#(totally not menacing at all lmao)

[marshmellowtea]

*About aspec Heather* I saw a post or two about her being asexual(it made SO MUCH sense at that) and it’s the only sexuality headcanon I don’t see for her. I see most people headcanon her as a lesbian or bisexual which is ok but I don’t personally see her that way (I’d be considered biased since I ship her with Alejandro I know) and I thought to myself…she gives off asexual vibes 👀.

tbh this is fascinating to me cuz asexual heather was one of the first headcanons i saw for her when i first started exploring the td tag! i didn't really see it at first (tbf i was really preoccupied with how much i wanted her to go down in season one lmao, it took her development in action and world tour for me to start thinking about her character in other ways) but now i genuinely can't see her as allosexual. her asexual vibes are off the charts fr lol

[eldritchpersonality]

🐉 @dragonskxn liked for a starter! 🔮

Darlene had been going about business as usual, having visited one of her many acolytes for a briefing and now headed back to her shop. The witch was always overly cautious of mortals and being followed (negative past experiences only ever heightened that paranoia), so she would use her shapeshifting abilities in order to disguise herself; into something simple that didn’t seem out of place in her area of a residence… a cat. A blonde fluffy cat with a ruby amulet around its neck.

Her paws pad softly against the concrete, growing more rapid as she gets closer to her building. She takes a suspicious glance around before assuming the coast is clear and her feline form is briefly engulfed by light, growing in an instant before she appears human to the average person yet again. It’s then that her third eye alarms her that bright blue eyes are boring into her as she takes to unlocking the front door, pausing in the midst to gather herself. Her senses recognized this one. She had, had an exchange with this person once before… this mythical creature.

Had she caught a glimpse of her shape shifting abilities?

Instead of reacting with surprise or anger, the witch turns her head, her face greeting Annalise with a warm smile. She was going to play it off as if she hadn’t just been caught in the act—she wasn’t quite ready to reveal herself to this one just yet.

“Whatever are you doing out so late, darling? Don’t you know it’s dangerous in the city when you’re alone?”

[piastappies]

ᯓᡣ𐭩 GORGEOUS! ᡣ𐭩ᯓ

pairing. oscar piastri x leclerc!reader

summary. the youngest leclerc was known to be an outgoing, extroverted menace, but suddenly when she meets the new mclaren driver, she does something she never does — gets embarrassing.

notes. a fair warning for the google translated french.im sorry if it sucks 😭😭 its my first time doing something like this and i really hope u like it :3 ALSO??? OSCAR WIN IN BAKU WAS SO BEAUTIFUL THE OVERTAKE?? THE DEFENDING?? a great day for piastrination!!!!! (can you tell i totally dig x leclerc!reader??) send requests for more smaus pls :)

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, arthur_leclerc and 127 621 others.

yourusername spreading the rbr agenda on the streets of kyoto, because your girl finally graduated journalism and engineering with honours!

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arthur_leclerc charles just saw the jacket and had an aneurysm LMAO

user1 someone check on leclerc pls

charles_leclerc cant believe my OWN baby sister wears that in public

yourusername ill take it off once ferrari releases their own energy drink 👍

alexandrasaintmleux gorgeous as usual ❤️

yourusername please dump my brother and date me instead

yourusername please i beg you

yourusername JUST ONE CHANCE 😭😭😣😣😣😭😭

user2 yn is one of us

maxverstappen1 looking good in blue! 💙

loved by author!

yourbff girl land that job or you gon go broke soon with that red bull addiction 👎👎👎

user3 atp yn is sponsoring the team 😭

yourbff you bet she is, girl

user4 double major in such different things pop off queen

user5 need to see her in paddock cos i know the girl is bout to argue with ferrari engineers

yourusername bin*tto left ferrari cos he knew i would drag him down 😁😁😁

user6 love how we had to go thru the 2023 drought without the baby leclerc and now shes baaaack

user7 fr i missed the times when ferrari wasnt the only thing making charles miserable

user7 congratulations on graduating queen!!!! cant wait for the new vid or to see u at one of the races 🥺

user8 im sorry im really new to f1 stuff who is she and why are the drivers here? 😭

user9 this is charlies sister yn!! but she has her youtube channel where she used to post a lot of diff stuff! shes been living in japan for the past four years of her undergrad degrees but due to the workload she had a hiatus for a year 💔💔 u should check out her channel its so cool

arthur_leclerc

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 320 612 others.

arthur_leclerc good day in monaco today, changing professions to a photographer rn, what u think of that?

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user10 arthur you had one job to bring your sister to paddock…

user11 its just friday girl calm down

yourusername please restrain yourself from posting pictures of that ugly face you see in the mirror

yourusername …WHO IS IN THE SECOND SLIDE

yourusername ARTHUR ANSWER ME

yourusername my ovaries are quacking rn ARTHUR ANSWER ME

user12 not yn simping over oscar AND calling arthur ugly 😭😭😭

user13 shes so me tbh

charles_leclerc such a handsome man on the third slide 🔥🔥🔥

olliebearman why is yn tweaking like that 😭

yourusername cos he’s so pretty

oscarpiastri you were supposed to send me the picture not POST IT

user14 this is the guy yourusername 🔥‼️‼️

yourusername omg hes SO gorgeous

oscarpiastri thank you…?

arthur_leclerc yourusername please stop embarrassing the family name

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon and 101 892 others.

yourusername a quick pit stop in paris before the monaco course is broken!!!!!! (source: trust me bro 🙂‍↕️) drinking for my pookie dookiest brother to secure that pole and p1 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

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yourusername dont let the caption fool you, i am NOT stopping drinking vodka red bull to make sure rbr doesn’t lose their biggest sponsor (me)

maxverstappen1 ty for your service 🫡🫡

yourusername no prob pookie, lecfosi by association but a red bull girlie at heart 😌😌

yourusername big thanks to the autocorrect ❤️❤️❤️ youre the real one babe 🔥🔥🔥

user15 wait till she realises oscar is in the likes…

user16 ohh the girl is gonna be so messy 😭😭😭

user16 im all for it tho 🔥

lilymhe WHAT A GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GIRL

alexandrasaintmleux face card is never denied!

user17 oscar in the likes 🥹🥹

yourusername WHO IS IN THE LIKES??????

yourusername NOO OH MY GOD HES HERE

yourusername HI YOURE SUPER CUTE oscarpiastri

user18 SHE TAGGED HIM LOL

user19 she really want that dick…

yourusername i just think hes cute that is NOT a crime

oscarpiastri i think you’re really cute too :)

yourusername HXJSKSJJDBDJSJS

yourusername sorry a red bull ran across my screen 😭

arthur_leclerc yourbff please tell her she’s not as slick as she thinks she is

twitter

user20 what do you expect 😭😭 she probably partied all night before getting to monaco

user21 LMAOO RIGHT??? but if you watched her vids you know that the girl LOVES an opportunity for a party

user22 yn stronger than me because i’d kiss him on the spot

user23 alr weirdo… they JUST met

user24 he is probably weirded out like imagine meeting a girl who SIMPS over you in the insta comments… she needs to chill

user25 he won’t pick you 👎👎

user26 gtfo if he was weirded out he wouldnt be in the likes of her post or sayin he thinks shes cute lol

user27 the real gentleman out there 🥹🥹

user28 i need them together asap

user29 super delulu but i totally dig the golden retriever gf x polite black cat bf

user30 OMGGG I TOTALLY SEE THE VISION

user31 pls they just met and he was just being polite 👎 stop trying to get into their lives

yourusername

liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 428 621 others.

yourusername HE DID IT!!!! I TOLD YALL THAT HE WOULD DO IT!!! MY BROTHER WINS IN MONACO. DONT HIT US UP FOR THE NEXT WEEK OR TWO!!! ITS CELEBRATION TIME!!!! aussi, charlie, il n'y a pas beaucoup de mots capables d'exprimer à quel point je suis fier de toi. vous l'avez fait et personne ne peut vous l'enlever.

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priniya translation! also, charlie — there isn’t an amount of words able to express how proud i am of you. you did it and no one can take it away from you.

user32 girlie might tell everyone she’s a red bull girl, but like the king sebastian once said, everyone is a ferrari fan even when they say they’re not or something like that 🔥🔥🔥

user33 CONGRATULATIONS CHARLES!!! FINALLY WON!!!

carlossainz55 ay cropped my ‘carlos p3’ out 😖😖

yourusername this is a celebration post for my pookiest brother you are IRRELEVANT rn

carlossainz55 that was harsh

yourusername win YOUR home race and i’ll post one 4 u 👍👍

charles_leclerc je t’aime mon lutin ❤️

yourusername je t’aime mon coco 🫶🫶🫶

oscarpiastri congratulations to the man of the day, such an honour to stand next to you on the podium xx

arthur_leclerc man you gotta stop commenting on her posts, she’s going insane rn

oscarpiastri i’m sorry…?

yourusername NO DONT BE SORRY DONT LISTEN TO HIM IM COMPLETELY SANE

yourusername oscarpiastri please keep interacting with me i’m gonna die if you listen to arthur

oscarpiastri i guess i gotta text you now and then to make sure you don’t die

yourusername please do that

user34 do they know we can see that??

user35 idc im eating this up

user36 oscaryn truthers rise and shine

user37 atp i cant tell if hes interested or if hes doing that for his own entertainment

user38 probably both

user39 i LOVE how a celebration post for charles turned into an opportunity to flirt with oscar 😭😭

user40 she is NOT stronger than me because if i had a chance i’d took it

user41 setting her priorities straight

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 792 721 others.

oscarpiastri a quick but very much needed pit stop before zandvoort

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user42 someone check on yn ASAP

user43 yn one of us once again because we couldn’t bag oscar either 😭

user44 can yall stop talking abt that girl FOR ONCE no one gaf

landonorris looking good mate

liked by the author!

yourusername pls tell me you found more of these beautiful seashells and brought some back for me

oscarpiastri we did actually! y immediately thought abt you and picked the pretty ones

yourusername GOD. i love her give her a big hug from me

oscarpiastri will do maam 🫡🫡

user45 so it’s not yn in the pics?? NOOOOO

user46 my life is ruined rn

user47 throwing oscaryn into a memory box because oscar and his gf looks really cute together

charles_leclerc hope you had a great summer mate

oscarpiastri the best 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

user48 what if they r just trolling us because this caption looks really similar to the one yn posted before monaco???

user49 OMGGG YOURE ONTO SOMETHING

user50 hopefully on the way to the psych ward because this is some delulu shit

user51 soft launch over the summer 🥹🥹 hes so cute

user52 whoever his girl is, i just hope they’re happy and yall should too!

yourusername also plsplspls can y send me the id to the top?? it looks so cute from the back

user53 girl he wont choose you stop trying so hard 😭😭

user54 they can be friends ? lol

user55 does someone knows who the girl is???? i need to know its not yn 😭😭

user56 georgerussell63 tell us what you know 🫵🫵

georgerussell63 🤐🤐🤐

alex_albon he’s actually crying and gritting his teeth because he’d LOVE to tell

gossipracegirl

liked by georgerussell63, user57 and 87 621 others.

gossipracegirl a rumour has it that a driver for formula one with a number eighty one was seen getting cozy with one of his on-track rival’s little sister, while in a relationship. was it a drunken mistake or was it all planned?

tagged oscarpiastri yourusername

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user58 something is really wrong with leclercs one is a homie hopper and second is a homewrecker LOL

user59 shouldve happened in monaco so the people could get detained for invading their priacy like wtf WHO CARES

user60 all she do is bring bad pr to oscar BOO👎👎👎

user61 nooo oscar pookie you were supposed to be free from drama 😭😭

user62 gr63 in the likes LMAOO

user63 not yn being a homewrecker girl i liked u sm 😭😭

user64 yall acting like she’s in the wrong ? it gotta be consensual if they looked that chill n happy

user65 no wonder why yn has been streaming olivia rodrigo RELIGIOUSLY

user66 isnt that some type of incest atp?

user67 LMAOO imagine making out with your brother’s adopted son

yourusername

liked by pascale_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 273 811 others.

