#ymmv lol

[krankittoeleven]

WIP Wednesday

Hey-o, I come with a snippet from Water of Life chapter 11 which is coming along, albeit slowly. But that's not really news, is it? LOL Anyway, this is a scene between Vili & Ivarr with them being absolute children in Ubba's absence. It's rough around the edges still, but it's been a while since I posted anything so I thought why not...

“Well, you are no master strategist,” Ivarr says with a flippant flick of one hand, before bending over to pick up his axe from the mud.

“Hey, you’re the one who invited me into your war tent back in East Anglia.”

A sudden silence seems to fall around them and even all the sounds of nature seem to pause in anticipation.

Ivarr stares back at him, his face stonelike in its stillness, except for the blink of his eyes and the almost imperceptible beginnings of a sardonic smile on his lips.

“You still think that’s why you were there?” Ivarr asks and Vili can sense the outburst that is building within Ivarr.  Even the impending threat of Ivarr’s cackle is enough to cause Vili’s entire body to tense.  The sound of his laughter was like fingernails scraping along stone the moment before you lost your grip and fell to your death.  If laughter could kill, Ivarr’s surely would.

“You think that with all of the great vikingr we had assembled there, that we were just waiting for you to impart us with your wisdom.”

Vili can feel the heat rising on his face.

“Well, truthfully, no I didn’t,” he replies, his anger and embarrassment rising along with the volume of his voice. “But why else would you invite me there?”

Now Ivarr is really cackling.

“Look, I had pissed Ubba off a couple days before that meeting, and I was just trying to smooth things over and I mentioned I thought you seemed interested an—”

“Wait, you what?” Vili iturrupts, indignant. “How in the name of Odin’s fucking eye socket did you know I was interested in Ubba? I didn’t even know I was interested in Ubba at that point, I don’t think.”

Ivarr’s nearly doubles over with the intensity of his laughter.

“Oh please, you left puddles of drool the size of the North Fucking Sea every time you were near him.  How was I supposed to know he’d invite you to that meeting like it was an audition?”

Vili has no idea how to respond to anything Ivarr had just told him, but it was starting to make an embarrassing amount of sense in his head now that he knew.  Ivarr’s remark on the battlefield, Ubba’s lingering hand after the meeting, the night at the campfire not long after, the way Ubba had said he often left out a drink for him in anticipation of his arrival.

“I—” Vili starts, but he has no idea how to finish or continue.  Ubba knew, and he didn’t.

“It’s too bad you can’t see yourself now,” Ivarr says through his diminishing laughter.

Unable to form words, Vili just stares and fumes in Ivarr’s continually vexing presence until he balls his hands into fists, rests them on his hips and strikes a mocking pose.  It doesn’t take long for Vili to realize that Ivarr is performing a fairly accurate mockery of Ubba when he is irritated by his brother’s antics.

Vili looks down at his own fists resting on his hips and quickly slaps his arms down along the length of his body.

“Loki’s fucking balls, may Odin curse the day Ragnar fucked your mom and created you!”

Ivarr’s cackle ramps up again and Vili can’t help but wish that the elk had actually killed him and saved him all of this.

“Hate me or thank me, I don’t care which,” Ivarr says as he walks by, clapping him on the back as he passes, “I’m going back to camp, we’re sitting ducks here yelling at each other.”

[vaguely-concerned]

My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)

My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content. 

AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.

I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* —  up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug. 

So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were. 

Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro 

If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.

[superreader30]

THIS PICTURE IS SOOO FUNNY!!! 🤣😅😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[valeffelees]

I wish you could have known him when he was young. He was handsome, of course. He's still handsome. Now he's handsome in a way that everyone sees... Then it was just me. I did feel sorry for him; I guess that's how it started. He was always talking, and no one was ever listening. I liked to listen.

