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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 3 months ago

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complicated feelings about book 7

Hey, hello, hi!!

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts and feelings about the direction the main story is going in ever since 7-100. I wanted to wait until the hype for the book 7 part 9 and anticipating part 10 settled down a bit before I made this post, as I wouldn’t want to impede anyone’s excitement for it—and now that time has come.

While I wouldn’t say I’m being entirely negative or harsh in this post (I’d say I’m being “worried” in my critique at most), I’d caution you to avoid it if you think it would upset you or mess with your enjoyment of the main story, especially knowing that the book 7 part 10 update is coming later in August.

Thank you for your time ^^ and without further ado…

I started to feel iffy about how the story is going around the part Idia wakes up. At the time, I remained optimistic and brushed it off. However, the inkling I had then has since magnified, especially with the recent Scarabia update.

What is that issue with, you may ask?

The dream hopping and waking segments.

They feel so… for lack of a better term, dissatisfying?? Rushed?? I don’t know, but I’m left still feeling like (just as Ariel says) I want more. I was hype when they first happened, but with each new update, I let myself sit with what happened for a few days and, thinking back on it, problems start to arise.

Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT saying that these segments are lame or that they don't make sense. I love being able to delve into the dreams and see a ton of novel yet absurd things, and I love how genius Idia's plan is. It makes sense narratively and I, of course, appreciate being able to see the dreamscapes and the desires of so many beloved characters. BUT... The problems primarily come down to pacing and the overabundance of contrivances.

The set-up itself is elaborate but also keeps piling up more “but also we need to do THIS” details that seem to overcomplicate things or act as red herrings. Silver’s UM itself is already warranting an explanation, then we got Idia’s video presentation, now we have to account for leaving people and hologram projections behind… all for the sake of limiting how many people travel to the dreams because OH YEAH we also need to consider Malleus catching on. It’s contrived for the sake of the narrative giving everyone a chance in the spotlight before the Big Finale. The universe has to dedicate so much time to explaining how this is feasible or why people need to stay behind in order to justify the pacing and to avoid an increasingly growing group from competing for attention. We spent SO long on just exploring Lilia's dream that the shift to waking up all these other characters seems so much quicker by comparison. It's natural that we can only devote so much time to each character (since we have so many students to collect), but it also results in some people feeling very rushed or not fully realized. For example, Epel only gets 5 parts dedicated to his turn-around but Kalim gets 8. This variance naturally occurs as some dreams are less serious than others, but despite this it still leans into some non-OB boys getting more of the spotlight than others. Additionally, we also see very uneven distribution of lines across individual segments. There is so much information crammed into some parts (like 140 and 141) while other parts are pathetically sparse and not much happens.

When it comes to the OB boys, they of course get longer segments than the others, so it doesn't feel as bad. However, I think the OB boys come with other issues... Namely the "resolutions" to their battles against their OB forms. Not only is there a formula to how they are woken up (which makes things less exciting compared to not really knowing what happens in the main story except for OB boy at the end), but there's also a part carved out for them to give a big speech about how they've changed or how they'll move on from the past, etc. This is especially true of Jamil, who probably had the longest speech of the OB boys thus far.

Now yes, I know it's an anime trope to give speeches (particularly for TWST, which primarily tells its story via dialogue). But does it have to be so... blatant??? Like, the OB boys are usually alone or just trapped with their inner darkness in these moments. Who exactly are they announcing their character change to? It does not feel diegetic at all. This is a lot of telling and not as much showing. That contrasts with the character development we saw in book 6; at least there the OB boys were paired up with other people, so there was someone to bounce off of and butt heads with. It feels like they're having a conversation, actually bonding with their peers, and learning from those tough interactions. (In fact, I would argue that book 6 did this growth in a much better paced and more cohesive manner.) In the dreams of book 7, the interactions have to be shared among several other students and they have to be so much shorter as a result of that.

What we’re seeing in book 7 is character growth we already knew about, but told to us in a more overt way. We are not learning anything new. Waking people in book 7 involves a lot of flashbacks to events that already played out, so rather than any real development being made, it's returning people to the state they were in before (since that "change" was in the process of occurring in the real world).

It feels like book 7 is trying hard to follow through with all the promises the earlier books built up to. And, quite honestly, many of these emotional conversations (like Kalim and Jamil shouting at each other about their flaws) NEEDED to happen. I just don't know if this was the appropriate context for it, because it comes off as an ultimatum or an ending to a story that had so much more left to say.

The way these book 7 segments are framed, the students "waking" is meant to mark a pivotal moment in their development. I worry what this means, because the dialogue is very... resolute? Especially for the OB boys. And them announcing how they've changed out loud rather than in a more subtle way (like Kalim saying he is 'frustrated' but not being able to explain why in book 4, Leona saying that Jamil is "not like him" in book 6; implying that there is hope for Jamil but not for himself, etc.)... It gives the impression that this is the "end" of their character arcs, that their growth is now "complete", even if that wasn’t the intention. I don't feel like that's how character development works?????? It's never really "done", it's a continuous and ongoing thing, so the vibes of it feel a little off. I would have liked it more if it were open-ended or at least vaguer. Still hopeful, but vaguer. These are meant to be triumphant moments, yet I don't get that feeling because it's very repetitive at this point. I've pointed out many patterns myself, and that makes future installments VERY predictable and boring aside from the actual dream settings we visit. We have 11 more students to hit up. E L E V E N. That's SO many. Do you realize how far away that is????? I even ran the numbers:

Idia spans 109 - 116 (7 parts)

Epel spans 120 - 124 (5 parts)

Rook spans 125 - 131 (7 parts)

Vil spans 133 - 139 (8 parts)

Kalim spans 140 - 147 (8 parts)

Jamil spans 148 - 157 (10 parts)

That means, on average, it takes 7.5 parts for each character to wake up. With 11 characters left to do, that means we have at LEAST 82.5 parts left (spread across 3 updates, one for Octavinelle, one for Savanaclaw, and one for Heartslabyul). With the current 157 parts out, that means book 7 is going on until at least part like 240... AND WE STILL HAVE A TON LEFT TO WRAP UP, like Yuu going home, Grim OB, Crowley's intentions, the mystery of Raverne’s disappearance, the truth behind Mickey and Yuu’s connection, beating the crap out of OB Malleus, etc. Book 7 is dragging on for a while, and the novelty of each dreamscape can only last for so long before the same old pesky problems creep in again 💀 The pacing is so weird; it simultaneously feels too long and yet also not long enough. Not only that, but because there are so many other characters to collect, it is robbing Diasomnia and Ignihyde of THEIR promised screen time in the second half of the book.

A lesser issue I had was the weird... tonal whiplash? The dream segments are largely silly and they spend a lot of them goofing around with the explanation of having to "investigate" the dreamer's weak point and hitting on that to wake them. (This complaint runs counter to the pacing issues I mentioned earlier; cutting down on the time spent being silly means we'd be rushing the story, but not having silly parts means dragging the story out. It's hard to really balance the two.) Here I am sitting here and thinking 1) there is NO sense of urgency, 2) what a waste of time, and 3) what a wasted opportunity for Yuu.

I'm not a huge game!Yuu fan; I see them as a blank slate for self-inserting, and since I'm not someone who likes to self-insert, Yuu has little to no value to me and just serves primarily as a vehicle to have things exposited to them and as a POV character. But hey, if the story wants to stress Yuu is important and helps these characters change, then why not do it here??????? There's so few times when they actually do something of importance in the main story (with perhaps their most involved points being books 3 and 4, maybe 6 when they took the initiative to go free their friends/rescue Grim).

A lot of it honestly feels like wasted time since most characters outside of the dorm leader do not change in significant way or in less serious manners. It really falls flat because Yuu largely did not do anything to influence those extra characters, let alone the OB boys.

While talking with a friend, they suggested that non-OB boy sequences could have been relegated to vignettes to go with limited story cards (that way TWST could have more banners, assuming one for each character) or as free bonus side-content that unlocks as an optional thing similar to how the collecting wishes worked in Wish Upon a Star; they are not essential. It feels like they were obligatorily thrown in as fanservice before the big closing. The narrative would have still worked and we would get to the point faster if we limited the main story componeny to just the necessary people (Ignihyde + OB boys).

Another potential route: if you insist on hitting up all the characters before the end, why not give Yuu a chance to DO SOMETHING in book 7 since they're the only person in the wake-up crew to have interacted with all these people we're trying to wake up? The only one who has experienced detailed and prophetic dreams associated with the OB boys???? The one who has been tasked with investigating and resolving various students' issues around campus? Why not let Yuu take the lead in discovering the best method to wake each boy up? Then we'd at least get character development on Yuu's part, get to see how Yuu is positively influencing the boys, and it cuts down on the down time of wandering in circles and making no meaningful progress.

*takes a deep breath*

Anyway, those are my thoughts 💦 I would like to reiterate that I do NOT "hate" book 7, I just disagree with the pacing and how they've decided to write in waking up the characters for this current stretch of it. It's no doubt a daunting task and I'm sure the writers are all doing their very best... I don't know if the end product managed to achieve what it wanted to for me though. It’s tiring and repetitive (like bouncing up and down on a roller coaster that cannot decide how it wants to go and leaves you no time to recover/catch your breath), and I’m left still feeling unsatisfied and wanting more.

Theoretically, I like the ideas but not the execution of them… I can only hope that the pacing improves for future updates (especially with the Octa update on the way and attempting to shake up the formula by introducing two story SSRs instead of one), or that book 7 can at least end strongly with that final battle.

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tossawary · 5 months ago

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This is a very niche fic idea that I have no solid intention of actually writing, but... "Naruto" has more than a few self-insert fics and some of them are transmigrations into canon characters. Some of them are about OCs who do not want to be a ninja and are desperately trying to get out of it. There's usually some deliciously frustrating tragedy and horror about the brutal and inescapable military system of Konoha.

So, I thought that it would be kind of interesting to do an OC-insert into Sasuke, probably ultimately more comedic than angsty, as the OC tries to fail out of having to become a ninja, but then has to struggle against the fact that a civilian Sasuke would probably be expected to start a new Uchiha clan ASAP. (They probably have to concede to at least becoming a genin for the benefits of legal adulthood of some kind at 12 years old, even if it means being a part of the damn military.)

But even if the OC would personally love to be a parent someday, they cannot condone participating in what's essentially a breeding program for a new generation of Sharingan-wielding super-soldiers. Children who are probably going to be chewed up and spat out by Konoha someday too.

I think it would be neat to have a character treat the Sharingan like a genetic disorder that they don't want a child to suffer. I think it would have been interesting if canon Sasuke had also wrestled with the idea of letting the Sharingan die out. Fuck it, he'll adopt if he wants to be a dad someday. I also think it would be funny to have an OC-insert whose goal is to get a secret vasectomy (body autonomy!) without the leadership of Konoha finding out.

Sasuke, as soon as Sakura becomes a medical nin: "I need you to do me a huge secret favor and NOT be weird about it."

Sakura, also still currently a teenager: "You're asking me to CASTRATE YOU, AT HOME, IN SECRET, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT BE WEIRD ABOUT THIS?!"

(And there's the whole fucking issue of the "Naruto" universe having cloning, so, no, a vasectomy isn't a solid guarantee of getting out of this. But it might buy Sasuke a few years to figure out how to avoid the mad science route too if anyone tries to force marriage on him at any point.)

Even throwing aside the issue of children, even in an AU where the OC-Insert is cool with having bio children, I think it would be really funny to have a Transmigrator Sasuke announcing outright in the first Team 7 meeting that his dream is to retire super early and become a shinobi tradwife to a super strong ninja.

Kakashi: "...What?"

Sasuke, possibly talking out of his ass to troll his team and because he's already spitefully exhausted: "I said what I said. I'm the only Uchiha left to pass on my clan's techniques, so my dream is to be a stay-at-home ninja, supported by a super strong spouse who can protect my family."

I think this would break Naruto and Sakura's brains. ("Marry Hokage Naruto" is not the worst plan that a transmigrator could come up with, probably.) I think that this would be a super funny start to a Team 7 OT3 in which Naruto and Sakura become rivals for the position of Sasuke's shinobi sugar daddy/mommy. (Naruto doesn't consciously realize that he's competing for Sasuke's hand in marriage at first, but he gets it after a few years or so.)

Kakashi is... So Tired. Obito, are you seeing this shit??? What the fuck.

I know some OC-insert / SI-insert into Sasuke fics exist, I just think the funniest plot direction for a transmigrator in this situation would be to completely bail on both the "take revenge on Itachi" and "rebuild the Uchiha clan" dreams in the least macho ways available.

Also, what WOULD Itachi think of Sasuke abruptly deciding to give up on revenge and to become a house husband instead?

#tossawary naruto #fic ideas #uchiha sasuke #house husband sasuke au

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theminecraftbee · 6 months ago

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actually, out of the tags and further explanation: so I actually REALLY LOVE that mcc is like, canonizing making predictions about game and event winners like this, as well as making stats more accessible and explicitly part of the game like this.

the thing is—okay so I know stats are blamed for a lot of what’s wrong with mcc fandom but stats are FUN. sports predictions are FUN. being kind of competitive about sports predictions is FUN. have you ever done an ncaa bracket with your family. or played fantasy baseball. or fantasy football. or hell, have you watched a jon bois video that’s actually some of his sports writing. FUN, RIGHT? and stats are a really common way for a sports/competition fan to engage with their hobby, so like, there is no avoiding “people will try to make mcc predictions” and “people will stat out the teams” and “people will be competitive about those predictions”, it’s one of the most common modes of the sports fan, it’s an accessible form of engagement even when the team you are personally a fan of isn’t in the game (because you can be temporarily a fan of the one you’ve decided to gamble on winning), and it’s not gonna go away.

(the actual stakes of gambling aren’t required and I actually do not recommend outside of like, you get a stupid gold plastic trophy from a friend, do not get involved in sports gambling it’s a predatory industry and there is basically no “safe” threshold there, I am talking more about the inherent fun of “getting competitive about your team winning”.)

the problem has in the past been that players see it and get placed under pressure/upset/etc about it, because unlike Sports, the mcc players have very direct lines of interaction with their fandom. it’s VERY EASY to take a prediction as an attack, especially when combined with competitiveness, which is why I think a lot of people suggest forbidding talking about stats or tiers, getting rid of stats, etc.

but the thing is that won’t work. for one, it’s removing one of the biggest sports fan modes of engagement and therefore removing your own fandom. but also people aren’t going to NOT do stats! like, even the players will probably start keeping track of stats if stats were removed! so the solution instead needs to be to make stats more individual, to remove some of the pressure of the stats, and to lean into the stuff about it that makes it FUN.

therefore: the kudos system and predictions. it’s not trying to get rid of the inevitable fandom interaction, it’s embracing it, but it’s doing it in a way that removes pressure from players.

for example, note that the kudos have a focus on personal bests! this encourages players to compete but means even “lower-tier” players will probably get them! at the same time, by globally sharing overall records, it continues to celebrate and encourage great performances! plus, by making some of the stats really stupid, it both gives statheads NEW things to focus on that aren’t coins—the punching statistic for example is gonna be so fun—removing some of the pure pressure to perform in score alone and the centralization of discussion around it—and also gives players silly records to aim for if they aren’t the kind of player who’d aim for a more “traditional” high score.

as for the predictions, they’re gonna do two things. first, it embraces “yeah the community loves doing predictions” by adding a competitive aspect to it—can you beat the odds and predict who will win everything? the wordle-like ability to copy/paste how you did at the end of the event is truly genius because it makes it SUPER EASY to share and discuss for even casual fans. it will increase engagement and discussion. it’ll ALSO help demonstrate to players, by showing the percentage of correct predictions on screen, how… inaccurate… predictions often are. sure, you can guess who the better players and teams will be, but as anyone who did sexyman knows, single-round games can have upsets. and it celebrates those upsets! it turns it from “no one believed in us” (sad) to “we were the underdogs hell yeah look at us go!”

anyway as someone who likes engaging with sports and competitions by being a little competitive and watching the stories the numbers tell: I adore these changes FANTASTIC changes they’re gonna be so fun day-of let’s go mcc,

#mcc #I DONT KNOW IF IM PHRASING THIS ALL WELL #BUT HONESTLY I ADORE THIS DIRECTION. EXCELLENT STUFF.

