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#(the yellow lines not the patchwork)
wyrmscraft · 6 months
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Baby quilt that’s bright and cheery! Simple strip piecing and then a four patch of half square triangles in each corner.
All the piecing and the straight line quilting was done on my grandmother’s old pfaff machine. It died a pretty quick death once she got it out of storage for me to use. Even after taking in to be cleaned and serviced the motor was done.
Can you believe this was made in 2017? One of my first dozen projects once I took up quilting as a hobby.
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pebblethief · 8 months
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it's v nice being at a point where I can *use* my quilt while I work on it
is nice n cosy :)
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scealaiscoite · 3 months
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.☽༊˚ a hundred assorted prompts
¹⁾ raspberry lip gloss
²⁾ pajama bottoms
³⁾ a silver lighter
⁴⁾ fresh honey
⁵⁾ flushed cheeks
⁶⁾ a fogged-up mirror
⁷⁾ the imprint of a belt buckle on skin
⁸⁾ helium balloons
⁹⁾ a broken cocktail glass
¹⁰⁾ old playing cards
¹¹⁾ chipped green nail polish
¹²⁾ a brown leather wallet
¹³⁾ bullet holes in a wooden wall
¹⁴⁾ seashells lined up along the curve of a spine
¹⁵⁾ beaded curtains
¹⁶⁾ pomegranate seeds
¹⁷⁾ a carabiner heavy with keys
¹⁸⁾ fresh-cut orchids in a pottery vase
¹⁹⁾ vending machine cigarettes
²⁰⁾ an out of date map
²¹⁾ a creaky wooden gate
²²⁾ a minifridge stocked with budweiser and paracetamol
²³⁾ snapdragons growing between pavement slabs
²⁴⁾ smudged yellow eyeshadow
²⁵⁾ slept-in braids
²⁶⁾ library books that’ll never be returned
²⁷⁾ a pink-tiled shower
²⁸⁾ a honeybee on a linen shirtsleeve
²⁹⁾ burnt popcorn
³⁰⁾ watching an eclipse from bed
³¹⁾ a black lace bralette
³²⁾ a tattered patchwork quilt
³³⁾ blue raspberry bubblegum
³⁴⁾ a rusted fishing rod and a dried-up lake
³⁶⁾ the taste of whiskey on someone else’s lips
³⁷⁾ rose-scented candles burned down to the wick
³⁸⁾ crescent-shaped coffee stains on a wooden tabletop 
³⁹⁾ odd socks 
⁴⁰⁾ a loose thread on a jumper sleeve
⁴¹⁾ warm sheets on cold skin
⁴²⁾ amber-tinged perfume
⁴³⁾ gold jewelry 
⁴⁴⁾  a calloused palm against a soft cheek 
⁴⁵⁾ a busted headlight
⁴⁶⁾ sunrise from a jail cell
⁴⁷⁾ hand tattoos that weave around fingers
⁴⁸⁾ coconut shampoo
⁴⁹⁾ a doorbell sounding in the middle of the night
⁵⁰⁾ ladybugs crawling across a headstone
⁵¹⁾ grass stains on blue jeans
⁵²⁾ a loaded saddlebag
⁵³⁾ a dusty wine cellar
⁵⁴⁾ a bikini top draped over a bedpost
⁵⁵⁾ snow in july
⁵⁶⁾ dirt-red mountaintops
⁵⁷⁾ goosebumps in a heatwave
⁵⁸⁾ an empty dinnertable
⁵⁹⁾ a fresh manicure and bruised knuckles
⁶⁰⁾ zombie movies
⁶¹⁾ bitten lips
⁶²⁾ dark eyes full of tears
⁶³⁾ a soft cast in summertime
⁶⁴⁾ stale coffee in paper cups
⁶⁵⁾ frozen peaches on a black eye
⁶⁶⁾ acrid smoke
⁶⁷⁾ bound hands
⁶⁸⁾ animal tracks
⁶⁹⁾ unwound vhs tapes
⁷⁰⁾ cartoon plasters
⁷¹⁾ lipstick marks on shirt collars
⁷²⁾ silver bangles
⁷³⁾ sharing a coat in a downpour
⁷⁴⁾ fields with grass at waist-height
⁷⁵⁾ daisy chains up to your forearm
⁷⁶⁾ rolled-up shirtsleeves
⁷⁷⁾ the smell of bleach in a dark room
⁷⁸⁾ a shared sleeping bag
⁷⁹⁾ a new haircut
⁸⁰⁾ swimsuit tanlines
⁸¹⁾ perfume clinging to a pillow
⁸²⁾ lollipops dangling between lips
⁸³⁾ a badly-timed grin
⁸⁴⁾ old books
⁸⁵⁾ tongues stained from slushies
⁸⁶⁾ waking up in a hailstorm
⁸⁷⁾ dying sunflowers
⁸⁸⁾ colourful sunglasses
⁸⁹⁾ the last pew
⁹⁰⁾ tall, rattling windows in a storm
⁹¹⁾ six missed calls
⁹²⁾ sticks of incense burned down to the last
⁹³⁾ bunk beds
⁹⁴⁾ matching sets
⁹⁵⁾ ruined mascara
⁹⁶⁾ a boxing ring
⁹⁷⁾ stained glass windows
⁹⁸⁾ fairy forts
⁹⁹⁾ a cluttered bedside table
¹⁰⁰⁾ a hangover in the evening
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tinytennisskirt · 2 months
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Small Victories
Summary: based on a request, Stanford tennis player! reader and Art strike up a new friendship as they're both pretty lonely at Stanford. It's platonic and fun, but reader is taken out of the tennis season after a serious injury ruins her leg. Recovery is hard, but Art is there the entire way insisting you get back to tennis- and as you slowly heal, he slowly falls harder and harder. It becomes undeniable that you two belong together when you finally get back on the court and win your first game post-injury... when things left unsaid can't stay unsaid.
Warning: mentions of broken bones and blood. Mention of sex. Kissing. A little angst, and a tiny bit of miscommunication if you squint. Slowburn friends to lovers. A good amount of fluff and fun. 13k words- brace yourselves.
It was your first day at Stanford after spending your first night in your dorm room. You had some free time so you’d been spending it unboxing and putting away more of your clothes and things. You covered the ugly boring walls with simple patchwork tapestry, and carefully hung your star-shaped string lights. You set up your computer at the provided desk, moving it to the corner where it was level with the table you’d set up your microwave and kettle on. You made the bed, organized your rackets, and you would have never been this clean if you were at home, but you were a little too bored and you were racking up the nerve to go and speak to people. Meeting new people. 
It’s not like you were socially inept at all, but the anticipation was killer. Being so far away from everyone you knew, having this pressure to make friends here or being around wouldn’t be all that worthwhile. Yes, you loved tennis. Yes, you were so glad to be at Stanford. But could you enjoy it without any friends? No. When you decided your room was done, you logged onto your computer to look over the campus website to see if maybe there were any events tonight. 
You found a few as you scrolled. They had a painting class led by an instructor, not your thing. They had an acapella group info night, which could be fun, but you couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. You scrolled down to the sports section. Football team info night, lacrosse recruitment, and you saw it, perfectly dated for today at eight, a tennis mixer for all tennis students in the far corner garden on campus, just a ten-minute walk. You shut your computer off and immediately started going through your clothes.
You ended up in your favourite jeans and a light purple tank top, pairing it with some casual Converse you’d had for two years, a nice belt, some pretty earrings, and the most dainty necklace you had. You did your makeup in the mirror, getting your eyeliner right in one try which was an absolute wonder, and finished everything off with a pairing of blotted lipstick and lip balm. You looked over everything in the mirror, fixing the curl of your hair just a bit before you packed the simple things into a small bag and headed out the door. 
The garden was cute, it was a little corner boxed in with hedges, full of picnic tables and lawn chairs. You looked up and down the edges lined with pretty pink, orange, yellow, and purple flowers. The 90s music from a radio in the corner was fairly loud, but more dull than the conversation between who you assumed were your peers. A wave of excitement hit as you looked up and around these people, not exactly watching as you stepped backward, foot hitting the side of someone else’s and tripping just slightly in the same direction. Thank god you caught your balance, because without it you might have ended up on the person behind you’s lap. 
“You okay?” He asked, hands up, ready to catch if he needed. You turned, fixing yourself, trying to hide your embarrassment. This was an amazing start, you thought to yourself, chuckling nervously. His eyes were soft and genuine, and he was asking. 
“Oh, yeah, just not looking where I was walking,” You smiled. “I’m so sorry.” 
He smiled back, “No, you’re good, don’t worry about it. I sit with my feet too far out anyway.” He said, getting up out of the chair he was sitting in with his drink. You noted just how nice his voice sounded, you’d never heard anyone with his tone. “My name is Art… Donaldson.” He extended his free hand to you and you were a little surprised but glad. 
“Y/N,” You answered, unable to control the grin that came from meeting someone already, even if you nearly tripped into him. You eyed him up and down a moment. He was taller than you, thin, with blonde curls and a big smile. Bigger than one you would have gotten from anyone else you spoke to if you had ended up speaking to anyone else that night. “You’re in the tennis program?” You asked. 
“Yeah,” He grinned. “And you too, I assume.” 
“Mhm,” You nodded back. “First year. Nervous.” You admit, feeling like maybe he’d get it. And he did, no doubt. 
Art ruffled his hair, “Oh yeah. I’m on residency, so it’s not much different from my previous school, but I don’t know anyone, so it’s a little weird. I had to check the campus website for anything to do to get out and meet people.” He spoke a lot with his hands, you noted along with the fact you had done the exact same thing. He was also just speaking to speak, you noticed as you nodded along, smiling. He was nervous too. “Are you on residency?” He asked, ending his little spiel. You’d let him talk just to hear him talk, finding his voice unique and a little bit pretty. And he was nice. 
“I am, I spent the whole day organizing and decorating my room,” You chuckled, stepping aside to grab yourself a can of iced tea, and cracking it open. Art watched as you did, studying the dainty rings on your fingers, the way the one strand of hair fell in your face when you tripped and you hadn’t yet thought to move it. “Things are a lot harder to do without a staple gun.” You told him.
He sipped his own drink, “Mmm, right? Took me seven attempts to hang up my poster today with that stupid blue clay stuff.” 
“Oh, that stuff is nasty.” He liked how you crinkled your nose. “I bought this glue-brand double-sided tape. It’s a game-changer, but so sticky.” And the embarrassment from nearly tripping eased away as the conversation enhanced itself. He was sweet and funny and kind and truly seemed like he was hearing what you said. Art was truthfully just glad he found anyone to talk to after Patrick left last night and as the conversation moved over the regular small talk, he found he didn’t really want to talk to anyone else. 
The night went on and people were leaving now and then, but you and Art sat on the bench in the very corner of the corner garden unphased, just talking about your histories with tennis. Soon you knew all of his best victories and he knew yours and he also knew you liked music more than most things, tennis included, him making mental note of what songs to listen to when he went back to his dorm room. He felt a lot less alone in Patrick’s absence than he’d expected and you were so interesting. He also knew you were a big fan of iced coffee, had a lucky tennis racket, and had a love for star-shaped things. Just as you knew his best game was his doubles at the Junior US Open with his best friend who you’d heard a lot about now, just as you heard about his past at Mark Rebatello’s Tennis Academy, how his favourite thing to do in tennis is serve, and his favourite post-game meal is chicken wings. Your conversation naturally covered all the simple things and when the night truly had to come to an end, he gladly walked you back to your dorm. 
“It’s been really nice meeting you,” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck as you approached your door. Part of him knew he could probably tell you everything and anything about himself and you’d listen and that’s what he liked about you. “Glad someone spoke to me.” 
“Well, I tripped, so we’re just lucky, I suppose.”
He twisted his mouth to the side, “I guess so, but who’s to say I didn’t do it on purpose?” He questioned with a teasing smile. 
You laughed quietly, “It’s been nice meeting you too. I’ll see you around the court?” 
“Probably,” He replied, shoving his hands into his pockets as you leaned against the door. “I look forward to it.” A grin slowly crept up his face, unable to hide itself. He was not in a particular lack, but gaining you was something he wouldn’t regret and he knew it. “I’ll see you around.” 
You couldn’t help but grin right back- his smile was so wide it was hard to ignore. “Goodnight, Art.” 
“Goodnight, Y/N.” 
You saw him again the next day, more than enthused to see a familiar face around. You had your hair up in a ponytail, sporting a white skort and black tank top and he was in blue gym shorts and a sports t-shirt that was just a tad lighter than his shorts. 
“Hey you,” You smiled as you approached. He turned, more than happy to see you as well. 
“Hey,” he replied, setting his things down on the nearest bench. You beamed, doing the same. “How are you?” 
“I’m good, how are you?” You asked, hopping up and starting to stretch. He had his hands shoved in his pockets. “Co-op doubles today, you want to be my partner?” He asked. You were nodding yes before he even finished the sentence. 
It was that day that Art realized just how good you were at tennis and how distracting it was playing doubles when all he wanted to do was watch you play. It was almost hypnotizing to see you do your thing and he was honestly a little proud he’d made your acquaintance before you demolished the other team so he wouldn’t have had to look like a suck up approaching you afterward. 
You jumped and high fived him when you two won the scrimmage and Art knew he picked the perfect tennis partner for sure. As for you, he impressed you vastly past your expectations. He was amazing at serving so no wonder it was his favourite. 
“That was crazy,” Art huffed, breathing out. “That was amazing.” 
“Your serves are crazy,” you gushed, turning to him. “You’re amazing, that was amazing that serve at the end completely threw them.” 
Art shook his head, “As if you didn’t completely end the game with that last swing, that was incredible.” He gestured openly, then let his arms fall to his sides. “You want to go again?” 
Technically you were supposed to switch partners, but Art just didn’t want to take that chance. He had you as a partner and he would have to swap it out? No thanks. 
Your smile turned itself into a smirk, you had other thoughts. “Maybe after.” You said and jogged over to the boy you’d just gone up against and asked him to play with you and Art knew what you were doing. You wanted to play against him. 
It turned out to be a problem because now Art had a full view of how you played and it really was hypnotic. You obviously had a well-learned method for every swing and situation and you knew exactly what was in your section and what was in your partner’s. Art was grinning, watching you play and honestly hardly paying much attention to the fact that he himself was in the game. He missed a few balls just because he was watching your swing. You were good, you were really good, and that fact being distracting was not very useful to a scrimmage. 
When the game ended and you had a bit of a water break, you jogged over, “What was that?” You laughed. 
Art shrugged, chuckling. “You’re really good.” He took a long drink from his water bottle, knowing the reason he gave you wasn’t very detailed but it was honest. 
You and Art were partners for most co-op doubles that week, hanging out almost every day after or before. You two were fast friends- him enjoying how passionate you were when you talked and shared the things you liked and the way you went about tennis, you enjoying having a great partner for scrimmages and the things he talked about. Having a familiar face around all the time was the ease you needed to fully get yourself situated at Stanford. It was fun to have someone that you wanted to see every day who happened to want to see you just the same. You two were friends quicker than anyone you’d ever known, like something just clicked and fit into place- he was fun and a little bit wild when he wasn’t shy, and he loved music just as much as you did, it turned out, which was surprising. 
You’d sit in his car for hours just talking with music in the background. “Okay, so McDonalds fries versus Arby’s.” You said, picking through the McDonald’s fries you two bought on the way back to campus. Art put the car in park and you were leaned against the car door, sitting facing him. “Don’t say Arby’s, I’m begging you.” 
He smiled and shrugged a little sheepishly, “They’re thicker.” He reasoned. 
“Uh-huh, I see how it is,” you said, rolling your eyes at him. He hid his face in his hands. “McDonald's are so classic.” 
He raised his head, “True-“ he spoke with too many in his mouth and you smiled. “- But Arby’s are curly. Which means more.” 
“Okay so you’re settled on the fact that it’s more food,” you laughed, popping a small one in your mouth. “Here I was going off of taste.” 
“You can’t go off taste alone because quality is so important,” he said, gesturing with his hands. “McDonalds fries are good but the quality is shit.” 
“You’re right but you can ignore that-“ 
“I have to ignore that while you ignore thicket and curlier?” He laughed. “No-“ he couldn’t get through his words laughing, “We are done here.” 
“What-“ you laughed. “No, come on.” 
He gestured wide, hand on your upper arm, sliding down to rest on your forearm, “You’ve just proven you can’t debate, it’s pointless-“ he couldn’t stop laughing, and from that point on neither could you. It was contagious and spread throughout the car like the air conditioning that circulated. It was good laughter, sweet, and unending because whenever one of you tried to stop, even looking at the other would cause you both to burst out laughing again. It was a cycle that made your ribs ache, your heart beat harder in your chest and your breath impossible to catch. The laughter only ended when you were both in too much pain to continue. 
Art rubbed his eyes, leaning against the car's center console, catching his breath. He missed Patrick but not so much when you were around. He was glad he had you and that was one of the only thoughts in his head as he looked at you, catching your breath as well. Your smile was gorgeous was the afterthought but there was no afterthought to that thought itself, just that you were and it was. You moved your hair from your face and he thought again about the fry conversation and he nearly laughed again, but he tried hard not to.
The truth was Art did have thoughts like that often. You saw him every day, you were funny and talented, and Art loved how much you cared about everyone around you. How could he not, even for a moment, think more of you than what you two were? But he didn’t notice how often he had those thoughts because they were forgotten so easily, buried under something subconsciously. 
You looked back at him, the atmosphere shifting once again. Art watched you glance at the time, “I have to get to bed, I’m so sorry,” He loved how you apologized for nothing. He’d tried to correct it at first but it was just something you couldn’t help. “I have that game tomorrow, the one I’ve been talking about, are you coming?” 
“Yeah, I wouldn’t miss it,” he grinned, pulling the car back into drive to bring you closer to your residency building so you wouldn’t have to walk. “Starts at ten?” 
“I have to be there at ten, game at eleven.” You nodded. 
“Sounds good,” He nodded back, a slight smile pulling at his lip. “I’ll see you there.”
“I guess you will. Or might. I need you there in case I need to make a run for it, I’m terrified to play that Roxy girl, she’s supposed to be so hardcore.” You pressed your hands to your face. “Thank you for hanging out, for a moment I forgot just how scared I am of tomorrow.” Your smile turned to a grin and Art’s followed. He was unable to control his smile around you. 
He shook his head, “You’ll be great. You’ll kick her ass.” 
“She’s Russian,” you replied. “She’s going to do more than kick mine.” 
Art shook his head again, “No. Can’t think that way or else she will for sure. You kick hers, no other way.”
You took a deep breath, grin dulling back to a simple smile. “Thank you. I’ll need all the luck I can get though,” You opened his car door to get out. 
“Okay, well, good luck if I don’t see you before the game, leprechauns, four-leaf clovers, break a leg, etcetera.” 
You laughed and after saying goodnight, your laugh still echoed around his head. It did so until he went to sleep that night. But he didn’t think anything of it, there was no reason to. 
The game the next day really did terrify you. This girl you were up against was hardcore, you spent the morning watching her games trying to figure her out but all you got was that she stepped twice before swinging left, no matter what as well as she was an amazing player. She had long sleek blonde hair that she tied up in a braided ponytail and icy eyes that seemed to stare into your soul when you saw her tennis poster. You wondered if her eyes followed you around as you got dressed into your pink skort and lilac purple tank top combo. Looking nice on the court helped a lot with your confidence.
You tied your hair up in two French braids to keep it away from your face and tried to take deep breaths as you grabbed your things and headed over to the Stanford court. It was a busy day, apparently, as a small crowd of people were waiting to get into the benches and you walked by them and into the building where you met your coach. 
“You ready?” She asked and you really wanted to say no, the nerves getting to your stomach. The first big game of the season meant something. This is the beginning of what you were working for. Part of you was so ready for this all to begin, other casual games with small audiences were easy, but there was a Russian girl out there ready to demolish you. You took another deep breath. 
“Yeah.” And you took your things to the court and unzipped your bag that you’d packed in a haste this morning out of pure nerves and no real rush to see that somehow, in some extreme mishap, that your lucky racket wasn’t there. You turned to your coach, who knew that when you laid all your rackets out on the sidelines that you were missing the lucky one. 
And Art in the stands looked over, knowing the exact same thing. He turned to Patrick, who was visiting as of this morning, “She doesn’t have her purple racket.” He said as if Patrick knew what that meant. Art had spent the morning filling Patrick in on who you were and Patrick listened with a knowing smirk, but didn’t say anything about what he truly thought. “Patrick, she can’t play this without her lucky racket.” He urged as if it made a difference. The game was set to start in five minutes. 
“Lucky racket?” Patrick understood. When he was younger he himself had the same thing, he knew the sentiment and the effect it could have on a game. That’s why Art, knowing Patrick, knew you were the same way.
“Fuck,” Art said, looking around to see if there was a clear path out of the bleachers, but there wasn’t. He looked back at you, talking to your coach with your hand over your mouth. He got up and stepped over a few people but was stopped by an usher. 
“Game is starting in five-“ the burly man said. 
“I know, I need to get out,” he urged. 
“Sit. Down. Please.” The usher replied. 
Art shook his head, “No, you don’t understand, this is vital to the game about to be played, that’s my friend out there-“ 
“Sir, if you leave before the first half, you won’t be getting back in.” He said. And that was that. Art couldn’t even make a run for it because this usher would make sure he couldn’t get the racket back to you. 
