#i really hope this person is just a 15 year old edgelord. i see way too many adults like this tho

[mitragynines]

imagine if someone said this shit about any other group of human beings lol some people are this website are actually sociopathic. of course parents should stop their kids from doing this but why the fuck are you blaming the kid for their natural curiosity? most people tried doing this as children

[demonsfate]

anonymous sent . . .

I don't blame you for not going on r/Tekken anymore. that place just really does have an agenda against jin kazama. like what the fuck do they want? i keep seeing them say they're okay with jin being a villain in tekken 6 because he was a "boring generic anime edgelord emo", but then they also say he should be punished and xiaoyu should kill him then leave him for some other guy like claudio/hwoarang/steve. like they can acknowledge that kazuya was put in a bad light to make heihachi look good but not jin?! do they want miguel to kill someone he cares about (hwoarang and xiaoyu)? what do they want? the internet can mostly acknowledge when characters are ooc (ex. captain america saying hail hydra) but not jin. if jin was an evil smug arrogant narcisstic asshole with a large ego like the rest of his family then that would be boring as fuck (and also beg the question of what was the point of replacing their precious kazuya mishima back in tekken 3 if it's just another evil mishima). like all tekken fans seem to want is some fifty shades of grey romance between kazuya and jun or some edgy groundbreaking villain protag story like megamind starring kazuya. sometimes i think about how things would've been if tekken 6 scenario campaign never happened, or what if the fans got what they wanted and actually have miguel kill jin. then at least maybe i'll finally get to look at jin kazama stuff without seeing people unironically compare jin to h*tler or p*tin. that redditor sadly isn't the only person who compared jin to h*tler. my sister is a rabid narusasu/sasuke uchiha fangirl who hates seeing people compare her precious man sasuke to a character she doesn't like. she constantly keeps calling jin "h*tler kazama" whenever i played tekken and cheered when i won against him. she says "jin never suffered what sasuke suffered. when sasuke was only 7 he lost his whole family and got abused/tortured by his brother. kazuya also had a rough childhood, jin got to have a happy life for 15 years. jin's trauma is that he lost his mom who isn't even dead, that's not real trauma like sasuke and kazuya". she even prayed at church and wished upon a shooting star for jin's va isshin chiba to get terminal cancer and die (then again it's not just jin's va she also got angry at jun esaka and chie nakamura because sakura haruno is a "whiny crybaby useless pink banshee who got in the way of narusasu". she used to want both chie nakamura and jun esaka to die too). jin isn't even my favorite character in the series, but it's insane that so many people in this fanbase have such malice towards him over one fucking game where he was ooc as fuck (and street fighter x tekken too i guess...at least other non-canon crossovers like project x zone don't potray him like this). that'd be like captain america being hated forever over one comic book where he was ooc and the people at marvel even admit it. seriously, when will tekken fandom ever stop just being so fucking weird with jin kazama i'm at my limit.

sorry if i got too emotional there, i just had to let my thoughts out now. i hope you have a good day.

sorry for taking a while to respond to this! but you definitely know some wild people in your life haha (including your sister, no offense!) it kinda reminds me of how people used to act when i was a kid. when i was a kid, i was in a lotta spaces with other kids that acted just absolutely wild about their favorite characters and ships just like this. buuuut... granted, we were all like 10 years old lol. luckily i don't really run into people like this anymore. (the rabid fans that go beyond obsessive hating) most of the time, i just see the annoying ppl who are like "JIN IS A BAD CHARACTER. JIN IS A WAR CRIMINAL. KAZUYA SHOULD BE MAIN CHARACTER" - type of folk. annoying people, but not quite concerning, y'know?

but yeah, i surprisingly see a lotta people who say tek6 made jin a better character. which is usually thanks to the crowd who don't like "good characters" ... which tbh, it seems like more ppl nowadays are averse to heroic characters than they used to be? nowadays people want characters to be more morally questionable. which as i've stated before... it just gets boring if every character has to be like that. plus, even if jin WAS a genuinely terrible character before tek6, it's not like tek6 would've improved him. how does, essentially, being a copy of kazuya's character makes him any better? it doesn't. it still has the problem of him being unoriginal and boring because we already have a character like that.

i think what they wanted was just for jin to be completely condemned or for kazuya to have been the "true good guy" lol. at least, that's what i got from reading those old reddit posts prior 8's release. which as i said, is silly because kazuya is just as bad - err, arguably worse than jin was. given that both are doing the exact same shit, it's just that jin was to save the world supposedly meanwhile kazuya is just... because he wants power lol.

and yeah, i always found that funny. i find it funny how people can acknowledge steve rogers or luke skywalker being written ooc in stories that have smeared their characters to make them "flawed" or straight up villainous for no good reason. but like... people can't do that with jin when it comes to tek6? ofc, the sw and marvel crowds are completely different people - but my point is, why can't the tek fandom recognize what jin's character used to be?

ffs, i once pointed out that jin saying "strength isn't everything" isn't actually character development because of the way his character is handled, and everyone disagreed with me on that lol. it's like if mario says "i must save'a the princess!" in every game, but then in one game, he's suddenly like "PRINCESS PEACH CAN GO EAT SHIT AND DIE" but then in another game, he returns to saying "i must save'a the princess!" that's not... that's not real character development, it's just writing the character accurately again. ESPECIALLY when there's no explanation at all as to why mario wanted peach to die, and then there's no explanation for when he suddenly returns to wanting to save her.

but yes, i'm totally with you. i just wish that people would stop being so fucking weird about jin. but like you said, i don't really visit r/tek anymore, i don't really interact with the fandom at all beyond the people i talk to on this blog. i don't go actively searching through tags. sometimes i'll find content on twitter, but that's only because i visit it for tek news. other than that? yeahhh... it's just a place that's best to stay away from lol.

also i'm just gonna say, IF kazuya gets redeemed, the fandom BETTER give him the same energy as they do to jin. they better give him the "BUT HE SHOULDN'T BE REDEEMED?!" and make nonstop jokes about him being a war criminal who can now for some reason be a good guy. but... we'll likely not see that as much. given there was an alarming amount of ppl who thought kazuya was more worthy to be the good guy than jin was lol.

and yeah, i also wish tek6's scenario campaign never happened. errr... at the very least, i wished it went a completely different way without ruining jin's character.

