#*I* think this is hilarious

[krankittoeleven]

WIP Wednesday

Hey-o, I come with a snippet from Water of Life chapter 11 which is coming along, albeit slowly. But that's not really news, is it? LOL Anyway, this is a scene between Vili & Ivarr with them being absolute children in Ubba's absence. It's rough around the edges still, but it's been a while since I posted anything so I thought why not...

“Well, you are no master strategist,” Ivarr says with a flippant flick of one hand, before bending over to pick up his axe from the mud.

“Hey, you’re the one who invited me into your war tent back in East Anglia.”

A sudden silence seems to fall around them and even all the sounds of nature seem to pause in anticipation.

Ivarr stares back at him, his face stonelike in its stillness, except for the blink of his eyes and the almost imperceptible beginnings of a sardonic smile on his lips.

“You still think that’s why you were there?” Ivarr asks and Vili can sense the outburst that is building within Ivarr.  Even the impending threat of Ivarr’s cackle is enough to cause Vili’s entire body to tense.  The sound of his laughter was like fingernails scraping along stone the moment before you lost your grip and fell to your death.  If laughter could kill, Ivarr’s surely would.

“You think that with all of the great vikingr we had assembled there, that we were just waiting for you to impart us with your wisdom.”

Vili can feel the heat rising on his face.

“Well, truthfully, no I didn’t,” he replies, his anger and embarrassment rising along with the volume of his voice. “But why else would you invite me there?”

Now Ivarr is really cackling.

“Look, I had pissed Ubba off a couple days before that meeting, and I was just trying to smooth things over and I mentioned I thought you seemed interested an—”

“Wait, you what?” Vili iturrupts, indignant. “How in the name of Odin’s fucking eye socket did you know I was interested in Ubba? I didn’t even know I was interested in Ubba at that point, I don’t think.”

Ivarr’s nearly doubles over with the intensity of his laughter.

“Oh please, you left puddles of drool the size of the North Fucking Sea every time you were near him.  How was I supposed to know he’d invite you to that meeting like it was an audition?”

Vili has no idea how to respond to anything Ivarr had just told him, but it was starting to make an embarrassing amount of sense in his head now that he knew.  Ivarr’s remark on the battlefield, Ubba’s lingering hand after the meeting, the night at the campfire not long after, the way Ubba had said he often left out a drink for him in anticipation of his arrival.

“I—” Vili starts, but he has no idea how to finish or continue.  Ubba knew, and he didn’t.

“It’s too bad you can’t see yourself now,” Ivarr says through his diminishing laughter.

Unable to form words, Vili just stares and fumes in Ivarr’s continually vexing presence until he balls his hands into fists, rests them on his hips and strikes a mocking pose.  It doesn’t take long for Vili to realize that Ivarr is performing a fairly accurate mockery of Ubba when he is irritated by his brother’s antics.

Vili looks down at his own fists resting on his hips and quickly slaps his arms down along the length of his body.

“Loki’s fucking balls, may Odin curse the day Ragnar fucked your mom and created you!”

Ivarr’s cackle ramps up again and Vili can’t help but wish that the elk had actually killed him and saved him all of this.

“Hate me or thank me, I don’t care which,” Ivarr says as he walks by, clapping him on the back as he passes, “I’m going back to camp, we’re sitting ducks here yelling at each other.”

[livingthedragonlife]

laios is perhaps the only character not to get the "they mentioned their favorite food once and the fandom makes it their whole personality" treatment. his favorite food is cheesecake and absolutely nobody cares

[theres-rue-for-you]

my brother works on a boat so when he rants about his job I can’t take it seriously because he keeps angrily referring to his boss as “captain”. like sorry ur having 19th century sailor problems my guy

[xpurplepiex]

chat i hope you find this as funny as i do

[stevenrogered]

Sam Reid: I ate so many of those photos. They were made of rice paper, so they stuck to the roof of my mouth. There were a few where I just shoved the whole photo into my mouth, but that didn’t work, so I had to eat it. It was like eating a sweet cake. They were stuck to the roof of my mouth and I couldn’t keep talking.

They’re saying mean things about Louis’ photos, so he’s going, “Fuck you! You took a beautiful photograph. Don’t listen to that guy. I’ll eat it.”

Jacob Anderson: I loved it so much.

[royalydamned]

Guys I've been here before...

[wolfythewitch]

Happy mermay

[paintedcrows]

Unintended consequence of creating my own Bill... He watches me draw now...

The Horrible Triangle in question:

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Whatever the result is, I will attempt to recreate it as a drawing!

[handledwithgloves]

underrated drarry ship dynamic

[redsray]

The batkids getting in trouble with the JL somehow when undercover or when using aliases and instead of... you know... the aliases... they give their siblings first names. Batman has gotten multiple calls from the JL where they'd be like

Green Lantern: Uh Bats we've got a 'Jason' in custody here he's asking for you.

Batman, panicking bc wtf did Jay do this time:

Tim: Hi!

Batman: You're not Jason.

Tim, dead serious: I don't know what you're talking about.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Local idiot absolutely destroys his twin brother

⚠️ Do not try this at home❗️⁉️

[brainrotcharacters]

the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.

[egophiliac]

(looks at upcoming card releases)

I'm in danger :)

[sleepychipmunk]

posted on rednote thar my chinese zodiac is ox and my western is taurus

immediately told my chinese name is “niu niu”

YALL NAMING ME COW???

[mobius-m-mobius]

#he's actually a comedian

HUGH JACKMAN as LOGAN HOWLETT // WOLVERINE