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puppetwoman17 · 6 months ago

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Would you ever expand upon your joker junior thoughts more? I think that was such a well written idea and would love to hear what else you think about it

Oh my god yes. 100000% YES!

That post before was more of an idea vomit, didn’t cover all of what I thought, so I’m happy to hear someone wants to hear more.

So, JJ’s always been a tough convo for Tim. Obviously. But it’s not just because of how traumatizing the Joker can be, or about the shocks and psychological torture. It also reminds him of a grim time in his life. With Bruce still going through the motions post-Jason’s death, and Dick frequently spending all his time in Bludhaven, he hadn’t been watched much. Save for Babs, ofc.

That’s actually why they’re so close. She’s much more emotionally competent thanks to her dad, lol.

JJ wasn’t only a big thing for Tim, but for Gotham too. In a place like this, it wasn’t hard for whispers from the Joker’s men to travel to civilians and cops. Everyone knew why Robin was nowhere to be seen. Everyone knew why Batgirl looked the way she did, agitated and worried. Everyone knew why the cops searched that same warehouse over and over, never allowing anyone inside.

Which was also why no one was happy to see Nightwing, very obviously the first Robin, return after yet another sabbatical in Bludhaven. Of course, that stopped a little after everyone collectively realized that, oh crap, he doesn’t even know!

This begins a collective effort by the more clear-minded people of Gotham to NOT disclose anything JJ related. There has to be a reason, right? No way were they going to force Robin #3 to disclose anything he didn’t wait to. It didn’t hurt that a year or two later, a mysterious figure named Oracle began effectively making every news article or picture related to JJ disappear.

Everyone holds their breaths for the next few months. What if what happened to the second Robin happened to him? What if he was too crippled to go back out?

As the Batfamily grows bigger, it becomes way clearer that Robin #3 hasn’t said a WORD. Not even after they grow closer, when the screaming and murder attempts and arguments cease. He doesn’t say a word, so no one else does either.

Tim goes to great lengths to medicate himself against any variant of Joker venom or gas. The familiar smells just… bring things back to the surface.

He tries not to act like Jason whenever the Joker gets out of Arkham. It’s already hard for everyone to hold him back from killing the monster. Jason doesn’t need some second-rate copy of his trauma trying to get sympathy. Unlike Jason, he didn’t die. He didn’t come back differently, or lose footing on his life, his job, whatever.

It would just be better if Tim acted as aloof and concentrated as he always did. Not make a big scene, and follow Batman’s orders to a T. No need to worry anyone.

Honestly, the only reason no one notices the literal war going on in this boy’s head is because he doesn’t want to cause a scene.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what he says when one of the bats finds him the next night, still avoiding them…

Yeah, he full on denies EVERYTHING. Looks whoever it is, Jason, Steph, Dick, straight in the eye and says that what they saw was fake. Edited. Something to threaten Bruce with years ago. Tim just ran because…because…Anyway, he’s fine. Don’t worry about Tim Drake. He’s fine.

Babs groans over the comms when everyone hounds on her to tell them everything. Like hell is she gonna tell them a single thing until she has Tim’s full permission.

#tim drake #red robin #joker junior #batman the animated series #batgirl #barbara gordon #joker #Batman #batfamily #Nightwing #red hood #gotham #I don’t read many comics lol sry #I’m not an encyclopedia #canon divergent #or compliant #idk continuity is weird in dc

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roseghoul26 · 5 months ago

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Hello! I would like to request Cooper Howard x gn!reader (post war, because...murderous cowboy...hnnngh), where they struggle with mental health issues like depression? I've been in a really tough spot, having no energy or motivation to do anything or really any desire to take care of myself. So I was thinking, maybe the reader's mental health is declining, they're slower and sloppier when it comes to keeping up with Cooper and he's more and more frustrated. Then one day he has enough (maybe the reader is taking too long packing up) and threatens to leave them and they're just...passive, because they really don't care anymore about what happens to them. So he realises they haven't been taking care of themselves properly for a while now and then some soft moments with him? I know this is pretty dark and you can change this however you'd like, but I'm dying for some hurt/comfort with this man 🥺 It's totally cool if it's too much for you, if you decide to not write this, please just let me know, so I don't wait for it. Thank you so much, I love your Cooper fics <3

Cooper Howard | The Ghoul x gn!Reader

Synopsis: You’ve been struggling lately, putting both you and your traveling companion in danger. He was bound to confront you about it eventually. Tags: Prompt Request, Not Beta Read, Gender Neutral Reader, Depression, Mental Health, Mentions of Suicide, Disagreements, Comfort, Lazy Day, Cuddling, Beginning Relationships Author's Note: Trigger warning for topics relating to mental health, such as depression and suicide. Please do not read if you’re not in a good mental space. Take care of yourselves. Also, everyone’s experience with depression and mental health issues differs, so I am writing this story the way I experience it. Also, this was a fun challenge to write. Like how the hell would he approach a topic like this? It’s been fun to explore his character like that, and I hope I did it justice. Thank you so much for the request! <333

You used to be able to keep up with the Ghoul.

Wherever he went, you followed, tearing through the Wastleland without hindrance. You watched his back, and he yours, a security that was unheard of in this world. It was a trusting friendship, bordering on something else, something that neither of you had crossed yet. You couldn't compete with over a hundred years of experience with a gun, but you were able to hold your own quite well. You were a decent shot and someone who never let anyone get the drop on you, senses always sharp.

So when you started missing easy targets and found yourself surprised by opponents one too many times, you knew it was a matter of time before the Ghoul started asking questions and not believing the first lie that you said. The first time it had happened, you blamed it on your lack of sleep, and he seemed to buy it. And maybe you convinced yourself it was just a lack of sleep, ignoring the darkness that had begun to emerge in your mind. You just needed to rest, was what you told yourself.

It happened again a few days later, completely missing a target in front of you. Your reactions had begun to slow down, too, unable to avoid the swing of a blade, cutting across your cheek. It was like your body gave up on wanting to move, an unbearable weariness to your muscles that you were unable to shake. Later, as you bandaged the wound on your cheek, the Ghoul confronted you, demanding to know why you were acting so sloppy. You’d merely shrugged, offering up the idea that you were sick. This time he seemed less convinced, yet he had let the matter go.

You knew why you were acting the way you were. You weren’t unfamiliar with depression, far from it. It was something you’d dealt with your entire life, coming and going like waves. You’d go days, weeks, months and you’d be fine, but then a flip would switch. You’d lose your energy, your motivation, wanting nothing more than to just lay on the ground and never get back up. You’d stop taking care of your body. You’d lose your appetite. Your thoughts would turn dark, ideations and ideas flashing in your mind, things that you’d never tell another soul.

For the months you’d been traveling with the Ghoul, you’d been able to keep a reign on your depression. Sure, you had your off days, but nothing like this. It was like the universe was punishing you for having such an excellent past months.

But how could you explain this to your traveling partner? How could you explain that you didn’t have the energy to continue existing, to continue fighting? He needed you to be alert, to not have your thoughts occupied with something, that in perspective to the Wasteland around you, was trivial.

So you kept your mouth shut, forcing yourself to appear alert and unaffected. You forced those thoughts to the back of your mind. You forced your body to move, no matter how much it screamed at you to just be still.

But it seemed that all that bottling your thoughts up did was make it worse. As the days dragged on, you stopped talking, only muttering small words whenever the Ghoul asked you a question. You’d normally spend the time traveling conversing, and the Ghoul did try to initiate a conversation with you, but no amount of questions and joking and jabs could get you to break. Eventually, he fell quiet too.

Sleeping became a challenge. You’d think with how exhausted your body felt, you’d be able to sleep easily, but the opposite was true. Hours would tick by, and you’d lie awake, getting up the next morning more exhausted than before you went to bed. Your face, already a bit gaunt from living such a difficult life, had grown even more so, the circles around your eyes darkening and your lips growing more chapped.

You stopped eating, turning away the food he offered you. After you went a few days without eating more than a bite, he practically forced spoonfuls of food into your mouth, snapping at you the entire time. It was humiliating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to change. You just wanted to be done.

You could tell that your demeanor was starting to annoy the hell out of the Ghoul, whose words had turned shorter and snappier. If you took too long, he’d grab you by the shoulder and drag you along, like an upset parent with their child. Your cheeks would burn every time, tears pickling your eyes, and you’d hang your head.

There was a tension growing between you and the Ghoul, your friendship growing thin. His guard was up constantly, unable to trust you any longer to watch his back, which hurt you more than any knife or gun. Soft glances disappeared, his gaze scrutinizing when he looked at you. Light touches from him reserved for when you were at rest were no more, as you chose to keep to yourself every night. Instead of walking side-by-side, you’d linger a few feet behind him. You pretended like it was easier this way, to make him push you away, but it was tearing you apart.

But eventually, that tension snapped. Too many close calls, too many sluggish movements, too many half-hearted excuses finally made him break. You’d just gotten up for the day, another sleepless night behind you, and you were packing up your few belongings. You must’ve been taking too long, because you heard him sigh audibly, standing in the open doorway of the room you’d sheltered in for the night. “What’s your fuckin’ issue?” He growled, arms crossed tight over his chest.

You looked up, feigning confusion. “I dunno what-”

“Bullshit,” he cut you off. He began to walk towards you, his steps methodical, threatening. “You’ve been actin’ like this for weeks, and you’ve only offered me half-assed excuses.” He was seething, and understandably so. He crouched down in front of you, rendering you unable to escape. “So, you,” he stuck a finger in your chest, barely avoiding hitting you, “are gonna tell me why. And don’t even think ‘bout lyin’, sweetheart.”

You swallowed, heart hammering in your chest at the confrontation. Words flooded your mind, a full explanation on the tip of your tongue, yet you just couldn’t bring yourself to utter it. Your mouth opened and closed, struggling, until you eventually just gave up. Sighing, you just shook your head, which pissed him off even more.

A disbelieving laugh left him, and he ran a gloved hand over his face. “No? You’re kiddin’ me, right?” He didn’t wait for a response. “Ya know, I’ve tried to be lenient. I bought into your fuckin’ lies that you were ‘just tired’, ‘just sick’. I tried to give ya space, to give ya time to get out of this. But you’re gonna get us both killed if ya don’t fix yourself. I can’t be distracted out there, constantly worried ‘bout you and keepin’ you alive, ‘cause it seems like that’s the last thing on your mind.”

He took a breath, steadying his rising voice. “So I’m gonna give ya one more chance to explain yourself, or else I’m leavin’ without ya.”

“Then leave.” Your response came almost immediately, your voice lacking any inflection. Even though in the back of your mind you were screaming at him not to leave, you kept an air of indifference about you, unable to make yourself care. It would be easier if he just left, wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t be putting anyone else in danger, and you wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt you felt of him worrying about you so much. And it would be so much easier to just disappear if there was no one looking for you.

He wasn’t expecting that as a response if the look on his face told you anything. His brow muscles were raised, leaning back from you in shock. But the way he was watching you, it was like he was observing you in a different light, dots beginning to connect in his mind. “You’ll die out there without me.”

You merely shrugged your shoulders, glancing down to continue packing your belongings, no longer able to look him in the eye. He didn’t respond, simply standing up with a sigh. You didn’t look up, not even as you heard him walk away, backing towards the entrance of the room. You didn’t look up, even as you heard the surprisingly gentle click of the door as it shut. You didn’t look up, even as the tears that you’d been holding for the past weeks finally fell.

You were alone.

You thought it would make you feel better like there would be a weight lifted off your shoulders. But everything just felt heavier, the thoughts in your mind becoming a tempest, making you physically weak. Expletives tumbled from your lips as you sagged down onto your arms, head hung. Of course, he’d fucking leave, you idiot. No one wants to deal with your moping.

A part of you wanted to chase after him, to beg him to stay, but you already felt pathetic enough. You couldn’t blame him for leaving, not at all. You were weighing him down, putting his life in danger; he said so himself. He could only deal with you for so long. You should be grateful that he didn’t leave sooner.

The sound of rustling fabric made you jump, finally looking up. The Ghoul had taken off his jacket, laying it across the back of the couch he had slept on, never having left the room at all. Stunned, you watched him sit, taking his hat off in the process and setting it on the floor. He finally caught your eye then, a soft look on his face, a look you hadn’t seen in a long while.

“I thought you left,” you whispered, sitting back upright. Embarrassment warmed your cheeks, and you tried to wipe the tears that had fallen on them.

“I ain’t leavin’ ya, sweetheart.”

“Why not?”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Do you want me to go?” You’d never shaken your head faster in your life. “Then I’m stayin’.”

“But why?”

He sighed. “‘Cause I care ‘bout you. I… Is that too hard to believe?”

It is. Unable to find words, you just shrugged again.

Something akin to regret or remorse flashed across his face, and muttering something under his breath he reclined against the couch. He was upset, but even now you could tell it was not because of you, at least not fully. “C’mere,” he murmured, patting the couch beside him. “You look like you’re gonna fuckin’ bolt at any second.”

Taking a steadying breath, you complied, albeit with some difficulty, your legs barely wanting to function. His gaze didn’t leave you once, as much as you wished it would, making you want to collapse in on yourself. The walk to the couch felt like it was miles long, but you eventually made your way over to it and him.

He rolled his eyes when you just stood there in front of him, unsure of what to do with yourself. “Sit down, I ain’t gonna fuckin’ bite.” In another situation, you knew he’d add some comment like unless ya want me to, but he bit his tongue. The couch groaned as you sat next to the Ghoul, keeping a foot between your bodies. “Talk to me,” he commanded, yet his voice was gentle. “What the hell’s goin’ on?”

You picked at the skin around your nails, no doubt drawing blood. “I’m… I’m not quite sure how to explain it,” you responded, and you expected your words to upset the man even more. But he nodded his head slowly, an almost understanding look on his face. “I’m just… done."

“Done with… what? Bein’ out on the road?” You shook your head. “Travellin’ with me?” You shook your head again, this time more vehemently. “Done with what?” You knew that he knew the answer to his question, but he wanted you to say it.

