#(but a very old analysis)

[bungobble-my-balls]

OK correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the main 'yin/yang' parallel with Atsushi and Akutagawa is not something like 'this one is bad but secretly has a good side and this one is good but secretly has a bad side'.

I feel like it's more about 'who they are at their core vs who they choose to be'.

At his core Akutagawa is kind and at his core Atsushi is not. But despite this Atsushi tries every day to make the kinder choices and I love him so much for it. He has to work so hard to be good.

He wants to be a bitch SO bad I know he does but he tries his best to help people and be nice (sometimes he fails but that's OK <3)

Atsushi doesn't always WANT to help people, a lot of the time he's selfish and scared, but he does help people anyway. He keeps helping people over and over again. There's still some selfish motivation to it, and his initial motivation for helping people was because the headmaster told him that's all he was worth, but overall he does care about the people he helps and it weighs on him if he fails to save them. And of course, as the series goes on he starts helping people more because he can rather than because he feels like he needs to.

In Akutagawa's case, he's still capable of being kind but his environment led him into being someone who chooses to hurt people. But he's always been a protector at heart. In the start he was bad compared to Atsushi because he was choosing to hurt people and keep the cycle of abuse going. Just like how Atsushi developed in why he saved people, Akutagawa starts to get redeemed when he chooses to not just act on his rage. Not only does he start to spare people, but he speaks more kindly to them (apologising to Higuchi and telling Kyouka he's proud of her). It all culminates into the moment he chooses to help Atsushi and sacrifice himself for him, going back to his core value of being a protector. Even when he's finally revived, he keeps this role in his new position as Aya's Knight.

I kind of see the streaks of white in Akutagawa and the streaks of black in Atsushi not as their 'hidden sides' but as their fundamental selfs. That's who they are at their core, and their main colours (black for Akutagawa and white for Atsushi) are how they're presented to everyone else and how they try to have people see them as.

[aunmenosheteroenespanol]

2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered

Tommy's family arc

[incandescentflower]

men in Japanese bl leaning on their hands admiringly is my new thing

[luna-spacedoodles]

monty and esther’s relationship is sooo interesting to me even if it doesn’t have lots of time to be explored. a kind of mother-son dynamic

like monty’s been esther’s crow for some time before we meet them only as her familiar but for a less than a week he’s human teen. he still works as her little helper but now there’s a boy in her house that she got at least a few clothes for from somewhere somehow. she doesn’t expect this to last long. he sleeps in his own room now and has a library card and talks back when she talks to him and has a genuine love for astrology. he still perches on chairs instead of sitting in them when he’s in the house and has black hair.

esther brought him into a human body and he blames her for all these human emotions he has to deal with. she takes him out of the world she gave him and it’s back to being a crow in a cage. he wants to be in love with edwin and for edwin to be in love with him back and he doesn’t want to follow esther’s plan to really kill him. he also has no one else to look up to, to follow, to learn from. he doesn’t want to make her mad because he knows the exact extent of what she can do to him and what she will do to him. he wants to make her proud, that he can capture edwin and charles.

esther wastes no time turning him back onto a crow if he fails her. she still has him come back home. he always does.

[faunandfloraas]

Birth date analysis // Seungmin - September 22nd: The Day of Restless Drive.

September 22 - Virgo/Libra

The Day Of Restless Drive

Those born on September 22 have a restless drive. Usually they bring the one they are working on to completion only to immediately set out on a new one without rest. They are also capable of handling several projects at the same time. Those born on this day have a low boredom threshold, and consequently demand challenging people and situations. They can be outgoing and dynamic types at one time, and solitary and unapproachable at another. In either case, their strong character is unmistakable.

Often September 22 people oscillate between an offensive and defensive posture. In one sense, such postures may be one and the same since a good offense is the best defense and vice-versa. Whether in a broad social context or on a personal level, the issues and ideas those born on this day are most often concerned with involve fairness and equality. In general matters pertaining to the delegation and exercise of power. In putting forth their arguments, they can be very ironic, witty and outright funny. Their humor, however, is not for everyone as it is liable to be off-beat, sardonic, perhaps even macabre.

Those born on September 22 can hide a warm heart under a forbidding exterior, but generally will only open up to people whom they deeply trust and value. Even then they may find it difficult to open all the way, principally because their orientation is highly realistic and the ironies of life all too visible to them. This day carries insight and clarity of vision both literal and figurative. September 22 people are excellent judges of character, and capable of sizing people up very quickly. Those few friends whom they allow into their inner sanctum they value most highly, usually for life.

