#(but he also says he doesn’t believe in self sacrifice!!!!!! like do you Get It??)

[kalmeria]

i fucking love how at first glance tatsumi is supposed to be the normal one in alkaloid, he is the most responsible one, always level headed, a reassuring presence, constantly supporting his unit mates etc. and then you look the tiniest bit closer and it’s like. oh honey, you’re so fucked up

[michellesneptune]

HOW THE MOON SIGNS ACT WHEN THEY LOVE YOU pt. 1

disclaimer: forgive me if the series doesn’t cover all twelve signs, but i don’t think i’ve known enough people to speak about everyone’s way of loving. please be patient🤗

aries moon/1H

ooooh those little devils🔥😈 you can see the mischievous twinkle in their eyes. they’re children of Ares - the god of war! when they speak of their loved ones it feels as though they’re ready to kill for them any minute, only waiting for the right (or any😂) reason.

(just my observation, please don’t come at me) i believe that these natives are prone to being more loyal, less selfish and flaky than aries venus. aries is known to be 'the baby' of the zodiac, valuing independence and self-fulfilment greatly. however, i’ve noticed aries moons to be devoted af!! you will never catch them bad mouthing a friend or a partner.

also, from my experience, both placements like to fight, however aries venus often does it for own enjoyment, the initial chase turns them on. as for aries moons, they’re more steady. they would go to great lengths for friends and partners. you can call them in the middle of the night and ask the craziest favor, they WILL come and help.

(please keep in mind that i mean unevolved aries venuses that still have a lesson or two to learn!)

PS. they love to be treated like the center of your world, please give them attention💕

taurus moon/2H

hmmmm how do i put it… 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍! i will say that i am biased bc my boyfriend is one and the way he’s attentive, always asks about the details of my day, pays attention to my routines and shows love through acts of service🥹 you’ve probably heard the rumours and they’re true. taurus moons make the best cooks ever. and i don’t mean putting together a couple of cheap pancakes, nuh uh. their sharp senses only let them buy the best quality ingredients and cook with great care. bonus points if they prepare a dish that they know is your favourite!

i will say though, they are not the most verbal lovers. but when they’re in, they mean it. when they say they love you, it becomes a fact so obvious that they don’t feel the need to repeat it over and over. they like to settle into a routine, so don’t expect them to be flaky, send mixed signals and stir things up just to feel something/for fun (sag moons cough cough😅😅).

they also seem brutal sometimes. but i believe it’s because they see honesty as the highest form of trust. they want to feel comfortable with you. they value silence, too. they’re the type to show you their appreciation not by telling you how perfect you are but by actually putting in the work to show you your value and show that they’re worthy of being by your side.

lastly, their homes are their sanctuaries, a reflection of their feelings. usually beautiful and they look for someone worthy of letting in, to match their belongings. they get a rep for being possessive and stubborn, nevertheless with the right person they can make a sacrifice and at least try to change their ways😂😂

virgo moon/6H

okay so i know they’re said to be critical, demanding, neurotic etc but hear me out. virgo is a mutable sign, ruled by mercury and in true mutable fashion they DO get wild, fun and unhinged lol. as a virgo moon myself i am well aware of the fact that i often act like i’ve got a stick up my ass. but when i get closer to you i want it all: karaoke nights, fast car rides, spontaneous trips! sometimes i even take those things to the extreme!

they’re also said to have the highest standards. and while i imagine it’s partly true, i believe that this placement is all about accepting the biggest, weirdest quirks of your s/o (as well as 6th house synastry!).

besides, i think that we get more so insecure and self-critical in relationships, analyzing the f outta our partners, wondering whether we’re meeting their demands! we’re about the overall quality of the partnership and just want it to be perfect🥺 we’re also quite anxious and require lots of reassurance.

lastly, everyone knows it: virgo moons are like the final boss of small acts of service lol. vacuuming your flat, folding your clothes. they notice the smallest things that could improve your life and happily do them for you!

capricorn moon/10H

this one is tricky. they remind me a bit of taurus but more rough in a sense that they probably won’t pamper you with luxurious baths and gourmet food but they will do things like pay your rent, get you a job or buy a car😂. i’ve noticed them to be a bit grumpy sometimes, definitely not the softest lovers.

they’re up to giving some tough love. pushing you into a scary path that they know will be rewarding in the end. teaching you that even in the hardest lessons of saturn there is light. they’re not the most cheerful on a daily basis but - surprisingly- they are the ones that keep calm in the face of crises. they’re like okay we can’t do anything about it now let’s appreciate what we do have and focus on what we can change.

it’s because they know all to well how karma is. they had to learn it the hard way which made them so strong and resilient.

what i’ve personally noticed: they will stick by your side no. matter. what. this isn’t always a good thing as sometimes it’s best to walk away but if you’re expecting a cap moon to give up on you, don’t.

i also feel like they’re used to being the oldest sibling, the mom friend etc. please take care of them from time to time!

that is all i have for you! thank you for reading💕 i wish all of you lots and lots of love💋 see ya

~Michelle

[ficandkaboodle]

Analyses of Most Ghost Characters be like…

Terzo was a tragic and extremely deep figure who, based off observations provided by his ghouls and Bishop Necropolitis, was a brilliant mind whose ideas were bastardized and squandered, which resulted in a disappointed and bitter husk of a man who still made an effort to display kindness. However, we will likely never truly know the full story of who he was because he lied so damn often.

Most of how we perceive Secondo is arguably the result of Sister badmouthing him as well as ghouls being brutally candid about how he acted in interviews. However, there’s reason to believe Secondo might’ve been just as multifaceted as Terzo, in that he wasn’t being his complete self to the audience. There’s evidence that could suggest Secondo did not enjoy being Papa in its entirety so much as the perks, which were ironically also hindered by him being Papa at the end of the day. It’s not hard to interpret him as someone who might not have enjoyed being a part of the bloodline at the end of the day because of what it meant he had to sacrifice.

Copia is a manchild, likely as a result of how he grew up: Orphaned, likely a social outcast, very likely undiagnosed. As a result, he might’ve become convinced that the only way to rise above it was to become someone worthy of adoration: Papa. But even after he ascended, his troubles didn’t stop: He had to learn his parentage, didn’t address the fact that his brothers were now dead, and spent the last few months he had with the woman he now knew was his mother dissociating because he developed a fear of death. This fear, mind you, that easily ties back into the theorized likelihood that he placed his self-worth into his success. And this is before getting into his willingness to be a puppet —

Papa Nihil’s complexities come in the form of his tendencies to escape reality and the consequences these brought. He was very likely an absent father, which would have had effects on his sons (say, attention-seeking tendencies; a distrust in authority; abandonment issues). In fact, the only things he seems to seek from his youth is his extremely short-lived music career and his unstable relationship with a woman who ultimately kept quiet about their son(s) they conceived together and ultimately played his lust and delusions against him to play nepotism. And by leaning into this, he got his own children killed. He only “became a father” after he died, and it’s sad that he actually seems his most lucid then. What’s all the more mind-boggling and makes you wonder about his tenure is his ability to be in the moment and try and convince Cardi to learn to do the same. It makes you curious: Was Nihil actually a good Papa when he wasn’t distracted?

Sister Imperator is willfully emotionally constipated and will justify it as being “for the good of the church”. She has definitely been affected by her decisions and what she’s done, from her relationship with Nihil to her giving up her babies and watching them at a distance, only interacting from a work standpoint. She lies, keeps secrets, has people killed off, all to tie her spawn into the position as Papa, which is curious considering her position means she’s already above the station of Papa. She does care about Cardi, but she doesn’t care for him the way he needs to be and, as a result, arguably only exacerbates his anxious tendencies. She’s an extremely interesting character but it’s so easy to water her down to just being manipulative and evil.

………………

Analyses of Primo —

Primo is fucking crazy man I don’t — Like, he might be a serial killer; he would punch a panda for profit; we aren’t even entirely certain he’s human like I would legit headcanon that Primo is a changeling and the fandom would run with it because what choice do we have, he honestly actually could be!!!

[meanbossart]

Now I’m thinking about Astarion sitting on Bhaalist DU Drow’s chest and having to pause before and after every cut because there’s a bit of him that fucking hates what his life has become he’s not free, not really, he’s in a gilded cage with a jewel encrusted collar and it’s all the luxury he’s ever dreamed of but it’s not what he wanted

But also… this is the best he’s going to get, isn’t it? He can just sit back and look pretty, and that’s what he did before but at least with Bhaalist Drow he doesn’t have to worry about saying something wrong and being flayed and fed rotten rats.

Would Bhaalist Drow see it? Would he care? That fractional moment of indecision as Astarion thinks a bit too long and a bit too hard about how to handle the blade. That cut that ends/begins right at the corner of his eye, the same eye that held the tadpole that brought them together in the first place.

