#(i mean also because he loves her so so so so much and he’s incredibly fucking loyal)

[afterglowsainz]

i wish i hated you | max verstappen

pairing: actress!reader x max verstappen

summary: max has an open relationship but he starts falling for you, compromising his relationship and your reputation

fc: havana rose liu

warnings: so i know this is not technically how open relationships work however for plot purposes this is how i will portray this one specifically

a/n: this fic shouldn’t have took me as long as it took me to write but whatever, max won in brazil after an incredible race and he deserves all the flowers 🥹

—

liked by redbullracing, danielricciardo and others

maxverstappen1 3 🦁🏆

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username let’s goooo max 👊🏽

username simply lovely

gfusername my champion❤️

maxverstappen1 💙

username legend

username hopefully a 4th next year? 👀

username jeez let him enjoy this one first 😭

redbullracing our world champion 🥳

liked by maxverstappen1, kaiagerber and others

yourusername me and my doppelgängers

view all comments

username so beautiful

username literally a face people would go to war for

username mesmerized by her actually

username i know that face card is never declining

maxverstappen1 😄

username now why is my man max lurking in here?

liked by yourusername, gfusername and others

maxverstappen1 magical city

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username sir i was not familiar

username i’m so normal about max being in nyc i’m sooo normal about it

username out of all the places in the world new york was the last city i expect max to go to

username well deserved vacations?

username on his own might i add

username and his girlfriend?

username in paris

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and others

yourusername favorite place in the world🍎

view all comments

username GORGEOUS

username so real

username wait max liking this and he’s also in new york? ….

username lando liking also ….

username could be just a coincidence 🤷🏽‍♀️

username or could mean nothing

username yep he has a girlfriend too, hope this helps!

liked by f1wags and others

f1gossip red bull driver max verstappen was seen with actress y/n y/l/n together in new york during the winter break

tagged maxverstappen1 and yourusername

view all comments

username uhmmmm guys ???

username wait i’m confused, didn’t he had a girlfriend?

username HE DOES

username maybe they broke up?

username omg 😭

username HE’S CHEATING?

username i did not see this one coming

username maybe they’re just friends?

username yeah because thats how you act with your friends

liked by nicholasgalitzine, maxverstappen1 and others

yourusername petition to be your favorite bloody cheerleader🦧

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kaiagerber petition accepted!

username i need her biblically

username no way max is liking this 😀

username like have some SHAME

username no but her too 😩

username omw to see this movie for the 372838 time

maxverstappen1 fun 😉

username jesus christ

liked by yourusername, gfusername and others

maxverstappen1 always playing

view all comments

username who is he trying to soft launch here

username wait is that … y/n?

username there is simply no way

username i used to really like her but after this mess … idk

username if cheater why hot

username ughhh i’m angry at him rn but why does he have to look so good

username both his girlfriend and y/n liking this post 😭

username one of them has got to be delusional

liked by maxverstappen1, alexandrasaintmleux and others

yourusername very vogue 🌸

view all comments

username max in the likes AGAIN

username girl

username she’s very beautiful but the cheating is 😬

username the way she doesn’t even try to hide itttt

username i mean if someone is to blame is max not her

username she knows he’s taken

username babes you can’t post a thirst trap and expect us to forget about the cheating (although it’s lowkey working)

username this shoot atee

maxverstappen1 😍

username nah this is just too much

liked by gfusername, charles_leclerc and others

maxverstappen1 🥰

view all comments

username speechless

username men will really flirt with women on the internet and then post a picture kissing their girlfriend

username guys he is a MAN what did we expect

username alexa play that should be me

username well if his girlfriend forgave him for shamelessly flirting with y/n i can too

username so this is exactly what we are not doing

username that woman is stronger than me fr

gfusername love you💖

maxverstappen1 ❤️

username the way i would commit actual murder

liked by gfusername, charles_leclerc and others

yourusername i’ll always have new york 🥨

view all comments

username baby…

username i’m sorry but i can’t stay mad at her look at her smile

username she was born to serve

username the it girl of our generation

username max’s girlfriend liking this 😭😭

username she gagged me

username fyi she actually ditched that blonde man to date me

username ALLEGEDLY

username his loss 🤷🏽‍♀️

[killing-hannibals-body]

I think that I’ll get some flack for this, but I want to talk about it anyways.

I see a lot of people saying that AAA falls into the classic dead lesbian trope, and, if you look at it simply, one of them dying immediately after a lesbian kiss would fit into that trope.

However, in the bigger scope of things: Agatha isn’t dead. She’s a ghost. While being a ghost technically means being dead, it’s not like Lexa from the 100 or Villanelle from Killing Eve. They exist in a universe where they can never, ever come back.

There’s also an established afterlife (if Agatha doesn’t get her body back like she does in the comics). That afterlife ensures that Agatha will be reunited with Nicholas (and once she finds peace with that, reunited with Rio, as it’s established that she was ready to take Rio back when she thought Teen was her son).

Agatha is also shown to already be able to gain some sort of corporeal presence, meaning physical touch is not out of the question. They’re not doomed to never touch again (and if Agatha actually dies, Rio is shown to hold Nicholas’ hand after he’s a spirit, so, once again, physical touch will be possible).

Jac Schaeffer wanted the kiss to be beautiful and tragic and a representation of where their relationship currently is: tender, sexy, but also incredibly toxic. She didn’t intend for it to be some sort of punishment, especially because they were lovers and partners before the kiss. Once again, going back to Lexa and Villanelle: they were killed off almost immediately after the first kiss/first time having sex. While Agatha and Rio’s “kiss of death” was the first we saw as an audience, it was not their first kiss and most certainly won’t be their last.

While everyone is entitled to their opinions (and if you’re upset at the trope being present at all), I feel like this case doesn’t fit the trope completely when taking in the full picture. Not showing their past is unfortunate, but I do believe that it wasn’t the show-runner’s intention to neglect the couple. They had lots of ideas but were limited to the 9 episodes given. When you listen to the writers and the actors, there’s so much love and thought in their relationship. If you recall the interviews with the writers and actors behind Clexa and Villaneve, there wasn’t much thought, love, or care in the relationship (though I do think that Jodie Comer was deeply invested in Villanelle’s character).

Anyway, those are my two cents! Please don’t take this as an offense to how you feel! I just feel like some people don’t remember/weren’t around when being a lesbian was essentially a punishment.

Agatha gave us a gay kiss, a lesbian kiss, a sapphic coven, a “trans live matters” flag, a “if you want a straight answer, ask a straight lady”, I’m the “queer-ent.”

Plus: the gay kiss is a kiss. They allowed two women to literally make out on television. Tell me you’ve seen such a passionate kiss between two women on TV with such deep history.

[ofmdrecaps]

10/31/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR: Taika Waititi; Samba Schutte; Nat Torres; Kristian Nairn; Linds Cantrell; Dominic Burgess; Vico Ortiz; Fan Spotlight: Our Flag Means Fanfiction New Show; Halloween; Adopt Our Crew OFMD Themed Spooky Season Prompts; Love Notes;

Alrighty lovelies. So this edition is a lot later than it should be because I wanted to get permission from fans to include their absolutely beautiful work! Thank you to everyone who allowed me to share-- and please oh please if you'd like to share yours I'd love to see more of your beautiful creations-- from costumes to pumpkins for Halloween!

PS: Happy Boop Day to all who celebrated here on Tumblr!

= Taika Waititi =

Well, Taika and Rita really did steal the halloween show, I tell ya. Look at these awesome Legend of Zorro costumes!

Source: Getty Images

Source: Rita's Instagram

= Samba Schutte =

Samba and family went for something out of this world for Halloween!

Source: Samba Schutte's Instagram

= Nat Torres =

Nat asked a very important question on Halloween!

Source: Nat Torres Instagram

= Kristian Nairn =

Hey! Did you know Kristian did an interview with Instinct Magazine ?

= Lindsey Cantrell =

Our darling set decorator went as Selena Gomez from Only Murders In The Building (another show Lindsey worked on!)

Sounce: Linds' Instagram

= Dominic Burgess =

Happy Halloween from Jeffrey Fettering! He gets to dress up in all the cool costumes year round!

Source: Dominic's Twitter!

= Vico Ortiz =

Vico's put up more OFMD BTS for S2 on their Patreon! Some sneaky previews below! Vico's Patreon.

