his face would fall when matt says they’re going out to some random place to hang out. in the way chris’ eyes would brighten when he saw something that reminded him of her or her favourite movie showed up on the netflix previews.
everyone around chris knew that he wasn’t just homesick for his favourite person, he was lovesick too. they could see the gears turning in his head and heart, that he was slowly starting to openly show his love for her, the same love she felt for him. chris was guarded and haunted by girls that have hurt him, they knew he closed off his heart to anything but familial and platonic love, so when genuine, deep romantic feelings started blooming in his chest like the flowers in spring, he didn’t know what they were. he always thought it was platonic love for his best friend, but everyone could see it was more.
everyone but chris. until the day he saw his feelings for what they really were.
FLASHBACK
chris walked upstairs, halting halfway up to text his friend back as he half listened to nick and matt’s shared conversation, not really care until he hears a sentence that left a sour taste in his mouth.
“y/n wants to ask brendon to be her boyfriend. she thinks it could go well.”
“is she over chris?”
“not really but she wants to try and move on.”
chris rolled his eyes and stomped up the rest of the stairs, not understanding why there was such an angry feeling building in his chest like a fire rapidly consuming everything in its wake.
throughout the day, chris let his anger consume his every action, his every response, every single reaction he has to anything. it was pissing his brothers off because they had no clue why he was angry. until nick pieced it together.
“you heard our conversation about y/n didn’t you? that’s when you started acting a like a dick to everyone and everything.”
“whatever nick it doesn’t matter.”
“you’re fucking jealous, aren’t you?”
“who gives a fuck if i am?”
“why are you jealous if you don’t see her that way?” nick pressed, a smug grin on his face as he pushed the youngest triplet, itching to get the long awaited confession out of chris.
“i’m not jealous.”
“right because if you were, that would mean you actually feel the same way y/n does. which would also mean that literally everyone else in the world was right about you from the fucking get-go.” matt snickered, finding joy in teasing chris for being a complete and utter dumbass for so long.
“oh my god, you’re right. is that what you wanna hear? that i’ve been a complete jackass to her for no reason? that i do feel the same and that everyone is right? that i have no reason to feel the way i do at the thought of her being with another guy? cause if so, there you fucking go.” chris snapped, yelling and cursing out his brothers with misplaced anger.
matt just laughed as he quickly merged into the turning lane, taking chris to y/n’s apartment.
“you know what you need to do.”
FLASHBACK OVER
chris sighs as he raises his fist to the door, his entire body vibrating. his nerves were on fire, he had absolutely no clue how to go about what he was about to do. he didn’t even know if it was a good idea.
as he drops his fist back to his side, the door opens, travelling y/n standing on the other side, her hair tucked beneath her hoodie, the one that chris had gotten her gotten the prior year for christmas because the colour looked pretty on her. chris felt his breath get stuck in his throat and his heart rate quicken as he met her eyes.
“chris what the fuck are you doing here?”
“i know you think i don’t love you.” chris starts, pushing his way into her apartment as she watches him, confused etched along her features as her brows knit together.
“okay, and?”
“and i know you think i stopped paying attention to you. but you’re wrong. you are all i think about, every second of every fucking day, you are running through my mind on a loop. i only ever think about the way you love cheesy chick flicks but will never say it out loud because you don’t want to be made fun of or the way you hate when people dog-ear the pages in their books because it ruins the quality. i only ever think about how much you miss boston in the summer because it’s the perfect temperature, but you hate it in the winter because you hate snow. or how you stop to pet every animal you see just so they know what it’s like to feel a loving touch. or how you refuse to wear anything in your favourite colour because you’re scared of attaching bad memories to it and hating the colour because it’s been your favourite since you were seven. or how feel bad when you don’t give the squishmallows on your bed equal attention because you believe they can feel things. or the fact that your favourite movie is coraline because you relate her deeply but will never your mom that in fear of breaking her heart. or the fact you never once deserved to be treated the way you were by me because i couldn’t see my feelings for what they were.” chris rambles, taking a deep breath as he looks at her, her mouth open as she prepares to speak but chris cuts her off,
“i know that you won’t be able to believe me right away, but i want to prove to you that i love you. it took me a long time to realize it because i’m a fucking idiot. i always have been but this love has been here since the moment i met you, i just confused it for something platonic when it was and is so much more than that. so please hear me out and don’t ask that guy to be your boyfriend, ask me. i want to be the one to love you for the rest of your life. i know i’ve fucked up, i will spend forever and a day trying to make up for it. i know i’m late but please, just give me one more chance.”
“okay.” she whispers, her eyes watering as she finally gets to hear everything she’s ever wanted chris to say. chris smiles, looping his fingers in the edges of hoodie pocket as he tugs her forward, pressing his lips to her so feverishly that he’s sure his lips will bruise but he’s scared to waste another moment, that when he opens his eyes this will all just be some sick and twisted dream. but when he pulls away and opens his eyes, he’s met with the reality that she’s there, her hands cradling his face as she wipes away the tears he didn’t even know existed before pressing another kiss to his lips.
“i’ve always been right in front of you chris, i’m just glad you finally opened your eyes.”
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oooh i have a request. Chris and y/n get set up on a blind date but they’ve been enemies (?? or just like lots of annoyance towards eachother) since high school and haven’t seen eachother since they blew up on yt so it’s been a minute. they try to make the night fun but can’t seem to shake the annoyance but Chris invites her back to his place and she reluctantly agrees. He starts feeling some type of way and yk the rest hehe (SMUTTY SMUT SMUT pls, lots of “baby” “Princess” “always knew you would be such a slut for me” 😇)
Corrival
Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Y/N is sent on a blind date by her friend, but what happens when she recognizes the guy….will she pursue him, or will she let the memories of her past control her decision🗣️
Warnings⚠️: This is so long I FORGOT WHATS IN IT, but there SMUT🤭
Song for the imagine: I hate everything about you- Three Days Grace
⚠️This is an 18+ imagine, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️
“Chloe…IM NOT GOING ON A BLIND DATE” I spoke loudly into the phone
“Stop being annoying, and literally go out! Like give him a chance he’s a great guy” she said on the other line
“You don’t understand my taste….you pick the worst guys for me” I told her putting my laundry away
“I promise you! You’ll be thanking me after this date”she said
“What makes you think this?” I asked her
“Because I know the guy, and he’s really nice. I immediately thought he would be perfect for you” she said
“Fine whatever. What day, what time and what’s the place” I asked her rolling my eyes
“Yayyy! Okay so it’s Thursdays night, over at the restaurant in downtown I can’t remember the name, and at 7pm” she said
“You’re sending me to downtown Boston…ALONE” I asked her
“Would you relax, it's a Thursday at 7pm, and you’ll have the guy to protect you. Also the restaurants called Foxtrot” she said
“Fine, and if this date suck you owe me so much money” I told her before hanging up on her
It was now Thursday, and I was getting ready to meet this mystery man at Foxtrot. The restaurant seemed nice but not anything fancy, probably similar to a chain restaurant . I decided on wearing black wide leg cargo pants with a fitted cropped black shirt that said screw you on the back in red with red screws on the front, and my red and white air Jordan 11 retros. It was simple but it was hot. I flat ironed my hair and did my makeup. I took some pics for instagram, and posted them, and I posted one to my close friends on instagram
“Going on a blind date wish me luck, thanks @chloethedawn 🙃”
I had ubered to the restaurant, and got out Chloe had texted me before I got there, that the mystery man was sitting in the last booth all the way in the back on the right hand side. I went in and told the hostess I was meeting someone, and she allowed me back
I walked towards the back, and all I saw was someone with a hat with their head down, and when he lifted his head, my mouth dropped….. I’m going to kill Chloe.
Flashback
I had just moved to Boston sophomore year of high school, and didn’t have any friends. That was until I met Chloe and Nick who then introduced me to Alana, and then they introduced me to Nicks brothers Chris and Matt.
I became really close with Chloe and then Nick, but Chloe was my best friend. I even considered her a sister. She was always with Nick, so it would always be Chloe, Nick, Alana and I hanging over at nicks house
Slowly I started talking to Matt, and him and I became friends, and I tried to talk to Chris, but he was such a fucking dick all the time.
He was rude to me at school and outside of school. What sucked was that I really started to have a crush on him, and I tried to be as nice as I could. I think he realized I had a crush on him, so he started to be extra mean to me.
Chloe knew how much I hated yet loved him at the same time. She didn’t understand how I could like someone I hated, but I told her my brains fucked up
As we moved into junior year of high school my feelings for Chris never ever went away. In fact they got stronger day by day. I was still hanging out with all them, so it didn’t help that I saw his face every single day
We all had the same lunch, so we all sat together everyday as well. Everything was decent until one day we were chatting at lunch
“How much money to date y/n” Alana asked everybody
“Alana what the fuck” I said laughing at her
“To date four eyes? I’d rather kill myself” Chris said laughing
I think that was the day I truly started to hate myself, and how I looked because the comment Chris made meant he truly took in my appearance before saying anything.
That day was the reason I started to stop hanging out with them. I hung out with Chloe always, but rarely ever with Nick or Alana.
Towards the end of junior year I made a few new friends, and sat with them at lunch. Chloe understood, but she still felt bad that I let Chris words get to me
When senior year rolled around the triplets started to get a following on YouTube, and everyone at the school wanted to be their friend. I still talked to Nick and Matt, but I mainly stood friends with Chloe and Alana.
Senior year I started wearing my hair down, and I got contact lenses. Some boy started to notice me, but Chris was still a dick. He sat behind me in 7th period, and always called me four eyes, or made fun of me to his lacrosse friends who were near us. He would put stuff in my hair, click my hair and poke me. But I just ignored him no matter how much he pissed me off.
After senior year I went to community college, and only kept in contact with Chloe. The triplets started to get even more famous, and we just all grew apart. I went two years of no Chris, and slowly my feelings faded away.
Flashback over
Why in the fuck Chloe sent me on a date with this asshole was beyond me. It had been a little over two years at this point, of knowing nothing about Chris and his brothers.
Seeing him sitting there made me so angry, but nonetheless I walked over, and sat down across from him
“Hi” I said looking at him
“Hey” he said looking up and putting his phone down
He stuck his hand out for me to shake which I did
“Why do you look so familiar” he said after I shook his hand
“You don’t remember me Christopher?” I asked him
“Are you Chloe’s friend?” He asked me
“Yeah, and Alana’s….and I was Nicks….and Matt’s” I said waiting for the light bulb moment to happen
“I don’t recall” he said scratching his neck
“7th period history….senior year” I said looking at him
“Holy shit….youre four eyes” he said all giddy
“Im so glad to see that things never fucking change” I said rolling my eyes
“Sorry. Sorry I meant Y/N” he said shaking his head
“Yup….” I said rolling my eyes
“It’s been so long” he said taking a sip of his Pepsi
“Yeah, and I really wish it stood that way” I said looking for the waiter, so I could order myself a drink
“You left us” he said
“Gee I wonder why” I said smiling at him
“I wonder too. Nick was so sad when you stopped coming around” he said
“You wonder? Let me jog your memory. Junior year, lunch table, you called me four eyes, and said you’d rather kill yourself than date me” I said scoffing at him
“Oh…it wasn’t that serious though” he said waving his hand at me
“Wasn’t that serious…wow Chris you’re such a fucking airhead. Literally nothing has changed since high school” I said as I locked eyes with a waitress and waved her over
“I never meant for it to hurt you” he said
“Yeah well it did” I said crossing my arms over my chest
The waiter came over, and took my drink order, and also took our food order
“So uh…” he said trying to break the awkward silence
“What?” I asked him with an attitude
“I’m not sure what’s the attitude about, but I’ll ignore it” he said
“Christopher I don’t fucking like you, you were such a dick to me in high school, and seeing your face brought back all those terrible memories” I told him taking a sip of my root beer
“I’ve changed you know” he said rolling his eyes at me
“Still doing nothing with your life?” I asked him
“Actually, no. Nick, Matt and I got into the social media game and stood with it. We have over 5 million YouTube subscribers and over 7 million tik tok followers, and we just got back from tour” he said smiling at me, now I felt like the idiot
“Oh….even though I hate you I’m happy for you” I said trying not to smile at him
“Thanks! And how about you?” He asked
“Well um I finished my two years at college, and I’m a makeup artist right now, and that’s about it” I said shrugging my shoulders
“You know I’ve seen your work on instagram. I follow your makeup page. You’re really good” he said to me
“You follow my makeup page” I asked shocked
“Well yeah! I might’ve been a dick to you in high school, but I didn’t hate you” he said in a matter of fact way
“Oh….well thanks” I said, and at the same time our food came out
We started to eat, and not really chatting, just exchanging glances here and there.
“I saw you went to a Nardo Wick concert a few weeks ago” Chris randomly brought up
“Man I didn’t know you were watching me. I wouldn't have removed you off of social media” I said laughing a little bit
“Like I said I didn’t hate you” he said taking a sip of his drink
“But uh yeah I went to Nardos concert” I said
“Didn’t know you liked that type of music” he said
“Christopher…I moved here from New York I love hoodrat music like that” I told him
“I forgot” he said shaking his head
“What’s your favorite song?” I asked him
“Only if we can say it at the same time” he said
“Fine on the count of 1” I told him
“1,2,3 WICKED WITCH” we both yelled
“NO FUCKING WAY” we both said and started to laugh
“Alright Y/N I see you” he said nodding his head
“I guess we do have a lot in common then” I said looking at him
We spent the rest of the dinner laughing and catching up. I was starting to hate that him and I had a lot in common
“Man Chris if you were like this in highschool we would’ve been best friends” I told him
“I was an ass in high school” he said laughing
“You were, but it’s okay you’ve grown up” I said nodding my head at him
He looked at me for a split second like he was contemplating something
“Hey…wanna come to my house?” He said
“Ummm I’m not too sure Chris” I said
“Nick and Matt will be there” he said
“Yeah, but I don’t know” I said back
“Oh come on” he said
“Uhhh fine I guess” I said giving in
The waitress came back with the bill, and Chris immediately took care of it. Wow what a gentleman
After paying we got up and left walking out the door and to the right
“Where’d you park?” I asked him
“Park?” He asked confused
“Do you still not drive?” I asked rolling my eyes
“Nope!” He said all proud
“You really are a loser” I told him laughing
“Do you drive?” He asked me
“Yes, but I Ubered here. My car got totaled a month ago” I said
“Oh god!” He said shocked
“Yeah…drunk driver crashed right into my PARKED car….she was nice too. It was a Kia K5 perfect amount of sport car, and perfect amount of sedan” I said shaking my head
“Damn that sucks. Look who’s the loser now” he said laughing in my face
I rolled my eyes at him, and he ordered an Uber, and we ubered back to his parents house. It was a little after 9 now, and he said his parents would be sleeping, but Nick and Matt would be awake
When we got into his house we heard both boys in Nicks room. Chris walked to the door first, and opened it
“Yooo” he said
“How’d the date go?” Matt asked
“It went well” he said
“What was she like” Nick asked a little frightened
Chris moved back to allow me to enter the room
“NO FUCKING WAY” Nick screamed and ran over to me hugging me so tight
“NICKKKK I MISSED YOU” I said hugging him harder
“Dude I fucked missed you more. How the fuck did you guys land up on a blind date together” he asked
“Yeah yall fucking hated each other” Matt said
“It was Chloe” I said
“Fucking Chloeeeeee. Sneaky bitch” Nick said laughing
“I’m so glad to be seeing you guys again, and I’m so sorry I drifted from you both” I said
“These things happen, but I’m so glad you’re back here” Nick responded
We chatted for a little but before Chris asked if I wanted to go to his room, and I agreed
We went up to his room, and I sat on his bed. He shut the door
“It’s exactly the same” I said to him
“Well we live half here and half in LA, so there’s not much to do here” he said, slipping his sneakers off. I did the same
Chris and I were sitting on his bed just talking and laughing
“You’re so pretty” he said
“Thank you Chris” I said blushing
“You’ve always been pretty, but now you’re just so mature, and it’s hot” he said
“You know I used to like you in high school, and I thought you were so hot, but now….youre like a Greek god now” I told him
“Oh baby…don’t boost my ego” he said laughing
“It’s the truth…I don’t know your face not just looks more carved out, and you just got this look in your eyes now” I said staring at him
“ IM A MAN NOW” he said smacking his chest
“Oh god” I said laughing at him
“I’m just kidding baby” he said laughing with me
“I really want to kiss you right now, and I’m not sure if I’ll regret this or not” I told him looking down at his lips
“Come on princess, come kiss me” he said raising his eyebrows
I leaned forward, and started to kiss Chris. All those feelings I had for Chris in high school came rushing back. I felt like I was making my 16 year old self proud.
Chris slowly started to slip tongue into our kiss, and it became such a hot make out. Our tongues fighting for dominance and our teeth clanging together. As I pulled away I pulled Chris’ lip lightly
“Fuck baby that was so hot” Chris said looking at me through half lidded eyes
“Are you down to fuck” I asked him
“I’m down if you are, but this isn’t why I brought you here, and don’t feel forced to do anything you don’t want to” he said to me
“Chris I have wanted to fuck the shit out of you since I was 16….I AINT BACKING DOWN” I told him
“Oh princess I’m about to make your dreams come true”
He said
I got up and straddled Chris’ lap immediately smashing our lips together. Nothing but teeth and tongue as I started to grind down onto him
I pulled my shirt off, and unclipped my bra allowing my breast to fall free. Chris took his hat off tossing it to the right, and then pulled his shirt immediately connecting our lips again
“Fuck baby” he said pulling away and kissing my neck down to my chest, and then taking one breast into his mouth while massaging the other one
“Fuck Chris” I moaned out throwing my head back
Chris looked up at me with lazy eyes, as he moved to the other breast. Swirling his tongue around my nipple
He then started kissing down the valley of my breast, and lifting me up to kiss down my stomach.
With a flat tongue he licked from my stomach all the way back up to the valley of my breasts, up my chest, to the side of my neck, and then immediately met my tongue in another sloppy make out session
“God Chris you’re such a fucking slut” I said moaning
“Only for you baby” I said as he kept massaging my breasts
He let me stand up so I could remove my pants and under wears for him
My pussy was at mouth level to Chris, and he pulled me in closer lifting my left leg up to go over his shoulder, and immediately attached his mouth to my pussy
“OH FUCK” I said pulling onto his hair, and trying to stabilize myself
Chris was lapping at my pussy like it was water, and I was trembling barely able to moan because I couldn’t even believe what was happening right now
His nose was bumping against my clit in a way that was making my knees weak
“Chris I’m going to fall over” I said pulling his hair harder
He pulled away, and his mouth, nose and chin was covered in my arousal
“I need you so badly” I said rubbing my hands through his hair
“Whatever you want princess” he said
I got onto the bed, and Chris took his jeans and boxers off immediately hovering over me
“You gotta be real quiet princess” he said
“I promise Chris I’ll be good” I told him nodding my head
Chris make me like his palm so he could jerk himself off before fucking me
Chris was kind of leaning back on his knees, and he had my legs draped over his thighs. He thought his cock to my entrance and slowly started inserting himself into me
“Fuckkk” I whimpered as he slid all the way in
“Fuck baby you’re so tight” he said rubbing his hand from my stomach up through the valley of my breast, and lightly wrapping his hand around my throat, but not squeezing me
He started to thrust into me and good thing he didn’t have a traditional headboard because everybody would’ve known we were fucking
“Oh Chris” I moaned shutting my eyes
“Fuck baby you’re taking me so well” he said as he kept thrusting into me
His hips were smacking into me and his dick was hitting every single spot
“I need more” I moaned out
So Chris started pounding into me harder and faster, moaning and grunting and sweating. God this was so fucking hot
He snapped his hips into me, and I swear his dick kissed my cervix
“CHRIS” I yelled out
He immediately put his ring and middle finger in my mouth
“Shhhh baby” he said thrusting into me at a harder pace
“I always knew you’d be such a slut for me” he said as I sucked on his fingers and moaned around them
“Is my princess going to cum?” He said
“MHMM MHMM” I said around his fingers
“Good come on baby, cum for me” he said as he brought his other hand down to rub my clit
I was moaning on his fingers and thrashing around
Within seconds my hips came off the bed and my body started to shake as I came so hard on Chris’ dick
I was whimpering and trembling as he helped me ride out my high
He took his fingers out of my mouth and then pulled out of me. Taking his cock into his hand and jerking himself off
“I’m gonna cum” he said
Suddenly his jaw fell slack and his lower abdomen twitched, he came all over my stomach
“Fuck fuck fuck” he said as he came
We caught our breath, and he put his boxers back on, and ran to his bathroom to get tissue to clean me up
He came back and cleaned me up, and I slid my underwear back on, and he gave me one of his shirts to slip into
“God Chris….who would’ve known you were such a slut” I said as I laid down in his bed
“What’s crazy is my body count is only 1, well 2 now….you brought out the slut in me” he said laying down next to me and looking at me
“If there’s more of that, then I want it” I said
“You can have whatever you want baby” he said kissing me
Suddenly my phone started to ring, so I got up and walked over to grab it. It was Chloe and she was blowing my phone up
“Hello” I said as I put the phone on speaker
“BITCH WHAT THE FUCK YOU NEVER ANSWER ME I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED” she said yelling at me
“Im sorry…..we were busy” I said to her
“Busy doing what….” She said
“We were fucking” Chris yelled across the room
“CHRISTOPHER” I yelled
I took Chloe off of speaker
“Chloe I’ll talk to you tomorrow, and explain everything, but for right now I gotta go” I said and we hung up
“Come on baby, come lay with me” he said patting the side next to him
I ran over and laid with him, and we eventually fell asleep.
The End
Ouuu chile this was a lot to write, I really enjoyed writing this so whoever requested this I hope you enjoyed 🥰
-J💅🏽
A/N: I’m a cancer🦀
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At long last
Warnings- fluffy, swearing, mentions of drugs, romance, part them drunk (thats all I think) words- 3480 N/A- Hey guys this is my first Ryan Dunn fic and I don't know how to feel, I feel part of it is good but others not much but I wrote it literally all day, so enjoy ♥︎
┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑
"dude just ask her out!" Bam whined poking at his best friend who just sulked onto the sofa "whats the worst that'll happen?"
"she says no and I've ruined a relationship I've had since I was 14 years old- thats the worst that can happen" he huffed playing with his watch, Ryan wasn't usually that nervous about girls and romance but something about asking his long time friend out scared him shitless "plus she wouldn't wanna be with me anyways I'm a fucking ass" Bam rolled his eyes, Bam knew his friend was a wuss, but he though he'd have the balls for this, it was Y/n for gods sake not like they've never met before
"look man we are all going out tomorrow so why not just ask her out to dinner? thats not going 'BE MY GIRLFRIEND' its kinda... breaking the ice, even though you've know her for 10 years" his friend laughed at the words coming from his own mouth "10 years and you're fucking scared!"
"yes 10-fucking-years so it is a big deal! me asking her to dinner could sound sketchy I mean come on the girl knows stuff I do before I do!" Ryan covered his face with his hands and groaned erring a slap on the head from Bam
"you need to stop being such a pussy" the brown hair boy spat walking out the room to who knows where leaving Ryan to his own thoughts which only made him feel 100x worse, but he did realise Bam was right he needed to stop being a pussy about it, he's been in love with Y/n since they were in high school but never said anything to anyone... until one night at a party were he drunkly told Bam who hadn't forgot
┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅Flashback⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑
"Oh dude Y/n's over there!" Bam called pointing to her, god she looked stunning, the red dress hugged her body perfectly
"she looks beautiful" Ryan whispered, eyes struggling to tare away from the girl as she laughed grabbing a drink with another girl but she wasn't a scratch on her
"you like her or something?" Bam asked turning back to his friend
"yeah man, she's fucking gorgeous how could I not like her!" Ryan hadn't realised the words that came out but he did feel somewhat relieved. The night carried on, nu metal music blaring through the house they were in and people screaming and shouting everywhere
"Hey Bam!" a voice that Ryan knew all to well spoke "How are ya? sorry I was gonna come over but Kayce caught me, Kayce come meet Bam!" he looked up to see Y/n the same red dress but he could see every detail on if now, lace and red sequins embezzled down the length, rings and bracelets decorated her hands and wrists, chunky black heals with a gold clasp "Hey Ry!" she called
"how you doin' doll" Ryan spoke getting a laugh from the girl
"weirdo! I'm good, you?" she side hugged him and his hands settled on her hips "you look nice by the way, is that the shirt my mom bought you for Christmas?" she asked stroking his chest
"I'm better now you're here and yeah it is, it matches your dress" he smiled down at he girl who's Y/E/C eyes were already on his
"I feel sexy in this dress, Marcus called me a whore when I wore it" she sulked, Marcus was her ex-boyfriend, evil bastard he was but thanks to Ryan and Novak she didn't need to worry anymore
"I bet Dunny boy finds you ravishing in it Y/N/N" Bam laughed tapping her shoulder getting a death glare from his best friend "sorry sweetheart!" he blew a kiss to his friend and walked away again
"don't listen to him" the blonde spat "dickhead"
"do I not look ravishing Ry?" Y/n spoke jokingly swirling her hair around her finger, if he could Ryan would get on his knees then and there and tell her how good she looked, Jesus Christ he'd worship the women, but he had to keep himself from doing so...
