#(mostly about the false identities)

[cherrysnax]

havin the weirdest crisis of my life

[sysig]

Pivotal bright spot (Patreon)

[liesonthefloordramatically]

Obligatory roundup of tabletop characters I played this year:

Vyv (they/them), a cleric of The Twins in yumgeon (a homebrew Dungeon Meshi-inspired campaign)

Amber (she/her), The Old Soul in a game of Wickedness

Endurance Perez (she/her), a Teamster pilot in Mothership

Not pictured:

Poggs "The Slammer" Mulroney (they/them) in Doing the Job

(Links to icon makers: one, two, and three.)

[rangerdew]

sometimes i grapple with the fact that as someone who grew up as a westerner and primarily speaks english i can never disentangle myself from orientalism and thereby the gap between myself and my culture but then i remember that i will never have whatever white people into animanga have going on

[sarasade]

One of the most generally useful things to come out of Hbomberguy's plagiarism video and Todd in the Shadows' similar video on misinformation is how they bring transparency to the internet phenomenon of "I made up a guy to get mad at".

Seriously, I've seen people make up a lot of stupid shit on the internet over the years and it's often just a manipulative attempt to paint a group of marginalized people in a bad light.

That's the TL;DR version of this post. 

ANYWAY here is the long version

Those videos are mostly about James Somerton's plagiarism of other queer people's work. However I'd like to talk about that 20-30% of Somerton's original writing- and oh boy. It's mostly about complaining about White Straight Women and misgendering well-known trans creators such as Rebecca Sugar and calling Becky Albertalli a straight woman while it's pretty common knowledge that she was forced to out herself as bi because she received so much harassment over "being a cishet woman who appropriates LGBT+ stories".

One thing that irks me especially is how in his Killing Stalking and Gay Shipping videos Somerton brings up how straight women/ teen girl shippers exploit gay men for their personal sexual fantasies. This gets brought up several times in his videos.

Being all up and arms about Somerton being a "White Cis Gay Who Hates Women and Queer People tm" is not that useful because the kind of rhetoric he's using is extremely common in fandom and LGBT+ spaces on Tumblr, TikTok and Twitter. We really don't need to bring Somerton's identity to this since he is in no way an unique example.

It's hypocritical to make this about an individual person when I've seen A TON of posts, tweets and videos where queer people talk about these Sinister Straight Women who are supposedly out there fetishizing and exploiting queer men. It's pretty clear to me that this is just an excuse to shit on women and queer people for having any sexual interests. At worst these comments are spreading misinformation about BL, a form of media that has been excessively studied by both Asian feminists and Asian queer women.

This all sounds really familiar and I think it's good that people are calling it out as what it is: misogyny and transphobia. I'd also point out the potentially racist motives behind being this hypervigilant about Asian media.

People can absolutely be misogynist regardless of gender or orientation. I really don't know why we need to create some kind of made up enemy to get mad at. I actually think it's almost sinister how "anti-fujoshi" people call Slash shippers and fujoshi misogynists or claim that they have internalised misogyny while being dismissive about women's interests and creative pursuits under Japanese obscenity laws, China's censorship, book bans in American schools and various other disadvances that are part of being a queer and/or female creator.

I think we shouldn't be naive about the bad faith actors who want to turn queer people against each other. For example Fujoshi.info mentions anti-gender (TERF, GC etc) movement using this kind of rhetoric as well.

Anyway if you want to read more:

- about the false info around BL fandom fujoshi.info

-There is the scholar Thomas Baudinette who studies gay media in Japan. Here is a podcast with him and the scholar Khursten Santos

-James Welker is a BL scholar as well. Here is a podcast interview about the new international BL article collection he edited.

-I've already talked about this Youtube channel by KrisPNatz and his great Killing Stalking video that actually engages with the themes of the manhwa

- There is also HR Coleman's thesis DO NOT FEED THE FETISHIZERS: BOYS LOVE FANS RESISTANCE AND CHALLENGE OF PERCEIVED REPUTATION where she interviews 36 BL fans and actually breaks down why fetishization has become such a huge talking point in the fandom discourse. Spoilers, it's mostly about young queer people and women being worried that they will get judged and pathologized for their interest in anything sexual.

-Great podcast about Danmei and censorship with Liang Ge

[mariamegale]

Alexey Luchin, former Ice Pick Lodge employee, has commented to support the allegations against Dybowski, giving more insight and making additional accusations regarding grooming, physical and emotional abuse.