“I’m done with… with existing. I just can’t bring myself to care anymore. I’m just so tired of it all.” You sagged back against the couch like speaking took a toll on your body. “I’m so tired.”

He didn’t respond for a while, mulling over your words. “That… that explains a lot,” he chuckled humourlessly. “Your mind won’t just leave ya the hell alone, will it? It's like all your mind can focus on are these terrible fuckin’ things, no matter what ya do. And it just weighs on ya, like a million pounds, getting worse with every passin’ day until you just wanna… give up.”

He explained it perfectly, and you cocked your head to the side, a bit confused about how he was able to do so. “I ain’t a stranger to what you’re goin’ through. We’re well fuckin’ acquainted, to say the least. So I shoulda recognized it sooner with ya.”

He paused, sighing. “Wanna know somethin’?” You nodded. “I was too busy thinkin’ ‘bout what I did to upset ya that I didn’t bother to think of any other possible reason as to why you’re actin’ the way you are. But once I realized it wasn’t my fault, not entirely, instead of bein’ there for ya, I was an ass. I thought, because I’m a damn idiot, that you were just mopin’ around for the hell of it, putting us both in danger simply ‘cause you were tired or some shit. Not once did I stop to think why. And I apologize.”

“You don’t gotta-” He cut you off with a pointed look. “I… I accept your apology, then.”

He nodded slowly, content. “I’d like to help ya, sweetheart. I know nothin’ I say or do is gonna make it go away like that… but I’d like to try. Whatever ya need from me, and you’ve got it.”

“I’m not sure what I need exactly,” you admitted quietly.

“When ya figure it out, will ya let me know?” You nodded.

“Just… be patient. As difficult as that is for you.” You hadn’t meant for the jab to come out, but you weren’t taking it back. Especially when a loud laugh left the Ghoul, making a smile of your own appear on your face. It was faint, yet it was there.

An almost starstruck expression appeared on his face, his laughter dying out. “I missed seein’ ya smile,” he murmured as if it was a subconscious thought.

You ducked your head, making him laugh again. “As for bein’ patient, well, I can be that, if that’s what ya need.”

“It’ll take some time,” you cautioned again, indirectly giving him a chance to back out of this.

“Time ain’t an issue. I’ll wait as long as it fuckin’ takes.”

“You mean it?” Your voice was so soft, barely audible to either of you.

You watched as one of his gloved hands inched towards you, palm upturned. Tentatively, you placed your in his, eyes growing wide when he brought your hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. “I swear,” he uttered, sealing the promise with another press of his lips.

As you returned your tingling hand to your lap, his eyes scanned over your face, a furrow appearing between his brow. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten somethin’? Somethin’ that I didn’t force ya to eat,” he added when you opened your mouth to respond.

Your silence said enough, and he leaned down to his bag, which he had placed beside the couch when he sat. After a few moments of rustling through, he handed you a small bag of what appeared to be jerky, as well as a small canteen of water. “It ain’ human,” he added when you eyed the bag suspiciously before taking it.

The jerky was salty and tough when you took a bite, not quite wanting to, but unable to not eat under his gaze. You ate in silence until your stomach was full and your teeth hurt from the tough material. Taking a swig of water, you could feel your eyes growing heavy, eating seemingly draining your energy more than replenishing it. Stifling a yawn, you shoved the canteen back into his hand, and you noticed he had an almost pleased look on his face.

You were confused, though, when he stood, making his way to the entrance of the room. For a moment, those thoughts flashed in your mind that told you that he was finally leaving, that he realized how pathetic you were. But instead of doing any of those things, you watched as he simply wedged a chair under the handle of the door, like he had done before you went to bed for the night.

“What’re you doing?”

“We takin’ the day off. Doctor’s orders.”

“But aren’t we supposed to be in Filly in a few days?”

“We’ll be fine. You are gonna spend today catchin’ up on some much-needed rest.” He stood in front of you now, a moth-eaten blanket in his hands.

“And what are you gonna do?” You asked, and he shrugged.

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, sweetheart. Go ‘head, lie down.”

Your eyes quickly scanned the couch, and you took a deep breath before speaking again. “The couch is big enough for us both, no?”

For the second time that day, you’d stunned him with your responses. “Is… is that what ya want?”

Encouraged that he hadn’t just outrightly said no, you nodded your head, and a fond look crossed his features. He handed you the blanket before sitting once more, but instead of his back being against the cushions, he rested it against one of the armrests, not before tucking a pillow in front of it.

Once he was situated, he opened up his arms to you, and you could’ve laughed at how uncertain he looked. Hands rested on your body when you laid down, head on his chest, laying on your stomach, and you made sure the blanket covered both your bodies as best you could. You weren’t too worried about covering all of you, though, with the sheer amount of warmth he was radiating.

His eyes were already on you when you glanced up, a smile pulling at his lips. “Comfy?”

“Yes.” Your voice was barely audible, but he heard it.

You felt his fidget with something in his hand behind your back, but you didn’t have to wait long to find out what he was doing. You felt fingers run along your scalp, making you shudder, before combing through any hair there. “Alright?”

You sighed contently, nodding your head before letting it fall back onto his chest. He continued to run his fingers there, his other hand tracing patterns across your shoulders. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until now, finding it hard to keep your eyes open. For the first time in a long time, you felt safe. Safe from the world outside this room. Safe from the thoughts that plagued your mind. Safe from everything.

He didn’t have to see your face to know that you were struggling to stay awake. “Go to bed. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Promise?”

“Ain’t fuckin’ like I’m gonna be able to get up,” he chuckled, before taking a more serious tone. “I promise.”

That was all you needed to hear before you finally let the final strings of consciousness leave your grasp. Before you lost control of all your senses, though, you felt him lean down, pressing a barely-there kiss to the top of your head. “You’ll get through this, sweetheart.”

You believed him.

#the ghoul x you #the ghoul x reader #fallout tv series #cooper howard #cooper howard x you #cooper howard x reader #fallout prime #fallout show #fallout

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warping-realities · 9 months ago

Text

Overlap

This story was made based on a request from @themousefromfantasyland it's not exactly the same as what he asked for but if it weren't for him this story wouldn't exist.

Andrew Meyer was an unhappy eighteen yers old young man and even he couldn't say why. His mother believed that the reason was related to the early death of his father and the boy's refusal to accept any possible new father figure in his life to the point where his mother Amanda avoided any romantic relationship over the last ten years. Something that had changed recently, thus creating a friction that had never existed before between mother and son.

Amanda was a history teacher at the local high school, and the year before she ended up falling in love with an old friend the P.E. teacher Josiah Washington. Coach Washington was beloved among the students, even among those who were not adept at sports, something he did not believe in, believing that given the opportunity everyone could demonstrate some unexpected talent.

Under Josiah's command episodes of bullying by athletes completely stopped. The man was adored by almost everyone, and after much insistence along nine full years Amanda's enchantment with him ended up becoming true love, which was promptly responded to. But that story that had everything to work out ended up hitting a snag.

Not only was Andrew among the few who disliked Coach Washington, he also viewed the relationship as a personal affront. He had a deep and deep-rooted conviction that Josiah was just another jock, willing to humiliate him as had happened so many times in middle school, when he didn't have his mother to protect him. This thought was due to Josiah's insistence on making Andrew participate in the most different sports, something that the skinny nerd abhorred and believed was being done with the intention of ridiculing him. Because of this and his block in accepting anyone in his father's place, he decided to do everything he could to end that relationship.

Andrew was an intelligent boy, in fact he was in the Top 3 of his senior year class, being the president of the school's debate team, where he used his fierce tongue to eliminate all his enemies. He constantly competed for first place in his class with Cassie Jones, the president of the photography club, and Rajesh Patel, the president of the chess club. Andrew could be friends with both of them, but his own bitter nature prevented him from making any friends, with many of his colleagues fearing that they would be the next targets of the boy's venomous comments. These comments made many of the school's jocks clench their knuckles as he passed through the corridors. But Andrew, who already had the protection granted by his mother's presence in those same corridors, had received an unexpected reward from the relationship he so abhorred. Out of respect for the coach, all the athletes at the school treated him politely even though they were the boy's biggest target. The satisfaction of mocking the intelligence of one of those troglodytes and knowing that he wouldn't get revenge brought him immense satisfaction. What didn't give him the slightest satisfaction was the news he received from his mother at breakfast on a sunny autumn Tuesday.

"What do you mean by engagement?" The blond, skinny boy with glasses exclaimed indignantly upon hearing the news.

"I thought I wouldn't need to explain this to a grown man, as you make a point of defining yourself, Andrew."

"Don't act like a fool woman, you know what I'm talking about. Is that... man going to live with us?"

"First, have manners when talking to me, second that man is your teacher and for that alone you owe him respect and third but not least, yes the fact that he and I are engaged means that we will live together. But as I know the son I have we chose to wait for you to go to college next year. And that's the only concession you'll get." Amanda said with a firm voice, thus further souring her son's already normally taciturn mood. And it was with that bitter mood that he started his day, while just a few blocks away someone else's day was starting and very soon their path will cross and change his entire reality.

…..

Cassie Jones was a happy and vivacious girl, with a shrewd intelligence and a spirit focused on the arts. Despite being a real nerd she was very popular at school, always being in demand to take photos at the most different school events as well as to her colleagues' Instagram posts. Photography was in fact her great passion, so much so that she had a large collection of analogue cameras from the most different eras, and that was a very special day, as she would use for the first time the Laica Mini camera produced in the 80s and 90s that she had bought it from another photography enthusiast, a lovely lady called Cintia who owned an inn on the coast and said she had taken some of the best photos of her life with that (now) antique.

Although Andrew saw her as a rival, it was not reciprocated. Cassie was a pure soul, one of those who always looked for the good in people and situations, even those where it didn't seem to exist. And she was precisely that type of person who was given to customs such as painting, photography and... choosing to go to school walking through the city park looking for images that conveyed their inner world to the outside. That's why the thin blonde girl, with prescription glasses that, instead of making her face ugly, only increased the aura of innocence, stopped that autumn morning and observed nature and life around her, with the camera ready, waiting for the right moment to transpose the elements of both herself and the world around her into an image.

She didn't have to wait long because her attention was soon caught on an image that would easily convey that communion with the world and nature. A young man was running with a pair of dogs across the lawn, a Doberman and a beagle puppy. And Cassie took advantage of a moment when the owner was far away and the two dogs seemed to exchange thoughts to click.

Little did she know that that click would set in motion the chain of events that would end up profoundly modifying the reality of that would-be rival, for whom she had only a feeling of compassion, but which would soon become much more.

…..

Cassie, Andrew and Josiah's paths crossed that day during physical education class, where the beloved teacher greeted the students with a bright smile. Coach Washington was a huge black man, the type that can be intimidating at first glance. Although in his case it was enough to get past that first glance to realize that despite his impressive size, the most impressive thing was the man's kindness and dedication. For him there was no bad time or student who wasn't worth the effort.

But even he would have to admit that his future stepson was a tough cookie. While even Raj Patel had found a way to exercise, exchanging basketball passes with Samuel Miller, Andrew was sitting sullenly on the edge of the court giving withering looks of hatred to everyone present. With a resigned sigh Josiah approached the boy, but even before he could say something he was interrupted.

"Don't even try, there's nothing you can say that will force me to participate in this... class, especially today!"

And so Josiah discovered firsthand how the boy had received the news of his mother engagement with him.

"Andrew, I am still your teacher and this is still a mandatory subject, you must participate in it if you hope not to fail."

"Try to reproach me and I will accuse you."

"For what? Do my job?"

"I wil say to everyone you stare at me when you come to my house." Replied the poisonous boy.

"Andrew, that's absurd... it's untrue! I never did that and you know it!"

"But the others don't know, so why don't you leave me alone for the next few months and when I go to college we can get rid of each other?"

"Andrew, think about what you said, it's because of this type of behavior that people turn away from you."

"Great, that's exactly what I want."

"Andrew this isn't healthy, your mother worries about you, I worry about..."

"I don't want your concern, I didn't ask for your concern."

"I'm your teacher, it's natural for this type of worry arise."

"So why don't you do yourself a favor and use that worry on someone who cares? There's Cassie Jones doing nothing useful messing with one of her stupid cameras." Andrew replied, getting up and going in another direction.

Cassie was actually playing with her new camera. But it was untrue to say that she had not been participating in the class, on the contrary she had actively participated in the activities until that moment, but when she saw Raj and Sam, people from completely different worlds sitting together and sharing a lively conversation in the middle of a break that artistic feeling that guided her took over and she couldn't help but take a photo of the two boys.

"Cassandra Jones, put away that camera immediately if you have the desire to keep it." Scolded Mr. Washington in a much harsher manner than his usual behavior.

"Sorry Mr. Washington." Said the girl with tearful eyes.

"Cassie, I admire your talent, but there is a place and time for everything. So, please put the camera away and don't let me see you doing that again." Josiah continued in a much more pleasant way.

"Yes, Coach." She replied, quickly putting away the camera and returning to class.

Later that day she was in the photography club's dark room looking at the photos she had taken, there were Raj and Sam, some landscapes of the park and... a photo of the park in which two doberman dogs appeared playing.

Weird, she could have sworn there was only one doberman that morning. Even stranger was the fact that the photo of the doberman and the beagle didn't seem to be anywhere. She found herself wondering if it was possible she had gotten so confused. Leaving the photos separated on a table, she left the room to go home without noticing that a change began in another one.

….

"Are you sure you don't want to come in."

"Sorry Mandy, but I'd rather not go in."

"Would you rather? Really?"

"No, of course not, I would love to go up to your room right now but..."

"Andrew? What has my son done now?"

The sunny afternoon had given way to a windy night that brought with it the omens of the winter to come. Josiah and Amanda had taken advantage of the cool wind for a dinner for two at Chateau de Fondue followed by a walk to the house she shared with her son and would soon share with him. Josiah had avoided bringing Andrew's name to the stall, but at that moment it became inevitable.

"Mandy, it doesn't matter, it's just that he can't stand me and I don't want to fuel his dislike any further."

"Josiah Washington, what has my son done? Answers me now." Amanda said, making him suddenly remember the affronting blond boy whose mother she was.

"He threatened to make things up about me, but I seriously doubt he would be able to..."

"You don't know him like I do. Something broke in that boy Josiah and no one knows how to fix it, not him, not me and no professional I've turned to since he was eight years old and saw his father die."

"It couldn't have been easy, being stuck in the wreckage of a car with his father dead next to him..."

"It wasn't easy, for months he woke up screaming desperately during the night, I had to let him sleep in my bed for a long time, I lost count of the times I woke up with my bedclothes soaked in his urine. But none of that give him the right to threaten you."

"I've been trying to protect him, you know, and the other students resent it, the conversations go on... now you and I are engaged, until someone accuses me of favoring him..."

"Favor him? In what way?"

"He would have failed physical education last year if I hadn't intervened and this year it's worse."

"Josiah Washington, you don't protect my son by doing this, on the contrary, it feeds the dark being inside him. Tomorrow you won't treat him any different than any other student, promise me and keep your promise, because I'll find a way to find out if you don't keep it."