[bewarethewolfarmy]

Great Gatsby (which I hate for the record as a book but that's my personal preference) reminded me of my sophomore English class in high school. So like 10th grade, 15-16 year olds. We had to sit around talking about that book and discussing reading comprehension stuff, you know the schtick.

Well wouldn't you know it but the conversation turned to how my fellow classmates (again only 15-16 years old) felt about the characters and today's topic was Daisy. In which as I remember it did not go well; see my classmates were kids of the millennia and grew up in the time of feminism and women's rights (and wrongs) and found it greatly insulting (both male and female, I need to make sure you understand that this was not only one gender annoyed but a good majority of the class) that Daisy was, well, Daisy. That she talked the way she did, she acted the way she did, that she wanted her daughter to grow up pretty and brainless, yada yada yada.

Now not to toot my own horn but I'd been testing high on reading skills since i was like 6, reading was my thing, reading was my jam, and ever since I was itty bitty i always liked characters more than anything else (which goes into my disliking of Great Gatsby but that's not important right now). So here I am, about 16 years old, listening to a bunch of other teenagers complain and degrade Daisy who I objectively loathe anyway for being a main character of a book I loathe. But I found myself unwilling to stand for that, because there was a clear fundamental issue that I needed to make sure they understood and thus spoke up about (despite being social anxious most of my life).

That issue was that these teenagers of the 21st century were trying to apply their values to a woman of the 1920's. Daisy wasn't made in the 2000's, she wasn't a woman who grew up with the right to vote and choose her own path, treated as at least marginally equal to men; she was a girl who grew up in a certain time in a certain place and complaining about who she is based on 21st century morality and concepts was never going to be fair or right. And it undermined the importance of WHAT Daisy was really saying and feeling, that her wishes for her daughter was ultimately about hoping for a better life for her, in the only ways she felt she had access to. That Daisy was doing what she could with what she had and just because she's not a liberated woman who don't need no man doesn't make her a bad person.

Point is, the discussion reminded me of this little footnote in my life but it's a footnote that definitely supports the idea that people just don't think sometimes, and they don't really read and haven't for a long time. Or maybe the concept of being an edgelord is so strong in humans at times that they feel the only way they can feel happy is by "advocating" for the most negative view on things: Huck Finn is just a bad racist book, Daisy from the Great Gatsby is a terrible woman and the book glorifies stalking (which like it so doesn't; part of truly hating a book is knowing the book and it really doesn't do that at all even before Gatsby gets his comeuppance), etc etc etc.)

[containsxmultitudes]

SPN Questionnaire

Tagged by: No one, I stole it! Tagging: Steal it you heathens.

1. When did you start watching Supernatural?

Great question. I think about a year before I made Nick’s blog. And Nick’s blog is roughly 8 years old now. So I guess when I was about 16? I watched it because a friend from facebook RP played either Dean or Cas, I don’t remember which. And all I knew was that I wanted to understand. So I started watching it. And at the time I really fucking liked it. 

2. Who is your favorite in TFW?

Hands down the answer is Sam Fucking Winchester. I love his character. Cas is a very close second. But Sam has my heart. It’s what it is.

3. Who is your least favorite in TFW?

Dean. That’s too easy for me to answer. It’s not that I hate Dean, because I don’t. But I’m very critical of his character past like season 7. And even season 7 is on thin fucking ice.

4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs

@sunsymbols (listen, I think at this point Marci has to know I’m slightly platonically in love. And if Marci doesn’t know that, well what up. Now u do. <3) @heavensuffered (I haven’t RP’d with this person as of yet, but I truly love seeing them on my dash, and their interactions from various blogs of theirs that I follow. One day I’ll get the nerve to try to interact with ‘em.) @siilverbulleted (Bandit counts as a supernatural character right? Because too bad I’m counting them. I love Bandit, I love Mimikyu. 10/10 quality OC and person.) @compatiissante (Technically Maya is fandomless, but they do interact with SPN blogs enough that I’m still fuckin’ counting it. Salem is lovely, Maya is lovely. Also a 10/10 quality OC and person.) @soxgetxthis​ (Sam mun, and Sam muse. Double Sam. Wonderful as hell. I love. I stan. Chef’s kiss. I’m so glad to know them!)

Bonus:

@bevvitching​ (Honestly what a lovely OC, and a lovely person. I love Katie’s character. Brilliant. Sassy. Cute. Yes. Also mun is a nice fucking person.)

5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)?

Claire, Ruby, or Eileen. 

6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural?

Claire, Ruby, or Eileen.

7. John or Mary?

Mary. She is flawed for sure. But she tried to leave the life and do the best she could before getting killed. And I don’t know much about when she came back in the later seasons, but I genuinely believe that she would have had to be super disoriented and unsure what to be doing. So whatever choices she made make sense enough to me to be forgivable. John is complicated.

8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack?

Sam: My first impression was that I really liked him. I thought he was hilarious. My current impression is that I’d die for him, personally. I would go to bat for that boy instantly even though he’s a fictional character lmao.

Dean: Similar first impression as Sam. I think I had a more immediate connection to Dean specifically because I was one of those dumb asses who read a lot of destiel despite not having watched the show yet lol. So I had that going for me. The current impression of him is extremely different. Like a full 180 switch of how I feel about Dean.

Cas: Another one of those things where I was biased because of reading fic lmaooooo. But I still like him now. I think he’s a beautifully done character.

Jack: So admittedly Jack’s character became a thing a few years after I’d stopped watching SPN. But based on anything I know of him, I do think he’s a sweet little bean.

9. What’s your favorite season?

Honestly don’t know. But favorite set of seasons would be 1-5. With 6-parts of 8 as a second.

10. What’s your least favorite season?

Anything from season 9 onward can eat me.

