#so i decided Full Render would be funnier

[eldritch-something-or-other]

shout out to the worst couple out there

original image under the cut

from Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: 25 Years Later

[cjgladback]

My mom requested fridge art from her daughters. And I'd already sketched one siren a bit after first seeing that one post, but that composition definitely will require the layers afforded by digital painting. So behold! A fire engine and its siren. Not too shabby for both my yellow and red markers giving up the ghost while I wasn't paying attention the last few years.

(This is the first time I've really seen how Tumblr size compression can murder a gif, but it wasn't at all helpful at the 540px width so click for quality.)

I did color in the wipers I'd forgotten and make the emblem on the door slightly more legible while editing my phone pic.

Image descriptions under the cut:

[ID: First image is a colorful drawing of a fire engine seen in three-quarters profile, driving toward camera left. On the roof of the truck's cab is a rough rock formation with a large mermaid lying on it, her tail draped down between the cab and trailer of the truck, her left arm pressing against the rocks, and her head held high while she speaks into a megaphone in her right hand. Her hair streams behind her toward a spiky word bubble with a zigzagged electronic tail that reads, "Get out th'way!" in all-caps. The headlights and amber light bar above the truck windshield are all on and the pavement and traffic lines below are represented with horizontal slashes of marker. The drawing is inked with even, thin black lines (a micron pen size 02) and colored with varied hatching with non-blending markers. On close inspection, the emblem on the fire engine's door reads "escucha las sirenas" in all-caps, Spanish for both "listen to the sirens" and "listen to the mermaids."

Second image is a gif of phone camera pictures showing six stages of the fire engine siren process and the final digital edit. First pencil sketch; second all but the lettering inked; third all but the lettering pencil marks erased; fourth inked word bubble with more emphatic italicized lettering; fifth the beginning layers of marker where the artist took a break with some yellow-orange, light red-orange, light blue, and periwinkle mostly over the truck cab; sixth the fully colored phone picture; and finally the edited shot with the white of the page and vibrancy of the colors restored as well as a coloring in the space around the door emblem with a brighter red for readable contrast. End ID]

[jbuffyangel]

A Leap of Faith: Arrow 1x14 Review (The Odyssey)

WE HAVE ARRIVED!!!! FELICITY KNOWS!!! HALLELUJAH!

Hello to those who are reading this review right now.  I appreciate your dedication and patience as I have FINALLY resumed writing. HUGS!! I hope I remember how to do this. DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!!

Let’s dig in…

Olicity

This is a heavy flashback episode, so much so they had to render Oliver unconscious so Stephen didn’t have to pull double duty in the past and the present. The writers at least came up with a better idea than Joss Whedon did when Sarah Michelle Gellar hosted Saturday Night Live. He turned Buffy into a rat (which now that we know his disgusting and abusive behavior on set towards women this really tracks, but I digress). 

Arrow went a simpler route. Moira shoots Oliver.

Can we just talk about Moira shooting Oliver for a sec? Cool? Cool. So, Diggle has bugged Moira because he added 1 + 1 = THE BITCH IS SHADEY and decided to deal with the math, which is something Oliver likes to avoid, but the recording is damning enough to warrant a visit from the Hood. Oliver crashes through the window, takes out some of the office dudes and aims an arrow on his mama.

Moira holds up a picture of Oliver and Thea, begs the Hood not to kill her because she’s a mother and Oliver lessens the tension on the bow. AS IF YOU’RE GOING TO SHOOT HER OLIVER PLEASE. LIKE YOU MOMENTARILY FORGOT THIS WAS YOUR MOTHER AND THE PHOTO REMINDED YOU??!!! Come on dude.

Side note: I’d like to point out that Moira literally uses Oliver and Thea’s photo as a shield against the Hood, which is what she always does. She uses her motherhood and children as shield to justify her bad behavior. Moira is not the only person to give birth on this planet, Oliver. It’s not a free pass to murder people.

Oliver is bleeding out and the person he asks for help is not Diggle (even though he’s a phone call away), L*urel (the writers would prefer not to further integrate her into the plot in a meaningful way) or Tommy (they have to save that golden nugget for another time). No, the person Oliver goes to help is FELICITY MEGHAN SMOAK.

Source: @oliverxfelicity

The scene where Felicity finds out Oliver is the Hood is iconic primarily because she has the best reaction of all the characters in the show. Emily Bett Rickards plays the scene with pitch perfect comedic timing, vindication and genuine compassion. It marks Felicity’s full integration into the show. There is no going back now.

The rewatch is funnier now than it was live because Emily has recounted numerous times that Stephen didn’t fit into the back of Felicity’s Mini Cooper. I have the visual of Stephen’s bottom half hanging out of the side door the scene plays out. 

Felicity brings Oliver to the Foundry as instructed and this is no small thing. Oliver has been shot enough times to know he was losing a lot of blood and would be unconscious soon. He doesn’t make any kind of contact with Diggle to let him know what happened. Oliver’s life is truly in Felicity’s hands. She could bring him to the hospital, but they both know that would result in revealing The Hood’s true identity. Oliver has no guarantees Felicity won’t immediately go to the police either, and yet there he is in the back of the Mini Cooper.

Source: @westallenolicitygifs

TRUST is a central theme in Olicity’s relationship. It’s examined from almost every possible angle over the course of 8 seasons, but these early episodes are the building blocks. You don’t get to 1x14 without 1x12. Felicity took the first step. She confronted Oliver about his lies, admits she had no real reason to trust him, and yet there she is in the restaurant handing over Moira’s copy of The List. Felicity takes a leap of faith and so Oliver does the same.

This revelation has been steadily building from the moment Oliver walked into Felicity’s office and presented the bullet ridden computer. 

Source: @swifterly

Arrow has many missteps, particularly when they are not invested in a character, but when the writers are invested they can produce really profound character arcs. They slowly and rather painstakingly build Felicity’s character and her relationship with Oliver, step by step, moment by moment. It doesn’t feel rushed when Felicity discovers Oliver’s identity, but it doesn’t feel overdue either.  

It’s Felicity herself who asks the most fundamental question in “The Odyssey” and perhaps in the show.

Source: https://gfycat.com/discover/1x14-gifs

I think one of the more remarkable aspects to Arrow is that the writers often anticipate the audience’s questions and literally answer them in the show. More often than not, Felicity is the voice of the audience. It’s difficult to explain how dismissive some viewers were of Felicity now that we know how the story played out, but Olicity shippers really had it rough back in Season 1 and Season 2. 