A subtle twitch of muscle as Astarion imagines for a moment the blade slipping to the wrong side of the socket…

(This got a bit away from me I think)

Hey glad you're having fun with the concept 👹

DU Drow would definitely see it, and he would definitely care, but ever since his pre-tadpole days he's had a supernatural skill for self-inflicted delusion and justification like none other. Once he makes his mind up about someone, it takes truly drastic measures to make him reevaluate his assumptions - this is especially true about romantic interests. Orin was just stubborn, but she would never dream of hurting him and will come around one day to accept his affections. Astarion isn't always satisfied with the limitations imposed upon him, but that's because he's ornery, and a little spoiled, of course he knows deep inside that this is for his own good, that they're soulmates.

All iterations of DU Drow believe in "tough love" and the idea that sometimes, you must do things that hurt your lover for their ultimate benefit. Campaign/post-tadpole DU Drow practices this a lot more reasonably, but as a Bhaalist and the all powerful slayer of the world the concept would be taken to it's worse extreme. Of course Astarion is often unhappy; that's because he doesn't understand the sacrifices that he must make for them, but he will eventually and then he will fall into place.

What he definitely wouldn't do is betray him in any way, just sulk and whine - anything beyond that is a complete impossibility in Du Drow's mind (and that goes for all versions of him, really).

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

Mother Teach, Ed, and Self-Determination CW: Emotive

I want to explore Ed’s mother in the red silk flashback, and its lasting impact on Ed.

Mother Teach begins with the imperative, ‘Feel it, boy’. There seems to be a certain lesson in showing Ed the thing he cannot have, before explaining the rich folk she works for own many items of this quality; so matter of fact as if it’s nature’s law.

When Ed asks in innocence the question, ‘Why can’t we have things like this?’ Mother Teach comes up against an alternate line of thinking which she seems never to have considered. She blinks in what could be surprise before giving what appears to be an obvious answer: ‘It’s up to God. He decides who gets what’. This establishes the idea that life is ‘not up to us’, but controlled by an external locus: God, providence, fate… ‘He decides’.

Mother Teach is conditioned to believe in determinism, and who can blame her. Her life is decided for her. What hope of agency for a poor, indigenous woman in a world run by a rich, white patriarchy? And it’s easier to attribute the decision to God, His unfathomable will. God is also likely and conveniently a rich, white man, so the issues blur somewhat in who is actually doing ‘the determining’; but frankly, the outcome is the same. It is safe to say God isn’t a poor, brown woman.

Ed carries this belief into his future life, struggling with agency, succumbing easily to manipulation; not having beautiful things despite acquiring riches, and giving up quickly in the face of setbacks. The second part of Mother Teach’s explanation, ‘We’re just not those kind of people’ further reinforces Ed’s class and race inferiority, which again he carries painfully into adulthood. These words are spoken with some emotion. We hear the shake in her voice as she acknowledges certain truths about the limitations of their existence.

The impact of his father on Ed’s psyche is largely plain in the cycles of abuse with older white men, but the transmission of generational trauma via Ed’s mother is also significant.

Mother Teach isn’t trying to be cruel. She clearly loves her son, and the silk is a love-token which she possibly took without permission so her child could have at least one chance to look upon and own a ‘beautiful thing’. But her own trauma means she further damages her son’s self-esteem during this interaction. She doesn’t want Ed to be a dreamer or believer in a better life. Best accept your lot, know your place, then you won’t be disappointed. There is a certain wisdom to it; and had she an average son with a dullish mind, it’s probably sound advice in this particular time and place.

But her son isn’t ordinary. He is a genius, an empath, a creative, as well as prone to overthinking and melancholy. His race foremost, and class also, are against him, and that is outside of his control; but everything else is up for grabs with someone as brilliant as Ed if he can find inner worth. He might always have to live within a subculture to find both success and happiness, but he may have done so sooner with a stronger internal locus of control, and belief in his own worth and agency, had he received a different message in childhood.

As it is, he lives a life in the shadows, emulating and enhancing further the toxic masculinity revered in the dominant culture which is so against his true nature. He uses his genius for strategy and theatre to enrich himself for protection and subsistence only, never going beyond and allowing luxury or beauty; and when finally world-weary and screaming for change, finds himself trapped by the ghosts of his childhood, some of whom are reshaped into new human forms.

One of many things which saddens me regarding Ed’s sacrifice in killing his father as an act of protecting his mother is I don’t feel it changed anything much. It was a micro action against a macro problem. If Ed possibly then ran away, his mother would’ve had to do what she always did: find another male protector, possibly a white man to enable a certain social standing, and she would likely be back within a similarly psychological and physically abusive situation. It isn’t inevitable this would happen to a woman in her situation, but it’s the most likely outcome because her choices are so limited. And that’s hugely tragic for both herself and Ed.

It’s often said for Ed, there’s a psychological affinity between Stede and Mother Teach. The rich, white man who is kind and optimistic is everything Ed’s mother could’ve been with those same sociological advantages. Stede is able to self-determine. He is a repressed gay man in a heteronormative society, but much of the world is built with his empowerment in mind, and he is able to take full advantage of that and change his path. Both Stede and Mother Teach love or loved Ed, and in an unequal world, one of them at least is able to model a different way of living; help push open the psychological door enough to allow Ed himself to begin to change his stars, and self-actualise as the person he truly is.

Writing this made me sob…I’m sorry if it does the same for you reading it

[flyingcatstiel]

SuperbatWeek 2024 fic recs

Day 7: FREE DAY!!! Superbat? | Superbat! | Superbat

a song came after by susiecarter [T, 4,500 word count]

It requires every ounce of will he can bring to bear to force himself to meet Clark's eyes. Clark looks shocked; the expression is undiluted by anger or dismay, though perhaps he simply hasn't had time to grasp what just happened. His eyes are wide, round, impossibly blue. Color is rising into his cheeks. His mouth is half-open, slack, with the slightest damp shine where— "That was," Bruce makes himself say, and then stops. Christ, what word can he use? What adjective is there that acknowledges his trespass fully? "Inappropriate." Inadequate, but it's the best he can do, and Clark needs to hear something, needs to know Bruce recognizes his own mistake for what it is. "I apologize. I—"

Comment - This fic starts where usually fics with a similar trope end. Bruce is out of the dream world where he lived happily with his husband Clark. For thirty years. Now he's to deal with the cold reality where Clark is not his beloved. Muscle memory is his biggest enemy.

Conflated by PamiGami [T, 31,900 word count]

“Are you sure you’re feeling quite all right, sir? I was but fairly sure the head hadn't been impacted.” “No… no, please. Listen. I’m in his body, but I’m not him. I can prove it.” Ill at ease, Clark rubbed at the back of his head, not stopping to think about the weird sensation of feeling not his own curls, but somebody else’s hair. The man continued to stare at him with piercing and scolding eyes. “I believe you.” He nodded. “Mister Wayne doesn’t say please this early in the morning.”

Comment - Somehow, Batman and Superman have switched their bodies, their apartments and their day jobs. Clark and Bruce are left to figure out what to do and why they're sharing a body with some random civilian. Identity shenanigans, full throttle.

Just a Formality by FabulaRasa [E, 4,600 word count]

Bruce and Clark get married, for reasons. And then they fall in love. Nope, it's not Victorian time travel! I am straight up about this.

Comment - Clark didn't know that some things on this earth could be as painful as kryptonite. Things like fake marriage.

Saudade by liodain [T, 20,400 word count]

It's midsummer, 2006. In the wake of his son's death, Bruce Wayne tries to outrun his grief on a cross-country road trip. When his car breaks down on a dusty road in the heart of Kansas, a friendly stranger stops to lend a hand.

Comment - A soft, melancholy start to a beautiful long distance friendship between a grieving father and a Kansas youth with a heart of gold. Also known as a fic where Bruce and Clark meet before the events of Man of Steel and it changes everything.

ship-to-ship combat by pomeloquat [M, 76,800 word count]

"Clark. What the hell is this," Lois asks, staring at Clark's Bruceman WIP folder. Clark's first instinct is to fly away, but that would still leave his fic on display for her to see. His second instinct is to blast a hole straight through his laptop screen with his heat vision, which isn't much better. Clark, in an attempt to make some spare cash, unintentionally stumbles into the world of superhero fanfiction, becomes a prolific writer for Gotham's OTP, and tries his best to fend off rival fans who want him to convert to superbat instead.

Comment - Triple identity shenanigans and a love letter to fandom and shippers. This fic has everything - heartbreak, heartache, unrequited feelings in double doses, self sacrifices and near misses, ship wars and RPF. And on top of that, it's the funniest fic I've read across many fandoms, hands down.

tell all the truth (but tell it slant) by susiecarter [M, 33,000 word count]

It takes a while for Batman and Superman to work things out, once Clark comes back from the dead. Pretending to date each other in order to explain why Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent are in the same place so often? Doesn't help as much as you might think.