“Fuck,” Art muttered, having to sit back next to Patrick knowing this wouldn’t be good. It put him on edge from the stands he couldn’t imagine the anxiety you were feeling if it was already bad and you didn’t have your racket. He rubbed his face, looking at Patrick, who knew exactly what you were feeling even not knowing you yet. “This is bad.” 
You had to use your practice racket. Which was fine if you were anyone else, it worked just the same, but the feeling of confidence was hard to attain. You hit the court as the announcer called out you were to serve. You took what felt like the deepest breath, filling your lungs as you faced your blindingly blonde opponent. You let the breath go slowly, trying to convince yourself that this was fine. And you served. 
The rally was good, you both had each other moving, but she was up in points within the first ten minutes. You weren’t doing badly, you were just behind. Art and Patrick were watching from the stands at how intense things were, Art worried the entire time. 
You caught up and surpassed her points around the middle, but soon enough she bounced right back surpassing you again. You were getting increasingly more scared that this was exactly what you expected from a game without the purple racket. You took a deep breath and hit the ball as hard as you could upon serve, it going awkwardly sideways and immediately out. You tried not to swear too loudly. Art and Patrick did it for you in unison, Patrick was just as invested as Art. 
When they called the halfway point, you were below her points-wise. Art couldn’t pay less attention to the way you walked off the court with your hand to your head because he was running, or trying to, through the sea of people who were going for washroom breaks and getting food from the stands outside. He tried to push through but more people kept coming and the stress of it alone had his heart beating. That was nothing on the beat of his heart as he finally pushed through and he started sprinting across the campus grounds trying to get to your residency as fast as he could. 
He didn’t think he’d ever run so fast in his life but this was the only way he knew how to help. This was how you would save your game. He ran through the residency doors and up the stairs to the second floor and grabbed your key from behind the fire alarm trigger, unlocking your door. He knew you wouldn’t mind after this- he looked around seeing the racket leaning in the corner and he grabbed it, locking your door again and jumping the stairs, sprinting back. 
It took a lot longer than he thought. He tried a shortcut that was stupidly a dead end and he checked his watch before launching back into his sprint and he had two minutes before you were back on. He was so fucked. This time he just about shoved people as he returned to the crowd. 
He could hear the game resume and people did hurry to get back to their seats which helped a little- Art was still pushing to make it back to you, to get the racket to you before the second half truly started. He knew if he just got it out there onto the court you could switch it out between serves and that would be good enough and he was nearly through the crowd, cheers in his ears, people whooping and yelling, getting into the game and all of a sudden it was a simultaneous gasp. Art was confused for about a split second before he heard the scream in the silence of a crowd that held their breath. 
Art pushed through the crowd and the sight he saw when he laid eyes on you on the ground was something reminiscent of some horror movie. The detail was too much but visible to him, from far away, was bone. And you were screaming, it was you. 
He bolted over but not before the others did, surrounding you immediately locking him out and he looked over as your tennis partner ran to the edge of the court to vomit. The crowd was mumbling but other than that it was silence versus screams and cries and it was you. Art hated that it was you. 
He couldn’t do anything, he wasn’t any help, 911 was already called and you were crying and screaming, and thank god the huddle shielded the crowd from the blood that pooled on the court. 
Art did the only thing he knew to do and that was collect your things. It didn’t matter what it looked like he was doing, he packed up your rackets and your water bottle, numbing himself to the situation so he could at least do this for you as your screams rang out in the crowd of people still seeming to hold their breaths. He couldn’t get to you if he tried. Sirens in the distance meant it was time to get the fuck out of the way and he moved over as the paramedics worked quickly to tend to you to get you on the ambulance, doing what they could to stop the bleeding. 
Art ran faster than he did to get your racket, even with your rackets on him. It was a good thing Patrick had gotten himself out of the crowd, meeting Art at the fence doors to get him to his car. He’d only known you a month or two, but you were still a person he cared a lot about and he knew your entire family was miles and miles away. You’d be alone in this and knowing you, and talking to you every day, he knew you were afraid of doctors and hated hospitals more than anything. He couldn’t let it be something you had to brave alone.  He threw your rackets in the trunk as Patrick got into the passenger seat and Art tossed him the keys to start the car before he got into the driver's seat. 
“Fuck, this is so bad,” Art said, pulling away a little faster than he should have. “This is so bad.” 
He ended up waiting ten hours at the hospital. You needed surgery to fix your leg and nobody in your family could make it over in ten hours. It would take a flight to get to you. Patrick stayed about four hours with Art, trying to keep him occupied so he didn’t lose his mind in the waiting room, but Art wasn’t very talkative, just worried. You had easily become one of his best friends. 
He ate hospital food and he slept in his chair against the wall. The nurses knew he was there for you and came to update him until one of the nurses told him to come back the next morning because by then you’d probably be stable and awake properly without the pain meds keeping you asleep. He hated that, he slept in his car.
Patrick came back the next morning, tapping on Art’s window at close to 11:30 in the morning. Art woke with a bit of a start, his hair messed up, his clothes from the days before still on. Patrick held up a bag from Art’s dorm room where he’d stay. You wouldn’t think Patrick to think of something like it, but he brought Art a change of clothes which he took gratefully and changed into in the hospital bathroom before going back up to see you. 
Patrick gladly waited in the hallway when he went in. You were awake but you were staring blankly at a wall- it didn’t seem like you even realized he had entered. You’d gotten used to not minding the nurses and doctors that came in and out. Art approached slowly out of understanding and observed how hard you crying so silently. He thought he saw a tear but as he observed, it was a steady stream.
“Hey…” he said quietly. 
You turned your head at the sound of his voice and Art swore when you met his eyes he had never seen eyes sadder than yours. It shook him a little to see pain so obvious in someone’s eyes. “Art-“ you sobbed, putting your head in your hands, unable to say anything else. He rushed forward, dropping his backpack at your bedside to give some sense of comfort. He didn’t know what to do, so he crouched next to you and his hands rested on your forearm, careful not to touch the bruising no doubt from the fall. He didn’t say anything else for a long while and neither did you, you just cried as Art crouched next to you, his hands gently grazing over your skin where they could. Soft, back and forth, just delicately. 
It was the first act anyone had ever taken to make you feel okay, truly okay. You’d been intimidated and overwhelmed by the hospital lights, the sterile metals, and sounds and processes. 
It was also the first true act of many that was something closer than what it should have been for you and Art. It was just you and him in that hospital room, empty aside from the machines, drips, a bed, and chairs, but the silence was so full that it occupied every corner that wasn’t already taken. 
You did eventually speak, but that silence was so needed. It was a conversation about what had happened and you explained it all and how it felt, but Art informed you that you were ahead of her in points before it happened. He didn’t tell you he didn’t see it happen- he didn’t tell you anything about where he’d gone at the halfway point of the game. 
Art slept in the corner chair later that night when you slept. Patrick eventually left after waiting for so long. When you needed your privacy Art got his meals from downstairs, heading back to the dorm and coming back the next morning every day for two weeks. He came by whenever he could to see you, the conversation was good and kept you distracted. You talked about everything and nothing just to pass the time in your lonely, empty room. Art brought you your iPod and a few other things from your dorm to keep you occupied when he wasn’t there.
Art was the greatest comfort until your parents finally got on a plane and flew out to see you, urging to somehow get you home but you didn’t want to go. You couldn’t anyway, and you were so glad. Your mom was surprised by the flowers you’d received from the Russian girl from the big game, who did come to visit you and was surprisingly very sweet, unlike her teeth-bared photo from her Facebook. But other than that, Art visited almost every day right after your parents did. They stayed at a nearby hotel as you were in the hospital recovering. 
Patrick stayed nearby for Art who was fine, other than a little busy most days when he went to visit. Today Patrick came in with Art. 
“Hey,” you grinned, sitting up just a bit when the two boys came in with McDonald’s. “Oh my god, you didn’t.” 
“But we did,” Art said, kicking your tray over to your bed and putting the food down on it. “Patrick’s idea actually, which I hate- but he wanted to get Arby’s and I told him no.” 
You smiled at him slyly, knowingly, but your attention turned to Patrick. “Hey! I’ve heard so much about you, this is crazy. I heard you were at the game.”
He grinned and you noted the dimple he had when he smiled. It was nice. “Yeah. Aside from the whole bone-out-the-leg thing, you were pretty good. I’ve heard a lot about you too.”
“Well, yeah,” you nodded, gesturing to your leg. You were fun, Patrick knew Art liked you but it was finally coming to be something clear in his mind as to why. You had high spirits. But both boys had no idea how hard you sobbed the moment they left. “Thank you for bringing me food, hospital soup and chicken are somehow both dry.” You said, opening the bag. 
Art looked at Patrick for some sort of approval which he got with a look Patrick exchanged. “You’re welcome,” Art spun on his heel. He looked at the way your hair fell over your face as you peeked in, how pretty it looked the way it curved inward to frame your face. The hospital had hindered your will to do your makeup but you still somehow looked just as gorgeous, if not more. His fleeting thought lingered this time as he gathered the right words to say. “So how is your leg feeling today?” 
“Fucked,” you replied, handing the boys their fries and burgers. “Hurts like hell and I’m still on the super strong stuff.” 
“Well you couldn’t tell,” Patrick said, pulling up a chair. 
“I think if I asked, they’d give me the good stuff.” You nodded. “But it makes me so tired, it’s awful.” You bit into your burger. 
Art pulled a chair closer to you and sat in it, “So all this was just for some drugs, hm?” He teased. “And attention.” 
“Oh yeah,” You agreed with a laugh between bites. Patrick chuckled and Art grinned, “All I had to do was fuck up my knee, have a surgery and a half, and ruin my tennis career.” Both boy’s smiles fell almost immediately, watching your tongue press to your cheek. The silence was loud, but you just continued eating. Art opened his mouth to speak but nothing came to mind. It could be true, you could very well never play tennis again, or with proper rehabilitation, you could be back to playing eventually. He didn’t know, he didn’t know what to say. You sighed, your voice monotone, “It’s fine. Most people who can’t play anymore start coaching. I just have to get better at teaching it.” 
“No, you can’t just say you’re going to coach, you still have so much work to do. You could get back into it when you get better,” Art said, hating how willing you were to succumb to just… teaching. “You’re only starting.” 
“True,” Patrick said, agreeing. “Would be badass if you got back on the court.” 
You twisted your mouth to the side, not finding it very easy to even speak on the topic, even if you brought it up yourself. You didn’t want to cry, not right now, you usually waited until you knew Art was down the hall so you had a minute to cry before the nurses came to check on you. “I don’t know…” 
Art looked at you with an expression that bordered on unkind- not toward you, but toward what you were saying. He’d played tennis with you- you were amazing and to not even believe that it could even get better was almost disgusting to him. You had so much potential, so much talent, “You do know.” He insisted. “There’s no way you want this to be career-ending, so don’t let it.”  
Patrick, despite the seriousness of the situation, smiled watching Art all passionate about something. It had been a while since he’d seen Art so riled up about something even if it didn’t affect him directly. Patrick smiled because he was seeing something he knew Art himself didn’t see. He leaned against his hand propped up by the arm of the chair. And you knew Art was right, but not enough to see past the cast on your leg, not enough to see past the months of rehab, not enough to see the court again. As much as you wanted it, it wasn’t in the foreseeable future, so you let it feel impossible. 
Your parents went back home a month or so in with the promise of returning, but it was getting expensive to stay, so they’d go return to their jobs. It was back to being Art and now recently, Patrick, whom you’d grown to be quite fond of. He brought out a side to Art that was not funnier, per se, but broadened his means to be. Patrick sometimes came to see you when Art had class so he wasn’t just sitting around Art’s dorm. Art would swing by after to join the card games and be told to be quiet by the nurses. It always ended up with you laughing so hard your ribs hurt more than your knee, even for a second. It was the only pain that was welcome in the hospital room. 
It was evening and you were sitting on your hospital bed, just thinking over everything. It wasn’t rare for you to cry at random periods throughout the day, it was a little too normal, if you were honest. All of this was so hard- continuing school from a hospital room because of all the risks was awful. But tomorrow you’d be seeing a physical therapist and that would decide if you were ready for rehabilitation. You wiped your eyes from the tears that fell just thinking about whether or not you’d be fit to walk on your leg again, which would determine if you could run if you could play. 
That’s when Art knocked on the door. He poked his head, looking around, but ultimately looking at you. You had the lamps that your parents had purchased for the room to be less overwhelmingly white in the top right and bottom left corners of the room, making for dim, comfortable lighting. Art swore he forgot how to greet you when his eyes met your tear-filled ones. The way your eyelashes looked when wet was almost hypnotizing, something that wiped all of the words from his vocabulary and out of sight almost completely. “Um-” He cleared his throat, “Hi,” He started, a weird pit in his throat. “You okay?” 
“Not sure,” You confessed, wiping your tears off your cheeks. He had seen you cry too many times now, it was getting a little embarrassing. “How are you?” Art smiled just a little at the fact you asked while crying. He hated to answer that question when you were upset. 
He pulled up his regular chair, but oddly it didn’t feel close enough. The feeling of it had been creeping up with every one of his visits, every time you were alone. But it got pushed aside. “I’m fine. Class was boring and tennis sucks without you, as usual.” He said, taking a seat. “The girl I’m paired with keeps hitting on me between rounds.” 
You wiped more tears away, smiling just a little though your stomach felt just a little odd at the mention, “Really?” 
“It’s bad.” He laughed, “She twirls her hair and everything.” 
“And that didn’t immediately work on you?” You fake-gasped. Art was just glad you were smiling. “You didn’t get married on the spot?” 
He chuckled, looking at his hands, “I don’t think it’s so easy. I don’t think I even know her name.” 
“You don’t know Melanie?” 
“Is that her name?” 
“No idea,” You laughed, really laughed, and it was a gorgeous sound. “In case you didn’t notice, I’m mostly bedridden and confined to this room.” 
He covered his face, rubbing his eyes, “That’s enough.” He groaned through a laugh, leaning against his hand, just looking at you. 
“I say it’s hardly anything, imagine how fun I could be if I wasn’t broken,” You huffed. “But Melanie, whatever her name is, she’s like… she’s really pretty.” You noted. ‘Melanie’ had all your opposite features, it should be noted. She was pretty just the same, but she was your opposite. 
“Mmm, not my type,” Art replied, scooting his chair just a little closer to the edge of your bed. 
“So you have a type? What, Kat Zimmerman-like?” 
Art groaned again, “I can’t believe Patrick told you that, that’s insane that you’d bring that up right now, I hate that.” He stressed the important syllables and covered his face again. You giggled, unable to keep it in. “No, not Kat Zimmerman, jesus christ.” 
“So then what’s your type?” You asked, just curious. You weren’t sure what drove you to curiosity but you didn’t question it. 
He shook his head, “I don’t think I have one. I know who I’m not into though and she’s exactly that.” Art said. Once again, to be noticed, the opposite of you was not his type. “She’s nice but we don’t talk much aside from when she compliments my playing and my hair and my arms and… all that.” 
You felt a little twinge. It was so awful to be on the inside while life went on outside, you thought to yourself. That was only half the twinge and the only half of the twinge you could understand. The other half was something close to jealousy that went completely unnoticed, but not unfelt. “She does that?” You struggled to sound genuine and that was the only thing you questioned about any of it. 
“Yeah, I hate it. What about you? You have a type?” 
You thought for a second, “I’m the same, I think. I know sports guys… jocks- are not it.” And Art nodded. Something about it felt weird to hear. He qualified as a sports guy, right? He tried to shrug it off, but he internalized it.
The night went on and you talked about things you hadn’t before and it was all romantic context. Past relationships, elementary school crushes. It was something that was needed out in the open and it made for an occupying conversation though it was a little hard to get through when there were constant little fleeting thoughts in Art’s mind that were thoughts about how jealous he was of these boys who had gotten to kiss you, touch you, and have your romantic attention. However, the thoughts were so fleeting they flew by without being read or registered, but they were there even unnoticed. You were his best friend and nothing more and that was that. 
When the doctors okayed you for rehabilitation you were so overjoyed you cried again. It was okay this time, it felt good to cry. All of these months in pain could be undone if you could just get into this and succeed. There was no guarantee it would work, there wouldn’t be at any point a guarantee and you knew that it would be a long, frustrating process, but it felt like it would be worth it. You remembered what Art told you about not wanting that career path to end and not letting this be the end of anything. This injury, in the long run, would not be able to take you from what you loved. Ever. Because you wouldn’t let it. You called to tell Art and you could hear Patrick whoop and cheer in the background. And you had your first session in your hospital room later that week and the now-wilting flowers Art and Patrick had brought you was amazing for motivation. 
Your healing journey was up and down as expected but no matter if you could finish your session or not, Art came by to tell you how great you were doing and Patrick to reassure you that you were a badass. You even let them stay for a session and the physiotherapist told them to ‘shut up’ because they were cheering for you the second you started. You just laughed. 
Patrick, for amusement, liked to sit back when you and Art were talking. He was no master, he was not a very scientific guy but your body language when engaging with each other was crazy obvious. You’d always sit super close no matter what, you leaned toward each other when you laughed, your eye contact was completely loaded with unsaid words and when you spoke it was 89% flirting. Patrick understood Art- you were gorgeous and you were strong and that itself was hot. You were funny and took jabs but you were honestly one of the most caring people Patrick had ever met. So yeah, he understood why Art liked you so much. 
You got better every day, easing onto your crutches at this point, able to somewhat move on your own. Patrick visited that day and he had his intentions. “You heard about that girl who won’t stop hitting on Art between games?” He chuckled, dealing the cards for crazy eights. He watched for your reaction. 
You pressed your tongue to your cheek, “Mmm, he mentioned.” You said, picking up your cards. “She’s still at it?” 
“Worse,” Patrick said. “Asked him out yesterday.” 
You looked up at Patrick with telling eyes and Patrick could have gone off of that alone, but he didn’t yet. He noticed your hands bending the edge of a card as you thought it over. The idea of him and that girl was something you could easily envision. He’d been her partner for over a year now and he had to know her name, they had to have been talking for her to just ask him out. Your jealousy was a fleeting thought that did burn close to the surface. “What did he say?” 
“He said he’d think about it,” Patrick said, eyeing your response to that one. It wasn’t true, Art had turned her down at least twice now. The girl was pretty, but oddly persistent.
“Hm,” You nodded, putting down three cards right off the bat. “He said she wasn’t his type.” 
Patrick shrugged, playing his card, “He’s pretty diverse I think. Me personally-” He placed a hand on his chest, “- Dark hair, dark eyes. I’m not limiting myself to it, but I think I have a type.” 
“That’s very you, I feel,” You said, narrowing your eyes at him. “Are you an ass guy too?” 
“Oh yeah,” He grinned a wide grin. You just smiled and shook your head at him. “What about you? You have a type?” He asked, trying not to make it obvious he was playing wingman here. 
You picked up a card, “I don’t think so. Maybe tall, not too much muscle but not like bone-breaking thin.” You said. “And a good amount of hair. I can’t imagine being with someone with a buzzcut. I don’t know, I don’t think much about who I could want, more of what I don’t want.” 
Patrick pretended like that body criteria wasn’t exactly Art. He smiled just a little, “And what’s that?” 
“Okay, easy. No mommy issues,” You put down another card, “No weird patchy facial hair, nobody who doesn’t know the difference between too, two, and to, and no guys in sports.” 
Patrick leaned in just a bit. “No guys in sports? You don’t date guys who play sports?” He clarified, a little bit of hope slipping out the window for his wingman act. All of everything could be wrong, could be pointless. 
You shook your head, “I say that but I mean football, mostly. Jocks. I had a bad experience with two different football players. Broke my little heart,” You chuckled. “I’ve ruled out jocks.” 
“But you’d date a guy in t-” he almost said tennis. He wouldn’t have been a good wingman to give away something like that. “You’d date a guy who plays something else?” 
“If he’s normal about it,” You nodded. “I can’t be outloved by a sport. My ex, I swear he’d fuck a football if it had a hole.” You placed down two more cards, “Last card.” 
The game finished with your win and Patrick was fairly satisfied with his work, though he intended to ask you a few more things and was cut short from his recon when Art swung in the room with a can of iced tea for you and Coca-Cola for him and Patrick. “How are you?” You asked him, taking the iced tea gratefully. 
“I’m good, you?” Art sat at the end of your bed by your feet, putting a hand on your shin (on your good leg) just casually. Patrick noticed it, but it didn’t seem to phase you. He’d seen it the other day when you rested your head on Art’s shoulder, he’d seen it when Art moved your hair over your ear as you were reading a magazine they’d brought. It was painful how obvious this was- he didn’t have to ask anything else. He almost laughed out loud as he thought about it. He made a mental note to talk to Art about it. 
He went back to the dorm early that day, leaving just you and Art. “Hm,” You hummed, pulling your hair to one side. Art snapped out of the trance he was in, hoping you hadn’t noticed that he was staring. It was something about the way you looked in purple, it was like it made your skin glow. That and your eyelashes as they fluttered when you looked around the room, that and the way your lower lip rested between your teeth as you checked over your textbook quickly making sure you were done with your schoolwork for the day. Art blinked all the thoughts away, but they clung on to your square-necklined purple t-shirt. Something about the way you looked in purple. 
Art rubbed the back of his neck, taking his eyes off of you, but looking back a moment later. Your lip between your teeth had his full attention, his own lips parting just a little at the sight. And then there was your hair draping over your face now and Art wanted so badly to move it like he had before. At this thought, as it crossed his mind it stopped dead centre in his brain. Like a shift, but a shift from his own burying and blatant ignorance of any feelings to being completely in the know. You were here, and you were perfect and you weren’t even doing anything, and Art knew he liked you as more than a friend at that very moment. 
