#(it's been kind of a really long time)
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would you bite the hand that feeds you?
#pearlescentmoon#smajor1995#wild life smp#namemc spoilers#i hope these two never get along in the storyline i find them fascinating#OKAY SO#originally i had this sketch back in session 2 when scott manages to throw her something actually edible JUST IN TIME#and now with the namemc spoilers of pearl ACTUALLY having a yellow eye which does! kind of match scotts esp since he died for this#i figured itd be an appropriate time#i did edit it though the original was pearl eating smth#now do i think scott and pearl has had any Major (heh) interactions to warrant this fanart in WL?#frankly no LMAO theyve been very civil you go guys . but i like the dynamics between them anyway#also i finally got a piece with scott!!! hes been very hard to draw goodness#anyway long rambly tags#eydidraws#my art#mcyt#trafficblr#galaxyduo#majormoon#** i say civil because its just been more on verbal light jabs at each other rather than anything Really significant ?#and well. its obvious all 3Gs are being very careful around each other which makes me JUST A L IL SAD#id love to see them let loose and be vicious but i also understand the angle theyre coming from#anyway can you tell i like the 3g dynamics
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we let the ocean drown out our voices/enjoying the bitterness/in the chaotic light, I close my eyes and see
#dredge game#spoilers. technically lol#my friend mim (at mimzalot on twitch etc) streamed dredge at it went the FUnniest way it couldve#two streams in we made a joke abt the collector and the fisherman being in toxic old man yaoi#divorcee-on-widower situationship together. and the joke kept up Literally Until The Very End#iykyk#could not have stumbled into a better way to keep the surprise#and The Best Thing Is. I do still think the yaoi is meaningful to the text#like mim brought up how resurrection is inherently a selfish act. I sat on that for a While#but also I do just enjoy body double. abdication of responsibility through othering a specific part of yourself#pairing that with specifically Being A Villain as like. a deliberate act#u see my vision. u ever played dredge#anyways uhhh caption is from no party for cao dong's devotion#yes its bc red candle game's devotion is like a quarter of my personality but also I do listen to no party for cao dong recreationally#also been really feelin this kind of ink recently. U Will See. Soon Ish#seems I have like... phases of trying to figure out specific textures in ink#a long time ago I was Really into drawing metal with just ink. and a few years ago it was fire. and now: water#one day I'll get all five. and then I will be able to see the future#okay I either finish up a thing or go to bed now... depends. we shall see. take care and be kind to urself yeah? lets draw smthing tmr
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.
(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)
because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,
(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)
it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,
it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.
(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)
she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."
there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves
there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic
she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect
i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way
it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."
it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense
this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though
she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it
by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands
i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me
she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility
she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind
but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*
#dib noise#mouthwashing#sorryyyyyyyyy lol#i will defend you anya o7#its been fun to roll this game around in my brain. gives me something to do#long post#could be reaching though. it's unfortunate so much of her screentime is hammering home how poorly jimmy regards her#or her being scared/nervous in his presence#or trying to placate him#yes i know that's the point#are my feelings on how anya is treated by the the characters the fans and the game itself weirdly personal? yeah sorry#unfortunately i do think they didn't get the anya parts as solidly as the rest but oh well#everything has flaws#i've gone through a playthrough of this game like 10 times for this#you KNOW im sourcing my claims!!#not really an attack on the people who made the stuff i mentioned at the start#more of a commentary on how they relate with the source material itself#yes yes i know giving a crewmate a lethal weapon is probably not the best idea to curly#does that make this situation any less horrifying?#remember: these aren't real people. everything they do was written on purpose for a reason#i still need to write down my general thoughts on the game as a whole..#also not about one specific person post image writing ect it's a collection of things and ideas thrown onto one post#I'm not any good at ending posts like thase it kind of devolves by yhe end but thats ok
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Watching Sam & Brennan talk about the beauty of frivolity, of adults playing silly games just as seriously as they fight to survive, and... yeah. There are some things that keep us alive, and there are some things that make life worth living, and I think games are one of those things that fall into both categories. Games make our lives better and they make us better at being alive. I think that's pretty cool.