Comment - When Batman himself is organizing and micromanaging a fake dating narrative to keep their superhero identities secret, what could go wrong? Apparently, everything. It's the worst time of Clark's life, it's the best time. It's a love story.

And last but not least, some spicy superbat fic recs!

Caught In His Gaze by DontStopHerNow [E, 1,500 word count]

This was supposed to be a stakeout to be sure Clark Kent had not lost his mind due to Kryptonite poisoning. Batman gets more of an eyeful than he expected when Clark does what people do alone in their apartments, though. He cannot look away.

What's In A Name? by frozenpotions [E, 15,000 word count]

Clark accidentally walks— or rather, flies in on Bruce enjoying a private moment. He'd probably have an easier time moving past it all if Bruce hadn't been saying Clark's name.

take a pic, strike a pose by shipyrds [E, 5,600 word count]

It’s probably a good thing Clark’s in private, because when he does check his notifications he almost cracks his phone in half. Bruce has sent him a picture. He’s in the suit, in the Batcave, and there’s probably other things happening in the picture, but Clark can’t really see any of those, because Bruce is– posing? Or maybe the camera just caught him like that; maybe he just happened to be catching his cape one-handed, setting off the sinuous curve of his bicep, the Bat logo straining across his chest. -- Bruce sends Clark a pic. Unfortunately, it goes out to some other people too.

My other superbat fic recs are here.

Happy reading!

[goodqueenaly]

I'm sort of curious about your recent post about Baelor the Blessed especially in regards to the mentioned crusade against the North. GRRM has said that, in response to a question about the Faith Militant, that Baelor was a man of peace and was opposed to arming the faith in any facet. This crusade plan by my understanding is mentioned in the same section as the poisoning by Viserys, and I'd taken it to be similarly a vague rumor. What do you think would have prompted him to take such an action?

I think it’s also worth pointing out that the key real world historical parallel GRRM seems to be using for Baelor is Louis IX of France - that is, a known warrior and leader in the Seventh and Eighth Crusades. Nor do I see the portion of TWOIAF discussing Baelor’s would-be crusade to have treated this portion of history as only a “vague rumor”. Rather, the rumors mentioned in that paragraph seem to be about the motives for why Viserys may have poisoned Baelor: after reporting on the “[m]alicious rumors” supposedly spread by Maia Stokeworth that “Viserys poisoned the king in order to finally gain the throne after a decade and more of waiting”, Yandel then says “[o]thers have suggested that Viserys poisoned Baelor for the good of the realm, since the septon-king had come to believe that the Seven called on him to convert all the unbelievers in his realm”. In other words, Yandel doesn’t seem to suggest that the crusade itself was a rumor, only that the idea that Viserys poisoned Baelor to avert this crusade was a rumor.

(And indeed, I think the point of this paragraph was for GRRM to present the idea that Viserys does not have to have been defined by any one motivation to have poisoned his nephew. Like Philip V in The Accursed Kings, I think a primary source of inspiration for him, Viserys can have genuinely wanted the throne, and have genuinely believed he was best suited to rule, and have genuinely thought that only he could save the realm from his nephew.)

Ultimately, I think GRRM is going to present Baelor at the end of his rule as (very loosely) something of a parallel to both Aegon V toward the end of his reign and Jon Snow at the end of ADWD. Yandel notes that “[t]oward the end of the reign, Baelor began to spend more and more time fasting and praying, attempting to make up for all the sins and offenses he believed he and his subjects were committing against the Seven on a daily basis” - an increasingly extreme expression of Baelor’s zealotry. In turn, just as Aegon V, though not by nature a destructive warmonger, “ever more convinced that only with dragons would he ever wield sufficient power to make the changes he wished to make in the realm and force the proud and stubborn lords of the Seven Kingdoms to accept his decrees” - ending in the conflagration of Summerhall - so I think Baelor, though initially a peacemaker, grew convinced that his own self-sacrifice was not enough, and only the total elimination of “unbelievers” would be sufficient to restore the realm’s relationship with the Seven. Similarly, just as Jon’s declaration of war against Ramsay Snow (along with the Hardhome march) proved the final motivation for the initially (though quite reluctantly) loyal but increasingly distrusting and ultimately treacherous Bowen Marsh to assassinate Jon (or, rather, to put into action an assassination plot he was already almost certainly developing), so I think Prince Viserys saw the declaration of or plan for a religious crusade by Baelor as the final reason he needed to get rid of a nephew I think he had increasingly resented as a naive, impractical fool.

[neat-crows]

For some reason I've seen a lot of people disliking the way Jessica Jones season 1 ends. The vibe I've seen is that it wasn't epic enough, it was underwhelming, and that it was too simple and fast and Killgrave would be too smart to fall for it. etc etc.

I think these takes miss the point though. This is the only way he could have gone out, BECAUSE it wasn't an attempt to outsmart him at all.

The whole point is that Killgrave wasn't an epic villain, he was a weird misogynistic little control freak that was obsessed with owning Jessica because he couldn't stand that she was her own person.

The whole season is a game of cat and mouse between them, and you can see just how smart both of them are - they are both equally powerful and intelligent, BUT killgrave literally didn’t need to be doing this at all! He could have left ANY time, he didn’t have to send Hope after her, he could have left before the house, or after he escaped, or after the nightclub, literally WHENEVER

His obsession with controlling Jessica was always his downfall

She was the executioner, but in the end he brought it all on himself

He didn’t get an epic ending because it’s not ABOUT him and because he didn’t need one. It was never about outsmarting or overpowering him, it was about his incessant need for control and Jessica making a decision.

And it works SO WELL not just because it makes good commentary, but also because it mirrors exactly how Killgrave tried to get her to bend to his will; both of them aimed for each other’s emotional weak point - but killgrave failed because he doesn’t actually know or understand Jessica at all, just the version of her he made up in his head and made her play act like a little doll for him

He thinks her weakness is a hero complex, because the first time they meet she’s saving Malcolm from some muggers and killgrave asks her if it felt good to beat up those men, she says yes, and when he asks why she says

“Because I helped someone”

And he’s such an inherently selfish person that to him that translates to a hero complex - He can’t imagine a person who just wants to save people, not to bolster their self worth or to in some way help theme selves. He’s spent his entire life only doing things because he wanted to, because it brought HIM satisfaction, that the idea that someone might willingly do Anything that’s not to make them feel better doesn’t even cross his mind.

And that’s why at the house he shows her the (curated) videos of his childhood, why he “respects” her wishes about not hurting the nosy neighbor, why he goes and saves that family with her, and is genuinely helpful. His tactic to get her to stay with him is to show her how his powers can be used for good, show her he’s also a person who can experience pain and love and joy, and then make her ‘realize’ if she stays with him she could make him a hero and good person. Because he thinks she will sacrifice herself for him and for society if he presents it as a way to atone and heal her guilt.

But Jessica refuses. She betrays him and takes her own route while knowing if she had given up all her autonomy she could have made him a good person and saved countless lives. (I don’t think this was ever actually achievable but she believed it was so the point stands)

Jessica jones has a lot of problems, but a hero complex isn’t one of them.

But Jessica jones DOES know his weakness, his real weakness, her. Controlling the only person who could defy him. And yes it is an obvious and see through plan - Killgrave even calls it out! But then in order to prove she’s faking what does he do? He assaults Trish - and when she continues following his orders he FULLY believes it and completely lets down his guard.

Why? It’s such an obvious trick! He’s supposed to be clever!!!! Well it worked so well because he clearly WANTED to believe it so bad (self admittedly), he was drunk on his own power, he wanted to believe his own strength and he wanted to own Jessica again. But also because again

He thinks Jessica has a hero complex

Her allowing this to happen to her friend ? Jessica jones would never do this! He knows her so well! She just Can’t Help but Help people! If she was faking her helplessness this would have broken her out of it! (Also there’s the whole level of the jealousy he has of Trish and the love Jessica and Trish share but that’s for another post)

And so he dies, small, unable to speak, not being told he’s loved, with a simple snapped neck from a cheap, unplanned ploy, that was thought up on the spot. Just as he deserved.

[lurkingshan]

On Boston and Brian Kinney

I’ve seen a lot of folks in the Only Friends tag recently making connections between the show and Queer as Folk, both US and UK versions, which makes sense because QaF is a clear reference for the show, both visually and thematically, and we know Jojo likes to reference western media in his work. One parallel folks are drawing is not tracking for me, however, so I am jumping in the wayback machine and putting on my old QaF stan hat to talk to y’all about Brian Kinney, and why Boston is actually nothing like him. Tagging @bengiyo and @neuroticbookworm who talked this through with me and also @slayerkitty because I saw you were contemplating this connection between the two characters.

So, first, why are people making this comparison? It really boils down to one thing: Brian and Boston are both sluts. That’s… pretty much it. They both like sex and prefer to have it with many different partners, and neither has much use for monogamy. But this is pretty much where their similarities end. 

