#(there seems to be slightly more nuance to it btw)

[angeart]

i'm going insane. skizz actually thought that scar killed him. he thought- he thought it was a creeper scar lured to him. he has no idea that tnt was involved. he has no idea jimmy had anything to do with it whatsoever.

the reason he hounded scar down in particular is because he thought that this was solely scar's fault - scar, who was light green and shouldn't have been out there getting people killed.

skizz thought he was illegally murdered AGAIN and he was not having it—

[rubberbandgirlme]

mamma mia here i go again with another chapter from my leander thesis 🤓 please accept my humble input on mc's curse, the importance of reading between leander's flirting lines and rss's wonderful storytelling details.

ngl when i finally chose not to touch leander's hand first (can you blame me, i'm weak for that man) i was bewildered at how strikingly different the options in this scene play out, and i, strange as it seems, like this one much better.

first of all, it's a parallel (even if it's not intended, the connection is still there) to the opening scene with a deranged traveler: the touch, the sensations, the (foreshadowed) strangling:

leander is definitely affected by the curse — possessed even, i would say, as if he was being told to strangle mc. notice how his actions line up with the traveler's, only in slo-mo, because leander was fighting to take back the control. and when mc calls out for him, he either snaps out of it or gets to the exact point when he takes a hold of the curse. this brings up a question: could mc's curse be sentient? alter the minds, you say? (more under the cut because it got long)

i've seen people speculating that mc's curse might bestow the enlightment but that's not true: mc was told that (and that's why this origin has me by the throat (pun absolutely intended): imagine living with so much guilt, thinking you were doing good, but in fact driving people mad… mmm tasty). it ties perfectly into every origin path where mc was being lied to, deceived and betrayed. however, there's definitely something more to the curse's nature that's yet to be disclosed.

my favourite moment though!! is this nuanced character storytelling!!

the very hand that was inches away from choking mc to death is quickly disguised as caring and soothing. wonder why? to gain mc's trust (non-verbally), to show that leander's in control, he's strong, he's there for mc, he'll take care of them. of course, leander, being a leander, downplays the whole experience of being possessed/affected by the curse, but he's being honest at once. he doesn't lie to mc — and that's also how he's gaining trust, verbally this time.

one more question that begs to be asked: why the hell all of this doesn't happen if mc touches leander first? it seems that the quality of the touch (😭) also plays an important role here:

leander must have felt the power of the curse, but he wasn't possessed by it, he could control it right away — why? because the touch was fleeting? or because it was mc who was touching him, not the other way round?

now hear me out (i might be wrong on this one, because i can't remember any more examples off the top of my head, but i feel like it's definitely a thing. let me know if something comes up!): we should pay closer attention to how leander says the truth (or half-truth), but it could be understood differently at a flirting angle (it's slightly different from this one, where he covers up his misstep). what i think he means here is that he controls the curse, but it sure is a difficult thing to do. "not due to your power" my ass, his need to look strong and heroic and weak at the same time is ridiculous, someone cure this man (ivolunteer.gif)

one more and last thing that's bothering me (it might play into the previous point btw): if you keep touching him, he tells mc that fissures on their hands match his golden pin. why??????? that's such a dumb thing to flirt about, such a weird comparison. what kind of connection is there? it's so out of place, it definitely means something more. leander spill

[hawkinasock]

I feel like luocha would revive yanqing bc Yaoshi sees his (yanqing's) potential as a weapon for THEM, so THEY would send luocha to revive the boy and take him to the xianzhou to develop his skills so that THEY can control him in the future

Interesting. Ngl it makes me wonder if an event like that is what catalyzed Luocha's estrangement from the Abundance, assuming he is/was an emanator. It also makes me wonder how Yaoshi actually feels about the Xianzhou alliance. We know that The Hunt's entire purpose is to eradicate the Abundance, but is it ever clear if the feeling is mutual on Yaoshi's end? They seem so impassive and mellow from what little we've seen and heard of them, and they only take on the image of one particularly malevolent through the way in which the Xianzhou describes them, and the Xianzhou aren't exactly an unbiased source of information. Yaoshi creating what is essentially a sleeper agent is an interesting idea, but what if Yaoshi is genuine? What if Yanqing's entire existence is the thesis for their love?

Not to sound like some disciple lmao, but I think the idea of Yaoshi believing their power and ideology is as much a force for good as any other aeon is the kind of nuance I'd want the lore to lean into, and the potential irony put forth with the implication that Jing Yuan himself is using Yanqing as some kind of weapon can turn the tables in a super interesting way. Where the Abundance is the one committing the sin, in actuality, it's The Hunt.

Maybe I'm just a sucker for "the ones we thought were good aren't so innocent" pipeline. I've been having this sort of vibe ever since 2.4, during a very specific line from Huaiyan to Jing Yuan, where he made a firm stance in his belief that Jing Yuan's loyalty to the Xianzhou has "never wavered", to which Jing Yuan just... doesn't respond.

His expression only changes slightly, a faint furrow in his brows, then the camera just sits on him for a good couple seconds before Dan Heng speaks, and afterwards, Jing Yuan himself takes no part in the conversation for the next few lines. When he does, it's irrelevant to Huaiyan's original comment.

Idk it could be nothing, but with Jing Yuan already being incredibly suspicious in many ways, namely his guardianship over Yanqing, it makes me wonder if the entire Wardance arc was, to an extend, a red herring; a false sense of security. Now that hsr has explicitly brought up the possibility of an Arbiter General being disloyal and making two plot points out of it, the first being Feixiao's inner turmoil with the borisins and the second being TB defending Jing Yuan's innocence, I can't help but be even more suspicious of him.

I lost the plot a bit there... my bad. But to reconvene, I think it would be both plausible and in character for Yaoshi to revive one specific child, but I'm on the fence about their motivations being inherently malicious. Their power may be the cause of much pain and suffering, but as far as I can tell, they themselves don't see it that way. As biased as I admit I am about Yaoshi, I think that they would revive Yanqing simply because they love him.

I still think your theory, as cracked as it is, holds water. I'm fond of it, personally, if you can't already tell lmfao. Sorry this was a bit long btw. I just love to yap about my stupid little blorbos. Pls hit up my ask box again if you have more to say.

[kings-paintbrush]

my Final Family Au!

(but it’s mostly me just explaining my design choices)

I’LL THINK OF A CREATIVE NAME, TRUST!! but it’s set during/slighty after episode 8 of season 3. I haven’t really thought of much plot wise, it’s mostly been silly little sceneries from my headcanons but, first things first, I’m redesigning the dolls they’re in! I think there could be a lot more nuance in what vessels they’re in! These are just my interpretations! Jake Wheeler is GOING to be in a good guy doll, but- seeing as good guy was such a large brand, it would be a good guy that already has a skin tone and hair color similar to his. Still in the Chucky mold. I don’t think I have to say much as to why this is really deep, but for so long Jake’s been trying to kill Chucky, and to be in something that looks so much like him… inside of the monster he’s being trying so desperately to destroy. the other idea is that it’s a unreleased/rare prototype for a slightly darker skinned doll or a rip off good guy all together! A lot of baby dolls have/had plush bodies. With plastic head, feet, and hands. which would make mobility difficult at first— but not impossible.

Devon is literally a Teddy Bear because “Fuck you Devon.” technically stuffed animals aren’t dolls. But I just like the idea of having different vessels, and seeing how you can become more human in them. Because truthfully it’s a scary thought, bonding with this empty husk. Your organs are in there, your soul. You start to feel pain and other human feelings more in more, while your skin sort of… morphs onto this form like a coat of paint. the drawing of Jake shown is him pretty far into his assimilation to the doll! His hair starts to curl up first probably. This is probably halfway assimilated And, I haven’t drawn Lexy but I think she could really work well staying as a marionette doll. All her life she’s felt controlled and tied down. Literally putting on a show for the press because of her mother. And being a slave (or puppet) to her addiction for so long! I didn’t have many ideas for Lexy, other than a fashion doll. But— seems too unoriginal, she’d look too close to Tiffany (BUT IF SOMEONE DOES WANNA MAKE IT WORK THEN GO AHEAD)

Basically I want my plot to be about Nica saving them all and taking them in, and maybe Nica or Andy— or hell even the couple from Bride researching Voodoo and trying to find the Trio’s bodies. the fic will have drawings btw!!! @high-functioning-fang1rl @barclaysangel @nicascurls @fairchilds-glasses

:3 SORRY FOR TAGGING I JUSYDFBSFZBS *dies*

[princessofmerchants]

Hey ! first of all: I recently discovered you blog & totally fell in love with it🥺, especially after my "Nessian Hangover".

I know this might be a bit off-topic from your usual content, but there's something about Cassian's relationship with Mor that really irks me...and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

His actions, like pulling away from Nesta's hand in ACOWAR, left me feeling frustrated and sympathetic towards Nesta. And then there's that whole thing in Wings and Embers where he's all secretive about Nesta with Mor and doesn't wanna tell her about Nesta, which gave off major mixed signals?? I mean, describing Mor as something between a lover and a friend, while also being like family? That was so confusing, how can she be all three to him? it just felt so ... inappropriate and I felt so bad for Nesta bc obviously she deserves someone who has only eyes for her.