"you- you look beautiful Y/n" she blushed pressing a kiss to his cheek
"thanks Dunn"
Bam saw the interaction and knew one day he'd be a uncle to their child, it was disgustingly obvious the two liked each other but he also knew neither would say a thing "fucking pansies"
┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅ reality ⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑
The next day came round quicker than Ryan could think, he grabbed blue jeans and a white shirt, his wallet, cigarettes, lighter, phone and car keys "BAM COME ON WE'VE GOTTA GO!" Ryan shouted hearing footsteps quickening down the hall and Bam stood with a CKY shirt on and baggy shorts "come on I told Y/n I'd pick her up Dico's already at hers"
"oooh think they fucked?" Bam pushed getting a slap "someones jealous"
"fuck off" Ryan stormed walking out the door to his car, the engine began and the two sped off to Y/n's house, luckily it wasn't to far so in five minuets Ryan was knocking her door "Y/N HURRY UP! GET DICO OUT HERE" he began to pound the door which was opened at the end of his sentence
"Ryan Dunn! will you cut it out bloody hell!" her mom Vicky warned making him laugh
"sorry why is she taking forever though!" she rolled her eyes
"I don't know hun- oh and Dico isn't here he went with Chris" Ryan nodded leaning up the door "what are you doing today? CKY things?"
"I think so, we found this abandoned rail way thing so were checking that out and Y/n wanted to come" she smiled
"why don't you go up and grab her knowing my daughter she's either still doing her eyeliner or still finding what to wear" Ryan laughed pressing a kiss to the older women's cheek and jumped up the stairs, he went down to the door with the sign 'Y/n's room' and stood outside
"well I don't know... what if- yes Jessica I know but what if I doesn't go right.... I'm not scared... he'll be there! you don't know what you're fucking talking about... fuck off Jessi" he herd a click from the room and a furious groan "Stupid fucking bitch can't listen to a single fucking thing I fucking say I swear to god I'm gonna fucking kill that whore-" the words kept spilling out before Ryan decided to knock the door "Yeah?" he twisted the doorknob and walked in to see Y/n, black tube top, blue low waisted jeans held up by a studded belt and her belly piercing jewel shining in the light, a cross necklace hung from her neck and her make up looked- goddess like- smokey eye, red glossed lips accompanied by her nose-ring "oh hey Ry" her voice sounded happier than before
"what was all that about?" he asked leaning on her closet "thought you and Jessica were friends" she rolled her eyes
"so did I until now... it doesn't matter though, ready to go?" Ryan was concerned about the girl, she wasn't one to usually be in a mood or angry but he brushed it off as in fairness they needed to go "you look nice by the way" she complemented going past him out the door to grab her hoodie
"thanks I'm liking the absolute no coordination between us, you look like Bam if he was a girl and I look like a basic white man" she laughed at the boy coming out her room and closing the door "bye Vic, we will probs be back by like 9-10 o'clock ish and I'll drop her off" her mother nodded hugging Ryan then her daughter
"be safe you two and Y/n don't let you're father see you in a outfit like this, he'd kill you, zip your hoodie when you come home!" she warned
"will do mom, see you later!" the two waved and ran to the car were Bam was sat with his eyes closed "so were are we going?"
"shit! you took your fucking time" he spat looking at the girl, Bam and Y/n were good friends, even went to prom together- now though they smoke weed, drink and skate together along with the others, but they fight like brother and sister most days
"fuck off I was busy- I take pride in how I look unlike some" he huffed, Ryan started the car again and made their way to the old rail way, luckily the roads were mostly empty so in quick time they made it, as there 3 got out they were met with Rake, Novak, Dico, Raab and Rake's sister Sophia "SOPHIA!" the girls ran to each other hugging and giggling about something, in which the boys thought they'd do the same
"OH RAABY!" Bam kissed the boys cheek "TEHEHEHEHE" he said rather loud getting a 'ugh' from the girls the group decided to start going through the woods to the railway line
Y/n and Sophia stayed chatting toward the back of the group while all the boys were huddled together, Novak said it wasn't a long walk but then again Novak did crack so who was he to trust? Ryan didn't notice but he constantly kept checking over his shoulder to see Y/n which Bam found amusing seeing his friend so desperate to just have a glance at the girl
"dude she isn't going to run off" he shoved at Ryan "you gonna ask her tonight?"
"I don't know man she isn't in the greatest mood today and I don't want her to have extra stress on top of that and-" Bam waved his hands at the man cutting him off
"Ry stop making excuses if you don't ask her today I will for you" panic rushed through the blonde
"no don't do that" he whispered getting a smirk from him "Bam"
"hey Y/n!" Bam turned back to the two behind
"Bam no fucks sake I'll do it, I'll do it!" Ryan shouted
"yeah?" Y/n called looking confused
"you look like a whore" she gave the boy a thumbs up and went back to her conversation like nothing happened "you are a lucky man Dunn"
after another half hour of walking the group finally got to the tracks, they were all decade and rotting, spray painted and worn "wow... glad we walked here to see this shit" Sophia crossed her arms "Novak you said this would be 'cool' its literally dead pieces of wood"
"sorry baby, it looked cooler last time I was here" he huffed "the view's good though, you can see west town over there and here is were I smoked pot with Nabi" everyone laughed
"well I was meant to get my lip pierced.. now" Y/n spoke checking her phone "i'm thrilled we're doing this instead" Ryan watched the girl slump down to the floor and just stare into the sky, he felt bad and knew if she wasn't in a good mood before, she defiantly wasn't now
"why don't we look round for stuff, there's gotta be something cool around" Dico spoke kicking sticks on the floor
"yeah okay, lets go" Raab agreed and the group began to go back into the wood, Ryan looked back at Y/n, she just sat their and hugged her knees
"I'll catch up in a sec" he yelled to the group who said their okays and carried on walking, he went back to the girl on the floor "what did Jessica say?" she looked up to him, her eyes had tears forming in the corners
"she and Marcus are getting together... and she wouldn't listen to what I was saying about him that he's not a nice person! and she kept saying shit about the guy I like and all I was doing was looking out for her" she whimpered wiping her eyes "Marcus nearly fucking killed me- emotionally but still, everything he did to me he'll do to Jessi and I just want her to be okay" Ryan reached a hand to the girl and pulled her up into a tight hug, letting her get it all out her system on his shoulder, he knew this is what she needed, just to talk... he had an idea
"do you wanna go? I can call Bam and we can go out for lunch, just me and you?" her eyes met with his brown ones and nodded "okay, lets go" His hand instinctively went to hers to which she gladly excepted, with his free hand he pulled his phone out and called bam
"yeah?" he answered
"me and Y/n are going to get lunch-"
"use protection!" Bam snickered
"get fucked" Ryan ended the call and put the phone back in his pocket
after an extremely long walk they finally made it back to the car which was warm due to the West Chester summer heat "what do you want to eat?" he asked starting the engine
"italian"
"Limoncello sound good?" she nodded and the two set off back to town listening to the random songs the radio played "besides the whole Jessi thing, how are you?" she laughed
"I'm good, I mean wish I could've got my lip pierced but I'm getting a free dinner at Limoncello so I'm not complaining" Ryan looked to the girl
"free?" she nodded "who said it's free?"
"me I forgot my purse, thanks babe for paying" she laughed rubbing his chin "I'll give you the money don't worry" Ryan shook his head
"its a treat... date even" he blushed slightly seeing a smile spread across her face
"was this a big elaborate plan to get me on a date with you Ry?" her eyes seemed drowsy in his, Y/n's hand combed back his hair
"maybe but it wasn't huge, more last minuet... would you be annoyed if it was?" the Y/H/C haired girl shook her head "good" he smiled
after another 10 minuets they made it to the restaurant which wasn't to busy, they walked in and waited to be seated by their server "okay here we are, can I get you any drinks?" the man asked looking toward the table
"Stella for me" he nodded and looked towards the girl
"and for you darling" Ryan felt him self become tense at the word 'darling' who did he think he was talking to?
"cosmopolitan please" she grinned up to the man
"of course, have that to you soon" he walked away and Y/n looked back to Ryan
"you okay?" he nodded "you look angry"
"I'm fine, anyways we were saying about Marcus and Jessica" she nodded explaining her story, Ryan could've listened to her voice for ever go on and on about anything
"and she said he said he could do so much better than me and called me a tramp!" Y/n said angrily slamming her hands on the table
"well- you could do much better than that lanky red head anyways he was a dick to you" she nodded bringing her drink to her lips "actually didn't you say she was making fun of the guy you liked earlier" Ryan spoke inquisitively
"yeah what about it?"
"who do you like?" he cooed to her making her giggle at the childishness of her friend "do I know them?"
"Ryan we're 24 and 23 not in 9th grade why do you wanna know so bad" Y/n smiled
"because I wanna know if my best friend has good taste in men" she furrowed her brows "Please Y/n" he begged
"its embarrassing" she spoke trying to escape the conversation "lets just order food" her eyes scanned for a waiter or someone but her face was pulled back- literally- Ryans hand cupped her chin and made sure she couldn't get out of his grip "Ry-"
"you can tell me Y/n, I wont be mean or judge or anything" she sighed seeing a smile grow across his face she played with the idea of actually telling him but it kind of fell out
"it's you Ryan"
Ryan felt his heart jump into a halt... him? no she has to be joking he thought "what?" is all that came out with a laugh
"I like you- like a lot and have for ages...yeah laugh it up" confidence grew in the girl as she spoke "and I get if you don't feel the same its totally fine" she blabbered on as her speechless friend just sat listening "I mean we've been friends for 10 years and this is crazy"
Ryan knew he could now let his feeling be free "I like you too, so much I've just never had the balls to say it to you" her eyes widened and so did her smile "since we were kids I've always thought you were beautiful then after High school I just fell even more for you" the two's eyes locked together and they seemed the only person in the world to each other, everything was silent besides the one talking
"so you're fully serious" she asked hoping it wasn't one of Ryans many pranks
"deadly"
the two ate dinner in near silence besides a few thank you's and hums of delight, underneath the covered table Y/n intertwined her legs with his and using her foot rubbed his leg reassuringly, Ryan paid the bill and got up offering his hand to the girl, they walked out to see the street lamps illuminating the Barron streets
"thank you for dinner" Y/n gleamed up to the boy who was just a bit taller than her
"no problem, we should do it again" he smirked leading her back to the car, as the two climbed in and set off again Ryan tipped a few mints into his mouth and Y/n did the same "so home?" she nodded.... through out the drive Ryan's hand went from the wheel to her hand and then her inner thigh giving Y/n butterflies every time his finger tapped along to the song playing in the background
The car pulled into her street which Y/n internally sighed as she didn't want to leave Ryan after the night they had, they came to a stop in front of her house which was dimly lit from the inside "I'll walk you up" Ry spoke letting go of the girl who now felt cold, he came over and opened the door giving his hand once again
"such a gentleman" she laughed seeing a redness appear on his face, she got out and lent against the car "thank you for tonight Ry, I loved it"
"I'm glad... tonight didn't go how I expected honestly, but I'm glad it did... sorry that felt like a shit way of saying it- I'm bad at these things" he grinned dopily, he knew it was time to say goodnight to her but he couldn't let go of her "ready?" he asked she nodded solemnly and they begun up the drive to the front door with every step it meant the night was coming to a end... he didn't want to let go of her hand, it felt so right in his, the pair got just before her front door and sighed "Thanks for today Y/n"
"no thank you- again- I didn't think we'd ever do this either but I really enjoyed it" Y/n nervously bit her bottom lip, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she gazed up into Ryan's warm eyes. the night slipped away, there was still one thing that Y/n needed to do before saying goodbye though.
"Ryan," she whispered softly, her gaze flickering to his lips for a brief moment before meeting his eyes once more. "Can I... can I kiss you goodnight?"
Ryan's eyes widened in surprise, a warm smile spreading across his features as he took a step closer. "I was hoping you would ask that," he replied, his voice low and husky with a hint of anticipation.
Without another word, Y/n leaned up on her tiptoes, closing her eyes as Ryan's hands came to rest on her hips. For a moment, they simply stood there, drinking each other in as their lips brushed against each other in a tender, gentle kiss. It was soft, slow and filled with all the promises of what could be.
As they parted, Y/n looked up at him with a shy smile, a flush spreading across her cheeks. "Goodnight, Ryan," she whispered.
"Goodnight, Y/N," he replied, a sparkle in his eye. "Sweet dreams."
With one last lingering look, Y/n turned and walked into her house, her heart beating wildly in her chest. For a moment, she wondered if she had made the right choice but she knew that this was just the beginning of something truly special.
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( Regarding the childhood BFF dilemma )
Oh Dani ... Dani ... Dani .. *sigh* where do I begin? I'm deciding to vent it all out to you (and your followers coz everyone here likes these) just so I can get a third person perspective.
Speaking about my childhood BFF. He is literally my childhood friend. We met when we were 4 or 5 years old at kindergarten, had sleepovers at each other's houses when we were younger, Always friendly at school, and then ... Our folks asked each of us to have an eye on the other ... This was during middle school. Initially it was silly, and we had fun with it coz our parents asked us to do it and we had lots of laughs. But as middle school got tough, the "keeping an eye" became sort of like a blame game and we started to keep scores... And intentionally and unintentionally we hurt each other... (Flashbacks from my POV are a little too many). Eventually we stopped talking to each other, so that our parents won't have dirt on us at what we do in school. We made our own friend circles even though we were in the same batch. as time went by, we drifted apart further naturally, having multiple mutual friends. 4 years of high school we were in the same class and we never acknowledged each other. Coz that's how it was.. very normal .. he didn't speak to me and neither did I to him. We went on with our lives and exams and moved away for University.
Again, never kept in touch during our uni years. We were in two different cities. We had each other's numbers, only to send bday and holiday greetings. Very formal. Just like it was. What was funny is both our families are close. So I would get info about him from his parents and vice versa. Like, I got to know he started a business on his own in his mid 20s from his parents, and he got to know I passed uni from mine. Mind you, we were close buddies when we were 10.
A decade or so later, I was speaking with his mom on the phone when I was visiting my parents. He got to know I was home and suggested we meet up. It was like I was meeting someone new for the first time (this was pre Covid). And it was a good time. He drove around the city, had food, drove more, and we got to know each other how our uni life was. Our individual plans for future, masters, settling down, etc etc etc. He did talk a lot about himself (which was something new I noticed back then), and about his exes. We talked about school, how we tried to sabotage each other. Some of the stuff we both didn't remember properly. I even asked him why did we stop talking to each other. We both do not know the answer to that question. Well I don't. Maybe he does. So we said our goodbyes and wished the best. But I do remember one moment when, he was driving on the highway, and we both were quiet. Like comfortable in the silence. We talked a lot, but we had more to talk. But that few minutes felt safe and comfortable for me, with him. We both didn't fill the silence with awkwardness. He drove and I sat next to him...
Post Covid, we met again last year. I started working and I got to know he was in a LDR. We laughed a lot. (Again he was driving) And I told him why I cannot see myself being friendly with you like how we were. He was adamant to hash it all out for once and to clear the air between us. Again, it felt natural. There was no gaps to fill with small talk with him. He suggested some guys for me to date from his friend circle (and he himself said they are all shit so don't bother 😂).
I told him about the time I went ice skating with a guy and how it felt like a "hangout" rather than a "date". He said "if I take a girl out for ice skating, I'm gonna make sure the girl KNOWS it's a date and a second date is on the table." I was like "well I didn't get those vibes so I don't think it's gonna happen again". It was random banter back and forth.
We never had any romantic tension between us. I mean, we never were close during our growing ages. But I have to tell the truth, every now and then I wonder what could be the possibility of us? Like a fleeting thought. We both have a lot of unresolved issues tbh. I don't trust him that much. Ive never felt safe and to be able to be myself with any other men I've come across in my life. Maybe it's the pre-added notion that we've known each other, but we DO NOT KNOW one another ( you know what I mean?)
So yeah. I'm just in a rut. Which makes no sense. To me. And the Malec Childhood BFFs to Lovers was bittersweet for me to read.
Whadya think Dani? Am I an insane woman like how all women women generally towards the bare fucking minimum???😂😆
omg thank you for the tea 🙊
first of all. this line "if I take a girl out for ice skating, I'm gonna make sure the girl KNOWS it's a date and a second date is on the table" goes SO hard. Oof.
It's entirely up to you as to what you want to do and what this dynamic means to both of you. But right now it seems like you are enjoying each other's company (you are still getting back to each other so to speak) and maybe enjoy that? when we have something good and comfortable, it's very normal to want it for longer or on a permanent basis. So, I can see why you are wondering about a possible relationship. If this is something you continue to feel in this relationship, then perhaps it's time to drop some hints. I only hope you will be better at it than Alec lol.
It's truly so lucky to reconnect with childhood friends and find friendships that can survive time. I'm happy for you 🧡
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I know that I have a lot of problems and I hold myself accountable for those things Even if I can't fucking control it I still am aware. And I'm trying my best.
And shit just keeps it happening. I'm quite my fucking face off like I don't know what to do anymore.
I mean my parents fucking hate me.
My sister and her fiance are not together anymore
I showed my mom a screen capture of pictures that my sister took downtown at night with her fiancé's 3 best friends.
I actually thought some of the pictures were cool even though she Was trust passing in an abandoned building.
She wasn't wearing very much which I wasn't even thinking about because it's not like she didn't wear skimpier outfits when she was put in dance classes as a child till she was a teenager and then the outfit she wore on dance team and high school were very tiny.
And so my mom took a picture that I showed her of my sister modeling with her friends in this abandoned building in my mom fucking shamed her for what she was wearing and what could happen if she was wearing something like that.
And I chewed my mother out
Because I wasn't wearing anything like that when I got raped
I wasn't asking for it by the clothing that I was wearing
And my mom literally told me that if I didn't shut the fuck up and quit texting her that she was gonna run away And I'm the asshole somehow.
And my father has me blocked so I can't call him and talk to him about the whole situation and keep him from yelling at my sister which she does not need after she just got broken up with by her fiance
And I was told by my mother that they can't give me a time when I'm going to be able to move and the place that I was looking at is gone now I believe and They all lied to me
And now all of this is somehow my fault even though I didn't mean any of it in a bad way
And I tried to explain to my sister in Snapchat because that's what she looks at most and I hope she understands that I had 0 intentionI'm getting hurt into any sort of trouble I was just trying to show my mom pictures she took with her friends because she told me and my mother that she was going to go take those pictures
In my mom's saw her in that outfit that evening before she left to go take pictures.
And that was the same day they all came over to check on me.
And my dad sent her and her friends to check on me which broke my boundaries of no contact with my sister which I was forced back into because nobody has God damn boundaries
I tried to tell them not to have her come over to my apartment even though they ended up being helpful
But my sister does Does not even remember what actually happened in January and my father is like telling me that it's not a trauma and I just need to get over it
And I need to get over all the other bad shit that happened to me when I sent him a whole fucking article on how traumatic things work in the brain with people who have PTSD
Like why I have flashbacks and everything it was a wonderful fucking article I will link it for you. I'm sure it's something that you have already learned about but it's really well written and interesting and it explains a lot that I didn't understand fully myself and it words everything perfectly and my parents didn't read it and they don't fucking care.
And I'm about to be 38 and I have nightmare neighbors and I can't concentrate to do anything.
And there's just no fucking medicine on earth that's going to fix this because I've literally been on everything and none of it helped me.
And I just want to get in my car and run away but I can't do that
Because my cat is extremely sick. And that's like my child.
And my dad said he's done with me and has disowned me or whatever for like the fifth or 6 time in a row and then my phone fucking quit working last night so I thought he did that so I was just using the Wi-Fi network that hadn't been turned off to journal and fucking try and talk to my friends over messenger phone.
And everybody is like psychotically mad at me about being impatient about moving when I've asked to move several times before this year and before the nightmare neighbors do to physical disabilities like I have fucking notes from my doctors all of my doctors have written notes to encourage my parents to move me and they could have last year but they refused to do so because they didn't want to because they didn't want to deal with me
I feel like I'm living in a fucking nightmare I'm terrified that I'm gonna hear something horrible about my sister even though she is a fucking bitch I do care about her and her well being.
And yeah I saw him breaking up with her coming from a fucking mile away. That was never going to work out. Or it was gonna work out perfectly.
But I know that my family is somehow going to make all of this my fault and I'm freaking the fuck out because I'm already dealing with enough here in my own apartment with my cat and my fucking neighbors and all of the other shit and can bad things just stop happening to me and other people around me I need some fucking Peace and quiet
There is nowhere I can go
I cannot leave my cats right now and go visit someone out of town I can't leave my animals and go check into a hotel and turn my phone off or something like that I don't have that privilege.
I haven't even fucking eaten today. I haven't really gotten out of bed today other than to give the cat her medicine and make sure she ate a little bit.
My partner is fucking exhausted with me and I completely understand why.
And I don't know what to do anymore I don't fucking know what to do anymore my life is fucking falling apart
I can't take any more medicine right now I took my medicine to go to sleep early and it's not even fucking working because I had to learn about all this shit
And then I had to try and do some damage control but thanks mom you already fucked me over by slutshaming my sister because she was wearing a little dress and fishnets and her stomach was showing it's not like they didn't have her leotard that made her look like a hooker dancing to songs that were very provocative when she was a child
My mother did this shit to me too and I would try to wear anything that should cleavage but I was a fat kid and so I didn't wear crop tops and scantily clad shit
A fucking wish I could
How could she fucking say these things to my sister why would you do that to another person
I was wearing blue jeans AT shirt and a fucking jacket when I was raped
She thinks that my sister is going to get raped because of her clothing
Clothing doesn't matter if a guy wants to do something like that to a woman he's going to fucking do it
I'm horrified I'm fucking horrified
And I'm scared
And I do not feel secure or safe living at this fucking apartment complex and today has been a fucking nightmare and yesterday was a nightmare and the day before that was a fucking nightmare
No I don't have money to bring my cat to the emergency vet because she's having some sort of fucking reaction to the antibiotics that I had to give her because she has a really bad UTI and I didn't know even though she's got a ton of water to drink.
I don't have the money to bring her back to the vet.
She's basically my child.