So let’s remind ourselves who Brian Kinney is: a kind of fantasy of a hot, rich, self-actualized gay man with unmatched sexual prowess and a surface level flippancy masking a heart of gold. Brian is an adult man with a thriving career and money that he earned for himself after leaving his abusive and homophobic family (who would eventually explicitly reject him because of his sexuality). As a result, he is defiant in his commitment to live his life as loudly and queerly as possible—which includes a dedication to fucking and sucking, public sex, and a rejection of heteronormative constructs like monogamy.

Brian has a very clear moral code he lives by, even if it’s not one most can relate to. He decides to have a son with his (lesbian) best friend because part of him wants to believe in a better future and build a family of his own. He is extremely loyal to his found family even as he’s a jerk to their face most of the time, and he is always working behind the scenes to protect them even as he often hurts their feelings with his glib remarks and shitty behavior. Despite his disdain for monogamy, he never actually tries to destroy any of his friends’ happy relationships (in fact, he tries to sacrifice his own friendship with Michael to ensure he stays with his boyfriend).

Brian has a sense of responsibility to others and often takes on the blame for things he didn’t even do, which is why he takes baby gay Justin to Debbie and ensures he is cared for even as he tries to dissuade Justin from getting attached to him, and why he cares for Justin in the aftermath of his bashing. He cares deeply about his community, to the point where he pours his money into protecting the local gay scene, literally bankrupts himself to stop an anti-gay politician from winning an election, and gives up a dream job to stay put in Pittsburgh and help rebuild the community after a hate crime.

Brian is unflinchingly honest and he avoids making promises because once he does, he knows he will absolutely keep them—he takes his commitments seriously and he always does what he says he will. When he falls in love, he does not abandon his core values but he is willing to make some compromises. And he hides his better self and often wallows in self-destructive behavior because he feels deeply unworthy of love, which goes back to the intergenerational trauma he experienced as a child in an abusive home and the parental rejection he felt due to his sexuality. 

Boston, by contrast, is a character who feels more rooted in reality. He’s a pampered rich kid who is indulged in his hobbies and who already has a life plan laid out for him and paid for by his daddy. He likes to sleep around mostly because it’s fun, and because he knows his life here is temporary so he doesn’t see any point in getting attached to people. In stark contrast to Brian’s out and proud and fuck you if you have a problem with it brand of politics, he is still trying to hide who he is in service of his father’s political career, even if he’s pretty sloppy about it (see him fucking Top in a car with giant windows parked in the driveway at a house party).

Boston’s moral code is fungible and ever-changing to fit his circumstances—boy is a hypocrite (see his opinions about people filming and photographing him even as he does the same to others constantly). He has no loyalty and no qualms about hurting and betraying his friends, and actively tries to destroy their relationships for sport or as a means to get what he wants. He does not feel responsible for anyone and often lies and ducks accountability for the things he does. He does not care about his community at all, and in fact already has a NYC escape hatch in his back pocket for when he inevitably burns his bridges. He is not as honest as Brian and sends a lot of mixed messages to keep people guessing and on the hook.

Rather than hurting people by being brutally honest as Brian does, Boston plays psychological games and manipulates his friends and lovers, and he seems to take twisted pleasure in blowing up their happiness. We haven’t seen him make a promise or fall in love, and while there are some signs that he may have some sort of inferiority complex at play (with Mew in particular), his motives are not tied to any past trauma. Boston is just a messy bitch who loves chaos and doesn’t really care who gets hurt as long as he gets what he wants and stays entertained. Where Brian is literally a superhero to his loved ones, Boston is just a very flawed human being. 

But Shan, I hear you saying, I thought you liked Boston! I do, besties, I do. He’s a fantastic character and a very real kind of person many of us encounter in our 20s. Because that’s the thing: Boston is so young. He hasn’t developed any sense of responsibility to others or any understanding of the importance of queer community, and he has never had to take care of himself, which is perhaps the biggest difference between him and Brian. Brian has lived independently for more than a decade when we meet him in QaF, whereas Boston is a spoiled rich kid who has barely lived. Brian is a fully realized adult and his more nuanced characterization is a reflection of that; Boston is actually a pretty basic chaotic drama queen who will grow up eventually. 

TL;DR: Aside from being promiscuous, Boston has very little in common with Brian Kinney. He is more a reflection of a very real kind of person you will meet on the scene in queer communities than an homage to a larger than life fictional QaF character. And while OF is absolutely referencing some of the themes and values and stylistic flourishes of QaF, it is not making direct parallels to its characters. 

[uchihaharlot]

Heyooo, how are you, bro?

I hope your health is better now!

I have one innocent request.

"How would all Uchiha act if they finds out that you are self-harming?" (Mostly Madara pls😏)

I don't know if it's allowed topic... but yeah.

NSFW; TW self harm; minor mentions of injury; small prologue;

Before I go into this hc, I want to expressly tell anyone who reads this; whether we are mutuals or not. Whether you like my writing, like me or don’t or whatever.

My blog is a safe haven. You can openly message me, befriend me on discord (ask for my handle) or interact in the comments. If you feel like there are people who don’t care enough as they should. I just want to say that, I do. I don’t know who you are, what you’re doing. But I love you. Do not think for a single iota that your existence is merely coincidence, I’m not by any means a holier than thou individual and I’ve had my fair share of this isn’t worth living for: but trust me; it is and then some.

Madara:

Madara comes from an era where you put your best fist forward when things aren’t right. His level of resolve is steel cut and unwavering…but seeing you hurt yourself as an outlet, doesn’t sit well with Madara. And he’s into good old fashioned methods of healing…sorta. Expect to be tied up to his bed; not in the way you’d like either. For days he will keep you there, turning your body so you won’t get bed sores. Feeding you and letting you up to the toilet fa few times a day, and once at night if needed. All of this until you finally talk it out with him, and agree to find a better solution to figuring out how to express your feelings/pain. Insists on being around you every second of the day.

Obito:

I won’t lie, seeing you hurt yourself this way; it makes him cry. Do you want Obito to cry!? He’s inconsolable when you won’t even consider him as a vent source. And, while he won’t selfishly make it about him. He will openly admit most (ok all) of his faults in the hopes you would share your own. Whatever it is, Obito is sure that there are far better way to convey the message you want to share. Suffering in silence is only so fool proof.

Shisui:

No. No, no. No. Shisui one hundred percent won’t stand for it, and despite your protests of him almost catapulting himself off a cliff, he will tell you the error of his ways. Undoubtedly will make sure that you understand that even his own potential sacrifice would have been fruitless, and that you shouldn’t compare apples to oranges. And from there, Shisui will spend countless hours, days and nights proving to you just how sacred human life is. He inadvertently blames himself for some of this, you mentioning his almost demise opens old wounds and Shisui takes the opportunity for you both to grow and evolve. He wants to be a role model; not the reason you justify it.

Itachi:

In a way; he’s bereaved. This is highly unusual for you, and Itachi’s keen eyes (and new prescription glasses) catch a glimpse of your fresh wounds as he lightly snatches your arm. ‘Why would you do this?’ and ‘that’s not a logical reason to purposely harm yourself.’ Are a few of his stern words to you. Itachi is a no nonsense man, and he won’t tolerate you hurt yourself. If he was a true jerk, like he tricked many to believe for the longest time; he’d put you in Tsukuyomi and really give you something to think about. But instead, he inundated you day in and day out with his concern. Hoping that if you see one person who cares; you will eventually open up.

Sasuke:

Sasuke, traumatized by his older brother—not once but twice and more, lived in excruciating detail his own parents death, several times over. In the matter of three seconds; he understands your grief. Whatever you might be going through, I think when it comes to seeing other people suffering—especially as adult Sasuke, he can’t cope with it, and rarely did for himself. Which is sort of mkes him the besy person for this. He also doesn’t mince words and tells you straight out that you’re only causing yourself more harm in the long run. His method of cut and dry reality checks come in waves, when you think he’s not watching you, he’s right there. Don’t under estimate his capabilities. You’re on his radar and Sasuke won’t hesitate to use his techniques to get you talking; the sooner you find the root cause of your problems. The better, take it from someone who let their pain fester until it boiled over, it’s not worth it.

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

If Nettles was white, she would be as popular as Lyanna, Brienne or Arya, and y’all know it.

She grew up a homeless orphan (which is why it’s so insulting when people try to act like she’s a freaking idiot who doesn’t know how to bathe herself yet she can tame a dragon🤦🏽‍♀️ Put most of the highborn women in her position and they wouldn’t survive a day in her shoes).

