#(he’s trying to figure out why talking to you hurts) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hannamoon143 · 18 hours ago

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You drew stars around my scars ✮⋆˙

Life is hard. Some people don't know how to cope with that. Some people just try to feel mentally better by causing physical pain instead. How ironical, isn't it? Oh but bless you, that lee felix is in your life. Because this man never misses a thing.⋆｡°✩

Genre:Angst,Hurt/comfort

Warnings:Sh,a bit childhood trauma, Depression, Crying, mentions of food,mentions of bad eating habits

Lee felix x fem.Reader

Words: 3,9k

a/n: hey everyone<33 To write this fic brought me some comfort too, and it's healing me a bit more everytime i can use my own experiences,emotions and thoughts to write something that comforts others too, and relate to y/n a lot. And i know i'm not the only one, so i hope this can bring everyone that reads it a bit comfort. And pls always remember what of a beautiful person you are. Hurting yourself is never ever the only solution. If you need someone to talk, reach out to someone, anyone, also me if you don't have anyone. I'd rather have literally any person cry for hours in my arms, or vent to me in my dm's than have them hurt their own bodies, that always supports them. Everything felix says in that fic is true, and they r my own thoughts about this. I love you all, take care of yourselves.<3

Depression takes a lot from you. It takes your motivation, productivity, the will to socialize, and your happiness. It’s unfair isn’t it? Little, happy children become tired, broken adults.

People always think depression is something where you sit in your bed the whole day and cry. Well that is half true. Yes, there are days like that, but that’s far not everything. The worst are those dull days, when you feel entirely numb, but your life has to go on anyways. No joy in your heart, and no tears in your eyes. Just a big nothing in your mind.

After a while you figure it out though. It’s always those numb episodes, until every emotion you thought didn’t exist the days before, crashes down on you. And it’s overwhelming. Every.single.time.

But what if you’d find something that could ‚help‘ you? Something that brought you pain and relief at the same time? That made you feel alive, in the numb episodes and distracted you from the pain in the days where you broke down? The price was just your beautiful skin, and blood...

A problem was though, once you’d start, it would be very hard to stop again. But why should you anyways? Why should you stop when it was the only thing seemingly bringing you comfort for some short time?

It started off by you, picking at your skin absimendtly whenever you felt anxious, or when you just didn’t pay attention. It felt relieving. It was the burning pain when you scatched on your skin so hard it was slightly bloody, making you feel like your feelings actually mattered. And then that one night. That night everything crashed down on you. Your friends wanted nothing to do with you anymore, the few you had before, cut contact. You couldn’t even be mad at them. Who wouldn’t be annoyed by someone who constantly cancelled plans, and gave off a „depressing, annoying attitude“? Well these were their words. Oh but you saw it coming. All the overthinking in the middle of the night, those worst case scenarios, they had come true.

And your family? You never had a healthy relationship with them. So now, that you were grown up, the contact was almost entirely dead. And yeah, there was your boyfriend felix, but you’d never burden him with your problems. He already had enough on his mind with the world tour and all the new released albums, of the band he was in.

And that was it. No one there that you could reach out to, no one to comfort you, when your heart and mind were breaking into millions of glass splitters. Every person reaches their breaking point someday. And that day was yours. You remembered the night clearly. You were sitting on the bathroom floor, crying out all the emotion you had been holding in for too long. You had no friends anymore. No family. And pretty sure soon no boyfriend too. Nothing to hold onto.

Then you reached out to a drawer. You didn’t really register what you were doing as you took it out. A simple, silver blade. A little cut on your wrist. A line of crimson red blood on your skin.

At first you were terrified. What had you done? Why weren’t you affected by the stinging pain on your wrist, and the blood building in the small cut? Why did it in fact feel good? And then you decided to try it again, just to answer those questions right?

That’s where it started.

You knew you had depression. But going to a therapist? You were scared, probably too lazy, and you could never tell all your problems to a complete stranger. And most of all you didn’t want felix to worry either. He was the only one left, and soon he would surely leave too. He was the sweetest, sunny person on this earth, he deserved someone that matched his energy, and wasn’t so… hard to love.

Every single task felt like a hard, impossible chore. Getting out of your bed felt like doing the unbelievable. Doing the most simple things like showering, or brushing your teeth seemed so far away, that you could only master them on your best days. Some days, you went to work, did everything you had to, with a straight, stoic face. That was until you came home, laid into your bed, and silent tears would build wet spots on your pillow.

But somedays, even crying seemed too overwhelming. All you could do was lay in your dark room, staring at the wall. It was just the darkness and you, and somewhere in your mind, a voice whispering that it would help to cut...

And then there were these rare days, on which you felt almost too overwhelmed. It were those days you came home, and added another scar to the gallery of them on your arms. You questioned your life on these days. Because truly, you didn’t see a reason why you should be here right now. No, you weren’t proud of it. But who was there to stop you? Why should you quit if it was the only thing keeping you sane right now? When it was only the stinging pain who could make you slip out of the monotone haze in your mind, for at least a little bit time.

But it would be stupid to assume felix didn’t notice something was off. Lee felix was a pure person. Someone who could make even the rainiest days shine bright. And he cared about the people he loved more than anything else.

When you started cancelling plans it was already alarming for him. You were someone who never cancelled plans with him. You were usually a happy person, someone who made jokes that were actually funny. Someone who made him laugh with your little quirks, that he noticed over time. Someone who comforted him when he felt bad. And most of all you were the most excited person when you two would meet up. You never missed to tell him how much you loved him, that he was your happy person, and your comfort person.

That was before

Before suddenly everything stopped. He rarely got to see your beautiful face now anymore. You took a long time to respond to his texts, and when you did, they were short, and dry. This didn’t feel like you. Felix knew you. And that wasn’t you. This wasn’t the happy girl he met. And he surely wasn’t planning on letting things go like this forever. Something wasn’t right. And no matter what you said or did, to try and get away from him, and shut everything out, he would stay by your side. He would find out what was wrong and do everything possible in this world to make you feel like yourself again.

It was another day today. Another number on the calendar. You stopped looking at it. It didn’t matter anyways. Those were just numbers on paper, and they would never change anything. So you dragged yourself out of bed, feeling even heavier than usual. Like a zombie you just quickly got dressed, not even registering what you were wearing, and drank a mug of coffee. It would make you feel a bit more awake for at least a few hours. Eating breakfast had become impossible in the last few weeks. You were barely eating anything the whole day, to be honest. Sometimes, you just couldn’t stand up and make yourself something. But most times, you just didn’t feel hungry.

You went your usual way to work. At the bus, you took a short glance at your phone. You used to be on your phone a lot for the silliest things, but now you hated it. You hated the brightness, and that everytime you looked at it you had to interact with others. And the worst was, it remdinded you of what you had lost. The spark you had in your eyes on photos from a long time ago.

Something popped up on the screen

A message from felix. Of course. He messaged you every single day. You couldn’t ignore him, no matter how shitty felt, you couldn’t bring yourself to ignore him. So you opened it.

Hey sunshine<3How are you today? I thought of maybe grabbing some takeout and watching a movie together tonight, since i have off early! I’ll even let you pick one of those cheesy romcoms you love so much. Love u^^

You sighed. He was still so sweet, so caring, when he should be really annoyed, right? His girlfriend was a walking zombie, why didn’t he already break up with you?

Hey lix, sorry no time today.

Then you quickly put your phone away. You couldn’t stand thinking of his lips turning into that sad pout, when he’d read your answer. But you couldn’t meet him. You didn’t care how stubborn that was, but you wouldn’t let him see you like this. He would see right through you, and get you to tell him what was wrong.

You stopped making excuses someday. Who even cared? Sooner or later he’d leave, just like your friends. No lame excuses would matter then. Someone like you was unlovable. And that would never change.

As felix read your response he sighed.

That was enough. He wouldn’t let your relationship carry on like that. He wouldn’t let you carry on like that. Something was clearly wrong and he wouldn’t stand so far away and watch you slowly shut down from the entire world. Not anymore. Tonight he would come to your apartment, if you wanted to or not.

You didn’t remember what you did throughout the day. When you tried to recall it, there were only hazy memories, covered in a grey, thick fog. You didn’t even remember how you came home. Everything just happened. Now, you were walking through your apartment door, kicking off your shoes and coat. With a deep sigh, you dragged yourself to the bathroom. You shut the door, immediately sinking down on the floor. You were exhausted. More than that. The past days, or maybe even weeks you had held everything in more than usual. You felt like passing out right then and there, on the cold bathroom tiles. But there was something else. You knew that feeling. When you would have spent too many days in numbness, then at one point, every emotion, everything you thought wasn’t there before, creeps up in your throat from the depths of your soul. You feel the grieve, the sadness, the anger, the guilt, every single emotion crashing down on you at once. And then you can’t stop it anymore.

Tears started to well up in your eyes, and you pulled your knees up for a bit comfort.

These were the moment you hated the most, besides the numbness. Being numb is uneblievably tiring, but when all the feelings, everything comes up at once, that is even worse. You never knew how to deal with your emotions well. When you were a kid you never got the chance to express emotions. Crying was not allowed. If you did, you’d hear „ Stop it, or i’ll give you a reason to cry.“ If you screamed or hit out of anger you’d get punished in some way. Only a polite smile was, what was allowed to show on the outside, what to show to other people. That was probably part of the reason why you’d grown into a person who had these unhealthy, shitty habits, instead of expressing and coping with their emotions well.

You knew you should just let it pass. Endure these feelings. Maybe text someone to try and distract yourself. But somehow, you always went back to drowning out emotions with physical pain. You took the sharp blade from the bathroom drawer, your hands going unbelievable shaky like they always did when you took it out. You only started to cry more. You hated that you did it. You hated that you were a person that couldn’t handle their own feelings like a responsible adult, and had to shut them out with self harming instead. And still you did it again and again. You hated the way your arm looked when you put your sleeve up now. White lines from old cvts. Slightly reddish ones from some that happened some time ago. And those brightred ones. Reminders of not too long ago. They made you so angry. Reminding you of who you were. Of what you were.

So you decided to look away. You just put the blade to your wrist, looking at the blank bathroom wall. It was already so familiar, you knew where it would hurt the most without even looking.

Felix was searching around his apartment for that gray hoodie you wanted to have everytime you saw him wearing it. Maybe it would cheer you a bit up. As he finally found it, he grabbed the brownies he had made for you earlier, and his keys, heading out his apartment, to head to yours instead.

He started his car. It was a short drive so there was not much time for thinking. But there were some thoughts in the back of his head. Wasn’t he overstepping? You clearly didn’t want to see him, maybe you were also just annoyed?

But felix shook those voices off. He knew you. He had known you for years, and this wasn’t you. He had to do this.

And then he was already at your apartment. Slowly he got out of the car, taking the things, and started to walk up the stairs.

Soon he was in front of your door. Should he knock? He knew where your spare key was but he didn’t want to be respectless. So he softly knocked on the door.

„Y/n? It’s me, felix. I know you didn’t want to meet, but… i was worried. Can we talk please, my love?“

He waited for a minute. But there was no answer. Maybe you really weren’t at home? He decided to just try it. To his surprises the door was unlocked. That meant you were home, but also why would you let your door stay unlocked? He sighed, and locked it from the inside. He quietly took off his shoes, and put them on the side. Yours were scattered messily on the floor, and your coat too. Usually you hated when something in your apartment wasn’t organized. Maybe you were in a hurry before. He went into the kitchen, wich was dark, putting the brownies on the counter. „Y/n?“ he softly called out again. Still no answer.

But there, suddenly he heard something. A quiet, mumbling or...crying? His brows furrowed and he tried to follow the sound. There. In the bathroom. It seemed like you didn’t hear him calling you. At first he considered just going back to your kitchen and waiting there for you to come out, but when he heard another deep sob from you, he knew what to do. Whatever was going on right now, he wanted to be by your side. So he took a deep breath and opened the door.

„Y/N, what is g-“ His eyes widened in shock, and your head perked up immediately at the door clicking open, your gaze changing from surprise, to confusion, to somewhat realization and guilt. The sight in front of him horrified him. His beautiful, lovely girlfriend sat on the bathroom floor, her face red and puffy from crying, and a sharp blade in her hand. And your arm… How couldn’t he notice? He just stood there, in the door, staring at you.

You couldn’t read his face. Was he mad…? Of course he’d be mad. You quickly reacted as you got to your senses again. You jumped up, letting the blade fall, and a drop of blood dropping down on your white bathroom tiles.

„Felix…. I can explain, i h-haven’t, it’s not what it looks like o-okay? I’m okay, p-please i know you’re mad but-“

You got cut off. You couldnt’t even say anything more, because suddenly you were wrapped up tightly in your boyfriend’s comforting, warm embrace. You forgot how good a hug from him felt… And when you got a little glance at his face that was it. No anger, no twisted kind of any emotion against you. There was pure sympathy and love. When you also saw a tear rolling down his face, you couldn’t take it anymore. You buried your face in his neck, and let go. You sobbed uncontrollably, your arms and legs trembling so much, to the point your knees gave in, and felix slowly sank to the ground with you. Why did the cvts on your arms suddenly really hurt for the first time? He had you pulled on his lap, rocking you back and forth, stroking your hair gently. „Shhh, it’ll be alright. I’m here now, you are not alone.“

Good thirty minutes later, your sobbing had stopped, and only warm paths of tears remained on your cheeks. Felix lifted your head from his neck a bit, so he could look into your eyes. Though you had just cried your heart out, it was still the most mesmerizing pair of eyes he had seen in his life. He gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

„Let me treat those, okay?“ He simply said, glancing at your cuts.