September 22 people can often have a greater effect on those around them than they realize, and indeed can register a high degree of shock value. Because of their often disturbing impact, they should seek to be more aware of their effect on others, both friends and foes alike. True warriors in the battle of life, they must take stock of their armaments and defenses, using them judiciously and effectively, and avoid isolating and alienating themselves.

Strengths:

Individual

Perceptive

Well-directed

Weaknesses:

Guarded

Acerbic

Dark

[floworence]

I absolutely love how mha handles Toshinori and him being The Symbol of Peace.

Horikoshi could've went with the very popular route, having the guy who seems like The Hero™ be secretly corrupt, using the protagonist, the whole, single entity that is responsible for corruption of society, but he didn't do it.

When you first see All Might, you see this God-like figure, worshiped by everyone, someone larger than life. You see all that, and expect him to be a superficial, shallow, asshole who does it all for fame.

And then the reveal happens and we partially see the man behind the legend. Disabled, middle-aged man who is becoming jaded and bitter by the state of the world and heroism at large. First interactions we have with Toshinori Yagi and not All Might?

He is an asshole.

Except he is not.

Looking back at the first interaction he has with Izuku, he is really not trying to be mean, he really is trying to be helpful. He saw first hand what heroism does to people. He experienced it. He knows that heroism chews you up and spits you out, even with such power like OfA. He sees this trembling boy, with stars in his eyes, worshiping him like he is a God and all he sees is yet another person disillusioned with what heroism is, so he tries to keep him safe in the only way he knows at that moment: by crushing his dreams and facing them with harsh reality.

You have to remember that at this point he doesn't know Izuku, his impression of him is only of a hero fanboy who doesn't understand the dangers of hero life. Should have he been softer? More mindful of what he is saying? Yes, of course but this first interaction is important for his characterization.

Why?

Because, we as the audience see him make a mistake.

With this, we see that he is not a God. He is a human, a man, and that is the most important part of his character.

His humanity.

From then on we move onto the training montage, where we see more and more of the man, rather than the legend. We see that he is sassy, silly, caring and a rather mediocre mentor. We see good and bad. During season one and two, we as the audience familiarize ourselves with the man behind All Might, but actually we don't see him fully yet.

We are still like Izuku in a way, we know he is a human, not a God, but there is still this level of invincibility to him, yes he has his limits but still, he is this giant figure casting shadow.

It is not until post Kamino Ward arc we realize on who exactly All Might was casting shadow.

Yes, yes, yes, I know what you are expecting me to say here, that he cast the shadow on other heroes, Izuku, students, Japan, whole world even, and he did but we will get into that in a bit.

The person which was hidden the most was Toshinori Yagi.

It's not a coincidence that not only the story got darker with "All Might" not longer being present but that we also get a lot more moments with Toshinori being vulnerable.

Only after the protective shield of All Might is gone do we really start to see AND understand Toshinori.

We see exactly why he became a hero, his complete disregard for his own self, the workaholism, the pressure he was under to keep it all together.

Then, society collapses in on itself and Toshinori is left with a gaping void in his heart knowing it was all for nothing.

Horikoshi could've had All Might be corrupt, he could've been an asshole looking for fame but instead he made him into this deeply empathetic, caring, kind, loving man who just wanted to save others.

Society's dependence on All Might wasn't Toshinori's fault. He was just one individual put on a pedestal, held to such high standards that it almost killed him. Scratch that, it would've killed him if it wasn't for Izuku.

After Shie Hassaikai Arc, you see one thing that I haven't seen done before.

You see how Toshinori was also the victim of the hero society. You see how that man sees no value in himself except for what he can do for others. He feels completely worthless and undeserving to be even alive.

He wanted to become The Symbol of Peace, yes, but society made him into their only defense with even other pros admitting they are "rusty" because of All Might.

He never wanted to be the only one but after he was put on that pedestal he had the whole world on his shoulders and he carried it for years until the world bled him dry and then discarded him.

People becoming complacent wasn't his fault, he never advocated for everything to be left to him, never bragged he was the best, never made others feel lesser, and yet everyone took him for granted and that ultimately lead to the catastrophe that was the Final War.

You know what is the worst though? That he still felt like it was his fault and he will probably forever carry that guilt with him.