yourusername YALL THOUGHT. it was me all along :P i was giggling n kicking my feet pretending i know osco’s gf while it was ME. summer break vlog with osco coming up sooner than u think so please stop calling me a homewrecker 😖😖😖

also, girls don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, being yourself is what gets you an amazing guy even if your brother thinks youre embarrassing <3

tagged oscarpiastri

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georgerussell63 ty for not SLACKING OFF anymore i barely could hold it inside 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

yourusername you told HALF the grid be for real brother you DID NOT hold it inside

fransisca.gomes no way oscar bagged you before i could 😭😭😭😭

yourusername i’m always gonna be yours kiks no one could take you away from me <3

francisca.gomes <3

pierregasly really thought getting u a bf would mean you leave MY girl alone

yourusername thinking is not your best thing, stick to racing

user68 shit user48 YOU WERE RIGHT

user48 NEVER DOUBT ME BITCHES

user69 this text?? oh he is down bad for you girl

user70 i need all of those bitches who called yn a homewrecker to APOLOGISE like rn

oscarpiastri thank you for letting me be a part of your life like this

user71 i know the girl is GIGGLING rn

yourusername thank YOU for making a part of YOUR life

user72 get yourself a man who THANKS you for being with you

user73 oscar piastri is the MAN

user74 osco 🥹🥹

user75 theyre the cutest your honour

arthur_leclerc cant believe you two are actually together

arthur_leclerc what is WRONG with you oscarpiastri

user76 SO OPPOSITES DOES ATTRACT

charles_leclerc i feel like i should tear those adoption papers apart no?

user77 nicole and pascale in the likes omg the moms r proud 🥹

hattiepiastri i miss youuuu come back to aus soon

yourusername I MISS YOU TOO 😭😭 i’ll be back soon!!

lorenzotl ❤️❤️❤️

liked by the author!

lilymhe double date when?

yourusername mark your calendar, we’ll be there 🫶

user78 does it mean we lose our favorite rbr girlie? 😭😭😭😖😖

user79 mclaren YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM US 🫵

yourusername i am NOT wearing that ugly orange for a MAN (even if hes super gorgeous and sweet)

mclaren ☹️☹️☹️

landonorris it’s papaya

yourusername “it’s papaya” ☝️🤓

landonorris oscarpiastri please break up with her or you’re gonna be paying for my therapy

oscarpiastri send the bill mate, i’m in for the longest ride possible here

[king-candybug-backup]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF OVER HERE, I LOVE THIS SO MUCH OMG!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!

FANART FOR @king-candybug-backup !!!!

And I also made some picture of Kill Switch-Chapter7!!!!!This is my FAVORITE PART OF IT YEAHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE IT I LOVE YOUR AU CONCEPT SOOO MUCH!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️😭✨✨

ahhh sorry my English sucks I don't really know how to express my feeling correctly...

[skyartworkzzz]

How would your narilamb shitten look like?

Also can we get Webber design? He always was a honorary shitten to me, love the freaky little guy and lamb would definitely adopt him

WELL AT LAST I FIND MYSELF FORCED TO ENTERTAIN THE IDEA OF A SHITTEN ASUDNAMSDLKD

Here chu go!

I doodled them for funsies a while while WHILE back for an ask but actually liked the design so now we have a more fleshed out version yall are very welcome USNSMAKDD

Anyways this is Azzy u cannot tell whether hes a menace or not until they do smtng Hes a sweetheart to their parents tho and they love him very much <3

AS FOR WEBBER I do agree he is an Honorary Shitten LMAO

Heres my version of him! :D

TRIED BASING HIM ON HIS DST'S Counterpart so heres a few headcanons under the cut!

- I like to think that he refers to himself as we/us cuz of the lil spider friends that follow him around at all times - He loves hanging around adults the most and tries to be as helpful as he can to them on their duties! - Despite willing to help others, Webber may sometimes cause troubles for stealing things to build strange machineries with or simply to try and- eat them. Hes quite the hungry lil fella - Speaks in an ancient language which only Shamura is fluent in, so not many are able to understand him (aside from Lamb, who has mind reading powers). He is being taught sign language for this reason - If it ever comes to this scenario and Webber finds himself in the woods, I like to think that he would befriend the spider monsters and play with them. So its Lambert frantically looking around for Webber and finding him hanging upside down at Silk Cradle while laughing with his new monster-spider friends xD - He hangs around the cemetery sometimes to go bone-hunting with his lil spiders and also to make some company to Hermer (my undertaker, the bear yall see in the doodles ILL FINISH HIS DESIGN EVENTUALLY-)

Hopefully one day Ill show how he came to be at the cult, I like to think it was a total accident LMAO

OH and he would definitely be friends with Azzy when older, I imagine them as siblings of sorts teehee <3

[brunchable]

POV: You're sucked into your Fanfic - Part Two

《 The plot goes off the rails. 》

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Writer!fReader

Themes: Comedy - Chaotic Duo (mainly y/n), breaking 4th wall. Fanfic Bucky meets his writer.

Summary: Y/N, now fully aware she’s in her fanfic, tries to navigate the villain’s role but is terrible at it. Y/N tries to sabotage one of the villain’s main plans but accidentally makes things worse.

A/N: Y/N is just a clown at this point LMAO.

tags: @winterslove1917 @zeeader @iamdedsthingz @hzdhrtss @almosttoopizza

@yiiiikesmish

You’ve come to terms with the fact that you’re in your own fanfic, but now comes the hard part: pretending to be the villain you wrote, a role you’re quickly realizing you’re terrible at.

“I can do this,” you mutter to yourself as you pace around your lair—or, well, the lair you wrote. “I wrote the villain. I know how to be evil... right?”

The words sound hollow even to your own ears, but you try to psych yourself up. After all, you can’t be that bad at playing the character you created... right?

Wrong.

You freeze at a loud thud echoing through the room. Oh no. That’s probably Bucky—or maybe the rest of the Avengers—coming to crash this part of the story. You know what comes next: an epic confrontation, full of dramatic one-liners and battle-ready glares. A perfect opportunity for your villain character to show off her menacing charm.

Only problem? You’re about as menacing as a kitten wearing a cape.

You glance toward the entrance, heart racing. Okay, play it cool, you can pull this off.

But deep down, you’re still reeling from the last time you faced Bucky. You were supposed to be locked in a super high-tech Avengers prison, right? Yeah. That lasted a grand total of two hours, mostly because your minions—and you use the term very loosely—broke you out.

To be fair, you didn’t even know you had minions. You didn’t exactly plan for that when you wrote the story. But, apparently, your villain character does. And when they broke you out, it was less like a well-executed heist and more like a disorganized clown car unloading directly into a high-security facility.

Imagine the worst rescue you can think of. Now multiply it by ten, add three explosions that were definitely not supposed to happen, and you have a vague idea of how badly it went. There were henchmen tripping over each other, one of them got stuck in the ventilation shaft, and another one kept calling you "Supreme Evil Leader," which felt flattering but... also very awkward.

To make matters worse, Bucky—looking all intense and broody, because of course he does—caught up with you right as you were awkwardly sliding into the escape vehicle, and the confrontation? Oh, it was a mess. 

You tried to give him a villainous speech about how “this isn’t over,” but it came out more like, “I’m... uh... not done here! Watch out!”

Then one of your minions set off a smoke bomb before anyone was ready, and you tripped over your own feet trying to make a dramatic exit. Classic villain move? Not quite. You barely made it out without face-planting.

So yeah. That’s where you’re at. This is round two, and you’re really hoping to do better this time.

Another thud echoes through the room. You swallow hard.

Okay, no more bumbling. This time, I’m going to deliver the villainous performance of a lifetime. 

You scramble to the center of the room and try to remember what your villainous character would say. You did write this scene, after all. It’s just... harder to do it when you’re living it. Especially when you know Bucky is about to walk in, all brooding and muscle-y.

Maybe if I just stand here and look mysterious? That’s evil, right? Just stare into the distance like I’m plotting something dark.

As the door bursts open and Bucky strides in, guns blazing (literally, because of course he’s carrying), you raise a hand, attempting to look menacing. “Aha! Bucky Barnes... we meet again!”

He pauses mid-step, raising an eyebrow. “You’re... dramatic.”

Damn it! Why did I write such terrible dialogue?

You cringe internally, but you push on. “Yes, well... I’m a villain. That’s what we do, right? Be dramatic?”

He’s not buying it. “Is this supposed to scare me?” His tone is flat, his expression unreadable.

You fumble for a comeback. “I—I mean, of course! You should be terrified of my... evil...ness.” You gesture vaguely around the lair, hoping it looks more intimidating than it feels.

Bucky takes another step forward, his metal arm gleaming under the dim lighting. “You don’t seem very sure of yourself.”

Great.

“I’m very sure!” you snap, but even you don’t believe yourself. You can feel your composure slipping. This is not how it was supposed to go. You were supposed to deliver a chilling monologue and strike fear into the heart of your enemies.

Instead, all you can think about is how Bucky’s muscles look even better in person.

Focus! You’re supposed to be evil! Stop mentally cataloging his biceps!

Bucky crosses his arms, clearly waiting for you to say something intimidating, but your brain is short-circuiting. 

“Look,” you start, hoping to salvage the situation, “maybe we could just... skip the whole fighting thing? We’re all tired, right? How about we just, I don’t know, chat?”

He blinks, clearly confused. “Chat?”

“Yeah!” you nod enthusiastically, jumping on this new plan. “You know, talk it out. No need for violence. I’m sure we can... negotiate.”

Bucky narrows his eyes. “You’re stalling again.”

“Stalling? Me? No way!” You laugh nervously. “Okay, fine, maybe a little. But in my defense, I wasn’t expecting you to look this... uh, intense.”

He steps closer, clearly not amused. “You’re the worst villain I’ve ever met.”

“How many times are you going to say that?,” you groan, throwing your hands up. “I didn’t ask for this! Well, technically I did because I wrote it, but now that I’m living it, it’s way harder than it seemed when I was typing it up, okay?”

Bucky stares at you, utterly confused, as you ramble. “You wrote what?”

“Never mind,” you mutter, waving him off. “The point is, being evil is exhausting, and I’m not cut out for it.”

Bucky looks at you like you’ve lost your mind—which, honestly, you probably have at this point. You’re clearly not doing a great job of selling the “evil mastermind” role.

“Okay,” you say, standing up straighter, trying one last time to get back into character. “You know what? Let’s forget all that. Let’s just get back on track, okay?”

You strike a dramatic pose, trying to regain some villainous dignity. “Behold, Bucky Barnes, for you will never escape my clutches! Mwahaha—”

Before you can even finish your half-hearted evil laugh, the ground beneath you starts shaking. You freeze.

“Oh no,” you whisper, realizing that you’ve accidentally triggered the next phase of your villain’s grand plan—which you totally forgot about.

The lair begins transforming around you, mechanical arms lowering from the ceiling, hidden weapons emerging from the walls. 

What did I even write here? You try to remember, but it’s been too long, and you wrote so many twists and turns into this plot.

Bucky raises an eyebrow as the chaos unfolds. “This part of the plan?”

You wince. “Uh... yes? I mean, obviously.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “You don’t even know what’s happening, do you?”

“Not... exactly,” you admit sheepishly. “It’s been a while since I wrote this, okay? But look, I’m sure it’ll all work out in my favor.”

Just then, a panel on the wall opens up, revealing a countdown timer with large, glowing red numbers. Your heart sinks. Oh no. Not the countdown!

Bucky notices the timer and shoots you a look. “What happens when that hits zero?”

You scratch the back of your neck. “Um, you’re not gonna like this, but... I think it triggers some sort of self-destruct sequence? Maybe. I’m not entirely sure.”

Bucky glares at you. “You think?”

“Look, I was going for high stakes when I wrote it, okay? I didn’t expect to actually be here!” you blurt out, throwing your hands up.

He groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re a disaster.”

“I know! But it’s not my fault! Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep your villain persona together when you’re staring at all this?” You gesture to him dramatically, feeling flustered. “You’re like... ripped.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, clearly caught off guard by your sudden compliment. “Excuse me?”

“I said what I said!” you huff. “You’re ripped, and it’s distracting, okay?”

He shakes his head, still looking at you like you’re crazy. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I’ve been told that before,” you reply with a grin, trying to distract him while you figure out what to do next. “But seriously, can we stop the countdown? Because I really don’t want to blow up right now.”