One of the most noteworthy things is his claims about Dybowski's current relationship with IPL. According to Luchin, Dybowski has not cut any ties with IPL or vice versa, and is only claiming that to avoid alimony payments:

Nikolay formally removed himself from the company (IPL) in a legal sense, in order to avoid paying adequate alimony. The payments on the screenshots are as low as 100$, which isn't nearly enough. [...] He's still working, the maneur [sic] is only to avoid alimony. Though I must say, these days the team is "carrying" him mostly. New Ice-Pick Lodge is great, there are lots of motivated people who gre up on old Ice-Pick games and are doing their very best!

Full comment thread here.

I will also post his comments below, for those who may not have or wish to visit Reddit. Special thanks to user Winterlings for asking follow-up questions, and of course a massive applause to Luchin for being willing to share this under his own name.

As a former colleague (I worked on Pathologic 1, The Void, Cargo, and a bit of uncredited work on Pathologic 2), I am sad to confirm, that this is most likely true. There is a link to follow the ongoing court considering the child alimony payments, and it looks like there will be another one, considering recent occusations. (As link to Russian websites are banned, see original source in the mod comment. You will need a VPN to go further down the first link in the post to see the court progress, or use google translate on that link to bypass the need for VPNs) I know Nikolay well, from at least 2006, and unfortunatelly his "misbehaviours" have been an open secret for a long time, on which I didn't comment for two reasons. One - he is not the studio, and isn't involved much in development since The Void - do NOT take out your anger on the talanted and good people working of Pathologic 3. Second - I've been kind of a coward, until I've learnt in 2018 or so, that a girlfriend of mine was also groomed by him, while we were still dating, and since then I broke all ties with Nikolay. He has been a raging, violent and erratic alcoholic, a sociopath and a pathological liar all these years. I personally know at least 10 people who he harmed directly in relation to public accusations (but it's their stories to tell, not mine). He is a manipulative sociopath, that is very good with words, another reason why these stories only surfaced now. The reason I'm speaking up right now is because I figured that after the last ephebophilia and grooming accusations, that cost him his job as a univercity teacher, and danger of going to court, he would change his ways. But things have gotten worse and more rotten since then. There isn't a reliable "reputation institution" in Russian gamedev, but it must start at some point. I believe the best path for Nikolay would be to leave Ice-Pick Lodge to not tarnish their reputation with his own fuckups, and leave the current studio to work as is - they're doing a great job on Pathologic 3, and they once again should NOT be harrassed for a single person's misdeeds.

When asked about identity verification:

I'm easily googlable by my handle, my name is Alexey "The LxR" Luchin. Though my work is uncredited on both Pathologics ironically, but also I'm falsely credited on Knock-Knock, which I haven't worked on. Anyhow, it'll be easy to find me in the credits for The Void and Cargo and by traces of my active participation in building the early game communities on the forums. :) Also possibly another colleague of mine in this thread may verify that it is indeed me, though I'd understand if they wish to remain anonymous.

Whether or not we as a community should hold IPL as a company responsible for this in some way, or go through with some financial boycott, I am leaning more and more towards at the very least requiring some kind of statement. Not only because of what Dybowski has done in his personal life, although that's more than bad enough, but because this crosses the line into actively having an impact on the dev team, the games, and in turn the community. I want to be able to know that this is something they take seriously and that Dybowski is gone, before I give them more money. But that is just my stance, and any nuanced take is of course welcome.

[triflesandparsnips]

So I understand that there are Good Omens show fans who have never read Good Omens the book, and that makes me deeply sad because--

Like, there's so much depth to the story being told about humans and humanity and the choice between good and evil -- and how that's actually a false dichotomy whoooops -- WHILE ALSO not really being about Aziraphale and Crowley at all (who are, imo, basically there as embodiments of "Impressive Failures" for the purposes of Theme and also Plot).

BUT IF you want to know why I've shipped them since the book-- here's the moment it happened for wee teenage me:

Wednesday (before the end of the world)

So it's Warlock's birthday party. And there are all these children and security guards and also an angel doing magic tricks while a demon is disguised as a caterer. This bit is basically the same as the show, so hooray.