And my mom told me to shut the fuck up and fuck off and leave her alone
And my dad told me he didn't care about the fucking cat
And my mom basically said the same thing
And I don't know what to do right now I am so fucking upset and angry
And I'm worried about my sister probably deserved that if it was karma
But I don't really believe in karma no I don't think she deserved my mother to say that I don't know about the fucking fiance breaking up with her because she didn't tell me I just heard it through the telephone game that everybody loves to play and includes me in which I didn't ask to be included
I wish I could just get married and run away from these people
All of the doctors and therapists that have told me that are correct they're right that's pretty much the only viable way that anything good is going to happen to me
I don't fucking care about how many cognitive distortions I'm having right now if I'm having any at all or if this is a completely valid response to the insane Jerry Springer ass shit that goes on in my life
What the fuck
I mean are they trying to fucking just kill me from stress
I don't know what to do
I don't fucking know what to do anymore
I don't think a psychfacility would help right now if I even asked you
I'm not suicidal or homicidal
I'm pretty fucking upset and stressed out though
I don't know what to do
I don't know where I can go I don't know who I can talk to about any of this I don't know who can help and I need help so badly
And I'm not being dramatic and I'm not doing this for intention that I'm not crazy this is literally just what my life is like just continuous bullshit
What the fuck am I supposed to do
I don't have any ants or uncles that can come help me or save me from this they don't care about me because of my parents
Literally because my parents have talked so much shit about me between themselves to my sister and everybody else
So nobody thinks anything good about me
I have been fucking isolated over and over and over again
I can't call Travis because he has to be up very early for work because he has therapy tomorrow
I don't have any friends available to talk to me right now
I don't know what to do I'm in complete panic
I don't know what to do I don't know what to do fuck
Why the fuck do I even exist I was supposed to exist to suffer because that's been my entire fucking life
I'm scared
I'm worried about people that don't even care about me that much
And I don't think that I even belong here
People are so cruel
I'm fucking wearing a heart monitor to rule out regular cardiac before my new heart doctor tells me my heart is fucked due to the immense amount of stress and grief
I don't fucking know what to do
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07.06.2024
9:12
Another one.
For some reason harry potter was there for a bit. We were in some underground facility where everyone talked about how the old ceo sucked and the new one was nicer but sucked at his job.
We get like a flashback to the old ceo ruining a cave for the facility or whatever. To be honest I have no clue what they were even doing its like they were tearing down giant structures that kinda looked like beds or something.
Suddenly I’m with my dad in a car and we’re driving. I think he switched cars like 4 times but I only remember like 2. All were like super dark and driving with him felt super uncomfortable like he was hiding something. In the third car we started driving through a school and he started talking about it like he worked there (my father is an educator but this particular high school he literally never worked at in his life). So he parked the car and we just walked around a bit seeing students preparing for one of our native festivals and stuff and while doing that I ran into a person I know (who oddly enough was in my last dream as well which was only a few hours ago). So my dad let me talk to him and he left. We just hung out a but and were messing around. By messing around I mean parkouring through the school to get to the front; pushing through kids, jumping over walls and what not; you know the deal. I told him this is why I could not ever go to a public high school and he agreed as if this was a normal occurrence. So I got back in a different car with my dad and this ride felt even more uncomfortable. For some reason mid ride the radio started freaking out, and it felt like we were walking, from inside the car. We were on this dark sketchy road under a bridge and we passed a sketchy looking gas station (remember this for later). So since dreams suck at transitions I’m home suddenly.
At home our current efficiency is not there yet and my father still has his old office and there is an air bed taking up most the space. My father is not home. It’s me my brother and my mom. Something is extremely off about my brother. He’s in my dads office and the office is covered with this clear sticky residue and it looks like it’s coming from his spit; and already he after and looked off so I left him alone and went into my room after a bit. Suddenly now we’re all eating and my father is home briefly and I start getting calls from my best friend (who is trans but her parents don’t know this only a few of her friends do). I cannot answer the calls at the moment so instead she send voicemails. I go back into my room after my dad leaves to listen to them and she starts saying her parents found out which terrified both of us. After listening to the messages my mom walks in my room to say shes going out. At this point I’m afraid of my father, my brother, and the fact that my best friend is very likely in danger. I ask my mom how long she will be gone for and she responds sighing telling me the while day which is extremely unusual for her. Usually when i’m left home ti babysit my brother or on my own my parents are only out for a few hours at most. A whole day and we spend it at our grandmas place. At this point I was scared out of my mind to be left alone with whatever it was in the house posing as my little brother.
Another awful transition and I’m inside that gas station from earlier. It was run down and gloomy from the inside too. There were no cashiers or anything just this eerie groaning and buzzing sound surrounding me. I decided to go outside and it was like crimson red outside. And on the ground were rotting corpses but they were moving. I think i’m too into resident evil because i did not know what it n the leon kennedy was happening at this point. Considering the fact that the dream continued that means I didn’t try to wake myself up and I was more confused than scared.
Still outside the gas station, I suddenly had a gun how convenient. At first I thought it wasn’t working but it just fired bullets really slowly. Same went for the gun the literal undead corpse had as well for some reason. I had some people helping me by shooting however they couldn’t dodge the bullets themselves. One of them was a girl frim my church AGAIN. So while i was shooting I was also helping them dodge bullets.
After I few minutes of this I woke up in confusion.
9:35
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bad boy good thing v.
pairing: jeon jungkook x oc
genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining
warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)
words: 2, 435
summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing
a glimpse into the past
“Yes. I’ve literally just stepped foot into my apartment.” Jungkook huffs with his phone between his ears and his shoulders as he attempts to multitask, hands moving a box of the dining table.
But Jimin is persistent and he’s yapping his ear off, something about dropping by in a few but Jungkook is barely paying attention, not when the existential crisis of no longer being a high school student that could hide under an institution with a false sense of security. College was different. He was on his own, even with the presence of his friends; and Jungkook was both terrified and excited.
He’d always dream of the start of his college life. Jungkook was a bit of a dreamer, and he aimed to live out the best life possible; all while trying to juggle his academics and do some extracurriculars on the side. When he told Taehyung about his ambitions, his friend just blinked and him and offered a snort; with an almost taunting pat on his shoulder.
You’ll see.
Jungkook didn’t know what he meant then, and he can only wait to find out.
“Do you need help moving in? Tae and I just finished a lecture and we’ve got the rest of the day off.” Jimin asks over the phone, and while Jungkook wants to start off his journey being independent; there were boxes of his belongings that looked way too unappealing to deal with alone.
“You’d to that?” Jungkook sighs, eyebrows furrowing when he searches for the box that goes into his bedroom.
“Come on, Kook.” Jimin whines, “You think your own hyungs won’t help you out?” His jibe is lighthearted, which only makes Jungkook roll his eyes at his friends' words.
“I know.” Jungkook affirms, “Just college life, you know? Thought you’d be busy having your third existential crisis of the week to help out.”
Jimin snorts over the line, “Try this day, kid.”
Jungkook chuckles, and mumbles something under his breath before puffing; grabbing his phone with his hand as he thinks of a question he’s meant to ask for a while, ever since he stepped foot onto campus and his accommodation.
“Is ____ with you?” Jungkook asks.
Jungkook did so some growing in the time after you’d graduated, and he supposes that he relied a little too much on you as well as Jimin and Taehyung growing up in high school. Because once the three of you graduated, Jungkook was essentially left to fend for himself when you no longer were able to pick him up with a call away or help him out with difficult math problems when you had college to worry about.
It was horrible at first, purely because Jungkook missed you and your kindness. Sure, phone calls and texts worked—but your presence was always more than what words could ever offer, and Jungkook found himself searching for other methods to survive the next two years in high school without you there looking over him.
His football teammates had always been just his football teammates until he was forced to fraternise with them on a deeper level, and he realised that they weren’t too bad. They were fun and full of life, definitely the type of people that he found himself having fun with. He’s always been surrounded with people that were older than him, you, Jimin and Taehyung for example—and having peers his age to hang out with was a pandora box he never knew he’d ever get used to.
Take Eunwoo for example. Jungkook was petrified of him because there was no way a sixteen-year-old could look that could, and if he looked like that before puberty finished its course—then what the hell was he going to look like after?
But he was a nice guy, a fun person to hang out with and he definitely taught Jungkook some things he’d never dare ask Jimin or Taehyung. Things about women and men; the interrelationships that could be navigated with enough practice.
And enter Yuna, the first girl he’s ever had the ability to get to know in his life besides you. It was the typical cheerleader-meets-footballer trope that Jungkook would always scoff at, but according to Eunwoo “it’s only right that the same type of people minded together.”
Jungkook furrowed his brows when Eunwoo clasped him on his back when he told him that with a wink, suggestive eyes when he exposed a not-so-secret that Yuna had on Jungkook after one of their football games during his senior year.
But Jungkook thought otherwise, probably because he remembered you telling him that people were fundamentally different and social interactions with different walks of life only made life more beautiful and worth living. Seeing the diversity in cultures and experiences opens up our hearts to a world that doesn’t exist for us—it keeps us humble.
Jungkook blindly agreed then, likely entranced with you in general to consider the weight of your words. But Eunwoo was like a constant reminder, and he was older then—a little more subdued enough to pay attention to the words of his friend.
And when Jungkook continued his high school life, it seemed like more and more people seemed to pay attention to him. It wasn’t like he was unpopular before, he definitely caught the eyes of many—but it was different then. It was like Jungkook was his own person and people thought he was cool enough to approach.
So when Yuna shyly asked him out for a date, Jungkook said yes even though he still thought of you.
And when Eunwoo slapped a pack of condoms into his palm while his other football teammates hollered, Jungkook took the leap of faith and lost his virginity the same night.
So, yeah. Jungkook did some growing up—and he hopes that it’ll be enough for you to see him as a man.
“—she’s always doing so much that she barely has time for us and I get that she’s always been an overachiever but we miss her, you know?” Jimin complains, and Jungkook just about returns back from his flashback.
“Sorry, what did you say?” Jungkook says sheepishly.
“Were you not listening to me rant for the past five minutes?” Jimin exasperates and Jungkook hears some shuffling and a chuckle, possibly coming from Taehyung, on the other end of the line.
“You do have the tendency to go off tangent, Jimin,” Jungkook mutters.
Jimin scoffs, “It’s called paying attention to the details you brat. But anyway, to sum it up for you since you wanna be annoying—_____ isn’t with us. She’s got this student council thing and a meeting with a bunch of ambassadors visiting the campus in the evening.”
Jungkook blinks, taking a moment to process the information. He smiles fondly to himself, realising that you always did fine on your own—and he supposes it’s always been that way. You were quiet and never imposing, but you still did your best.
“Oh.” Jungkook says, “Will I be able to see her soon?”
Jimin snorts on the other end.
“Why are you asking me? You have her number right?” Jimin retorts, “Though it may be difficult reaching her cause she takes like five business days to reply if you aren’t work-related.”
Jungkook chuckles while he fiddles with his thumb. He can see you working hard, eyebrows furrowed as you type out emails and organise events like the efficient woman you were.
He’s seen pictures of you on social media, courtesy of Jimin and Taehyung who’d post stories of your pouts when they’d drag you out for some social time, according to their captions. And God, did you grow up even more beautiful than you were in high school.
Jungkook saw you as the girl he admired in high school and it was mostly his puppy-loved up brain thinking of you like this super smart and out of his reach senior that he wanted to respect. But now that Jungkook was … older. He still thinks you’re admirable and smart, but he can’t lie and say he didn’t notice other things.
Like how certain tops flatter your collarbones so nicely that he wonders what it’s like to sink his teeth into them. Or how you’ve experimented with tennis skirts that look like easy access for a territory Jungkook’s used as one of many of his spank bank materials. Even the way your eyes innocently glance up in pictures makes Jungkook’s brain hazy.
Jungkook was older, and so were you. The two of you were in college and it was different. You weren’t just his high school senior and he wasn’t just the little kid that worshipped you. It was free game and Jungkook wanted to make to most out of it.
“I will.” Jungkook nods with a declaration and a sense of determination in his chest. “What time does she finish?”
A brief moment of silence until Jimin responds, snorting to himself.
“She usually gets off her meetings at—10 pm?” Jimin ponders out loud. “You’re really going to wait for her?”
Jungkook wants to add he’s been doing that all this while, but keeps it to himself.
“Just can’t wait to see her.” He shrugs casually.
“You still have that schoolboy crush on her?” Jimin teases. But Jungkook doesn’t flush this time. He’s had his handful of experiences to navigate his way with feelings and desire.
“Not a crush.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. But he wasn’t going to admit that to Jimin or Taehyung just yet. “Is it bad to want to see an old friend?”
“Whatever you say, Jungkook.” Jimin sing-songs. “But I will warn you; _____ isn’t the type.”
At this, Jungkook furrows his eyebrows.
“What?”
Jimin sighs, “Whatever it is you’re thinking … stop.” And his words oddly set off an uneasy feeling in Jungkook’s chest that he doesn’t like. “You know _____. She’s not the kind of person that dates or fucks around. I don’t think she’s even looked at any guy on campus ever since we were enrolled two years ago.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes, feeling slightly ashamed that he’s been caught so early on. But along with growing up, Jungkook’s grown quite a bit of an ego too.
“What makes you think I want to fuck her? What if I really just miss her?” Jungkook snaps.
“Kook, I love you and you’re my best friend but I’ve seen your Instagram stories and escapades. I have no problem with you being sexually active or whatever—you do you, as long as it’s consensual and within respectable boundaries. I know you think college is like this unobstructed territory where you can just fuck around with people but _____ really isn’t like that. I’ve been there and I’m telling you to drop it.”
Jungkook clenches his jaw, “You’ve wanted to fuck her?” Jungkook accuses.
He can practically hear and feel Jimin’s eye roll over the phone.
“No, you idiot.” Jimin sighs, “I’ve had the same intentions as you with other women. While they may be receiving and comfortable with that, _____ won’t be. I hear and recognise your tone and I’m warning you against it.”
Jungkook purses his lips, wanting to defend himself further. But he realises, who is Jimin to tell him what to do with his life? He isn’t a kid anymore.
“You’re reaching.” Jungkook tells Jimin, “You don’t have to worry okay? I just miss ____ and I want to see her before orientation on Friday. Is that a crime?”
“Again, I don’t know what you really want so I won’t project anymore. But I’m telling you, ______ is _____. You don’t think dudes have tried with her before?”
Somehow the revelation of the fact that you did have two years to mingle around with other people and potentially get with men (or women) that weren’t him causes a different type of dread to fill his stomach, an ugly emotion of jealousy. One that he’s never felt before and he doesn’t like it at all.
“God, I haven’t even seen you yet and you’re already micromanaging my entire life.” Jungkook scowls.
“The double standard is real.” Jimin scoffs, “You used to follow _____ around like a lost puppy when we knew each other first? I feel betrayed, man.” Jimin is joking but the reminder makes Jungkook still.
"That's ... different." Jungkook protests.
Jimin snorts as if he doesn't believe his friend.
"Oh, it is different all right. You, my friend, are whipped." He snickers, "Too bad the two of you are basically polar opposites, huh?"
Jungkook freezes on the other end when Jimin casually lets it slip the thought that somewhat plagues his mind, too.
"We're not that different." Jungkook defends himself.
"Says you Mr Athlete all throughout high school. I bet you ten bucks that you were already recruited by one of the football dudes here."
Jungkook scowls because Jimin was spot on.
"Okay. I do sports and she doesn't. That's it." Jungkook snaps.
Jimin clicks his tongue, "You're all for the attention, dude. _____ always keeps it on the down-low while you do your best when people are cheering you on. It's like the spotlight follows you wherever you go and she does her best avoiding it."
Jimin clenches his jaw because while Jimin's words were lighthearted, and he knew better than to ever put you down because the three of you were all good friends—the fact that someone as close to the two of you as Jimin; was laying out the obvious makes Jungkook doubt himself a lot more.
"Oh, and you're the best at psychoanalysing people right?" Jungkook sneers.
Jimin snickers on the other end but Jungkook can't find it in himself to laugh.
"Relax. I'm joking, all right?" Jimin reassures his friend. "You don't even like her that way, right? That's what you said anyway."
Right. He didn't. That's what he told Jimin.
"Right," Jungkook says stiffly.
"If the two of you ever ended up together, though ..." It's as if Jimin was the one dead-set on pushing for it as Jungkook wishes for him to drop it. "Nah. It wouldn't happen. It probably wouldn't work out either."
Jungkook forces a dry chuckle before muttering a lame excuse and hanging up.
He loved Jimin, the guy was a good friend on an average day and an absolute sweetheart on better ones. And Jungkook knew that Jimin meant no malice when he spoke of the potential relationship between you and Jungkook because, well ... Jungkook has always been the younger guy. And that would be weird, wouldn't it?
But Jungkook knows he's done some growing up. And he'll prove it—in whatever way possible.
Jimin doesn’t need to know.
#bts fic#bts imagine#bts fics#bts imagines#bts smut#bts x reader#jungkook fanfic#jungkook imagine#jungkook angst#bts fluff#jungkook fluff#jungkook x oc#jungkook x reader#jungkook#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook x reader#bts angst#bts fanfic#bts jungkook
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This Week in BL
March 2021 Part 4
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.
This is a LONG ONE, it’s been A WEEK everyone.
Ongoing Series - Thai
Lovely Writer Ep 5 - a little slow this week, but at least Gene finally flirted back, and very cute flirting it was, too. Also we got Aey’s motivation, background, and love interest. Thank goodness for that.
Brothers Ep 8 - still pants, what can I say? Clearly I am a BL masochist. Very embarrassing for everyone concerned.
1000 Stars Ep 9 - the conflict over Tian’s father was REALLY well done. The plot of this drama is excellent, the leads are great together, and yes I totally cried. What, you didn’t?
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Word of Honor (China) Ep 16-18 - big battle fighty fighty stabby stabby. Ep 17 switches to “this drama isn’t big enough for two chaotic-neutral godlings!” So what do they do? Drink together and bicker... A LOT. Then in Ep 18 we all get the dubious joy of really freaky puppets. (I HATE puppets.) Also how is China letting this be so SO VERY VERY GAY? Also, I wanna walk through the forest wearing a smanshy purple robe and waving a big fuck-off white fan around simply because I’m a pretentious fuss monger. And frankly, I feel like this is an achievable life goal for me.
We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 4 - not gonna lie, this is looking to be one of my top 3 BLs of 2021. It’s SO GOOD. Big bonus to this ep for treating stalker behavior like the mental illness it is and not as some dumb representation of enduring love.
The Most Peaceful Place is My Place (Vietnam) Ep 1 - finally dropped (find it under NƠI BÌNH YÊN NHẤT LÀ VỀ BÊN EM on O2′s channel). It’s got actors already comfortable with BL and looks pretty good so far. An angry tsundere uke reunited with his ex, a stoic chef, giving us lots of snap, crackle, and pop out the gate.
Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 2 - I want to love it, but it is just moving too fast. There’s not enough character dev and then they’re throwing flashbacks in? It feels like a treatment rather than a show, and a rushed treatment at that. Bummer.
HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 2 (AKA Ep 3-4) - let the cheesy popcorn continue! Idiot remains an idiot; ingenue remains an ice queen; nice gay guy remains nice and gay; obsessive stalker brother is getting ever more whackadoddle. Of course these last two have the best chemistry. (It’s caregiver codependency and the salvation trope. We got us a Leo/Fiat situation going on.) Plus lots of classic BL tropes because OF COURSE there are lots of tropes.
Occasionally, I am tempted to argue that shows like H4 or Cherry Magic or Ossan’s Love aren’t technically BL because of the office setting and age of the protags - but then they all behave like high school students anyway, so *shrug*
Stand Alones
Cute little Taiwanese micro BL Friend or Lover dropped, about bisexual realization within a friendship group. Normally these are too short for me, but this one did pretty good with its 15 minutes of charm, plus it’s abad boy + shy softy pairing.
Breaking News - Thai BL
Fish Upon the Sky released its actual trailer. The upside-down kiss is gone, which makes everyone sad, and it seems far less rivals to lovers than the first iteration, which makes ME sad. But it still looks good and a more classic BL than GMMTV has given us in a while. New trailer focused more on the makeover trope and they’ve upped Mix’s role (the object of everyone’s affection) now that he’s proved himself. (Or they are using him more to carry the trailer since he has a fan base form 1k*). Starts April 9 on GMMTV in 1K*’s time slot, probably with a 10 ep run.
2gether the movie is apparently coming April 22 to Thai theaters. F4 Thailand must be having issues or GMMTV just wants to milk the BrightWin cash cow. It’s rumored to be a combination of 2gehter + Still 2gether with some extra scenes and ending. Also, one assumes a lot will be cut out, if it’s movie length.
Call It What You Want released its updated trailer. If anything, it looks more scary than before. What are we in for? April 9th.
Nitiman got a release date, May 7 on One31.
I Told Sunset About You 2 got an updated release date of May 27 on LineTV.
Second Chance the series is coming to LineTV on March 29. I don’t know much about this one. Tons of familiar faces (mostly TharnType side dishes) and some nice looking new talent but a dearth of eng subs. I think it may take on Brothers’ time slot. Line did eng subs for Brothers so maybe they will do 2nd Chance too?
Close Friend the series is coming April 22. This is a combination of 6 couples with 6 story arcs as music videos (maybe)? It’s an epic fan service with familiar faces like OhmFluke (UWMA), MaxNat (LBC also in Y-Destiny), YoonLay (YYY also in Y-Destiny), KimCop (GenY), and JaFirst (TT2).
Y-Destiny starts March 30, and has starting dropping couple’s trailers. I’m still suspicious given the director but it seems like there is plot (or plots) and a theme. Looks to be a series of 7 single ep vignettes (amended, see comments, might be 2 eps each for 14 eps total), different couple each time, some with supernatural elements, all with decent chemistry and acting chops.
Sun MaxNat’s tutor/student arc
Mon jaded rich kid meets poor innocent
Tues sports romance enemies to lovers
Weds the messy realistic actual dating one
Thurs hot ghost boyfriend (sad)
Fri YoonLayPerth coping with loss and finding new love (sad). This one will all rest on Lay's acting so we know it’s in safe hands. Our boy is going to KILL it.
Sat time-slip memory loss reunion romance
I’m thinking we can’t expect any of these to end happy or be classic BL. They’re gonna be more slice of life-ish.
Gossip - BL Outside of Thailand
Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) got a legit teaser (eng sub here). @curriculumvtae reports that it’s releasing April 15th on WeTV (Philippines & Thailand) and Idol Romance (South Korea), while Will of Thai Bl says it’ll be on Viki too. It’s a short run of 8 ep built on a fake relationship trope (arranged marriage variant):
Ryu Ho Seon’s (Kang In Soo from You Wish) arranged marriage turns out to be with his expected bride’s brother, Choi Ki Wan (Lee Se Jin from Mr Heart). Ryu tries to undo the marriage, but his ill mother opposes this saying the scandal would be too much. Meanwhile, Kim Tae Hyeong (Jang Eui Soo from Where Your Eyes Linger), a senior at Ryu’s school, comes to congratulate him and falls in love with Choi. Then one day, the original bride disappears.
Okay it seems a bit twisty turny for ONLY 8 EPS, but oh my goodness how excited are we? Our first intentional historical BL out of Korea!
We already knew Hong Kong was doing a remake of Japan’s Ossan’s Love under the same name (not my favorite Japanese BL but so very popular) but it’s now reported to be coming to Viu in June. Who knows how the CFA will take it. Depends on whether Hong Kong bows before the NO GAY KISSES regs or if they are going to use this as a political nose thumb... things could get cray with this puppy (the original has several kisses and s shower scene). Are we back in Addicted territory only with added comedy and civil unrest?
Speaking of Japan, Absolute BL (AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko) dropped sooner than anyone thought, March 27. But being Japanese who knows how/when/if we get subs. Protag finds himself trapped in a world of BL, but being straight he fights against any hot guy that draws near, but the whole world (literally) is conspiring against him. It’s a parody adapted from a yoai.
What with Absolute BL from Japan plus Lovely Writer and Call it What You Want from Thailand, is 2021 the year of BL being ultra self referential? Sure feels like it.
In Case You Missed It
Faded a gay micro film from Taiwan from 2017 deals with parental acceptance and serves up a ton of BL tropes (piggyback, forehead kiss, etc). I’m pretty sure this was a propaganda piece for legalization of gay marriage, and it’s an interesting nugget of BL history as a result. Yes, it ends happy. It’s cute.
Next Week Looks Like This:
Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons.
Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.
Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.
Man there’s a lot going on right now! Spring has sprung... I suppose.
P.S. I cannot believe I missed Absolute BL as a blog name. Numbnuts = me.
#asian bl#asianbl#thai bl#thaibl#brothers the series#lovely writer#1000 stars#a tale of thousand stars#We Best Love: Fighting Mr.2nd#taiwanese bl#taiwan drama#history 4: close to you#dear uranus#taiwanese GL#asian gl#second chance the series#2gether the movie#y-destiny#friend or lover#Fish Upon The Sky#Call It What You Want#close friend the series#i told the sunset about you 2#faded short#oassan's love#japanese bl#absolute bl#Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding#korean bl#nitiman
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Bragger (M. Barzal)
A/n: This is based of Kelsea Ballerini’s Bragger and a very self-indulgent fic. Enjoy!!
