#*incredible violence ensues*
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corpusdiem-seizethedead · 3 months ago
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*Angel and Husk taking Nuggets for a walk, minding their business*
Some rando: Slut!
Angel: *stops*
Angel: Hold my pig-
Husk: Kick his ass, baby. I got your pig-
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siriuslylantsov · 29 days ago
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not mad
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader
description: you do something stupid, and you wonder why spencer isn't mad.
tags: fluff and (a little hurt? and) comfort, established relationship, minor descriptions of violence and injury, brief mention of a gun, no use of y/n, reader is anxious and a little lost lol, spencer's a sweetheart, derek morgan makes an appearance, spencer praises readers judgement and sweet sweet fluff ensues, ending could be perceived as innuendo but i think it becomes a tickle fight.
a/n: my first ever fic.... kinda nervous.... the neck kiss in the bathroom was lightly inspired but the neck kiss in normal people iykyk, i hope you enjoy this!!
wc: 1k
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you lean forward over the sink to inspect your face. a deep crimson cut on your cheekbone the object of your surveyal, you lightly graze your finger over it and the bruised skin surrounding it. you wince at the memory of how you got it. 
“you okay sweetheart?” morgan had asked, walking up to you and the medic cleaning up your wound. you gave him a reassuring smile “yeah, im okay.” your gaze drifted over to a distressed looking spencer deep in conversation with hotch, no doubt talking about your recklessness. “hes mad” you stated, looking back at derek who was looking at sympathetically. “yeah, well you’ve got quite a gash.” you chuckled lowly and muttered out a quiet “you should see the other guy”. you were rewarded with a hearty laugh from the man in front of you, “alright i see you” he concurred before his expression turned solemn, dropping a hand on your shoulder “he loves you; he was worried about you. we all were.”
his words took you back to the event in question, you had rushed into a witnesses house with no backup after hearing a scream and a loud thud. you were greeted with a swift blow to the face, causing you to keel over but you recovered fast. you managed to slam the barrel of your gun, hand still loosely wrapped around it, into the unsubs head before he could do anymore damage, detaining him quickly, but you were still at fault and felt bad.
he gave your shoulder a squeeze and you pouted, mouthing an ‘im sorry’. he gave you a small shake in response, prompting a small giggle to bubble up from your lips. the sound caught spencers attention and he made his way toward you. derek gave his friend a pat on the shoulder and pointed ‘dont be too hard on her’ look before leaving. you looked up at your boyfriend with guilt-ridden eyes only to be met with a small smile. “let's go home.”
to say you were confused would be an understatement. you had done something incredibly stupid and the entire ride over spencer hadn’t given you an ounce of shit for it, you sure would've had the roles been reversed. he carried your bag and ran you a bath as soon as you got home, placing pyjamas- his caltech t shirt and a pair of black shorts- on the counter for you to change into.
after scrutinising the wound a bit more, you pick up your toothbrush and toothpaste. a soft knock comes from the door. “come in” you call out. you look over your shoulder to see spencer walking in sheepishly. he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, leaning down to press a kiss to the exposed skin of your neck. you instinctively tilt your head to give him more access, and he smiles against your skin. 
you meet his eyes in the reflection, chewing your lip anxiously. he takes note of this and spins you around to face him. he slowly frees your bottom lip from between your teeth with his thumb. “what's wrong?” he inquires gently, his thumb moving gently across your chin. you frown, “you're not mad.” you respond feebly, more an observation than a question. he smoothes out the lines between your eyebrows, “do you want me to be mad?” “no- yes- i just…” he crooks his eyebrows at you expectantly. you slump back on the counter in exasperation, spencers arms holding you up while you find your words. “you should be mad. i was stupid. you should yell at me, give me the silent treatment. you should shut me out. you dont- you shouldn't… be this nice” you ramble out remorsefully, frown adorning your face again. “do you want me to do all those things?” he suggests, hands moving down to your hips. “yes, you should.” you reiterate. he has an annoyingly contented expression on his face, “well, i don't want to.” he responds plainly, sure of himself. “why not?” you plead, eyes searching his, wondering where all this cool is coming from. 
he gives your hips a gentle squeeze and tugs you out of the bathroom, leading you to sit on the edge of the bed. he takes a seat next to you and intertwines his hand in yours, deciding that constantly touching you will remind you that he loves you. “you really wanna know why i'm not mad?” he offers to which you timidly nod, “i trust you, angel. sure, i was a little mad talking to hotch but he took me off that ledge and reminded me that you are a brilliant,” he emphasises this with a kiss to your cheek “and skilled agent, and that you made the right call” you bashfully smile at your lap “you were stupid, yes” at that you look up at him offended, even though you called yourself stupid minutes ago, he continues. “but you saved that girls life and you took down an unsub on your own without so much as a cut and a bruise and you caught the guy we've been after for a week, i'm not mad. i'm proud of you” 
he tilts his head town to meet your eyes that were once again staring at your lap. you tentatively meet his eyes and he smiles at you. you can't help but smile back as you throw your arms over his shoulders and pull him in for a hug. he lets out an amused huff through his nose as he wraps his arms around you in return. “i love you.” you mumble into his hair. he squeezes you as he reciprocates fondly, “i love you too, silly girl.”
you pull away all too reluctantly and climb onto his lap, straddling him. “you're too nice y’know that?” you tease, hands planted on his shoulders. his eyes glisten mischievously and he grasps your waist firmly likehe'sgoingtoflipyouover “oh yeah? i'll show you nice.”
m.list
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youaintnothinbuta · 7 months ago
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“I’m right here.” — feyd rautha x reader
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Summary: you get injured while combat training and Feyd kills your instructor for causing it
Pairing: feyd rautha x fem!reader
Word count: 884
Warnings: Feyd fluff. Graphic violence, killing, blood, stab wounds depicted, probably typos
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You stood in the training grounds, sweat dripping down your forehead as you faced your instructor. Ever since marrying Feyd, you had been keen on improving your combat skills. You were a good fighter already, but Rabban had laughed at you once, calling you a fair fighter. That stuck with you. You didn’t want your fights to be fair. You wanted to be ruthless and brutal like the Harkonnen were known for. Feyd insisted that you did not need improve and that he would never let you be caught in a situation where you’d ever need to employ your already strong combat skills. Feyd as a husband though, was incredibly doting and indulgent, and whatever his wife wanted, he made sure his wife got.
Your fighting instructor was one of the (particularly stern) Harkonnen wards. Feyd liked to attend your training sessions whenever he could. He watched from the sidelines, two of his subordinates either side of him, his arms crossed over his chest as he observed your every move. He monitored your progress, but more importantly, was there also in case anything happened to you.
“Again,” the instructor barked, lifting his dagger to strike.
You ducked and rolled, narrowly avoiding the blow. Your heart raced as you lunged at him, your own blade flashing in the sunlight. The Harkonnens were known for their ruthless fighting style, and you couldn't afford to be caught off guard.
You parried his attack, the clang of metal ringing out in the arena. The dance of combat ensued, each strike and parry leaving Feyd impressed. As you sparred, you felt a sharp pain in your side. A piercing shriek rang from your lips, you cried as you reeled over in pain, the sound echoing off the walls of the arena as you stumbled to the ground. Feyd was by your side in an instant, getting you onto your back, cradling your head in his lap. You screamed and cried, your vision swimming with tears as you fought to stay conscious.
“Just breathe,” he murmured in between your screeching, “just breathe.”
The sound of your cry, especially one of pain, was the worst sound he could ever be subjected too. Like how a mother reacts to her baby’s cry, it was horrid, not because of your voice, but because he felt this unyielding compulsion to put an end to its cause in an instant.
He had one hand at the top of your head, holding it steady against his thighs. The other hand, he had firmly gripped on your chin, holding your head so you wouldn’t catch a glimpse of your wound, your vision pointed directly up at his face. Feyd knew that your injury was not that deep, nor in a fatal position. He knew he wouldn’t have made so much of a peep if he received the same one. If you were his student he would have punished you for reacting to your wound. That was irrelevant, though. He didn’t need you to be as good of a fighter as him. He just needed you to be okay.
Tears streamed down your face as you struggled to catch your breath. The pain was intense, like a searing hot knife cutting through your flesh. You could feel the warmth of your own blood seeping through your training clothes.
As the sound of hurried footsteps of medics and doctors approached, Feyd's demeanor shifted, his gaze hardening into steel.
"You are okay," he whispered, his voice barely audible, “I’m right here.”
He rose to his feet, his movements fluid and purposeful as he approached your instructor with a rumbling snarl.
"Women are not fighters," he spat as Feyd approached him.
“You commit treason,” Feyd growled, his voice a low, dangerous rumble. "You are weak."
With a swift motion, Feyd drew his blade, the metal glinting ominously in the light. Before anyone could react, Feyd struck, his blade slicing through the air with deadly precision. Blood sprayed across the arena as the instructor's throat was slit open, a gurgled scream escaping his lips before he crumpled to the ground, lifeless.
Feyd stood over the instructor's lifeless body, his blade still in hand. His eyes met yours, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of fear in them. But then it was gone, replaced by a fierce determination.
“You will heal quickly, you are strong. I will protect you,” he said, his voice fierce.
And you knew he meant it. Feyd Rautha, the Harkonnen heir, had just killed one of his own to protect you. You had been cut free of your clothing, your wound was tended to, cleaned and stitched up and injected with pain killers in a matter of minutes, exactly the way the Harkonnen medics were trained to do. Feyd watched over as they did so. You could feel his hand on yours, his thumb tracing lazy circles on your skin.
“I'm here,” he murmured. “I'm not going anywhere.”
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled. He shook his head, arguing your apology.
Feyd was right, you did heal quickly. With his care and the help of healing baths, despite them being slightly disgusting. Feyd also made the decision that when you had healed, he would be your mentor, as he no longer trusted any of his wards to be.
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three--rings · 2 months ago
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You Should Watch The Spirealm/致命游戏
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What is it?
A 2024 cdrama based on the danmei webnovel Kaleidoscope of Death. It's a censored version of a BL novel, with thriller, mystery, and horror aspects, 38 45-minute episodes.
What's it about?
A young man accidentally gets drawn into a virtual reality video game that involves passing tests in a series of doors. Once you start playing, you cannot stop and if you die in the game, you die in real life. He meets a frustratingly mysterious, competent, and attractive man in the doors who recruits him to be part of his game solving team. Well, specifically to be his partner. Lots of gay subtext ensues as they fight through door after door seeking to get to the final door in order to end the evils of the game. (The book is a little different, as it's more supernatural.)
So basically it's a infinite flow deadly game situation, with m/m romance.
Main Characters:
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Lin Quishi/Ling Juishi (novel/drama versions of his name)- Our protagonist. A smart graduate in computer science, good at games. Well meaning but a little naive to start out.
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Ruan Nanzhu/Ruan Lanzhu - Our love interest. In the novel he crossdresses often and he presents as a woman for the whole first arc. Super intelligent, expert at the game, extremely flirty but reserved at the same time. Got one look at Lin Quishi and said That One.
Other Characters, aka the Found Family:
Ruan Nanzhu's team consists of a pair of twin brothers (one young and dumb and one uptight), a hot doctor vet, a woman whose main job seems to be cooking dinner, and a not-so-stable dude.
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Then there's Li Dong Yuan, a rival player who becomes reluctantly-tolerated friend, and his cute female assistant. And Tan Zao Zao, an actress who hires the team to help her in the games and also sticks around persistently.
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They're pretty much all delightful and some may start off silly/annoying and end up breaking the hell out of your heart.
Okay, but what's the VIBE?
Big Guardian vibes. The team of lovable scamps investigating weird supernatural (?) type mysteries? While the boss and the guy he fell for have a situationship? Totally. This definitely has more of a horror feel than Guardian, though, even though they tone things down from the novel.
Each door is its own setting, and some are more scary than others. So one is a mental hospital, one is a traditional village, one is a gothic manor, etc. Lots of tragic female ghosts who have been wronged and are getting revenge. The one that really creeped me out was the one with the children with the eggs. It does a lot of creepy rather than really horror. It's not truly gory at all, as it was made to air on Chinese TV and they have strict limits to violence.
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The camerawork and set decor is really nice, actually. It looks great most of the time and a lot of the effects seem to be practical. It looks a lot better than Guardian is what I'm saying, if not quite to a film level.
How Gay is It?
Oh MY GOD. Okay look, this show was NOT supposed to be released, but thank whoever put it up for that two hours. It's really incredibly blatant, like really as much as Word of Honor was, although because the plot is focused elsewhere it's maybe not quite as in your face. But the actors UNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT and there's so much longing and SO much implication. After a while, everyone basically just treats the main couple as a couple even thought it's never talked about.
I mean episode one there's Only One Bed and at the end of their first meeting Ruan Nanzhu gives Lin Quishi a RING. I mean, the flirting is also BLATANT. I also just find this a really romantic show, despite the Not Talking About It thing.
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Is it a Happy Ending?
So, It's Complicated. I'm trying not to spoil anything and this show is pretty easy to have spoiled for you. There's definitely a good bit of tragedy in this show in general. Characters die and it's really sad. Like, this is a plot with stakes and if no one we liked ever died, it wouldn't be the same.
I will say I consider this show to have a happy ending, but you do go through some pain first. Essentially the main couple does have a separation, but there is a reunion before the end. There's also a scene that will give Guardian fans fucking PTSD, but the show does a fix-it on its own, okay? I do feel that I have to warn for that, though.
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Where can I watch it?
The show is legally available on Viki with a subscription. Obviously there are other ways to find it as well, and links went around before it was picked up by Viki so check tags if you need those.
I really hope this encourages some people to watch this show, as it's really well made and a great time. It's one of a very small number of danmei adaptations we've gotten, but a lot less people have watched it since it's modern and had a weird release. Honestly, it's well written and acted and filmed and you should give it a shot.
(All gifs by @ruanbaijie, thank you very much for allowing me to use them. Check out their blog, there's such gorgeous stuff there!)
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johnwickb1tsch · 8 months ago
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Tex Johnson x Witness!Reader x John Wick Imagine Part 1 by @treedaddymcpuffpuff @sweetwolfcupcake and @johnwickb1tsch GIF credits to @scarlettspectra ❤
What unholy fuckery is this, you ask? It's a round robin fic! And we're consolidating our parts here for your reading pleasure...
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Summary: Imagine you're a witness in a high profile FBI case against the mafia and hitmen John Wick and Tex Johnson are competing for the contract on you. After some serious fighting and car chases in the end they just decide to fake your death and keep you for themselves...🤫 Original Post
Warnings: So many dead doves! Don't eat! Unless you like dead doves, that is. Violence, sexual content, blood, murder, kidnapping, possessive behavior, yandere sh!t...it's all here! Please take care! 😘
johnwickb1tsch:
In the beginning Tex plays with you, chatting you up in the local diner of the po-dunk town witness protection has stashed you in. You're so cute, he just can't help himself. He peppers you with "darlin's" and sly winks and usually you would tell someone hitting on you like this to fuck off, but... You can tell he's a little wild but he's so heart-stoppingly handsome and there's something infectious in the devil-may-care way he smiles at you with a mischievous glitter in his dark eyes. That down-home accent does things to you that shouldn't be mentioned in polite company. You actually like him, so it's an EXTRA shock when it turns out he's there to kill you...
treedaddymcpuffpuff: And you’re just so sweet and cute and funny and fiery - just his type. And he’s just gonna make it quick and painless at first, but then you’re so entertaining that he wants to fuck with you for a while. Maybe even fuck you before he puts a bullet in your smart little head. John Wick just flat out wants to kill you as soon as possible. Get it over with. At least at first. But, he’s John Wick, let’s be for real. And you’re just an innocent bystander who saw too much (and you volunteer at the local animal shelter and you always give out money to homeless people and you’re just an all around sweetheart, damn you), so John is gonna decide to say fuck his task (big shocker) and save you from Tex instead.
johnwickb1tsch:
You are incredibly lonely and bored in the little town you’ve been stuck in. You usually keep to yourself, as per your FBI handler’s warnings. But you’re having such a good time, when Tex asks if you want to go for a ride in his incredibly hot vintage muscle car…you ignore every bit of good sense you have left to your name, and agree. He thinks this is hilarious, of course. And…kind of endearing. Here you are, just eatin’ out of the palm of his hand like he’s not some kind of monster.
So…you go for a ride, and you don’t get too alarmed when Tex heads out of town. He can’t show off what this baby can do in the city limits, after all… But when there’s an explosion, the front tire going flat, and you have to pull over in the middle of nowhere, you start to get worried. When Tex gets out to see the tire’s been shot out…and he pulls a gun, looking around—you start to realize you made a HUGE fucking mistake. You get out of the car, thinking this would be a great time to go elsewhere. He tries to grab you, but you knee him in the crotch! 👈 @treedaddymcpuffpuff 🤭
Just your luck, here comes another vehicle speeding down the road. Wow, there are a lot of muscle cars on the road today. This one is dark gray, with black racing stripes. You try to flag him down—but change your mind when a hand extends out the window holding a gun, and he opens fire on Tex. You, understandably, duck for cover while screaming as the firefight ensues around you. Then suddenly strong hands are grabbing you up—and throwing you in the trunk... Dun dun dun! 😈🤣
sweetwolfcupcake: Now, that's a shitty situation. That's all you can think before you begin to scream for help. But who would be there in an isolated road, ready to go against two armed men? You can barely see the man shoving you into the trunk when another round of fire starts. The man backs off to pull his gun back, but that is enough time for you to slip put. Staggering on your feet. To your relief, it is tge familiar car. Your FBI handler! "Oh God, oh God!" You cry out in tears of part relief and part terror. How could you be so stupid? Following a stranger into his car?
treedaddymcpuffpuff:
Ah, your FBI case handler. He’s a tough guy. Trustworthy. Scrappy. You know he’ll protect you even though you really hate being a damsel in distress because fuck that trope. Except mystery man (JOHNNY BOY) shoots him in the kneecap faster than FBI man can blink or say “mercy”.