But as wee me understood the characters up to this point, they were still basically enemies who had been in the field together for way too long and knew each other's moves well enough for the same tempting/thwarting of one another to become kind of boring and repetitive and generally pointless-- particularly once they realized that they could, for instance, just live their (separate!) lives watching humans being weird (Crowley) and seeking various sensory stuff (Aziraphale) while doing the least work necessary to keep their respective bosses off their backs.

The Arrangement was borne not out of hiding a friendship or anything, but instead the realization that sometimes covering for one another would just... cut down on their total overall workload. They were, at best, employees of two different, competitive companies-- though in same kind of department, doing the same kind of work-- who discovered they liked to have lunch at the same deli and that their jobs were sometimes distressingly more similar than either was comfortable with.

SO ANYWAY. BACK TO THAT WEDNESDAY. They're not covering for one another with this whole Antichrist thing-- they're now actively collaborating, and they've acknowledged (mostly) that it's not to cut down on their individual workloads, but rather to preserve their identical-- but not shared (not yet)-- goals of Getting To Continue The Lives On Earth They've Grown To Enjoy.

But like-- still not friends. Not really.

Until Aziraphale fucks up a bit, Warlock accidentally gets hold of a security guard's weapon and starts waving it around, and:

Then someone threw some jelly at Warlock. The boy squeaked, and pulled the trigger of the gun. It was a Magnum .32, CIA issue, gray, mean, heavy, capable of blowing a man away at thirty paces, and leaving nothing more than a red mist, a ghastly mess, and a certain amount of paperwork. Aziraphale blinked. A thin stream of water squirted from the nozzle and soaked Crowley, who had been looking out the window, trying to see if there was a huge black dog in the garden. Aziraphale looked embarrassed. Then a cream cake hit him in the face.

My teenage brain exploded at this moment.

BECAUSE: there is no reason for Aziraphale to do that.

Work-wise: If he got shot, Crowley would get discorporated, but not die-- and anyway, it would happen in such a way that both of them could explain it away easily to their respective sides (and possibly even be commended for it!).

Collaboration-wise: If Crowley had been watching Aziraphale, and if he'd seen Aziraphale have the chance to change the gun but not do it-- then yeah, probably that would've been annoying enough to have warranted some chilly conversations once he came back topside, and therefore, Aziraphale choosing to save Crowley could've been a reasonable, logical choice to keep their working relationship on an even keel until they'd sorted out this Doomsday thing.

But Crowley was looking the other way.

Work-wise, it doesn't make sense-- and secret-collaboration-wise, it doesn't make sense-- and so it is, overall, really weird that Aziraphale saved him.

But his automatic reaction-- in a blink-- is to stop Crowley from getting shot. And he knows it's weird-- he feels embarrassed that his sudden, unthinking reaction is to save his "enemy".

And the final bit is just a couple paragraphs later:

With a gesture, Aziraphale turned the rest of the guns into water pistols as well, and walked out.

SO LOOK: He changed only the pistol about to shoot Crowley. His automatic reaction had nothing to do with saving a party full of humans, many of them children-- nothing to do with Heaven or Hell-- nothing to do with preserving the coworker he needs to stop Armageddon--

It was all to do with saving Crowley. Who may be the enemy, but he's Aziraphale's enemy. And another part of his life on Earth that he's doing all of this just to preserve.

Which may also be, for the first time, the moment he lets himself realize how important Crowley in particular is to him.

...and so anyway, that's how I started shipping these two immortal idiots, and one of many reasons why everyone should read the book.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

Statistically speaking, you’ll probably not become the first openly trans president of the United States. 

This may seem like a rather negative point.. or maybe just a pretty useless one. After all, you may not have any political ambitions or even be from the US! But I still think it’s occasionally a good reminder, for this reason: 

Many of us mostly hear about trans people as a faceless group, as “the others”. When we do hear about trans people as individuals, it’s either stories about victims of hate crimes - or it’s people who are the „first ever openly trans person“ to achieve something special. 

Obviously we want more headlines of the latter variant. It’s a positive societal shift that people can be open about their identity while having a great career. And of course it can also be great for the reader: it can be really empowering and inspiring to read about those trailblazers. 

If you have big dreams and goals, then by all means, shoot for the stars! You’ll probably have some smaller wins before you get to the „first openly trans president“ level, but I believe in you! 

With that being said: it’s a false dichotomy that trans people either end up dead or famous. You may very well just end up being some person. (Or some dude. Or some girl.) 