Bucky takes a step forward, eyes narrowing. “Then stop playing around and fix this.”

You fumble for the control panel, desperately pressing buttons at random. The countdown speeds up, and you wince. 

“Oh no, I think I made it worse.”

Bucky grabs your wrist, yanking you away from the panel. “Stop touching things if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“YOU TOLD ME TO FIX THIS!” you protest, but Bucky’s death glare shuts you up immediately. You shrink back, feeling the weight of his grip on your wrist as he pulls you away from the panel.

“You’re making it worse,” he growls, letting go of you. “Just… stand there and do nothing.”

You cross your arms, pouting. “Not my fault this whole thing’s a dumpster fire. I wrote it, but I didn’t think I’d have to live it.”

Bucky ignores your muttering as he works on the control panel, trying to figure out how to disable the countdown. You watch him for a moment, eyes trailing over his arms as they flex with every movement.

Focus, Y/N. Now’s not the time for ogling. Well… maybe just a little ogling.

"How are you so calm during all this?” you ask, hoping to break the tension—and maybe sneak in a little more flirting. “I mean, you’re literally disarming a self-destruct sequence with those gorgeous, dangerous hands of yours. It’s honestly distracting.”

Bucky doesn’t even look up, but you swear you see a flicker of a smirk. “You’re the one who set this off in the first place. Shouldn’t you be handling it?”

“Look, if you weren’t here being all Captain Broody and Muscles McGee, maybe I could think straight,” you snap back. “I can’t be held responsible for the chaos you create just by standing there.”

He finally glances at you, eyebrow raised. “You’re blaming me?”

“Well, yeah!” you say, gesturing wildly. “I was trying to be a villain, but have you seen yourself? How am I supposed to be evil when you look like you just stepped out of a superhero calendar?”

Bucky rolls his eyes, turning back to the control panel, but you catch a flicker of amusement in his expression. You might be bad at villainy, but at least you’re good at throwing him off.

You lean back against the wall, pretending to be casual as your heart pounds in your chest. “So... once we stop the countdown and we’re not blown to smithereens, what do you say we grab a drink? You know, to celebrate not dying.”

“Do you ever stop talking?” Bucky mutters, still focused on the panel.

“I’ll stop talking when you stop being hot,” you fire back without missing a beat.

Bucky finally stops what he’s doing and looks at you, one eyebrow raised in disbelief. “Are you flirting with me right now? While we’re about to blow up?”

You give him a sheepish grin. “Hey, if we’re going down, might as well go out swinging. Or... flirting.”

“Unbelievable,” Bucky mutters under his breath before turning back to the countdown. With one final movement, he manages to disable the timer, and the red numbers blink out.

You let out a long breath, slumping in relief. “Okay, so maybe I didn’t entirely screw things up.”

Bucky stands up straight, glaring at you with his arms crossed. “You almost killed us.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t,” you say, flashing him a grin. “So technically, I saved us. You’re welcome.”

“You’re impossible.”

“I prefer ‘charmingly chaotic,’” you reply with a wink. “But sure, impossible works too.”

Bucky shakes his head, clearly exasperated. “You’re lucky you didn’t blow up your own lair.”

“See? Lucky. I’m like a walking good luck charm,” you say, giving him a playful nudge. “So, about that drink—”

“Not happening,” he interrupts, cutting you off.

You sigh dramatically. “You’re no fun.”

Bucky steps closer, leaning in so his face is just inches from yours. For a split second, you think he might actually be considering it. But then he says, “You still owe me for almost killing us. Get moving before I change my mind.”

You blink up at him, trying to ignore how flustered you feel. “You know, for someone who’s supposed to be a hero, you’re awfully grumpy.”

“And for someone who’s supposed to be a villain, you’re terrible at it,” he shoots back.

You can’t help but grin. “Fair point. But hey, I never said I was good at being bad. I’m more of a... chaotic neutral.”

Bucky shakes his head again and walks toward the door, clearly done with the conversation. “Let’s go. And try not to trigger another self-destruct sequence.”

Before you can even muster a comeback—probably something sarcastic about how it’s hard to be a villain when you’re distracted by muscles—you suddenly feel a strange tug, like someone’s yanking you backward by an invisible rope.

Your eyes widen. “Wait, what—”

The room starts spinning. One second, you’re staring at Bucky’s very serious, very grumpy face, and the next, it feels like the entire lair is collapsing around you. Everything blurs together in a whirl of colors and lights.

“OH MY GOD, AM I DYING?!” you scream, arms flailing as you try to hold onto something, anything. But there’s nothing. Not even Bucky’s annoyed expression to anchor you.

For a brief, panicked moment, you’re convinced this is it. This is how you go out. Flung into the void for writing bad fanfiction. What a way to go.

Then, with a pop, you land face-first into... your bed.

You blink, completely disoriented. “Wait... what just happened?”

Your laptop sits open beside you, the fanfic document staring you in the face like it’s mocking you. Your head is spinning, your heart racing, and you slowly sit up, still convinced you might be hallucinating.

“No way...” you mutter, glancing around your bedroom, taking in the very non-evil surroundings. The smell of laundry detergent. The sound of traffic outside. Your cat, Felix, staring at you from the corner with a look that clearly says, What the hell was that?

“I’m... back?” You pat yourself down, making sure you’re all in one piece. No villain outfit, no lair, no brooding super-soldiers demanding you fix things. Just... reality.

It hits you like a ton of bricks. “Oh my God, I got kicked out of my own fanfic.”

You collapse backward onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I didn’t even get to redeem myself! Or finish flirting with Bucky! Not that I was doing a good job, but still!”

Felix hops onto the bed and meows at you, completely unimpressed with your current existential crisis.

You groan, pulling the laptop onto your lap and staring at the screen. “Well... I guess this is better than being trapped in my own chaotic, terrible story. But man, I was so close to redeeming myself. Kinda.”

Felix bats at your laptop as if to remind you of your priorities.

“Fine, fine,” you mutter, fingers hovering over the keyboard. “I guess I’ll just... write the rest of the story like a normal person.”

You pause, glancing at Felix. “Do you think Bucky misses me?”

Felix’s blank stare is the only response you get.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you sigh dramatically. “He probably doesn’t even remember me. I didn’t even get to finish my evil monologue.”

You sit up on your bed, still reeling from your sudden ejection from the fanfic world. Your brain is buzzing with one thought: I need to go back.

Sure, your villainous arc had gone off the rails, but you were so close to turning things around. And, let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to try a redemption arc when it means more time with Bucky?

You rub your temples, staring at your laptop like it holds the secrets of the universe. “Okay, okay... maybe if I just... concentrate hard enough, I can get back in. That’s how it works, right?”

Felix watches you with his usual disapproving stare as you gather all the determination you can muster and lean in toward the laptop screen.

“Come on, just suck me back into the fanfic,” you mutter, inching closer to the screen, squinting at it as if somehow willing yourself back into the story would do the trick. “Please?”

Nothing.

You frown. “Alright, time for desperate measures.”

With a deep breath, you slam your forehead into the laptop screen.

Thud.

“Ow!” you yelp, clutching your head as Felix meows at you like, What is wrong with you?

“That didn’t work,” you mutter, rubbing your forehead. “Okay, let’s try something else.”

You get up, pacing back and forth. “What did I do last time? Maybe if I type something... yeah, that’s it! I’ll just type myself back in!”

You sit back down, hands flying over the keyboard as you try to rewrite yourself back into the fanfic.

“Y/N is sucked back into the story... um... gracefully and... with a cool villain pose!” you type, nodding to yourself. “Yeah, perfect.”

You press enter with a dramatic flourish and then wait.

...

Nothing happens.

You stare at the screen, blinking. “Okay, rude.”

Felix hops up onto the desk, flicking his tail in annoyance as if to say, Even I know this is a terrible plan.

“Oh, shut up,” you grumble at the cat, shaking your head. “Maybe it needs more drama.”

You jump up from your chair and dramatically yell, “I SUMMON THEE, FANFICTION WORLD! BRING ME BACK TO BUCKY!”

Felix stares at you, completely unimpressed.

Still nothing.

“Why is this so hard?” you groan, leaning over your laptop like you’re trying to psychically connect with it. “Come on, take me back! Just throw me back into the chaos! I’ll do better this time, I swear!”

In a fit of frustration, you try slapping the screen. Then gently caressing it. Then hugging the laptop like it’s some magical portal that just needs a little love.

Felix meows again, this time louder, as if to say, Seriously, stop embarrassing yourself.

“Fine!” you huff, letting go of the laptop. “Maybe I need to... I don’t know, meditate my way back in. Channel my inner villain.”

You sit cross-legged on the bed, closing your eyes and breathing deeply. “I am a powerful, misunderstood villainess. Bucky Barnes cannot resist my charm. Take me baaaaack...”

Silence.

Your eyes pop open and you look around. Still in your bedroom. Felix gives you an unimpressed side-eye.

“Ugh!” you groan, throwing yourself backward onto the bed in defeat. “I’m stuck here. Forever.”

Then, out of nowhere, your phone buzzes. You lazily grab it, fully prepared to ignore the world, when you see the time.

Your eyes widen in horror. “Oh no... I’m late for work!”

You leap off the bed, tossing Felix an apologetic look. “Sorry, gotta go! Villainy will have to wait! Please don’t tell anyone how badly this went!”

In your panic, you nearly trip over your slippers as you rush to grab your bag and dash for the door, realizing that while you might have been kicked out of your fanfic, real life is waiting—and it doesn’t care how close you were to a redemption arc.

As you race to get ready, you can’t help but mumble to yourself, “I swear, next time I get sucked into a fanfic, I’m writing myself as the hero... and with a better wake-up plan.”

[whirlpool-blogs]

whirlpool's personal fic recs, part 2

well, it's been a minute since the first time I did this, so here's some more great fics I've read since then.

(this is a totally fresh list! if by chance you see a repeat from part 1, it's only because there's been an update to it since then)

-> Please let me know if any of my links are messed up, or if I got a tumblr handle wrong!

rarepairs/3somes/from perspective of other characters:

Biggest Dick on Base by @impalachick (Crosby/Bucky) you guys. this one is soooo hot. oh the dialogue is sooooo good. as the author says, "It's canon that Croz and Egan are the two horniest guys in the 100th" and this fic NAILS it!

dancing cheek to cheek (to cheek) by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky/Buck) Curt POV and it's soooo good, equal weight is given to the Curtbucky of it all, and there's this summering electricity in the Curtgale, and the Buckbucky devotion is so real, it's a true threesome fic and author absolutely nailed it!! also start taking your chances in the same series, WHEW!

I Get A Feeling That I Never Had Before by @darkimpala1897 (Clegan+Hambone) 978 words, so it's short but sweet! Funny and original and creative, and like, of COURSE this is how Buck discovers his feelings for Bucky & Ham.

Learning Curve by @hogans-heroes Clegan through the perspective of Alex Jefferson, explores his friendships with Buck and Bucky, and his observations of them from an outside view! Really heartbreaking and sweet and touching, such a great writing style.

Pegasus by merle_p (Rosie/Bucky) Egan is an absolute horny menace and a terrible authority figure sometimes lmao, and this fic gets it! Loved the characterization in this one. And the ending is just <3

Render Me a Wreck by @almost-a-class-act (Brady/Bucky) you guysssss you GUYSSSSSSS you KNOW I love me a Brady fic and holy shit this one is IT! this one is IT!!!! absolute masterpiece that comes roaring out of the gate and never lets up. a must-read!

save yours, and take mine from me by @corrosivesaints (Brady/Bucky) another Brady fic and I loveeeeee it!!! this author absolutely nails Brady's prickly little personality and the mutual trust and attraction between him and Bucky. and not just trust to not turn each other in, trust as in knowing they need to keep each other ALIVE. which is basically love. as the author said, "guys who are not normal about each other and never will be" <3

Squared Away by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky) wheeee you know i love me some John whump, and luckily Curt is there to give him what he needs <3 such a vivid writing style, love it!

the vein in my neck adores you by @galetops (Harding/Bucky) hardingbucky hARDINGBUCKY AAAAAAAAAAA!!!! bro!!!!!! oh it's so delicious, power abuse is one of my fave tropes and John gets fuckeddddddd OVER in this one. gripping. devastating tbh.