He was gentle. He desinfected every single cut, apologizing every time you hissed at the sharp pain. Then he put some healing ointment on your fresh ones, and some at your older ones too. Then, with gentle, calm hands he bandaged your arms. He ended his treament with featherlight kisses on them. Then he got up, helping you up too. He had his hands on your side, his eyes on your face.

„Love…I won’t ever judge you, or get mad at you for anything, i hope you know that okay? I know that this is probably your way to cope with things, and i know that you know it’s not healthy. But it’s okay. Please just promise me, you will come to me instead of doing that, from now on hm? Everytime you want to do it you call me, text me, whatever. I’d rather have you crying in my arms for hours, venting to me for hours, you screaming at me, or do whatever you need to, than have you hurt and bleeding entirely alone on the floor. I’ll come over, and do whatever i need to, to cheer you up alright? And don’t shut me out from your life. I want to be a part again. I miss the way you’d text me when you see something that makes you smile. Or when you send me pics of the cute cats you saw on the sidewalk. Or when you just simply tell me about your day. And most important of all, i’ll stay by your side okay? No matter what. I will do everything to help you recover, and build up your life in a way that makes you happy okay? Let me help you sunshine. You don’t need to do it all alone.No matter how hard it in the past was, I’m here now, and I don’t plan on leaving soon.“

Tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time you smiled at him. „Okay lixie. Okay. I’ll try.“

Then he softly smiled at you, and guided you to your livingroom, where he made you sit on the couch. He rushed off to the kitchen, and was soon back again with a plate of brownies and his gray hoodie. „It seems like you didn’t eat much lately, you’ve been getting a bit too skinny, love. But don’t worry, now i’m here to feed you with everything you want to eat. You don’t need to move a single finger.“ He mumbled, as he first handed you the hoodie, wich you put on immediately and snuggled into it. It had always been your comfort hoodie, since it was big, fluffy, and always smelled like him a lot. Then he put down the plate in front of you. Felix’ brownies had always been one of your favorite things. They were delicious like no one else’s.Everytime you asked him what he was throwing in there, he always told you that it was his love and care wich he made them with. You believed him, this man made everything better with his sunny personality.

You simply smiled at him, and took one of the brownies, taking a big bite

„That’s my girl.“ He chuckled, ruffling your hair. As you were munching, and he was watching you with a fond smile, he suddenly asked „Do you have a marker somewhere here?“ You looked up, raising a brow. „Yeah, in the drawer over there i guess, why?“ He just stood up, and opened said drawer, taking the marker. He was back by your side in an instant. „Please give me one arm love“ He said, politely like always. You were still pretty confused but how could you say no to that? So you slowly laid your bandaged arm in his hands. He kissed it once and then softly started to draw on it. „What are you doing?“ you asked, mouth full of brownie.

„Those my love, are battle scars. It isn’t beautiful how you got them, but they are a part of you now, and they make you the person you are. They deserve to be called beautiful now too, like every single body part of yours. I love every part of you. And when they are healed, I’ll kiss each and everyone of them, but for now, they deserve to be treated with care. They will only heal properly, if you let them. If you’d always be angry when you’d look at them, they would never really heal. You would never really heal. You need to forgive yourself, and someday you will be able to move on. They show how far you’ve come, that it was very hard, but you never gave up. Battle scars, my love.“

You looked into his eyes. He said all that so sincere, you believed every word. And then as he was done you saw what he did. A lot of little stars, and a pretty moon in the middle were drawn on the bandages. And next to the moon he wrote a little note

„Because i want you to never forget who you are. You are Y/n L/n, a fighter, and the most beautiful woman i know.“

„How did i deserve you lee felix?“ You murmured in awe.

„You deserve the world, and more my love.“

And that really was a turning point. Thanks to felix, your days weren’t dull anymore. He was always there with you, laughing and talking a lot, but he also respected when you wanted some alone time. And when you came to him somedays, crying and telling him that you wanted to do it again, he took you in his arms, wrapped you both into a blanket and rocked you back and forth, until no tears were left anymore, and the world seemed a bit brighter again. Then he mumbled soothing reassurances into your hair, kissing you on the forehead.

And like this, you were willing to try. You were willing to try and recover, and create a life that you loved living, with him in it.

a/n: now a note to: @athenawindwolf because I didn't have the courage to say it that night ( we ignore that i'm writing this while you are texting me,still in that night), i'll be your chan friend, and in the context of this fanfic your felix friend, whenever you need me. I hope yk, I never judge anyone, and i've been through a lot too so rlly i would never ever judge or tell anyone if you tell me smth. We said we r the big sisters of our friends now, so that means we r sisters right? Come to me whenever you need to talk. Now this was for u, and I also have to say i'm thankful someone is sharing one of my interests now<3 Ily di angelo.@athenawindwolf (and i hope i didn't make you cry with this fic)

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lila-lou · 2 days ago

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✨His true fate - Part 36/?✨

Summary: Jensen hasn't been happy for years. But it seems almost impossible for him to escape. After another nasty argument between him and his wife, he decides to visit his ´former´ best friend for his birthday. Back in Austin, an encounter awaits him that will turn his life completely upside down.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Language, age gap, Angst

Word Count: 8075

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

Jensen’s panic quickly shifted to anger, sharp and hot as it coursed through him. He stared at the photo again, his jaw tightening. He recognized the moment immediately—it had been just before Christmas, during one of the most exhausting days he’d had with the kids and Danneel. He’d wanted nothing more than a break, a few quiet moments to himself, and the hot tub had seemed like the perfect escape.

He remembered it vividly: he’d been leaning back, arms stretched out on the edge, eyes closed, a few drinks already in his system. The steam rising around him had been a small comfort, a rare moment of peace in a storm of tension. And then Danneel had appeared, catching him off guard as she joined him—completely naked.

“What the fuck are you doing, Danneel?”, he’d barked, sitting up straight as she slid into the water.

“I just want to talk”, she’d said smoothly, her tone too calm, too practiced. She’d waded closer, her movements deliberate, and before he could react, she’d climbed onto his lap.

The memory made his blood boil. He’d pushed her away immediately, his voice sharp and full of disbelief. “Get off me! What the fuck is wrong with you?”,

But none of that was in the photo. Whoever had taken it—probably Danneel herself—had captured only the moment before, when she was laughing, leaning against him, making it look far more intimate than it had been. The scratch on his bicep from hanging the Christmas picture was like a mocking timestamp, proof of how recent the photo was.

“She planned this”, Jensen muttered to himself, his anger growing with each passing second. “She fucking planned it”.

He clenched his phone tightly, his mind racing. This was exactly the kind of manipulation Danneel was capable of—trying to undermine his relationship with you, to keep him tethered to her for appearances, or simply out of spite. It was infuriating, and it made him feel sick knowing that you’d been hurt because of it.

Jensen paced the room, running a hand through his hair as he tried to figure out what to do. He needed to fix this. He needed to talk to you, to explain everything. But first, he had to make sure this didn’t happen again.

He grabbed his phone and called Danneel. She answered after a few rings, her voice casual, as if she hadn’t just sent a wrecking ball into his life.

“Jensen”, she greeted, her tone almost sweet. “What’s up?”.

“You know exactly what’s up”, he snapped, his voice low and angry. “That photo. The one you sent to her. The fuck are you trying to do?”.

There was a pause, then a feigned laugh. “I have no idea what you’re talking about”.

“Don’t play games with me, Danneel”, he said, his tone sharp. “You set me up. You took that picture knowing exactly how it would look, and then you sent it to her to mess with us. Why?”.

Jensen’s voice was rising, raw and filled with fury. “How the hell did you even get her fucking number?”, he demanded, pacing back and forth, the tension radiating off him in waves. His hand tightened around his phone as though he could physically shake the truth out of her.

Danneel’s pause on the other end of the line was brief but telling. “It wasn’t hard”, she said casually, her tone dripping with smug satisfaction. “You know, Jensen. Your phone always laying around”.

Jensen let out a sharp, bitter laugh, his disbelief bubbling over. “You signed the fucking papers, Danneel! It’s already over. Why the fuck would you try to destroy that for me? Why can’t you just let me be happy?”.

Her voice was calm, too calm, and it only made him angrier. “Because, Jensen, you don’t just get to walk away like this never happened. You don’t get to move on and play house with someone else while everything we built gets left in the dust”.

“Everything we built?”, Jensen snapped, his voice nearly breaking. “You mean the marriage you’ve been emotionally checked out of for years? The marriage that was dead long before I met her? Don’t give me that bullshit, Danneel”.

His words hit a nerve, and her tone turned icy. “Watch yourself, Jensen. I still have plenty of things I could say. Things that could make your little fairy tale crumble”.

Jensen stopped pacing, his body rigid as he pressed the phone closer to his ear. “You think threatening me is going to change anything?”, he growled. “You’re only proving why I had to leave in the first place. I’m done playing these games, Danneel. Done”.

She didn’t respond right away, but he could almost hear her smirk through the silence. “If you were really done, Jensen, you wouldn’t be calling me now, would you?”.

His grip on the phone tightened. “The only reason I’m calling is because you crossed a line. You had no right to send her that picture. None”.

“And yet”, Danneel said smoothly, “it seems to have gotten your attention. Funny how that works”.

Jensen clenched his jaw, the anger simmering in him reaching a boiling point. “You think this is a fucking game, don’t you?”, he said, his voice deadly quiet now. “Well, congratulations. You won this round. But this stops here. Do you hear me? I won’t let you come between us”.

Danneel’s laughter came through the phone, low and cold, the sound sending a fresh wave of frustration through Jensen. “Looks like it’s already working”, she mused, her voice tinged with triumph. “You’re losing your temper, Jensen. I don’t think I’ve heard you this rattled in years”.

He clenched his jaw, his fingers tightening around the phone. “You think this is funny? You’re playing with people’s lives, Danneel. Real people. This isn’t just some power move to make you feel better”.

She ignored his words entirely, her tone dripping with mock concern. “So, how bad was it? Did she already dump you? You don’t call me like this unless you’re desperate. Guess I hit a nerve”.

Jensen’s chest tightened at her question, his mind flashing to you. The guilt was suffocating, but he wasn’t about to give Danneel the satisfaction of knowing she’d hit her mark.

“You’re unbelievable”, he said, his voice low and dangerous. “This isn’t about me. This isn’t about her. It’s about you not knowing when to let go. You signed the papers, Danneel. What the hell do you even want from me?”.

“Maybe I just wanted to remind you who you’re dealing with”, she said smoothly. “You don’t get to rewrite history, Jensen. I was there first, and I’ll always be part of your story, whether you like it or not”.

Jensen let out a harsh laugh, shaking his head even though she couldn’t see him. “You really don’t get it, do you? Being ‘first’ doesn’t mean a damn thing when you treat someone like they’re last. Whatever hold you think you have on me, it’s gone. And if you ever try something like this again, you’ll regret it. Trust me”.

Danneel’s silence stretched for a moment, her smirk almost audible when she finally spoke again. “We’ll see about that”, she said simply, her tone calm and calculating.

Jensen ended the call without another word, throwing his phone onto the couch as he dragged a hand through his hair. His chest felt tight, the weight of the situation pressing heavily on him.

The sun was already high in the sky by the time you stirred awake, your body feeling heavy from a restless night. As you rubbed your eyes and reached for your phone, the missed calls and messages from Jensen were the first thing you noticed. Your chest tightened as you scrolled through, rereading his words:

“This isn’t what it looks like. Please, call me as soon as you wake up. I swear, there’s nothing between us. I love you. I’ll explain everything”.

Despite his reassurances, doubt gnawed at the edges of your mind. How could he explain a picture like that? No matter how much you trusted him, seeing him and Danneel together—naked in a hot tub, no less—felt like a punch to the gut. You needed to hear his voice, needed him to tell you this was some cruel misunderstanding.

You quickly dialed his number, the ringing in your ear feeling like a countdown to answers you weren’t sure you were ready for. But instead of Jensen’s familiar voice, you were met with his voicemail. You tried again, your anxiety climbing higher with each unanswered call.

By the third attempt, you sat back on the couch, your phone still clutched in your hand. Jensen wasn’t picking up, and the hollow ache in your chest grew stronger. Little did you know, he had finally succumbed to the exhaustion that had been dragging at him, having stayed up for hours after his night shoot, waiting for your call. His phone was sitting untouched on the nightstand beside him as he slept deeply.

You stared at your phone, debating whether to leave a message. The weight of your emotions made it hard to think clearly. A part of you wanted to lash out, to demand answers, but another part of you just wanted to cry. Instead, you put the phone down, wrapping your arms around your knees as you tried to steady your breathing.

The room felt too quiet, the silence amplifying every doubt and fear in your mind. Jensen’s reassurances in his message had sounded so genuine, but the image of him and Danneel wouldn’t leave your mind. You hated feeling like this—unsure, insecure, questioning the foundation of a relationship that had always felt so solid.

You curled up on the couch, pulling the blanket over you as you tried to gather your thoughts. You knew you needed to talk to him, but the uncertainty of what you’d hear when you finally connected weighed heavily on you.

The day felt like an endless tug-of-war, each missed connection with Jensen adding to the gnawing anxiety in your chest. Every time he called, you missed it—whether you were in the shower, in the bathroom, or distracted with mundane tasks. Each time you tried to call him back, he was on set, his phone tucked away as he filmed.

It was frustrating, the space between you growing wider with every missed opportunity to connect. But what truly broke you was the message from the unknown number—one that cut through your fragile resolve like a knife:

“You think he’s faithful to you when he wasn’t with me? Don’t fool yourself. Stop being a stupid little girl”.

The words stared back at you from the screen, venomous and cruel. Your stomach twisted, and your hands trembled as you reread the message. It was the same number that had sent the photo, and while you didn’t know who it belonged to, the implication was clear: someone wanted to hurt you. And worse, a part of you couldn’t ignore the nagging fear that it might be true.