"Okay, I promise, no more favors. But I want something in return..." He replied with a playful smile.

" And what would it be?" She replied, also smiling as he approached and kissed her passionately.

…..

Cassie walked through the park again the next morning, with her camera ready in case inspiration struck. And that's when she saw the young man from the day before playing with two doberman dogs, with no beagle in sight.

Had she really been so wrong? Maybe he just hadn't brought the beagle that day. Building up courage she called out to the man.

"Sir, sir... are these your dogs?"

"Yes, any problem?"

"No, no, I'm sorry but yesterday I took a photo of them without your permission and I would like to ask you if you don't mind."

"As long as I'm not in the photo..."

"No, no, just your dogs."

"Then fine."

"Didn't you bring the beagle today?"

"Beagle? What beagle? I'd like to have one, I think they're really cute, but I only have these two demons here!" He replied in a happy voice while playing with the dogs and leaving Cassie even more confused.

….

Unlike Cassie's morning, Andrew's had not started in a confusing way, as his mother had been very clear with him about his attitudes and the threat of slander from him. The atmosphere in the house, which was no longer good, had turned sour once and for all. Trying to control the waves of fury that overwhelmed him he trotted down the school hallway without even noticing the people he bumped into until he came face to face with a real concrete wall: Mark Sheppard, one of the school's athletes, member of several sports teams and in Andrew's opinion a major idiot.

"Could you get out of the way instead of standing there like an idiot?" Asked Andrew to the boy three times his size, making the other turn in the direction. Mark could be described as a version of Andrew himself on steroids, he was blonde, tall, muscular and...

"What are those glasses for Sheppard? You know that intelligence doesn't come with them, right?" The thiner boy mocked with his usual bitterness when he saw his colleague's new acquisition. Who in turn just looked at the inches below that separated the two.

"I wouldn't worry so much about my intelligence if I were you, Andy, but rather about what I can do with you on the court."

"Only in your dreams that I'm going to enter a court with you, you ogre."

"Ah, but you will. I heard your mother asking Coach Washington to get you to play and she even asked me to let her know if he doesn't do it." The bigger boy replied with a wide smile as he passed by his classmate. "See you later Andy. Get ready to get everything you deserve."

…..

Physical education was the last period before lunch. What a torturous morning waiting for an even greater torture thought Andrew. Maybe the morning wouldn't have been so bad despite the terrible future outlook if he hadn't been forced to partner with the unbearably cheerful and good Samaritan Cassie Jones. How that child's doll could be competing with him for first place in the class eluded him. The worst of all is that she seemed immune to his mean remarks, always treating him kindly and looking at him with a strange look that he didn't know how to decipher.

"No, no, no, you're completely wrong and they still think you're intelligent, what a joke, just because you walk up and down with that camera pretending to be an artist..." He shouted at her just before that class morning ended and for the first time it brought tears to his colleague's eyes, which gave him a dark satisfaction.

After the end of the class they both went to the school gym without exchanging a single word as apparently even Cassie's enormous compassion had reached a point of exhaustion. At the moment Andrew aggressively entered the men's locker room two Indian boys tall, strong and extremely similar, already completely uniformed came out.

"Arrogant asshole..." One of the two grumbled while the other turned to a surprised Cassie who didn't remember either of them.

"I hope you're the valedictorian and not him Cassie, my grades are good but they're not even close to yours."

"Rajesh...?" She asked in disbelief.

"Raj, only our mother calls me by my full name, right Sam?"

"At least you don't have to tell everyone that Sam isn't for Samuel's but Samarth's, brother."

"Sam...?"

"Hi Cassie, if you don't mind we're in a bit of a rush for practice, we'll talk later. But I agree with everything my brother told you." Replied the boy she swore she had never seen in her life as she accompanied a Raj very different from the one she remembered. What was going on there? At that moment, a tall black young man left the locker room and she took the opportunity to try to clarify that.

"Jayden who's that new boy with Raj?"

"Who? I just see Sam there with him."

"This one..."

"Are you kidding me Cassie, that's Sam Patel, Raj's twin brother, you've been colleagues for almost four years."

"No, there's only one Sam in our class, Samuel Miller, a blond boy..."

"What are you talking about? There's only Sam Patel in our class, no Samuel. Are you feeling well Cassie? Do you want me to walk you to the infirmary?"

"No, it's okay...but I...I think I'll do it anyway, thanks Jayden." She replied, leaving the somewhat frightened boy behind. What was going on there? First the beagle that disappeared and now that... the beagle... the dobermans... Sam Miller... Sam and Raj Patel... no... it wasn't possible... or was it? She thought, running frantically to the photography room, spreading the photos on the table and not finding the photo she had taken yesterday of the Sam and Raj that she remembered, but instead a photo of the smiling and athletic Patel twins.

That P.E. class was proving to be the greatest horror of Andrew's school life, all the idiotic troglodytes who had previously been prevented from touching him were taking the opportunity to bump, trip and poke him in every possible way, not to mention the humiliation of rehearsed passes done solely with the intention of making him look like an idiot. And that asshole Washington letting that happen, Andrew was sure that no matter how much the man scolded the other students for those attitudes inside he must have been rejoicing in it all, after all it was all planned by him, and innocent Andrew had let himself fall for the trap. But it wouldn't stay like that, no, no... he would... Andrew didn't have time to finish the thought as Mark Sheppard bumped into him and threw him in the middle of the court fuming with anger, humiliation and pain.

"Here, Andrew let me help you up." Said Jayden Williams extending his hand.

"Take your dirty hands off me. I don't need help from people like you." Andrew replied, making his classmate appalled and angry at the same time.

"You little shit, how dare you!" Said Mark Shepherd.

"What's going on here, kids?" Coach Washington asked, approaching quickly.

"That piece of shit said a lot of racist shit to Jayden." Replied an irritated Raj Patel who was close to the two.

"No, it's not true... I didn't... that's not what..."

"Yes it was, you fucking liar, we heard everything." Retorted Sam Patel.

"Andrew, locker room now."

"But, but..."

"No discussion, locker room. And you guys back to the game, I'll sort it out."

....

"Cintia Cozy Cabin, Cintia speaking, how can I help you? Oh, Cassie, what an unexpected surprise, I hope the camera arrived safely at your house.

Yes, yes... oh my God I must have made a mistake and sent you one of my special projects... I told you that I made magical photos in my time, I wasn’t lying. No, dear, unfortunately it's irreversible, I'm sorry, but the colleagues you knew no longer exist, this is the version of them that exists now, which in fact has always existed.

What the camera does is project the essence of one being onto another, sometimes creating an overlap like what happened with the dogs and sometimes an interposition like what happened with your colleagues. This occurred randomly because you I had no intention when taking the photos, the camera works either way, but when there is intention on the part of the operator the results are usually less unpredictable, although when talking about magic there is always an unpredictability factor to take into account. And that is precisely why I need you to send the camera back to me, it's a very dangerous thing to have, it's a project I've used very few times and you can imagine why.

Thank you dear. I will send you the correct camera today and I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, but I must say that you are responding very well."

...

Cassie wasn't responding well. That was madness, a daydream of a lady isolated on a beach all year round. It couldn't be real, yet the Patel twins were there to prove it. Just thinking about the way things must have had to adjust to accommodate those changes almost took her out of reality while she wandered aimlessly, with the camera hanging in tow as she returned to the school gym, now almost empty, if it weren't for the pair arguing in the hallway in front. And the matter seemed very serious. Taking care not to be seen, she watched the discussion unfold.

"I didn't speak with that intention!"

"After what you told me yesterday how do you expect me to believe you?"

"I don't care if you believe me or not."

"Well, you should care, because it's up to me whether you get a suspension or something worse."

"Look, when I talked about people like Jayden, I wasn't talking about his color... I was talking about his way of being... of being someone, just like you..."

"You do realize that saying that to a black man doesn't help your case at all, don't you?"

"You understood what I meant... I'm talking about you athletes, the owners of the party... the jocks, who walk around the school as if they owned it, who think they're better than the others, a gift of God for humanity."

"Funny, I've heard that description applied to you a few times, ironic don't you think?"

"No, I don't think so. You don't know me!"

"No, I don't, but does anyone? You're a closed book with the pages glued. Not even your mother knows you, Andrew, but I'm willing to get to know you if you give me a chance."

"I'll pass, zero interest."

"I want you to understand that I don't want to replace your father, his place will always be his with you and your mother."

"Don't talk about my father."

"Andrew, I'm trying. Look kid, I've also had losses … I… I can't have biological children."

"It's your problem, I am not and will never be your son. Now leave me alone!" The boy replied, ready to leave.

And at that moment, the kind and carefull Cassie made an impulsive decision. When she saw the suffering in her favorite teacher's eyes, she raised the camera and took a photo of the two of them thinking about how things would be better if Andrew was actually Josiah's son. Almost instantly she regretted what she had done, running back towards the photography room. Leaving behind two people whose lives would be irreparably changed.

In a hurry she prepared the solution and entered the dark room. Her heart pounding as she thought about what she had done and the countless possibilities of disaster. Cintia had said that the intention was the main thing and her intention had been clear, but there was so much that could go wrong. What if Mr. Washington ended up like an older version of Andrew, unhappy and bitter? She would never forgive herself for doing that to a good man. Or even worse, Andrew's biological father was dead and if by wishing Josiah was his father she ended up making her teacher dead?

Uncharacteristically bad thoughts overwhelmed her as she worked on the photo. With her heart still racing and her hands shaking, she took the final product and stared at it for long minutes. The photograph taken in a hurry and from a bad angle was far from her usual work, but it still showed what she remembered. Mr. Washington in all his poise having a serious conversation with his future stepson, a defiant Andrew Meyer. She was already letting out a sigh of relief when she noticed something.

"Where were Andrew's glasses?"

Meanwhile, in the school cafeteria, the boy's transformation began to unfold.

…..

Andrew was about to leave Josiah talking to himself when he was hit by a flash of light followed by a wave of dizziness that almost knocked him over.

"Andrew, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Are you done? I need lunch."

"Okay, but think about what I told you."

"Yeah, sure. Count on it." The boy concluded by withdrawing and rubbing his eyes with the strange sensation that there was something missing there. At the same time, his stomach growled with an unusual intensity, making him not even change his physical uniform before running to the cafeteria for lunch.

Andrew headed to his usual isolated spot and with his thoughts stuck on what had happened in class he began to eat without even seeing what he was putting in his mouth. That time he had gone too far and he knew it, but he also knew that he hadn't lied, his problem with Jayden and Josiah had nothing to do with the color of their skin and everything to do with the way they both were. He hated the jocks, they made his life a real hell before he moved to his current school. But it wasn't any of the jocks at that school who had done those horrible things to him, a little unknown voice said in the back of his mind. Yes, but only because they didn't have the opportunity, today's class proved that. But they didn't get the opportunity because Josiah asked them to stop their behavior, a point in Josiah's favor. He probably prohibited their barbaric behavior thinking about his image, certainly if it weren't for that Mark would have already ended Andrew's life. But at least Josiah did something about it differently than middle school teachers. Plus Jayden could have been offering real help and trying to be a good person and now he would be thinking Andrew was a racist. Not that he normally cared what his colleagues thought of him. But that was different, Andrew knew he was difficult, he knew people didn't like him, that he was bitter and... unhappy. He knew that very well. But he also knew that there were certain things he was not and being racist was one of those things. And knowing this he made an unprecedented decision in his life, he decided to apologize.

Standing up and gaining the courage to go ahead with that decision, he didn't even notice that he was wearing something completely different from the training clothes he wore when he sat down and also from the one he usually wore.

Walking somewhat clumsily as if he didn't really know how to do it, he approached the jocks' table and positioned himself in front of Jayden, releasing everything at once.

"Hey Jayden...um...I'd like to apologize for today...I know what I said sounded like...and I want you to know that it's nothing like that...and well... . I'm really... sorry... I'm really... sorry... and I hope you can... you can forgive me." He concluded, still not completely believing in what he was doing. The boys at the table also didn't seem to believe what they were hearing, it was something unprecedented in their school life for Andrew to admit he was wrong and apologize. So much so that everyone stared at him open-mouthed. The first to recover was Mark, who quickly stood up and positioned himself in front of Andrew with his fist raised. Interestingly, the two were now the same height, something they both didn't seem to notice.

"I don't know what kind of game you're playing Andy, but if you say that kind of shit again to Jay, I'm going to wipe out your ass and you won't have a mother or a coach to protect you, because I won't mind being suspended if it guarantees teaching you a lesson!"

Hearing that kind of threat made Andrew quickly return to his usual behavior.

"Now you've left me very worried Sheppard, I would be even more worried if you had the slightest bit of intelligence to be able to fulfill what you promise. And even in the remote possibility that you achieve something, I will find a way to put an end to your athletic aspirations, a proven assault charge against a classmate is not going to look good on your academic records."

"Listen here, you little shit..." Mark replied angrily, ready to attack Andrew.

"Guys! What's going on here?" Josiah Washington asked entering the cafeteria in that moment.

When Andrew looked at him, he felt a flash hit his retina and was then struck by a sensation of vertigo. Taking enough time to recover as Mark accused him.

"Andrew came here to talk shit again, coach."

"Hey, that's not true, I came to apologize to Jay about this morning and Sheppard started with his usual fragile masculinity show." He accused Andrew as he tried to remember when he was close enough to Jayden to call him by his nickname.

"Who's fragile, scarecrow?"

"Mark, that's enough! Jayden, what happened?"

"Andy told the truth, coach. He came here to apologize and by the way, I forgive you Andy, it was just a misunderstanding." Jayden replied, always fair, but still being fair he continued.

"But as always he and Mark couldn't bear to be together for even a minute and ended up exchanging threats." The boy finished, making the two colleagues forget for a second their mutual hatred and look at him with the looks they used to give each other.

"Guys, you are colleagues, and besides, teammates..."

"Ha, we can play together but we're not on the same team, or at the same level, don't compare chicken legs with me, coach."

"Mark, Andy runs a lot more than you." Jayden commented, making his friend look irritated at him.

"Why all the defense with him now? When has he ever been nice to anyone? You know we only put up with him because he's Coach Washington's stepson!"

"Mark, that's enough!" scolded an irritated Mr. Washington. While a very offended Andrew stared at his stepfather with angry eyes before turning and leaving the room.

"Thanks, guys! You helped a lot, really." He said to the embarrassed students.

"Sorry coach, I exaggerated..."

"Yes, and because of that it’s bench time to you this afternoon. I think it's time we give Andrew the chance to be the starter."

"But coach..." Mike started to complain, falling silent at a stern look from Josiah.

"That is, if I can convince him to show up." Josiah concluded thoughtfully.

….

Andrew walked aimlessly through the school corridors, until he found an empty bathroom where he sat on the toilet and cried, something he hadn't done in a long time. He knew he was a difficult person, but he was trying. His relationship with his stepfather was never easy, but they had reached a mutual tolerance agreement in recent months, shortly after Andrew's mother's marriage to Josiah. In fact, the relationship, which was not exactly cordial, had evolved to the point where Andrew allowed himself to be convinced by his stepfather to participate in the school teams that last year. Not that he did much more than warm the bench. But just participating in something with his colleagues would help a lot with his behavior. He discovered that he could talk to the Patel brothers about common interests and Jayden seemed to be sincere in the way he treated him, Mark of course continued to be the same irritating idiot he always was and now it was clear why, he was the only one who didn't fake cordiality.