But in the end, it wasn't all guilt. Yes there was the guilt for not being able to stop the war, for indirectly causing the society to become complacent, for not being able to stop his students from risking their lives, probably the guilt of thrusting the weight of the world onto Izuku's shoulders (unknowingly, but that is for another post).

Final war arc is also Toshinori's final arc and his biggest realization.

His realization that Toshinori Yagi and All Might aren't two separate entities. That it's all him. The realization that he also had in the first epilogue: quirk doesn't make the hero, it's the heart.

That's what Iron Might represents. He answers Izuku's question here and he says:

Yes, you can become a hero without a quirk.

And with that, his sclera is once again white, because he is whole and he has hope once again.

[giddlygoat]

as much as i want to see fiddleford recover and enter his much-deserved era of good mental and physical health, i also want to see the effects of his head trauma follow him forever. it’s important to me that while he heal and find a level of normalcy and peace, he never return to his old self.

kind of a side bar, but it’s relevant so: i also think there’s something to be said about old man mcgucket’s confidence. boldness? idk how to describe it. i wouldn’t say his paranoid tendencies have vanished, but for the most part he’s. breezier. part of it is the brain damage, and maybe part of it is genuine self-evolution in the right direction. but i think the obsessive mind-wiping just… broke that part of his brain. it’s like he’s no longer affected by fear in the same way. and i hope we see strong traces of that damage until the day he dies.

it’s important to me that fiddleford heal and emerge into self-awareness once more. it’s important to me that ford still look at him as very much the same person, despite all of the damage. but he’s also changed severely and irreversibly. i think of old man mcgucket as a much rawer version of fiddleford in that he holds less reservations and has no filter. he’s healing but he’s also broken, and those scars will forever be visible. and that’s important to me because it also changes ford and fiddleford’s dynamic a lot.

ok one last sidebar, then i’m done. when i say it changes their dynamic i mean it in the way that because fiddleford now wears his heart on his sleeve and ford himself is a bit wiser about relationships, there is less self-sabotaging going on between them. romance or friendship wise. and if nothing else, they both feel they’re getting too old for biting their tongues, so i imagine the discussions of certain difficult topics comes a bit easier now.

like, given that they’ve both made many catastrophically terrible decisions over their lives, they have a better perspective on life in general and have had time to reorient their previously fucked priorities. ford lives with a lot of shame for how he treated stan, dealing with the devil, and bringing about the end times. fiddleford lives with a lot of shame for how he treated emma-may and tate, starting a cult that ruined lives [especially his own], and not to mention the multiple death robot incidents. even though they both had good intentions or else thought their actions were justified at the time [mostly], it all collapsed on their heads because these actions were ridiculously stupid.

i think all of this is part of why the rekindling of their friendship happened so easily. fiddleford is eager to forgive ford and embrace him because he’s learned first-hand what grief and paranoia can drive a person to do, and so he feels the best thing he can do is accept his old friend back into his life, no questions asked. maybe ford will forever think he doesn’t deserve it, but he learns to accept mcgucket’s kindness and tries to learn from it. they’re both healing even if it’ll never be Backupsmore again. it’s still them, despite it all.

[galaxy-fleur]

Replaying RE4R, and I am once again thinking of how Leon just straight up murders a guy the moment he attacks. Like yeah, sure, he lunged at him with a weapon, there is a bloody badge of an officer, things are sketchy to say the least, but still. It all happens so fast, I doubt he actually had the time to fully put two and two together quite yet.

And you can't tell me that Leon, a trained agent, just overestimated the power of his kick on accident. That ↓

Was a pretty much deliberate kick. What's interesting is that in the OG RE4, he at least tells the ganado to freeze a good couple of times (or maybe once, I don't remember the specifics, but my point still stands) before actually proceeding to harm him. Remake Leon, meanwhile... just breaks his neck without a second thought.

And his reaction right after makes it... pretty obvious, honestly.

There is no strong reaction there to offing an old man in his home. Now, granted, he hears a scream right after, so it's not like he has much time to stand and ponder over what happened! But the only thing he says right after is: 'This is not good.' And, yeah, true, but we do know Leon is capable of expressing some level of distress over something he finds disturbing, and he proceeds to do that literally a few minutes later once you start exploring the village. So really, it's an interesting scene and a very intriguing way of introducing this hardened version of Leon we'll be playing as.

I wouldn't be thinking about this as much if not for the circumstances surrounding it. Not like Leon is aware that this man is infected with anything. Up until the moment he gets back up, he could be just some disturbed, paranoid old man or something. And he did just walk into someone's house. He's an intruder here, really. But the moment danger presents itself, he eliminates the threat without a second thought.