It was LUDICROUS to even consider Felicity as a potential love interest for Oliver - not when you had the queen of comic canon L*urel L*ance right there. This was the Green Arrow’s origin story and there was no other possible ending other than Oliver ending up with the Bl*ck C*anary. 

Anyone who dared to question the presumed trajectory of the story was on the receiving end of a lot of ridicule and hate. Olicity shippers were idiotic. We were delusional. Felicity Smoak was comedic relief and the Girl Friday. THAT WAS ALL SHE WAS EVER GOING TO BE.

And yet… we hoped because of scenes like THIS. The writers were challenging their own narrative by asking the very question some of the audience was asking. WHY FELICITY? Why does Felicity find out the truth and not L*urel? Why does Oliver go to HER? If this was really about her ability with computers and becoming his Girl Friday then Diggle would’ve answered that way, but he doesn’t.

John’s answer contains a lot more depth.

“As hard as it is for him to admit, even Oliver needs help sometimes.”

Oliver NEEDS help. He cannot do this alone, even though that was his very intention in the beginning, but as the mission evolved so did Oliver. He went to Diggle first and now Felicity. Yes, they both have skills that are useful to the mission. Diggle is a trained solder. Felicity is a tech genius. (Oliver clearly had some computer skills in the pilot that the writers rapidly backed off of once they discovered the gem that is Emily Bett Rickards.) We can easily right this off as skills are the only qualifications that matter answer.

But Diggle didn’t join Oliver’s mission because he thought Oliver needed back up in the field. John recognized Oliver’s trauma because it was the same as his trauma. Diggle knows the hole Oliver is in because he was in the hole too. Diggle’s mission was always to save Oliver Queen. Whether or not Oliver is capable of acknowledging this is the help he truly needs from John (and he’s sooooooo not capable at this point in the story), it doesn’t change the truth.

The antis aren’t entirely wrong. Felicity Smoak was nothing. She was a throw away comic book name that Marc Guggenheim tossed into a little scene with an unknown guest star to give it some extra pizzazz. But that’s all it was ever supposed to be – one scene. What happened next was completely unexpected for the writers and the actors. Emily’s performance sparked something in Stephen’s and thus lighted the path the writers were struggling to find in Season 1. Felicity wasn’t supposed to matter, but that’s exactly why she does.

Oliver’s story is not about how many comic book characters Arrow can produce. It’s not about reproducing a comic canon story directly from the issue page onto a television screen. It’s not about a predetermined ending. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times. It’s about a broken man finding his humanity again. Arrow is about saving a man’s soul.

If we are to truly believe Oliver is a changed man then he must see beyond what’s on the surface. He has to see value and worth in all people – particularly those who are perceived to be nothing.  This is an origin story. He’s not the Green Arrow yet, but for us to believe in his hero’s journey then Oliver Queen must see people’s humanity. The sum total of his mission is not crossing off a list of names.

Felicity Smoak is the first person who sparks something in Oliver when he returns home. This inconsequential human being, who is a means to an end to catch a bad guy, finds a way past Oliver’s cold and detached demeanor and makes him smile. We see Oliver’s humanity. We glimpse the warm, kind and deeply good person Oliver is. We see his light. Felicity makes Oliver feel something he cannot quite put into words, but he keeps coming back for more.

People are dismissive of Felicity the same way so many of the characters are dismissive of Oliver. One of the main reasons he’s able to keep his identity secret is because so many of his loved ones believe it’s ludicrous to ever think Oliver is a crime fighting vigilante. He’s too selfish and stupid for that. Nobody bothers to look past Oliver’s surface other than Diggle.

I mean… why not L*urel? The woman is a friggin lawyer and she has helped the Hood before. Doesn’t it make more sense at this point to bring her into the team? Shouldn’t Oliver rebuild his relationship with L*urel by allowing her to know the person he truly is? Their relationship fell apart because of lies and betrayal, so wouldn’t the fix be honesty and complete transparency? The answer to those questions are clearly yes, but Oliver has absolutely no intention of ever telling L*urel his true identity, so there’s a solid 75% of his life that she will never know about. What kind of relationship is that?

Oliver has told two virtual strangers his identity while keeping those he loves most in the dark. Why? I don’t think he trusts L*urel. He doesn’t trust she won’t turn him into daddy. His identity is safe if he’s in her good graces, but if L*urel decides she hates Oliver one week then it’s a trip to the slammer for him.

Before anyone jumps on the whole “Oliver is keeping his identity secret to protect L*urel” bandwagon, I’d like to point out that Diggle brings up this very point to Oliver after he is revived.  

I really don’t think Oliver is ambivalent about Felicity’s safety, quite the opposite is true. So, if it’s really that simple then why can’t Oliver protect L*urel? He literally chucks his number one reason for a secret identity right out the window.

Oliver doesn’t want to tell L*ruel because there’s too much pain, loss and guilt. There’s too much bad road between them. Oliver doesn’t have anything to atone for with Felicity and Diggle. The fact they didn’t know pre-island Ollie is a real friggin plus at this point. Oliver can just be who he is. It’s a clean slate.

Source: @westallenolicitygifs 

LOOK at how ambivalent this man is towards life. He just survived death AGAIN and he can barely summon any appreciation beyond “Cool.” But the very next scene is Oliver shaking Felicity’s hand and welcoming her to the team. 

Source: @westallenolicitygifs 

Did y’all fangirl over the handshake? These are the seasons where seasons where shoulders are Oliver and Felicity’s erogenous zones, so an actual handshake is practically second base.

Oliver extends the same invitation to Felicity that he offered to Diggle. She’s pretty much a member of Team Arrow at this point anyways. But like Diggle, Felicity has her own reasons for joining up with Oliver. Her goal is to save Walter simply because he was nice to her. Felicity is as loyal as they come.

Source: @andjustforthismoment

We can breathe a sigh of relief. The show is on the upswing because Felicity is finally officially on the team. From the moment she enters the Foundry, it feels like Felicity is coming home.  This is where she was always meant to be. Her bright magenta sweater (with matching lipstick naturally) is like a burst of colorful sunshine amongst all the grey, black and green. It’s been thirteen episodes of just Oliver and Diggle yapping while shirtless. Don’t get me wrong, I like the shirtless, but this show is in major need of a feminine injection. I wonder if she’ll decorate a little.