Source: Vico's Patreon

Source: Vico's Patreon

== Netflix Requests! ==

Your daily reminder from our dear crewmate aproperpirate to put in those netflix requests! https://help.netflix.com/en/titlerequest

Source: A proper pirate on Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Our Flag Means Fanfiction =

While not specifically OFMD related-- it's brought to you by Our Flag Means Fanfiction and it's spooky! New podcast by the folks who brought you OFMFF about Haunted Hollywood! Check it out on their linktr.ee!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction

= Halloween =

Since Halloween always gives us such fabulous costumes I really wanted to share some that popped across my feed! LadyLiu7 on Instagram was kind enough to share her Blackbeard Costume, which I have to say, is INCREDIBLY bad ass. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

Source: LadyLiu7's Instagram

One of our very active and amazing crewmates, politestmenace over on twitter also dressed as Ed this year, with bonus mini-menace as Kevin from Time Bandits! (Jemaine even sent some praise!) Thanks for letting me share this awesomeness dear!!

Source: Politest Menace's Twitter

Another one of our wonderful crewmates -- _gentlebeard over on twitter went as one of the Skeleton Mermaids! Check out this stunning costume! It was so impressive David re-tweeted it! Absolutely fantastic job Chelsea! Thank you so much for letting me share this with the crew!

Source: _Gentlebeard's Twitter!

= Adopt Our Crew Prompts =

Our Fan-Tabulous crewmembers over at @adoptourcrew kept up the engagement by asking folks what kind of cool OFMD stuff people were into for the spooky season and I was so happy that some of our crewmates were cool with me sharing because LOOK AT THE TALENT ON THIS SHIP!!!!!

Source: Adopt Our Crew's Twitter  Like seriously, how do you all manage to get this so intricate! ITS AMAZING and SUPER SPOOKY. I would have loved to see it in person! Great job Sarah!!

Source: Habitvol6's Twitter

Oh and this extremely cool mermen skeletons decoration!? EXCUSE ME!? Poison2Princess over on Twitter knocked it out of the park with this one!!

Source: Poison2Princess on Twitter

OH and just by the way, check out this fabulous flag pumpkin by AsYouWish311 over on Twitter! It's so hard to carve pumpkins, and you DID NAIL IT! So hard! Frenchie would be proud!

Source: AsYouWish311

Tumblr keeps deleting my edits-- but Check out this SUPER BADASS PUMPKIN THAT JENN on bluesky made! Look at that!!! It looks like a title card! You are amazing luv!

Source: Metavenhorst on Bluesky!

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies! I hope you all had an absolutely wonderful spooky couple days! Halloween is one of my favorite times of year because everyone gets to be so creative, and expectations are dropped even if it's just for an evening!

Please oh please remember to take some time for yourself soon if you didn't get to these past couple days! You need to recharge too. Sending so much love your way -- take care!

Source： MyEasyTherapy

[bronx-bomber87]

Hi!! I just spent the last hour scrolling through your page and I adore everything you have to say about tim and lucy…

So I was curious (because I’m a month into the fandom and I don’t really know anyone yet) what your thoughts, predictions, expectations for season 7 would be?

Sorry if you’ve posted something similar before, please point me in the right direction if you have :)

- Loren

Hi! @moderatelydelusional Nice to meet you, Loren. Thank you for the lovely ask :) Making me all red with your nice comment. So glad you liked everything I've had to say about our lovely ship. Appreciate it so much. Before I answer I want to say welcome to the fandom! We are glad to have you here. 😊 There are so many good blogs on tumblr for them. Glad you chose me as one of them. I am honored. ❤️ I haven't really tackled s7 at all so this is a good ask. Excited to answer it. I'm a detailed woman. So imma break your question down into sections if that's alright. I legit don't know how to be brief about this show or them haha Also will do it with gifs cause that's my thing. Here is my detailed answer below. Hope you enjoy it.

Thoughts on S7- Well we've had ZERO and I mean ZERO spoilers or indicators about this upcoming season. Which I do love them keeping it close to the vest. Honestly I do. Just means they have something incredibly good lined up. They just want to make sure we are surprised. Can't fault them for that. But I'm dying for anything. The end of s6 left us wanting so much more with the scene above. We are all chomping at the bit for any content. I know Eric had a interview couple weeks back about s7. From what little he was able to divulge I am EXCITED.

Here is the link to it. Talks about Tim needing to EARN Lucy back in more ways than one. How she is the love of his life. (Tell us something we don't know haha) But I love Eric referring to her to as such. The personal development for Tim to come as well. Like I said they haven't given us much of anything yet. It's hard to have thoughts when we don't have much to go on. But it seems like it'll be well rounded season. It's always been a character driven show so I think it'll be more than just our ship. Which is fine with me. It is an ensemble cast after all.

I fell in love with this show as a whole when it first launched back in 2018. Give me more Tim/Angela, Lucy/Nyla and Wopez. I'll take all of that. I have been all in from the Pilot. I remember watching it on my lunch break on my phone when it first premiered. I was hooked. When we finally get a promo and a friggin premiere date I can probably be more in depth with my answer. Since we don't have a lot to go on it's hard to have in depth thoughts ha But from what little they've let out I'm quite excited for the journey we're going to embark on. We just need a start date for said journey. All we know is Jan but I need a hard date LOL

Expectations For S7. -I expect Chenford to get back to the softness above. It won't be easy but I expect we are headed back there. I think it's gonna be quite the journey to get us there. Both Tim and Lucy are going to need to grow before we do. They both still have shit to work out. Lucy with her career path and the rough time she had last year. It wasn't just Tim that crushed her. I mean it was a huge headliner but wasn't the ONLY one. Our girl has some communication problems and is like her soulmate in how she handles emotional distress. Expect that to be addressed on some level.

Tim obviously has a lot to make up for and he knows it. That is the first step. I expect we see Tim working constantly to improve himself as a person. To be worthy of Lucy again. He's not going to half ass his healing. He is going to be very Tim in how he goes after it. This is going to bleed into every part of his life. I expect to see that all over his character development in s7.

I also anticipate that we'll see an even stronger and more refined version of Chenford in Season 7, with their characters continuing to grow and evolve. Strong separately and even more so together. I cannot wait for the slow burn of their reconciliation. Going to make all the hurt worth it. It'll be Chenford 2.0 and we are all going to be grateful for that. While losing our minds together it's happening. I would rather have our ship and characters be real and develop. Better that than to be puddle deep like John/Bailey. I'll take the pain of growth over the stagnation of boredom. i.e. Bailian.

Predictions-Obviously I want to predict something like above. Them starting over. Kisses, hugs, and if we're lucky enough to get a repeat of 5x12 on screen. That one I'm straight just trying to manifest lol Possibly Celina catching them or almost doing so when they get back together at her place. These are more hopeful than actual predictions lmao But I mainly predict a deeper intimacy between them when they do reconcile. Stronger communication. It'll be beautiful. I also think we're about to see a side of Tim Bradford we haven't seen before. As we know Lucy brings out the best in this man. The absolute best. We're going to see that on full display.

I think he will continue therapy. I also think we’re going to see a very determined Tim driven in his quest to make amends to Lucy. Which will bring out that new side we haven't seen. It's one of the facets of s7 that has me most excited. And not just for the Chenford portion. (Which does make me giddy to no end) But for him as well. You follow me long enough you'll know I love Tim development. So this excites me so very much.

We watched Tim take strides in his mental health walk and as a person in s6 after 6x07. I expect we're going to see the fruit of that not just in his amends to Lucy. But professionally as well. Tim took quite the fall professionally after being bounced out of Metro. He has fences to mend to Grey, Lt. Pine, and those around him as well in patrol. I see him making those strides and then some.

I predict Lucy is going to finally going to get grounded professionally and personally. (She does have a new roommate. I can see development here too) Lucy got very lost in s6. I think s7 she will be righting her ship. Finding her purpose. My guess was T.O. for her with her dipping her toe with Celina in 6x08. She's so empathetic and willing to slow down and teach. I think that could be a good path for her. Whatever her trajectory is I think it's going to be be worked out in s7 for our girl. It's time for her to get some damn wins. I hope that answers your ask LOL Or maybe was too much? HA Either way I can't wait for s7. I need a promo and a premiere date. Seriously ABC, you're killing us.

[tiger-is-a-certified-idiot]

Scrolling through fandom tags trying to find art and discussion you 1. care about and 2. agree with is difficult and tiring and relatable and sometimes incredibly aggravating.

So in the light of 'everyone is wrong about this character except for me' I have gathered all of my thoughts around Jayce and Viktor, their potential (or existing) romantic relationships with Mel, Sky, and each other, and I am going to shoehorn all of them onto my blog via this post in anticipation for season 2.

If you don't want to hear my personal opinions of characters you don't particularly care about (or care about too much), I expect you've scrolled off already, see you on a future post. For anyone left, this will be a long post. Like, an absurdly long post. And if I could be bothered to collect screenshots of every shot I reference this post would be even longer, but I hate cropping screenshots, so there should be few to none. (LIE this was a LIE i am SO SORRY)

To begin with, My personal interpretation of Jayce and Viktor's relationship to each other within the context of Arcane canon:

Yes, I do think there is implied romantic interest, from Viktor at least. The conversation between Jayce and Viktor in episode two is a direct parallel to Jayce and Mel's conversation in episode 5 (the one before their kiss/sex scene).