And then Tex grabs you and points a loaded Glock at your head, grinning that shark toothed grin that not too long ago was making you giggle like a schoolgirl. And now it’s just making you hyperventilate and practically piss yourself in fear.
And here you are, the bargaining chip in a game of who dies first with three grown men fighting over you.
Johnwickb1tsch: “Well well. Ain’t this a sticky situation?” calls out Tex, taking cover behind his car, an arm wrapped firmly around your shoulders with that fucking gun to your head. The barrel digs into your temple painfully. “Asshole,” you growl under your breath. At a volume just for you he says, “Now, now, darlin’, don’t be sore.” “I actually liked you.” “I like you too. But your pretty head is worth a fuck ton o’ dinero. It’s a shame, sweetheart, but it ain’t lookin’ good for you.” Tears start streaming down your cheeks as the hopelessness of the situation really settles down on you. “Then why don’t you just shoot me now?” “That’s a helluva suggestion. You’re not very good at this game, are you?” “It’s not a game, you bastard.” “Sure it is.” Then in a louder voice he calls out, “Hey, John! Been a long time.” There’s a long pause before you hear from the other side of the dark muscle car, “Yeah.” “Whattya say we split the bounty, call it even stevens?” “I don’t want the girl dead.” This actually, if not stupidly, inspires some hope in you. But then if he was here to rescue you…why did he shoot your FBI agent? Tex actually laughs about this. The feeling of his broad chest moving behind you is…distracting. “Now that’s interesting! How do you propose we go about that?” “I kill you both and take her with me,” is this John’s deadpan response. He sounds so…certain that he can accomplish this. It’s kind of hot, if you’re being honest. You like the part about you not being dead, but the rest… “Hey now, that’s not nice,” answers Tex, and you can tell he’s smiling as he says it. “And you forget about this big ol’ gun I got pressed to her head.” “If you kill her, I’m going to kill you.” “Anyone ever tell you you’re a one trick pony, John?” “Yeah.” “How bout this. For old time’s sakes. Remember how it was that time in Tijuana?” “I was extremely drunk.” Tex chuckles at this, some fond old memory, and your heart is slowly sinking little by little all the way to your feet. “Well, I seem to remember you don’t mind sharing. I could live with that.” The silence on this deserted road stretches on as John considers this. “And after? The girl lives?” “Sure, sure. We fake her death, take the money. She can go her way, and we go ours.” “We’ll have to kill Dmitri Nobokov.” “He’s an asshole anyway.”    “Deal.” You are shocked when Tex releases you so suddenly you fall into a pile on the ground. What the fuck were they even talking about?? Sharing…you??! Moving in tandem, you watch as the two dangerous men close in on Agent Bradford. You hear shots, and you fear the worst. In the end you find yourself sitting on the ground, quivering like a terrified lump of jell-0, with two tall, stupidly handsome, mafia assassins looming over you. “Are you guys…brothers, or something?” Frowning, they look at each other. Tex in his denim and John in his smart black suit.  “What?” “No.” They reach down for you, and you find yourself locked in the trunk, again.
Treedaddymcpuffpuff:
You don’t see the need for the rope binding your wrists behind your back, or the tether on the ankles. Overkill, much?
Maybe they think you actually pose a challenge? Well, that’s nice of them, but even you’re not blimp-headed enough to think you can take on two taller, bigger, combat ready men. Plus, Tex lifted you like you were a goddamn sack of pillow stuffing.
You’re more convinced by the minute this is all just meant to humiliate you - the bondage, the trunk, the fucking slinging you over a shoulder and making casual conversation about how they’re going to pull off your death. 
Which makes you seethe because you didn’t fucking do anything. And, poor Bradford, with the family and the kids.. well, probably, you don’t actually know about his personals. That doesn’t change the fact he was a living, breathing human - once - who was just trying to keep you safe. 
You have to do something, so you don’t make it easy for them - you kick, squirm, bite. You get a big chunk of the nameless one’s hand in your mouth and latch on like a little boa, and he doesn’t even seem bothered. He just sighs, pinches your nose shut until you have to let go. 
“Now, darlin’,” Tex coos, too close to your ear for comfort, “we gotta gag you, too?” 
“I hate you,” you spit. 
Tex sifts the prickly rope through his hands, fast, big fingers way too agile, snaps it taut, chuckles like he was hoping you’d say something bitchy. And watching that debauched show should have not made your insides give an abrupt, furious clench. But it just does. 
“Guess that’s a yes,” he sighs. 
Johnwickb1tsch:
When the blade comes out is when you really start to panic. They debated for what felt like hours about what was the best way to drain your fucking blood. Something about staging your death, burning Agent Bradford's body in his car, leaving some of your blood and hair at the scene.
Jesus fucking christ, how has your life come to this?
When you feel Tex's rough hand on your arm, inspecting your anatomy for a vein, you start to cry. You couldn't be more surprised, than when you feel a soft touch in your cheek. "Hey, it's going to be alright. We just need a little." It's the intense one. John. He doesnt say much, but you get the feeling he could burn down the world with that anthracite gaze.
 Still, you whimper when you feel the cool blade on your skin. "Don't hurt her," warns John, his voice not so gentle for Tex, filled with warning.
 "I'm not," insists the one behind you. You feel a sting, but somehow, he was telling the truth. You feel the warm drip of your blood oozing down your arm. They're catching it in a 7-11 cup. How...decorous.
"Really, you should be thanking us," drawls Tex. "We saved your life."
Your exclamation of "Are you fucking kidding me?" is muffled by the scratchy rope in your mouth.
Tex gets it though, and grins. "That's right. It was an open contract, darlin'. If we didn't find you, someone else would have. Someone not so nice."
John tilts his head slightly in agreement.
 "How did you find out where the Federal Bureau of Incompetence was keepin' her, Wick?"
 "A mole." It's the only shred of hope you have.
"What a coincidence."
 Bradford was a good man. You at least know it wasn't him.
Even though you're tied up, you are so relieved when they finally go. However, it seems like they're not gone long before they return to the secluded hideout. They are not happy. Apparently, Bradford's body was gone from the scene. He could still be out there, looking for you.
sweetwolfcupcake: Hope flared within you, and it might have shown, unfortunately. You felt fingers grab your chin-- firm, not painful(for now). "Don't be so quick to sigh. Finding him is a child's play for us. And then we kill him." Tex' cold stare greeted her. Though a biting reply remained at the tip of your tongue, you knew better than to piss them off. Your life was still in their hands, after all. "I have made the arrangements." The other man approached them, he was on call for a while. He glanced at you and sighed. His eyes found Tex before he nodded. You frowned as your mind raced with possibilities, but it was only for a moment before you felt a sharp, sudden pain at the back of your head and your eyes rolled back. "You were supposed to go for the vein, not hit her!" John hissed, cradling your lolled head in his hands. " Remind me next time." Tex rolled his eyes, no sign of remorse visible. With his jaws tensed, John let your head rest and got to work. There were a lot of things to take care of-- faking your death, for example.
Treedaddymcpuffpuff:
 When they go, they don’t even give you hope of escape - they bind you tight to a cushiony blue chair with wooden legs and arms, expertly looping ropes around and across. It would be really hot, how they move together flawlessly and work the rope like it’s a good friend, if they weren’t making sure you couldn’t move a damn inch in the process. Oh, who are you kidding? Despite your rage and fear and sorrow, your panties are still completely soaked watching big hands and bulging veins and sinew and tendon.
And now you’re highly uncomfortable, trying to squirm and getting absolutely nowhere. You’re trussed up like a thanksgiving turkey, and then they leave. Just fucking leave. How. Dare. They.
When they get back, you’ve got drool running down and soaking your shirt, neck and chin. You’re sweaty, disheveled, uncomfortable. Despite being left to your sparse devices, the arousal has just gotten worse. Because you’ve been alone with your imagination - which has been preoccupied with two very beautiful men - and you’re fucking aching. Seeing them again makes it so much worse… are they laughing, getting along? Some inside joke. Fucking rat bastards
And they’re touching you and examining you and talking about you like you are the actual thanksgiving turkey. Unconsciousness actually feels like a great relief. It’s probably the best thing that’s happened so far.
John cuts your hair and takes some skin from a place that will heal quickly. They untie you, put your limp body back in the trunk - John does this, too, being very gentle with you, carrying you bridal style instead of over his shoulder like some caveman. He checks your pulse, makes sure your oxygenation is okay, and then does what Tex should have and injects your vein with a heavy sedative to keep you knocked.
“Ya know, I kinda liked her better when she was alive and biting the shit out of you,” Tex muses as he and John slide into the car. “She’s cute, huh? Kinda tight, just needs loosened up a little bit.” Tex raises a suggestive eyebrow and John glares him down.
“Lighten up, addle-pot,” Tex replies to John’s heavy silence.
sweetwolfcupcake: The sensation of the jerking increased along with the pain at the back of her head. It hurt. The throbbing continued as she gulped-- her throat burned. The discomfort urged her to open her heavy eyes faster. Her vision was hazy but she could make out the interiors of a car. She blinked slowly. They were silent, except for occasional whispered comments from Tex and one-word answers from the other man who looked exactly like Tex but had a distinct aura, some kind of energy that sent chills down her spine. It was like being in the presence of a dangerous creature with barely contained primitiveness. He looked more refined and spoke with a tone and way that suggested quality. And yet...and yet something in the back of her mind would be ready for a fight or flight response in his presence. If anything, he had been comparatively nicer to her. Tex was a jerk in every annoying sense-- but she could dare to have a verbal spat with Tex, and give him a fitting reply. The other man though... She had not realized that she had been starring at them until a hand reached out for her from the front seat. "She's awake." A voice gently declared. Fingers touched her cheeks gently and she knew that it was the other man. Even with swimming sight, she could tell that the car was speeding through and the other man's gaze was set on her form laying on the backseat. Only if... Only if she had been smarter, and not blindly trusted a stranger--- she wouldn't be in this mess, Bradford was her only hope now, he had proven his capabilities to her time and again and she knew that he was out there, trying to track her down. She only hoped that he was well, alive, and he knew that she was alive as well.
tbc...
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sapphire-writes · 2 years ago
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Hi! I see that the request are open so I have an idea for you! ( if you don’t like it feel free to ignore this!) Aemond and reader who is daughter of rhaenyra are friends since they were children and also love each other, but always caught in the middle of their family problems, when storms end happens she is there with Luke and reader tries to help Luke by distracting aemond and vaghar with her dragon, but things get out of hand and their dragons stop obeying, and instead of vaghar eating luke she hurts the dragon and burn the reader, but what aemond does not know is that reader can’t be burned ( like danny) sorry if is too long!
A/N: This is a great request! Though I'm open to anything, I do love writing about childhood moments/childhood friends 🥺 Hope you enjoy 💚
Unburnt ~ Aemond x Velaryon(Strong)!Reader
word count: 2.2k
warnings: descriptions of violence, blood
Where your family travels, trouble seems to follow. 
Though you were fond of your uncle Aemond, Jacaerys and Lucerys were not. Tensions grew whenever they were together. You supposed it must be due to training by the sword together, something you were not allowed to participate in.
Though once, Aemond had helped you hide your dark hair within a cap to pose as Luke (Ser Criston was not fooled, and sent you on your way).
You found yourself constantly being the defender, either of Aemond or your brothers. When your Uncle Aegon and brothers presented Aemond with the pink dread you felt hot with anger. 
“That was incredibly cruel,” you had scolded Jace and Luke, causing the younger to shy away from the gaze of his elder sister. Jace held your gaze, mouth in a tight frown. He never understood your unwavering loyalty to the silver prince.
Driftmark had been a different story. You knew Aemond longed for a dragon; you couldn’t imagine not being bonded with one. Your dragon Pyraxes had been bonded to you since you shared a cradle with her. 
Baela and Rhaena had burst into the room, claiming someone had stolen Vhagar. You followed your brothers to confront the thief. 
“It’s him!”
“It's me.”
 Fighting ensues, punches are thrown, and blood sprays the sand beneath your feet. You try to insert yourself between your kin, arms blocking Aemond. The fight is not fair. There is only screaming and punching, you blindly push Baela and Rhaena. Jace pulls you from Aemond as your uncle holds a rock to Luke. 
“Bastards,” Aemond hisses, and your stomach drops. Jace pulls a knife.
Your eyes are well with tears, and you don’t know what to do. It’s Luke, it’s your brother whom you need to protect. You claw at Aemond, begging him to release him, tears streaming down your face. Aemond’s expression is pained, but he does, letting Luke drop to the floor. 
Sand is thrown, the knife catches the light of a candle, and more blood sprays to the floor along with the crumpled form of Aemond Targaryen. A pained scream cuts through the air as you rush to Aemond’s side. 
“I only wish to see him,” you beg Queen Alicent, who gives you a look of such malcontent you feel you may shrivel and perish under her gaze. Aemond is receiving no one. You had been told as much but you are a stubborn child. Ser Criston escorts you from the room. The memory you will hold of your uncle for several years is soaked in blood.
Though you did not say your goodbyes in person, you and Aemond continue to write to one another. The distance between King’s Landing and Dragonstone is not far and ravens travel quickly. You bond over shared stories, the histories, and philosophies you both love to study. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You cannot help but feel excited to see him when the succession of Driftmark is challenged. The first time you see Aemond in years, you feel your stomach quiver with nerves. He is in the training yard, dueling with Ser Criston. You stand next to Jace and Luke and cannot hide your smile. Jace takes notice and scoffs disapprovingly. 
“Nephews,” Aemond says, catching his breath. His eye finds you. “Niece.”
He lowers his sword.
“Come to train?”
The tension in the air is thick. You step forward, bridging the space between both sides of your family. 
“Is there finally room for me to train?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. Ser Criston wipes the sweat from his brow. 
“I am afraid not, princess,” he informs you, “the Queen would not be pleased.”
Though his tone is polite, there is no sympathy in the words. You purse your lips in disappointment. 
“Ah yes.. I wonder, Uncle, if you would be so kind as to show me the library? It must have been greatly updated since I have seen it last,” you ask, smiling sweetly. Aemond sheaths his sword. 
“Of course,” he says, offering his arm. You loop your arm through his, eagerly leading him from the training yard. 
“I have missed you,” you tell him earnestly, a pink blush dusting the top of your cheeks.
“Hm,” Aemond says in response, a smile making its way onto his face. He attempts to keep his pulse at a reasonable pace, but he cannot help himself from staring at you, trying to memorize your face after years of not seeing you. You bump him playfully.
“I suppose I have missed you as well,” he teases, leading you into the castle. You spend the rest of the afternoon and late into the evening together. Only when the candles are spent do you finally tear yourselves away from each other, retiring to your chambers. 
Your grandsire insists on dinner together with the whole family. You sit next to Luke, taking generous sips from your cup of wine, trying to ease your nerves. Your mother gives you a small smile. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“If you ever wish to know what it is to be well satisfied, you know where to find me,” Aegon whispers to Baela, pouring a drink, “the offer extends to you as well, niece.” Your stomach lurches, but you attempt to brush Aegon’s comment off, rolling your eyes. 
Both Jace and Aemond rise from their seats at Aegon’s comment, as you take a sip from your cup. As toasts are made and your grandsire is escorted from the hall, tensions rise again. 
You flinch as Aemond makes a toast, the word strong lingering in the air. He freely calls your brothers bastards, and you by default. Your features match Jace and Luke. 
You stand as Jace punches Aemond, who only smirks in response pushing your brother to the floor. 
“Really?” you say to Aemond, exasperated by the constant fighting. You pry Aegon’s fingers from Luke’s neck, pushing him away from your younger sibling. The evening has turned sour, quickly.
“I fear you are destined to leave me,” Aemond murmurs. You smile sadly, dressed in your riding leathers prepared to saddle Pyraxes in the dragonpit. 
“Mother intends to return,” you tell him, “I am not a child anymore. Let me see my siblings to Dragonstone and then I shall join her, on dragonback. She shall need someone here with her.”
Aemond smiles at you, admiring the soft look on your face. 
“I would greatly enjoy that,” he admits. He thought often of proposing to his mother a marriage between himself and you, to ease the tensions between the blacks and the greens. Aemond entertained the idea of you as his wife often. You plagued every thought he had, every dream. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The promise of war looms. You follow Luke to Storm’s End on Pyraxes at your mother’s request. The rain pours as you land in the courtyard, easing off of your mount. Lightning fills the sky, and thunder booms shaking the ground you stand on. 
Not thunder, but a roar, you realize, eyes widening as Vhagar rears her head from the distance. 
Aemond has beaten you there. 
You enter the Round Hall and cannot take your eyes from Aemond, who stands next to one of Lord Borros’ daughters. The prettiest one, your mind taunts. A bitter taste gathers in your mouth as Lord Borros explains the betrothal. 
Aemond studies your expression, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk. 
“I am not free to marry, my lord,” Luke explains. Aemond’s smirk grows, triumphantly. Your cheeks redden with your fury.
“Go home pups,” Lord Borros calls, and you clasp Luke’s shoulder turning to leave from the hall.
“Wait, niece,” he calls, causing you to turn, “my lord Strong. You really think you could fly about the realm, trying to steal my brother’s throne at no cost?”