11. Opinions on Destiel?

So I came to this fandom because of RP and because of Destiel fic. So I’m not against a good destiel fic. However, because of my changed, critical views, of Dean... Destiel isn’t something I’d want for Castiel. I think Cas deserves more than someone who’s going to treat him like ass. And I do think Dean treats him like ass. I don’t care if Dean cried over his trenchcoat, and I don’t care that he went to purgatory and looked for him. Because at the end of the day? Dean does not treat Castiel very well for being friends with him. Dean needs to work on himself first.

Now Sastiel,,,,

12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits?

I 100% do believe Supernatural queerbaited. Part of that is showrunners. Part of it is the actors, actually. Who would in the past claim things, or tweet things... and it would get hopes up. So yes. I think Supernatural queerbaited. They knew what fans thought, and acknowledged it. And then continued to put in content that would read like something was going to happen but didn’t.

Also multiple instances of bury your gays: Charlie? Kaia? Cas? It doesn’t matter whether or not Dean returned those feelings, it really doesn’t. But Cas was an unquestionably queer character and they had him die for his unrequited love of Dean. 

So yes. They queerbaited.

13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14?

1-7, without even a second thought.

14. Favorite villain (plot wise)?

Either Azazel. (Who was a baller villain. Spooky fucker). Or season 5 Lucifer, surprisingly. But like,,,, only season 5 Lucifer. Other seasons Lucifer was a No From Me Dawg. He was written so well that he literally had some of the audience believing he was the one who was wronged. He had the audience believing he was the most considerate angel. The one who wanted “real consent” (spoiler alert: he didn’t.) And I think that was interesting.

15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line?

They should have left Lucifer in the cage after season 5, haha. 

16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)?

Sam, easily. Sam’s traumas started even before he was fucking born, y’all. Like what? No consent from day one? Baby sam getting demon blood? Nice. Sam getting possessed by Meg? Getting shit on by John and sometimes Dean? Losing Jess the same way he lost his mom? All the monster hunting? Years in hell with The Literal Devil? Forced to deal with his brother dying in that loop with Gabriel. Point or no point, Gabriel still did that shit. And I can’t imagine anything other than it being a trauma point. And I love Gabriel. Getting romantically roofied by Becky? And with a horrific implication when he becomes aware and is like, “where are my pants?” as if that’s supposed to be a funny joke?

Soulless Sam was actually more than a little bit tragic even if you put aside the fact his soul was in hell for about five seconds. Because he wanted to be there, and was kind of upset, in his own way, that people preferred Sam with a soul. Even though he was there and never asked to be soulless.

Then there’s the arc of Sam going through the trials. And admitting at the end that he feels unclean, and terrible because he just didn’t want to let anyone down.

FOLLOWED BY DEAN MAKING HIM APOLOGIZE FOR BEING UPSET THAT HIS AUTONOMY WAS TAKEN FROM HIM AGAIN. BY A FUCKING ANGEL. WHO WAS LYING. WHICH HE ALREADY HAS TRAUMA FROM. BECAUSE DEAN COULDN’T HANDLE BEING ALONE!

Endless Lucifer retraumatization. Endless Dean being an edgelord.

So yeah. It’s Sam.

17. What’s your favorite Supernatural episode?

Honestly the first episode that comes to mind is that one episode where Dean gradually gets more scared of things as the episode goes on. Or the episode where wishes come true, but slightly off, and they have to try and deal with the teddy bear lmao.

18. Do you like case episodes?

Yep!

19. Who do you relate most to in TFW?

You’d be surprised to hear this, as you might assume I’d say Sam because of how much I could talk about him. But it’s actually Cas. I can’t fully explain why. A lot of it is the awkwardness, the difficulties with interacting normally. It’s the sense of just wanting to help people even if sometimes the way things go aren’t completely right. But also I’m gay as shit and probably asexual. And Big Fucking Same on my end.

20. Why do you like Supernatural?

Oh at this point I don’t. I like Supernatural for the RP fandom that I personally associate with lmao. But I liked it before season 8-9 and onward because it was pretty entertaining and yeah.

21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be?

I’d bring back Jo, Kaia, and a more confirmed Eileen. I’d keep Lucifer in the cage for good after season 5 lmao.

[ghost-matter]

1-70 BICTH

You monstrous boy, it is 2am

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

My mom and I don’t always agree on things but overall we do. I don’t see my dad very often but when I do we get along very well.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

My mom

03: Do you regret anything?

Oh goodness me, yes indeed.

04: Are you insecure?

Nonsense, don’t be silly. 

05: What is your relationship status?

Stupid

06: How do you want to die?

Peacefully?

07: What did you last eat?

Chicken parmesan

08: Played any sports?

Listen here kiddo, I ain’t no high-falootin ball thrower

09: Do you bite your nails?

Not anymore

10: When was your last physical fight?

Never

11: Do you like someone?

Of course I do, I like all the people I care about!

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

I don’t think so

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Always, I’m a vengeful bitch lmao

14: Do you miss someone?

Indeed, very much. 

15: Have any pets?

2 super dumb cats that I would absolutely die for 

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

HAWNGRY

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Probably? Lmao

18: Are you scared of spiders?

I think some of them are neat looking but overall yes

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

No

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

My couch

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Working lmao

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

Absolutely not

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

I do, I have 10

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

English for sure

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

Depends on how far back is considered “the past”

26: What are you craving right now?

A Hershey bar with almonds 

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Unfortunately

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yes

30: What’s irritating you right now?

My cat is trying to open the door to the washing machine/dryer and the sound is a bit irksome

31: Does somebody love you?

I certainly hope so.

32: What is your favourite color?

Black, because I’m a filthy little edgelord 

33: Do you have trust issues?

Who doesn’t with all these musty bitches out there

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

I had a really weird dream last night that I was swimming against the current of the ocean; I think it was at night. I was holding onto something trying to keep the waves from pulling it from my hand. I remember making it to shore but after I woke up I couldn’t remember if I had kept hold of the object or not. 