From the lighting, framing, tone, facial expressions, setting, and even conversational topic, these scenes are effectively the same. Jayce has a big dream for the future of Piltover with the introduction of Hextech but he has doubts that he is capable enough or worthy of this responsibility. And Viktor/Mel in these scenes encouraged him and then makes a comparison to something from their past that humbled them, and that they would like to help Jayce achieve his dream.

Viktor states this quite directly, but Mel hides her words in a way that can be easily reinterpreted (in a plethora of ways including as an innuendo) which is still, essentially, the same conversation but from two different characters with two different characterizations. Then, there is a hand touch, and This look.

They both make bedroom eyes at him! Not only that, but again, from the exact same angle, same lighting, almost the same framing (Mel is shot with rule of thirds and Viktor is centered which may have its own implication but I am not well enough versed in filmography to take a crack at that). In conclusion, Viktor was courting Jayce in episode two...

but did Jayce pick up on that?

No. I don't think so. See, Jayce *reacts* to Mel's advance. He picks up on the innuendo when Mel makes it and anticipates Mel's kiss. He never seems to have the same reaction to Viktor. Granted, we may never know for sure since the scene cuts before it moves off of Viktor's face. In the shot with Mel, it continues, because she moves to kiss him. Hm. There are conclusions one could draw from that. Did they kiss? Maybe! Probably not, though. Furthermore,

Does Jayce ever fall for Viktor?

Also no. These two scenes are parallel, meaning Jayce is effectively in the exact same scenario both times. While he had changed as a person between the two, I don't think these scenes were meant just to showcase a loss of control or morality in Jayce, but also the fact that Jayce returns Mel's feelings, but not Viktor's.

Similarly, I think the scene backstage of the Progress Day speech in episode four exists to compare Sky's relationship with Viktor to Viktor's relationship with Jayce.

You see I firmly believe that THIS is a direct parallel

To THIS! which happens in the same shot!

What am I trying to get at here? Well, Sky's relationship to Viktor is that she is in love with him, but he doesn't reciprocate. Viktor either does not notice Sky's feelings for him (which seems unlikely considering he is watching her in this scene and pretty directly rejects her when she asks to walk him home later) or is ignoring them because he does not love her and does not want to press that button in her.

I think Jayce is the same way, with the caveat that I genuinely believe he does not realize Viktor has feelings for him. The only reason I think that, is Jayce 'Path of Least Resistance' Talis would recognize the tension Viktor has in regards to him and speak up about it to relieve some of the uncertainty. Maybe that happened off screen, we don't know and never will, but it seems out of character, to me, for Jayce to know (for seven years!) and just leave it to fester (again, for seven years) when he has to work with Viktor every day and cares a great deal about him.

And I think Viktor has realized this in Jayce, and after the time skip no longer holds onto any hope or desire that chasing Jayce will end well for him.

Long post short, I think Viktor was flirting with Jayce in act 1, fell in love with him over the time skip, and shoved his feelings in his back pocket when he realized they were unrequited.

As for my thoughts on Jaymel? I genuinely found her advances creepy when I watched the show for the first time. I interpreted Jayce's attraction as disgust, and I was shocked when he let her kiss him. On further watches, though, I noticed the complexity in their relationship, and even on the first watch, once Mel's perspective had properly been revealed, I really grew to appreciate their relationship in the show. I will always be partial to jayvik, but I would never try to turn the morally gray-ness of their relationship into a black or white issue. It is well written, well placed, and frankly a brilliant plot point. I will always be more interested in her relationship with her mother, though. And as far as shipping her? Well, have you considered how cute her and Sky would be together??? Everything Mel likes in Jayce times 10, and how could Sky not fall for Mel in return? I am aware this sounds like an 'oh no my ship left two women what to do with them oh no' but honestly I would ship them if Jayce and Viktor weren't even in the show. Let me have this crack ship, it's delicious. Its like nerd x jock but with kdrama PUMPED in. on steroids.

Final thoughts:

I will never know if any of that was intended by Riot or Fortiche. I would like to think at least some of it was. I also worry about the implication that Sky will be important to Viktor in season 2- I can only see a few ways that could come about and most of them do not align with the way I see these characters. I trust Arcane to write itself well, I do, but still... girl no...

What I do know, is that I've been listening to "Mmm cheese" the entire time I've been writing this and my brain is begining to melt. like. cheese. so im gonig to turn that off before i revise this post. umn, goodnight everyone!!!

[thefrogdalorian]

I was watching Chapter 15: The Believer yesterday and something stood out to me that I guess I'd never really thought about before...

When the Juggernaut is getting attacked by the Pirates, we see several shots of Din struggling without his armour. It's a new way of fighting for him and he struggles to adapt at first.

He quickly rallies and skilfully fights them off, though. But more pirates soon appear and after fighting them off, Din is thrown backwards. He sees several pirates approaching.

Din lies down in defeat, powerless to fight them off without his armour or weapons. Knowing his death is likely imminent, without hope of survival.

Instead of giving up and accepting defeat, he does not allow himself to wallow in despair and mystery. After sighing deeply he steadies himself and gets right back up:

Facing down death as the pirates approach, he does not show weakness or fear.

He doesn't allow himself to be cowardly, or dwell on his likely impending doom and the fact he has failed in his quest to rescue the child he loves so much...

Instead, Din stands there with his fists up, outnumbered and without weapons, prepared to fight to the end even in the face of certain death...

Fortunately, of course, the TIE Fighters appear to save the day and Din succeeds in his quest to rescue Grogu and, well, you know the rest.

But I think this little moment in one of the best episodes is such a good insight into his character.

Standing up with his fists clenched like that, outnumbered and hopeless but refusing to accept defeat is perhaps one of the most Mandalorian things he's ever done. Yet only a few minutes later he removes his helmet and that act leaves him rendered an apostate in the eyes of his people. Told he is a Mandalorian no more, even.

It's kind of heartbreaking because he really did not deserve to be told that. Mandalorians are proud warriors, who never give up. Being a coward is the worst insult in Mando'a, their ancient language. Here, Din showed that he is nothing of the sort.

Din Djarin is as honourable a Mandalorian as they come.

[upsidedog]

i am so charmed by a lumax wedding because it’s not even something max thought would happen. like she assumed weddings were something the girl makes happen and the guy puts up with. and because she had no desire for one, so there’s no reason it would happen.

among other things weddings are an exorbitant and performative show of love, max loves lucas and she doesn’t care whether or not other people know or believe this. at it’s best marriage to her has been a representation of failed dreams and at it’s worst it’s been a tool to manipulate people who need to get away to stay. maybe they will get married for the tax benefits, she thinks.

this is until max and lucas are older and living together, they’re chilling on the couch and lucas mentions his family has been asking when he’s planning to propose and if that’s something max even wants? max doesn’t care, she doesn’t plan on going anywhere, a certificate won’t change anything and she's not crazy about parties. she doesn’t ask how he feels, he brings it up, that “actually i want a wedding.”

that is saying the least, lucas wants a wedding more than anything. he loves max and he doesn’t need to prove that to anyone, but he’s happy and he wants to share that with others! he wants to work with max to make marriage a positive thing to them, he wants to celebrate their love, everything they’ve been through. also, hell, he’s only human, he wants to show off! he wants to dress really cool and go to a really cool place and show the world know how awesome he and his girlfriend are. HIS WIFE!!!

most of all, lucas wants the moment near the end of the night, where the party’s getting loud and everybody wants his attention, but max asks if he wants to get out of there and he says yes. not out out, just outside the venue. it’s dark and the once booming music is now faint, they sit and catch up, complain about their families, laugh about their friends. max holds lucas’s hand and plays with his wedding ring, she whispers something sweet before asking him to dance. it’s the best part of the night and nobody will know about it but them.

suddenly max decides she wants a wedding.

[tarabyte3]

Amalia, omg, THANK YOU my dear friend 🥹💕

The imagery of water all throughout is so beautiful it’s like you captured the sea as its own character, incredibly powerful and deadly bringing these two together and at the same time almost parting them forever

Yes!! Thank you because that is exactly what I was going for and I'm relieved it came through! I wanted to ascribe a consciousness or intent so that everyone reading felt some degree of the helplessness the characters feel. Because water is such a big thing. It's crucial to our existence and there's so much symbolism associated with it—and the ocean in particular—it’s cleansing and healing, it's birth and rebirth, it’s a reflection of our emotions, it's chaos and power, a force of nature, and it's death, the great equalizer. Something you can be lost to. Just the phrase they use for boats and planes that disappear, “lost at sea,” has always been so chilling and heavy to me. Because we know they aren't lost, not really. And I wanted to play with that idea of lost and found.