“The usurper’s crown, you mean,” you hiss, your anger slipping through. Aemond’s functioning eye narrows. 
“I will not fight you. We came as messengers, not warriors.” Luke says, chin held high.
“Fight would be a little challenge. No, I want you to put out your eye,” Aemond says, removing his eye patch and revealing his sapphire eye. 
“As payment for mine. One would serve,” he continues, throwing his dagger towards you and Luke. The blade clatters against the stone floor. “I would not blind you. Plan to make a gift of it to my mother.”
“No,” Luke says, eyes wide with fear. You can feel him trembling beside you.
“Then you are craven as well as a traitor,” Aemond says, a mad glint in his eye. 
You step forward in front of Luke, arms wide.
“Not here.” Lord Borros insists. 
“Give me your eye or I will take it, bastard!” Aemond says, running forward. You make a dash towards the dagger on the floor, picking up the blade and pointing it at your uncle. A wild look appears in his eye, as though he is delighted by the violence.
“You go too far, uncle!” you snap. Aemond stalks towards you. You glance behind you, jerking your head to signal Luke should retreat.
As you turn, Aemond is face to face with you, the blade pushing into his chest. He looks down at you, at the weapon between you. You feel your bottom lip begin to tremble.
“Would you kill me, niece?” he asks, his voice a soft caress as though addressing a lover, not an enemy. 
“You insult my brothers so freely, yet have always spared me from your vile insults. Why is that uncle? My blood runs the same as theirs,” you spit. You need to distract him. You need to allow Luke to enter the skies. 
Aemond’s mouth twitches. 
“The only traitor I see here is you,” you say, and as the words leave your mouth, Aemond wraps his hand around your wrist. He pushes the dragger towards the sky with ease, pressing his body into you. You can feel the warmth of him against you, his breath fans your face. 
“You play with fire, niece,” he tells you, lip curled in a snarl. You bare your teeth in response. 
“Fire is no threat to a dragon.”
“Enough!” Lord Borros calls, “not in my hall! Escort the princess back to her dragon.”
Aemond releases you, though he seems reluctant to do so. He looks behind you and lets out a frustrated growl. Lucerys has left. You smile triumphantly before leaving the hall. 
Pryraxes waits for you, Arrax has already taken to the skies. No sooner do you mount, you notice Vhagar has disappeared. The rain is pouring and your heart quickens. Find Luke, you think to yourself. Find Luke and bring you both home. 
As you take to the skies you hear Arrax’s call. Urging Pyraxes upwards, you join your brother. The rain cuts at your cheeks like knives and you struggle to keep your eyes open. A cloud covers what little light there is. No, not a cloud.
Vhagar.
You hear your uncle’s laugh, it leaves you more chilled than the frigid rain. He is taunting Luke, Vhagar nearing Arrax at every turn. Luke tries to evade them but Vhagar is a skilled dragon who has seen countless battles. 
Pyraxes screeches in anger, taking off after the quarreling dragons. You shout to her in Valyrian, bringing your hand to her back, desperate to soothe her. Light breaks through the clouds as Arrax shoots fire at Vhagar. The she-dragon is enraged. You hear Aemond shouting, trying to command Vhagar. Pyraxes dives towards Arrax, desperate to get between them. She is so like you, always the peacemaker, always the defender. 
You try to pull her saddle. There is no way she shall stop this fight, but Pyraxes will not listen. She dives between them as Vhagar lets loose a stream of dragon fire. You hear the anguished screams of Luke, of Aemond as the fire consumes you. 
There is nothing but light all around you, as the flames nearly blind you. Orange, red, and yellow blurs your vision, as you feel the flames lick your skin. Though where you should be in agonizing pain, you merely feel the flames as a caress, soft as velvet across your skin. 
Vhagar stops and Pyraxes dives towards the ground, crashing into a nearby field. The landing is bumpy, and she screams out a panicked call, feeling the fear and surprise that runs through you. Luke lands Arrax nearby, as Aemond does with Vhagar. 
The ground shakes as you roll off Pyraxes, collapsing to the ground. 
“Sister!” Luke’s call is desperate as he rushes over to you, but Aemond is quicker, by your side in an instant. His heart aches, expecting to find nothing but charred remains. He tears his jacket from his body, draping it over your naked form. He crouches to your side, gently pulling you towards him. 
You look up at him, dark eyes wide, hair matted from the rain and sweat that covers you. A dazed expression is on your face. 
“Seven hells,” Luke says, staring at you in wonder. 
Aemond’s eye scans the entirety of your form, not an inch of you goes uninspected as he searches for signs of injury. 
“You should be dead,” Aemond says, in a rough, soft, whisper, “you could have died.”
Pyraxes lets out a screech, seemingly agreeing with Aemond about the fate of her rider. Aemond feels nothing but relief as you are here, unburnt in his arms. He can see the blood in your cheeks. Somehow, someway you are gloriously alive. The threat of war seems far away in that moment as he holds you in his arms. Your face breaks out in a deranged grin, causing Aemond’s heart to skip a beat. 
“Fire cannot kill a dragon.”
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baldurs-writers-3 · 3 months ago
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Astarion: A Baldur's Gate 3 Fanfic Rec List
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This week, we have Astarion Centric fics! Check under the cut for a whopping seventeen fics all about our favorite vampire spawn, and as always, give them a comment and kudos if you like them!
The stars began to burn by peregrinefeathers (87k, Mature) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Gale
An AU where instead of having an orb lodged in his chest Gale got stuck in a book. Then when a vampire spawn opened that book he got stuck in that vampire spawn's head. This is the best thing that has ever happened to Astarion; within 15 minutes he's running out of the Szarr palace into the sunlight. Then adventures begin!
Reccer says: a slow burn, like bloodweave is obvious endgame but it takes a while to get there, and Astarion is written /so/ well
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Uncrossed Lines by Asidian (1209, Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion & Wyll, Astarion & Halsin, Astarion & Karlach
Friends don't let friends get hurt and/or pressured into doing things they don't want to do
Reccer says: Just an incredibly sweet depiction of people recognizing Astarion's boundaries and helping to enforce them, whether he's expecting them to or not. I love it
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Hydnellum Peckii by OctolingO (4403, General) Warnings: talks of Astarion's past but no gruesome details Pairings: none
Astarion is doing a great job hiding what he is from the party, until they reach the Underdark and he has nothing to feed on.
Reccer says: this is so angsty! i loved Gale being too curious for his own good and trying to help and be supportive, and all of Astarion's fears of getting kicked out or killed, bc nobody could ever be in his corner, and having anyone in a position of power apologizing *to him* like that's so foreign - this gave me so many feels!
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caught between the dark and the dreaming by Raayide (18925, Teen) Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Pairings: Astarion & Friends
Marcus wants answers, and no one is going to give them to him, unless he forces them to. Astarion is the unlucky target forced to drink a truth serum.
Reccer says: Absolutely delicious whump and found family comfort afterwards
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of death potential and death absolute by Raayide (39119, Teen) Warnings: Derealization Pairings: Astarion & Gale, pre-relationship
Astarion is never quite sure, until the moment Cazador lies dead before him, whether this entire adventure is anything more than an extremely vivid hallucination.
Reccer says: this story takes Astarion and twists him up into a little heartbreaking ball of a premise that makes him think everything is just a dream, and how desperate he is to stay in the dream rather than waking up. it retells most of the game with a tight focus and some lovely lovely characters scenes, everyone gets a moment in the spotlight!
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Those left behind by Gally (73949, Mature) Warnings: None Pairings: Past Astarion/Karlach
What's Astarion to do after the Absolute is destroyed and the love of his life is now dead?
Reccer says: Lots of funny. Lots of sad. Lots of excellent characterization and slow but steady healing
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All it Cost Me by HydieMurderBabe (38529, Explicit) Warnings: Ite explicit, very raunchy and Durge elements of rougher kinds Pairings: Durge X Astarion
Two traumatized nubbins heal from their pasts. Lots of sex and violence ensues.
Reccer says: Its funny, its raunchy, its detailed and most of all I feel like Im invested in the pairing
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Collision Course by VakarianSyndrome (123444, Explicit) Warnings: No warnings. Tropes: Modern Girl in Baldur's Gate, found family Pairings: Astarion/F!OC
Set in Baldur’s Gate, this series follows Adelaide, a human woman from Earth, and her somewhat clumsy attempts at navigating this new and fantastical realm. In the process, she falls for Astarion, the pale elf, vampire spawn with level 100 rizz.
Reccer says: It starts out really funny, but then gradually gets serious where needed. The buildup between Astarion and the OC is spicy and sweet, and the smut delivers! And it's completed!
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No Good End in View by not_whelmed_yet (60,797, ongoing, Mature) Warnings: Character death (temporary), torture Pairings: Astarion/Wyll/Karlach
Astarion doesn't get time to be terrified of the party, because Wyll cuts off what he sees as a feral vampire spawn's head long before he can try to seduce them. The only problem is that this doesn't kill him. And it continues to not kill him.
Reccer says: this is an achingly beautiful exploration of a team that gets off not so much on the wrong foot but on a freefall - each doing horrible things to each other in ways that all read perfectly understandable from their point of views, but have wretched lasting consequences. the author writes them so in character that I want to throttle them and fall in love all over again
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What Could Have Been by Bella1433 (70000, Explicit) Warnings: There is mention of past sexual trauma, its Explicit, and goes into dark territory but not dead dove. Pairings: Named Tav X Astarion
Astarion's transformation into a vampire lord and Sima's fight to reclaim their lost love thrust them into a perilous dance of power, obsession, and redemption.
Reccer says: Its dark, rich, has a different tone and some of the most immersive writing I've read
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the ghost of elturel by Raayide (4452, General) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion and Zevlor
Astarion and Zevlor meet, talk, hate each other, and hate themselves. There is nothing particularly of note about any of it.
Reccer says: Recognition of self in the other tied with some amazing introspection and metaphor
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Circus of the dead by Ineadhyn (5995, Explicit) Warnings: Rape/Non-con, graphic violence, self-harm Pairings:
A dark horror circus AU with Astarion, Cazador, and his other spawns.
Reccer says: This is so beautiful, tragic, gripping, and I'm utterly obsessed with everything about it.
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No Good Deeds by Garnett Gibson (39715, Explicit) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Tav
A young woman trying to be a good person gets corrupted by Astarion as they navigate the tadpole issue.
Reccer says: Delicious slow burn and creative deviations from canon.
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The Lord and his new ways by FartasticDurge (26459, Explicit) Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Coercion, Manipulation, Abusive Relationships, Dissociation Pairings: Astarion/Tav
Ascended Astarion and Spawn Tav's post-game turbulent relationship from Tav's POV.
Reccer says: She struggles between doing what she thinks is right and obeying him, and seeing her process is interesting. In the latest chapter, they go to therapy, a unique twist for Ascended Astarion.
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In Time by FartasticDurge (16927, Explicit) Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Pairings: Astarion/Tav, Astarion & Gale
Post-canon fic where Astarion is looking for a Tav who died and reincarnated into another person. Gale helps him find her, but things take an unexpected turn when they find her.
Reccer says: Astarion POV, a lot of D&D lore, the friendship between Gale and Astarion is interesting and supportive. Tav and Astarion's roles are reversed; he is being nice and she is suspicious of him, which is a nice twist with funny moments.
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How Far You've Come by Garnett Gibson (5481, Explicit) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Tav
Astarion's obedient consort has come a long way, but sometimes she still steps out of line.
Reccer says: I liked it!
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If Only For One Night by Terrormisu (682, Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Tav
With their party always busy, Astarion finds himself longing for his little love.
Reccer says: It's a short sweet one shot that made me feel all warm and squishy inside. Hehe. But even the implied intimacy was steamy.
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The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ!
Next week, we’ll be back with another character rec list, this time focusing on Family!
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redgoldsparks · 2 months ago
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August Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe
I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.
Heavyweight: A Family Story of Holocaust, Empire and Memory by Solomon J Brager After listening to this excellent interview with the author on the Gender Reveal podcast, I was very excited to pick up Solomon Brager's hefty nonfiction comic about family history, Jewish identity, the Holocaust, and empire. This is an incredibly well researched and thoughtful book. The author grew up with outsized family stories of a Jewish boxing champion great-grandfather from Essen who punched Nazis, and a great-grandmother who carried her children across countries and mountains to escape to the US. But these stories became much more complicated when the author started digging for receipts. One factor is the immense financial privilege of the family which already had bank accounts and significant savings in New York. Another factor is the layers of violence and empire that build up the power of the countries fighting on both sides of WWII. The author's quest to research the family story is a major thread in the story itself and I am absolutely awed by the amount of work that went into uncovering and shaping this story.
My Dearest Patrolman vol 1 by Niyama As a delinquent teen, Shin was mentored and protected by a friendly patrolman, Seiji. Having one supportive adult in his life completely turned Shin's life around and he also decided to become a patrolman. Years later, Shin and Seiji meet again, and Shin decides to confess the feelings he's been nursing for a decade. Lighthearted dating hijinks ensue! Strikes a nice balance between silly, sweet, and spicy.
Go For It, Nakamura! by Syundei An extremely silly and cute high school rom-com. Shy Nakamura has a massive crush on his classmate Hirose. Despite the fact that they see each other every day, Nakamura has never introduced himself. What will it take to get him to finally speak up and try to befriend his crush??
Something Not Nothing by Sarah Leavitt In 2020, Sarah Leavitt's partner of more than 20 years, Domino, died with medical assistance after years of severe chronic pain and a rapid decline at the end of her life. Leavitt, a cartoonist and writer, tried to make sense of this decision through comics and abstract watercolor paintings. The result is a gorgeous, heart wrenching, deeply human meditation on love and loss. There were pages that lifted my spirits and pages that pierced me to my core. I sobbed through the majority of reading it, but couldn't put it down. Leavitt's mapmaking of the landscape of grief is a gift to us all.
Assassin's Fate by Robin Hobb read by Elliot Hill What can I even say about this, the final novel of a 16 book fantasy series, which I have been reading and re-reading now for twenty years, other than holy shit??? I can't believe I've reached the end of Fitz's journey at last. This book is SO long (nearly 1000 pages) and much of it is brutal to read; characters we love are beaten, abused, tortured, and left in pretty hopeless situations for much of the novel. I think Hobb's insistence on revisiting almost every single character from the Rain Wilds and Live Ship sub-series expanded the first third of the book more than needed; had I been editing it, it would have been shorter. And yet! And yet! I was riveted by this too-long book, devouring it in big gulps, scream-texting about it to several friends who were reading the series along with me. The ending hit SO HARD. Its PERFECT, TERRIBLE, WRETCHED, one of the cruelest endings for several beloved characters and while also giving them a kind of grace and eternity I did not see coming, but should have. This book fulfills the themes of the entire series so well, completing repeated patterns, showing cycles that ripple through three generations, while also leaving a door open for the future that I'm already daydreaming about. Literally how did Robin Hobb come up with all of this. Its flawed but its perfect. I am in awe.
BL Metamorphosis vol 1 by Kaori Tsurutani translated by Jocelyne Allen An older woman picks up a BL manga by chance at a bookstore and discovers a new fandom late in life. She ends up befriending a shy high school girl who works at the bookstore and also loves BL, but has no one to talk to about it. This is such a freaking cute premise and I love the loose sketchy art style!
BL Metamorphosis vol 2 by Kaori Tsurutani translated by Jocelyne Allen Unlikely friends Urara, a shy high schooler, and Ichinoi, a widowed calligraphy teacher, bonded over their love of a BL manga series. Now they're heading to a doujinshi event to try and meet their favorite author. This brought me right back to my early days of visiting cons and meeting authors for the first time!
BL Metamorphosis vol 3 by Kaori Tsurutani translated by Jocelyne Allen Urara has been reading and loving BL manga years, but it takes a push from her older friend Ichinoi before Urara considers the idea of possibly drawing her own. Can she find the time to write and draw a story around her cram school schedule? This series PERFECTLY captures the BL reader to BL writer pipeline, I'm so charmed.
BL Metamorphosis vol 4 by Kaori Tsurutani translated by Jocelyne Allen Urara applies for a table at a comics festival, so now she has a deadline for her first original comic. Can she get it done in time? Ichinoi is there to cheer lead and support in every way she can (finding a printer, sewing a table cloth, agreeing to work the table, packing their lunches) but only Urara can get the comic done. This book contained one of my very favorite exchanges of the whole series, when Ichinoi asked "Is it fun to draw manga?" and Urara responded honestly, "No. It's hard to look at my own art for so long. But it feels like I'm doing what I should be doing."
BL Metamorphosis vol 5 by Kaori Tsurutani translated by Jocelyne Allen Urara and Ichinoi struggle through a long, slow day of trying to sell an original comic at their first ever comic event. Unbeknownst to them, their favorite author is there as an attendee. This book felt like one of the most relatable portrayals of the early days of a comics career I've ever seen. I'm obsessed with this series and definitely want to watch the live action movie adaptation!
The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez This complex fantasy novel weaves together a multi-strand narrative of violence, love, and the end of empire in an original world of old gods and talking animals. In the main thread, two warriors carry the corpse of an almost-dead goddess across the country in a five day dash from the mountains to the sea. The goddess was once the Moon, torn out of the sky by her own desire for immortality. Her children became the despotic Moon Throne, a cruel dynasty which has repressed and punished the people and elements. The Moon Thrones' heirs, three brothers with extraordinary powers, chase the warriors and hunger for the last dregs of the fallen Moon's power. In another thread, an unnamed protagonist watches this drama unfold as a play being performed in a dreamy underwater sleep realm, while recalling the stories their lola told of the old country before the war. This novel is often compared with NK Jemisin's The Fifth Season in terms of scope, literary prose, and ambition and I can see why. This novel employs some very creative and unusual writing choices that make it more rewarding to read in print than to experience in audio. I had a content warning for gore and cannibalism going in, so I was prepared for the violence of the middle section. I really enjoyed this novel and I can tell I'll be thinking about it for a long time.