That was what he got for trying. Annoyed, he dried his tears and washed his face in the bathroom sink and then stared at his own reflection. Wavy brown hair and gray eyes, still red from crying.

It was then that he made a decision, he would go to Josiah's office and say that he was going to leave all the teams and let his stepfather deal with it.

.....

Cassie was panicking, the photo she took had undergone another change, she tried to contact Cintia again, but when she called the inn she was informed that the owner had left and would only return in mid-afternoon. Not knowing what else to do, she stared at the photo waiting for the next change, thinking about what other changes were happening without her even having any idea.

....

"Come in, the door is open. Hey, Andy, I was just going to look for you, please sit down." Josiah said to his stepson who entered the room with his head down, without looking at his stepfather, as he gathered the courage to say what he had come to say.

"Look, I know how it felt when Mark told you that. But I hope you understand that I only asked them to go easy on you because I know how much you suffered from kids like them at your old school. And Mark... Well Mark can be a bit of an ass sometimes, but that's between us." Josiah concludes with a knowing smile that was not reciprocated because Andrew didn't even look up at him.

"I want to quit training." He said without looking at Josiah.

"Why? You're doing well, I thought you liked it. Raj and Sam seem to get along with you and Jayden would be a great friend if you give him a chance."

"They only talk to me because of you and I don't want to depend on you for anything."

"That's not true Andy, I don't have that power over them, I can only ask them to treat you with respect, the rest is up to you and it seems like you've been doing well, despite some slip-ups like this morning."

"I already apologized, it was just a misunderstanding." Andrew replied, looking for the first time at his stepfather, only to be hit by a flash of light followed by a sensation of vertigo.

"Of course it was a misunderstanding Drew, no one with the slightest intelligence would ever think that a racist speech would come out of your mouth."

"You said it well, coach. No one with the slightest bit of intelligence, but Mark Shepperd doesn't reach the bare minimum." Drew replied.

"Andrew, your feud with Mark has to end, it's disturbing the whole team." Josiah replied in turn causing Drew's face to droop.

"Don't look at me like that, you remind me of your mother when she's mad at me."

"Funny, most people say I remind them of my dad." Replied the dark-skinned athletic young man, with curly hair and dark eyes, already fully dressed for basketball practice that afternoon.

"Well, I didn't know your father other than through photos, but I'd say you're a good mix of the two. But that strong genius certainly comes from your mother." Married to Amanda for seven years and with a cordial relationship with his stepson, Josiah felt secure to make that type of comment.

"Now, one thing I can say about Mark, his behavior today guaranteed you a good opportunity. You start training today as a starter and if you do a good job no one will be able to accuse me of giving preference to my stepson. I suggest that you take the chance."

"Thank you, coach."

"Thank me by doing a good job on the court, son." Josiah replied without thinking making Drew retreat into the armchair. Because despite the stable and respectful relationship between them the stepson made a point of making it clear that this was a limit that he would not let his stepfather cross.

"Sorry Drew, I said it automatically, go warm up with your teammates and I'll be there soon." Josiah said quickly to avoid a conflict knowing that although he saw Andrew as a son the feeling was not reciprocated.

……

Cassie's desperation upon seeing the new change in the photo reached alarming levels to the point that she was forced to leave the refuge of the photography room just to feel like she was doing something. The photo now showed an unchanged Mr. Washington talking to a clearly mixed-race Andrew with a much more athletic physique. She couldn't even imagine how reality was realigning itself to justify that or what it would be like to have to interact with this new Andrew.

It didn't take her long to find out because unconsciously her legs took her to Coach Washington's office where she came face to face with the new Andrew leaving the place, with a slightly disturbed face, but which soon lit up with a smile that she never imagined possible.

"Hey, Cass! I thought we were going to have lunch together today? I was worried when you didn't show up, I sent you a bunch of messages. Look, if it was because of that argument I'm sorry, but it's just that it's hard for me to be your partner, you are a genius."

"Andrew... I..."

"Since when do you call me by my full name? You must be really annoyed with me."

"Uh..."

"Cassie, are you okay? Do you mind if we talk to the gym? Coach made me the starter today and I don't want to be late."

"Hum, of course..." She said, still disturbed by that new much more open and talkative version of Andrew.

"Cass, we've been friends for years, you know what an idiot I can be sometimes. But you have complete freedom to tell me exactly this: Drew, you're being a complete idiot."

"OK."

"Are you sure everything is okay? I can take you to the infirmary even if I end up being late for training." Hearing that was what got her for good. The Andrew she knew would never put anyone else before his interests. So maybe, just maybe she would have done something good with that reckless decision of hers."

"Cassandra Jones, it's decided we're going to the infirmary!" He said with her lack of response, making her quickly intervene.

"No. I'm fine, really...Drew."

"I'm not so sure, but if you say so... the truth is that I really didn't want to miss this opportunity... but if you need me, I'll come with you."

"No Drew, go play. In fact, I'll even watch!"

"Serious?"

"Serious!"

"Then I'll make a point just for you!" He replied with a big smile that had certainly never been seen on the old Andrew's face. As the two arrived at the gym and he said goodbye to her, he headed towards the court where he quickly got busy greeting his teammates with high fives and even some hugs. Leaving a still stunned Cassie to look for a seat in the stands. And she was still amazed as he played with a previously unknown skill and when he finally scored his first point it was in her direction that he looked with that beautiful smile on his face.

At the end of the training Cassie returned to the photography room while trying again to talk to Cintia, although now she thought she could have actually done a good thin even though she still didn't know for sure how to deal with that new Andrew. He and his teammates headed to the locker room where the atmosphere of camaraderie and fun prevailed. Even for someone naturally more withdrawn like him there was room for jokes and laughter, especially with the twins Patel and Jayden, with whom he had created a good friendship, even if to do so he had to endure the unbearable...

"Hey Andy, good game, but very inferior to the king's game."

"What king is that? Because it's definitely not you!" Andrew said as he took off his sweat-soaked training shirt and sat down on a bench.

"Your envy doesn't hit me, asshole." Mark replied, flexing his muscles.

"Envy? Of what? Of looking like an anemic vampire with glasses?"

"This will be the third time that I will need to intervene in an argument involving you two today, will I have to suspend you both?" Coach Washington asked, entering the locker room and causing the two young men to quickly look in his direction. And with that Drew was hit by a flash of light and a feeling of vertigo. While he recovered, Mark responded to the coach.

"Nah, coach. We're good, aren't we, Dre?" He said.

"Sure, we are good, coach. Even more so because blondie here just admitted my superiority on the court."

"You piece of shit, I'm going to..." Mark began to threaten, being interrupted by a stern look from the coach while Andre burst into laughter, making his huge muscles shake while sweat dripped down the ebony skin of his developed pecs and ripped six pack.

"Enough of that, you two, and all of you, I want this locker room to shine like a jewel. If I come back here and find this disgusting mess I'm going to have you clean the floor and walls with a toothbrush. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Coach." They all responded in unison.

"Good." He said before speaking to his stepson in a lower voice. "Dre, when you're done here come by my office, please"

"Yes, Coach." The boy replied, still wiping away tears from his bout of laughter.

....

In the photography room, Cassie had her cell phone in hand, trying to contact Cintia again while she looked at the latest version of the photograph showing a young muscular black man who looked very similar to Mr. Washington in the place where Andrew had been. Surely now it would all be over and she would have to live with that new reality. And deep down she would have to admit that it wasn't that bad, Drew seemed like a really nice guy and who knows, a real friendship could blossom between them...

"Cintia Cozy Cabin, Cintia talking..."

....

Andre took a long shower thinking about what the coach would have to say to him, probably a reprimand for his arguments with Mark, but he should have known better. That was just jokes between the two long-time frenemies. Neither of them had ever come to blows. Or maybe it was about the position of captain of the basketball team, the season was about to start and they didn't officially have anyone yet. Jayden who got along with everyone and was great at motivating others would be the most obvious option, but he had difficulty giving constructive criticism whereas Andre, well, Andre could even be overly critical. Perhaps the conversation was precisely to tell him that. And with that thought, his normally quite cheerful and expansive mood turned sour. After getting dressed he headed to the coach's office.

"Mr. Washington is Dre." He said after knocking on the door a few times. At home he called his stepfather Uncle Josiah. He was married with Andre's mother since the boy was 4 years old, but even before that they know each other as Josiah had been a long-time friend of Andre's father and had been at his mother side throughout her grieving process, when she was left alone with a one-year-old baby to care for. Andre had been in the same car accident as his father but had no memory of what happened, something he was grateful for.

"Come in Dre, I'm in the bathroom finishing changing, you can sit down and I'll be right there."

"Thank you, coach. Can I ask you the reason for this talk?" Asked the young man with anxiety permeating his voice and face.

"It's about the team captain position, Dre. I know you don't like hearing this but you're the son I never had. And for a lot of people, even at this school, it's like you actually are, which raises discussions about me favoring you, which is complete nonsense, because you wouldn't be in the position you are in if you didn't have talent, and anyone who says otherwise should come and do it to my face." Josiah said, leaving the bathroom and passing behind Andre as he walked towards his desk.

"Still, our relationship is something that must be taken into consideration in my choice and after much consideration I want to tell you that I chose Jayden..." Josiah began to say as he finally sat down and looked into his stepson dark and at that moment sad eyes at the exact moment those eyes were struck by a last flash of light, before he concluded. "...and you to be co-captains of the team. Your firm attitude and accurate criticism earned you the position, and I trust that you will be able to keep your strong temper under control, even in the presence of Mark Sheppard. Congratulations, son."

"Thanks, dad. You won't regret it." Andre replied with a big smile, knowing that in that moment father and son could treat each other like that. And there was no way not to realize that the two were father and son, as they shared the same build, the same facial expressions, the same smile and even the same haircut after Dre decided to shave his hair. Poor Amanda, who had to hear constant jokes about having given birth to a copy of her husband.

"You deserved this position, son. Every day that passes you make me prouder to be your father."

"Thank you dad, I'm also very proud to be your son, there is no better father than you."

"You only say that because you just won what you wanted, let's see if you'll say the same when I pull your ear for arguing with Mark in the middle of a game." Joked Josiah with smart smile.

"Let me deal with Mark, you know very well that I love the guy and he loves me, we are long time friends, but some friction is inevitable when you have two people like us on the same team. Although I promise to control myself. "

"Good. Now how about a game with your old man in the city park? I know you must be tired, but I'm dying to put my captain to the test."

"Sure, I just need a few minutes to tell someone the news."

"Okay, I'll wait for you in the parking lot."

"I meet you there." Andre said, getting up before turning back to his father to say something that was stuck inside him. "And dad, I know I don't say this very often, but I love you." He said before leaving the room and Josiah Washington with the biggest smile in the world just before tears started rolling down his face.

"... what's done is done Cassie. You should have listened to me and that's why I ask you to give me back the camera as soon as possible. But the damage could be worse. Apparently you did that boy a lot of good , yet your choice can bring unexpected consequences. Are you sure the photo has stabilized? Oh, is it changing again? Totally different from the previous one? Great, it means there will be no more changes. I'll turn it off my dear, send me the camera today if possible. Good afternoon."

Cassie heard Cintia hang up the phone as she stared at the photograph, certain that this was by far the strangest thing to happen in her life. And she wasn't completely wrong, since the strangest thing in her life was about to happen but still linked to that photography. As she was getting ready to go to the post office to send the camera to Cintia someone knocked on the door.

"Hey Cassie, it's Andre, can I come in?" Andrew? Cassie thought, could even the name...?"

"You can come in," she replied with a trembling voice, seeing the muscular almost 6'7" tall young man enter the room making her legs feel so wobbly she had to sit on a bench in front of one of the cabinets full of photo albums.

"I won it Cass! I'm the new captain of the basketball team." He said, approaching her. "Okay, I'll share the position with Jay, but that's fine, he deserves it too. What's that in your hand?" He asked, looking at the photograph in her hand as he sat next to her, who found herself at that moment invaded by his perfume and a feeling of intense heat.

"It's... a photo... of you and your father... I was going to give it to you as a gift." She said handing the photo into his gigantic hand. Who in turn admired the image of him and his father both in uniform, hugging each other after class.

With teary eyes he looked at her, and she felt her knees weaken with the intensity of that look.

"Thank you Cass, I don't know what I would do without you, you are my best friend, my support in difficult times and a great first place for my second place in the class. I don't even know how to thank you other than like this." He said kissing her who found herself reciprocating with unexpected enthusiasm.

"Wow." Dre said catching his breath.

"Wow." Cassie agreed, realizing firsthand the unexpected effects of playing with reality.

"Cass, you don't know how long I've wanted to do this, but right now I need to go, my dad is waiting for me. Don't you want to come along?"

"I'm sorry An...Dre. I need to do something urgently."

"So meet us at the park later, we'll be at the basketball court. Can I take the photo?"

"Of course it's yours, I'll see you later."

"Promise is debt!" He said before giving her another stunning kiss and leaving the room and her, completely stunned.

….

That late afternoon Cassie was walking through the park where the most magical and absurd situation of her life had begun. She had just sent the camera back to Cintia but the effects caused by it would remain forever. She didn't know what had happened to Raj and Sam's parents, as she didn't know either of them very well before the change happened, but she tried not to blame herself for whatever had happened as she had no way of knowing at the time what she was doing.

Although there was a situation that she knew very well what she was doing, a situation that messed up her entire life, but that she was trying hard to believe was for the best. That overlap practically obliterated the old Andrew and that was her conscious decision, impulsive yes, but deliberate and no matter how bitter the boy had been she didn't have that right, at least Andre seemed to be a wonderful person and was really a good kisser... and there was still the fact that Mr. Washington had the son he always wanted, a son that every father would be proud to have. That alone made her remorse almost disappear.

As she approached the basketball court, Andre waved to her with that fantastic smile on his face and then signaled for her to take a new photo of him and his father. Unable to avoid being infected by his joy, she also opened a smile and with a camera no more magical than usual, she recorded that moment. Knowing that if placed on a scale for good or evil, regardless of the result she was responsible.

Anyone who looked at that image could tell which way the scales tipped.

#male tf #mind change #reality change #jockification #mental transformation #race change

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max1461 · 2 years ago

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I think something that many people of the high-modern bent (leftists, rationalists, etc.) tend to forget when they talk about society is this: many people (I would conjecture, most people) are not hedonists, either in philosophy or practice. There exist many things which people value inherently, above and beyond the capacity of those things to produce pleasure.

One ready-to-mind example is morality: people will often sacrifice their happiness significantly to do what they believe is right. If they happen to have a hedonist ethics, then we might say that they're still trying to maximize net pleasure overall, but if they don't have a hedonist ethics this is certainly not the case. They might, for instance, have a virtue ethics or a deontological ethics, and make great sacrifices to their own happiness in order to behave in a way they believe is just.