Would You Mind? by @johnslittlespoon @nicijones (Ken/Bucky and then Ken/Bucky/Gale) HOT! hot! HOT!!!!!! oh god I was literally melting....... KenBucky is so big brained and the way the authors characterize them is just. so good. did I mention it's HOT??!!?!?!

Clegan+Marge:

A Big Surprise by @sweaterkittensahoy (PerpetualMotion) (Clegan+Marge) MARGE GETS THE STRAP OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! biggest yeah buddy ever!!!!!!!

A Horse is Not a Home by @fascinationstrt (Clegan+Marge) Lovely and sweet, explores their post-war trauma and all of them coming together to support each other and also like. literally coming together. hee hee!!

Barefoot and Bareback by @soliloquy-dawn aaaaabrhrfhgh it's so HOT and physical and playful and fun!!! love the little notes of dom/sub floating in and out, truly just feels like you're watching something sweet and sexy between 3 people who love each other!

clegan fics:

3am eternal by @feyd-meowtha 90s club scene AU, oooff it gets messy, deals with the consequences of John's substance abuse and Gale's avoidance and overall both of their lack of communication, and god!! it's so good

a thousand feet per second by anonymous Sub Gale, Dom Bucky and it's delicioussssss, Gale is not doing well <3

another version of me, I was in it by @majorbuckyegan (brianmaybrianmay) post-war, hurt/comfort sex after Bucky has a nightmare reliving running through the forest. love when Gale gently leads Bucky to where he needs to go!!

baby doll eyes by @ladybundle John gets smashed on stalag hooch and ohhh it's hot and sad and beautiful and full of yearning!!!

Baby I’m on Fire & Keep Me Forever by @oopsiedaisiesbaby Teacher Gale and Student John (not underage fic) and yeesh!!! both of them are a menace tbh and I lovedddd both of these!!!

Before the Dawn by @atlanticslide THE stalag fic, like when I envision them in the stalag, it always turns out that I am just remembering something from this fic!!! especially the parts where they are in separate compounds and talking through the fence!?!?! like ouch. like wow. a slowwww burn and it's so worth it!

Branded by @hogans-heroes Gale stalag whump and protective Buckyyyyyyyyyy <3 oh my heart!!!! so good!!!

crossroads by @shipstorms (ipsilateral) has a BoB tag but you don't need any BoB knowledge for this fic!! Bucky and his unrequited love for Gale and it's ouch....it's oh.... I definitely recommend for the beautiful writing!

diamond eyes by @vveissesfleisch (cunninglinguist) whewwwwww dom gale and sub john and it's awesome!! jealousy and desperation and then getting their shit together in the end <3

Extinct Animals by @feyd-meowtha Mad Max AU, but as someone who has 0% familiarity of Max Max franchise, I can assure you no background knowledge is needed. this fic is BRUTAL. this fic is CRAZY!! it's heartbreaking and feral and raw and everyone is clawing for survival and it's soooooo well-written!

futile devices by @drylite ohhhhhh this one will forever be famous in my mind, John gets sick in the stalag and Gale takes care of him but it's so much more than that, this fic is HUGE to me, the feelings and John's descent into his stalag spiral, it's all so beautifully written!!

He Calls Me Bunny by @johnslittlespoon modern AU, John wears a bunny costume to their college Halloween party and Gale fucks him about it <33333333333 HEART EYES FOR THIS FIC!

hit me where the heart is by @london-cowboy / @luckydeuce Ohhhhh my god this fic. THIS FIC!!! modern BDSM AU, John is a medevac helicopter pilot who once transported Gale from a horrible private plane crash, and then they encounter again years later -- but like. ALSO THERE'S SO MANY OTHER THINGS GOING ON AND IT'S ALL MIND-BLOWING!!! past fucked-up Harding/John and current Harding/Gale and that's just the tip of the iceberg. so good. sooooooo good.

i followed fires by @swifty-fox Wild West/spooky supernatural AU. suing for emotional damages!!!!!! genuinely cried from this fic. and not just sniffle sniffle dab at my eyes. I'm talking tears streaming down my face, can't see anymore, this fic is HOLY SHIT WOW.

I think the love I bear you should make you not to die by @amiserableseriesofevents (WonderGinia) soooooo heartwrenching, multiple timelines and so many times they get so close but then lose each other

if it feels like love (then it must be love) by @rangerelizabeth College AU and it's a goddamn masterpiece!! John is Gale's RA and Gale navigates dorm life and college life and a new relationship and it's just. such a great journey from start to end!

jump the gun by @swifty-fox Part 2 of Outlaw AU (highly recommend Part 1 as well, obviously!) and whoa. hits you right in the gut. love love loveeee how swifty weaves the parallels between show canon and this au, while also keeping it super fresh and creative and you never know what's gonna happen next! there's one particular line that absolutely BROKE me......such a good read

kinktober 2024 by anonymous Goddddd. GODDDDDDDDD. Every time I got an update email for this fic, it was like get hand-delivered a delicious slice of chocolate cake that also happened to encompass like every single dirty kink and fantasy I've ever wanted to read???? author is big-brained. author is living in the 4th dimension. READ THESE!!

kiss my cheek, and pretend we're lovers by @euph0riacc Modern Au - Iraq War, and it's soooo creative and the desert setting is so well-described and the whole ensemble is weaved into this new imagining so well!! truly so creative and so well-executed, highly recommend a read!

knuckleball by @drylite PIT STUFF!!!!!!! PIT STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PIT STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! let me tell you i was screaming pretty much through my entire reading experience of this. did i mention. pIT STUFF??????????????

let us not desert one another; we are an injured body by @irregularcollapse cannibalism fic oh my godddd oh it's sickeninggggg (positive) it's crazy (positive) it's insane (positive)!!

Looking for Eight by @weimarweekly (VoluptuousPanic) modeln rodeo AU. absolutely blows my mind, every single chapter is so perfectly written, it's vivid and it's sweet and it's truly alive!! definitely take your time to savor each paragraph...so worth it.

love means nothing (in tennis) by @irregularcollapse this was in my part 1, but it's had an updateeeeee since then, so go read it!!! gale's orthorexia and overexercising goes brrrrrr

Moecher by @inpotatoeswetrust (Razor_to_the_rosary) fantastic, very show-like dialogue, love the Curt & Bucky friendship keeping it reallll, deals with John's slippery descent into his alcohol abuse and how hard it is to pull oneself out of that path!! but also like. john jerking off to a stolen letter from Gale. dry humping. HOT!!!

never falter or fail by anonymous Post-war John is in the hospital with temporary amnesia after a flight crash, he's getting visitors from his war days, but perhaps not everyone is who they claim to be....really creative, beautiful storytelling!! i'm hooked!!!

No Proof, One Touch by @c-goldthorn sweat kink!!! pit stuff!!! oh you knowwwww I'm here for it! it's flight school and it's so sweeeeeet too i love them so much your honor

Only You Can Cool my Desire by @johnslittlespoon a one-shot in the Tough and Sweet AU (which you should totally check out!!), Gale's POV this time and oohhh overstimulated, begging, overheated John <3

Rack 'Em Up and Knock 'Em Down by @happy-days19 a whump collection, each chapter is a one-shot and super creative and varied!! love it!!

release, please (no longer on ao3) by anonymous Oh goddd I wish I knew who wrote this, if you're out there plssssss shoot me a message, I love this fic so much!!!! Gale lets John piss himself and then he lets him come and christttt. I legit have this saved on my google drive because it's just like. everything to me.

Sous Le Ciel de Paris by @rambleonwaywardson Modern Olympics AU, Gale is an equestrian and John is a gymnast, super creative and well-researched (as ALWAYS by this author!!) and also HORSIES and also JOHN INJURY! hee hee <3

Stripper, Occasionally Hooker by @donotnomi Modern AU, lawyer Gale and dancer John, this AU is everythinggggg to me!!!! corporate intrigue!! paulina and harding at the law office and ensemble at the club! I can't even put into words how sexy and hot and mindblowing stripper john is, somewhere in the realm of surface of the sun perhaps???? I LOVE THIS FIC OH MY GODDDD. I EAT IT UP. I RE-READ IT CONSTANTLY. go read it, I beg of youuuu

Wind in the Wire by @livelaughlove-write extreme gale whump in the stalag, such a great concept and love seeing the author explore it here!

windfall by @rangerelizabeth modern meet-cute, John meets Gale in a corn maze and pretends to be lost so that they can spend more time together <3 so cute!!

Wrapped Around Your Finger (You Say That I'm A Home Run) by @johnslittlespoon Gale cleans up John's face after he picks a fight, and he's a little mean about it and then they fuck about it and it's great!!!

You Don’t Ever Have to be Stronger Than You Really Are by @oopsiedaisiesbaby ABO fic yeah baby!!! except they're stuck in the stalag and they're both miserable and hungry and itching to get out and oh it hits so good!

You, Me, and the Sky by @oopsiedaisiesbaby Major Character Death, so mind the tags, heartbreaking and gripping and terrifying and beautiful and sad!

"You were doing all this to a toothpick?" by anonymous Gale's oral fixation.....yeah you know where this is going >:-)

Your Idiot by @eternallytired17 John gets hit on a mission and doesn't register it until he's literally collapsing wheeeee!!! so good!!!

[glamourscat]

VANITAS x !VAMPIRE READER HCS

i am one day late but hbd to my fav non vamp that looks and acts more like a vamp than the vamps in his own show

• absolutely HATED that you were another vampire hanging around noè at first. "oh merveilleux, another bloodsucker with a hero complex"

• gets increasingly irritated that you can see right through his act sometimes. you'll just give him this knowing look when he's being particularly dramatic and he DESPISES it (but also kind of doesn't?)

• if you have some kind of “power” like noè does, he will be secretly fascinated by how different you are from other vampires he's met. keeps trying to study you "for research" but really he's just making excuses to be around you

• absolutely loses it when you team up with noè to mother-hen him about his health. "i don't need TWO vampires telling me to sleep!"

• loves riling you up just to see your eyes flash red. will make increasingly outrageous statements just to get a reaction

• gets weirdly quiet when you talk about your childhood with noè. definitely not jealous. nope. not at all. (he's totally jealous)

• gets VERY flustered when you use your vampire strength to pick him up or protect him, but tries to play it off with his usual dramatics

• absolutely despises how you can tell when he's actually hurt vs when he's being dramatic. "stop looking at me like that, i'm FINE"

• has definitely stayed up all night reading your name in the blue moon records multiple times, but will never admit it

• gets oddly soft when you fall asleep near him during research sessions, but will immediately return to his usual self if anyone catches him looking

• Will subtly, or not so subtly, hint at you to drink his blood more than once. and when you do it? Well let’s just say if you two are a match, he won’t be quiet lmao

• noè finds your whole dynamic hilarious and keeps "accidentally" leaving you two alone together

BLURB UNDER THE CUT

The first time you met Vanitas, you'd nearly thrown him out a window.

"Noè," you'd said, holding the struggling human by his collar, "why is there a suspicious man with your book?"

"Put me down this instant, you bloodsucking menace!" The dark-haired man had thrashed in your grip, blue eyes flashing with indignation. "I am the great Vanitas, and that book is rightfully mine!"

You'd turned to Noè, unimpressed. "Can I throw him out the window?"

"Please don't throw my friend out the window, mon amie," Noè had laughed, looking far too amused. "He really is the owner of that book, the book of Vanitas."

You looked at Noè, eyebrow up. Looking between him and the short human. Book of vanitas. But that’s the blue moon vampire. This guy looks everything but a vampire.

Eventually, you set him down. Rather gently, all things considered.

"Your concern for my wellbeing is touching," Vanitas had said sarcastically , straightening his clothes with exaggerated care. "Tell me, do all vampire childhood friends of Noè's manhandle innocent humans, or am I just special?"

"Only the suspicious ones who smell like lies and… cheap cologne."

His eye had twitched. "Charming. Noè, you didn't tell me your friend was so... direct."

"(Y/N) has always been rather protective," Noè had smiled that knowing smile of his. "You two will get along splendidly."