And of course, in all of my Kino fics, I always focus on the inside of the prison, but I wanted to finally delve into the line “I can't swim” and what that means for him. Kino’s struggle doesn't end at the front door, you know? So I wanted to write something that embodied all the depth and impact of that line. Something deserving of it, like a love letter to the character. So when this idea hit me, I jumped on it!

Omg Kino’s stubbornness. 😮‍💨🫠 We saw what he was like with Cassian when he thought he was right, so I can just imagine how infuriating he can be when he sets his mind to it. (Which HAS to occasionally translate into angry sex where he's tender and apologetic for being an ass afterwards 😏 It has to, I know it does) But you're absolutely correct, it's also such a coping mechanism for him. It's easier to be a stubborn old man when you're already in so much pain and turmoil and you don't want any more 😭 That man needs a hug!!!

The kiss, yes! Exactly! He just went for it when he saw any softness and vulnerability in her because, like her, he's been starved for it, too. It was easy to hold back while they were in prison and when they were constantly fighting. They both just needed a gap in the armor, or a weakness in the seawall if you will. And I'm so glad you liked that line, “He tastes like drowning.” Because that was one of my all time favorite bits!! I was so proud of it, so it makes me very happy someone else appreciated it 🥹

Him blanketing her: I wanted more of that juxtaposition, even in the smut! Warmth and cold, soft and hard, distance and intimacy. There's so much they want to explore and feel, but they're in a cave and desperate, so the environment and their own emotions are working against them. But all that tenderness is still there beneath the surface! There's potential and promise in it. They’ve survived. They will continue to survive!

Thank you so much for your kind words, omg. 😭🙏 You're so sweet!! I’m going to cherish this forever. And while I wanted this to be a love letter to Kino as a character, I also write for all of you as a thank you for your community and your support and for inspiring me so much with your thoughts, ideas, and our old man thirst hours. 💖🫶 So thank you again!

Remember You Are Half Water

Pairing: Kino Loy x f!Reader

(7.2 k words)

AO3 link

Summary: Drowning is easy. It's surviving that's hard. Or: After the prison break, you and Kino hide out on Narkina 5.

Warnings: (18+) Explicit, angst, enemies to lovers (kind of), they argue and not in the flirty way, vaginal sex, rough sex, unprotected sex, grim realism, survival situation, descriptions of drowning, descriptions of resuscitation, cpr, thoughts of death, thoughts of dying, talk of dying, mentions of suicidal thoughts, mentions of imprisonment, themes of death, themes of drowning, description of pain, dreams, nightmares, illness, self-indulgent melancholia

A/N: I accidentally wrote this after getting a random idea in my head while working on I Want You to Show Me Weak (my brain will do anything but finish a fic 😌), so have a surprise Kino oneshot. Just please mind the tags, especially with the events currently happening in the real world. This isn't a dark fic, but the tone is quite grim. (Mostly. I am still a filthy hopeless romantic, after all.) Also, I'm well aware of what Narkina 5 is supposed to look like, however I simply Do Not care 😌

Fic title is from The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood. Collage quote from Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Ocean.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me) it’s always ourselves we find in the sea

- e.e. cummings, maggie and milly and molly and may

Your lungs burn.

There's a weight across your shoulders, pulling you down and under the waves. Your arms are spent and heavy with exhaustion. You have no idea how long you’ve been swimming—dragging something through the water, but your muscles are on fire. Your lungs are on fire. It would be so easy to just give up.

To just let go.

Because you're so tired. You’ve heard drowning isn't so bad. Like going to sleep, they say. You can do that. That's nothing compared to this.

You catch sight of a face at your side, barely breaching the surface. His face. His eyes are closed and his mouth is slack. Like he's sleeping.

You go back to swimming.

“Breathe, goddamn you!” You sob. Even though you're numb from the cold, your hand is trembling as you pound against his back with your fist. Between the shoulder blades, behind his lungs. Every hit makes a wet slap. His white uniform is soaked through and nearly translucent. It clings to him. The water, greedy, still won't let him go. “Don't you fucking do this, you prick! Wake up!”

He doesn't flinch under your assault. Not even when you roll him back over onto the rocky sand and press a rhythm into his ribs.

This is worse, you think, because now you can see his face and feel the ghost of his angry stare, even through his closed eyelids. His skin is grey and clammy, his lips nearly blue, and his beard and hair are slick and dark with water. His expression is relaxed. Peaceful. Not asleep. He's never looked like that before. This isn't how he's supposed to look.

The only movement beneath your hands is the jolt of his body from the compressions.

You let out a scream of frustration.

The waves lap at your face, forcing salt up your nose on an inhale. You splutter, losing your grip on that arm slung around your shoulders, and for a moment it slips. You kick frantically at the water as you scramble for him.

“No—” Your voice gets choked off by the whitecap of another wave.

You grab at his face, drive it back above the surface, even as you plunge below it. Whatever else you were going to shout is lost in a cloud of bubbles. You're the only thing keeping him from sinking to the bottom now. Just you, clinging to the hope of life.

You can't think about that dead weight.

You fight back to the surface with a cough, spitting out a mouthful of saltwater. You have to keep moving. You have to keep—

You’re being shaken awake. The hand on your shoulder is warm, but the grip is almost harsh—unforgiving as the fingers dig into your flesh.

You blink your eyes open to find Kino staring down at you with a frown. The light from the small fire throws shadows across his face and deepens the lines at the corners of his eyes and mouth and along his forehead, making him look even more severe than he usually does.

“You were dreaming again,” he grumbles. Then he releases your shoulder without warning, nearly shoving away from you in the process, and he shuffles back across to his side of the small cave to resume lying down.

Now that you're conscious, all of your injuries and pains from the past few days come rushing back to fill your awareness. You let out a groan as you push yourself up off the cold stone floor. Not that sitting is any better—there’s a rock digging into your ass to prove your point, and you send it skittering. It doesn't make a difference. With a sigh, you rub the heels of your hands into your heavy eyelids in an attempt to clear the blurriness from your vision.

“Sorry,” you try, your voice hoarse with sleep. You quickly clear your throat and try again. “Didn't mean to wake you.”

He only grunts in response.

The sky at the mouth of the cave is a slate grey. It’s been raining the last few days—as if the water is trying to follow you ashore—so you aren't sure if the muted light is the growing dawn or due to the thick storm clouds that leave the landscape darkened, no matter where the sun is overhead. It's made everything damp and chilly, and you can feel it in every joint and bone. Between that, your desperate and adrenaline fueled escape from the prison, nearly drowning, and laying on the hard, rocky ground, your entire body aches.

You're both still wearing your white and orange uniforms, though they're worn and filthy now. More brown than white. The fabric is also next to useless outside of a temperature controlled environment, but you have nothing else to keep you warm and nothing at all for your feet. You’d gotten lucky that there had been driftwood piled inside the seaside cave, brought in by the tide and left safe from the rain. Kino had found several more pieces along the beach on that first day and dragged them into the shelter to dry out. Neither of you dared to venture any further afterwards, either from fear or exhaustion.

The last of the wood is burning between you, and, when it’s gone, there won't be anything left to keep the chill at bay. You know you’ll have to recommend sharing body heat at some point soon, but you're reluctant to do so because you also know it won't go over well. You're certain it's the last thing he wants, even if the alternative is stubbornly dying from exposure.

“Think they’ve moved on yet?” You ask, just to have something to distract you from your thoughts.

“Doubt it,” he replies in that gruff voice.

“Yeah,” you sigh. You slump forward and let your forearms rest on your knees, suddenly weary. “But we're going to have to leave eventually. We need food and real shelter.”

“You’re too weak to walk it,” he says to the cave wall.

“I’m fine,” you insist.

Kino's head whips around, and he meets your eyes with a glare. “No, you're not.” You let out a noise of disgust before you can reconsider, and his jaw clenches in response. “You nearly died.”

“Don’t start this again.” You mean it as a plea, but it comes out merely resigned in your exhaustion. You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve had this argument since you first woke up to him coughing and shouting on the beach. You don't want to have it again.

“Like you’d listen anyway,” he says. And then he scowls, like you're the problem.

Alright, maybe you'll have it one more time.

“Gods, that bit of power really did go straight to your thick skull didn't it?” You laugh in disbelief. “Why can't you just accept that it was my choice? Mine!”

“I’m well aware of your poor decision making!” He shoots back. Then he sits up to face you, and now it's a proper fight, you think. “I’ve already told you, no one was supposed to die because of me!”

“And I already told you to get over yourself!” You fight the urge to roll your eyes. “Do I look fucking dead to you? Hmm?”

“Don't act like it wasn't a close call!”

“I never said it wasn't.” You pinch at the bridge of your nose in an attempt to keep your frustration at bay. Screaming won't make him listen to reason, no matter how good it will feel. “What would you have had me do, Kino? Just let you drown?”