She’s the only known non-Valyrian dragonrider who claims a wild dragon. A prince who believes in Valyrian supremacy falls in love with her to the point where he’s willing to sacrifice his life for her. Nettles singlehandedly disproves the whole idea of Targaryen exceptionalism and their blood purity. She slowly earns a dragon’s trust by bringing him sheep, and gradually he lets her closer, and then forms the dragonrider bond and lets her fly. up until this point, nobody had tried a strategy like that before.

Nettles is self-made. She’s self-taught. She’s loved for herself. She survives a freaking war and becomes a fire goddess/witch. Who wouldn’t want her ? Who wouldn’t want to be her ? Unlike Rhaenyra and Alicent, she’s the final girl of F&B.

Once again, I don't understand where you got that I'm anti Nettles? I'm anti Nettles x Daemon, but other than that theory, I very much am a fan of Nettles as a character. I won't say that there isn't racism and unfairness that happen regarding Nettles' character (though I haven't seen it personally), because people can be really shitty. But me personally, again, I'm not anti Nettles, I just dislike certain groups of her stans.

Again, I don't deny that Nettles was a strong woman. She endured many things most characters in F&B don't and most likely survived the Dance. However, I do disagree with some of the ideas you're stating as fact.

For starters, we don't know if Nettles is non-Valyrian; that's one of the many theories surrounding her, but it's not confirmed, so stating it as fact is misleading. Just because she lacks traditional Valyrian features doesn't means she isn't a dragonseed.

Jace and his brothers don't look Valyrian but they very obviously are of Valyrian descent. Rhaenys, the queen who never was, had black hair; Duncan the son of Aegon V looked like his mother, Betha Blackwood; Aegor Rivers also had black hair; Baelor Breakspear had dark hair; Daeron son of Maekar had sandy brown hair; Rhaenys the daughter of Rhaegar had her mother, Elia Martell's features.

Moving on, Daemon's relationship with Nettles is ambiguous. We don't know if they were in a romantic relationship or if his attack on Aemond was purely to save her (though I'm sure that was part of his decision). Again, you are stating a theory you believe as fact, even though it's unconfirmed.

I'm not going to touch the whole thing of Targaryen exceptionalism, because, as I said earlier, Nettles' parentage is unconfirmed. But the whole blood purity thing still hasn't been disproven at any point of GRRM's works; they intermarried to preserve their magic blood, the magic blood still exists in ASOIAF due to the incest.

Nettles is an important character in the story of the Dance, but she isn't the "final girl" you claim she is, let alone of the whole book. There are several dragon riders who survived the Dance and thrived. Rhaena is the ancestor of the Tyrells in the main series. Aegon III is the ancestor of Daenerys, the Baratheons, any remaining Blackfyres, and possibly Jon Snow and Young Griff. Baela and Alyn are the ancestors of Aurane Waters and the Velaryons.

The book of F&B is so much more than the Dance of the Dragons. Saying that Nettles is the "final girl" of the book doesn't make any sense when she only appears in a few sections. That's like saying Alys Rivers is actually the main character of the book. Nettles disappears after the Dance and doesn't appear in any other event. She does nothing else after her disappearance and has relatively little impact on the history of Westeros post Dance.

I have absolutely no idea where you're getting the whole "fire goddess/witch" thing. However, you have already been throwing out theories and your personal biases as fact, so I don't think it matters. I'm not trying to control who your fav is, I totally understand wanting to be a certain book character. But that doesn't mean you can act like everyone else is wrong for not having the same fav as you.

It's that kind of entitlement, thinking you're better than everyone else that makes people not like Nettles stans. It's almost on par with stansas and Alicent stans. People like you project so hard onto your favs, you take any perceived insult, critique, or argument as a personal attack. It's exhausting interacting with people like you.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

You might’ve already got this before, and I’m asking this in genuinely good faith.

Your essay was very interesting, and convinced me of Erikar as a ship reading. I also really enjoyed your dissection of Eridan as a very honest person drawn into destructive behavior. It very much lines up with his status as a Prince of Hope! One who destroys conviction/belief through conviction/belief.

What confused me was your insistence on the hidden hand of the author. Death of the Author and all that, what’s implied in the text can be taken on its own separate from commentary but you seem to be doing an autopsy— the text implies [this] so *Hussie* must have intended for [this] and then tried to cover it up. If they genuinely thought it was a better ending, why not do it? Why the secrecy, why the feints? I think it’s a little conspiracy-brained to insist on a secret “better ending” that we don’t have author’s word or drafts on.

I’m also a little drifted on your frustration with the deaths of the trolls? You write that the theme of Homestuck— a standard coming-of-age story, a reckoning with society and the exit from youth— is undercut by the deaths of the trolls, because that means they *had* to die, in *punishment*. I disagree. Their deaths are tragic, not just.

Homestuck has a lot of methods of revival, the choice to (for the most part) perma-kill some characters (the trolls for one, and then AR, WQ, and WK) is a deliberate choice to make death mean something. If dying doesn’t mean anything, what are the narrative stakes? Murderstuck marks Gamzee as a threat, Eridan as a tragedy. The deaths there are meant. To be sad. To demonstrate that sometimes kids don’t get to grow up, that sometimes the society they live in cuts them down.

Homestuck is a sad story at times! It doesn’t need an ending where everyone gets to live to keep its coming-of-age conclusion.

I hope this made sense. I’m not trying to attack you, I’m just skeptical of some of your points. I hope you go on to do more analysis in the future!

If you want to believe that, go ahead 👍 again, arguing my points on that front would require its own entire essay, lol, so I'm not really planning to do that as the answer to an ask. The only thing I really want to say here is that while Homestuck is often sad, as you say, its underlying tone is unwaveringly hopeful right up until Game Over/the Retcon, and even kind of beyond that. If you prefer a sad story, then you can have a sad story, but it's just not a reading consistent (to me) with the entire rest of what Homestuck is.

For example, the whole narrative grapples with the debate of predestination vs. free will. Do things happen in Homestuck because they have to, or because characters are making choices? But with the introduction of John's retcon powers, it lands firmly in the "free will" side of the debate: the retcon powers outright defy the power of stable time loops - a reflection of how Breath is associated with freedom and choice. This is the optimistic option.

Another thing the narrative grapples with is the realness vs. fakeness of magic. I don't think it's hard to argue that between LE's "evil wizard" status and Godtier!Calliope's wand-induced black hole that the arrow falls firmly in the realm of magic being undeniably real. This is the optimistic option (and yet another narrative element that Eridan is extremely relevant to).

Moreover, even post-Retcon, there are elements that are kept that soften the tragedy already present in the story - for example, the concept of the Ultimate Self, and the implication that all surviving characters will eventually achieve it, takes the edge off all their doomed and dead counterparts, who won't actually be relegated to double death in the dream bubbles, since in a way, they'll live on through their alpha counterparts. It turns those sacrifices from bitter to bittersweet, and serves as a counterpoint to common takes like John being sad that he doesn't know the version of his friends that exist post-Retcon. The inclusion of it in the post-Retcon story, even with its botched delivery, says to me that Homestuck is still intended to be optimistic at its core, even with the extreme Giving Up that Hussie did.

And let's not forget how Calliope gets to come back to life, no strings attached, and that her stated purpose is only to live. Up to the end, the tone is that of HOPE, and I think there's no mistake that HOPE is supposed to be what defeats LE.

As I said in replies on that post, as an artist, I just can't imagine spending literal years, and literally a million words and thousands of images, writing something that's so thematically and tonally consistent, only to hard swerve right at the end, without extenuating circumstances.

And the thing is, there WERE extenuating circumstances, and they're fairly well-documented.

The kickstarter got funded, and while the story is muddled, we know the production of the game was extremely troubled, and Hussie was having difficulty being a project lead for that while also grappling with everything else. Everything else being, of course, an ever-increasing number of irons in the fire - more third-party artists he had to commission and manage, more merchandise he had to be on top of, bigger updates to sate the demands of the fanbase.

Which, speaking of, was infamously one of the most awful and toxic fanbases to ever exist, and one that Hussie has deliberately attempted to distance himself from since. I can't imagine the kind of daily abuse, harassment, callouts, and worse that Hussie had to endure as Homestuck's creator during the fandom's peak years. I don't blame him at all for turning against them.

Therefore, given the way the tone and themes hard swerve, the way several characters get bent entirely out of shape (you're telling me Karkat had several means before him of bringing his dead friends back and WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING???), the way several plot threads are simply left dangling in the air, and the way some characters reach really weird and unpleasant conclusions (davepeta, gcatavrosprite), I think it's actually LESS reasonable to assume that the ending we got was the original plan. Hussie saw that to do the ending he wanted to do back in act 4, he'd need to write for a year, maybe two years more, and then looked at his mounting stress and pressure, and looked at the fanbase he'd come to hate, and just went "nope." And I can't even really blame him for it, lol. In his position I'd probably do the same.