But that was the issue. He was supposed to be your friend. 
And that troubled him the next week or so. He was fine seeing you, being one of your close friends wasn’t an act, it was true to him with the addition that maybe he liked you but he always told himself ‘just a little bit’, he liked you a little. If it was full blown then it would be a crisis and the truth was that it was absolutely and completely full blown and there was nothing he could say to himself that would change that. He thought about you when he wasn’t with you, when he woke up, and when he went to bed. He thought about you when he saw something you liked, he thought about you in every spare moment he could get. It was so bad he couldn’t even tell Patrick- as if Patrick didn’t know and constantly teased him about it. 
You were getting better and better and it was a surprising recovery, doctors said. Your mobility was far ahead of schedule and set to stay that way. Any setbacks from this point would be minor and you were making progress almost miraculously. And you were so glad to hear it every time they’d say it. Your parents came back around the day you took a real step alone and you wouldn’t forget your mom’s shriek of complete happiness. Your knee would work again. 
Just Art brought you flowers that day, not him and Patrick. 
But things stayed the same. You could leave and come back in for therapy and you were more than glad to be out of the hospital, though you’d gotten a bit used to it. Everything was falling into place, Art was there pretty much every step -literal and physical- of the way. He was amazing support and made things feel so much easier. When Patrick came around it was fun to have two people who’d add into the motivation. You got better and better and soon enough you swore you could walk just fine aside from your slight limp. That day you walked across the room when Art turned his back, he was surprised, to say the least.
When you could go out with a wheelchair and crutch the boys took you to the court. It was your first time on it since the incident. Your eyes fell on the spot where it happened. Patrick followed your eyes, grimacing just a bit. You’d forgotten Art didn’t see it- you still had no idea where he’d gone at the halfway point of the game. “I can almost feel it,” You said, a look of disgust on your face. “I think the gasp from the crowd was the worst part.” 
“It was loud,” Patrick said.
Art looked at where they were looking. “But you almost have full use of your knee again. Who knows, you could be back out here in a few months.” He shrugged. You turned on your crutch, away from the spot, and looked at Art. “Okay, don’t give me that look, you know you just need to try.” 
“I know,” You nodded slowly. “I just don’t know to what extent. I don’t think I could follow through with Stanford.” 
“Why not?” 
“It’s so top-notch,” You answered. Patrick kicked around on the court, grabbing one of Art’s balls and rackets and dribbling it around. “The people here are here for a reason and it’s to go pro.” 
Art stepped closer to you, “But you don’t think that’s you?” 
“Not anymore,” You replied, meeting his eyes. “Recovery is amazing but the risk is so high… I’m not even sure I can run yet, let alone sprint and lean side to side on this leg. I want to, I wanted to, but going pro after something like this just doesn’t happen. If I can play again at all, it won’t be good.” You explained. Art nodded through, listening with eyes that held sympathy and a little speck of sadness. “It’s okay, I just… It’s going to take me forever to get over it.” 
He shook his head, “You still don’t need to get over it yet. There’s still so much t-”
“I know. I just can’t see it ever happening.” You said. Art pressed his lips into a straight line and he spun on his heel. Comfort wasn’t what you needed- it was a racket. Art lunged and snatched up the one Patrick was toying with and handed it to you. “What?” 
Patrick caught on quickly. “Hit the ball.” Art said. “In any form.” 
“Art…” You shook your head. 
Patrick threw it anyway and even with the crutch, you instinctively stuck out your racket the way you knew how and hit the ball back to him, your aim still on point. “That was good! What the fuck,” Patrick chuckled. Even he couldn’t hit the ball with that much precision. Art laughed, clapping once- and you had your mouth a little open at the tennis reflexes that hadn’t gone anywhere after all this time. You looked at both of them in minor shock and awe and Art just smiled. He wouldn’t let you give up. He couldn’t. You spent the rest of the evening hitting balls where you stood, feeling a lot better about things. 
Recovery continued, but so did tennis. In your spare time you were on the court, practicing your serves, hitting the ball, everything to do with arms and eventually when the therapist had you on the treadmill walking, jogging, he cleared you to do it with supervision. That was one of the biggest things you’d heard in a while. Art was out in the hall when you’d heard it and you left the doctor mid-sentence just to go tell him, Art surprised at the speed which you approached him at, being used to you only ever walking. “I can jog!” You said, enthusiasm and passion in your eyes and the familiar fire he knew from when you would play tennis with him. 
Your soft hands grabbed his forearms in excitement and Art was a little bit more than aware of it, but the news was amazing. “That’s amazing, that’s crazy, you can jog?” 
“I can jog!” You squealed a little as your mom who was in the room with you swung her head into the hallway. 
“When he said could he didn’t mean away from him, Y/N, get back in here please!” She called, but she wasn’t pulling the full mom card, she was smiling ear to ear just as you were. “And hi Art.” She said, waving to him. Being your main visitors meant they were acquainted. Art went to coffee with your parents while you were in therapy the week prior, he wondered if they had mentioned it. He hadn’t. Art just waved back. 
Soon it was you, Patrick, and Art on the court and your crutches were propped against the bench. You were still a little slow but you’d gotten good at playing where you stood, relying on reach alone and it was quite impressive. You worked on side-stepping instead of lunging and leaning and it helped a lot with having to move around when you needed. It was a lot of laughter but also took a lot of practice and focus to get right. Sometimes you could go for a while, other times not so long, but the rehab had done wonders. This time when you said you were done, Art served the ball and you did lunge for it- both boys afraid, cringing as they watched you rush and lean forward in what seemed like slow motion. But you hit the ball and it flew right at Patrick’s chest and came back into standing position like it was nothing. 
“Oh my god,” You gasped. “I’m so sorry.” Patrick put a hand to his chest but both boys looked at you in wonderment, eyes wide, mouths a little open. To tell the truth they both thought you were done for again as you lunged but you were fine, no complaints, no second thoughts- but a second gasp. You realized the move you’d pulled and the second you realized, both boys started blurting out praise and pride and disbelief and you joined in on it. That was tennis. You’d done everything a tennis player needed to do and it was completed with the simplest lunge. Small victories every day. 
Art was more than proud. Seeing you back on the court was amazing. He’d take you there alone most days when Patrick didn’t feel like it. This particular day you were both a bit disracted, but the reason why was something you both couldn’t place. Art gave up before you today and you both stood by the edge of the bleachers against the metal bar.
You took a sip of your water, “Are we going back out or are we done?” You asked. Art set down his bottle just past you, reaching around. He looked at you and for the moment he had nothing else in his mind but you. Not tennis, not anything, you. 
“You’re incredible, you know that?” He said. You smiled immediately, leaning more against the bar next to you. But it just so happened to be closer to him. And you didn’t mind it, it wasn’t anything new but it was definitely close. Very close. You were close and you were smiling at what he said. He blinked a few times, observing your eyelashes, “Your recovery… I mean. It’s a miracle you’re back here.”
You nodded, that perfect smile on your face. You knew how close you were to him, but you didn’t think much of it. You were more focused on his words. Art was always sweet, you enjoyed that about him. “I’d probably be sitting somewhere with a book on how to coach tennis if you didn’t push me this far. You, you are incredible. I am just grateful.” 
He laughed, “Me? I might have pushed but you snapped the bone in your leg but you’re out here on the court again because you’ve been at it everyday.” He said, sincerity coating every one of his words. “It’s all you.” 
“It’s not all me-”
“With help and support, yes. But if you didn’t want to be here, you wouldn’t be. You want this, getting here to this point was all you.” He swayed just a little closer, not even on his own account just because being close felt right. He wanted you to feel that it was the truth. You looked up at him and he could see his words meant something as your eyes reflected him in the golden light of the early evening. He’d never seen just how gorgeous your eyes are in this light… And you were thinking the very same thing as your lower lip found itself between your teeth.
You and Art shared a thought before stepping back and it was the reminder that you were best friends. Just friends. Good friends. And nothing more. It was the first time it had crossed your mind, but the hundredth time on Art’s. Neither of you would risk it. 
The practice continued carefully. You had rest days. You’d been lunging on both legs at this point and your game was coming back around. You were off at a meeting with the Stanford tennis coach about returning properly in the fall, having the meeting so that you could make some exceptions. Art and Patrick sat in his dorm room, Art upside down on his bed, feet up on the wall, and Patrick in Art’s computer chair, spinning. The conversation had been about what to have for lunch when Patrick sparked something else up. “Are we meeting Y/N after her meeting?” He asked. 
Art tilted his head back, “Not sure. I could call her when it’s over if you want. Why?” 
“What do you mean why?” Patrick said, throwing the hacky sack he was fiddling with at Art’s head, hitting him in the face and chuckling. Art sat up, whipping the bean bag right back at him. “Oh come on-” He groaned. “I know you want to see her.” 
“I saw her earlier,” Art deflected, recognizing Patrick’s tone. 
“Yeah and?” 
“So you want to see her?” 
“Sure.” Patrick shrugged. Art shrugged back, pulling on a sweater, whenever Patrick was over, he turned the AC in the room way up. Wasn’t relevant, but the silence while Art was putting on his sweater was near unbearable. Art had the sweater half over his head when Patrick stuck his leg out and kicked him over. “I know you like her!” 
“Huh?” Art said, sitting up and fixing the sweater. Patrick pushed him right back over. 
“You like her! Y/N!” He said. He couldn’t take it anymore, the obviousness, how clear it was that you two liked each other. It was getting to be sickening. “I know you, I know you like her and you can’t tell me you don’t because I’ve waited this long for you to-” he shoved Art over again when Art came back up laughing- Patrick couldn’t help but laugh too, “-tell me!” 
There was no purpose in a lie. “Yeah, I guess so,” Art admit, bracing himself to be shoved again and instead, punching Patrick right in the stomach as revenge. Patrick sat back in his chair in pain. “But Patrick, she’s my best friend. And your friend. It’s tricky.” 
“I don’t think it’s that tricky, I mean, she likes you too and it’s obvious,” Patrick said through his stomach pain. 
Art laughed again, “She does not. I’m not her type. We’re just friends.” 
“You are entirely her type, her criteria is tall and normal build and that’s exactly you!” He gestured widely to Art. 
“She did not say that to me when I asked. She told me she doesn’t date guys in sports.” 
“She has two football exes, of course she doesn’t date jocks.” 
“She said sports.” 
“She meant jocks.” Patrick straightened out. “She likes you, Art. She pretty much admit it to me, you can’t tell me otherwise.” 
Art just blinked. Patrick wasn’t right- there was no way. He’d had it in his head that he wasn’t even thought of when it came to anything like that with you. But Patrick was usually right, no matter how much Art hated it. “No, she’s-” he groaned, putting his head in his hands and bending to put his head between his knees. “She’s one of my best friends this would fuck everything up.” 
Patrick shook his head, “It would be fine, you-”
Art groaned again, “And I tell her I like her and then what?” He brought his head up again. “She thinks I’ve just been here to fuck her? To get on her good side, to be with her through this just to get to her? I only started liking her, really liking her after the incident but I have no way to prove that! What would she think if all of a sudden I tell her and she actually doesn’t feel the way I do? This is so bad, Patrick.” 
Patrick just laughed at him, but Art was now able to think about these things aloud. So he was loud. “I promise you she likes you. She’s flirting with you all the time, she’s touchy, she cares a lot about you- more than me, I can attest. She wants you. And as for the injury part- Art, it’s been over a fucking year. She’s not going to think you’re playing the long game.” Art just sighed, but Patrick shoved him over again. “Don’t be a pussy!” 
“I’m not a-” he rolled his eyes and shoved Patrick right back, “-pussy. I just- she’s gorgeous and she’s friendly and she’s kind and caring and amazing and I don’t want to risk losing that just because I have some fucking ninth grade crush on her, you know?” 
He nodded back, “But it’s not. I’ve seen you with your ninth grade crush and you were a lot more horny about it. You like her. She likes you. I don’t care if you tell her now, but I don’t want you thinking she doesn’t want you too. She does, it’s painfully obvious. And I’ll admit she’s hot as fuck, so I’d hate to see you miss the opportunity!” Patrick explained, hands wildly gesturing. “Plus the tension is fucking awful to be around, I don’t know how you do it.” 
Neither did he. With it out in the air Art might have gushed a bit about you. Patrick had never seen him this way- he had so much to say about you and he ended up not calling you, just talking about you for what felt like forever to Patrick. But he didn’t mind. 
You continued to get better and better and it was amazing. You felt amazing about your progress. You got up in the morning and your knee only hurt if you hit it off something. And that was normal for most people, so you took pride in it. You hurried over to Art’s dorm in a tank top and shorts, your hair in two braids. It was early morning, you knew that, but you knocked on the door anyway. Art, woken, opened the door and squinted in the light from the hall. He was gorgeous, you thought. His hair wild and messy from bed and his shirt hiked up a little too high from sleep, leaving his waist and mid-line exposed. “Hey.” He said, opening the door for you to come in, fixing his shirt. 
“Hi,” you said, trying not to grin too wide. You couldn’t wait, you couldn’t. “I got cleared for a real game!” You squealed and you covered your mouth. You’d only found out late last night so you decided to wait until morning, but it really couldn’t wait. Art took a deep breath in but before he could say anything you were talking again. “It’s a small game. It’s local, it’s a tiny game but it’s a real one and it’s singles. I thought you’d want to know!”
“I- I do want to know, that’s amazing, oh my god!” He was almost as excited as you without the squealing and bouncing around. You were cute when you were excited. “A game is a game, it’s incredible, it’s- you- I-” He stopped himself. The excitement nearly got the best of him. But you were grinning ear to ear over tennis and that was all he cared about. “When is the game?” 
“It’s next Sunday,” You giggled. “You’ll come?” 
“Is that a question?” 
“Well, yeah,” You said, your hands on his forearms like they usually were when you were passionate. Almost like you were scared the passion would sweep you away if you didn’t hold onto something. He loved it. 
“No, I’ll be there. And on the sidelines if you let me.” 
“You’re absolutely not sitting in the stands again.” You said, chuckling. He grinned. 
And when the day of the game rolled around, your mother braided your hair in two french braids for you. She had ironed your entire outfit, even your socks. It was her nerves. But the most nervous one in the room at all times was you. You couldn’t eat, you had a hard time falling asleep, but you got up in the morning refreshed and heart pounding at the impending game. It meant a lot of action but you’d worked for this. It was a small local game at a local court with a few bleachers. It was hardly anything, you reminded yourself. This was your second chance just beginning. You slipped on your dark purple skort and your purple tank top and you made sure you had your lucky racket this time. 
Your mom drove you to the court much earlier than needed because you were so on edge and you sat in the hall between changerooms under the bleachers, just doing your breathing to maintain yourself. You were more than glad when Patrick and Art showed up. They didn’t ask if you were ready, they knew it. They just asked where you wanted to go for lunch after the game and debated over if a hot dog counted as a sandwich until your Stanford coach walked in. 
“You’re ready?” She asked, grin on her face. You blinked. 
“What are you…” This was a local game, not Stanford. You looked at Art and Patrick who were bad at hiding their smiles. 
Your coach nodded, “You’ve got this one.” She said. “Now hop to it, they’re waiting.” You looked back at Art and Patrick and they ushered you toward the door. It sounded a bit like a badly-engineered fan at first, going down the hall. Your stomach was already in knots. 
They came completely undone as your coach opened the door and the roar of the crowd was near-deafening. You blinked in the daylight, half-shocked by how loud it was before you realized that it was the sound of people. And as your eyes adjusted, you realized that the tennis court bleachers were absolutely packed full of people and they were loud, cheering. It was a local game, you expected families of the players but no, there must have been hundreds of people in the stands. On the side with no stands there were people lining the fences and you could see people beyond people. You turned, taking it all in as they were calling your name, calling your praise. You covered your mouth seeing your peers from Stanford in the front row, including the girl who had been hitting on Art. You recognized all of them and more. 
You looked at Art and Patrick who were behind you, unable to control their grins at this point and elbowing each other just a bit. Art was only looking at you. You felt so overwhelmed with gratitude, it rose in your stomach like the drop of a rollercoaster. “How did this- How- there’s so many,” You managed to say. 
Patrick beamed, dimples on display, “They’re here for you, if you couldn’t tell.” 
Art tugged one of your braids. “Patrick and I might have… posted about it on facebook. But it wasn’t an invite, just the general information of what had happened and that this was your first real game, so technically it was all you.” He smirked, but it couldn’t stay a smirk, just a really big smile. It matched yours. 
“It was not me,” You sighed exasperated, but more than happy. Scared. But happy. 
“If you didn’t want to be here, you wouldn’t be,” He repeated to you. His thumb grazed your cheek when he let go of your braid. You wanted to hug him, you wanted to jump for joy and scream your head off at how amazing this all was. But you got called to serve. 
The screams didn’t die down for any part of the game. You served and the game began and the girl across from you did not feel bad for you and that was clear. She was harsh and hardcore and violent with her swings but you hit almost all of them right back at her at a force and accuracy she couldn’t handle. Art and Patrick on the sidelines were into the game, cheering, calling out remarks on your moves. The moves they’d helped you get back. You were more than grateful with every point you scored. The crowd cheered for both you and your opponent but it was your name you heard screamed out in the crowd. 
It got a bit intense at times, you fell behind for a while but came back, then went back down again, then came back up. The halfway point you spent thanking your best friends profusely while they urged you to rest and have water. You got back on the court after that, swinging, hitting, forehand, backhand, pulling a few moves that required the use of the leg you’d broken and though the crowd held their breath, they were more than impressed. Patrick watched Art stop cheering and clapping for a second, noting the way he was so honed in on you, Patrick was sure a bomb could go off behind Art and he wouldn’t notice. Art was proud, that was what he felt. Proud to know you, proud to be your friend, proud to feel the way he did about you because he knew that you were amazing and resilient and so fucking strong. He had never met anyone like you. 
You locked eyes with him before your opponent served and he swore he felt something shift, really shift. When this game ended he had to tell you how he felt. He couldn’t go without it, he had to tell you. 
The last quarter got increasingly more intense. You fell once at a move that required the leg you’d broken. The crowd gasped and Art lunged to help you up but you did it yourself. And you got right back up. The fall hurt, but no more than it would have a regular person. That was something that drove your confidence way up. You couldn’t even hear the score anymore. You just knew that you were there and you were playing and you couldn’t have been happier, even if you lost. But the buzzer went off and the game was done and it was almost like you went deaf. The cheers stopped, though they really didn’t, in fact they roared louder than ever before and the crowd launched itself into standing, their hands over their heads, mouths open wide absolutely wild. 
You knew you’d won. But it wasn’t that important. You had one thought- find Art. 
And he wasn’t hard to find. He was there on the sidelines or rather one of the many people who surrounded you when you won. Your other friends, your parents, your coach, Patrick, the staff of the game, and apparently a few nurses who came to see their patient play. But it was Art you reached for. You grabbed his forearms, bracing yourself, your eyebrows furrowing, “I won?” You questioned over the noise, over the hands that congratulated you. 
 Art, biggest grin on his face, “You won.” He answered. And he didn’t have a second to himself before you reached up, cupping his face and kissing him hard. There was nothing else to do in the presence of the win but kiss him. And he kissed you back just as hard. It felt like all the noise and all of the world was sucked away for a moment when his hands fell on your waist, pulling you closer. 
It was a small game with big victories. 
The kiss only lasted a few seconds but it was strong, and the feeling of him lingered on your lips when you parted. Nobody was surprised that you kissed. Not your mom, not the nurses, they’d known. You looked at Art and tried not to smile but it was over the second he grinned. You couldn’t help but grin right back as Patrick came in for a crushing hug. 
“That was fucking incredible!” He told you. Your cheeks began to hurt from smiling as you hugged everyone over your win. Thing eventually died down after a while, people happily funnelling out, congratulating you. But at the end of things it was just you and Art. Patrick had headed out to bring the car around. 
You twisted your mouth to the side, “I can’t believe how many people turned up.” You sighed, content. 
“You have that pull.” Art shrugged. “You are probably my biggest tennis inspiration now.”
“Mhm? You want to be me when you grow up?” You teased, stepping closer. Art smirked, but once again he couldn’t maintain it, he just smiled down at you. “I’m your biggest inspiration…”
He wasn’t afraid to put his arms around your waist. “Maybe, maybe not. But you are amazing. And so fucking good at tennis, I’m scared for your real comeback.” He said. You laughed and it was gorgeous. The front part of your braid fell out and around your face. “You’re going to kick my ass.” 
Your smile was brighter than the mid-day sun. “You bet.” 
Your heart fluttered when he tucked your hair behind your ear again. You both heard the car horn as Patrick beeped from outside the court. “Can I kiss you?” Art asked, pushing your hair behind your ear. You nodded. And this time it was his hand on your jaw, his lips pressing against yours with all of his feeling. It was a kiss untouched by the rush of adrenaline and it was sweet. And it was slow. His lips grazing over yours between kisses, his breath minty from the gum he had just spit out two minutes ago. He held you close and the kiss was full of words yet to be said. You both couldn’t ignore anything anymore. It had been a long time coming. Patrick honked again, but it took you another second before you both pulled away with small smiles. Your hands gently holding his forearms, bracing yourself. 
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yuesgirlfriend · 1 year
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of birds and honey
part 1
(simon "ghost" riley x reader) medieval AU
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summary: the year is 1312, and your fathers knight follows you to the wood.