“Yes,” he replies without hesitation.

“Well, I didn't.” Your arm flops to your side, too heavy to hold up now. “So maybe you should just consider being fucking grateful instead.”

“I didn't ask for this!” He snaps. It's followed by an immediate look of regret.

Oh. That's new. You take a moment to study his face—the way he can suddenly no longer meet your eyes, like he's ashamed of all things.

“What the fuck is your problem?”

You ignore his sardonic, “You.”

Because you don't understand him. Is he really this upset or his pride so wounded over the fact that he needed to be saved? Is he truly this angry just because someone—or more specifically you—saw him when he was weak after being in control for so long? Those are convenient reasons. They're probably even contributing to his horrid mood, but they don't feel as if they’re the reason. It's almost as if—

“You wanted to die.” The shocked realization tumbles from your lips before you can stop it.

There's a long, deafening beat of silence.

“You don't know what you're talking about,” he says quietly as he gathers those strong arms around himself and crosses them like a shield.

Part of your mind is screaming at you to just drop it. You’ve entered new territory. You've never made him defensive like this before, and you don't know how he'll react. But based on all of your previous interactions with him, you know it won't be pleasant. Which is an understatement. The stubborn part of you, however, hopes that this means you're actually making progress. And if you’ve come this far…

“Is that why you won't even try to leave this shit hole again?” You press. “Is that why you're trading one prison for another?”

“That has nothing to do with this,” he says as he narrows his eyes at you, and you're almost disappointed to hear some of his anger returning.

“Yeah right,” you scoff.

“Listen, neither of us is in any condition to evade the searches. All we’re going to accomplish is getting caught.” It sounds almost reasonable, but you know better. You know it for what it really is: a deflection. You did hit a nerve.

“That's only going to get worse,” you argue back. “The lack of food is going to weaken us further, assuming we don't freeze to death first.”

“And it will still be easier if we're not being hunted. We have to be patient,” he says as his frown deepens, frustration beginning to take root once again. “Let them think we’re dead or gone.”

“And how long will that take? Days? Weeks?”

“A hell of a lot longer than three days!”

“Fine. Then we should at least go out and do some scouting so we have an idea of which way to go when the time comes,” you offer instead. “We might even find supplies.”

“It's too risky,” he says dismissively as he waves you off. You bristle against the gesture. “We’re safe here. The cave entrance is hard to find, but if we go in and out too often, we’ll draw attention to ourselves.”

“There's always going to be risk, Kino, whether we leave tonight or a week from now. If we wait, it could be too late,” you point out. “For all we know, the Empire is sending a blockade to keep us all trapped here! Then what?”

“They aren't going to send a blockade for a prison break,” he scoffs.

“And how can you possibly know that?”

“How can you?”

“Why is it so hard for you to trust me?” You hate the hint of misery that seeps into your voice and betrays how much that idea pains you.

“Why should I? If I recall correctly, your judgment has nearly gotten you killed once already,” he says in a mocking tone.

You glare at him. “My judgment saved both our lives.”

He glares right back. “I'm starting to think that was sheer dumb luck.”

Oh, how fucking dare he. After everything you went through—

“I didn't realize you were such a coward,” you say coldly, desperate to hurt him as much as he's hurt you.

The tendons in his neck go taut with rage. “Fuck you,” he spits, but he no more than gets the words out when he's racked with a violent coughing fit. The force of it makes him double over onto the cave floor, and his body heaves with each one.

You wince at the sight, feeling ashamed of your comment now. You didn't want this.

The coughing spells are a parting gift from Narkina 5—the water still won't let him go. He's had a few of them since you got him to shore and forced the ocean from his lungs, and each one sounds a little bit worse than the one before. You're no healer, but that's obviously not a good sign. He needs medicine. You also haven't broached the subject with him because you know it will just start a fight.

As if everything you say doesn't start a fight.

You lean back to wait it out, letting your head thunk tiredly against the cave wall. There's nothing you can do to help him and trying will only make it worse—you learned that the hard way. Plus, it doesn't seem fair to argue with him while he's like this, even if you're only doing it to get through to him for his own good, the stubborn jerk.

It takes several minutes before he finally stops coughing long enough to get his breathing under control. Then he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, rights himself with as much dignity as he can muster, and gives you a cold, hard stare. “Go, then, if you're in such a hurry to end up back in a cell,” he grits out, his voice a strained, wet gravel.

“Fine,” you huff, pushing yourself to your feet. “Stay here and waste away if you want. See if I care. I can find a way off this slag heap by myself.”

You almost make it past the mouth of the cave.

The moment your foot touches the rain slicked rock, the combination of fatigue and an unsteady gait causes you to slip. You hit the ground with a grunt, landing hard on your hip. Sharp, hot pain shoots through the joint, curling up your spine and down your leg. The shock of it takes your breath away, and your eyes sting with fresh tears.

Oh, brilliant, you think caustically. Of all the times to fall on your ass.

Behind you, Kino swears. A second later, you hear the slap of his bare feet on rock as he stomps towards you.

“Broken?” He doesn't quite snap the question at you, but it's a near thing.

“No,” you choke out.

“You have a fucking death wish,” he growls before he hauls you to a sitting position.

Despite the pain, that statement makes you laugh, though it's a bitter, near hysterical sound. You tilt your head back to grin up at him. “Guess we make quite the pair, huh?”

He doesn't respond.

He just shoves his hands under your armpits in an attempt to get a grip on you with those thick fingers. Then your laughter quickly dissolves into a wounded hiss as he drags you back into the cave with no care for your new injury. You're not sure why you suddenly expected him to start coddling you. He never did before.

He dumps you back into the spot you’ve been occupying, glad to be rid of you, and you catch yourself with your hands before you land in a heap.

“Asshole,” you mutter under your breath.

After that, neither of you speaks for a while, content to sit and lick your wounds in what passes for peace now. Eventually, the pain in your hip lessens to a dull throb and the fire is reduced to embers, the long hours sucking the heat out of both.

Outside, the sky has gotten a bit lighter, but is still that dreary mask of grey that makes time feel nebulous. Unknowable. The rain, at least, had turned into a mist about an hour ago. Without the sound of the drops echoing throughout the cave, the silence is unforgiving. Every shuffle along the rock, every sniffle or sigh, every brush of clothes is harsh between you.

“Why are you so mad at me?” You finally ask, desperate for any noise that isn't him heavily exhaling a whistle through his nose.

“I already told you,” he replies, emotionless.

“I’m not talking about that,” you sigh. “You hated me the moment I stepped onto the floor.”

In the low light, there's a brief look of shock on his profile before his scowl returns in full force. “I didn't hate you.”

“Yes you did. You could barely look at me. And you yelled at me all the time.” He opens his mouth to protest, but you continue on so he can't interrupt you. “Look, I understand, in a way. I was slower than nearly all of the men, and you were pissed about being stuck with me. But it's not like I did it on purpose.”

“It wasn't that.” There's a renewed touch of exasperation in his voice. You're intimately familiar with that tone. You’ve heard the way he normally sounds when speaking to other people—got to see what it was like without ever experiencing it yourself—but you’ve never spoken to him without receiving either his impatience or his distaste. You prepare yourself for another fight.

“Then why? Because I was a distraction?” Your bitterness bleeds from you, an anguish built from months of labor and fear. And loneliness, you think. Because, even though you’d been constantly surrounded by people, you’d never felt so completely and utterly alone.

“It's nothing.” He rolls onto his side to face the cave wall, intent on ignoring you.

“It clearly wasn't nothing,” you respond dryly.

“Just drop it,” he says over his shoulder.

“No.” You cross your arms. You're done listening to him just because he tells you to. You don't have to now. You're not in there anymore. “After everything, I think I deserve to know what I did to have you treat me that way.”

“And I don't want to fucking talk about it,” he growls.

“Well, too damn bad! Because there's nothing else to talk about, and I want to know why you hated me when all I wanted was—” You cut yourself off with a hitched breath before you accidentally finish that sentence.

Fighting is one thing. That's easy. Safe. But this is something big and messy that you're still trying to come to terms with, made all the more complicated by your current situation, which was already plenty complicated before. This will only make things worse. You know it will. And despite all the hurtful things you’ve said to each other, you wouldn't be able to stomach his rejection. His pity. His disgust—couldn’t handle being forced to endure it while stuck in this damned cave and made to wallow in the forced intimacy of the space that's anything but. No, this is the one truth you could never take back.

To your embarrassment, your voice is rough and raw with emotion when you speak again. “When all I wanted was to be treated like a person.”

“If that's what you wanted, you were in the wrong place,” he says coldly to the cave wall. “Now shut up and let me sleep.”

“No!” You shout. You no longer care if you’re being petulant because you are angry about it. You’ve been holding onto the feeling for months, but you're tired now. You don't want to carry it around anymore. “I won't let you bully me into silence. I want the truth.”

