#(i love them but it's also to avoid needing to compete with anyone for the striking chestpiece. lol!)

[inamindfarfaraway]

why do you ship poppy and sparrow from eah?thoughts on duchess swan and sparrow?

I have nothing against shipping Duchess and Sparrow! I just slightly prefer to think of them as best friends. Honestly, considering how she’s lived in the shadow of tragic doomed romance her whole life, I think it would be really nice for Duchess to find her happiness without any long-term romantic partner. I feel like she’d have anxiety about romance ending badly for her. Yeah, it turns out destiny is fake, but fifteen or so years of having the inevitable narrative of your future drilled into you and knowing that you are meant, you exist, to be hurt and betrayed and doomed by your romantic partner? That’s gonna mess your attitude to dating up. And since destiny is fake, non-doomed lovers are just one bad day away doom. There is no permanent happily ever after. Anyone could hurt her for any reason; and as she hopefully matures to be nicer and more moral, she could be afraid of hurting her lover too based on her past actions. But to learn that she doesn’t need to be anyone’s love interest could be empowering and liberating. She and Sparrow are definitely each other’s true loves in some way. I personally enjoy the platonic sense better, but the romantic option is just as valid an interpretation.

Okay. Duchess tangent over. Now, as for what I like about Poppy/Sparrow.

Poppy says in her bio that she finds Sparrow cute, but would like him more if he weren’t so arrogant. That’s a good foundation on her part. She sees worth in him, but also his flaws. If he ever wanted to play around with her, her standards and boundaries (and Holly) would force him to get his act together at least a little, which could be a catalyst for his character development.

They both have themes of freedom and rebellion. Sparrow is a Rebel more because he values his personal freedom than because he’s invested in human rights, refusing to conform to the law by stealing, his story by keeping the gains for himself and social norms by being an ass. Poppy loves not having a predetermined future and officially becomes a Rebel to avoid being the next Rapunzel and queen. Her least favourite class is Princessology, where you learn to be a responsible, respectable princess. Sparrow gets that. But she can show him how to express himself and defy social mores without being obnoxious about it.

They’re both creative types with unconventional styles and adventurous spirits, Poppy’s medium being hair and fashion while Sparrow’s is music. However, Poppy is a great, popular hairdresser. She’s good at listening to her clients’ input and giving them what they want, without sacrificing her own integrity. Sparrow is technically a skilled guitarist, but he hasn’t bothered to become as that good a singer, only cares about what he wants and is terrible at responding to criticism. He could learn from her to be a better artist. And I think their alternative aesthetics (I know Poppy’s is still pretty tame and feminine, but that feels more like Mattel being Mattel than the ultimate expression of her alleged personality; fanart that depicts Poppy with a wilder fashion sense my beloved) could complement each other really well.

Conversely, Poppy has sometimes been known to be unsure of new situations or herself, like that whole time she was on the fence between the Royal and Rebel ideologies or when she was nervous about ice-skating for the first time. It’s easy to extrapolate that being raised as the spare to Holly’s heir with the glaring lack of a destiny could have given her some identity issues in general. (Canon doesn’t really show that, but canon shows us so little depth that we have to fill in the blanks.) Sparrow does not have that problem. Ever. He knows who is and what he wants in life, and he’s gonna take it. Maybe he could influence her to be more confident.

It’s less much less obvious because Poppy is genuinely kind and morally principled and socially competent to balance it out, but she has a selfish streak too. She regularly cuts off her magically strong, long and fast-growing hair and sells it. Why sell it? Why not just donate it? Because despite having all the money she could ever need, she wants a little more for herself. She makes a steady profit by selling something she doesn’t have to work for and doesn’t want. That’s a shrewdness and initiative Sparrow can appreciate. I think her choosing centrism wasn’t as callous or stupid as some fans have made out; the Royals have a lot of understandable, sympathetic arguments, the Rebels at this time can’t prove that the other shoe won’t drop and with a Royal sister who’s probably afraid of her going poof, it would realistically be an emotionally fraught political debate for a teenager. But her “Roybel” identity is still a safe position where she tries to have the best of both worlds and can feel vindicated no matter which side wins. And it’s interesting that for as good a person she is and as many friends she has with Rebel stances and/or tragic fates, what drives her from “The face-eating leopards have pros and cons, let’s see how things go” to “Face-eating leopards are bad and need to be fought” is literally “Wait, the leopards want to eat my face?” If anything, I think her selfishness is wiser and more effective than Sparrow’s - she stays inside the law and benefits others enough to have strong friendships and a glowing reputation.

We also see in the ice-skating webisode that Duchess develops respect for Poppy and her courage after initially viewing her as a rival, setting up a friendship and a fun dynamic as Sparrow’s two true loves. Especially if, as I suspect, Poppy wouldn’t make a half-bad partner in crime herself. And on the other hand… Sparrow and Holly. Sweet, gentle, polite Holly who finds nothing more exciting than reading. And Sparrow Hood. Needing to coexist and learn to get along. That’s hilarious. Imagine the wedding speeches.

In the original Rapunzel tale, she was born to poor farmers and married into royalty, so an O’Hair falling for a commoner is at once a reversal and a return to form. It feels fitting.

Likewise, the original Robin Hood was in some versions a nobleman who abandoned his decadent lifestyle to serve the lower classes. (They weren’t always comfortable having a true peasant hero.) So I like the idea of Sparrow inverting that with his journey, being a greedy, selfish scoundrel as a poor kid and then only gaining riches after becoming equally rich in compassion and generosity. Only once he’s ready to share the wealth does he get access to a royal treasury. Legally, even!

Thanks for the ask! It was very fun articulating my thoughts and feelings about these characters, I’d never done that before and I thought of a few new arguments while I was writing this. I love all of them even more now.

[crowlore]

is dawntrail seriously just around the cover it honestly feels like endwalker just came out

[hypewinter]

I got a take on the Danny is Damian's older brother au. He's Damian's brother but he's his adopted brother. So hear me out:

Danny is running away post TUE and he encounters some assassins. For whatever reason they get into a fight and he beats them. This ends up getting back to Ra's who is quite curious about who beat up his most prized assassins effortlessly. After some investigation, he extends an invite for Danny to train under him. On Danny's part, he jumps at the chance to disappear off the face of the earth and have a free place to stay.

Danny ends up being an absolute prodigy. This is him close to being Dan so his morals are much shakier. He doesn't leap at the opportunity to kill, but he's most definitely not above it if need be. Combine that with his ghost powers and personal training by Ra's himself and the guy becomes like the golden standard within the league. So much so to the point where Ra's even names him his heir and adopts him. Though Danny insists he is his adopted grandson and not adopted son.

Flashforward to Damian being born and Ra's obviously wants him to be his new heir. Not that Danny has any problem with this. He's very clearly Ra's favorite considering the things he's allowed to get away with. Like letting targets go, having worldly possessions in his room (TV, gaming console, computer, etc), and even befriending his subordinates (Ra's particularly doesn't like that one but knows Danny will never allow it to become a weakness for him). Even if Danny wasn't the heir, he would still maintain a significant level of authority within the league (again not that he cares about having power as long as there's a roof over his head).

The problem is, Damian can't compete with Danny. After all, who could match up to a highly trained half ghost with dubious morals? Let alone a kid. Too bad Ra's doesn't see it that way. He sees Damian as a failure who will never measure up to Danny. That's why he sends the boy off to live with his father. It's under the excuse that he'll be receiving a different sort of training but in reality, the Demon Head no longer wants anything to do with his biological grandson.

Obviously this turns into quite the complex for Damian. Meanwhile Danny absolutely adores Damian. From the moment he was introduced to the baby he was ecstatic. He'd always wanted to be an older brother. He would constantly be barging into Damian's room to hang out and whenever they'd sparred together, he'd try to let him win. Ra's quickly caught onto that one and put a stop to it immediately though. Basically Danny is Damian's League of Assassins version of Dick. An example of what he's supposed to be that he will always compare himself to (and that also has no idea what personal space is).

Danny loved his little brother so much that he even managed to get a mission to Gotham about a year after Damian had been sent there in order to surprise him with a belated birthday present.

The bats are absolutely shocked with an assassin suddenly charges at Damian and before anyone can react, scoops him into a hug. Damian is screeching bloody murder as he attempts to get Danny to let him go. Danny is just hugging him while saying stuff like "I missed you little brother" and "You've grown so much since I last saw you" all while avoiding knives to the chest.

The bats get shocked x2 because wait.... little brother!? Talia had another child!? And one far older than Damian to boot. Damian is quick to clarify that Danny is adopted while still trying to stab him. Imagine the boy's horror and Danny's delight when he gets invited back to the batcave to speak further.

[etherealstar-writes]

I WANNA BE YOURS | WOSO X READER | PT 17

pairings: woso x reader

summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.

part: seventeen

part one here

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

Y/N PROTECTION SQUAD

lotte has anyone checked on y/n lately?

lessi no why? what's up

lotte i feel like she's been trying to ignore us and the groupchat is quite dead that itself should be ringing some bells

niamh last time i saw her was when we went to nandos together a week ago but i could tell she was feeling a bit down, and these past few days she keeps saying she's busy or tired whenever i try to make plans with her

charli same here

leah wait you guys went to nandos again?!

steph that's what's concerning you the most rn omg? nandos? and not my child?

kyra i think we should revoke leah's privileges to be in this chat tbh raise your hand if you agree ✋

niamh ✋

lotte ✋

lessi ✋

charli ✋

katie ✋

steph ✋

georgia ✋

ona ✋

ella ✋

viv ✋

leah EXCUSE ME?! ALSO SINCE WHEN WAS VIV PART OF THIS GC?!

kyra see that just shows how uninvested leah is in this gc she isn't worthy to be part of the y/n protection squad

leah kyra istg you're gonna catch these hands the next time i see you

steph oi you won't lay a hand on my children not on my watch, williamson

kyra thank you mum 🥰

the REAL karate kid guys have we noticed that y/n's disabled comments on all her posts lately?

viv the fans and media can be quite toxic i won't be surprised if they caught up to her

niamh sent a few screenshots

kyra oh.

lotte no wonder she's been trying to avoid us she's most definitely seen all those tweets

katie i'm gonna fight em 😈

kyra i'm joining you 😈

niamh count me in 😈

georgia me too 😈

lotte guess i'll see you all on the battlefield

steph the battlefied it is

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

brightness why are we at war in twitter rn

sam the skippa HELP this is so entertaining

rusty metal @ the imposter aka y/n ❤️

meado y/n you need to see this

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ what is happening

mccard y/n protection army reporting for duty

meado

willybum DAMN YES STEPH

rusty metal i need more popcorn for this

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ stop you guys tysm i'm crying

the REAL karate kid you see those are the more .... civilised ones and then there's kyra's ones

pest don't be shy show em 😈

the REAL karate kid

willybum KYRA 😭😭

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ thank you kyra 😈

pest you're very welcome y/n 😈

kie ONA WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS 😭😭

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ PLS IM SO PROUD OF YOU ILYSM HAHAHA

pest our teachings have paid off

ona they sure have pookie 😈

rusty metal STOP 😭😭 you two are banned from teaching her slang

pest it's not our fault you're a grandma

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ okay but genuinely thank you so much everyone you guys really didn't have to back me up there but it truly means a lot to have your support i love you all so much 🥺😭❤️🙏

pest we love ya too y/n ❤️

mccard ❤️

stephy ❤️

neev ❤️

cha cha ❤️

elton ❤️

meado ❤️

viv ❤️

ona ❤️

rusty metal ❤️

the REAL karate kid ❤️

stairway ❤️

willybum ❤️

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

[bunni-v1]

Omegaverse Lighter Ramblings

🍓That Omagaverse ask has had me in a chokehold, I haven’t have the time to write much of anything since finals week started butttt I have to get Alpha!Lighter out of my head and onto my blog IMMEDIATELY!!!

TW: Omegaverse related stuff lol (marking, breeding, excessive use of the word alpha 💀)

Info: Lighter x Reader; Alpha!Lighter; implied Omega!Reader; Spoilers for Lighter’s trust events

-Lighter is unequivocally an Alpha, let’s get that settled. There’s no way he’s anything but. He has that pure alpha male kinda vibe (jsbsishwos).

-Speaking seriously, he presented around when he turned thirteen, and he’s always been seen as an “Alpha’s Alpha”. He’s strong, competent, and he demands respect just by being in a room.

-It’s part of why he became a mercenary in the first place. He just knew he was built to lead a pack, no matter how dangerous the work they did was.

-He was a great head too, his pack loved him and he loved them. He did his absolute best all the time to be the best Alpha he could be, supporting all of his pack members and never discriminating based on their second genders.

-He vowed he wouldn’t become a monster like other Alphas. He heard the stories of pack leaders losing their minds or abusing the weakest members just because they could. It made him sick to his stomach, so he made sure his pack was safe under him.

-So their deaths hit him so much harder. He legitimately cannot handle it, the grief and the devastation turn him into a monster in the ring. He is the perfect picture of everything he swore he would never become in those years, and they’re particularly difficult for him to reflect upon.

-Joining the SoC is also made harder because he’s kind of needing to recover from literally just living on his instincts 24/7. He avoids the girls like the plague cause he doesn’t want to hurt them — it’s his job to do the opposite.

-Slowly, slowlyyyy, he warms up to them and he lets them in and he doesn’t realize how much he missed having a pack to call his own until he has them. This time, though, he doesn’t want to lead and he doesn’t have to.

-(In case anyone is wondering Caesar is an Alpha (no duh), Piper is a beta, Burnice is… Omaga(?), and Lucy is an Omega. Lighter loves them so much, despite the distance he keeps, he hold nothing but respect and admiration for his pack.)

-It’s a good deal he’s got going too. He gets to have a pack full of friends and a home to call his own… and he can also take out any pent up aggression in his fights.

-Okay with all that out of the way, I’ll get into the shit you wanna hear.

-Firstly Lighter smells… peculiar? He’s got this woody kinda undertone and there’s a sharp scent of gasoline on top of it. He smells like a fire before it’s burning. It’s not bad, but it’s really intense and it can be… too much for most people.

-It’s something that lingers in the air even after he leaves. He always tries his best to contain it, but he can’t help that he naturally secretes a lot of his scent. The girls don’t complain, and it’s a good way of keeping people in check, so he never thinks too much of it.

-Though he does notice the odd looks he gets in Lumina Square, he just figures it’s because of the way he dresses or some other thing.

-It’s not till you point out that his scent is so strong that he realizes. You frame it as a good thing (because of course you love how your alpha smells), and he starts like secreting his scent more when you’re around 😭

-Speaking of you fucking REEK of Lighter. He is big on scenting, leans hard into that jealous protective side he has. If you smell like him, people probably won’t mess with you.

-If someone is stupid enough to do so, they probably won’t be around long enough to warn others not to, honestly.

-Imagine regular Lighter’s protectiveness turner up to like ten. He does NOT fuck around when it comes to his mate, not even a little. Those violent instincts come out tendfold when his mate is in trouble.

-So, yeah he scents you a lot, and he’s big big big on marking. You’ve gotta have a visible mating mark somewhere on your person or else Lighter’s gonna be antsy until he can get one on you.

-His favorite ones to leave are on the juncture between your neck and your jaw. The mark is big, but it’s still something that you can hide easily for more professional things.

-He’s quite possessive of you, too. He’s never had a real mate to call his own before, and you are everything he’s ever wanted and more. Excuse him for being a little obsessive.

-His favorite thing in the world, though, is your scent. He practically begs you to scent him every morning and every night. It rarely sticks thanks to how strong his own is, but it’s the idea that he wants your scent so badly that’s so flattering.

-He also wants you to mark him, and he doesn’t care where. His neck? Perfect! His chest? Wonderful! His thighs? Knock yourself out!

-He does LIKE having matching mating marks though, so he’d be very flattered to have your mark in the same place as his.