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My friend Jessie from work

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

My greatest vice, dear friends

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forget, because I’m a petty bitch

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

Well shit, here’s hoping

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

11

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Yes lmao but I was like 7

51: Favourite food?

Probably a cheese pizza, because I’m picky and basically 9

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Over the last two years I’ve started to feel this way to a certain extent.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Got up to pee lmao

54: Is cheating ever okay?

No, it’s essentially spitting in the face of the mutual trust that is supposed to exist between people who are committed to each other.

55: Are you mean?

I can say some really horrible things when I’m mad enough not to care 

56: How many people have you fist fought?

Literally no one, I am a small weak child

57: Do you believe in true love?

Yes, but I don’t know if my definition matches with the one people often seem to mean

58: Favourite weather?

Warm enough not to need a jacket, but cool enough not to sweat. Perhaps a light drizzle included

59: Do you like the snow?

Aesthetically, yes

60: Do you wanna get married?

Eventually, with the right person, yes

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Not unless I’m dating her

62: What makes you happy?

Getting a day off work to just lay on the couch and play some video games and snuggle with my cats

63: Would you change your name?

I’ve never liked my first name but I can’t imagine having a different one either…ugh

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

No

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Stare blankly at them as I attempt to remind them of my gayness

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Once upon a time, yes

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

A male coworker

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Jessie from work again

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

I’m not sure.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

I am far too fearful of death for all that

[madestrcng]

tagged by: @dcputyrook​ tagging: whomest ever

BASICS:

Name: Bee ;w; Age: 22 Pronouns: they / them Sexuality: Gay Zodiac sign: Capricorn  Taken or single: single pringle Four Things About This Blog: ✘ I originally made it to be a John Seed blog while I was still playing through the game, but after considering and playing more of it, I decided on Staci instead.  ✘ Partly why I decided on Staci was because he was similar to a muse I use to play that I missed, and mostly because I found @badwclv​‘s blog in the tags while I was on my personal and I just ???? wanted to have a reason to write with them and I hadn’t seen any blogs for Staci when I looked. So I was the first to write him on here. ✘ uuuuuuh, a lot of Staci’s backstory is based on previous characters I played from other fandoms that I thought were similar, my own personal experience (see below), and some fanfics I had read about him. His secondary verse (cult verse) is heavily influenced by a fanfic actually. Embarrassing to admit haha I just found the story concept and Staci’s development interesting and I wanted to see where I could go with that. ✘ I write Staci as being Native American and had grown up on the Rez. Mostly because I myself am Native American and grew up and lived on an Indian reservation all my life before moving for College. I decided to do this partly because of how Staci looked (nonwhite, dark hair, etc), and also based on the general area of where this might all take place. Montana is home to a lot of different Indigenous tribes, like The Cheyenne, Crow Nation, Bitterroot Salish, Blackfoot, just to name a few. I decided on Blackfoot because their reservation is North of where Hope County is supposed to be set. Idk if that is really that interesting but I just ??? wanted to do it, because not a lot is known about Staci before EG, and I found it as a way to build his character and connect to him more personality. Like, if he and I shared experiences even if they were mundane and small, it would make writing him more real to me?? Idk f that makes sense, but point is that bc of this I created like 5 other FC5 OCs or Other Characters (Wheaty) on my multi who are also Indigenous and I get to thrive??? writing native characters??? Thanks I suck lmao

Three Mun Facts: ✘ I will go the fuck off about character theories or headcanons for the most minor characters ever. I only really do it on discord because I fear being annoying and spamming but, I got some deep ass metas in my head. ✘ I wanted to be a filmmaker since I was 4 years old, and I made some short films in middle school and high school. So when I graduated I moved across the country a month later and went to film school. I graduated with a degree in film & cinematography, and every time I watch Inside Eden’s Gate or any of the shorts made for Far Cry, I cry because I wanna make some shit like that. Super wild. ✘ I can play bass guitar and use to be able to play piano like a mf but I stopped and now I’m really rusty. Anyway, hire me to be your bassist in your punk band ;3c

EXPERIENCE:

How’d you start: I rped Naruto over texting with my best friend in Middle School. Platforms you’ve used:  I pretty much jumped right into tumblr after that, never did the forums or anything. I think for awhile we used skype :0 but I only really rped over skype, email, facebook, and texting on and off for awhile with her. But I found uuuuuh, a Durarara!! rp group randomly like two years later and was like oh???  Anyway, so I’ve used skype, email, tumblr, aim??, facebook, and I now RP on Discord a lot more. Best experience: honestly hard to say, I think when I just met people I really hit it off with and we just meshed well is always the best. But if I have to be specific uuuuh, I once joined an RP group about Gods or something, and I eventually got my best friends to join which is what got them into Rping. Also through it I met another girl who became like, my best friend online for YEARS after that, from age like, 13 to age 20?? And also bc I was a big gay, I fell in love with her which uuh, didn’t end well but point is that, the best part is just making friends who you love and adore who stick with you even after the group or fandom you were in together dies.  Worst experience:  fuck ok honestly, I had someone who would hound me to ship all the time, and would follow me every time I moved blogs. They would constantly hound me to write smut with them (even tho I was underage) and if I said no they would just be like oh well too bad and would start writing their character doing some shit with mine and get really fucking mean to me if I didn’t reply. Also would constantly bug me to reply to them and guilt trip me, even if I wasn’t home to reply or if I was at school, they would get really mean and vicious about it. And would post horrible shit about me on the dash and stuff when I wasn’t home to reply to our threads.

And they would constantly like, play if off like I was the bad guy and the abusive one and was overall just really toxic and super mean to me and my friends? Pushed away my other shipping partners, forced me to tell my best friend I cant ship with her anymore or else??? And we were all like, 14 or 15 at the time when we met them, and they were like, 36 and had a kid and was married. I didn’t get away from them until I was like, 18 :))) and they had made so many people dislike me and shit because of the dumbass stuff they said about me, so I had to leave tumblr for awhile. Anyway when I came back like, months later a bunch of people had come out of the woodwork who I don’t even remember to apologize to me and be like wow some shit went down and this person showed their true colors and everyone kinda realized they were toxic and a liar bc I guess they tried to do it to some other people. It was wild.

