swagcoolcat

[swagcoolcat]

I really think we should stop saying "kid-friendly" and start saying "ad-friendly". We shouldn't indulge these companies and their excuses anymore. I also think that continuing to pretend that this is about "protecting the children" pushes a lot of the blame onto kids and teens, who don't have the political power to push through any of this censorship legislature. Corporations and governments are to blame.

[swagcoolcat]

[swagcoolcat]

i do think its fascinating how hbomberguy made two videos in a row about how smaller creatives get eclipsed and forgotten while bigger names shamelessly rip them off and steal credit for their work. and a lot of people left it thinking "wow those james somerton and tommy talarico guys suck" without actually remembering anything about the people they stole from. something something the magnetic draw of drama and finding acceptable punching bags idk.

[swagcoolcat]

its so awesome that you can straight up write fanfiction in your head to help yourself fall asleep and it doesnt even have to be good or something anyone would ever want to read. even yourself

[swagcoolcat]

[swagcoolcat]

"having a post get popular is a bad thing on tumblr" counterpoint: i can edit my 72k note post to anything i want

72k note singular grape png

[swagcoolcat]

I have a disorder that makes me want to headcanon every nonhuman character with the ability to purr regardless if it makes sense for their kind or not. It's called being right. With enough research i could justify a tree purring if i wanted to

[swagcoolcat]

speaking of peeing the bed it's been long enough that i can tell this story publicly. in high school i went to a party at some house with no adults, as you sometimes would, and at the end of the night like 10 people all clonked out together in the same bed. fully clothed, one of those teenage moments where you're like wow heehee how rule-breaking, because sure a lot of our parents wouldn't like us sleeping in a bed with a bunch of other teenagers and no adult supervision blah blah. fond memories. anyway.

i'm an extremely light sleeper, so i barely slept, and sometime around 6 am, i woke up to a girl totally panicking, very quietly, because she peed the bed in her sleep. and listen. this wasn't a group of mean kids by any measure. but there's no level of kindness or understanding in the world that will make peeing the bed when you're 17, surrounded by people you only sort of know, a gentle blow.

so i sat up and she was like "oh my god" and I signaled at her to be absolutely silent and I said I'd be right back. And I crawled over everyone and out of the bed like a stupid cat.

and the thing is, by senior year i wasn't getting bullied much anymore. i was generally pretty well liked by my peers, but, if this makes sense, people still didn't always expect very much from me. i was still figuring out how to mask (autistic) and i still often said or did something that made everyone remember i'm weird and they'd just be like "well. that's story for you. i guess." and for the most part i'd become pretty secure in that.

so what i'm saying is i had nothing to lose and this girl had everything to lose.

so i went downstairs and i made tomato soup. and by "made" i mean i put a whole can of tomato soup in a too-small mug and microwaved it until it was lukewarm so as to be convincingly "made" but not so hot to burn someone.

and then i walked back upstairs, and no longer like a cat, i clumsily "attempted" to crawl back into bed, loudly lost my balance, and spilled tomato soup all over the girl and her lap and several other people's laps and heads and the mattress.

everyone woke up confused and anguished and i was like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just got really hungry and it's all i could find."

and everyone immediately accepted with absolutely no further questions that I would go downstairs, make tomato soup at 6 am,and bring it back to bed. everyone just begrudgingly climbed onto the floor and went back to sleep while I put the bedding right into the laundry.

i don't even know this girl's name. i only remembered this story recently because i'm in my hometown for a few months and recently a high school acquaintance said, "hey. do you remember spilling soup on everyone after prom? why did you do that?" and for a moment i genuinely did not and i stared at them completely dumbfounded while the memory loaded and then i started laughing too hard to answer for 2 minutes.

the best part is i can tell this story, and even if it reaches the people who were there, none of them will know which one of them peed the bed. thanks to tomato soup.

[swagcoolcat]

People in the UK especially, please don't give your ID to Spotify

[swagcoolcat]

[swagcoolcat]

To the person anonymously writing slowburn office lady yuri in my DMs

I don't know why you've chosen me for this harassment campaign you've embarked on. I don't know why you feel that my DMs are a better medium for this story than, I don't know, posting them on a writing website?? Or on your own blog??? And most importantly, I don't know why you are laboring under the delusion that I can't report you just because you are sending the chapters anonymously -- I can in fact, and you would be IP banned.

I'm issuing you this ultimatum right now:

Stop sending me your slowburn office lady yuri

OR

I will report you

OR

Send me the next chapter within 24 hours, because are a fucker for where you left it off, and you have not sent a new chapter in several days. I need to know whether, when they were the only two in the office late at night after a brutal crunch week, and the stars could be seen in the sky due to a power outage on their block, and they talked about life, they actually do kiss or if that's another fakeout, of which you have done MANY.

My patience with you has worn thin. Stop sending me this story, or send me more, or I will report you.

Good night.

[swagcoolcat]

crying

[swagcoolcat]

kitchen nightmares was a good show

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[swagcoolcat]

Always great when this is the thumbnail of the weeks forecast

[swagcoolcat]

Sometimes your S/O’s family being frosty or rude to you is them trying to warn you your S/O sucks without having to admit their family member sucks.

I play this exchange over and over again in my head but in the 90s, early into my parents’ relationship, my dad brought my mom home for the first time. My grandma looked my mother over and said to my father “Did you remember to call [OTHER WOMAN’S NAME] and break up with her?” That other woman? My dad’s serious college girlfriend of 4 years. My dad played it off like the other woman was a situationship and my mom was soooo important to him but nope, he was two-timing them and grandma was trying to warn mom. Mom assumed grandma just hated her and took my dad’s word about his girlfriend that he was cheating on.

[swagcoolcat]

While we’re talking about censorship, I need everyone to stop playing this little amnesia game where we pretend not to remember what internet and fandom has looked like for the past 20 years. Weird and taboo porn has always existed, it used to be a LOT easier to access, and you won’t die if you look at it. We simply cannot continue placating the crazy mob of people who are scared of sex and love overstating harm, they’ll call you a pedophile literally no matter what, and they’ll roll around in their cognitive dissonance like a hog in mud when you point out that the other group calling you a freak and a pedo are the conservative alt right. Fucking exhausting being a fag and a pervert in 2025.