I think it speaks volumes of the past 6 years that passed for him, and how they shaped him. We don't know much of Leon's job: what it entails exactly, what kind of work he does on the daily, how the entire structure operates. And before the events of RE4, it's not like he was a well-known agent, if I remember correctly. It's his successful rescue of Ashley that got him high in the ranks. His status as a Racoon City survivor didn't do that. Throughout RE4R, we see him regain his humanity through the connections with other characters, going from the cold, robotic way he caries himself at the start of the game, to the determined, emotionally-invested man we later see carrying Ashley to Luis' laboratory.

It's very neat to think about! And while we all love Leon for his kind heart and his drive to save innocent lives, he is more than capable of violence, and that's an aspect of him I wish was talked about more. That neck break was definitely not the first one for him, just saying.

[chuuya-fan-page]

Can u give me some examples of chuuya and Dazai like, helping make each other better?

Glad you asked this question, anon!

Some examples include the scene in fifteen where Dazai goes from the beginning of fifteen, being all apathetic and not cryng about life. Mori trying hard to motivate him, to suddenly wanting live after meeting chuuya. Quite literally saying: "chuuya convinced me to live" and along with here, saying that he's got a new dog so he has to live now.

The gun shooting scene also served helpful for Dazai, he was spiraling and Chuuya, a gangster knocked the gun out of his hand saying "you shouldn't be shooting dead bodies". For a member of a gang to say this, it served as very contridcting to dazai but revealed more about chuuya's character and how what he did was (shooting the dead body) was wrong.

Another example includes in stormbringer, when chuuya is hallicunating dazai and the flags when he's tortured. The hallucination of dazai motivates him to not give up (bc he claims he isn't like him) and pushes him through the experience.

From Dazai's side in stormbringer, his capability to change that has always been there prior to oda is shown when he gives Chuuya a choice. This is a big deal which I see the fandom ignore a lot, but Dazai at this point struggled immensely with empathy, so for him to put himself in Chuuya's shows and give him a choice with the entire city was at risk showed how much he cared about chuuya's feelings, thinking about his humanity before the entire city.

Another instance includes the scene in which Mori says that he would die with Chuuya with the Guivre situation in stormbringer. Dazai goes from being okay with dying/apathetic about the situation to suddenly caring with the idea of dying with Chuuya is brought up. Chuuya constantly is seen to motivate and push Dazai to do things in the mafia at the time.

The Dragon Head Conflict in Dead Apple is a major example. Chuuya once again pushes him to get involved in major conflicts, Dazai is louching around not wanting to get involved until Chuuya says something to him about the situation.

Dazai is acting inhumane by disrespecting someone who died and in anger chuuya punches his face. dazai says "i'm human too" and chuuya says "no one would believe that shit" people misinterpet this scene badly as dehumanization but it's not. it's basically Chuuya giving Dazai a reality check and telling him to stop acting inhumane since he knows he is a human and is capable of acting humane. Stormbringer shows this, he sees dazai giving him a choice, him acting human. So since this is after that, it's basically him telling him no one will believe you're human if you act like this, so start acting like you're a human. Because of Chuuya's words, it motivates him to stop a turf war because of how mad he is.

In mayoi this is seen, with him telling Shibusawa how he was wrong for killing the colonel.

This exchange also shows the extent of their partnership, how despite the words Chuuya says to Dazai prior, he just knows him; by the mention of the microscope earlier he's able to decipher the intention of dazai. Their reading of each other can be shown to be "making each other better" as their trust in e/o as kids raised an abusive enviorment is definetaly interesting.

Chuuya is actively seen steering him to be motivated him who once lacked a clear meaning of life itself was.

-A (hi guys i'm back)

[ducksbeloved]

lol i wonder if lucy came up with the "high 5 heroes" party name

[tsunamiholmes]

I'm sure many of you have seen the new Among Us x A Hat in Time announcement by now, which consists of new cosmetic items based off of the AHiT characters as part of the new Indie Cosmicube.

However, what I've not heard as much discussion about is the new art featured in the promo.

"New art?" you ask, glancing at the familiar sprite art of the AHiT characters in the background. "I guess Bow Kid's looks new..."

"But what about the rest of them?" I ask, smirking.

"Those have been around for years!" you protest.

"Ah-ha!" I raise a finger, a witty smile spread across my face, "but have they?"