But then in SF he says all romantic feelings turned into familial bonds after the incident so what was that about then in WaE and pulling his hand away in ACOWAR?

Also in WaE it sounded like he primarily slept with Mor out of jealouy but in SF it does seem like he did had romantic feelings towards her ? :/ ...

And when he thought in SF about how hauntingly beautiful Mor is and how it takes his breath away and that she is lovely and perfect .... it just drove me mad tbh because this sounded very romantic coded to me which made me feel so bad for Nesta.

it has been all so confusing and inconsistent to me and also just frustrating how he talked so poetic about a woman he slept with (or did he also call Nesta also hauntingly beautiful or lovely or perfect and I'm not remembering it?), or how he didn't wanted to show Mor that he has feelings for Nesta?? :/ - so I just wondered what you thought about all of that, in hopes to calm me down or clarify bc it really almost ruined him for me (maybe I was misinterpreting stuff?).

hope that's not a weird question bc of how spesific it is haha

BTW I love your love for Nesta bc same🖤.

I love this ask, Anon, and how detailed and specific it is. It is a question after my own heart! My response is long so it's after the break.

Thank you for saying you love my love for Nesta - that means the world to me. What I especially like about your ask is, it is about canon Nesta, who is the Nesta I most treasure, and by extension about canon Nessian. I sometimes feel like a lone voice in the drafty moors of Tumblr with my deep and abiding love for canon Nessian, so the fact that this ask lets me talk about them in canon makes me happy!

I have given this a lot of thought since receiving your question, and I'm not sure how satisfying parts of my answer will be, so my apologies in advance for the fact that I am not actually going to offer an explanation for how and why all the details you listed can co-exist in a single, utterly comprehensive whole for the Cassian-Mor relationship when Cass is unquestioningly Nesta's by the end of ACOSF.

Instead, here's why the lack of things utterly lining up for these three doesn't bother me in the long run, and only slightly bothered me during the pre-ACOSF / post-ACOFAS era.

It is clear to me as a reader that SJM pivoted in a significant way between ACOMAF and ACOWAR when it comes to Mor.

I came across a post recently that explains exactly my thoughts on this. The post focuses on the current ship war but the evidence in it describes how during ACOMAF it was clear Moriel (Mor and Azriel) was likely to be endgame, but then SJM shifted Mor's arc to where she was more attracted to women, which meant needing to retcon a lot (and unfortunately a lot of Mor's charm and nuance was collateral damage that I am still hoping SJM repairs).

I think Cassian in ACOMAF needs to be read in the context of a planned future love triangle of sorts between Azriel-Mor-Cassian, into which I do think SJM planned to throw Nesta as a big bomb that beautifully blows up Cass's corner of the triangle. But the parts in "Wings and Embers" where Cass says to the reader he is worried about what Mor will think about his fixation on this human woman, I think were meant to preserve some kind of angsty triangle for the next book, which SJM (thankfully) jettisoned. I hate love triangles so I honestly would not have been a fan if that had been where SJM landed.

Now, in ACOWAR and ACOFAS, I think the Mor stuff with Cassian gets a bit more confusing, so I agree with you there. Cassian doesn't know for sure Nesta is his mate until she screams for him during the Battle of Hybern at the end of ACOWAR, so the stuff before that - e.g., him removing his hand from hers - I read in a few ways. I think being buffer to Mor with Azriel all those years messed with his head a lot, and in a way, Mor finally coming to terms with her sexuality is a really solid catalyst for her beginning to distance herself from the triangle dynamic she was a part of for 500 years, which I think was more healthy for everyone involved.

But remember, Nesta is still proud and surly in ACOWAR, not in any inherently bad way but in a way that probably didn't signal to Cassian she was particularly interested in him, even as he was drawn to her like a magnet and couldn't keep away because part of him loves her claws so much. Cass rightly protects his own heart when he has the foresight to do so in ACOWAR and ACOFAS. I always knew they would work their shit out eventually, but during the messy process of doing so I don't begrudge him a little distance when Nesta, in her trauma response to what was happening to her and around her, sometimes lashed out at the strongest individual in her vicinity who she knew could take it like a boulder weathers the storm - that person was always Cassian for her.

When I first read ACOSF, I absolutely assumed going in that Mor was going to be catty about Nessian finally starting to get together. When she wasn't, it was jarring to me. But once I finished my first reading of ACOSF, I came to a striking conclusion about Mor, ACOSF, and SJM:

The story SJM needed to tell in ACOSF would not have been aided or forwarded by Mor intervening in the Nessian dynamic in a catty way, or being a foil to anything about Nesta in that story's arc.

In other words, SJM could have written a version of Nesta and Cassian's book that included Mor challenging Nesta's right to be with Cassian, but that was unequivocally NOT the book SJM wanted or needed to write (hopefully my double negative landed correctly here, lol).

So, SJM pivoted, and sent Mor to Vallahan, so SJM could write the story she needed to write. As a writerly choice, I adore everything about it - Nesta didn't need to be fighting with another woman over rights to her mate, she needed women friendships that were pure and gloriously blank slates upon which and with whom to write and tell her and their collective story - so SJM introduced Emerie and Gwyn. SJM even brought in Mor later to teach Nesta the waltzes, and their brief exchange in which Nesta called her Morrigan and Mor invited her to call her Mor, and Nesta accepted the invitation to do so, is another breathtakingly vulnerable moment for Nesta that fills my heart right up. To this end, the promise that Mor will begin to train with the Valkyries in the next book has me so excited.

Now, there are two lines in ACOSF I still want to comment on (then I'll reign in this very long post, lol). First, I agree that Cassian's observation in his pov of how breathtakingly beautiful Mor is at the cafe toward the start of the book can come off romantic coded, though for him at this point I don't think it is. But whether it is or not, we need to remember he and Nesta still have a whole book's worth of stuff to work through with their romantic relationship.

I suspect SJM included that moment in part to set up some stakes for the Nessian arc - that, although Cassian hasn't had sex since he met Nesta, he is still a man who is drawn to admiring a beautiful woman inside and out. If Nesta had already won his exclusive attention in this regard before any of their arc began in that book, what would be the point of the book? (By the end, I do think Cassian only has eyes for Nesta, and it is absolutely because they claim each other - I don't think in the long run he would have been able to settle for less, and nor should he have.)

And, since Nessian aren't in a relationship at that point in the cafe at the beginning of the book, I'm not mad at him for admiring Mor's beauty per say. I think if Nesta invited it then, he would admire hers a lot more, and with a much more deep seated attraction. ACOSF is about them both letting their inner barriers down to allow the other to love them, so that kind of attraction still needs to be earned between them at that point in their story. His observation about Mor's beauty is in a different category entirely from where Cassian eventually lands with Nesta, so there is nothing threatening about it for me.

The other line that feels weird to me most times I read it, is when Mor baldly tells Nesta early in ACOSF that she would have sent Nesta to live in the Court of Nightmares. The only explanation I have for this moment and exchange is that for SJM it was more in service of Nesta's arc, and less about making sense coming from Mor. What I mean here is, at that moment Nesta feels wretched and all things terrible about herself, and it's a feature of that kind of disordered thinking that others around you either seem to echo what you're thinking about yourself, or sometimes do echo it in reality, if through a trauma response you've hurt those around you (*she says from personal experience*), or if through their own trauma response those around you respond in kind (as I think may have been happening with Mor in this scene).

Do I love that Mor says something so cruel to Nesta in that moment early in Nesta's healing journey? No, I do not. Do I see why it helps to heavily charge these early scenes for Nesta as she truly hits rock bottom regarding her feelings about herself? Yes, I do.

Which leads me to how I'll conclude this. I hope SJM intentionally develops Mor's story so she isn't just a device in the story arcs of others. For better or worse, some kind of reckoning between her and Az needs to happen, likely in the next book, for either to truly move on. But I hope Mor gets the attention a character like her deserves in future books.

I am A-OK with her mostly-absence from ACOSF because I don't think she would have been a productive part of Nesta's healing arc, and at the end of the day that is the heart and soul of ACOSF for me - Nesta healing.

The reason ACOSF-Nessian has my whole heart is because, it's so clear to me the ways Cassian supports Nesta's healing and is the catalyst for a lot of her growth into a person who loves herself and sees herself as worthy and deserving of love and happiness.

If he was a bit of a hot mess in the period between first meeting Nesta and getting to finally be with her as accepted mates, I don't begrudge him that.

[crystallinestars]

"Bullying into submission" is unfortunately an excellent way to put it 😔 People really need to learn that while feeling the need to vent is more than okay (just look at how much I've complained so far lol), making posts / snide comments with the sole aim of creating Drama or Discourse or straight up jumping into someone's space to berate them for quietly enjoying themselves in a way you don't approve of is truly the best recipe if your goal in life is to be miserable 24/7, on top of being a huge dick move.

I was also thinking about what other anons have brought up (how they feel straight up alienated by popular hcs always being one 'extreme' or another with no in-between) and I feel like these discussions (including the ones on social constructs, loved your input about that btw) are all linked by a common factor: some people try to draw hard lines in the sand in order to neatly categorize stuff in easily identifiable boxes or tropes. Sometimes what we could call "the norm" seems so ingrained in people's minds that it does not even occur to them to try and question this status quo, and so a lot of nuance is either lost or not even explored to begin with. At least that's how I see it, I still need to think about this some more.