The great hills surrounding the castle are a patchwork of green and yellows, as they always are during the summer months. Gray skies up ahead do nothing to dampen the mood of the castle; everyone is bustling about, preparing for the feast marking the new battalions arrival, as if their presence signifies something happier than impending war. 
She can see them, now, where she is perched atop the highest wall-practiced, without fear- in a way her old governesses would have certainly called unbecoming of a lady. But did not the bible speak of the virtues of a young lady- justice, fortitude, among them?
(It takes great fortitude to learn the secrets she has learned, to climb over steep walls like they were bales of hay, to listen to words she would have heard anyway, had she been born a man. Listening from the eaves and skulking about is an act of justice, not a sin.) 
The men, traversing down the trail, look like ants, she thinks- where she sits high above them, balancing on the stone, they look like children's toys. Tiny wooden figures, a small boy's idea of heroes, lined up on the yellow-green patchwork quilt. 
When they finally ride over the moat and into the stronghold, they look like any other collection knights she has seen- some cloaked, some helmetless, all shining in the half clouded, setting sun. 
That night is boisterous and rowdy, like any other feast. The courtyard is crowded with people- servants, villagers, everyone coming together to eat and drink and be merry. The tables are laden with the finest of foods. The smell of roast goose and heron, wine, and vomit hangs in the night air with the shouts and bawdy songs. The new knights drink and eat and throw things, singing their songs with everyone else.  The castle hums with life, every voice and every soul another cell in one great organism. 
(The whole time, she sits quietly as a lady should, but listens as a lady shouldn’t. No one notices, and why would they notice the Lord’s waif of a girl, silently eating at his right hand? The servants, the townspeople, even her father speak of her when they think she isn’t listening- she is, to them, as unnaturally quiet as a changeling and as likely to smile as a mourner. Such a shame, my lord, that  her birth took your wife, god rest her soul. And for the child to not even be a boy…)
The stories that feast are rambling and, wine drunk, but the message is clear- they are hired soldiers with no Christian names, under orders from the king to protect the stronghold that is her home.
But one stands out. The only one still wearing his painted  helmet, and as such doesn’t eat or drink with his companions. Instead, he sits on her fathers left side, speaking in low and gruff tones only when spoken to. 
She picks at her food as her ears pick up words like more men and allies and a thousand dead, all spoken in an accent she thinks more suited to a farmer than a soldier.
As the feast begins to die down, dancers lying about drunk, he walks with her Lord father, presumably to show him a weak point in the castle walls.
She follows along, unseen, silent footsteps trailing behind them in the shadows. The knight with the painted helmet is tall and broad when he waves a hand at a wall that, upon closer inspection, does seem weaker than the rest. A chink in the castle’s armor, he says. 
The fire dies out, people lay around in drunken heaps, and rats are scurrying for food in corners of the room by the time she retires for the night. Her maid is nowhere to be found- based on the way the Scotsman and her were wrapped around eachother earlier, it is likely best not to go looking for her- so she wanders alone to her quarters, a candle in one hand and a half eaten honey cake in the other. 
The halls are dimly lit labrynths, and every footstep she takes makes a wet scuff along the perpetually damp straw covering the chilled stone floors. She does not believe in sneaking about when not needed, and enjoys a reprieve from constant surveillance as she licks honey carelessly from her fingers, focusing more on the sweetness of the honey cake than her surroundings.
And just as she turns the corner to the starcase, a hand shoots out from a shadow  and grabs her arm. 
Her gasp is muffled by a large hand, gloved. His other hand plucks the candle from her grasp, rests it on the narrow windowsill behind him. She scrapes and thrashes at the silver of his forearm, scrambling to reach for the knife at his side before he speaks. 
“Pray, be silent, Lady- I know you are able.”
In response, she bites down on the gloved hand, hard. The man hisses but doesn’t let go, only roughly spins her to face him; and this is when she realizes it is the helmeted knight, eyes and armor shiny in the candlelight. 
She shoves at his arms, and he concedes, letting her retreat three steps up the stairs before he takes her by the hand again. 
“Release me, sir, or you will not enjoy the consequences,” She hisses. Something furious inside her is growing like a wildfire. 
“I meant no offense, but only to warn you, fair lady,” he says, seemingly contrite, but with mirth in his voice. Is he smiling, behind that hideous helmet? 
“Warn me?” She rips her hand from his. “Of what? Churlish knights, skulking behind corners?” She turns to go. 
“You are one to scold on skulking behind corners, Lady. ” Her feet freeze where they are on the steps. 
 “Yes.” His voice is rough. “You are not as invisible as you may think- not to those trained to see, Lady.  You should exercise more caution, when listenin’ from rafters and castle walls like a little bird.” He tilts his head, eyes trained on her, like a cat looking at a tree it’d like to climb. Or a bird it’d like to claw.
“I have been told you have a lovely mind. It would be a waste to see it dashed on a tower’s stony base.” 
For the first time in ages, she forces her eyes to meet anothers. His are dark, redless, with what looks like coal smudged on his eyelids and undereyes. His eyes never falter from her stare, as would be proper. His pale lashes don’t so much as flutter. 
She turns and continues walking upstairs- but before she rounds the corner, she looks behind and down to where he stands, at the base of the stairs, licking remnants of honey off his glove. 
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moondirti · 2 years
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bluebird
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gif by @a7estrellas
pairing: Joel Miller x f!Reader word count: 2k summary: the gaps in a grim reality warnings: mentions of morning spice and unprotected p-in-v, canon typical violence, mentions of gore, death and general unpleasantness, but it's mostly fluff notes: i had to air myself of the thirst before i could focus on a better developed fic for him. so sorry y'all, this lacks my usual substance. also, i did very minimal revision on this so sorry for any mistakes
Golden light broaches over the horizon; a deluge through dusty faux wood blinds, dawn spilling onto patchwork sheets. You feel it more so than you see – while your eyes remain closed, content, your skin bathes in the cresting warmth. Your hand smooths along the hairy forearm that wraps around your waist. His breath tickles your ear.  
Things feel okay.
You know that they are not. 
But the recognition flutters like a mote in your cotton-stuffed mind, lazy on its journey to your wavering consciousness. Half of it is ornery – an almost bloody battle against the grim reality that threatens to seep up into rotting floorboards. The other, softer bit, sings in poetic eulogies you’ve long forgotten, the romantics printed upon yellowed pages. You think you remember what they feel like, those books, rough and comforting underneath your wandering touch. You think you remember–
(Or, the sensation is mirrored onto the gruff man beside you.) 
Either way, mornings tend to follow the same rhythm.
This; suspended animation on the verge of wakefulness. The rheum lining your lashes, and the punch of yesterday’s scotch whisky, dry on your tongue. Your head pounds like it does when you bleed out; festering, oozing like mud-soaked fungi. You sink into the knowledge that, despite it, you’re okay. 
Him; steady, solid brawn slotted into your back. A beating heart – one you care for like your own – and muscles that tighten and curl around your frame. Sinew, tissue you’re familiar with on levels of lesions and starving attempts at survival, but are slowly growing to rediscover now. Here. The rough pads of his fingertips graze the waistband of your jeans. Instinctively, perhaps. Your mouth twitches with tired amusement.
Beyond; just outside the door, on the other side of the window–
No.
You centre in again on the beat of a bluebird’s wing. The gentle drumming that means nothing. Oblivious, quiet bliss.
(But the bustle of the world has already started edging along the tune. Bleary FEDRA announcements grow louder by the minute. It had been raining, the water perhaps cleaner than it had been pre-outbreak, though it certainly does not look that way. Crud stains glass panes. It’s the first thing you notice as your eyes peel open.)
Then–
“Had a dream about you.” 
His voice. Hoarse, kindling logs on a bonfire; the rough whisper slices through the tranquillity. Your hips jolt, rearing into the source’s groyne. 
“Christ–” 
“Don’ tell me I scared you.” Joel huffs. “Assumed you were tougher than that.” 
“I thought you were asleep.” You sniff, your retort missing the venom you wish for it, moulding to form an affectionate hum as you twist your head to face him. His nose presses into your neck before you get the chance. 
“I was.” The confession is muffled, vibrating along the column of your throat. When you don’t respond, he takes to nipping the sensitive skin there, pinching your sweet spot between his lips until you squirm in place. His tree-trunk arms keep you from going anywhere, resolute – smelted tungsten. 
(Those same ones, fit between your legs yesterday. Thick digits pistoning into the velvet walls of your cunt, feeding the hot coals that crackle in your core. You could have risen enough to melt him.
Fuck– you can’t– Oh my god, Joel– 
Jus’ hold on and take it. That’s it… Atta’ girl.
You’d cum in some random alleyway, splayed open on dirty brick.)
“Mmm.” Biting your cheek at the feverish memory, you turn to mocking him. “Don’t tell me I scared you awake.” 
“You?” As if to punctuate, he kneads the flesh of your hip. His grip verges on bruising as he does, seeking capillaries and bursting them, imposing himself upon more gruesome marks. Your gut lurches with brimming desire. “You make me feel a lotta things, darlin’. Fear ain’t one of them.” 
“Oh, that’s priceless.” To steady yourself, you grasp his wrist, right above his watch, nudging the strap with your pinky. His bemusement rolls off him in lapping waves. “Had a good dream for once, then?” 
He doesn’t grace you with an acknowledgement. Instead, his hands trail down to your hips, anchoring you down. Before you process it, your mouth cracks open to deliver another piercing jab. 
Joel then grinds into the plush of your ass. 
And it promptly snaps shut. 
You lose your breath just as quick, the air pitching in a thin gasp, clawing desperately as though it’d been forcibly uprooted from your lungs. It hurts; it hurts because he’s hard, carved from rock, and it manages to batter the tenderest part of you. 
Jesus, he’s still clothed, and yet–
“Better than good.” He husks. 
You take a moment to digest it. Everything races faster than you can keep up with in this sleep-logged state; his beard – abrasive on your shoulder, chafing you there. Your underwear – drenched and still seeking more, aiding the slide of your thighs as you try to give it just that. You drink the timbre in his tone, that southern twinge that smoulders along the edge of every syllable. You blink with the slow roll of his hard-on, the length of it driving in between your cheeks. 
It is against your will that bleak truths start to filter in too, trickling in through the slipshod cracks. They’ve grown teeth that are harder to shake, latched onto your shoulder, their putrid slobber priming the area for poison. 
Your job, the virus, the grey world that taints everything in its colour. 
Your nails press into the flesh of Joel’s wrist. 
(No, don’t go. Please don’t leave me, not like this.
You’re used to loss. Doesn’t mean it hurts any less.)
You swim through the grief for your dawn’s promise, navigating through the molasses turned tar, then leverage your grip to flip and straddle his legs. The dizzying capsize knocks you off kilter, dousing you in a welcome numbness.
(The burden oscillates, like a rock skipping water.) 
“Hi,” You simper once you’ve regained your wits.
“Hm.” He squints. His brows furrow, forehead wrinkling with the motion. Already, he senses what you’re about to lay on him.
“Donovan’s expecting his shipment by tonight. We need to head out sometime in the next hour for it to reach him by then.” 
And while he might’ve expected it, his chin tips up with a drawn out inhale, the thumbs that rub your waist faltering. You’re glad his eyes are shut, if only for the fact that he doesn’t witness the frown that weighs your cheeks. 
“Never a moment’s peace.” It’s spoken with a lilting tease. The stone that lodges in your throat nods contrary to the levity, though. You know that he’s right. 
“No,” You agree, tracing the seams of his pants. There’s still the glaring evidence to your circumstance, thick and strained against the tightening denim. Verity aches like an open sore, borderline septic within the gummy recesses of your brain. You hope this’ll douse it, if only for a short while, in lemon disinfectant. “But I had to ground you for what’s to come.” 
(You say lemon. It could be anything; spearmint, 100% alcohol. Anything but the ever present tang of putrefaction and bile.)
He opens his mouth to protest.
Your gaze flickers to his own, lidded one, and carries upward to take in the tousled bed-head he has yet to smooth out. “We can be quick.” You gripe, popping open the button that keeps the rest of him from you. “We will be quick.”
“You said it yourself,” He begins, but he doesn’t try to stop you. If anything, his fingers regain their charge, fondling closer to your core, rubbing like a well-oiled machine. “Within the next hour.” 
“Tell me about your dream.” You interrupt, folding over to pepper small pecks across his jaw. The joint clicks in minute irritation as his palms spread over your ass. 
“Nothin’ to say that isn’t well on its way to happenin’ already.”
“That so?” You purr, licking down patchy hair until you can latch onto his jugular. Your canines graze the curve of it, skimming the aged leather of his skin. He hasn’t told you much of his life before the outbreak, but you can imagine he’d worked in the sun often. He’s weathered in that way, bronzed and not quite as elastic as someone significantly younger. 
“But you sure do seem to be takin’ your damn time with it.” 
You pull away just then, admiring the mottled blemish that pricks in shades of eggplant purple and maroon. It’s more rushed than you would have preferred; your conviction warbles, flimsy between these walls, and you have to restrain yourself from diving back down to try again. 
“Impatient old man.” You mutter, rucking your pants to your ankles as he does much the same. He doesn’t reply.
(You would think he doesn’t hear you. You know better than to suppose he misses anything.)
Instead, he cups his balls and pulls his cock from behind his briefs. He doesn’t give you the time to tug off your panties as he does; with one fell swoop, he jerks the soaked fabric to the side, his mushroomed head catching the seam of your cunt.
And there’s no symphony to it; no swelling orchestra that laments with plucking strings. It doesn’t feel like sex as it was, before – that avenue for abundant desire, something to be had on seven hundred thread egyptian cotton sheets. No; poetics can’t be prescribed to the way Joel pushes into you, semi-dry, desperate, like a voracious animal. It’s fast, and brutal, and painful in that delicious way where the burn is embraced.
He feels bigger when he’s in you – not that he doesn’t look the part. But you’re only able to process half of it when he’s caged between your fingers – another truth dampened. Self-preservation, maybe. A dam to redirect the hesitance one might feel looking at the thickset mass. The throbbing veins that branch up the side. The pearlescent precum that beads and slips down a purpling width. He’s huge, alive, and there’s no ignoring it when he pounds up into you like this. 
Suppose it’s flaying pleasure, or the filth he utters over anything else. That string of obscene groans, grunted for only you to hear, his balls slapping your ass and his juices smearing milky white on sweltering walls. You suck him in deeper, deeper, urgent to gorge on this feast before you’re robbed of it. You fuck to the cadence of a ticking clock, manufacturing your own hypnagogia in this perennial moment where he swells up inside of you. And you don’t let him pull out once he’s fully situated, vacuumed in a squelching uptake. You push forward – buttressed on your haunches, your clit mashed against the wild crop of hair on his groyne – then swivel back again, his head marring your cervix. 
(It’s not often you’re on top; he’s too snappy, too anguished to relinquish his grip on your hair and the sight of you pinned to a wall. But with the way his neck stretches, the tendons long and tense, running down to the bulk of his arms – you think he likes it.)
It goes that way, follows that same beat, for the next few minutes, until Joel hugs your chest to his. It doesn’t better the angle, there’s no logical – pleasurable – aspect to it. It’s all sweat and musk, the brine of body odour as you conjoin and soil yourself further with one another’s sins, grime. He pulls you closer for purchase, for warning – Wish I could cum this deep in you, darlin’. You’d love that, wouldn’ ya?, husked over the shell of your ear. 
Or, it’s something deeper that is too volatile to acknowledge in this life. 
There’s nothing to pinpoint about it. You try not to find deeper meaning in anything anymore. 
Though your nerves flare, liquifying your guts into a viscous substance that sloshes around and sullies the duvet more than it already is. Your muscles tense, screwing into tight knots, your fingers twitching through the chest hair underneath you. You look for a stretch of flesh to bite, to kiss, when you unravel at the seams. 
And that tells you all you need to know.  
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He pulls out to splatter his spend onto your stomach.
“That was my only shirt.” You whine.
“Jus’ wipe it off.”
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angelofchaos001 · 1 month
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Meet Shale!
Okay I made a proper introductory post for Shale! (Schist will come once I figure out their design) I'll make them a separate post for all the dialogue I came up with.
some spoilers for the game but not a lot, also tagging time: @doodlebug091 @mellow-mooon @sawyer-is-eepy @a-crawling-chaos (Just poking at my followers/moots who I know like Outer Wilds)
Alright! Let's start the bidding at this beauty of a reference. I know it's got some messy colors and no I don't know which layer the two random dots are on to erase them, but I'm proud because I drew this without needing to reference someone else's posing art. I just used my own arms and legs to figure it out and winged it and it looks like a person. I'm proud.
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While we're on the topic, I might as well discuss my thought process for their design. This is Shale when they're not busy exploring dangerous ice asteroids. I tried to make the design look comfortable, and that's the main thought behind it. Shale likes scarves. They like fingerless gloves. They like baggier shorts. They despise long pants. They don't like wearing bright colors. They like grays and browns. It's Shale in their peak of comfort.
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And then we've got this one! Also done without a pose reference. I actually did draw a whole spacesuit originally, but then covered it up with that big coat they're wearing. Anyway, Shale's suit is designed to be bulky, thick, insulted, everything they'd need to explore space properly. But to add onto that, they brought the scarf and coat for extra warmth on the Interloper. A lot of their patchwork fixes were done by them on the fly, and they even made their viola case all on their own. Shale uses yellow as their bright coloration because they hate the color orange. They have a ton of rope, ice picks, and grippy boots because they knew they were going to an ice place. And that antennae on their helmet is meant to pick up distant signals, so far it has not picked up anything new.
Now it's time for what nobody came here for, the infodump about their history and personality!
Shale developed a fascination with space at a very young age. Extremely young. All it took was young Shale getting one look through a telescope to become completely obsessed with the idea that they, someday, would join the well-known travelers out there and do something legendary. Sometimes, when things lined up right, Shale got to opportunity to talk to the travelers over radio. They loved hearing stories of Feldspar's glory and dreamed to be immortalized like they were.
Once they were allowed to join Outer Wilds Ventures and start learning how to be an astronaut, Shale wasted no time being both a delight to teach and an absolute headache to watch over. Whenever they weren't learning or doing their part in the village (Shale helped keep the observatory clean), they were working on their own little project. With some help from Slate, they attempted to make a jetpack just like the spacesuits had. They got precisely two attempts at this before they were shut down, but the first attempt went off mostly fine. Despite the device not working, Shale landed mostly safely in the water and their only injuries were some scrapes and a sprained ankle.
Shale never stopped writing new ideas, but didn't physically attempt any more jetpacks for a while. Instead, they focused on studying and getting closer to the other trainees they were learning alongside. They did grow close to the protagonist, and another recruit named Tin, though weren't able to click as well with the slightly older hearthians, Schist and Bismuth. Most of their time was still spent with their mentors, but whenever hatchling wasn't working with Hal on the translator, Shale liked to be around them.
When they were a little older and nearing the end of their training, Shale made their second attempt at the jetpack, and came out with a promising result. However, this attempt went far poorer than the previous one. For one, they moved the attempt location to avoid being caught by anyone, sneaking away to some of the further-out geysers with Tin (in case something impossibly went wrong). They even snuck a spacesuit (yoinked from the Zero-G cave), since their plan was to launch from a geyser and leave the planet, just for a moment (They didn't take the jetpack there because the entire point here was testing theirs).
The plan went smoothly, with Shale indeed getting launched from the geyser and coming close to leaving the orbit of the planet, except for the part where their jetpack failed. Catastrophically. It actually exploded on their back, pretty much destroying the "borrowed" suit, but more critically, burning Shale badly. Luckily, they had brought someone else with them, so Tin was able to (try and) catch them so the fall wouldn't kill 'em and then get help for them.
Shale got taken to be medically treated, and everyone agrees they're incredibly lucky to have survived as well as they did. In spite of the massive burns, the suit protected them from the worst of it and it was really only their back that got hurt severely. While the smaller burns along their neck and arms healed fine, much of their back burns scarred and took a lot of time and effort to heal.
So. Obviously Shale got in massive trouble.
Such trouble that not only did they move their launch date back (both for recovery reasons and punishment reasons) significantly, but the others considered forcing Shale out of the space program. In the end, Shale was allowed to stay a recruit as long as they 1) Did not try that again 2) Agreed not to sneak around again 3) Helped repair the suit they'd broken and 4) Spent some time after healing not being in the program (think getting suspended). While in this suspension period, Shale got to watch Schist launch off, still fantasizing about that being them.
Shortly after Schist was Bismuth, and as Shale's own launch date approached they were eager. Tin launched a few days before their own, and so Shale spent a lot of time reassuring them that it'd be fine and they'd do great things. Eventually, it was finally Shale's turn. After camping with Slate (and having an amazing conversation about 'Why did you do the stupid thing' - 'Why did you let me do the stupid thing'), they set off for their ambition: The Interloper. They were determined to find out where it came from.
This ambition proved harder than they'd thought, but it didn't deter Shale from their goal. They became an avid studier of ghost matter by extension of their Interloper studies, and theorized a lot about what happened to the core of the asteroid and it's origins. They also spent some time studying how to make ships designed for deep space, hoping that the frozen Nomai ship they found on the asteroid could hold the answer for that.
Some time later, Tin sent everyone frantic radio messages to come back to Timber Hearth and that they'd discovered something new. Tin desperately tried to explain how they'd found a new hidden spinning disk thing, but as time passed with Tin being unable to provide real evidence, Hearthians began dismissing their claims. Shale was one of the last to give up on Tin's ideas, but eventually waved them off as mad like everyone else. They feel bad for Tin and their situation, but don't disagree with their grounding and truly believe their friend went a little crazy.