In fact, all of the main character sprite art in the background of this promo has been redrawn. Some, like Hat Kid's, has even had design changes as well.

Let's start with Hat Kid:

Overall new shading and smoother painting lines, including added highlights and shadows to create more depth

New eyes that give her a more cheery and childish appearance

New, more expressive mouth with fangs!

Updated stars on her umbrella

More detailed ears

Below you can see some of the areas pointed out and the original art we've had for years.

Next, Mustache Girl:

Again, completely new shading and highlights

New, sharp gremlin teeth (I'm loving all of the new teeth choices here, Jenna)

Brand new eyes

Changed left eyebrow position to give a more "evil" expression

New styled nose to match the other, newer art

Next, The Conductor:

New shading and highlights

More light spill/reflections on his dark clothing and hat (see the underside of the bill and the left side of his arms/collar)

Larger tongue

Slightly more plump tie

Cleaner line art, specifically on his right hand

The crows are the same from the Welcome to Mafia Town title card, as pictured here:

I didn't bother making a GIF since they didn't have any changes!

~ ~ ~

That about sums it up I think. That new Bow art is super cute, and I can't wait to see it in full. Oh, did I not mention? Gears for Breakfast didn't spend all of this time redrawing these classic images just for some Among Us promotion. Or rather, they might have, but a little birdy told me that we'll be seeing them again soon...

For what? I have no idea. No clue there. But you can be assured that we'll be getting the full, brand new versions of these pieces of art in the near future!

[good-beanswrites]

My thoughts on how the Milgram mv machine works based on the evidence we have:

(I know there’s been discussion about where exactly the interrogations take place, but wherever they are,) the prisoners are made to sit in a specific chair near the wall that houses the machine.

It’s ordinarily hidden, but the wall panels shift aside to reveal it when the mechanical sounds play in the dramas. As well as the walls moving, the chair transforms to restrain the prisoner and attach whatever it takes to access their brain. The fact that none of the more frightened prisoners try to run or break it makes it seem like they physically cannot. This is why Fuuta sounds so panicked, and why Amane is suddenly helpless in front of Es in their T1 vds.

(My mind conjures very classic sci-fi mad scientist machines with wires, pipes, lights, nodes, needles, etc, but I’d love to hear how other people visualize it.)

In some vds (maybe all? I’d need to check,) you can hear Es take some steps right before their iconic line -- it would make sense that for safety reasons, the power mechanism is placed across the room. Once again it could be anything, but the sound effect makes me think of one of those giant wall-mounted levers you have to pull down.

The voice dramas don’t really provide the type of crime details that an actual interrogation would reveal, and it’s odd that they’re placed before the extraction rather than after Es gets to see the new details. This leads me to believe the machine functions with priming. All Es needs to do is get them talking about their murder, so it’s on their mind.

The video produced is much like a (non-lucid) dream. Even if the prisoners figure out that this is how it works, they can’t control it just by thinking really hard about something else. The murders produce the strongest emotional affect, and that’s what it picks up on. If someone else used the machine, it would default to whatever gave them the strongest emotional reaction in the ~15 minutes beforehand, hence why Es’ video focuses on their daunting task ahead. (The Undercover theory is still a bit loose, though, given the private shots that Es wouldn't have known about). It’s why the videos are usually closely linked to the vd topics/beats. I also like to think that the reason their prisoner colors appear so much is because they’re looking at those colors on their uniform 24/7.

The bell rings to inform Es that it’s the optimal time to use the machine -- the prisoner has been thinking about things for long enough that the video will be about their crime, and if the conversation lasts much longer they’ll start thinking of other things. It’s at a different time for each prisoner because it’s based on the specific conversation. I guess Jackalope is listening in to the interrogation, timing it perfectly. (The only one that kind of messes with this theory is Yonah, because they just keep talking afterwards lol, but it could just show that the interrogation is still in Es’ control.)

Their “Sing your sins” is the final priming nudge to get them to think of their actions as a sin, revealing their guilt.

Once activated, the prisoner enters a sort of trance/sleeping state. It’s very much like REM sleep, with the machine forcibly activating neurons and recording the output. The prisoners have asked Es what they saw, meaning they don’t remember the mvs. I like to think the prisoners do experience the mv in real time, acting as the major version of themself that appears, but can’t remember it afterwards. It’s when you experience a dream, but as soon as you wake up you’re just left with fleeting emotions and memories right on the tip of your tongue.