-Ah, and finally, let’s talk about his rut shall we?

-It’s intense, like worryingly so. It lasts about a week and a half, exceptionally long even for alphas, and it’s miserable to deal with alone.

-He used to take suppressants for them when he was younger, but during his time in the ring he just learned to lock himself away and deal with it.

-There’s little to no relief during his ruts when he’s alone. He can fuck his hand or use toys and cum like that and he’ll be fully erect within a minute later.

-He gets these awful fevers that, the first time it happened, the girls thought he was legitimately dying until Bug Daddy realized what was going on and chased them off.

-He really struggles to keep himself mentally in check during his ruts, so he usually locks himself away until it’s over for everyone’s well-being.

-When he gets with you, though, it’s… different. They’re MORE intense, like to the point it concerns him a lot. He connects pretty quickly that it’s because his alpha knows that he has a mate now, and it wants its mate to help it out.

-He’s kinda afraid to let you help, though. He’s not exactly coherent or even remotely considerate of anything during his rut. All he’s thinking about is how badly he needs to fuck whatever hole is in front of him (specifically, how badly he wants to fuck your hole and stuff it full of his pups).

-You’re insistent about it though, and he can only say come up with so many excuses before he finally gives in.

-It’s literally life changing, I’m not joking.

-He gives you a whole rundown about being safe and how you need to put yourself first no matter what and blah blah blah.

-He’s so fucking sweet to you during his rut, I’m not joking. It’s literally like his alpha is sedated by your presence, and he’s so incredibly obsessed with keeping you happy and satisfied with him.

-Anything you want it’s yours so long as he gets to be with you, okay. Just the smell of your skin is enough to make him sigh in relief. Let alone the touch of your skin.

-He’ll split open your legs and eat and eat and eat until you’re sobbing for him to do anything but. He can’t help that you taste soooo good on his tongue. He can’t get enough of that delicious flavor you’ve got, not when he’s so far buried into it now.

-God don’t even mention how you feel around him. It’s actual heaven, you letting him rut into your sweet little hole, all because you love him. All because you want to help him out. Oh, it has his alpha purring in delight.

-So many positions, most of which have him bent over you so he can coo in your ear how good you feel. How he can’t wait to see your tummy swell. How much he adores being inside you.

-It still takes him a while to cum, despite how satisfied he is being inside of you. It’s just how his body is, but when he does cum it’s A LOT. If he’s not knotting you you are almost drowning in it.

-Forbid if you play with it, he’ll be hard again in less than ten seconds and ready to go again.

-When he cums, though, he always leaves a nice bloodied mark to enjoy for later. Your whole neck is pretty much black and blue from how many he leaves.

-That’s okay though, you enjoy it too, which only motivates him to keep going more and more until you tell him to stop.

-You’re his cute little mate, all his to mark up and stuff up. The way you squirm when his knot swells inside you makes his toes curl.

-And when you whine about being “too full” as he pumps load after load inside he can’t help but laugh at you. You wanted this after all, don’t complain when he’s giving you exactly what you asked for.

-Having you during his rut shortens it a significant amount, and it usually only lasts four to five days so long as you’re available.

-After the fact he’s so doting, feeling so bad for splitting you apart and stuffing you too full. You usually need a few days to recover together, and it’s full of nothing but pampering and loving from your oh so adoring mate.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

complicated feelings about book 7

Hey, hello, hi!!

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts and feelings about the direction the main story is going in ever since 7-100. I wanted to wait until the hype for the book 7 part 9 and anticipating part 10 settled down a bit before I made this post, as I wouldn’t want to impede anyone’s excitement for it—and now that time has come.

While I wouldn’t say I’m being entirely negative or harsh in this post (I’d say I’m being “worried” in my critique at most), I’d caution you to avoid it if you think it would upset you or mess with your enjoyment of the main story, especially knowing that the book 7 part 10 update is coming later in August.

Thank you for your time ^^ and without further ado…

I started to feel iffy about how the story is going around the part Idia wakes up. At the time, I remained optimistic and brushed it off. However, the inkling I had then has since magnified, especially with the recent Scarabia update.

What is that issue with, you may ask?

The dream hopping and waking segments.

They feel so… for lack of a better term, dissatisfying?? Rushed?? I don’t know, but I’m left still feeling like (just as Ariel says) I want more. I was hype when they first happened, but with each new update, I let myself sit with what happened for a few days and, thinking back on it, problems start to arise.

Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT saying that these segments are lame or that they don't make sense. I love being able to delve into the dreams and see a ton of novel yet absurd things, and I love how genius Idia's plan is. It makes sense narratively and I, of course, appreciate being able to see the dreamscapes and the desires of so many beloved characters. BUT... The problems primarily come down to pacing and the overabundance of contrivances.

The set-up itself is elaborate but also keeps piling up more “but also we need to do THIS” details that seem to overcomplicate things or act as red herrings. Silver’s UM itself is already warranting an explanation, then we got Idia’s video presentation, now we have to account for leaving people and hologram projections behind… all for the sake of limiting how many people travel to the dreams because OH YEAH we also need to consider Malleus catching on. It’s contrived for the sake of the narrative giving everyone a chance in the spotlight before the Big Finale. The universe has to dedicate so much time to explaining how this is feasible or why people need to stay behind in order to justify the pacing and to avoid an increasingly growing group from competing for attention. We spent SO long on just exploring Lilia's dream that the shift to waking up all these other characters seems so much quicker by comparison. It's natural that we can only devote so much time to each character (since we have so many students to collect), but it also results in some people feeling very rushed or not fully realized. For example, Epel only gets 5 parts dedicated to his turn-around but Kalim gets 8. This variance naturally occurs as some dreams are less serious than others, but despite this it still leans into some non-OB boys getting more of the spotlight than others. Additionally, we also see very uneven distribution of lines across individual segments. There is so much information crammed into some parts (like 140 and 141) while other parts are pathetically sparse and not much happens.

When it comes to the OB boys, they of course get longer segments than the others, so it doesn't feel as bad. However, I think the OB boys come with other issues... Namely the "resolutions" to their battles against their OB forms. Not only is there a formula to how they are woken up (which makes things less exciting compared to not really knowing what happens in the main story except for OB boy at the end), but there's also a part carved out for them to give a big speech about how they've changed or how they'll move on from the past, etc. This is especially true of Jamil, who probably had the longest speech of the OB boys thus far.

Now yes, I know it's an anime trope to give speeches (particularly for TWST, which primarily tells its story via dialogue). But does it have to be so... blatant??? Like, the OB boys are usually alone or just trapped with their inner darkness in these moments. Who exactly are they announcing their character change to? It does not feel diegetic at all. This is a lot of telling and not as much showing. That contrasts with the character development we saw in book 6; at least there the OB boys were paired up with other people, so there was someone to bounce off of and butt heads with. It feels like they're having a conversation, actually bonding with their peers, and learning from those tough interactions. (In fact, I would argue that book 6 did this growth in a much better paced and more cohesive manner.) In the dreams of book 7, the interactions have to be shared among several other students and they have to be so much shorter as a result of that.

What we’re seeing in book 7 is character growth we already knew about, but told to us in a more overt way. We are not learning anything new. Waking people in book 7 involves a lot of flashbacks to events that already played out, so rather than any real development being made, it's returning people to the state they were in before (since that "change" was in the process of occurring in the real world).

It feels like book 7 is trying hard to follow through with all the promises the earlier books built up to. And, quite honestly, many of these emotional conversations (like Kalim and Jamil shouting at each other about their flaws) NEEDED to happen. I just don't know if this was the appropriate context for it, because it comes off as an ultimatum or an ending to a story that had so much more left to say.

The way these book 7 segments are framed, the students "waking" is meant to mark a pivotal moment in their development. I worry what this means, because the dialogue is very... resolute? Especially for the OB boys. And them announcing how they've changed out loud rather than in a more subtle way (like Kalim saying he is 'frustrated' but not being able to explain why in book 4, Leona saying that Jamil is "not like him" in book 6; implying that there is hope for Jamil but not for himself, etc.)... It gives the impression that this is the "end" of their character arcs, that their growth is now "complete", even if that wasn’t the intention. I don't feel like that's how character development works?????? It's never really "done", it's a continuous and ongoing thing, so the vibes of it feel a little off. I would have liked it more if it were open-ended or at least vaguer. Still hopeful, but vaguer. These are meant to be triumphant moments, yet I don't get that feeling because it's very repetitive at this point. I've pointed out many patterns myself, and that makes future installments VERY predictable and boring aside from the actual dream settings we visit. We have 11 more students to hit up. E L E V E N. That's SO many. Do you realize how far away that is????? I even ran the numbers:

Idia spans 109 - 116 (7 parts)

Epel spans 120 - 124 (5 parts)

Rook spans 125 - 131 (7 parts)

Vil spans 133 - 139 (8 parts)

Kalim spans 140 - 147 (8 parts)

Jamil spans 148 - 157 (10 parts)

That means, on average, it takes 7.5 parts for each character to wake up. With 11 characters left to do, that means we have at LEAST 82.5 parts left (spread across 3 updates, one for Octavinelle, one for Savanaclaw, and one for Heartslabyul). With the current 157 parts out, that means book 7 is going on until at least part like 240... AND WE STILL HAVE A TON LEFT TO WRAP UP, like Yuu going home, Grim OB, Crowley's intentions, the mystery of Raverne’s disappearance, the truth behind Mickey and Yuu’s connection, beating the crap out of OB Malleus, etc. Book 7 is dragging on for a while, and the novelty of each dreamscape can only last for so long before the same old pesky problems creep in again 💀 The pacing is so weird; it simultaneously feels too long and yet also not long enough. Not only that, but because there are so many other characters to collect, it is robbing Diasomnia and Ignihyde of THEIR promised screen time in the second half of the book.

A lesser issue I had was the weird... tonal whiplash? The dream segments are largely silly and they spend a lot of them goofing around with the explanation of having to "investigate" the dreamer's weak point and hitting on that to wake them. (This complaint runs counter to the pacing issues I mentioned earlier; cutting down on the time spent being silly means we'd be rushing the story, but not having silly parts means dragging the story out. It's hard to really balance the two.) Here I am sitting here and thinking 1) there is NO sense of urgency, 2) what a waste of time, and 3) what a wasted opportunity for Yuu.

I'm not a huge game!Yuu fan; I see them as a blank slate for self-inserting, and since I'm not someone who likes to self-insert, Yuu has little to no value to me and just serves primarily as a vehicle to have things exposited to them and as a POV character. But hey, if the story wants to stress Yuu is important and helps these characters change, then why not do it here??????? There's so few times when they actually do something of importance in the main story (with perhaps their most involved points being books 3 and 4, maybe 6 when they took the initiative to go free their friends/rescue Grim).

A lot of it honestly feels like wasted time since most characters outside of the dorm leader do not change in significant way or in less serious manners. It really falls flat because Yuu largely did not do anything to influence those extra characters, let alone the OB boys.

While talking with a friend, they suggested that non-OB boy sequences could have been relegated to vignettes to go with limited story cards (that way TWST could have more banners, assuming one for each character) or as free bonus side-content that unlocks as an optional thing similar to how the collecting wishes worked in Wish Upon a Star; they are not essential. It feels like they were obligatorily thrown in as fanservice before the big closing. The narrative would have still worked and we would get to the point faster if we limited the main story componeny to just the necessary people (Ignihyde + OB boys).

Another potential route: if you insist on hitting up all the characters before the end, why not give Yuu a chance to DO SOMETHING in book 7 since they're the only person in the wake-up crew to have interacted with all these people we're trying to wake up? The only one who has experienced detailed and prophetic dreams associated with the OB boys???? The one who has been tasked with investigating and resolving various students' issues around campus? Why not let Yuu take the lead in discovering the best method to wake each boy up? Then we'd at least get character development on Yuu's part, get to see how Yuu is positively influencing the boys, and it cuts down on the down time of wandering in circles and making no meaningful progress.

Finally, I think the bad pacing messes with Diasomnia the most. Malleus is being shafted in his own darn book, because we have not checked in with him for several tens and tens of chapters. The least book 7 could do is cut back to him at the end of each OB boy’s dreams??? So we can see how he is doing?? But no, we don’t do that and as a result Malleus feels like he’s been sitting around twiddling his thumbs the entire time. And it’s very odd that the first 100ish parts are so Briar Valley lore heavy but then the second 100+ parts so far completely changed it up. Again, all of this contributes to book 7 feeling like choking on content while also weirdly having nothing meaningful to chew on at all.

*takes a deep breath*

Anyway, those are my thoughts 💦 I would like to reiterate that I do NOT "hate" book 7, I just disagree with the pacing and how they've decided to write in waking up the characters for this current stretch of it. It's no doubt a daunting task and I'm sure the writers are all doing their very best... I don't know if the end product managed to achieve what it wanted to for me though. It’s tiring and repetitive (like bouncing up and down on a roller coaster that cannot decide how it wants to go and leaves you no time to recover/catch your breath), and I’m left still feeling unsatisfied and wanting more.

Theoretically, I like the ideas but not the execution of them… I can only hope that the pacing improves for future updates (especially with the Octa update on the way and attempting to shake up the formula by introducing two story SSRs instead of one), or that book 7 can at least end strongly with that final battle.

[tossawary]

This is a very niche fic idea that I have no solid intention of actually writing, but... "Naruto" has more than a few self-insert fics and some of them are transmigrations into canon characters. Some of them are about OCs who do not want to be a ninja and are desperately trying to get out of it. There's usually some deliciously frustrating tragedy and horror about the brutal and inescapable military system of Konoha.

So, I thought that it would be kind of interesting to do an OC-insert into Sasuke, probably ultimately more comedic than angsty, as the OC tries to fail out of having to become a ninja, but then has to struggle against the fact that a civilian Sasuke would probably be expected to start a new Uchiha clan ASAP. (They probably have to concede to at least becoming a genin for the benefits of legal adulthood of some kind at 12 years old, even if it means being a part of the damn military.)

But even if the OC would personally love to be a parent someday, they cannot condone participating in what's essentially a breeding program for a new generation of Sharingan-wielding super-soldiers. Children who are probably going to be chewed up and spat out by Konoha someday too.

I think it would be neat to have a character treat the Sharingan like a genetic disorder that they don't want a child to suffer. I think it would have been interesting if canon Sasuke had also wrestled with the idea of letting the Sharingan die out. Fuck it, he'll adopt if he wants to be a dad someday. I also think it would be funny to have an OC-insert whose goal is to get a secret vasectomy (body autonomy!) without the leadership of Konoha finding out.

Sasuke, as soon as Sakura becomes a medical nin: "I need you to do me a huge secret favor and NOT be weird about it."

Sakura, also still currently a teenager: "You're asking me to CASTRATE YOU, AT HOME, IN SECRET, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT BE WEIRD ABOUT THIS?!"

(And there's the whole fucking issue of the "Naruto" universe having cloning, so, no, a vasectomy isn't a solid guarantee of getting out of this. But it might buy Sasuke a few years to figure out how to avoid the mad science route too if anyone tries to force marriage on him at any point.)

Even throwing aside the issue of children, even in an AU where the OC-Insert is cool with having bio children, I think it would be really funny to have a Transmigrator Sasuke announcing outright in the first Team 7 meeting that his dream is to retire super early and become a shinobi tradwife to a super strong ninja.

Kakashi: "...What?"

Sasuke, possibly talking out of his ass to troll his team and because he's already spitefully exhausted: "I said what I said. I'm the only Uchiha left to pass on my clan's techniques, so my dream is to be a stay-at-home ninja, supported by a super strong spouse who can protect my family."

I think this would break Naruto and Sakura's brains. ("Marry Hokage Naruto" is not the worst plan that a transmigrator could come up with, probably.) I think that this would be a super funny start to a Team 7 OT3 in which Naruto and Sakura become rivals for the position of Sasuke's shinobi sugar daddy/mommy. (Naruto doesn't consciously realize that he's competing for Sasuke's hand in marriage at first, but he gets it after a few years or so.)