The nausea returned with a vengeance, twisting your stomach into knots as the cruel message replayed in your mind. No matter how hard you tried to push it away, it lingered, poisoning your thoughts with doubt and insecurity. By the evening, you found yourself hunched over the toilet, your body trembling as you emptied your stomach yet again. The violent retching left you gasping for breath, your hands clutching the cool porcelain for support.

Tears streamed down your face, a mix of physical exhaustion and emotional turmoil. You hated how deeply it affected you, hated how a few words from an anonymous number could unravel your sense of security. The image of the photo—the hot tub, the laughter, the closeness—was seared into your mind, feeding your worst fears.

By the time the sickness subsided, you were shaking, your body weak and your mind heavy with despair. You leaned back against the bathroom wall, your knees pulled to your chest as you tried to steady your breathing. The house felt too quiet, too empty, amplifying the ache in your chest.

Your phone buzzed from the counter, the sound startling in the silence. You hesitated, reaching for it with trembling hands. The screen lit up with Jensen’s name, and your heart skipped a beat. He was trying again.

You stared at it for a moment, torn between answering and letting it go to voicemail. Eventually, you pressed the green button, your voice hoarse as you whispered, “Yeah?”.

“Baby”, Jensen’s voice came through, filled with relief and urgency. “Finally. I’ve been trying to reach you all day. Are you okay?”.

The sound of his voice sent a fresh wave of emotion crashing over you, and your throat tightened. “No”, you admitted, your voice breaking. “I’m not okay, Jensen. I don’t know how to be okay right now”.

His sigh was heavy, his frustration with himself clear.

"I swear, that picture isn’t real”, Jensen said urgently, his voice tinged with panic. “Well, I mean—it is, but it’s not what it looks like. It’s not what you think, baby. You have to believe me”.

You closed your eyes tightly, tears slipping down your cheeks as you shook your head even though he couldn’t see you. “Jensen, I don’t even know what to believe anymore”, you sobbed, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. “It hurts. It hurts so much”.

The sound of your crying broke something in him, and his voice softened, though the desperation was still there. “Don’t say that”, he murmured. “Please don’t say that. I love you. I love you so much, and I would never hurt you like this—not on purpose”.

Your grip on the phone tightened as another wave of tears overcame you. “Then why does it feel like you did?”, you choked out, the pain in your chest almost unbearable. “Why do I feel like I’m just… some stupid little girl, like that message said?”.

Jensen let out a string of curses under his breath, his frustration clear. “That message? That’s not me. That’s not us. That’s Danneel trying to mess with your head. She sent that picture, and I know she sent that message too. She’s trying to ruin what we have because she’s bitter, but it’s not true, baby. None of it is true”.

His words were rushed, almost frantic, and you could hear how much this was tearing him apart. But your mind was a storm of doubt, the image of that photo and the cruel words from the message replaying over and over.

“Then why were you even in that situation?”, you demanded, your voice shaky but laced with a flicker of anger. “Why did it happen in the first place? Do you know what it’s like, sitting here, alone, missing you, and then seeing that? Do you?”.

Jensen’s silence was deafening, and for a moment, you thought he wasn’t going to answer. But then his voice came through, raw and filled with regret. “No, I don’t”, he admitted quietly. “I don’t know what it’s like. But I know that I messed up. I let myself get caught in her bullshit, and it’s hurting you, and I hate it. I hate myself for it”.

Your sobs quieted slightly, your heart aching at the pain in his voice. “Jensen…”, you whispered, unsure of what to say.

“I’m coming home”, he said firmly, cutting you off. “I’ll get on the next flight, and I’ll explain everything to you in person. I need you to see my face when I tell you the truth, baby. Please let me come home and fix this”.

Your heart was racing, torn between the desire to believe Jensen and the lingering doubt clawing at your mind. Just as you were about to respond, you heard a voice in the background, faint but clear enough to interrupt the moment.

“Jensen!”, It was Antony, one of his co-stars. “They need you on set. Now”.

Jensen cursed under his breath, his frustration palpable even through the phone. “Shit”, he muttered, his voice strained. “Baby, I don’t want to hang up, but they’re calling me. I—”.

You cut him off, your voice raw and unsteady. “Go. Just go, Jensen. Do your job”.

He hesitated, clearly torn. “I don’t want to leave you like this”.

“You don’t have a choice, do you?”, you said bitterly, the words slipping out before you could stop them. You immediately regretted the sharpness in your tone but didn’t correct yourself. “Just… do what you have to do”.

“Baby, please”, he pleaded, his voice softening. “Don’t let this fester. I’ll call you back as soon as I’m done. Or better yet, I’ll get on a plane tonight. I swear”.

The line went quiet for a moment as he waited for your response, but all you could manage was a quiet, “Okay”.

“I love you”, he said, the words carrying an almost desperate sincerity.

But you couldn’t say it back, not right now. The silence stretched, and before he could push further, Antony called his name again, more insistent this time.

“I have to go”, Jensen said reluctantly. “Please, just… hold on for me”.

You didn’t respond, and after a beat, the line went dead. The sound of the call ending left an emptiness that felt even heavier than before. You stared at your phone, the quiet around you amplifying every ache in your chest.

For the rest of the day, you felt trapped in limbo, unable to focus on anything. Every time your phone buzzed, your heart jumped, only to sink again when it wasn’t Jensen. The mix of anger, sadness, and doubt churned in you, making it impossible to find peace.

You wanted to believe him. God, you wanted to. But the picture, the message—it was too much. And now, with him gone again, all you could do was wait.

The next morning, the nausea clung to you like a persistent shadow, leaving you drained and barely able to move. Each step to the bathroom felt like a marathon, and the cycle of weakness, tiredness, and hurt seemed unending. Your emotions were already raw, and the physical toll only made everything feel heavier.

Every moment, you expected to hear the door open, to see Jensen standing there with an apology and an explanation. But the house remained quiet, save for the occasional hum of your phone vibrating with notifications that weren’t from him.

When you finally managed to drag yourself back to bed, curling up under the covers in a futile attempt to find comfort, your phone buzzed again. It was from Jensen, and the brief flicker of hope in your chest vanished as you opened the message:

“I’ve tried everything, but I can’t come. They need me in Toronto for two more weeks. I’ll call you tonight—I promise”.

The words blurred in your vision as tears welled up again. Two more weeks. It felt like a lifetime, especially after the emotional storm of the past few days. The hurt twisted in your chest, mingling with a sense of defeat. He wasn’t coming, and the hollow ache of his absence felt unbearable.

You threw your phone onto the bedside table, burying your face into the pillow as your body shook with silent sobs. His promise to call that night was little solace. The distance between you wasn’t just physical anymore—it felt emotional, a canyon growing wider with every unanswered question and missed reassurance.

Hours passed in a haze, the nausea keeping you pinned to the bed as the weight of everything pressed down on you. The day dragged on endlessly, the hours punctuated only by your occasional trips to the bathroom. Each time you returned to bed, the ache in your chest seemed heavier.

When night fell, you stared at your phone, waiting for it to ring. You wanted answers, explanations, anything that could ease the turmoil inside you. But as the minutes stretched into hours, the phone remained silent.

You were too tired to cry anymore. Curling up under the covers, you closed your eyes, your heart heavy as sleep finally claimed you, though it offered no escape from the pain.

Even though Jensen rarely left voice messages, you woke up around midnight to see a notification: a voicemail from him. Your heart raced as you played it, his familiar, exhausted voice filling the quiet room.

“Hey, baby”, he began, his tone heavy with fatigue. “I’m so sorry, but things are absolutely crazy here on set. We’ve had delays all day, and I can’t call tonight. I know you’re upset with me, and I promise we’ll talk soon. I just need you to hang on a little longer. I love you”.

It was the kind of message that would’ve reassured you once—but not now. Not after the past few days of being pushed aside, ignored, and left in the dark. First, the lack of calls or texts. Then the picture and message that shattered your trust. And now, this—another excuse, another delay.

Your emotions surged, the hurt and frustration boiling over into something you could no longer suppress. Gripping your phone tightly, you opened your messages and typed out the words before you could second-guess yourself:

“It’s alright, Jensen. Maybe a little break is what we need right now. See you in two weeks”.

Your thumb hovered over the send button for a moment, doubt creeping in. But the anger and exhaustion won out, and you pressed it, the message sending in an instant.

As the seconds ticked by, the weight of your decision began to settle in. You set the phone down on the nightstand, staring up at the ceiling as your chest tightened. For now, this felt like the only way to protect yourself from the rollercoaster of emotions he’d put you through. You needed space—space to think, to breathe, and maybe even to figure out if this relationship was truly as solid as you’d believed.

Curling up under the covers, you willed yourself to sleep, though your mind refused to quiet. You didn’t know how Jensen would react, or if he’d even respond, but for now, the ball was in his court.

The next few days passed in a blur of unanswered calls and unread messages from Jensen. His texts ranged from concerned to apologetic, to downright pleading, but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond. Every time your phone buzzed, it only added to the weight in your chest.

It wasn’t just the unrelenting nausea that kept you from answering—though that was bad enough. It was the fear of hearing yet another excuse or promise that would inevitably fall short. You felt raw, drained, and utterly unprepared to face his voice or explanations. And then, another fear began creeping in: you couldn’t remember the last time you’d eaten a proper meal. Over the past week, everything you tried to eat came right back up. You were weak, shaky, and desperate for answers.

So today, you dragged yourself to the doctor’s office, clutching the straps of your bag tightly as you sat in the waiting room. You’d convinced yourself that the stress had finally caught up with you, wreaking havoc on your stomach. Maybe some pills could calm it down. Maybe you just needed something to numb everything you were feeling.

“Ms. (Y/L/N)?”, the nurse called out, her voice drawing your attention. You stood slowly, your legs unsteady beneath you as you followed her into the exam room.

The doctor entered shortly after, a kind, older man who listened intently as you explained your symptoms. He nodded along, jotting down notes on his clipboard.

“Well”, he said, closing the file and looking up at you with a calm expression, “it sounds like there could be a few things going on here. But before we jump to conclusions, let’s run some tests to rule out anything serious”.

You nodded, your hands clasped tightly in your lap as they drew blood and asked for a urine sample.

The doctor’s words were calm and reassuring as he handed you a small pamphlet about managing stress-related nausea, though his advice to rest and eat light foods felt almost impossible to follow. He mentioned the test results would be ready in two days, and you could return to discuss them. You nodded along, thanking him softly before leaving the office with heavy steps.

When you reached your car, you slid into the driver’s seat and pulled out your phone to set a reminder for the follow-up appointment. As you scrolled through your calendar to select the date, something stopped you cold: little red dots marking the weeks of your cycle—or rather, the lack of them. Your heart stuttered as the realization hit you.

You hadn’t marked your last period.

Not this month.

Not even the month before.

Your mind raced as you counted backward, piecing together the timeline. Stress, nausea, exhaustion - it all clicked into place like a puzzle you hadn’t even realized you were solving.

You stared at your phone screen, the glaring absence of those little red dots sending your mind spinning. For a moment, you just sat there, frozen, as the weight of the realization settled over you. Then, to your own surprise, a laugh bubbled up from your chest—sharp, bitter, and disbelieving.

“This has to be a fucking joke”, you muttered to yourself, shaking your head as the laugh turned into something closer to hysteria. Your life already felt like a bad movie, but this? This was beyond absurd.

Pregnant? No. Absolutely not. That wasn’t even possible.

Jensen had told you about his vasectomy years ago. He’d said it with a shrug, explaining how he’d made the decision after his third child. “Snipped and done”.

So what the hell was this?

Your stomach churned, and for once, you weren’t sure if it was the nausea or the panic clawing at you. You gripped the steering wheel tightly, your knuckles turning white as you tried to rationalize what was happening. Maybe you’d miscounted your cycles. Maybe the stress had thrown off your hormones. Maybe the nausea was some weird lingering bug that had nothing to do with this.

You bit your lip, your mind racing as you tried to shake the persistent thought of pregnancy. It wasn’t logical. It couldn’t be true. And yet, the idea clung to you like a bad dream, refusing to let go. Every rational argument you came up with was met with that same nagging doubt.

“Against all odds”, you muttered to yourself bitterly. “Just my fucking luck”.

In a trance-like state, you started the car and drove to the nearest pharmacy. The familiar streets blurred around you as your thoughts spiraled, replaying every moment that could have brought you to this point. By the time you pulled into the parking lot, your hands were trembling on the wheel.

You didn’t get out right away. Instead, you sat there, staring at the bright pharmacy sign glowing in the distance. Your stomach churned with nerves, a fresh wave of nausea rolling over you as you considered the possibility. It was ridiculous. Impossible. And yet, here you were.

As you leaned your head back against the seat, your phone buzzed next to you. The screen lit up with Jensen’s name, and your heart clenched. He was trying again. Another call, another chance to hear his voice, to let him explain, to maybe find some comfort in the chaos.

But instead of answering, you let it ring. The sound seemed to echo in the confined space of the car, each buzz pulling at your already raw emotions. You couldn’t do it. Not right now. Not until you had answers for yourself.

When the call ended, you stared at the phone for a long moment before finally stepping out of the car. The cold air hit you, jolting you slightly as you headed inside. You moved through the store quickly, avoiding eye contact as you grabbed a couple of pregnancy tests and made your way to the register. The cashier barely looked at you, and you were grateful for their indifference.

Back in the car, the bag felt heavy in your lap as you sat in silence. Your chest felt tight, your breath shaky as you realized there was no turning back now. Whatever the result, you needed to know.