I'd say that these "hard lines" aren't only drawn between all we've mentioned, but between communities too. I'm going to say this kinda clumsily but like, why are we treating anyone who isn't "just gay / lesbian / straight" as if they were an enemy and/or a threat? Is it some kind of insecurity that can only be soothed by constant validation? Why is it that when someone dares to make something slightly different, we're bringing out the pitchforks?

This hostility (and just the fact that these discussions / this Discourse seems very cyclical) kind of reminds of a tweet I saw a while ago. I unearthed it for the occasion lol:

"People love to pretend it’s so weird that others get upset when you claim something they like is bad lol.

Slandering something that another person appreciates is akin to insulting/questioning their intelligence, especially when it comes to a piece of work."

The original post was about slandering works as a whole, but I think it can also apply to more specific aspects, like enjoying something in particular in a given work. Why are we pretending it's weird that people get upset when you keep telling them (explicitly or implicitly) that their fun is lame at best? I know people love to say "that's just how the internet is, Get Used To It" but honestly? It's such an empty excuse and it makes me want to bang my head on a wall, because why couldn't we just all keep our manners to begin with??

I feel like I'm answering everything in a weird order lol but about Welt, that's pretty much what I had heard about him! I've been thinking that I should at least look into Hi3 a bit, just to see the links between the games and Mihoyo's overall evolution 🤔 And I didn't know about that lore book! I don't even know if I'm surprised about this reaction but I do know that fandoms sometimes confuse the hell out of me because I've seen just as much Guizhong enjoyers as I've seen people shipping Zhongli with Childe??

I'm just going to say it bluntly: people should REALLY pick a struggle and/or another hill to die on, because having a meltdown for something like that is just embarrassing. It does prove your point about the shipping lenses tho, because I can't think about another reason why a LORE BOOK would have made them feel so threatened 💀 I had seen the tantrums about Dottore (apparently he's too evil??) and Raiden (she's not evil enough??) but this?? MAN.

Kind of makes me think that people are lowkey hypocritical with their need to have canon confirmations, because they love to brag about THEIR pairings but as soon as the possibility appears that the devs MIGHT offer some kind of confirmation on one they don't like, even if it's one as 'marginal', for lack of a better word, as this one, they break out in hives. And the Thoma and Ayaka situation is just another proof that 1) YOU SHOULD NEVER FULLY TRUST LEAKS and 2) the bar we talked about keeps getting lower in hell.

And YES! I also felt like there were a lot of things about Alhaitham that were there to tell the players that while it's true he comes off as odd, eccentric, blunt, etc., he's rather kind all things considered! He's letting Kaveh stay in his house even if they don't particularly get along, he sticks to his moral code, he recognized Dehya's capabilities, he helps Tighnari with Collei's education, and so on. He seems to be the type of person that won't go out of their way to be palatable to others, but he also never goes out of his way to hurt anyone? And what's more, if you're willing to hear him out and truly pay attention to what he says, you'll realize that he's actually quite helpful? In a way that he's giving advice and letting people come to their own conclusions? At least that's what I can think about off the top of my head, so it's kind of hysterical to me that he gets reduced to "That Asshole Feeble Scholar".

This ask is getting long again (and messy) but I still want to add that I've seen your discussions about Nilou, Candace and Kokomi with Kaveh and it might be biased and/or controversial of me to say this but honestly? I think people, no matter their identities, just don't like women / don't even acknowledge how much they dislike women. As you said, same-sex pairings (and i'd say BL pairings in particular) are that much more popular and I'm getting pretty sure that it's in part due to the fact people don't pay attention to the female characters because they might be assuming they'll be boring. I've seen so many people bashing Kokomi, especially her story quest, yet they praise characters like Itto to high heavens? I know that it's 'to each their own' but sometimes I do feel like people don't give some (female) characters much of a chance to begin with.

At least to me it's pretty funny to see the difference between how you and the others have talked about your ideas for ships, and how the fandom talk about haikaveh lmao.

Kavelou shippers: I think they could bring out the best in each other, they could bond over their shared love for the arts and share ideas for their respective fields of expertise!

Loud Haikaveh shippers: omg they're roommates lol, when do you think Alhaitham will impregnate his 'c a n o n' malewife?? Why are kavelou idiots such snowflakes, 'conflict' is essential to make a pairing worth it and we're allowed to enjoy some fictional toxicity

Also, a bit of a side note, but it hasn't escaped me that people love to say that "toxic pairings are valid" for their BL preferences, but Acheron and Black Swan get exactly 1 deadly dance video and suddenly it's the most disturbing thing they've ever seen??

Anyway, I've seen you mention at least twice that you're thinking about making either a different blog or creating a discord server for all these rants you receive, and I think it's a lovely idea! I'm pretty sure I have an account on discord that I haven't touched in years so it has probably been deleted by now 😭 If there's anyone else interested in it would be a great alternative for you to separate your writing from the rants :)

Once again, I hope you're having a wonderful day or evening!

🪻

There is a lot to unpack here, but I will try my best to respond to everything. I'm sorry in advance if I don't touch on every point.

Regarding your "hard lines" comments. It's true that people draw boundaries between what they find acceptable and not, and while this would ordinarily be a good thing, here it's more to do with controversial topics like race, sexuality, gender, etc... and I can't help but wonder if the reason for such behavior is due to politics.

Most of this behavior is present in the western and english-speaking parts of the internet where American politics reign supreme. From what I have heard and seen, the progressive side deems everything that is considered the majority (heterosexuality, white skin, male gender, etc) as the opposite of what they stand for, therefore it must be conservative, which is bad. There's a lot more at play here than just progressive vs conservative, but I am not well-versed in politics, so I won't speak on it too much. Plus, this is all just a theory. But as I've said before, the West loves to drag politics into every aspect of their lives, fandoms included.

The quote you found is actually spot-on. Acting surprised when you insult something people enjoy or relate to is surprised pikachu behavior. Though I suspect these people aren't actually surprised, but are just trolling the people they offended, and are gleeful they managed to get under the skin of those whose views they dislike.

I think the lore book tantrum is another example of people wanting their characters to be "shiny toys", as you put it. Having an indication for a NL relationship between playable characters is a no-no for gacha games. It offends a lot of groups of people. For example, those that want to pair Zhongli with Childe, or self-ship with him, and the same applies for the Guizhong side (even though we had no idea what she looked like at the time). For some reason, there's not as much negative reaction if the ship being teased is same-sex though. Might be because it offends less groups, but it's still a baffling phenomenon for me.

Which brings me to the point about female characters.

I agree with you that female characters get hated on. In the anime and manga spheres, have seen a lot of comments about female characters from various fandoms, and the main complain with them was that they are not as fleshed out as their male counterparts. Female characters lack complex writing and character development, and get reduced to plot devices or love interests for the MC. Even in media made by women for women featuring female protagonists, some of these protagonists are pushovers that rely on male characters to save them. There is a desire for women to be equal to men in media, but it's not common to see.

It doesn't help that in Genshin, the first three chapters had bad writing, especially for female characters. Though not all, majority were were one-note characters with not much complexity or plot behind their actions, unlike male characters. This has improved significantly since Sumeru's debut, but I doubt it's enough to change the minds of some people.

So to make my point; female characters get hate for being boring. I also feel like women are the ones who hate on female characters the most? I have seen both fujoshi and yumejoshi communities hate on female characters for being the love interest of their favorite male character and getting in the way of their ships.

I am hesitant to delve into the topic of why some fujoshi hate female characters since it's not something I completely understand. I did a bit of research into why they prefer BL over NL, and while the gripe about female characters being boring was a main factor, there was also a lot of misogyny. I'm sure there are some other reasons aside from these as to why women hate female characters, but this topic is too complex for me to navigate just yet.

I will defend Kokomi with my life 😤 She got a lot of hate even back in her beta, and her story quest came under fire, as well. I thought her story quest was decent, though maybe my judgement is clouded because I love her so much. Regardless, her character is awesome and I relate to her a lot, so Kokomi slander will not be tolerated 😤

Regarding the difference between haikaveh and other Kaveh ships, I can only think that one is a fetishization of a gay relationships, while the other is a genuine appreciation for the dynamic between characters.

I actually saw only positive comments under the Acheron and Black Swan dance video. Yeah, there were jokes it was toxic, but I didn't see anyone complain about it, though I believe you when you say some people found it problematic. BL gets a lot of special treatment, I would say. Everything that's deemed bad/boring in GL and NL pairings is often painted as being better/good if it's BL. I've only seen a couple of "omg toxic yaoi ❤️" posts, and while those were jokes, it's shocking how much people love to pair enemies together. I see a lot of depictions of abuse in BL, and the shippers love it, so I suppose it's not that surprising? I find it concerning, though.

Anyways, thank you for your well-wishes, and have a great day as well!

[thissying]

i am actually interested! as someone who grew up with a jos for a dad, it just drives me slightly insane when people say "oh it's complex and they love you in their own way" as a way to excuse abuse (and it's why i came on so strong). from what we know, jos is (was?) a physically and psychologically abusive person to max (and other people!). i'm genuinely wondering what the nuance is from your pov.

pls keep ur good mood for today but if you want to use me as a jumping off point go for it. you can answer me privately if you want!