You'd both turned to him with identical looks of horror.

"We absolutely will not—"

"I'd rather drink holy water—"

But Noè had just kept smiling, and somehow... somehow he'd been right. Though you'd both rather die than admit it.

Even now, months later, as you watched Vanitas patch you up, while complaining under his breath something along the lines of "ungrateful bloodsucker," you couldn't help but smile amused. He caught your stare and scowled.

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," you said innocently. "Just admiring your terrible manners."

"I could let you bleed out next time, you know."

"No, you couldn't."

His scowl deepened because you were right. You were always right about him and he hated it. Or maybe not. But you didn’t had to know that.

© GLAMOURSCAT (all rights reserved. do not share, modify, translate and re-upload my work outside of tumblr)

[hanaybuns]

i'm also reading osomatsu-kun and my God... these kids SUCK

they're so evil, no wonder the sextuplets came out so horrible in osomatsu-san. it all finally makes sense lmao. like, it's honestly a miracle that chibita came out to be a somewhat well adjusted adult bc he's also SUCH a brat.

now i understand why akatsuka got away with inflicting so much violence against these kids, it's bc 80% of the time they deserve it

like they're so awful towards chibita and you start to feel bad for him... until chibita also becomes a menace later

i used to think the comedic aspect of osomatsu san was the fact that they took these beloved characters and turned them into total d-bags. the reality is that they've always been horrible little pricks, now they're just horrible pricks to fit the 21st century

[thekoalapastriesbakery]

drivers reaction to realising they’re the sugar baby/ they earn less money in the relationship haha

also i am deciding to become spoon anon (if it’s not taken haha)

it's not taken!

also sugar baby!drivers is an excellent concept. we should talk abt it a lot. please.

alex albon:

lowkey not surprised

you don't make a big deal about how much money you have/earn

you probably live like a (mostly) normal person who just happens to be able to afford to go to a lot of races

but there were clues

totally brags about it all the time

he probably doesn't spend your money all that much tbh

and he'll never admit how much he likes it when you buy him gifts for no reason

charles leclerc:

GIVE THIS MAN THE PRINCESS TREATMENT HE DESERVES!!!!

he's like that shocked pikachu face when he finds out

totally blindsided

i mean he knew you weren't struggling or anything but he never expected you to be earning more than him?

definitely questions the entire relationship dynamic lmao

and then very comfortably settles into his rightful role of passenger princess

you are the only person he'll let drive him around without freaking out

(also probably into pretending that he's actually your sugar baby when he sends you personal photos)

franco colapinto:

this boy talks abt being poor so much he probably assumed you made more money than he did

still probably only thought you made like a comfortable wage and not more than an actual f1 salary?

takes a longggggg time for him to be comfortable with you spending money on him

when he does though ... he gets so giggly whenever you give him presents istg

kinda loves that he can just pretend to be your trophy boyfriend

jenson button:

post-retirement he's surprised but like. it's much more feasible?

still takes him a minute to get his head around but then he's always teasing you about making you pay for dates and everything

pre-retirement though? he is a MENACE

he's using your card for literally everything and absolutely will not shut up about being a sugar baby to the other drivers (even though you're actually his boyfriend and not just his sugar daddy)

side note but he'd definitely be using your money to buy himself sex toys and stuff and then sending you cheeky texts thanking you for the 'gift' and a photo of him using it

kimi antonelli:

surprised but pleasantly

definitely holds it over ollie's head

loveloveloves being your trophy boyfriend

like he's a literal f1 driver now and he's walking around telling people about how his boyfriend bought him his dream (road) car

very cute

kimi raikkonen:

kinda doesn't care but still kinda likes it?

he doesn't want you to spend tons of money on him

but he likes that you could

also likes homemade things a lot more than if you bought him something mega expensive?

he'd take cooking together over a fancy restaurant any day

lance stroll:

did not think it was possible

and tbf neither did anyone else

the whole internet thought you were a gold digger

lance knew it was possibility but he was like. ykw he's hot and i love him idc.

and then he catches a glimpse of your bank account one day and his eyes nearly fall out of his head

kind of loses his mind a little bit?

can't talk to you without stuttering and blushing for DAYS

secretly likes it when you call him a princess

yes this is a reference to the "call me a pillow princess the way i sleep forever and ever" post

oscar piastri:

silently proud

lets you pay for everything (you WILL fight him for the cheque)

kinda loves that you just quietly take care of him?

won't really tell anyone other than his family and maybe logan because it came up once

you would definitely take care of his whole family at the drop of a hat

guys i think i may have fallen in love with sugar baby!drivers

[literallythegrabber]

Yo , can you do the famous reader one but with characters ¿? Sorry if I was not clear :p

my bad, it's not ur fault I was being dumb. I'm also writing this at 3:00 am, after procrastinating for a week, so sorry for any typos in advance. enjoy!

Finney

Will probably keep his distance from u.

Will admire u from afar, kinda like how he was with Donna, just a bit more extreme since ur famous.

This boy will just stare at you from across the room. No shame whatsoever. Can't hold eye contact for shit tho, and easily flustered.

Since ur famous, I'd imagine you'd be like a child act or actress, so Finney would go to the movie theatre every Friday with Robin or Gwen to see ur movies.

(just remembered how Robin is 6 feet under rn, I'm imagining Finney carrying a pile of bones in a bucket labeled "Robin" to the movies, LMAO, anyways...)

Since he's short on cash (I headcanon he's broke af, I mean he's 13) he'll hideout in the bathroom once ur movies over, then wait for the next audience to come and watch it, then sneak into that booth so he can watch it again. Like, mf u could just go home? But he's committed to u.

When yall got together, the whole school was SHOOK, the people were pondering over yall for days.

You'd have to reassure him a lot. He gets insecure a lot by ur status and what people say.

But Robin will beat the haters up!😁

Robin

will def beat up all ur haters, whether yall are dating or not.

He'll try to act non-chalant and tough around you when he's literally freaking out the moment u walk into the room.

Imagine him just locking eyes with u while he's beating up some kid, just holding eye contact mid punch cause he thinks it makes him look cool.

And ur just like "😐".

Like I said with Finney, he'll go to the movie theatre EVERYDAY to watch ur movies instead of studying.

He just ignores doing it cause homework's for losers.

Like aren't u failing math?

U get scary dog privileges once yall start dating. He's always staring people down when they look at you for too long, he's super protective.

Yall would def be a power couple.

Bruce

He fangirls over u.

Thats it, that's all I have to say.

He ain't a stalker, but is 100% ur biggest fan.

Will flirt with u, get u small gifts, and invite u to his baseball games.

Will definitely serenade u with a guitar in the middle of the hallway, then laugh when u get embarrassed.

He brags to his friends about u all the time.

Nobody's surprised when yall start dating.

The popular boy and the movie star, it was a match made in heaven.

Like with Robin, yall would be a power couple.

Vance

He's literally ur biggest hater, polar opposite of Bruce.

He doesn't really hate u, he's just trying to deny his feelings for u by becoming ur mortal enemy.

He's trying to convince himself he doesn't like you, even tho he thinks about u (and pinball) all day.

Teases u, calls u names, goes out of his way to ruin ur day, he's honestly a menace.

"Vance! Did you see y/n's new movie? It's so cool!" "She looks like a seahorse be fr." "😟"

Vance is just insecure, with his dirty reputation, it's hard for him to believe someone like you would want someone like him.

He's unsure of how to process his emotions correctly, so he just bottles them up. Then imagine yall get into an argument, then all his pent-up feelings come pouring out in an aggressive confession, then yall get together.

The world was SHOOK, again.

Nobody could connect the dots, the goofy "bad boy" dating the movie star? Nobody predicted it.

He keeps his affection under the radar, wouldn't want to ruin his reputation.

He claims ur turning him into a "softie", but he's totally whipped for u.

Scary dog privileges, too.

[haveihitanerve]

We’re going down, down the sea lads. Hold onto your sheep!

The Lighthouse Commentary- (bc one of you lovelies suggested it :))

Sam’s face immediately starting strong because what XD

“... you cant close up a lighthouse.” Sam’s initial confusion. Oh brother this is gonna be fun…

Luke’s cackling off to the side as Tom grins

“I meant for me.” Quick save AJ, nicely done, very good

“Its quite late.” “it is really late!” Aj sounds ready to genuinely cry, i feel like this was performed at a really late time in real life and AJ wants to go to bed lol 

“Maybe this job isn't for yoUUU!” idk but i like the way he said it- also still feel like they’re referencing the comedy show/real life and not the characters in the play- idk why i feel like this but something about their speaking patterns lmao

“This job is for me!” >:( 

“Lighthouse-man.” “li-lighthouse-man?” “yeah. yeah.” Thats right Aj- stand your ground!

“Im doing this on internship-” “you're doing an internship-” glad you both got to say it boys, really solidified the internship bit, nice

“I've never seen a woman. I don't- what's that?” AJ making everything more drastic and chaotic, perfect, that's what i like to see XD

And breaking Sam along with it, beautiful

“The LIGHT!” reaches for it- ok aj, commit, nice :D

The eyes rolling allllll the way into the back of his head is totally not terrifying-

“The light is great. The light keeps sheeps- ships-sheets-” AJ breaking fully as he explodes a laugh but trying to maintain character at the same time is hilarious he looks like he's shitting XD

“There's nothing like the light of a woman's laughter.” damn sam. That's poetic. If my future partner don't say that i don't want ‘em

Tom’s little sheep mehhrrr is beautiful

“A rumspringa.” Sam purposefully using words he knows AJ doesn't know what they mean- asshole XD

“You know the amish.” “...yeees?” “.Go on.” Sam you menace XD

AJ throwing a glance at Tom for help

“Why are you telling ME to go on? You brought it up!” Fair point, very fair point, Sam’s just being mean lmaoo

Ok AJ does not, in fact, know who Amish are, but its fine, after a quick little giggle break Sam is incorporating a family called Amish into the story, so its fine XD

“Going down… down the sea.” I appreciate his commitment i gotta be honest

“Do- do you mean South?” They just cant let AJ have anything can they? Lol

“Do you know what happened?” Sam: “...i think i can guess” LMAOOO

“Through the smoke..” “the smoke?!?!?” Sam is genuinely concerned lol. “Through the smoke, cause there was fire on the ship.” “oh shit!” Sam did not see that coming XD

“Through the- it was really bad!” Now aj feels the need to explain his story, wonderful 

Luke giving flashback noises, and AJ just repeating them??? Brilliant teamwork boys, 10/10 lol

Tom, of course, cant be excluded: keep going DOWN lads!!! Keep going DOWN the sea!!!

Luke and Tom have casually taken over the scene now XD

“By the way- by “down the sea” do you mean south???” They just really cant let Aj live!!!! Lmaooo

“My brother passed away.” oh my gods Aj what kind of lore are you giving yourself????

‘“MY SON! MY ONLY SON!” Luke, no no, Aj is still alive- “APART FROM MY OTHER SON!” There you go, now Aj keeps going- “WHO I DON'T RESPECT AT ALL!!!” now that just seems unnecessary - XD

“THE CONSTANT DISAPPOINTMENT!” Oh luke is still going, oka- “I BET HE’D RATHER BE ON FUCKING LAND!!” Luke!!! Let him finish his traumatic backstory about why he wants to be a lighthouse keeper!!!! Come on!!! XD

“So I don't care- bout how fucking great women are!” the smile as he says it because ohhh noo thats not how he meant that to come across at all lmaooo XD

“Im just saying… give it a go.” And that was too much for AJ and we get another quick laugh, beautiful 

Sam casually stealing the chair luke was going to sit on to force him to grab another one lol

“Oh the sheep aren't shitting like they used to.” I love how unwilling they are to let a single mistake go, its absolutely fantastic lol! Also Sam’s sheep impression is spot on

“Daughter.” “oh!” Tom was not expecting that to be his role, but ok then :) 

“Like someones- shutting the curtains randomly!” Side eyes AJ hard 

[sheep panic]

[sheep straining] love how sams automatic reaction is to just do the opposite of what luke said lol

“The sheep are just too inbred.” Sam:... *wait a fucking minute*..? He took that personally lmaooo

“That ones got a mostly bald face.” Luke: *looks at Aj* Sam: *also looks around* Tom: no you you fucking idiots-

[sheep baas] fuck you -sam really did take it personally, but then again, Tom also made it personal XD

“The easen- eastern portion.” “the easen-eastern portion yeah.” Tom XD

“Look at this sheep holding another sheep!” Tom, i just don't think thats what his stagecraft is lol

Sam: *contemplating how to do this*... wasn't what i was going for, but…

Luke's explosion of laughter and the way Tom made direct eye contact with Sam when he said it lol

“Oh no my eyes betray me!” *waits expectantly for a clue as to wtf sam is holding*

“The quality of the wooool is poor.” He really needed to emphasize that word lol.