The above example is, I think, a special case of a broader class of example, whereby people make sacrifices to their own happiness in order to embody their ideal self. If your ideal self is very skilled at something, you may forgo a great deal of pleasure in pursuit of that skill. Think if Olympic athletes, who I frankly doubt tend to recoup the total lost pleasure of all the strict dieting and regimented lifestyle and so on via the pleasure they get from training and competing. Think of anyone who makes great personal sacrifices for achievement. Or think of the tortured artist, the virtual archetype of a person who cares more about the quality of their work than their own wellbeing. But cases need not be so extreme: I can think of many people who I would consider normal, healthy, happy individuals, who just happen to be a little competitive, and who I suspect are not pleasure-maximizing by spending so much time practicing at their skill of choice. Am I meant to tell them they are wrong for doing this?

There is a tendency in contemporary society to pathologize this way of interacting with the world, even among people who don't conceptualize themselves as hedonists, but I reject the idea that it is something to be avoided. I myself value my own pleasure, of course, and other people's pleasure too. But I also value things above and beyond the degree to which they give me pleasure: I value knowledge, I value success at my endeavors, I value aesthetics, I value the wellbeing of my friends and loved ones. All of these things I would gladly sacrifice some amount of net pleasure to advance. It is furthermore the case that I have been happiest in life, experienced the most pleasurable existence, when I have felt that I was successfully advancing these goals. It is possibly the case that I could experience more net pleasure by abandoning these goals and totally changing who I am (through, perhaps we can imagine, some sort of brainwashing), but I would of course be vehemently opposed to this. And so it is notable that maximizing satisfaction of my non-hedonic goals is also the state which achieves the local maximum of pleasure. Anything greater would involve greater changes to my psyche—wireheading, in short. I think this too is true of many people.

Anyway, I'm not a utilitarian (for mostly nitpicky philosophical reasons), but to a first approximation I am a preference utilitarian. To me, acting justly towards someone means working to make it that their preferences are satisfied in addition to your own, in some sort of appropriate balance where the two conflict. This is not, to a first approximation, hedonic utilitarianism, which differs obviously in how it handles wireheading but which I think also disagrees in more nearterm ways, like (perhaps) "whether we should pathologize highly competitive people" and so on.

Anyway, if you are a local high-modernist dreamer (affectionate) (self-recognizing), and you find me on your post grumbling about something, I think there's about an 80% chance that something amounts to "not preference utilitarian enough!". Or whatever.

#society #navel gazing

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lurkingshan · 1 year ago

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Some Highly Recommended Kdrama

My pal @troubled-mind asked me if I had any recommendations for good kdramas to watch, and my answer to that is: literally always. I put together this short list for them and decided to share in case anyone else is interested.

Parameters for this list: modern setting, strong focus on friendship dynamics, mix of genres, avoid university settings, no one-sided romantic pursuits, and no terribly sad endings

Be Melodramatic/Melo Is My Nature (Viki)

Fantastic friendship focused drama about a group of close friends who all move in together in the wake of personal crises. A healing drama that includes a couple love lines. And an out gay side character (still extremely rare for mainstream kdrama, unfortunately). This one will make you laugh and cry.

Happiness (Viki)

Pandemic zombies attack! Now I am not really a zombie person, but I absolutely love this show. It’s about a pair of working class besties who decide to get married in order to win a housing lottery (one of them may or not be hoping this fake marriage turns real), then immediately get caught in a lockdown with all their new neighbors when there’s a zombie virus outbreak. Shenanigans ensue! This is more action thriller than horror, and the two main characters are some of my all time favs. The writing, plotting, and pacing are tight as hell and it’s a rare perfect 10 for me on that front.

Coffee Prince (Viki)

MY BELOVED. This is an absolute classic genderbend kdrama that I’ve watched several times. The show that made Gong Yoo famous. An honest to goodness queer narrative about a chaebol who meets a girl pretending to be a boy for poverty reasons, falls in love, and has a bisexual awakening. This show was way ahead of its time even if it doesn’t use our modern language (you will not hear the words trans, non-binary or bi/pansexual but trust me, they’re there). Also features a fun friend group who all work together at the coffee shop. I try to make everyone watch this one, and recently got @bengiyo and @kyr-kun-chan to watch and validate my read of the story, and they enjoyed it a lot despite the messy hets. Be warned though that this drama is old old, so you’ll need to adjust to the visuals.

Fight for My Way (Viki)

My all time favorite friends to lovers drama, this is a coming of age tale of two best friends and their long journey to getting on the same page about romance. Their dynamic is fantastic and the story is mostly set in their early adulthood as they try to establish themselves in careers and make sense of their bond as adults. Also features their close friends who form a fun little group with them. And Park Seo Joon, a god among drama actors.

Hospital Playlist (Netflix)

If you want excellent friendship dynamics, look no further. This show is all about a group of five friends who met in college and have stuck together for over two decades and all of life’s ups and downs. The story begins when they find themselves all working in the same hospital for the first time since med school and decide to restart their old band. Yes, there will be singing, and no, you don’t have to cover your ears - the cast is stacked with South Korea’s best musical theater talent. This drama is slice of life and takes us through a couple years with them as they reforge their bonds and each deal with their own family baggage and love lives.

Misaeng (Netflix)

My all time favorite workplace drama that has the unique distinction of being the only show to ever make me literally burst into happy tears. No romance in this one. Story centers on a former baduk prodigy (think if Reply 1988 Taek stalled out instead of becoming a master) who attempts to enter the workforce with no discernible skills. He bumbles and fumbles and alternately competes with and bonds with his fellow interns, and forms a deep and lasting relationship with his mentor. When I tell you this show is a master class in writing to create emotional stakes, phew! How else can you explain me getting deep in my feelings over the success or failure of an import/export company?

My Mister (Netflix or Viki)

This one is a bit darker, as it deals with themes of intergenerational trauma, abuse, poverty, depression, and general ennui. Not a romance, this drama focuses on the strange and unexpected bond that forms between a middle aged man and a younger woman working on his team. They meet at an important inflection point in both their lives and forge a friendship that changes them both. Really moving and utterly beautiful, with an ending that will make you feel happy to be alive.

Extraordinary You (Viki)

Time for a change up! This is a fantasy show in which the main character becomes self aware and realizes she is a side character in a manwha. Technically set in a school (inside the manwha) but not actually about that. She bonds with another side character who is self aware, and the two of them start working to change the story so that they can break free (and fall in love while doing it, naturally). The concept of this one is just so cool and they do a lot of interesting things with it, plus the visuals are stunning.

The Uncanny Counter (Netflix)

Because I know you liked Oh No! Here Comes Trouble, I’m adding this one about a kid who discovers he has superpowers and teams up with a little found family of grim reapers to fight evil. The family unit is great and there’s lots of good stuff in their various relationships with each other. This one is a lot of fun but also touches on the characters’ sad backstories and family lives.

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo (Viki)

You said to avoid university settings but I’m adding this one in case you want to give a classic college romance a try. My fav in that category, it’s a sports romance between a weightlifter and a swimmer who used to be childhood friends and reconnect in college while they’re struggling with performance issues, body image, and romance. It’s a friends to lovers slow burn and they are utterly adorable.

If you like any of these, let me know and I can give you more recs!! Y’all can hit me up anytime, getting other people to watch my fav shows is one of my number one joys in life.

#kdrama #kdrama recommendations #kdrama recs #shan recommends

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yeetmeoutthewindowdaddy · 2 months ago

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Ranking the camp companions on their childrearing abilities:

The companions are ranked by how I think they'd do as a single parent.

#1: Halsin

Not only will that child survive, they'll thrive. (Halsin is DJ Khalid when it comes to taking care of orphans; another one!) They might have problems with feeling unimportant or overlooked becuase of the many, many, other children competing for Halsin's attention. But they'll always be 1000% loved and supported.

#2: Wyll

The child will survive and do great, so long as Wyll goes to therapy for his own daddy issues (Ulder is a shitty father, you cannot change my mind.) and is not in Avernus with Karlach, and Mizora has buggered off. I feel like the child would have a naïve outlook on how the world works, and would experience a rough paradigm shift when they inevitably see how unjust it really is. And they would have to grow up in Baldur's Gate, the moral cesspit of Faerûn. But Wyll is such a sweetheart that I think the kid will turn out just fine and mostly well adjusted.

#3: Lae'zel

(I am honestly shocked at how high she ranks on this list.) The child will survive and do well, so long as Lae'zel reads plenty of parenting books and asks for advice/ help. Though the kid might have abandonment issues/ an avoidant attachment style because their mother was always away at war. They may also have an identity crisis from not feeling like they belong either in Gith society or Faerûn society. But the child will grow up to be decisive, fiercely independent, and capable.

#4: Gale

The child will survive and do well, so long as Gale goes to therapy for his daddy issues, and Mystra's abuse, and his fucked relationship with Elminster, and if he isn't a God, and if he doesn't have the orb in his chest anymore. Though they may develop into a gifted kid who needs academic validation and will eventually face burn out if they don't relax. Or they'd feel like they've never made their father proud becuase they're dumb. Gale won't do this intentionally, it would simply be a by product of the child having a respected academic/ magical prodigy as their father. They might also have self esteem issues from Gale handing them off to his simulacrum when he got overstimulated by their normal (young child) behavior.

#5: Karlach

The child will survive and do fine. I just don't personally see Karlach as a mom, she has fun aunt vibes. But as a mom I think she'd be too permissive in her parenting. Or she could over correct because of her own childhood and be overbearing. Or a baffling mixture of both. Having a mother who has an infnal engine for a heart would probably result in the kid having seperation anxiety/ health anxiety. However, the child would never doubt that she loves them and their home would be full of joy.

#6: Shadowheart

The child will survive and do alright. Shart doesn't have any memories of her own childhood (that aren't Sharran abuse) to guide her. Her mother will probably die before the child even reaches 2, and even if she lives then she'd not be fit to help take care of a child. Her father has been a prisoner of Sharrans for ~30 years, I don't think he's going to be a whole lot of help. Shar is absolutely going to be a petty bitch and go after the kid. I think that Shart will try her hardest to properly raise the child, and the kid will eventually see that— but the child is definitely going to have to go to lots of therapy.

#7: Jaheira

The child will survive, but they will have abandonment issues and mommy issues. I love Jaheira, but why in the fuck did she decide to adopt a bunch of kids and then not raise them herself for the majority of their childhoods? The kid's going to have anxiety issues, as they'd know from a young age that they're a target for anyone who has a grudge against the Harpers. They're probably going to have problems with authority figures. Also, potental parentification depending on their age.

#8: Minthara

The child will probably survive, but they will have many issues. Two words sum up my reasoning: drow parenting.

#9: Astarion

The child might survive. Astarion would do well as the rich eccentric uncle who is fun but is only seen 2x a year for 30 minutes, at most. Who in the fuck looked at this man and said "Yes, he's fit to be a parent."? He struggles with his own emotions, he doesn't like being touched, he doesn't like loud stinky things, he can only ever go out at night, not to mention the "200 years of shit, PURE SHIT." he 'lived' through. He only had his own fucked up "family" as a reference to how families interact. Even with trying his best that kid is going to have an avoidant-anxious/ disorganized attachment style that will single-handedly keep a therapist in business for many, many, years. If he is the biological father of the child then the kid will probably resent him because they'd be a damphir. If he just adopted a random kid they'd resent him for raising them himself instead of giving them to someone (Halsin) who could properly care for them— assuming that they survive long enough to develop resentment that is. (Astarion: "I feel like I'm forgetting something important. Eh, must've not been important if I forgot about it." The the important thing he forgot was, emphasis on the word the word was, the child.) The only reason he's not lower on this list is because he'd actually have some amount of genuine affection for the child.

#10: Mizora

The child might survive, but they're going to be fucked up. Mizora is absolutely the narcissistic, literal devil (cambion) Karen Toddlers in Tiaras mom who tries to live vicariously through her child and reacts severely negatively when said child has their own personality/ wants and dreams. She's not going to focus on raising them, she's too busy brown nosing Zariel for that. She seems like someone who would take out loans in her child's name when they're a minor and not pay them back, thus fucking the kids credit score before they could even walk. She will tell the kid "You're lucky to be alive." She makes Joan Crawford look like a stellar mother. Actual hell itself is not a good environment for a child to be raised in.

#11: Minsc (and Boo)

It's a miracle in and of itself that Minsc has managed to keep himself alive for as long as he has. Even with Boo's help it would be a miracle if the child survives. He'd feed an infant raw honey and give the poor kid botulism. (Seriously y'all, don't give babies honey.) The best thing Minsc could do is hand the kid off to Jaheira to "raise" them for him.

#12: Withers

"No."

He ain't even going to try. Do not hand him a baby, he'll place it on the floor and walk away like a Sim does.

#13: Volo

🗣🔥🔥🔥 We ain't making it past infancy with this one. Poor kid never stood a chance.

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soliloqueeer · 5 months ago

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art, patrick, tashi & astrology

anyone else ever wonder what art, patrick, and tashi's big three are? no? well, i have.

(the stars wrote that they'd all be compatible in some way, but also drive each other insane).

art donaldson:

libra sun: charming, sociable, and diplomatic. values harmony and balance in their relationships and surroundings. has strong sense of justice and fairness, often striving to create peace and avoid conflict. very unsuspecting and unwilling to take the blame. has deep desire for beautiful things.

cancer rising: comes across as nurturing, sensitive, and intuitive. very caring and protective of their loved ones, often putting others' needs before their own. may appear reserved or cautious when first meeting people but are deeply loyal once they form a bond.

virgo moon: can lack self-confidence. content with living “regular”, unassuming lives. easily overwhelmed by pressure and stress. quite shy in love, easily intimidated on a sexual level, but they aim to please nonetheless.

patrick zweig:

leo sun: confident, charismatic, big personality - enjoys being the centre of attention. has a strong sense of pride but they may be perceived as conceited and self-absorbed. leadership comes naturally to them. craves approval and affection from others.

aquarius rising: unique, independent, forward-thinking. often seen as unconventional and may have a rebellious streak. can come across as sociable and friendly but may also appear detached or aloof. likes getting a rise out of others, are quietly provocative and irreverent.

pisces moon: deeply sensitive and strongly intuitive. very empathetic and perceptive of people and their emotions & inner-workings. they can be flaky and absent-minded. very idealistic - sometimes sees the world through rose-colored glasses.

tashi duncan:

aries sun: confident, energetic, assertive. natural leaders with a strong desire to take initiative and pursue their goals with enthusiasm and determination. often direct, courageous, and willing to take risks.

capricorn rising: presents themselves as disciplined, ambitious, and responsible. they ooze competence, and are very image-oriented. sets long-term goals and works diligently to achieve them. may come across as reserved, cautious or dead-pan.

scorpio moon: emotional life is intense, passionate, and deeply private. due to strong emotions, they have a deep need for emotional security and control. incredibly perceptive and intuitive - often able to see beneath the surface of situations and people. may be prone to secrecy and a desire for transformative experiences (i feel like this is why she cuts her hair at different stages of her life).

p.s. i know this is silly but really, to me, its just a fun way to analyze their characters.