“Keep your voice down!” He hisses as he flings himself upright to glare at you. Every bit of him is rigid with tension. Dangerous. At least he's looking at you again.

“Then answer me!” You stubbornly glare back at him. “You owe me that much.”

“Fine! I was afraid, alright?” He finally snarls, reminding you of a cornered animal, spitting as it lashes out. “Is that what you want to hear? That you were right? That I'm a coward?”

“What?” All of your anger leaves you in a sudden rush. The hiding, the running, the water—that fear you can understand. But this? You stare at him in genuine confusion. “Why?”

“Because I was scared shitless about what could happen to you! That place was cruel to the men it was designed for. Whatever it had in store for you was going to be much worse. I thought…” He runs a hand down his face and over the scruff of his beard, now grown out beyond a neat trim. The action wipes his own anger away, and underneath it is something human: exhaustion and vulnerability. “I thought, if I kept you at a distance, it would hurt less when it finally broke you, but you made it so damn hard.”

“Oh,” you breathe out in shock, as though you’ve just had the wind knocked out of you. You have, in a way, because, gods, what can you possibly say to that? It's the last thing you were expecting—realistically, you thought he was worried your lack of strength or speed would get someone else killed. This, however…you couldn't have even imagined this. The implication of it… “Kino—”

“Don't. Okay?” He cuts you off. And then he turns away to shut you out as well. “Just…fucking don't.”

So instead you sit there in the uneasy quiet of the cave, feeling adrift. Helpless. Like you're right back in the middle of the ocean, at the mercy of the waves, with nothing to hold onto to keep from sinking; there’s only water in your fumbling grasp. At least then you'd known which way you were supposed to go, it was the getting there that was the problem. Now you don't even have that. You wonder if you’d have the energy to even try if you did.

A part of you wants nothing more than to reexamine every interaction, every look, and every word he’s ever spoken to you and see what you might uncover that you'd missed, but you can't do that with him right there. His presence just muddles everything up until you can't help but mix reality and memory, past and present, assumption and realization. You're nearly dizzy with it.

Plus, knowing that things weren't so black and white between you doesn't change what happened or how you feel. You’ve been hurting and angry for a while—especially at him, and most of which he still deserves for how he treated you. That something more existed lessens the intensity of those feelings, but it doesn't erase them completely. Not yet. Reconciling what you know and what you thought you knew will only come with time.

To the rest of you, however, that reconciliation doesn't seem as important as your fear at almost losing him or the realization that there is something more than just hatred on his end. Even if that thing is nothing more than kindness and compassion, it's something. And you could have died not knowing that. Or worse, you could have lived without knowing instead.

Gods, complicated is an understatement. If only you could have wanted something easy for once. You wonder if he thought the same thing as he watched you from across the work floor. And it feels odd to think that maybe it's not such an unrealistic hope anymore.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, breaking the silence between you at last.

He laughs, and it manages to sound condescending. The familiarity of it is grounding. “What do you have to be sorry about?”

“I guess…” What are you apologizing for? For misunderstanding him? For making his life harder, even if it wasn't your fault? For not agreeing with him? For being unable to shoulder his anger? For continuing to push and push and push. Maybe all of it, you realize. For your part in the making of this. “I guess for saving you when you didn't want me to,” you answer with a shrug instead.

At first, you think he isn't going to respond to that, and you can no longer find it in yourself to blame him. But then, with a voice that’s softer than you’ve ever heard from him—weren’t even sure he was capable of it—he says, “It's not that I didn't want to be saved.”

“Then why? Help me to understand, Kino,” you plead, praying that he won't clam up or lash out again. Not when you've come so far. “Please.”

He gives you a heavy, resigned look before settling his attention on the cave entrance where his gaze becomes unseeing. Though there are only a few feet between you, he suddenly seems miles away.

“When we were planning all of this, I knew what was waiting for us on the outside. I mean, they built the fucking thing in the middle of an ocean and I can't swim. How ironic is that? All that work, and I was gonna make it to the door just to drown.” Then, quietly, “I never gave a thought to what I would do if I didn't. Now I've got no clue what comes next.”

“Neither do I,” you say in disbelief.

He lets out a dark laugh. “Sure don't act like it,” he mutters.

“I’m just better at hiding it.” You give him a small smile that he cannot see.

“Maybe I should be, too,” he muses to himself. “It’d be a hell of a lot better than feeling so lost.”

“Hiding it doesn't make that go away,” you say sadly. You know that all too well.

His only reply is a non-committal hum, and it suddenly occurs to you that he has no clue what you actually went through. How could he? He lept into the water and woke up on shore with nothing but darkness in between. All he knows is that you saved him. Without the rest, he thinks he's struggling alone.

“I almost gave up, you know,” you admit quietly.

That gets his attention again. He turns to look at you, and his eyes are wide with fear and concern. “What?” He gasps.

“I could barely see the shore when the adrenaline wore off. When faced with that distance, all that water, and no strength left?” You shrug in an attempt to seem unbothered, even as the memory fills you with dread. “For one horrible moment, I suppose drowning just seemed easier.” Like going to sleep, you don't say. “But I couldn't. I looked at you, and I couldn't. Not without trying first. And before you say anything, leaving you behind was never an option. Not for me. If this place was going to win, it was going to have to take us both.”

“I never wanted that,” he says helplessly. “When I came to and saw you laying there, I thought you were dead.” His voice breaks and he takes in a deep, shaky breath, but it does little to steady him. “I knew then what you did for me, and I thought it killed you. That after everything, it was me. I broke you, and it wasn't worth it. Not me.”

“You didn't,” you insist, desperate to make him listen. You recognize that despair because it's the same one that haunts your dreams and doesn't let go when you're awake. It's the same fear that grips your chest in icy fingers whenever you catch his sleeping face or you're forced to sit by and listen to him cough—the water still won't let him go. You understand now that he needs the reassurance that it's over just as much as you do. So you push yourself to your knees and dare to move closer, despite the protest of your aching body. “I’m right here. See? I was just tired afterwards, that's all. Just tired. I’m right here.”

Without warning, he reaches for you, and, even though he's never harmed you, you flinch thinking maybe you’ve finally pushed him too far. Only, he grabs the front of your uniform and pulls you to him, just as unkindly as he dragged you across the cave. And then you think he's going to scream again, but when he opens his mouth, he leans in and crushes your lips together instead.

You freeze against him.

Because Kino Loy is kissing you, and that can't be right. He hates you. His mouth can only scowl and scream and cough and—there’s a little grunt from the back of his throat as he adjusts the angle of your lips, and, oh, this is real. Without another thought, you're kissing him back.

At first, there's only tentative relief—at the reassurance, the sensation, at finally getting something you want—but heat starts to build in the breath-humid space between your bodies the longer you kiss and kiss. Something born of more than lust or desire. And though they flicker in your belly as well, it's a bone deep desperation to feel alive that drives you forward and aches to be quelled.

When you break apart to catch your breath, he rests his forehead against yours. Close enough for your noses to brush together and to feel each hard exhale—that blessed, life sustaining air—across your skin.

“I’m sorry,” he says with a sob. His voice is low and thick with grief against your mouth. The sound and shape of it is so different from his anger—in the low light, only a ghost of that harshness is left, clinging to the shadowy lines of his face. You don't have to ask what he's apologizing for.

“Show me,” you whisper back. You let your lips brush over his again in invitation. He responds by delving into the wet heat of your mouth and wrapping you in his arms with a moan.

So you give yourself over to the exploration of his tongue against yours and his large, callus roughened hands as they engulf the sides of your face, caught in the whirlwind of him. It leaves you breathless faster than you like, and when you break for air again, you don't want to give him a moment to change his mind or to pull away completely. So your mouth wanders to his cheeks, the scruff on his jaw, his Adam's apple, the hollow of his throat above the collar of his uniform—seeking out every bit of him that you can reach as he pants and swallows beneath your lips.

He smells like sweat and smoke and saltwater, and his skin is sharp and briny on your tongue as you lap at a spot on his neck. He tastes like drowning, and for a moment you're lost in the memory of him in the water, his weight pulling you beneath the waves. His lifeless face staring up at you from the shore. But then he sucks in a sharp breath, jolting you back to the present, and his lips are on yours again. Warm. Alive. Not the cold flesh you forced air through. Not the same shared breath.

“Wanna see you,” you gasp into his mouth as you lift at the hem of his shirt.

Without a word, he moves to obey.

You both peel away your filthy uniforms with trembling hands, revealing bodies that are just as dirty and unwashed to the chilled air, but beneath all of that is color. His flush of arousal. Bruises that are starting to fade, a gruesome rainbow of healing. The shadows playing in the shifting of muscle as he reaches for you to pull you back into the warmth of his arms. Alive.