MUSE PREFERENCES:

Original or canon: Canon usually Favourite face: oh geez uuuh, i guess Rami Malek since I’ve used him A LOT, or Erin Richards. Least favorite face: idk man, I guess people who use FCs who are dead irl makes me uncomfy. It just feels weird to me :/ Or people who use White FCs for nonwhite characters, sometimes its up to interpretation though like a video game character or something. But when it’s super obvious a poc and they use a white fc it’s super weird for me. Multi or single: both, but I have trouble maintaining a multi.

WRITING PREFERENCES:

Plots or memes: plot usually, sometimes I don’t know what to do with memes or I don’t know what the other writer is comfortable with. I like to hash things out and make a game plan so I don’t screw something up. Best time to write:  I usually write at night, but sometimes I crank out replies during the day if I have time or if the muses suddenly strikes. Do you like your muse(s):   I love all my muses so much it hurts wowie How long (months/years?): uuuuuh, started in 6th grade so uuuuh, 11 or so years now?? Something like that, I feel like my writing peeked in high school but then again, if I look back at it, it was probably all cringy and dark bc I was a little edgelord.

[anthropwashere]

@proserpine-in-phases tagged me in a thing about writing, so naturally I’m going to do this instead of write!

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

A lot of my deadfics end up stalling out over research roadblocks. I’ll flub my way through one scene with the intent to come back after I’ve done my Google-fu, and then another, and another, aaaaand that’s now too much work. 

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

A JTHM fic I wrote in high school that ended up deadfic because I ran off to BMT. It was well-received at the time but looking at it now? It’s just so ow, the edge. I’ve low-key considered tearing it down and rewriting it, but it’s been ten years and I can’t even recall where I was going with it. 

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

90% chronological with a lot of snippets for later scenes piled haphazardly at the end of every Gdoc. of all the things that might have been was the big exception. There’s 28k posted and another 50k trapped behind a heap of writer’s block. :C

4) favorite character you’ve written?

Gee, I wonder!

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing?

Winry Rockbell. Not my usual character type to write by far, but she was just as surprisingly fun to write.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now?

A ton of older fic on AO3 has a lot of weird formatting and grammatical errors. I think it’d be easy to get hung up over changes I’d want to make to various giftfics I’ve written over the years as well.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

I can count on one hand the number of real life people who know I write and have fingers left over. I hate talking about my writing face-to-face. 

8) favorite genre to write?

Mmm, suspense/horror? Whatever you call ‘presenting a problem to a character that gets insurmountably worse, and also it would be justified if the character just huddled screaming under a blanket instead of confronting it.’

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Read other fics that handle similar topics/ideas. Look through the literal GBs of refs I’ve got saved. Get out of the house and do something even a little bit out of my norm. Get lost on Wikipedia.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

Music always, rarely near people.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

Man, I’ve been writing and posting fics for 15 years now. I have to hope every aspect has improved since I was friggin’ 12 years old writing garbo Mary Sues.

12) your weaknesses as an author?

I can’t concentrate on anything long enough to finish it. More fic ideas than I’ll ever have the energy to commit too. Run-on sentences. I don’t write women almost at all. COMMAS. 

13) your strengths as an author?

I feeeeel like I do a good job of getting the reader into the character’s headspace? I adore limited narrative so when I write a fic I try to commit to that character’s style and personality. I also think I do horror/suspense decently.

15) why did you start writing?

11 year old Lorelei found ffn and went, “Oh shit, this is a thing? Sign me up.”

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

...I’m not sure what this means? 

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

It’s okay to write positive endings, edgelord. Sometimes less is more. Sometimes more is good too, but damn girl, tread carefully. 

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

These seems like a dangerous rabbit hole to fall down, so I’ll just link the most recent fic whose style and impact left me speechless the first time I read it (and envious, and determined, and more than happy to read it three more times).

Divine Right of Kings by Oedipus Tex

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

Badly! Which is why I’ve never successfully finished a longfic! But I do try and make outlines or at least a tidy splash of notes at the bottom of the Gdoc. One fic I’m working on right now requires spreadsheets.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Little spurts. NaNo’s been excellent in the past at making me do more than a couple hundred words on a good day. Alas, the last Camp NaNo I signed up for I dipped out of because of my migraines, and I didn’t even bother signing up for July.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

For the most part I consider it all passable, as far back as AO3 goes at least. Anything earlier than that I pretend doesn’t exist. 

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

Intimacy, be it porn or fluff. Anything technical I can’t gloss over with some hastily gathered Wikipedian knowledge. Comedy.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

I don’t think so? Not much of my personal experience has been applicable to what I’ve written. A bit of geography, maybe?

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

I’d never claim to be an expert on anything, but I do try and do my research for fic. Learning new things is my favorite part of writing.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

You may have a snippet from my four biggest FMA wips (all of which are over 15k words and nowhere near done, send help).

- We Are Sisyphus (03 fic where alternate Ed lives.)

Other Ed and Alfons are unpacking groceries, picked up on their way back to the tiny flat above not-Gracia’s flower shop that seems all the smaller with a fourth person inside. Gratia’s come up as well, bearing fresh vases of flowers too damaged to sell but still smell just as sweet. It helps to mask Hohenheim’s reek, something he can’t really help with how advanced his decay’s gotten in their time apart. 

“Surprised you even recognized him,” Ed says under his breath, under pretense of showing him some of the notes he’d brought back. He gives Hohenheim a long, quelling glare out of the corner of his eye. “I mean, considering you left when Al was still practically a toddler.”

“There were more recent pictures at Pinako’s house,” Hohenheim replies, apparently uninterested in taking the hint to back off. “But it’s the way you look at Herr Heiderich that made me realize just who he reminded me so sorely of.”

“Oh yeah? And how’s that?”

“Like you’re grieving.”