#k talks#adventure academy#dropout tv#sam reich#brennan lee mulligan#and i say this not in an evopsych way. never. but in a historian looking back at the infinite intricacy of human experience and crying#i know i'm not really saying anything that anarchist philosophers haven't already said but it just hits me every time. it's so good#(& when the lich heard brennan quote graeber we had to pause the video while he had a little philosophical squee)#i feel for brennan not being able to play mafia bc he's too busy hosting it tho. bc. mood#i am rarely allowed to survive a mafia game these last few years#i wish i could invite everyone else who went 'oof. yeah. same' to join my decade-long group of assorted folks#who've been playing increasingly complicated week-long games of mafia over forum & then facebook & now discord for a decade or so#bc oh boy. those games are fun as HELL & we always love new players#especially the kind who will play DEADLY seriously :)
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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Honestly I don't have much of an explanation outside of I like the irony of a Blind Watcher. And. Well. Grian is right there for things to go awry like that. So,
This was created for the 2024 Reverse Big Bang hosted by @mcytblraufest !! Us artists had to create artwork for the writers to claim this time around! >:)
and speaking of writers.. my art garnered the attention of not one, but two writers, who both created fanfics based off of my art!! It's been such a cool experience seeing how differently they've both taken things and they're both VERY WELL DONE!!!!!!!!
" Glass " by @honeylashofficial
Parts make up a whole, but Mumbo hasn't been a part of anything for a very long time. He was okay with that though. The world was more than welcome to continue outside his window, as long as he had his oven and his cable tv all to himself. But every once in a while, the outside world comes inside, and he has to chase it back out with a broomstick. This time, his technique backfires in a way he never could have imagined. Or... Mumbo could count the number of his friends without even raising a hand. Who knew that a 30,000 year-old creature stealing his bed comforter could change that?
" Lost To The End " by Sary_Sary
Six months ago, Mumbo’s closest friend vanished without a trace, leaving nothing but unanswered questions. 6 months later, a strange creature appears in his bedroom, with no inkling of how or why. With no clue how this creature got there or what it wants, Mumbo is thrown into a whirlwind of confusion as he tries to figure out what is going on. Now, Mumbo has to continue trying to figure out where Grian went, all while learning what this creature even is, and how to help him without harming him in the process. To make matters worse, the only person who can help him unravel this mystery is the one person Mumbo swore he would never work with: Scar.
#mcytblraufest2024#mcyt#hermitcraft#mumbo jumbo#goodtimeswithscar#grian#Blind!Watcher AU#ill have more art for each fic Later and i have many of my own personal thoughts from when i was drawing these LOL#but man. this was such a fun experience and its even more fun finally reading what these two goobers cooked up#i Do have the recordings of me drawing this if Anyone is at all interested . its nearly 30 hours of work haha#didnt. didnt think itd take me that long to draw these. but. hey. ill know for next time :')#BUT YEAH THEIR FICS ARE REALLY GOOD SO FAR IM VERY EXCITED TO SEE HOW MUCH MORE THEY DIVERGE AS THEY GO ON#I REALLY REALLY WANT TO DO MORE ART FOR BOTH OF THEM . SO BADLY#< giggling like a little school girl kicking my leggies . i really really want to theyre so FUN GRAAAAHJ#i really want to redraw these to match how honey and sary both took and kind of ran off with them NSDKJVSDNV#its been really cool seeing the similarities and all the differences. i am so very excited to fully read these. does a little dance
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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based off this video. i think teto is a union man
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#vocal synth#kasane teto#synthv#utau#utauloid#koharu rikka#synthesizer v#voicepeak#my vocal synth tagging systems are getting messier and messier by the second#anyway i dont know why i picture her caring a lot about labour rights and regulations. its probably because 1)#shes just been around so long and has been actively updated this whole time#(not just the sv bank release but also her utau banks as well) so she probably has lots of experience#and 2) twindrill somehow managed to snag a commercial voicebank contract that lets them keep up the utau banks too#which i do appreciate. i like hearing voices on all kinds of software but it sucks that a lot of utau that move commercial take down their#old voicebanks. probably licensing stuff in like vocaloid and such's agreements#although the two utau who have sv banks (teto and renri) were both able to keep up their old stuff so maybe sv has looser contracts?#sv is made by the moresampler guy after all. maybe theyre a little more open about it#anyway i think thats why i picture her being really savvy with this stuff LOL i think shes great at chilchucking it you know#advocating for her fellow synths and negotiating contracts the whole nine yards#i think she will unionize your vocal synths. i think she will unionize them.