Kakashi is... So Tired. Obito, are you seeing this shit??? What the fuck.

I know some OC-insert / SI-insert into Sasuke fics exist, I just think the funniest plot direction for a transmigrator in this situation would be to completely bail on both the "take revenge on Itachi" and "rebuild the Uchiha clan" dreams in the least macho ways available.

Also, what WOULD Itachi think of Sasuke abruptly deciding to give up on revenge and to become a house husband instead?

[everestgale]

what if. what if I ask about Paranoid. huh what then-

(take your time lol)

Well, good thing you told me to take my time because it took me a while to formulate all of my thoughts on this guy. Damn you Paranoid- /lh

[Send Me a Character and I'll List Ask Game]

Warning: I have some strong opinions on Paranoid, and as a result, I'm worried that it might sound like I'm attacking people or bashing people's opinions/headcanons. So I need to preface this: I am NOT bashing anyone for having different opinions and headcanons from mine. And I am NOT saying that my opinions/headcanons are right/better and other people's are wrong/worse. This is nothing but me sharing my opinions, that's all :]

favorite thing about them

It is insanely refreshing and comforting to see a fictional character with anxiety symptoms, who copes through hyper-competence and vigilance.

Most portrayals of anxiety and anxiety-like symptoms tend to lean towards shy, socially awkward, quiet, and avoidant characters. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! I'm just saying this to explain why having Paranoid, a character with, well, paranoia, be demanding, argumentative, and competent, is so refreshing and, honestly, validating, in a weird way. His response to the horrors, to his own distrust and anxiety, is to laser focus on a solution/an action that he can take to make it all stop… and there is something very relatable in his persistence, in him trying so desperately to claw his way out of this self-imposed, distrust- and fear-filled prison, sometimes to the point of insanity.

And it's very much a self-imposed prison. His distrust, anxiety, and fear are what twist Nightmare into the lonely monster she is, power of perception and all. He is quite literally the source of his own problems, which he then tries so desperately to solve… all of which are immensely relatable. He is a very flawed character with a very skewed perspective… but he isn't a helpless cowering little thing, he is a coward, sure, but he frantically fights back despite it.

I don't even know if this makes sense anymore. But also yes, I project like all hell onto Paranoid. No, I am not sorry about it.

[Yeah, this is also getting long. More under the cut.]

least favorite thing about them

Paranoid, I love you, I would never say no to more Paranoid… but I have to be honest, he stole Skeptic's rightful spot in HEA.

HEA with Skeptic would've been such a nice exploration of his character, especially with how underutilized he still is, even after the Pristine Cut. And realistically, Paranoid didn't need another Chapter appearance, especially since, if I remember correctly, he was the voice with one of the highest number of Chapter appearances, he got an extended role in Apo, and he got an appearance in the Cage. My Paranoid-loving heart is screaming for saying that, but Deconstructed -> HEA should've been Skeptic.

favorite line

"The whispering and the coercion and the bickering — everything horrible about being alive has stopped. I could get used to this."

"Oh that's right! Yeah, fuck this guy. Don't trust him."

"Of course I'm not okay! I've never been okay. But maybe I needed to never be okay for us to make this happen."

"Who deserves something like this? She wants her freedom at the expense of ours, and she's willing to destroy us over and over again if it helps her. What kind of god does that? Stop deluding yourself. If we're going to make this work, all of us need to see the truth!"

…and of course, the classic "Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves."

brOTP

I am obsessed with platonic ParaBroken, especially with the new Apotheosis re-write. Seeing Paranoid absolutely lose his mind as you defy Apotheosis, seeing both him and Hero encourage Broken to see beyond his devotion to Apotheosis... I remember genuinely clapping my hands after picking [Still your doubts.] and hearing Broken go:

"But it's not enough to stop us, is it? We're going to make it to her."

They did it! My boys did it! They helped Broken to see beyond Apotheosis, beyond his perfect goddess... and believe in something other than her. Even better, to believe in them, to believe in him.

And this exchange too:

"That's what should happen. Why isn't it happening? Did we do something wrong? Were all these powerful, heroic thoughts not enough?" "I believe! I believe in us! Isn't that enough?" "Unless we got the rules wrong... I'm sorry. I think I messed this up."

The way these lines are said... Broken's genuine confidence and Paranoid's panic turned into guilt... UGH, I love how their relationship develops throughout this route.

Not quite as rooted in canon (more so inspired by the dynamic written by one of the Discord mutuals), but I also like to imagine that in the post-ending (where they would recover all of their in-game routes as memories), Broken remembers and appreciates Paranoid's persistence during the Apotheosis... and so in turn, he helps the anxious voice with his panic in whatever ways he can. I love my platonic ParaBroken HC <3

Honorable mention goes to ParaCheated, with Cheated being a near-permanent resident of Paranoid Medical Center™, and Paranoid trying his best to patch Cheated up when he falls apart... they hate how often they have to see each other there, but besides that, they have a pretty good friendship :]

OTP

...it's ParaHero [2]. I already talked about it for a while in Hero's character ask. If you wanna know why I like ParaHero so much, check it there :]

...actually, I feel like I didn't do ParaHero justice in my Hero post. It's just so hard for me to explain my thoughts on why I like this ship so much. Just the way they interact during the Nightmare route, with all their bickering and back-and-forth, especially the "I thought you needed me to run the autonomic nervous system" conversation. Despite Paranoid's clear annoyance (and Hero's awful chant), he still gently (but still with his signature snark) guides Hero on how to do it properly. And throughout the route, when Paranoid kept losing control of the autonomic nervous system (either because he kept trying to comment, or because of Nightmare), Hero was there to guide him back, to keep them all alive. Like I mentioned in the Hero post, there's a certain degree of comfort between them that really appeals to me, and I can't quite explain it. It feels like they are protecting and helping each other. It feels like there is trust and respect between them. It just feels like they would get along well.

And during the Apotheosis! How both of them (more so Paranoid than Hero, but still) are trying to convince Broken to join them, how they eventually all do join together for "One. Last. Try"... how in the old Apotheosis dialogue, Paranoid's curious "I'm interested" sort of calms clearly pissed-off Hero... and how in the new dialogue, Hero gently asks Paranoid if he's okay... These BIRDS, UGH-

...the goal of this was to elaborate on my ParaHero thoughts, but instead, I feel like I'm talking in circles. I don't know if anything I said makes sense! Grr! Why are words so hard /lh

nOTP

This is probably one of my only actual nOTPs... it's ParaCold. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that it's mainly for personal reasons </3

And to be clear, this is specifically for ParaCold as a romantic/semi-romantic ship. ParaCold in general is a very interesting dynamic, and I love exploring it, so long as it's not romantic <3

random headcanon

Oh! My Paranoid is the only voice that doesn't have eyes with irises, and instead, he has "glassy eyes full of static" (as a nod to all of the crackly static noises in the Nightmare route. I sort of talked about how his eyes "break" in this post :]). And because of that, I HC that he kind of has a bad vision, loosely inspired by the visual snow syndrome. It just makes sense in my brain that Mr. "More eyes, too. You never mention the eyes" would be the one with noisy vision.

unpopular opinion

I am not a big fan of fem!Paranoid headcanon. It personally just makes me a tad uncomfortable to write my Paranoid as fem, given the fact that he is the most anxious voice, who has a tendency to lose his mind and act what's commonly described as "hysterical", all qualities that are often stereotyped and associated with women and femininity. Plus, I really like Paranoid's representation as a guy with anxiety/paranoia, so writing him as fem feels doubly awkward.

It's a popular community HC, so I feel I should clarify again: this is just me trying to explain why I don't feel comfortable with writing my Paranoid as fem. I am NOT trying to accuse anyone with fem!Para HC of misogyny or anything like that. If you write and HC Paranoid as fem, I respect and support you! This is just my thoughts and opinions <3

…plus, as I already mentioned, I project onto Paranoid a lot. And as a transmasc/genderfluid/not sure nonbinary person, I identify with masc!Paranoid a lot more than fem!Paranoid <3

song i associate with them

I genuinely don't remember how I found this song, but it fits Paranoid really well: "something wrong" by NomnomNami

"those eyes, they continue to spread on the walls on the ground and i don’t think that any place that’s safe is left"

"i know i wasn’t wrong! how can this be my fault? my blood is spilling out your eyes are full of doubt…"

favorite picture of them

Of the art that I made (because canonically disembodied voice and all), this is probably my favorite:

...yeah, it's ParaHero angst. I just like how I drew Paranoid here <3

[puppetwoman17]

Would you ever expand upon your joker junior thoughts more? I think that was such a well written idea and would love to hear what else you think about it

Oh my god yes. 100000% YES!

That post before was more of an idea vomit, didn’t cover all of what I thought, so I’m happy to hear someone wants to hear more.

So, JJ’s always been a tough convo for Tim. Obviously. But it’s not just because of how traumatizing the Joker can be, or about the shocks and psychological torture. It also reminds him of a grim time in his life. With Bruce still going through the motions post-Jason’s death, and Dick frequently spending all his time in Bludhaven, he hadn’t been watched much. Save for Babs, ofc.

That’s actually why they’re so close. She’s much more emotionally competent thanks to her dad, lol.

JJ wasn’t only a big thing for Tim, but for Gotham too. In a place like this, it wasn’t hard for whispers from the Joker’s men to travel to civilians and cops. Everyone knew why Robin was nowhere to be seen. Everyone knew why Batgirl looked the way she did, agitated and worried. Everyone knew why the cops searched that same warehouse over and over, never allowing anyone inside.

Which was also why no one was happy to see Nightwing, very obviously the first Robin, return after yet another sabbatical in Bludhaven. Of course, that stopped a little after everyone collectively realized that, oh crap, he doesn’t even know!

This begins a collective effort by the more clear-minded people of Gotham to NOT disclose anything JJ related. There has to be a reason, right? No way were they going to force Robin #3 to disclose anything he didn’t wait to. It didn’t hurt that a year or two later, a mysterious figure named Oracle began effectively making every news article or picture related to JJ disappear.

Everyone holds their breaths for the next few months. What if what happened to the second Robin happened to him? What if he was too crippled to go back out?

As the Batfamily grows bigger, it becomes way clearer that Robin #3 hasn’t said a WORD. Not even after they grow closer, when the screaming and murder attempts and arguments cease. He doesn’t say a word, so no one else does either.

Tim goes to great lengths to medicate himself against any variant of Joker venom or gas. The familiar smells just… bring things back to the surface.

He tries not to act like Jason whenever the Joker gets out of Arkham. It’s already hard for everyone to hold him back from killing the monster. Jason doesn’t need some second-rate copy of his trauma trying to get sympathy. Unlike Jason, he didn’t die. He didn’t come back differently, or lose footing on his life, his job, whatever.

It would just be better if Tim acted as aloof and concentrated as he always did. Not make a big scene, and follow Batman’s orders to a T. No need to worry anyone.

Honestly, the only reason no one notices the literal war going on in this boy’s head is because he doesn’t want to cause a scene.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what he says when one of the bats finds him the next night, still avoiding them…

Yeah, he full on denies EVERYTHING. Looks whoever it is, Jason, Steph, Dick, straight in the eye and says that what they saw was fake. Edited. Something to threaten Bruce with years ago. Tim just ran because…because…Anyway, he’s fine. Don’t worry about Tim Drake. He’s fine.

Babs groans over the comms when everyone hounds on her to tell them everything. Like hell is she gonna tell them a single thing until she has Tim’s full permission.

[awriterinthenight]

"What'd She Say To You?"- Leo Valdez

requested: anonymous

words: 1817

warnings: reader is insecure, a bit of swearing, reader avoids Leo

summary: Someone tries to break up you and Leo, but Leo won't let that happen. But for you, you start to feel insecure about it.

No one could compete with Aphrodite kids. They were the prettiest, the most charming, and even some of the most cunning. If an Aphrodite kid liked someone they would stop at almost nothing to get them. Some weren't like this, but others could be even worse. To you the worst one was the girl who tried to break up you and your boyfriend.

Jessica, or Jess as everyone called her, had plotted a way to try and get your boyfriend, Leo Valdez, to break up with you so that she could get with Leo. She planned to charm him, and convince him that you were actually a terrible person, so he would then break up with you. What she didn't account for was how much Leo Valdez truly loved you, and could see how clearly she was trying to get him to break up with you.

"And I just think someone as talented as you should not be with someone as useless as them, they're bringing you down," Jess said, trying to make herself be as seductive as possible, which made Leo want to laugh, but he held it in.

Leo shrugged, "I think they're pretty great actually, they're my girlfriend, and they also have some pretty good talents," he defended, watching her get more frustrated the more he wouldn't budge.

"But they're so...them. I mean they don't talk to anyone at camp, that's really weird, don't you think," she uttered, which wasn't a lie, since you were very anti-social.

Once again Leo brushed it off, "They talk to me, I think that's good enough."

Jess knew she needed a new plan since she couldn't get Leo to break up with you, she needed to get you to break up with Leo. She left Leo after that conversation to go search for you.

While Leo and Jess were talking you had seen them from across the camp. It made you feel a bit nervous, since you were the opposite of her, so why would he talk to her, but its not really any of your business, Leo can talk you other people, but still why her, and more of why was she talking to him, and why was she so flirty? So many questions, thoughts, and negative thoughts flooded your mind while you zoned out.

You were startled when Jess herself showed up behind you tapping you on the shoulder. You were shocked as to why she would talk to you. She'd given you more dirty looks than she's had boyfriends, and she's had a lot.

"Hey, I know we don't talk much, but I just thought since I'm a girl’s girl I would tell you what Leo was saying about you," she said, acting as if she was trying to tell you something important and not act like she was lying.

"Oh," you muttered quietly, "W-what was he saying?" you asked confused as to why Leo would say something that warranted her to tell you.

She took a breath and grabbed your hand before she spoke, "I'm so sorry, and I swear I'm just trying to look out for you, but he was saying how you were basically useless. He said how you don't really have a talent, and how he's really unattractive to how anti-social you are. He also said something about how he thought you weren't that pretty, and he's only with you cause you were easy to date and he never actually liked you, which I think is bogus, you're so pretty," if she wasn't such a bad person, she could've won an academy award for her performance.

You were in complete shock from her statement. Did he really say, and think those things? "Wait, but that doesn't- I mean- he never seemed like he believed any of those things, that- I'm just- I," you could barely make out sentences from your confusion, and the shock you were in.

"I'm so sorry, but I think he's completely crazy for thinking and saying those things," she said, dropping your hands, "A little advice that may be helpful. You should really dump him, you deserve someone who truly loves you." She then left, leaving you to wallow in her words that were apparently Leo's.

You had had problems in the past with being insecure, and having fake friends. People used to say things behind your back, and still do sometimes. It affected you deeply, so even though deep down you knew what she said was a lie, most of you believed what she said. It wouldn't be the first time someone lied to you about how they felt about you.

Talking to Leo was the right option in this situation, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. What if he really did say and mean those things? What if he was lying to you all the time? What if every time he called you beautiful he was lying, and wanted to tell you how horrible you looked? What if every time he called you 'mi amor' he never truly meant it?

Every thought spun in your head, making you avoid Leo more and more. You sat by yourself at the Hecate table instead of sneaking to the Hephaestus table like you usually did. You didn't have many siblings, and the couple you did mostly stayed silent during meals. That gave you more time to ponder about everything you ever did wrong.

***

Leo could tell something was wrong immediately. You were avoiding him, not sitting with him at meals for the past two days, and walking the other direction every time he tried to talk to you. Leo was worried about you, and why you were avoiding him so much, so he set out to talk to you about what was going on.