- your head will lie in dust (Father wins, makes the five sacrifices immortal. AKA, the Hohenheim fic with the group chat that can’t stop, won’t stop.)

“There was a cut on your cheek,” Hohenheim says.

Edward brings shaking fingers to his face. He digs his nails in as if he’ll tear his skin open just to spite Hohenheim on principle. Then he stops. Shuts his eyes. Lets Mrs. Curtis slide from his lap. “I,” he says. “You’re wrong. You have to be.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. He has said this so often now, to so many people over so many years, that the words have lost all meaning. He tongues at the space where regret should be and finds only an empty hole. “Do you hear them?”

Edward flinches in slow-motion, an exercise in arranging the muscles of his face into a tense knot to display his anger, his fear, his grief. Little words for emotions greater than any person should have to bear. Edward flinches and struggles to breathe. He presses his hands over his ears and tilts rigidly to the floor.

- our hands were first to forgive (The Mustang remains blind and gets automail AU nobody asked for.)

It’s unsettling, how easy clapping alchemy has turned out to be.

He’d expected it to be difficult, to be something he’d have to learn through trial and error. He doesn’t know why he thought that. Edward’s never shown any hesitation in the use of it—though when has Edward shown hesitation in anything? Bad example. Not that there are a lot of examples to choose from, and of those he’s only been able to see Alphonse transmute without a circle. That’s a somewhat recent development, isn’t it? Before the boys went up to Briggs. He never thought to ask what had happened to allow Alphonse to abandon circles. It hadn’t occurred to him to think that anything needed to have happened to allow it at all. Knowing the source of clapping alchemy, he doubts it was anything pleasant. One more thing to ask after, once he can see again.

This ability, this… gift? He hesitates to call it that. Unwanted, unasked for, received all the same. Fine. This gift wasn’t learned. It feels grafted into him, weird and rough at its edges, like the scars on his torso his shirts still catch on months after burning Lust to ash. Unnaturally a part of him, but a part of him still. For all the knowledge that was poured into his mind in the Gate, he doesn’t feel like he learned anything.

He feels burned.

- Pour Out Like Light (9 years post-series, Ed finds out Trisha’s illness is hereditary. This absolute bastard of a wip is currently stalled out at over 46k words and nowhere near done.)

He peels a potato, sets it down. A broken, twisted hand reaches over his shoulder to pick it up.

He sets down the vegetable peeler. “Mom?”

“Yes?”

“Why didn’t you tell Granny?”

“Tell Granny what?”

“You knew it wasn’t the epidemic, didn’t you?” He cups the potato in both hands, in the hand he’s always had and the hand he’d traded away and Al had given back. “If you knew, why didn’t you warn her I’d get sick too? Why didn’t you warn me?”

She doesn’t answer. Instead there’s the heavy, loose-limbed thud of a body collapsing to the floor. It has a wet sound to it, a splattering sound. Her death rattle sucks the sunlight out of the kitchen, strangled and thick with fluid. There is almost, almost the sound of his name.

This post is huge now, wow. Um. Never sure who’s cool with being tagged in these kinds of posts. @ladyyatexel @leda-x @haikujitsu I don’t really talk writing much w/ any of you but you’re all fantastic and it’d be cool to hear some of the thought process behind the fics? No obligation, of course.

[millababicheva]

i was gonna write a long analysis over this, but i’m tired and have a presentation due so let’s do some quick bullet points on my ideal characterization of yuri plisetsky and what should have gone differently in the show! more under the cut because this got long

remember when he was first introduced as an asshole who yelled at yuuri when he was crying? that doesn’t happen. instead, he minds his own business and Doesn’t Do That

he still feels frustrated to watch someone as talented as yuuri, who has all the things he lacks as a skater, fail on the ice. it doesn’t sit well with him, and while yuuri’s piqued his interest—just what kind of things is he capable of doing with that much potential, you know?—he also feels jealous of him but finds himself looking forward to seeing him get better

when yuri heads to hasetsu after hearing that victor moved to become yuuri’s coach, he doesn’t kick him into the doors and step on his face like an asshole. instead, yuri feels his anger re-surge (because victor promised him a program but he up and went to a different country so suddenly it’s like he forgot about him! and yuri obviously has a lot of pride as one of russia’s up and coming Great Skaters) and calls yuuri��s name through gritted teeth, followed by an angry “where’s victor! i need to talk to him!”

instead of talking to yuuri condescendingly, he just. doesn’t. he has beef with victor, not yuuri, and he calms down after realizing that hey! maybe victor can help yuuri reach the potential he saw in him during the GPF four months ago. yuri begrudgingly asks yuuri if victor’s already started working on his program (begrudgingly because yuri’s petty over victor leaving him hanging when he promised to choreograph a program), and when yuuri replies with a no, yuri only feels angry at victor not yuuri

yuri’s thoughts, probably: “victor you goddamn fool! you’re a fucking genius and you don’t even have a program set for him yet!!” and “what about me!!” because what 15-year-old isn’t self-centered. besides, like i said, yuri takes great pride in his skill

he yells at victor later. this is the only negative yelling i will ever allow him, ever, and the next time he yells it’s words of encouragement (remember when episode 9 was a thing? let yuri say “hang in there!” to yuuri. pls. this is good for him.)

instead of calling yuuri “piggy” (let! this! die!), yurio just says a slowly drawn out and awkward “you” because he’s awkward and thinks it’s weird to say his own name out loud, but eventually he gets over it

but he secretly thinks it’s really cool that he shares the same name with yuuri. and that yuuri is actually a really nice person. he aspires to be like yuuri, work just as hard as him, and someday, he hopes to face off with him on the ice when they’re both in top form

instead of kicking victor repeatedly in the back in episode 10 (this entire scene makes me crave death all the more, by the way), Yuri “Edgelord McGee” Plisetsky walks up to victor, hoodie up, hands in his pockets, brooding look on his face. somehow, he knows what victor’s thinking*