Horse by Geraldine Brooks read by James Fouhey, Lisa Flanagan, Graham Halstead, Katherine Littrell, Michael Obiora This book follows multiple different story lines, some of which captured me much more than others. In Kentucky in 1850, an enslaved black boy watches a new thoroughbred racing colt's birth and begins a lifelong relationship with the horse, who will go on to be one of the most well-known champions in the history of American horse racing. In New York City in the 1950s, a gallery owner known for her modern tastes falls for an equestrian portrait of the great Kentucky race horse, Lexington. And in 2019, in Washington DC, a Nigerian-American art history student and a Smithsonian scientist dig into the mystery of an unlabelled horse skeleton in the museum's collection- and its possible connection with several paintings by a Civil War era equestrian artist. I admired the amount of research that went into this novel, and the way the paintings of Lexington tied the different timelines together. However, I really struggled with how the interior emotional lives of several of the Black male characters in this book were portrayed by this author. When Jarret, the enslaved Black groom, is separated from Lexington and forced into plantation labor temporarily, Brooks writes of him gaining a depth of spirit and understanding for the human condition from this experience. This felt deeply weird to read from a white author! I'm not really the right reader to say whether Brooks did a good job or not, but it put me on edge. When the final climatic moment of the novel read like a heavy-handed lesson in how Black men are still at risk of police violence even in 2019, I wondered who exactly that point was supposed to be for, and if Brooks is the one who needed to make it. So, I felt very mixed as I finished this book. There's a lot to admire craft-wise, and I can understand why so many readers were impressed by it. But I honestly I don't recommend it, unless you want to read it in a book club setting and have a nuanced discussion about what works and what doesn't in this novel.
The Summer Book by Tove Jansson A young girl named Sophie spends her summers on an island of the coast of Finland with her very present grandmother and her rather absent father. Each chapter tells of an incident experienced through the eyes of the very young and the very old- the growth of mosses and wildflowers on the island stones; boxes and bottles of flotsam and jetsam washing to shore; a great storm; an adventure in trespassing; an unexpected visitor; a night spent outside sleeping in a tent. Without much of an overarching plot this book is still a moving picture of living very close to and in tune with the seasons and elements in a very specific part of the world. It's brief and open ended but I really enjoyed it!
Delicious in Dungeon vol 14 by Ryoko Kui As the smoke clears after the explosive ending of the previous penultimate volume, our heroes gather themselves, check on the survivors, and set out on the most collaborative challenge: cooking and eating an entire chimera body. This is a satisfying and in some ways gentler ending than I expected from this series, but I really enjoyed it!
Notes from an Island by Tove Jansson and Tuulikki Pietilä translated by Thomas Teal  In the autumn of 1963, Tove Jansson, her partner Tuulikki 'Tooti' Pietilä, and their taciturn friend Brunström set about trying to finish a small cabin on a tiny Finnish island before the onset of winter (and possible legal delays of building permits). Tove and Tooti spent their summers on the island for the next 3o years. This book contains excerpts of journal and introspective writing on the nature of the island, the sea, the changeable weather, the futility of human efforts to shift the natural environment. These writings are paired with delicate prints Tooti made of water, stones, and ocean views. I read this directly after The Summer Book and after listening to a short biography of Jansson- this made a good companion to those other texts, but might have been a bit spare on its own.
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loviatarsluv · 3 months ago
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chapter ii. cracked ceilings
pairing: Gale x f!tav (my own oc, Elara)
(takes place mostly after the events of the game with some flashbacks sprinkled throughout)
rating: mature
CW: strong language, slight se*ual harassment (just a drunken oaf making nasty comments), blood/injury, light violence, angst
in summary: After the fall of the brain, and her home having been destroyed in the chaos, Gale offers Elara sanctuary with him back in Waterdeep. She struggles to deal with the feelings she has been harboring for him and the guilt that she’d been the one to prevent either of them from taking the relationship any further a few months prior. Yearning and pining ensues
a/n: thank you to those who were so sweet about the first chapter, it really means so much to me 🥹 i hope you enjoy this one just as much ��︎
word count: 6.8k
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ii.
She had finally begun to understand why they called Waterdeep ‘the city of splendors’. 
Since coming to stay with Gale, Elara hadn’t left the tower much. A part of her feared running into any further trouble when she’d just experienced more chaos and turmoil than most would in their entire lives, especially now being known as The Hero of Baldur’s Gate. Despite being here rather than back home, she knew word had likely spread as far as Neverwinter by now. 
Gale had been incredibly patient with her, despite his desire to show her around his beloved city. She was boundlessly grateful for that fact despite her guilt for becoming a hermit when he was likely just happy to be home and wanted to enjoy it in its entirety.
She would tell him not to hold back on her account and to do all that he desired with his newfound freedom from the fear of the orb within himself, and that she would be fine right where she was. But she could see in his eyes that he wanted company. Her company. 
So, this time, she relented. A simple trip to the market surely couldn’t hurt, right? 
She caught the end of a familiar tune as she approached the large open window in her bedroom— a song that she remembered her mother humming absently throughout the day, and then singing to her before bed. One of the last vivid memories she had left of her. 
Elara hoped maybe they would pass the bard on their way to the market so she could toss them a few gold pieces. 
She gazed out over the expanse of the ocean and hummed along to the song until its eventual end, smiling somberly to herself. 
She glanced at herself in the mirror and tried to remember her mother’s face— tried to imagine her own face, just older, but with bright blue eyes rather than dull brown, her hair long, pin straight and black instead of untamable, wavy, and garishly bright. 
No. If there was one thing she recalled about her mother, it was that she had the sort of beauty that words couldn’t describe. The kind that scribes and bards scribbled poetry about and sang ridiculous ballads for. 
A far cry from how she viewed herself, certainly. 
Her long azure waves flowed down her back, partially braided back near the crown of her head to keep some of it out of her eyes. Shadowheart had taught her a few hairstyles to manage and tame her hair, but most of the time she just couldn’t be arsed to put in the effort. 
She dusted off some of the robes Astarion ‘purchased’ for her while they were in the Lower City, muttering something about how she desperately needed a wardrobe change. A gift wrapped in a backhanded remark, as could always be expected of Astarion. She smiles at the memory, now suddenly missing him and all of his mischief and hoping he was doing well. 
Perhaps she could pay them a visit soon. 
The robes were rather lovely— a deep cerulean mixed with accented gold metal clasps and brown leather, the length of it just right so that it doesn’t drag the floor. It suited her well. Astarion really did have a good eye, unsurprisingly. Perhaps in another life he was a tailor. 
She takes one last long look at herself in the mirror, the anxiety evident in her eyes as well as the dark circles under them. She’d barely gotten a wink of rest as her mind turned over every possibility of what could happen the moment she steps foot outside of this tower. 
Nothing that made any sense or seemed feasible— but then again, a year ago, the thought of a mindflayer invasion seemed like a fever dream. 
Now was not the time for what if’s. All would be well. She would have a nice outing with her good friend. 
Great friend.
Friend.
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Gale had mastered the art of keeping himself occupied. 
He somehow always had something he could be working on or a book he could be reading or a subject he could study further, especially in times when his mind required redirection.
Or distraction, rather.
Spending an entire year in solitude with only yourself, your books, and four walls to keep you company teaches you many things about yourself. 
Spending months surrounded by who very likely could be the love of your life without the ability to act on that feeling also teaches you many things about yourself. 
There had been many days spent holed up in his library, trying all that he could to keep his mind off of anything other than her and her eyes (one a deep, rich brown and the other a much lighter, honey-like shade) and her dazzling smile that made him feel like if the orb were still present in his chest, he would be at risk of implosion just at the sight of it. 
Now, to have a proper outing that would finally be just the two of them after months of dropping hints— he was feeling quite restless. 
So much so, that he basically leaps to his feet at the sound of her footsteps bounding down the stairs, standing quickly and straightening his clothes before she appears from the staircase, adjusting himself and ensuring nothing was askew or out of place. He smooths his hair, tucking a strand behind his ear and adjusts his sleeves just before she emerges, his heart skipping a beat as he sees her.  
He had to remind himself many times that this excursion was nothing more than a quick trip to the market— but it did little to quell the sweat beads rising in his palm and the buzzing in his stomach. 
He hadn’t spent a lot of time with her that felt like they were both choosing each other’s company. It almost always felt like they just happened to end up in the same room as each other by chance, or if they did, it was merely to complete a task. To do research, to eat breakfast or dinner, to exchange notes.
If it were up to him, he would remain at her side every moment that her eyes were open and if he were allowed, even those when they were closed. 
He was only waiting for the right moment, or any sort of notion that she had perhaps changed her mind— then, he would— well, do something.
Uncharacteristically enough for him, he hadn’t really thought that far yet. 
Now may be an apt time to start, though.
“Sorry I took so long, I had to make sure I had everything so we can stock up and last us a little longer.” She says with a huff, gesturing to the two wicker baskets draped over her arms. 
He stares at her for longer than was necessary, mouth slightly agape as he took in the sight of her. It wasn’t unusual for her to look anything short of breathtaking, but this had been the most put together he’d seen her since bringing her back to Waterdeep. She looked—
“Radiant,” he mutters, not realizing the word hadn’t remained only in his mind. 
She smirks at him awkwardly, looking down at herself. “What did you say?” 
He shakes his head, clearing his throat. “I said— I just meant— you look lovely today.” 
She chuckles, averting her gaze sheepishly. “Funny.” 
“Not at all. I meant it, Elara. You look… you are radiant.” He says, his voice low and reverent, as if he were admiring a painting hung in a gallery. 
A blush rises to her cheeks as she tries to fight off what would probably have been the widest she’d ever smiled in her life. “Oh… well, thank you, Gale. You look… dashing. As always.” She replies, the dimples in her cheeks visible as she grins shyly. 
“Why, thank you, my lady,” he says with a bow, then holds his hand out as an invitation for hers. She timidly places her hand in his, and he presses a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “Shall we?” 
She’s taken aback by the gesture, her already intense blush only becoming ever more prominent and persistent, the heat in her cheeks beginning to feel as though she may burn up before they even make it outside. 
She nods slowly, then follows his lead out the door, her hand lingering in his until they reach the front door steps. She takes a few steps ahead of him and attempts to steady her breathing, as he quickly casts Arcane Lock on the door before rejoining her.
Everything seemed to come alive with a brand new vigor— the streets were full again, the sounds of children running and playing as well as the Waterdhavian locals just existing and enjoying the sunshine for the first time in months echoed off the sides of the stone buildings that lined the streets. The faint melodic strumming of a lyre could be heard not too far from the Dekarios residence, as a bard occupied a spot just outside one of the nearby taverns and busked for coins throughout the day. 
They walk side by side in silence for a little while, both of them happily drinking in the sights surrounding them. Gale points out places and bits of interest as they walk, telling her stories of his life growing up on these very streets. 
She listens to him, but her mind fills any empty gaps with his voice echoing in her mind again and again. 
You are radiant. 
Gale was not averse to a bit of flattery, it wasn’t an uncommon behavior for him to compliment her or offer her or anyone else a kind word when it seemed they needed it, and even times when they didn’t.
But something about the phrasing of it struck her. Almost in a way that nearly made her believe it. If Gale Dekarios thought she was radiant, then by the gods, she must be. 
No one had ever seemed to look at her twice before in her life— none had ever seen her in that light or verbalized such a thing to her before. Not like that.
But Gale— gods, she’d write it in the stars if she could. She would paint the night sky with each syllable in only the most dazzling of stars, the brightest she could find— so that every night she could remember the way it sounded dripping from his tongue like honey. 
A single word had never filled her entire body with a warmth that the sun’s rays could never provide.
Radiant.
“I’m not sure if I’ve asked you yet, but how have you enjoyed Waterdeep thus far? Despite not having seen much of it yet,” He asks, slowing his pace slightly to accommodate her, her legs being shorter than his so her shorter strides made her fall behind. 
He had asked, a few times. But that was months ago when it was all still new. Plus— her answer had changed considerably since the last time he asked. 
“Hush, you,” She pushes his shoulder playfully, a soft melodic giggle following. Gale’s heart flutters. 
“Not to worry. We are remedying that from this day forward. By the time we’re done, you’ll never want to go back to Baldur’s Gate, I guarantee it.” He says proudly, a dash of hope in his eyes as he does. 
“I don’t know. Does Waterdeep get invaded by tentacled monsters and completely ravaged by cultists and corrupt politicians and their armies regularly? Might not be my speed,” she teases. 
“It is not without its strange happenings, I can assure you. Nothing quite so severe, I am regretful to say.” 
“A shame.” 
They smile at each other for the length of the lull in conversation, their banter bringing memories of their adventuring days back to the forefront. The gleam in Gale’s eye causes her to look away as if she’d looked at the sun for too long. 
After a beat, Gale continues. “But, there is nothing quite like witnessing the changing of the seasons in Waterdeep. I’m happy to provide that experience for you, at long last.” He replies, punctuating it with a wink. 
She rolls her eyes and bumps her shoulder to his, averting her gaze to the cobblestone beneath her feet as they continue to walk. “Thank you, for that, by the way. For… letting me stay with you. I know it’s not ideal. I’m sure you would’ve liked to enjoy some peace and quiet in your home after everything… and I don’t know if I have properly thanked you for allowing me to stay with you, so,” she rambles, the heat in her cheeks only increasing. 
He places a soothing hand on her arm, his fingertips featherlight as he slowly runs them along the length of her bicep before returning to his side. 
“After a year of complete solitude outside of my cat and hundreds of books whose pages I am all too familiar with, your company is more than wonderful and most welcome. No thanks necessary.” 
When she meets his eyes, the warm and mirthful smile that greets her nearly turns her legs to jelly, but she would happily melt under the sunshine that was his gaze. 
Before she can attempt to craft a response to him, a commotion is heard ahead, and both of their attention snaps to it.
A crowd has begun to form near the front of the nearby tavern, and not a single intelligible word could be made out of the raucous whooping within the crowd of presumably day drunk patrons and bystanders craning their necks to watch whatever was taking place at the center of it. She furrows her brows, shooting Gale an inquisitive glance.
She watches closely for a moment before she feels Gale’s guiding hand on her back, urging her to go in a different direction, any other direction. 
“Come, let’s push on. There is no shortage of drunken tomfoolery around here, it’s nothing to concern ourselves with. Besides, Tara will be waiting for us, and trust me when I say she is not the most pleasant when she’s been kept waiting,” he says, his voice low next to her ear. It was a throwaway excuse to pull her away from the ruckus and to safety to avoid potentially getting swept into a hysteria she needn’t get swept into. 
If her mind hadn’t been so preoccupied by whatever was happening in front of them, she’d have been blushing furiously at the position of his hand, just above the small of her back. Something to try not to think too much about later. 
Her eyes flick to him for an instant before she hears what sounded like a lyre being smashed against the side of the bricked building. Her head snaps in that direction, and the crowd parts in just the right way for her to see a young tiefling crumpled to the ground with his face in his hands, and an older human man above mocking him, gripping part of the smashed instrument in one of his fists. 
Her face twists to a deep grimace, and before she can stop herself her feet are carrying her forward, her pace quickening. Gale calls to her from behind, his voice distant and nearly inaudible over the loud pounding and drumming of her heart in her ears. 
The crowd has begun to disperse only slightly, but a handful of people still linger and are either cheering on the older man or encouraging the tiefling to stand and fight. The tiefling’s shoulders shake and tremble as he cowers away from the inebriated brute towering over him bellowing nonsense.
The man stands above what she can now see is merely a child, no older than thirteen, shouting taunts of profanity and cruelty that she tries her hardest to disregard before the lightning crackling in her palm can (very easily) send him onto his ass. 
She calms herself as she shoves her way through the crowd, taking a breath before she approaches the child and kneels before him.
“Hello,” she says, her voice soft so as to not startle him. She places a gentle hand on his arm, coaxing him into looking up at her. “Are you okay?” 
Before he can respond, the booming of the perpetrator’s slurred mockery echoing throughout the small alleyway interrupts them both. 
“Oi, missy! Careful, the little foulblood’ll snatch yer coin purse when ye ain’t lookin’!” 
The tiefling peers at her with desperate eyes, his flickering flame-like yellow irises beginning to gloss over again as new sobs begin to wrack through his fragile looking body. “I didn’t— I swear, I didn’t do a-anything!” 
She searches his face for any sign of deceit, noticing the faint scar that ran along his cheek from his eye to the corner of his lip that looked like it had only healed somewhat recently. His body language resembles that of a frightened pup in a cage and his tears seem genuine, so she offers him a reassuring smile. “I believe you.” 
“‘M talkin’ ta ye, missy! Ye got shit for manners too?” The man yells again, the sound of the broken instrument clattering to the ground following it. 
She continues to ignore him, entirely unfazed by his drunken tirade or his hulking size. She’d fought monsters far more intimidating in the last year, he would be quick work if it came to that. 
“‘Ye think yer too good fer ‘vryone, too good ta’ listen when a man talks ta’ ye.” He rants, her last few strings of patience beginning to wear dangerously thin.
“No, I just don’t care to listen to drunken oafs.” She retorts, her tone nonchalant and almost cocky in a way that sets the man over the edge.