I'm sorry for your experiences and if people have been using that as an excuse for how your father treated you. Because it really isn't and it shouldn't be.

When it comes to Jos and Max specifically though, without excusing, diminishing or negating what we know of what we generally consider awful things, like I said, I do think it's complex and I do think it's not just Max that loves Jos but that Jos loves Max, too. We each bring our own experiences to how we see them, with a limited view point because we're not in their lives, of course but from everything I've seen and heard and read in (Dutch and foreign) media from themselves and people close to them I think he's not, like someone else said on that original post that started this convo, a one dimensional villain. People rarely are, of course. But generally, fandom does seem to view, talk about and write him like that.

For me, the nuance is visible in the pictures like in that post, in the way they talk to and about each other, how their relationship was so incredibly intricate and that they're still very much in each other's lives. It's Jos being there for family dinners at Sophie's, laughing at a joke Max makes at his expense, it's Victoria saying Jos always called her every day after the divorce and being supportive when she didn't know what to do with her life, it's Max happily explaining he listens to music that reminds him of him and Jos on the road in the van during his karting days when they drove thousands of kilometers to Italy and back all the time, it's Max right now wanting Jos to be very much a part of his future race team plans, etc.

I think none of that would be happening if Jos would be like fanon Jos (loveless, abusive, disapproving of everything Max is and does) no matter how loyal children can be towards abusive parents or how hard his management works on PR.

I see no reason to assume Jos is abusive towards Max in the present, btw. Unless it's because Sky tries to imply things when a qualifying goes bad and Jos is visibly bummed. But I think that's more of a Sky problem.

(It doesn't mean I like him. And should other things ever come to light, my opinion might change, too.)

[sunieepo]

one of my biggest pet peeves with the bloodborne fanbase (from reading fics, mostly) is that everyone assumes that gender roles in yharnam were the same as gender roles in irl victorian england

...but this is textually not true. yes bloodborne is heavily inspired by victorian england but it's definitely not exactly the same. for starters, obviously, yharnamites worship eldritch gods which isn't at all in line with the cultural values informed by following christianity (i dont think i need to elaborate on what i mean by this)

the most obvious low hanging fruit example is vicar amelia, who is laurence's successor and current head of the healing church... and a woman, something that would never be allowed in victorian england era christianity (and honestly isnt even allowed today in many denominations)

the other which is slightly more obscure but even more valuable is that yharnamites are, in-canon, heavily inspired by the culture of the pthumerians. whether yharnam was literally built in the name of pthumerian queen yharnam or if it was simply named after her later is unclear, but the yharnamites evidently hold pthumerian society in high regard. and the pthumerians were almost certainly a matriarchy (female rulers, and only women were embalmed in coffins). i think of pthumerian to yharnam the way one might think of what rome was to the european countries later influenced by it.

other little things are:

the existence of gratia: an old hunter who was a woman renowned for her physical prowess. not very "womanly", yet clearly exalted by the church; item description refers to her as heroic

clothing details: most clothing items have very little differences between male and female hunters. most notable that does off the top of my head is that the church set for women has stiletto heels, which i think falls in line with my belief that most women of the church were blood saints. nevertheless, you do fight a pair of female church hunters in the dlc who seem to have no issue kicking your ass in said heels. this could be said to be due to game dev laziness, but importantly there are sets that Do have gender differences (like the cainhurst set...)

cainhurst: cainhurst is commonly pointed out by fans as the "odd one out" for its matriarchal vibes, so people assume yharnam must not have been. i agree, but that still doesnt mean yharnam had the same gender roles as the ones we have irl. in fact if anything, theres a distinct lack of emphasis placed on gender in cainhurst item descriptions or even alfred's hateful ramblings; although we assign misogynist intent to him, pointedly what he (and item descriptions) take most issue with isnt the #feminism, but rather cainhurst's obsession with nostalgia and bombast.

this isnt to say that yharnam had No gender roles. it did. just Different ones. (and im not saying it was a matriarchy either btw.) the existence of blood saints indicates that women likely were relegated to religious roles in yharnam. women who could not become blood saints probably became hunters of the church. characters like yurie also show that amelia wasnt an isolated case; women also comprised some amount of choir members as well, indicating that they likely regularly held high positions within the church hierarchy. additionally, lady maria being one of the byrgenwerth scholars indicates that women were allowed as students alongside their male peers, even if they may have been less common. all of these things are markedly different from how victorian gender dynamics were.

its just a bummer because i actually think the gender dynamics of bloodborne are super unique and interesting and are way more nuanced than a simple "women and men swap roles" type thing. but then all these fans who claim to be bloodborne loreheads just supplant irl victorian england gender roles into yharnam and call it a day when that is like... at best lazy/uninspired and at worst directly contrary to canon.

i rly mean no hate ofc (ive even enjoyed reading fics that include such things, even if i disagree with them heavily) and im happy to discuss these thoughts further, i just want to draw attention to smth about the bloodborne lore that i think is sadly overlooked because, when it comes to bloodborne and its feminine themes, ppl get much more caught up on the more overt pregnancy symbolism (which is understandable, but doesnt exist in isolation of the above). i have a lot more to say on this topic but this post is already getting long enough so ill just stop there lol

[synthville]

so what im getting is that it was absolutely unnecessary to isolate raffi on gotham city in order for her story to go on.

a story that’s so halfhearted that five episodes in—halfway to the end. btw—her motivation is yet to be explained (why go back to this sector of intelligence work when teaching seemed to be fulfilling? was she made to do this?? did she volunteer because her son now lives on this planet now apparently?? was losing elnor cris and possibly seven so painful that burying herself in work seemed like a better option??? who knows! not me!!) and it’s definitely a retreat character-wise but the fact that they still haven’t laid the groundwork to make this stick is kind of amazing lol. it’s the way they’re not even pretending to give a fuck about her or any of the other women characters for me—they said you’re a womb or a subordinate ladies pick one and shut the hell up LMAO?

the fact that the ‘real plot’ is happening on that other ship while everything raffi does is basically an afterthought with backstory slipped in between the cracks like aged caulk is so disheartening and pathetic. star trek picard make an effort maybe. she’s a polarizing character that’s been stuck in impossible situations, weighed down with retractions and stereotypes (they thread the line but HM) because the narrative continually refuses to meaningfully engage with her and a lot of fans of the show wont examine their own biases to see why they have such a viscerally negative reaction to a complicated black woman character that’s good at what she does, knows it and refuses to kneel at the foot of their hero’s :)

and if it wasn’t for ms hurd elevating this performance with sheer will, massive talent and the whip of that (sexy) ponytail? shit would be so much worse. but it’s still bad! because instead of giving her a nuanced, thoughtful send off she’s once again being made to suffer for the nth time. because why? oh right so wise man worf can guide her to the light lol give me a fuckin break.

and it’s no accident that if you cut raffi out (which they literally did in ep4 miss musiker you WILL be avenged) the story could more or less proceed as usual. that’s by design.

because legacy characters or not, im simply not buying that the main white cast members (plus two interlopers idgaf about those new guys and they’re doing nothing to make me care either. pick a random channel and their stories are being told right now live and in color like don’t piss me off) just so happen to be on the ship with the lead yet the sole woc is sent away on some underbaked adventure because ‘reasons?’ please. this season literally could not be more transparent about the audience they’re catering to and who/whose stories are of importance and consideration.

and i knew this would probably happen once the premise for s3 was revealed but i still can’t get over how obvious it is that there really was no plan for raffi and that she only happened to bypass the cull of the la sirena crew because she was romantically linked with seven at the time. which is baffling considering how things are (not) going between them (#theyareMARRIEDletthemTALKandKISSandREST)

and it’s not just them like everything about this season is quite literally happening just because. every slightly interesting or fresh development (and character it’s true) from the previous seasons has been dismissed or diminished and for what? secret sons and man pain? ew lmao. no suspense no lingering threads just excessive shots of ships, an aggressive insistence on biological families and rampant, shameless references to past glory. a mess.

[reorientation]

(This is the "centering" anon - btw, such a fantastic reply, I've been shaking since I saw it.) Slightly veering into real talk, do you think it's realistic to hope for someone who sees all of me? Instead of just someone who seeks to use my lapse in judgement as weakness to control me? I'd like to be controlled but in a sexy way; even in my "I'm a woman" moments (additionally I'm definitely still genderqueer) I can't separate my feminism from that experience of womanhood. Are there men out there wanting this mess of juxtaposition? Everything about what I want feels wrong, and it's ironically resonant to how I felt as a teen. Really tired of feeling this way and hoping for advice on how to engage in a healthy way (instead of constantly feeling drawn to return to anonymous cam sites where I have the best orgasms of my life then panic that the wrong men will find me or expose me). Thanks for your time and for your skill with word-weaving! If you don't feel equipped to answer this, no worries, I know this is probably a Lot.

(Previously)

Okay, a sharp swerve into seriousness: this kind of advice is definitely beyond my personal experience as a cis man (albeit one with many non-cis friends). However, on general principles and based on my knowledge of kink, I think I can offer this:

...do you think it's realistic to hope for someone who sees all of me? ... Are there men out there wanting this mess of juxtaposition?