The video plays immediately upon extraction -- whether on a huge projection or little screen depends on which room it’s in. It simultaneously saves the memory so that Es can rewatch it later (on those old TVs in the jailbreak mix). The machine downloads the song and video together, but requires special parts to retrieve them. The technology is pretty new and fragile, so if one is broken, there might be a delay between when Es can hear the extracted song and see it with the video. (That’s my justification for Kotoko’s delays -- after 9 prisoners the parts wear out, or maybe Mikoto himself overheats it with his complex situation.)

Based on the lack of conversation we get afterwards, I picture Es leaving before the prisoner wakes from the trance. The machine adjusts their brain back to normal before they awaken, restraints freed and able to return to the rest of the prison.

It’s very much like a dream, so it’s not harmful despite the amnesia/head injuries the prisoners have. It does, however, exhaust them. Brain activity alone takes a lot of energy, so forced brain activity with added emotional strain would cause them to feel pretty drained the rest of the day.

[sodafrog13]

finally was able to get down my visual hcs for mary :] i think she, hench, and the son have a Very interesting dynamic. more thoughts under the cut if u care to peek (careful, it's wordy)

i think hench and mary have been together long term by events of the game and i specifically think they started dating when hench wasn't working for the son yet

i actually think he used to work for the columbians, based mostly on mary's intense shock that the son would be so willing to let him leave and also the fact that his skin tone matches the default skin tone of the normal columbian mobsters (though the latter could admittedly just be attributed to dennaton's heavy use of palette swapping and sprite refurbishing). in my thinking, he and/or mary got into some sort of trouble with his former boss and pledged his loyalty to the son and his family if they would be able to get him out.

in doing so, it was made specifically clear to the henchman (likely by the father) that if he were to ever double cross them, he'd have both him and mary killed. thusly, the henchman did everything in his power to be an asset to the russian mafia, so much so that the son, more lenient when it came to the terms of their agreement than his father though perhaps more willing to actively test them, took a shine to him.

the son is curious of mary. as a gay man who doesn't really know he's gay, he honestly has the tendency to be misogynistic to women he doesn't see as his equal (ie the bodyguard), as his interests truly lie in patriarchal views of masculinity and power. he at least has enough foresight to recognize how important she is to the henchman and is fine with letting her be (past the occasional remark about her to the henchman directly). that said, he does consider her a bit of a hindrance re: the henchman's ambitions, but again, never to the extent he'd do anything about it.

mary is genuinely unnerved by the son. she has every right to be, considering both her and her partner's safety are basically up to his family's whims, but she lets the henchman go as he pleases. she recognizes that he has a genuinely fondness for his boss (because it's the same kind of fondness that he has for her) and quite honestly, she doesn't mind him having another partner so long as he's honest with her. it's just the fact that it's him that puts her off. she, however, also has concerns re: the henchman's plans for the future. she doesn't really Mind that they're not married but it is something she'd enjoy. that, and she really does wonder how much longer he's willing to keep doing mob work. he's not old per se but he's definitely not as young as he used to be, and even she can see that he won't last very long with the life that he leads and that scares her.

the henchman is... well, he's indecisive. doesn't really know what he wants until it's hitting him in the face. he's honestly just fine coasting around until some other force leads him off his beaten path, something that annoys the son and concerns mary because it really does sometimes come to a battle of who can get through to him first, even if none of them really know it. he loves them both, he really does, but he's also fickle. because even though he wants them both, he also secretly wants a certain level of freedom that he just can't have by being both tied to people and also a job (as seen in that dream he has where he's driving out of miami, not only without his girl or his boss but in spite of the hurricane that he's sure to run into). so maybe it's not even that he's indecisive, he knows what he wants it's just that he knows, logically, that it is something he cannot have. so he just willingly keeps himself in that loop until something breaks, that something being all those dreams that richard was sending him in an attempt to break the bigger cycle of things.

in a different world, i'd like to imagine that they can work things out. i truly do not blame mary for what she did, because i truly would have done the exact same thing as her in that situation even if it wasn't necessarily what was 'right'. but i feel that in that same vein, hench could have done more to reassure her that things would be fine, esp considering he has a personal enough connection to the son to know that he's different from his father.

but also i mean we all know that nobody in miami has communication skills. that'd be ridiculous there'd be no game otherwise

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Feel like making people miserable today. Anyways, here's Gon experiencing like. Textbook symptoms of trauma in the CAA, in case there was any lingering doubt about this or anything:

Initial denial that the experience happened or was traumatic

[ID: A screenshot from episode 85 of HxH 2011. Gon, eyes bright and with a smile, says "Kite is alive!" End ID.]