You gripped the steering wheel tightly, your knuckles pale as you took a deep, shaky breath. It’s just the stress, you told yourself. Jensen can’t make babies. He had a vasectomy, for fuck´s sake. This is all in my head.

Repeating those words like a mantra, you started the car and began the drive home.

The drive felt longer than usual, your thoughts spinning with every mile. You thought of Jensen, his laughter, the way he’d always reassured you when you were overthinking. But now, it felt like there was a wall between you, built by the distance, the missed calls, the photo, and now this unbearable uncertainty.

It’s just stress, you repeated silently. It has to be.

By the time you pulled into your driveway, your nerves were frayed, but you felt a faint flicker of determination. You gathered the bag, clutching it tightly as you made your way inside. You dropped your purse near the door and headed straight to the bathroom, closing the door behind you and locking it with a resolute click.

You placed the boxes on the counter, staring at them for a moment before letting out a deep sigh. “Let’s just get this over with”, you muttered to yourself, opening one packaging and reading the instructions. Despite your shaky hands, you managed to follow the steps, setting the test down on the counter as you sat back on the edge of the bathtub, waiting.

The seconds stretched into what felt like an eternity. You tried to calm your racing heart, reminding yourself again and again that the odds were impossible. Jensen couldn’t make babies. You were just overwhelmed, and dealing with too much at once.

But even as you told yourself that, you couldn’t shake the weight of doubt pressing down on your chest.

Finally, the timer on your phone buzzed softly, jolting you out of your thoughts. You stared at the test lying face down on the counter, your heart pounding so hard you could hear it in your ears. For a long moment, you couldn’t move, your hands gripping the edge of the counter to steady yourself.

It’s impossible. It’s just the stress, you repeated in your mind, but the words felt hollow now. Every second you hesitated made the tension in your chest grow tighter, the air in the bathroom feeling impossibly thick.

Finally, with trembling fingers, you reached for the test, the plastic cool against your skin as you turned it over. The small screen blinked back at you, and for a moment, your brain refused to process what you were seeing.

Two lines.

The world tilted for a moment, your breath catching as you stared at the unmistakable result. Two lines. Pregnant.

“No”, you whispered, shaking your head as if that could change the outcome. “No, that’s not… that’s not possible”.

But the test didn’t waver. The reality of it stared back at you, unflinching and undeniable.

Your hands trembled as you reached for the other tests, ripping open the packages with shaky fingers. It has to be wrong, you thought desperately, your mind racing. It’s just stress, or a faulty test. It has to be.

One by one, you followed the instructions, your breath shallow and your pulse pounding in your ears. You lined up the tests on the counter, each of them a small, silent judge waiting to deliver their verdict.

Time dragged as you waited, staring at the row of tests like they held the power to decide your future. Finally, the seconds ticked down, and you turned the first test over. Then the second. The third.

By the time all five were turned, you were staring at ten lines total, their meaning unmistakable. Pregnant. Every single one.

You bit your lip, still frozen in place, unable to process what you were seeing. A hollow laugh bubbled up in your throat, escaping despite yourself. “This can’t be real”, you whispered, shaking your head as you gripped the edge of the counter for support. “It’s… it’s not possible”.

But the lines staring back at you didn’t waver. The room felt too quiet, the weight of the truth pressing down on you like a lead blanket.

Your stomach churned, the nausea threatening to rise again, but you pushed it down, focusing on the tests in front of you. Ten lines. Five tests. There was no escaping it now.

You’re pregnant.

And you had no idea what to do next.

The silence in the room grew heavier as another thought crept into your mind, one you didn’t want to entertain but couldn’t shake.

Maybe Jensen lied about the vasectomy.

You frowned, staring at the tests again as if they might suddenly change their verdict.

And while you were sure Jensen loved his kids more than anything, he’d always been so adamant about not wanting more. That was part of the reason you’d never really worried about this happening. He was certain. He was done. Wasn’t he?

Your mind spiraled, each question leading to another. Had he lied? It didn’t seem like him to do that.

You shook your head, cutting off the whirlwind of thoughts. No. Jensen wasn’t the kind of man to lie about something like that. He was too honest, sometimes to a fault. But then what?

Your stomach twisted again, not just from the nausea but from the fear and uncertainty clawing at you. The picture, the message, the distance between you and Jensen lately—it all felt like it was piling on top of this new revelation, threatening to crush you.

You needed answers, but the thought of calling Jensen felt impossible right now. If he had lied, what then? If he hadn’t, how did this happen?

What the hell are you going to do?

You sank onto the bathroom floor, your back against the wall, staring at the line of positive tests on the counter. For the first time in days, the tears didn’t come. You were too overwhelmed, too numb to cry. You didn’t know what to feel—only that your world had just shifted in a way you never could have expected.

On set, Jensen was a shadow of his usual self. He’d always been the kind of actor who could compartmentalize—focus entirely on the work, leaving whatever was going on in his personal life at the door. But today, it was like that ability had completely deserted him.

He fumbled his lines repeatedly, missing his cues and breaking character in ways that were completely uncharacteristic of him. Every mistake earned him a concerned look from the director, but he brushed off the quiet questions with a muttered, “Sorry, long night”, or a vague excuse about being under the weather.

Inside, though, he was spiraling.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you—not just your silence, but the fear that had settled deep in his chest. Jensen had never felt panic like this before. You weren’t just upset; you were shutting him out completely. No matter how many times he called or texted, there was no response. And after the message he’d left last night, he thought he’d hear from you by now.

He wasn’t used to this kind of uncertainty, and it terrified him. The possibility of losing you—of pushing you so far away that he couldn’t fix it—felt unbearable.

“Jensen”, the assistant director, called gently, bringing him back to the moment. “Let’s take it from the top. Just take a breath, man”.

Jensen nodded stiffly, running a hand through his hair as he forced himself to focus. He tried to shake it off, to dig into the professionalism he’d relied on for so many years, but the second the scene started again, his mind wandered.

Are you okay? Are you still upset? Are you—

“Cut!”, the director called, exasperated but still trying to be patient. “Jensen, man, what’s going on? This isn’t like you”.

Jensen exhaled heavily, rubbing the back of his neck as he struggled to come up with an answer. He couldn’t tell them the truth—that he was one text away from completely unraveling.

“I just—”, he started, but the words wouldn’t come. He shook his head and muttered, “Give me five”.

Without waiting for permission, he walked off set, grabbing his jacket and pulling his phone out of the pocket. He stared at the screen, willing it to light up with a message from you, something—anything—to break the silence. But there was nothing.

He hovered over your name in his contacts, his thumb brushing over the call button, but he hesitated. If you weren’t answering, it was because you didn’t want to talk to him. And the thought of that hit him like a punch to the gut.

“Damn it”, he muttered, leaning heavily against the wall. He wasn’t used to feeling this helpless, and it was driving him to the brink.

As the afternoon crept on, your phone buzzed persistently with calls. Each time Jensen’s name lit up the screen, it was like another weight pressing against your chest. You’d ignored him for days, but his relentless attempts to reach you began to chip away at your resolve. By the fifth call in a row, you sighed heavily, your fingers trembling as you finally answered.

“Hey”, your voice came out quieter and shakier than you’d intended, but it was all you could manage.

There was a beat of silence on the other end, followed by the sound of Jensen’s breath hitching. “Baby”, he said, his voice full of relief but also thick with worry. “Thank God. I’ve been losing my mind. Why haven’t you been answering? Are you okay?”.

The sound of his voice, so familiar yet distant, sent a pang through your chest. For the first time, it felt foreign to you—like the voice of someone you no longer knew. The days of silence, the picture, the cruel message, the endless nausea, and now the impossible test results… it was all too much.

“I’m fine”, you said flatly, the words automatic. But they weren’t true, and you knew he could tell.

“Fine?” he repeated, his tone incredulous. “I know you´re not.Talk to me”.

You hesitated, gripping the phone tighter as your emotions warred within you. Part of you wanted to tell him everything—to lay it all out and demand answers. But another part of you felt so detached, so unsure of where you even stood, that the thought of opening up to him felt impossible.

“I’m just… tired”, you said finally, your voice cracking slightly. “It’s been a lot, Jensen. I don’t know…”.

He cut you off, his voice tinged with desperation. “Don’t do this. Don’t shut me out. Please, baby. I know I’ve messed up. I know I haven’t been there the way I should’ve been, but I swear to you, I’m trying to fix it”.

His words should have soothed you, but they only made the ache in your chest worse. “It feels like all you do is promise things”, you said softly, your tone bitter despite your attempt to keep it neutral. “But nothing ever changes".

“That’s not true”, he argued, his voice raising slightly in frustration. “I’ve been trying, trying to come home, but the timing’s been—”.

“Terrible?”, you interjected. “Yeah, Jensen. It’s been terrible. For me. For us. And I don’t even know if there’s an ‘us’ anymore”.

The silence that followed was heavy, the weight of your words hanging in the air. When Jensen finally spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. “What are you saying?”, he asked, his tone raw and broken.

Your grip on the phone tightened as you struggled to hold back tears. “I don’t know”, you admitted, your voice trembling. “I don’t know what I’m saying, Jensen. I just… I don’t know how to feel right now”.

The vulnerability in your voice seemed to knock the wind out of him. “(Y/N)”, he whispered, his voice full of pain, “whatever this is, we can figure it out. Please, don’t give up on me. On us”.

Hearing his voice crack sent fresh tears streaming down your face, but you stayed silent, unsure of what to say. For the first time, you weren’t sure if there was anything left to say.

Jensen’s voice broke through the heavy silence, softer now, laced with raw emotion. “You know it’s been Danneel”, he whispered, his tone pleading but also tinged with hurt. “She’s trying to destroy us. She’s done it before, and now she’s doing it again. Why would you doubt me so easily?”.

His words hit you like a weight, and you felt your chest tighten further. You closed your eyes, leaning against the wall as your grip on the phone tightened. You wanted to believe him—you really did. But everything about the past few days had left you feeling fragile, unmoored, and unsure of what to trust.

“It’s not that easy”, you murmured, your voice barely audible. “I saw the picture, Jensen. I read the message. And you weren’t here to explain. It’s been days. How was I supposed to feel?”.

Jensen exhaled sharply on the other end, his frustration barely contained. “You were supposed to trust me”, he said, his voice breaking slightly. “I’ve never lied to you. Not about us, not about anything. Why would I start now? Why would I risk everything we have for… for her?”.

“I don’t know”, you whispered, the tears in your throat making it hard to speak. “I don’t know what to believe anymore”.

“Believe me”, he said firmly, his voice cracking with desperation. “Please, baby. You’re all I care about. Danneel’s just trying to get in your head. You can’t let her win. Don’t let her take this away from us”.

Your tears spilled over again, your heart aching at the raw pain in his voice. You knew Jensen wasn’t someone who let his emotions show easily, and hearing him like this only added to the storm inside you.

“I want to”, you admitted, your voice trembling. “I want to believe you so badly. But I feel so… lost, Jensen. Everything feels like it’s falling apart”.

“It’s not”, he whispered, his voice steadying slightly. “We’re not falling apart. I’m here, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that to you. Please”.

“I don’t know what to do”, you said softly, almost to yourself.

Jensen’s voice came through the line, gentle but resolute. “You don’t have to do anything. Just… let me come home and fix this. Let me prove to you that I’m telling the truth”.

Jensen's voice softened, his tone pleading yet firm. "I’ll be home tomorrow. And we’ll talk, alright? I’ll explain everything—what happened in that picture, why it looked like that, and why the fuck I would never cheat on you. Especially not after buying a fucking house for us”.

As his words grew sharper toward the end, his voice cracked slightly, frustration and anger bleeding through. Before you could respond, he hung up abruptly, leaving you staring at your phone in stunned silence.

The sound of the call ending felt like a slap in the quiet room, and the weight of his last words lingered in the air. You could hear the raw emotion in his voice—his anger wasn’t just about the accusations but the sheer pain of hearing you doubt the foundation of your relationship.

You sank onto the couch in the living room, your head spinning. The way he’d hung up so quickly stung, but the guilt gnawed at you too. You hadn’t meant to say the words that hurt him so much. I don’t even know if there’s an us left. The second they’d slipped from your mouth, you’d wanted to take them back, but the damage was done. And it had clearly hit him harder than either of you had anticipated.

Now, all you could do was wait for tomorrow to come and hope that somehow, this conversation would bring clarity instead of tearing you apart further.

Meanwhile, on Jensen’s end, he slammed his phone onto the bed with more force than he intended. His chest heaved as he paced the room, running his hands through his hair in frustration. Your words replayed in his mind, cutting deeper every time. I don’t even know if there’s an us left.

“Fuck”, he muttered, his voice barely audible as he sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. His hands cradled his face as he tried to steady his breathing. The idea of losing you—of everything you’d built together slipping away—was unbearable.

The next day couldn’t come fast enough for him. For now, all he could do was cling to the hope that he’d be able to fix this when he saw you. And that you’d still be willing to let him try.

The next day began the same way the last few had: with your stomach rebelling against you. You knelt over the toilet, weak and exhausted, your body trembling from the effort. By the time the nausea passed, you were too drained to do anything but sit on the bathroom floor for a few moments, letting the cool tiles press against your skin.

Eventually, you made your way to the kitchen. The clock on the wall read just past noon, and you realized you hadn’t eaten anything substantial in days. You poured yourself a small bowl of oats, hoping something plain and gentle might stay down. You managed two spoonfuls before your stomach churned violently again, the sensation threatening but not enough to send you rushing back to the bathroom.

You pushed the bowl aside, leaning back in your chair with a hand resting on your stomach. The restlessness gnawed at you, a mix of nerves and the undeniable physical discomfort that had become your new normal. You glanced at the clock again, the minutes dragging impossibly slow as you waited for Jensen’s arrival.