Also, please don't mistake "the deaths are undone" for "the deaths will not have mattered" - I think there's a reason that the game over timeline characters still exist post-Retcon. Their arcs don't end with their deaths, and their failures are weights on them that must be narratively resolved - I believe that they go on to be the ones to defeat LE, although I have much less evidence to support this. It just makes narrative sense to me - the post-retcon team focuses down the Felt, various Jack Noirs, and the Condesce - the latter of which is their final boss, as the ultimate representation of the shitty society they're doing away with on their path to creating a new one.

Meanwhile, the dead and "irrelevant" versions of the characters, the ones who grappled with and were harmed the most by what LE represents - immaturity, selfishness, and cruelty - go on to band together after death, and defeat him in the bubbles, a culmination of their vengeance for the havoc he wreaked. And with him being destroyed in the bubbles by the dead and irrelevant, symbolically, he will be rendered nothing more than a bad dream for the waking, relevant, and alive.

Thus Gamzee is still an antagonist, although it becomes (Gamzee) and (Equius) who go on to form LE. Those deaths and those failures still matter, they still happen, they still have narrative weight. Even without the Game Over versions of the characters still existing and still being important, the decision to welcome antagonists like Gamzee and Eridan back into the fold is rendered more complex and more significant BECAUSE we've seen how badly they can go.

The speech originally given by post-Retcon Vriska to (Vriska) is also, to me, a weird artifact of this hypothetical original ending - as it exists within the actual comic, it's said by the wrong person to the wrong person - Vriska with her character development reset to a (Vriska) who's had her characterization destroyed in order to make the first Vriska seem more right. I think originally, it would've come from (Karkat) to Meenah, the latter of which being the one whose idea it was to fuck off with the treasure, and who caused the Beforus team's worst problems, and who has a track record of fucking off whenever she's tasked with taking responsibility. Thus, it would serve as a conclusion to Meenah and Karkat's arc, as well as Game Over Sadkat's arc specifically, would convince Vriska to go with him, and would give Meenah some narrative commeuppance, which would kickstart some sort of Beforan troll feelings jam that would rally them together to actually be useful for once in their lives/afterlives and contribute to the LE fight.

Again, if you PREFER the sad ending, I can't stop you, but the reason I'm going in on there being an "original ending" that isn't sad is because the sad ending doesn't make narrative sense. Why is the ultimate self speech coming from a combination of two characters that barely spoke? Why is it triumphant that Meenah and character-development-reset Vriska get to be the big goods in the fight with LE? Why do multiple prophecies suddenly get dropped right at the end when all other prophecies DO come true? Why does Karkat spend so long being sad his friends are dead, and also why is he deliberately set up as the Friends Troll (blood = bonds), and then suddenly not care that multiple methods exist for bringing back his friends? Why bother softening the blow of all the dead/irrelevant alternate selves if they're intended to be fully tragic? Why introduce a mechanic that would let them save whoever they want consequence-free and then not use it to do that? Why does Roxy love wizards so much and then not get to meet the wizard boy? Why is the entire rest of Homestuck so carefully crafted, so narratively satisfying, so thematically and tonally consistent, and then all of it goes to shit right at the end?

So yeah lol this is the SHORT version lol this isnt even the LONG version of this essay

[absolutesilly]

Tgcf fandom likes to talk about morals and such. We have folks who are the obvious clear good guys like xie lian and feng xin. And then we have hua cheng who is completely neutral. And then we get the morally grey like he Xuan and shi Wudu. And then we have mu Qing…. Which he’s not obliviously good like the other two xianle. But he’s never done an act that’s morally despicable… and he’s not like hua cheng either. What do you think of this topic? And what do you conclude on Mu Qing morality? lol sorry if this sounds like an exam question ☠️☠️☠️

hello there! :) i really appreciate the question!!

to start, i just wanna say that the tgcf fandom’s obsession with morals has always kinda driven me crazy, to be honest! in my opinion, flattening a whole bunch of very complicated characters into clear cut “good guys” and “bad guys” tends to feed into circular arguments about whose fave is the most morally pure and “right”—which isn’t very productive. having said that, though, mu qing’s specific morality really interests me, so let’s chat about it!

to me, mu qing is one of the most realistic characters in the novel, morality wise. he’s pragmatic and driven by self-preservation—which makes sense considering that he was born into extreme poverty with a sickly mother and an executed criminal for a father. he has to succeed and provide for himself and his mother, or they will starve. this is the reality he was born into! underlying all of his choices is the need to survive, at any cost.

but more than just being driven by self-preservation, he’s self-interested. mu qing is ambitious! he wants more for himself!! he isn’t satisfied just being someone’s servant, he wants to stand on his own as xie lian’s equal!!! (this is the crux of why they couldn’t actually be friends until the end of the novel… but that’s an essay for another day lmao)

anyway! mu qing protects himself first because he doesn’t trust anyone else to do it for him. he knows his worth and he leaves when he feels he isn’t being valued.

however, being self-interested does not mean that mu qing is selfish—though he’s often accused of it, both in-universe and out. i think many of the “selfish” accusations (from fans at least) come from the contrast between him and the rest of the xianle quartet, who are all nuts for self-sacrifice. feng xin is still struggling to break himself out of the “devoted bodyguard” mindset, 800 years after xie lian kicked him to the curb. hua cheng has LITERALLY died for his beloved, multiple times. and xie lian, of course, is Mr. Self-Sacrifice himself!

so naturally, a character like mu qing—who places a clear and high value on his own life—stands out a lot compared to them!

but it’s this very self-interest that makes his actions at the end of the novel SO powerful and so telling for who he is as a character. mu qing, THE self-preservation and self-interest guy, risks his life multiple times to save the people he cares about. he takes on a cursed shackle rather than betraying xie lian! he stays and tries to help everyone even though he fully believes that they all hate him and want him dead! he almost DIES just to buy xie lian a few more minutes of escape time! these are all acts of genuine love and selflessness.

of course, mu qing’s big self-sacrifice moments at the end aren’t the only time he does good!! he helps a lot throughout the novel—or at least attempts to help. many of his altruistic actions are either misconstrued by people’s assumptions about him/his own poor communication, or they blow up in his face. but he is very often trying to help!!

i think that’s the crux of mu qing for me: he’s trying. in spite of his cynicism, he KEEPS trying to be a good person! even though basically no one believes in him.

he’s not perfect. he’s mean and unpleasant (i say this with deep affection) and sometimes his pragmatism hurts the people he loves most. case in point: the 33 gods incident on the auspicious land. (though i could also write ANOTHER essay on how this was a complicated and unwinnable situation for both him and xl to be in, and ultimately i think his choice was sad but completely understandable… but i digress. essay for another time.)

anyway! if you’ve gotten this far! my overall verdict is: mu qing is complicated. he’s an imperfect person trying to be good, and i think that’s why i find him so interesting. he makes good choices and bad choices, as we all do!

i think a great many fans would do well to be a little more charitable in their assessment of him. when push comes to shove, many of us are more mu qing than we are xie lian. and there’s nothing wrong with that! ;)

[swagcoolcat]

So starting this post off by saying I’m an AuDHD Michael truther and an autistic Jeremy truther and this post is about those headcanons.

SO

In my eyes, Jeremy is unaware that he’s autistic. Jeremy’s dad, while I do believe he tries his best, wouldn’t- in my eyes- think to look into Jeremy’s behaviors. Perhaps Jeremy’s dad is also autistic so he wouldn’t even realize Jeremy’s behaviors are different from the norm. Or perhaps if he’s not, he just thinks it’s a kid/teenager thing that Jeremy may eventually grow out of. Or perhaps he thinks that’s just how Jeremy is (which like- it IS but I mean he doesn’t think there’s any reason for it).

Jeremy’s mom I also don’t think would try to get him a diagnosis. Based on what little we do know about her, it seems pretty unlikely.

Michael, however, I think is aware that he’s autistic at least, and perhaps of his ADHD as well. Even if Michael isn’t diagnosed, I think he’s looked into it enough that he knows, but I also think his moms would be open to diagnosis for him to get him the support he would need.

With these two ideas together, I think it adds to their differing arcs in the musical.

Jeremy knows he’s weird. Jeremy knows he’s a loser. Jeremy knows he doesn’t fit in. But he doesn’t know why. It’s not as if he hasn’t tried, but he doesn’t understand what his problem is, so he doesn’t know how to fix it. Then the SQUIP comes in, and while it doesn’t explicitly state Jeremy is autistic in the show, I think it knows, and it also knows that for Jeremy to “be more chill” he needs to come across as “normal” or non-autistic. It doesn’t explain to Jeremy what it’s doing in that regard. It just does it.

Contrast that with Michael. Michael has his issues with being a social outcast, but he’s gotten to the point where he’s somewhat accepted it. Michael knows he’s weird, he knows he’s a loser, and he knows he doesn’t fit in, just like Jeremy, but the difference is he also knows why. He understands that his differences are a part of who he is, and it’s not worth it to sacrifice that just to fit in.