What you're asking is the wrong question. It's very tempting to add up all your faults and complexities and ask yourself "who's looking for this?" - but people don't fall in love with bundles of abstract attributes, and they also don't add up complexities until hitting some threshold and going "nah, this is too confusing, I'm out".

You find someone who likes you as a person - your sense of humor, your taste in books, the way you smile - and who you like in return, and then you try to make it work. Sometimes it doesn't, due to circumstances or communication problems or personality conflicts or any number of other things. But sometimes it does. And when someone cares about you as a person, they're willing to learn your nuances and contradictions, because they're part of someone who they could come to love.

And as to your situation specifically:

I'd like to be controlled but in a sexy way; even in my "I'm a woman" moments (additionally I'm definitely still genderqueer) I can't separate my feminism from my experience of womanhood.

I'm biased by my experience with disproportionately queer friend groups in a liberal city in the US - so YMMV a lot based on local demographics - but "AFAB genderqueer feminist sub" doesn't seem unusual to me in the slightest, or something that would be a barrier to finding partners! Also, in my experience, people into real-life kink are disproportionately liberal (and nerdy - if you're trying to locate people who are into BDSM without going to a munch, find a D&D group), so the feminism part really shouldn't be a problem.

Gender play specifically requires an understanding partner, but with mutual trust and a bit of explanation, I don't think it's all that taboo or hard to understand - not more than e.g. a feminist woman wanting to be treated like property in the bedroom.

Really tired of feeling this way and hoping for advice on how to engage in a healthy way

As with most things in life, the healthy approach involves spending less time on the internet. If you want a romantic partner, find hobby groups or other social venues. If you want to explore kink specifically, you can visit some munches (non-sexual regular meetups for people involved with kink) to dip your toe in. Pursue things you're interested in by forming personal connections with people who you can trust, and you'll probably find things a lot easier.

[dykesynthezoid]

ooo 3, 13, and 14 👀

let’s gooooo

I tried to edit this down but it’s still extremely long. I’m not sorry

3. Screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Oh but there’s so many. So, so many. Truly an unending amount.

A somewhat funny but overwhelmingly bizarre take I’ve seen is that when fandom has a female character they don’t like, they just decide to claim she’s homophobic??? Lmao?? Like they’re both so invested in all their gay ships and also hate her so much for not being 100% accommodating to everyone else at all times that their solution is to claim that. She must be the token straight who’s also a homophobe.

It’s always the same type of female character too btw. “Katara is homophobic” “Nancy Wheeler is homophobic” “Sam is homophobic” literally people hate women SO MUCH and the shit they have to come up with to justify it can be honestly fascinating. People will see a girl who has been even slightly bossy or headstrong or complicated once in their fucking lives and decide she’s the most evil bitch to ever exist. Like get over yoursellllffff!!! It’s SO embarassing for them

13. Worst blorbofication

Any blorbofication that 1. completely sandpapers any interesting flaws or nuance, 2. entirely invents positive or sympathetic traits that the character does not actually possess; these treats are frequently stolen from other characters within the same media, but who are in some way marginalized and therefore fans ~just can’t put their finger on it, but they don’t like them as much as their blorbo for some reason… But here’s all the character traits they stole from them and gave to their blorbo to make the blorbo seem cooler, of course

(Bro people will literally see a female character or a character of color with an interesting trait and go “YOINK!” and just slap it onto their boring white guy blorbo)

I would say an example of the first type, though, is Terry Silver. I don’t think it’s strange at all to feel affection for his character or be fascinated by him. I mean, look at him. There’s some wacky shit going on there, how can you not be fascinated? I do think it’s strange to build up a thing in your head where he’s always the victim, nothing is really his fault, he can’t be blamed, poor poor Terry he’s so sad and lonely, etc. Like idk maybe he wouldn’t be so lonely if he weren’t Terrible To Be Around because he actively enjoys hurting people. And I like that about him! I like that he’s so campily evil!!!

Anyway just let him be a fucked up little weirdo!! It’s what makes him interesting!! He’s literally a psycho biddy mixed with a byronic hero in the shape of the campiest gay villains imaginable, love and cherish him as he is.

19. That one thing you see in fics all the time

Hmm. Okay. So. I have a couple of these; one I truly dislike and another I just tend to note and go “hmm, interesting.” Let’s start with the more controversial one.

So. There’s such a thing in TKK and CK as canon-typical racism, right? It’s a reality that exists in both. And I think it would be wrong to expect any author, regardless of race, to just wholly ignore that, because again, it’s a reality of the story (and of the real world).

However. Would it be nice if people could let you know when the story is going to be full of slurs? Yeah, I think it would.

I understand why and how those are things that end up needing to be touched on. I don’t think authors should have to censor themselves in that aspect. But also; there’s such a flippancy, in how sooo many ck and tkk authors approach using those things in their stories. And I think it’s really fucking easy to be flippant, right, if it doesn’t affect you, if you’re not a part of the race that’s being targeted, and especially if you’re white. Of course it doesn’t seem like a big deal.

I also think people seem to genuinely somehow forget that someone could read what they’ve written and be triggered by it. Like. As if; in particular; Asian people don’t exist or wouldn’t be reading their stories??? It’s very strange. And it’s so easy to put in a little warning! It’s so easy! And why wouldn’t people be sensitive about something like that, when fandom racism can be so rampant on a broader scale?

And you could say oh, well people should expect that content because it’s in the source material. But like… we all regularly tag and warn for things as milquetoast as say, underage drinking. Which is also in the source material. So I’m really not getting how popping a quick content warning for canon-typical racism is so difficult.

(I also think some people genuinely seem to forget; or don’t care; about the history and trauma that comes attached to certain derogatory terms and slurs. “J*p” should not be something you are just throwing into your fic for fun. You need to have really thought about why you’re putting it there, the purpose it’s serving, what you’re saying about the character who says it).

On a slightly lighter note! Something I see all the time in Lawrusso fics (and sometimes other M/M fics with Daniel as well) is people just sort of struggling to figure out what to do with Amanda. And I’m not trying to condemn that, at least not altogether.

And I certainly prefer the current trend of her being supportive and finding any developments hilarious to the earlier portrayals of her just being the villain for no reason. But also, just leaving her in the wingwoman position and not bothering to add any dimension there can leave her very flat, and it’s a position female characters get put in often in regards to M/M ships.

One solution is of course in going the poly route, because it usually necessitates at least a little bit of rumination on Amanda’s perspective. But even then there’s no guarantee people add any dimension to her.

And of course; we’re speaking in trends here. This isn’t an issue of individual preference, or a pursuit in lambasting anyone on their personal work; it’s a discussion of something much larger.

I don’t think Amanda should somehow have to be an extremely nuanced focal point in every M/M Daniel fic (that’s just not possible, for one, lmao). But when people do choose to include her in a major way, I think it’s good to stop and consider how you can add a little depth or nuance. I mean, I’ve had to struggle with that myself, and I’m never really sure if I’ve succeeded or not. But I thought about it, and I kept it in mind, and I think even that can make a difference.

I myself often go the divorce route in writing her; although it. Usually doesn’t even have anything to do with what Daniel and Johnny are doing? It’s just that I think Amanda deserves to be with someone who’s not obsessed with karate. And I like Damanda, and I love Daniel, but like. Idk man! It’s a whole lot! And I think anyone could get tired of it. She quite literally did not sign up for that. And if you think her being Daniel’s wife puts her under some kind of obligation to always be understanding and always take his side and never question him; well. Ew, frankly. Just because Daniel also deserves support doesn’t mean she has to be on the same page as him or she’s a bad wife.

She’s literally her own person!! Let her be her own person!!!

(Literally I wish I could pay for her and Carmen to just go on a long fucking vacation. Let them have a fucking break and have mind-blowing gay sex away from all the karate nonsense and their identities as partners and mothers. What if they were just two hot perimenopausal women with complex inner lives and complicated pasts experiencing life together on a beach in Cabo. Y’know. And they could have a time together that’s about them, they’re the point, they haven’t somehow been relegated to a background pairing. And also there’s the gay sex).

(I think I got off track. What was I talking about? Oh, right.)

I think how quickly my mind will shove Daniel and Johnny out of way the moment Amanda and Carmen appear IS #feminism tbh. Like they might as well not exist to me when Amanda and Carmen are onscreen together, or when a story’s supposed to be about them. Daniel who? I’ve never heard of him. Also I think people should write long, beautiful Carmanda fics and then tag Lawrusso just bc they appear in the background for five seconds. I think it would be hilarious.

[thefinn-ternet]

#Gravity Stairs 

first thoughts following  receipt on Saturday - so I've played the vinyl &  listened to the cd in the car on repeat.  I also listened to the ripped cd  while walking the woofer, always keeping the tracks in sequence. By late Sunday I put them on random & found I could recognise the tracks beyond the singles.

Sunday evening, I spent with the lyrics clips on YouTube, I could feel those hooks beginning to connect, especially at bedtime & I started to think of 1st thoughts & track comparisons.

MAGIC PIANO- This is a beauty - a mid-tempo song with a dreamy melancholy start that gains momentum as it flows to a very satisfying climax, similar to Pour le monde?