[stvlti]

Bad Habits | a Sladick fanmix

cover art edited from a panel in Deathstroke: Rebirth (2016)

i made the panel edit after seeing a similar sladick edit on twitter/x and then made a playlist about it. if you could tag playlists on Spotify this would have #enemies to lovers #toxic situationship #i can make him worse etc etc. enjoy you gremlins.

► TRACKS

You Know Me Too Well - Nothing But Thieves // Babylon - SZA ft. Kendrick Lamar // Teacher's Pet - Melanie Martinez // Trouble - Halsey // Francis Forever - Mitski // Your Dog - Soccer Mommy // Magnetic Field - Lights // Transform - Daniel Caesar ft. Charlotte Day Wilson // Open Arms - SZA ft. Travis Scott

[partyinthemysterymachine]

there are so many times when i wish so VERY much to talk about mary shepherd-sunderland and maria silent hill 2 as characters here and then i remember my opinions can be seen as extremely controversial and i will be willfully misunderstood SO fast

[fandomdancie]

So, uh

We do know there’s no “good”* Bloodweave ending without Tav/player influence, right?

[infriga]

Dbh character pokemon teams based on which pokemon make me think of them:

Connor:

Boltund

Mabosstiff

Arcanine

Milotic

Hisuian Growlith

Manectric

Hank:

Annihilape

Mabosstiff

Gumshoos

Granbull

Houndstone

Stoutland

Markus:

Arceus

Entei

Lycanrock

Dragonite

Palafin

Kingambit

Kara:

Kangaskhan

Marowak

Nidoqueen

Blissey

Dragapult

Drampa

North:

Mewtwo

[epiphainie]

love that i tried to write porn and people are commenting how it was heartbreaking ehdhdjk never beating the sad girl allegations

[fujoshiribbon]

Would Marx be jealous of Fecto Elfilis?

I like to think both of these villains are similar in that they did bad things literally just because they can.

Marx be like "omg that guy tried to use kirby's whole planet against him? that's nuts!!! i wish i could've done kickass stuff like that"

“Marx. That’s your planet too. You live there.”

“Oh.”

[erotomox]

i have an idea for a fic but it involves a kink i've never written before and have no experience with beyond reading it a little. like how do i write choking and it not sound like an attempted murder scene. i get that the one character would have the others life in their hands but they aren't really trying to kill him. writer's woes, am i right?

Oooo fun question!

My process for writing a new kink is to read! Seeing how others describe it, finding out what wording you like and find evocative, is always good ref.

If you can find it, and if you can stomach it, watching videos can help if you allow yourself to try and mentally describe it as it's happening.

Reading accounts of what it feels like, from both the dom and sub's pov, also gives good insight!

I also recommend figuring out what level of realism you want; do you want to go past what can be done safely irl, or do you want it to read as realistic as possible? Personally, I tend to go past what's possible irl bc I have extreme kinks and bc I find that exploring things like that is what fiction is best used for, but some people prefer to follow safety conventions and lean more SSC than RACK (if you don't know what means I apologize for using insider terms lmao)

if you want, i have a breathplay fic (not to self promote but I am proud of it lol) so that might be a good place to start (though my fic is a) not an accurate real world depiction as I ignore safety for the sake of what I find hot) and b) uses an implement (belt) instead of a hand)

good luck, and happy smut writing!

[coulsonlives]

Y'all are applauding the MCU for giving you gay characters in the 2020s and I just wanna say you've been sleeping on Justin Hammer because he did this in 2014

[perenial]

finally decided to start watching the terror bc of your posts and having just finished e01 i'm definitely intrigued but also was curious if you have any tips for learning names/telling these white men apart? that's always a struggle for me

hey anon!! i was going to make my own little who's that white man guide but i've been swamped with work this week so to save time im gonna point u toward this banger <33 but lmk if there's anything else in particular u were interested in/confused by/want to chat abt more!!

[thrilling-oneway]

Still thinking about that tvtropes user who removed an entry listing Rui as Ambiguously Gay because “lack of outward attraction [to women] does not imply Rui is gay”.