Source: @swifterly 

Felicity is the ONLY woman in Oliver’s life who knows who he truly is. This is no small matter. I disagree with Diggle. Oliver did have a choice. There were other people he could have called for help, but he chose Felicity. He doesn’t have to pretend with her anymore and I think that’s in large part why he tells her. Oliver lies so convincingly with everyone in his life, but not Felicity. He is terrible at lying to Felicity because he doesn’t want to lie to her. It’s just that simple. He cannot quantify what he feels at this point, but it is Felicity who reminds Oliver what it means to be human.

And if you’re truly paying attention to the show the writers tell us why Felicity from the very beginning. We weren’t delusional. We were right.

Source: @yet-i-remain-quiet

Felicity and Diggle

Stephen Amell is pulling full time duty in the flashbacks, which allows for a long overdue quality Diggle and Felicity scene. These are always so wonderful and so rare.

Source: intrepidmare 

Diggle catches Felicity up on the previous thirteen episodes and confirms everything she already knew. The fact that she’s the only character to figure out who Oliver is BEFORE he reveals his identity speaks volumes about her. Felicity is brilliant of course, but you don’t need to be a genius to piece this puzzle together.  I appreciate the writers don’t treat her like an idiot for the sake of keeping an identity secret from someone who clearly should’ve figured it out by now (*cough*Laurel*cough*)

Not that I’m taking anything away from Diggle, but he was a hell of a lot more shocked when Oliver revealed he was the Hood. I think Diggle knew there was a lot more to Oliver Queen than he was letting on and he was up to some shifty behavior, but I don’t think Diggle believed that meant he was murdering criminals with a bow and arrow on a nightly basis.

As they wait for Oliver to recover, Felicity decides to pass the time by asking John how he feels about all the murder. It’s one of the few times we hear about Diggle’s experience in Afghanistan and we get a clearer understanding on where John’s moral compass is pointing lately. 

He tells Felicity about the time he killed a young boy in order to protect a warlord in Afghanistan. There’s nothing more righteous than fighting for your country and yet Diggle had to do terrible things. He wanted to be an honorable solider, but came home feeling like he lost his honor. He couldn’t see what good he truly accomplished.

Diggle: I killed this kid to protect this human piece of garbage and I thought am I still good? Am I still a good man? Doing this with Oliver, doing what we do, I feel good again for the first time in a long time.

It is seriously one of David Ramsey’s most underrated performances.

John’s explanation is simple. Yes, Oliver kills but they are bad people. John isn’t thrilled about the murder, but it’s not like he enjoyed killing while in Afghanistan and he knows Oliver doesn’t enjoy it either. Loss of life is the cost of war, and sometimes a necessary evil, but at least in this war John feels like he’s actually accomplishing something. Diggle is finding his honor again. If he has to break the law to win the war then it’s a cost Diggle is willing to pay.

Source: @swifterly

This scene is key to understanding why Felicity joins the team. Yes, she wants to save Walter, but it means a certain level of acceptance with the way Oliver does business. We’re going to flesh out Felicity’s attitude about Oliver’s killing a lot more in the upcoming episodes, but he may need to take some lives of VERY EVIL PEOPLE in order to save Walter’s life. Felicity is not stupid. She knows this.

One of my annoyances in later seasons is whenever Oliver does something bad to Felicity it can be treated like the worst thing he’s ever done. Whereas I remain firmly entrenched in torture and murder being the worst things Oliver has ever done. Homegirl not only joined up with Oliver while he was dropping bodies left and right, she also fell in love with him while he was doing it. 

Felicity Smoak is not pure as the driven snow. Her moral compass skews slightly left of dead center, no different than Oliver and Diggle. But we have to ask the same question Diggle asks himself every day – what is good? Oliver operates in a world of grey and watching Felicity navigate it with him is what gives their dynamic the necessary push and pull.

Flashbacks

Shockingly, everything I talked about previously is not the main focus of the episode. The Flashbacks are the main focus, but my investment in them was minimal when I watched Season 1 live and they’ve plummeted further upon my rewatch.

Island Ollie is such a pain in the ass. Honestly, I cannot believe Slade and Yao Fei put up with his ass for so long. Could you blame them if they just bitched slapped the hell out of Oliver and left him for dead? No. They deserve medals. Oliver is so whiney & entitled. How did any woman find this man attractive enough to sleep with him? The hair alone is ... 

WOMEN OF STARLING CITY I HAVE QUESTIONS.

Slade and Oliver are going to commandeer a plane and fly off the island. Oliver would also like to save Yao Fei, but Slade is not convinced it is worth the effort. Oliver’s refusal to abandon Yao Fei gives us a glimpse of the hero he will become, so I am willing to give credit where credit is due. But Ollie is right back to his old tricks when he tries to buy off Billy Wintergreen to save his own life.  

Dear Ollie,

These people are psychopaths. You are in Purgatory. You are paying for your sins. You will not be able to buy your way out of it.

Love,

Me

Slade’s training is not a total loss. Well, that’s not true. Oliver screws up virtually every job Slade gives him, but he is able to disarm a bad guy so that’s progress at least. Slade kills his ex BFF Billy Wintergreen too so Team Island is also on an upswing.

I wondered how much I was going to have to write about The Odyssey since the name of the episode is “The Odyssey” but leave it to Arrow to be subtle about it. It’s the book Fyers is reading on the island and the only book Oliver read in college, so he knows the secret challenge code when the pilot tries to verify their identity.

For those who never had an English literature class, The Odyssey is a Greek poem written by Homer about Odysseus’ 10 year struggle to return home after the Trojan War. The challenge code Oliver repeats from the poem flat out explains what Arrow is about. 

“Of all creatures that breathe and move upon the earth, nothing is bred that is weaker than man.”

Homer is acknowledging that humanity is weak by our very nature, especially when compared to the gods. We are powerless against the pain the gods inflict upon humanity, but more often than not we are the makers our own suffering. Yet, it is this very weakness which makes our victories so sweet. The gods‘ immortality & power ultimately renders their lives meaningless because they have nothing to lose.

Odysseus doesn’t have any magical powers. He survives by his cunning & will, which makes his journey home EARNED. Odysseus appreciates life and those he loves because he suffered. This appreciation for life is something the gods can never have.