Warnings: Brief mentions of sex
Word Count: 5.3k (including song lyrics)
Italics are flashbacks
“So, Yn, tell us all about Mathew. What’s he like?” Candace, your maid of honor, asks.
You look at her puzzled. “What do you mean ‘what’s he like’?”
You were sitting at your bachelorette party; you didn’t want anything too big, so you decided on brunch with some of your friends, bridal party, and the WAGs.
“I mean, tell us all about him. How happy he makes you, how he drives you crazy but in the good way. Just brag about your fiance. Today is about you so whatever you want to share.
You smile just thinking about Mathew. Yeah, you could talk about him for days. His smile. The way his hair curls over his forehead. His arms. Dear Lord, don’t get started on his arms. You were about to start but remembered Liana, Mathew’s sister, was sitting with you as well. You didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. You also didn’t really want to brag about your relationship.
“Liana, are you okay with this? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” you say. You and Liana have grown quite close during your relationship with Mathew and especially close after the proposal.
Liana just smiles. “Go ahead, bride-to-be. It is your bachelorette party. You go talk about the man you love.”
“Well, then. What do you want to know?” You say with a smirk on your face.
He's got the look, he's got the touch He's got the eyes that make me crush And he's not one to make a scene But he deserves the spotlight He ain't from 'round this side of town But he fits in to every crowd And he knows how to do my body and my heart right
Mathew Barzal. Where do you even begin? The start? The first time you kissed? The way he walks around your apartment without a shirt on because (a) he refuses to do so and (b) knows it gets you going? The beautiful eyes that make you want to melt the minute you look into them? Just the fact that he knows exactly what to do to make you weak in your knees? The fact that Mathew knows exactly what to do to make the heat rush to your face and make you flustered? The list goes on and on.
“Tell us about something he does that annoys you but you secretly love,” Tessa, your high school best friend, says. She knows exactly what you’re going to say. You have spilled this to her multiple times. However, the fact that she’s asking makes your heart grow warm, best friends forever, right?
You pretend to ruminate over what to say. You, once again, look at Liana for reassurance. You doubt she wants to hear about her brother walking around half-naked. She nods and signals you to continue. You take a deep breath; you never did like talking about yourself. “Um, well, he walks around our apartment without a shirt on all the time. Not even in the mornings after we wake up. He just refuses to ever wear a shirt.”
Some of the girls sigh. Grace, Anders’ wife, and Sydney, Matt’s wife, look at you with understanding. Hockey players really hate wearing shirts and love showing off their chests. Grace and Sydney know exactly what you’re talking about.
“He claims it’s because he knows he can get a rouse out of me, which he can, but it’s also because I don’t think he likes to wear a shirt.”
“Mathew is very proud of the way he looks,” Liana adds and you smile knowing that she knows what Mathew is like. “When he used to come home before dating you, mom had to remind him to put on a shirt.”
You laugh. “I try to tell him to put on a shirt but he always just,” you pause reminiscing the memory. “He’ll just,” you feel the rush of heat to your cheeks as you try to put the words together.
“Even without Mathew here, he’s got you flustered,” Grace says with a warm smile. She loves seeing two young people hopelessly in love.
You shake your head playfully but put on a large smile. “He’ll do this thing with his face and then kiss me in a way that knocks out my breath, and I just forget about him putting on a shirt.”
“He just gets away with not wearing a shirt? He just kisses you and that’s it?” one of your bridesmaids questions. She smirks. “My husband has to do more than just kiss me for me to forget he’s walking around without a shirt.”
“Well, no wonder you’re pregnant,” you playfully retort. She knows you’re joking, and she smiles back at you.
“You’ve got me there, ynn.” The group erupts into laughter.
“Well, then, if we’re on the topic of kissing. I’m not going to ask what happens behind the doors for your own privacy. But, what’s it like kissing Mathew?” Lila, another bridesmaid, asks.
You melt at the thought of kissing Mathew. A wide smile erupts across your face.
“Clearly he kisses tremendously well,” Liana says, and her response shocks you.
You look at her and glare at her playfully.
“I’m just making an observation. Just the thought of kissing my brother puts a giant smile on your face.”
“Yeah, you’re not wrong there. I’m not sure if this is going to make sense but just here me out. When he kisses me, I never doubt he loves me. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small peck, a passionate kiss, or we’re making out. Sorry, Liana. There’s always love, and it’s almost as if it’s overflowing.”
“Oh, to be young and in love,” someone comments and everyone laughs.
“We do this thing where, assuming he’s not on a road trip, we always kiss each other good night, even if we’re angry. Yeah, I know the marriage advice. Don’t go to bed angry. Blah blah. Okay. But still. We’ll be angry and have yet to resolve the fight and just go to bed. We kiss each other goodnight angrily but the love is still there. I don’t doubt it. The way his lips linger on mine, and the gentleness despite being angry is there. I always go to bed knowing that we can sort out whatever problem we are having at the moment.”
“You guys are literally what I strive to have in a relationship,” Candace says. She wiggles her eyebrows as she says the next thing. “Any more kissing stories? Maybe some not so clean?”
You were taking a sip of your mimosa, and you choked on it. The heat immediately rushes to your face, and you know exactly what she wants. Just thinking about Mathew’s lips on anywhere else other than your lips has you turning to putty. You have to put down your glass for fears of dropping it and spilling it. These were nice glasses. You had them made that says ‘I Do Crew’, and you didn’t want to break them. Your reaction has everyone snickering.
“I hate to interject but if you’re going to talk about your sex life, I’m going to have to walk away,” Liana says. She can stomach talking about her brother kissing you but anything more than that was not something she was comfortable with.
“Yeah, I don’t think I’m comfortable talking about that, especially this sober.”
“Well, then, we have to think of something else. Come on ladies, we can figure this out.” Candace says. You really didn’t like talking about yourself. You don’t want to brag because you know that not everyone can have what you have with Mathew.
I don't wanna be a bragger But my man's a heart attacker Like McConaughey and Jagger Hotter than a Saturday night I can't help it that I flaunt him (All the time) I understand why you would want him (I don't mind) And you can keep up all the chatter 'bout my happy ever after 'Cause all that really matters is he's mine
Candace is about to say something but is stopped when you get a phone call. You look at the caller ID and see that it’s Mathew.
“Speaking of the lover,” Candace says, and you glare at her. “Just answer the phone. We’ll use your reactions as a conversation point.”
You pick up the phone and instantly have a giant smile on your face as Mathew says “Hi, baby.” The girls around you hoot and holler at your grin.
“Hey,” you say back to him.
“Wow, it sounds like you’re in a hockey locker room. How’s it going? I just wanted to check on you. I’m about to head out for my event.” Tito is taking Mathew and his friends to go golfing and then a dinner tonight for Mathew’s Bachelor party.
“Yeah, it seems like that sometimes. We’re doing well. We ate already and might get some dessert in a bit.”
“What are you guys talking about?”
“Funny enough, you.”
You can’t see him but you know that there’s a giant smirk on his face. “Oh yeah? What about me are you talking about?”
“Nothing in particular. Just everything I love about you. The way you walk around the apartment without a shirt. The way you kiss.”
“Well, make sure you tell them about that thing I do with my lips that makes you moan my name in bed.” You instantly feel the heat rush to both your face and core remembering exactly what Mathew is talking about.
“We’ve established that I wasn’t going to talk about things like that and also your sister is here, so.”
“Well, I’ll let you go and also Tito is yelling at me to get going. I love you, future-Mrs.-Barzal.”
“I love you, too, future husband.” You hang up the phone with a giant smile on your face and the girls around you all smile. “What?”
Sydney smiles back at you. “The giant smile on your face. Mathew makes you really happy.”
Your smile, if possible, gets wider. “Yeah, he makes me really happy, and I love him more than anything.”
“It’s obvious,” Candace says. “Also, what did he say to tell us that we established we weren’t going to discuss?”
You feel your cheeks warm up again. You ignore Candace’s statement and turn to the chocolate-chip muffin on your plate.
“Oh come on, Ynn. Tell us.
“Um, Liana, I’m sorry you have to hear this,” you begin hesitantly. She just looks at you. “He told me to tell you guys about that thing he does in bed that um,” Liana nods for you to continue. “Makes me moan and yell his name.”
The girls just stare at you.
“I’m not going to, though. That’s, um, a rather private matter, and I feel the need to express that I am not going to elaborate.”
Liana smiles. “Hey, at least my brother knows how to make you feel good, right?”
You look at her and are surprised that she’s not completely disgusted with what you said.
“Don’t worry. I’m here as your friend not Mathew’s brother.”
“Yn, we want more, please tell us more!” another one of the girls at the table says to you. You really didn’t want to brag about your relationship with Mathew. It was strong, loving, healthy, and made you extremely happy. There was something about Mathew, however, that made you want to talk about him and put him on display.
You smile. “What do you want to know?”
I've got his nights, I've got his name There ain't no shame in this girl's game If he was yours, you'd do the same Without apologizing
The girls wanted a story from the first year in your relationship. What story to tell them? There were so many. You first thought instantly goes to the first time you ever wore his jersey and went to one of his games. You begin telling the story.
You and Mathew had been dating for almost seven months before he invited you to a game. He wanted to make sure that you weren’t with him for his money or fame, and you understood that. You never prompted him or forced him to insert yourself into his life. You let Mathew decide when he wanted to introduce to his friends and teammates. You were fully content on watching Mathew from your television on game nights.
However, one night, Mathew decided that he wanted to have you at the game. It was a home game against the Rangers, a rivalry that has a long history in New York. He bought you your tickets and told you that your seats weren’t with the other WAGs per your request. You didn’t want to sit with them quite yet until you were ready, and Mathew respected that. Also, he had yet to tell anyone on the team he was seeing anyone.
When you left for work the morning of the game, Mathew was still there. However, when you got home, he wasn’t but in his place was a jersey. Not just any jersey, however, it was Mathew’s jersey with his number and last name on it. You looked at it and smiled; you couldn’t wait to wear it for him.
About an hour later, you put on the jersey and head to the arena. When you’re seated, you finally realize how close up your seats are. You looked around and were so giddy. You were going to be watching your boyfriend, whom you were sure you were in love with, play the sport he absolutely loves.
You watched the boys come out for warm ups, and your heart swelled. He was in his element, and he looked so happy. You loved how effortlessly he made the sport look, and you loved how he interacted with his teammates. You were so caught up in watching him that you didn’t notice that Mathew was watching you. It took a few moments, but you did eventually realize, and you both laughed. You remember someone, who you now know was Anders, smacking Mathew over the shoulder.
The Islanders won that night in a overtime, and you were beyond elated. Mathew told you that he’d meet you at your car and that he did.
When you saw him, you jumped into his arms and held him tightly. “You played so well, baby.”
Mathew pulls away for a moment and looks down at you. “Yeah, well I had the woman I love in the stands and my new good luck charm.”
You pull back for a moment. Were you hearing this right? Did Mathew just tell you he loved you?
“Before you start overthinking everything and scrunch up your nose in that really adorable way, let me just confirm, yes, I do love you. Yn, I love you.”
“I wasn’t going to overthink anything, you’re wrong.”
Matthew laughs. “You know, you’re avoiding the obvious.”
You knew you were. “I thought I was pointing out the obvious.”
“Do you need me to say it again, yn?” Mathew asks.
You pretend to ponder it. “Yeah, I do, Mathew.”
“Yn, I love you.”
You smile. “I love you, too, Mathew.” You remember him leaning down and kissing you. You remember that you both had to eventually separate so that you could drive back to your place. You remember that night that you fell asleep in Mathew’s arms hopeful of what can happen one day.
“Oh yeah, I remember that,” Grace says. You look at her puzzled. “Anders, Tito, and I think Sydney and Matt were there, too. Anders said that Mathew was staring at a girl, so we all followed Mathew secretly, and we saw you guys.”
“That’s right! That did happen!” Sydney remarks.
“So, you weren’t really shocked when Mathew finally introduced me to all of you?”
“No, we really weren’t. We didn’t quite see your face, but we knew Mathew was seeing someone.” Sydney answers.
“We finally realized what was behind Mathew’s stellar playing. Anders once came home from a roadie saying that Mathew was playing extremely well and wasn’t sure what to correlate it to. Now we know, it was you.” Grace says.
Your smile reaches ear to ear.
“That’s so cute and romantic, you guys. The two of you were made for each other.” Candace dotes.
You smile. You didn’t want to brag but yes, you and Mathew were made for each other. Yes, sometimes it was hard, but you knew that at the end of the day, you and Mathew loved each other to pieces.
“Hmm. Tell us about meeting Mathew for the first time. That has to be a story.” Tessa. You smile at the memory.
You were running late. The uptown 4 train in Brooklyn was having a bunch of delays, and you didn’t have time to walk to the closest 5 train station. The 4 train heading uptown to Brooklyn Bridge finally came and you jumped on. You breathed a sigh of relief as the train rolled away from the station. However, you became aggravated when it stopped in the middle of the tunnel, and an announcement came that the train would be moving shortly. Yeah, you knew what that meant. You could either be moving again in two minutes or two hours.
Twenty minutes passed, and your feet were starting to ache. You really wished that you wore flats on your commute and then changed into your heels at work.
“Did you want to sit?” someone asked. You remember looking up. “Your feet look like they’re killing you, did you want to sit? I don’t mind standing.”
“Oh, um, no it’s okay, I’m good.” You remember saying.
“No, really, I insist,” he insisted.
You shake your head. “I’m fine, I promise.”
“So, then, if I stand up, you’re not going to sit down?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.
“No, someone else can sit,” you remember saying. You weren’t one to take up offers like this out of respect for the other person, and you were also very stubborn.
He chuckles and sighs. “Can you just sit? I don’t know why you won’t take up the offer of my generosity. I just don’t think you’re really all that comfortable.”
You hesitate.
“What if,” he proposes. “I got up and said I wanted to stretch my legs, and you just took up the opportunity to sit?”
You look at him and are about to say something, but he gets up and mumbles something about needing to stretch his legs. He gives you a knowing look (one that you’ve grown to love). and you know you are going to sit. So, you sit. You breathe a sigh of relief, and he laughs softly.
“See, was that so hard?”
You look at him and grumble. “No.”
He laughs and time passes quickly. It only took thirty more minutes after this for the train to start moving. You exited the Brooklyn Bridge - City Hall station ninety minutes after you would have liked. You were fast walking because you had to catch the Uptown 3 train.
“Hey, wait,” you don’t think this person is talking to you, so you keep walking. He taps your shoulder, and you finally turn around. “I know this is weird, but can I get your number?”
You remember looking at him shocked and he laughed at you.
“I’m Mathew, and there’s something about you that I want to get to know better.”
For some reason, that cheesy line made you smile, and you gave him your number. And, as they say, the rest is history.
“Wait, Mathew took the subway?” Liana asks puzzled.
“Yeah, he said that he was running late for meeting Tito, and he thought taking the subway would be faster. Clearly, it wasn’t.” You explain.
“Oh, Yn, give us more stories about you and Matthew,” one of the girls says.
You smile softly. You really weren’t sure what else more to say. You really didn’t want to brag about your relationship with Mathew. The constant theme in your relationship was that you kept private things private. Mathew was private in the sense of the media, and you were just a private person all around. But, something about today and the girls asking made you want to spill literally everything.
“I’d ask about the proposal, but Mathew has shared that a million times,” Candace jokes. “Just give us a random story that makes you laugh or smile.”
“I can give you that,” you say. You ruminate for a moment and begin.
Matthew was spending the weekend with you because he didn’t have any games, and they just came off of a two week road trip. You guys missed each other, and, at the stage your relationship was at, being without each other for even an hour was unbearable. This was not to say, though, that it was easy to be apart now. Only, now, you both have learned to find a way to make that pain ease a bit.
It was 12:34pm on a Saturday, and you were hungry for lunch. Mathew said he was taking you out for his favorite sushi place and told you to eat a light lunch. So, you were going to make some avocado toast. No, nothing fancy. The basic summary was that you had pumpernickel bread and a ripe avocado that might go bad soon.
You retreat from the warmth of Mathew, the pillows, and blankets to make some toast. You didn’t hear Mathew follow you; you actually didn’t think he was going to considering you told him you’d just bring it to him. You put the bread in the toaster and pulled out a knife to cut the avocado. You waited for a few minutes as the bread toasted. You looked out into the living room but didn’t see Mathew. You figured that he went to the washroom.
The toaster dings, and the toast pops out. You put the toast on the plate and begin cutting the avocado to spread onto the toast. Suddenly, you feel two very strong arms snake around your waist. It’s Matthew, who else?
“You cut your avocado weirdly,” he says, and you just look at him.
What? “What?”
“You cut the avocado weirdly.”
You snicker. “What is a not weird way to cut your avocado?”
“I don’t know, I just know you cut it weirdly.”
“Why can’t it be that I cut it normally, and you cut it weirdly?”
“Because, yn, you need a weird thing.”
You giggle. “Why do I need a weird thing?”
“Because all people in a relationship have a weird thing that only the other person in it knows.”
“So, you’re telling me that my weird thing is that I cut avocados weirdly?”
“Mhm, exactly.” Mathew takes a piece of toast with avocado already on it and bites into it.
“Despite that, though, you still make very tasty avocado toast, babe.”
“Well, if my weird thing is about cutting avocado, what’s you weird thing?”
“I don’t know, you have to figure it out on your own.”
You remember smiling and then kissing his cheek. Dinner that night did not disappoint, and Mathew brought you to the right restaurant.
“Did you ever figure out what his weird thing was?” Sydney asks.
“I mean, no? But, like, the way I cut the avocado is not weird, so I’m not sure what he was getting at. I told him that the way he ties his shoes was weird.”
“Not the skates?” Grace asks.
“No, not the skates. I told him that there was a difference between the skates and the shoes.”
The girls laugh. “How did you do that? Isn’t it the same?” Candace asks. “It is, but he wouldn’t tell me why the avocado cutting was weird, so I did this. He took me to the rink the day after I told him and forced me to watch him tie his skates like ten times. I guess it’s what I deserve.”
“That was a cute story. As my future sister-in-law, I want to say, I’m glad Mathew has you in his life.” Liana says.
You smile. “I can drink to that.” You all clink your glasses and take a sip.
You loved these girls and were so glad that you got to celebrate your Bachelorette with them. You wouldn’t have it any other way.
If he were a wine, he'd be the shelf at the top (Top) If he were a house, he'd be the end of the block (Block) Walked up to my heart and went, "Knock, knock, knock" So I've got to show him off
You got home that day at 4:00 pm and before Mathew. You were expecting that; Tito told you that Mathew and the boys would be out later only because their day started later. You went into your bedroom and changed out of your bride-to-be outfit and into your comfortable clothes. You took off your makeup and put your hair in a comfortable style. You were going to use the time to open some of the invitations you’ve received and mark down their attendance and meal choices.
Constantly, though, your mind went straight to Mathew. Every thought you had went back to Mathew but not in a sophomoric, conceited way. In a way that expressed your true love for him and how you felt. You didn’t like talking about your relationship with Mathew often; you enjoyed the privacy, and it allowed you to grow as a person both in the relationship and outside it.
However, this didn’t mean that you didn’t want to talk about Mathew all the time. You knew that if you didn’t control yourself, you’d be one of those girls that brought up her boyfriend at the most random times. You also knew that those types of girls were annoying, so you tried not to be like that.
That didn’t mean you didn’t let your mind wander to those places. Mathew was amazing. Sure, there were some flaws, but the great things about him enormously outweighed the flaws. Mathew had the most beautiful hazel eyes you have ever seen. Even if you had friends who hazel eyes, their eye color didn’t match Mathew’s, nothing could. He could be doing the most mundane task or thing and you’d immediately fall more in love. No question about it.
Physically? Mathew had the body of a Greek god and that drove your crazy. When he constantly walked around with a shirt on? You had to force yourself not to jump up and kiss him or run your hands down his broad, firm chest. When you both sat on the couch and he didn’t have a shirt on, you absolutely adored just running your hand up and down his abs as if it were a pillow. Yeah, you wanted to shout from your balcony that you had a hot boyfriend, no, fiance now, that you loved. You loved running your fingers through his hair. There was softness that was indescribable. His hair was rough but also soft at the same time. You constantly wanted to be touching him. All the time. You just needed to be close to Mathew at all times. You didn’t want to say you were clingy because you weren’t. You were just in love and wanted to be in the presence with him at all times. You loved to tell Mathew that you felt so lucky that you got to even be in the same universe as him. He laughed and said the fact that he got to even get your number was remarkable to him.
You were both crazy about each other and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
I don't wanna be a bragger But my man's a heart attacker (Oh, he is) Like McConaughey and Jagger Hotter than a Saturday night I can't help it that I flaunt him (All the time) I understand why you would want him (I don't mind) And you can keep up all the chatter 'bout my happy ever after 'Cause all that really matters is he's mine
Mathew got home that night at 9:32.
“Oh, you’re home early,” you said, and he came down and sat next to you.
Mathew smirked. “Hiding me from your boyfriend?”
Your face turns warm. “No, I just thought that you’d want to celebrate the last of your bachelor years with the boys instead of at home with me.”
“I celebrated my bachelor years already; now I’m coming home and celebrating what my future holds.”
You smile. “Look at you, Mathew Barzal; don’t you know the way into a girl’s heart.”
“I only want your heart, babe,” Mathew says and then kisses you. “How was your day with the girls?”
“It was nice. Oh! Did you know that Anders, Matt, Tito, Grace, and Sydney knew we were dating before you began officially hinting at it and introduced me?”
“What?”
“Yeah! I was telling them about the first time I went to one of your games, and Grace said they caught on to you staring at a girl. She was saying that they followed you secretly and saw us.”
“That’s, wow. I’m not sure how to respond.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter, now, does it? We are getting married.”
“That indeed we are, babe,” Mathew says as he reaches down and places a kiss on your temple. “So, what else did you talk about?”
“Wedding planning, you, other stuff, normal girl talk.”
“Did you just say ‘you’ as in me?”
You turn your head away bashfully. “Maybe.”
Mathew laughs his deep belly laugh. “What did you guys say? I mean, I know you were talking about me, but I didn’t think it was a lot.”
“They just wanted me to brag about you and everything. I told them about the story of when we first met, the avocado thing, how you don’t walk around with a shirt, the first time I went to one of your games.”
“Oh, speaking of,” Mathew takes off his shirt, and you laugh. Of course.
“They just wanted me to brag about my love and relationship with you.”
“You should, as bride-to-be.”
“How was your day?” you ask.
“Pretty good; it was fun, but I missed you.”
“Yeah, I missed you, too.”
“It’s funny, we can go a long time without seeing one another when I’m on the road. Don’t get me wrong, it’s quite unbearable but this honestly felt worse.”
“My take is that because we both know that we’re in the same city and can be with each other in probably under an hour. However, when you’re on the road, it’s less hard because you know that you have to be there.”
“Look at you, my intellectual fiance. Our children better get all your traits.”
“I think they should get your looks.”
“I don’t think so; no no.”
“I’m not arguing with you on this. How about a good mix?”
“Perfect, babe.” Mathew kisses you. “Do you want to go to bed? Maybe I can do that thing to you I was referencing earlier?”
The heat instantly rushes to your face, and Mathew instantly knows he’s got you in the palm of his hands. The way your eyes bulged out and swallowed deeply, Mathew just knew.
“I’m going to take that as a yes,” he picks you up and carries you to bed.
Yeah, you didn’t want to brag about your relationship with Mathew, but he was too amazing not to.
I don't wanna be a bragger But my man's a heart attacker (Oh, he is) Like McConaughey and Jagger Hotter than a Saturday night I can't help it that I flaunt him (All the time) I understand why you would want him (I don't mind) And you can keep up all the chatter 'bout my happy ever after 'Cause all that really matters is he's mine
Taglist: @goalision @coffee-ontherocks @glassdanse @barzal-burakovsky @petey-patty @beauvibaby @boqvistsbabe @rmaye @heatherawoowoo @heaveniish @stars-canucks @tkapuckit @mellany1997 @nhlboyshavemyhart88 @heybarzy @2manytabsopen @habsfan @besthockeyfics @plds2000 @kaitieskidmore1 @iwantahockeyhimbo @sidscrosbyy (Join my taglist here!)