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thank you to augustasands on kofi for your donation! ❤️
✨buy me a coffee?☕️✨
#thank you again!!!!!!!#avengers doodles#stevetony#avengers academy#ive been struggling w debilitating art block for literal years now its embarrassing#but im trying to make things anyway bc donations have actually saved me from really really tough spots lately#when you have literally no money & no call backs for this long of a time#any donation means the world no joke. ill never stop being grateful for the kindness of strangers here#sorry to get mushy or whateva im just really really thankful#ANYWAY#tony stark#iron man#avengers#steve rogers#captain america
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Your Gem as an unlabelled bi/gay non-op transman who uses she/her has overridden my previous headcanons and rewired my brain. Quite possibly the most correct take I've ever seen.
I really appreciate you saying this :’) she is so dear to me. I love your turiagirl headcanons as I think gem would definitely be mspec and I haven’t heard of the label before… it’s always fun finding out the new ways people are able to label complex gender attraction!
I’ve been thinking about bi gay gem for the past couple of days too. I just think she is able to represent a facet of masculinity I can relate to heavily because of her unconventional expression of her gender. Unlabelled because she doesn’t think too hard about it but able to identify herself in the flux that is masc while also using conventionally fem constructs because she just likes them … AOUHH thank you for making my day 💖
#geminitay#art tag#it’s been a really funny but extremely pleasant time being able to talk about hermitshipping and personal hc transgender headcanons#I originally had a response that was a lot more personal in regards to the concept of identifying as masc but I condensed it heavily here#i hope it comes across as very reflective and not preachy LOL#I just find it fascinating that not too long ago combining ‘contradicting’ labels was a huge point of discourse for a good while#which i feel comfortable saying that is extremely dumb LOL#I think the queer human experience is diverse and rich#but anyways thank you so much… I really like tboy gem… this has significant implications I think…#your tags are always so kind#hermitcraft#ask#ask art tag#talk tag
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shep. i finished xisuma's s8. i am plagued with so many thoughts /silly
Oh my gognfjgmgimfggfmgnmfdnffgh it’s. It’s so much. I have so much to say and so many thoughts they make me so crazy. They make me so crazy THEY MAKE ME SO CRAZY IS THIS THING ON CAN ANYONE HEAR ME
#hermitcraft#ask#artsy-book#hermitcraft season 8#xisumavoid#xisuma#evil x#not tagging this dbhc bc im talking about canon xisuma#not to say there aren’t theme overlaps but#yeah#the way I could write an essay about Xisuma’s mental state at the end of the season. what it must be like#to slowly come out of that state of being literally manipulated and controlled… to slowly like. gain consciousness again only to find#that the moon has gotten so big that it’s like. too late to do anything.#that he had been so distracted and busy with making the evil empire as profitable and helpful to the hermits as possible#that he just… hadn’t noticed#or been manipulated to believe it wasn’t a bug deal#big deal#or that it was just a rumor#and now it’s too late#but also… the moon is the REASON he’s free from EX’s control#isn’t it.#so… isn’t there a part of him that kind of NEEDS the moon to get closer?#so he can be free?#not that I think Xisuma ignoring the moon was an entirely conscious choice#anyway I’m fine about xisuma finally being free only to realize hermitcraft (and his hermits) are doomed#could he have done anything to stop it had he known about it earlier? who knows#I’m sure xisuma will say for a long time that he could have#but he didn’t in the end#and it wasn’t really his fault but i’m sure he’ll say it was#I need to stop talking before I’m dragged away
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season 1
#art#fanart#succession#succession fanart#succession art#i neeeeeed to rewatch s1 soon its been a really long time#and theyre so delicious in that season. im kind of fascinated with first seasons#like what are these characters before they are coming into an established world#(shivs plot is marginally less delicious to me but shiv herself is great)#and s1 is like a perfect season to me#on its own#shiv roy#siobhan roy#tom wambsgans#roman roy#i looooooooouuuurve the stylization in these theyre just so funny#SHIV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#no wedding rings. theyre free (theyre not)#toms hair was so Shy in s1. he was soft#then tom and shivs hair got pointy as fuck in s2 and 3
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questions for conditioned characters
A) do they know what conditioning is? B) do they understand that they've been conditioned? C) how does this understanding, or lack thereof, affect their perception of themselves?