“The gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.” — Homer, The Iliad

Oliver = Odysseus. Here endeth the lesson.

Stray Thoughts

Oliver making Mama Queen off limits is really one of his stupider moves and sets up a lot of the disastrous things coming up.

I’m really trying not to read into Diggle’s “hickey gone wrong” comment in the episode Felicity officially joins the team, but alas I am failing. I will find my Olicity sexual content wherever possible.

Felicity ordered the sample of Oliver’s blood destroyed. Damn she’s good. And we get this adorable gif.

The bathroom is upstairs in the club? That seems inconvenient.

Yao Fei has a daughter. A daughter with the same tattoo Oliver has on his shoulder. The plot thickens.

It’s really amazing Diggle didn’t shoot Felicity by accident.

Me: UGH. They never include L*urel in the flashbacks. Also Me: UGH. L*urel is in the flashbacks. KEEP IT.

“Do you think you can sleep with your girlfriend’s sister and make it right?” Slade wins all the awards this episode honestly. Finally someone said it.

***No more commentary from the child. She is a teenager and is way too busy to watch a show with her old mom. She will always be an Olicity shipper though.

Listen to the @watchover-podcast reaction to 1x14!!! 

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

[yarichin-imagines]

Hi!!! okokok, how bout a s/o who has a kind of quirk (just like bnha!), how do you think they would react? Like, I think they'd probably integrate into something related to sex or develop a kink (? LMAO

y'all i am so into bnha you have no idea!! also, for neutrality purposes, i'll be using the quirks of deku, todoroki, bakugou, uraraka, kirishima, denki, sero, iida, and satou, all from class 1A, mostly just because none of their quirks rely on physical appearances!!

tw: impact, dubcon (drugging, somno), dummification if you squint

Toono – S/O's Quirk: One for All – This Quirk is a union of two different Quirks, one that stockpiles power and one that passes itself on to another. The user can momentarily gain strength and speed far greater than any other Quirk and hero.

thankfully by the time he'd met you, you'd mastered the use of your Quirk

you were never the prance about type to flash around your power anyway

you preferred to use it for more mundane tasks – like opening pickle jars and carrying the groceries into the house in one trip

he found out about it on accident

he was on his way out when he caught you in the parking lot coming in––

with your car in hand, two feet off the ground

you'd dropped your fob somewhere underneath it and couldn't see

toono passed out

when he came to, his first questions revolved around whether or not the car was okay

once he wraps his head around it though..

he's way more into it than he tells you

but it also fuckin terrifies him

so much so that he really doesn't want you to use it on him

definitely has watched you use it so intently that he can nut off to it later

maybe one day he'll pluck up and ask you to activate it for some pictures he can keep

Kashima - S/O's Quirk: Half-Cold, Half-Hot – This Quirk splits the user into two, half of the user's body can emit ice, the other half emits fire.

honesty is a pillar to kashima's relationship

your quirk came to light a month or so into seeing him

and at first, he was mostly excited about the health benefits

he decides then and there that you gotta do him a solid and chill his side of the bed

that way he can keep cool when he sleeps

sometimes

even if he's half asleep

he'll grab your right hand with a lil soft tug

and in your drowsy stupor you chill his pillow so there's no need for a flip

makes him grin like an idiot every time

when he comes home from practice or from the gym he has you freeze and unfreeze the bathwater-- saves you guys a whole lot of ice

he doesn't mind letting you ease his muscles with your left side after all the heats works wonders that would make any rice pack green with envy

as a top, kashima's got complete control in the bedroom

all day, he'll ask you to close your eyes and heat something up, maybe it's a vibrator or a dildo

or when you chill something, they're usually beads or a plug

all for him to torment you with later on that night

Yacchan – S/O's Quirk: Explosion – This Quirk allows the user to sweat a substance similar to Nitroglycerin from the user's palms and ignite it to create explosions.

kyosuke recognizes it's too dangerous to use in the bedroom

but that being said, there's plenty of other stuff around the place to let you show off

your firework shows are always the best on the block

especially when he sets some off right when yuu isn't expecting it

mainly, yacchan appreciates your quirk when it comes to pulling pranks

It's really funny when you're popping ziploc bags full of nothing right outside tamura's dorm when he's trying to power nap before exams

and even funnier when he storms out in just tighty whities to yell at you

only to meet the flash of yacchan's cellphone

toono will fall asleep during study sessions sometimes and yacchan will facetime you so you can let out a boom and wake him up

he will most definitely fall off the bed and yacchan will most definitely record it

the two of you are the best of the worst that way

Shikatani – S/O's Quirk: Zero Gravity – This Quirk allows the user to cause people and items to float on contact. There is a weight limit on how much the user can levitate, and if this Quirk is used to much, it will cause the user to get sick.

it's really helpful when you help him deep clean

after all, if the supplies are gracefully floating behind him, that leaves his hands free to do twice the work, saving him half the time

but you're content to watch the beautiful boy work

if you help him clean like that, he won't ask for much more that day

he is very very conscious of how much you use your quirk

because he cares about you too much to let you get sick

since he knows for a fact that because of his ocd he won't be able to take care of you

and that stings

so on the days where the chores have all been done he gets the honor of experiencing the effects of your quirk in bed

he likes how it feels when your tease him from the air above

your throat feels more open

but it's not like he can do too much about it since the instant he gets too eager you always float just out of reach

sometimes if he's behaved very well, you'll suspend him

the headrush he gets is euphoric

but the best is how good you are when you blow out his back with your strap

after all, without gravity, your stroke game is literally out of this world

Akemi – S/O's Quirk: Hardening – This Quirk allows the user to harden any part of their body. This shell can withstand several tons of metal falling on the user, along with shock waves, explosions, etc.

there's nothing cuter to akemi keiichi than a brat

if you want to misbehave?

by all means

go right ahead

he'll leave it to you to exhaust yourself

that's the first time he saw you use it

he wasn't aiming to cause any major damage, he was only spanking you with his hand

but he'd been at it for almost an hour

then suddenly he'd pushed you off him after he'd slapped what felt like a solid rock

not that it could stop him

his eyes only grew darker

from then on out, it was all a game to see how far he could push before the shell wore down and you gave into him

Itome – S/O's Quirk: Electrification – This Quirk allows the user to discharge electricity out of the user's body. It goes out in all directions around the user, and can be used to even charge objects, such as batteries. There is a limit to how much this Quirk can be used, and if used too much, the user will short circuit their own brain, and won't be able to do anything for an hour.