I love 💕 this song - what a great opener🎶

TEENAGE SUMMER

The singles on this record are spot on, & if this song had been released in the 90's it would have been huge. I can't hear the Simon & Garfunkel comparison 🤷‍♀️ , but in terms of tension, release & momentum, it feels  a bit like When you Come?

THE HOWL

This is magnificent, it would easily have been at home on Together Alone with Distant Sun. I particularly admire its lack of a chorus. My Favourite single by a country mile.

ALL THAT I CAN EVER OWN

This is a really sweet song that takes flight with a stunning middle 8, similar to Anthem or maybe Don't Stop Now? It also has some lovely lyrical phrases.

OH HI

This is a sugar lump of a song, this version is better than the demo Neil put out, but only in small doses and over all I think I prefer the acoustic live versions I have heard.

SOME GREATER PLAN

Neil said this is a Mr Pye song but with the lyrics changed, which makes me wonder what it was like before?🤔 It's a really good song, I like it a lot but maybe it feels a bit out of place on this record?

A brief word about sequencing on this record. I'm not married to it ATM. They did the same on Dreamers, putting the singles all on side 1, for some people that may not help flow, side 2 being a good but less commercial set of songs.

Before I chat about side 2 - some thoughts on the packaging. The artwork is brilliant & I have no problems with the Beatles homage, but why the jewel case cd? I thought Neil hated them & the more recent cd's haven't been in them. They crack & break, I'm not a fan.

Black Water White Circle - having said side 2 is good (it is) I am struggling with this song - there are things about it I like, touches of Sinner? But I'm also not sure 🤷‍♀️ anyway I can't pin down what's going on here, maybe this one needs more time to grow? Or maybe it's a song that's not for me.

Blurry Grass & I can't Keep up with you -

I've put these 2 together because they are both fast paced hooky bangers. Like Fames is or Tall Trees? But in a more Indie grungy less pop style. Definitely growers, really fun tunes🎶

Thirsty - any song with greyhounds in the lyrics will get my attention and this sweet little love song is definitely a grower for me 🎶

Night song - so you are slightly pissed but nicely chilled out having had a brilliant evening - this is how this song starts, but it also feels a bit like 2 songs welded together? which isn't a bad thing - it works - imho it a great closing track.

Btw one of my twitter friends shared this link, this seems to be the demo for night song.

https://www.neilfinn.com/journ...1/12/24/xmas-message

Well these are my views so far, I like Dreamers but I think this is a better record - looking forward to listening more - discovering more nuances in the music, thinking this will be a long player🎶

[myopicry]

Reading your responses like a morning newspaper teehee

Tysm for all of the praise/compliments aaaaaa! >\\\< I'm incapable of explaining things in a short and concise way so I'm really glad that you see so much value in the way I explain things and just generally the points I bring up! Thank you, myo!! Also, you should cut yourself some slack, I may not know you personally but you seem like a chill person. I radblr and the general tumblr website tbh you're quite nuanced, patient and someone who overall tries to sympathise with others compared to many users from what I've seen. And your writing isn't that bad, I understand it at least. Or maybe it's 2 rambly people understanding each other bc we are alike idk :p (clown to clown communication)

Definetely take me up on my offer! I won't judge you for whatever you choose to share nor how, and I'd be very happy to help even just a little bit :]

I like how you explained things BTW! It made me think about once again how I went from finding the tra (is that the term to use here?) label of lesbian/sapphic more inclusive and progressive and poetic and yada yada to now just going "uuuuuuh I'm just into female bodies I dunno mate lol". A majority of my friends are trans or cis but very trans positive (I think I mentioned this in the past??) so I think ever since my views have shifted slightly I avoid talking about my orientation. I don't think they'll dog pile me for using the wrong words or whatever, they're not like that and I'm sure they wouldn't care much, but it does feel alienating to basically have different definitions for something so important(?)

They're also a lot (and I mean A LOT) more into the "lgbt culture" stuff (online inside jokes pretty much I suppose) meanwhile I've distanced myself from that so it adds to another level of discomfort despite us finding a lot of solidarity in each other as a bunch of queer people. Also, I'm someone who LOVES talking about these sorts of things and am a big fan of debating (guilty pleasures 😔) so my little heart is sad to have such restrictions. Womp womp

This also made me think of my younger sister, she's still a kid and doesn't know much about queer things but she has some basics down I suppose. Once my parents and I were joking about match making me with a lesbian non binary (afab) friend and my sister protested that I couldn't possibly be attracted to them because I'm into girls and they're not one. For the first time I didn't know what to tell her. I guess normally I would've explained to her that "lesbians can like enbies bc they're not men" but I also don't believe in gender anymore an things working that way. But I couldn't tell her "I don't think gender exists and that that factors into my attraction rlly" bc then I'd have to explain a perspective very different form what she knows so far and would then have to explain to my parents why my views changed and it's exhausting just to write about LMAO.

All of this more anecdotal and less "proper discussion about social stuff and politics" talk to say labels are indeed silly these days and I'm kind of resenting how my change in views makes me happier about multiple aspects of my life but subsequently isolates me and puts me in difficult positions at times. Makes me a bit worried about my prospects in terms of romantic partners lol, though I'd imagine once you go out actually looking for people, they're a lot more chill and willing to disagree on things but also understand your intentions and let it be that and won't call you a bigot TwT (I hope I'm not coming off as trying to call myself a martyr LMAO)

I guess that segways into the fact that I'm therefore happy to have found your blog where I feel like I can barf out my thoughts and hit send on the inbox and get a valuable response and pleasant conversation from someone on here lol

AAAAAA THIS IS TOO MUCH WORD VOMIT I will now eclipse myself and hope for the best! Bai!!!

~🪼

thank you for all the nice words :0 my ego has never been fed so well !! I am a bit too harsh on myself but I consider it part of the job of what I do on this blog...using social media in a non-self aggrandizing way is always my goal, and I also find translating the impulse to self-deprecate into small bits of snarky reflection in my writing a much better alternative to saying it out loud in real life and making everyone around me uncomfortable lolol

but enough about me! I really just wanted to highlight a part of your message, the part about how some of your new changes in view makes you happier in some aspects of life but it makes a lot of new problems. that's literally so real. in a way, it's like I've been able to see the world in a clearer, less filtered view once I let go of held biases and focused more on reality, but it really really is tough trying to talk to people who still have those mental filters (for better or for worse).

hence, the existence of this blog for me lmao. it really is just the consequence of my desire to air out my observations that people in talk to in real life simply wouldn't understand, and I feel like I say this a lot, but I am truly so delighted that literally any other person can even get something valuable out of this for themselves! it proves that I guess we're really not alone out here in this kinda fucked up world, which is so relieving to know after coming to revelations how you're essentially the minority of a minority and every new complex thought you have propelling you towards actualization is also quickly shrinking the pool of other people who you can truly trust or those who will actually understand you. it is genuinely very nice to know that there's even at least just one person who can relate to a shared experience! one of the nicest benefits of the internet (among a sea of downsides lmao)

the dating thing also hits home a little too hard lolol, even though I swear I won't get into a relationship until I can actually be a decent partner, it sure is lonely sometimes and i can't help but think about it anyways, and man oh man does the dating pool (in my area) get smaller and smaller as I think about it...

but as you say, most people are understanding and honestly, even when you come at something from a different perspective, I find most people who value progress and kindness and understanding do fundamentally agree to some extent with what I also believe. in a way, because some notions about the world (specifically in feminism too) are just undeniable, and a lot of experiences (especially shared within afab people) just sort of make people subconsciously aware of certain truths. so, hopefully, wishing well-read, feminist, nuanced, and compassionately curious girlfriends for the both of us lolol !!

[ssaalexblake]

I am so deeply sick of men on the internet feeling the oppressive need to make nuisances of themselves when nobody, least of all me, asked, but fine. I’ll bite. I’m in a bad mood. Might cheer me up. This is me reeling in my pettiness, i Almost decided to go through your posts and add my negative unsolicited opinion to a bunch of them instead to teach an abject lesson on Not being a rude git, but alas, I am not 16 years old and will instead just do something still too immature for my age but slightly less so.  

A) if i see one more person on the goddamn internet say 13 was talking about capitalism in kerblam when she was, strictly speaking, actually talking about an AI in a capitalist system, i’m gonna. Well, I don’t know, but you’re all getting rather droll with this harping and have been for approximately the last... 3 years. And actually, the ai plot has aged interestingly if you ask me, considering the state of the internet right now. It’s an interesting food for thought thing, if you ask me. Is this not the aim of the show? To address societal issues and create discussion? Because it seems to me that if you view it from the perspective of thinking about AI in business and you Don’t think the guy who murders people to make a point and cries about it when he gets the wrong person is morally correct, then it becomes interesting as a thought exercise. 

AI absolutely has its uses, I heard on the radio the other day that people were using AI to try and work out who an unknown soldier from one of the world wars was, from scanning military records and the like. I personally think that’s a reasonable usage. Get it to point an actual person in the right direction and then they can try and verify it with dna and the like. However, using AI to say, replace writers or artists in the film and tv industry is, we can agree, a super bad not good thing! The system is being abused to abuse and take advantage of others BC capitalism! Is the existence of ai the problem? that’s not an existential question I have the chops to conclude upon but i’ve read some interesting thoughts lately, but you’ll note Kerblam makes a point of saying that it ends a human led company, Not an AI led company. 