Luckily he knew one place he could always find you at. The forest was your favorite place, especially one tree that dropped a bit and could create the perfect shade. Leo walked over to where you were, building up the courage to confront you.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" he asked, being directed, but his words came out as a plea for you to answer.

You looked up from your book startled by him, but fear of what he might say to you consumed you, "I-I've just been busy with counsellor duties," you managed to lie.

Leo knew you were hiding something, but was doing his best to not get on his knees and beg you to tell him. He sat down next to you, cringing when you moved yourself farther away from him, "You've been busy before, and haven't avoided me. I know something is going on, please tell me what it is, amor."

The name 'amor' made you think of exactly what Jessica had said. You tried to keep yourself together, but a few stray tears slid down your cheeks. Leo quickly wiped away your tears with his thumb.

"What's wrong, princessa?" he asked, worried for you, ready to kill whoever made you cry.

You decided to tell Leo the truth, the worst that could happen was that it was true, "Remember the day you were talking with Jessica?" you asked him through sniffles.

He nodded, letting you continue, "I saw you talking to her, and I might've been a bit insecure, but I tried to think nothing of it. Then she came up to me and said that you told her all these horrible things about me. I know I shouldn't have believed them, but I didn't want to risk them being true and knowing if they were, so I avoided you. I know it was stupid, and I'm sorry, and I shouldn't have been so stupidly insecure about it," you finished, the last of your tears rolling down your cheeks.

Leo was in shock from what you told him, he knew Jess was lying, and he hated how it hurt you, "I don't know what she told you, but she lied. I love you, amor. I'm so sorry," he wrapped his arms around you, placing a few kisses on your forehead.

"I'm so stupid for believing what she said. I'm sorry I avoided you," you mumbled into his chest.

Leo lifted up your chin, wiping away your tears, "You're not stupid. Jessica is just a horrible person. Why don't we go back to your cabin, no one's there. You can tell me about the book you're reading," he offered, knowing you loved nothing more than when that was how you spent your day with him.

You let out a small smile, something Leo was happy to see, "That sounds perfect."

While you two were walking to your cabin, none other than the bitch herself, Jess, showed up to talk to the two of you, "Hey, she said, a bit flirtatiously to Leo, while once again giving you a dirty look.

"What do you want?" Leo asked, annoyed by her from what she did to you.

"Nothing, just surprised you two are still together," she said, disgusted by it. You could feel yourself tense up from her words.

Leo was done with her, and her bullshit, "I think we're going to be together for a long time. I don't care for you, so I think you should move on, and leave her alone."

She seemed shocked by what he said to her, "Fine, but when you break up, don't crawl to me," she said, storming away. Once she left Leo brought you to your cabin, and laid down with you on your bed.

"I'm so sorry, princessa," he apologized, wrapping his arms around your waist to hold you close.

"It's not your fault," you said, closing your eyes.

After a moment of silence Leo asked you, "What'd she say to you? Like what did she say, I said about you?"

You were too confused as to why he would ask, but you answered him, "She said you said I was useless, and not pretty," you said, saddened when you remembered her words.

Leo let out a scoff, "I think that's the biggest lie I've ever heard," he said, placing a kiss on your forehead, "You're the most gorgeous person I've ever seen, and I don't think anyone is better at helping me than you, you're not useless," he reassured you, peppering kisses on your face and neck.

You felt content that he didn't agree with the things Jessica said, "She also told me how you apparently never actually liked me," you told him.

"Well I don't," he said, making you sit up in confusion, "I love you, mi amor." You laughed at him, falling back onto his chest.

"I love you too," you muttered into his chest. You were content with staying like this for the rest of your life. No matter what happens in the future you will always have Leo to make you feel better.

Current Taglist (ask to be added)

@almost-gabrielle @scarlett-8 @atashiboba @that1deerpersondownstairs @herondale-lightworm

[roseghoul26]

Hello! I would like to request Cooper Howard x gn!reader (post war, because...murderous cowboy...hnnngh), where they struggle with mental health issues like depression? I've been in a really tough spot, having no energy or motivation to do anything or really any desire to take care of myself. So I was thinking, maybe the reader's mental health is declining, they're slower and sloppier when it comes to keeping up with Cooper and he's more and more frustrated. Then one day he has enough (maybe the reader is taking too long packing up) and threatens to leave them and they're just...passive, because they really don't care anymore about what happens to them. So he realises they haven't been taking care of themselves properly for a while now and then some soft moments with him? I know this is pretty dark and you can change this however you'd like, but I'm dying for some hurt/comfort with this man 🥺 It's totally cool if it's too much for you, if you decide to not write this, please just let me know, so I don't wait for it. Thank you so much, I love your Cooper fics <3

Cooper Howard | The Ghoul x gn!Reader

Synopsis: You’ve been struggling lately, putting both you and your traveling companion in danger. He was bound to confront you about it eventually. Tags: Prompt Request, Not Beta Read, Gender Neutral Reader, Depression, Mental Health, Mentions of Suicide, Disagreements, Comfort, Lazy Day, Cuddling, Beginning Relationships Author's Note: Trigger warning for topics relating to mental health, such as depression and suicide. Please do not read if you’re not in a good mental space. Take care of yourselves. Also, everyone’s experience with depression and mental health issues differs, so I am writing this story the way I experience it. Also, this was a fun challenge to write. Like how the hell would he approach a topic like this? It’s been fun to explore his character like that, and I hope I did it justice. Thank you so much for the request! <333

You used to be able to keep up with the Ghoul. 

Wherever he went, you followed, tearing through the Wastleland without hindrance. You watched his back, and he yours, a security that was unheard of in this world. It was a trusting friendship, bordering on something else, something that neither of you had crossed yet. You couldn't compete with over a hundred years of experience with a gun, but you were able to hold your own quite well. You were a decent shot and someone who never let anyone get the drop on you, senses always sharp. 

So when you started missing easy targets and found yourself surprised by opponents one too many times, you knew it was a matter of time before the Ghoul started asking questions and not believing the first lie that you said. The first time it had happened, you blamed it on your lack of sleep, and he seemed to buy it. And maybe you convinced yourself it was just a lack of sleep, ignoring the darkness that had begun to emerge in your mind. You just needed to rest, was what you told yourself. 

It happened again a few days later, completely missing a target in front of you. Your reactions had begun to slow down, too, unable to avoid the swing of a blade, cutting across your cheek. It was like your body gave up on wanting to move, an unbearable weariness to your muscles that you were unable to shake. Later, as you bandaged the wound on your cheek, the Ghoul confronted you, demanding to know why you were acting so sloppy. You’d merely shrugged, offering up the idea that you were sick. This time he seemed less convinced, yet he had let the matter go. 

You knew why you were acting the way you were. You weren’t unfamiliar with depression, far from it. It was something you’d dealt with your entire life, coming and going like waves. You’d go days, weeks, months and you’d be fine, but then a flip would switch. You’d lose your energy, your motivation, wanting nothing more than to just lay on the ground and never get back up. You’d stop taking care of your body. You’d lose your appetite. Your thoughts would turn dark, ideations and ideas flashing in your mind, things that you’d never tell another soul. 

For the months you’d been traveling with the Ghoul, you’d been able to keep a reign on your depression. Sure, you had your off days, but nothing like this. It was like the universe was punishing you for having such an excellent past months. 

But how could you explain this to your traveling partner? How could you explain that you didn’t have the energy to continue existing, to continue fighting? He needed you to be alert, to not have your thoughts occupied with something, that in perspective to the Wasteland around you, was trivial. 

So you kept your mouth shut, forcing yourself to appear alert and unaffected. You forced those thoughts to the back of your mind. You forced your body to move, no matter how much it screamed at you to just be still.

But it seemed that all that bottling your thoughts up did was make it worse. As the days dragged on, you stopped talking, only muttering small words whenever the Ghoul asked you a question. You’d normally spend the time traveling conversing, and the Ghoul did try to initiate a conversation with you, but no amount of questions and joking and jabs could get you to break. Eventually, he fell quiet too.

Sleeping became a challenge. You’d think with how exhausted your body felt, you’d be able to sleep easily, but the opposite was true. Hours would tick by, and you’d lie awake, getting up the next morning more exhausted than before you went to bed. Your face, already a bit gaunt from living such a difficult life, had grown even more so, the circles around your eyes darkening and your lips growing more chapped. 

You stopped eating, turning away the food he offered you. After you went a few days without eating more than a bite, he practically forced spoonfuls of food into your mouth, snapping at you the entire time. It was humiliating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to change. You just wanted to be done. 

You could tell that your demeanor was starting to annoy the hell out of the Ghoul, whose words had turned shorter and snappier. If you took too long, he’d grab you by the shoulder and drag you along, like an upset parent with their child. Your cheeks would burn every time, tears pickling your eyes, and you’d hang your head. 

There was a tension growing between you and the Ghoul, your friendship growing thin. His guard was up constantly, unable to trust you any longer to watch his back, which hurt you more than any knife or gun. Soft glances disappeared, his gaze scrutinizing when he looked at you. Light touches from him reserved for when you were at rest were no more, as you chose to keep to yourself every night. Instead of walking side-by-side, you’d linger a few feet behind him. You pretended like it was easier this way, to make him push you away, but it was tearing you apart. 

But eventually, that tension snapped. Too many close calls, too many sluggish movements, too many half-hearted excuses finally made him break. You’d just gotten up for the day, another sleepless night behind you, and you were packing up your few belongings. You must’ve been taking too long, because you heard him sigh audibly, standing in the open doorway of the room you’d sheltered in for the night. “What’s your fuckin’ issue?” He growled, arms crossed tight over his chest.

You looked up, feigning confusion. “I dunno what-”

“Bullshit,” he cut you off. He began to walk towards you, his steps methodical, threatening. “You’ve been actin’ like this for weeks, and you’ve only offered me half-assed excuses.” He was seething, and understandably so. He crouched down in front of you, rendering you unable to escape. “So, you,” he stuck a finger in your chest, barely avoiding hitting you, “are gonna tell me why. And don’t even think ‘bout lyin’, sweetheart.”

You swallowed, heart hammering in your chest at the confrontation. Words flooded your mind, a full explanation on the tip of your tongue, yet you just couldn’t bring yourself to utter it. Your mouth opened and closed, struggling, until you eventually just gave up. Sighing, you just shook your head, which pissed him off even more. 

A disbelieving laugh left him, and he ran a gloved hand over his face. “No? You’re kiddin’ me, right?” He didn’t wait for a response. “Ya know, I’ve tried to be lenient. I bought into your fuckin’ lies that you were ‘just tired’, ‘just sick’. I tried to give ya space, to give ya time to get out of this. But you’re gonna get us both killed if ya don’t fix yourself. I can’t be distracted out there, constantly worried ‘bout you and keepin’ you alive, ‘cause it seems like that’s the last thing on your mind.”

He took a breath, steadying his rising voice. “So I’m gonna give ya one more chance to explain yourself, or else I’m leavin’ without ya.”

“Then leave.” Your response came almost immediately, your voice lacking any inflection. Even though in the back of your mind you were screaming at him not to leave, you kept an air of indifference about you, unable to make yourself care. It would be easier if he just left, wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t be putting anyone else in danger, and you wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt you felt of him worrying about you so much. And it would be so much easier to just disappear if there was no one looking for you.

He wasn’t expecting that as a response if the look on his face told you anything. His brow muscles were raised, leaning back from you in shock. But the way he was watching you, it was like he was observing you in a different light, dots beginning to connect in his mind. “You’ll die out there without me.” 

You merely shrugged your shoulders, glancing down to continue packing your belongings, no longer able to look him in the eye. He didn’t respond, simply standing up with a sigh. You didn’t look up, not even as you heard him walk away, backing towards the entrance of the room. You didn’t look up, even as you heard the surprisingly gentle click of the door as it shut. You didn’t look up, even as the tears that you’d been holding for the past weeks finally fell.

You were alone.

You thought it would make you feel better like there would be a weight lifted off your shoulders. But everything just felt heavier, the thoughts in your mind becoming a tempest, making you physically weak. Expletives tumbled from your lips as you sagged down onto your arms, head hung. Of course, he’d fucking leave, you idiot. No one wants to deal with your moping.

A part of you wanted to chase after him, to beg him to stay, but you already felt pathetic enough. You couldn’t blame him for leaving, not at all. You were weighing him down, putting his life in danger; he said so himself. He could only deal with you for so long. You should be grateful that he didn’t leave sooner.

The sound of rustling fabric made you jump, finally looking up. The Ghoul had taken off his jacket, laying it across the back of the couch he had slept on, never having left the room at all. Stunned, you watched him sit, taking his hat off in the process and setting it on the floor. He finally caught your eye then, a soft look on his face, a look you hadn’t seen in a long while. 

“I thought you left,” you whispered, sitting back upright. Embarrassment warmed your cheeks, and you tried to wipe the tears that had fallen on them. 

“I ain’t leavin’ ya, sweetheart.”

“Why not?”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Do you want me to go?” You’d never shaken your head faster in your life. “Then I’m stayin’.”

“But why?”

He sighed. “‘Cause I care ‘bout you. I… Is that too hard to believe?”

It is. Unable to find words, you just shrugged again. 

Something akin to regret or remorse flashed across his face, and muttering something under his breath he reclined against the couch. He was upset, but even now you could tell it was not because of you, at least not fully. “C’mere,” he murmured, patting the couch beside him. “You look like you’re gonna fuckin’ bolt at any second.”

Taking a steadying breath, you complied, albeit with some difficulty, your legs barely wanting to function. His gaze didn’t leave you once, as much as you wished it would, making you want to collapse in on yourself. The walk to the couch felt like it was miles long, but you eventually made your way over to it and him. 

He rolled his eyes when you just stood there in front of him, unsure of what to do with yourself. “Sit down, I ain’t gonna fuckin’ bite.” In another situation, you knew he’d add some comment like unless ya want me to, but he bit his tongue. The couch groaned as you sat next to the Ghoul, keeping a foot between your bodies. “Talk to me,” he commanded, yet his voice was gentle. “What the hell’s goin’ on?”

You picked at the skin around your nails, no doubt drawing blood. “I’m… I’m not quite sure how to explain it,” you responded, and you expected your words to upset the man even more. But he nodded his head slowly, an almost understanding look on his face. “I’m just… done."

“Done with… what? Bein’ out on the road?” You shook your head. “Travellin’ with me?” You shook your head again, this time more vehemently. “Done with what?” You knew that he knew the answer to his question, but he wanted you to say it.

“I’m done with… with existing. I just can’t bring myself to care anymore. I’m just so tired of it all.” You sagged back against the couch like speaking took a toll on your body. “I’m so tired.”

He didn’t respond for a while, mulling over your words. “That… that explains a lot,” he chuckled humourlessly. “Your mind won’t just leave ya the hell alone, will it? It's like all your mind can focus on are these terrible fuckin’ things, no matter what ya do. And it just weighs on ya, like a million pounds, getting worse with every passin’ day until you just wanna… give up.”

He explained it perfectly, and you cocked your head to the side, a bit confused about how he was able to do so. “I ain’t a stranger to what you’re goin’ through. We’re well fuckin’ acquainted, to say the least. So I shoulda recognized it sooner with ya.” 

He paused, sighing. “Wanna know somethin’?” You nodded. “I was too busy thinkin’ ‘bout what I did to upset ya that I didn’t bother to think of any other possible reason as to why you’re actin’ the way you are. But once I realized it wasn’t my fault, not entirely, instead of bein’ there for ya, I was an ass. I thought, because I’m a damn idiot, that you were just mopin’ around for the hell of it, putting us both in danger simply ‘cause you were tired or some shit. Not once did I stop to think why. And I apologize.”

“You don’t gotta-” He cut you off with a pointed look. “I… I accept your apology, then.”

He nodded slowly, content. “I’d like to help ya, sweetheart. I know nothin’ I say or do is gonna make it go away like that… but I’d like to try. Whatever ya need from me, and you’ve got it.”