of course you can charge his phone in a pinch when it dies at the worst possible moment

hotwire his car when he's already running late

restart the fusebox when there's a power outage

after hours, itome's not a hard dom

not in the slightest

but every once in awhile, he can be particularly malicious

like when he has you overcharge your vibrators to give him the liberty of overstimulating you for longer

really it's less about the scene and more about what comes after

due to the limits of your quirk, aftercare is all on him

that's what he likes the most

taking care of you completely

being able to coax you through your braindead state

clean you off and pose you all comfortable

you're all the sweeter when you come to, when you come back to him

Yuri – S/O's Quirk: Tape – This Quirk allows the user to shoot extremely strong tape from openings on the user's elbows.

the tape is good for fixing most messes yuri gets himself into, clumsy fuck

also waxing!

of course he's gonna be into it

he loves the sting it leaves when you pull it off him the most

and he feels it all over again when there's red rectangular patches all across his skin the next morning

though the gluey part is a bit of a pain to wash off

sometimes he'll leave it for him to pick at throughout the day -- that way he'll get the shivers, makes him hot all over again!

he literally cannot get enough

when you do your school work or anything that diverts your attention from him, he'll be tugging at your elbow

this way you can restrain him until you're ready to ahem

put him to use

you can also use your tape to toss him around, floor to bed to floor to wherever

sometimes you even tape up his face, cover his mouth until the drool renders the tape into a thin flimsy strip

you tie his hands tighter and tighter every time, and it never breaks him

he loves it

on the other hand, yuri can be quite the slippery fuck

for emergencies, you've got some of your tape stored away

you've woken up more than once hogtied, your quirk turned against you

like it or not, yuri can easily turn the tables and you're almost never expecting it

you might have an unlimited supply, but he's too quick for your own good

Tamura – S/O's Quirk: Engine – This Quirk gives the user incredible speed by engine-like protrusions in the user's calves. The engines are fueled by orange juice, and carbonated drinks will mess the engines up.

he calls a 40 meter dash every single weekend

he sets his treadmill to train for it the whole week

but he never beats you

and it seriously pisses him off

you're always faster, no matter the game

if anything, it motivates him

he'll take the bruised ego if it helps him get into better shape

the fact that sometimes, you let him win makes his "engines" overheat faster than you can blink

he'll chase you and chase you for hours

fueled on adrenaline and testosterone, there's no way he'll tap out before you

expect a long, hard bite once he catches you

he goes absolutely animalistic

that lilt in his voice when he finally gets to sink his teeth into your shoulder, even if it's through a shirt, that doesn't matter to him

"caught you"

Jimmy – S/O's Quirk: Sugar Rush – This Quirk allows the user to become stronger and faster every 10 grams of sugar they eat for three minutes. The more the user uses this Quirk, the dumber they get.

every time he catches you snacking on a chocolate bar his whole brain turns off

he's practically jumping, the way he bounces around

waiting for you to inevitably choke slam him against the nearest surface

wall, couch, bed, anything

he likes it when you just toss him over your shoulder

even more the way your hits are harder than usual

he antagonizes you on purpose

making sure to stuff a grocery cart full of sweets he knows you like so that he can catch you snacking and make him pay through the nose

he always asks so nicely

but when you won't give in, well that just won't do!

doses your miso with sugar, drops in three extra cubes in your milk tea, encourages extra flan for dessert

for the next three minutes, you're nearly tripping over yourself

everything is lighter

and then when the crash hits---

jimmy can finally take what he wants

and karma is quite the bitch

[dragonofelder]

Eri in the Past - Story Idea Part 2

I’m back again, with more! Both some present day stuff, as well as glimpses of Eri’s future. But that can wait, so on with the plot!

Last we left off, the time traveling Eri has escaped Overhaul early, and is now living with Eraserhead (Aizawa) and his husband Present Mic ( Yamada)

(Aizawa is still looking out for flaws in Eri’s act. He knows something is wrong, beyond the obvious.) 

Not much happens for a while, in all honestly. Eri isn't dumb enough to go wandering by herself, so she can’t go find any of her future siblings, especially Izuku

I’ll say Eri knows about One for All, and that in the current time Izuku is still training with All Might

So she just waits, relaxing and making plans.

Because the UA teachers are nosy, especially Midnight, she meets a bunch of them, including Nedzu

(She doesn't know that meeting was so Aizawa could get the principal’s opinion on her.)

Meanwhile Midnight declares herself Eri’s aunt, and agrees with Mic that she is the cutest 

Come the time of the entrance exam, she tries to convince her parents to take her, but nope

Mainly because she tried to convince Aizawa (who is, yanno, suspicious)

When term comes round she goes after Mic instead, turning up the cute factor.

This works, because Mic is weak. According to Aizawa at least

So Eri gets taken to UA, but is left in a staff room with books and such, and told not to go wandering

Ha, yeah right

(Unknown to Eri, this is another test)

Eri watches 1-A’s Quirk Apprehension Test, but gets caught by All Might

(Because he was part of the Shie Hassaikai raid, All Might does know about Eri, that she is living with Aizawa, and that she is under investigation)

But she is very cute, and All Might is very weak, so he can’t be that mad

Aizawa is less happy, but silently accepts this will be his life now

Eri searches for (stalks) Mirio and the other Big Three, and weasels her way into his heart

(She’s doing a lot of weaseling in this. I just like the word. Weasel)

Eri properly meets 1-A during the Battle Trial, when she sneaks into the control room to watch

They find her adorable but strange

She says her dad is a teacher, but she doesn't tell them its Aizawa, leaving them to speculate.

Meanwhile, Eri is making plans to stop USJ

(Because I dislike the traitor sub-plot, I’m going to use a common fic thing and say Shigaraki used the press as a distraction to sneak in, and steal info from a staff room.)

Be a shame, if... all the files had been drawn on. With permanent marker.

Oh dear

Eri apologies to All Might for drawing on his work documents, she’d run out of paper.

The fact some of them have been turned to dust has nothing to do with her, honest!

(Cute Weasel Face)

Sadly it’s here my ideas for this AU ends. I don’t know where the plot would go from here, except Eri eventually being found out. And hugs, lots of hugs.

What I can give you is stuff about the PLF War from Eri’s future! Sad stuff first, slowly becoming funnier.