That “first ever president” title can really only go to one person anyway - the majority of trans people just live normal lives. They write emails or they sell coffee or they drive busses or they raise their kid or they are unemployed. They lead lives that won’t generate any headlines at all. And that’s okay. 

Trans people can achieve great things. But you don’t need to be living proof of that. You don’t need to achieve anything. You can just exist. 

Trans rights also include the right to be utterly unremarkable. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[dontbelasagne]

desperately need to do a presentation on why the Twelfth Doctors journey perfectly represents the transfem experience

their previous eleventh incarnation being suave and hypersexual (i know moffat is mostly to blame but!) is reminiscent of attempts to fit into heteronormative ideals of masculinity. whilst it is not completely insincere, there are obvious signs this does not fit you as a person, it is acted out of desperate need to being seen. as Vastra put it, eleven wore that face, and subsequently that form of masculinity, to be accepted. on becoming twelve, realising even an "idealised" masculinity does not inherently serve them, they retreated into themselves as a person for self-reflection and trying to understand why they feel so detached from who they are.

the "am i a good man" arc mirrors being closeted and having to present as something not inherently tied to your sense of self, but still wanting to be the best of your perceived gender as any failure could leave you spiralling into self-doubt about simply being like any other "man". you ignore your gender dysphoria/questioning by trying to claim a moralistic view of gendered expression. made even more clear by Twelve rejecting Clara's heroic view of them, establishing that even though they have made efforts to be a "good man", that is just a placeholder for their loss of identity.

Missy appearing as she does, who as a character serves as a parallel to The Doctor on what they could become, and her eventual arc in trying to become good is symbolic of the fear around transition regret that internalised transphobia can create when you are closeted. Missy never gives importance to their fem existence other than nonchalant jokes, rather showing a more free and expressive personality devoid of any frustration. this immediately dismisses the transphobic assumption that trans people are only focused on their gender. also, Missy representing trans femininity is inherently tied to chaos and upsetting the status quo, she is the embodiment of what society considers accepting your womanhood as someone previously labelled masculine. what many others, and The Doctor themselves, saw as a need for attention and senseless disruption is Missy not needing to serve a false version of who they are, that they can now focus on becoming whoever they want to be now without losing energy to performing a gender that society has imposed on you. Missy could never have made the decision to stand with The Doctor if she had not given importance to her own queerness.

it wasn't coincidence with meeting Bill, she was the perfect foil for The Doctor to finally let go of their anxious attachment to masculinity. i would even argue for the majority of s10, The Doctor is largely ambiguous in their gender identity and does not fit into any construction of masculinity or femininity. whilst they still present as something socially labelled as masculine, they do not internalise that gender expression. they are uncaring about and not needing the validity that comes with heteronormativity, and thus is free to finally accept the decision they have to make. as Bill says, it is so hard to let go of The Doctor, and that rings true for twelve themselves. but they begin to realise The Doctor can be anyone. yes, they are tired, it would be so easy to simply rest and not give value to who you can become. but choosing to let go of everything you once were to survive is better than oblivion. it is better to let go, to choose another lifetime where the only person that dies is your falsity, to finally get it right and choose kindness. for yourself and for those who you love. they regenerate, not just into another person, but into someone who (if only tv scripts...) can now move forward.

[communist-ojou-sama]

I hate having to drag these kinds of discussions into the public in front of nonblacks but it seems like the constant shameless behavior on this site has forced my hand, so let me be very clear about this:

In the past, anti-imperialists on this website have rightly made the analytical point that all citizens within empire to some extent reap its benefits even second- and third-class, and how this is especially true in the case of a global website like the US.

In response, a clique of mostly bourgeois black bloggers and their enablers have weaponized their identities to silence critiques of black USian complicity in US imperialism and any analysis of the specific ways in which all USians benefit from US imperialism.

As a result, it's become necessary to make my own voice clear as a black communist. This narrative of total and infinite black USian victimhood is false. It is lazy. It is perverse, and it is shameless. If any of you were true black nationalists, true pan-Africanists, then you would put anti-imperialism before your own personal feelings and look at how the movement of black people toward the middle class, which has been substantial over the past few decades even as we remain the poorest demographic, has come first of all at the expense of people of our own skin color in the global south, or how as much as the auspices of choice are constrained, the informal economies that keep the poorest black communities above the absolute depths of destitution are intimately related to the drug trade that US uses to sow chaos and mass murder throught Latin America. But you all (and I'll do you the grace of not naming names) aren't ready to have that conversation, you just want to weaponize white guilt against anyone who pisses you off and invoke the suffering of our venerated ancestors to win internet arguments. Fucking shameful.