“I’m not sure what I need exactly,” you admitted quietly.

“When ya figure it out, will ya let me know?” You nodded.

“Just… be patient. As difficult as that is for you.” You hadn’t meant for the jab to come out, but you weren’t taking it back. Especially when a loud laugh left the Ghoul, making a smile of your own appear on your face. It was faint, yet it was there.

An almost starstruck expression appeared on his face, his laughter dying out. “I missed seein’ ya smile,” he murmured as if it was a subconscious thought.

You ducked your head, making him laugh again. “As for bein’ patient, well, I can be that, if that’s what ya need.”

“It’ll take some time,” you cautioned again, indirectly giving him a chance to back out of this. 

“Time ain’t an issue. I’ll wait as long as it fuckin’ takes.”

“You mean it?” Your voice was so soft, barely audible to either of you. 

You watched as one of his gloved hands inched towards you, palm upturned. Tentatively, you placed your in his, eyes growing wide when he brought your hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. “I swear,” he uttered, sealing the promise with another press of his lips.

As you returned your tingling hand to your lap, his eyes scanned over your face, a furrow appearing between his brow. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten somethin’? Somethin’ that I didn’t force ya to eat,” he added when you opened your mouth to respond. 

Your silence said enough, and he leaned down to his bag, which he had placed beside the couch when he sat. After a few moments of rustling through, he handed you a small bag of what appeared to be jerky, as well as a small canteen of water. “It ain’ human,” he added when you eyed the bag suspiciously before taking it.

The jerky was salty and tough when you took a bite, not quite wanting to, but unable to not eat under his gaze. You ate in silence until your stomach was full and your teeth hurt from the tough material. Taking a swig of water, you could feel your eyes growing heavy, eating seemingly draining your energy more than replenishing it. Stifling a yawn, you shoved the canteen back into his hand, and you noticed he had an almost pleased look on his face. 

You were confused, though, when he stood, making his way to the entrance of the room. For a moment, those thoughts flashed in your mind that told you that he was finally leaving, that he realized how pathetic you were. But instead of doing any of those things, you watched as he simply wedged a chair under the handle of the door, like he had done before you went to bed for the night. 

“What’re you doing?”

“We takin’ the day off. Doctor’s orders.”

“But aren’t we supposed to be in Filly in a few days?”

“We’ll be fine. You are gonna spend today catchin’ up on some much-needed rest.” He stood in front of you now, a moth-eaten blanket in his hands. 

“And what are you gonna do?” You asked, and he shrugged. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, sweetheart. Go ‘head, lie down.”

Your eyes quickly scanned the couch, and you took a deep breath before speaking again. “The couch is big enough for us both, no?”

For the second time that day, you’d stunned him with your responses. “Is… is that what ya want?”

Encouraged that he hadn’t just outrightly said no, you nodded your head, and a fond look crossed his features. He handed you the blanket before sitting once more, but instead of his back being against the cushions, he rested it against one of the armrests, not before tucking a pillow in front of it. 

Once he was situated, he opened up his arms to you, and you could’ve laughed at how uncertain he looked. Hands rested on your body when you laid down, head on his chest, laying on your stomach, and you made sure the blanket covered both your bodies as best you could. You weren’t too worried about covering all of you, though, with the sheer amount of warmth he was radiating. 

His eyes were already on you when you glanced up, a smile pulling at his lips. “Comfy?”

“Yes.” Your voice was barely audible, but he heard it. 

You felt his fidget with something in his hand behind your back, but you didn’t have to wait long to find out what he was doing. You felt fingers run along your scalp, making you shudder, before combing through any hair there. “Alright?”

You sighed contently, nodding your head before letting it fall back onto his chest. He continued to run his fingers there, his other hand tracing patterns across your shoulders. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until now, finding it hard to keep your eyes open. For the first time in a long time, you felt safe. Safe from the world outside this room. Safe from the thoughts that plagued your mind. Safe from everything. 

He didn’t have to see your face to know that you were struggling to stay awake. “Go to bed. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Promise?”

“Ain’t fuckin’ like I’m gonna be able to get up,” he chuckled, before taking a more serious tone. “I promise.”

That was all you needed to hear before you finally let the final strings of consciousness leave your grasp. Before you lost control of all your senses, though, you felt him lean down, pressing a barely-there kiss to the top of your head. “You’ll get through this, sweetheart.”

You believed him.

[warping-realities]

Overlap

This story was made based on a request from @themousefromfantasyland it's not exactly the same as what he asked for but if it weren't for him this story wouldn't exist.

Andrew Meyer was an unhappy eighteen yers old young man and even he couldn't say why. His mother believed that the reason was related to the early death of his father and the boy's refusal to accept any possible new father figure in his life to the point where his mother Amanda avoided any romantic relationship over the last ten years. Something that had changed recently, thus creating a friction that had never existed before between mother and son.

Amanda was a history teacher at the local high school, and the year before she ended up falling in love with an old friend the P.E. teacher Josiah Washington. Coach Washington was beloved among the students, even among those who were not adept at sports, something he did not believe in, believing that given the opportunity everyone could demonstrate some unexpected talent.

Under Josiah's command episodes of bullying by athletes completely stopped. The man was adored by almost everyone, and after much insistence along nine full years Amanda's enchantment with him ended up becoming true love, which was promptly responded to. But that story that had everything to work out ended up hitting a snag.

Not only was Andrew among the few who disliked Coach Washington, he also viewed the relationship as a personal affront. He had a deep and deep-rooted conviction that Josiah was just another jock, willing to humiliate him as had happened so many times in middle school, when he didn't have his mother to protect him. This thought was due to Josiah's insistence on making Andrew participate in the most different sports, something that the skinny nerd abhorred and believed was being done with the intention of ridiculing him. Because of this and his block in accepting anyone in his father's place, he decided to do everything he could to end that relationship.

Andrew was an intelligent boy, in fact he was in the Top 3 of his senior year class, being the president of the school's debate team, where he used his fierce tongue to eliminate all his enemies. He constantly competed for first place in his class with Cassie Jones, the president of the photography club, and Rajesh Patel, the president of the chess club. Andrew could be friends with both of them, but his own bitter nature prevented him from making any friends, with many of his colleagues fearing that they would be the next targets of the boy's venomous comments. These comments made many of the school's jocks clench their knuckles as he passed through the corridors. But Andrew, who already had the protection granted by his mother's presence in those same corridors, had received an unexpected reward from the relationship he so abhorred. Out of respect for the coach, all the athletes at the school treated him politely even though they were the boy's biggest target. The satisfaction of mocking the intelligence of one of those troglodytes and knowing that he wouldn't get revenge brought him immense satisfaction. What didn't give him the slightest satisfaction was the news he received from his mother at breakfast on a sunny autumn Tuesday.

"What do you mean by engagement?" The blond, skinny boy with glasses exclaimed indignantly upon hearing the news.

"I thought I wouldn't need to explain this to a grown man, as you make a point of defining yourself, Andrew."

"Don't act like a fool woman, you know what I'm talking about. Is that... man going to live with us?"

"First, have manners when talking to me, second that man is your teacher and for that alone you owe him respect and third but not least, yes the fact that he and I are engaged means that we will live together. But as I know the son I have we chose to wait for you to go to college next year. And that's the only concession you'll get." Amanda said with a firm voice, thus further souring her son's already normally taciturn mood. And it was with that bitter mood that he started his day, while just a few blocks away someone else's day was starting and very soon their path will cross and change his entire reality.

…..

Cassie Jones was a happy and vivacious girl, with a shrewd intelligence and a spirit focused on the arts. Despite being a real nerd she was very popular at school, always being in demand to take photos at the most different school events as well as to her colleagues' Instagram posts. Photography was in fact her great passion, so much so that she had a large collection of analogue cameras from the most different eras, and that was a very special day, as she would use for the first time the Laica Mini camera produced in the 80s and 90s that she had bought it from another photography enthusiast, a lovely lady called Cintia who owned an inn on the coast and said she had taken some of the best photos of her life with that (now) antique.

Although Andrew saw her as a rival, it was not reciprocated. Cassie was a pure soul, one of those who always looked for the good in people and situations, even those where it didn't seem to exist. And she was precisely that type of person who was given to customs such as painting, photography and... choosing to go to school walking through the city park looking for images that conveyed their inner world to the outside. That's why the thin blonde girl, with prescription glasses that, instead of making her face ugly, only increased the aura of innocence, stopped that autumn morning and observed nature and life around her, with the camera ready, waiting for the right moment to transpose the elements of both herself and the world around her into an image.

She didn't have to wait long because her attention was soon caught on an image that would easily convey that communion with the world and nature. A young man was running with a pair of dogs across the lawn, a Doberman and a beagle puppy. And Cassie took advantage of a moment when the owner was far away and the two dogs seemed to exchange thoughts to click.

Little did she know that that click would set in motion the chain of events that would end up profoundly modifying the reality of that would-be rival, for whom she had only a feeling of compassion, but which would soon become much more.

…..

Cassie, Andrew and Josiah's paths crossed that day during physical education class, where the beloved teacher greeted the students with a bright smile. Coach Washington was a huge black man, the type that can be intimidating at first glance. Although in his case it was enough to get past that first glance to realize that despite his impressive size, the most impressive thing was the man's kindness and dedication. For him there was no bad time or student who wasn't worth the effort.

But even he would have to admit that his future stepson was a tough cookie. While even Raj Patel had found a way to exercise, exchanging basketball passes with Samuel Miller, Andrew was sitting sullenly on the edge of the court giving withering looks of hatred to everyone present. With a resigned sigh Josiah approached the boy, but even before he could say something he was interrupted.

"Don't even try, there's nothing you can say that will force me to participate in this... class, especially today!"

And so Josiah discovered firsthand how the boy had received the news of his mother engagement with him.

"Andrew, I am still your teacher and this is still a mandatory subject, you must participate in it if you hope not to fail."

"Try to reproach me and I will accuse you."

"For what? Do my job?"

"I wil say to everyone you stare at me when you come to my house." Replied the poisonous boy.

"Andrew, that's absurd... it's untrue! I never did that and you know it!"

"But the others don't know, so why don't you leave me alone for the next few months and when I go to college we can get rid of each other?"

"Andrew, think about what you said, it's because of this type of behavior that people turn away from you."

"Great, that's exactly what I want."

"Andrew this isn't healthy, your mother worries about you, I worry about..."

"I don't want your concern, I didn't ask for your concern."

"I'm your teacher, it's natural for this type of worry arise."

"So why don't you do yourself a favor and use that worry on someone who cares? There's Cassie Jones doing nothing useful messing with one of her stupid cameras." Andrew replied, getting up and going in another direction.

Cassie was actually playing with her new camera. But it was untrue to say that she had not been participating in the class, on the contrary she had actively participated in the activities until that moment, but when she saw Raj and Sam, people from completely different worlds sitting together and sharing a lively conversation in the middle of a break that artistic feeling that guided her took over and she couldn't help but take a photo of the two boys.

"Cassandra Jones, put away that camera immediately if you have the desire to keep it." Scolded Mr. Washington in a much harsher manner than his usual behavior.

"Sorry Mr. Washington." Said the girl with tearful eyes.

"Cassie, I admire your talent, but there is a place and time for everything. So, please put the camera away and don't let me see you doing that again." Josiah continued in a much more pleasant way.

"Yes, Coach." She replied, quickly putting away the camera and returning to class.

Later that day she was in the photography club's dark room looking at the photos she had taken, there were Raj and Sam, some landscapes of the park and... a photo of the park in which two doberman dogs appeared playing. 

Weird, she could have sworn there was only one doberman that morning. Even stranger was the fact that the photo of the doberman and the beagle didn't seem to be anywhere. She found herself wondering if it was possible she had gotten so confused. Leaving the photos separated on a table, she left the room to go home without noticing that a change began in another one.

….

"Are you sure you don't want to come in."

"Sorry Mandy, but I'd rather not go in."

"Would you rather? Really?"

"No, of course not, I would love to go up to your room right now but..."

"Andrew? What has my son done now?"

The sunny afternoon had given way to a windy night that brought with it the omens of the winter to come. Josiah and Amanda had taken advantage of the cool wind for a dinner for two at Chateau de Fondue followed by a walk to the house she shared with her son and would soon share with him. Josiah had avoided bringing Andrew's name to the stall, but at that moment it became inevitable.

"Mandy, it doesn't matter, it's just that he can't stand me and I don't want to fuel his dislike any further."

"Josiah Washington, what has my son done? Answers me now." Amanda said, making him suddenly remember the affronting blond boy whose mother she was.

"He threatened to make things up about me, but I seriously doubt he would be able to..."

"You don't know him like I do. Something broke in that boy Josiah and no one knows how to fix it, not him, not me and no professional I've turned to since he was eight years old and saw his father die."

"It couldn't have been easy, being stuck in the wreckage of a car with his father dead next to him..."

"It wasn't easy, for months he woke up screaming desperately during the night, I had to let him sleep in my bed for a long time, I lost count of the times I woke up with my bedclothes soaked in his urine. But none of that give him the right to threaten you."

"I've been trying to protect him, you know, and the other students resent it, the conversations go on... now you and I are engaged, until someone accuses me of favoring him..."

"Favor him? In what way?"

"He would have failed physical education last year if I hadn't intervened and this year it's worse."

"Josiah Washington, you don't protect my son by doing this, on the contrary, it feeds the dark being inside him. Tomorrow you won't treat him any different than any other student, promise me and keep your promise, because I'll find a way to find out if you don't keep it."

"Okay, I promise, no more favors. But I want something in return..." He replied with a playful smile.

" And what would it be?" She replied, also smiling as he approached and kissed her passionately.

…..

Cassie walked through the park again the next morning, with her camera ready in case inspiration struck. And that's when she saw the young man from the day before playing with two doberman dogs, with no beagle in sight. 

Had she really been so wrong? Maybe he just hadn't brought the beagle that day. Building up courage she called out to the man.

"Sir, sir... are these your dogs?"

"Yes, any problem?"

"No, no, I'm sorry but yesterday I took a photo of them without your permission and I would like to ask you if you don't mind."

"As long as I'm not in the photo..."

"No, no, just your dogs."

"Then fine."

"Didn't you bring the beagle today?"

"Beagle? What beagle? I'd like to have one, I think they're really cute, but I only have these two demons here!" He replied in a happy voice while playing with the dogs and leaving Cassie even more confused.

….

Unlike Cassie's morning, Andrew's had not started in a confusing way, as his mother had been very clear with him about his attitudes and the threat of slander from him. The atmosphere in the house, which was no longer good, had turned sour once and for all. Trying to control the waves of fury that overwhelmed him he trotted down the school hallway without even noticing the people he bumped into until he came face to face with a real concrete wall: Mark Sheppard, one of the school's athletes, member of several sports teams and in Andrew's opinion a major idiot.

"Could you get out of the way instead of standing there like an idiot?" Asked Andrew to the boy three times his size, making the other turn in the direction. Mark could be described as a version of Andrew himself on steroids, he was blonde, tall, muscular and...

"What are those glasses for Sheppard? You know that intelligence doesn't come with them, right?" The thiner boy mocked with his usual bitterness when he saw his colleague's new acquisition. Who in turn just looked at the inches below that separated the two.

"I wouldn't worry so much about my intelligence if I were you, Andy, but rather about what I can do with you on the court."

"Only in your dreams that I'm going to enter a court with you, you ogre."

"Ah, but you will. I heard your mother asking Coach Washington to get you to play and she even asked me to let her know if he doesn't do it." The bigger boy replied with a wide smile as he passed by his classmate. "See you later Andy. Get ready to get everything you deserve."

…..

