#(i have studied it for years) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wormtime123 · 8 months ago

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i couldn't rest until i made something this is driving me insane. so what if i dismissed your success as because of your hardships instead of in spite of them

#fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #dimension 20 #riz gukgak #fantasy high spoilers #my art #riz is a better man than me bc if i read all that i'd have straight up started killing people #where's your fucking rage where;s your anger RISE RISE RISE #kipperlily i am studying you like a bug

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nosnexus · 7 months ago

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Wanted the Rat Grinders to have a proper cover.

(In a perfect world I'd make a variant cover with The Bad Kids and the Ice Feast)

#d20 #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #the rat grinders #kipperlilly copperkettle #oisin hakinvar #mary ann skuttle #ruben hopclap #ivy embra #buddy dawn #my art #couldn't quite get the contrast I wanted on this one #I'll have to do some value studies when I have time

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year ago

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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

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waterthatsmoe · 2 months ago

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Pocky Game ❤️♠️

#twst #twisted wonderland fanart #twisted wonderland #twst fanart #ace trappola #deuce spade #deuce twst #ace twst #next year I will draw the rest of the first years..#I have a test tmr so i wanna study 😭😭 sighh #mizudrew

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caemidraws · 10 months ago

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#dnd #dungeons and dragons #artists on tumblr #art #ocs #marsilio #pettirossi #if you need me i'll be over there projecting #studies of things that will happen in game in about 15000 light years #or in two weeks #doesn't matter since i have a final next one so two weeks are kinda like 150000 light years for me #blorbos save me save me blorbos

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tea-tuesday · 2 months ago

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reflections on my two weeks living in nyc again, feat. 192 books, a really cool bookstore i found in chelsea 💗 i'm still figuring out the trajectory of this blog but once i start work (tomorrow, eep!), this may just turn into a workblr or nyc "travel" tumblr??

#it looks like ive been doing a lot these past two weeks and it's because i have been lol #think i've done more in these past two weeks than i have in the 5+ years i lived in the city.. back when i was scared of everything #also those are two different erics and i didn't even meet with one of them #tea-tuesday #studyblr #mine #studyspo #study inspiration #studying #study #study motivation #reading #workblr #work #new york #chelsea #hobonichi #hobonichi weeks

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frankensteinposm0 · 2 months ago

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« But you are everything to me. »

I might turn this into a comic but I have to think about it. Anyways the sillies 🫶🏻

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why-the-heck-not · 2 months ago

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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))

#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to #sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now #yay? i guess #also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious #also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now #bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree #but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow #now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should #not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually #super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta #just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year #ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr #studyspo #bookblr #booklr #study #november 2024 #2024

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slavhew · 4 months ago

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She's like a daughter to me.

A very dangerous daughter trained in multiple combat techniques you try not to piss off.

#do NOT tag as ship or so help me god #gorillaz #murdoc niccals #noodle #noodle gorillaz #phase 1 #phase 4 #humanz #murdoc gorillaz #murdad #admin draws #fanart #i just reeally wanted to draw them. 20 years gap. sorry. ill see myself otug #finished the colors real quick ccause i feel like any rendering is like #superfluious #aND I HAVE THE GODDAMN MIKU WIP. WHICH IS ALMOST DONE BY THE WAY #thats a whole ass style study and i wanted to get on it asap #buzt yeahg uhgjh. many feelings about these two

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months ago

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oh hey! i was reading a fic the other day where Wangji was once misspelled as Wangu. which leads me to: MDZS Pingu-style??? noot noot!

Do you think love can bloom on the sea ice?

#mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #digital art #Club penguin #ask #I've drawn a lot of strange crossovers for MDZS but this one really takes it up a notch #I saw this ask and thought “yeah why not. I've been meaning to do style studies. Let's experiment.”#And the moment my pen hit my tablet I was struck by the need to make it even worse.#Perhaps I am just nostalgic for club penguin and pengu but I think there is something magical about them holding hands.#Anyways I think younger WWX would have loved club penguin. It's the joy of the minigames and hanging out with your friends online.#Lan Wangji could never get past the fact the 'Ask your parent/guardian!' part of registration.#Either because he knew Lan Qiren would have said no *or* because he asked once and got turned down.#Lan Xichen probably was like 'Hey I can help you with that :)' to which LWJ said no because that was breaking the rules.#But if I *had* to put wangxian in a club penguin AU? Yeah 1000% it's LWJ as a mod and WWX as a notorious (nootorious) griefer.#WWX would be trying to speed run how fast he can get banned or how much he can get away with.#Getting removed and returning over and over earns him the 'necromancer of CP' title in the community. Loathed by many.#Meanwhile LWJ is about to seriously consider doxxing this guy just to get him to stop making his volunteer hobby less of a nightmare.#Cue 10 years later. They meet up on the ice flow on the last day before the servers get shut down. They have a genuine heart to heart.#Three years later on Club Penguin rewritten: two grown men decide to relive their childhood one more time.#Fate draws them to the same server.#I ask again. Do you think love can bloom on the digital sea ice?