I think about it in lines such as “Michael thinks that weird is rad, but feeling weird just makes me sad” - Michael embraces his differences because they’re HIM, but Jeremy doesn’t understand his differences and wants to change them so he can finally fit in.

Or “[You] don’t care about being popular.” “Of course I care! I just know it’s never gonna happen.” “So you resent me because I didn’t give up like you did?” “I don’t resent you. I’m jealous you try.” “Well I’m jealous you don’t.” - Jeremy wishes it was as easy for him to embrace being different as it seems to be for Michael, but how hard must it be to embrace your differences when you don’t understand them? On the other side though, Michael, while having accepted his own social status as a loser, does wish it was as easy for him as it seems to be for Jeremy to move up in the social hierarchy.

Then I think about how Jeremy sees Christine (who I also HC as AuDHD but only aware of the ADHD which she got diagnosed with as a kid) being SQUIPed, and he sees her differences being suppressed, and he immediately sacrifices his own wellbeing to save her. He knows she’s not herself. He fell in love with the Christine that’s weird and different, not the neurotypical Christine that’s being placed in front of him. I imagine seeing what the SQUIP does to her would play a big part in him learning to accept himself post musical.

I also think this experience would help him eventually learn of his own autism. Perhaps he’d seek a diagnosis, or perhaps he’d stick with his self-diagnosis.

I don’t know I love interpreting characters as autistic and seeing the ways it can affect them in canon.

[5-7-9]

(Disclaimer: i am ignoring every part i found stupid or unnecessary. Also i have a picture limit 😔)

Duke obviously met Batman/Wayne first but I’m skipping that. So he met Alfred secondly, in an uncharacteristic particular way. (As much as I’m confused as to why Alfred, someone who’s against Bruce being Batman would employ child soldiers himself, and I believe in the self motivated movement of children, this is technically canon).

Alfred made a deal with Duke to do vigilantism and he’d help him do it (he also promised to help find his parents but Duke managed it himself). Alfred saved WAR from an Owl assassin with a tank. WAR was very distrusting of being lead by a mysterious man, so they eventually stopped listening after they stopped a school shooting Alfred ordered not to. Eventually Duke reveals he figured out Alfred’s identity, linking back to Duke’s puzzle solving trait. Now the Robins: Dick’s first interaction with Duke is him chastises children wearing his symbol. Dikc, speaking like the truly privileged man he is, acts like WAR is childish for trying to help out. Now, is WAR irresponsible? Yes. Solid advice although ominous. It’s just extremely impersonal to their feelings and lives and motivations.

Since the first interaction Duke ever has with the other Robins, it was Damian that had a very particular dynamic. Damian hated the We Are Robins movement.

If you don’t already know, Damian’s primary characterization is his insistence that he must inherit his honour. One of primary reasons why he takes up the Robin mantle is because he believes it is his right to do so.

Another interesting dynamic was Jason’s and Tim’s reaction to WAR

Notably, Jason Todd was fully on board for WAR on the basis of it’s outside influence from Batman. Understandable considering Jason’s tense relationship from Batman, and his anti-hero status. Tim Dranke on the otherhand, doesn’t have any say to WAR’s existance, as his opinion is interrupted by mentioning Dick’s plot. Or more likely, he doesn’t have an opinion to comment on, which is why he only mentions facts of like the location of where the Robins are.

Again, Jason Todd is extremely supportive of WAR and Damian is not (inbred is a bit much 💀). But Tim Drake still insists on trying to better understand the WAR children, taking a neutral and outsider understanding of the situation. Tim does not support WAR immediately. In fact, despite Tim’s insistence to understand WAR, he never gets the chance to.

This the last and only time Tim ever even tries talking with WAR, during a sneak in. Apparently he couldn’t have done this during his time training the Robins, but doing it while working is fine. His terrible conversation starter gets interrupted, and that is the last and only time Drake ever tries connecting with WAR. Apparently monitoring their private lives was not enough information, all he knows is somebody can play the piano. So much for trying. (Tom King wrote this part tho, so I feel he was supposed to be the one to make it happen, which didn’t happen, so Tom did a horrible job). (I’m ignoring the scene where Tim downplays Izzy because Izzy was OOC).

Dami beat up the WAR members and agitated them into battle. Another show of Dami’s honor culture, but what was so fascinating was how Duke and the WARs fought back to prove themselves although not wishing to fight.

Skipping to when Dami and Duke get captured, they funnily enough get put into the same cage as Duke insults Dami in his mind while having a reasonable outer dialogue which i found fun.

Despite the weird court of owl part, Duke’s dialogue was a great way to finish off the tension between the official Robins and the WARs. Duke realizes how personal Robin is to Dami, how the symbol is not just about justice, but the ties to Batman it comes with. Y’know what Duke does? He cuts it off. He refuses to sacrifice himself to become a symbol.

They end off on good terms after that. With Dami reclaiming the title of Robin (and WAR’s disbandment), the conflict is gone. But I think it’s worth noting just how much Dami’s influence on Duke’s view of Robin might’ve been. Being Robin kinda sucks. So out of pity, Duke realizes Dami needs some loving support.

(Not a batfam kid but she was in here and I’m working by chronological order). Kate and Duke have a small interaction but they definitely met. Plus I think Duke was retconned to have known Luke through his dad and I think that’s a great addition.

Skips ahead where Jayson seems to train with Duke, their sass competitions tho 💀 Also, Jayson considers Duke as one of his brothers 😆

Classic Alfred advice talks

(You’ll notice that the writers decided to skip showing Duke’s development, this is why we need fanfiction thanks). Basically, Duke started hanging out with Cass for seemingly no reason, but they are a really fun dynamic. Plus Duke got to know Babs first through Cass. (I'm ignoring when Riko met Babs as batgirl and when Babs as batgirl defended WAR cheerfully).

Cass and Duke also train together (i really like the illustrator here aaaaaaaaa Duke and Cass are so cute here 🥺).

This storyline was bad but it really pushed Cass and Duke together as Cass was there when Duke got his new shadow powers and Duke was there when Shiva was being a jerk to Cass for some reason?? They coordinated attacks as a duo so that was nice. Plus, Duke thinks of Cass as his sis. (Is this specifically catered to me? Yeah, yeah…. I’m tots falling for the putting the minorities together thingy like a sucker, but themmmmmmmm!!! 🥹)

Duke and Kate actually teamed up in action once (offhandedly 😔) so that’s neat.

(Hold on I reached my picture limit but there’s a part 2)

[glade-constellation]

Long ass text post here we go. All my thoughts and feelings on the current TSAMS lore.

Just a warning, there are 2496 words under the cut, lmao.

MOON :

(Warning, there is a brief mention of suicidal ideation in this section.)

First off, the whole thing with Moon. I’m personally not the biggest fan of how the fandom is handling his situation, considering he’s most likely dealing with some form of psychotic PTSD. Solar literally died in his arms. That is going to have repercussions on his mental health. He’s not crazy or insane, he is severely traumatized. And it’s not like this was a sudden change in how he behaved, he’s been showing signs of decline since Solar’s death. Monty literally saw Moon hallucinating three weeks before this confrontation happened, and just decided not to tell anyone about it. Jack heard Moon mumbling about his plans for Ruin, but Jack is young and didn’t know how to handle the situation. Moon’s computer saw the signs and also told no one. It’s not like he just snapped. This has been a steady decline built up over months. People were either too scared to share, or saw the signs and just wanted to believe nothing was wrong with him. Moon got this bad because no one tried to help him. It doesn’t help that people are viewing Moon’s self destructive actions at his literal feelings on certain things. Sun literally told Earth that Moon will say rude things to get out of an argument quicker. Everyone is so upset about the things Moon told Earth, but they aren’t understanding that Moon very likely meant absolutely nothing of what he said. He was trying to run, but Sun and Earth were standing in front of the door. He was currently running on the mindset of “hurt someone enough and they will just let you leave”. Earth has every right to be upset that he even said those things, yes, but Moon is not thinking rationally right now.

Some of the stuff he kept repeating really shows how far he’s fallen into his depression. He doesn’t care how much his family currently hates him. He doesn’t care if Solar hates him after he brings him back. He doesn’t care about pretty much anything that isn’t directly related to bringing Solar back. He even said he doesn’t care if he himself dies. He has one goal in mind and is completely blind to everything else. This is suicidal ideation. He may not want to die, but he doesn’t care if he does.

That being said, Moon has crossed so many lines. His morals have been skewed way past what most people consider wrong and right. He’s hellbent on getting Solar back, no matter the cost. He’s genuinely not thinking of anything but his end goal, which is going to, probably literally, blow up in his face. The whole point of why he’s doing this in the first place is to make his family happy, and he’s putting in a lot of effort to make it happen, but isn’t liking the real reaction he’s getting. His family isn’t just upset with him, they are scared of him. Moon may not have heard this, but both Earth and Lunar’s first question when hearing about Moon’s current state was “Is he safe to even be near right now”. Which is a valid question considering how physically violent Old Moon was. Lunar even states remembering these reactions when they used to share a body, and how much it scared him. For being so dead set on reminding people he’s not the Old Moon, it’s almost funny how far he’s crossed the line of what Old Moon did.