Physical education was the last period before lunch. What a torturous morning waiting for an even greater torture thought Andrew. Maybe the morning wouldn't have been so bad despite the terrible future outlook if he hadn't been forced to partner with the unbearably cheerful and good Samaritan Cassie Jones. How that child's doll could be competing with him for first place in the class eluded him. The worst of all is that she seemed immune to his mean remarks, always treating him kindly and looking at him with a strange look that he didn't know how to decipher.

"No, no, no, you're completely wrong and they still think you're intelligent, what a joke, just because you walk up and down with that camera pretending to be an artist..." He shouted at her just before that class morning ended and for the first time it brought tears to his colleague's eyes, which gave him a dark satisfaction.

After the end of the class they both went to the school gym without exchanging a single word as apparently even Cassie's enormous compassion had reached a point of exhaustion. At the moment Andrew aggressively entered the men's locker room two Indian boys tall, strong and extremely similar, already completely uniformed came out.

"Arrogant asshole..." One of the two grumbled while the other turned to a surprised Cassie who didn't remember either of them.

"I hope you're the valedictorian and not him Cassie, my grades are good but they're not even close to yours."

"Rajesh...?" She asked in disbelief.

"Raj, only our mother calls me by my full name, right Sam?"

"At least you don't have to tell everyone that Sam isn't for Samuel's but Samarth's, brother."

"Sam...?"

"Hi Cassie, if you don't mind we're in a bit of a rush for practice, we'll talk later. But I agree with everything my brother told you." Replied the boy she swore she had never seen in her life as she accompanied a Raj very different from the one she remembered. What was going on there? At that moment, a tall black young man left the locker room and she took the opportunity to try to clarify that.

"Jayden who's that new boy with Raj?"

"Who? I just see Sam there with him."

"This one..."

"Are you kidding me Cassie, that's Sam Patel, Raj's twin brother, you've been colleagues for almost four years."

"No, there's only one Sam in our class, Samuel Miller, a blond boy..."

"What are you talking about? There's only Sam Patel in our class, no Samuel. Are you feeling well Cassie? Do you want me to walk you to the infirmary?"

"No, it's okay...but I...I think I'll do it anyway, thanks Jayden." She replied, leaving the somewhat frightened boy behind. What was going on there? First the beagle that disappeared and now that... the beagle... the dobermans... Sam Miller... Sam and Raj Patel... no... it wasn't possible... or was it? She thought, running frantically to the photography room, spreading the photos on the table and not finding the photo she had taken yesterday of the Sam and Raj that she remembered, but instead a photo of the smiling and athletic Patel twins.

That P.E. class was proving to be the greatest horror of Andrew's school life, all the idiotic troglodytes who had previously been prevented from touching him were taking the opportunity to bump, trip and poke him in every possible way, not to mention the humiliation of rehearsed passes done solely with the intention of making him look like an idiot. And that asshole Washington letting that happen, Andrew was sure that no matter how much the man scolded the other students for those attitudes inside he must have been rejoicing in it all, after all it was all planned by him, and innocent Andrew had let himself fall for the trap. But it wouldn't stay like that, no, no... he would... Andrew didn't have time to finish the thought as Mark Sheppard bumped into him and threw him in the middle of the court fuming with anger, humiliation and pain.

"Here, Andrew let me help you up." Said Jayden Williams extending his hand.

"Take your dirty hands off me. I don't need help from people like you." Andrew replied, making his classmate appalled and angry at the same time.

"You little shit, how dare you!" Said Mark Shepherd.

"What's going on here, kids?" Coach Washington asked, approaching quickly.

"That piece of shit said a lot of racist shit to Jayden." Replied an irritated Raj Patel who was close to the two.

"No, it's not true... I didn't... that's not what..."

"Yes it was, you fucking liar, we heard everything." Retorted Sam Patel.

"Andrew, locker room now."

"But, but..."

"No discussion, locker room. And you guys back to the game, I'll sort it out."

....

"Cintia Cozy Cabin, Cintia speaking, how can I help you? Oh, Cassie, what an unexpected surprise, I hope the camera arrived safely at your house.

Yes, yes... oh my God I must have made a mistake and sent you one of my special projects... I told you that I made magical photos in my time, I wasn’t lying. No, dear, unfortunately it's irreversible, I'm sorry, but the colleagues you knew no longer exist, this is the version of them that exists now, which in fact has always existed.

What the camera does is project the essence of one being onto another, sometimes creating an overlap like what happened with the dogs and sometimes an interposition like what happened with your colleagues. This occurred randomly because you I had no intention when taking the photos, the camera works either way, but when there is intention on the part of the operator the results are usually less unpredictable, although when talking about magic there is always an unpredictability factor to take into account. And that is precisely why I need you to send the camera back to me, it's a very dangerous thing to have, it's a project I've used very few times and you can imagine why.

Thank you dear. I will send you the correct camera today and I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, but I must say that you are responding very well."

...

Cassie wasn't responding well. That was madness, a daydream of a lady isolated on a beach all year round. It couldn't be real, yet the Patel twins were there to prove it. Just thinking about the way things must have had to adjust to accommodate those changes almost took her out of reality while she wandered aimlessly, with the camera hanging in tow as she returned to the school gym, now almost empty, if it weren't for the pair arguing in the hallway in front. And the matter seemed very serious. Taking care not to be seen, she watched the discussion unfold.

"I didn't speak with that intention!"

"After what you told me yesterday how do you expect me to believe you?"

"I don't care if you believe me or not."

"Well, you should care, because it's up to me whether you get a suspension or something worse."

"Look, when I talked about people like Jayden, I wasn't talking about his color... I was talking about his way of being... of being someone, just like you..."

"You do realize that saying that to a black man doesn't help your case at all, don't you?"

"You understood what I meant... I'm talking about you athletes, the owners of the party... the jocks, who walk around the school as if they owned it, who think they're better than the others, a gift of God for humanity."

"Funny, I've heard that description applied to you a few times, ironic don't you think?"

"No, I don't think so. You don't know me!"

"No, I don't, but does anyone? You're a closed book with the pages glued. Not even your mother knows you, Andrew, but I'm willing to get to know you if you give me a chance."

"I'll pass, zero interest."

"I want you to understand that I don't want to replace your father, his place will always be his with you and your mother."

"Don't talk about my father."

"Andrew, I'm trying. Look kid, I've also had losses … I… I can't have biological children."

"It's your problem, I am not and will never be your son. Now leave me alone!" The boy replied, ready to leave.

And at that moment, the kind and carefull Cassie made an impulsive decision. When she saw the suffering in her favorite teacher's eyes, she raised the camera and took a photo of the two of them thinking about how things would be better if Andrew was actually Josiah's son. Almost instantly she regretted what she had done, running back towards the photography room. Leaving behind two people whose lives would be irreparably changed.

In a hurry she prepared the solution and entered the dark room. Her heart pounding as she thought about what she had done and the countless possibilities of disaster. Cintia had said that the intention was the main thing and her intention had been clear, but there was so much that could go wrong. What if Mr. Washington ended up like an older version of Andrew, unhappy and bitter? She would never forgive herself for doing that to a good man. Or even worse, Andrew's biological father was dead and if by wishing Josiah was his father she ended up making her teacher dead?

Uncharacteristically bad thoughts overwhelmed her as she worked on the photo. With her heart still racing and her hands shaking, she took the final product and stared at it for long minutes. The photograph taken in a hurry and from a bad angle was far from her usual work, but it still showed what she remembered. Mr. Washington in all his poise having a serious conversation with his future stepson, a defiant Andrew Meyer. She was already letting out a sigh of relief when she noticed something.

"Where were Andrew's glasses?"

Meanwhile, in the school cafeteria, the boy's transformation began to unfold.

…..

Andrew was about to leave Josiah talking to himself when he was hit by a flash of light followed by a wave of dizziness that almost knocked him over.

"Andrew, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Are you done? I need lunch."

"Okay, but think about what I told you."

"Yeah, sure. Count on it." The boy concluded by withdrawing and rubbing his eyes with the strange sensation that there was something missing there. At the same time, his stomach growled with an unusual intensity, making him not even change his physical uniform before running to the cafeteria for lunch.

Andrew headed to his usual isolated spot and with his thoughts stuck on what had happened in class he began to eat without even seeing what he was putting in his mouth. That time he had gone too far and he knew it, but he also knew that he hadn't lied, his problem with Jayden and Josiah had nothing to do with the color of their skin and everything to do with the way they both were. He hated the jocks, they made his life a real hell before he moved to his current school. But it wasn't any of the jocks at that school who had done those horrible things to him, a little unknown voice said in the back of his mind. Yes, but only because they didn't have the opportunity, today's class proved that. But they didn't get the opportunity because Josiah asked them to stop their behavior, a point in Josiah's favor. He probably prohibited their barbaric behavior thinking about his image, certainly if it weren't for that Mark would have already ended Andrew's life. But at least Josiah did something about it differently than middle school teachers. Plus Jayden could have been offering real help and trying to be a good person and now he would be thinking Andrew was a racist. Not that he normally cared what his colleagues thought of him. But that was different, Andrew knew he was difficult, he knew people didn't like him, that he was bitter and... unhappy. He knew that very well. But he also knew that there were certain things he was not and being racist was one of those things. And knowing this he made an unprecedented decision in his life, he decided to apologize.

Standing up and gaining the courage to go ahead with that decision, he didn't even notice that he was wearing something completely different from the training clothes he wore when he sat down and also from the one he usually wore.

Walking somewhat clumsily as if he didn't really know how to do it, he approached the jocks' table and positioned himself in front of Jayden, releasing everything at once.

"Hey Jayden...um...I'd like to apologize for today...I know what I said sounded like...and I want you to know that it's nothing like that...and well... . I'm really... sorry... I'm really... sorry... and I hope you can... you can forgive me." He concluded, still not completely believing in what he was doing. The boys at the table also didn't seem to believe what they were hearing, it was something unprecedented in their school life for Andrew to admit he was wrong and apologize. So much so that everyone stared at him open-mouthed. The first to recover was Mark, who quickly stood up and positioned himself in front of Andrew with his fist raised. Interestingly, the two were now the same height, something they both didn't seem to notice.

"I don't know what kind of game you're playing Andy, but if you say that kind of shit again to Jay, I'm going to wipe out your ass and you won't have a mother or a coach to protect you, because I won't mind being suspended if it guarantees teaching you a lesson!"

Hearing that kind of threat made Andrew quickly return to his usual behavior.

"Now you've left me very worried Sheppard, I would be even more worried if you had the slightest bit of intelligence to be able to fulfill what you promise. And even in the remote possibility that you achieve something, I will find a way to put an end to your athletic aspirations, a proven assault charge against a classmate is not going to look good on your academic records."

"Listen here, you little shit..." Mark replied angrily, ready to attack Andrew.

"Guys! What's going on here?" Josiah Washington asked entering the cafeteria in that moment.

When Andrew looked at him, he felt a flash hit his retina and was then struck by a sensation of vertigo. Taking enough time to recover as Mark accused him.

"Andrew came here to talk shit again, coach."

"Hey, that's not true, I came to apologize to Jay about this morning and Sheppard started with his usual fragile masculinity show." He accused Andrew as he tried to remember when he was close enough to Jayden to call him by his nickname.

"Who's fragile, scarecrow?"

"Mark, that's enough! Jayden, what happened?"

"Andy told the truth, coach. He came here to apologize and by the way, I forgive you Andy, it was just a misunderstanding." Jayden replied, always fair, but still being fair he continued.

"But as always he and Mark couldn't bear to be together for even a minute and ended up exchanging threats." The boy finished, making the two colleagues forget for a second their mutual hatred and look at him with the looks they used to give each other.

"Guys, you are colleagues, and besides, teammates..."

"Ha, we can play together but we're not on the same team, or at the same level, don't compare chicken legs with me, coach."

"Mark, Andy runs a lot more than you." Jayden commented, making his friend look irritated at him.

"Why all the defense with him now? When has he ever been nice to anyone? You know we only put up with him because he's Coach Washington's stepson!"

"Mark, that's enough!" scolded an irritated Mr. Washington. While a very offended Andrew stared at his stepfather with angry eyes before turning and leaving the room.

"Thanks, guys! You helped a lot, really." He said to the embarrassed students.

"Sorry coach, I exaggerated..."

"Yes, and because of that it’s bench time to you this afternoon. I think it's time we give Andrew the chance to be the starter."

"But coach..." Mike started to complain, falling silent at a stern look from Josiah.

"That is, if I can convince him to show up." Josiah concluded thoughtfully.

….

Andrew walked aimlessly through the school corridors, until he found an empty bathroom where he sat on the toilet and cried, something he hadn't done in a long time. He knew he was a difficult person, but he was trying. His relationship with his stepfather was never easy, but they had reached a mutual tolerance agreement in recent months, shortly after Andrew's mother's marriage to Josiah. In fact, the relationship, which was not exactly cordial, had evolved to the point where Andrew allowed himself to be convinced by his stepfather to participate in the school teams that last year. Not that he did much more than warm the bench. But just participating in something with his colleagues would help a lot with his behavior. He discovered that he could talk to the Patel brothers about common interests and Jayden seemed to be sincere in the way he treated him, Mark of course continued to be the same irritating idiot he always was and now it was clear why, he was the only one who didn't fake cordiality.

That was what he got for trying. Annoyed, he dried his tears and washed his face in the bathroom sink and then stared at his own reflection. Wavy brown hair and gray eyes, still red from crying.

It was then that he made a decision, he would go to Josiah's office and say that he was going to leave all the teams and let his stepfather deal with it.

.....

Cassie was panicking, the photo she took had undergone another change, she tried to contact Cintia again, but when she called the inn she was informed that the owner had left and would only return in mid-afternoon. Not knowing what else to do, she stared at the photo waiting for the next change, thinking about what other changes were happening without her even having any idea.

....

"Come in, the door is open. Hey, Andy, I was just going to look for you, please sit down." Josiah said to his stepson who entered the room with his head down, without looking at his stepfather, as he gathered the courage to say what he had come to say.

"Look, I know how it felt when Mark told you that. But I hope you understand that I only asked them to go easy on you because I know how much you suffered from kids like them at your old school. And Mark... Well Mark can be a bit of an ass sometimes, but that's between us." Josiah concludes with a knowing smile that was not reciprocated because Andrew didn't even look up at him.

"I want to quit training." He said without looking at Josiah.

"Why? You're doing well, I thought you liked it. Raj and Sam seem to get along with you and Jayden would be a great friend if you give him a chance."

"They only talk to me because of you and I don't want to depend on you for anything."

"That's not true Andy, I don't have that power over them, I can only ask them to treat you with respect, the rest is up to you and it seems like you've been doing well, despite some slip-ups like this morning."

"I already apologized, it was just a misunderstanding." Andrew replied, looking for the first time at his stepfather, only to be hit by a flash of light followed by a sensation of vertigo.

"Of course it was a misunderstanding Drew, no one with the slightest intelligence would ever think that a racist speech would come out of your mouth."

"You said it well, coach. No one with the slightest bit of intelligence, but Mark Shepperd doesn't reach the bare minimum." Drew replied.

"Andrew, your feud with Mark has to end, it's disturbing the whole team." Josiah replied in turn causing Drew's face to droop.

"Don't look at me like that, you remind me of your mother when she's mad at me."

"Funny, most people say I remind them of my dad." Replied the dark-skinned athletic young man, with curly hair and dark eyes, already fully dressed for basketball practice that afternoon.

"Well, I didn't know your father other than through photos, but I'd say you're a good mix of the two. But that strong genius certainly comes from your mother." Married to Amanda for seven years and with a cordial relationship with his stepson, Josiah felt secure to make that type of comment.

"Now, one thing I can say about Mark, his behavior today guaranteed you a good opportunity. You start training today as a starter and if you do a good job no one will be able to accuse me of giving preference to my stepson. I suggest that you take the chance."

"Thank you, coach."