 *this is just my personal interpretation of things, but when yuri said, “victor nikiforov is dead!” i sort of saw that as… yuri knowing that victor had already decided to give up his ice skating career for yuuri. like, yuri isn’t as close to victor, but he has known him for a while longer than yuuri. he can tell what he’s thinking after seeing the resolute but achingly sad conviction on his face while staring at his wedding ring

but instead of yelling out something along the lines of “you’re dead! you’re career’s dead!” and “i’ll show you how incompetent that pig is by beating him” like a condescending asshole, yuri asks victor if he’s sure about his decision. 

yuri: “you’re really leaving? you’re really giving it all up for him?”

victor: “why? were you looking forward to competing against me?”

yuri: “don’t be ridiculous. i can win, too. i’ll show you that you’re not the best anymore. i’ll beat you and yuuri and become the world’s best skater”

me, while typing this out: pfft, okay, edgelord,

victor stays silent and i digress, because i could argue for more analysis of the scene, but that has more to do with victor, not yuri

yuri doesn’t push anymore afterward because it’s none of his business. sounds like an adult’s problem. so he leaves after offering victor congratulations on his engagement

the dialogue involving how the beach reminds them of hasetsu stays because that’s actually really nice, and lbr, hasetsu has a lot of good memories for both victor and yuri (when he was training there at least)

although yuri still breaks victor’s short program record (a truly wonderful and amazing feat considering how hard he worked), he doesn’t win gold. i didn’t really mention it until now, but a significant part of yuri’s canon characterization is also based around growth and how much time he has left before his body changes. he gets silver because he still has a lot of room left for growth. he isn’t the best just yet

after all, his theme this season “agape” is a self-sacrificing, humbling kind of love. yuri’s acted out selfishly and definitely hurt people’s feelings along the way. he should acknowledge that, apologize, and move on. growth is scary, but he knows he needs it in order to reach his aspirations one day

… and that’s probably… it? i could probably include more, but they would end up being more headcanon-based rather than include stuff i would actually change in canon. 

tl;dr: yuri plisetsky is…

hard-working and confident, but that doesn’t hinder him from appreciating how talented and deserving other people are too

easy to anger and irritable, but that doesn’t mean he’ll violently act out; after all, he’s still trying to get a hold of his emotions little by little

still growing and still learning, and he definitely has a lot left to go before claiming to be the best in the world

[butchstolemysweetroll]

Tagged by @saxrohmerwon ages ago on my brief other blog and just noticed it, thanks bruh ily <3

Rules:  Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, then write 10 questions of your own, and tag some friends!

1. Favorite city (or town/small island/et cetera) in the world and why?

I guess it’d be Avalon. I basically spent every summer of my life there with family and it’s really small (only seven miles long) so you wind up going to the same few ice cream places or antique stores or pizza shops all the time but you never really get bored of it. The whole place has a quiet, old-timey shore town nostalgia to it too that’s super sweet. And like some of my all time favorite memories were staying on the beach until sunset when the lifeguards were gone so we could swim wherever we wanted, or climbing on the outfall pipe and walking to see how far out I was brave enough to go (it got “higher” ((read: the sand started to disappear)) the further out over the water you went), or walking on the beach at night. That was my favorite part, the nighttime. It’s weird how quiet but how alive everything got after dark, and I could hunt for ghost crabs or watch fireworks and the lights from town on the water, and the sand never bothered me as much when it was cool from the dark.

2. Describe your favorite scent/s.

Autumn, if that counts as a smell. But the combined scent of really brisk air and smoky burning leaves and fresh damp ones and hay and I guess plant life generally decaying, but in a sweet way? I also like flower smells obviously, and food smells, but those are boring to talk about. Gasoline, the specific kind of fake (cotton) paper money is printed on. Coffee. I’ve learned to kind of like the smell of cigarettes on clothes, because my boyfriend smokes and I like waking up in the sweater I wore the night before with that smell still on it. People have smells too. Like my mom smells like perfume even when she isn’t wearing any, and it’s nice. And babies smell rad and trigger ALL of my maternal impulses (cannot wait to reproduce, it’s gonna be gr8). And the boy smells really nice... Not even in like a what-deodorant-are-you-wearing kind of way but like skin and sweat and waking up warm in a cold house on Wednesday mornings. And when he comes home from work smelling like fresh cut grass and wet dirt it’s v nice.

3. Who is/was your favorite teacher and why?

My Romantic Lit professor currently, because he teaches exactly what I want to teach and I have a career crush on him. He’s also just super excitable and enthusiastic (let’s talk about that WEIRD weekend in Geneva the Shelleys took guys! Blake was an EDGELORD!) which I love.

I also had a professor at my old school who was super cool and helped me through a lot of shit? I took her personal essay class right as I was sort of in recovery for depression following a terrible, low key emotionally unhealthy (abusive? I still don’t know if I can use that word? Either way, OVER-SHARING YAY) romantic relationship and I explored that and a lot of other stuff pertaining to my childhood and relationships and discovering my queerness in my work for her class, and she was super supportive and involved in helping me experiment with new formats and really use writing as a therapeutic tool and it helped me heal a lot. She was also just a super cool lady (lots of tattoos and wispy blonde hair and a quiet voice, kind of a hipster fairy) who hung out with me at a local music festival in town when I was like fresh out of the hospital and having trouble being around my normal friends. She just always made sure her door was open and went out of her way to make me feel better, and to this day I appreciate that.

4. What is your favorite poem?  (Substitute with “song” if you don’t have a favorite poem.)

Oh my GOD, don’t make me choose. I’m obsessed with the Romantics and a few contemporaries have my heart, but I guess I’d have to say “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” by Robert Frost. It’s just beautiful and hopeful and simple enough that tiny me could fall in love with it and appreciate it almost in its fullness when I was too young to grasp other works.

5. Weirdest thing you’ve ever heard out-of-context?

Ever? I don’t tend to remember stuff like that for a long time unless I’d like hypothetically overheard a murder or something, but last night some girl was walking back from our student center with her friends and angrily shouted that she wanted to “put her dong through a snare drum” which made me laugh.