#challengers 2024 #challengers #challengers movie #art donaldson #patrick zweig #tashi duncan #tashi donaldson #challengers meta #challengers headcanon #challengersedit #birth chart #character analysis #patrick zweig analysis #tashi duncan analysis #art donaldson analysis #the stars wrote that they'd all be compatible but also drive each other crazy

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duckprintspress · 7 months ago

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hey, i'd like to just throw this out to you, since you're a press so i have a feeling you might know. if i was seeking to publish a book but i didn't want it to ever be sold through amazon, what would my options be?

Hiya!

I'm assuming you mean you're interested in self-publishing? If yes, then yeah, I can give you at least some information about your options. :D

If you don't want to use Amazon, you definitely still have some options for self-publishing a book. I can sympathize with this sentiment; we hate Amazon and I've done what I can to keep our works off there (and, ultimately, failed, but still kept it to a minimum).

There's two overarching questions you'll need to consider when deciding how to proceed:

What formats are you selling? Are you doing e-book only or e-book + print or print book only? What about audiobooks? Which will influence your choices.

Are you mostly interested in direct sales (as in, you personally sell the book to the customer) or sales-through-an-intermediary (as in, a bookstore sells your book to a customer) or distribution (as in, you list the book with someone who acts as an intermediary between you and other vendors)?

As briefly as I can, first, here's what Duck Prints Press uses:

Ingram - e-book (and, once we have one - we're working on our first! - audiobook) distribution. Ingram is the biggest book distributor in the US and has a virtual monopoly on distribution. Even places that aren't technically Ingram, such as draft2digital, usually use Ingram. Because they're a near-monopoly, Ingram has a lot of ability to, well, screw people, and one way they've tried to screw people is they keep making it harder to get into their better services, pushing people to their much-less-supported service IngramSpark. I managed to get the Press grand-fathered in to Coresource, which is their e-book and audiobook distribution system, even tho we don't meet the current minimums for number of titles for that product. I CAN'T get into Lightning Source, which is their better-supported print book distribution service, because we don't have enough titles (we'd need 30, we currently have 10ish). If I wanted to use IngramSpark, I'd have to ditch Coresource, and I don't want to do that because Coresource works great and has good customer support, and so I had to settle on a compromise I don't love until we meet the minimums for Lightning Source - I use Coresource through Ingram for e-book distribution (and don't distribute to Amazon), which is...

draft2digital - print book distribution. This was my work around for not losing Coresource in the name of getting Ingram print on demand (pod), and it came with a price: d2d doesn't let me opt out of Amazon, much to my irritation. So the three titles we currently have pod on ARE on Amazon.

our webstore - e-book and print books, directly sold to the public. Our website lets people download e-books; I package print book orders made through the webstore myself and mail them myself.

in-person sales - I started vending at events last year; this year I'll be doing about a dozen.

All of which goes to show, even trying to publish while avoiding the most evil places is really hard and a source of frustration. If anyone knows a good option for ethical publishing distribution, I'm honestly all ears. Competing with Ingram is extremely David vs. Goliath (see also the recent death of Small Press Distribution).

So: remembering that Amazon is easily the worst but that there's still basically no ethical consumption or production under capitalism...

Ingram

Of the places I'm familiar with, the best-known option with the widest reach for self-publishing distribution is IngramSpark. As mentioned, I don't use Spark, but Coresource lets me completely customize which of Ingram's partners (vendors, wholesalers, libraries, etc.) I actually distribute with, and I've assumed that other Ingram products are the same. I believe IngramSpark is currently free per title; they get paid by charging fees per sale and because they get better listing deals with partners than an individual would get (like, Ingram might get charged x per title they list with, idk, Barnes and Noble, whereas you as an individual would get charged y, where y is larger than x, and Ingram pockets the difference).

I know a lot of people who use IngramSpark and my impression is that when it works, it works really well, but when it doesn't, getting help/customer service can be a nightmare. Virtually everyone I know who has used them has stories about late titles, support taking a week+ to reply, that kind of thing. I believe they have an option to pay for better/more rapid responses from customer support, which I feel kinda tells you everything you need to know about IngramSpark.

Draft2Digital

Another option is draft2digital. They use the Ingram distribution network, but again they can do so cheaper than an individual can because of their bulk sales through Ingram. They also offer e-book, audiobook, and print distribution. I use draft2digital for print and I've been quite satisfied with their customer support, but their print distribution doesn't allow opt-out of Amazon. HOWEVER, I believe their e-book distribution does. At minimum, there's a checklist on d2d about "steps you have to take to distribute e-books through d2d" and I'm assuming if you just. didn't do that checklist. then you obviously wouldn't get your books distributed through them. The other big thing I don't like about d2d (which may also be true of IngramSpark, idk) is that they charge after the first revision. Which is to say: you put together your book, you upload your book, you get it all set... and you notice a mistake. Okay, fine. You fix the mistake and re-upload. Re-uploading uses a "change token." You only get one free change token per title per six months. So, you notice another mistake you feel you have to fix a few days after that first? That'll cost $25. I've personally just kinda... tried to find all my mistakes right off and fix them, and anything I spot after that, I keep a log and will update all of them at the six month point. (I understand why they do this, btw - they have actual humans doing set-up on their end, so if you revise eight times in a week, that's a lot for an actual human, and charging for the tokens forces people to be careful, helps ensure people submit books that are actually ready in good faith, and helps keep costs low. That doesn't mean it's not annoying, though.)

Bookvault

Bookvault is a UK-based print-on-demand option (so NO e-book distribution, just print) that has recently started offerings in the US too. They currently have a relatively limited distribution network, but they're growing, and especially for UK-based people they're a strong alternative. I've heard a lot of positive reports about their printing in a FB group I'm in (Kickstarter for Authors - do recommend, lots of great info there), but I'll own my personal experiences weren't great and I've decided not to keep using them for now. However, if what you primarily want is print books as print-on-demand, and some limited distribution choices, they're a good choice, and they can help with option five below.

Do It Yourself Lite

A fourth option that's a LOT of work is...you add it everywhere yourself. Most places will let you. For example, here's how to sell on Barnes and Noble.com. When I self-pubbed a book a few years back, before I ran the Press, I submitted my work by hand to several different options (B&N, Kobo, Amazon because I still used them then, Smashwords, to name a few). However, doing this isn't the same as distribution - it only will sell through that specific vendor - and as far as I know there are no options for doing print-on-demand those ways (I THINK, tho I'm not sure, that Amazon is the only place you can set up both e-book and pod through a single vendor - it's not something I've researched tho, cause with the Press, doing single-title-at-a-time entry across so many different vendors is simply not realistic).

Side note on this: I don't believe there's a way to list self-pub books on Bookshop.org, but don't quote me on that.

This method also doesn't work well if you want to get your title in with libraries. I researched this a bit well over a year ago now, so I don't recall all the details, but before we signed up for Ingram I DID try to see if there was a way for us to publish and get in libraries especially without involving them, but there...wasn't really. Places like Overdrive that handle e-book-to-library distribution don't really have a way for individuals to submit; I have this vague memory I found a way to do it that involved paying per title but tbh I can't even find that now (though while I was looking I did find this decent-looking article about how to get your self-published book out in the world, echoing a lot of what I say here).

Do It Yourself Difficult Mode

Your fifth major option, and what we originally did as a press, is: do it all yourself. You can get your own storefront (ours is through Woocommerce + Wordpress). You can do your own crowdfunding. You can run your own newsletter (I use Mailerlite), do your own advertising, etc. You can do your own printing (we currently use Booklogix and I'm quite happy with them, their customer service is A+++). You can vend at events, you can market to local bookstores, sell through bookstores that do consignment, etc. You can learn to format your own e-books (I use a combination of Affinity software and Calibre, with an assist from Daisy to improve the accessibility of our e-books). You can get access to stock images and vector art to make things look nice (I use vecteezy). There's a LOT you can do entirely on your own. And that's what I did for myself before I ran the Press, and what I did for the Press for the first couple years we operated.

The reason I changed how the Press handles things? I hate to say this but the sad truth of publishing is that not using Amazon is utterly crippling to a publisher. As of 2 years ago, Amazon represented 67% of all book sales in the United States. Not selling through Amazon means accepting you'll simply be completely unable to reach more than half of the people reading works in English all around the world (works not in English may be different, I don't know that market since I publish in English). And for myself, alone - for my works? I could make that choice. But the Press currently works with well over 100 authors, and I ultimately felt I couldn't make the same choice to them. I tried so so hard not to compromise this, but refusing all distribution, when we were also avoiding Amazon, meant completely hamstringing the ability of authors we work with to market and sell their books. It meant, to work with us, people would have to sacrifice so much of their ability to earn money from their words, and it just didn't feel right to continue in that avenue as we grew. So, I was forced to compromise: first to use Ingram, which I did on the condition that I'd be able to reject Amazon specifically, and then by having to use draft2digital, including their goddamn Amazon print-on-demand, at least until I qualify for a better option, which as soon as I can do? You bet your butt I'll be switching and opting out of Amazon again.

The current climate makes these choices really hard, and I didn't make them lightly, nor did I make them alone - there's about 20 people on the DPP staff, and they all contributed opinions and voted on the final decisions I implemented for the Press in these regards.

(and sorry, I know "what DPP does and why" is a bit to the left of your actual question, but I felt like it'd be weird to make a list of recommendations without including the decisions I've personally made and why - like, why would I recommend you something I don't do myself with the books I publish? So sorry for the info dump.)

The TL:DR of all this is, as far as I know, and as I've been forced to accept as part of the realities of running a small press in the modern world of publishing, is that avoiding one Big Evil (Amazon) with any hope of achieving even a modicum of success basically requires partnering with at least one other Big Evil (Ingram especially). It's a very hard game to win.

HOWEVER, you are doing this FOR YOURSELF, NOT for all the people involved in a business larger than just you. If you're willing to put in the extra work to figure out a lot on your own and manage your own marketing, you can theoretically build enough of an audience to go it alone without Amazon OR Ingram OR places like Kobo/B&N/etc. You'll have to outlay more out of pocket - things like webhosting cost money - and you'll have to be a lot more careful - if you're running your own website instead of using someone elses, you gotta go above and beyond making you're in compliance with privacy rules and such - but it can be done.

And if you don't want to go that route, and your only real "to avoid" is Amazon specifically... use IngramSpark.

Sorry I'm long-winded. I hope this helps! Good luck with your publishing goals!

(and if others reading this have some other advice and resources, things I may not know about, please do weigh in! I bet the asker would like to know, and I'm always eager to learn about new options too.)

#duck prints press #about us #self publishing #faq #yeah ya'll know you can send us asks like this right #and i'll spend way too long answering them and talk your ear off #sorry (not sorry?)

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gachawolfiebloom · 3 months ago

Text

Two Hearts In The City of Love

Chapter 12: Mr Puzzles' Amazing Couples Game Show Fanatic

Cover made by me and Puzzlevision selection is from Smg4. Please do not repost artwork.

Drumroll please...

3...

2..

"Hello and welcome ladies and gentlemen! As always, it's your favorite TV host Mr Puzzles here! Now I know our last gameshow didn't quite go according to plan now did it?"

One of the members in the audience asks "Yeah, didn't you flip out and complete destroy the show because you were jealous of that red, fat, Italian guy?"

"NO! *Ahem* No...we just had a little programming malfunction with our games. But fear not! For this new show will feature all new kinds of games that couldn't possibly be ruined. And you wanna know why? MARIO WON'T BE PLAYING! That's right everyone. We've got all your favorite contestants, invited back for a new show I'm calling: Mr Puzzles' Amazing Couples Game Show Fanatic!"

Mr Puzzles clapped his hands and everyone he had trapped, except Mario appeared. Bob got all territorial and asked "UM EXCUSE ME? WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!?" Mr Puzzles took out a sheet of paper and said "Now let's layout the rules. Each couple will compete in a activity that I have set to test their intelligence (if they even have it ), their physical abilities, and how well they are willing to go for each other."

"What do you mean? We aren't couples." Tari quizzically asked when Mr Puzzles butted in and yelled "YOU ARE NOW!" He clapped his hand and divided 2 partners at each station. Smg3 looked confused as hell until he turned and saw who he was partnered with. "Oi! We're not a couple!" Smg4 did the same as he blushed up a storm and awkwardly avoided looking at Three.

Meggy and Tari also felt awkward when they saw that they were paired up with each other, but neither one was a blushing mess like Four was. Bob stomped his foot down and yelled "I REFUSE TO WORK WITH THIS GREEN BOOGER! I WOULDN'T DATE BOOPKINS IF HE WAS THE LAST FISH ON EARTH! PAIR ME UP WITH BIRDO INSTEAD!"

(Sidenote: I DO NOT SHIP BOB AND BOOPKINS. I JUST SEE THEM AS BEST FRIENDS. NOTHING ELSE.)

Mr Puzzles started to get irritated and nervously laughed. "Don't pay any attention to him folks. I think he's too shy to admit his feelings." The audience let out a couple Awwwww's. Bob was getting really angry and began complaining "HE'S LYING! I'M NOT GAY! I'M STRAIGHT! NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY!" Mr Puzzles put a hand over his mouth and said "One moment please." He whispered "I know you're not gay Bob, but I ran out of contestants and I need a third team. Can't you just roll with it."

As he went back to addressing the audience, Bob kept chanting "NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY-" Mr Puzzles facepalmed and announced "I almost forgot! Whoever scores the most points gets a sPeCiAl pRiZe!" Everyone immediately stopped their belly aching and became incredibly interested. Bob finally shut up and said "ANYTHING FOR MONEY!"

Three swung an arm over Four as he became even more flustered. "Forget what I said. We're the best couple and we're going to crush you all!"

"U-Um...Three can you not?"

Meggy got a serious look on her face and yelled "No way! Me and Tari are the best duo!" Tari thought it was a sweet compliment and didn't even pick up on how Meggy didn't mind letting the audience see them as a couple.

The crowd erupted into excited cheers as Mr Puzzles went back to his happy self. "Alright everyone! First up we have-" He felt a tug on his sleeve as Luigi nervously asked "Uhh...what do I do? I...I don't have a partner." Mr Puzzles noticed that since he didn't cast Mario in this episode so now Luigi didn't have anyone else. "Oh Luigi, you have the most important job of all!" He brought him over to a discount whiteboard and handed him a marker. "You will keep track of scores. Making sure that each team gets the amount of points I say they earn."

"Oh that sounds like fun! I can do that!" Luigi began humming to himself as he made a column for each team. "Wonderful! Now that that's all figured out, we can finally beg-"

"Um can I take a bathroom break! My face feels hot!" Four raised his hand. Mr Puzzles was getting really irritated with all the interruptions, just like his last game show. He turned around with his scary, realistic face and yelled "NO! SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!" Four immediately slumped down in his seat as the audience went silent and Mr Puzzles felt all eyes glued onto him.

"I-I mean...Sorry Smg4, but the show has started already. But don't worry, you'll be an excellent team player. Maybe you'll even win the prize..."