Even worse, Moon is using Old Moon’s sacrifice as a way to push his own current ideals. He feels he has a legacy to live up to, considering Old Moon gave his life to save Killcode, and also feels he is failing miserably at it. Killcode still ended up dying later on, Solar died in his arms, his family is still going through hell. He blames himself for everything going wrong, even if we as an audience know none of it is his fault. He won’t stop until he feels vindicated of these “failures”. Eclipse had a comment in a recent episode about how all Moons run on a hyped up sense of ego, and that’s very clearly showing with what Moon’s feeling right now. Moon takes extreme pride in being the protector of the family, and feels he has failed in every way imaginable.

( I would also like to point out how Moon keeps saying he’s getting back a Ruin for what he did, but that’s not even his plan anymore. When Bloodmoon took Ruin, Moon sent Molten after them and said he could have Ruin. Ruin was the whole reason Molten even showed up in the first place. Moon changed trajectory and decided to use Bloodmoon to bring Solar back, because he agreed to let Molten have Ruin if he could find where the two had gone. Bloodmoon may be a reoccurring villain, but he had nothing to do with Solar’s death. He’s honest in mourning as well, over his brother that Moon helped kill. Bloodmoon is a bystander in this situation that is being dragged in unwillingly. Yeah, maybe that’s a good idea considering Bloodmoon is going after Monty, but this feels morally wrong. )

Sun :

This episode showed a lot about how far Sun has come in the past two years. Back when the show first started, Sun would have immediately caved in an argument like this. He would have made a point to get his side across, but his voice would shake and he’d stutter over his words and physically cower away from Moon. Now he faced Moon and very clearly spoke his side of the argument. He walked right up to Moon while talking too. It’s almost got this bittersweet feel, because he’s grown past his trauma with Old Moon, but like. It’s sad that his reaction is what it is in the first place. The moment he learned what was happening with Moon, he acted resigned. Like he knew he was going to be the only one to be able to deal with it. He never should have needed to learn this reaction in the first place.

Eclipse comment about Sun being the most stable in this situation is so sad to me, because it’s true. Sun has spent his entire life dealing with Moon. Most of Sun’s problems that he’s had to deal with, for his entire life, have been due to Moon. It’s the sad truth. Sun woke up, then Moon appeared and straight up told him that he would make his life a living hell. When they finally began functioning as siblings and decided to split bodies, Moon created Eclipse. On top of Eclipse, Moon still acted out and would both verbally and physically berate Sun. When Moon was reset, he then had to deal with Moon misjudging his grief over what he had lost. He’s had years of experience handling Moon and his outbursts. Sun may not be perfectly fine, but he is currently the most equipped to handle this situation.

There’s something poetic about how this current situation parallels Sun’s past. He also dealt with a psychotic episode after he killed Bloodmoon, and was locked in a box as Moon’s attempt to stop him from killing Eclipse. There’s a lot of similarities. I think the biggest difference is simply how Sun is handling this versus how Moon handled it. Moon trapped Sun in a small box that he could barely move around in and stripped him of his magic, leaving Sun completely defenseless. The fact that the box was invisible was probably also not helping with Sun’s hallucinations. Sun was left alone in probably one of the most defenseless positions he could have been left in, and didn’t seem to be planning on ways to help him after Sun was trapped.

Sun is going in with a plan, something Moon didn’t have. He also has help from the rest of the family. What I’m hoping is that Sun won’t do the same to Moon, and that the containment room that gets built is an actual room. I’m hoping Sun plans for after Moon gets captured. Earth probably won’t want to hold a therapy session with Moon after what Moon said to her, but that doesn’t mean they give up on giving him therapy. That doesn’t mean they give up on getting him help. (With the luck of the TSAMS characters, this probably won’t happen, but I wish.)

Earth :

Earth as a character in general is probably the most relatable to me besides Lunar. It sometimes makes talking about her situation hard for me, so I apologize if this section doesn’t do her justice.

It’s obvious that Sun isn’t the only one dealing with revisiting old trauma. Earth has brought it up in many episodes how much she can’t bring herself to trust her own family due to the Creator. She wants to, so badly. She makes excuses for her brothers when she sees signs of them not being truthful, because she wants to believe they would never hurt her that way. She wholeheartedly did not want to believe something was wrong with Moon until Eclipse brought her irrefutable truth.

She’s stumbling. She already deals with a heavy amount of self doubt, and now she is dealing with everything Moon said to her. A lot of who she is is built around this idea of needing to be perfect, to be good at what she does. That was the whole point of why the Creator made her. She is the Better Daycare Attendant. Moon calling her a fake therapist and telling her that she’s bad at what she does tore down that already wobbly sense of perfection. She’s been trying to logic her way through every time she feels herself become imperfect or inadequate, but she can’t work past what Moon told her using the same tactics. Not only is Moon someone whose opinion matters a lot to her, he was blunt in the way he worded things.

Her trust is shattered, her pride is destroyed, and it’s bringing up a lot of past trauma she hasn’t fully worked through. She’s also still dealing with Solar’s death on top of this. The only person who will sit down and listen to her problems, that she is comfortable talking to about them, is Eclipse. He’s one of the most unqualified people to help deal with these problems, in all honesty. Everyone else is either busy or dealing with too much of their own shit. There’s a lot she needs to work through, but there isn’t a clear or easy way to do that. There never really is, but this situation is definitely terrible circumstances for it.

I do think we might see an argument between her and Monty soon. Learning that they kept Moon’s condition a secret did not make her happy. In my opinion, a valid reaction. I don’t really care how good Monty and Moon’s friendship is or used to be. They absolutely shouldn’t have kept this information to themself.

Lunar :

There isn’t much to say for him as he didn’t have a large part in the episode (understandably on Reed’s part). He honestly has so much going on right now that I’m not really surprised by his reaction. It’s just one more thing going on. He’s stressed constantly and can barely handle what’s happening just with his own stuff.

It’s interesting to me that he said the situation would make him cry. Currently, I feel like Lunar hasn’t really cried since he was revived. He’s more prone to bursts of anger nowadays, or just some form of dissociation. Him saying he would cry and talking about his past when sharing a body with Moon feels like falling back on old trauma responses.

I’m interested to see if we get his reaction to this situation in future episodes.

Eclipse :

Obligatory Eclipse mention on my part. I’ve already talked about him recently, but I will always take any chance to talk about my guy.

I absolutely love how he keeps trying to tell himself he doesn’t know why he’s helping. He obviously knows why he’s doing it, he’s just too prideful to admit it. I’m still not over the “I’ve come to learn with Moons, they’re really egotistical. Reminds me of myself.” He is so overly self aware, and finally seems to be at the point of realizing that.

It’s upsetting that there’s a real chance he’s going to leave once Solar is back. Dark made it sound like he was going to have to die in order for Solar to live, which is even worse. Despite Moon saying that no one will ever love him, I do think Earth will mourn him when he’s gone, regardless of if he dies or leaves. There’s a slight possibility Lunar would as well, considering Lunar still has a part of him that wishes for the brotherhood they could have had. After that one conversation in the atrium, Lunar seems to have calmed down a little, and Eclipse has definitely grown a little past where he was.

Solar :

This section is pretty speculative, and more about stuff I couldn’t really fit in Moon’s section that related to Solar. (Warning, this section briefly talks about suicide.)

I am still reeling over what Moon said about Solar’s reaction when he brings him back. The whole line about letting Solar die again if he wants. Like, there are several layers of “fucked up” to that statement.

First, I don’t believe Moon one bit on that statement. I don’t truly believe that Moon would ever, under any circumstance, let any of his family willingly die. He is much too prideful of his role as protector, and he cares far too much for his siblings to let them get that far. He’s also grieving for Solar, I don’t think he’d ever let go of him if they’re able to bring him back. He didn’t let Killcode die when they separated, there’s no way he’s letting Solar right after he gets him back.

Second, that’s not how that works. If Moon brings Solar back, he is then responsible for the life he brought back. Willingly letting Solar die again because Solar wants it is literally enabling suicide. That’s just, no. I wouldn’t ever be able to look at Moon the same if he allowed that.

But I doubt Solar would want that if he was brought back. As much as he’s probably going to hate what Moon’s doing right now, I highly doubt he would throw away another chance at life. He would absolutely respect the effort put into getting him back, even if he didn’t necessarily like the actions taken. I don’t think Moon’s plan is going to work anyways. I really do think Eclipse is going to be the one to pull it off, probably after Moon tries, which is going to cause a lot of things between them.