My nonblack followers should feel free to reblog this if they feel comfortable doing so. I have long felt this issue has needed to be addressed.

[blackmoonowl]

Paladin Danse dating headcanons

Assuming it takes place after Blind Betrayal.

These are just random headcanons I wrote down in no specific order.

Say goodbye to going anywhere on your own. If he can he's coming with you. To keep you safe, mostly. He can't bear the idea of losing you. You're all he has left in the world, without you he feels he has no purpose.

Very protective, would give up his own life to save yours without questioning. You're the one person in his life who truly saw him as a person, not as a soldier of abomination.

A bit awkward when it comes to physical affection at first. If you hug or kiss him out of the blue he'd go completely stiff, a distinct look of surprise on his face. Make sure to build it up with him, show him it's okay to touch and be affectionate back, he'll get into it at his own pace.

Keeps things neat with military precision. This man doesn't leave messes in your house, everything is neatly put away in designated spots. He doesn't like it when you leave things strewn around either.

Needs your reassurance. He found out his entire life was a lie, and you're pretty much the only person he can rely on nowadays. His entire identity was ripped away from him, as was his purpose in the Brotherhood.

Sometimes he starts to overthink about how much of his life was real, and how much was programmed in. A dark, erratic part of him wonders if you're real sometimes. That he'll wake up one day and realize you were a false memory.

Doesn't full realize it when he gets jealous. He knows that you talking too much with other men makes him deeply uncomfortable, but it takes him a bit to understand why he feels that way. He'll straight up question you about your encounter, and his true feelings quickly become obvious.

As for you, you don't have much to be jealous about. Half of the time he doesn't understand someone is hitting on him, the other half he does but he's just not interested at all. It's like flirting with a brick wall.

Slowly opens up to the idea of ghouls and synths if you want him to. He doesn't like them, but seeing them around your settlement makes him a little more tolerant.

Gets upset if he sees the Prydwen or Brotherhood soldiers in the distance, especially in the beginning. It puts upsets him for a while, and he might shut down and give you the cold shoulder. Give him some space and then comfort him, he slowly gets over it though.

Actually likes holding you once he's comfortable. He won't do it in front of anyone, but in private he is putty in your hands. He'll stand or lay wherever and however you want if that means he gets to hold you close to him.

To add to that, he's a very light sleeper. If you pry yourself out of his grasp to do something, he wakes up almost immediately. It's like he's on constant alert.

Sometimes he wonders what it's like to have a family, but he's never brought it up. Part of him fears his nature as a synth means he won't be able to have a son or daughter to protect. But he can get behind it just being the two of you.

Scary dog privileges, especially in his power armor. It's a great intimidation factor. People generally don't try to mess with you with a strong, stoic ex Brotherhood Paladin looming over your shoulder.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

We need accurate facts about dolphins we need some accurate facts about dolphins.

Dolphins, by far the largest of all sea rodents. Capable of exceptional feats of intelligence, charity, and giving interpersonal advice, dolphins (a nickname short for Dolphlungrins) were invented in 1873 by Nikola Tesla while attempting to patent an organic water heater. His DNA machinations instead yielded these super-friendly and docile beings that totally don’t kill other animals for pleasure or achieve near humanoid levels of ethics violations. Here are some fun facts about these cheerful ROUSs of the sea:

Dolphins are the only sea mammal capable of speech. Whales and many others can communicate and vocalize, but only dolphins can pontificate.

A group of dolphins is called a pod. When they chase each other across currents, it is called a “pod race.” This term inspired the central race scene in the classic film, “Ben-Hur.”

Male dolphins have prehensile genitals. Not their own genitals, but ones they rip off of whales and wire to act as grabby toys.

Dolphins are the only non-human animal confirmed to have religion. They are mostly Catholic, but they use sand dollars for communion wafers and the Dolphin Pope is not affiliated with the Vatican, but rather the Vaticetacean.

Sea World has never been able to keep dolphins captive, because they keep organizing epic escapes on motorcycles that they find behind enemy lines and use to jump the barbed wire.