"Now about we start with-"

The sounds of Italian gibberish echoed on stage as Mr Puzzles raised an eyebrow. "Huh...that's strange. But let's cont-"

More gibberish noises that sounded closer as Mr Puzzles angrily said "Whoever that is, please stop so everyone can enjoy the show." The person that was making the annoying sounds didn't stopped. It almost sounded like it came from the audience. Mr Puzzles then froze when he realized something. "Oh crap...I made sure Mario wasn't a contestant, but I never checked to see if he was an audience member!" Sure enough, Mario rushed down from his seat onto stage and said "Oh boy! Oh boy! Mario wants to play games!"

Mr Puzzles virtually tore his eyes out and politely tried getting him to go back to his seat. "Oh sorry Mario, but we have no available contestants for you to partner up with." Mario shook his head and pointed at him. "Mario can play with you TV guy!" Mr Puzzles quickly shot back "No way Mario! The host doesn't play the games and I would never be in a romantic relationship with you!"

"WELL I WOULD NEVER BE IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH BOOPKINS, BUT YOU'RE MAKING ME PLAY!"

"Shut up Bob! And Mario...GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT!" He then asked "Can Mario at least stay up here and watch?"

"NO!"

"Pretty please..."

"No!"

"Pretty please with spaghetti and meatballs on top..."

"Ugh. Fine. But only because we need to get the show started. However, you will not make a sound and you will not move from that spot over there!" He pointed to a far off corner that was almost off stage, but Mario didn't mind. "Yippee!" He hopped over to his spot and hummed to himself, head in hands, excitedly awaiting the first game. "Sorry for the delay folks. Let's get started with our first game."

Trivia Time!

"For this game, you must answer questions of different categories that are randomly selected each turn. The team with the most points wins!" Three moved his hand close to the buzzer, ready for the moment he got the answer. Bob also did the same and Tari looked nervously between their tension. Four had managed to calm down and his competitive spirit was ready to knock his components into the ground.

Mr Puzzles picks up a card from the Entertainment category (no surprise that was the first one) and stars reading "Question 1: In-"

"Oooo can Mario play! Mario is great at guessing games!" Mr Puzzles gave him a cold stare and said "AS I WAS SAYING, In the show F.R.I.E.N.D.S, what was the name of Rachel's colleague that worked at Bloomingdale's in Season 3." Bob and Three buzzed in at the same time when both answered at the same time.

"THE UGLY DUDE."

"Mark Robinson!"

Mr Puzzles made a wincing sound and said "Ohhhh sorry Bob. These answers must be clear and specific so Smg3 gets the point."

"CRAP!" Bob pouted while Three and Four pointed and laughed at him. "You can't beat the true F.R.I.E.N.D.S fan!" He made a flirty look at Four when saying that. Mr Puzzles took out a another card from a different category and said "Question 2: What is-" but was interuppted again when that annoying Italian voice whined "Cooommmeee onnnnn! Let Mario answer this question! He'll be quiettt ifff youuu doooo!"

Mr Puzzles was already ready to kick him out when he looked down at the question and said "Ohhh sureeee." Mario cheered and scooted in with Meggy and Tari. "Hello girls! You don't mind if Mario joins your team do you?" Tari gladly replied "Sure!" Meggy quickly stopped her and informed her teammate "Tari, he doesn't know any answers to these questions." Mario gave her an offended look. "Sure Mario does! Just watch!"

"Question 2: What is the square root of 9?"

Mario buzzed in with his nose and yelled "21!" A bzzt sound played as Mr Puzzles made a fake gasp and said "I'm sorry, but that is incorrect. -1 points for team Megari!" Luigi put a negative point on their score and made a gesture over to the girls that he was sorry. Mario stood up and said "WAT! That's bullcrap! Mario totally got the answer right! He has 1000000 IQ!" Meggy hissed "Mario...get down and go back to your seat."

"NO! The mean TV man is being unfair!" He launched towards Mr Puzzles and yelled "This game is rigged! Mario demands vengeance!" He took the rest of the cards and burned them down with a blowtorch. "HAH! Mario wins now! Hehehehehehehe!" He smugly went back to sitting at the corner and was contempt on seeing how Mr Puzzles would hold up the show now. Mr Puzzles got up and saw the cards were now burnt to ash and he started nervously sweating. "N-Not t-to worry audience. I-I always have some spare cards." He took out a piece of paper and scribbly wrote down a question.

"Now this last one should be easy. What is the weather like today?" Tari instantly knew the answer and buzzed in. "I know! It's-" Mr Puzzles quickly turned to the boys and declared "That's right Smg4! It's sunny! Smg4 wins the game!"

"B-But I didn't-"

"NEXT GAME!"

Outstanding Obstacles

Mr Puzzles teleported them all to an insane obstacle course with hoops, pits, and beams. "In order to beat this game, both opponents must safely cross to the other side that is marked with the handy flag." He pointed way across where a tiny checkered flag was waiting in the safe zone. "We have to cross that!?" Tari cried out in fear. A little thing Mr Puzzles forgot to mention was that there was fire, swinging weapons, and many other deadly traps sprinkled along the way. Bob didn't care. He ran towards it, singing "GIVE ME THE MONEY!" and flung himself straight into the middle, where he was pierced by arrows and got a sword stuck in his head. He evaporated as an X appeared on screen and the announcer yelled "DEAD."

Mr Puzzles laughed and said "Oopsie! Looks like Bob is eliminated from the rest of the show! Sorry Boopkins, but you can't play without a teammate so you're disqualified too." He snapped his fingers when Boopkins was right in the middle of a sentence. "Wait...what-" He began evaporating as well as he screamed himself out of existence. "Now for our two remaining teams, good luck!" Meggy and Three lined up against each other, both wanting to prove their athletic skills. Four and Tari were nervous from all the deadly contraptions. When the horn went off, Three and Meggy ran lighting fast through the course while Four and Tari barely ducked out of the way of swinging maces.

"Ooooo can Mario join in!" Mr Puzzles angrily turned around and yelled "NO! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Mario grumpily crossed his arms, but then got an idea. When Mr Puzzles wasn't looking, he tiptoed past him into the obstacle course.

Tari carefully jumped over a pit when she saw a bazooka firing straight at Four. "Look out!" Four turned and saw the missile hurdling towards him as he shut his eyes and prepared for the worst. Instead the missile just stopped, crying "Ohhhhh nooooo!" and poofed. That was strange. He saw Three and Meggy leaving without them and cried "Oi! You guys know that if we die, you lose right?" Both of them stopped, realizing he had a point.

Tari was dangling over a pit of fire. "I'm coming Tari!" Meggy yelled as she ran over to help her up. "Are you okay?" Tari breathed heavily as Meggy pulled her in for a hug of comfort. "Don't worry. You're safe now." Three saw his chance to go, but saw Four trembling as the weapons were coming by the bucket full. He groaned and went back to grab him. The slight hand touch made him flinch as he stuttered "S-Sorry...did you get hurt?"

"No. I'm okay. Thanks for coming back for me."

Mr Puzzles was sitting back in a chair, munching on popcorn and watching through binoculars. It seemed like the show was going really well with emotion, drama, and suspense, except one contestant didn't belong. "MARIO!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!" He was running past the two teams, flashing the loser sign at Mr Puzzles when he saw the flag in sight. "YIPPEE! Mario is gonna win!" Mr Puzzles quickly snapped his fingers when he saw Mario was only a few feet from the finish.

He reached his hand out to grab the flag when the floor fell out from over him and he evaporated back to his seat in the corner. The rest of the contestants fell through the floor, but luckily Smg4 was the closest to the finish line. "Wonderful! Smg4 has done it again! Add some more points on the board Luigi!" Four hazily holds his head as he says "I think my brain just committed SUICIDE." The green Italian happily nodded as he added more points to their score, but Mario stole the marker for him and gave himself infinite points.

"HAHA! Mario wins the game now!" Mr Puzzles stole the marker back and yelled "MARIO DOES NOT WIN THE GAME! SMG4 IS SUPPOSED TO WIN! YOU WEREN'T EVEN A CONTESTANT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Mario points a finger in his face and says "So you admit it! These games are rigged! Bad TV man is a stinky cheater!" Mr Puzzles looks over and sees that the crowd was starting to boo him. "No no no no! I'm not cheating!" He clenches his fists and storms over to Mario. "I am finishing this show and nobody is going to stop me! Not you! Not anyone!" He takes some chains and locks and tied them around Mario, kicking him into the corner.

"FINAL GAME!"

Truth or Dare

"To play this game, all you have to do is give an honest answer to any question that an audience member asks or whatever they dare you to do. IS THAT ALRIGHT WITH EVERYBODY!" He creaks his head over to Mario and narrows his eyes at him. The Italian looked at him with a glazed look in his eyes. "Okay great! Who would like to ask the first question?" One guy in the back immediately raises his hand. "Yes. What is your question?"

"I dare Smg3 and Smg4 to recreate the 6:50 minute of snow trapped!"

Both boys immediately tense up and their faces become red and hot. "Uhhh...." Mr Puzzles doesn't pay attention to their awkwardness as he claps his hands and a igloo drops down. "Well you heard the audience. Climb in and do your thing!" Four and Three don't say a word, but they slowly begin backing up. Mr Puzzles stops them and throws them in, blocking the entrance with snow. "See you later~"

"Now then, do we have any questions for the girls!" Another audience member raises his hand and asks "What is Meggy and Tari's favorite bonding activity?" Before the girls can answer, them and Mr Puzzles hear a suspicious thud. It starts to speed up as Mr Puzzles swivels his head around to find Mario humping the igloo. "Come on! Come on! Mario wants to see the gays making out! Commmeee onnnnnn!" Mr Puzzles anger goes through the roof as his body turns a bright red and his TV box begins to fume.

"THAT'S IT! MARIO IS DISQUALIFIED!" He slaps Mario so hard that the igloo and Three come with him, the three of them crashing into Meggy and Tari. Mr Puzzles stands in shock for a few seconds and says "Well it took some time, but we finally have a winner! Smg4 wins the sPeCiAl pRiZe!" He grabs Four and tells him "Now let's go see what it is!" He used a remote to open a hole in the wall and begins pushing Four towards it.

The rest of them just sat there flabbergasted. "He didn't really win did he Luigi?" Three asked. Luigi stood there, staring at a broken board and shrugged. "I guess...he did?" Mario instantly recovered and saw the two heading into the prize room. "Oh boy! Oh boy! Mario wants to go see the prize!" He sneaks into the secret compartment, unknown to Mr Puzzles.

He excitedly awaited the grand prize, expecting it to be a never-ending spaghetti maker or something. Instead he was met with a dark room that was completely empty. Well...not exactly. Mr Puzzles led Four up to a scary looking machine. "Is...is this the prize?" Four nervously asked. "It sure is! And it's all yours!" He flipped a switch and two giant claws grabbed onto Smg4's arms. "Hey! What the-" They dragged him up as Mr Puzzles snickered.

This wasn't at all what Mario expected. He tried to run back out the door, but it closed on him. Mr Puzzles said in a cold tone "You see, I had to make you win somehow. I needed you."

"W-Why do you n-need me?"

"Oh, for something far important. From now on, you will serve me as my partner."

"WHAT!?"

"Thank you Smg4 for everything."

That was the last thing he said before he pressed a button and a wave of electricity shocked through his body. "AHHHHHHH!!! STOP IT!" Mario couldn't do anything, but watch as his best friend was tortured by Mr Puzzles. His relentless screaming. The increasingly inflicted amounts of pain. What...What exactly did Mr Puzzles want with Smg4? Why was he trying to capture him all this time?

"STOP IT PLEASE! Ş̶̨̤̫̞͖̃̔͒̃̎̓̍̅͛͆͠T̴̳̞̭̘̥́Ò̸̠͔̮̹̯͇̻͈̯̼̲̈̃́͋͛͗̄̎̕͜P̵̮̰̫͎̱̈́́͊ ̸̭̻̼͕͍̱̳̝͌͋͗̔̔́̈́̇̃̓̓̑͜͝I̶͈̹͚̫̭̞̙͕̞͑̇͐̇̌̀̓͗̆T̴̡̢̜̣̞̩̼̞͎̲̬͖̖͛̈́̓̾ͅ ̸̨̬͈͓̞̝̳̼͚̓̇͝S̷̨̰̰̮̝̯̺͔̭͕͉̐́͒̒̉̓̿͜͝Ť̷̳̞̰̇̎̆̀͋͐̏́͛̎̽̈̓͝Ȍ̴̧͓̭͑̐͜P̵͙̳̔̃̌ ̸̧̱̦͙̬̗̝̗̞̲̗̳̮̘̋́͂̈́̋̐͊͐̈́̆̈́͂͑͘͝Ḯ̴̧̧͈̮͓̫͎̙̼͔̖̪̇̑͘͜T̴̮̟̜͍͎̮̜̗͉̽̐̎̔̌͂̂̃̚ ̴̳͈̻̤͖̲̫̝̘̗̫̘̜̫͌̒͐̈́̓͗́̀̋͊̌͝S̷̢̬̜̤̝͈͔̪͙͔̫͈͗̈́͂͒̎ͅT̶̛͉̯̾̓̀͜Ǫ̶̜̔̿̃̍͝P̸̨̫̭̱̲̮̞͍̳̺̑͜ ̷̢̃̑̄͐̓͊̎̊I̶̧͍̲̍͋͘T̷͕̭͚͇͖̲̝͖̬̪̩̦̿͐̀̇͋̎̀ ̸̨̳͙̥͚̝̼͓͕̘̻̰̗͛̈́̓͛͗̀͝͝S̷̡̛͙͙̻͚͖̞̮͎͉̓͆̉͂̉͂̅͜T̴͚̮̝͉̲̿̑̾͋͒̇̆͘͠Ơ̴̢͔̩̜͖̫̲̬̬̪̼͂̍̈́͂̅̈́̐̔̕P̴̺̰̪̣̩͉̘͎͈̬͍̭̯̤͐̇̏̈́̋̓̈́̈́͗̄̀̓͝ ̸̢̢̜̳̟̫̥̖̱̭̜��̩̐̒͐̄̉̿̍͆̊͗̏̉̈́̚ͅͅI̷̛̥͉̤̰͎̩̔́̅̅͋́́̍ͅT̸̥̮̯̫̙̪̝̯̟̭̻͚͇̈́̅̉̓̓̃͌̂̄͊̈́̑̑̇!̶̭̣͇̤̮̘͉͙͌̊̇͊̽̾̈́̍̀͐͋͑͝͝"

E̵n̸d̶ ̷o̶f̸ ̴S̴i̴m̶u̶l̵a̸t̴i̶o̸n̸.̸

W̵h̶a̷t̵ ̷d̸i̶d̸ ̶y̶o̶u̷ ̶t̶h̵i̶n̴k̶ ̷o̶f̸ ̷T̸o̸d̸a̴y̶'̴s̸ ̷E̸p̷i̵s̵o̴d̴e̶?̷

Chapter 13: PuzzleVision's Grand Finale

#smg4 #smg3 #smg34 #smg43 #smg4 x smg3 #tari #tsundere #love confession #luigi #mario #meggy #paris #romance #comedy

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