The thought of facing him made your chest tighten. There were so many things to say, questions to ask, but you weren’t sure where to start. Could you even bring yourself to tell him about the tests? About what those two lines meant? Would he even believe you, after the accusations and the growing distance?

———————————

A/N: Well, there we go, lol. Please let me know what you think.🥰

Taglist: @cheynovak @chriszgirl92 @jenniferr0323 @angelbabyyy99 @cevansbaby-dove @muhahaha303 @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @n-o-p-e-never @mayafatimakhan @ladysparkles78 @viviandarkbloom06 @jassackles @evasmlp @acklesaddict67 @mostlymarvelgirl @emma1998sblog @mishaesque @headinthemoon87 @hobby27 @winchesterwild78 @impala67rollingthroughtown @manicjk @kr804573 @zaratahir @djs8891 @winchesterwild78 @jamerlynn @whimsyfinny @libby99hb @deansimpalababy @deans-queen @kawaii-arfid-memes @faephoria @stoneyggirl2 @fitxgrld @luvr4miya @yikeschoices @lyssalvus @soab1967 @luvr4miya @didi0666 @impala67rollingthroughtown @cheekygirl2309 @kamisobsessed @deansimpalababy @magnificientgirl

#jensen ackles x reader #jensen x reader #jensen fucking ackles #jensen ackles x you #jensen x y/n #jensen x you #jensen ackles x female!reader #jensen ackles #jensen ackles the boys #jensen ackles x y/n #his true fate #spn fanfic #spn cast #spn #supernatural

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11queensupreme11 · 2 days ago

Note

Anyway, so how mad do you think the ror gods and humans would be when they see Luke betrayal and all that ? The yandere love intrest plus platonic posideon?

(they messaged me saying they didn't mean to add the platonic poseidon part so i won't talk about that!)

(also! reminder that this is about tv show!luke, not book luke!!!!)

i'm gonna try and fit as many characters i can here lmao wish me luck, i'll start with the yans first

cú chulainn: i already vaguely spoke about this, but he canonically wants to dethrone zeus and he's described to be ambitious. he would SOOOOOO look down on luke (more so than even the GODS would, which says a LOT cuz gods look down on everything). luke wants a revolution and to get rid of the gods because of all their wrongdoing?? great! wonderful! he'll be nodding in approval....... until he finds out luke's doing it by trying to bring kronos into power 💀 he'd be like "smh ur not a TRUE hater 😒🖕" because to him, you should seize that power yourself, not give it to another deity!!!! don't even get him started on when luke hurts percy, that'd just be another reason to loathe him cuz how DARE you???? only he can be a meanie to her! 💀

poseidon: dear gods, he would torture this boy if he was in the pjo universe 💀 trying to bring back his alternate father is one thing, trying to RECRUIT his daughter into his pitiful attempt of a revolution is another, BUT TO HARM HIS DAUGHTER????? luke is very very VERY lucky that he's already dead in elysium and in a whole other universe

hades: he would be furious as well!!!!!!! he doesn't know what pjo!kronos is like, but if he's just as bad as his father, then he wouldn't want ANY version of him back! he was a smidgeon bit sympathetic to luke's cause and can understand why he was doing this, and he can see that kronos really was the only way to take down the gods, but he just hates his father soooo much so his sympathies can only go so far. plus, this boy betrayed his innocent niece-wife! the poor girl genuinely saw him as a friend! a big brother figure even! and he goes and tries to brainwash her and then attacks her for mentioning hermes!

apollo: hated luke early on because of how close he was to percy (same for the other yans tbh), but now he has an even better reason to hate him: he hurt and betrayed her! his poor darling cousin, he just wants to give her a hug 🥺 he knows what it's like to be betrayed, he could totally punish the mortal for her if she wants (she doesn't, but he's not listening at that point). he's great at punishing traitors! just ask cassandra! 🤗

beelzebub: ahhhhh NOW he understands why percy got so sad when she showed him luke's picture in her album. but ANYWAY, best believe he's seething with rage at this. yes, he can tell that luke had been blinded by his anger when he attacked her, but he doesn't care. he's one of the most overprotective yans EVER, he does NOT want any harm coming to percy at all. to him, any threats, no matter how minor, must be ELIMINATED. because small threats can turn into bigger ones and he's (as always) proven correct as the books go on

loki: he was already screaming "KILL HIM, KILL HIM, KILL HIM!" when luke shows up and starts bonding with percy, but this was solely out of jealousy. but now that luke's hurt her? he's gonna go feral and actually try to jump the screen 😂 thor and odin would have to hold him back lmao

anubis: will be right next to loki screaming "KILL HIM, KILL HIM, KILL HIM!" while ra tries to hold him back and kebi's cheering for her daddy in the background 😭😭😭 he was already pouty and sulky when he saw luke and percy get close (their bond is STRICTLY platonic, but the yans don't see that. any male + percy = BAD 💀), but now that he's hurt her mentally and physically, he wants the boy dead.

NOW ONTO THE REST!!!!!

mnemosyne: already saw this coming cuz she saw it in percy's memories, but they're strictly in percy's POV, not as an outsider pov. so now she gets the chance to see it as an outsider pov and her nonexistent heart lowkey breaks when she sees percy's look of devastation when she realizes she accidentally hurt luke (her fatal flaw of loyalty is showing her) and how luke's own fatal flaw (wrath) rears his ugly head and makes him attack her when hermes is mentioned. she doesn't care much for luke, but she knows that percy does and that his loss definitely impacted her

adam: he feels so terrible for all these kids. he can tell that luke's been brought to the brink of desperation, and that kronos was literally the only way, but he's also the WORST possible choice. and now he's forced to watch these two kids battle it out. the gods in that universe must really be cruel....

kebechet: since she's in her child form while watching this, she doesn't really understand what's happening that much. all she knows is that a bad guy lied to mommy and hit her, and it made mommy sad! so she'll be tugging at her daddy's arm and begging him to make mommy feel better and take the bad guy away 🥺

ra: first off, luke's an idiot. second off, percy is way too trusting and she needs to stop hesitating to kill mortals/other demigods. the camp's done too much damage instilling heroic morals on these demigods, when they should've focused on making them more divine, that way they'd make more logical callous choices obviously 🙄 percy is too naive, pjo!poseidon never should've let her in the camp and should've just raised her but nooooo let her be a hero and get herself killed like every other demigod in that universe. good idea 😒😒😒😒 best way to raise a kid smh

prometheus: okay now he knows he said that he's a staunch supporter on letting humans make mistakes but bringing back kronos?????????????? are you sure about that luke???????????????????? 😭😭😭 this is probably the ONE MISTAKE he cannot let slide 😭 he does NOT like his uncle kronos 😭😭😭😭 also pls leave his baby cousin out of this mess, she's got enough on her plate!!!! yes the gods are shit, BUT KEEP HER AWAY FROM KRONOS 😭😭😭😭😭😭

sun wukong: "this kid's a dumbass" 💀

rhea: omfg she would slap the shit out of luke so hard jashfjkdfvgdjhasdfajsh 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 summon a gigantic ass slipper to slap the shit outta him fr 💀 YOUR PLAN IS TO BRING BACK HER ALT!HUSBAND????????? WHO IS WORSE THAN THE GODS???????? in the pjo universe, kronos was so paranoid that he'd be usurped that he ATE HIS OWN CHILDREN and you wanna bring him BACK???????????????? she'd be shrieking at the screen for him to stay away from percy, that man is a DANGER to her life if his solution is KRONOS

#👸🏻| asks #👸🏻| arsenic blues

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vvanillal · 2 days ago

Text

𓄹⠀𓈒⠀ㅤׄ Sentimental Feelings꣑ৎ 𓄹⠀𓈒⠀ㅤׄ

Summary- Draco hates you, but why?

Warnings- Draco Malfoy x F! Reader, angst, bullying/teasing, hufflepuff! Reader

Word Count- 1.6K

A/N- Part 2 coming out tomorrow or the next day!!! It’ll be smutty.

Draco hated you. But who didn’t he hate? When he wasn’t picking on his favorite Gryffindors, he was picking on you. You knew why Draco hated you, but you could never understand it. The saddest part about it, you couldn’t hate him back…no matter how hard you tried. You would try telling yourself things; like that he doesn’t have a decent bone in his body. But your mind would quickly counter the idea. After rough times with him, you didn’t cry because he’d hurt your feelings, you’d cry because you sympathized with him. It was complicated.

You shook your head at your own thoughts, your eyes on Draco who was sitting on a bench outside the school. Crabbe and Goyle, who were his best friends, were seated beside him. They always were. They were all laughing, with Draco pointing at a younger Ravenclaw boy. You felt bad for the boy, but at least he hadn’t noticed you yet. Yes, you sympathized with him, but by no means did you enjoy the bullying.

“Shut up,” the boy yelled, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. You watched the scene unfold. Draco stopped laughing immediately and stood up from his seat, walking over to the boy who cowered in fear. He couldn’t have been any older than a third year. “Who do you think you’re talking to,” Draco spat angrily. Crabbe inserted himself in the scene, knocking the books out of the boy's hand. Draco burst out laughing again, watching the boy do nothing but shake under his stare. Don’t interfere, don't interfere, you repeated in your head. But of course, you gave in.

“Come on guys, leave him alone,” you said, pushing yourself off the cold brick of the wall. Draco’s eyes snapped to you in an instant, and he sneered. “Oh look who it is- Y/N, coming to save the day,” Crabbe and Goyle snickered, looking at each other. You roll your eyes and push past the two boys who seemed to barricade themselves into a stone wall. You bend down and pick up the boys' books that were now soiled. “Here- Walk away,” you whispered so only he could hear you. Upon getting his books, the boy was quick to turn on his heel and flee from the scene.

“So you think you’re some kind of hero now,” Draco asked, taking a few steps toward you. You stand your ground, even when his face was only a few inches from yours. With your eyes cast downward, you shake your head. “See, you’re just as pathetic as him,” you can hear the smirk in his voice. “That was a little boy, Draco,” you look up at his towering figure. You regretted it instantly. His smirk grew, “doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s a coward,” he said. You scoff, shaking your head. Before he could say anything else, you walked away, listening to his laughs in the background.

The rest of the day went on how it normally would, with the norm being Draco teasing you every chance he got. You didn’t really have any friends, and the ones you could consider your friends didn’t share the same classes. But the majority of your classes, you shared with Draco. You sat alone in the back of History of Magic, but you didn’t mind it. You walk over to your seat, and start unpacking your things from your bag. Draco suddenly took your notebook, flipping through its pages. “Draco seriously- Give it back,” you swat at the notebook in his hands, and he just turns the opposite way each time. You stopped trying after a few tries, just standing with your arms crossed. “Seriously? There’s nothing good in here,” he said. “No, there’s really not. I’m not that stupid,” you replied. “I wouldn’t be so sure,” he threw your notebook down on the table.

Draco would turn around randomly and snicker at you, his smirk only growing when he realized it ticked you off. You didn’t say anything though, it would only cause a bigger scene. You were relieved when the class was over, quick to be the first out.

You basically sat alone at dinner too. I mean, you sat with your acquaintances, but they never seemed to include you in the conversation. You couldn’t help but notice Draco, who was moving his food around on his plate, avoiding eating it. He was staring down at his plate, tuning out Crabbe and Goyle who were both talking into each ear. Something was wrong with him, obviously, and his friends clearly didn’t have the decency to notice. You felt sorry for Draco.

You kept your eye on Draco the whole break; you couldn’t help yourself. You could see the conflicted look on his face, with him not being very good at hiding it. You were sure you were staring for minutes, and positive whenever he looked up and met your eyes. His movements came to a stop, but his eyes didn’t leave yours.You feel your breath hitch in your throat at the intensity. The moment didn’t last for long though; Draco looked away annoyingly. You revert your eyes anywhere else, feeling a blush warm your cheeks. And then it was time to leave. Draco didn’t even bother to make a snarky comment; that’s how you knew something was up.

Draco seemed to be following behind everyone else, and so were you. After going up the stairs, and watching everyone else turn in their designated direction to go to their common rooms, you notice Draco going in the opposite direction. So naturally you got curious; and naturally you followed closely behind him. He turned the corner, now alone in the darkened hallway. You were so careful not to be too loud, nearly tip toeing. He went into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, which peaked your curiosity even more.

It was silent for a few moments, and you started to feel bad for being nosey. That is, until you heard sniffling. You heard two muffled voices, which had to have been Draco talking to Myrtle. No one else went into the bathroom. You couldn’t make out what the two were saying, it sounded like murmuring. But you still could hear Draco’s loud sniffles over everything else. And then the voices stopped.

You waited for a few moments to see if they would start talking again, and when they didn’t you shot into the empty bathroom without a thought. Draco stopped sniffling instantly, and looked up with big, wide eyes. He was sitting on the cold floor. Why was he sitting on the cold floor again? His eyes were red and puffy, and his cheeks had tear stains. “What the hell, Y/N! Did you follow me in here,” he asked, raising his voice and pointing at you. “No,” you look offended, “I mean yes I did.” He looked like he wanted to kill you. “Are you here to pity me some more,” he says. You shook your head.

Okay so Draco might have hated you because you caught him in a sentimental moment not too long ago. Clearly he was holding it against you. And that clicked in your mind all of a sudden when he said that.