He's the first soft thing you’ve touched after days of nothing but rock. And before that, months of only tools and labor and struggle. You bask in the sensation: The greying hair on his chest, the roundness of his belly and hips, salt dried skin, his palm on your cheek. The other on your thigh. He’s softer than you remember from when you were hauling him through the waves—

You wrap your hand around his cock, and his heartbeat throbs in your fist. Alive.

He lets out a groan when you stroke him, something deep and guttural that rumbles through the cave like thunder. The sound sends blood and heat rushing to your core, where it pools between your thighs and leaves you aching and empty. You tease the silken foreskin over his length and work your thumb along the underside of the swollen head just to hear more of it.

With a growl, he falls upon you, pulling you in for a bruising kiss, all teeth and tongues and hunger. His hand cups the swell of your breast while his thumb circles your nipple. You cry out and arch into the roughness of his hand. Then you're both eagerly groping and learning all the ways you can draw more noises from each other until you're left squirming against the insistent throbbing between your legs.

“I want you inside of me,” you murmur into his mouth.

He clenches his eyes shut as his breath hitches, and you're thrilled you can get that reaction out of him. But then he opens his eyes again and, in a shaky voice, asks, “You're sure?”

“Yes!” You growl, impatient. “Fuck me, Kino.”

He lets out a groan. “If you keep that up, I’m not gonna last very long.”

“Don't care as long as your cock is inside me first.”

“Fuck!” He hisses. His hips involuntarily jerk forward at the thought, and said cock grinds into the bend of your groin. “Then I'll give you what you want.”

After that reaction, you think he's going to throw you down and do just that. Instead, his touch gentles, his palm cradling the base of your skull as he lays you out along the rock. The movement doesn't make you feel delicate or like something that's injured and cowering in a cave, but rather like something to be revered.

This is his apology.

A caress along your inner knee has your legs falling open, leaving you exposed before him. Before you can be self-conscious about it, he gives your arousal a heated look that drives the thought from your mind. Then he traces a fingertip up the tender skin of your thigh, and fire licks from your thigh to your belly.

For a moment, you wonder what it would be like to have this on the other side of the galaxy. Not in a cave, but in a bed, warm and clean with a full stomach. Maybe it would be sweet like this between you the whole time rather than something that's taking an effort just to maintain. Because you know this is only a moment—a reprieve. It can't last, not when that cold desperation and panic are rebuilding within your gut.

It's a lovely thought. But by the time he kneels between your thighs, you need again. You pull him down and he goes willingly, falling to brace his hands on the stony ground on either side of your shoulders. Then you hold your breath as he closes the distance, slowly, until the length of his cock is resting and throbbing, flush against your sex.

Your hips grind up against him, trapping him between your heat and his belly so that when he thrusts back, seeking more, he drags himself along your wet folds; the sensitive head of his cock rubs against your clit. Both of you moan, wounded and strangled sounds. So he does it again. And again. Over and over until you're both gasping and shuddering at the slick friction.

All the while he stares down at you, studying you. Taking in the way your face contorts and breaks with pleasure. His eyes are sea blue, you realize—the water, greedy—so wild and deep and pulling you in. It sets your pulse racing and makes your palms sweat against his shoulders. You turn away from the intensity in that gaze.

“No.” To your surprise, he takes your chin between his finger and thumb, not gentle but steady, and he forces you to look anyway. To face him. “Let me see you.”

He holds you there with the weight of his body as he shifts to nudge at your opening. It's so close to what you need. Your legs wrap around his waist in silent encouragement. Then, once he's lined up, he sinks forward with a groan and stretches you open on his cock until you're aching and full.

His mouth goes slack. Those eyes become heavy and lidded. Not closed—alive. Which makes all the difference to your wounded mind. So you drink in the sight of him like this, buried in the tight embrace of your cunt. A ruinous look.

You're drowning again.

It scares you, just how much you want to give yourself over and let go. How easy it would be to become lost. To believe that this is something more than desperation. But then his eyes refocus and whatever tenderness had gripped him is absent from that gaze. In its place is hunger. Need. Urgency.

“Gods, you're so tight,” he grinds out from behind clenched teeth as he gives a shallow thrust into you. The sound goes straight to your core, soaking him further. “Feels so good.”

Then he finally—finally—fucks you. Hard and fast.

The ground is cold and unrelenting beneath your spine where you're folded and crushed against it. Above you, he's blanketing you in heat and the delicious slide of flesh along your nerves. A lovely contrast already, but then his hand finds your hip, his fingers digging into your fresh bruise, and you gasp from the pain—it hurts, but if it hurts that means you're alive. He doesn't stop at the sound. Instead, there's understanding in those eyes as he pulls you in to meet each plunge of his cock, and, oh, that's even better.

You spare a thought for his knees right before he shifts. Then he's dragging against that spot inside of you, and your mind goes blissfully empty with pleasure. Your head falls back, weightless with it. At that opening, he buries his face in your neck, muffling every grunt into your skin. He presses the vibrations of them into your flesh and bones alongside his exhales, the scrape of his beard, the unconscious skim and purse of his lips. You shiver.

You won't come from this alone, but you don't care. This is enough. You just need to feel something—need the proof that he's alive. That you're alive. That this IS real and not some drawn out hallucination your dying brain came up with between the span of one heartbeat and your last.

But it has to be real. Even in your darkest moments, alone in your cell, you never allowed yourself to want this—the thing you could not have. The galaxy had been cruel enough on its own without any assistance from you. So there were no images or dreams in your mind to conjure this from. Which means these messy kisses, the wet noise of your joining, your sweat slicked skin, his hair, salt-stiffened and curled between your fingers, must be real. It also means every moment of this is new and unburdened by expectation or comparison.

It's everything else that haunts you.

All too soon, and just as promised, his body grows tense, and he starts to tremble above you. Between your exhaustion and his unrelenting pace, this was never intended to last. And he's so close, but when he meets your eyes, you see hesitation. Uncertainty. When he moves to pull away, you realize he means to finish by stroking and spilling himself across your belly instead. But that isn't what you need.

“No! Don’t,” you beg. Your legs tighten around his waist, and you grasp at his neck and shoulders, unwilling to let him go with a strength that surprises you both. Then you roll your hips and grind yourself onto his cock, dragging a hiss out of him. “I want to feel you.”

He groans as he yields to your plea, too near that edge to argue, so he falls right back into a punishing rhythm. Yet underneath the hunger and determination, there's anguish now, too. As if by doing this, he remains afraid he'll break you somehow. Still, he clings to your hips as every thrust turns short and sharp with purpose until, at last, he buries himself fully and chases that relief in the depths of your cunt.

When he comes, the only sound he makes is a harsh sob. And then his cock is pulsing inside of you, filling you with warmth. Life.

Alive. Alive. Alive.

He collapses heavily at your side with a few wet coughs, spent and too exhausted to hold himself up any longer. You lay there for a moment, listening to his ragged breathing, unsure of what comes next. You're afraid he’ll push you away once his mind clears. That he’ll go back to hating you from across the cave, now muggy with the scent of sex, as his come leaks down your thighs.

He doesn't.

Instead, he holds his arms open in silent invitation and you realize he's offering you a choice: move forward with or without him. And this time, you know he accepts that it's your decision to make. But you’ve already made this choice once, when you watched him slip beneath the waves. When you dove for him in the water, hauled him back out of it, and then forced it from his lungs. It was just as easy to make then. Maybe now he’ll understand what it means.

You go to him and curl against him in acceptance. He kisses the fragile skin of your temple, and then he helps you get settled by tucking your head under his chin and rubbing warmth in a soothing pattern along your stone chilled back. Your hand finds his waist. His leg entangles with yours. Back and forth until there's nothing but drying sweat between you, as if you have always fit together in this way.

You want to savor this. More than that, you want to have this if you can. If he’ll let you. If he doesn't go back to holding you at a distance out of habit and self-preservation in a day or so, always waiting for the worst to happen and scared of the hurt that might follow. As if anything could be worse than losing him now. Then he really would be the thing that broke you. A self fulfilling prophecy. You almost want to laugh at the irony.

All at once, the silence feels heavier than you can bear.

“Never again tell me you aren't worth it,” you whisper fiercely to the cave. “You are to me.”

He doesn't respond, but the hand splayed over your ribs twitches before clutching you tighter.

“We’ll try in the morning,” he says quietly instead. Under your ear, the compromise rumbles loudly throughout his chest. Beneath that, his steady heartbeat.

His statement doesn't fill you with anything as naive as hope. The Empire is still looking for you, and they aren't ever going to stop now. You’ve only traded imprisonment for the illusion of freedom. The thought claws at you, threatens to pull you under. But there's an arm around your shoulders that squeezes as it holds you close, and you remember that you can't let go. You can't lose him. You won't. You have to keep moving.