"Thank me by doing a good job on the court, son." Josiah replied without thinking making Drew retreat into the armchair. Because despite the stable and respectful relationship between them the stepson made a point of making it clear that this was a limit that he would not let his stepfather cross.

"Sorry Drew, I said it automatically, go warm up with your teammates and I'll be there soon." Josiah said quickly to avoid a conflict knowing that although he saw Andrew as a son the feeling was not reciprocated.

……

Cassie's desperation upon seeing the new change in the photo reached alarming levels to the point that she was forced to leave the refuge of the photography room just to feel like she was doing something. The photo now showed an unchanged Mr. Washington talking to a clearly mixed-race Andrew with a much more athletic physique. She couldn't even imagine how reality was realigning itself to justify that or what it would be like to have to interact with this new Andrew.

It didn't take her long to find out because unconsciously her legs took her to Coach Washington's office where she came face to face with the new Andrew leaving the place, with a slightly disturbed face, but which soon lit up with a smile that she never imagined possible.

"Hey, Cass! I thought we were going to have lunch together today? I was worried when you didn't show up, I sent you a bunch of messages. Look, if it was because of that argument I'm sorry, but it's just that it's hard for me to be your partner, you are a genius."

"Andrew... I..."

"Since when do you call me by my full name? You must be really annoyed with me."

"Uh..."

"Cassie, are you okay? Do you mind if we talk to the gym? Coach made me the starter today and I don't want to be late."

"Hum, of course..." She said, still disturbed by that new much more open and talkative version of Andrew.

"Cass, we've been friends for years, you know what an idiot I can be sometimes. But you have complete freedom to tell me exactly this: Drew, you're being a complete idiot."

"OK."

"Are you sure everything is okay? I can take you to the infirmary even if I end up being late for training." Hearing that was what got her for good. The Andrew she knew would never put anyone else before his interests. So maybe, just maybe she would have done something good with that reckless decision of hers."

"Cassandra Jones, it's decided we're going to the infirmary!" He said with her lack of response, making her quickly intervene.

"No. I'm fine, really...Drew."

"I'm not so sure, but if you say so... the truth is that I really didn't want to miss this opportunity... but if you need me, I'll come with you."

"No Drew, go play. In fact, I'll even watch!"

"Serious?"

"Serious!"

"Then I'll make a point just for you!" He replied with a big smile that had certainly never been seen on the old Andrew's face. As the two arrived at the gym and he said goodbye to her, he headed towards the court where he quickly got busy greeting his teammates with high fives and even some hugs. Leaving a still stunned Cassie to look for a seat in the stands. And she was still amazed as he played with a previously unknown skill and when he finally scored his first point it was in her direction that he looked with that beautiful smile on his face.

At the end of the training Cassie returned to the photography room while trying again to talk to Cintia, although now she thought she could have actually done a good thin even though she still didn't know for sure how to deal with that new Andrew. He and his teammates headed to the locker room where the atmosphere of camaraderie and fun prevailed. Even for someone naturally more withdrawn like him there was room for jokes and laughter, especially with the twins Patel and Jayden, with whom he had created a good friendship, even if to do so he had to endure the unbearable...

"Hey Andy, good game, but very inferior to the king's game."

"What king is that? Because it's definitely not you!" Andrew said as he took off his sweat-soaked training shirt and sat down on a bench.

"Your envy doesn't hit me, asshole." Mark replied, flexing his muscles.

"Envy? Of what? Of looking like an anemic vampire with glasses?"

"This will be the third time that I will need to intervene in an argument involving you two today, will I have to suspend you both?" Coach Washington asked, entering the locker room and causing the two young men to quickly look in his direction. And with that Drew was hit by a flash of light and a feeling of vertigo. While he recovered, Mark responded to the coach.

"Nah, coach. We're good, aren't we, Dre?" He said.

"Sure, we are good, coach. Even more so because blondie here just admitted my superiority on the court."

"You piece of shit, I'm going to..." Mark began to threaten, being interrupted by a stern look from the coach while Andre burst into laughter, making his huge muscles shake while sweat dripped down the ebony skin of his developed pecs and ripped six pack.

"Enough of that, you two, and all of you, I want this locker room to shine like a jewel. If I come back here and find this disgusting mess I'm going to have you clean the floor and walls with a toothbrush. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Coach." They all responded in unison.

"Good." He said before speaking to his stepson in a lower voice. "Dre, when you're done here come by my office, please"

"Yes, Coach." The boy replied, still wiping away tears from his bout of laughter.

....

In the photography room, Cassie had her cell phone in hand, trying to contact Cintia again while she looked at the latest version of the photograph showing a young muscular black man who looked very similar to Mr. Washington in the place where Andrew had been. Surely now it would all be over and she would have to live with that new reality. And deep down she would have to admit that it wasn't that bad, Drew seemed like a really nice guy and who knows, a real friendship could blossom between them...

"Cintia Cozy Cabin, Cintia talking..."

....

Andre took a long shower thinking about what the coach would have to say to him, probably a reprimand for his arguments with Mark, but he should have known better. That was just jokes between the two long-time frenemies. Neither of them had ever come to blows. Or maybe it was about the position of captain of the basketball team, the season was about to start and they didn't officially have anyone yet. Jayden who got along with everyone and was great at motivating others would be the most obvious option, but he had difficulty giving constructive criticism whereas Andre, well, Andre could even be overly critical. Perhaps the conversation was precisely to tell him that. And with that thought, his normally quite cheerful and expansive mood turned sour. After getting dressed he headed to the coach's office.

"Mr. Washington is Dre." He said after knocking on the door a few times. At home he called his stepfather Uncle Josiah. He was married with Andre's mother since the boy was 4 years old, but even before that they know each other as Josiah had been a long-time friend of Andre's father and had been at his mother side throughout her grieving process, when she was left alone with a one-year-old baby to care for. Andre had been in the same car accident as his father but had no memory of what happened, something he was grateful for.

"Come in Dre, I'm in the bathroom finishing changing, you can sit down and I'll be right there."

"Thank you, coach. Can I ask you the reason for this talk?" Asked the young man with anxiety permeating his voice and face.

"It's about the team captain position, Dre. I know you don't like hearing this but you're the son I never had. And for a lot of people, even at this school, it's like you actually are, which raises discussions about me favoring you, which is complete nonsense, because you wouldn't be in the position you are in if you didn't have talent, and anyone who says otherwise should come and do it to my face." Josiah said, leaving the bathroom and passing behind Andre as he walked towards his desk.

"Still, our relationship is something that must be taken into consideration in my choice and after much consideration I want to tell you that I chose Jayden..." Josiah began to say as he finally sat down and looked into his stepson dark and at that moment sad eyes at the exact moment those eyes were struck by a last flash of light, before he concluded. "...and you to be co-captains of the team. Your firm attitude and accurate criticism earned you the position, and I trust that you will be able to keep your strong temper under control, even in the presence of Mark Sheppard. Congratulations, son."

"Thanks, dad. You won't regret it." Andre replied with a big smile, knowing that in that moment father and son could treat each other like that. And there was no way not to realize that the two were father and son, as they shared the same build, the same facial expressions, the same smile and even the same haircut after Dre decided to shave his hair. Poor Amanda, who had to hear constant jokes about having given birth to a copy of her husband.

"You deserved this position, son. Every day that passes you make me prouder to be your father."

"Thank you dad, I'm also very proud to be your son, there is no better father than you."

"You only say that because you just won what you wanted, let's see if you'll say the same when I pull your ear for arguing with Mark in the middle of a game." Joked Josiah with smart smile.

"Let me deal with Mark, you know very well that I love the guy and he loves me, we are long time friends, but some friction is inevitable when you have two people like us on the same team. Although I promise to control myself. "

"Good. Now how about a game with your old man in the city park? I know you must be tired, but I'm dying to put my captain to the test."

"Sure, I just need a few minutes to tell someone the news."

"Okay, I'll wait for you in the parking lot."

"I meet you there." Andre said, getting up before turning back to his father to say something that was stuck inside him. "And dad, I know I don't say this very often, but I love you." He said before leaving the room and Josiah Washington with the biggest smile in the world just before tears started rolling down his face.

"... what's done is done Cassie. You should have listened to me and that's why I ask you to give me back the camera as soon as possible. But the damage could be worse. Apparently you did that boy a lot of good , yet your choice can bring unexpected consequences. Are you sure the photo has stabilized? Oh, is it changing again? Totally different from the previous one? Great, it means there will be no more changes. I'll turn it off my dear, send me the camera today if possible. Good afternoon."

Cassie heard Cintia hang up the phone as she stared at the photograph, certain that this was by far the strangest thing to happen in her life. And she wasn't completely wrong, since the strangest thing in her life was about to happen but still linked to that photography. As she was getting ready to go to the post office to send the camera to Cintia someone knocked on the door.

"Hey Cassie, it's Andre, can I come in?" Andrew? Cassie thought, could even the name...?"

"You can come in," she replied with a trembling voice, seeing the muscular almost 6'7" tall young man enter the room making her legs feel so wobbly she had to sit on a bench in front of one of the cabinets full of photo albums.

"I won it Cass! I'm the new captain of the basketball team." He said, approaching her. "Okay, I'll share the position with Jay, but that's fine, he deserves it too. What's that in your hand?" He asked, looking at the photograph in her hand as he sat next to her, who found herself at that moment invaded by his perfume and a feeling of intense heat.

"It's... a photo... of you and your father... I was going to give it to you as a gift." She said handing the photo into his gigantic hand. Who in turn admired the image of him and his father both in uniform, hugging each other after class. 

With teary eyes he looked at her, and she felt her knees weaken with the intensity of that look.

"Thank you Cass, I don't know what I would do without you, you are my best friend, my support in difficult times and a great first place for my second place in the class. I don't even know how to thank you other than like this." He said kissing her who found herself reciprocating with unexpected enthusiasm.

"Wow." Dre said catching his breath.

"Wow." Cassie agreed, realizing firsthand the unexpected effects of playing with reality.

"Cass, you don't know how long I've wanted to do this, but right now I need to go, my dad is waiting for me. Don't you want to come along?"

"I'm sorry An...Dre. I need to do something urgently."

"So meet us at the park later, we'll be at the basketball court. Can I take the photo?"

"Of course it's yours, I'll see you later."

"Promise is debt!" He said before giving her another stunning kiss and leaving the room and her, completely stunned.

….

That late afternoon Cassie was walking through the park where the most magical and absurd situation of her life had begun. She had just sent the camera back to Cintia but the effects caused by it would remain forever. She didn't know what had happened to Raj and Sam's parents, as she didn't know either of them very well before the change happened, but she tried not to blame herself for whatever had happened as she had no way of knowing at the time what she was doing.

Although there was a situation that she knew very well what she was doing, a situation that messed up her entire life, but that she was trying hard to believe was for the best. That overlap practically obliterated the old Andrew and that was her conscious decision, impulsive yes, but deliberate and no matter how bitter the boy had been she didn't have that right, at least Andre seemed to be a wonderful person and was really a good kisser... and there was still the fact that Mr. Washington had the son he always wanted, a son that every father would be proud to have. That alone made her remorse almost disappear.

As she approached the basketball court, Andre waved to her with that fantastic smile on his face and then signaled for her to take a new photo of him and his father. Unable to avoid being infected by his joy, she also opened a smile and with a camera no more magical than usual, she recorded that moment. Knowing that if placed on a scale for good or evil, regardless of the result she was responsible.

Anyone who looked at that image could tell which way the scales tipped.

[bree-peasant]

One for the Ages - a Kakashi x fem!Reader fic

Chapter 4/5

(Back to Chapter 1, Chapter 3)

Author's note: Onto lighter times, featuring flirtatious!Genma and jealous!Kakashi! For anyone new - this is a reader self-insert, slowburn fic, but the reader has a pre-established past, which reveals itself along with the story.

Word count: 2.1k

Summary (from part 1): A new shinobi joins the Konoha ranks and Kakashi finds himself inexplicably drawn to her. Quick Gai appearance in this chapter.

Warnings: none in this chapter!

Enjoy! ♡

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As the genin were competing in the first two trials of the chunin exam, Y/N found herself with more spare time than she desired. Wanting to avoid both thoughts of the gray-haired ninja, and another situation in which she'd have to resort to her kekkei genkai, she decided that developing her skills as a shinobi was the best way to pass the time.

She arranged sparring sessions with Gai, which had become a habitual thing for them now. He had been her first opponent, but also her first friend in the village, and their relationship grew as time went on.

She was getting her butt kicked during one such match, as it was strictly taijutsu, and Gai didn't hold back for her sake. She hit the ground for what felt like the hundredth time, when he extended his hand to help her up and suggested taking a break.

They sat on a fallen log in the clearing where they trained, Y/N took a sip of water, handing the bottle over to him.

"Is there something going on between you and Kakashi, Y/N?" Gai asked, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

She took another sip without looking over at him. Finally, she spoke, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible.

"What makes you ask that?"

"I've known my rival for a long time, I can tell he acts differently whenever you're around. I just wondered if perhaps the spring of love has blossomed between the two of you like the flowers of a young sakura tree." He smiled widely.

Y/N managed to stifle her giggle at those words. Give it to Gai to describe things with so much flare.

"We're just friends, that's all." She replied, recovering her seriousness. "We have a lot of things in common." She added.

"Well, in case something does happen between the two of you, I want you to know that I will be the happiest man alive. Seeing two of my friends soaring high in the skies of love, brings such joy to my youthful soul!" He pulled his fists to his chest in a dramatic reenactment of how he felt.

"Thank you, Gai." She smiled. "But nothing's going to happen between me and Kakashi, believe me." The smile slowly fading from her lips.

On her way home from training, she thought about Gai's words. If people were starting to notice something odd between them, she had to put their minds to rest. Moreover, she had to put her own mind at rest. Although she'd enjoyed the closeness she still shared with Kakashi and their talks, he'd made himself clear that it would go no further. Perhaps it was time to move on.

Y/N was just preparing to go to bed, when she heard a faint knock on the door. Not expecting anyone, she felt on edge when opening the door. To her surprise, a scruffy-looking Kakashi stood at her entrance.

"May I come in?" He asked, weary-eyed and somber.

"Of course." She made way for him to pass. "Have you come back from a mission?"

"Indeed." He sat in his usual chair, stretching his legs in front of him and groaning in discomfort.

"Are you hurt? Do you need help?" Her voice was steady, although worry came through it.

"No, nothing some rest can't fix. I just wanted to see you."

His unexpected honesty struck a chord, but she forced herself not to read anything into his words. Instead, she put the kettle on and took some dried leaves off her rack.

"Why don't you lie on the bed and I'll make us some soothing tea. But take that muddy vest off before you do!" She added, as Kakashi headed to her room, making him chuckle.

"Don't tell me you've never thrown yourself onto the bed straight after an exhausting day." He said, putting a pillow behind his head, as he got more comfortable. It still surprised him how at ease he had begun to feel in her space. He pushed the thought away, refusing to let his feelings take over. He'd indulged enough by coming here in the first place.

Y/N walked over with two steaming mugs in hand. She handed one of them to her companion and took a seat on a chair by the bed.

"You've been keeping busy these days." He noted casually. "You're always out training or taking on new missions."

"Are you keeping an eye on me?" She raised her brow at him.

"I'm naturally observant, that's all."

As much as she enjoyed his presence, her desire to climb on top of him in that moment was too much to bear.

"Do you mind if I make some remedies while we talk?" Keeping her hands busy could resolve some of the tension in her body. She got up and started pulling various tools out.

"Go right ahead." He sipped on his tea, while watching her careful movements.

A few hours passed in pleasant conversation. Mugs, long emptied, sat on her nightstand. Kakashi got off of the bed.

"Thank you for keeping me company tonight. I needed it."

They bid each other goodnight and he left. Y/N sighed into the empty space. This friendship thing was becoming increasingly more difficult for her. She prepared her bed for the night, a new resolve building in her.