The man launches into a blind rage, and she barely has a second to comprehend the situation before she hears a grunt of fury and large hands crash into the side of her body, surely bruising her ribs with the force it took to shove her to the ground, nearly knocking the breath from her lungs. She yelps as stone scrapes across her bare arm and the side of her head collides with the ground. The tiefling jumps backward and out of the line of fire of the older man’s warpath, eyes wide and boring into hers in terror. 
“Elara!” Gale calls out, pushing through the now dense crowd frantically. 
He finally makes it through, and the very second his eyes lock on her as she attempts to sit up, fire burns through his veins and concentrates at the center of his palm.
He notices a small trickle of blood running down the side of her face, one hand clutching her ribs as the other presses over the tender spot where her skull met stone. He’s at her side in an instant, gathering her up into his arms and holding on to her tightly. 
“Are you alright?” He asks her, his voice cracking with concern. 
She bristles, fury flaring within her. Before she can stop herself, her once brown eyes glow blue, the lightning coursing through her burning its way down to her palms. Gale’s eyes widened before scrambling to calm her before causing even more of a scene, despite her ire being well deserved on the drunken man’s end. 
“Not here, Elara. Let me handle this, please.” 
He places a hand on her cheek, his palm catching a drop of warm blood that makes his boil. 
After a moment of contemplation she nods, the anger still evident in her furrowed brow. She glances between him and the child backed against the wall, her main focus still on ensuring his safety. She motions to the child for him to stand with her, and Gale steps in front of them both protectively as he turns to face the drunkard. 
“‘S that yer boyfriend, eh, girly? Wanna know how it feels t’ be with a real man?” The man cackles, stumbling forward as he belly laughs at his own vile taunts. 
Gale’s own composure is slipping as he feels the heat from the fire itching at his fingertips as it begins to emit a faint and crackling orange glow. 
“It may be wise to walk away, friend.” Gale’s voice is threateningly calm, soft with a not-so-hidden edge to it. 
The man balks at the wizard, much smaller in stature than himself yet somehow still intimidating in nature. Likely more so intimidating once he realizes who he was up against. Not intimidating enough not to egg them on, however. 
The man’s yellowed teeth show in a crooked smile. “Aye… I know the two of ye. If it ain’t the cunt of Waterdeep and the so called Hero of Baldur’s Gate. Softened up since the squids left town, have ye?” 
Elara dashes forward before Gale’s arm comes out to stop her, magic surging between both of them like a thunderstorm brewing in the heavens. 
“Piss off, ugly. Lest you leave with a scorched hide.” Elara hisses, pushing against Gale’s arm that served as a barrier between them. 
“Didn’t think th’ mighty Hero of Baldur’s Gate wa’ just a common whore off th’ streets. Funny, that is, innit?” 
Gale’s shoulders tense and his jaw clenches, gritting his teeth to bite back the storm of curses burdening the tip of his tongue. “Walk away. Now.” 
His fingers twitch against the effort it takes not to hurl a fire bolt right at the bastard’s cocky face, but it seemed he wouldn’t have to as the man notices the faint glow of fire in Gale’s palm as well as the lightning crackling in Elara’s and begins to back away, apprehension etching into his weathered and sunburnt features, fear visible in his eyes. 
“You lot ‘re just as uppity as I thought ye’d be,” he mutters as he raises his hands in surrender, then quickly rounds the corner and dashes down the alley without another word, and the wizard relaxes his hand, dispelling the cantrip from his palm. 
The air is still crackling with tension as the three of them try to steady their breathing, Gale in particular finding it difficult as the sight of her on the ground and her sweet face that, prior to this entire encounter, had been adorned with a smile that could stop a charging Minotaur in its tracks, twisted in pain and a gash on her forehead. Not to mention the disgusting comment that foul—
Deep breaths. 
The crowd slowly begins to disperse, some eyeing the two wizards wearily as they begin to back away, some pointing at them and whispering to their counterparts, some recognizing them and some inquiring to who they were or what their significance was. 
Eventually they, too, depart, leaving only two of them and the tiefling who was still cowering behind Elara, gripping the back of her robes as if he would fall through a crack in the ground without her anchoring him. 
Gale spins around and cups Elara’s face gently, his umber eyes teeming with distress and a bit of anger as they scan her face for any further signs of injury or harm. Her eyes still glowed blue despite the situation stabilizing.
“Elara,” Gale whispers soothingly. “It’s over.” 
Her eyes meet his as she blinks a few times, until they return to their natural deep earthy tone, sparkling as water burgeons at the corners. 
Gods, she has the most beautiful eyes. 
“Are you well? Did he hurt you? Is your head okay?” He asks frantically, the words tumbling from his lips in rapid succession as he gently turns her head to check each side of her face. 
She swallows hard and tries not to get lost in the way his strong but elegant hands feel on her burning cheeks as he fusses over her, and places her hand over one of his in an attempt at calming his distraught babbling. 
“I’m okay, I’m okay,” she shushes him, placing her other hand on his arm. “Everything is fine.” 
Gale frowns. “It is most certainly not fine, you hit your head and you are bleeding. We should head back and clean that up, I’ll just run to the market tomorrow—”
“Gale.” She coos, cutting his rambling short. “You act as if you haven’t seen me in much more dire straits. I will live.” 
He stops, his entire body stilling and a heat creeping to his cheeks. Reality washes over him again as he blinks out of his worrisome daze, and realizes his hands still on her cheeks, and her hand over his— oh, hells, her hands are so soft, so warm— and slowly begins to pull away. She nods her head in the direction of the child attached to her hip, reminding him that they had company still. He takes a deep breath and glances around, likely looking to see if he catches a glimpse of that bastard and hoping that he was still within range for him to send a witch bolt his way. He’s unable to hide his disappointment when his search is fruitless. 
The child’s eyes widen when Gale turns once again to face them and sighs deeply, his shoulders sinking low when all of the air exits his lungs, his body seeming to shrink with his posture. He slams his eyes shut tight, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking slow and steady breaths to calm himself. 
“Mystra, give me strength.” He murmurs under his breath.
Elara ignores the disgruntled wizard at her side, leaning down slightly to be closer to the smaller tiefling’s height. 
Elara smiles reassuringly and places her hands on his shoulders. “I’m so sorry about that. Are you okay?” 
The child stares up at her, his eyes darting back and forth between her and the man brooding behind her. 
“He’s with me, it’s alright.” She says, making her best attempt at a soothing and calm tone despite her voice wavering. 
The tiefling’s eyes dart to the wreckage that is left of what was once his instrument, and his frown deepens. “My lyre…” 
She follows his gaze, wincing when she sees the extensive damage. She could tell instantly upon inspection even from a distance that there was no repairing it, and it would simply need to be replaced. She offers him a sympathetic smile and a pat on the shoulder. What was once what appeared to be a beautiful instrument, was now shattered into several jagged pieces, sprawling across the ground around them. She frowns, feeling regretful for its owner but also for herself— an echo of a memory from this morning when she heard her favorite song being strummed by it reverberating in her mind. 
“What’s your name?” She asks him. 
He bounces heel to toe, his hands behind his back timidly. His peach-tinted skin contrasts the dark mop of curls atop his head, with two small horns peeking out of them. He’s quite slender, but still has the tiny bit of pudge that a prepubescent child would have, his cheeks round and youthful. He reminds her of the kids from the Emerald Grove. She smiles sadly, hoping the ones that made it were doing well. 
“Dex.” He says meekly, his face downcast and defeated as if he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 
“It’s nice to meet you, Dex. I’m Elara, and this—” she motions to the man behind her. “is Gale.”
Gale’s attention snaps to her at the sound of his own name, clearly having been mentally elsewhere during the entire exchange. He meets the uncertain gaze of the child, and bows slightly, offering a warm smile. Dex smiles back, a small chuckle leaving his lips at the gesture. 
“Thank you, for helping me. I’m s-sorry you got hurt,” he points to her bloodied forehead and forearm, reminding her of the stinging sensation biting at her nerves shallowly within her skin. Her head was pounding and throbbing, her vision not entirely steady, but she tries her best to disregard it for the moment.
“I think I’ll live. I’m sorry about your lyre.” She says, motioning to the scattered wooden debris and frayed strings. 
He shrugs. “I’ll live.” 
She chuckles, her smile widening. Gale watches her with this unfamiliar child that she had no real reason to be so kind to, other than just out of the boundless kindness of her heart, and feels that warm twinge in his chest he’d grown all too familiar with since she made her grand entrance in his life. He’d seen her with kids many times now, whether it was with the tieflings or with Yenna, but each time his heart skips several beats and the urge to whisk her away and kiss her on the stoop like he’d previously imagined becomes harder and harder to resist.
“Well, Dex. I think you’d best get going home. It’ll be dark before too long and I’m sure your parents will be worried. Hm?” She tries on her best schoolteacher voice, placing her hands on her hips. 
Dex sighs, his entire body shrinking at the mention of his parents. “I don’t want to go home without my lyre… they’ll be furious at me.”
She pauses for a moment, then shoots Gale a pleading glance, hoping he has any bright ideas that could magically fix everything for this poor child. She looked at him as if the child were a lost kitten that she was begging him to let her bring home. 
He looks toward the sky pensively for a moment, appearing as if he were doing calculations in his head, then wordlessly and effortlessly waves his hand in a flourish, whispering an incantation that reassembles the lyre with a purple hued fog of weave. 
Dex’s widened eyes sparkle with glee as each of the fractured pieces of the instrument rejoin as if they’d never been apart to begin with. The lyre floats toward the child, basked in violet and sapphire light, landing gently into his still shaky grasp. Gale smiles and nods at the boy as the light fades, his eyes gleaming with a hint of pride. 
“Weeping bleeding hells! How did you do that?!” He chirps, turning the lyre in his hands and inspecting each and every inch of it in search of any cracks or imperfections, then smiling a wide toothy grin, his pointed teeth peeking over his lips when there is not a single dent or scratch to be found. 
Gale chuckles, then pats the boy on the shoulder. “Stay out of trouble, young man. Hopefully next time we meet will be under better circumstances.” 
She turns to Gale, impressed. “You have got to teach me whatever the hell that was.”
The young tiefling glances back to Elara, the exuberant expression on his face contrasting the tear stains still present on his cheeks. Before she or Gale have any time to react, he throws his body between them, wrapping his tiny arms around the both of them as best as he could manage, and nuzzling his face into Elara’s arm. 
“Thank you! Thank you so much!” He says as he pulls away and turns to leave, glancing over his shoulder and waving to them one last time before scurrying off. 
She watches the boy disappear into the distance, skipping along the cobblestone streets with a childish glee that fills her with a wistful sensation— to be that young and for everything to be so new, for something as simple as a fixed lyre to make her completely forget any hurt or pain that had befallen her. She envies him, silently, as she watches him run home to his parents surely to regale everything that happened to him today, just as she wished she’d been able to every time something exciting happened to her during the day. 
Gale notices her sudden shift in demeanor, then places a hand placatingly on her uninjured arm. 
“Elara?” His voice is gentle and tepid. “Allow me to help you with this,” he says, motioning to the still bleeding cut on her head. “Let’s head back.” 
She sighs, turning to him but unable to muster a genuine smile, still taken by real memories and those that never came to pass. Her lips curl, but her eyes remain glossy and sullen. She nods, the motion small and nearly imperceptible. Without another word, they head back to the tower, her arm never leaving the comfort of Gale’s hand as they walk. 
Something so simple, something that could mean nothing. But to her, it meant everything. 
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The scent of balsam and sandalwood fills the room as Gale’s adept fingers gently dab at the small cut on her forehead, his eyes narrowed and his brows knitted together in deep concentration.
He pestered her until he could coax her into sitting in her favorite spot on the chaise where he could tend to her, much to her protest.
Stubborn wizard, she grunted as he gently guided her to sit. He did not regard any of her disgruntled murmurs, nor her insistence that she was fine and not to worry. 
Just as she’d helped that boy on the street, he felt the least he could do is take gentle care of her the way she would anyone else. He recalled noticing her attempting to heal herself or patch her own wounds when no one was looking while they were on the road, before eventually having to ask Shadowheart for a quick healing spell, much to her dismay. Had she always had to pick herself up? Had no one ever swept in and dusted her off when she fell before? 
He would. From now forward. Even if it were something as small and simple as rubbing balsam on her wounds, however small, and wrapping it with the softest cloth he could find. He would be that for her. He would be anything for her, should she ask. 
It wasn’t lost on him how intimate of a gesture it was, to treat another’s wounds, either— he couldn’t deny that he simply just wanted to care for her in a way that felt deeper than just cooking for her and providing a bed for her to sleep in. 
“That was incredibly admirable of you, back there. Stepping in like that. That boy won’t soon forget what you’ve done for him.” He says, his tone reverent and almost thankful on the child’s behalf.
She smiles a soft smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. 
“Guess the hero gig is one I haven’t quite given up on,” she half-jokes. “He seemed like a sweet kid. And I would hope someone would do the same if it were me, in his shoes.” 
She says it, but she realizes that Gale sort of had done the same for her, many times— especially the way he stepped in and deescalated the situation today. The way he stood in front of them protectively, blocking them with his body as if he were willing and ready to take whatever blows were aimed at them in their place. 
“He’ll remember you, too,” she continues, her breath slightly catching as he rubs balsam on the still raw and tender spot just above her eyebrow, and wincing as the fabric of the cloth brushes against the raised skin. “You saved him twice, in a way. Saved him from a drunkard and an angry lecture from his parents.” 
He chuckles, shaking his head causing a stray strand of hair to fall into his eyes as he does. “I suppose so. You took care of all the heavy lifting, though. I just helped with the clean up.” 
She fights herself and her need to push that hair out of his eyes. Would that be too intimate? Would that push things too far? 
Her eyes lock on the strand as she speaks. “You did your own heavy lifting, for my sake. Thank you. For stepping in. And for this,” her eyes dart up to his wrist, just as he finishes. “Even though you didn’t have to.” 
He places the soiled cloth aside then sits back slightly, where he was still able to see every detail of her face as clearly as he could see his own in a mirror when he was close enough, and eyes her for a moment, a smile ghosting on the edges of his lips. 
“To do something for someone doesn’t always have to be borne of necessity or desire for reciprocity. I wanted to.” 
His face was so close, she could nearly feel his breath whispering across the flushed skin of her cheeks. She wants to say thank you again, but finds that every single word in her vocabulary has escaped her as she basks in this closeness and the way she can see the reflection of the flickering candle beside her in his dark eyes that still managed to seem so bright with the way they twinkled as he looked at her. 
“Can I ask you something?” He breaks the silence but not the tension as their gazes stay locked. 
She nods, dazed by the closeness, intoxicated by his presence.
“Back in the Shadow Cursed Lands… when you said that our relationship couldn’t go any further… did you mean that?”
She swallows hard despite her throat feeling dry, her entire body tensing at his questioning. The emotions of the day had fluctuated so immensely and the mention of the thing that had been weighing so heavily on her mind for so long only served to bid them to return in full force. A pit forms in her stomach and she feels the urge to retreat. 
“Gale...” She tries to maintain composure, despite her words wavering upon delivery. She offers Gale that same smile from before— the one that never quite reached her eyes. He frowns, but nods. 
“Understood.” He says simply, their faces still dangerously close.
“No, no— I don’t mean— I am just not sure if I have the proper words to convey to you. I—” He moves one hand to comfortingly cover hers as it rests on her knee, patting it gently.
“Perhaps it was too bold of a question after such a harrowing day. Disregard it.” 
The warmth of his hand and his words radiates throughout her entire body, down to her bones. She notices the strand is still hanging in front of his eyes. She doesn’t hold herself back from brushing it away this time, her fingertips lightly graze his forehead as she tucks it behind his ear. Her hand lingers near his face for a while, but not nearly long enough, before she drops it back to her side.
“What if I said no?” She utters fearfully, her voice betraying her and her moment of courage. “Does that change things?”
Gale balks at her, taken aback by the gesture and her words, quick flickers of shock, trepidation, then elation flashing across his expression. He smiles a smile that sends a shiver through her, his eyes dropping to her lips and the gap between them suddenly seeming so much smaller. 
Oh. 
It was getting smaller, as she realized that the magnetic pull between their lips was getting stronger as they both began to lean in, her body taking the reins as her mind tried to make sense of what was happening and determine if she were dreaming or not— had she hit her head hard enough to hallucinate?
“Mr. Dekarios?”
The sound of Tara’s voice calling from down the hall cuts the moment short, both of their heads snapping in the direction of the sudden intrusion. Gale sighs, his head falling in evident disappointment. He glances at her, her eyes wide and her cheeks a bright rosy red that makes his heart flutter. 
“Gods damn it... I should—”
“No worries, go ahead. I’m going to go rest, my head is killing me.” She waves him off, her voice strained and brimming with disappointment.
Gale stares at her for a moment, the desire to kiss her still lingering but ebbing as he sees her pulling away, suddenly feeling as though he’d done something terribly wrong. He opens his mouth to ask, but before he can she’s standing and quickly darting across the room and into the hall, stopping just at the doorway and peering at him over her shoulder. 
She sighs, placing a hand on the doorway and using it for support, her legs feeling as though they may give out on the spot. “Thank you, again.” 
He watches helplessly as she disappears into the hall and the sounds of her footsteps fade slowly, preceded by the sound of a  bedroom door clicking shut. His eyes pinch shut so tightly that he sees stars amidst the inky blackness behind them, and he sinks back into his chair, wishing a blackhole would form underneath him and swallow him.
He could conjure one, if he wanted to. 
He heavily considered it. 