I’m not saying it was written as some kind of prophetic masterpiece, but it has gained nuance as it aged imo. Sadly. I’d prefer to have had no ground to stand on than have the mess we have right now but here we are anyway. Reminds me of some old classic who serials that have, sadly, come entirely true.  

Also, even the writer of that ep has said he has no idea what his point was, and considering some of the utter monstrosities this show has afforded us in previous eras without anybody having to apologise for the whole era for a dud, it’s amazing how the one with the girl doctor is used as a perpetual Gotcha and not the others. Truly fascinating! Good lord, the politics in the zygon two parter that everybody raves about is Horrific in many ways and nobody gives a damn about that. That was Two whole episodes! Can i write off 12 now? 

B) Even if she wasn’t talking about ai, the idea that One bad episode counteracts the anti-capitalist themes in Spyfall, Orphan 55 (where the rich Literally get eaten btw, literally by the 99% they victimised, it’s there in the episode) and nikola tesla’s night of terror. To only name a few. There are more. Is funny.

Because like, the statement that this era is Pro capitalism/pro perpetual victimhood at the hands of a dollar sign requires You to ignore a whole host of episodes to support that claim, however, another statement that it is anti-capitalist requires me to only write Kerblam off as a bad episode ( if you agree that the main point there is capitalism, which I don’t necessarily). Anyway. One single episode. Like, is that the math we’re Really doing here? Because it leaves me suddenly having to write off pretty much every show I love as awful. 

Do you wish to discuss the propping up of Tesla as a monument to mankind’s ingenuity with no thought for monetary gain, and his death in poverty (something something no hope no reward no witness), over the disdain Edison is regarded with by all the characters for being a money hungry thief? Do you wish to discuss the portrayal of Barton trying to kill and reduce the working classes to mindless shells for his own benefit as the only ~worthy one and his place as a villain because he sees wealth as the only sense of worth a human can have? About how he is exposed as a monster and has to run? Do you wish to discuss the scumbaggery of The American (I never learnt his name and do not intend to) displayed blatantly as a scumbag to be mocked (i’ll get back to him later). Do we want to talk about the show addressing the intersectionality of said scumbag propping up the UK government and police force by selling them violent weapons to make a fast and illegal in many ways buck, because hmmm I think that point is Vastly overlooked in terms of themes. That prime minister only just lasted longer than Truss. You’ll note she paid for her sins in death in the show. Which Truss did not, but we can’t have it all can we! 

How about how in Orphan 55 the only people allowed to live were the ones in no way responsible for killing the earth and the 99%? The non human workman and his son, and 13 and the fam. The rest, the descendants of the rich were all slaughtered and eaten as payment for their crimes. I get that they didn’t go full Alien with blood splatter for organs flying about, but this show is watched by small children. I would pay them to refilm a version aimed at adults tho. 

I could go on but i’m cutting myself off. 

and C) The American. The American whose plot was never wrapped up. The American who was tipped to come back. That american. 

See. You may not have noticed this thing that happened back in 2020. It was this virus, it’s still around but we’ve got like, vaccines and stuff now. But back in 2020 it sent the entire world into standstill (or into total quarantine if you happened to be an island nation with a competent government that was successful in locking down the entire place) and death counts were you know, horrifying to watch on the news of a day. I gave up watching the news. Everything was bad. Everybody learnt how to make sourdough and it’s all its been in bakeries since (this is an issue. sourdough is rank and it’s all anybody sells anymore). Well, yeah, this kind of fucked up literally everything. Shockingly, that included TV shows. 

13′s era, in order to not kill the cast and crew, had the episode count slashed so they could take more time filming what they did do safely. They had it slashed Again mid filming a serial story! They had to cut two episodes on the fly! They did not come out of this unscathed. 

There was also an issue of the borders between the US and UK not necessarily being the most crossable at points due to contagion risk (that was a gross understatement) and idk here’s the thing, that american guy’s plot? wasn’t more important that 13′s, of Yaz’s, or the master’s, or Dan’s. And even if it Was, the guy apparently lives in NYC and LA (yes, i looked it up to say this Just to make sure), so to say that having him in an episode would have been more trouble than it was worth, and to a point an actual danger, is factually true. Even if he Were allowed to enter the country, it would first require total isolation for two weeks, then a slow slog of filming, and then would he have been allowed to go back home? Questionable? Would the guy Want to do it under these circumstances? I can see how somebody just starting out would want the exposure, but He’s not hard up for work, I see him in stuff all the time. He’s a well established actor who doesn’t need a leg up. 

Basically there ain’t nobody thick enough to not work out that a season filmed during the height of covid here not managing to wrangle foreign guest stars is the fault of the virus and not the writing. It’s disingenuous to the extreme to not take into account real world events for the last of 13′s seasons. They were clearly setting him up to return and face his music, i was dreading it happening because i found him just about barable in one episode, I wanted to drop kick him into a sinkhole after the second and no amount of him suffering and dying would have made up for having to put up with him alive before hand to me. 

So basically, had this kind of crap discourse appeared in a decade i’d be kind of thrilled that the future ‘kids these days’ had no clue about Just what we went through in that rather dark part of viral history, because that means it hasn’t happened again, but it’s been like 2 years.

There were tons of things I wanted that I didn’t get because of covid fucking everything up with this show, but that just sucks for me and was unavoidable due to extreme circumstance and I’m not a baby. Ask me, mega fan, if i’d prefer a full episode count with all plot threads wrapped up neatly or nobody on the crew dying due to rushing and i’d pick nobody potentially dying. 

Calling Any of the things stemming from said circumstances a quirk of the writing or being relevant to the era’s themes is So disingenuous it’s galling. They worked with what they had, which was not a lot and was in no way a product of the era’s Vision or whatever you wish to call it. 

The unfairness trained at the ‘girl’ era that is not at the others and the perpetual same talking points are so very old. 

But hell i don’t actually care if you hate it, but you made me waste however long it took me to read that pointless paragraph and made it my problem when I cannot explain how much I did not ask or do not care. Again, I don’t go on peoples posts and tell them their things suck. I am an asshole yeah, but i’m not a prick. And i don’t ever assume total strangers are gonna give a damn what I have to say on their posts because they really Really don’t.  

I feel like 13's era is much more grounded in reality than the others. I think that throws people. It's still ridiculous and fantastical but it leans far more into the idea that This, for however silly it can be and that the doctor is real here, is the world You live in. These are your problems be it societal or personal. The doctor can and will help, but they can only do so much. They cannot magically fix a societal issue no matter how much they want to, they can't solve us killing our planet. They cannot stop violent people using violence for the sake of it. They can't solve systematic poverty. There is optimism in hope in that 'hey You can fix this if you want to and try' but the Doctor isn't expected to have an answer. They cannot come up with a band aid to fix. Societal issue in one fifty minute episode but they sure can yell at people about it.

It puts it on Us.

Which honestly, the state of the world? It's not a bad challenge to issue.

[allthebrokenpromises]

(Just a warning my internet cut out when I tried to post this ten minutes ago and I copy-pasted it from a screenshot so there may be spacing issues.)

A trope that consistently ruins media for me is the good old "that's not a disability, it's a super power!" It makes me madder because when it turns out that while the disability a character has isn't 'cured' it's associated with them being the Chosen One of their universe.

Take for example, Team Starkid's Black Friday. It's a decent musical, an engaging plot, but Hannah as a character is something that I really can't take. She has difficulty coping with the world around her because SHE'S SOME KIND OF INTER-DIMENSIONAL CONNECTION AND THE ALIENS ARE FIGHTING WITH HER AS A WITNESS. Meanwhile a lot of the audience is going "look, she's stimming! Autistic icon!" Thing is, she isn't. She may have been written to display autistic traits, but she as a character is NOT AUTISTIC she's MAGICAL and this is NOT OK. If people are recognising a character as representative of a group of people when the character is actually just written with magic powers to serve the plot, it's not ok. People with real disabilities may be capable of things normal people can't easily do, and they may not. But one thing's for sure MY AUTISM IS NOT A MAGICAL SUPERPOWER.

It is a truth widely acknowledged that in fiction disability is often cured, and this is harmful to people with real disabilities. I would argue that disability actually being a superpower is more problematic than curing it, because it doesn't just go away, it's helpful. It's called DISability for a reason. I complained about this to a friend with ADHD and he said "it's essentially telling someone who's hallucinating that the toaster is talking to them" which isn't entirely accurate but still follows my line of reasoning so I'm including it. I will now be going through some good and bad examples.

Encanto: Bruno's OCD. Not the most nuanced portrayal of OCD as I understand it, but a win for it not being either 'cured' or plot relevant. It's not explicit to audience members who don't enjoy researching their media, and it's a slightly stereotyped portrayal, but it's still good. B+.

Nino Kuni (the movie not the game): Does a decent job of actually addressing the impact of disability but turns out to be plot relevant and as a result is cured in the end. C.

Percy Jackson: ADHD and Dyslexia turn out to be plot relevant disabilities and superpowers because the characters belong in an environment that is catered to their disabilities. Characters still struggle with their disabilities at times. Percy is surprised when Annabeth, a person who has spent her life in an environment suited to her disabilities struggles with the same things he does outside this environment because she seems so put together. I like it. A+.