The war lasted for about four years, destroying a lot of Japan in the process

Other countries had similar uprisings, or those that simply took advantage of the chaos

It ended with the death of Shigaraki, which was reluctantly caused by the Symbol of Heroism, Deku

At that point Shigaraki was 101% percent mad, stuffed so full of quirks he was actually reaching the limit of All for One, and would not stay down at all

So really, no one can blame Izuku for having to do it

A bunch of other villains died, some due to infighting (see below) but some because the Hero Commission basically gave heroes the right to kill

There were a large number of Hero deaths as, including;

Yagi died after he gave himself up as a hostage to save an entire city. His pre-recorded eulogy told the world to never give up hope, and fight always against evil.

Aizawa died protecting his students, holding off a horde of Nomu

Mirio, still quirkless, volunteered for rescue operations, and died when a building fell on him

(as some angst, before they managed to find his body, their was a worry the stress reactivated his quirk, and he had fallen without being able to stop)

As an extra death, Monoma. He pulled off a nice trick where he copied the AfO from AfO himself (again, see below). He then went on a quirk stealing rampage, rendering numerous villains quirkless, and going out in a blaze of glory (I have mixed feelings about Monoma, so I’ll be nice when I can)

Short timeline;

Attack on UA: in the second year of the war, while the Izuku is in his third year, Shigaraki pulls off a full out attack on UA (Basically it’s the Battle of Hogwarts). The attack is repulsed, and most of the school is saved, but Nedzu still decides to close the school for the foreseeable future

The Two Japans: The PLA takes control of half of Japan, ruling from Deika City. They managed this by killing most of the government. It ends during the Meta Coup 

Meta Coup: Elements of the old Meta Liberation Army, believing Shigaraki is not following the ideas of Destro, try to kill him. It goes badly, but does cause a distraction

HPSC Coup: happening around the same time, the Hero Public Safety Commission tries to take over, using a lot of heroes that are under their thumb. It goes... well? Afterwards the Hero Ranking system was ended

War for One: Another villain civil war, this time caused by All for One! Essentially he does not approve in the direction Shigaraki is taking things. The PLA losses Gigantomachia and the Nomu, and although Shigaraki manages to kill AfO, this is the beginning of the end

And now funny stuff;

After most of Japan’s government was killed, the HPSC tried to take power, but what politicians were left with support from Pro Heroes decided a more neutral party was needed. And Nedzu did currently have nothing much to do...

After the Meta Coup control over all of Japan was regained. For a while, Nedzu literally ruled the entire country. He spent most of the time laughing manically, and doing numerous reforms of practically the entire system. After the war ended, he stepped down for an elected government

Over the course of the war Izuku unlocked all the quirks withig One for All. Shiggy was very confused, and slightly worried each time a new one popped up.

Inko? Fine. Her and a bunch of hero families were secretly moved out of the country. After the war, Izuku went on holiday for a year, and the two traveled the world before returning to Japan

Eeer... yeah that’s it

[jadedbirch]

Apocalypse Forever

I haven’t been this relaxed in years.

Outside is the Plague, the End of Days, Apocalypse Nowish.  The panicked masses have cleared out the supermarkets, profiteers are complaining about sitting on more “product” than they can push, and the hospitals are erecting tented cities in anticipation of the inevitable influx of the ill.  Right now, more people are having anxiety than COVID-19 symptoms thought that might change soon. It took weeks longer than it probably should have for our leadership to strongly encourage us to work from home, but at long last they did.  Our leaders - the ones who, despite being the most vulnerable due to their advanced age, are also the most glib and happy to accuse you of being “too emotional” at the smallest provocation.

Outside is the Plague, but I am inside, safely cocooned in my introversion.  I’m not lonely, I don’t get lonely.  The loneliest I’ve ever felt was when surrounded by people trying to engage me in small talk.  But that’s not all I’m armored with.  I’m enveloped in an impenetrable shroud, and it’s giving me a surprising leg-up during these fraught times.  It is the chain mail of chronic illness, coupled with the sword and shield of depression.  I am Kirsten Dunst’s character in Melancholia, watching with settled relief as the titular planet approaches on its unchangeable course towards annihilation.  I too float on the river of my melancholy, bolstered by the waters of my own detachment.

Social distancing is something I’ve been practicing for my whole life. I go on Twitter and I see global panic.  I go on Facebook and I see a wall full of articles bestowing blame, sharing recommendations, lists upon lists of how to survive this contagion.  On my first Saturday after we got the reluctant permission to telecommute, I make a list.  I call it “Fun things to do while Plague.”  My list is simple.  It’s things that I do anyways, because I’m often house-bound.  Things I do because every day when I wake up, I’m not sure that my body is going to do as I ask.  How will my pain levels be?  Will I have to cancel my plans?  Will I be able to go to work?  

It’s a relief to have all my plans cancelled for me.  It’s an unburdening like no other to know I will not have to get dressed for work, will not have to sit in traffic, will not have to grit my teeth and smile through the pain when people ask me how my weekend was and how did I spend it.  To shed my human skin and revert back into the lizard bog witch shape that is my true form.

It’s a relief to know that I will be able to get more time with the bone stimulator I’ve been prescribed to treat the avascular necrosis which I developed in addition to my usual life-long friend, Ehlers Danlos. (“Exceedingly rare,” they say, even more so than my already rare genetic illness.) They tell me I can use it up to ten hours a day, but the most I’ve managed so far, even with working from home, has been eight and a half.  It’s a relief not to have to tell people every day, “Please slow down” or “I’m sorry, I can’t walk that far.”  It’s a relief not to have to see those “Take the stairs” signs plastered all over our office building, and not to have to wonder what people think of me - an ostensibly healthy looking person - when I press that button for the second floor in the elevator.  It’s all an incredible relief.

There are books on my shelves that I haven’t gotten around to reading because carrying a book with me has become just one more thing I can’t easily do.  Every ounce counts when your body can betray you with a sneeze.  My Kindle contains multitudes and weighs next to nothing.  Perhaps now that I am home and don’t have to carry the books further than my couch, perhaps now is the time I will read them.  They’ve been in quarantine too but now they can come out to play. My abandoned friends.