#mathew barzal#mathew barzal imagine#mathew barzal fic#mathew barzal x reader#nhl fic#nhl writing#nhl imagine#hockey fic#hockey imagine#mat barzal#mat barzal imagine#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal fic#new york islanders imagine#new york islanders x reader#claudia writes
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Loving You (Part 3)
Part 1 I Part 2
I just finished writing... the first part. Oh god, this fic already has a sequel and I haven't posted all of it yet. Also, thanks for the support for me through hell week, it still isn't finished but apparently my muse likes to just tell my exams to f*ck off.
Warning : Omegaverse. Beta!Reader x Omega!Wanda Maximoff. Curse Words. Mentions of Bullying.
Also, just tell me if I need to add more warnings so I can edit as quickly as I can.
Taglist: @mitchiesdungeon / @upsidedowndanvers
Two weeks pass by and before you knew it, Wanda’s overwhelming scent invades your nose. You turn to her sharply and see that she’s wearing a jacket but it’s not enough. Jesus. You can even smell Pietro’s and he’s further down the hall. You quickly get the perfume from your locker and go to her. You see Tony take off his jacket and give it to Pietro while Pepper is assuring him that it’s okay. So he’s fine. You get to Wanda and take your own jacket off. Everyone knows that Pepper and Tony are set for life so him giving Pietro his jacket is just a sign for other Alphas to back off.
“Fuck.” Right. Beta. Not going to be enough. “Wanda.” You call out and you see Vision heading towards her. Oh. FUCK THAT. No one, specially Wanda gets to be claimed by an Alpha who hasn’t even bonded with anyone yet. Vision’s scent is overbearing because no one has ever sullied or claimed it yet. You look her in the eyes. “Do you trust me?” She furrows her eyebrows and nods. You spray the perfume and you can already feel your own heart calm down. Damn, this perfume really is the best.
-
Flashback
“Y/N.” It was your first day of school and you turn to see your Ma holding out a box… of perfume?
“What is this?”
“Scent hiding perfume.” You furrow your brows and look at Dahlia.
“For me?”
“No. For Omegas.”
“Am I-“ How did they know?... Do they know?
“That’s still unclear, sis.” Alsie says and pat your head. You sigh in relief, you weren’t ready to know just yet. “Just accept it and keep it in your locker. And if you smell an Omega’s scent which means-“
“They’re in heat.”
“That’s right, anak. This perfume is effective on hiding their heat’s scent.”
“Oh. Just like suppressant pills.”
“Yeah. Most Omegas’ heat scent can be suppressed by clothing and pills but if it can’t.”
“Then use this?”
“It’s highly effective. I gave some to my friends back in High School and it literally blows their heat scent away.”
“Oh. Nice. Do I give the whole bottle?”
“Yep. Better safe than never.”
“Gotcha.” You get the box and put it in your bag.
-
“What was that?” Wanda raises an eyebrow at you.
“Perfume.”
“Wanda.” Pietro calls out and both you and Wanda turn to him. He tilts his head. “You don’t have any smell.”
“It’s the wonder perfume.” Angel says and gets the bottle from you. “I can’t believe you have one of these.”
“Wonder Perfume?”
“Said to be only sold to known Omegas that have connections, this perfume can’t be found anywhere else.”
“It can cancel out any scent.” You get the bottle back and hold it out to Wanda.
“You’re giving it to me?” You smile.
“Yep. Better safe than sorry.” You get another one from your bag and toss it to Pietro. “If Tony’s scent ever runs out.” Tony growls at your words and Pepper puts a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. You roll your eyes.
“So you were that girl.” You tilt your head at Angel.
“What girl?”
“My first heat in this school and I haven’t met Natasha yet so I was hiding out in the bathroom since my brother’s scent was getting weak. When suddenly one of those bottles slid inside the toilet stall. Never knew who it was.”
“Ah.” You rub your neck. “I could smell your scent and just slid it without thinking.”
“How did you get these?”
“Ma gets those all the time. She gives me a box every time I run out of it.”
“A box!?” You nod.
“The one in my locker has only five bottles left.”
“But this thing isn’t sold in malls or online.”
“Yeah. I think one of mom’s clients is the owner and developer of it? I met her once at a Gala.” Angel’s jaw drops.
“Seriously?”
“Yep. I can tell Ma to get you some if you want it.”
“N-no. I already have Nat and her scent overpowers mine.”
“Oh. That’s good.” You grin and Wanda gulps. God, how could you be so adorable? “An Omega should never feel alone when they have a heat.” Angel narrows her eyes at you.
“What? Dependence on others?” You shake your head and give her a smile.
“No. Not dependence. Just lending a hand. Specially in time of need.” You wave them goodbye and go to your first class.”
-
You were waiting on the secluded bench when you hear two sets of footprints. You look up and see both Pietro and Wanda. They’re both wearing their dad’s jackets but Pietro is no longer wearing Tony’s.
“Hey, Y/LN.” He greets and you smile.
“Hey.” Wanda sits next to you and Pietro rubs his neck.
“Can I eat lunch with you guys? It feels awkward with my friends now that I returned Tony’s jacket.” Wanda narrows her eyes at him. You frown at him as well.
“Are they bull-“
“They’re not! It just feels awkward!” You chuckle and nod at him.
“You can’t. This is my and Y/N’s secret spot.”
“Wanda! Come on!” You sigh and stand.
“Take my spot.”
“But-“
“No buts. You’re in heat and it can get uncomfortable if you keep standing. So just sit.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll get something. Wait here for a second.” You leave them and Wanda glares at Pietro. He notices her.
“What!?” He asks as he unwraps his sandwich.
“Would you leave!? This is the only place Y/N eats with me!”
“Just this day! Jesus! Share your blessing!”
“I’d rather die than share Y/N!” You stop in your tracks as you hear Wanda’s words. You blush and you feel your heart beat faster. Damn it, why does she have this effect on you? You shake your head and take a deep breath to calm yourself down.
“I’m back.” You say as you drag the chair in front of them.
“Wha-“
“Where?”
“From over there. Used stuff that aren’t always stable get thrown there.” They look at each other then at you.
“Is that safe?” You shrug and sit. Wanda holds out a plastic bag to you and you get a sandwich and juice from it. You hum and smile. You moan at the first bite and Wanda blushes while Pietro laughs.
“Where’d you get this?”
“She prepared it herself.” Wanda elbows Pietro on the side and you eat more.
“Thanks for the food.” You say and grin at her. She blushes and smile at you.
-
You yawn as you get inside your last class and sit at your usual seat. Usually, you get the whole table by yourself but this time someone takes the seat besides you. You turn and see Angel who gives you a small wave. You nod at her and get your notebook out. You pay attention to the Professor. Then suddenly, Angel pokes you lightly and she points to her notebook where you see a question.
How many AP classes are you taking?
You hum and write your answer.
3 this year, why?
What are they?
Latin, Calculus and This, why?
Before either of you knew it, you were both having a conversation through the notebook.
Just asking, have you taken Japanese?
Yep.
Can you help me with my homework today? It’s hard and I don’t know where to start.
Sure, come with me to the library.
That’s perfect since Natasha has to help the Judo Club today.
You nod and after half an hour, the class ends. You stretch your body before putting your things in your bag.
“Why the library?” You yawn as you get out of the classroom.
“Wanda’s there.” Angel raises an eyebrow as she follows you.
“What’s with you and Wanda? You spend time everyday despite having different classes.” You hum and your sleep-deprived self has no more inhibition whatsoever. All you want is to take a nap. You were about to on lunch but Pietro was there. You couldn’t possibly do it on a chair that was about to break.
“I like her.” Angel grins teasingly but you don’t care anymore. You yawn again. “I think she likes me too but I’m too scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“Her. And society.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep.” You finally enter the library and Wanda waves at you but it falters when she spots Angel. She frowns. What are you doing with another Omega? Someone with a soulmate mark? You notice her gaze and go to her. “She’s here because she needs help with her homework.” You yawn again and Wanda furrows her eyebrows at you.
“Are you okay?” You hum and grin lazily at her.
“I’m fine.” Angel brings out her homework and after just half an hour, you’ve already helped her finish it. Before you knew it, you’ve closed your eyes and lean your head into Wanda. Angel hides her laugh as she reads her book on Japanese language. Wanda blushes as you snuggle into her and hug her arm.
“She likes you, you know.” Wanda looks at Angel who smirks. “She told me herself.”
“When?” Angel smiles and closes her book.
“Just before we got here.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s sleep deprived and had no inhibition.”
“Well, I like her too.” Angel scoffs at her.
“As if that wasn’t obvious? You literally ditched your own brother to hang out with her.”
“She’s the only person who helped us that day. Most people either ignored or rolled their eyes at us. Then there she was, she was reading a novel and I took a chance.”
“She helped you?”
“Yeah. She was just straight up adorable.”
“You’re falling fast and hard, Maximoff.” Wanda smiles.
“At least I’m falling for the right person.”
“She’s a good one.” Wanda chuckle and nods.
“At least you’re not bullying her. It seems she has had bad experience. Specially with Omegas.”
“Yeah. She was the target of Janine and her goons; they were straight up messing things up for her. Which is why she never goes into the cafeteria anymore.” Wanda grits her teeth and Angel can feel her protectiveness… Jesus, it feels like Wanda has already imprinted on you despite being an Omega.
“No one stopped them?” Wanda looks at you.
“Some Betas tried but ultimately gave up.” Angel runs a hand through her hair. “Most of the cliques and groups just ignored them. Wasn’t one of my finest moments.” Wanda nods and looks at her.
“How bad was it?” Angel sighs.
“Only she can tell… but this bad one was when they filled her locker with their heat-scented clothes. She ran so fast to the bathroom and puked.” Wanda flinches at that and clenches her fist, how could they? So that was why you were so adamant to avoid her at first.
“The teachers?” What the hell were they doing while you were suffering?
“Didn’t pay them much attention since Janine’s parents are big donators to the school.” Wanda scoffs. Typical corrupt assholes. Would rather keep the money than to protect their own students.
“Her parents?” What about them? Didn’t they help you? Since you were so fond of them.
“I don’t think she ever told them, if they did then R Firm will rain hellfire to the school and to all the people who did it.”
“She’s been through so much.” She holds your hand and rubs your knuckles. Angel looks at her and groans. Wanda turns to her.
“Yeah. Fine, I’ll tell you the worst one.”
“There’s a worst?”
“Yes. When they tried to frame her for stealing underwears.” Wanda’s eyes widen and she felt her heart drop.
“What?” Angel sighs and fidgets with her book.
“Yeah. When she opened her locker, it was just pure underwear. Overflowing and everyone can smell that it was from Omegas and Alphas alike. It was a good thing that there was a camera installed in the hallway and people wearing masks were seen putting it inside her locker. Nobody knew who did it but most people knew it was Janine’s idea and Rumlow most probably did it.”
“Why go that far?”
“The only thing her parents complained was her not getting into AP classes despite her middle school record. People liked testing her endurance or if she-“
“Was going to get her parents again.”
“Yeah. R Firm is feared by most people in the town but that fear was lessened when people knew that she was a Beta.”
“Why would she let them go that far?” Her voice breaks slightly as she and Angel turn to you. You make yourself more comfortable on Wanda’s shoulder.
“I think she blamed herself.”
“For what?”
“For being a Beta.” Angel sighs. “When I ran into her in a bathroom one time, she had scars on her wrists.”
“No.” Wanda gets teary eyed and Angel nods.
“I think she wanted to die. It was a month after the evaluation tests when I saw the scars.” Wanda’s tears flow freely and Angel gives her a handkerchief. She accepts it and wipes them away. “I think she knew how her second gender affected everyone in her family.”
“Angel. Tomorrow will you please point out Janine to me?”
“Why?”
“I’m going to-“
“Don’t try it, Wanda.” You stir and both turn to you.
“How mu-“
“Enough. I told you before, didn’t I?” You flick her forehead and she glares at you. “Stop being a stubborn idiot. We can’t erase what happened in the past. Getting revenge won’t do me any good.”
“But she-“
“Wanda.” You look her straight in the eyes. “I mean it. Don’t try it. If you do then you won’t ever see me again.” She looks nervous at your words. “Revenge never does anyone good.”
“Justice though?” You raise an eyebrow at Angel who is challenging you.
“Justice is fine. Revenge is not.”
“Why do you want to take the high road?”
“Because getting revenge means I’m the same as them.” Both Wanda and Angel scoff at you.
“What? Sexist assholes who think they’re better than everyone because of their second gender and parents’ business. Sounds like you.” You sigh.
“Just trust me.” You look at the clock and hum. “Come on, time for me to go.” They both pack up their things and you wait for them. The three of you get outside and you stretch your body. Wanda looks down and is frowning when you turn to her.
“Why let them go that far?”
“Angel was right. I blamed myself and some part of me believed their words. I went to therapy for months and got better though.”
“Do you still go?” You nod.
“When those thoughts come back. But it’s optional most of the time.” Wanda hugs you suddenly and you look at Angel who shrugs.
“Please don’t.” Wanda mumbles and you hum.
“Don’t what?”
“Think those thoughts again.” She looks up and you gulp as your heart beat faster against your chest. You’re suddenly nervous that she would hear your heart. “I don’t think I can live without you.” You sigh and try to calm yourself down as you blush.
“You’re exag-“
“I’m not!” Wanda pulls off and glares at you. “I like you! I don’t even care if you reject me or not! I-“ She runs a hand through her hair. “You’re so frustrating!”
“Are you- Why are your emotions changing so much?”
“Because of you! You make me angry and sad and happy all at the same time!” She cries and you hug her. You send her comforting waves and hope they are enough. She calms down in your arms and you sigh in relief.
“I like you too, Wanda.” She smiles and you smile softly. “I might be a pain in the ass sometimes but I hope you know that.”
“You are.” You push her away gently and scoff.
“You’re not supposed to agree with me.” She smirks and you gulp.
“But you are. You kept rejecting me at first, remember?” You look away as you blush.
“Fine. I am.” She grins and takes your hand.
“Go on a date with me.” You chuckle and intertwine your hands.
“Sure. When and where?”
“Oh. Uh.” You laugh and Angel snickers.
“Just meet me in the park near the church? Do you know it?”
“Yep.” You smile and kiss her hand.
“Saturday, 1 pm.” You wink and pull away. “Don’t forget.”
“Angel!” “Wanda!” The three of you turn to see Pietro and Natasha walking to you.
“And I should leave.” You smile at Wanda who blushes. You kiss her cheek then turn. You wave at them as you walk to go home.
-
You open the door and see Valerie with a sandwich in her mouth. She’s been visiting every Thursday and moping in the house since you picked her up weeks ago.
“Hey… sis?” She grins and gets the sandwich.
“Welcome home!” She ruffles your hair and you tilt your head.
“You’re weirdly cheered up.”
“Yep!” You raise an eyebrow as she goes to the kitchen.
“Where’s mom and ma?” You look around the house and there aren’t any signs of them. Your ma’s usually cooking this time and your mom is either watching TV or scrolling through her phone in the dining room.
“On a fancy dinner date.” Ah.
“Oh, what about food?” You scratch your neck. Do you have to bike and get some from the convenience store? It’s a pain but if there wasn’t any then you have no choice.
“There’s some in the ref. You can heat it up.” You hum and you notice that Valerie’s bag is on her shoulder.
“You leaving already?”
“Yep. I have to. I have an early class tomorrow.”
“Right. 8 am.”
“Yep! See you, sis!”
“Okay! Be careful!” You sigh and go to your room after your sister left. “The hell happened to her?” You mumble as you change your clothes. You yawn as you get down. You get the food from the fridge and heat it up. You turn on the tv and watch as you eat your dinner.
Your phone pings and you see Wanda’s name.
Wanda: Hi.
You chuckle at her text. Does she have telepathy? She seems to know when you want something to do.
You: Hey, what’s up?
Wanda: Just wanted to talk to you.
You: We just talked like an hour ago.
Wanda: Still. Let me have this.
You chuckle at how cute she was being.
You: Alright.
And before the both of you knew it, you talked until 1 am where Wanda just fell asleep.
A/N:
Hell week is still ongoing but here we are. No one can stop my love for Wanda. Not even my exams nor my grades.
Thanks for @mitchiesdungeon for the encouraging words.
You've given me enough motivation to actually finish this and review as well.
Thank you for reading!
#Wanda Maximoff x reader#Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader#Omegaverse#Omegaverse Fic#Marvel#Marvel Fanfic#Scarlet Witch x Reader#Wanda x you#Wanda x y/n
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I will gladly read any Wonwoo fluff you would give us be it snuggle donation or otherwise! But if I can be more specific in requesting, how about a missed connection sort of thing? Like the reader and Wonwoo have similar circles of friends who think they’d hit it off, but somehow they just never manage to be at the same events, but then they end up meeting separate from their friends and do hit it off, only to be a couple before their friends even know they’ve met? If that’s too specific, totally do whatever you want with the idea. Welcome to Wonwoo brain domination (my friend incepted my mind last year too and it’s been all Wonwoo all of the time since!)
omg this is actually such a good prompt?!?!?!!? What the hell?! Thank you anon!!!
So this one actually took way longer than expected because I knew what I wanted to do but I didn't know how to not make it confusing? So the best I could do was use time skips in this one, anything in italics are flashbacks.... I HOPE IT'S NOT CONFUSING! Anyhow, I had so much fun writing this! Enjoy! (PS. I didn't edit so excuse any grammar mistakes LOLz)
Warnings: None
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1,863
Meant To Be// Jeon WonwooXfem!Reader
"There he is again... I wonder if he's single." your older sister said as she struggled to keep your baby nephew from running away from the bench the two of you were sitting at.
"Probably not," you told her as you bit into your popsicle. "He's handsome. Probably has a bunch of girls lining up to get his number"
"He's playing video games at a park, I seriously doubt that" your sister added.
"I think it's kinda cute. At least he comes out because he wants to" you looked over at your sister who was now too busy chasing after your little nephew to even listen to you. "Aaaaand I was talking to myself. Cool."
You huffed and looked over at the man sat two benches over. He seemed to be having fun on his Nintendo switch and you were sure you weren't having fun babysitting your sister while she tried to babysit her own son... so you took matters into your own hands and walked yourself over to the man.
"Hey, mind if I sit here?" You asked.
The stranger looked up from his game and moved to the side making space for you to sit down. He didn't talk at all but didn't show himself to be rude either. You took the chance to take out your own console.
"What are you playing?" You asked.
He turned around and looked at your hands, his eyes widening a little but the look of surprise was replaced by a smile almost instantly. "Super Smash Bros."
You didn't know what you expected his voice to sound like, but it certainly hadn't been the deep tone you had just received. "Damn, nice voice" you blurted.
He let out a laugh, "what's your name?"
"I'm y/n" you introduced yourself putting your hand out to shake his, "and you?"
He took your hand cautiously, "I'm Wonwoo"
***
"How does this dress look?" You asked as you twirled in front of your now boyfriend of 3 months, Wonwoo.
He smiled approvingly, "baby you look just as amazing as you did in the last dress. You really don't have to worry too much about impressing my friends, they're all a bunch of idiots."
"Well, yes, but... what if they don't like me? I'm the reason you refused all those blind dates they kept setting you up on." You told him.
"And I'm the reason you refused yours, the time will come when I have to meet your friends, too. I promise you there's no reason for us to be worried." He pulled you close and kissed the top of your head.
"I'm just excited to finally meet your friends," you told him. "I want to make a good impression."
"The way you make me smile should be impressive enough, no?" He brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear.
"Getting a little cheesy there, aren't we?" You poked his stomach and pulled away. "Anyways. We should get going or we're going to be late!"
***
"You should come up. Some of my friends are still up there. We could hang out" said Wonwoo as he pushed his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. His tall frame rocking back and forth as he watched you wistfully.
"I really wish I could, but I actually have to go back to work in a bit. I just didn't want for your birthday gift to get to your hands after your special day" You shyly admitted. He held his hand to the necklace that was now hanging from his neck. The pendant hanging from it depicting the Smash ball from the game's logo. Something about him immediately putting the necklace on making your heart race.
"I really wish you could stay, but I guess, you'll just have to make it up to me some other day." He said.
You reached out your pinky and he wrapped his own with yours. "I promise" You told him.
He smiled and you waited expectantly for his nose to scrunch up like you'd learned it would in the last 4 months of knowing the guy. It was weird how after fighting off cheesy romance and dates, you ended up developing a crush on some random guy you'd met at the park.
The both of you stood there for a moment, pinkies linked together as you let the sparks envelope you both. It was obvious you liked each other, however, neither of you seemed to know who should make the first move... nor did you know when.
***
You and Wonwoo arrived at the large hotel his friends had told him to meet them at. A shiver ran down your spine making you take a nervous deep breath. Your boyfriend grinned at your cuteness and squeezed your hand softly before guiding you towards the entrance.
"Oh, God... Maybe I should've brought a gift?" You grumbled as you followed Wonwoo into the hotel. A sudden feeling of guilt taking over you as you remember your own friend, Jihoon, was having a graduation dinner that you couldn't go to because of this. You'd managed to drop off a gift for him days before, but it still bugged you. Jihoon was one of your closest friends after all.
"Honey, it's totally fine. I promise Jihoon won't mind that you didn't bring him a gift" he assured you as he held the door of the fancy restaurant open for you.
"Wait, what did you say?" You asked as you stopped in your tracks. Your boyfriend shooting you a confused look.
"Y-N?"
***
"I don't know, I think my favorite has to be biographies. I'm just nosy" you laughed, Wonwoo following along.
"Hmmm, I mean, biographies are nice, but I've been into humanities lately. It's interesting" He shrugged and licked at his ice cream cone happily. "I used to hate it in high school but I think as I grew up a grew more interested in the way people live... outside of just myself."
"Wow..." you mused.
"What? Was that sexy?" he joked.
You shook your head, "No, you're such a nerd" You teased.
"Hey!" he quipped bumping his shoulder into yours.
"Watch it! I almost dropped my ice cream cone!" Your attempt to seem angry failed by the big smile on your face. It seemed that was all you did around Wonwoo anyways. Smile.
"What flavor is that?" he asked as he eyed your cone curiously.
You put the cone up to his lips, "Butter pecan" You didn't know what exactly you were expecting when you put the cone up to his lips, 75% of you had thought he'd playfully push your hand away while calling it a grandma flavor as he usually did, while the resting 25% of you thought he'd just ignore it and keep walking... but both assumptions were wrong. Wonwoo grabbed your hand with his free one holding the cone in place before getting a taste. It was absolutely insane how much that made your heart race. "Hey! what was that all about?"
"I want to get a taste... but I can't... taste it... maybe I should-" He froze mid-sentence. Wonwoo was nervous. His face was a deep pink as he eyed you closely.
"W-Wonwoo. Are you trying to kiss me right now?" You asked. You wanted to scream and run away but you also wanted to stick around and see if he would.
"I was supposed to be at a blind date today" He admitted.
"Me too," you told him.
"But all I could think of was you" He continued.
"Me too," you agreed once again.
"Y/N, I like you."
***
"What the hell is going on here?" Jihoon's face was twisted in confusion as he stared between the two of you.
"You know each other?" Asked Wonwoo.
Jihoon blinked hurriedly before finding his voice again, "Uh, I think I should be the one asking you that!"
"My head is about to explode" You murmured.
"Yah, Jihoon, Dokyeom just spilled- Oh, Y/N? What are you doing here... with Wonwoo?" Yet another one of your best friends walked out of the restaurant, Jeongyeon's large eyes looking at you and your boyfriend with the same confused expression as Jihoon.
"They got here together," Jihoon announced.
"You two know each other?" Asked Jeongyeon.
"Yeah, Wonwoo's my boyfriend"
"Yeah... we're dating" Wonwoo agreed.
"WHAT?!"