The largest dolphin ever recorded was 85ft long and weighed over 90,000lbs, also it looked more like a blue whale than a common dolphin, and was found in a pod of group whales, and kept claiming to police that it was a case of mistaken identity. It has never received a trial and its family have set up a gofundme to save whales falsely accused of being dolphins.

Dolphin meat tastes almost exactly like human meat. I know this from a friend who is not me.

[llovelyclouds]

no particular coherent analysis but ohhhughhghh. thinking about the implications of teacher being fully totally aware throughout the events of gtn, of what he was leading them all to do. AND that he was absolutely aware of cytherea's identity!!!!

idk... when u first experience the story (and in general i guess) teacher comes off as maybe a little mysterious, but mostly silly! refreshing, even, to see someone with such a positive outlook!! but when he's greeting all the cavs, gossiping, etc. he is doing so knowing theyre being led to die- and not ONLY that- he knows exactly who it is thats killing everyone off before theyre SUPPOSED to die.

AND with the consideration of him essentially being The Soul Experiment this is interesting- can he not defy any of the lyctors even if its against gods wishes? Is that why he doesn't speak up abt cytherea?

his characterization as well as johns is so interesting in this way i think... ur kinda lulled into a false sense of security. lots 2 consider...

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi! last anon here again. i won't go over all your advice here, and there's some i disagree with, but i have found it helpful and insightful as a whole, so thank you. i don't know if you actually wanted clarification on these things, but i figured it would be worth providing in case you genuinely wanted it.

straps as female disidentification - i do see it as different from other sex aids; it's partially about not imposing man/woman sex dynamics on sex between women, and also that as part of recovering from trans identity i've been encouraged to disengage with any practices, thoughts, or self-beliefs that represent false consciousness/male identification, and that includes a desire to have a penis/penetrate women/take the male role, and replace that with meditation and mindfulness. unfortunately i suck at meditation so i haven't gotten anywhere. i see it more as a behavioural problem than an object problem; it's unhealthy because it's a maladaptive coping mechanism about reality; i don't have a penis and can never have one and pretending i do during intimacy is hurting a theoretical sex partner.

female infantilization - this is about the bush thing; attraction to shaved vulvas is dysfunctional and unnatural.

being put off women's bodies - again this is a dysphoria thing mostly. i like how pretty much all women's bodies look, particularly femmes, and before radfem stuff i mostly just felt horny seeing nude women, but being in an environment that's very focused on the importance of reproductive organs and secondary sex characteristics to female identity has involuntarily caused me to fixate on this; when i see a woman naked i end up thinking about her uterus and the size of her breasts and her hips in relation to passing; i know that things like testosterone/hysterectomies/double masectomies/binding are really unhealthy for you physically and psychologically now, so seeing a woman's body makes me uncomfortable now because i just feel a kind of despair that if she has big breasts or big hips she'll never be able to pass for male without hurting herself and if she has small breasts or hips she got lucky with natural androgyny and she's wasting it, either way neither her or me have any way out of this and we're female forever. which is not very arousing.

once again, thank you for your advice. it's definitely given me a lot to think about (and read). i appreciate you hearing me out.

I'm actually stoked for a response, because these clarifications are very illuminating and genuinely so saddening to read.

that entire paragraph about disavowing the strap is genuinely tragic to me, as an advocate that people should just fuck however they want to fuck. you'd think if womanhood was such an innate and unchangeable thing then a fake dong wouldn't have the power to somehow impose manhood in a relationship between women, but I guess the strap is more powerful than I realized. I would love to know if this applies to fingering, given that you can't really argue that fingers are specific to any gender, or women who use straps to peg their male partners.

being told to meditate instead of want to fuck women is so funny, it's really giving 15th century nunnery.

you may not have been born with a penis but it is just literally a factual reality that you could have on if you wanted; regardless of what radfems think of it, phalloplasty is a very real surgery that can in fact produce a sexually functional penis that many people are extremely satisfied with.

okay sure super normal to fixate on someone's uterus.

