#(and i think this is both more likely and funnier)

[ultimate-marysue]

My headcanon for sexualities for the Batfam is mostly baseless but I feel it so deep in my soul. You can tell me I'm wrong but you can take them from my cold dead hands.

Bruce Wayne: he's bi. Like, yeah that's obvious.

Barbara Gordon: Bi. She prefers women but she will go after a guy if he proves interesting enough. So far only Dick has truly caught her attention enough to date. She's also kinda masc, in my brain she's giving Ripley or Nora Price.

Dick Grayson: here's where people kill me, to me Dick is either straight with a preference for masc women or bi with a really big preference for women. Yes, he's fruity like that, but at this point he's been queer-baited so much it's funnier if he's the only straight one. Don't kill me I know I'm wrong.

Cassandra Cain: let my girl be a butch lesbian. The world would heal if Cass was a butch lesbian. I don't know how else to convince because it's just butch Cass. What is there not to love about Butch Cass? Give me butch Cass-

Jason Todd: That's a gay man. I can't explain it, but he is. Like, he's definitely fooled around with Artemis just to try and both of them decided "Nope". They're gay-lesbian solidarity. No one knows but not because it's a secret they just haven't bothered to ask.

Stephanie Brown: bi. Also, let her date Cass you fucking cowards. She would treat Steph so well, lord knows she deserves it after what DC puts her through. Let them be together I'm gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

Tim Drake: He's bi. DC got one right, that's a bisexual man and I don't know what else to tell you. I think he's more into guys than girls, but that's something he ends up realizing as he's older.

Duke Thomas: He's Ace or demi. Is this because he's one of my favorite characters and I'm bestowing him with my sexuality. Yes, moving on.

Damian Wayne: honestly I'd need to read older versions of him to get a better picture but maybe demi or bi. Whatever he is he is an absolute romantic about, that man will grow up to be Gomez Addams' levels of insane for his partner.

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I hope you take this as the compliment it is intended to be, but you strike the same chord of irreverence-as-love, jokes-to-showcase-sencerity that I get from Chuck Tingle, and I adore both of you.

You have bestowed the greatest honour upon me.

[amazingdeadfish]

Day Seven: Love Language

[new-austin]

Lots of questions in the notes. Understandably. I didn't expect this to get notes haha.

Yes all of these are actual posts I have seen, and yes, many of them were very likely bait. And also, yes, I did dumb them down or use more shocking language to make a funnier post.

I have seen several posts by different people claiming Emmrich is a slaver, pointing out the "hypocrisy" in his line with the slave he helps free in his first quest . While I will give it to them, a lot of mortalatasi and mages in general do abuse spirits Emmrich is so very clearly not one of them haha. His story makes that unquestionably clear, he finds it vile that mages, like Johanna, do this.

Only one post I've seen about spite and I sensationalized it a bit, they didn't say pedo, they just proposed that they found it weird because he's "Obviously child coded". I see him being a bit of a contrary little bitch (affectionate) at times but I think that has more to do with him being a spirit of spite rather than indication of age. He is noted to be a young spirit by curio and keepsake but I don't think that necessarily means child because they are both very very old spirits.

I've seen quite a few Taash negative posts call them child coded or way too childish. One post claimed to simultaneously be a long time dragon age fan while claiming taash was clearly "supposed to be the mental equivalent of 14 for their species" which is not a dragon age thing. All races age the same with the same life spans. I think they're very on par with most 20-somethings, especially ones with overbearing parents.

The killing Harding one I'm pretty sure was just someone airing out frustration with the general fandoms elf love above all else. But it wasn't claiming it was real world racist, rather fantasy racist, because people preferred elves over dwarves in this fandom.

Dragon age is back, I love going in the tags it's awful. Emmrich is enslaving Manfred, wanting to fuck spite makes you a pedo, Taash is child coded, Killing Harding is racist and more to come I'm sure

[miusato]

Honestly the main attraction for Shinjiham is how contrast their personality is and it is always funny for me to think about how people around them would react if they found out they're dating in this AU lol

[wanderer-clarisse]

I've reached the Helm's Deep chapter :>>

'Where is Gimli?'

