#(shakes you) AM I A BAD PERSON?????
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
STOP DRAWING USOPP WITH PALE SKIN!!!!!
STOP DRAWING USOPP WITH WAVY HAIR!!!!!
AND FOR GOD’S SAKE STOP WITH THE MINSTREL LIPS!!!!!
#‘i love usopp!’ they say and proceed to draw him Wrong#if you think this is about you yes it is#one piece#usopp#sniper god usopp#op usopp#sogeking#i’m shaking with rage bro its every damn day#i don’t care for any excuses at this point i do not care#idc if you’ve never seen a black person irl there is no excuse to post whitewashed art on the same internet with info about why its BAD#‘drawing black people is hard’ KILL YOURSELF#coming into your house and beating you with a metal bat FUCKKKKKK YOU#how many fucking times do fans need to say this#i’ve made multiple posts like this in my 2ish years of being in this fandom i’m so sick and tired#this shit is exhausting i am so so so SICK of y’all#GODDDDDDD#you don’t deserve usopp if you won’t draw him properly FUCK YOUUUUUY
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
DnD is so fun we made friends with a vampire-adjacent drow and fantasy doordashed him blood soup via bat after disturbing him and his undead cat named Fang (!) on a deserted island in a spooky castle
#vampires#vampires official speaks#vampire media#dnd#dnd 5e#we're getting into the thick of the vampire lore and I for one am very excited#i named the cat btw :) truly a 'why are you talking to this npc what is happening' moment for our dm lol so i got to help with that one#chill dude all things considered 10/10 we want to find a way to keep sending him blood soup from various (ethical) sources#he dislikes the vampire we had a run in with before and half of what the other vampires are doing love him (first vampire was a bad father)#I'm leaning on him being a dhampir personally b/c he was out in thd sun and based on ibsight his vampiric traits weren't super strong but#we'll see how it shakes out#*insight#he told us we should leave the island and considering the like; dozen skeletons we found on the island fair#but yeah I'd die for him
21 notes
·
View notes
Note
can u give one of the cast bpd 🙏 (referencing how u drew ragatha with ocd a few times)
i could!!! but i think itd be QUITE a bit different, a lot of how i write ragatha having ocd is me drawing very directly from personal experiences, and i dont have bpd so i dont imagine it would be nearly as personal or indepth- im obviously not opposed to giving characters things i dont have myself, but it likely wouldnt be as detailed, though if you have a more specific concept you were interested i could try my hand at drawing it out or smth!!!
#ask#i think id want to do more research cus a lot of stuff abt ocd i know extremely innately but i dont know if itd be appropriate#for me to wing a character w smth i dont personally have if that makes sense!!!#this all said i HAVE seen bpd ragatha quite a bit and i am shaking the hand of ppl who hc her w it....#i hope this doesnt sound like im opposed to writing that#i just am not sure itll feel quite the same as my ragatha ocd post ssince the context is quite different#and i dont want to give a character an already very marginalized disorder just on a whim! its smth id want to think on more#and not smth id want to arbitrarily assign to a character-#esp given that my giving ragatha and pomni ocd had to do w me personally relating to certain aspects of them and building on that#rather than smth i particularly sought out giving to them!!!#though doing so is obviously not inherently bad! its nice to imagine characters having smth you have#anyway im sorry if this wasnt quite the answer you were hoping for!!!#lmk if i misunderstood what you were wanting!!!
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't think I've ever been this reluctant to teach Sunday School in my life, and that's probably because a) I was so burned out by constant and frequent involvement in ministry from my previous church and I'm not over it, a year later, or b) I feel pressured into it. which is bizarre, because it's not like the pastor told me to volunteer. He just asked me three times, because he knew I had leadership experience in ministry, and said they needed people. which. How am I supposed to say no when you tell me there's a need.
#i really really dont want to be involved in children's ministry right now and clearly i am really bad at saying no even when im personally#exhausted in so many ways and in so many areas#it is really hard to shake that 'oh i will volunteer for the x thing you need volunteers for even though im struggling a bit and work mysel#to the bone because that's what i should do' mentality that had me burnt out in the first place#reluctant perhaps is not the best word. cranky. resentful even.#i am so happy to serve in other areas i am just so tired and i dont even know WHY i am so reluctant to teach sunday school
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
The problem with any "Which RLM member would be best at XYZ" poll is that a lot of people will just choose whoever they like the most/find the most fuckable without actually considering their individual interests and personalities. Mike is famously an anxious mess around strangers and when he's not he's going to be a bit of a dickhead because you're not Rich Evans. Jay simply does not have the queening out temperament. They would NOT diva out to Cher with you.
#there are very few of those kinds of polls where I would earnestly choose Jay over Rich/Jack/Josh and I am a Jaygirl to the extreme#be honest with yourselves#this is why so many of the x reader fics are so bad. you value the perfect fantasy over their actual personalities. shaking my head!!! 😔#rlm
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok i havent played usum in ages and i never got this cutscene myself. but iirc a month after you complete the game a special cutscene appears in aether paradise where lusamine is able to bid goodbye to mohn and get some closure on that
i want something like that for a bw remake. after a month in the castle, n realizes hey actually this sucks. if i want to find my friend i have to do more than just sit around and hope they find me. so you the player take him to find cheren and bianca for help, both making friends with them and rekindling their own friendship.
#clai speaks#bc why tf arent you people communicating with your friends in the Friendship Franchise#i am shaking n bianca and cheren by the shoulders. communicate!!! why are you all alone now!!!!! thats not what first protag fought for!!!!#second protag needs more screentime with n too i think. they just feel like. an observer ig? if that makes sense?#like the entire game you hear about this super significant person that is N. he's like a myth. something far beyond second protag#it feels like you're in first protags shadow. you're just cleaning up what they left behind#you the player see bianca and cheren as your old friends but. they're not second protags friends. not in the way they were to the first#first protag had a purpose. they saw n. who needed help. and took down plasma for him and the sake of unova#second protag isnt really given the same direction? at least to me it didnt feel the same way#ok what i'm trying to say is that it doesnt feel as Personally motivated. first protag had n but second has. hugh ig?#but honestly hugh's situation is not as bad as n's. and hugh could handle himself as well. n was Trapped and would never escape on his own#you the player have motivations due to the context of the first game but like. second protag is just a guy who got dragged in
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#ooooof me when i am never the first choice#me when i am never the one someone is really into#me when i get very attached even tho i didn't wanna date him bc he's too young for me#me when now abandonment issues are rearing their head#me when it's literally not his fault at all but now i feel so so bad lol#ooooooof me when i'm gonna cry about it lmaooooo#this is so dumb#no more b you guys he has Met Someone#we were literally never gonna be together like i didn't want to#but he was the first person i was with after f and like#god i do be feeling abandoned and like i'm only good until the next best thing comes along#woof#why am i SHAKING. this is so dumb#why do i get so attached to people#i'm 24 this is teenager behaviour#maybe back to bed#vent
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi there, how are you doing?? I know I was thinking about Luigi's family and how close they seems to be. Like, his sister solo art show was at the Highlandtown Gallery in Baltimore that belong to their aunt. His mother was helping with the 10th aniversary of that same art gallery last year. They all must be devasted and the midia creating lies is not helping!!
the media has of course done a very good job at not only tarnishing his name, but also anybody's related to him. hopefully he walks free and things get better.
#also when this ask was sent in yesterday#around this time#i had reblogged that gif of him smiling and shaking hands after his arraignment#and i was acting like a thirteen year old schoolgirl with a crush#i mean he is goddamn cute but oh my lord#after seeing this ask my only reaction was#if he dies for all this i'll get sent to hell when i die#which is a very funny reaction coming from me because#i am not a religious person and the religion i was brought up in doesn't even have the concepts of heaven and hell and sin#i don't even follow any abrahamic religion and i'm an agnostic in my beliefs#so for me to immediately jump to i'll be going to hell for this is certain a stretch#also like wtf but y'know things are very bad and my conscience isn't letting me be#also thanks for asking me how i am#you're very friendly anon :)#wish all anons were more like you#asks
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
yay yippee yay :3 🎉
#just me hi#making things i will never ever show to anybody: 💫💫💥💫💫 pfshvbh#you know when you personal-art so hard it could literally be nuclear if anybody saw it. Yeagh kfhsvhjgs#:3 ehehehe [<- pleased]#i love you writing + art combo. i Am giving you a very deep grave though i won't lie <3#//anyway thought i was gonna get flamed today cuz i wouldn't let my mom look at some doobles i had in my sketchbook lmfsvhghs#gay 😔#but we just went out for snacks and she was just talking about a lot of random stuff lol :) chilling comes out on top yet again 👍💥#//anyway i gotta do some studies ᴗ.ᴗ [<- the urge to do it and the desire to Never Ever]#wanna get better at anatomy :/ and shading lmao :/ [<- does not want to do it so bad]#and also backgrounds :// but one step at a time man i don't know what a lighting is lfmvshj#shaking myself by the shoulders like you are GOING to enjoy it at some point it's not the end of enjoyment forever !!#me n mine are going to argue back and forth about it until i finally get it done so [tosses hands in the air]#hopefully i get to it today :) i haven't been trying to do timelapses this past year but maybe i'll do that when i get around to it :>#getting the funk out of the Lagoons means i realized i have been dropping a lot of things i thought were neat over time and i'm tryna pick#them back up lol :3#downside is that where i was dropping things i was picking up anxiety which is Really Cool and Epic#the Most counterintuitive function of the brain i think. doing their best but man it's like putting a rat in a room made of cheese while#it's pouring rain outside and expecting it not to start chowing down lmaoo#//anyway yea!! my things :33#kinda Do want to do studies now Yippee !!! i win yet again ehe >:3#so toodles ciao pop toodles >wó
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
You don't miss me at all.
#and you never will again.#im nothing to you anymore#just a discarded piece of trash#i have no value#i am pathetic#and diagusting#i am unlovable#and alone#i dont see me wanting a place in this world anymore#i have such bad shakes and anxiety#i just#want it to stop#i want to stop feeling things so much and so excruciatingly#i have nwvwr been loved#i will never be loved#the only person i wanted to ever love me was you#you were the only person i cared about ollie#im sorry i couldnt be who you wanted#i tried#im sorry#i just wanted you to love me#mine
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Using my brain like a metal detector to figure out what the FUCK it wants to do
#*shakes brain* what do you want??? food isnt working acnh isnt working weaving isnt working#im gonna fucking riot#im understimulated but just listening to a video feels OVERstimulating#i get bored & tired two minutes after starting a thing#but i want to do SOMETHING#i was in bed almost all day yesterday b/c i couldnt get myself to do anything else for more than. like. an hour at a time#or maybe less (it felt like less anyway)#i do NOT want to do that again#if my new meds dont do anything to help istg (im not gonna do anything im just gonna be upset)#depressions a bitch and i hate it!!!#im tired but i got a good amount of sleep the past few nights so its not from that??? i know its the Mental Illness but. still#i do NOT want to just take a NAP all DAY i want to DO things when im OFF from WORK#is this what it was like pre-meds??? b/c if so HOW#i legitimately dont remember#personal#jay rambles#mental health cw#depression cw#im. so fucking tired of this shit if the new meds do the thing where it makes things worse for the first few weeks#im still not gonna do anything im just gonna be upset about it. and there's a real chance i wont be able to work full hours#which i cant afford atm#i MADE SURE i had enough food for lung and i havent had half of it b/c i started and my brain went “mm no you're full actually”#(i very distinctly am NOT full. but now it has a bad Mouth Feel and im going insane)#(gonna try knitting next to see if that works)#food mention
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
there is a whole genre of complaining customer where it's so clear that in their head they are a Crusading Revolutionary who is going to Demand Better from the System™️ when actually what they want is to verbally abuse someone who can't fight back bc it makes them feel better
#talking#like when i offer multiple times to escalate your complaint to Someone Who Could Actually Do Something and you refuse#it is extremely transparent what you actually want. and it isnt to fix whatever you're yelling about. it is to yell#like people feel powerless in other areas of their life so they use the customer service dynamic#to manufacture and then immediately abuse some power#while also doing mental gymnastics to get to feel like a beleaguered mistreated hero of the people#and understanding this does not make it any less fight or flight body disintegrating bad when it happens#like I Know Your Game and that you are a bad person but unfortunately person yell = i am shaking
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
The truth is, sometimes there is no watsonian answer.
Lets say for a moment a character is established to hate the color green. Then in one scene we see them wearing a green scarf. This is never mentioned or explained. It can be fun to come up with watsonian (in universe) explanations for this behavior. Maybe he got it from this other character who loves green, or maybe he changed his mind. But when those explanations actually directly contradict what happens on screen, then there is a problem. Lets say it is impossible for him to have met this other character and gotten a gift, or he mentions his hatred for green again two episodes later meaning it is impossible for him to have changed his mind.
Now your fun watsonian headcanon instead of adding meaning actively detracts meaning. Now it makes the story worse not better. Now the story stops making any amount of sense because you insist on calling attention to something the creators never wanted you to. This can be fun for AUs and headcanons, please keep with it! But it is a shit basis for shit literary analysis.
The truth is, sometimes his scarf is green because that is what the costumer designers had on hand. The truth is, sometimes there is no watsonian answer.
#Watsonian analysis that refuses to engage with doylist analysis will ALWAYS be a shit form of literary analysis.#Yeah you heard me right. ALWAYS.#Because the truth is they are FICTIONAL and the place we are doing our analysis is the REAL world and that fact is always going to matter.#The actual value of watsonian analysis is pretty fucking low in my opinion.#Don't get me wrong they are fun and I love them! I have enough of them I myself use as headcanons.#But the people who concentrate on them so much they forget that this is a show written by real people...#When you keep concentrating stuff the author doesn't care about you miss the big picture.#The thing the author is actually trying to say.#And that is a damn shame because often authors have important shit to say.#And even when they don't works can still have meaning without moral.#I wonder if anyone can guess what this post is about.#I am not that subtle but also I just blocked the person rather than engage with their shit bad faith discussion.#Which while always the correct response is also an annoying one.#shakes fist#your bad faith bullshit makes fandom not fun!!!#my thoughts#my posts
24 notes
·
View notes