***
"Y/N, pleaseeeeee? I promise you're going to love this guy. He is such a sweet person, he will literally blow you away, and he's handsome! Did I mention he's handsome?!" Jeongyeon's hands were clasped together in front of her chest. It was once a month that she begged for you to go on a blind date with that guy she always talked about, but you shook your head.
"No."
"Why not?! What is it this time!?" Your pretty friend exclaimed as she crossed her arms across her chest.'I have a boyfriend now' You thought, a small smile coming to your lips at the thought of Wonwoo.
"I'm not interested in dating Jjeong. Please, can't we just let it go?" you asked with a soft huff. "We have better things to do anyway. Come on, why don't you let me take a look at your thesis so far."
Jeongyeon huffed and started to pull out her laptop from her book bag. "I can't wait till you meet him. You're gonna regret it"
***
"Wait, pause... so you mean to tell me that we spent ALL THOSE MONTHS trying to set the two of you up... only for you two to meet at a random park and fall in love?!" Soonyoung was being his usual dramatic self again as he glared at you two from across the table.
"I mean, we didn't fall in love right off the bat... but yes. You could say that" Wonwoo answered.
"Wow! I just got chills. I JUST GOT CHILLS!" Dokyeom added as he dramatically hugged himself.
"I just don't understand why neither of you guys told us you were dating! Like... How did we miss it? Where did you hide each other?" Asked Jisoo with a confused frown.
"We didn't. We were friends for about 4 months before we started dating. I even went to drop off his gift at his apartment on his birthday."
"The necklace! I knew I'd seen it somewhere!" Seungcheol exclaimed with wide eyes. "You sent me a picture of the thing and asked if you should get it black or purple!"
"I also asked you for tips on how to confess to a girl over ice cream and got me laughed at." Wonwoo huffed under his breath.
You laughed and shook your head. "You were right, Woo. Your friends are indeed a bunch of idiots"
"Wow... You guys are meant to be. You guys are seriously meant to be. There is no doubt in my mind. I guess when soulmates are meant to meet, they will." chirped Jihoon who kept picking at his plate. "Now that that's all out, I'd like to take a moment to talk about how if Y/N hadn't been dating Wonwoo, she would have missed my graduation dinner for a man. What have you got to say for yourself, traitor?"
"Uh..."
#Jeon Wonwoo#Wonu#Jeon WOnu#seventeen wonwoo#SVT#seventeen x you#seventeen x reader#seventeen x y/n#wonwoo x you#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo imagines#wonwoo one shot#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo au#wonwoo scenarios#wonwoo fanfic#seventeen fluff#seventeen fanfic#seventeen kpop#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#Wonu fluff#wonu x reader#SVT wonwoo
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I have a question. I want to start reading 19days but i can’t understand the actual plot of the story bcoz flashbacks are confusing for me. I am okay with spoilers btw I just want to understand what’s going on 😅
Hey there! ❤ Ooh welcome to the club! I'll try to help clearing it up a little. See if this helps:
19 days follows the story of 4 teenagers: Jian Yi, Zhan Zheng Xi, He Tian and Mo Guan Shan. Amongst other things the story deals with friendship, first love, humor, fear and trust, usually in very lighthearted ways. The first two characters, Jian Yi and ZZX, are there from the beginning, while the other two join a little later (and, some would argue, steal the show).
Timeline wise, what we have is:
The very beginning of the story is Jian Yi coming back into Zhan Zheng Xi's life. We learn that they were childhood friends, but Jian disappeared in high school and this is the first time they're seeing each other in years.
We have a few chapters that further illustrate their dynamic, Jian Yi's love and desire for ZZX, ZZX's bitterness over the time they've spent apart. When Jian Yi left, it was because he had to be protected due to his Mafia ties, not because he wanted to. ZZX was never told why though, so he doesn't get it. And then we are sent to the days that preceded Jian Yi's disappearance.
Basically everything we actually read is a big flashback about those teen days before he left and about what kind of relationship they had built together.
Sometimes we get special chapters that show the characters as adults (a bonus that the author wrote for Christmas or Valentine's Day, for example). Most illustrations (non comic but full pieces of art) are also with them as adults. Literally everything else is the big teenage flashback.
There's always this looming threat on the horizon because we, the readers, know that Jian Yi will leave and we know the peace we're watching won't last. But the threat doesn't really impact their dynamic. Mood wise, the story is a a bit of a comedy, a bit of a romance, filled with teenagers being dumb and discovering love.
Breakdown of the plot below ✌🏻
Ok anon, you said you're lost and you don't mind spoilers, so here's an overview of the characters and what is up.
Jian Yi (white haired one) is the heir of a mafia family. He grew up without his dad and protected by his mom, so he doesn't know about his mafia ties. Cute, charming and only occasionally a dick (what? I'm being honest!), Jian Yi lives his early teenage years as any other kid, except mildly baffled by some of the weird mafia shit that happens around him.
But we're getting ahead of ourselves.
Jian Yi is head over heels love with Zhan Zheng Xi, his best friend since childhood. ZZX is a serious kind of guy, perhaps the more down to earth one of the group. ZZX cares a lot about his Jian Yi though. ZZX is not in love, or, more likely, he is not aware that he is in love, but his feelings for Jian Yi are the root of his characterization. He wants to be strong to be able to protect Jian Yi. He holds Jian Yi's hand. He treats Jian Yi with a softness that is very unic to their dynamic, and he allows himself to be pulled into Jian Yi's shenanigans. Their teen days are very sweet. Their future ones are.... less. It's clear that Jian Yi's disappearance broke ZZX in the future in ways that he hasn't processed yet, and being around Jian Yi again is too hard for him.
Resident bad boy, Mo Guan Shan is an angry redhead who is seen as a bully by his classmates. They're wrong. If anything, Mo is more of an outcast. Mo's very poor, his dad was framed and is in jail. We see in a dream that kids used to pick on Mo for it - and that Mo is sensitive to what others think. Mo adopted an I don't need anyone personality out of self-protection, because he doesn't believe there's anyone he could count on and he doesn't know how to ask for help.
Enters He Tian, a rich and spoiled kid who is head over fucking heels in love with Mo.
They clash. They clash really hard.
He Tian is filthy rich though, and he can sort of buy Mo's time by paying him to clean his apartment or to take He Tian's phone calls. That's the start, but their relationship grows so much further from there.
.
He Tian is another mafia heir, but he didn't grow up sheltered. He knows who he is, he knows what is expected of him, and he knows he is on a clock until their teen days together run out. That's made him reckless. He does all kinds of stupid things to try to make the most of his time with Mo until they're pulled apart.
He Tian watched his older brother grow into a cold man to survive this business. He Tian vows to never be like him. As a kid who grew up in a violent environment though, that's not always so easy. Mo and He Tian bring out the worst in each other - He Tian's spoiled and agressive ways and Mo's fear of depending on anyone. But they also learn from each other, and come out stronger on the other side. Besides, their chemistry is just hot. 🥵
19 days is about both what we read and what we create out of it. Old Xian has this particular ability of bringing up fantastic themes and then sort of fading the scene to black and leaving you to fill in the blanks. And oh boy do we fill in blanks. The fan created content is amongst some of the best you'll ever seen. If any of this sounds fun to you, join us! I promise you will not regret it ❤
Because Mo is so closed off, when he actually shows his emotions you go feral. Mo never lets anyone in, he thinks no good comes from vulnerability. He does let He Tian in though, little by little, and in those moments I eat my fucking hat, it's insane how intense the story makes you feel about their progress.
#sorry for the gigantic answer#hit me up if you still have any specific questions ❤#19 days#tianshan#ask box#anonymous
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moonlit
title: moonlit
characters: fem!reader x lee minho (lee know) of stray kids feat. bang chan, kim seungmin, hwang hyunjin, kid!yang jeongin
genres: exes to lovers au, romance, angst, based on eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, chan’s one sided love if you squint real hard, bff!seungjin.
warnings: cursing, mentions of drinking and food, mentions of insecurity/emptiness, minho is lowkey a flirt (and smooth af), this one is WORDY, sometimes nonlinear (flashbacks marked in italics, phase 2 completely happens in the past), lots of inner conflicts, watch me repeat the same words again and again.
word count: 14k
synopsis: after a nasty breakup, you have lee minho clinically erased from your mind... only to be reminded that while memories can be erased and forgotten, feelings will always demand to be felt.
Phase 1: Awakening
You clamp your shaking legs together, desperately trying to look like you’ve got it all together. The carton box on your lap feels heavier with each passing second as you wait for your name to be called. When the receptionist finally tells you to enter the consulting room, your head is full of him. His laugh, his voice, his touches, his smile, his empty promises, his lies, his last words…
This is why you’re doing this. You want him gone.
“Miss Y/N, please have a seat.” The doctor, Seo Changbin, motions at you to sit at the back of the room. A nurse places a tripod in front of you, setting the camera so it will capture your whole body. “Your sessions will be recorded, and we will keep all the recordings as archive. These recordings are confidential unless they’re needed for national security purposes. And, of course, if you wish to get your memories back in the future.”
Dr. Seo smiles, the calming tone in his voice doesn’t match the weight of his words. “You… you can restore the memories back?”
“I can’t,” he answers. “Patients are usually able to remember some past memories when triggered. And at least you will be reminded of why you want to do the erasure procedure in the first place. There are a lot of patients who regret doing this, and the last thing we want is to get sued because people make the wrong choices for themselves. I’m sure you have already read that part on the consent form.”
Great, you’re going to stop him from messing with your head by letting strangers literally damaging your brain.
“I won’t sue you. Let’s get this over with.”
“Sure.” Dr. Seo points at the camera. “Now, tell us everything, starting with who you want to erase.”
You grip your box tighter, as if to check if all the things inside still cause you pain no matter how many times you’ve seen them. You could have done this the normal way—crying, cutting your hair, even turning to God for help.
The thing is, one of these days the pain is going to swallow you up, and then you’ll be left with nothing. Nothing but an empty shell.
You should have been able to do this the normal way, but you’re too weak. Can’t you be weak for once? You can, right?
Clearing your throat, you stare at the lens. “Lee Minho.”
“Lee Minho,” you repeat. Louder. Clearer. “I’d like to erase Lee Minho.”
Chan finishes his beer in one gulp while you’re still struggling to open yours. It’s a shame, really—you drink almost every week, he drinks twice a year. He tosses the now empty can to the trashcan before opening another with ease, handing it to you. Mumbling a quiet thank you, you take a sip and watch him tear a pack of dried squids open.
“You’ll never go to those parties again,” he says. “I didn’t know my parents invited you because of that.”
You shake your head. “It’s fine. They meant well.”
He pulls his hair in frustration. “I can’t believe they said that in front of everyone! You must’ve been so shocked. I’m sorry.”
You grimace, the unwanted attention was indeed quite embarrassing. Enough to make you politely reject the next time Chan’s parents invite you to another gala. Mr. and Mrs. Bang have always been supportive of their eldest son, letting Chan started his own business instead of taking over the family business. Chan’s mother had called you a few days prior, asking you to accompany her son since it would be a good opportunity to “build connection and expand your business.”
You and Chan did exactly that, so it wasn’t like they were lying. But Chan’s parents also used the opportunity to try to convince the two of you that you’re match made in heaven.
“Can we drop this?” You glance at your watch, stretching your limbs before rising from your seat. The traffic light turns red and you signal at your best friend to walk faster. “I keep getting flashbacks of CEO Kang’s son laughing at us.
Chan follows suit, placing his hand at the small of your back before crossing the street. You let out a relieved sigh when you reach the warm subway station. “Kang Younghyun has more embarrassing incidents than ours combined,” he scoffs. “This is nothing compared high school. No worries.”
“You sure you don’t want me to take you home?” he asks as you train is arriving. “I should’ve brought the car instead of letting my parents drive us to the party.”
You click your tongue at him. “Then you’ll miss the last train.”
“I can take a cab home. You always fall sleep on the train it’s giving me headache!”
“Bang Chan.”
The train stops and opens its doors. “Fine,” he mumbles. “Just don’t fall asleep.”
“No promises!” you tease, stepping into the train a second before it closes. You wave at Chan until he disappears into a small dot before choosing the seat beside the door. The train is almost empty; standing near the door is a high school student listening to an online lecture and sitting across you is…. the most attractive man you’ve ever seen in your life. He meets your eyes for a second before shifting his attention back to his phone again, leaving you slightly disappointed.
You despise socializing at parties but you want the Hottest Man Alive to talk to you? Y/N you’re so pathetic.
The sight of a bundle of name cards inside your purse is what gives you a reality check, various names and faces are popping up in your mind. Only now you feel how exhausted you are, parties and talking to a bunch of strangers have never been your thing. You take your platform heels off just as the train makes its stop, one of them almost hitting Hottest Man Alive as a result.
Apparently God has decided to make you the embarrassment icon of the day.
“I’m so sorry!” you panic, about to reach your flying heel when he stands up and picks it up. He silently places it in front of you before pulling out a card out of his pocket.
“It’s okay, just check out our café when you have time.” Hottest Man Alive slips the card into your palm, rendering you speechless with his bashful smile.
Oh, you’re not going to fall asleep at all tonight.
You run your eyes over the black embossed letters once more, trying to calm your erratic heartbeat as you mentally convince yourself that he does want you to pay his café a visit. Your whole life has always been normal, so alarmingly calm and peaceful it makes you question your whole existence. Sometimes it feels like you’re living in someone else’s dream, foreign and temporary. Uncertain and insecure.
Last night was… weird, to say the least. You’ve never felt that attracted to someone before, not even your ex-boyfriends. In that moment, you felt unstoppable, carefree, happy… everything that wasn’t you.
Sadly, that moment didn’t last long and now you’re back to your overthinking self. What if he was just playing with you? Will he find you desperate or, God forbid, easy if you actually show up at his café? But what café owners don’t want a new customer? Besides, you’re bringing Chan, so Hottest Man Alive (or Lee Minho, according to his name card) is getting two new customers. If anything, he will be thanking you and hoping you will come again, just like any normal business owner.
“Hey,” Chan calls out to you, knocking on the car window. “We’re here, daydreamer.”
You shove the card back into your wallet, met with Chan’s confused eyes when you finally open the door. “You okay?” He cocks an eyebrow. “You look so out of it.”
Chan knows nothing about your encounter with Hottest Man Alive; he would’ve freaked out if he knew you wanted to visit a café because a random (handsome) stranger told you so. “Just thirsty. It’s so hot,” you mumble.
Eat Here Café gives off the homey atmosphere that immediately calms your nerves. You quickly scan the whole building, looking for any sign of Hottest Man Alive. You feel lighter yet bummed that he’s not there, except for some photos of him with a group of children pinned on the wall.
You choose a table near the cashier. “I’ll order. What do you want?”
Chan shrugs. “Any kind of cake.”
The puppy-like part timer greets you with a smile when you reach the counter. “Good afternoon, what would you like to order?”
“Injeolmi bingsu and Coke, please. Oh, and a vanilla cake!”
He repeats your order politely and you decide that you like the boy, taking a glance at his nametag that says Kim Seungmin. You never really pay attention to part timers before, but this one is remarkably efficient, polite, and very very cute (in a “I’d like to adopt him!” way).
You drop some cash into the tipping jar, the twinkle in Seungmin’s eyes feels so rewarding that you’re ready to put it into your “little things that made my day” on your journal later. He hands you the buzzer with a bright smile. “Please wait for your order!”
“Your stingy ass never gives such a generous tip. Did he flirt with you or something?” Chan marvels—loud enough to get Seungmin’s attention—when you return to your table. There are times when you regret being Chan’s business partner, but you realize that you’ve invested so much of your time and energy into building the company. That, and Chan is actually a dependable friend when he’s not trying to ruin your image.
Chan gets your order after the buzzer vibrates, digging into his cake right away. “Whoa this is good!” he exclaims. “How did you find this place?”
“…Instagram.”
“Do you think they hired a branding consultant already?”
You shake your head. “They post pretty regularly but I don’t think so.”
Chan’s eyes sparkle. “Do you think we should ask to meet the owner or something?”
“Hey Seungmin, iced Americano please! And remind me to pay your bonus later.”
The faintly familiar voice stops you from answering, your eyes wildly searching for the source. And there he is… the one you’ve been dreading to meet and also the one you’ve been yearning to meet. Lee Minho saunters into the café with his charming bunny smile and soft eyes, earning everyone’s attention except for Seungmin who’s still taking orders.
Seungmin only replies with a short hum, not taking his eyes off the cash register. You glance at Minho, mentally surprised by the way he doesn’t seem to be bothered with how Seungmin treats him.
“Quit staring before you start embarrassing yourself,” Chan warns you in the most boring tone. “I think he’s the owner.”
You almost spit out your drink. “I’m not staring!”
Minho exchanges some words with Seungmin before focusing his attention to all the customers. Your bingsu is melting, but you still follow his every move through your peripheral vision, not knowing whether you want him to recognize you.
“You really came!”
Chan points at himself, then at you. “Us?”
Minho shifts his gaze to Chan like he didn’t even notice the dimpled man was there whole time.
“Ah… y-yes,” you stutter. “This is very a nice café.”
One look at Chan and you know there’s no way for you to hide anymore. “He invited me!” you quip. “I mean, us.”
“Do you have anyone handling your social media accounts? Planning the digital marketing? Creating ads?” You have bombarded Minho with questions before Chan says anything, skipping the whole small talk step in “how to smoothly intrigue clients” manual.
Seungmin arrives with Minho’s iced Americano, putting the tall glass in front of him with no words before smiling at you and Chan. “Does any of you want anything else?”
“Yes, please,” Minho interrupts before you can refuse. “Please order whatever you want, it’s on the house.”
“Pulling the boss card, huh?” Chan jokes. “Then I’ll have orange juice.”
“Y/N?”
You didn’t have a chance to try the vanilla cake Chan ordered because he inhales food instead of digesting them, but the chocolate ice cream looks beyond tempting—
Minho chuckles. “How about our vanilla and chocolate ice cream?”
“Did I say that out loud?” you mumble to yourself, but proceed to thank Minho for his suggestions and tell Seungmin you’d like to have those. Minho flashes you a soft smile, almost making you melt on the spot if it weren’t for Chan’s leg kicking yours.
The conversation continues without any embarrassing incident. Chan lets you do all the talking, only adding further details when necessary while Minho asks you challenging but intriguing questions you answer passionately.
The so-called meeting ends with Minho promising to sign the contract by next week and Chan shaking your hand under the table, both confused and impressed.
“Is that why your employees are so relaxed around you? Because you just want everyone to eat and live well? I swear Seungmin didn’t even try to curse discreetly when you told him to wipe the counter for the 5th time,” you ask.
Minho laughs as the said boy exits his station, backpack slung across his shoulder. “Yes I’ll transfer your money after our guests leave. Don’t you dare remind me again!” the former yells playfully before the part timer opens his mouth. Seungmin bows to you and Chan before scowling at his boss. “You’re the one who told me to—nevermind. See you tomorrow, hyung.”
“I really like that boy,” you coo when Seungmin closes the door.
“I treat them as my friends,” Minho says. “I decided to do this because I just want to help everyone, including my employees. I don’t want Eat Here to be one of those expensive, pretentious cafes. I just want everyone to eat what they want, that’s why we have all sorts of things here. Combination of Eastern and Western, stuff like that. But this is still business, I have to do things to keep it running, right?”
You’ve met a lot of people with beautiful visions, but you’ve never met someone who wants something so simple yet complicated like Minho. It’s been quite a long time since you’re genuinely excited for a project, and now you know why Chan didn’t freak out upon knowing that you met Minho on the train.
“You guys can do whatever you want,” Minho adds, waving to a pair of part timers clocking in. “Are you going back to the office?”
Chan stretches his limbs. “Yeah,” he groans. “Gotta make sure our intern doesn’t jam the printer again.”
Your phone rings the moment Chan finishes his sentence. ”You jinxed it! Hyunjin is calling.”
“Whatever it is, wait until we’re back!” you whisper-yell at your intern.
“But noona, the printer—”
You give Hyunjin no chance to blabber about one specific printer and end the call. Minho giggles at your antiques, and you don’t have the energy to stop yourself from admiring his pretty features in the most obvious ways possible.
Chan pats your back before grabbing his phone and stands up. “I guess that’s our cue to leave.”
“Take these.” Minho writes your name on one of the paper bags, handing them to you with a big smile. “For everyone at your office. Thanks for reaching out to us.”
You peek inside the bag that has your name scribbled on it, not surprised to see both vanilla and chocolate ice cream inside—it’s the clear bottle that you’re curious about.
“Bye! I’ll send you the gym’s contact later!” Your best friend slash business partner waves at your new client slash crush from the driver’s seat. You take out the bottle, it’s filled with sikhye.
Your favorite drink, but Minho isn’t supposed to know that.
“Everyone deserves a fresh start. Don’t let anyone from your past haunt you. Start Erasure now.”
Minho mutes the television, heaving a sigh as he recounts his fateful meeting with you yesterday. The world has always been rather weird, he would say, but nothing defeats meeting his ex-girlfriend—his first love—who has no recollection of your time together. He heard from his former classmates that you sent them a message a few years ago, informing them that you would undergo the erasure procedure. According to his friends, you specifically told them to “never ever mention Lee Minho’s name or ask you about the procedure.”
You’re back in his life now, happy as ever, and the last thing Minho wants is breaking your heart all over again. He no longer owns that special spot in your heart, you owe him nothing. He left you insecure, disappointed and soulless, and now it’s his turn to be haunted by all the questions and what ifs in his mind.
His phone vibrates as soon as he flips the signage open, your name flashing on his screen. “Hey Y/N what’s up?”
“Minho I can’t multitask so please give me quick and accurate answer. I’m at the traffic light in front of Lotte now—”
“You need to turn left.”
“Okay… didn’t know my non-existent sense of direction is that obvious — damn, let me change lanes.”
Minho suppresses a chuckle. You’ve always been bad with directions.
“Turn left once more, and you’ll find us. We’re right across the first G25 store on the street.”
He steps out the café to welcome you when he spots a white Kia arriving. In contrast to his horrifying memories of teaching you to drive, you manage to parallel-park your car smoothly in 10 seconds, stopping Minho from offering to help you park your car.
“Sorry,” you grimace. “I suck at directions. Last week was the first time I went here and Chan was the one driving so I wasn’t really paying attention… and before you ask, no I can’t use GPS while driving. I barely managed to dial your number.”
Minho lifts his hands. “I was just going to say hello.”
“Oh, good! People always judge me for that!”
You don’t let him respond as you point at the photos on the wall. “Tell me about them!” you request. “Our photographer Hyunjin is going to be here any minute, and we’ll give this corner a special attention. Your customers need to know this.”
Minho scratches his head bashfully, the glint of admiration in your eyes is making him a bit dizzy. It’s been a long time since you looked at him like that. “Uhh, okay. These are the kids I’m supporting, they live in Africa,” he starts. “I hope I can visit them someday, but they’ve been sending me letters, saying thank you... telling me about their days and all.”
“Wow!” you marvel. “How does it feel? To receive such lovely letters?”
“Honestly, it kinda makes me feel like a parent,” he replies. “It feels wonderful.”
Moving onto the next set of photos, his smile grows wider. “I teach these kids dancing, sometimes taekwondo. They’re all very sweet, especially the maknae, Yang Jeongin.” Minho points at a boy with contagious smile. “He can be a brat sometimes, but everyone loves him.”
“Is this an orphanage? Can I meet them?” you blurt out.
“Of course! You’ll love them to bits.”
“You have to come back with Y/N noona!”
A few weeks later, Minho took you to the orphanage. You played with the kids all day and watched him teach them dance. You thought the kids wouldn’t like you as much, but now they’re trying to persuade you to stay the night.
“Aww, of course I’ll come back. Be a good boy, and we’ll be back sooner than you thought!”
Yang Jeongin, the youngest boy in the orphanage, has done everything to make you stay. If it weren’t for your “adult responsibilities,” you would have caved in because nothing could beat his puppy eyes and hopeful smile.
“Alright, go back inside, everyone. All of you need to sleep.”
The kids grumble at Minho’s command, slowly walking back to the main hall. After making sure no one sneaks out to follow you, the two of you make a stop at a nearby park that Minho claims to be the perfect place to admire the moon.