'I do not know,' said Aragorn. 'I last saw him fighting on the ground behind the wall, but the enemy swept us apart.'

'Alas! That is evil news,' said Legolas.

'He is stout and strong,' said Aragorn. 'Let us hope that he will escape back to the caves. There he would be safe for a while. Safer than we. Such a refuge would be to the liking of a dwarf.'

'That must be my hope,' said Legolas. 'But I wish that he had come this way. I desired to tell Master Gimli that my tale is now thirty-nine.'

---

'Forty-two, Master Legolas!' he cried. 'Alas! My axe is notched: the forty-second had an iron collar on his neck. How is it with you?'

'You have passed my score by one,' answered Legolas. 'But I do not grudge you the game, so glad am I to see you on your legs!'

[pa-pa-plasma]

[lethal-spaceship]

Nerds switch clothes.

[snivyartjpeg]

and they were roommates

[ace-s-fav-dp-posts]

So I've seen DPxDC stories where Danny is Damian's twin brother or just full blood sibling in general and not biologically a Fenton at all, where he's Bruce and Maddie's son, Talia and Jack's son, stories where he's either Bruce or Talia's kid with some other random person and was adopted by the Fentons.

Stories where either Jack or Maddie is Ra's kid and Danny (and Jazz) are thus Damian's maternal first cousins.

I've even seen a few stories where Danny was just literally Ra's son, either by blood or by adoption.

I know of one specific post where Danny is Dusan's son and Mara's older brother, but that's it.

I have yet to see a single prompt where either of Danny's parents are descended of either Dusan or Nyssa even though both of them are far more than old enough to be grandparents.

Hell, Dusan is calculated to be around 750 years old by some people, while Nyssa canonically had her bloodline wiped out by the Nazis, a bloodline that included a great grandson and she has a confirmed birth year of 1775 (so she'd be nearly 250 years old in modern day).

So the idea of Damian's first cousin being an adult pushing 50 with kids older than Damian himself would be completely logical (if you go ahead of sticking the show aged DP characters into the 2020s).

Though to be honest if we go this route I'd pick different Fenton Parents and generational displacement from Ra's depending on which of Ra's kids Danny and Jazz are descended from.

If they're descended from Dusan, then I'd pick Jack as being his son, and Mara's older half brother, who is older than her by like 46 years.

The Fenton's are actually aware of their connection to a quasi-immortal assassin, but Jack and Maddie do their best to keep their kids out of that life.

Which Dusan isn't supper accepting about. But he also only discovered Jack when he was already an adult, and if he wants to be invited to his grandkid's birthdays and be allowed to drop Mara off at the Fenton house to be watched he just kind of has to accept that his son and grandchildren aren't interested in the Al Ghul legacy.

While if it's Maddie who's descended from the Al Ghul bloodline, then I'd want her and Alicia to be descended from Nyssa's line, specifically Vasily Vasilevich, Nyssa's great grandson.

Nyssa thinks he's killed by the Nazi's like the rest of her descendants but because he's an infant someone actually manages to smuggle him away before he actually enters any camp. He eventually ends up smuggled all the way to the United States, where he's given a new name, and raised as an American by the family that took him as their own while fleeing from the Nazi's and smuggled him to the state's in the first place.

So Maddie and Alicia are both Nyssa's great great granddaughters, while Danny, Jazz, and Dani are Nyssa's great great great grandchildren. The Fenton's (and Walkers if we go ahead with making that Maddie and Alicia's maiden names), have no idea that they're descended from a weird eco terrorist assassin cult...

Until Jazz insists on the family doing one of those at home dna tests after Maddie casually dropped family lore about how her dad wasn't the biological child of her grandparents, and that they'd ended up taking him in when fleeing Europe from Nazi persecution, and no one knew who his birth parents were or if any of his biological family survived or not. Or even the name his biological parents gave him.