“Mr. Dekarios, fix your posture! Your back already aches enough as it is,” Tara admonishes him as she strolls into the room, blissfully unaware of the havoc she’d just wreaked on his sanity. 
As per usual. 
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There were a surprising amount of cracks in the ceiling above the bed in the room that she stayed in. 
Everything else in this tower seemed nearly pristine aside from appearing well lived in and well loved, Gale evidently cared greatly about his surroundings. The home was cluttered but organized to his exact liking, perfectly tidy apart from books and papers and scrolls strewn about but still cozy and comfortable. Anyone who entered would feel at home. 
She felt at home, more than she wanted to admit to herself. She tried to continue to remind herself that at some point she would have to leave and move on. But as she lay in this bed— this large, ever so comfortable bed— gaze trailing along the strangely cracked ceiling of her bedroom, she wondered what the ceiling of his bedroom looked like. 
She was certain there were no cracks in his bedroom ceiling. There couldn’t be. 
Today had been immensely overwhelming in terms of her feelings toward Gale that had once been burning embers and were now alight in full force— him having stoked the flames tenfold with his seemingly innocent touches and his ardent care for her that he put on full display multiple times throughout the day, all culminating in an almost-kiss. 
They almost kissed. He almost kissed her.
They were so close. She could still feel the heat of his breath against her cheeks and the skin on the back of her hand tingled with the sensation as if his hand remained there still, his thumb rubbing languid circles against her wrist.
In fact, every part of her skin that he’d touched today still felt as if it had been electrically charged, still buzzing and alight with energy that had nowhere to go. She missed the feeling of him already and it was only a mere whisper of a taste rather than an entire bite. 
It wasn’t entirely her fault, obviously, that it never came to pass— Tara had a way of having serendipitously terrible timing. She wasn’t always sure that Tara didn’t know exactly what she was doing, and she wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case this time. 
It was endearing, most of the time. 
But even if Tara hadn’t interrupted— would she have really kissed him? Would he have really kissed her? Or would some other force of nature and horrible timing pluck them out of each other's grasps yet again? 
She thinks maybe he would have. She hopes. 
Now, she’s not sure she’ll ever get the chance to. 
Guilt began to gnaw and claw at her insides furiously as she remembered the way she’d exited the study— hurried and curtly— and the way hurt and confusion etched into his features as he watched her leave.
She loved him. She knew that she did. There was no way around it. She loved him and it was killing her.
But something always stops her in the moments when she longs to tell him, to finally let him in.
It wasn’t that she was inexperienced in the romance department— she’d had a few partners here and there, nothing substantial and all quite short lived— and if she’s being honest, she had never felt strongly toward a single one of them. Most were kind, loving. She enjoyed their company. But she’d never felt comfortable enough to open up to another person and allow them to see the less than savory bits of her that she kept to herself.
And strangely enough, she felt very comfortable with Gale most of the time— she had to, during all those months traveling together. They all saw each other at their worst and lowest moments, but they supported each other through it all. Gale had been particularly helpful to her amidst her own personal struggles she faced in that time. He had been the closest to her, aside from Astarion and Shadowheart.
He’s an easy person to just exist with. That is, if you aren’t hopelessly enamored with him. 
Gods. 
She clenches her eyes shut and pinches the bridge of her nose— another habit of Gale’s that she’d picked up— wishing the large quilt and plush mattress beneath her would just swallow her. Just take her away from it all and save her from having to deal with the consequences of her own idiocy. 
Knock knock. 
“Elara?” 
The sound of Gale’s voice on the other side of her door lurches her from her thoughts and her body up from the mattress. She quickly hops off of the bed and approaches the door, her hand hovering shakily over the handle. 
“Yes?” She asks, turning her head so her voice appears further away than it actually was. 
She hears what sounds like feet shuffling aside from a brief pause, before hearing a long and defeated sigh. 
“Can we talk?” Is all he manages, dejection evident in his tone. 
She reaches for the handle again, turning it slowly and pulling the door just enough to see him through the crack. 
He looked the way he did when something was weighing heavily on his mind or vexing him— she could tell he’d been raking his fingers frantically through his hair as it was uncharacteristically messy and unkempt, his robes were nowhere to be seen, and he stood only in his white wrap shirt that was tied dangerously loosely and tucked into his breeches. 
Not now, brain. Not now. 
“Everything alright?” She asks, trying to hide the sound of her swallowing the massive lump in her throat. 
He shakes his head, placing his hand against the wood grain and gently pushing it, opening it further. 
“The very question I came to ask you,” he retorts. “May I?” 
She nods, backing away from the door to give him enough room to push it the rest of the way open, her heart thudding a million a minute.
He stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame, his expression nearly unreadable. For as expressive as his eyes were, she had such a hard time understanding him or trying to sort out what mental storm was brewing in his head sometimes.
“I could not bear resting my head upon my pillow and or fathom sleeping a wink tonight without knowing whether I’ve done something to upset you or not. If I crossed any lines today, please do tell me, and allow me to offer my most sincere of apologies for—”
What? 
“Gale—“ 
“—ever making you feel uncomfortable or uneasy in any way, I would never want to jeopardize the friendship that I feel we have formed over the course of this past year and—”
“Gale, hold on—”
“—if I’ve done something to potentially sour anything, just know it was never my intention—“ 
“Gale!” She raises her voice in a final attempt to catch the rambling wizard’s attention, crossing the space between them and placing her hands on his shoulders. 
He takes a deep breath, his shoulders tense and she can feel the way his body trembles slightly. 
“Relax, please. You haven’t done anything to make me uncomfortable. Ever.” She coos, rubbing circles with her thumb into his shoulder. 
A few days ago, a gesture like this would’ve made her entire being feel as though she were on fire— but after today, it felt right. After receiving such care and comfort from him, the least she felt she could do was to return it in kind. 
He stares at her incredulously, as if he simply just doesn’t believe a word she’s saying. 
“You don’t have to spare me, Elara. I saw that look in your eyes. I never want to make you feel that way, ever again.” His face softens as he speaks, the pain of potentially slighting her in some way weighing heavily on his chest. 
She blinks a few times, then that gnawing guilt returns with even sharper teeth, maybe some claws too. She pinches her eyes shut and releases a long breath from her nose. 
“You— you think I didn’t want to kiss you?” She murmurs under her breath.
“I feel as though I keep pushing you and all I’ve done is push you further away.” He responds, the hurt evident in his slightly quivering voice.
Her eyes had begun to burn at this point.
“Gale… it isn’t you. Truly,” she cringes at her own words, realizing how it sounded. “I just— there is a lot on my mind right now, and I don’t want to burden you with any of it. That’s all.”
It wasn’t a lie, at least not entirely. There was a lot on her mind— even if most of it pertained to a certain brown eyed wizard who happened to be standing in her doorway, looking like that. 
His eyes find hers in the dim candlelight, searching them for something, anything that could answer at least one of the myriad of questions he wanted to but couldn’t muster the nerve to ask.
The pale blue moonlight filters in through the large window on the other side of the room, almost haloing her and basking her in an ethereal glow. 
“It’s not a burden if it’s taken on willingly,” he contests, taking one tentative step toward her. “I care for you, Elara.”
If the room had been any quieter, she swears the sound of her heart booming through the smaller space would be deafening. “It’s not important. You have many other things to concern yourself with, I don’t expect you to—”
“The only thing concerning me presently is—” he pauses. You, is what he wants to say, but can’t seem to wrench it out of himself. “What is important to you is important to me. I meant it when I said that we work better as a team, you and I.” 
How this man has not been wed yet, is beyond madness to her.
“Gale…” it comes out more as a plea, as she feels her resolve to maintain composure weakening bit by bit as the conversation continues. She was exhausted, physically and mentally, and her heart had been through enough strain in one day. 
His shoulders sink. This was one of several attempts now that he’d made to break down the walls she had built up, and he was beginning to feel more like the villain rather than the hero coming to rescue the trapped maiden from her tower. 
“I do apologize. I fear I have overstepped once again. Here may be a good place to leave this conversation for now. I’ll let you rest.” He resigns, his words betraying the sullen expression he held. 
“Gale, no, I didn’t mean—” 
He holds his hand up to stop her. “It’s quite alright. Get some rest. Goodnight, Elara.” 
Before she can stop him, he turns to leave, pulling the door shut behind him. 
The room suddenly feels several degrees colder than it had prior to what had just occurred. She feels as though all of the oxygen had been sucked from her lungs and every bit of strength had been sapped from her body within a split second— emotional fortitude included, as tears that had been begging to be shed that she had been neglecting for longer than she could confidently say finally began to fall, slipping down her cheeks and wetting the collar of her night shirt. 
Her head falls back as she makes eye contact with the ceiling once again, gaze finding a large crack just above where she stood. It looked fresh, almost. Like it had occurred within the last day or so. 
She wondered if he noticed it while he stood in the doorway. 
She wondered if he was in his room, staring at the ceiling of his own bedroom. 
“Goodnight, Gale.” She whispers into the darkness of the night.
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previous chapter ❥ next chapter (coming soon) ❥ masterlist
(lmk if you’d like to be tagged in the coming chapters :3)
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shepherds-of-haven · 7 months ago
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What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding? For Blade please?
We see a little bit of this between him and Chase in Chapter 7, but the Ket take insubordination/disobedience against authority/dereliction of duties extremely seriously and personally: it's not just a, "oh he's just a rebel in general, that's just how he is and don't take it too personally," it's a "that was a direct challenge to you personally and the affront must be shut down with immediate and brutal force with extreme prejudice so it will never happen again" or absolute chaos will ensue. Basically any direct disobedience is perceived as "do not stand for it or you could lose everything" alarm, because that's what Khehi Ket are taught; if you have a society of super-powered warriors who are all military-trained, insanely strong, and used to using casual violence and bloodshed as ways of solving problems, you need (or think you need) extremely iron-clad and rigid rules to hold it all together and keep order, or literal civil wars could and do break out. Ket history is riddled with examples of this: bypassing a superior's orders to not instigate bloodfeud with a rival family who slandered yours, for example (putting your own feelings/family reputation over service to the state), led to incredibly bloody social conflicts and sometimes all-out massacres, extinguishing of prominent clans, etc. So unquestioning obedience to authority is considered paramount, and failure to demonstrate this is met with immediate and unflinching action to nip that shit in the bud real quick. Blade is trying to untangle this hardwired instinctive response, but he still does believe that leaders shouldn't be too 'close' with their subordinates to maintain this kind of authority for this reason, which is why he tends to remain aloof and keep his distance from the lower ranks. But that's also why he's trying to compensate with having other leaders supplement his perceived intimidating status with the recruits and the laypeople, and also why he sometimes questions if he should be more like Trouble (who 'gets along' with the recruits and is considered much more approachable, although he still maintains authority over them) as a leader, or if he's trying to make a square peg (his style of leadership, personality, and what he was taught) fit into a round hole (a military order that is not rooted in Ket ideology, customs, and culture)!
Hope that all makes sense!
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itselfromhell · 15 days ago
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As I’ve previously mentioned, I wrote an article about lohsebille for uni and now that I’m doing a proper Sebille origin run I have some further thoughts that I wanted to share here regarding Sebille’s relationship with Tir-Cendellius and how it parallels Lohse and the demon’s relationship, along with some thoughts on my Sebille origin run (with lone wolves Lohse)
There’s very clear parallels between Lohse and Sebille’s relationships. Both have been taken advantage of by men in their lives and have had their bodies used and taken control of in an incredibly violating manner. but what’s especially interesting to me is how this cycle continues to be perpetuated in Sebille’s life.
First, she runs away from the Mother Tree and her role as a scion, which arguably, is not dissimilar to what happens in the future to her. She doesn’t have control or autonomy and is forced to engage with a cycle of violence. Then she is enslaved, and subjected to that horrifying trauma. But when she properly meets Tir-Cendellius, I was surprised to see this reiteration of the same cycle in her interactions with him, especially since I don’t think I’ve seen anyone talk about this before.
Tir belittles her and blames her for being enslaved. He treats her in the same manner, taunting her and branding her. When Sebille threatens to mark his name on her wrist and kill him, he brands his name on her for Sebille in the most painful way possible. Then the emotional whiplash ensues as he declares her his champion and swaps his name for her own, claiming that she is her own owner now. This is incredibly reminiscent of Lohse’s interactions with the demon and how he flips between praise and belittlement.
I was shocked mainly because Tir’s reaction is so different to what I experienced playing a custom elf character previously.
I do not know as much about this, but from what I have read, Ifan also has a terse relationship with Rhalic, partly due to his transracial adoption into an elven tribe (I think?) I don’t know much about this so I’m curious if anyone else does.
Finally, I’ll add that in a conversation I had with someone, they pointed out that Sebille has decided to stop running away from her past whereas Lohse still does. I think that this is true to an extent, though now playing her origin I see a lot more of her fear and dread regarding her whole story, things she holds close to her chest.
Sebille appears cold and calculated but her motives are purely emotional, and she hides this from the world to protect herself. But in her romance she slowly starts opening this up more. In many ways her pain and trauma are a large part of how she presents herself, she doesn’t hide it, but she presents it in a rather curated way, as opposed to Lohse, who tries to completely hide it and fails.
Anyway, felt the need to get some 2am thoughts about this game out. Curious to hear other perspectives on this.
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shadowgast-recs-weekly · 1 year ago
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MISCOMMUNICATION: A Shadowgast Rec List
This week, we have miscommunication! Check under the cut for 13 fics that range from hilarious to spicy as a result of not being able to properly communicate, and don't forget to comment and kudos if you like them!
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displacement by mllekurtz (TheKnittingJedi) (12834, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Just after the peace talks and with no word from M9, Essek gets displaced into the future. Somehow this Caleb is travelling with Essek and love him.
Reccer says: I love how Essek thinks that future!Essek is deceiving the Nein, but no! They love him and forgive him!!
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Indecency by RainDayDecaf (5898, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence
Six times Essek and Caleb accidentally engaged in romantic courtship, and one or two times when their friends helped out with the real deal.
Reccer says: This story has amazing characterization and does an excellent job of highlighting ways cultural differences create miscommunications (that may be fully intended in some cases). It’s great!
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Just a Little Bit Longer, Love by Chanse (SpottedEnchants) (28738, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Meeting for the first time in months, Caleb and Essek spend the evening together cuddling and discuss their relationship.
Reccer says: They are trying so hard to communicate and words come out wrong and they love each other and I love them!!
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I think of all the education that I’ve missed (but then my homework was never quite like this) by MarsBar2019 (15118, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Essek disguises himself and sits in on Caleb’s lecture. They flirt and take it to office.
Reccer says: Really hot roleplay and I love how Caleb is portrayed as a teacher!
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OPERATION: HOT BOI LIBERATION (or: How I Spent My Spring Break in Rexxentrum, by Verin of Den Thelyss) by Catgirlthecrazy (6404, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Verin is sure he needs to rescue his brother from the empire wizard that must have kidnapped and mind controlled him.
Reccer says: I love seeing the m9 from an outsider's perspective. All of Verin's misunderstandings are hilarious. This makes great use of dramatic irony.
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the wolves of my want by SaltCore (26071, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Set post campaign, through the trial, Aeor and Caleb settling in Rexxentrum. Essek pines while on the run trying not to bother Caleb or put the Nein in danger.
Reccer says: I liked it!
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Sex Education by sociallychallengednerd (25487, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: None
Caleb and Essek start dating, but it takes a while for either of them to notice
Reccer says: I love Caleb and Essek geeking out together. Jester and Essek's friendship is so sweet. All the modernizations fit so well. The references are so funny.
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found the place to rest my head by glossolali (2717, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Essek doesn’t know how to comfort Caleb after destroying the T-dock.
Reccer says: Amazing hurt/comfort.
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The Heart is Hard to Translate by CatgirlTheCrazy (6964, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: None
Caleb’s voice is soft, yet paradoxically echoes around the space as if the salon has become a mausoleum. Essek shifts about uncomfortably. “Well—yes, I suppose that is a way to describe it.”
Reccer says: An incredible representation of an important conversation, and the miscommunications that can be rife within. One of my favorite fics and series ever!
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Cradle Robbing by TheLordOfLaMancha (4409, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Yussa catches Caleb using dunamancy and wants to meet Essek. But after being introduced, Yussa has some concerns about Caleb and Essek's relationship. Misunderstandings abound.
Reccer says: This is so funny
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An Evening To Remember by Interrobang (1755, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Essek and Caleb both try to surprise each other. Hjinks ensue
Reccer says: I liked it!
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The following two fics each received two recs!
eleventh hour by mllekurtz (TheKnittingJedi) (3486, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Thinking that it would be his last chance, Essek kisses Caleb at the Mighty Nein Goodbye Party.
Reccer 1 says: So soft and sweet! Reccer 2 says: It is so cute and sweet and classic m9 to forget who knows what.
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Kiss Me Goodbye by LivThael (22450, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Modern AU where Caleb and Essek meet on a hookup app but things get messy when feelings get involved.
Reccer 1 says: I liked it! Reccer 2 says: I will eat anything with this setup with bread and butter but this is an especially great specimen. Misunderstandings and pining and hot sex, amazing
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Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with fics featuring Empire Sibs!
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alovesongtheywrote · 9 months ago
Note
nightmare academia puts me through the ringer EVERY TIME and i love it
♥ Summary: in a few chapters, it's gonna get worse!! for now tho... In this chapter of Nightmare Academia, case stuff ensues and you prepare for heartbreak. [Prof!Spencer Reid x GN-Prof!Reader]
♥ Warnings: cops. cops being terrible, cops exploiting the system, and cops shaming a woman for being a sex worker. also, violence, implied violence, and past violence.