#asking for my own curiosity really#whump prompt#oc prompt#conditioned whumpee#whump scenario#whump#my prompts#i can answer this for delta#delta definitely knows what conditioning is and could give you a point by point rundown of the different kinds and how they work in psych#but he can not put two and two together when it comes to how he himself has been conditioned. at least not for a very long time.#delta achieves a surprising amount of awareness about the realities of his own situation. but his own abuse is one of the#last things he ever questions. its just so integral to his life he cant comprehend that its wrong.
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That feeling when he can't stand to see you that way, no matter what you do, no matter what you say😩😭💔
#scott pilgrims precious little life#scott pilgrim vs the world#spvtw#spto#scott pilgrim#wallace wells#lisa miller#scollace#kim pine#natalie adams#envy adams#don't rlly know if I like how this turned out but oh well;;;#hope its obvious that this is based on the song “Scott Pilgrim” which the creation the comics were inspired from#the lyrics always make me think of Wallace and Lisa's feelings for Scott every time I hear it#ofc you could also relate it to Kim especially since the singers voice kind of reminds me of her#but overall the lyrics fit these two much better since Scott never truly “saw them that way” despite how long they've liked him#and they always seem happier to see him compared to Kim#Im surprised tho that I havent yet seen anyone draw these two together now that their dialogue parallels have been acknowledged more lately#also tho I wish more people pointed out that they both got cucked by red heads LOL#and Kim and Envy actually do look really similar when scott first meets them#makes me wonder if Scott subconsciously went for Envy since she reminded him of Kim (which would be fitting given that you could argue that#Envy dated Scott because he reminded her of Todd. Since he and Scott are confirmed to be meant to be seen as similar to one another#so much so that even their first and last names rhyme#last thing I'll add tho is that while Wallace and Lisa are very similar even personality wise#the one big difference is that despite that whole conclusion on vol4 of Scott not cheating on Ramona with Lisa because he loves her#the writers apparently think it would be “organically correct” for him to have an affair with wallace LMAO#but I guess we shouldn't be surprised since Wallace and Ramona are both in the front of the official valentines art which is clearly#a deptiction of Scotts wet dream or smth (oh and you could also argue that Wallace and Lisa parallel on that art since they're both#shirtless with white socks.. which could be a reference to how lisa wears skimpy clothes for Scott and Wallace often only wears boxers#to like sexually frustrate Scott for fun or smth
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how has realising your ideals gone for you?
#ts4#ts4 edit#genshin impact#kaveh#alhaitham#haikaveh#p#sorry. sorry. im kind of not though#CAN WE MAKE SOME NOISE FOR HOW THEY LOOK. FAINTS TO THE FLOOR#im not sorry for genshin impact maintaining a grip on me still. they gave me divorced never dated yaoi HOW AM I MEANT TO WALK AWAY IN THESE#CONDITIONS. yall know me.............. anyways ive been compared to both of these guys so really this was a long time coming
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