How To Train Your Dragon (movies): Main duo are missing limbs. This limits them in some ways. They are vikings, so they don't really care and do things anyway. A.

Bubble: (Netflix movie, recentish, what prompted this rant) Main character has an Auditory Processing Disorder. This is initially shown as a superpower, though it's shown to have an impact on his life. (I have a lot of other bones to pick with this movie btw but I'm trying to focus on the disability representation) He talks about how he struggles/has struggled with sound significantly (for maybe five minutes). He has noise cancelling headphones to help him with this.But when he takes them off he's in tune with the magic of the city or whatever. Shortly after he opens up about how he has issues with sound, he loses his headphones. Everyone else suddenly remembers he has issues with sound while he is sitting at a loud party and ask if he's ok with the noise. He shrugs and apparently has no non-magical hearing issues for the rest of the film aside from one half-hearted effort at blocking one ear while doing a war cry. Garbage. F. Also the Group Dad is missing a leg he lost in an accident. He's very hardcore, runs with a limp, shatters his prosthetic, is fine with it because this movie is barely an hour and a half and doesn't believe in giving anything depth aside from pounding it into your head that it’s the little mermaid.

We do undeniably need more representation of disability in major media, but it needs to be the right representation. This magical chosen one powers cop out is beyond harmful when characters display traits of a disability because while people won't take it entirely literally, at least when they claim you need a cure they don't act like you can do things they can't so shouldn't complain. Fiction writers apparently see disability as a character flaw, and the rule of fiction is heroes must overcome their flaws.

Feel free to correct me or add to this obviously, I just felt it needed to be said and I can’t speak for everyone.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

idk how many people would even want to see this BUT i wanna yell about Leela and Brax so here's a list of all their scenes togethr/scenes pertainng to them that i can recall (pLEASE add on if i missed anything/ you have any additional thoughts!! i could talk about these two all day!)

right off the bat in Weapon of Choice when Leela is on the outskirts of the Citadel and Brax goes to bring her back (which is interesting in and of itself, bc usually i would imagine a chancellery guard would go do that so what made Brax decide to instead??), Leela kinda goes off at him bc she's hurting and instead of trying to actually explain what's going on Brax doesn't even try to argue he just says "we need you" which is great bc Leela has that instinctive desire to be needed and to help people and he's speaking right to that -- also as far as we know, this is Leela and Brax's first actual meeting in canon? it's implied that they know of each other, which makes sense, but it doesn't seem like they've ever directly interacted before: Brax seems almost slightly uncertain, and Leela is combative, but when he's gentle with her she's actually quite receptive

the literal next scene after that, where the OT4 is all in one room for the first time (they still kinda hate each other at this point but still !!!). Narvin explaining Gryben and being a real jerk about it and Leela (understandibly!) questions if Gryben is a prison world, and Brax (who to this point has been mostly quiet as Narvin and Romana brief Leela) jumps in to both clarify Narvin's previous xenophobic statements while also maintaining the inherent questionable/negative connotations

(btw it's actually pretty important to note that Romana self-edits herself a lot when talking to Leela, especially in the earlier seasons; you can actually hear her revising the things she says to put it in terms that she thinks Leela will better understand. and i mean she does it out of genuine consideration for her friend associate but it often comes across as varying levels of patronizing. Narvin also obviously "dumbs things down" when dealing with Leela early on, but like... Brax never does that on any level. the only difference i can tell in how he addresses Leela vs how he talks to anybody else is that he seems much more kind with her than almost anyone else???)

their conversation about the Matrix in The Inquiry: this is REALLY important (and if you've ever talked to me on ao3 i've probably gone off to you about it lol) because it's layered. they're talking about the Matrix but they're also not because in answering Leela's question Brax is making a very thinly veiled allegory (which he outright states a minute later) to Time Lord society/politicians/most importantly HIMSELF -- he's actually strangely open about his morals/beliefs in this scene and i'm living for it tbh -- and i find it very interesting that even though he does directly explain what he means ("how do you know all this?" / "because i am a politician.") he also leaves it for Leela to work out the implications. like it's a very nuanced conversation bc there's double meaning in it and most people on Gallifrey seem to think that Leela is tone-deaf and can't pick up on that stuff (even Romana sometimes oversimplifies things to her) but Brax totally just lets her take from it what she will bc he believes her intelligent enough to understand. he doesn't think her any lesser because she's human.

ALSO on a secondary note to the above: the fact that Leela has a question/needed clarification (sorry, haven't listened to this in a while i forget how it actually happened) and actively sought out Brax to talk to about it?? like she knows Romana better she could have gone to her but i feel like Leela kinda imprinted on Brax and someone she can go to for help if she needs it; maybe it's partly bc she knows he's under marginally less pressure than Romana is but also the truth of the matter is that Brax was the most genuinely helpful person to her in the previous stories and that probably means a lot to her (esp. bc he acts like the essence of everything she hates about Gallifrey but he doesn't treat her the way she would expect from that). btw this topic is gonna come up again in a hot minute

that part where Brax gives her that information that might help her re: the Andred thing, even though he really probably shouldn't have done that -- it kinda makes me think about what he must have been like with Theta tbh???

actually this is mostly my own conjecture but there's some neat stuff in Spirit bc during the *waves hand vaguely* bodyswap dream sequence thing, Romana is very "!!!! Brax can help us !!!" which is tecnically Leela brain talking, so like there's the implications of the stuff i've said above about Leela having this idea of Brax where she knows he's someone she can go to for help

can u tell i'm soft for them

Leela sounding really sad/distracted when she talks about how Brax isn't there YES i'm grasping at straws but a lot of this relationship really is conveyed through the voice acting bc of how little direct focus there is on the characters. there's actually several scenes in Mindbomb where she mentions him and she outright says that she misses him during her discussion with Matthias

that implied scene with them in Mindbomb!! i have a Lot of thoughts about that!!! it's all conjecture and fanfic fodder!!! but the reason i mention this is because it seems pretty meta that out of the whole Gally Gang, it's Leela who first sees Brax when he comes back to Gallifrey and in turn she's the first person (besides Matthias, i guess) that he sees upon his return?? idk i just feel like that's somehow a meaningful detail??? also her reaction of utter shock after spending the entire episode missing him and how worked up she is when she tries to tell Romana, like I desperately need to know what happened in this missing scene MR RICHARDS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

Leela insisting on going with Brax when Pandora starts hurting him and their whole conversation there is just. so good. like they're both just so soft and then when Darkel comes in Leela instantly goes into protective mode. like they just have such an open relationship bc Brax doesn't even try to be all pretentious with her, like he doesn't even try to keep up any facades when he's with her he's just very genuine and it really says a lot about both of them -- Leela is so good at seeing people, like getting down to the core of who people are and what makes them them (which is why she's good for Romana, btw, bc Romana has a lot of identity issues) and Brax is so tangled up in who he presents himself as that he barely knows who he actually is anymore but Leela can see that and she makes it so he can truly be himself and he doesn't have to hide. also she's so gentle with him when they talk about Pandora, she's very caring and empathetic and wants to make sure he's okay and i am WEAK

it's been a hot while since i listened to Panacea but I think i remember Brax being really soft with Leela when he first brings the gang to the Axis, like just sounding really glad to see her

ok other than the fact that Brax is lowkey relatable in Reborn (daydreaming fanfic about yourself/people you know? simping for Mary Tamm Romana? yeah mood, my man) there's that scene where they're first appraoching the Citadel on the alt!Gallifrey and it seems like none of them, and Brax specifically, have seen it from the outside in a good long while bc he's very in awe and he tells Leela that he wishes she could see it and he sounds sO hEcKiNg sOFT oh my word-

and once again with Leela thinking of Brax as someone she trusts for help: in Dissassembled when everything is going to crap she straight-up says that she wants to go find Brax bc he'll know what to do/be able to help

at the beginning of Annihilation when Romana is depressed and questioning if Brax truly was her friend and Leela INSTANTLY, NO HESITATION assures her that he was; i lost where i had her exact lines written down but she actually kinda goes off to make sure Romana gets the point

literally forcing myself to talk about this bc it makes my brain stall out but like,,, the Brax Hound in Annihilation,,, Leela being like "goodbye, Braxiatel... again" she sounds so sad and like UGH i always kinda forget how sad it actually is for them to lose Brax in Dissassembled bc like, it was so sudden and they didn't get to say goodbye and Leela is always losing people and i have many many feels about this scene and how all that emotion is made very clear in how they each respond to the Hound (might make a separate post abt this later if anyone is interested ::eyes::)

Enemy Lines is utter bullcrap about these two and I will never stop being salty about how they not only sidelined the very good, very subtle friendship they had in s1-4, but they??? made Leela acutally not trust Brax??? when literally this entire time she's been the one person who probably genuinely trusts him the most?? what the heck, David

I haven't heard TW3 or 4 yet but i'm assuming there's nothing worthwhile in those with regards to this duo (correct me if i'm wrong tho lol, i would love to be mistaken in this assumption)

TL;DR Leela and Brax mututally imprinted on each other and have probably the most open and healthy relationship within the OT4 and it is an absolute CRIME that nobody besides Gary Russell and Justin Richards cared enough to actually build on it in canon