Jazz just thinks this is going to be a fun family history project where nothing weird will happen, unbeknownst to her Tim Drake has created backdoor access to every single one of those at home dna testing databases he can find, specifically looking for hits on the Al Ghul family tree.

That man might be old as fucking dirt, but Talia's existence (and backstory of being conceived at Woodstock with a random hippy lady) is proof that Ra's is more likely than not still producing swimmers and going around banging random women much to Tim's horror.

And Tim wants to know if any oopsie Al Ghuls pop out of the woodwork before Ra's does, at the very least to try and prevent any more from getting indoctrinated into the League of Assassins.

I just feel like either one of these would really hammer home that Ra's line really is comprised of largely unaging immortals (if they have access to a Lazarus pit and want to), who's outer age doesn't really reflect their actual age at all.

WIth Mara and Jack being half siblings but also like 40+ years apart in age, or Maddie being Nyssa's great great granddaughter but looking basically the same age.

Because DC's never really pushes that when it comes to Ra's. Sure all of his kids are adults, but all of them are also seem to be frozen between the ages of like 30 to 50 years old, with Ra's himself looking around 70-ish, and then all of his grandkids (who we get to see) are literal children.

So if you were to take a family picture of Ra's and the descendants (who matter and) we get to see in the comics, it would just look like a normal family portrait or family tree. The grandparent looks 20-30 years older then the Parents/Aunt/Uncle generation, who looks 20-30 years older than the child generation.

Like I just feel there should be more family line fuckery going on with the Al Ghul family than there is in canon.

Or hell you could make Jack or Maddie Talia's kid if you go with the really old canon of Talia also actually being a lot older but using the Lazarus Pits to stay physically young. I think she's like 150 in that continuity but using the pits to stay in her 30s or so.

Then you could just have Jazz or Danny show up and Damian introduce them to the Batfam as his niece and nephew, played best with Damian being around ten, but Danny and Jazz in their late teens or even early 20s.

[captainsjack]

in the next mission impossible movie there better be a scene where the one (1) female agent they have has to seduce/flirt with a guy to get information out of him except when she tries, he makes it clear he’s not interested and says something implying he’s gay. so she walks away and into the comms tells the team it didn’t work because “i’m not his type.” then we get semi-frustrated team members telling her “well then become his type, we need the info” etc only for her to interrupt with “i think one of you boys will have a better chance.” then the comms go silent and it cuts to each team member’s reaction of “😳” and the “oh”s as they realize he’s gay. except when it cuts to ethan’s reaction, he’s already sauntering over to the guy and we just hear him say “i’m on it” and then we get scenes of ethan seducing the bad guy and he gets to gay kiss him. if this doesn’t happen i will riot

[loppiopio]

just some 🥥 related sillies i've made for that fic we all know.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

They would have made Xiao Xingchen pull the car over at least once an hour if they ever did a road trip together.

[eldritch-something-or-other]

shout out to the worst couple out there

original image under the cut

from Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: 25 Years Later

[ruvviks]

Mikhail and Vitali were inseparable; when they weren’t studying or getting into fights, they would hang out at Mikhail’s place to smoke and get drunk on cheap rum and vodka, to then pass out in each other’s arms and sleep most of the next day away. They promised each other— no matter what would happen— they would never leave each other’s side. Yet after starting university and college respectively, they did not see each other for a little over six years, leaving them both heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.

by lucas expedidor // catch me if you can; eden // clementine von radics, from 'courtney love prays to oregon' // sam sax, cruising: a broken tiara // 'ceramic home' by heavensghost; quote from john murillo // 'something's changed' by laiikastears // i don't want to watch the world end with someone else; clinton kane // fortesa latifi, from 'the truth about grief' // audre lorde, the evening news // frank o'hara, biotherm (for bill berkson) // heading home; ruben // 'preface to a dream' by alessandra casini // tokyo; caroline kole // langston hughes, poem // haruki murakami, norwegian wood // julie buntin, marlena // by lute // by aleksandr popov // anyway; noah kahan // christa wolf, cassandra: a novel and four essays