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bixels · 4 months ago

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I'm not explaining why re-imagining characters as POC is not the same as white-washing, here of all places should fucking understand.

#personal #delete later #no patrick. “black washing” is not as harmful as white washing.#come on guys get it together #seeing people in my reblogs talk about “reverse racism” and double standards is genuinely hypocrisy #say it with me: white washing is intrinsically tied to a historical and systematic erasure of poc figures literature and history.#it is an inherently destructive act that deplatforms underrepresented faces and voices #in favor of a light-skinned aesthetic hegemony #redesigning characters as poc is an act of dismantling symbols of whiteness in fiction in favor of diversification and reclamation #(note that i am talking about individual acts by individual artists as was the topic of this discourse. not on an industry-scale)#redesigning characters as poc is not tied to hundreds of years of systemic racism and abuse and power dynamics. that is a fact.#you are not replacing an underrepresented person with an oft-represented person. it is the opposite #if you feel threatened or upset or uncomfortable about this then sorry but you are not aware of how much more worse it is for poc #if representation is unequal then these acts cannot be equivalent. you can't point to an imbalanced scale and say they weigh the same #if you recognize that bipoc people are minorities then you should recognize that these two things are not the same #while i agree that “black washing” can lead to color-blind casting and writing the behavior here is on an individual level #a black artist drawing their favorite anime character as black because they feel a shared solidarity is not a threat to you #i mean. most anime characters are east asian and i as an east asian person certainly don't feel threatened or erased. neither should you.#there's much to be said about the politics of blackwashing (i don't even know if that's the right word for it)#but point standing. whitewashing is an inherently more destructive act. both through its history of maintaining power dynamics #and the simple fact that it's taking away from groups of people who have less to begin with #if you feel upset or uncomfortable about a fictional white character being redesigned as poc by an artist on twitter #i sincerely hope you're able to explore these feelings and find avenues to empathizing with poc who have had their figures #(both real and fictional) erased; buried; and replaced by white figures for hundreds of years #i sincerely hope you can understand the difference in motivations and connotations behind whitewashing and blackwashing #classic bixels “i'm not talking about this chat. i'm not” (puts my media studies major to use in the tags and talks the fuck outta it)

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pummelingbat · 1 year ago

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Persecution Complex, or: "Just You, Me, And The Weight Of Your Dead Girlfriend Between Us"

#reanimator #reanimator 1985 #herbert west #dan cain #danbert #bride of reanimator #my art #this is the only comic piece from my zine im gonna post here i think. im trying to show SOME self restraint.#but im too geeked abt how this one turned out... want to share The Vision #i may get scared and delete. im shy abt my comic writing. but.#have an early installation in the Gay Herbert West Character Study ive been drawing all year.#shoutout to tumblr auto cropping longer posts now. so i at least dont feel inconsiderate formatting this vertically lol.

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honehonn3honey · 1 year ago

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pallanophblargh · 6 months ago

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I have a disproportionately loud mess of a head for no discernible reason* so it’s kind of a miracle that I spent the last month and some change willing myself to wield watercolor again. Witness the struggle! A long overdue color sketch for a (super patient) client.

Just watercolor with a boop of gouache.

*they are a mush of small but immense problems??? Executive dysfunction being maximized by meds the main culprit…

#watercolors #work in progress #equine #commissioned work #color study #traditional media #traditional art #you wouldn’t believe how much I want to hyperfocus on this piece for a week state #but the burnout and year long hiatus have shaken my confidence to its core #and I was never a confident person to begin with #it’s a horrible feeling and I have had to borrow J’s will to conquer it in any way #I celebrate even the smallest victory these days otherwise I’d burst #can you believe my adhd diagnosis was inconclusive?#no I’m fan but I am getting tired of relying on my brain to punch itself #i need new meds holy shit #there are not enough apologies to make up for how I feel about making everyone wait

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honeyspeeches · 1 year ago

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