After that, some time passed, and then we hit the events of the game. They did radio Hatchling plenty of reassuring words before their launch, though!
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trulybetty · 9 months
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Pickled Peña | Resolutions
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Prompts: pickles, resolutions & "You stand there and accuse me, but where were you at the time?" Pairing: Javi P. x gn!reader Word Count: 1,041 Warnings: alcohol, hangovers, smoking, resolutions & maybe some angst? oh, and pickles if you hadn't worked that one out 😋 - oh, and author has watched like four episodes of Narcos and copious amounts of gifs! Summary: you had one resolution for the new year, yet somehow you managed break it before the new year could even really start AO3: Linked Masterlist: check out @pickled-pena for the full masterlist of entries 🥒
A/N: this is my entry for the first @pickled-pena challenge. The rules were simple, use all of the three prompts, a minimum of 500 words and have fun with it. If you want to join in on the fun, you have the month of January to post your entries. Head over to @pickled-pena for more information or feel free to reach out!
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You blinked against the harsh sunlight streaming through the window, the remnants of last night's celebrations lingering like the dust in the air that could be seen in the streaks of light. You'd ended up in Javi's bed, the sheets tangled around your legs, a testament to the chaos of the evening before. 
You groaned, you couldn’t remember much of what happened once you’d made it back to to his place. You tried to focus enough to look at the hands of your watch, but at that moment it was proving difficult without inciting a further pounding to your head.
What you could remember though was that it was January 1st, 1999, because last night you’d attended a New Year's party hosted by Javi’s cousin.
The house was silent and still, as if it were taking in a deep breath after the milestone of another year gone by.
With two failed attempts at getting out of bed, on the third you successfully swung your legs over the side, your feet sinking into the artificial shag of the carpet. You scrunched your feet, feeling the fibres tickle between your toes. The dark cherry hardwood panelling lined all four walls, only broken up by the sun-faded buttercup yellow curtains that framed the small window across the room.
The room, and the house encompassing it, were frozen in the fifties, the last time the home’s decor had received any attention. 
Managing to pull yourself up you found the woollen sweater you’d had on the night before and after some searching managed to find your leggings on the other side of the room. The rest of your belongings had been strewn about the house in a pathway that led from the front door to the door of Javi’s room.
Stepping out of the bedroom to the living room, you were grateful the curtains were still pulled. The smell of coffee had you shuffling to the kitchen, pausing only momentarily to pull the crocheted afghan from the back of the sofa around your shoulders. The patchwork of colours was almost too bright in the light of the headache that had moved behind your eyes. You just hoped it’d stave off the cold that had settled in the house. 
The kitchen tiles were cool under your feet, and had you bouncing on the balls of your feet. The cold too much coming off of the carpeted living room. You poured yourself a steaming cup of coffee. It was strong and black, the bitter aroma wrapped around you like a familiar embrace.
With the chipped mug cupped between your hands, you slipped on your boots and stepped outside. The air was chilly and the blanket wasn’t enough to stave off the cold, but it felt refreshing in your hungover state. Though very much a stark contrast to the warmth of Javi’s bed you’d left behind.
Shielding your eyes from the morning sun there he was at the edge of the property, where the land stretched out to rolling hills. He was leant against the fence, the one he and his father had built the week before, a cigarette dangling from his lips. There was an aura of peace about him that you couldn’t help but gravitate towards.
If he knew you were there, he didn’t make it known. Only acknowledging you with a brief nod when you handed him your coffee to hop up onto the fence before taking it back to fill your hands with the warmth it held.
Exchanging a look between the two of you, you accepted the silent offer of a drag from his cigarette. The smoke filled your lungs, a familiar burn that didn’t quite hide the taste of last night's mistakes.
“I broke my resolution already,” you said, the words floating out with the smoke from your lips.
Javi turned to you, a question in his eyes. “What was that?”
“That I wouldn't sleep with you again.”
You don’t know when he’d gotten that much closer, the heat of his body was in contrast to the chill of the morning. He nuzzled your jaw with his nose, a gesture so typical of him that it tightened something in your chest. “Why's that?” he asks, his voice a gentle rumble.
“You know why, Javi,” you reply, the reminder bitter on your tongue.
He smiled, a flash of teeth and mischief. “That was last year.”
“We got back here at 2 am, Javi. Hardly a new leaf turned.”
His chuckle was soft, almost lost to the wind that rustled through the trees. “Things got fuzzy after those shots.”
You both fall silent, the ridiculousness of last night's concoction making you grimace. “Who told Leslie-Ann that mixing pickle juice with tequila was a good thing?”
Javi just laughed, the sound echoing in the crisp morning air, as if the absurdity of the concoction was a fitting tribute to the absurdity of resolutions—and maybe, to the unpredictable nature of the relationship between the two of you.
He moved closer, the look in his eyes a mix of warmth and something a little more earnest. His hand found yours, fingers entwining as if they always belonged together. He leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that held the soft promise of the new year. It was a kiss that spoke of the years gone by, of the turbulent history shared, and the magnetic pull that kept drawing the two of you back to each other.
The kiss broke, leaving you both slightly breathless. You looked up at him, your eyes locking with his as you steadied your voice, “You stand there and accuse me, but where were you at the time?”
Javi's eyes softened, the playful edge giving way to sincerity, “I was right by your side sweetheart, making the same foolish decision as you to drink that shit.”
The intensity of his gaze held you captive, his words holding a deeper meaning tethering you to the spot. You felt the weight of the unspoken feelings between you, the years of near-misses and what-ifs crystallizing into a single, fragile moment under that New Year's sky.
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Yeah, I did another Buck/Tommy-Tevan-whatever ship name-fic!
Buck is finally taking his flight lessons, and of course they go wrong.
Tags: Character Study, Fluff, Whump, Hurt Tommy Kinard, Hurt/Comfort, Angst.
Read below the cut (4,691 words) or on AO3! And this is the song which gave this fic its name.
- Face the fear, grow stronger by the scars -
"Are you sure that's all right?"
Did he sound nervous? Buck let a broad grin appear on his face, if only to prevent this potential impression – he could certainly feel his stomach prickle, and it wasn’t because of Tommy. Tommy, who was sitting next to him looking very relaxed (and handsome), hands in his lap instead on the cyclic.
"Relax, Evan, and focus on what I've explained to you," the pilot returned.
Buck clung to the controls, almost squinting to watch the sky and the lights in the helicopter at the same time, pondering, geez, what was I thinking? He couldn't admit to Tommy that he was scared shitless, nor that he had never actually wanted to take flying lessons. He’d always thought it was a clever and somewhat frivolous metaphor because Tommy had more experience with men. Buck had thought that was some kind of gay code for yes, I want to try that.
Apparently not. Maybe Tommy was playing a prank on him, but even if the guy had a wry sense of humor, Buck didn’t believe he would do something like that. Tommy… he had changed. Or maybe he’d just evolved, had peeled out of his shell to finally show what was underneath. And Buck quite liked that.
That's why he didn't think he needed to pull this off to please Tommy (although he very much wanted to), but to be honest. He'd asked for flying lessons and got them, and it wasn't like him to look for excuses now – even if this was way more literal than he'd thought.
"Pulling up the collective increases the pitch angle of all rotor blades by the same amount," Buck repeated Tommy’s lesson.
"The pitch angle and…?"
"Uh… the… the angle of attack!"
Tommy's satisfied smile made fine lines appear next to his eyes, which caused Buck's stomach to tingle even more – only this time he knew the reason.
"You were paying attention after all, Evan," Tommy said, chuckling. "All right, well done. That's enough for the first time, I think. Watch out, I'll take over."
Tommy had used his connections and actually managed to get one of the training helicopters; these had dual controls allowing the flight instructor to intervene if need be. However, in less than an hour, real student pilots were waiting for the machine, and Buck was already looking forward to feeling solid ground under his feet again.
"All right."
Buck kept his hands on his cyclic, watched the altitude display and waited for Tommy to take over. The pilot’s hands were already on his own controls, and it was only when he nodded to Buck that the latter dared to let go of his. If he had his way, he would never get behind the controls of a helicopter again. That meant he would have to tell Tommy the truth at some point and that he would lose a little bit of coolness in Christopher's eyes, but the thrill just wasn’t worth it. Maybe Buck had also changed – or evolved –a bit. He cared for his life, and Tommy was one of the reasons.
"Fine day for a flight," said Tommy, casting a glance out of the canopy as he flew an extremely elegant loop. 
And Buck had to admit that the view was fantastic. They had left the city’s concrete jungle behind, headed east, gliding across the Californian desert. The sparse vegetation beneath the helicopter was a patchwork of green, yellow and brown spots, occasionally adorned by incredibly colorful flowers, and it all looked much more exciting from up here. The same was true for Tommy, though... the telltale extra heartbeat that consistently filled Buck's chest when he looked at the man told him he didn't care where Tommy was. Just as long as he could be next to him. It sure was exciting, dating a pilot, but it didn’t quite explain Tommy’s overwhelming, mesmerizing charisma. There was way more to him than being a great guy with a fascinating job, much underneath, and Buck wanted to get to know these parts.
"Have you ever kissed up in the air, Evan?" Tommy asked abruptly, his smile way too confident.
"Well," Buck countered without flinching, "I'm a member of the High Mile Club, you know."
Tommy let out a good-natured laugh, filling the helicopter’s small cockpit with mirth. It ended abruptly when a warning light suddenly came on, its frantic red flashes announcing something that Buck believed bode no good.
"What's going on?"
Tommy stared ahead, his knuckles white from clutching the cyclic.
"Engine problem," he admitted, when shortly afterwards a signal tone was heard and more controls began to flash.
"Engine," Buck echoed, already feeling a hint of damp palms. "That's... uh, not good, right?"
"Don't panic," Tommy replied with a curt sideways glance that was apparently intended to be reassuring, yet wasn't at all. "If the helicopter's engine fails, autorotation kicks in. Remember? ’T was pretty much one of the first things you asked me."
"With the help of autorotation, we descend in a controlled manner," said Buck, who actually remembered, "and can make an emergency landing."
"Exactly. It's bound to be a bit bumpy, but…"
His words died away in a dull rumble shaking the cockpit.
"That's normal, right?"
By now Buck didn't care if he sounded nervous, the situation was clearly a cause for tension, and Tommy's petrified expression didn't make things any better.
"Autorotation makes for a rough descent," Tommy said, but the steep crease on his forehead was hardly promising. "It's just that…"
Whatever it was, it was immediately forgotten when a huge jolt went through the helicopter. Tommy tore at the cyclic and flipped a few switches, Buck felt them go into a tailspin. His left hand uselessly gripped the canopy, as if he wanted to hold either himself or the whole contraption together.
"Fuck," Tommy cursed, and that's when Buck knew they were really in deep shit.
Tommy grabbed his headset, apparently about to make a distress call – sensible, Buck thought, with a touch of relief – but at that moment the helicopter plummeted several miles. Buck was prepared for it to get bumpy, as Tommy had put it, yet there was no way to prepare for this. Buck's stomach plunged into infinity, and this morning’s sandwich was about to make its way back. The last thing he saw were Tommy's wide eyes, which held no fear, only regret.
———
Later, Buck had no memory of the impact, although it would haunt him in his dreams. Now, however, the high sun stung him hard, it seemed as if it wanted to break through his closed eyelids. He blinked, his vision blurred for a moment, and looked up into a bright blue sky. Such a beautiful day, he thought dazedly, until he wondered why on earth he was lying on the ground. Millions of sharp grains of sand seemed to drill into his back, but there was more, and then reality hit him. The helicopter. They had crashed.
Tommy.
As a first responder, Buck had learned to stay calm. It was just comparatively difficult when it was you, even more so when it was someone you clearly liked. And as much as Buck loved the adrenaline rush, this required a cool head. So he turned his neck very carefully, getting a first overview without moving. Strangely enough, he found himself lying outside the helicopter, he must have been thrown out on impact. So much for seatbelts. The grains of sand, of which there were undoubtedly plenty, turned out to be much less sharp than the splinters from the canopy, piercing his back.
Slowly, Buck sent impulses to his body, bracing for broken bones – he hardly hurt at all, but the human system provided amazing abilities, and he knew pain might come later and be all the more intense. He moved his fingers carefully, felt whether he could move his toes and worked his way from limb to limb. His overall impression was that, apart from a few cuts and no doubt some bruises, he had been incredibly lucky. Fortune favors fools, he thought, and it had probably been extremely stupid to tempt fate with flight lessons. The wreckage of the helicopter, lying overturned on its top and fuming, was witness to that.
The sight shot an extra dose of adrenaline through Buck's veins, and he suddenly felt wide awake. The angle was unfavorable, so he could barely see into the cockpit, but Tommy was certainly not lying out here. If he was still in there... Smoke means fire, Buck thought incoherently, and with a jerk, he ordered his body to straighten up.
Something dripped from his hair down onto his hand, almost hesitantly, and he felt a little dizzy, although he had expected blood. But that didn't matter. His headphones were gone, and as he slowly rose to his feet, he noticed he was missing a shoe –the fucking expensive Nike’s, sure –and his jeans had a few holes that weren't a fashion statement. Buck plucked a slightly larger piece of shard from his lower leg, limping to the wreckage. He prepared himself to simply find an emergency situation, he was familiar with it, he had experienced it hundreds, heck, a thousand times.
But Buck found that nothing could prepare him for this, and that cold fear was eating into his guts. Somewhere in this half-crushed mess of metal was actually Tommy. Frantically, Buck looked at the rest of the helicopter. Was it really on fire? Would the thing explode? Focus, he thought. He couldn't make out the source of the smoke, and as there was no open fire yet, there was need to hurry but not panic. At least that's what he told himself like a mantra in his head.
His bruised knees cracked as he crouched down next to what was left of the cockpit. There was Tommy, and his heartbeat quickened, but a deep breath forced it to calm. Tommy's belts were still intact and had obviously held, because he was hanging in them like a grotesque bat; after all, the helicopter had turned completely on its own axis. A dangerously jagged piece of glass distorted the view, and after Buck had frantically, albeit unsuccessfully, looked around for stones or the like, he smashed his elbow into the glass
without further ado. Then he took off his remaining shoe to remove enough broken pieces to finally get to Tommy.
Tommy's eyes were closed, the left side of his face barely recognizable beneath blood. Buck didn't notice that his hands were shaking as he carefully reached inside, uttering a much too quiet, too insecure "Tommy?" while searching for his carotid artery.
Time stood still, a vacuum of non-time enveloped Buck. His hands were functional, but not his mind, imagining things. Bad things. Buck had perhaps only survived because he had been tossed out of the helicopter as it crashed. And it was a miracle that he only had suffered a few scratches. Tommy, however, hung in his safety belts motionless, his face a peculiar mixture of paleness and blood. Some victims of an accident appeared completely peaceful but were already dead, some did not even reveal their previous agony. Others seemed lucky, happy to have survived a disaster yet died shortly afterwards from a brain haemorrhage.
It was all so wrong, so unfair; one heartbeat long, Buck felt the fearful knot in his stomach turn to rage. He was hot and cold at the same time, completely unrelated to the merciless sun. Worry, he knew, was a monster devouring the mind. But the sensation that rose up inside him, enveloping him from his toes to the tips of his hair, turning his guts inside out, making his nerves tingle... it was more than ordinary worry. His feelings were familiar, to a certain extend. He had already experienced this kind of fear, this vault of anxiety, with his friends, his family of the 118.
But this was different, and it was so strange. It wasn't supposed to be like this, was it? Tommy and he barely knew each other, two dates and a surprise kiss hardly justified that claim. There was nothing between them yet, nothing worthy of a name, right? Everything was still new, unknown, and yet... Damn, I still don't know how you like your coffee, he thought. I know what your lips taste like, but not your skin. What's your favorite movie, Tommy? Does your hair curl up in the morning? Buck knew nothing of the sort, and probably not much at all, but he knew one thing: he wanted to find these things out.
Buck's eyes widened in surprise when his fingers finally found the artery. Tommy’s pulse was faint, not quite steady; a trapped, restless bird under his equally uneasy grip. It didn’t matter, he was alive, a beating heart can heal, one of his grandmother's many sayings.
"I’ll manage," Buck said, mostly to convince himself, "we'll get out of this."
They would. Even if he didn’t exactly know where they were, other than somewhere in the Californian desert, less than an hour from the city, not the best conditions for an… Emergency call. Realization hit Buck like a bolt of lightning. It didn't matter that he didn't know where they had crashed, his phone could be tracked via GPS. The helicopter had surely been detected by air traffic control, the crash presumably also been registered. They were in the middle of nowhere, no roads to be seen, but the situation was far from hopeless.
Buck quickly changed his mind when he couldn't find his phone in the pockets of his pants, no matter how much he fumbled. First the shoe, then the phone; Buck clearly remembered how his mother had scolded him as a child when he had lost something. Not my fault, he thought, it was never really my fault. Nevermind, there were still options, weren't there? The helicopter's communication system, or Tommy's phone… Tommy. Buck almost slapped himself in the face to call himself to his senses. First things first. Saving lives was much more than his job, and right now, right here, he desperately wanted to save a life. He shook his head to ease the slight fog in his brain and took stock of the situation.
No tools, not even a simple pocket knife. Buck looked at the belts Tommy was attached to, and he had the absurd thought that he was prepared to bite through it, every single damn thread, if he had to. But of course he didn't have to. His gaze fell on the shards he had smashed himself, and a small, wry smile flickered across his face.
Despite all his care and caution, the shard he had chosen cut into his hand while he was working on the belts. Buck hardly noticed; he was concentrating on cutting the fabric, while at the same time checking again and again whether it would cause Tommy to slip. But that didn't happen, the angle at which the helicopter had touched the ground ensured that the pilot was reasonably safe even after removing the straps. Well, as safe as you could be when you were forced to sit upside down, anyway, and Buck knew it was time to change that.
"I'll have you in a minute," he said, as confidently as he allowed himself to be.
Carefully observing the still unconscious Tommy, Buck patted him down, looking for obvious injuries, open wounds, fractures, and any hints on internal bleedings. Only when he was reasonably sure that Tommy would survive the change of position – and actually he wasn't, but he had no choice – did Buck set about carefully pulling the man from his seat. 
———
Grains of sand stuck to Buck's skin, cutting into it almost as much as the numerous shards, and the craziest infection scenarios popped into his mind when he had finally managed to free Tommy from the wreckage. He repeatedly checked his pulse and breathing, mumbled a few words, which again were only meant to calm himself down, and turned to the helicopter.
Amidst the endless, yellow stretch of sand with its occasional dabs of sturdy plants, the jumble of steel and shattered glass looked almost grotesque. A too-big insect that had fallen on its back and would never get up again. The flight school would probably not be happy. Buck stroked his forehead thoughtfully, felt the edges of a laceration and painfully came back to reality. He cast a hesitant glance at Tommy, but then tore himself away and cautiously approached the wreck. The smoke could probably be seen for miles, which was good, but as far as Buck could tell, there was no active fire. A smoldering fire, which bought him time. Those usually sizzled for a long time, and there was nothing he could do about it anyway. As long as they didn't directly breathe in the fumes, they were fine.
Well, fine. For the first time, Buck considered the possibility he might have suffered a concussion, but Tommy was clearly worse off, and that was for him to deal with. He dropped into the sand next to Tommy to examine him more closely. Strangely enough, he appeared... well, almost undamaged. Apart from the blood on his face and his obvious unconsciousness, of course. Very carefully, Buck cupped Tommy's chin, turned the bloody side to get a better view, and found a nasty but mostly harmless laceration near his ear. If they were found in time, and if someone with excellent suturing skills was called in, it would probably only leave a very inconspicuous scar.
Hen’s good at suturing, Buck thought wistfully, but this kind of memories needed to be pushed away. Yes, perhaps he felt something like… homesickness for the 118 because he was in a situation where he could normally rely on an excellent team. But he was neither helpless nor clueless.
"I got this," he assured the unconscious man in the desert sand. "They’ll soon find us, maybe even the 118, wouldn’t that be fun?"
Well, not exactly fun, but a relief nonetheless. Buck remembered Tommy's candor, in his kitchen, when he had admitted that he envied the team's closeness and familiarity. That was true, absolutely; Buck was convinced that Bobby would personally rush the firetruck across the desert if he had a chance to help him. And it was weird to realize that there was someone who felt like he had only a few years ago. Someone who believed that he didn't belong. Someone like Tommy, who was strong on the outside, didn't dare show a weakness, pretended to be something just to keep up appearances. But he had changed. He had opened, just like Buck had to. Because he had realized that this kind of honesty, as corny as it sounded, opened hearts.
It had certainly opened Buck’s.
The hairs on his arms stood up as he realized. That is, he didn't quite realize it yet, but there was something inside him that clearly told him he was on the trail of something big. He looked at Tommy, thinking, oh. They didn't have anything fixed yet, he hadn't even dared to think of Tommy as his possible boyfriend. But what was rising up inside him went beyond any usual concern for a good friend.
A lot of this was new. The feeling was irritating, almost painful, and at the same time it enveloped him like a cosy blanket. Buck knew passion, crushes and deep connection, and all of it felt different. And yet… Now was not the time, and Buck sensed that this feeling inside him was precious. A treasure that was better guarded before it was shown to anyone.
He turned back to Tommy, and now he noticed that his right hand was swollen. Buck carefully touched Tommy’s wrist and immediately felt that it was broken. The pilot had gripped the cyclic so tightly that the force had shattered his wrist at impact. But even that didn't explain why he was unconscious. Of course, it could just have been the impact itself; the forces acting on the human body at such speed were enormous.