The next morning:

She was walking out of the Hokage's building after taking on a short C-rank mission to keep her occupied during the day, when she crossed paths with a handsome jōnin heading inside.

"Hey!" She called after him, surprising herself with this forwardness. "You're Genma Shiranui, right? You're one of the proctors for the chunin exam."

"That's right. I know you, aren't you Y/N? Your team is competing in the exam." He spoke, a faint smirk lingering on his lips. She nodded in response.

"Any chance you could give me a hint on what else you've got in store for these kids?" She asked, a cheeky smile lighting up her face.

"That wouldn't be very fair to the other sensei, now would it?" He replied, matching her cheek.

"It was worth a try!" Y/N prepared to leave but he interrupted.

"I'll tell you what though, my tongue gets quite loose when I've got a drink in me. How about it then?"

He was indeed very handsome, she thought, especially when he smirked in that self-assured way.

"Why not." She said out loud. "I'm on my way to take care of some things, but I'll be free tonight?"

"Great." He nodded. "See you then, sensei." He winked at her and went into the building.

Yes, a pretty distraction like that was just what she needed.

Walking out of the staff lounge later that day, Kakashi passed two chunin he vaguely recognised as Izumo and Kotetsu. They were talking loudly and he couldn't help but overhear their conversation.

"Hey, did you hear Genma's got a date tonight?"

"So what! That guy's always got some date or another."

"Yeah, but this one's with that new sensei. You know, the really pretty one."

"Ah, fair play to the guy then."

Kakashi's heart tightened at the thought of Y/N out with that jōnin. But why shouldn't she date, he tried to banish the feeling before he could even give it a name. After all, wasn't he the one who rejected the possibility of something more between them? Frustrated with both the situation and himself, Kakashi decided the best remedy was to busy himself throughout the day, so he could keep his mind distracted.

Y/N came home with enough time to shower the dust off herself and get ready for her evening plans. It was rare that she got to step out of her jōnin clothes and into something more appealing, so she took the time to make herself look nice. Once ready, she headed over to their meeting spot. Genma stood outside the venue, wearing a navy blue turtleneck with trousers to match, his signature senbon between his teeth. He grinned at the sight of her.

"Shall we?" He said, moving the curtain aside, so she could walk in.

They sat next to each other at the long bar, Genma sneaking looks at her, as they ordered their drinks. Y/N felt flushed with excitement. She couldn't help but notice the difference from her times spent with Kakashi. This felt both less secure and lighter at the same time.

They got to talking, the awkwardness quickly dissipating. Genma was very charming when he wanted to be, but he was also a good listener and showed genuine interest in what she was saying. Y/N found herself comfortably enjoying his company.

The more time passed, the more forward they became, flirting with each other and making remarks on the other's good looks. Occasionally, Genma would place a hand on her lower back, or his knee would touch hers and remain there, as if to test the waters. Y/N didn't mind, in fact, she encouraged it, feeling emboldened.

A few drinks later, they were both slightly tipsy and flushed with desire.

"It's getting late." She mentioned when the conversation had dwindled. "I should head back."

Genma looked at her, trying to read her expression. He was met with a cat-like smile that told him everything he needed to know.

"Can I walk you home?" He asked, ever the gentleman.

So, they walked, or rather swayed towards her place, locking arms whenever one of them tripped, giggling and talking loudly. Both of them too tipsy to sense the shadow that followed them close by.

Reaching the flat, they stumbled inside giggling, shushing each other, as to not wake the neighbours.

"I'll put some tea on to sober us up a bit." Y/N said cheerfully, letting go of Genma's hand, without even realising she'd been holding it for the last few minutes. In the fog of her drunken mind, she made a note of how quickly the intimacy between them had grown.

Genma looked around her flat, stopping at her bookshelf, trying hard to make out the titles, his vision blurry. When she'd put the kettle to boil, Y/N joined him where he stood, stopping awfully close to the handsome jōnin. He turned to look at her, his glazed eyes focusing on her lips, but before either of them could make a move, a knock on the door pulled them back into reality.

Surprised by the unexpected intrusion, she went to open it. And who did she find at the entrance, but the root of her recent troubles?

Kakashi stood in his usual slouched pose, a smile visible under his mask.

"Hello." Without waiting for a response, he made his way inside, brushing past Y/N.

"Oh, Genma, I didn't know you were here!" His tone was nonchalant, like they'd just bumped into each other in the staff room. "Sorry to interrupt, I think I might have left my book here last night." He said, putting a slight emphasis on his words.

Y/N stood completely stunned, still holding the door open, unable to comprehend what was happening. She watched in astonishment as Kakashi headed towards her bed with the obvious familiarity of someone who'd been in the flat many times, and crouched down to look under it.

"Hm. I think it might have fallen out of my vest when I took it off... Ah, there it is!" He pulled out a crinkled copy of Icha Icha and stuck it in his pocket. "You know me, can't go to sleep without my novels." He casually laughed, glancing at Genma, who looked like he'd sobered up rather quickly.

"Well, I'll leave you two crazy kids alone. Don't stay up too late. Goodnight." With a wave of his hand he was gone out the door.

Y/N finally regained some of her composure and turned to a very solemn looking Genma.

"I honestly have no idea what that was all about." She forced an apologetic smile on.

"Listen, I don't want to step on any toes here." He hesitantly spoke.

"You're not! Kakashi was here last night, but we just talked! I don't know why he needed to come in like that..." She blurted out, trying to do damage control.

"Look, Y/N, tonight's been great, and you're honestly very attractive, but this whole situation seems a little too complicated for me. Plus, I really don't want to get into Kakashi's bad books. That guy is terrifying."

Genma awkwardly remained in place for a moment, expecting her to say something.

"I think I had better go." He said, realising she wasn't going to.

@duckingmetal @junksmah @jinnyart06 <3

Without waiting for a further response, he let himself out, closing the door behind him with a thud.

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Next chapter

[acmeofficial]

Hey Zari who are all the agents there at acme? I only know afew of them…

Hello! Let me give you the rundown (under the cut because there are a lot of us)

Chief: Our head honcho. You probably know her. She runs everything. Founded ACME. Usually a hologram. The works!

Agent Zari: Higher ranking agent, she's been around as long as anyone can remember. Very serious unless cracking the dumbest pun you've ever heard. She usually trains new agents and is partnered with Agent Bronson if she isn't training someone.

Agent Argent: Depending on when, sometimes our agent. She's smart and analytical, if a bit of a dreamer. Everyone knows about her thing for Carmen Sandiego except her. She partnered with Zari when training and now partners with Devineaux.

Agent Devineaux: Number one car wrecker, but gets the job done! Sometimes. He looks before he leaps, but if he leaps right, he leaps RIGHT. Again partnered with Zari when training and then Argent afterwards.

Ivy: [OOC: We pretend she's here if it's relevant but most of the time Team Red has her LOL. Same with Zack] One of our newer agents who specializes more in mechanics (fixing the cars Devineaux wrecks or our drones or pens) than field work, but can get a job done like nobody's business if asked. She's technically partnered with Zack but might stay at base while he works in a bigger group so it's more of a formal pairing.

Zack: The other newer agent who turns out to have the exact same sense of humor as Chief. They get along like a house on fire. Not to mention he's got a shockingly good brain for strategy and picks up new languages like nobody's business. He's become seriously good. Again partnered with Ivy but works in groups better.

Agent Bronson*: Affectionately referred to as Jawline by me. He was Zari's partner before Devineaux and Argent came along. He doesn't talk much, but he's very competent and serious.

Agent Dobson*: Our good natured guy in the tech seat. He looks over monitoring suspects and things. He avoids the field as much as he's able to because he tends to freeze up, but you can see him on those huge operations where we need a lot of field agents because we pull like everyone. He sometimes works with Rodriquez but is usually solo.

Agent Rodriguez*: Another one of our best in the field. She helps a lot with hands-on investigations, taking suspects into custody, etc. She partners with either Dobson or Sokolov depending on the work. She's very pretty 🥺

Agent Morgenstern*: Another great field agent, if a bit impulsive. She loves to talk and act. I actually think her and Devineaux would get along great. Or maybe hate each other. Anyway she and Jacobson are partners.

Agent Sokolov*: I cannot for the life of me find a great picture of him. Sorry, Agent Sokolov. Unfortunately the pictures are only about to get worse. He works with Rodriguez, usually, on field stuff.

Agent Jacobson: Also can't find a good picture of her but she was on the Stockholm job. Another field agent and I have not if I'm honest met her very much so I don't have much to say. Sad. Partners with Morgenstern.

Agent Lombardi*: Obviously camera shy because THIS IS THE WORST PICTURE YET. He's got red hair if you ever see him you'll know. Especially because he likes to crack jokes all the time. He and Zack look similar almost until you hear them talk (Zack is from Boston and you can hear it. Lombardi is from Spain). He was assigned to the Mumbai job if any of you are familiar. He actually usually like flies our helicopters and stuff as backup which is why you may not see him usually.

Agent Anderson: Our resident crime scene photographer. I also again can't find a good picture to save my life when she had blonde hair. She after all is usually the one taking them, not having them taken. That last picture is also her she just dyed her hair because everyone kept mistaking her for Zari from behind LOL. She usually works solo as she's usually for crime scenes, not field.

Agent Williams-Green: Another field agent I confess I have not met much. She was on the VILE HQ bust. She's partnered with Agent Silva.

Agent Silva: Williams-Green's partner. Again I can't say I've met them much but they do exist LOL.

[OOC: *Names with an asterisk were done by Dusty from @carmensandiego-dreams-collection. Please check out this fic they did with the ACME agents it is FANTASTIC. https://www.tumblr.com/carmensandiego-dreams-collection/762099749041078272/this-is-a-test?source=share ]

And, finally (as far as I can remember meeting, there are way more who work office jobs or I've just never met), there's me, "Apprentice." I'm basically ACME's intern and I run their social media. Which is just Tumblr. yippee

That's me and VILE's Intern. Who I hate sooo much. Drawn by @tiredguyswag :)

[elwenyere]

*chin hands*

Tell me about TASHI DUNCAN

TASHI DUNCAN a character of all time!!! Thank you so much for this ask, Anon. Here is a non-exhaustive list of things I love about Tashi:

How canny she is, so young, about the racism and misogynoir of the world she moves through. She knows how angry white women are to lose to her, and she knows how prone the men and boys around her are to projecting their unmet needs onto her (savior, mommy, trophy, etc.). That's all part of why her career-ending injury is so thoroughly unmaking, because losing tennis makes her touchable again. There's a section in Claudia Rankine's Citizen about Serena Williams reacting to an unjust fault call, and I think about that section when I think about Tashi.

The unhinged lengths she will go to in order to avoid any repeat experience of vulnerability. On the worst day of her life, Patrick wasn't there, and Art was, and I really think a not-insignificant part of the rest of film for Tashi is driven by her need to avoid betraying any hint of disappointment or regret or doubt or hurt in front of either of them ever again. She's built so much of her life around never letting anyone see her as injured or defeated that she cannot accommodate Art's ennui or forgive Patrick's dilettantism.

Speaking of which, I've seen posts that suggest Tashi is angry at Patrick and cold toward Art, and I don't think either of those things is incorrect, but I also think stopping there would mean drawing a very incomplete portrait of a character who has just as much skin in the emotional game as the boys. It's true that she has a kind of ruthlessness both Art and Patrick lack early on - an intense self-competitiveness that allows her to disappear inside tennis - but at the root her drive is toward connection, not self-aggrandizement. Adding the "s" to revise "Game Changer" to "Game Changers" is about insisting on her place in Art's career, sure, but it's also about recognizing the collective nature of tennis's battle with the self. "It's like we were in love," she says of her juniors win. "Or like we didn't exist. We went somewhere really beautiful together": Tashi understands that self-transcendence is not a solo act.

To wit: Tashi's day-to-day is continuously shaped by family ties, while both Patrick and Art are conspicuously unparented and largely unparenting. Again, it could be easy to read Tashi as the most self-interested or self-contained of the three, but I think the film uses family (her nods to what her parents wanted for her, her sharing of care duties with her mother, her rituals with Lily) to show that in many ways Tashi's life actually involves more mutuality, on a structural level, than either Art or Patrick.

Which reminds me of Tashi's LILY bracelet: one of the pieces of jewelry she gradually acquires in the course of the film (including the crucifix necklace she starts with, the Cartier trinity pendant she adds later, and Art's grandmother's ring). I think Tashi's accessories offer a very interesting way of reading her orientation toward the sedimentary, sometimes competing attachments she's formed - especially when compared to Art's name-brand-corporate-sponsored everything and Patrick's affectedly dirtbag aesthetic. They're all trying to understand the relationship between who they are and who they were when they met, and the costuming telegraphs their different strategies.

Thank you again for this ask, Anon!!! I have a lot of feels about Tashi, and I wrote some of them into a little character study, Rally Point (1.7k, E).

[max1461]

I think something that many people of the high-modern bent (leftists, rationalists, etc.) tend to forget when they talk about society is this: many people (I would conjecture, most people) are not hedonists, either in philosophy or practice. There exist many things which people value inherently, above and beyond the capacity of those things to produce pleasure.

One ready-to-mind example is morality: people will often sacrifice their happiness significantly to do what they believe is right. If they happen to have a hedonist ethics, then we might say that they're still trying to maximize net pleasure overall, but if they don't have a hedonist ethics this is certainly not the case. They might, for instance, have a virtue ethics or a deontological ethics, and make great sacrifices to their own happiness in order to behave in a way they believe is just.

The above example is, I think, a special case of a broader class of example, whereby people make sacrifices to their own happiness in order to embody their ideal self. If your ideal self is very skilled at something, you may forgo a great deal of pleasure in pursuit of that skill. Think if Olympic athletes, who I frankly doubt tend to recoup the total lost pleasure of all the strict dieting and regimented lifestyle and so on via the pleasure they get from training and competing. Think of anyone who makes great personal sacrifices for achievement. Or think of the tortured artist, the virtual archetype of a person who cares more about the quality of their work than their own wellbeing. But cases need not be so extreme: I can think of many people who I would consider normal, healthy, happy individuals, who just happen to be a little competitive, and who I suspect are not pleasure-maximizing by spending so much time practicing at their skill of choice. Am I meant to tell them they are wrong for doing this?

There is a tendency in contemporary society to pathologize this way of interacting with the world, even among people who don't conceptualize themselves as hedonists, but I reject the idea that it is something to be avoided. I myself value my own pleasure, of course, and other people's pleasure too. But I also value things above and beyond the degree to which they give me pleasure: I value knowledge, I value success at my endeavors, I value aesthetics, I value the wellbeing of my friends and loved ones. All of these things I would gladly sacrifice some amount of net pleasure to advance. It is furthermore the case that I have been happiest in life, experienced the most pleasurable existence, when I have felt that I was successfully advancing these goals. It is possibly the case that I could experience more net pleasure by abandoning these goals and totally changing who I am (through, perhaps we can imagine, some sort of brainwashing), but I would of course be vehemently opposed to this. And so it is notable that maximizing satisfaction of my non-hedonic goals is also the state which achieves the local maximum of pleasure. Anything greater would involve greater changes to my psyche—wireheading, in short. I think this too is true of many people.

Anyway, I'm not a utilitarian (for mostly nitpicky philosophical reasons), but to a first approximation I am a preference utilitarian. To me, acting justly towards someone means working to make it that their preferences are satisfied in addition to your own, in some sort of appropriate balance where the two conflict. This is not, to a first approximation, hedonic utilitarianism, which differs obviously in how it handles wireheading but which I think also disagrees in more nearterm ways, like (perhaps) "whether we should pathologize highly competitive people" and so on.

Anyway, if you are a local high-modernist dreamer (affectionate) (self-recognizing), and you find me on your post grumbling about something, I think there's about an 80% chance that something amounts to "not preference utilitarian enough!". Or whatever.