“Okay, you’re not lying. The moon does look pretty from here.”
The man sitting beside you smirks in satisfaction. “I never stay too long but I always like spending time here. Now that I think about it, you kinda resemble the moonlight.”
The switch of the mood has you cackling. “Aren’t everything about the moon associated with werewolves and murders? You’re expecting me to fall for such a lame pickup line?”
“That’s not how I see it.” Minho disagrees. “I think you’re radiant, bright but not blinding. Take it as a compliment.”
The word radiant strikes you light a lightning, forces you to face the harsh reality that you’re doing a really good job in hiding the hollowness inside—all the lingering questions and uneasiness. You’re far from being the light Minho admires.
“Trust me, I’m not radiant whatsoever.”
Minho stiffens, observing you carefully until you feel brave enough to look at him. At first, you see pity in his eyes, but it morphs into something that feels too good to be true. You find tranquil in his gaze, so serene that you nearly let your tears fall.
He reaches for your hand, interlocking your fingers together before pulling you up from your seat. “I’ll tell you whenever you’re being the moonlight that you are,” he promises, his voice is a perfect mix between sincerity and mischief. “Prepared to get sick of me because I’ll remind you everyday.”
Just because most people often cross the line doesn’t mean that being able to exert self-control when needed is something to be proud about, but Minho has always thought of it as his positive trait.
He’s going to cross it out of the list today.
His hand is still holding yours tightly, chatting away with a lopsided smile on his face. And yours. This wasn’t what he intended to do, but life loves to play God and tests him the moment he thinks he knows what he’s doing. Giving you his name card on the train has spiraled into taking you home hand-in-hand, peppering kisses on your temple when you become too cute to handle (which is almost all the damn time) and falling in love with you all over again. What happened in the subway impulsive and dumb, but he couldn’t control himself. He wanted to see you again, he longed to talk to you.
Minho just wanted a second chance to be good to you, but will things ever be enough? How will he make things right again? Providing you free coffee and say thank you for your visit? It was a selfish wish he shouldn’t have acted upon.
“We must’ve crossed paths somehow. There’s no way that we’ve never met before!” you say, swinging your intertwined hands happily.
It’s too late. History repeats itself, but Minho’s too far gone to stop. He’s trying to feel it, the need to exert self-control—he can’t.
“I didn’t come home often,” he lies, every word feels like knife stabbing his heart. You hum in response, a yawn escaping from your mouth as both of you are nearing your unit. Minho watches you enter the door password, mouthing the numbers silently, 2 3 0 9. Your grandma’s birthday. It’s always been your password for everything—phone, laptop, even Minho’s old apartment since you were the one who set it for him. It stays with him until this very day although he no longer lives in the same apartment.
You tug at his sleeve. “Come on in.”
Your stuffs are pretty much the same, if not exactly the same as a few years ago. The only things missing were those related to him. Polaroid photos of you together, the umbrella he left at your place, the mug he…. wait.
The purple mug Minho bought for you is sitting on the kitchen counter, causing him to nearly trip over his own feet. Did you forget to get rid of it before the procedure?
“Let me go change first,” you tell him. “Feel free to grab any snack. There’s cold water and beer in the fridge.”
He can barely answer as you disappear into your room. Memories start flooding his mind, it feels as if he finally finds all the folders with your name on them that he tried so hard to bury, stashed in the deepest part of his heart.
Those memories were so painfully beautiful he has to bite his lip to prevent his tears from falling.
“Oh that’s my favorite mug!”
You’re back, dressed in the black loose T-shirt you always wear during summers. Minho’s eyes automatically dart to your left shoulder, spotting the hole on the shirt that exposes a part of your shoulder.
Another thing that hasn’t changed. Another thing that makes you the you he knew. Another thing that diminishes his self-control into nothing because you have no idea how much he loved to—
“Minho?”
You cradle this face softly, wiping the tears he didn’t know he shed. Confusion and panic reflected in your irises. “Is everything okay?”
“Huh?” He touches his cheek before attempting to laugh. “Something probably went into my eyes...”
“Let me see.” Before he refuses, you’ve taken a step closer, gently blowing into his eyes. “Better? Want some eye drop?”
Minho shakes his head, removing your hands from his face and plants a kiss on your forehead. Another mistake that feels so right. “I guess I’m just tired. Is it okay if we chat some other time?”
You mumble an okay, following him to the front door. When he turns the door knob, you reach for his hand. “Hey,” you murmur, slowly examining his face. Minho tries to read yours in return, sensing your hesitation. He waits for a good minute patiently, letting you form words in your head.
“What are we? These things we’ve been doing… what do they mean to you? Does this mean we’re…”
You let out a frustrated sigh, more directed to yourself than him, and Minho understands what you’re talking about. He tightens his grip on the knob, desperately begging himself to stop all of this. You don’t deserve another heartbreak when you’ve done everything to continue living.
You’re a whole new person, yet you remain the one he adored. How can you be so different yet familiar? How can you be so… dearly you?
“Minho, does this mean that we’re—”
Minho throws his arms around you, burying his head into the crook your neck before slowly trailing his lips towards the exposed part of your shoulder. You have no idea how much he loves leaving kisses there, on that particular spot. As strange as it sounds, it gives him the strength and hope he needs. Minho never told you this; you’ll never be able to imagine how happy and relieved he currently feels when he plants one, two, three, countless kisses that set his whole being on fire.
“We are,” he whispers, dropping one last kiss before pulling you even closer, enveloping your body in his embrace.
There’s only one thing in Minho’s head now: love. He can only think about loving you better than before, and in this moment nothing can stop him from doing so because whether he likes the old you or the new you doesn’t matter anymore.
Minho just loves you, and he doesn’t want to think about anything else. Not even his selfishness. And especially not your future heartbreak.
“You’re so precious, Y/N. You’re so precious to me.”
Hyunjin is the only one at the office when you arrive. He’s busy with his camera, changing its setting every now and then before capturing random things on his desk. You and Chan were on the fence about hiring him at first since you’re just a small company and he’s a student with high expectations. However, Hyunjin turns out to be the one of the most eager apprentices ever, and you’re going to bawl your eyes out when his internship ends next month.
“What are you doing?” you ask him, only earning a distracted “Huh?” as an answer.
“Hyunjin, don’t forget to go over the photoshoot details with me before we leave later, okay?”
He lifts his head a little this time. “Okay. Let me just finish trying out this new technique Seungmin taught me.”
You chuckle, snapping a photo of your intern yelling at his camera when he messes up. Sending it to Chan, you write, “We should give him a raise.”
Your phone rings a few seconds later, frowning when Chan’s urgent voice greets you. “I’m inside my car. Can we talk?”
“Whoa, relax. What happened?”
“Y/N, please. Just come out for a sec.”
No one wants to start a fight with Chan when he’s talking in that tone, so you inform Hyunjin you’re stepping out for a bit. Chan’s sedan is parked right in front of the building, his conflicted face prompts you to enter the car right away.
“You told me there’s something weird about Minho but now you’re dating him? And you’re hiding it from me?” he deadpans without waiting for you to close the door.
“I didn’t mean to hide it from you,” you murmur. “I just don’t know how to explain it.”
Chan sighs in exasperation. “Why do you think you owe me an explanation? I’m your best friend, not your mother. How is Minho different from any other guy you’ve dated that you really tried to keep it a secret from me?”
You gulp. “Things between Minho and I… it’s different. I thought I knew what liking someone felt like, but after meeting him I realized I knew nothing about it. Everything feels so overwhelmingly wonderful and insanely intense I think I may fall apart if I start talking about it.”
Your best friend gives you a knowing look, but says nothing as he stares at a random stranger walking down the street. “And I know you’re not really fond of him so I was trying to look for the perfect timing to tell you. Sorry.”
“I just want to keep you safe. This guy knows small details about you that even I didn’t know. Are you sure you never met him before?”
He pauses, taking a deep breath before adding, “Did you do that erasure procedure?”
“How am I supposed to know?” you snap. “Isn’t forgetting about the whole thing the point of the procedure?”
“You love him, don’t you?” Chan’s voice is soft this time, but his words hit you right in the gut you have to stop yourself from flinching. Hearing someone say that they love you is scary, admitting that you are in love is a hundred times scarier.
Taking your silence as a yes, Chan turns on the engine. “Look, the last thing I want is seeing you sad. It breaks me, more than you know. So please consider trying to find out the truth. How are you going to love him if you don’t trust him? How is he going to love you if he keeps you in the dark?”
You lean your head against the window, watching your best friend dialing Hyunjin’s number to tell him that both of you will be back after lunch.
“We better be quick,” Chan says. “Hyunjin’s terrified he will have to answer Mr. Song’s call again.”
“We should definitely give him a raise.”
“Oh we will,” he snickers. “If he survives Mr. Song’s call.”
“You’re cruel.”
For the first time in your life, you feel like a ruling queen inside your island instead of a trapped princess. You know every nook, every secret passage, every hidden treasure that nobody else has ever explored. Everything feels real for once, you’re in control and you want to stay here forever.
Eat Here has gained more regular customers since you and Chan started handling its social media accounts, and the face-splitting grin on Minho’s face whenever a new customer pushes the door open makes you feel proud and giddy at the same time.
You weren’t able to witness your Hottest Man Alive greeting his customers happily today, but you promised to pay him a visit at the café. It’s a few minutes past 10, meaning the café has closed for the day, so you were prepared to see everyone cleaning up. To you surprise, there’s nobody inside when you arrive.
“Minho?”
Your boyfriend waves from inside the pantry. “Coming!”
Moments later, he comes out with a tray of food. Gesturing at you to take a seat, he places a bowl of potato salad, a pot of kimchi jjigae and some side dishes. “Wait, let me get some more.”
You recall your phone conversation 2 hours ago, vaguely remembering telling Minho that you haven’t had dinner. When he serves the last batch of side dishes and a bottle of sikhye, you tease him for being so sweet.
“I’m not being sweet though?” He pulls out a chair for himself, watching you eat with content eyes. “You said you were starving, so I prepared you some food.”
You shrug, letting him pour sikhye into your glass. “I just never expected that you’re someone who…”
“… cooks?” he finishes for you. “I just did the bare minimum. Do you really want to see me being sweet?”
“Is that a challenge?”
Minho clears his throat, the way he stares at you makes you fidget in your seat. Only God knows what’s inside this man’s mind. One second he’s nonchalant and cool, then he’s Mr. Flirty and makes you all swoony.
Patting his thigh, he smiles at you. “Come here baby.”
You shake your head in fear of completely losing your sanity. “No. What are you trying to do?”
“Being the most romantic boyfriend ever. Come on.”
Minho tries his best to suppress his laugh as you finally settle yourself on his lap, not sure whether you should rest your head on his shoulder or peck his lips or marvel at how firm his thighs are... damn it Y/N, what are you? 17?
Although you’re just sitting there like a log, Minho looks unbothered and reaches for the chocolate cake. He slices it into smaller bites, taking a piece of it with the fork before telling you to open your mouth. “If you still want ice cream then we can get some on the way home.”
“I’ve had enough ice cream for today. I went to this cute ice cream parlor with Chan.”
You take the plate from him, stuffing yourself with the rest of the cake. Minho’s soft pats on your shoulder and the sweet taste of chocolate seem to flush all the initial awkwardness from your system.
Another hour passes with you curling up on Minho’s lap, the latter listening to your little speech about how grateful you are for vending machines as if you’re talking about world peace. Your back hurts and his thighs ache but the way your head nestles in the crook of his neck and the way he pecks your cheek every few minutes are enough of a spell to trap both of you in this exact moment, where lies, doubts and regrets cease to exist.
You wake up with a jolt, reaching for your water bottle on the bedside table. It’s surreal for a dream to feel that real—it almost felt like a memory, something distant but present nonetheless. You’re sure that was the younger Minho you saw in the dream instead of the one you know, and before you come to a realization that it’s currently 2AM, you’re already dialing his number.
He picks up on the fifth ring. “Hmmm my moonlight, missed me?”
His sleepy voice causes you to blush, definitely not seeing that coming. “Nothing.” You wince at your parched voice. “I just had a dream.”
Minho lets out a low laugh, you can hear him sitting up on his bed. “About me?”
“Well… yeah.”
“Tell me about it.”
You sink into your bed, heaving a sigh you forget to hide. “It’s complicated.”
“Was it a bad dream?” Minho’s voice is firm but oh so calming that you start recounting every detail you can remember. He listens to you attentively, humming once in a while, and your muscles are all relaxed now. Minho is here, listening to your bullshit in the wee hours of the morning. Minho is here, calling you his moonlight with the most caring tone ever.
“I miss you,” he declares the moment you finish talking. “Can I come over?”
“All of sudden? Minho, it’s 2AM.” You glance at the clock. “Wait, it’s 2:18 now.”
“Then I’ll be there at 3AM.”
“But—”
He hangs up, and you just sit there until Minho enters your room at 3AM sharp, taking in your dumfounded state before plopping himself onto the bed and pulling you close. “I’m here,” he sweetly says and you can only nod, eyes boring into his as he runs his thumbs along your cheekbones. “I like you, exactly the way you like me. I like you more.”
You shake your head, burying your head in the crook of his neck to hide your red cheeks. “It was just a dream,” he adds, enunciating each word like a mantra. Closing your eyes, you repeat his words again and again inside your head, traces of pain from the dream still crawling up your skin as Minho’s sweet praises lull you to sleep.
“I’m sorry but that’s classified information. We cannot mention anything about our patients.”
“But she did the procedure because of me! I’m the one she erased!”
“That only gives us more reasons to forbid you from obtaining any information. It’s our policy to protect our patients, especially after the procedure is done.”
Minho wonders how this sullen kid managed to land the job, but bites his tongue before he really gets kicked out. He takes one deep breath before pleading at so-called receptionist (his name is Kim Seungmin but he could care less) once again. “May I at least know whether she was in so much pain?”
Seungmin fixes his glasses. “People her age mostly spend their money on traveling or whatever cool things they want to do, but she chose to have her memories manipulated so she wouldn’t have to remember you. I think that’s enough of an explanation.”
It’s no big deal, Minho tells himself. It’s normal for people to have the Erasure procedure thesedays. In fact, it’s become so normal that no one bothers to talk about it anymore. Erasure is simply another way to move on, just like Love Alarm is another way to detect love. If you decided that your memories together weren’t precious enough to keep in your heart, so be it. If he hurt you that much but you chose to erase him instead of confronting him, then it’s your loss.
Exactly. Was he that bad? Did he hurt you that much?
“Excuse me, Sir?” Seungmin is already standing by the door. “I think it’s better for you to leave.”
“Alright.” Minho lifts his hands in defeat, starting to feel bad for the poor boy who’s just trying to keep his job. “Hang in there, kid.”
“Congratulations, you just earned a VIP pass to Hell.”
Eat Here is doing well, the kids he’s supporting are starting school soon and he finally gets to return the feelings of the girl he loves the most but yes, Seungmin is right. The gates of Hell are open for Minho.
“Right,” he scoffs. “As if you didn’t greet people with a smile and convinced them that erasure was the best solution for all their problems.”
Seungmin grits his teeth; talks about Dr. Seo Changbin’s Erasure Centre are never easy for both of them. For Seungmin, it reminds him of all the pain, rage and guilt he thought he was used to seeing. For Minho, it reminds him of his selfishness and failure to make you happy.
“The erasure did help a lot of people though,” the puppy-eyed boy trails off. “It’s been years yet I’m still torn between wanting the procedure to perish and thanking it for saving lives.”
“Maybe it does save people. But then there’s Y/N.”
“And you,” Seungmin adds.
Minho chuckles. “And you.”
“Are you just gonna wait until she realizes that those dreams actually happened?”
A long silence looms over them until Seungmin slides a clear CD case along the counter. “I guess it’s time to reveal how I risked my life for you the day I quit my job there.”
A label with your name is plastered on it along with the logo of the centre. It’s the answer to all his questions when he first met Seungmin. The sole proof that everything between the two of you happened.
“I can get sued anytime,” the part-timer warns jokingly. “So use it well, and don’t cry. She said some hurtful things, but you deserved it anyways.”
“Do you think it could last another hour?”
Hyunjin snaps one last photo and tells the models to get a 5-minute break. “Do you want an honest answer or an intern-can-make-anything-happen answer?” he whispers at you while checking his shots.
You’re currently at a photoshoot in Gyeongju with a client you desperately need to impress, but your clumsiness just had to choose today to get in action. Chan was almost furious when you told him you left all the cameras’ charging cables at Minho’s apartment.
“So we’re fucked up,” you conclude. “How many outfits are left?”
“Including this one… three.”
“We’re so fucked up,” you correct yourself, approaching Chan to relay the expected bad news when a familiar car arrives at the villa. You barely hear Hyunjin muttering, “God is a male… for today…” before rushing to take the black duffel bag from Minho’s hand. He only smiles when you tell him he’s getting all the hugs and kisses later.
The photoshoot continues smoothly; allowing you, Chan and Hyunjin actually breathe after 5 hours trying to make the cameras’ batteries last as long as possible.
“I’m so sorry Chan,” you sigh.
He lets out a weak chuckle. “It’s fine. The problem’s solved anyways.”
“No thanks to me.”
“Thanks to you.” Chan glances at your boyfriend who’s leaning on his car, watching you from afar. “Minho brought the chargers, but you were the one who made him drive all the way here. You need to stop underestimating his feelings for you.”
You let Chan’s words sink in, eyes meeting Minho’s in the process. For a split second you forget about everything’s that’s been bugging you, wanting nothing but to lose yourself in his affection for you.
“Do you trust Minho now?”
Chan puts his hand inside his pocket, exhaling softly. “I know he’s crazy for you Y/N, I’m not dense. But does that mean he’s being honest with you?”
Hyunjin snaps one last photo that marks the end of the shoot, giving you a reason not to respond to Chan, jogging towards the models instead. “Thank you, everyone!” You bow to them. “There are some snacks left inside so please eat before you go, or you may take them home.”
You can still feel Minho’s eyes on you, following you wherever you run with the sweetest kind of fondness that makes it hard for you to question him. He’s like a prince who comes from another kingdom after crossing the long bridge and fighting in the wild forest. He stands there in front of your castle, waiting for you to deem him worthy of your love, of you.
How do you say no to that?
But how do you know if he sees you the way you feel he does?
After that night, you’ve had other dreams—the ones you never told him—each dream etched itself into your mind, filling in the empty spaces slowly but surely. They become a part of you so naturally that you’re convinced you somehow lived them.
“What are you thinking about?”
Minho has just finished loading the last box of props into Chan’s car trunk, now waiting for you to break your train of thoughts with an amused smile. You barely hear Chan and Hyunjin saying goodbye before they enter the car, leaving the two of you alone.
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
Minho’s smile is long gone, his expression mirroring yours: confused, lost, a bit scared. “Are you okay?”
Even your 18 year-old self knew what to do then. A bit late, but she did it. The thought of embracing her as a part of you is making you nauseous, the acknowledgement of having a past you don’t remember is disturbingly scary.
“Those dreams... they were real, right? Those are my memories.”
Your stomach churns when Minho nods, surprisingly calmer than you expected. He pulls out a CD out of his bag, carefully slipping it into your hand. The thin plastic feels heavy in your hold, the world as you know it crumbling at the realization that this Lee Minho was the same boy who had your heart in his palm and broke it.
“I tried to picture this situation in my head every single day, but never had the courage to actually tell you. I’m so sorry Y/N. For everything, then and now.”
Lee Minho, the one who sees you as his moonlight, was also the one whose heart could never be yours.
“I’m Lee Minho. We’re both from Gimpo, and we met at high school. We were best friends, then sometime during 11th grade we started dating. You were this amazing, lovely girl who wore your heart on your sleeves, and I was the asshole who failed to realize how blessed I was to have you.”
Minho pauses to look into your eyes, the sorrow in his orbs triggers the tears you refuse to shed. “I became your boyfriend because I didn’t want to lose you,” he continues. “I was stupid, wasn’t I? Stupid and inconsiderate. All I had to do was tell you how I felt…”
"B-but why?” you sob. “Y-you l-lied to me, Minho. Again.”
“I did. Fuck. I did,” he admits. “You have every right to never ever forgive me. But Y/N, I never meant to play with your feelings. I was too late, but I loved you then. I love you now, and I don’t think I’ll be able to love anyone else even if I try.”
Phase 2: Forgotten Days
“A mug?”
Minho hums as an answer while copying your English homework in a speed of light, failing to answer your questions about why, out of all things he could buy in Japan, he decided to gift you a mug. You let out a huff when he leaves your next question hang in the air (“How did you know that I needed a new mug?”), but lets him be since the bell will ring in 15 minutes.
The purple mug is quite heavy and somehow that makes your heart flutter. Minho gave all the other classmates green tea Kit Kats and keychains, but he was willing to fit the bulky mug into his tiny suitcase for you.
You don’t know what’s going on inside his head most of the time, for all you know he could’ve bought the mug because he forgot to buy something for you and decided to grab the first thing in sight. It’s just a little gift, something you should just appreciate without thinking too much about it, but you can’t help but wonder. Sometimes you feel sorry for yourself for overanalyzing Minho’s every little gesture, trying to guess how much he likes you.
“I’m done!” Minho exclaims, returning your book before grabbing his wallet. He finally looks into your eyes, smiling at you as he ruffles your hair. “Gotta grab some snacks. You want anything? Strawberry milk? Chips?”
When he comes back with both although you told him you only wanted chips, Minho argues that he knows you’ll get hungry in the middle of lessons. Again, it shouldn’t feel so special, but he’s looking at you now, you and no one else. Lee Minho is like an enigma, but at times like this, you bask in his bright smile and everything is forgotten.
Summer is the enemy you’ve managed to beat every single year, but combine the scorching heat with excruciating cramps and you don’t stand a chance. You peek into the practice room once again, but Minho is still practicing his dance routines, his phone laid neglected at the corner of the room. The supposed-to-be 30 minutes practice turns into an hour, and you decide to just wait outside since you don’t have energy to go home on your own.
The door opens when you’re on the verge of passing out, luckily someone has caught you before you collapse on the floor. “Y/N,” Minho’s voice forces you to open your eyes. “What happened?”
“… cramps…”
He lifts you and dashes to the infirmary without saying anything else, yelling at some other students to “fucking move!” while trying not to trip over his undone shoelaces. You try to tell him that you’re alright, just a little tired from enduring the pain but he gives you no chance to talk.
Minho finally stays still after kicking the infirmary’s door to no avail. He makes no other attempt to open the door, slowly making eye contact with your drowsy eyes. You love seeing fire in Minho’s eyes, especially when he dances or plays with his friends. This is the first time Minho sees you with such intensity, but this is not the passionate flame you’ve been craving to see. This fire is destructive, painful. It breaks your heart that he’s looking at you like this, like you’re the source of all unfortunate events that happens in his life.
You feel like you’re the unfortunate event in his life, and the thought is enough to make you break free from his bruising grip, pushing the door open yourself.
“Go back to practice,” you tell him, sitting on one of the beds. “I’ll lie down for a bit then go home.”
Minho rummages through the medicine cupboard, taking a painkiller pill and fills an empty glass with warm water. “Drink this, I’ll take you home.”
“I’m fine, Minho…”
He shakes his head. “You’re sick and I’m taking you home.”
Too weak to argue, you swallow the pill and let him walk you home. Minho keeps his hand around your shoulder the whole time, not even bothering to check his ringing phone. He doesn’t talk to you either, and at this rate the silence is more concerning than your cramps.
“Can you go up on your own?” he murmurs when you reach your apartment building. “I have to go back to school, but I’ll stop by later.”
You only nod, about to wave him goodbye when he reaches for your arm. “Wait.”
Minho cups your face, pressing his lips on yours and stealing your breath away. Soon, he starts kissing you harder, but his lips still feel cold against yours and he still feels so faraway even when he’s gripping your waist like his life depends on it.
“Minho,” you manage to rasp, cradling his face to stop him from planting another kiss on your lips. He opens his eyes, staring at you with those beautiful eyes that, sadly, never really shine for you. “Your friends are waiting.”
Still panting, Minho gives you a nod before pulling away. The fire you saw in his eyes earlier has died out.