I try not to be too smug.  Sure, I already have enough toilet paper to last me for the next month, because I never know when my body will decide to rebel against me.  I already happened to have a box of disinfectant wipes because having defective collagen pretty much means I don’t have functional barriers against the outside world.  I go through my emergency preparedness kit that I put together years ago and I laugh at my past self.  These contacts are the wrong prescription, but even funnier - my eyes have joined the rest of my treasonous body parts rendering me no longer able to wear contacts.  But hey, at least the water purification tablets might still come in handy.

I reach out to my extravert friends and ask them, with sincerity they probably have a tough time detecting, “Are you alright?” We must look out for each other  in these tough times.  I send a message to my extravert fiancée.  “Hi I love you.  That’s all.”  I don’t want her to fly here from Canada and get sick just so we can see each other.  This, like the rest of our long-term long-distance relationship, is not something most people can understand.  I’d rather have her far away but alive and well, sending me photos of her cat whom we both call “Daughter” even though her real name is Jasmine.  I worry about her.  I worry about my extraverted and elderly parents, who do not accept our relationship, but who love me more than life itself, and don’t see those concepts as diametrically opposing.

I worry about my mother who also has Ehlers Danlos when she says to me, “I welcome it, let it come.”  I don’t know how to tell her that I understand exactly what she means without upsetting her.  That to me death too would be a great relief, just like this social distancing I am relishing so much.  The unburdening of my own body, of societal norms, of words and labels, of the weight of people’s thoughts and hopes and wishes.  I’ve been wanting to disappear for a very long time, and now I can. Nay, it isn’t being granted mere permission.  Now my disappearance can be touted as selfless, heroic, for the good of society.

I haven’t been able to write in a very long time, but I am writing today.  One of the things on my list is “Try writing again - it doesn’t have to be long.”  I am crying as I write this, and that too feels like an unburdening.  Like this is the culmination of some spell I have conjured, and it’s flowing out of me in words and tears. Pure magic.

I am not an idiot.  I know terrible, devastating things are happening out there.  I know it will get a lot worse before it gets better.  But I also look at my little list of “Fun things to do while Plague” and I hope that it doesn’t end any time soon because I really look forward to fulfilling it.

It is a great relief, when you’ve been waiting for so long for something terrible to happen, to know that it has arrived.  Perhaps this will make those of us who survive stronger, better people.  Perhaps Mother Nature knows better than we do.  Who am I to second guess Nature, even when she has always seemed to place so many obstacles in my way.  Who’s to say it wasn’t for a day like today, to give me a leg-up (even if a necrotic one) while the world crumbles.

[nitewrighter]

Of Blades and Broomsticks Pt. XV

I have no excuse. Have some Widowmaker in a Lestat cosplay.

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 11, 12, 13, 14

Read it on AO3 here.

----

“Seek me if you have the sight.”

“Meet me at the city gates if you’re in.”

“What’s out there?”

The inscription on the cell, the words of the self-proclaimed hunter, and Pharah’s own hunger for answers rang in her head all night, round and round, swapping off with each heartbeat in her ear. Thankfully the continuous exhaustion from trying to cobble Adlersbrunn together kept her from tossing and turning, but she remembered the witch hunter Gabriel in her dreams.

You wish to help me you will be walking a gray and dangerous path. Dogs guard flocks of sheep from wolves, but all dogs were wolves once.

If there is evil in our midst, to treat it with indifference is to enable its existence.

Pharah woke in the dark pre-dawn hours with a sour hunger in her bones. She looked around her bare room, then looked to her window. The moon was shining brightly that night, but the smoke staining the glass rendered it brownish yellow. Pharah wondered if the scent of smoke--not the smoke of a blacksmith forge, but the searing, sometimes sulfurous smoke of magic---would ever leave Adlersbrunn. 

Still so much work to do... It would be very easy, she thought, To let him leave. To keep working on rebuilding the town here. To hope vagabonds like him are enough to keep whatever’s lurking out in the shadows at bay.

She furrowed her brow and looked to the adder stone she kept on her bedside table. No. She wouldn’t leave it like this. And she certainly wasn’t going to leave this situation in the hands of an excommunicated rogue. She rose to her feet, cleaned herself in her washbasin, put on her cleanest, strongest armor, and scrawled out a missive for her fellow guards, establishing the new chain of command in her absence. She sealed the missive with wax and set it on her table in the chamber of the captain of the guards. She wrote another, shorter, more sentimental letter for Torbjörn as well, and left that one on the desk of the castle’s man-at-arms. She packed a few days of supplies for herself and her horse, then mounted a bay rouncey and rode for the city gates.

True to his word, Jehoshaphat Maccrea of Helsing was waiting by the city gates in the mists of the following dawn. She didn’t like the smirk he gave her.

“I like you,” he said as they rode out of Adlersbrunn, leaving the stone of the city walls behind them and heading out into the surrounding farmland.

“And how did you decide that?” said Pharah.

“I like to think everyone’s got that hunger, that curiosity--it’d be too easy to lie down and let death take you otherwise, but few really follow it through to the end,” said Jesse.

“Would you still like me if I had chosen to stay behind?”

“Well I’d respect you, gotta respect anyone who protects their own, but it wouldn’t really matter if I liked you, would it? I’d be long gone.”

Pharah frowned a little, “I suppose so,” she said, looking off.

“I think it makes things more pleasant to like one’s traveling companion, don’t you?”

“I don’t have to like you,” said Pharah.

“It’d make things nicer if you did,” said Jesse with an easy smile.

“I wouldn’t be riding with an excommunicated scoundrel unless it meant making sure what happened to my city never happens again,” said Pharah.

“Scoundrel?” Jesse repeated.

“Yes, scoundrel. It sort of comes with the whole ‘excommunicated’ thing,” said Pharah.

“That is exactly the kind of black and white thinking that’s gonna get you killed out there,” said Jesse.

“I thought you said you’d probably die if you didn’t have me backing you up?” said Pharah.

“I probably would,” Jesse conceded. 

“That’s morbid,” said Pharah as they rode past a pumpkin patch. She wondered if it was the one they found the blood in.

“Didn’t you say you wanted me to be as honest as I can with you?” said Jesse.

Pharah furrowed her brow and readjusted herself in her saddle.

“This is why I don’t have to like you,” said Pharah, looking straight forward as they rode.

“That’s why I like you,” said Jesse with a smirk. She didn’t like that smirk.