Buck had a very clear idea of what injuries were possible, most of which did not have to be visible on the outside. This knowledge was both a blessing and a curse, but right now, it was a hindrance. Because this was Tommy, and the fact that Tommy was injured made Buck's stomach drop to infinity. So much could go wrong. So many ways to miss an opportunity that Buck desperately wanted. So many chances to feel warmth instead of this clamminess when he put his fingers on those cheeks.
He kept his fingers on Tommy's cheeks for a while longer, because what could he actually do? Apart from sheer will and the oppressive knowledge in his head, he had nothing to help Tommy, and that tugged at his nerves. So much so that he felt it physically. Or was that... Electrified, Buck leaned over Tommy, staring at him as if he could see through him, could see his innermost being and understand what was going on.
What was actually going on was simple and yet extremely longed for: Tommy opened his eyes.
———
"'Sup?" he slurred, and relief seemed to pour out of Buck's every pore, so much so that he began to tremble without really realizing it.
The pilot’s gaze was not completely focused, but clearer than one might expect. Buck was so close to him that he could make out tiny speckles in Tommy's eyes, and he placed that information deep in his brain before pulling back a little.
"We crashed," Buck explained, "and it wasn't my fault. I mean, uh, that's probably important for insurance or something."
"Are you saying it was my fault?" Tommy asked, blinking.
"What? No, no way, right before the crash you said something about the engine... wait, y..you're kidding? Now?"
"Now is as good as any time, Evan," Tommy said softly, and Buck's heart went into a big but very pleasant stumble. "Are you okay?"
"Me?"
Buck's exhale was half a laugh, and it must have been contagious, because the corners of Tommy's mouth went up, though he inhaled sharply a moment later.
"Easy," Buck admonished him sternly, "I don't know what's going on yet."
He repeated his palpation, tapping and stroking Tommy's skin, repeatedly asking if this or that hurt. Aside from bruises, cuts, and the broken hand Tommy was regarding with pursed lips, he seemed fine, at least until Buck got to his abdomen.
"Oh," Tommy muttered, as if surprised himself that this felt anything but good.
"Here, left side?" Buck inquired, yet Tommy's pained face told him enough.
Pressure-sensitive abdomen, stiff muscles… Buck's lips were dry, the sun added to it, but he gulped hard.
"Do you feel dazed, confused? Anything else? Blurred vision?"
"I see exactly what I need to see," Tommy said, perhaps a touch too dreamy for Buck's taste, even if it was flattering.
"Wrong time, I guess," Buck said, but he couldn't suppress a small, if shaky grin. "You might have injured your spleen."
"Happens," Tommy replied, seemingly unimpressed, but Buck saw through that facade by now. Then again... was it really that Tommy didn't want to show any weakness even now, or was he so confident that Buck had things under control?
"When will they be here?" Tommy asked suddenly.
"Huh?"
"Emergency services. Do you have a concussion, Evan? You've got blood on your face."
"I have blood on my face?"
It wasn't funny at all, but a dry, harsh laugh escaped him. Then he remembered.
"I've lost my phone. Maybe the helicopter's coms are still working?"
Buck cast a doubtful glance at the wreck, but Tommy slowly shook his head.
"Shortly before the crash, I tried to send mayday, but the radio had failed just like the engine. It's a miracle we're still alive, Evan."
"A miracle," Buck echoed, filled with strange satisfaction. He had defied death once before, he wasn't going to let this stop him after all.
"But," Tommy continued, his still unsteady gaze searching Buck's, "air traffic control had us on their radar, they noticed the crash. We’ll be found even if the GPS has failed, and that is very unlikely."
"As unlikely as a crash despite autorotation."
"Fair."
"I just wish there was something I could do," Buck said, his voice displaying his restlessness – he always felt this way when he wasn’t able to act.
He took another look at the wreckage of the helicopter, and this time something caught his eye. Tommy had been wearing a hoodie with the flight school logo when they'd met at the helipad – it seemed like days ago now, but probably two or three hours at most. However, he had taken it off before the flight, stowing it somewhere behind the seat. Technically, the garment was still behind the seat, except everything was upside down now, and the hoodie had fallen towards the ceiling. Buck quickly grabbed it, pulled it out and finally placed it on Tommy's chest and stomach.
"There you go. Keeping warm is important in case of internal injuries."
"We're in the desert, Evan."
"Right, but we don't want you to go into hypovolemic shock, better safe than sorry, Tommy."
"Don’t worry." Surprised, Buck realized that Tommy had grabbed his hand. "You're doing a great job. I'm not exaggerating, and I'm not flattering you, Evan Buckley, but I'm glad I'm here with you, in this mess."
"Really?"
Buck felt his face brighten, and he hid neither relief nor pride behind a mask of equanimity.
"Really. I mean... what kind of story is that? Just imagine that. We crashed, and my boyfriend saved me, and we both survived."
"Your… your boyfriend," Buck returned, stunned.
"Evan. Don't tell me you don't want this. I'm badly hurt, remember. Don’t hurt me even more."
Buck was thinking a lot of very confusing thoughts at that moment, but he heard the faint undertone of uncertainty, he saw the hint of vulnerability in Tommy’s face.
"I mean," Tommy added, "it's a bonding thing, isn't it? Two dates and a crash are enough for me to know what I want, Evan."
His gaze became searching, and Buck understood, and he could only hope that despite everything, he now radiated that confidence that Tommy obviously craved as much as he did. Tommy wanted him. Him, in fact, not the ideal image of a guy, not an exciting fireman, not a sex-addicted braggart. Himself, under all the layers, with all his experiences and the ones he was yet to have.
"I like it," he said quietly. "And I'll find out how you like your coffee, just wait and see."
Tommy's laugh came a little raspy, which was quite unsettling. Still, it was a laugh, and Buck liked the sound and what it did to the little wrinkles next to Tommy's eyes.
"You don't have to make an effort for that. It's quite simple, I like my coffee…"
His voice trailed off as his gaze became distant.
"Tommy?" Buck inquired anxiously, mentally going over the numerous complications that could happen.
"I... say, do you see that?"
"See what?"
Buck turned his head and looked out into the endless expanse, nothing but brownish yellow and green speckles, and he thought he had no idea what to do if Tommy's condition worsened now. But way back there, there was something else, a different color, and it reminded him of...
"A... a fire engine, I think," he stammered.
A fire engine racing through the middle of the desert, far away from any road or trail. And Buck couldn't help but think of Bobby and the crew, he almost knew it was them.
"You see? It's all gonna be fine, I told you," said Tommy.
"Did you? Hm. Wait. You were just about to tell me how you like your coffee."
"Yes, but I think you should find out for yourself, Evan."
I will, Buck thought, and he smiled.
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smallgodseries · 1 year
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[image description: A black, jackal-headed, fellow stands in the desert. White marble-clad pyramids with golden tops rise behind him. His yellow eyes show discomfort and embarrassment about the translucent cone around his neck. Text reads, “#2 Herman Ubis, The Small God of Mortification.”]
Some people try to call him a patchwork god, like the act of fusing two things into one is somehow new, or unique, or shameful.  He hopes they’ve never eaten a peanut butter cup in their short, tormented lifetimes, because if they have, they’ll have some explaining to do when they get to his corner of the afterlife.
Hermes, God of Travelers and Thieves, and Anubis, God of the Afterlife and the Underworld.  How anyone thought of mashing the two together is incomprehensible even to him, and he is, as the people say, literally a god.  The god of mortification, to be specific, of the sacrifice of sin, the slow purification of the self and the soul.
Of course, who got to define “sin” was always a flexible thing, because with so many routes to divinity running back to so many pantheons, anything could be a sin if looked at from the right angle.
Herman doesn’t believe in sin, which is a little awkward, since it’s literally his reason for existence.  A universe cleansed of sin, however, would be a deadly boring place, and since every pantheon has half a dozen gods, both large and small, dedicated to creativity and the arts, he’s pretty sure he’d be sinning against them if he took their purpose away by grinding inspiration out of the human spirit.  So instead of targeting sin as a nebulous and unreachable concept, he goes for the next best thing:
Hypocrisy.
Oh, there’s probably a god of moral contradictions someone who’ll swear the hypocrites and the liars belong to them, and maybe they’re right; maybe he’s coloring a little bit outside the lines by going about things like this.  But at the end of the day, a toothy smile and the question “Are you really sure about that?” has gotten him a very, very long way, and he doesn’t see any good reason to change the way he’s been doing things.
When you’re a man with the head of a jackal and a fluent grasp of classical Greek, you have to make your own fun.
Herman Ubis is having an absolute blast.
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cassiefromhell · 1 year
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Cursed Creatures: Chapter Three, "Damn The Curses, But Damn The Humans Too"
Chapter One Chapter Two
fanbase: jjk
S. Gojo x Reader x Sukuna
Summary: Maki has informed you of a serious threat: three special grade curses, and completely unexpected, at that. Now, you have to go and deal with them: and get the kids the safety.
WC: 4.3k
Warnings: fighting, injuries, slightttt gore
A/N: Requests are open.
Three § Damn The Curses, But Damn The Humans Too
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The veil shudders as I pass it, allowing my curse form to slip through. My tail slinks along behind me as I sprint in, as I’ve gone full true form - lean and muscled and tall.
I adjust the curtain to only allow the three second-years in or out. I don’t want these curses slipping out, nor any extra sorcerers intruding.
I come across Inumaki first, coughing blood and doing his best to fight off a smaller curse. He’s half keeled over, but still on his feet.
Activating Sukuna’s technique, Dismantle, I exorcize the curse with a swift wave of my hand. It crumbles and vanishes.
“Inumaki,” I yell, sprinting to his side and taking one of his arms. “I’m tagging you all out. Can you get to the veil on your own, or will you need assistance?”
Inumaki gives a shaky thumbs up, turning and limping to the veil. 
I nod to myself, one down. Sprinting further into the graveyard, I leap over headstones and graves, shooting out tendrils of my energy to search for the others.
My energy snags on a presence, indescribable past that. I stumble, nearly faceplanting, but catch myself on a tombstone. I shudder, raising my hand and activating two mental lines: Panda and Maki.
You two, I shout down the lines. Locations. Give me a signal. 
Dirt is thrown into the air to my right, and I leap in that direction. I round two corners, and come face to face with Maki, Panda, and all three special grades.
A humanoid curse with a patchwork face and blue hair, and a sick grin.
A volcano-looking asshole with a yellow and black-spotted cloak.
A white, alien-esc curse with black lines and a wrapped shoulder.
Panda is down, and Maki stands at his feet, defending him against the trio as best as she can.
“Maki,” I say, training my eyes on the curses. “You three are done. Meet Inumaki outside. Help is on the way.”
“Are you—“ she coughs, looking from me to the three. “Sure? They’re—“
“I’ve got it,” I crack my knuckles, raising both hands in a fighting stance. “Leave.”
The three have shifted their attention to me, and the blue-haired one squeals in delight. “Ahh, the legendary {Y/N}, how exciting.”
“Well, you know my name,” I purr, stepping closer and blocking the two students as Maki drags Panda away. “What’s yours?”
“This isn’t the mission, Mahito,” the volcano guy starts, grabbing patchwork’s arm. “We should report back now that we have what we need.”
I scan the three, trying to figure out what exactly it is that they have. I senses just keep dragging me back to the patchwork one, and I snarl.
“Hand it over.”
He laughs, really laughs at me. “As Sukuna’s princess, you really think you can just get away with anything, hm?”
And that’s all it takes to snap my patience.
I vanish from their sight, using Essence to mask my scent and Energy. I reappear directly behind the patchwork curse, and swiftly slice off an arm, then warp myself into a tree.
The presence I felt has followed me, and I look down at the stitched arm in my grip. I peel the fingers back, and cough out a gasp as I come face to face with a Sukuna thumb. 
The three act immediately. Spikes of flesh are spiraling after me, followed by tendrils of splintering wood and bubbling magma. I hiss, jumping from one tree to the next, skillfully evading each attack. My priority now is taking care of this finger — I can’t let these nobodies get their paws on it.
One of the spikes lands a hit straight through my thigh, and I snarl. It locks me in place for an incoming branch attack, and it leaves me no other option.
“Domain expansion,” I hiss, bringing my hands together and making a bow shape. “Huntress’s Forest.”
The graveyard melts away, thick black trees beginning to spiral out of the ground. Tall bows that are nearly my height hang from branches, only accessible to me. Deer sprint through the woods, flooding every path with wildlife, bright flowers, and millions of curses that I’ve captured.
The trio yells as they’re bombarded with thousands of attacks from the curses in my arsenal. However, they fight back well, shredding plenty of them to purple bloodied ribbons.
I sit up on the top of a tree, pulling a dagger straight out of its trunk and beginning to sharpen it. I raise a hand, and all attacks end, leaving the three curses injured and standing in a small clearing.
“I want names,” my voice booms across the domain. “Your names. And everyone you work with and for.”
Patchwork bites out another laugh. “Well, aren’t you cute? Thinking you can domain us and we’ll just bend to your will. You’re hardly a special grade, and I have a feeling you’re a one or two trick pony.”
I raise a brow. “How many techniques do you think I have?”
“You’re half human, and only have whatever power Sukuna allows you. I’d bet on two.”
I snort, giving a little shrug. “Sure. Why don’t you try to break out of my domain, hm?”
Patchwork turns to the volcano asshole, elbowing him. “Use Coffin of the Iron Mountain. Put this bitch in her place.”
The volcano man remains silent.
A sly grin spreads across my face, and I cock my head to the side. “Speechless? Is Sukuna’s Whore a little more powerful than you had anticipated?”
“My name is Jogo,” he whispers, finally flicking his eyes to me. “And I’ll make a pact with you.”
I raise a brow, halting the sharpening of my blade. “Oh?”
“You release us three. In return, you keep the finger and we will owe you a favor of any size. You may call it in only once, to any curse we work with or for, however it must be something that can de done immediately, and will not involve the curse exorcizing themself.”
I click my tongue, tsking at them. “So many conditions. Are you really that desperate to escape my clutches?”
“Yes,” the third finally speaks, in a language even my ancient ears barely understand. “Mighty Queen of Curses.”
I frown.
Maybe I’ve accumulated enough power to be called that. Either way, I don’t like it.
“I’ll accept your pact, if none of you ever call me that again.”
“Done,” Jogo confirms.
I drop my domain, and the trees sink back into the ground, sky lightening once more as my wildlife dissolve. The three curses are gone in a flash, and I roll my eyes, slinking to the grass.
Once my feet are on the ground, I murmur a quick prayer to respect the dead that were trampled on this afternoon. The veil is still standing, and I head towards the street. 
The moment I exit out of the thick black curtain, I release a low whistle. Outside, there’s three black academy cars, multiple Jujutsu Sorcerer investigators, two ambulances — one with Inumaki, the other with Maki — a small field medical team, and Gojo and Nanami leaning against the hood of my car, speaking to the three first year students. 
The entire street flinches as I step outside, surely in the presence of the Sukuna finger that I now hold up in front of me. The veil rises behind me, vanishing into the sky.
“Someone come and take this before it leaves burn marks on me,” I drone, and an investigator immediately comes to my side to swipe it out of my grasp. They don’t like me being near the fingers, for fear that I’ll eat them or some shit.
Once that’s done, I head for the ambulance with Maki in it. It doesn’t seem like she’s going to be taken to the hospital, more like just looked over and hydrated.
I ignore the five and a half pairs of eyes on me from the direction of my car, hopping into the ambulance where Maki is sat up on a stretcher.
“How’re you feeling, kiddo?” I lean against the doorway, tilting my head to the side. 
“Fine. You saved our asses back there.”
“I’m proud,” I say, walking to her side in order to extend my hand and pat her shoulder. “You called for help when you realized that dealing with the situation on your own wasn’t feasible, which is one of the most important parts of being a sorcerer. Furthermore, you watched Panda’s back when he was down, holding your own against three special grades. I don’t care what your ID card says. In my eyes, you’re a semi-first grade sorcerer, well on your way to advancing to first grade.”
Her eyes water for a moment and then she blinks quickly, sniffing and giving me a serious nod. “I’m honored by your words.”
I smile, sitting on the side of the stretcher and holding my arms out. “Come here, kiddo.”
Maki leans forward, throwing her arms around me and pushing her face into my neck. I stroke her hair.
“If you ever need anything,” I continue, patting her head, “I’m here. Girl talk, womanly advice from a girl who’s been her for a millenium — anything, kiddo. Come to me,” I pause for a moment. “And you lasted the longest, so you get to drive the car.”
“Ahem.”
I release the green-haired teenager at the cough, turning to face the intruder. “Polite as ever, Nanami.”
“They want your report,” he gives me a long once-over as he holds out a clip board and pen. “You should probably get that leg checked out.”
I glance down, remembering that I was speared through the thigh. There’s a hole in my navy uniform. It seems to have shredded my flesh, given how much it’s bleeding — though in this form I’m anatomically full curse, so my blood vanishes before it can hit the floor. 
“Aw, shit, I was hoping it would kind of just heal itself,” I grumble, getting up and taking the clipboard and pen, hopping out of the ambulance. I completely ignore the way a wave of pain hits my leg in response to the impact. “Thanks, Nanami. I’ll write my report.”
“This should be considered overtime,” he says, following me as I walk to my car. “You came out here to supervise, and were ill informed of the scope of the mission. You were expecting maybe a first grade or two, not anything like this.”
I chuckle, hardly looking up from the clipboard as I scribble down the details of what happened. “I know, right? I’ll make the academy pay me extra. Although, they’ll probably object after they see the bill from this morning’s shopping spree.”
He steps in front of me, and I finally spare a glance at him. His blond eyebrows are nearly up to his hairline, and shockingly, he’s lacking his usual glasses. “The academy allows you to use their money for shopping?” 
“Mhmmm,” I laugh, putting a hand on his chest. “I’ll take you shopping one time, on their dime,” I wink, “they do anything to keep the big scary curse at bay.”
He cracks a tiny, itty bitty smile, turning on his heel to face forward once more. I go back to looking at the clipboard, flipping over the paper and detailing the curses I saw. I write at an incredible speed, putting some extra curse energy into my pen strokes.
I can sense when we’ve reached the car, and I stop, but keep my nose buried in my work.
“Can she even hear us?” Nobara asks, and my energy picks up on her nudging Fushiguro.
“I’ve never quite figured that out,” Gojo replies. “If you focus, you can feel her energy. She can sense we’re here, but I’m not sure how cursed energy works for sense-wise for a curse. Not sure if she can hear or see us.”
“Oh, she can hear us, isn’t that right princess?” that familiar third voice chimes in. It makes my spine stiffen, and I momentarily halt my writing. “See?”
I raise my pupils to glare at the mouth on Itadori’s cheek, and I throw him my pen. 
“Drive that into his mouth for me. That’ll shut him up.”
A stray thought crosses my mind — Sukuna is finally getting to see that ‘true form’ he had begged to lay eyes on. Although, right now I’m bloodied and disheveled.
“Oh, so moody,” Gojo purrs, peering at me over a pair of sunglasses. He has my car keys in his hand.
“Made me lose my focus,” I grumble, reaching for my keys. 
He pulls them away, up over my head. “Oh, you’re not driving. Not with that blood fest.”
I scowl, glancing down to my leg. “It’s already healing. It was bleeding much more earlier. It’s no longer dripping, and it just stings a little,” I hold out my hand, palm up. “Keys.”
“No,” he grins, folding the keys into his fist. “I think I’ll drive.”
“You just want to drive my sexy ass car.”
“You can finish your report on the way.”
“Over my dead body.”
“I think I can convince you,” he purrs, putting a hand on my hip.
I remain stone-faced. “No. You can’t.”
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I’m not entirely sure how we got here, but Gojo is driving.
My car seats five, but on top of Gojo and I, Nanami and the three students needed a ride back to campus. 
Therefore, the first-years are in the back and I’m up front on Nanami’s lap. Neither of us particularly mind, considering that we share a bond over hating work and he agreed to help me with the form.
“Why do they make these so cryptic?” I grumble, leaning against the door. “And why do they keep wanting to know what techniques I used? They know I won’t tell them.”
“When’s the last time you slept?” Nanami asks, looking over my shoulder at the paper.
“Sleep is for mortals.”
I feel an extra eye on me, followed by a parting of lips.
I whip my head around, giving Itadori my best glare. Him and the first years were in the middle of watching Nobara — sitting in the middle — play some game on her phone.
“Itadori,” I hiss, pointing to the eye and mouth on his cheek. “You shut him up before he says something I won’t like.”
Nobara presses a button on her phone, and the trio slowly looks up to me — to my eyes, which I’m sure are glowing now.
“Damn,” the ginger girl murmurs, giving me a quick once over. “You’re scary as shit.”
“For real,” Itadori squeaks, covering the half-face with a hand.
Fushiguro and Gojo snort, causing me to scowl and look to the latter. “What’s so funny?”
“The more a person knows you,” Gojo starts, tapping the wheel. “The less scary you look, and more… how do I put it… angsty, with a side of slightly grumpy old curse?”
I stare at him for a very long moment, deciding whether I want to let my car be collateral damage in the earth-shaking attack I wish to unleash.
“You’re so lucky we’re in this fucking car,” I breathe, taking a deep inhale and pushing it out through my clenched teeth as I turn back to the paperwork.
He shoots me a heart-fluttering smirk, eyes sparkling with amusement under his glasses.
“Why were you asking if I’d slept?” I ask Nanami, resuming my leaned-against-the-door stance.