6. Best concert experience?  (If you have never been to a concert, what do you hope your first concert will be?)

Still gotta say Green Day after just turning 15 years old. I’d never been to a concert before and they were my favorite band at the time. I was so proud to be there because I had 0 dollars to my name and no one would hire me because I was underage, so I had to earn every penny for those tickets doing gross menial work like removing and scrubbing window frames that hadn’t seen soap in maybe a decade (SO MANY SPIDERS), and teeny bopper me thought that was 'punk.’ And at one point Billie Joe Armstrong, who my pathetic little emo self wanted to MARRY told the audience he was proud of everyone who’d worked their ass off to afford to come see them play and I remember turning to my dad and screaming “HE MEANS ME!” It was so wholesome.

7. Favorite holiday (or other special occasion) and why?

Christmas! My house was THE Christmas house growing up. My parents put so much effort into it and it was the cutest thing. Besides the outrageous amount of decorations and the amazing food that takes all week to make and the cute tradition of having my grandparents spend the night to watch us open presents first thing in the morning, the best part of Christmas growing up was definitely the effort my family put into making us kids believe Santa was real for way longer than necessary. One year my uncle got a flashlight and a red solo up and climbed trees in our yard so we’d see “Rudolph’s nose” if we looked out the window. We put out reindeer food every year. My dad would stomp around shaking jingle bells and someone always climbed on the roof making noise, and my mom knew calligraphy, so she’d write us scrolls from Santa on legit parchment and toast it in the oven so it would curl. One year we had an old, old family friend who was a Santa impersonator show up with a legit sleigh and a giant book with all the family member’s names and the years they were naughty and nice in it and stories about why and it was so cute. So whereas most kids found out around like 8 my parents went to extreme lengths so that I believed it until I was like 11 and honestly, I’m really glad they did, because it was a kick ass childhood. I definitely want to be that level of extra when I become a parent.

8. Did you ever play an instrument growing up?  If so, how did it go for you?

Guitar, bass, after I learned guitar I could play pretty much anything pluckable with strings, so I had a Romanian lap harp (I was such a cool kid) and I would sometimes play my sister’s viola (often incorrectly and like a guitar, but it was fun to sample when I recorded stuff). I haven’t sang or touched an instrument in like seven years though. I kind of gave up after sad life stuff happened but I want to pick it back up again. I really miss music.

9. If you were given $100 today, what would you do with the money?

Use it toward Christmas presents for loved ones. Since I’m basically not allowed out of the house after I go home for break I have to do Christmas early with the friends and boyfriend.

10. What’s the scariest movie you have ever seen?  (Define scary however you like.)

I love scary movies so this is hard, but I guess anything in which children are genuinely evil? Like not even in a supernatural way; it’s not horror but watching We Need To Talk About Kevin fucked me up. I guess being a mom is like so much something that I want, and imagining that happening would def keep me up at night. Especially because I would not know what to do.

Now, for questions:

1. What’s your favorite article of clothing?

Dresses but also plain black leggings. And I have very soft sweatpants that fit just right.

2. Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal?

Nope. I can’t sleep with the live one either lol, Bynx likes to sleep RIGHT where I want to roll over and screams and puts his paws in my mouth when he wants attention.

3. Do you believe in heaven? Hell?

Both, Catholic.

4. Do you listen to podcasts? What are your favorite ones?

Not really, but I’d like to, in theory. It just seems like more effort somehow than watching TV and I am always tired.

5. What was your go-to game during recess?

Four square.

6. Where do you see yourself in the next ten years– not in a job interview kind of way, but actually?

Awwww this is cute to think about. I guess I’d like to be living in like a really woodland but not isolating place, somewhere where my house can be on a lake or by woods or mountains but if I drive ten minutes there’s a cozy-sized town with all I need. Maybe in like Virginia or Vermont. I’m a professor of Gothic Literature at the local college, and my students are engaged and inspiring and call me by my first name. I’m in a pretty and not-too-big house, but it’s warm and smells like our fireplace. I’m married to my lovely guy, and both our jobs are flexible enough that we can have dinner as a family and spend time with our brood of kids. And they pay well enough that we might not be wealthy but we never have to worry. The cat’s still with us and we’ve got a dog, too. We go on camping trips and The Lumberjack teaches the kids how to build fires and tie knots and dad stuff like that. One of the kids at least loves reading and the house is full of books - I’ve got a home office full of bookshelves and a reading nook. We’ve got a porch where we can bundle up and drink wine in the evening after the kids are in bed. We’re not rich but not poor, and our families get along and come to visit. My parents still ask us over for Christmas every year. Wherever I teach, my kids can go there for free.

7. Do you have a favorite visual artist? Who are they?

Oh lord, I don’t know. I mean I like art but I hate the process of liking art. It’s so much more involved than “I like how this piece makes me feel” and I don’t enjoy that. I like individual pieces and I don’t know enough about art to really speak on it.

I guess, though, I like Dali and Khalo as people. They seem unpretentious and fun. Which is surprising because I guess the way their work is talked about you’d think the opposite.

8. Do you really like a food that most people think is disgusting? Or, do you like a popular food to a disgusting degree?

Not really but like I put too much hot sauce / jalapenos on everything and it disgusts people. And I put way too much sugar in coffee, and creamer too.

9. What music did your parents play in the house/car?

My mom is a New Wave junkie like me and my dad had more complicated taste. He was never big into music, so he only really likes a few artists for their voices and some songs for nostalgia. So we listened to a lot of oldies and swing and Judy Garland, but he also loved Blondie and Boston.

10. What would you tell your 15-year-old self?

I’d tell her she’s a lot stronger than she’s going to think she is one day and to tough it out. That people love her and will love her. That when you get older, family is hard, but it’s worth it to work on things. That she’s smarter than she thinks she is and should try harder in school, because when she finally does have faith in herself, it’ll pay off. 

Tagging whoever else wants to do this - it’s cold and rainy (here at least) and we could all use a day of warm socks and procrastinating with asks, honestly.