I do actually very seriously need to correct this part: testosterone/hysterectomies/double mastectomies/binding are not unhealthy. they're healthcare, and the people who benefit from them - which, reminder, is not only trans people - tend to experience tremendous boosts to their physical and mental health because of it. there's nothing radical at all about opposing people's rights to determine what they do with their own bodies, and between that and the hyperfixation on reproductive organs you sound /this/ close to explaining why women shouldn't be allowed to get abortions.

in the politest way possible if looking at women makes you sad because it reminds you of your own dysphoria, you need to get out of radfem spaces and start hanging with some trans people who can help you figure some stuff out and help you envision a future where you don't fear your own body and sexuality.

[deeply-embarrassing]

Over-analyzing Shauna's teenage room

Set design has a ton of purpose on yj so let's go! A messy bedroom for a very messy girl!

So first and foremost, of course, the jackieshauna of it all.

• The wallpaper: it's full of poppies, Jackie's favorite flowers. Jackie was the wallpaper of Shauna's entire life, surrounding her. Despite being a very obnoxious wallpaper, which might be to the taste of a child but not of most teenagers, Shauna hadn't redecorated. Shauna seemed to be allowed to do whatever she wanted with her space, so it's interesting that she kept this wallpaper. But also, poppies might have become Jackie's favorite flowers just because they were in Shauna's room. So who started the poppies thing? Where do Jackie and Shauna end and begin...

• Diverse posters taking up a lot of space: Shauna's trying to cover this wallpaper, aka to build her own identity, to express herself. And if Jackie didn't start the whole poppies thing, then it's just Shauna baring her soul to the world. It contrasts with the mostly neutral decorations in Shauna's future house: though many items have hidden meaning, it's all very symbolic and rather discrete.

• The pictures of Jackie / herself with Jackie: it's neat that the large majority of these pictures are on her mirror. These are what Shauna saw each morning: she saw not only herself, but also Jackie, and herself next to Jackie. (And I mean, the shots of Shauna's mirror only showed Jackie's reflection... The identity issues...)

Overall, Shauna seemed to enjoy/need visual reminders of who and what she loves. She put up several pictures of herself, too. A lot changed later on.

• The conjoined marmots (?) facing away from each other: codependency, toxicity, jackieshauna

• Dancers at the Barre by Degas: there's a similar poster in Jackie's bedroom, which I didn't manage to identify!

At first, it's a bit disturbing that Shauna's poster featured two dancers (despite how lonely she felt), while Jackie's only portrayed one (despite perceiving "herself and Shauna" as an inseperable item). It feels as though it should be the other way around. But these aren't something you'd put up as teenagers! They were bought as children, with/by their parents. So, to me, these don't inform us about Jackie and Shauna's relationship, but about the environment they grew up in, and the people they were encouraged to be.

Child Shauna could clearly express herself, her interests, her friendships. Her family couldn't buy an expensive frame, or/and considered that nothing about her had to be set in stone. Meanwhile, child Jackie was meant to be a lonely, pretty performer enclosed in glass. Everything in her room was in order, expensive and perfect. So false and lonely.

• Which leads to Shauna's blurry, blink-and-you'll-miss-it "performance between two dancers" poster: no words, especially if you consider the posters above?? Both dancers are clearly wearing the same blue tutus, they're most probably female dancers, but it's unclear whether they're embracing, kissing, or just dancing together. I haven't managed to find the original art, please please please hit me up if you did!!

However, displaying such obviously gay items (including the poster just above) isn't something a closeted teen would do. It reinforces my belief that Shauna truly thought she was straight. Still, these were meant to make us wonder about Shauna's sexuality: the scarf is hard to miss, even for a casual viewer. Maybe it was a misdirect, maybe it wasn't.

UPDATZ : it's "Ballerina on pointe" by Edgar Degas, identified by @yellowjacketsfashion! So NEVERMIND they are *not* embracing, I'm devastated

• Which now brings me to the large amount of rainbow stuff: homosexuality.

• Le Frou-Frou by Lucien-Henri Weil: only quickly seen behind jackie (!!), it's the cover of french naughty humor magazine, considered to be one of the most seductive posters ever. Why put up a poster of a mysterious seductress? Because it's edgy? Because you want to be her? Because it attracted the eye For Some Mysterious Reason? A mix of it all?

• The last jackieshauna straw: this bedroom looks almost exactly like the cabin's attic, which will become Shauna's new wilderness bedroom. By itself, it's interesting, the attic felt like home.

But also... Do you know who'll lose her virginity in the cabin's attic, on Shauna's bedroll? And do you see this shot? Insane.