“Fuck you.” are those the only words this sheep can say???XD

“Going under? You mean its going- “down the sea”??” Tom really missed not being a part of the first scene i think…

“South you might say.” But only might! ;)

“Maybe we could send the sheep?” Tom sounds genuinely surprised that he himself suggested it

“I would be up for, sending the sheep *starts giggling* to be the main character!” *sam preparing himself, fastening up a tie and grabbing his briefcase* “of this story!” i love how both Tom and Sam are fashioning it in a way as though they are asking Luke for permission to do it XD

“Are you sure? Cause i was throwing it out there but..” of course now you backpedal Tom- make it his fault if the plot fails XD- smarttttt

“Why don't we go together?” “ahh fuck.” Sam really hates this storyline lmaooo

“You know i've never seen a man!” Sam’s absolutely done with all of them lmaoooooo

SAM! For legal reasons i will not be transcribing the action he did, but i shall give you the captions- [;)]

“They want one☝️thing!” “And whats that?” “se-ee-ex.” Luke’s disappointed turn around to look at Sam while he barely holds it together XD

“Well where are they gonna get that???” Tom, you beautiful beautiful child, his only purpose right now is to piss off the other three and i adore that for him

HES LITERALLY GIGGLING- this man is too cute omg-

Sam: *in sheep gesticulation* please just send me, i don't care that i have to play two characters in one scene, and that one of them is a sheep, tom is out of his fucking mind, please luke you know its smart- 

Or at least thats what i got from it

Luke’s little giggle and pat of Sam’s arm when Aj cuts their scene 🤧 so cute-

“Whats it like up there?” “Sorry?” *gets terrifyingly close* “whats. It. like. Up. there.” Aj looks disgusted and mildly put off but not totally concerned and i love that for their friendship :) 

“Its fucking dark though.” Luke is bamboozled. “Oh its fuck- you think its fucking dark up there??? With a great big fucking light?!?!” he slipped accents there for a sec and went into distraught Luke lol (i don't think aj knows how a lighthouse works, or what it even is, and if the boys knew that then they are evil and brilliant, and if they didn't then its still amusing as hell XD)

“Shining *starts laughing as AJ also breaks* in your eyes???” AJ is struggling to get the story right lol. “Do you have any idea what you do for a job???” I think Luke is genuinely curious lmaoo

Sam now having to step in because AJ has confused him too much so he has to clarify it too XD they're such idiots and i adore it

Tom joining the scene because he feels left out- classic

“Ill settle this honey-” oh sam 🫣

“NO IT WAS-” “AAAEEHHUUHUHAA!” Mocking each other like proper siblings XD this is the best thing ever

“I just wanted some fresh air :(“ leave him alone sam! “In the basement.” ofc the last jabbed parting words XD

AJ’s annoyed grin. “Alright- fucking- im outside now!” LMAOOOO

“Will you stop standing with your hooves on your hips?” Sam: *casually strikes a pose and baas annoyingly with a grin because he knows itll piss Tom off more* XD

Again, for legal reasons, not going to transcribe that 😑

“Excuse me-?” “oh!” Tom’s little gasp that makes Luke have to clamp a hand over his mouth to stop laughing. Gorgeous boys 

“Its a man..” The quiet awe- tom you're brilliant omg never change

“What the fuck are you?” YESS!!!! Both sides XD this is the best thing in my life 

“You're- you're a woman.” even tom cant stop his grin- they are such cuties omfg-

“Supposed to be a man are you?” Sam, never one to let an insult aimed at AJ go unnoticed: [baaa] nice ✋

“Thats right im a lighthouse keeper.” “[baa] what?” Sam cocking his head because wow Aj you just casually stole his job and lied to the first woman you've ever met. Tsk tsk

“Whats your name?” “poppy.” ok aj you're off the hook because now Sam is looking at Tom judgmentally lmaooo

“Oh its cause your sisters called poppy oh alright.” ….. Excuse me for one second. *leaves to go scream into the void* im back….. They just FUCKING- KNOW?>?????? THE NAME OF HIS SIST- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *im gonna go die of cuteness for one sec gimme a moment* idk why but the subtle reminders they are friends and actually know each other kill me. Anyway carry on-

Luke loosing it as Tom connects the dots and Tom motioning the “gears turning” to AJ to try and get him to get it too XD

(Atp they've just abandoned the “yes, and?” joke and started a “aj said one thing wrong once and now we’re gonna make this entire play all about it” and honestly, im here for it)

Also atp they're just competing to see who can make Sam stay in the scene and stand the longest and who can annoy the others the most and i am even more here for that lol

“My dad named me after the sheep.” the way Sam’s tongue is in his cheek as he watches Tom incorporate it into the story and his slow turn away

“Shes an old sheep now.” Sams eyebrows shoot into his hairline

“My names Clint.” “Clint?” Tom’s eyebrows are also in his hairline. “Are you sure?” (psst, Master Ybobb! Its bobby)

Tom treating Sam’s [baaing] as the translator game and just going off the rails lmaoo

“But the lights inside the curtain.” and thats too much for Sam- the way he leans against Tom for emotional support is so cute- 😭💗

Sam is soooo close to ripping his hair out, Tom is thoroughly enjoying whatever the hell i going on, and Luke is just laughing at them all

“Are all men this stupid?” Sam’s head bob as he points to Aj- help😭 hes trying his best guys! (seriously tho, what does Aj think a lighthouse is?)

“Are all women like you?” AJ had to come up with something didn't he lol

“Im just trying to be a good lighthouse keeper and im new at it!” poor baby. “Well you're clearly not.” ooooooohhhhhh. Damn tom. Ruthless

“My sheep will deal with you.” Smart Tom, very smart

AJ just casually stemming his hand against Sam’s forehead XD

“One.. two… three.” Sam, baby i just don't think hes gonna pick up on that 😭

“Im not sure whats happening.” yeah…

“Oh please know what this is.” Sam sounds genuinely distressed, poor guy😭😂

More cocaine, poor sam 

Sam and Tom are done with him 😭

“I've just got this bitch here-” AJ thoroughly enjoyed caling Tom that lol XD

“You cheeky fuck.” Aj though he could sit down lol

“Its nice to have a female presence in the lighthouse.” “thank you.” Turns judgmentally to Aj

“Your intern? Your INTERN, is it?” wow Tom, not holding back at all, very nice XD

[one more!] audience member i love you- especially because its funny but also because it made luke laugh lol

“Someones right on the rule of three :D” *seems genuinely overjoyed at this fact* “don't give it to em” “I wont!” oh come on guys!! “Make them wait for it!” thank you sam “Ill make them wait- THE INTERN!” diva turn and he gave us what we wanted, perfection

Ajs grin when it happens too, Sam might be suffering, but the other three are thoroughly enjoying this lol

“By the way whats his name?” “clint.” oh no sam not you too!

“Clint.” Tom sounds so judgy 😭

Sam: they say his father was a sea-men Tom: *eyebrows shoot up, then back down* thats how all little boys are made, aye

TOM!!! XD

“Sorry who- who offered you any part of it? I DIDN'T OFFER YOU ANY PART OF IT!” gorgeous work tom, flawless

“But he never talks about his mum.” guys, its almost the end of the play, why are we adding more plot???

“It seems like you want to give me some sort of backstory.” some people might call this meta, but if i were having a convo with a dude and they said this line, i would also think they want to give me backstory lol

“The light!” “the curtains!” at least they picked up on both stagecrafts. “Why would that make any difference?” “why both-?” “why both?” “why not just one of those things- *starts laughing*” they really cant let aj rest at all can they?? Lol

“Now the light isn't getting in from the outside!” Tom’s spin, now hes starting to get a little done with AJ just like Sam lol! “Oh! If only the curtains were open, this lightbulb would be giving light!” poor AJ 😭😂

“-head like a fucking egg-” fully breaks character and shatters the fourth wall XD

“Hey you! You bald fucker!” Sam: *gasps as though he hasn't just said the literal exact thing only slightly less bluntly* :0

“Yes? Can i help you?” Luke annoyed now too, glorious XD

“Grant i don't need you, fuck off grant.” “i feel like we've bullied him a lot today.” you don't say XD Lukes helpless shrug. “I know but hes pissed me off!” I love the way Aj just stays out of frame lol- hes not getting involved until he has to 

“You called me a bald fucker.” AJ’s strut onto the stage is iconic “i've got a whole head of hair in this scene you little twat.” Luke and Aj both laughing at each other- cuties. 

“Hey!” now Tom joins, because the scene wasn't chaotic enough. “What are you calling this 6’5 muscular powerhouse a little twat for?!?!” XD i cant anymore-

“Im gonna leave again!” you do that King

[sheep running off a cliff]

[sheep landing SPECTACULARLY]

“The one who gets made fun of. *brilliant mocking of Sam follows, beautiful*” theyre such siblings your honor its wonderful

“Stupid egg!” Sam’s cackle off stage is amazing

“What do you mean they make fun of you?” AJ’s grin as he circles luke- luke you literally started the scene with “you bald fucker!” like come on, XD

“James, the lighthouse keeper. And this new *starts laughing* bitch woman that i just met!” 

“I hope you're not talking about my daughter!?!?” “Was she tall?” “Aye.” “like freakishly tall-” trying desperately to level the playing field XD help aj- 

“Aye, like me! 6’5!” Luke really enjoyed Tom’s addition didn't he lol

“Weirdly tall.” “yeah yeah yeah, weirdly tall yeah. HUGE adams apple.” oh so now theyre teaming up on tom, i see, i see- theyre such fucking siblings dude XD

*laughing at their skilled insults together*

“My mother was wonderful.” “...okay.” yeah Luke, just smile and nod, good plan, who knows what to answer to that in these situations because i sure don't

“It seems like you wanna give us some sort of backstory…” sneaky sam, sneaky sneaky…

*exits while baaaing* AJ: *no no, we cant let this go* no you come here *the finger flick he does- help* Luke: *because he is a gremlin agent of chaos* no no you come here,

Poor sam doesn't get a break from a single scene 😭 thats what he gets for trying to be a cheeky sneaky little shit tho lmaooo

“She said “go.” *makes direct eye contact* “go down the sea.” yes AJ!!! SPEAK YOUR TRUTH!!!

Sam singing quietly in the background, not sure what hes singing but its great, adds ambiance

“Anyway what’d you want?” *forgets what scene hes in* “Im having a stroke over here.” luke please help him out XD

“It was my wife.” *dramatic gasp* Sam: *obliterates the fourth wall as a sheep* what a twist

“Good thing he didn't fuck your daughter.” Sam go back to being a sheep and baaing please-

AJ’s small smile as he appreciates Sam’s joke

“I wish this sheep would run off a fucking cliff.” getting his anger out for all the jokes XD

LUke laughing- with the tongue in his cheek- ahh hes so cute

Sam just flipping Aj off and making him laugh before finally getting to leave a scene XD

“Mario come back!” Tom having drag Sam from the chair because fucks sake he just got to sit down- but nope! Hes gotta be in every scene lmaoooo

“You're gonna be here til the bitter end.” Sam’s head hang of sadness as Tom breaks the fourth wall lol

“Father, have i missed some plot details?” I fear you might've poppy. Also sam rubbing his nose as an aside to pretend seeking cocaine again, brilliant

“I saw you die that day.” “no- no” “no-” “oh gods.” they're all so disappointed its wonderful XD

“Ill use all my human bits okay?” So the inbred joke did grant some uses didn't it Sam?