As you watch him walk away, you finally realize that you’ve been asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not about how much Minho likes you, it’s about whether he likes you at all.
If Minho could choose only one person to be with for the rest of his life, he would choose you. He enjoyed watching movies with you, he loved sending his silly selfies to you, he always wanted to end a tiring day by talking to you all night long.
He can still do that, you’re still his friend. The only difference is that he can hug and kiss you and tell other people that he’s yours. Minho doesn’t know why he lets the words “boyfriend and girlfriend” change the dynamics between the two of you, but it’s too late to undo everything.
“Can we just be friends again?” he repeats the question in his head over and over, yet he can never voice it out. The look in your eyes will be too devastating for him to bear, and he will you lose you forever.
“I’m outside,” he tells you over the phone, trying not to flinch at your excited “Oh!”
A few minutes later, you step out of the elevator, walking towards him with big steps.
“Feeling better?” he asks, noting the way your eyes light up at the question.
“Hmm. I took a short nap and it’s gone.”
Minho sighs. “Don’t wait for me next time. If I take too long, you can just go home. I’m sorry that I let you wait around like that.”
The last sentence causes you to lower your gaze, seemingly self-conscious with the fact that he forgot you were waiting for him. “Bought you some ice cream,” Minho says, trying to distract you from your thoughts. “Chocolate, vanilla, mint choco, it’s all there.”
“As an apology?” you half-tease, the tinge of sadness in your voice causes Minho’s heart to clench a little.
He quickly pulls you into his arms, resting his chin on the top of your head. “Yes and no,” he murmurs into your hair. Part of him is relieved when you don’t question his answer, only humming against his chest before wrapping your arms around him. It’s so easy to make you happy and it angers him. You’re too kind. Too patient. Too loyal. You’re too in love with him, and it hurts not being able to feel the same.
But as the warmth of your body starts to comfort his senses, Minho realizes this is where he wants to be. He wants to be with you, no matter what the labels are. “If you miss the last bus you’re gonna have to walk all the way home,” you remind him, voice muffled since neither of you wants to let go.
“One more minute,” he replies, fingers playing with the hole on your shirt. He places one feathery kiss there, a silent promise that he’s going to try his best loving you. The one promise that could have made you stay, but it remained unsaid until the day you left him.
“Surprise!”
Minho lets out a yelp, coughing up confetti that you pop right in front of face. His parents, standing a few steps behind you, are giggling at their son’s reaction. “I thought you had to go somewhere with your mom!” he exclaims, the surprise in his eyes is now replaced by confusion and… annoyance?
You quietly step aside, letting him shake off the confetti as you’re trying to find your voice. Minho’s parents don’t seem to notice the tension, laughing and explaining that they invited you over for the family birthday dinner.
His mother ushers both of you to the dining room where the feast awaits. “After all this time you still haven’t introduced Y/N to Soonie!” she protests jokingly while the said cat is purring at you. Coming over to Minho’s house without his knowledge sounded like a terrible idea right from the start, but now you really wish you had turned the offer down. The birthday boy only pats you on the back before telling you to sit down, and you spend the rest of the dinner conversing without ever looking at each other in the eyes. That’s no surprise, what surprises you is the fact that you don’t even bother trying to get him look at you.
After 2 years, you’re finally tired of waiting for Minho to love you.
“Soonie doesn’t usually like strangers,” Minho says as you’re walking to the bus stop. “But he really likes you.”
“Do you?”
“What?”
“Like me. Do you like me?”
Minho chuckles. “What kind of question is that?”
Words are bubbling inside your head, all emotions threatening to spill out you have to literally swallow them down. It feels like the world has come to a stop—the realization that your world has been revolving around Minho all this time makes you feel queasy.
“Y/N?”
You want to explode. You wish you can explode. There’s nothing you want more than taking out every piece of your broken heart, count all of them and show him how much you’ve been hurting. You thought your love was enough for both of you, but the bigger your love grew, the farther the distance between the two of you became.
Minho keeps his gaze on you as you’re mustering up courage to ask the most heartbreaking question. “Why?” you quiver. “Why do you pretend that you like me? Why do you bother doing that for 2 years?”
“I-I like you. So much,” he stutters. “Just not in the same way you like me…”
Blinking your tears away, you return his tormented gaze. “Then why did you let me like you alone? Every fucking day you let me wonder how much you like me, if I mean anything to you… I wait for you, convincing myself that you must’ve liked me if you chose to be my boyfriend. But it’s just a game to you, isn’t it?”
Lee Minho has always had his own way to love. You’ve seen him showering those around him with love in ways that seem so ordinary that people often take it for granted. But you see and feel everything, including hints that your feelings have always been one sided. You bury all those hints, telling yourself that he only needs time.
That time never comes, and you have run out of lies and excuses and hope to cover up for both of you.
Phase 3: Chasing Moonlight
The Queen lived under a spell all this time, believing that the foreign kingdom was her whole world while she didn’t even have a home to begin with.
But the ruins of her castle—the only thing that’s left of the kingdom she tried to understand her whole life—will become one. She’s going to build herself a new kingdom, one that she knows by heart, and call it home.
“Noona!!! I’m going home!!! Don’t stay there too long!!! You’ll get sick!!!”
You tear your gaze from the cloudy sky as Hyunjin shouts at you from the ground. You dismiss him with a little wave, forcing a small smile so that the boy will leave instead of going back to the rooftop.
“He’s right,” Chan adds. “You’ve been here for hours.”
After showing up at work with puffy eyes and hoarse voice, Chan attempted to send you home, but you insisted to complete some of your tasks before breaking down during lunch after Hyunjin accidentally revealed that he would meet Seungmin at Eat Here.
So here you are, finally sated after crying all the tears you had left at the rooftop during the remaining working hours.
“I’m fine,” you croak, cringing at your own voice. “You can leave.”
“And let you stay here until you’re all stiff and frozen?”
“Just let me be pathetic for one more day.”
He furrows his brows. “You’re not being pathetic. After what he’s done to you, weeping is the least you should do.”
You let out your first laugh of the day. “I surely wept.”
Looking incredibly relieved that you haven’t lost the ability to feel other emotions than sadness, Chan continues, “Wanna talk about it?”
“Do you know what hurts the most?”
He takes the longest time to think, but shakes his head at the end.
“The fact that I’ll probably never see him again.”
“That’s supposed to be a good thing, but go on.”
“Should I give him one last chance? Or should I just hate him until I die? What’s the right thing to do? What should I do to heal? What should he do to heal? All these questions are driving me insane.”
Those questions are the easiest to answer, so you expect Chan to sigh and tell you to snap out of it, but he just smiles at you. “What do you want to do?”
“Huh?”
“Have you tried answering your own questions? What you want to do is what you’re supposed to do. It’s easy, my dear friend.”
“I want to…”
Your mind wanders to last night, recalling that agony on Minho’s face that mirrors your own. A small part of you wants him to suffer for the rest of his life, consumed by guilt and the sheer horror of being erased from someone else’s memories.
“I want to curse him out.”
Chan playfully smacks your head. “You didn’t do that?”
“My mind went blank, then I started crying. That wasn’t cool at all, I know,” you huff. “I should’ve told him to go to hell or something.”
“After that? What do you want to do?”
You bury your face into your palms, ignoring the teasing tone in Chan’s questions. “The last time we talked, you were Lee Minho’s #1 hater. What happened?”
“I just wanted him to be honest with you. I never hated him,” he tells you softly. “Do you?”
You may never get all of your memories back, but the ones you can remember are enough to know that being with Minho used to be a silent torture. He was a thorny rose, beautiful yet unattainable. You wanted him so much you refused to look down and see your bloody fingers. The thorns were stuck there for the longest time, eventually infecting your soul until you were too weak to heal yourself.
But he’s not that boy anymore. He’s just Minho who listens to all of your rambles and actually keeps all those details in his mind. He gives you the warmest hugs and the most sincere kisses. He stays by your side, and you will always want him to stay.
When you finally lift your head to answer Chan, he gives you his reassuring smile that never fails to make you feel better. It’s the first time he’s talking about Minho without a frown, and you hope it’s a good sign. “Like I said,” he sing-songs. “Do what you want to do.”
The sound of footsteps approaching prompts you to curl yourself into a ball, trying to make yourself as invisible as possible under the dining the table. Jeongin manages to push the heavy door open after a few tries, mumbling that you’re not going to take the “king of hide and seek” title from him. You can’t help but giggle at his determination, waiting for him to find you while he’s scanning the whole room.
“Minho hyung!”
You stay still, not wanting to fall into the 5 year-old’s tricks so easily… until you hear Minho’s voice calling the little boy’s name. “What are you guys playing? Where’s Y/N?”
“We’re playing hide and seek,” Jeongin answers, his eyes still as sharp as a hawk. “I’ve found everyone, only Y/N noona is left!”
Minho hums. “Want me to help you find her?”
You don’t hear Jeongin responding, but the next thing you see is a pair of pretty eyes staring into yours. “Found her,” Minho murmurs.
Jeongin pulls you out with a huge grin on his face. “I knew you were there! Thanks for helping me, hyung.”
Minho ruffles the boy’s head before gazing back at you. “If you’re thankful, can I borrow her for a second? We just need to talk, then she’s all yours.”
You can’t find the strength to say no, hoping Jeongin will somehow be clingy this time. “Are you guys fighting?” he asks instead.
“Do you think we’re fighting?”
Jeongin nods, his sparkly eyes turn gloomy. “If I let you talk, will you make up?”
Minho glances at you. “I don’t know… I made a huge mistake.”
“Did you make her cry?”
“Yeah,” Minho confirms, voice thick with remorse and you’re not sure how long you can pretend to be okay in front of Jeongin.“I’m a bad person, aren’t I?”
You crouch down, pinching the boy’s pout with an endearing smile. “I promise nothing bad will happen. Can we go outside now? I’m sure everyone is waiting for you.”
Still a bit sullen, he links his hand with yours and lets you lead him out, Minho trailing behind the two of you. Once you’re back at the garden, Jeongin whispers into your ear, “I’ll always be your friend, noona. I won’t hurt you.”
“Of course you won’t,” you laugh. “I’ll join you soon, okay?”
Minho turns to you as soon as Jeongin goes back to his friends, studying your expressions carefully. You want to tell him so many things, yet the only words you can produce are, “Fuck you, Lee Minho.”
You feel slightly lighter when Minho says nothing to defend himself, sitting on the grass before gesturing at you to do the same. It fuels your need to let out the pain you previously sealed inside your heart, ironically basking in his comforting presence as you do so.
“The whole time I felt like something was missing. You knew that, then went on hiding the rest of the puzzle pieces and left me there, incomplete. Just like that.”
This isn’t your first time baring your heart to Minho, the last time you did it you were left with such immeasurable pain that erasing a part of your brain—your soul—sounded like a better choice. You wait for the sadness and rage to take over your mind, but the storm never comes. You wonder what makes it different until Minho shifts to look at you in the eye.
Minho is looking at you with those pretty eyes like you’re the only one he can see. It’s not just a sweet dream you tried to dream of every night when you were 17. You’re no longer the only one who’s wearing your heart on your sleeves.
“Am I doing this because I feel guilty or because I genuinely want to be with you?” he begins. “Believe me Y/N, I spent months trying to find the answer and justify what I did, but I guess you can never exactly separate those two feelings.”
His confession is bittersweet; you know it won’t end all your personal battles. You still have to fight them, help yourself to understand why you are thinking and acting the way you are. The gaps have been filled, and now you have to be the one who define yourself.
“I thought I could just treat you better for the rest of our lives. I was sure my love would be enough to heal you. That was very stupid and selfish of me, and I’m sorry. You’re free to hate me, push me away, ruin my life… the decision is yours. But I don’t wanna hide how I feel anymore. Not from you.”
You’re still pondering his words when Jeongin comes to check on you, making sure Minho isn’t making you cry again.
“No, Jeongin, I’m fine. Look? I’m not crying!” you reassure the pouty kid.
He beams at you with his toothy smile. “Really?! Did you make up? Friends have to forgive each other!”
“I know, sweetheart,” you coo. “And yes, we made up. Friends forgive each other.”
Minho shoots you a surprised look, but you ignore him until you convince Jeongin that he can continue playing. “I don’t know whether we can go back to what we were,” you tell him, gazing at the clear sky. “I still need time to process everything, but I was afraid that I wouldn’t ever see you again. So we can be friends, if you want.”
He chuckles, eyes sparkling and hopeful. “Hi. I’m Lee Minho.”
“I’m Y/N,” you reply. “Anyways, Lee Minho my new friend, how did you know that I’m here?”
“Your scary friend Bang Chan told me you’d be here.”
“So you think Chan is scary.”
Minho does something that’s between a shrug and a shudder. “He’s always shooting daggers at me how do you not notice?!”
As you and Minho spend the rest of the day laughing and enjoying the sun, you rediscover the magic of following your heart.
It’s heavenly.
To Minho, there are only okay days and good days. Bad days almost never happen, but today is a bad day. Everything started from Eat Here’s fruit supplier sending them the wrong strawberries, then Seungmin called in sick minutes before his shift started, and now he has to deal with a couple whose order hasn’t been processed since 40 minutes ago.
“I apologize for the inconvenience. We’re processing your order now and it will be on us. Jisung, we need another 2 glasses of lemonade—”
“We need our food, not—”
Minho’s lips stretch into a thin smile, the kind of smile he hates because you once said you could sense that he was faking it. His business smile is the only that can save him now, so he ignores the fact that you’re watching the whole chaos and says, “It will be on us. You’re going to need more drinks while waiting.”
After making sure that he’s appeased the angry customers, Minho goes back to the small table at the corner where you’re waiting for him. He can no longer mask his fatigue and annoyance when you lay your eyes on him, all he wants now is to hold you in his arms and sleep everything away. He knows he can’t ask you for more, he’s already getting more than he deserves since you agreed to be friends with him again.
He’s undeniably the luckiest man in the whole galaxy, but it’s human instincts to always want more. There are days when his longing for you is too much to handle, and today is one of those days.
His train of thoughts is interrupted when a cold glass is pressed against his cheek. “Minho?”
“Huh?”
Your eyes crinkle knowingly when he focuses his eyes on you again. “I want to listen to you ranting but I really need to go now. Chan needs me back at the office.”
“Okay,” he answers rather brashly. “Thanks for stopping by.”
Minho almost pouts the way Jeongin does (that pout always gets him) whenever the two of you are going home, luckily he stops himself just in time, opting to wonder what will happen if he tells you that he wants you to stay just a minute longer instead.
You make your way to the door, but not without stopping to give him one last advice, “You better not complain that everything is annoying every 5 seconds if you want that new guy to last more than a day. He’s been looking like a lost quokka!”
Your “warning” came out a bit too loud than you expected. Of course, it reaches Han “that new guy” Jisung’s ears and Minho hopes he remembers to give the poor kid a slice of cheesecake for free after his shift ends. You flash him an apologetic smile, turning to Jisung to convince him that his boss isn’t as bad as he seems before your phone rings.
“He’s harmless, Jisung, just make him iced Americano everyday, praise his cats, and you’re good. Okay, I have to go now or I’ll be jobless in an hour! Byeee!”
Minho’s mouth has curled into a lovesick smile at your antics, waving at you until you close the door of your car. The way you naturally calm him down surprises him everytime, it’s like you’re unaware of how much power you have over him.
God, you really own every inch of his heart, don’t you?
Second chances are overrated.
People change, but once you pay attention to them a just a liiiitle more, you realize that they’re still the same. Lee Minho believes he doesn’t deserve any second chance from you, yet he finds himself seeking forgiveness the moment he looked into your eyes again. As selfish as it sounds, Minho wants your love. Nobody else’s, just yours.
He tried to fill in the empty space you left with other people, but none of them fit. It was always too much or too little, punching him right in his gut for ever thinking that what you two had was too much, that you were too much.
Seeing you fast asleep in his living room with Soonie, Doongie and Dori is another reminder that you were never too much.
You were, and still are, his everything.
Dori opens her eyes before jumping out of your arms, making you stir. Minho quietly strokes your hair to lull you back to sleep, but soon your eyes flutter open as well. “Hmmm look who’s here… the hottest man alive,” you mumble.
Minho points at himself. “Not that I’m surprised, but thank you.”
Your sleepy smile and the breathy chuckle that comes after make his stomach flip. It’s just a simple reaction, something you probably didn’t realize doing, but it feels breathtakingly intimate and loving to Minho. A small part of you that only him can see, something that will cross his mind sometime during work, making him wish time to pass quickly so he can rush back home. To you.
Damn, he promised himself not to let him picture a life with you as the love of his life, but look at his defense crumbling right in front of you because of a mere smile.
You seem to notice his dilemma, lips forming another smile. Opening your arms, you whisper, “Come here.”
The voices in his head are drowned by your request, it’s echoing inside his head like a deathly spell. You have him in your embrace nanoseconds later, curling your hands around his neck as he completely succumbs to his longing.
Minho’s head buzzes with the need to tell you that he loves you, wants you, and misses you to the point that he almost asks you to please please please please forgive him and take him back.
“Okay.”
He lifts his head from the crook of your neck, eyes flickering to yours. You chuckle at his reaction, cupping his cheeks with your warm hands. “Say that again.”
“Say… what again?”
Minho blinks up at you, tiny groans of regret escaping his lips when he realizes that he just spilled everything out loud. “I’m sorry,” he sighs. “I wasn’t supposed to say that. I know this isn’t about me, but—”
“Did you mean it, though?”
“Of course I did,” Minho says. “But I want to go according to your pace.”
“If I didn’t want the same thing I wouldn’t be here, Minho.” Your voice is as sweet as honey, hypnotizing him into dropping his hopeless pretense. “I’ve built a new home that truly feels like home. It’s probably just a small house, filled with everything that makes me me. But it feels like a beautiful kingdom, and it’s not complete without you in it.”
You don’t have to say it; the way you hold his gaze with such a raw, pure sincerity and the way you asked him to be with you as if he’s the best person in the whole world are enough to let Minho know that he’s all forgiven.
Feeling a tug at his shirt, he meets your expectant eyes once again. “Are you going to continue staring at me like that until we fall asleep?”
The last traces his fear for disappointing you melts away as you start stroking his hair. “I love you,” he rasps, unconsciously leaning in until his lips brush over yours. “My precious moonlight, I’ll do my best so you won’t ever have to erase me again. I love you, Y/N, please don’t leave me.”
You barely manage to nod before Minho finally crashes his lips against yours, not giving you any chance to steal a breath as he lets his feelings overtake himself. He explores every part of your lips like a madman and you accept whatever he gives you, trying to keep up with his feverish kisses and letting him know that he doesn’t need to hold back.
The sudden urge to see you encourages him to pull away. Minho says nothing for a while, only looking into your eyes with silent adoration. Still breathless, you prop yourself up to reward him with a chaste kiss on the tip of his nose, the sweet gesture causing Minho to attack you with a series of playful smooches.
“How long do you think this will last?” you ask in between kisses, giggling when Minho switches your positions, you’re now lying on top of him.
“This?”
You pinch his cheek. “I gotta admit it feels kinda nice to hear you saying please so many times.”
Minho arches an eyebrow at your cheeky remark. “Is that so? Wait until you find out how much I like hearing you beg.”
“Minho!” you exclaim, dropping your head on his chest to hide your flushed cheeks. He wraps his arms around you, ready to make you even more flustered before accidentally locking eyes with his cats. You lift your head when you feel his body stills, following his gaze.
“Oh no,” you murmur. “The kids saw that, didn’t they?”
He smiles sheepishly at each of them, somehow feeling like he’s gotten caught by his parents. “This kind of thing happens when you love someone,” he attempts to joke. “So get used to it, okay kiddos?”
You nudge his chest with your chin. “God, you’re shameless.”
“They’re cats!”
“Then why are your ears so red?!”
Minho tuts. “That’s it. We need to do this more often so they’ll get used to it.”
As he silences you with another searing kiss, Minho almost malfunctions at how addicting and comforting it is to have you as his again. It’s impossible to fathom all of his feelings for you into words, yet he still hopes you’ll feel every single one of them.
And you do, because Minho is yours. Entirely yours.
“How did you pass your driving test? Did you bribe them or something?”
Hyunjin doesn’t bother to answer Seungmin’s accusation, eyes glued to the road.
“Watch it,” Minho warns monotonously while you’re gripping his hand, too scared to witness the younger trying to drive. Seungmin shrieks in horror when Hyunjin hits the break almost too late. He glares at the passenger seats where you and Minho are seated. “Hyung can you just take over? Or at least switch seats with me?”
“I can’t.” He points at you. “Y/N is scared as hell and I’m not gonna let you hold her hand.”
Hyunjin curses under his breath when several other cars pass him. “Give me a break! This is my first time driving at the highway,” he argues. “And I was supposed to borrow Chan hyung’s car! Driving your car makes it even ten times scarier!”
“Hey, what’s wrong with my car?!” your boyfriend protests.
The three men continue talking over each other, causing you to roar, “SHUT UP!! Hwang Hyunjin, if you take your hands off the wheels you’re gonna die before you even scratch the car!”
Twenty painful minutes later, Hyunjin succeeds in parallel parking the car with the help of a very frustrated Seungmin. The two boys are heading to the orphanage right away, leaving you and Minho alone for your little date.
Minho opens the trunk, setting it up quickly before pulling you to sit beside him, handing you one of the toasts he packed this morning. “Whoa, the moony park is even more beautiful during the day,” you muse, leaning your head on his shoulder.
“Yeah,” Minho agrees. “Should we come here more often at this hour?”
“It doesn’t matter, as long as you’re with me.”
Minho snorts at your cheesy answer, but you still sense his wary from the way he keeps glancing at you from time to time. “Is this about the erasure recording you found in my room yesterday? Is that why you took me here?”
“I’m just wondering why you’re still keeping it. I thought we agreed to destroy it,” he says, doing his best to conceal his uneasiness. You initially thought it was a great idea to forget it ever happened, but no, you’re not running away. You want to accept all the consequences of the decisions you have made, especially this one.
“We did, but then I realized I didn’t want to. I don’t want to erase anything anymore, Minho. I want to live life as it is. It’s a memento from the most important period of my life, and while it hurts, it’s a part of me.” You throw your arms around him, squeezing his body until he turns to you and return your hug. “It’s also a reminder that what we have is stronger than anything, don’t you think? I erased you and I still fell in love with you again. Like an idiot.”
Relief washes over you when Minho chuckles, carefree and amused. “You’re not an idiot,” he teases. “You just have an exceptional taste, and I’m way too irresistible. Let’s face it, you were already crazy for me even before I gave you my card.”
“No I wasn’t! I just thought you were attractive!”
“I am the hottest man alive.”
You sigh. “You’ll never let me live it down.”
“No,” he affirms. “Because you’re right. It’s time to stop trying to forget our past. I’ll never forget the fact that you’re calling me the hottest man alive, just like I’ll never forget how much I’ve hurt you. And how much I’ll always try to make it up to you.”
You laugh at his comparison. “I honestly can’t tell whether we’re having a serious conversation or just trolling each other.”
“It’s my talent, baby. Life is always fun with me.”
Although the park has become more crowded and your boyfriend is never big on PDA, you have no choice but giving him a kiss on his cheek. “You don’t have to do anything for me,” you whisper. “Just love me.”
“Hmm.” His lips stretch into a loving smile, the one smile reserved for your eyes only. “That I do.”
Minho isn’t a prince charming who sweeps you off your feet. He is your wandering prince and you’re his moonlight, illuminating his gloomy world. You show him that he doesn’t have to wander for the rest of his life, that he can call you home and stay.
And Minho will always be with you, showering you with the love you deserve. He’ll be the one who fight the demons for you and with you, he’ll be the one who reminds you over and over again how strong and precious you are whenever you lose faith in yourself. Together, you are moonlit. Together, you are complete.
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I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...
Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.
I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.
Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation.
We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:
We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most.
But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything.
And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.
Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”
I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really.
Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.
2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?
Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning.
To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.
And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family.
Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.
So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.
Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.
That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom.
And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?
And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?
P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.
#answered#anonymous#tadaai#tadashi kikuchi#shindo ainosuke#adam x tadashi#sk8#sk8 the infinity#anime#this is what i think about these two at least
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