“Because your handwriting is off. And you don’t typically ask so many form questions,” he replies, pointing to a particularly lopsided letter ‘j’.
“Huh.”
“She does need sleep,” Sukuna’s voice chimes in, as it nearly did earlier. “Or she’ll get grumpier and her mortal body will wear down like normal.”
I don’t look up from the line I’m writing, but I murmur under my breath. “Itadori, I told you to keep him quiet.”
“Sorry, I’m trying— I can’t find the mouth—“
“Stomach,” I murmur.
There’s a rustling of fabric, and then Itadori snorts a short laugh. “How’d you know that?”
“You should start to be able to pick up on where they spawn with time,” I deflect the question. “The skin tightens a bit, and you can sense where his soul’s energy has planted itself in order to make the mouth in the first place.”
“Yeah, Itadori,” Nobara mocks. “Sense it. It’s not that hard.”
I melt back into my work, hoping to get it done before we reach campus.
“How do you know so much about the mouth thing?” Itadori asks, leaning forward to stick his head between the two front seats.
“Because I was like you,” I raise a hand, showing him the back of my palm. I force a mouth to open there, and speak from it. “Possessed when I was fifteen, by a curse of my very own emotion.”
“Woah!” Itadori grabs my hand, looking at the mouth. I let it melt into my skin, slowly looking over at him from the papers. “Did you force that?” He asks, flipping my hand over again.
“Yes.”
“But you don’t switch personalities or anything? No voices in your head? Just you?”
“Indeed. I can work with you, if you’d like. It’s extremely doubtful that you’d end up merging with Sukuna, and for your sake, I hope you don’t. But I can show you how to access more of his energy,” I press my free hand to my abdomen, where Athalia’s energy resides for my usage. “With more fingers, you may start to access his techniques.”
He nods, leaning back into his seat.
“Focus on your work, so you don’t have to go overtime,” Nanami grumbles, nodding towards the clipboard on my lap.
I nod, working on my last report paragraph. “Does anyone wanna go shopping?” 
Nobara gasps, taking the place where Itadori just was between the front seats. “I’ll go! If you pay.”
“The academy pays. I need to get my uniform tailored anyway.” I finish my reports, tossing my clipboard onto the dashboard and turning on Nanami’s lap in order to face everyone properly. 
“You shopped this morning,” Gojo chuckles, but turns to get off the highway and head into town. 
“That was for getting my Sukuna job done. This is for having to swat a trio of special grades. Fushiguro, do you wanna grab two more Switch controllers from the GameStop on fifth ave?” I nod toward the two new first years. 
He nods, a grin flashing across his face. “Are you gonna show them who’s the boss?”
“Hell yeah. I call Princess Peach.”
Nobara’s eyebrows shoot up. “You play Mario Kart?”
“She’s excellent at it,” Gojo jumps in, pulling into a parking garage. “Even though I had to show her how to hard reset her phone yesterday.”
The students start laughing, and Nanami stifles something that I’m sure is a snicker. 
I groan, “Okay, well they changed it. I used to just hold the power button, and now it’s all up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start.”
“How can you remember that but forget that google exists half the time?” Fushiguro asks, completely straight faced.
I stare at him for a moment, then burst into laughter myself, dropping my head into my hand.
Gojo pulls the car into a spot and puts it in park. “Alright, everyone out.”
I climb off of Nanami’s lap, grabbing my sunglasses from the glovebox as I go. I shift down into my full human form, shuddering as my injured leg twists into shape. However, it heals with the transition, and I give it a little shake.
“You shouldn’t change forms when injured. It really grates on your cursed energy,” Sukuna adds, opening a mouth on Itadori’s neck once more.
I glare at Itadori for a very long moment, waiting for him to shut the Curse King up. The boy doesn’t seem to even notice the mouth, talking to the other students about homework or some mortal child shit.
When he doesn’t notice my stare, I huff, speaking to the extra mouth in an ancient tongue. “I’d rather not be literally invisible to normies while shopping. Also, you should keep your mouth shut.”
The mouth laughs, and that turns Itadori’s attention to me. He parts his lips, then glances down to the mouth on his neck, and covers it. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Like I said, it’ll get easier with time,” I slide my sunglasses on, pushing them up my nose. “For now, try to keep him from convincing me towards slitting your throat.” A feline grins breaks across my face, not considering that the boy is likely not used to my darker sense of humor.
Hands are on my waist before I can stop them, and I yell as Gojo hoists me up onto his shoulder.
“Gojo!” I shriek as he lifts me, gripping his hair once he’s settled me onto his shoulders. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Carrying you,” he smirks up at me, eyes glittering. “You shouldn’t walk on that leg.”
“I just healed it. Now, if you don’t mind,” I try to pull off of his shoulders, but his long fingers have wrapped around my ankles. “I’ll steal your technique.”
“No, you won’t,” he chirps, and starts walking out of the garage.
I accept my fate, grumbling to myself nonetheless. I close my eyes, allowing my mind to begin to slip away while we walk.
“Hey,” Nobara’s voice cuts into my thoughts, and I look down to her. “I’ve just realized something.”
“Hmm?” I adjust my sunglasses, idly running my fingers through Gojo’s hair.
“Why is it,” she starts, glancing between everyone in the group. “That he’s Fushiguro, he’s Itadori, he’s Gojo, he’s Nanami, but I’m Nobara? Why are you first-naming me?”
I open and close my mouth for a few moments, trying to come up with an answer.
“Hey, why do you call me Gojo?” the man under me asks, cocking his head to the side as he peers up at me. “Why not Satoru?” It’s not the first time he’s asked me this question.
“I’m usually Megumi to her,” Fushiguro adds, shrugging. “I don’t know why she’s gone back to Fushiguro.”
“Because I’ve been on this earth for a thousand trips around the sun,” I spit out an answer, scratching the back of my neck, “so I can call you people what I want. And I’ve known Megumi since he was tiny.”
“You’ve known us for a decade,” Gojo gestures between him and Nanami, pouting now. 
I pick at a speck of invisible lint on my shirt, avoiding eye contact.
“A decade isn’t very long, to us,” Sukuna jumps in. “You’re practically a child.”
Gojo glances up at me, a wide grin hitting his face. “Is that why it took eight and a half years to convince you to-“
I clamp a hand over his mouth, shaking my head in warning. Gojo had practically groveled at my feet since the day he met me, sliding innuendos and flirty lines to me every chance he got. He was fifteen when he started trying to get me in his bed, and I only relented after a particularly difficult curse mission three years ago, when he had helped me save a few student’s lives and the only favor he asked in return was to get a chance at pleasuring me.
As it turned out, he was very good at it. And I found myself going back for more.
And now, Gojo is my best friend. Who I fuck. Nothing more.
“And you’re still an arrogant little shit.”
The students break into laughter, Fushiguro straight up punching Gojo’s infinity barrier.
“Let’s shop,” I grin.
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Not thirty minutes later, I’m alone with Gojo. The students have gone off on their own, and Nanami got called to another mission, so Gojo and I are sitting in a coffee shop. 
Which is a little funny, because I don’t eat or drink like humans do.
Gojo sips at a coffee, his stunning blue eyes flicking around the room from behind his sunglasses. He observes everything: the barista, the window leading to the street, me, the book in my hands, my sunglasses, the slice of cake in front of him, back to me, to my shirt, to my hands, to my temporarily human ears, to the book—
“You keep looking at me,” I murmur, my own pupils remaining glued to the pages of this book I picked up. “Spit it out.”
He pulls his sunglasses off momentarily, greeting me with those sharp, turquoise eyes of his that damn near glow in the dim shop lighting. I catch his look in my peripheral vision, but the blurred angle is enough to tell exactly what he’s doing.
“Let me take you out.”
That gets my attention. My head jolts up from my book, promptly colliding with the wall behind me. I mutter a string of curses, raising my hand to cover the sore spot. “I think I misheard you,” I murmur, sparing a glance up at him.
His expression remains uncharacteristically serious, and he tilts his head slowly. “Go out with me.”
I sigh heavily, dropping my book with a thud. I cover my face with a hand. “I thought we were past this.”
“I stopped asking when I got you into my bed, because I thought that’s all I wanted,” he breathes, reaching out a hand to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “You completely ignored me for hours this morning. I’ve decided I don't like that.”
“So you ask me out?”
“You are the one thing I’ve never been able to have. Today, I realized that it drives me absolutely, utterly and irreversibly insane, and—“
“You’re not thinking clearly, Satoru,” I declare, interrupting him with a firm tone. I push his hand away from my face carefully. I rise, snatching my book and tucking it under my arm. “Today was a long day. You can take the kids back with the car.”
“You called me Satoru.” His hand catches my wrist before I can leave. He looks at me with those eyes, those damned eyes, and I fear that if I stay any longer, my firm resolve will simmer into nothingness. 
“I’m rejecting you,” I breathe. “Let me go.”
He does, and I leave him there with something like hurt staining his beautiful face.
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To be tagged on the next part, comment and ask!
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inkformyblood · 6 months
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a life known in patchwork (SubCody Week 23)
A very belated posting as I lost this in my docs! SubCody Week 2023 day 7 - cockwarming, hair cutting/shaving. Codywan, Tatooine Husbands. Minor hurt/comfort and past injury. Trans Obi-Wan.
Ben taps the binos against his hip before he raises them to his eyes, shielding the cracked plastic with his other hand. The world doesn’t bloom into sharp focus, it remains the same blurred distinction of rough shapes and patches of brown, yellow and darker brown but it’s enough for him to catch the steady movement of a single dark craft and its easy path upwards. 
He watches it until he can’t any longer, grief and the heat tearing him apart in equal measure. 
His perch atop the small hut isn’t the most secure and Ben knocks loose a cascade of stone as he slides down, judging the distance to not be that far. He’s wrong, as he’s finding he so often is recently, and his ankle throbs with every braced step back inside. He straightens before he knocks against the door — the same pattern every time whether it is against stone or wood or the back of Cody’s hand — and shifts his weight to something closer to equal, before he steps inside.
“How’s your ankle?” Cody asks, his dark eyes crinkling in amusement in the sweep of shadows across their kitchen table. Initially, Ben takes the parts scattered over their kitchen table to be blaster parts and something cold slips down his spine, but the thought is corrected in the next moment as Cody picks up a distorted coil and begins to try and smooth it back into compliance. 
“It’s fine.” Ben limps as delicately as he can, trying to project serenity as if he does this all the time. He manages to support himself against the low shelf that Cody has constructed into something closer to a kitchen than what Ben had been subsiding on before him. The kettle is old but still serviceable, much like them both. “The ship has left.”
“Oh?” Cody tries to keep his voice level and fails utterly. His reflection slumps for an instant before he straightens, his jaw clenched beneath the freshly grown beard. 
Ben nods, busying himself with two mugs. Picking up the small jar they use for caf, he peers into it, noting the visible bottom of it after their weeks of enforced isolation with the group of stormtroopers making a sweep of the planet. His tea had run out several days prior and it had only been strict rationing on Cody’s part that his caf had stretched out so long. “I watched the ship leave. Caf?”
“How much is left?”
Ben knocks the jar against his palm, trying to work some of the older mixture free. “Enough for a cup, my love. We’ll need to go into town soon.”
It is a strange measure of time that they have fallen into, doling out the days and weeks into scoops of caf or bowls of stew, torn between the need to keep supplies on hand and the equally urgent requirement to stay away from the town as much as possible. Cody’s face, as beautiful as he is, especially now when time has traced fine lines over the corners of his eyes and worry has been etched into his forehead, adding to the crop of grey sprinkled through his curls, is still one of the most recognisable in the galaxy and Ben doesn’t fare much better. 
He scratches through the fresh beard he’s grown over their last few weeks of isolation, relishing at the rasp beneath his nails, the grit that falls free at his touch. Sand is everywhere on this planet, it feels only right that he should carry some of it with him. “And a shave wouldn’t go amiss either, Cody love.”
Turning, Ben watches Cody like he watched the huddle of stormtroopers picking their way across a distant town, trying to pick out the welded-straight backs of the troopers he might recognise amongst the huddle of fresh soldiers that he would only recognise by the fevour in their eyes — too young, always too young and Ben had thought he had experienced every cruelty the universe could have inflicted upon him and then they sent children to try and tempt him to the slaughter. He doesn’t know if the other troopers are going grey beneath their helmets. He doesn’t know if any of them are still alive at all. 
But he knows Cody is alive. He knows Cody is here with him in all their fading glory in a life neither had thought of but hoped for a version of all the same. 
“You’re thinking too much.” Cody holds up a piece of the vaporater, peering through it with a frown. A delicate circle of light flickers over his face as the remnants of the storm claw out a final gasping breath. “Shave first or later?”
“First, my love. I’ve missed you too much to wait.” Ben nearly misses the catch of Cody’s breath beneath the hiss of the kettle as their scant water supply rolls into a boil, but the press of Cody’s hands to his hips — a touch so familiar that Ben knows it as well as his own hands — is impossible to miss. 
Cody’s hands don’t stay on Ben’s hips, one moving down over the front of his thigh while the other climbs higher, kneading into the soft muscle of Ben’s chest. “Missed me, my stars?” Cody mumbles, his nose pressed to the nape of Ben’s neck. “We’ve not spent a day apart in weeks.”
“Cody,” Ben sighs, relaxing into the other man’s touch. It isn’t purposeful, not truly, a casual exploration of places Cody already knows a thousand times over, and something twists in the base of Ben’s stomach, a clench and release in the promise of things to come. Ben tips his head back to the brace of Cody’s shoulder, ignoring the warning ache along the side of his neck that promised a limited scope of movement if he feels like pressing his luck for too long. Cody, ever a starving opportunist, kisses the crux of Ben’s neck, following it with a nip, a rasp over his fresh beard. 
“Cody,” Cody whispers, mimicking the guttural hum of Ben’s accent, rounding his vowels in the Stewjoni way. “Lost your words already, husband?”
“Not quite, my love.” Ben straightens with some difficulty, the urge to sink further back into Cody at the mention of their titles — husband, they’re husbands by every count that matters and Ben could love him for a thousand lifetimes and it still wouldn’t be an accurate measure. “Shave first.”
Cody snorts, doesn’t bother trying to hide his laughter as he inclines his head to the side. It’s more difficult to see on his darker skin but his intent is clear as he presses his fingers against the side of his neck, brushing over the rough patches of irritation, the singular bruise bitten into the hinge of his jaw. “Oh, so now we’re shaving first.” 
His thumb smooths over the jut of Ben’s hip, chasing the fold where his robes would have lain. “I can’t shave you.”
“I know.”
They had tried before, once in the early weeks when Cody was only still mostly himself, fraying at the edges and trying to hold himself together with nothing but gritted teeth and a knowledge what failing meant, but there had been moments that were harder than others and Ben, a towel thrown around his shoulders with soap on his cheeks and a razor in Cody’s hand had been too difficult to resist. The cut didn’t scar, Cody had smeared enough of their supply over it to make sure that it healed smooth and invisible, but they both knew it was there. They had tried again later, and again even later after that. 
“No more,” Cody had said after the last attempt, his teeth imprinted on his knuckles deep enough to bruise and seconds away from tearing straight through. He had been made to be efficient in all areas, after all. Ben picked up their mirror, the razor tucked between three numb fingers, the universe still crooning in the space behind his eyes, and nodded. 
“But I can shave you, love,” Ben says, sorrow layered so heavily in his chest that he can feel it shift as he breathes. He reaches for Cody’s hand, following the same path that Cody had taken and presses the pads of his fingers against the darker patch on Cody’s throat before he draws Cody’s hand to his mouth. He kisses the rough edges of Cody’s knuckles, tasting salt and the dull tang of oil. “Please?”
Cody’s face is grave, age having left more of an imprint over him than could ever have been measured by the lines on his face or the grey in his hair, but he nods, letting his eyes close for a moment. He steps away from Ben, letting his hands linger for as long as possible before releasing him and a shiver rolls up Ben’s spine, a heady mixture of longing and anticipation. He turns, bracing himself against the counter, all thoughts of their general day to day necessities now that the storm had subsided discarded in favour of watching Cody. 
In the dull light, Cody is glorious. He peels away the shirt he wears, roughly tugging it free when it catches on the jut of his shoulders, and Ben’s grip on the counter only tightens until his knuckles ache with the force of it. He isn’t the same as he was during the war, the sharp angles of his stomach softening into a gentle curve, the protrusion of his hips dimpling instead, and his stance sits a little wider now, accommodating the additional heft in his core. His body had initially been made for war, now it is made for living. There’s a dark trail of hair running over the blank stretch of his abdomen, a few loose hairs over his chest but the bulk travels downwards, directing Ben’s attention to the low slung waistband of his trousers. As if he needed more of an excuse to admire his beautiful husband. 
Cody folds his shirt, drawing the lines exact in the same places they always were and places it to one side, before beginning to tug on the cord of his trousers. Ben leans forward, a distant ringing in his ears, transfixed. When he’d been younger, when he’d been a different person entirely, affront braided together with a desire to find where his lax master’s boundaries had been just so he could cross them, he had snuck out and headed into the lower levels of Coruscant, searching for a rumor. The alleyway had been wide, a deep hollow carved through the press of the surrounding buildings and it had been awash with light spilling from thrown open doorways. Ben couldn’t recall the exact details, nerves and time smoothing over the edges until only an impression remained, but he remembered the need to stare, to drink in the press of bodies. A man had stretched out a hand towards him, cupping Obi-Wan’s cheek before he had moved away, and Ben call smell the scent of his perfume now, heady and rich.
“Going to join me, love?” Cody asks beneath the crosshatch of his lashes, impossibly dark and deliberate, his cheek indented where he’s chewing it. He shifts slightly, scuffing a heel across the floor. 
Ben clears his throat, feeling halfway ruined already. “I will, just… let me watch you first?”
Before, Ben’s knowing of Cody had been entirely patchwork, stolen moments here and there to build the foundation for a life together. He’d known the exact way Cody would kiss at the nape of his neck, his mouth hungry for any scrap of skin he could reach but halting at the junction of Obi-Wan’s collar, before he had seen the full expanse of Cody’s back and the constellation of freckles he wore. He’d known the sight of Cody between his legs, Obi-Wan’s thighs spread wide to accommodate the bulk of him, and exactly how Cody’s grip would ident his skin, his right grip steadier than his left, before he had known how Cody would segment his fresh fruit ration into an approximation of even portions before eating it, licking the pads of his fingers to follow the track of juice. He wants to know every piece of Cody, to love him completely. 
They have time, not as much as they could have, but they’ll make it enough, stretch it until it breaks.
Cody huffs out a low chuckle, ducking his chin as he tugs on the tie of his trousers, undoing the knot completely before beginning to loosen the waist. His thighs are wide, heavy-set with muscle and a ridged scar runs across the front, starting high beneath his right hip and continuing in a hauntingly familiar straight line to just above his left knee, still beautiful despite everything it means. Cody’s cock is proportional, soft along the line of his thigh, the same as everything else about him as Cody tends to point out with the same rueful grin he wears, hand on his hip for a moment before he braces himself on the table and kicks his trousers off. His socks stay on, an old worn set of Ben’s, worn at the toes and darned enough times that their original colour could be called into question.
“Beautiful, Codylove,” Ben breathes. He feels stretched too thin, torn between his fragmenting self control to keep himself fixed at this singular stable point and his desire to crowd his husband back against the table, to fall to his knees and worship. Cody wouldn’t thank him for the beard burn, however, and it’s that thought that makes Ben straighten and tear himself away, rummaging in the small cupboard above the sink for their supplies. The state of the sonic being what it was — primarily tiny and often broken in one way or another — it hadn’t been worth keeping an essentials in there. He lowers himself back onto his heels, briefly focused on the warning flare of pain from his ankle, and steadies himself once more. 
“Here.” Cody scoops the delicate bowl from Ben’s hands, the lather following to be tucked beneath his elbow. He hesitates over the razor for a heartbreaking instant, his face carefully blank before he picks it up as well. His grip is looser, pinching it between his thumb and forefinger, his arm rigid. He moves quickly, returning to the table and laying everything out, pausing to tap the handle to bring it back into alignment before he returns to Ben’s side.
His eyes are bright with amusement, a loose grin draped over his face. Ben glances downward, half-shuffling into Cody’s waiting embrace, running his hand over Cody’s waist, the curve of his hip, and the flex of his thigh, the muscle twitching at the light touch.
“I can make it over there myself.” It’s redundant to point it out given that they both know Cody’s made up his mind, filed the forms in triplicate and stamped everything as complete, but Ben still protests, out of habit more than anything.
Cody leans closer, slinging one arm across Ben’s back to stroke along the line of his hip. He’s warm in a way Ben craves, a lingering scent of salt from a hard day’s work and several weeks spent wrapped up in each other’s company moving with him, not unpleasant but merely there to be experienced. 
“I wanted to do this before,” Cody says, his voice as even as he can make it, levelled of any extra fat until it is exposed bone. “Couldn’t then, sir, so I’d like to now.”
Ben laughs, leaning down to kiss Cody, licking over the cracks on his lower lip. “By all means then, sweep me off my feet, Cody.”
Cody, his beloved darling Cody, does exactly that. Ben has a moment of unsteadiness, a flip in the pit of his stomach as he is lifted, and he clings to Cody, only just remembering to temper the bite of his nails in the same instance. This close, Ben is free to draw a trail of kisses over the ridged curve of the scar over Cody's brow before he is carefully deposited next to the chair. He wavers on his functioning ankle, still half-draped across Cody’s arms and he marvels at all the years they had missed out on this, on the closeness they can luxuriate in after everything else had been lost.