“Whats wrong with your sheep?” AJ taking joy in pointing out their mistakes now lol

“We gotta finish this show in five minutes-” Sam is done lmaoooo

“Im getting madness from the lighthouse-” The way sam pauses his struggle to actually laugh at that and grabs AJ’s waist, idk why i guess he just needed to hold onto someone to keep from falling apart at the seams-

“I am a sheep. *deep inhale* I’m gonna do some cocaine.” i think that was just sam and not sheep sam… XD

Sam: *finally gets to sit down* “You are my half son-” Sam: *fuck* no- no- no -NO

“You- nothing- NOTHING!” real sam coming out again… lmaooo

“So you, you're my cousin!” Tom fully understood what was happening, he was the only one who remembered bobby’s name- he was just being a litte shit and i fully believe that- AJ’s grin reveals he knows it too- fuckng hell- and Luke’s little jump as he screams “NO!” is adorable

AJ and Tom grinning at each other like dorks while Sam loses it and Luke tries to separate them

“WILL YOU-” AJ and Tom making eye contact and nodding, because hell yeah this bit’ll get ‘em goooood “MARRY ME?!?!” 

Sam explodes, Luke finally decides to end the chaos, and Tom and AJ are thoroughly enjoying themselves

Tom’s little backrub for Sam at the end… awwww

And luke’s consoling pat as AJ just grins and Sam tries not to murder them all XD

@flamingbluepanda @snek-of-eden @dawn-speckled

Sooooo an alternate title for the video could just be “Four Best Friends Competing to Piss Each Other Off The Most” but, y'know, i like The Lighthouse too. 

Anyway this was one of the most chaotic, belly aching, cheeks hurting play of theirs i have seen up to date and i loved every minute of it. AJ was just adding more plot and plotholes, Tom’s only goal was to antagonize everyone who stepped into his line of vision, (specifically Sam), Luke was somewhat trying to follow the plot but mainly just going for insults and gremlin activities, and Sam was losing his mind. :) beautiful. 10/10. 

(also, the way that this is one of the only plays where they forget to say “and hopefully an end” is kinda ironic lmaoo)

anyway hope you enjoyed it as much as i did :)

[impishjesters]

I’m devouring the nonsexual intimacy with Jax dawg- oml we eatin good

How would Jax be with an s/o who enjoys leaning on him? I adore physical touch but sometimes if I can’t use my arms it feels like I’m trapped, so it’s nice to just glomp people lmao (s/o is ticklish too- Jax would have a field day with that one)

If you need a little more substance, maybe s/o like randomly serenading Jax in private! Like those old 80s jazz love songs (complete with slow dancing)

Thank you and have a wonderful day/night!

Leaning on one another

warning(s): none unless you count jazz note(s): I joke about it but I actually quite like jazz, maybe not all jazz but it's definitely not the worst type of music. I'm looking at you country music.... A/N: I included a bonus because I thought the idea of cornering this man in his room with jazz music was absolutely hilarious lol

Jax doesn’t have a physical battery per say, but there is definitely a limit to how much he can tolerate at a given time—whether it’s in public or private.

He doesn’t like sitting still for long periods of time and there’s a limit to how vulnerable he’s willing to be at any given time if at all.

So having a s/o that understands this and goes for physical touch like leaning on him or something that’s not inherently seen as romantic and mushy is a win in his book.

Don’t get me wrong, he loves you but it’s a lot and he’s not really used to it. He’s still trying to wrap his head around the fact you two are dating, that you like him.

He’s all for being leaned on or having you loosely hang off him in public, sometimes regardless of what side of him you’re leaning on, he might lean back.

Little shit might only catch himself though if you can’t hold him/he catches you off guard and/or lose your footing, he’ll make the attempt to stick an arm out and catch you—but whether you crash or not depends on your own reflexes. (he doesn’t make the rules, sorry babe)

If you wanna be held but not feel restricted, as long as he’s not doing anything he’ll let you stand in front of him, lean back, and drape his arms over you—totally not to just lean on you and be an absolute menace.

In fact, that’s probably how he found out you were ticklish—and that knowledge is far too much power in his hands.

Sure he can do it whenever he wants, but he tends to save it for other unsuspecting situations—like if the two of you get into a little spat and you’re not speaking to him—two can play that game.

He won’t completely restrict your arms but he’ll throw his arms around you and tickle you, it doesn’t always work to ease whatever the spat was about.

That said Jax doesn’t do it when the situation is serious and calls for an actual discussion, he knows at least that much when it comes to reading the room. (That and you’ve probably gotten onto him about it at least once before…)

He also may or may not have tickled you to get you up, you don’t need to sleep but you can still lie down and whatnot. And if you aren’t budging? Tickle time baby.

Bonus

Jax isn’t a dancer by any means, so when he opens the door to his room to find you standing there with music that’s—very much not the repetitive cartoony music that usually plays in this hellscape—he’s a little surprised.

The first question out of his mouth is:

“Is that fucking jazz?”

“No, just normal jazz.”

That response gets a good hearty chuckle out of him.

When you try pulling him in for a dance he’s a little nervous though it comes off as looking irritated, he’s uh, never danced to jazz of all things let alone with someone else.

You’re gonna have to take the reigns on this one, regardless of whether you can dance or not, you started this.

Despite the fact it is jazz playing, he enjoys the situation as a whole, your weight leaning on him the subtle holding one another. And the fact it’s in private? He can comfortably(ish) let himself feel a little vulnerable around you with no risk of having an audience.

Regardless of the fact it’s jazz, if you happen to sing along he considers himself impressed and will jokingly (read: obnoxiously) comment how he feels utterly serenaded, completely wooed, absolutely swooning—it goes on until you stop him, please stop him he’ll just keep going.

[jade-jini]

"𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙟𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙…"

Student Council President!Chaewon x Little Menace Reader

Genre: Friends (love-hate) with benefits. smut. Fluff (kinda lmao)

TW: overstimulation. Orgasm delay)? Little bit of choking ‘cause it doesn’t hurt. Jealousy, chae is lowkey possessive idk what to tell you.

This is based on this stucon presi!chae x menace reader storyline, so I’d go check that first 100%.

What for others would look like you simply talking and laughing with some of your friends, to chaewon (my least possessive friend Ofc) looked like the stupid flirty menace she unfortunately likes was surrounded by popular pretty girls, minutes away from probably choosing who chaewon’s replacement/competition/rival the subject of your attention is gonna be for the weekend.

It wasn’t like that tho, at all. Actually, to most people’s surprise (and disappointment), you weren’t interested in getting with nobody else besides chaewon, but this last part was Ofc something only you and her knew.

And yes she knew it! She didn’t think like this about you. Not all the time at least. Only when she was really jealous. Her mind would betray her creating fake scenarios where you go and fuck somebody else as good as you fucked her. Or where you’d let other people explore that body that she so much loved, making her get all impulsive and angry and ugh! She had to go there and showed you and everybody who tf owned you.

She decided she’s had enough when she sees Chaeryeong grabbing your waist.

She was simply helping you with a dance move that she showed you and you wanted to learn.

“Bs”, according to chaewon. Specially when the other girls are looking at you like you’re a piece of meat while you’re dancing so sexy.

(None of that was actually happening snjddj they’re just laughing with/at you ‘cause you’re too silly and can’t get the move right. Wonie is insane).

But she was jealous af, so out of impulse (this is your influence istg) she walked to you, grabbed your wrist and threw a cheap excuse about how you had to help the stuco members finish some stuff as part of one of your punishments.

You weren’t even sure if that was true or not (probably yes) but you didn’t even have a chance to fight as she dragged you down the hallway. You could only wave a goodbye to the other girls while they waved back with confused expressions in their faces, not saying anything because who in their right mind would argue with a clearly angry Kim Chaewon.

“We should pray for her” Ryujin said. And oh was she right.

Chaewon grabbed your wrist tighter and pulled you to an empty janitor’s closet, locking the door quickly.

“Umm, Wonie?-” you started, clearly confused about what was happening, but got cut off.

“Shut up.” she whispered while pushing you against the door, pressing her body against yours and kissing you aggressively.

You had no idea what was going on but you don’t have time to even process a question when her hand is already inside your pants, teasing you and making you wetter than you already were. The girl lets go of your lips at the same time so she can see your reaction, while you sigh both ‘cause of the lack of air in your lungs and ‘cause of the pleasure and intensity of her eyes.

“Unnie what’s-”

“Shut.up.”

Oh?? -

Her fingers started moving slowly on your clit, which is surprising in contrast with the aggressive way she basically kidnapped you in this closet.

Don’t get confused tho, she totally wants to ruin you right now for making her feel this way. So impulsive, so angry, so jealous. Acting without stopping herself to reason and to choose a coherent decision. That is so you. This wasn’t Chaewon. This wasn’t her, tf?. She was upset at you and wanted you to know it, to feel it burning through your body the way it was through hers. But first she had to make you believe she’s taking things slow.

“Wonie, that feels good…”

“Yeah?” She asked in that sensual soft tone she sometimes used, accompanied with a smile “I make you feel good, don’t I?”

“Of course you do baby…” you answered, already starting to get lost in the pleasure the girl was making you feel, closing your eyes while you rested your head against the door behind you. Biting your lip and unconsciously moving a little bit under her touch, starting to give Chaewon a little show.

“Better than Chaeryeong?”

…oh.

“Better than all those girls? Hm? Don’t think I didn’t see you basically flirting with all of them. Tell me, do I make you feel better than them?”

Oh no.

“Oh I’m fucked” you thought. Chaewon was jealous. That’s why she was being so impulsive and careless. And here you were thinking she was just starting to get too affected ‘cause of your company.

You could be a little bit of flirt, yes. But it was part of your personality, it was just natural! Plus it was mostly just joking around, you were friends with those girls, and honestly chaewon kept you too distracted to think about other girls like that, let alone actually get with other girls. Even if you guys weren’t exactly dating. (Lets go losers who are loyal without dating wooo)

“Chaewon, it’s not like that, with Chaer-”

“Shut. Up!” She whispered-screamed “I don’t wanna hear other girls’ names while I’m fucking you, let alone their stupid little nicknames, what’s wrong with you?!”

“But you asked me if- Ah fuck!” you almost screamed in a high pitched cry when she suddenly put her fingers all the way inside you.

“And your answer wasn’t supposed to include another girl’s name.” she said between her teeth, slowly but hardly fingering you.

“I- I’m sorry…”

“Now tell me. Do I make you feel better than them?”

You were gonna answer but she started going so fast on purpose, sending your mind to another planet.

“answer me or I’ll stop and you won’t get to come today.”

“Yes! Yes you’re so good. You’re better than everybody else, you’re perfect!” you said in between moans while trying to catch your breath. Compliments kept falling from your mouth and Chaewon loved every second of it. You guys couldn’t be too loud tho.

“Be quiet, somebody might hear you!”

“I can’t, it feels too good…”

“Yeah?” She said while softening her tone and smiling. Those little moans and whimpers while you grabbed her shoulders, causing wrinkles in her perfectly ironed uniform. She’d normally complain about it but she couldn’t care less, not when you’re looking and sounding so cute, making her forget why was she even mad about to begin with.

“Too good… unnie…” and Omg she can’t help but to shut you up with a kiss. Her kisses went to your neck while you unbuttoned your shirt.

“What are you doing?” The president asked while looking at you, stopping her kisses.

“I need kisses there too..” you answered, referring to your now very sensitive tits.

“And who told you you had any type of control on what’s happening here right now?” She said in a mocking tone.

“Unnie, please…” you begged, looking up at her and pouting, your eyes basically screaming your desire for her mouth to cease the needs that that part of your body was feeling. And that’s all it took for her walls to break and give in.

“Fuck. you’re lucky you’re cute and have those puppy eyes.” She said while moving your bra up and starting to leave kisses on your chest.

“Ha, thanks. Jen says the same all the time” you said without thinking. And you regretted it immediately when you realized you once again dropped somebody else’s name. Chaewon stopped her kisses and fingers inside you, making you groan as you felt that familiar sensation of your orgasm getting close painfully disappearing. Ah fuck.

“Oh really?” she said, sarcasm floating around her tone while she looked up at you. You gulped.