Not too long ago (a few months ago) you found Draco in the girls bathroom just like this, crying. He seemed to have a favorite place to go when he was upset. “Draco? Are you okay,” you had asked, with pure concern in your words. He stood up instantly, “You won’t tell anyone about this, or i’ll- i’ll hex you,” he said through tears. So you promised not to tell anyone, and you still haven’t to this day. You had tried to comfort him that night, but he wouldn’t let you. You had known Draco was the stubborn type, even though he’d never interacted with you before that. You had always just been interested in him. Deep down you knew there were reasons why he acted the way he did. “I’m not going to let a Hufflepuff try and comfort me,” his face twisted in disgust. “So you can talk to Moaning Myrtle and not me, I assume, a stranger? Someone who doesn’t have anything to judge you off of,” you said, sliding down the wall to sit on the ground with him. He wiped his tears, trying to dry it up. “You wouldn’t understand,” he said. “I don’t want to leave you here alone though; when you’re like this,” you replied. And that’s how the rest of the night went, until Draco was good enough to go back to his room.

So now, in the present, you were conflicted. You didn’t want things to end up like last time. But one thing was for sure, you weren’t going to leave him like this again. “No one should suffer alone,” you said, watching him run his hands through his hair. “Oh please,” he rolled his eyes. You shrug your shoulders, and just like last time, slid down the wall beside him. He watches as you do so, his eyes locked with yours. “Help me to understand what’s wrong this time, Draco,” you say softly, watching his eyes widen again. He shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes. “I don’t know why you’re so stubborn- I just want to help you. But I’m not going to force you,” you start to get up. “No, wait,” he says, stopping you in your tracks. You waited for him, though. “I guess it’s just hard- uh- telling people how I feel… especially when it’s you,” he whispered the last part, but you heard him. “Why is that,” you ask, intrigued. “I just don’t know why you would want to do…this, whenever you’re my target,” he stammers. You shrug again, smiling to yourself. “I guess everyone needs a friend.”

#harry potter #draco malfoy x reader #draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy #draco malfoy angst

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secretlittlerandezvous · 8 hours ago

Text

Unexpectedly Ours - Alex Laferriere

Summary: Alex and Y/n have been dating for a while, but recently, Y/n has become distant, leaving Alex confused and hurt. When she finally reveals that she’s pregnant, Alex is overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty, unsure if he’s ready to be a father.

Words: 2148

The tension between Alex and Y/n had been building for days. It was subtle at first just little moments where Alex felt her pull away when he reached for her hand or when her responses seemed short and dry. He didn’t want to make it a bigger deal than it was, but it was hard to ignore. Y/n was always on his mind, and her silence felt like a wall he couldn’t break through.

They had been dating for a few months now, and things had been going well, at least that’s what he thought. But lately, something was different. She was withdrawing, and Alex didn’t know why. He tried calling her, texting her, even stopping by her apartment a few times, but it always felt like she was avoiding him, like there was something she wasn’t saying. He couldn’t help but feel frustrated and hurt.

He sat on the couch that night, mind racing with questions. What happened? Was it something he did? He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, but what? Was someone else in the picture? No, surely not, she wouldn’t do that to him.

Finally, that evening, the silence between them was too much to bear. Alex couldn’t take it any longer. He needed to know what was going on, and he needed to know now.

“Y/n, we need to talk,” Alex said, his voice firm but filled with concern.

Y/n stood in the kitchen, her back turned to him as she nervously dried the plate with towel in her hands. She had been dreading this moment all day, knowing it was coming. She wasn’t ready to face it, but she couldn’t avoid it forever.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you,” Alex continued, frustration creeping into his voice. “You’ve been avoiding me for days. What the hell happened, Y/n?”

"I… I don’t know how to say this," she whispered, her voice trembling. "But it’s not you, Alex. It’s me. I just… I need some time."

Alex felt his heart tighten. "Time? What do you mean by that?"

She finally turned to face him, her eyes full of guilt and hesitation. "I just don’t know if I’m ready for all of this… for us. I don’t know if I’m ready for the future, for all the things that come with it." Her voice broke, and she quickly looked away.

Alex’s confusion deepened. "You’re scaring me, Y/n. What are you talking about? We’ve been figuring this out together. I thought we were on the same page."

Y/n took a deep breath, trying to steady herself, but the weight of the words she was about to say felt too overwhelming. She had spent the last week avoiding him, hoping that somehow the distance would make the situation clearer, but it only made it worse. She had to face it, she knew that, but she wasn’t prepared for his reaction.

"I’m… pregnant, Alex," she said in a rush, her voice barely above a whisper.

The words hung in the air like a weight, suffocating them both. Alex froze. His mind went blank, and for a moment, he didn’t know how to react. His first instinct was disbelief, followed by panic, but he couldn’t even find the words.

“You’re… you’re what?” Alex whispered, his voice strained, the shock evident on his face.

“I’m pregnant,” Y/N repeated, her eyes searching his face for any sign of understanding, any sign that he would help her through this.

"Pregnant?" he repeated. "Wait, what? How… how could you…?"

Y/n’s heart sank as she saw the shock and confusion on his face. She knew this wouldn’t be easy, but she hadn’t expected this reaction. "I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t know what to do. I’m scared, Alex. I didn’t plan for this. I didn’t think it would happen."

Alex’s chest tightened as his thoughts spun wildly. This was… this was too much. He had just started to get to know Y/n, and now this? They were barely getting settled into their relationship, and now they had to think about something as big as this?

"I… I don’t know what to say," he muttered, his hand running through his hair, his thoughts racing. "This is too much. We’re still figuring each other out, and now… this? I don’t know if I can do this, Y/n. I don’t know if I’m ready for this kind of responsibility."

Tears welled in Y/n’s eyes as she took a step back. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

He also took a step back, the frustration boiling over. “You don’t get it, Y/n. This is too much. I can’t just drop everything and-” His voice cracked, but he pushed through. “I can’t be a father right now. I don’t know if I want to be part of this.”

Y/n’s eyes widened in disbelief. “What are you saying?” Her voice wavered with emotion, her chest tight with hurt.

Alex’s heart pounded in his chest, and his mind was a whirlwind. He wanted to say something to comfort her, but the words felt stuck in his throat. How could he comfort her when he wasn’t even sure what he was feeling?

"I… I didn’t think it would be like this," he said, frustration creeping into his voice. "I didn’t think you’d just… drop this on me. You said you weren’t ready. I’m not ready for this either."

Y/n’s voice cracked. "I’m sorry.” It was also she was able to say.

Alex’s face reddened with frustration. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do! This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t prepared for this, Y/n. I don’t know how to handle it.”

Y/n wiped away her tears, stepping back. “Well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before,” she shot back, her voice trembling. “Maybe you should’ve thought about it before we got this far, Alex. I’m not asking you to have it all figured out right now but I can’t carry this by myself.”

Alex shook his head, his expression hardening. His eyes focused on Y/n, but he couldn’t make sense of her expression. She looked scared, and all he felt was panic.

“I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for a baby. I don’t know if I can do this, and I don’t know if I want to.”

The words hit Y/n like a knife to the chest, taking breath out of her. She couldn’t breathe. She tried to hold it together, but the tears started to fall before she could stop them.

“You don’t know if you want to?” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “You don’t even want to try?”

Alex’s face softened for a moment, but it didn’t stop the pain in his chest. He wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her, but he was drowning in his own fear. How could he even comfort her when he had no idea how to comfort himself? “I don’t know what to do, Y/n. I might need space to figure this out.”

Y/n wiped away her tears, stepping back. “Fine,” she said, her voice cold. “If you need space, then I’ll give it to you.”

She grabbed her purse from the counter, turning to leave. She couldn’t be there anymore, not when everything felt like it was falling apart.

“Y/n, wait,” Alex called out, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t stay. Not when his words were still echoing in her mind. Not when she couldn’t tell if he cared about her anymore.

The door slammed behind her, and Alex stood there, feeling like the world had just collapsed around him. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if he could be a father. He didn’t know if he was ready for any of this.

Days turned into a week, and Alex hadn’t heard from Y/n. His phone was silent, her absence hanging over him like a cloud. He tried reaching out, sending texts, calling, but she didn’t respond. He didn’t blame her. He had pushed her away when all she needed was his support.

His mind was a mess. He spent long nights sitting on the couch, trying to process everything, but nothing made sense. He had said things he didn’t mean, but now it was too late and he could never take it back. He was given the space he asked for, but it wasn’t helping. He wondered if the space had any affect on Y/n.

One evening, as Alex sat alone in the dark, his phone buzzed with a message from Y/n. His heart skipped as he quickly opened it.

Y/N: I don’t know what I’m doing, Alex. I’m scared. But I can’t do this alone. I need you. I still want us to figure this out.

When he arrived, Y/n was sitting on the couch, her face tired, her eyes red from crying. She looked up as he walked in, her expression unreadable.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said, his voice thick with emotion. “I’ve been an idiot. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was scared, and I let that control everything. But I don’t want to lose you.”

Y/n didn’t speak at first, just stared at him, as if trying to read him. “I don’t know if I can just forget what you said, Alex. You said you didn’t know if you wanted to be a part of this and if you wanted to be a father.”

“I was scared,” he said, his voice breaking. “But I don’t want to be scared anymore. I want to be with you. I want to be there for you and our baby. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I want to try. If that’s what you want, if you want to keep this baby and,” he paused. “Whatever you want to do, I want to be with you.”

Y/n took a deep breath, her eyes softening. “You’re scared and I’m scared. But I know if you’re with me then it’ll be all better.”

Alex nodded, stepping forward and taking her hand. “We’ll figure this out, together.”

Months passed, and as the days grew warmer, the thought of their baby becoming a reality settled deeper into Alex’s heart. He had his moments of doubt, but each time he looked at Y/n, he felt a sense of calm. They were building something together, and despite everything that had happened, he was ready to embrace it.

And then, one late night, the day arrived.

Y/n’s contractions started in the evening, sharp and quick. He had just returned home from the game. She gripped Alex’s hand, her breath coming in short bursts as she tried to focus on each breath, her mind overwhelmed with the pain of it all.

“You’re doing great, babe,” Alex whispered, holding her hand tightly as they rushed to the hospital. He could see the fear in her eyes, and he wished more than anything that he could take it all away for her.

They barely made it to the delivery room, and the moments that followed were a blur of pain, anticipation, and worry. Alex stayed by her side, whispering encouraging words, trying to be her rock even when his own fear threatened to drown him.

And then, in the early hours of the morning, after what felt like an eternity, they heard it. The first cry of their baby.

Tears filled Alex’s eyes as he looked at Y/n, his hand on her cheek, his voice trembling. “You did it,” he whispered, his heart overwhelmed with love and awe. “We have a baby.”

Y/n smiled weakly, exhaustion written across her face, but her eyes shone with a joy that made everything worth it. She reached out to hold their newborn, the tiny life that had changed everything between them.

Alex looked down at their child, his heart bursting with emotions he couldn’t put into words. He had been scared, terrified even, but now, in this moment, he felt an overwhelming sense of love and connection.

This was their family.

“We’re a family,” Y/n whispered, her voice soft as she looked up at him.

Alex nodded, the weight of it all settling in as he kissed her forehead. All the fear, all the uncertainty - they had faced it, and they had made it through.

#alex laferriere #alex laferriere x reader #alex laferriere one shot #alex laferriere imagine #alex laferriere writing #alex laferriere fanfic #la kings #la kings one shot #la kings imagine #la kings writing #la kings x reader #nhl #nhl writing #nhl players imagine #nhl one shot #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #wasn’t requested but I felt like writing this

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pokckygamewithbatman · 1 day ago

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Parental Figures in Arcane, and How S2 Both Maintains and Hurts this Aspect of The Show

The kinship that Zaunite "families" feel for each other is shown countless times throughout the show. Claggor and Mylo aren't Vander's kids either, but he loves them just as much as the girls, and the Zaunites who had been imprisoned and were rescued by Jinx in S2 immediately want closeness to her. When Jinx cares for Isha they never address or label their relationship to one another, or to us. They're all on the same side, and it doesn't matter if they're related or not, or even if they're close. They're all fighting and surviving together.

Arcane also made it clear how important parental figures are, but they didn't touch on the importance of titles in that relationship between a parent and their children because that was never important. There was always something more pressing happening. Only at the very end could someone admit their love and bestow a title as sacred and important as "dad" or "daughter".

So why do Vi and Jinx both call Vander their dad so easily in S2?

In broad, broad terms, the thing I don’t like about the lack of nuance of Vander as a father figure in S2 is because of the immense nuance in S1. In S1 Vander is never referred to by Vi or Powder/Jinx as “dad.” He is a guardian, definitely, but when they’re young they’re not yet ready to accept him as a father, which is probably in part because of the nature of Zaun; when you’re all trying to survive together and everyone’s bringing whatever they can to the table (almost as equals, even if some are literally children), parental figures and titles of that sort are lost, especially in this case when Vander and the girls aren’t blood related. They may still remember their biological father (though he's never mentioned) and aren't ready to replace that person in their life. They at most see him as a close uncle or family friend of their mother. And from this point up until he dies that doesn’t change. They never call him dad in S1, and that really helped the theme of "love transcends time and class" so why does he gain this title in S2 after they haven’t seen him for 10 years(?) and thought he’d been dead this whole time. No extra bonding happened between the girls and Vander, and there was never any indication that their relationship with him, and how they felt about it had changed from a beloved father figure and guardian, to "dad".

Sure, they miss him, and you could assume that in a flurry of emotion they spring the title onto him, but complexity, detail and subtly are where the show really shines, so why did they feel the need to straight up tell us how the girls feel about Vander instead of just showing their love and affection for him?