♥ A/N: holy shit, this chapter is Very Long
♥ Word Count: 4885
Series Masterlist
♥♥♥
In the weeks that followed, Spencer brought the BAU to you.  Of course, not everyone could make it.  Kate Callahan was off raising her children.  Penelope Garcia was the target of several  hitmen (whereas Frank was probably the target of a single hitman.  Massive difference.  Trust me.)  And Derek Morgan remained at Quantico with Garcia- so you really weren’t sure what to expect.  The agents you had the strongest feelings about were out of commission.  The last time you’d met his team it did not uh, how would you put it?  End well?  So you were- justifiably- a touch guarded.
That changed. Eventually.
It started with Adam.  
At that point in the investigation, local law enforcement had only shown your friend cruelty, distrust, and skepticism.  Honestly?  You were about to start biting people about it.  (Yeah, maybe it would have gotten you arrested, but at that point, you did not care.  At the very least, biting would make you feel productive.)  You were well and truly prepared for Spencer’s law enforcement team to behave in a similar manner to the local cops- and to be honest, you probably should have been.  Most Feds would carry that same suspicion and distrust, and if they didn’t they were probably faking it to try and get a confession.  
The BAU, however, are not most Feds.  For several reasons.  Either way, you were well and truly prepared to maul the next person who treated your friend like garbage, fed or otherwise.  There was never a need.
The BAU showed Adam basic decency.  They didn’t talk down to him or dismiss him as a demeaning stereotype- and yes, that was the barest of bare minimum, but it was still something.  While they regarded him with mild suspicion for the first like, two minutes, it only took the team that same two minutes to come to the conclusion that Adam was innocent.  After that, the BAU was just as dedicated to clearing Adam’s name as you were.
“Adam had an incredibly emotional response when we mentioned Frank,” Hotchner explained to the local detectives, “He’s genuinely devastated by what happened.  He couldn’t have done this.  Even if he did attack Frank, it wouldn’t have been a clinical hit.”
“Emotions tend to make things messy- we would have seen something much more personal, with more violence and more remorse,” Rossi added.
The detectives did not listen.  The detectives did not care.  
“I’d say a gunshot wound is pretty messy,” one laughed.
“Yeah,” another jumped in, “Try telling the vic’ that things aren’t messy.”
You bit your tongue to keep from screaming, but you didn’t stay entirely silent.  If the detectives weren’t going to give a shit on their own, then you were going to make them.
“Have you actually?” you asked, crossing your arms, “Have you spoken to the victim?”
“Eh, someone else got around to it,” the first detective asked, looking at his partner with the special kind of uncertainty that came with getting called out.
“Did you read the report, then?”
“Well, I’m on the case, aren’t I?”
“Answer the question, detective.”
In the telling silence that followed, Rossi had to turn away to hide his (failed) attempt to suppress a grin.  Hotchner looked proud, despite not knowing you very well.  Spencer looked like he might grab you by the waist and kiss you until you were out of breath.  He didn’t, though, for lots of reasons- his boss was there, he hadn’t asked you if you’d like to be kissed, there was more serious stuff to focus on, and like… you already looked fucking pissed.
The detectives just looked embarrassed.  
“I- uh.  I’ve skimmed it,” the first detective stuttered out.
“Yeah, cool, not good enough,” you nabbed the case file from a nearby desk and pressed it into the officer’s hands, “Consider reading the report.  You’ll find that the victim disagrees with you.”
Both detectives stared at the file as if they were seeing it for the first time- as if they were seeing a file for the first time.  You sighed.
“Detective, if I may ask, how much overtime have you put in on this case?”  the man in front of you blanched at your question.  You would’ve laughed if you weren’t so fucking angry, “Cool.  I thought so.”
“Ough,” Rossi winced with faux sympathy, “Overtime?  And you haven’t even read the case file?”
“Hey, we’ve been very busy these last few weeks!”
The second officer nodded, “Just last week, we had five break-ins in the downtown area.”
“Alright, I’ll accept that,” you turned to leave before doubling back, “But before I go, I need to ask- do you care about the wellbeing of the break-in vics the way you care about this case?  Do you care about all victims so dearly?  Or do you treasure their testimony the way you “treasure” the testimony in this case?”
“What?  What are you saying, what do you-”
“I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume it’s the latter.”  
“What?  Okay, what the hell do you know about police work-!”
“They’re an expert criminologist,” Spencer said, seething slightly.
“Dr. Reid is right.  I know a thing or two about crime- and if I’m just gonna put it this way.  I’ve seen the data.  I’ve heard testimony from victims and offenders.  I know the local and nationwide statistics for unreported crimes.  You’re concerned about the victim hearing that his case isn’t messy?  Look me in the eye and tell me that you’ve never told a victim that their situation- their serious situation- was a waste of police time.”
The officers couldn’t look at your face, much less your eyes.  You had done what you needed to do.
“You wanna solve crimes?  You wanna be the hero?  Then take a goddamned ethics class, read your fucking case files, care for your community, and do your fucking job.”
The detectives tried in vain to defend themselves.  They were unsuccessful- especially in the face of the three FBI agents that immediately backed you up.
“Dr. (L/N) is right.  The number of unreported crimes will astound you,” Rossi said, smirking like the little shit that we all know he is.
“This is especially prevalent with sexual assault cases, theft and scams, and other crimes where the victim may feel a sense of embarrassment- or crimes where the victim feels like their case won’t be taken seriously,” Spencer added in a very Spencer-like way.
“And everything you need to know about this crime is in the file.  If you’d read it, you’d know that the victim is very insistent that your guy didn’t do it, and one could say that, oh, I don’t know, he’s a strong eyewitness.  He is the victim and all,” Rossi continued, getting their asses.
They struggled to respond, “Well- I-  We-”
“And even if you discount the eyewitness testimony, there’s still the matter of alibis and ballistics.  Security cameras have placed Adam away from the community center at the time of the shooting.  The ballistics aren’t a match to any weapon that Adam has ever come into contact with.  Even if they were a match, he hasn’t handled a weapon since his release from prison as a condition of his parole.  But if you had checked the file, you’d know that,” Hotch added, also smirking like a little shit, but with a slight edge to it- that edge, kids, is called “pissed off authority figure.”
“Hey, it-”
“It just sounds like poor police work to me,” Spencer had the biggest smirk of all- the smirk of a little shit who’s proud of his team and of his hot co-professor, “Had you actually done any of your research, you would realize that the suspect you have in custody is being held on police bias and circumstantial evidence.  Any good lawyer can get this case thrown out, and then where will you be?”
His smirk turned to a full grin when you shot him a small smile of your own.
The detectives continued to sputter out responses.  For once, the second one spoke, “Now, we may not be fancy FBI agents, but this precinct has a solid track record of convictions-”
“Were those convictions based on circumstance and bias?” Neither detective answered Spencer’s question.  He continued, “Even if this precinct had a perfect track record, that wouldn’t make it invulnerable to mistakes- and even if it did, you would still have the responsibility of approaching each case like professionals to ensure the wellbeing of victims, suspects, and families.”
“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” you slid forward, putting a hand on Spencer’s arm, “Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to go speak with the victim.  His name is Frank, by the way.”
And just like that, you pulled Dr. Spencer Reid away- and he did not resist in the slightest.  In fact, he held the door open for you as you exited the precinct.  Rossi was pretty sure he saw the kid get behind the wheel.
As the detectives scurried away with their tails between their legs, the older agent let out a long whistle.
“Well, I think it’s safe to say that our young Dr. Reid is officially smitten.”
“He was smitten the last time we were here,” Hotch said, pulling another copy of the case file from seemingly nowhere- one of his many unit chief powers.
“Yeah, yeah, but this time it’s bad.  Garcia’s gonna be mad that she didn’t get to see it.”
Hotch nodded, solemnly.
“Y’know, I think the three of them combined could probably take down the whole FBI.”
“You’re right,” Hotch snapped the file closed with a tiny little proud-dad-type smile, “We’re awfully lucky that they’re focused on something else at the moment.”
-
Missy got your guard to drop further.
Initially, she was hesitant to have the Feds drop in on Frank’s case- you both were.  You were used to local law enforcement treating her like shit.  You didn’t stand for it- every time a cop or lawyer so much as dared to look at her wrong, you bared your teeth like a damn dog and threatened to bite where it would hurt.  Y’know.  Lawsuits.  Missy wasn’t exactly a pushover, either.  She was one of the strongest people you knew, and you were well aware that she could hold her own.  If Missy wanted to be scary, she could be fucking terrifying.
Still, it was a little exhausting to fight all these battles against people in positions of authority who were so convinced that their series of events was correct, and anyone who went against it was nothing more than a lying ex-con.  Having the BAU in your pockets certainly helped with that.
“I already told you what happened.  I’ll tell you a thousand more times if I have to, but the story isn’t going to change,” Missy groaned, voice muffled as she buried her face in her hands.
“Okay, then.  We’ll go over your testimony again.  A few more times, if you don’t mind,” One of the local detectives smirked, ignoring the death glare you sent her way.
“Fine.  Frank was walking me to the community center.  I was taking a class on resume writing.  It was cloudy, not raining, but cold.  We came around the side of the building when a man in a leather jacket walked around the corner.”
“And what did this man do?”
“He- he shot Frank.  He tried to kill my-” she took a shaky breath.  You put a hand on her arm, aiming for gentle comfort and reassurance.  Missy nodded, letting you know you’d hit your target.
“Did you see his face?” The officer continued.
“No.  He was wearing one of those bike helmets that block off the person’s eyes- but I swear, it wasn’t Adam.  This guy was too bulky.  Adam’s made of wires, he needs to eat more.”
“You seem to have a lot of affection for Adam,” the detective leaned forward, “Now, we know you’ve claimed to be in a relationship with Frank- but could you describe your relationship with Adam for us?”
“I already said it!  I took a couple classes with him!  He’s a friend, that’s all.”
“Mhmm.  That’s all.  And in your previous line of work- the one that earned you a prison sentence of twelve months and a little over minimum wage- you had a lot of ‘friends,’ yes?”
“Excuse me?” your fingers bit into the table that separated you from the cop.  You had half a mind to jump over the thing and throttle the smug detective sitting before you.  
“What?” Missy growled, “You think just because I used to hook I fuck all my friends now?  I’ve taken a few classes with Doc (L/N), I haven’t fucked them!”
You nodded in solemn agreement.  The detective shrugged this off, ignoring everything that came out of Missy’s mouth.  When she spoke again, her voice rang with the faux pity of someone who held themselves leagues above Missy.
“You know, I can see why you were looking at writing up a resume- your old line of work is so degrading.  You know you’re never the same, afterwards.  You can never wash off the shame.  You’ll always be a little broken.  A little-”
“Okay, that’s enough-” you stood up, slamming your hands down on the table.
“Hey, fuck you, man-” Missy leaned forward, “Don’t tell me what hooking did to me.  You don’t know me.  You don’t fucking know.”
“And now you’re lashing out.  Poor thing-”
“Detective Foy.  A word,” Tara Lewis, a newer BAU agent who you hadn’t really had the pleasure of meeting materialized in the doorway like a perfectly timed ghost, ready to right some wrongs and keep you from committing a murder.  Her request for a word was perfectly intimidating, disclosing the not-so-secret secret that the request itself was not actually a request.  
“I’m sorry, Agent, I’m in the middle of an interrogation-” 
“It’s not an interrogation.  You’re questioning a witness.  Agent Jareau will handle things from here.  Now, a word?”
You and Missy watched as the detective slunk out of the room with her tail between her legs.  Moments later, JJ joined you, but she didn’t bother to start a line of questioning.  Instead, the three of you watched in giddy silence as Tara Lewis destroyed Detective Foy where she stood.  You couldn’t hear her through the glass, but you could vaguely read the words, “You are a police officer meant to serve and protect the people in your community, and uphold the law.  You should educate yourself on the law, and on what it means to serve and protect.”  On her lips.
You could’ve been off on that translation, but either way, it was sick as fuck.  By the time Tara was finished, you and Missy were barely holding back your laughter.  You probably would’ve held it in if JJ hadn’t turned around with a pleased grin on her face.
“Ok, well, I’ve known Agent Lewis for about three minutes, and already I adore her,” you cackled.
“Oh, she’s excellent,” Missy said, eyes sparkling with mirth.
“Well, we certainly like her,” Jennifer grinned, clearly proud of her teammate and happy to see that someone outside the BAU had taken notice.
A few moments later, Tara re-entered the room with a tired sigh on her lips.  It didn’t take her long to realize that you were all staring right at her.
“What?  What is it?”
“Oh, it’s nothing, we just think, as a group,” you looked around like you were the leader of the world’s weirdest (and maybe coolest?) group project, “That you are, objectively, excellent.”
“Yep.  Not bad for a Fed.”
Again, you nodded in agreement, “I concur.”
Tara raised an eyebrow, slightly confused, “Thank you?”
Missy gave Tara a thumbs up.  You followed her lead.  Not really knowing what else to do in this situation, and figuring there was no harm in joining the madness, Tara returned the thumbs up.
“Well, like we said, we’ll take over the questioning from here,” JJ took a seat as she spoke.  Tara joined her at the table.
“So, after Frank was shot, did you see where the attacker went?”
“No.  I was kind of focused on my partner bleeding on the ground.”
“That’s fair- but try to think back.  Did you see anything in your peripheral vision?  Did you hear anything?”
Missy paused for a moment, and when she spoke again, she still sounded lost in thought, “I heard a bike.  It makes sense with the helmet- I think it might’ve been a Yamaha?”  
“Wait, you can tell which brand a bike is by the sound?” you asked, not disbelieving Missy, but distracted by the new knowledge that a person could do such a thing.
“If you let me think about it, I could probably give you the make and model.”
“Holy shit, really?” your eyes were wide.  Your expression betrayed just how bewildered and impressed you were by vehicle knowledge.  It might’ve been basic knowledge, but fuck it, the author can’t drive.
“Oh, absolutely- different bikes make different sounds.  Cars are similar,” Tara nodded her agreement.
“You can tell cars apart by their sounds!?”
“Yeah?  Can’t you?” Missy turned to face you, slightly bemused.
“I can tell that they’re old?  Or like, electric, I guess?”
“Okay, when this is all over, I’m giving you a lesson.”
“I’d like to get in on that,” Tara added.
“Excellent!” Missy smiled, “Now everyone shut up and let me think.”
-
The way the BAU treated Frank dragged your guard down further.  They were gentle, but not dehumanizing or infantilizing.  They just treated him like a human person, and you found that neat, and more importantly, Frank found that neat.  
Also, the BAU laughed at Frank’s anecdotes and jokes.  I will be fully honest.  That was more of a relief to you, especially because a decent chunk of those anecdotes and jokes were about you murdering the shit out of Spencer Reid using nothing but your words.
It really started on that very first day, when you and Spencer had gone to visit Frank.  He could see it from his hospital bed- Spencer’s hand on your shoulder, the way Spencer was very clearly trying to comfort you from some unknown upset, and that was it.
Frank said, “Wow.  Those two have sure come a long way from Doc telling him to go die in a ditch.”
And JJ, who had been questioning him, choked on her coffee and wheezed out a, “What?”  
And that was pretty much it.  Frank explained that Spencer had pissed you off, you’d hit him with the “die in a ditch” thing, and he looked so sad that you literally forgave him the next day.  (He left out the bit about the stabbing, because stabbing doesn’t just kill people, it kills moods.)
From then on, Frank was the premium source of gossip on you and Spencer.  Of course, Missy got in on it, too.
When they told Rossi about the time you’d called Reid a “shit-licking asshole fed,” the agent laughed so hard that he literally couldn’t speak for a solid minute.  Was he a big fan of the anti-fed talk?  Not particularly.  But you had gone at it with such gusto, and with such anger, that he couldn’t help but cackle.  
You knew none of this, but you knew that everyone involved seemed happier after the BAU took the case.  That was good enough for you.
-
Your guard fell because of Spencer.
Wasn’t that always the way this was going to go?
While the BAU took care of your friends, Spencer took care of you.  He made sure you got home safe.  He kept you in the loop about everything case-relevant.  He made sure you remembered to eat, which was kind of hypocritical of him, but oh well.  He offered to drive you to and from the hospital, which was a fun kind of hell, because the man obeyed every traffic law ever made, but you got to bully him for it, so it all evened out in the end.  He distracted you from the nightmare you were living through by offering fun facts.  He made the nightmare better just by being him.  
And he was the one to get Adam out.  
He didn’t announce this victory to you.  He just showed up one day, at the hospital, following behind Adam as the newly freed man burst into Frank’s room.
“Frank!  Hey, are you good man?  I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, I would’ve been, but you know how it is with cops.”
“Shit, dude,” Frank beamed, “All things considered, I’m not too bad.”
“Holy shit, Adam?” you let out a hospital-appropriate screech.
“Oh my god,” Missy stood from her place at Frank’s bedside to give him a hug.  For a moment, she held him so tightly that it looked like Adam legitimately couldn’t breathe.
The moment she saw Spencer lingering in the background, she switched from one wire-shaped man to the next.  Spencer hugged her back politely, and then, in an instant, she was onto you.
“You sons of bitches did it!  You actually did it!”
“Did we?” you asked Spencer, lowering your voice as Missy, Frank, and Adam enjoyed their reunion.
“We did,” Spencer confirmed, stepping closer to you until you were side to side, whispering to each other to avoid disturbing your friends, “We found bank statements proving that this was a targeted hit, unrelated to Adam.  We’ve only been able to find the unsub’s side so far, but it won’t take us long to find whoever contracted him.” 