Chaewon (almost) never got jealous of her best friend. She knew you guys were friends even before she appeared in the picture at all. But right now? Every other human being was simply a rival for her. Even Yunjin. It was you and her. And you were hers. And she’ll fuck every other girl, person, name, thought out of your fucking mind if she has too. You get distracted way too easily for her liking.

“What else does she do that I do too, hm?” she asked while starting to move her fingers again slowly.

“I- I’m sorry unnie I didn’t mean to-” you tried to say but she wasn’t having it.

“No no, cmon tell me. What does my friend and I have in common?” she added, a fake-interested tone adorning her voice “does she also tells you how tight your pussy always is even after fucking it deep and hard a million times?”

You whimpered at her dirty talking, not being able to answer as your brain was malfunctioning with the pleasure added by her words and the stimulation she started to give to your nipples with her other hand.

“Does she tell you how perfect your tits fit in her hands? Or how good you taste in her mouth? Tell me does she tell you all those things while she fucks you as good as I do” She whispered in your ear while fucking you harder and faster.

You couldn’t form one single thought. You could only shook your head because of course Yunjin hasn’t done any of that Tf?! Doesn’t mean you weren’t turned on by this jealous side of Chaewon, who’d be so possessive even when she knows she’s the only one who tells you and does all those things to you.

“You know ~oh f-fuck~ that only you can make me feel this good, unnie” you moaned in her ear with your low voice, and you could feel her whimper against your neck. “Chaewon.. fuck I’m gonna come…” you said, your voice getting slightly high pitched, praying she’d finally let you come instead of building your orgasm and stopping.

“Do it for me, baby. Only for me” she answered while sucking on one of your nipples and moaning against it, as her free hand grabbed your neck, tightening around it slightly just the way she knew you liked it, creating a sensation that was more than enough to send you to your climax. You came hard all over her hand, but she didn’t stop or slow down.

“Fuck! Wonie, wait…!” you said while trying to move her hand but that only made her slap yours Lmao.

“ah ah ah! Keep your hands to yourself baby” the girl whispered in that sexy voice she has while getting on her knees, never removing her eyes from yours. If they weren’t so hypnotizing maybe you would’ve realized what she was gonna do. Only the sensation of her tongue inside your pussy replacing her fingers brought you back to reality.

“Holy fuck Wonie!” you almost screamed, quickly covering your mouth with your hand and biting hard to avoid any other sound coming from you. Her tongue, reaching every right spot right after your first orgasm, being too overwhelming “Chaewon, please slow down, it’s too much!” you whispered-screamed. You looked down at her, and regretted it immediately.

The girl simply went to your clit and shook her head in a “no” motion while stimulating it with the tip of her tongue, her fingers back inside your pussy moving fast and hard. God she looked so Fuckin hot like that. Her pretty eyes fixed in your face, that stupid egocentric smile that made her eyes looked like crescent moons, nothing in her mind but to fuck you until your legs were shaking. That plus the way she moved her fingers and mouth on you, without even giving you a break from your recent orgasm, was making you feel extra sensitive. Pleasure running from head to toe. You could hear your heart in your ears.

“Fuck! Oh my god, Wonie! Ahh…” you cried with the little string of voice you had left. tears forming in your barely open eyes while you gave the girl on her knees what she wanted and came all over her fingers and mouth. Your legs felt like jelly, so while getting up and licking her lips clean, she grabbed you so you wouldn’t fall.

“Are you ok?” The president asked giggling, holding you close to her and feeling your agitated breathing against her chest. You shook your head, making her giggle again.

“What was that?!” You asked her, shocked and still not completely back after the intense experience the girl in front of you made you have.

“hmm, nothing. Just felt like stealing your attention” She answered, to then lick her fingers clean. God, you didn’t understand what that woman did to you, you haven’t even recovered from whatever that was, yet you could feel yourself slowly getting horny again. Thank and fuck youth for the high sex drive.

“It’s not typical of Kim Chaewon to do something like this tho” you reminded her, hugging her by the shoulders. She scrunched her nose cutely at the comment.

“That’s true, but you’re so cute like this”.

“What, all messy after we fuck? you asked her laughing while slowly getting your breath to start going back to normal. She softly slapped your arm.

“Not that, when you’re only mine…” she said while hiding her face against your neck, and her fingers slowly traveled between your thighs again.

well, damn.

[midnight-mourning]

He’s a Little Confused but He's Got the Holiday Spirit

Hello! As the title implies, it's time for this to become a fic, for those that don't know, I wrote a prompt response that's basically a christmas au of confused spirit (curtosey of @divinit3a) and it was so good that I decided to make a full fic for it. this post contains the basic info of the fic, some lovely designs brought to life by Pom and will include links to each chapter as it posts ^_^

There's also a little poll at the end to vote on the title if you'd like to participate~

The Plot:

You're a blacksmith/animatronic technican in a small, mountain village, known far and wide across the kingdom for it's holiday decorations and delight. So much so that the royal family themselves visit yearly to partake in the festivities.

However, due to some recent threats and strange has happenings, there's much more security this year, and among that security is two royal guards who seem keenly interested in keeping you from investigating too far into the matter. And you, they're also interested in you.

The Characters:

Y/N - You! With the same personality, motivations, and goals as Y/N from Confused Spirit, and with a similar job as well. You run a shop in town with a small team of smithies, tinkerers, and inventors at your side. (I don't have a design currently but imagine a the most androgynous blacksmith/medival peasent outfit ever <33)

Sun & Moon - The two guards that have been meddling in your affairs. Though, given they've been a surprising help with your siblings, you can't say much. Also with the same personalities, and characteristics as Confused Spirit. However, they're motivations and goals are different and do not reflect their CS counterparts. Meaning, anything discovered about these two does not apply to or justify any actions taken by them in CS. Designs below are by Pom who brought my vision to life <3333

The Shop Crew - the parts & infastructure team from CS! with an adjustment here or there :)

Melissa & Gabriel - Your siblings. Still adorable. And still a menace.

All others - You'll just have to see :) There is some overlap from CS, such as Abby as some already know, among many more

Where to read:

I'll be posting these to tumblr & ao3! Tumblr first/only (until I can think up a title) but then I'll also have it on ao3 for better reading bc these will be long chapters.

Speaking of, there will be seven chapters total, including the one I've already posted!

Timeline:

Honestly want to tell y'all i'll be sharing a chapter every day or so, but after the disaster that was me last week with feeling unwell and getting behind, I'll just say, she'll be posted completely hopefully before my break is over 😅

Title (and tagging):

While I admit it WOULD be funny to just name it Holiday Spirit, I'm gonna let y'all decide for sure. I'll leave the poll up for a week since I'm not in a rush to post to ao3 (and I unfortunately doubt I'll have it done in a week lmao) everything related to it though will be tagged with #HS! au and #Holiday spirit au as the au is called Holiday Spirit, this is just for fun pretty much

Chapter 1:

Chapter 2:

https://www.tumblr.com/midnight-mourning/771893744939270144/2-animatronics-dancing-oh-and-you-youre-there?source=share (this is an inline link bc it KEEPS SHOWING SPOILERS)

EDIT: messed up the poll, so sorry >_< if you already voted and it said 1 day pls vote again shkjdf

Tag list for the usuals (if you would like added, see this post for more info):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8

@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles

@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva

@juukai @crystalmagpie447 @mothgutz236 @lizyxml

[saltpepperbeard]

Call It Through as a Crew: Alleviating Some Phone Anxiety

Hello everyone! So as you probably already know, there has been a recent call to make, well, calls! Another member of our crew figured out that the max customer service line (855-442-6629) is a very effective way to get our feedback heard, as the feedback gets transcribed and shared to a multitude of teams.

I already sort of briefly shared my experience on this post, but I wanted to go a bit more in detail to offer some solace for those who are also phone averse, as well as share resources and get the word out even more.

And y'all, when I say I'm phone averse, I mean PHONE AVERSE LMAO; MY FEET WERE SWEATING JSDKLS LIKE I WAS FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE. So I totally, TOTALLY get it, and am here to walk you through everything in detail!

So I called that number and was on a brief hold--probably like 5 minutes or so. The customer service representative (Margot my bestie Margot) then picked up, and asked for the email associated with my account as well as my full name.

I was extremely extremely worried and anxious about being bothersome/annoying the person on the other end and just being able to feel it in their tone, so I was shivering and sweating all the while. But then when she asked for my reason for calling, I said, "Oh, it's actually in regard to some feedback," and she went, "Is it for Our Flag Means Death?"

And we both laughed, and I was like, "Haha how did you knooooowww?" And she laughed some more and was like, "Let me tell you, I have never seen anything like this in all my years working here. We are getting so many calls. It's incredible."

And by that point, a large weight was off my chest because she was friendly, I was friendly, EVERYONE WAS FRIENDLY.

I laughed and told her that we were a very passionate and concerned bunch, and she told me that she thought that was so cool and also super important. She then allowed me to tell her my feedback, and she transcribed it as I talked. This was the little script I had prepared in case you'd like to reference it:

I just wanted to call and express my disappointment, dissatisfaction, and concern with the recent cancellation of Our Flag Means Death on Max. As a queer person myself, this show has a tremendous impact on me. And in a climate where so many diverse and LGBT-centric shows have unjust ends, I’d just like to express my wish for reconsideration, and just the hope that…Max will allow LGBT stories like ours to live and flourish. And I’m really worried about there being some kind of…homophobic angle to the cancellation, so it would mean the world to myself and so many others if the decision could be reversed, and we could get our third and final season.

I went a little graver than originally planned, because I saw talks that taking a DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) angle, as well a "hey I'm a queer person and this feels like a decision made for a nefarious purpose" angle, are supposedly more likely to be noted.

Anyway, she allowed me to say my piece and wrote it all down, and then actually stayed with me on the line to chat a bit more. So, the phone call didn't feel rushed or anxious which was SO so huge to me; it felt far more conversational.

She was like, "I don't want to toot our little horn or anything, but Max really takes all this feedback into consideration. It will be passed to the properties team (or something equivalent, I can't remember the EXACT term she used), and they're in charge of what goes on Max and why. So, I really feel like you guys have a fighting chance with these efforts."

And of course I was thanking her profusely for telling me all of this, and for listening; polite menace, that will be my brand!

But man, the coolest part of all? She told me that she was POC, and a queer person herself, and that this was all so cool and so amazing to see. She applauded our efforts, and expressed interested in the show. I laughed and said, "Well uhhhh I might have a BIT of a bias, but I cannot recommend it enough."

And then she proceeded to tell me that it might be even MORE effective to hit from different angles. So, keep calling (they're available 24/7), and also keep utilizing the online feedback form. Basically just keep FLOODING them with how much this means to us and why.

I then expressed a lot of gratitude, we exchanged pleasantries, and there was a brief survey at the end. I don't think the survey is necessary, so you can probably hang up by this point, but I stuck around for a little more horsepower. It tells you to rate the customer service on a scale of 1-5 with 5 being the highest, and you know I gave my bestie a fivvvveee. It also tells you to press 1/2 if your issue was resolved or not. I said HELL TO THE NO, DUDE SJDKLS. And THEN, it asks you to leave a voice message after the tone describing your experience. I said that I was with the customer service representative Margot, and that she was extremely friendly and helpful, but that the issue at hand will not be resolved until Max reserves their decision about the recent cancellation of Our Flag Means Death (I'm also always saying the show title in full as opposed to just the acronym, just for more OOMPH).

...And thennnn I proceed to shake it/shriek it all off LMAO.

Buuuut yeah! Probably took a total of 10 minutes or so. @xoxoemynn also shared with me that she's seen people say that these customer service representatives likely deal with older folks who need help with technology, and are subsequently stunned (and maybe even excited) to talk to younger people who just want to voice concerns instead of chew the poor customer service people out lol! And Margot also mentioned that they were eager to take calls no matter what, so as long as we're all polite and succinct, I don't think we'll have to worry about a very tense and awkward call.

I hope this alleviates some fear a bit! We got this, crew. We're doing so, so much. And it seems like it's being heard all over the place; it also seems like we've got so many people on our side, too. Big big hugs, and I'll share the necessary resources once more-

Customer Service Number: (855) 442-6629

The Online Feedback Form:

The original tumblr post with all the information:

The tumblr post where Fox and others were sharing even more information: