#(or put it on as a joke)
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
telebeast · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
unoriginal joke
76K notes · View notes
inkskinned · 2 months ago
Text
she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
17K notes · View notes
discount-supervillain · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
9K notes · View notes
astrid-beck · 1 year ago
Text
This is my unethical polycule. The nonmonogamy is consensual and negotiated we're just evil in other ways.
57K notes · View notes
vraska-theunseen · 2 years ago
Text
DID YOU ALL KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO WHATEVER UOU WANT WHEN YOURW MAKING ART ISNT THAT WILD
Tumblr media
72K notes · View notes
creepst-crypt · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Pt 2 to “A name you can still kinda trust!!!”
Tumblr media
Politics aside, rest in peace to the people who died and my condolences to anyone who was hurt in the audience.
(I’m nowhere near right winged, I do not like tr*mp ^^^^)
5K notes · View notes
ruubesz-draws · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Showing off the babies
(I watched Ultraman Rising! It was good!)
Bonus:
Tumblr media
From this
Tumblr media
6K notes · View notes
ocdhuacheng · 10 months ago
Text
So laios and fallin have been ostracized by society since they were children, Marcille has lifelong grief from constantly outliving her loved ones that leads her to dark magics, kabru’s village was destroyed by monsters, senshi and mithrun both have horror movie level backstories, izutsumi was sold as a freak show attraction, and then there’s chilchuck, who is a normal ass divorced middle aged man. And somehow he’s the most shady and secretive out of all of them
Edit can y’all please let me live I didn’t make this post bc I think chilchuck doesn’t have his own trauma or doesn’t experience racism or that being a union boss is a walk in the park or whatever I made it because him lying that he cheated on his wife to get the others to stop asking about his family was funny as fuck. Come on.
6K notes · View notes
novahedron · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Joke that makes sense only to me and one (1) singular friend + live Martin and Tim reaction The vaguely referenced image:
Tumblr media
7K notes · View notes
enigmaris · 13 days ago
Text
A continuation of this post:
There is a teenager in the Watchtower.
Scratch that, there is a teenager that Bruce doesn't know in the Watchtower. The boy, maybe around Tim's age, is wearing worn blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a pair of tennis shoes that had seen better days.
He is wearing no mask, no suit of armor, with no weapons on him. He's just sitting in one of the seats in their larger meeting room, quite literally twiddling his thumbs. He hadn't noticed Batman standing in the doorway.
Behind him, he heard Clark coming round the corner, Bruce lifted up a gloved hand which made the man stop.
"What is it, Bats?"
Bruce sent the man a look before motioning to the boy, who had definitely noticed them now.
He waved at them.
"Who is that? Don't you normally require all your new kids wear costumes up here?" Clark asked.
"Unknown." Bruce said before giving his friend a look. "He's not mine."
Why does everyone assume it's his kid? Just because this boy has dark hair and blue eyes does not mean he belongs to Bruce. Clark has nearly the same looks as Bruce, and he had two kids, why couldn't this one be one of his?
"He's not mine either!" Clark said before frowning. "Not that I know of."
Bruce lifted up an eyebrow, knowing his friend could see it beneath his cowl. Clark rolled his eyes.
"Let's be honest if he was one of mine, you would know before I would."
Bruce grunted and turned back to the teenager. The kid was clearly listening in on them while looking away from them. Bruce watched as he tapped on the table in front of him, making little staccato noises of anxiety.
"Why are we waiting out here?" Barry asked, appearing right in a blur of red and yellow right as he did. Clark pointed at the unknown in the meeting room. Barry grinned widely beneath his own cowl, making the rubbery material crinkle.
"Batsy! Another one? You sly dog, where'd you find this one?"
"He's not mine." Bruce growled, Barry actually froze for a moment, shock slowing him down to normal speed for a moment.
"Nice joke, Bats. If he's not yours, then whose is he?"
Bruce clenched his jaw, Barry looked between the two of them, head flipping rapidly until he realized it wasn't a joke. In the corner of his eye, he could see that the unknown was openly staring at them with a smile forming on his face.
"We are in space." Barry hissed. "How'd a random kid get in here?"
"Excuse me?"
Behind the three hero pile up, Arthur arrived. The King looked less than pleased at having his way impeded.
"I come to these bi-monthly meetings due to their importance. I have an entire kingdom to manage, so if we could all move?"
"Bats has a new kid!" Barry nearly shouted.
"He's not mine!" Bruce growled while Arthur looked up and over Barry to see the unknown.
"Do we have a security breach?" Arthur asked.
"He's not yours yet!" Barry said at the same time, lifting up a finger and pointing it right at Bruce's face.
"We don't know who it is or how they got here." Clark said. "He doesn't seem hostile."
"Appearances can be deceiving, Superman." Arthur said , pursing his lips. Bruce turned to see that the boy had now waved in greeting at Arthur and Barry. Barry waved back.
"Are we having a hallway party or something?" Captain Marvel asked. "A party sounds waaaay more fun than a meeting, no offense Batman."
"We have an intruder, Captain." Arthur said pointing directly at the kid.
The kid's eyes widened and he looked behind himself before pointing at his own chest in surprise.
"He doesn't seem like an intruder?" Marvel said with a frown. "What if he's lost?"
"The watchtower is a secure facility, people don't get here by accident." Bruce said.
"I dunno, Batman." Marvel shrugged. "We have aliens, magicians, and time travelers on our team. He could be lost."
Bruce refused to admit the genial man had a point, the unknown could be from anywhere or anywhen. From further down the hallway, John and Diana appeared, walking together. Diana was holding a glass filled with one of Barry's chocolate protein shakes. John nodded in greeting at the group.
"We have an intruder Wonder Woman." Arthur said.
Diana looked through the crowd before shaking her head.
"Nonsense. He has permission to be here. Come, we should sit for the meeting."
Diana muscled her way through the crowd, still carrying the glass. She walked directly over to the unknown. The boy perked up, smiling widely as Diana held out the glass for him
"Thanks, i was getting hungry." The boy said before taking a large gulp of the shake, Diana smiled down at the boy, resting her hand in his dark hair.
"Woah. Plot twist." Barry whispered.
"Come on, let's get to the bottom of this." Clark said walking into the room, following the path Diana took.
The rest of the League followed suit, taking their assigned seats around the table. Bruce wasn't surprised to see that the unknown was sitting in an extra chair right next to Diana.
"To start the meeting." Diana said onc everyone was seated. "I do have some news to share."
"Yeah, I sure hope so." Marvel said in that strange, joking tone he used as if he were quoting something, not that Bruce had ever been able to recognize the quotes.
"I would like to introduce the Justice League to my son, Daniel of Themyscira." Diana said, putting her arm around the unknown and squeezing him to her side.
"Hi." Daniel said, waving at the group, his cheeks a bit red.
Immediately, there was an uproar from most everyone in the League. Questions and shouts of confusion, shock, and denial. Diana only allowed the noise for a few moments before she slammed her fist onto the table hard enough to crack it.
"Enough!" She shouted, quickly quelling the group. "I will not allow my decision to bring my son here be questioned."
She glared at them fiercely, still holding Daniel to her side. The boy had ducked down a bit with the shouting but was now looking up at Diana with adoration.
"This entire team, aside from Captain Marvel, has brought their young charges to the League." Diana continued, looking at each of them. "Superman has brought up two Superboys, Aquaman introduced to us Aqualad, Flash has both Impulse and Kid Flash, Martian Manhunter came to us with Miss Martian. I do not believe we even have time to list all of Batman's brood."
Barry had the audacity to snort at Diana's last point. That actually eased the tension and people relaxed. Diana leaned back into her seat.
"I would think that my team of many years would trust my judgment in bringing my son here. I assure you he is well into his training and more than competent. I will allow you all to ask your questions now."
Bruce cleared his throat near silently and spoke up first.
"What does he know?"
Diana didn't look impressed at his question. Daniel looked at her face before frowning at Bruce, clearly following his mother's lead.
"I have spoken at length about the League and how we work together. I assure you that i have not revealed any identities shared in confidence with me." Diana's tone made it clear she was offended that Bruce would accuse her of revealing their identities. He barely kept from wincing.
"Uhm. How did he... come to be?" Clark asked, clearly not wanting to ask any truly intimate details.
"In the way all children do." Diana said, giving Clark a look of his own.
That answer was not very helpful given that Diana was formed from clay by her mother. Had she taken a pottery class when he wasn't looking? Unless the boy was much older than he appeared, there was no way Diana had hidden a pregnancy from them 15 or so years ago.
"Why haven't we heard of him before now?" Arthur asked.
"Daniel was training with Pandora, one of the elders of Themyscira, she sent him here when he learnt all she had to teach. He joined me in the world of man only a few months ago." Diana answered simply.
"Uh. Excuse my ignorance." Barry said in a tone that made it clear he was about to say something very ignorant indeed. "But I thought your family only had women in it?"
This time Daniel answered, looking nervous.
"I'm. I'm trans actually." he answered, while rubbing his arm nervously.
"Which is completely fine and something that will not leave this room." Diana said, her voice comforting towards her son while her eyes promised hellfire to the heroes in the room.
Everyone made noises of agreement until Daniel relaxed, going back to smiling.
"Excuse me Wonder Woman, will Daniel be wanting to join any of the other, younger teams?" Captain Marvel asked, sounding excited at the idea.
Which of course he would, he was still acting Den Mother for Young Justice and loving it.
"That is up to him. For now I would like to keep him to myself for a while longer, but once he is further trained by myself I think it would be a splendid opportunity."
"Yes!" Daniel agreed before clearing his throat. "I mean, that'd be cool or whatever."
"We can discuss it in the future." Bruce allowed, knowing that it would probably happen sooner than Diana would want knowing how both the Teen Titans and Young Justice were. Danny nodded eagerly at that.
"Finish your food." Diana told Daniel before looking back up at the rest of the team. "Are there any more questions?"
"Does Daniel have any health requirements or powers we need to be aware of?" John asked. "Or is his physiology the same as your own?"
"His powers are vastly different from my own. It is one of the reasons Pandora had taken on his training in the beginning." Diana answered easily. "The facilities and resources we have here should work well for him in case of injury."
The knowledge that Daniel's powers were so different from Diana's that she didn't feel comfortable training him herself was worrisome. Amazons, as far as he knew, had relatively similar powersets. Although he had not heard of Pandora before, perhaps she was specialized?
"I do have, what's it called? An enhanced metabolism. Most stuff here doesn't work on me."
"Don't worry son. We have plenty of medications designed with metas in mind." Clark told Danny. "If it works on me and your mom, it willl work for you."
"Cool."
"What all can you do?" Captain Marvel asked.
Daniel turned to look at Diana who nodded. The boy then looked back at them and started listing his powers.
"I can fly. Not as fast as mom's invisible jet but pretty fast. I'm super strong. I can turn invisible and intangible."
"Intangible?" Clark asked.
"It is an ability similar to Martian Manhunter's density shifting." Diana clarified. "The mechanisms are different."
Magical, most likely, instead of John's more science based power. Bruce would have to come up with more contingencies to compensate for that.
"Yeah intangibility is pretty cool." Daniel told them. "Althought when i first got it, it was pretty scary. I kept falling through stuff. I was almost afraid I'd start falling through the whole planet by accident. I totally have it under control now though."
"I would be interested in comparing our abilities, Daniel." John said, nodding his head towards him. The boy beam excitedly.
"Yeah!"
"Not in the Watchtower." Diana warned, voice stern.
Yes, that was probably sensible. Danny agreed with his mother, and John clarified that he would be happy to meet up planetside at their convenience.
"Are those all of your abilities?" Barry asked, Daniel shook his head.
"No there are a bunch more. But I'm not supposed to use them for a while."
"Why?"
"My son is powerful, but he has relied on his powers far too much in the past." Diana said, sounding porud enough to make her son blush. "Right now, I am training his melee abilities, we have agreed to a temporary pause until he has met my standards."
"It's been super tough. Mom's making me practice with her sword all the time." Danny added on.
"My mother will be sending on your own weapon soon." Diana soothed. "Hephestes does not like to be rushed."
"I know mom."
Diana reached up and ruffled her son's hair. Daniel leaned into the affection with a smile.
"Are there any further questions?" Diana asked, when no one had anything immediately she nodded. "Good. Is there any further business? If not, I would like to take my son home for a proper meal."
Everyone looked at each other. Bruce had wanted to discuss some of his findings, but with Diana's reveal, it hardly seemed important any longer. Bruce was going to need to do a lot of research and planning. He wondered if he should get Tim involved or if he should hold off. The League agreed to end the meeting early, Diana stood.
"Come Daniel. We should get to the jet."
Daniel scrambled up and followed his mother out of the meeting room, his worn sneakers squeaking a bit on the flooring. The rest of the League sat in silence for a moment taking in what Diana had told them.
Wonder Woman had a child. A child with powers beyond her own.
Daniel popped back into the room before anyone could speak.
"Gosh, I am sorry I almost forgot. Mr. Batman, I have something for you."
Daniel walked right over to Bruce, who stared at him from underneath the cowl. The boy was not nearly as confident as his mother when it came to his glare. He cringed a bit, but reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny, silver and green flash drive. He placed it on the table and stepped back.
"What is that?"
"Mom told me you like to make contingencies for everyone. In case they go crazy or whatever. So..." The boy motioned to the drive with his hand. "I mean, it'd be weird if i made my own plans, but like, you could do it. That has all my powers and weaknesses and stuff."
Bruce grabbed the flash drive and the boy looked pleased.
"Okay! I gotta go. It was awesome meeting you guys!"
Daniel turned on his heel and ran out of the room. Bruce looked down at the flash drive, doing his best to hide his shock. No one has ever just handed him a list of their weaknesses before.
"I dunno Bats, are you sure he's not yours?" Barry asked.
2K notes · View notes
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
...Turns out gay sex actually was the solution.
(This is basically a redraw, come read the real deal over at Tiger Tiger)
2K notes · View notes
wavewavethoughtsonly · 1 month ago
Text
IlLogical
Tumblr media
Shockwave revealing one of his many creations to overthrow the Autobots.
While everyone assumes Shockwave is being uncharacteristically stupid, Soundwave knows he’s trying to please him.
3K notes · View notes
bloodwards · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
bene gesserit costuming + occult and religious imagery
6K notes · View notes
trustyalt · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
+ YEEHAW
4K notes · View notes
starfalcon555 · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
a story told in two pictures
7K notes · View notes
quarkfancam · 6 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
its my first day at ds9 high school hope they dont notice im straight
1K notes · View notes