This happens in S1, Jinx feels a deep connection with Silco, but only shows it through her actions; helping him in his mission, hugs, cradling his face when he’s dying. And he in turn only refers to her as his daughter right before he dies, yk “you’re my daughter, I’d never forsake you”, which he says in conclusion to his decision that he'd never give her up, even for the freedom of Zaun. That line finally signifies to us that she is the most important thing in Silco's life. Before this scene the audience could still be on unsure whether he'd actually be willing to give her up for his dream. She's literally his new dream. Throughout the rest of the show he shows his love through his actions; he trusts her with administering his medicine even though he's fully capable of doing it himself, but he knew she needed to feel useful (and it's really cute that after a while he's incapable of doing it himself because he's let her do it for so long), he made her a big part of his plan to free Zaun because he had faith in her abilities and knew she wanted to help, he keeps the fact that Vi is alive from her in order to protect her (don't come at me with that "manipulator Silco" talk, he also thought Vi was dead, and when he found out he didn't tell Jinx because he saw how much it hurt her to even remember Vi and think about her. He reminds her of their goal and gives to a task to help keep her mind off the hurt she's feeling). Although we as the audience are like “mk they’re clearly father and daughter” it doesn’t feel like the writers are shoving it down our throats which is why it’s really impactful when Silco finally says it in the last episode.

After Jinx picks up Isha, or after Isha inserts herself into Jinx's life, a shift between "older sister/guardian" to "parent" happens after Jinx saves Isha from Stillwater. When they hug and Isha starts crying we see on Jinx's face the realization: "oh. She's the most important thing in the world to me" but the show never has to tell us that. Isha clearly has lost a parental figure already because of her insistence on keeping her miner's hat, and Jinx also recently lost her father figure, Silco, so they both know the meaning of losing someone they love, but don't need to label themselves as "mother" and "daughter" for the audience. And it evident that Isha meant as much as she did to Jinx because of how much her death crushed what was once an outgoing and confident Jinx. Once again, they never say it, Isha never calls Jinx mom (even in her own way (you could argue that she actually does in the prison scene before Jinx is attacked by Warwick, but even if she does that's a valid place to bestow that title: her guardian is in danger and Isha can't get to her, so out of desperation she calls her "mama", but this is never mentioned again so it's just as likely that Isha was just screaming)) and she doesn't need to.

While it doesn’t ruin the dynamic between Vander and the girls in S2 and they don’t say it a ton, it makes their relationship feel less deep. Instead of them not knowing who they are to each other, or not caring because they just love each other so much, they instead bestow a title that pinpoints their degree of love for Vander. They spell it out for us, ‘he is our father, and that’s why we love him. Period’ and I think that’s harmful to how we’re supposed to view these characters. Vi and Jinx aren't ones to give out such titles easily, Vi is hesitant to admit her love for Cait, and Jinx is hesitant to call Vi her sister, and yet this man who they haven't seen for so long, who initially tried to kill them, gains this title as though he's been guiding and protecting them the whole time?

This is not Vander slander, let me assure you, I believe just as fiercely as the next person that he is their dad, that man is a father, but the fact that they casually through the title around so easily is baffling to me.

Let me just put this picture in your minds: How impactful would it have been if the first time we get a glimpse of how much they truly love each other is when Vander gets his humanity back and the first thing he says is "don't touch my daughter". Remember that scene? Imagine how much more it would've hit if the audience and the girls were still unsure of how they wanted to call Vander and how he thought of them. If they only started calling him dad after getting like, confirmation that he felt the same about them and always had. Vi and Jinx, who are terrified of being wrong, and choosing wrong, should not have given Vander the title of "dad" when he was Warwick.

This is just a little nitpick of mine, and I've never seen anyone else talk about this, but I feel like it's small details like this that made the second season more... shallow?

#arcane #arcanse season 2 #vander #warwick #silco #jinx #vi #isha #seriously imagine how insane it would be if they were more careful with their dialogue in every instance in S2?#they're so careful with titles #exhibit a: partners #imagine if jayce and viktor called each other “friends” or “brothers” or “lovers”#or even “science partners”#where would be the fun in that?#that ambiguous title is everything to me #because it doesn't matter #they just care about each other so much #imagine being subtle #good father vander #good father silco #<- this is my passion btw #i will die on this hill #HE LOVED HER SO MUCH IF I HEAR ONE “but he lied to Jinx for his own gain”#LITERALLY WHERE #btw yes this is S2 slander don't get me wrong i loved it too #but also can we talk about issues we have with a show without being dogpiled by warriors who would suck the dicks of everyone involved

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blankticket · 1 day ago

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Even with his face turned away from Vash, hands visibly tense as he draws his knees closer to himself. Shoulders square in, tense, shake, go still. There's only so much he can do to hide the hurt.

" … You still wanna call yourself the worst now?"

A half-beat of consideration. Then the hooded figure's shoulders shake again, head lifting up, but it's more of an impression of laughter than anything.

"Sure. Gotta be, if I'm bringing all of this outta you." It's the same principle as always: whatever pain he was feeling must be negligible compared to what his predecessor had obviously endured for decades on end, alone. And despite all the lecturing from just now, his own pain still felt unimportant. If anything, all that ire justified the thought. It's this line of thinking that prompts the predictable brick wall into continuing, anyway:

"The point of talkin' about it with me earlier than this isn't about how I would've felt about it, whatever I'd have to say about it. Of course I'm not entitled to that."

The point was that Legato Bluesummers would have been important to anticipate, should he arrive to Spirale. The point was that he wanted to be there for Vash, because he cared about how he felt. He didn't want to leave him alone in that suffering; not when it's his responsibility to understand him. But maybe—oh—maybe the other guy really never felt that way. Never needed him for any of it.

A mitten clumsily comes up to the opening of the hood, only to fall back into hugging at his knees instead. "And no, I didn't think you'd have all the answers. I just thought you'd wanna…"

Want to find them together? So what, the other Vash wouldn't feel alone? So that they could fool themselves into thinking they were doing others right, "protecting" them from problems caused by them to begin with?

Why would he want to do that, with someone who's so eager to die, someone who clearly doesn't know what he's talking about?

The younger Plant lapses into a silent trance then, quietly letting all the accusations soak in deeper. It'd do them both good for him to quit talking and pick himself apart for once, and to quit from putting any more words in the older Vash's mouth. Maybe it'd encourage the other guy to lay into him some more, while he was at it.

What the hell was he thinking, pretending to do all of this for Vash's sake, for everyone's sake? He hasn't helped one bit; worse than doing nothing, he's evidently only reopened old wounds and wasted time. Chosen to be dishonest around everyone he'd promised to keep true to. He's forced Vash to relive memories he wasn't ready to handle, feel things he wasn't ready to share; been unfair to him, over and over again. How could anyone look at what he's done now, and stay fooled into thinking it was to protect anyone?

God—how stupid could he get? No wonder Vash hated him this much.

He was right to air out every bit of criticism now, to look at the wrong Vash's insistence of humility and vulnerability, and see it for what it really is: childish embarrassment in getting caught for all his incompetence, trying to do things nobody asked him to do, and not even getting that right. Vash would've been better off if this worthless edition of himself had just…

"I'm sorry." It's said softly, but even then, he feels disgusted at the way he has to steal the other's voice to say it. "I should've known. I'm sorry for hurting you this bad."

★ --;; "Talk like what?"

It comes out bitter, mean. An angry old dog protecting the wound in its side. "Like I don't have all the answers?" He still sounds just as tired and wrung out as he feels, as though the nervous energy had all at once seeped through the soles of his feet down into the freezing pavement. All that's been left in its wake is the simmering pain that's been there for years, the anger that lies draped across it. " 'Cause I don't know how or when you got that in your head, but I've never had them."

Even without the denial of space, Vash wouldn't have gone to sit back down. There's a wall there, now; maybe one that had always been there. Had definitely always been there in some capacity, its corporeality shifting in and out of existence. Playing pretend that it hadn't helped either of them.

"And now you're here puttin' words in my mouth 'cause it's what you wanna hear again. That's never what I meant!" The more he talks the more that misplaced resentment and shame sits hot at the back of his neck, behind his ears, burns in his chest. At come point his fists had clenched at his sides.

"I'm mad 'cause you keep doin' stupid shit on my behalf and brushin' it off, 'cause god forbid I try and care about your wellbeing! You told me you don't wanna die, but you sure as hell don't know how ta' show it!"

"And then every time I try an' get it through your head it's either like talkin' to a brick wall or you gettin' mad at me for tryin' ta' help you in the first place! Mad at me for not carin' and then mad at me when I do! And I know I messed up by not talkin' about it! I know!"

The words coming out his mouth, the accusations being thrown— they don't make Vash feel any better. All they do is make that horrible feeling churning through him feel that much worse. But it's like a dam's burst open, the flow impossible to stop.

"No, I didn't want you to resent me for not talkin' about it— but even if I had, what would you have said? That I shouldn't have done it? I *know* that! I live with that every day! But he wouldn't listen, I couldn't just let him go and kill Liv after Nick had just—"

The words catch in his throat. At some point his entire body had tensed back up, muscles held in place so tightly even though the one who had made them that way wasn't physically there to keep then locked and frozen. It takes a good few moments of silence, steam rising up from heavy breaths, before his jaw and throat finally loosen enough to start croaking again.

" ... You still wanna call yourself the worst now?" he asks quietly. " 'Cause I'm tired of pretendin' to go along with it."

#amoirsetpacis 19

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dairyfreenugget · 10 months ago

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(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)

Hey hey hey

May I interest you in

(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)

Teehee

#thylacines can talk #faaf au #i love this au very yummy. a very fun twist on how Flower's dynamic with their parents would progress afterwards #the vessels live but the void exits their bodies in quite a violent manner (extreme pain and literally throwing up an entire person worth of #void). Flower was on guard duty and theyre found barely conscious in a pool of rapidly evaporating void. passes out seconds later #PK also had the displeasure of experiencing extene pain and burning as void forced its way out through his skin <3 And his moulds all melted #and evaporated. after the initial shock wears off theyre hit with “Oh No #the vessel“ and rush to find them. Well somebody else was already looking for the royal pair about this #Flower wakes up dazed and in pain in their father's workshop. their stomach hurts their throat burns and they feel lightheaded. the entire #place is considerably brighter than they remember and in they can hear two faint voices in the background but theyre too preoccupied with #examining their now pure white hand in shock to focus on anything else. until they hear their mother say “My wyrm they're awake” and #suddenly their parents are by their side. Now the two have no idea what void leaving their body might have done to them. Are they still #hollow? are they still dead? do they understand anything are they sentient? or was what was done pernament even without the void? do they #have the mind of a child if their sentience was restored? or do they remember anything? So WL stays by their side and helps them sit up #while their father goes to grab his tools. She's trying to keep them calm and comfort them but theyre still too disoriented to pay her much #attention. Until their father checks their breathing and they yelp audibly from the cool metal contacting their skin and suddenly they seem #much more alert. theyve never experienced true coldness before. PK quickly apologises and tries to be gentler with them. Theyre breathing #properly and they have a heartbeat. And he just pauses for a long while just. listening to their heart beating. Many emotions to be had #after the exam's over he asks them point blank how theyre feeling. And Flower looks up at him still seeming a little disoriented. and then #they lower their hand to their stomach and mutter 'My tummy hurts...a-and my throat burns'. It's to be expected after the way the void #left their body. so he goes to grab them some water and meds and they also ask for food and a mirror. And after he returns they just stare #at themself in the mirror and pull on their bangs for a while then blurt out 'I have your eyes' when PK asks if everything's okay. And he #and he almost chokes up as he replies 'Yeah...Yeah you do'. Flower eventually spins a lie that they remember everything but its all distant #and blurry. Like they were not aware until now. They figured it'd be better to not break their hearts #And now the three have to figure out how to be a family while PK is also scrambling to find a new solution to the infection #oops i meant to only give a brief rundown in the tags which is why it was in the tags. but i got too invested KDHDKFB

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waywardsalt · 1 year ago

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ive spent like 20 minutes trying to world this eloquently but i give up; im a big fan of linebeck just. not being capable of watching over kids not the person to be the guardian of a group of young people he struggles to take care of himself at times and has so much shit going on that it takes about one conversation with oshus for the old man to realize that this guy is. not doing great

#this was gonna be like. a jokey post at first juxtaposing oshus’ expectations vs reality with linebeck but im too emotionally drained #so real linebeck talk in the tags bc idk if ive actually talked much abt like. the specific as on why. iwrite and see him the way i do #likr. off the bat i put him at like 19 in ph and im too fucking tired and just. done rn to justify that like whatever kill me if you wish.#like. hes. been throught a lit hes been abused neglected used ignored hurt ridiculed violated deceived hes so fucking tired #hes worn down over the course of ph it causes him to finally like. express his anguish over what hes been theough its cathartic #hes getting pushed but talking to oshus and being around link loosens him up and he fucking. cries properly yknow #he cries about everything and the last bit of ph hes kind of an emotional wreck but hes finally letting himself feel all that shit #he cries he struggles to articulate himself he has a violent public meltdown as he becomes fed up with his reputation #and it all culminates in bellumbeck just. being a really raw examination of what hes been through and how he feels and what to do now #he hates people he has people he wants to kill people he wanted to kill but after bellumbeck its just. hes tired. hes processed everythjng #and then he needs the post ph crew and everyone they meet along the way to just. be a fucking support system for the first time ever #like post ph hes rhe captain he runs the ship he keeps everyone in line he can do that. but hes softer more vulnerable more self doubting #hes kinder and more hesitant but trying new things and being more openly passionate abt his interests #and he keeps working through his trauma he finds out what else it causes problems for and everyone. supports him #hes not capable of like. being any kind of parental figure to link in ph his perspective on like. how to handle kids is fucked #because his perspective on what a normal childhood should look like is kind of a mess #his perspective on relationships is murky on love on adventure on self expression but post ph hes just. free. tired but free #he manages to take naps the group helps him eat properly he learns his physical boundaries and actually does what he loves #idk. im just. man idk. its still measy but like. my version of linebeck is. i really hate the idea that its so out of character its not him #like. idfk what to even say abt that. idfk what ‘in character’ looks like when you hc a character to be masking in canon #when you hc them to be lying and covering things up and just. subdued bc theyre working on stuff #that they lie and exaggerate their own traits on purpose but let the truth through some cracks like what rhe fuck then #i hate it bc i dont see anyone else think of linebeck anything like this so im scared im fucking wrong somehow #im tired. i recently learned that one of my cats has been burrowing under and chilling under a blanket we cover a couch with #its very cute