“In the morning,” you agree.

"Hey,” he said, half-asleep, “what were you before me?” “I think I was drowning.” A pause. “And what are you now?” he whispered, sinking. I thought for a second. “Water."

- Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous

A/N: The song for this fic is Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish btw.

[crazylittlejester]

Warriors who knows he’s gorgeous and uses it to his advantage vs. Time who’s the most stunning man on the planet but completely unaware of it and is just absolutely oblivious to the fact that he gets hit on almost every single time he, Wars, and Twi go out for drinks because he honest to god just thinks people are being nice and friendly

and no matter how many times someone (Warriors) has been like “hey man, they were fucking flirting with you”, he is unable to recognize it the next time it happens. Warriors thinks he a lost cause, and Malon has definitely sat there more than once and watched someone hit on Time and shoot their shot, not realizing he’s married. and she just laughed her ass off because Time wouldn’t get the hint if it slapped him in the fucking face, bless his heart, and she’s had to go and rescue him because he just seriously cannot tell when people are hitting on him. He’s definitely embarrassed about it every single time it happens, but he just does not get it

is he smooth as fuck when HE’S flirting with his wife? absolutely. can he figure out when anyone is flirting with him? absolutely not.

[wis-art]

Women, so pretty, so shaped, i am so lesbian,,,

[moeblob]

Oh that's a dwagon! (they're so cute!)

Siblings that hoot and holler together, stay together. (thank you so much!! I love these silly lil kids)

[aster-wright-writes]

I'm going to do it anyway

Okay, so I'm going to give a review of each of the series in Dawn of X (including HOX and POX)

House of X: Six issues long. 8/10: Fantastic. It starts the new status quo with a bang. That first issue alone is incredible; the reveal with Moira is super exciting and recontextualizes a lot. It's a fantastic start to the new era.

Powers of x: Six issues long 6.5/10: It was really interesting, but paired with HOX, it kind of ruined the momentum for me. I thought it was a cool writing choice to have us see where the series begins and ends, but personally, I just enjoyed HOX more. I might enjoy it as a reread once I finish all of Krakow, but for right now, it is just good.

X-men: 11 issues long, 8/10: This is the flagship series, and it does its job well. It works as sort of an anthology, where many of the issues are self-contained but introduce some of the concepts that will be found in the era. (I.E., the summoner, orchis, the vault. and most importantly Arrako) overall a good display of characters and their relationships while also showing some idea of what to expect for the era.

New Mutants: 12 issues long, 3/10: one of my big hot takes of the list. I really did not like New Mutants that much; according to one of my friends, I would need to wait until Vita Ayala takes the wheel, but for now, I just couldn't get into it. This is likely because I don't know any of these characters apart from Magik, but even then, if this is supposed to be your introduction to the characters, you should work to make them interesting. full disclosure I ended up not finishing this series so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

X-force: 12 Issues long, 7.5/10: the mutant CIA? What could go wrong? This is a pretty good series; it uses the concepts of resurrection brought up in HOX in exciting ways and proves that just because Jonathan Hickman has introduced basically immortality, that doesn't mean he has erased the stakes. One of the reasons I love this series is how they handled Domino's trauma. They handled it incredibly well, and I respect their nuanced approach.

Fallen Angels: 6 issues long, 7/10: I only hear a little about this series, which is weird because I liked it a lot. The gritty art style was fantastic, and the story was super interesting. Seeing Kwannon's character and personality in action was fascinating, and seeing her go up against an enemy like this one was so cool. I just really wish we got more of it.

Excalibur: 12 issues long, 10/10: Genuinly fantastic. my favorite series out of the run HOLY SHIT. so I have met Tini Howard the author at 2 seperate cons and she has been so nice to me both times, so not only is she a fantastic writer but fantastic person as well. okay onto the book. it's like if X-men became a fantasy novel (even more than it already is) it takes place in otherworld (essentially Camelot. and deals with Betsy Braddock the new captain Britain ballence her loyalty to krakoa, otherworld, and Britain. it also has an absolutly stacked team with apocalypse now working with the hero's, the ever fun jubilee, and one of my favorite mutant power couples Rouge and Gambit.

Marauders: 12 issues long, 9/10: it's mutant pirates; what more could you want. My second favorite series is Dawn of X, about Kate Pryde traveling around the world with her crew and rescuing mutants from foreign governments. Not only is this one of the funniest series, but the downtime we see between the crew is also charming. It has an entertaining team, and we also get to know how the Hellfire Club is running now that it has rebranded; with the Hellfire Club comes one of my favorite mutants ever... emma frost; if frost is what you want, then a double helping of iceman and Emma should keep you fed for days. Now, it's not all fun and games; there is a specific moment in these issues that will make you super emotional, I won't spoil it, but the moment is super well done, and its ripple effects through the following matters are great to read,

Wolverine: Five issues long, 6/10: Another hot take. So, I love Wolverine. I've loved him for a while, and the fact that he is my type doesn't hurt at all. However, I also think he works best when he is on a team. and while he did have people to bounce off of in this series, I think I overall preferred it when he was on a team and working with people when it's just him it kinda feels very serious all the time. Still, he can let loose a bit when he's with others. The second story arc, with Wolverine fighting the vampires, was awesome, though.

Hellions: 4 issues long. 7/10: so this is just the beginning of the series, but I am only counting the problems in Dawn of X. First, I love the concept of villains on a team willing to get their hands dirty. Second of all, I love seeing a catty Mr. Sinister. He quickly became a standout, and I might cosplay him eventually. This also reintroduces one of my favorite lesser-known characters. Madalyn before the goblin queen. Her interactions with Alex Summers were exciting, and I loved seeing her again. Also, Psylocke having to act as the parent of a collection of homicidal killers was fun to see.

Cable: Four issues long, 5/10: It had some fascinating concepts, especially with kid cables' relationship to old cable and those who knew old cable, but overall, it was not my favorite. The Space Knights were excellent, and how they were confronted was interesting. Their use of time travel was terrific, but overall, it was just not my favorite.

X-factor: 2 issues long, 7/10: it's an X-Men mystery solvers group. Basically, if you die outside of the walls of Krakoa, X-factor will come and find your body so you can be brought back. It's fun, and the team is filled with characters you don't see often, like Eye Boy and Daken. It's good. I just can't talk about it too much with how few issues there are in Dawn of X

empyre x-men: 4 issues long. 3/10: I was curious if I should count this since it's part of a crossover event, but it's in the Dawn of X collection trades, so I might as well. So this had some exciting concepts, such as the Scarlet Witch trying to redeem herself, mutants vs mutant zombies vs plant aliens. But overall, it could have been better. I didn't read any of the connecting crossovers; I needed clarification.

X of Swords: 22 issues, 10/10: the culmination of all the storylines so far, genuinely fantastic. What starts out as an X-Men tournament arc turns into so much more. We learn more about the history of Arrako and the apocalypse's connection to it. Satyreene is stunning and a fantastic villain. Everyone getting their swords. And once the battle actually began the rounds. How different they were and how cool they were. If I have any complaints, they are: 1. I would have liked to see some of the fights described, mainly in the fashion show, but many others sounded cool. 2. I wish the battle between Storm and Death lasted longer. 3 I think that as a promo or special edition, they should have allowed you to buy your own Xmen tarot deck, But hey, if my main complaint for a 22-issue crossover is that I wish there was more content, then you know you did a pretty good job. (also, speaking of Storm, the issue where she gets her sword might be my favorite issue in the entire crossover, which is saying something because it's incredible.) also, I got Tini Howard to sign my copy of the collection, which is fantastic.

I know the krakoa era is over but would y’all like to hear my review of each series in dawn of x, I’m finally finishing it tonight and I have some thoughts.

[valkyurii]

it’s funny how things have gone full circle with malenia. she was so hated when the game first came out, but then people grew to like her. then the dlc came out and now people hate her again lmao

[phlegm--princess]

my honest tierlist

[cloysterbell]

So I'm an RTD girlie who gave up on doctor who somewhere in the moffat era before chibnall even took over and so I've missed all of thirteen's tenure. I don't have it in me to watch all of her seasons at this moment in time but I LOVE Jodie and your gifs look so compelling.

Would you be able to recommend your top 5 episodes with 13 or something so I can rectify the error of my ways, at least a little bit?

Hmmmmmmm I would say that for a complete Thirteen novice you should watch:

The Woman Who Fell to Earth

It Takes You Away

Spyfall pts 1 & 2

The Haunting of Villa Diodati

And probably Fugitive of the Judoon and The Timeless Children just because those are very important series lore episodes that are important to watch even if you very much disagree with most of the choices that Chibnall made

Also probably The Power of the Doctor so you can watch Thirteen's full regeneration episode (and Jacob Anderson <3)

[shield-and-saber]

yeah, so i just finished cataclysm