Flashbacks

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 95, and a third from episode 110. In the first, Kite's arm is shown in the foreground, bleeding and blurred. In the second, a close of Pitou's wide eyes, looking animalistic. In the last, puppet Kite's mangled and scarred face stares emptily ahead - the scene is greyed out. End ID.]

Intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 116. In the first, Gon's fist can be seen in the foreground, with Pitou shielding an unconscious Komugi just barely seen. The narrator says "The girl lying before them brought back". In the second, Komugi has a medical respirator on. The narrator continues "images of a broken Kite to Gon's mind". End ID.]

Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Gon's fists slam into the ground as he says "That isn't fair...". Sweat drips down his arms. End ID.]

Extreme alertness/hypervigilance

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Part of Pitou can be seen in the foreground as Gon stares at them intensely, crouched on the ground with his arm resting on his knee, obscuring his lower face. End ID.]

Angry outbursts or other extreme behaviour

[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 116, and the other from episode 127. In the first, Gon shouts "Is something wrong with you?!" as his face contorts with rage. His aura floats black around him. In the second, Gon, his face shadowed eerily with thin lines, says "The next time you try to delay me, I'll kill her." End ID.]

Feeling like you have to keep busy

[ID: A screenshot from episode 94. A close up of Gon's face from the side as he says "I want to focus on my training." End ID.]

Doing things that are reckless and self-destructive

[ID: Three screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other two from episode 131. The first is stylized as a black outline of Gon's figure over a background like parchment or a projector - he's been hit in the face and sent to the right from the force of the blow. The second is a close up of Gon's face, almost completely shadowed, with intense and vacant eyes - he says "I don't care". The third continues with a close up of his eye filling with darkness - "if this is the end..." End ID.]

Feeling like nobody understands ("since it means nothing to you")

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. In a whitish-room with a crack on the wall between them, Gon stands ahead of Killua, facing away from him. They are both in shadow. End ID.]

Ignoring offers of help and shutting out loved ones... poor Killua :(

[ID: A screenshot from episode 136. A spotlight on both Killua, in the foreground, and Gon, walking away from him in the background. Killua thinks "I wanted you to ask for my help in defeating Pitou!" End ID.]

Self-loathing, self-punishment, and lack of self regard

[ID: Three screenshots, two from episode 110 and the third from episode 131. The first is a close up of Gon's face over Morel asking "When would you try to hurt yourself?" The second is a continuation. Morel looks down at Gon who is facing away from the camera as Gon replies "When I couldn't forgive myself." In the last, adult Gon, staring ahead, is animated in black and white with the only colour being the blood from the stump of his right arm. His left hand grips his shoulder. End ID.]

Blaming yourself for what happened

[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other from episode 130. In the first, Gon hugs puppet Kite around his waist. In the second, Gon stares blankly ahead with tears streaming down his face as he thinks "I killed Kite." End ID.]

Overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shame

[aroaceleovaldez]

i hope this doesn't sound like a silly or weird thing to send you, but i'm autistic and have long thought of nico and a handful of other riordanverse characters as autistic and i love your posts about why nico in particular seems intentionally autistic-coded. but i've been thinking, if rick did intend for any of his characters to be autistic, why wouldn't he say so outside of the text at least? i can't think of a good reason why not, when he goes out of his way to be explicit about so many other characters' various marginalized identities and has confirmed things like reyna being asexual outside of the original text. so it gives me this nagging sort of doubt that maybe rick just made nico come off as so extremely autistic coded by accident, somehow. if it wasn't an accident i do kind of wish he'd say so because there's next to zero explicitly stated autistic representation in, like, any media so it'd be nice to have here even if not strictly necessary. either way though, like i said, i love your posts and i agree with you 100% about autistic nico! some others i like to think are autistic are annabeth and leo.

(Most of this is gonna be kind of a tangential ramble to your point and i apologize in advance just bear with me)

This actually touches upon something I've been meaning to do a write-up on recently, which is: depending on the coding, that is our explicit statement. In most coding, actually, that's kind of the point. (Also something something Death of the Author.)

You may have noticed a recent trend across media of characters saying things directly rather than expressing them in a natural way, and often this includes incredibly stilted dialogue of characters explaining things in very politically correct, wikipedia-esque descriptions and terminology that make absolutely no sense for the characters' personalities or mannerisms. This is born out of the idea that if something is not stated in explicit terms, no amount of evidence below an outright direct exact statement will ever count - if two characters of the same gender have an explicit kiss and wedding on-screen, it doesn't matter because they never said the word "gay," etc etc.