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bylertruther · 2 years ago

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the brainrot is so bad that i'm sitting here trying to watch the godfather just thinking to myself "damn..... how can i make a byIer au outta dis... 🤔📝"

#karen's actress is italian... maybe karen is too... she's a civilian but mike gets roped into it bc ted is more involved as an accountant.#her family loves him and ted loves money and being able to provide for his family and all that Macho Family Man^tm stuff and #sure karen wants mike to do big things—bigger than just messing around with his friends—but she isn't sure that having him get #chummy with her family is the right idea. mike does it anyway bc it's what he's Supposed To Do and he's Getting Older and karen #thinks well... okay... if this is what you want... ❤️ and mike just nods and agrees like he always does bc thts easier than speaking up #or trying to figure out what the hell to do after uni and Much less scary than working on that book he's been working on since forever.#will's a civilian ofc he gets brought along to mike's family things bc mike wants the company but he doesn't Like that world and the #way they look at him. whenever lonnie used to get fired from whatever job he was working at then he'd end up doing ''favors''#for one of the other families and even though will's nothing like his father and he and his brother and his mom aren't even remotely #involved in that kind of life he still has his last name and it's a brand tht sticks. smth smth the romeo n juliet vibes of it all....#in this au maybe hopper hasn't been reformed bc there's no tragedy to pull him out of that so maybe he's on the wheelers' payroll #and he has a daughter tht they want to introduce to mike... smth smth mike going to will's apartment in the dead of night to get #patched up.. smth smth mike taking el to things instead of will.. smth smth will and mike getting into A Big Fight bc will doesn't #want to see mike continue to get hurt or lose himself in this world and become this person that he doesn't even recognize anymore #and mike starts goading him like oh why do you care so much huh blahblah and they've been dancing around this all their lives #but it finally comes out and it doesn't fix anything bc will doesn't want This mike and mike can't stand the way will looks at him now and #will storms out after having said the unspeakable.. goes somewhere and gets caught in the crossfire.. cue the body pulled from the quarry #parallel when el calls him immediately after she finds out from hopper and there's a horrible few hours where they don't kno if will's #gonna pull thru. he does ofc much to their surprise.. wake up calls n apologies are eventually had... hurt/comfort ensues.. mike talks #to karen and opens up for the first time ever bc they've gotten closer now.. smth smth um . gay people 🫶#mike in suits n gloves + will learning to not ask questions + el seeing tht will's apartment looks more like it's will-And-mike's #apartment bc there's so much of him and his things there and he always walks in n moves around like he owns the place +#will's hands shaking as he tries to tend to mike and he manages to keep it together until mike's all patched up but when he turns around #to clean up his shoulders are shaking and mike jus comes up behind him n hugs him through it bc he knows this hurts will more than it hurts #him (which is saying smth bc mike's blood is literally all over will's hands n dinner table rn so like)#SOOOOO self-indulgent but idc im free . (<- said thru gritted teeth and while closing my eyes so i don't have 2 look at this post)#also i say brainrot but i think tht has bad connotations now. i am just an Enjoyer a Lover a Scholar an Enthusiast one might even say..#mine

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kittytheartist · 3 days ago

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Hello! Hm, I very much disagree and would like to give my input.

Let's start from the top, you seem to think Akane is a very possessive guy, like he needs Aoi in his "possession" which is..a far cry from the way he shows his love

But you said that he stopped listening and started acting similarly to what he said he hated about Aoi, but he was listening and asking questions, he was worried about her and trying to understand her, he hates Aoi for pitying herself, running from her problems, outcasting herself and never trying to understand people because she shuts them out

It took a turn towards making actions instead of talking because Aoi literally attacked him, although she definitely wouldn't have under normal circumstances (such as NOT BEING DRUGGED OFC) But nonetheless he does not pin her down in a way of claiming her, instead he puts himself in front of her and claims his love once more

Aoi is doubting him and he doesn't understand so he tries to reaffirm his love, which is what he knows best, it may not be the most healthy but Akane has always used his love as his motive, drive and reason

He's protective because he has seen her get bullied and pushed around just because she is pretty and nice and Akane can't stand when someone doesn't stick up for the themselves so he chose to protect Aoi no matter what, purely because he loves her and wants her to be safe

This is why it was so hard on him when he lost Aoi, not because he has an intense need to possess, keep, or seek out some sort of relationship with her but because he has always been there to protect her, he has always comforted Aoi in the fact he would be there and love her...what happens when he can't keep his word? Aoi is his world and even after the severance he had no cool down on trying to figure out how to get Aoi back

Akane constantly tells Aoi he loves her not because he needs to convince himself no, but because he genuinely wishes to express his affection regardless, he doesn't need Aoi to say she loves him aloud he just wishes for her to know he loves her and always will be there. No he does not need to fulfill some need for a fantasy Aoi or even just a person to love him he's just content with however Aoi likes their relationship. That is verryyy different from staying in some wonderland dreaming of some Aoi he needs to possess.

Akane grew a strong attachment to Aoi during childhood and that has definitely fucked him over to a degree but not in a way where he just needs "Aoi" or however he invisions her but in a sense that he values Aoi's preferences than his own

Namely when Aoi and him were walking through the tunnel to get out of the far shore and she couldn't see the light so she was sharing her own interests and apologizing once she asked for his own interests he said he just likes her, that's not exactly what she wanted but it truly hurt her because she'll never be able to say it back (that is, until they reunite which she was not expecting) but this is what their relationship lacks

It lacks Akane, it may be a humorous side piece but the reality is he really does change what he does and how he presents himself because Aoi mentions it, it's less of a need for validation and more of taking your love and appreciation for someone too far, obsessive is definitely a word that could fit

When you love someone you love their interests, but Akane seems to take it farther into wanting to become those interests. It's not like he has no opinion for himself, quite the opposite but even when he hates the supernatural in after school once Aoi was interested in some occult type games he started preparing immediately

Now... there was no gaslighting in chapter 69

Aoi was trying to run away and kill herself, Akane got stabbed which of course would make you tense and idk about you but if I felt like I'd die if that wound's messed with I wouldn't be super patient also Aoi will not listen to him, she's too caught up in this idea she has of herself and other people

Let's start.... Akane wakes up and Aoi patched him up, he proposes like usual but Aoi says yes.

Aoi continues to explain that she's nothing like how he views her but that's not true..she's just been too focused on isolating herself to notice, that's also why their relationship remained stagnant and superficial. They both had the idea that they know the other better than they think but rather because they never communicated they're both still unaware of some particular feelings

But she won't let him speak. She places herself in this glass box that no one else can reach

He needs to get her attention and this seemed to be the only way he could pull her out of this mindset right away (here he also admits that he had no clue she felt that way)

So he says what would truly get her. "I hate you" ...He says this because he knows this makes Aoi sad, it shows she cares because of the memory he recalls during their childhood where he said he hated her during an argument and started crying, for the first time during their friendship

He knows how that saddens her and sure, it's not the best way to go about it and he says he lied but it's completely reasonable to hate a part of the person you love, especially if it's self destructive.

Akane never said any of that out of anger, nor because he was growing tired of some sort of need for Aoi. He said all of that because Aoi was trying to leave and she wouldn't listen. It wasn't because he was angry at her or himself but trying to get through to her was not working with the soft talk and they couldn't stay here forever, Akane's injury would only get worse and if she continued to try and leave it'd only be a back and forth, Aoi needed that reality check

Truthfully Akane has never been good at words or comforting, nor has he and Aoi had a straightforward way of communication but they understand each other so well that the odd way they go about it is not lacking in words

When he asks if she really does hate him or like him even just a little bit and instead of a response Aoi rests in Akane's hand, that was enough

Akane ends it by saying there's no need for words as he's known her since childhood.

The reality is Aoi does love him and they both understand that, that is also why he continued to confess no matter how much she hides or runs from the fact. He accepts that she is overall cowardly and doesn't want to face her feelings but would rather spend every day telling her he loves her.

Even after they're close to official (still complicated) Akane waits, he will always wait for Aoi even if she never verbalizes it she will also always love him and always has

In the new timeline she even loves Akane and wishes to be with him instead of her engagement with Teru.

You talk of Akane like Aoi's speech is spot on when they both got each other wrong, no matter how right they thought they were

Aoi wrongly believed Akane to be a liar and just like everyone else, she thought Akane only saw her for what she showed him but Akane knew her far more than she ever knew, her own problems and ego in the way of her judgement

Akane chose to say some harsh words whether they were true or not he still got it wrong. The way he handled things was a temporary salutation he thought would last when it only made Aoi lose faith in him more, although he did not know she wished to leave it all behind or that she wants nothing to do with relationships (because she is too scared to face it, she'd rather run and never return) he still made it worse

They both lied and hid secrets thinking the other never knew when they did, it may be their curse to know each other so well.

After their fight, their reunion, Akane changes his behavior after they have cleared up their misunderstanding, it doesn't have to be superficial anymore and he knows Aoi does not fancy the cheery proposals, their relationship has deepened and it all feels more intimate and caring

Although Akane was never aversive to being real with Aoi she always had her walls up and nothing was talked about so of course it was more surface level...now the gentle care and communication brings a new warmth to their relationship (might I point out if he really did feel a need to control her well being why does he let jer express and feel her feelings?? He comforts and trusts her and what she thinks is better such as keeping her hand a secret. He let's Aoi work it out with Nene...never forcing her, he does nothing to force and/or control her way of behaving and decisions)

If he really did just want some sort of "doll" or Aoi for looks he wouldn't feel the need to understand, love and protect her instead he wishes to work it out and change whatever needs changing

He truly does love and want the real Aoi

Loving the Aoi of this timeline does not mean he will accept and want any idea he gets of "Aoi"

He still sees the Aoi he's always loved in her, you think it would be an immediate differentiation on how he treats Aoi? In his mind not much of their lives would have been changed because you'd think they didn't have much to do with the timeline becoming a mess, that is not the reality and it pains him to be apart from Aoi and even wonder if this timeline is better for her

After all their communication they finally made it to a point where they were happy but then this happens..the pain of wondering whether the timeline where you're pining for your love is better for everyone else.

This arc we have gotten an IMMENSE amount of sad Akane panels, because his love is engaged to Teru of all people who seems to be the only person he genuinely thinks could win over Aoi (even though Aoi does not like him Akane sees Teru as the only threat when it comes to liking Aoi) he's not acting possessive in any way, not even close to toxic.

Akane's confession here is wildly different from his previous confessions

We can see how sincere he feels here, what in this reads possessive😭

I'll stop here if anyone has any questions I'm open and ready to make a part 2

The way Akane stopped questioning Aoi's behavior in the shinigami arc and just started acting.

For Akane to discuss the problem with words through his mouth? Yeah, lol, not far removed from the Aoi he condemns, he's also a big inventor, he's also stuck in his own theory and sees confirmation of it in everything. He doesn't need to find out Aoi's reasons and get to know her better, he consoles himself with the fact that he knows her better than others, he quickly drained the conversation about "what the hell is going on, Aoi, why are you doing this, I'm worried about you" to stupidly keep Aoi to himself. And what's wrong with that, it would seem that not wanting to let Aoi die is normal, but it's just _how_ he did it.

I believe in Akane's trauma now more than in anything else. He needs Aoi to support the trauma, so why talk to her normally? He needs to stupidly get her, so that she would be in his field of vision, in his complete control, that's why he was trying to get her every day. That's why he thinks that they simply need to become a romantic couple, and not just be together as friends, Akane needs to get whole Aoi completely.

But as soon as she suddenly moved away from him more than a hundred meters - he got stuck, he didn't even want to figure it out, Aoi shouldn't leave him. So he grabbed her, said all sorts of things out of anger, because he was tired of himself, tired of watching her, pretending that everything was fine, all his emotions were directed at her, she could really start to irritate him. And he finally pushed her to be his.

Aoi doesn't need to answer Akane that she likes him, he will convince himself of this, the danger has passed, Aoi will not leave him anywhere, and the rest is unimportant. "The Aoi in your head", Teru is right here lol, Akane is the only one playing this game, he literally doesn't need the real Aoi for this, he doesn't need to ask her opinion, he will make it up himself, Aoi is enough to just lie like a doll in his arms. Aoi wanted to leave and so he snapped, didn't let her, but what happened between them won't help them at all, Akane is still feeding this unhealthy need to control Aoi's well-being, Aoi doesn't understand what's going on. I feel sorry for Aoi the most here. As if she is some kind of evil temptress, or a masochist with a crush on her yandere friend, she is maximally intimidated by other people's behavior and confused.

Just as Kou must learn to live and let go of the dead, so Akane must learn to live apart from Aoi. It's a painful topic, he is not ready to let it go, but he should. But instead of moving towards healthy separation, we have 69 with gaslighting (Akane gaslights both Aoi and himself lol). Instead of some therapy, he only feeds his anxiety and the opinion that without it the world will collapse 😭 but wow, it's romantic

#Aoi is not a victim to her yandere friend or whatever #she's never been some damsel who doesn't know what goes on around her #she may pretend to be confused or ignore things but she's no victim to manipulation #tbhk analysis #this ended up shorter than I thought #may have cut a bit but this feels good

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