[noisytenant]

i started daily journaling/de facto bullet journaling in may and i've kept it up ever since with at most ~a week downtime. this might be the longest i've held onto one organizational habit. sharing my strategy in case it helps anyone else...

i purposefully bought multi-packs of really cheap crappy ~5x7 lined paperback journals (in my case moleskine, i know they're shit but that's the point) so i wouldn't feel any preciousness toward using them. i can take them anywhere in my bag and i don't care much if they get banged up (though they hold up well). i started numbering and dating them on the front as well.

they're both task journals (to-do lists etc) and personal journals. i scribble anything i want in there. i take notes from conversations and write down peoples' contacts in there. i write entries stating what i did during the day and sometimes i have neurotic breakdowns in there. it's like a boring survival horror diary LOL.

i will say this isn't an effective reflective/introspective journal. it's essentially notetaking on my own life; it isn't the kind of journal to meditate on and reach deep insights about my psyche. that's okay.

i think "journaling" is sometimes touted as a tool for self-expression and deep emotional healing, but that assumes a very particular mindset, approach, and skillset within the writer. personally, i can't think much about how i feel when all i can think about is what i need to do during the day, so the first step in taking better care of myself emotionally is simply equipping myself to get those things done--to free up mental space.

there's also a lot of talk about whether "introspection" as discussed in the modern day is a means of mindfully reflecting your inner experience, or more an attempt to individualistically define and externalize all aspects of yourself so you're an easier customer. i think it can be both, but the point is it isn't a universal good. ...but i digress.

the journal works because i don't try to preemptively filter my thoughts into different locations. oftentimes my feelings+experiences reflect actions/tasks and vice-versa. i don't think i could use a journal that was only to-do lists, or a journal that was only my feelings. but now most of my notable thoughts and experiences are all in one place.

anyways, for the to-do lists, i write one every night as one of the last things i do before the next day.

i rarely get everything on the list done, but i don't necessarily need to (consider adding ABC(DE) prioritization labels; i do this mentally). what i take from bullet journaling is that i reference the previous to-do list (and sometimes go a few lists back) and copy over relevant tasks while allowing myself to leave things unfinished and to drop tasks completely. if i do something i didn't plan on my list, i add it and immediately cross it off.

when you notice yourself rewriting the same tasks for several days, usually it's because there's some hidden step you're missing or a subconscious reason you're avoiding it. the art of defining and scoping tasks is a really important skill that i won't get into here, but the point isn't to get frustrated when something keeps getting kicked along--it's to get curious and to try different approaches.

in general, i think a lot of the skill is in striking a balance between what emotionally feels good for you (what triggers a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment, what makes you feel insecure and demotivated) and what you need on a technical level to maintain progress. for example, you want to balance setting manageable task scopes with not overwhelming yourself. you want to celebrate the little things without feeling like you're fluffing up your list with inconsequential tasks. you want to figure out how much work you need to frontload without making the act of task-writing itself a chore. and you'll definitely need to plan for your practices to evolve based on your current needs.

something my friend told me when getting started is to start a to-do list with a box that says "make a to-do list" so you always have one thing checked off from the start LOL. i think trying little tricks like that helps you test the waters of what feels good for you.

if i were to add anything to my practice, i'd like to get into making a monthly backlog like what the original bullet journal guy suggested (IIRC), where i've recorded every task for the month in one page and i can review what hasn't been done by the end. sometimes i drop something because it can't be a priority for the next 1-3 days and then have to circle back, and it might be easier to do that if i referenced a more clean-cut page. but i can be neurotic about page space allocation so i've held off. maybe i'll start it this month o'december...

but yeah. it's kind of crazy to have been doing this for this long, and though i'm still often struggling with executive dysfunction, i feel it's borne some tangible benefits and generally has made me feel a lot more in control of my life during a difficult time. hope you can find something that works for you as well. smiles :)

[troius]