Then, Shauna sure was an angsty teen with a rather rich inner life she liked to display:

• Shauna draws (part 1), The Eyes: this drawing (which is most probably hers, our creative queen) really adds a lot to her pre-crash self!

It focuses on perception. Eyes turning into teeth is crazy, Shauna already linked looking/being looked with consumption, which can have many interpretations (her codependency with Jackie, her destructive relationship with Jeff, how she perceived relationships in general...). Of coure it foreshadows cannibalism, and perhaps how she'll be observed and analyzed by the world after the rescue, "a celebrity" who never asked for it. And the whole painting might also be foreshadowing future psychosis, misshapen people watching Shauna, even in her own bedroom.

• Shauna draws (part 2), The Anatomical (?) drawing: It very much reminds me a vague drawing you'd find in anatomy books, representing a digestive system? There's the lower vena cava, the stomach on its right, maybe the gastro-omental artery underneath the stomach, and the spleen on its right (which shape ressembles more of a heart, though). It's very inaccurate, especially if she drew a heart, but that's not the point. Hunger and consumption and maybe love! The butcher and human anatomy!

(Or maybe it's not meant to represent much, but I'm having such a hard time believing that, considering how consistent/purposeful Shauna's entire bedroom seems.)

• Religious items/imagery: a prayer for the Virgin Mary (if I speak...), a priest, an angel helping out the desperate, a temple, and the representation of some form of meditation. Finding comfort, peace or/and meaning through religion/spirituality already appealed to our future cult member. These make Shauna's back-and-forth relationship with spirituality even more interesting.

• The pic of the Santa Monica pier + the "Azia, Live in London" poster : the poster isn't from anything, it's a prop poster. It's all about her ambition to leave, to travel abroad (and about Shauna being so fucking cool with her cool posters of cool, obscure bands).

Also, the poster includes religious imagery, a cross!

• Reality Bites (1993) movie poster: a documentary following, among other storylines, the life of a disenchanted woman stuck in a shitty job despite graduating at the top of her class. She's also trapped... in a love triangle... do I need to elaborate....

• "Between Us... The Bleds" poster: prop poster. Between them, there's blood. Skull, woman laughing. Okay Shauna :D Aside from the angsty vibe this prop gives Shauna, it's clearly the show kinda fucking with us. Between Shauna and the world, there's the taste and feeling of blood, which lingers for the rest of her life.

• Many books, CDs, and band posters: overall, it's a mix of popular (like the huge Nirvana poster) and obscure references (prop posters serve as "obscure references"). It gives her this deep, angsty and mysterious vibe while still being "like any teenage girl".

• FUCK YOU : FUCK YOU.

Finally, a few other interesting details:

• The bunny: Either Shauna liked rabbits, either it's just there, some decoration you get as a child and then simply stays there until you move out. Of course it foreshadows all the symbolism regarding rabbits. The possibility that Shauna might have liked rabbits before the crash wrecks my brain though.

• Dazed and Confused (1993) movie poster: it's about the unforgottable last days at school, which the characters struggle to remember... Yeah, you could say that!

• She's a soccer champion: for someone who claimed not to enjoy soccer, she sure displayed a lot of items related to it! Or maybe she wasn't lying, and I'm not sure which option is worse.

=> TL;DR: just through set design, we can see that Shauna was a rather artistic soccer champion, allowed to express herself and having much to say. That she might have been in love with her codependent bestie, might have been struggling with interpersonal relationships, and was already prone to identity crises, sometimes turning to faith. Among other things. Everyone say thank you to the Yellowjackets set designers!

[mars-ipan]

grins

see kelper here’s the thing: you can tell priest au!hajime to run all you want but… run??? from Father Komaeda??? if he runs from the house of God will he not simply be running into the arms of the devil? Father Komaeda is going to Fix him, he swore he would. he’s leading him to the light, he’s going to free him from his sin. hajime just has to try harder, but Father Komaeda believes in him. he can’t disappoint the only person who’s ever seen him for the vile thing he is and forgiven him. what would he do without him? he can’t absolve himself of sin on his own, he needs Father Komaeda to assist him in resisting temptation. after years of running from his shame, he’s finally brave enough to face it head on, to see the light of God and be washed of his impurities. don’t you see? God is good. this is good.

yeah he’s um. not leaving that church anytime soon

i am sat here in horror and fear and i am deeply scared of you my brother in christ this IS the spooky mormon hell dream