“Shit- that’s both really good and mildly fucking terrifying.”
“I know,” Spencer answered almost too quickly, but he covered it up just as fast, “But it means that Adam is a free man.  It’s almost over, (Y/N).”
You let out a small exhale, trying to maintain some semblance of calm, “Almost.  Thank you, Spence.  For all of this, for everything-”
“You don’t need to thank me.  It wasn’t just the new evidence.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, there was this local criminology professor, maybe you’ve heard of them.  They were incredibly insistent that law enforcement look deeper into the case, and because of them, the conviction vanished.”
A smile slipped onto your face as you turned to face him, “Was that a joke, Spence?  You’re doing ha-ha funny jokes now?”
“I’m saying you did a good thing, here, (Y/N).  Look,” he nodded towards the hospital bed, where your friends were talking, beaming, clinging to each other’s hands like they’d been shot, traumatized, and separated for months- which was an accurate summary, actually.
At your side, you let your hand slip into Spencer’s, weaving your fingers between his slender ones.  You felt his grip tighten, his palm pressed tightly to yours.  His hands were warm.
“We did a good thing,” you whispered.
You pulled him closer by the hand.  You weren’t harsh or forceful, but Spencer still stumbled into you with what can only be described as a somewhat lovestruck grin on his face.
And then his phone rang.
You watched his face fall as he answered it.  His fingers drifted away from yours.  You could almost hear Hotchner’s voice on the other end.  The call only lasted a few moments, but it changed everything.  The air in the room grew heavy.  The room fell silent.
“We found the unsub.  My team is confronting him now, I-” he paused.
“They want you to go with them.”
“I have to.”
A shaky breath escaped your lungs, and you were kinda pissed at it- how dare that shaky breath reveal how you actually felt?  How dare it break free from your body, alerting Spencer that your world had just spun out sideways for the millionth time that week.
You were gonna square up with that fucking breath.
But first, without saying another word, you nodded towards the door.  Spencer nodded back.  Like that, he was gone.  You watched him go.  You stared at the empty doorway after he’d left.   The room remained silent.
I mean, it did until it didn’t- your friends couldn’t watch that and say nothing.  I don’t think anybody could.
“Holy shit, you’re just gonna let him leave without saying goodbye?” Adam asked, looking between you and the door so quickly that you were almost surprised that his head didn’t fly off.
“He’s down bad,” Frank whispered, nodding in agreement, “Go get him.”
“I- he’s gonna be back in five minutes,” you tried to reason.  It didn’t work.
“He could be back never!  He might die!” Missy ran forward, gripping your shoulders.
“He’s got a bulletproof vest-”
“THERE IS SO MUCH THOSE THINGS DON’T COVER!!” Missy progressed to shaking you, slightly, “Go get him!  Hurry, before it’s too late!”
“I really don’t know what you want me to say here.”
“Tell him you’re also down bad!” Frank exclaimed, no longer whispering.
“Down bad-?  What the fuck does that even mean,” you said, your voice growing quieter and quieter as you left the room and headed down the hallway.
“... Y’know, they taught me what ‘down bad’ means.”
“Same.”
As your friends continued to discuss, you were already halfway down the hallway, walking as fast as you could given the hospital setting.  Spencer was nowhere to be seen and you really didn’t have time to look.  You really had one choice.  The elevators.
You reached them just in time to watch that lanky noodle motherfucker step inside.
Giving up on decorum, you raced through the hospital corridor, yelling out apologies at every human person you passed- fortunately there weren’t too many, so it wasn’t like you caused a massive disturbance.  Most people just thought you were having your rom-com finale moment.  Maybe some part of you was trying to, but honestly, you weren’t really thinking about it.  You were mostly just thinking, “Shit, shit, shit, I have to get in that elevator.”
And you did!  You made it!  You stumbled through the doors and came to a stop in the middle of that tiny box.  Spencer reached out to steady you, his expression letting you in on his amused confusion.  You smiled up at him, trying not to pant- and then you came to a realization.
You had no fucking clue what the hell you were going to say.
To be fair, what the fuck is a person supposed to say in that situation?  “Heyyyy, my friends think I’m in love with you, so now I’m here, wanna talk about that before you head into a dangerous situation involving a hitman and many guns?”
Or perhaps, “Hey!  You’re a good person even though I keep insisting you aren’t one, so I want you to know that you’re a good person before I send you off to get murdered!”
Or maybe, “You’re hot, I’m hot, wanna spend the next thirty seconds doing terrible things to this elevator that will get us forcibly removed from this hospital?”
Or even, “Hi, you just did a really nice thing for my friends, and I really appreciate it, and even though I don’t express it, I do care about you a lot, so maybe don’t die in the next few hours.  For me.  Please.”
In the end, you just settled for, “Hi.”
“Hi,” Spencer replied, not taking his hands from your shoulders even though you were more than steady, “Is everything okay?”
“Okay?  Yeah,  yeah, everything is, um.  Everything’s fine.  I just-”  you froze again, because seriously, what the fuck could you say right then and there?  What could you say that would let him know everything you wanted him to know?
“Are you sure?” he looked at you, held you with such delicate concern.  You kind of wanted to partake in elevator ruining activities with Spencer until the two of you got kicked out of the hospital together. 
“Yeah- yeah!  Everything’s- I’m okay, it’s just,” you raised your hand, letting it hover between the two of you for a moment before you placed it over one of his, “Come out of this alive.  Make sure everyone else does, too, but… come out of this okay, okay?”
Spencer hesitated.  And then he wrapped his hand around yours and brought it to his lips, kissing your knuckles ever so briefly.
“I will.  I promise.”
The elevator bell dinged.  You’d reached the parking lot.  Spencer let go of your hand with a different kind of hesitation.  
“I’ll see you soon,” he offered, “Okay?”
“Okay.”
Spencer disappeared into the parking lot, dashing out of sight and into danger.  You stood there, watching until the elevator doors slid shut and that infernal box pulled you back up again.  The humming metal lights above and the clanking metal around you harmonized into the perfect soundscape for your empty mind.
Spencer was heading into danger, as he always did.  You were returning to serve your community, as you always did.  Spencer might not come back, and you would always remain, and you realized that when the case was over, he would go back to Quantico with the BAU, and you probably wouldn’t see him ever again.
And it broke your heart a little bit.  Maybe more than a little bit.  A little bit, perhaps.
You were a long way from, “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, go die,” indeed.
♥ Tags: @icarusignite, @usuallyunlikelyfox, @maraudersforlife2005, @fictionalcomforts, @morgthemagpie, @iiheartbowie, @digitalhearts, @corpsebridenightamare, @ghostatrixx, @reiding-writing, @mywellspringoflife, @80katie, @ms-ks-world, @logicalhorror if you asked to be tagged and i forgot, pls let me know!! if you would like to be tagged and aren't, also let me know!!
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thedrarrylibrarian · 9 months ago
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Have you ever had a day that just went completely to shit? That was the entire month of November for me. I had planned to have this Happy Hour ready then, but between work and home life and hosting for the holiday and everything else...a ball had to drop. I was so disappointed, because I love doing Happy Hour and I love speaking with the creators who help with the guest fic recs.
@ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm could not have been more gracious and understanding about postponing his rec. I always thought his artworkand fics were lovely, but being on the receiving end of the his kindness makes the works even lovelier to me. I love that even in moments of violence, he portrays characters as vulnerable and soft, the gentleness of moments of solitude, and the joyfulness of the mundane. If you haven't checked out Joy's art before, I cannot recommend it enough.
So after waiting for several months, I am finally so excited to share his incredible fic rec. Our first Happy Hour guest rec of the year is by the lovely and gracious @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm.
Outside of things that become fanon, we all travel the worlds of transformative works building up our own personal sense of canon. A lot of that process is wish fulfillment and self indulgence on little pleasures and minor vanities, which is what carves out this perfectly molded comfort that we all shelter ourselves in, what comes together to broadcast our unique wavelengths of bliss. But there is also another part of the process, one that I find myself unconsciously engaging in at times, which is an attempt to rewrite, rewire, recolor the places in which the source material has dulled, or to find cracks and fissures for interpretations that will allow me to engage with the source more meaningfully in the long run while honoring the directions in which I’ve grown and changed. There’s been a lot of work in the Harry Potter fandom that took on the form of a kind of hermeneutics, or that used the setting and characters as a kind of convenient vehicle to make a point about The Real World, in a way that sometimes makes it feel like we, the naive and spirited readers of the source material are somehow distant from the world and must be gently pulled back into it in the language of our distraction. Harry Potter and Welcome to the World of Grey was the first AU retelling of a larger segment of the HP canon where I felt like I was encountering something completely new, something that had the distant shape of these previous approaches at first glance but that, right from the first page, has that almost physical pull of the complete and precious new. 
Harry Potter and Welcome to the World of Grey by @sobsicles (456,640 words, rated E)
When Harry fails to keep his anger at bay and Voldemort possesses his mind, the events that follow lead him down a long road to realizing the world isn't as black and white as it seems.
Chaos, hilarity, and tragedy ensue with a Dark Lord being honest all the time, a rival becoming something else, and a world demanding to be saved. Featuring frightened Death Eaters, deep conversations with a monster, Pureblood traditions being ridiculous, and the fight to do the right thing with no true options.
Harry's life just gets more and more bizarre with each passing moment.
Or, the one where Harry's life gets split in half, and he has to figure out how to bring it back together.
The summary is immediately gripping, and I’ll leave the reader to discover the shapes of the AU on their own, but the basic premise of the story is that Harry, at the end of 5th year, does something he would never do in the book, and that as a consequence of (?), or despite (?) or alongside (?) this, him and Voldemort begin to, on a relational and intellectual level, engage in a way that would otherwise be impossible. This story works on so many levels, all of them incredibly crafted and so masterfully sustained over the behemoth length of the first installment. The Harry in this story is funny and young and troubled in the most delicious ways all the while wading in and out of the crushing solitude of predetermination (and also maybe just humanity). I generally read exclusively fics in which they’re adults, or at least on the brink of adulthood in 8th year, but the author has crafted such incredibly convincing teenage characters in both Harry and Draco here that by the end not only do they both end up under your skin but they also become these people that sit alongside you, whose adolescence you’ve literally gone through as both a sympathetic spectator and as a mirror of them, drawn into the irresistible sweet delights of their love, the painful bonding of people captive in their lives, the hope of the future born out of surviving something together. 
There is also a tendency in fics to paint the adults of the HP world as traitors, because that’s what the majority of them are, and this is something I also usually engage with. In this fic, while we maintain that the state of the world and the fates that befell all our favourite characters are largely the result of a kind of treason of goodness and responsibility, we also get to have these incredible deep insights into why each adult character is the way they are, through relations made possible only by this unlikely scenario that the author proposes. We also get to have the warm joy of seeing a child empathize with (and pity, and comfort, and teach) people who they owe nothing to, and this is an absolute treasure that shines brighter as we move through the story.
Finally, as this is Happy Hour, apart from all the things I’ve briefly mentioned up there that make this fic a delightful and comforting experience that I constantly go back to, I wanted to talk about a strange way that made this story become my source of comfort. This story made me like Voldemort. Not the terrifying and irredeemable one from the books or the movies. There’s this feeling that I have about fics and fandom, and I think it’s shared by a lot of people who’ve been around for a while, and it’s that these characters and settings and storylines are almost… nebulous things that always existed in us and around us and that we had maybe some slight hope for, but that were first snatched out of non-being and formed by the source material authors. This is also just how art and creativity is, in general - an antenna that beams signals and sometimes someone gets the whole message first. And you grow up and sometimes things are shaped by the source material to make you think oh I’ll feel this way forever and then of course you change your mind, but this was more like an intense, emotional journey in which I realized there was all this personal negativity that I’d always shove into this concept and this being - and that when I encountered the newly formed shape that this author’s Voldemort takes on, my resentments and my fixed darknesses, once unmovable and heavy at the bottom of this big thing in my life, were suddenly things I could walk up to. That the previously unapproachable veil of evil - which is simple, and undebatable - had lifted, and suddenly I could decide to do something else with them, to pick them up and carry them or throw them away, or live alongside them as awkward housemates until suddenly the shame and fear they represented wasn’t something I had to run from. So for happy hour, I picked a story that made me, and continues to make me, engage with not only happiness but a kind of lasting adult joy that comes from letting something come in and help you redraw the city lines of your own story. It’s very precious to me. I read the entirety of this fic in two days next to the crisp Adriatic sea, but I’ve reread it in many settings since then, and it’s always made me both hungry and full in the way that good home cooking does. I hope it does the same for you too.
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meanbossart · 5 months ago
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Do you have a favourite chapter/ scene in ANE? or just any general part you really enjoyed working on?
(SPOILER WARNING for the obvious reasons.)
There's been many! As far as what I enjoy writing the most, it would definitely have to be the fast-paced scenes. Like the dragonborn's death at the mining village and the subsequent breakdown of his band-buddies - Izzantar's attempt on DU drow's life and the following chaos that ensued with the fox and horse - the kerfuffle with the dwarfs in the Pran tavern - those are incredibly fun to do and come very naturally to me. VAMPIRIC INTERLUDE TO THE TUNE OF VIVALDI'S ALLEGRO is old and not quite up to my standard of skill anymore, but it's a chapter I wrote piss drunk and cackling aloud the whole time - I think of fondly still.
However, while much more frustrating to write, the dialogue-heavy scenes are VERY satisfying to finish and read in their entirety later. Violence and chaos is easy - emotional impact is hard. They're very challenging to me and so I feel ever the more accomplished when I cook one up that's up to my loose standards. Dalyria's and Astarion's psycho argument at the blood house took me several rewrites and I think I succeeded in making sure that nobody in that scene came out looking good - Not Astarion, not Dalyria, not DU drow, not even Shadowheart with her fence-sitting. Also, I feel like that scene and what immediately follows is very telling of the pitfalls of Astarion's and DU drow's relationship without having to say any of it aloud.
On that last note, though, I really like writing their little couple fights. Painting the very different languages in which they communicate and eventually making them meet in the middle. They do so much dumb shit in this story, but I think those scenes shed some light on how sensible they can be when they try - and they try very hard for each other. Their conversation about Nathanya and the wine at the end of Detail's Person is one I'm very proud of.
Speaking of Nathanya, I'm also very proud of her backstory summary! Gonna leave that here as a teaser, actually.
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yolowritter · 21 days ago
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Lilanette Week: Body Swap!
Hello there everyone, and welcome back to my insanity! I ran into a few technical issues yesterday, hence the delay, but we're back now and you're getting double the Lilanette! It's a Win-Win, really! Anyway, I only have one more complete fic for this event and it's the Free Space on Saturday, but I figured I should still give you all the cliffnotes that @nicodemoon and I came up with! As an aside, this is a future au taking place sometime during their college years.
So, our story begins with Ladybug, and an Akumatized Villain! Do not ask me what their name is, I beg of thee. Naturally, they have the power to swap bodies between 2 targets, because Chrysalis is very smart. She's already forced the Akuma to blast her, and now only needs either Ladybug or Chat to get hit. Ladybug discerns this by the fact that no civilians are being attacked. Anyway, Chat tries to take the hit for her, but unfortunately...the Akuma just bashes him aside and blasts Ladybug anyway. Marinette opens her eyes to find herself in a dark, cramped place. The Parisian Catacombs, of course. Naturally she immediately notices that she's in Chrysalis' body and detransforms, running around to find a mirror. And when she does...Marinette has no idea who she's looking at. Yes this is inspired by that episode Flash and Lex Luthor from the animated series. Of course she asks Nooroo for the girl's name, but since she technically isn't his Holder, the poor Kwami just gets a case of bubble-mouth. Knowing she has limited time and that her own ID is most likely compromised, Marinette wracks her brain to figure out why this girl looks vaguely familiar. And then...she remembers! Because civilian!Chrysalis (lets say one of Lila's other identities) has actually met Marinette before! Where, you ask? In a bar of course, where she half-drunkenly asked her out on a date because she was pretty! At the time, Alya had been with Marinette so she didn't accept, but that's the memory that sticks out to her. Immediately after this, Ladybug blinks, finding herself back in her own body with the Miraculous Cure zipping through Paris. Chat compliments her for being incredible as always (possibly not having seen her get hit at all), but comments that she probably didn't need to take things as far as she did. We can assume that Lila-Bug went in the cartoonish violence direction to defeat the Akuma. Anyway, Ladybug goes home, anxious about Chrysalis possibly knowing her identity. In fact, she doesn't get a wink of sleep because of what happened last time (London Special). But in the morning, at 9am to be exact, her doorbell rings. Marinette isn't expecting anybody, so she holds her Miraculous close and goes to answer. Opening the door, she sees civilian!Chrysalis awkwardly standing there with a bouquet of flowers. She says hi and nervously asks Marinette on a date, which she accepts this time. End Fic!
Why does this entire thing happen? Because Lila wanted to find out Ladybug's identity. She's already developed a crush on Marinette, and this would be a bit funnier if we add a small beginning section with Lila ID #27 somewhere in the background. Something like attending a lecture in college, a coffee shop, you guys get the gist. Naturally, since her identity is compromised, Lila has nothing to lose and decides to shoot her shot with the local superheroine. Lilanette is presumed to ensue, and everyone is happy!
Obviously I didn't have time to write all of this in real fic format, but I still wanted to share what was drafted for this prompt. Shame I didn't get to make a fic because I think it's hilarious, but Saturday is much more important! Anyhoo, I'll see you all...in like 20 minutes with the Spooky prompt rant, similarly to this, but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!
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