“If you sit, love,” Ben says. “Then I can straddle you while I work.”
It takes a moment for them both to get comfortable; Cody sitting on the chair, Ben’s tunic folded beneath him with his hands resting on Ben’s thighs, and Ben on top of him, carefully sliding Cody’s cock into him. He’s so full, the stretch coming quickly regardless of how many times they have done this or however wet Ben is. They have some lube left, a little bacta that they can repurpose if needed, but Ben breathes out slowly, his trousers tangled around his good ankle as he carefully sits down, sinking further. His breath is shaky, ragged, and he whines, high in the back of his throat as skin meets skin, and he relaxes onto Cody. Glancing upwards reveals the pale imprints on Cody’s lips from his teeth, one eye squeezed shut even as Cody watches him through lashes beaded with tears.
“There we go.” Ben flexes around Cody, squeezing down on the intrusion, and Cody buckles beneath him, his stomach drawn inwards and his heels rising from the floor as he resists the urge to thrust. The moment passes, they always do, and Cody opens his eyes carefully, approaching his minute study of Ben’s face as if he’s trying to burn his visage onto the backs of his eyes. “How are you feeling, love?”
“It’s still a little odd,” Cody sighs. He relaxes in fragments as if he’s moving down a checklist, the behaviour still learned rather than instinctual. His legs stay wide but the twitching in his thighs lessen as the urge to thrust his cock, still mostly soft, deeper inside Ben passes. Pleasure will come later, Ben will make sure of it, but fucking while shaving is too risky even for them. He can keep Cody close, can tap his heels against the legs of the chair to negate the wash of empty hissing static that comes with his legs spread wide and all of his weight resting at the crux of his thighs, he can do all of this for him. 
Ben reaches for the lather and the razor, and Cody bares his throat with a hum, his hands relaxing along the planes of Ben’s thighs at the quiet snick of the razor unfolding. It’s a poor imitation of what Ben can remember, constantly slightly too blunt to remove all of the hair on the first path, making Ben draw the razor over Cody’s skin far more times than he’d prefer. There’s a whisper of irritation running through the back of Ben’s mind, of blood and steel to try and slake the desert’s thirst, and every other mundane worry that had arisen with living this far away from anyone, especially with the dull pulse of pain in his ankle, but Ben sets all of them aside. Pleasure sparks low in his belly, fuelled as he shifts as he works, the same heady concoction that command had given him when Ben had first held Cody’s hand in his, the dirt of whatever planet still covering them both and said, “Good work, Commander.”
Cody, his wonderful beautiful Cody, had nodded, the very picture of professionalism, but Ben felt his grip tighten for an instant, the Force suddenly awash with a burgeoning sunset and he had known that he was never going to let Cody go, not really. They’d been apart for so long but never separated. 
“You’re doing so well for me, love,” Ben murmurs, his chest heaving as he pulls in a breath scented with a dull smokiness and the ever-present tang of salt, concentration robbing him of every other impulse. Inside him, Cody’s cock twiches, beginning to harden in response to Ben’s words. Sometimes, he doesn’t and Ben would draw Cody’s hands to his clit and gasp out his release beneath his husband’s clever hands, his cock still soft inside him, before Ben would swallow Cody down, pressing a finger inside him until Cody would spill, a quiet gasp as telling as a shout. But this is not one of those times. 
Turning Cody’s head to the side, Ben presses his thumb into the side of Cody’s jaw, just beneath his ear. He follows the motion with the razor, beginning to clear the dark hair from his face. It’s a quiet meditation, punctuated by the gentle rasp of the razor and Ben’s murmured praise as the light outside bleeds beige then gold, and darkens. Inch by inch, beneath the gently fragrant soap and careful attention, Cody becomes visible. He’s still mostly soft inside Ben, his breathing a sweep along the curved expanse of his belly, and his eyes are half-lidded, a single fragment of light catching on the blown-wide expanse of his pupils. He’ll follow any order that Ben gives him and it’s a heady realisation, making Ben clench around the intrusion, feeling himself begin to leak freely. His tunic will be soaked through by the end of this, he realises, his body acting as an oasis even if his fluid intake is scarce. Ben sweeps the razor over the final patch of hair, clearing Cody’s face completely, and leans back to take him in.
“Good, Cody. Very good.” Ben pauses, reaching around Cody to deposit the razor back on the table, carefully retracted once more, and he begins to tighten the lid onto their small container of lather. He can keep his own beard for slightly longer, tending to Cody is both more important and what he wants to do. “I do think you would look ravishing with a moustache.”
“That’s why I can’t, love.” Cody’s voice is mock-grave, coming from somewhere within the depth of his chest and catching on every broken bone on the way up, rasping along with the even timbre of his breath. “I would be too attractive and I would never get any work done with you in my lap all day. That’s not even considering the planet at large.”
“You would be nothing but a distraction, my dear. I would have competitors trying to steal you away from me constantly, not just whenever we go to market.” Ben rolls his hips, testing out the angle like this, pressed against Cody with all of his composure knotted in the muscles of his thighs. He can’t rise and fall like he would need to if he was wanting to draw this out, but that isn’t on the cards. They do have to go into town at some point that day if he didn’t want to resort to brewing their morning caf out of the tin directly. It left an unpleasant aftertaste after a few minutes.
“Wouldn’t go with them.” Cody groans. He pitches forward, pressing his forehead into the curve of Ben’s shoulder. His skin is freshly smooth, strangely cool as he shifts to mouth at Ben’s collarbone. He’s hardening quickly, filling out and reaching deeper, his cock gloriously made to bring Ben every scrap of pleasure with the same devotion that Cody does. He loves him fiercely, every piece of him. 
“No?” Ben’s hips roll in an easy rhythm, chasing the crest he knows is about to wash over them both. He’s mostly cut-off from the Force but he would have to be a fool to not be able to ratchet the tightness in his belly tighter, sweat beginning to bead in his hairline as he moves, Cody’s hands solid and grasping on his thighs, his nails leaving behind perfect indentations. The marks wouldn’t last long, longer than they would have done, but time would wash away everything eventually. 
Cody’s teeth press against the line of his throat, smooth skin against the rasp of Ben’s beard and Cody gasps, his hips stuttering in an aborted thrust. “No, just you, only you, Ben, Obi-Wan, please!”
Ben sinks down as much as he’s able, widening his stance utterly so he’s suspended entirely on Cody’s cock, and Cody spills with a shout, muffling the fractured end in Ben’s throat. Ben reaches down between them, frantically thumbing over his clit, and Cody reaches over to join him, his thumb broad and practiced, and Ben comes, his toes curling until they cramp. 
They wait, breathing heavily, Cody’s teeth lodged in Ben’s throat for a moment longer before he retreats. Cody frowns, reaching up to rub at his cheek. “Your beard itches, love.”
Ben breaks into laughter, Cody following him shortly. It’s a strange life that they built together, but it’s theirs, completely and utterly. 
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goodluckclove · 3 months
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An Interview Series
Stop One: The Patchwork Fields with @mushroommanchanterelle
i've decided to start a new series where i interview my colleagues and other lesser-known writers of tumblr. in each stop of my virtual travels, the writer will pick the location and soundtrack for our conversation. this was a really good conversation with @mushroommanchanterelle, where we discussed a little bit about diversity and representation in the world of the disabled writer. join me below and get some insight about the fledgling brilliance our community has to offer!
Now Playing: Slime Rancher 2 OST
“Steps of clear quartz ascend through inky void, the indigo darkness broken only by speckles of warm, yellow light. The staircase of near invisible steps seems to last an eternity, leading to a land mass afloat in the cold sea of stars. Now visible at the final step is a gate, tall and looming, made seemingly of ice cold cast iron. Through the bars, there are vast and rolling hills, colorful and bright. The gates open, revealing the landscape in full.
Taking steps in, the chill in the air is dulled by the warmth of the ground, radiating through the feet and permeating the soul. In place of grass, the ground is covered in the soft fabric of an enormous quilt, spreading as far as the eye can see. Barren trees dot the landscape, pillows settled at their roots, illuminating the landscape with jars of luminous moss tied to their branches by unknown creatures. Their yellow glow matches that of the stars above, giving off golden radiance only rivaled by the morning rays of fresh sunshine. The air smells of rain and fresh linen.”
It is soft. It is safe.
where are we?
Ash: The Patchwork Fields.
can you explain what that is?
Ash: It's a place I go to in my head whenever I need to center myself. It's not a place in anything I've written, or at least not yet. The Patchwork Fields are supposed to be really calming. Like...being nestled under a blanket fort reading a book with a flashlight on a cold winters night. They're a series of floating islands amidst a night sky, with quartz steps acting as a pathway between them. that sounds nice.
i'm honored to be here with you today. do you think you could start by introducing yourself in whatever way you feel comfortable with? maybe saying any qualifiers or communities you identify with?
Ash: I'm really happy to be here with you today as well. My name is Ash, but my current screen name is mushroommanchanterelle. I'm a self taught artist, a writer, a poet, and am just a few months shy of having a bachelor's in English.
this is legitimately the first time i’m learning your name! what a delight. so we've been talking for some time now about your project Fault Lines. It's how i actually was first drawn to your work as an artist on tumblr. do you think you could talk a little bit about the premise? i know that's a hefty task for a writer.
Ash: Ah yeah. I always draw a blank whenever I'm asked about the premise. I'll do my best! Fault Lines is a fantasy novel that's been manhandled into science fantasy. It revolves around Magnus Experah, Ruth Pothec, Theodorre Ursana, and Advent Natura as they find their way through an energy crisis that's slowly shutting down their society.
i specifically wanted to talk about magnus as a character if you don't mind. i'm very fascinated my them and their development. i actually wanted to interview you first in this new series because you made a comment saying you were particularly attached to them because of wanting to write a depiction of a disability you both share. would you feel comfortable talking about that?
Ash: Right. Shortly after the main plot is announced, Magnus develops a condition known as PNES, or psychogenic non-epileptic seizures. It's a conversion disorder that causes seizures, as the name suggests. They're triggered by stress, and you're completely awake and aware when they happen, but because there isn't anything physically happening in the brain like an epileptic seizure, there isn't any medication that can help. It's managed through therapy and thought exercises. Of course, there's medication that can help things like anxiety that exacerbates the condition, but there isn't anything you can take for the seizures themselves.
i've done a little research into PNES, which i'm sure you have too. i'm sure it's probably as disheartening to read the statistics as it is for me when i research conditions i've been diagnosed with. from what i gathered it seems like a great example of an "invisible illness". i read that upwards of 40% of adult patients considered to have drug-resistent epilepsy actually suffer from it. can you share a little bit about your history with PNES?
Ash: I developed it in 2018 when I was attempting to work full time and go to school full time, but I had been having nervous ticks for years before then. I started having them every minute at first, and after a few months they started calming down to every few minutes, then every hour or so. Lately, they only happen when I'm out in public or doing something stressful at home. Loud noises, crowds, and some smells trigger them, so I have to be careful where I go. Through various treatments and therapy, I've managed to reduce them enough to where I no longer need a wheelchair, but I still can't be in areas with horns, alarms, yelling, etc.
so it's a common experience for artists with some form of born or hereditary neurodivergence to have that unique perspective alter the themes, motifs, and sometimes even color and shape of the work they do in the case of visual artists. there's the near word salad of philip k. dick in the midst of his bouts of psychosis, or the warped cats of louis wain after a head injury triggered schizophrenia. even, on a lesser scale, there is the way neurodivergence affected the works of poets sylvia plath, anne sexton, and even shel silverstein. do you think the same could be said about psychogenic illnesses? how much of your living with PNES can be seen in what you create - and the way you create?
Ash: I've definitely heard that before, and I've seen it in the work of some of my friends. Since I developed PNES I've been making an effort to make more of my characters live successfully with various disabilities, Magnus included. After having been bedridden and in a wheelchair for years, I pay more attention to mobility devices and their functions. I think there are other things going on in my life that affect my creations more than my PNES though.
can you tell me more?
Ash: It's a bit hard to explain. I put a piece of my soul into each character I write. I'm autistic, I have PTSD, and I have borderline personality disorder. As a result, some of my characters struggle with expressing themselves and understanding others, or are blunt and don't understand social cues. Some of them struggle with looking too deeply into patterns. A lot of them have struggles that pertain to black and white thinking, where they struggle to keep friends and loved ones around after big fights. I suppose the old saying that you "write what you know" is true in that extent. Characters are the thing I think I spend the most time on, and little pieces of who I am show in each and every person I write into existence. That isn't to say that I agree with all of their motives, or that all of them are self inserts. I just write from my own experiences and make characters the way I know how to feel and talk and see the world.
do you think as neurodivergent and disabled writers, we have a certain duty or obligation to fit representation into a standard of some kind? do you feel the need to label experiences in terms anyone can look up and understand, like by directly referring to a character as autistic, or would you rather just allow your experiences and perspective to exist through your work in a way that's left for anyone to interpret and relate to?
Ash: I've got a lot of thoughts on this one. I definitely don't think anyone has a single obligation to fit ANYTHING into a standard. Everyone's experience is different. Everyone solves problems a different way. I don't think that you HAVE to label your characters in any capacity if you don't want to. I think representation is important, and characters that are explicitly stated to be neurodivergent, disabled, queer, etc. need to exist in media of all types.
It's good to have labels on some characters for folks to learn about the different aspects of life that aren't heterosexual, cis, neurotypical, or able-bodied, and for the groups being represented to have someone to identify with, but I don't think that every character who displays characteristics of being neurodivergent or disabled or queer or any other group have to have a defined label. That being said, I don't tend to label my characters as anything unless it's going to be a core element of a story. Magnus has a PNES diagnosis in story because I've never seen PNES discussed in fiction, and that's something I want to see change, but other characters of mine aren't outright stated to have autism because that's not the focal point of their story.
has your perspective towards neurodivergence has shifted do to your age? i think we're both in our mid to late 20s – but then again, i didn't know your actual name until just now so i could be wrong. either way, is the sort of optimistic perspective of characters living successfully with disabilities (what you described earlier as your goal in Fault Lines) something you could've wrote in an earlier time in your life?
Ash: I'm in my mid 20s, yeah. My perspective towards neurodivergence has shifted after being diagnosed and treated properly. There was a time in my youth that I only wrote my neurodivergent characters suffering because that's what I was living with. I couldn't write what I'm writing today back then, because I was convinced that being neurodivergent and disabled was being doomed ot a life of misery and bitterness. However, with time and therapy and proper medications, I've experienced that you CAN live successfully with a disability, and that being neurodivergent isn't a sentence to being miserable your entire life. I now write stories about successfully living with disabilities in my mid 20s because I could have benefited from reading those stories when I was young and getting my first diagnosis.
i like that. if you could see that person in your mind, who only saw their conditions as a sort of curse or sin, what would you say to them?
Ash: I'd give them a hug and tell them that it gets better. Once you're in control of your own life and medical choices, it gets better. Once you can get help without being afraid of what you have to say, life opens up and the clouds part and you're HAPPY.
beautiful. so that's all of the questions i have, and i think that's a great bow to kind of tie all of this together. do you think you could take this time to share some of your hopes in joining the community here on tumblr? maybe say how people here can best support you?
Ash: Thank you very much for interviewing me. I think I'm just grateful to have a place where we can collectively share our thoughts on writing. It's like...a really big refrigerator that we can pin our work up proudly for other people to see. There are so many creative stories and styles and characters that are all collected in one tag and I think that's wonderful. I hope to be able to add to that collective wealth of literature one day along side the rest of you.
thank you so much to ash for allowing me to pick their brain! they've been such a kind and fascinating person to interact with since i've known them, and i highly encourage you all to follow them as they develop their current novel. stay tuned as i catch the next internet train out of the patchwork fields and onto my next destination!
next stop
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the-lonely-crow · 8 months
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Alice + Sam :)
Obviously subject to change but also i think it would be very funny if i just kept the same design that i decided on after hearing 2 episodes. (Not even that many for Sam i made his design after hearing the trailer only)
[Image ID: digital drawings of Alice and Sam from the Magnus Protocol. Sam is a thin brown man with fluffy dark brown hair, and sparse facial hair. He wears a white button down, yellow tie with red squiggly line design, red patchwork slightly oversized cardigan, slim cut blue jeans, and yellow converse. Alice is a stocky woman with lightly tanned skin, light reddish brown hair with dark rots, and a smile with a slight gap between her two front teeth. She wears a deep purple turtle neck sweater, light wash denim jacket, and slightly baggy jeans with purple and red patches as well as dark brown combat boots. She has two earrings in each ear, two necklaces (one with a moon pendant and one with a golden brown crystal) and several rings. /End ID]
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spectralsleuth · 1 year
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Candling
(A short preview for the post-movie/apocalypse fix-it fic I'm working on! As a consolation to all the 'Portal Panic' readers, since I'm putting it on hiatus! Love all you guys, I hope you end up enjoying what I come up with. This is WIP, obviously. The working title is 'FLIPSIDE'.)
“Leo, I swear to Gram-Gram, if you do not sit your ass down I will sit it down for you.” Raph threatened, from his seat at Donnie’s medical table. He wasn’t wearing anything but his patchwork canvas pants, red haramaki, and tattered mask. Sitting as he was, tail curled down and off of the industrial strength steel, Raph’s slightly stooped head still almost brushed against the vaulted ceiling, which was studded with rods of sunny yellow chemical lights and inactive bulbs of emergency lighting.
The lab stretched out an impressive distance, as long as a football field and shaped like the inside of a military hangar with its peaked roof, and thickly cabled bridge cranes stretching wall to wall down the length like the ribs of some dying carcass. Electricity hummed everywhere, even within the solid rock walls to either side, which were honeycombed with outgoing connections and wrist-thick cables going to every corner and cranny of the resistance base.
Donnie himself mostly used the front half of the lab, only retreating to the further wide open shop spaces when things needed to be fabricated, or repaired in one whole mass. Right now the back half of the lab was mostly empty- outside of a rack of plant growing projects thriving quietly under the light of a massive UV lamp, and a semi submersible all terrain vehicle that had been made useless by the drying of the oceans four weeks and two battles ago.
Leo held his hands up defensively at Raph’s growling, finally taking a seat on one of the rolling chairs, his feet tapping restlessly from the back heel all the way up to the knee, in an unreadable rhythm. “Yeesh, sorry. I’m just uh.” He scratched under his mask, over one of the double red stripes lining one cheek. “Nervous? I guess?”
“We’re all nervous.” Raph grumbled, shifting to pull a knee up, and brace himself with one heavily taloned hand. “But you pacing and making a mess of Donnie’s lab ain’t gonna help matters any. You’d think one a you idiots was the one having an egg.”
Mikey was hovering peaceably over their heads, swimming as gracefully through the air as any fish through water. It wasn’t always possible for him to fly so easily; but the thought of the day ahead, and the appointment they were all meeting for, had Mikey’s thoughts so happy and light that floating was easier than not at the moment. Leo was half tempted to tie a string to his ankle, and keep him from finding and floating his way up through the exhaust pipes and to the apocalypse-torn surface.
“Raph, one more time. Please.” Mikey asked sweetly, upside down and cape dangling enough that Raph was trying to snort it away from his face in annoyance, like a bull with a fly. “Just let me touch it, I know I can get something from it. My little nibling wants to tell me, we don’t need Donnie’s nasty ole camera-”
“Shut it Mikey; and keep your glowing little paws to yourself.” Raph pushed Mikey away with a hand that engulfed his entire head, and sent him bobbing away across the lab, affront written across his upside down face.
Mikey rumbled indignantly, like a small dog with a bone- and as he did, April, Donnie, and Casey entered the lab.
“WHERE’S MY SON?” Casey demanded, stomping in and giving Mikey’s head a shove as well. It was forceful enough to send him gently spinning back towards his brothers, cape dangling and tilting slightly on his axis.
“Ya don’t know it’s gonna be a boy.” Raph protested, as Leo rolled his chair quickly out of Casey’s way. “It could be a girl! Oh. A little girl turtle…” Raph started to look dewy eyed at the thought, and Casey made a retching noise.
“Don’t be gross! A mother always knows.” She said loftily, moving between Raph’s knees to crowd into the space there. There was plenty of room- even with the egg cradled carefully in one hand, balanced between his knees like a precious jewel, Raph could have fit five more Casey’s in the space she occupied.
Casey leaned up on her top toes and Raph obligingly tilted down to meet her, pressing a toothy kiss to her mouth.
“Now let me see him before one of these morons drops him.”
“Scoff. If you’re that worried about someone dropping it you should have let me make the prosthesis like I planned-“
“You’re not putting my baby in a robot, Donnie.” Raph warned easily, as Casey bundled the egg into her arms with feral eagerness. It was about eight inches across, perfectly round, and colored a delicate creamy yellow that was the same shade as the pinstripe lines on Leo’s throat and chin.
Leo was insufferable about it, even if he was too scared to hold the egg.
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strawbabbies · 4 months
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“You’ve been looking for me,” N said quietly. Touko could have laughed. “For two years now, yeah.” “Why?” he asked. She stared at her calloused fingers. At some point, a yellow bruise had bloomed on her thigh. Five long streaks of mud lined her dress where she had wiped her hand. Answers to his simple question bubbled to the surface of her mind, but they all felt after-the-fact—reflective of the person she was now, not the person she was when she first set out. What answer would do justice to the Touko who had launched into the sky on the back of the white dragon now sitting across the riverbed?
A Patchwork of Yourself by nyla
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