In PJO, prior to more recent books, we get plenty of examples of characters explaining parts of their identities without direct statements. Percy never needs to say in outright terms that he has PTSD from Gabe - and it doesn't make sense that he would! He's 12! He's never been diagnosed for that. He probably doesn't even know what PTSD is really. But we, the audience, know without a doubt he has PTSD, because it is clearly expressed to us. That is coding. Tyson is coded as having down syndrome. Nico is coded as being autistic. It doesn't make sense for Nico to turn to the camera and explain that he's autistic and what that means, because he definitely never got diagnosed for it and probably doesn't know what that means cause the diagnosis literally did not exist when he was growing up - and heck, autism terminology was still kind of getting sorted out back in 2007 when TTC was published, so it's unlikely we could have feasibly gotten any exact terminology wink-wink-nudge-nudges short of something like how Percy outright mentions other students called Tyson the r-slur in Sea of Monsters. And in fact we see that same exact style of coding with Nico later on in the series. Nico never turns to the camera and says word-for-word "I am gay, I am mlm, here's me wearing my exact pride flags" (until TOA/TSATS, which... did the exact thing i mentioned about characters speaking like theyre trying to get a good grade in therapy, or giving a powerpoint presentation). But it is never unclear that HoO is telling us outright that Nico is gay. It's not just hinted at. It's there, in your face. But entirely because no one ever outright says "gay" specifically it's technically still only coding. We know he's gay, we know the characters have trauma/ptsd, etc etc. We don't need it spelled out - that's just kind of condescending. It's like if you said describing a character with "eyes like moss" means they were "green-eye coded."

Nico being autistic-coded isn't hidden. It's not a secret. It's very overt. If you know what autism looks like, well, yeah, there he is. Even if you only know very vague 2007 media presentation of autism, Nico in TTC is easily recognizable enough as autistic because that's the point. Tyson is easily recognizable as being coded as having down syndrome and it's very clearly very intentional! It's just never spoon-fed in exact terms to the reader because it's not necessary! You've already been told the information necessary to tell you what is up with this character, so just plainly going "oh they're [x] in exact terms" is very much telling-not-showing and feels redundant. And while there are places for that kind of thing, most of the time it's very unnecessary. Sometimes coding is subtle, sometimes it's obvious, and yeah there are times where writers code characters unintentionally, but the textual evidence is there, and that's the whole point.

And that's what Death of the Author is about - it doesn't matter what the author intended at the end of the day, because if it's in the text it's in the text. You can look at author intent to try and figure out what that text means, but the text is the text. A Separate Peace is a very classic example - author John Knowles denies there being homosexual subtext, and meanwhile one of the protagonists living in 1942 puts on a pink shirt while saying he doesn't mind of people think of him as gay. What the author says after the fact doesn't matter - if it's there, it's there. So Rick saying anything outside of the books is completely irrelevant. And Rick talks about this a lot - he actively tells people that his statements outside of the books are just his own thoughts, but what's in the books is what's in the books, and if the text supports it then that's all the evidence you need.

Nico specifically is a case where yeah, he's clearly autistic-coded. It's very obvious and very obviously intentional when he's younger, and as the books progress it remains a background trait of his but is still notable (except for when it gets forgotten in TOA/TSATS like everything else, including the adhd/dyslexia, but i digress). It's a clear pattern within the first few books that Rick is intentionally including. It doesn't make sense, especially for the year the book was published, for the reader to be directly told in explicit terminology that Nico is autistic, because the reader is already being told that Nico is autistic.

And yeah, Rick doesn't mention Nico being autistic-coded outside of the text, but he also doesn't mention Tyson being coded as having down syndrome. He also said one time that Percy doesn't have PTSD at all, which is very incorrect starting from book 1. Again, Death of the Author. Whatever Rick says outside of the books does not matter, because he already said it in the books. And there's plenty of other stuff in the books that Rick doesn't touch upon, particularly relating to character identity - did you know Leo is Native? Sammy mentions that the Valdez family is Native in Son of Neptune but we don't get any specifics and then it's like never brought up again anywhere. That happens all the time in the series - and outside of the series - Rick can't possibly address every single point to confirm/deny everything from the books. That's what analysis is for! And that's why my blog exists 👍