-----

Mercy woke the morning after the banquet in a haze of half-sleep. The moans coming from the courtyard of the monastery from the cultists’ revelries lasted into the gray light of dawn. She did her best to try and push what was going on to the back of her consciousness, to treat it like the night birds of the woods or the wind blowing through the trees, but she knew the forests of Adlersbrunn were far behind her now. 

She rose up to a seated position in bed and looked out her window. A part of her was regretting leaving such a remote sanctuary as this, especially with so much still to learn from its library, but at the same time, the previous night had confirmed her feelings that she didn’t really have a place here. The monastery had the feel of a swirling vortex, like the dark portals Zenyatta could summon--and the flame of creation within her thrashed against that void like a wild bird caged. She washed and dressed herself, then proceeded to the library of the monastery for one last look through for anything that might help her better understand the Flame of Creation--a long shot, in a temple to the void, but a shot worth making all the same.

Her perusing though the shelves of the library was half-distracted by her own plans for the journey. She knew she and Genji had agreed to go west, and the Monastery sat on some grim black sea cliffs that.. treacherous as they were, would at least provide a decent amount of visual reference of the area for them to make significant headway in their journey--easier than wandering through the woods, at least. She decided would swing by the refectory for some supplies for their journey when she next met up with Genji. She wondered if he would want human food of if he would prefer to take the form of a sparrowhawk and just swoop up whatever unfortunate creature he could for convenience’s sake. He was certainly strong enough to help carry some supplies--no, no, he was her protector, not her porter. She would carry her pack for herself.

 She was distractedly looking at the illustration in some text of what was supposedly erotic Enochian poetry but just looked like a mass of wings and eyes and circles when Junkenstein suddenly stumbled, swaying as he brought himself to his full height.

Oh that’s right, she thought, with a brief beat of ‘Oh gods, what’s going to happen,’ He was at the banquet too.

“Hoo!” Junkenstein stretched his arms above his head, “What a night!”

Mercy bit the inside of her lip and smiled a little as he walked over. A bit relieved that this was another instance in which she could trust Junkenstein to be Junkenstein.

“You enjoyed the banquet?” said Mercy, glancing up.

“Well that was... anthropologically fascinating. Not a religious man myself but... I understand the appeal.”

Mercy just grinned. “How did they take to your creation?” she asked, tilting her head.

“Oh they like him. I got so much data on his...” Junkenstein cleared his throat, “Social capabilities.”

“Really?” said Mercy.

“Well they aren’t picky about tentacles, so I imagine there’s not a whole lot they are picky about,” said Junkenstein, “And if he has the approval of old Squidface, they’re all over him.”

“Well that’s good,” said Mercy, “I do worry about him... I suppose I worry about all of us having a place in this world...”

“I had to shovel some of them off of him this morning,” said Junkenstein, “Tragically he rolled over on one but, y’know with all the stabbing they do, they don’t get all that upset about that sort of stuff.”

“You still want to leave with us?” said Mercy.

“I told you, you wouldn’t last a second without us,” said Junkenstein, smiling, “Just... don’t mind me if I’m walking funny for the next few days. Well.. funnier than usual.” Junkenstein paused, “You and the demon took off soon as the meal was over, didn’t you?” 

“Well after all the excitement back in Adlersbrunn, I didn’t really have the energy for all that revelry,” said Mercy.

“Right, and you certainly weren’t sneaking off for some moments of privacy with the demon you keep insisting to me that you can’t trust.” 

“He was just making sure I made it back safely to my chambers,” said Mercy, folding her arms.

“Suuuuuure,” said Junkenstein with a wink.

“He was!” said Mercy.

“Nothing happened, I mean--I was covering my face and he kissed my knuckles but that was it. We went to bed---or I went to bed and he... I don’t know. He just flies off at night sometimes. Maybe he turned into a wolf and ate some rabbits or something.”

“You’re joking,” said Junkenstein.

“Look, my cat broke a tea leaf pot, we worked out a deal, he held up his end of the deal, and I spat some blood into his mouth so he wouldn’t die, that doesn’t mean we’re soulmates--” 

“Conveniently leaving out the dramatic rescue (with help from yours truly, of course), riding him in dragon form out of the city---”

“Sprouting wings...” Mercy admitted.

“Sprouting wings!” Junkenstein pointed an accusing finger at her, “Not to mention all the dancing by the light of the cultist fires---”

“What is your point, Jamison?” 

“You’re in deep, Gramercy. I know you. You make a point of not getting in deep with anyone, and as your friend I think I have a responsibility to let you know when you are a lot more emotionally involved with someone than you’re telling yourself you are---especially when, as you said, we may have broken something, we may be kicking off something big that none of us has any control over. And I think we should all be on the same page if we’re going to be traveling together---”

He was cut off by the sound of the door opening, not with the usual grunting of whoever was pushing it open. Both Mercy and Junkenstein looked up to see Zenyatta at the doorway of the library. He hadn’t even pushed on the door, but it had opened for him. Perhaps the stone of this monastery obeyed him just as loyally as any of the cultists.

“Witch,” Zenyatta spoke to Mercy, the tentacles of his face slowly shifting with thought, “A word?”

Mercy looked at Junkenstein.

“Don’t let me hold you up,” said Junkenstein with a shrug, “I’ll keep making the preparations.”

Mercy nodded and walked out of the library.

-----

“So you and Genji are departing?” said Zenyatta as they walked on the cliffs outside the monastery, the white waves and green brackish water crashing on the black rocks below.

“With your permission, of course,” said Mercy, “Genji is my protector, but he was your student before that. I would hate to undermine that. And it is nice to have a place to stay where I’m not too worried of being burned at the stake. But seeing as I am not a cultist myself I don’t want to impose too much on your hospitality.”

“You have my permission--” said Zenyatta, “There are few places you or Genji could travel in this plane that I wouldn’t know where you were.”

 A long pause passed between them.

“Was there something in particular you wished to discuss?” asked Mercy.

“Earlier this morning I asked Genji a few questions about the nature of your relationship---what his plans for the future were. He stated that, as payment for his protection, you would give him your first-born.”

“...That was our deal, yes,” said Mercy, pausing to pick some samphire from a cleft in one of the black rocks.

“And are you aware that I have known the Goddess Satya for longer than mankind has walked the earth? And you can assume, thusly, that I was there when we both gathered our first worshippers?”

“I... I can assume that, yes,” said Mercy.

“And as such I am aware of both the abilities and the physical limitations of those who bear Satya’s flame of creation,” said Zenyatta. His voice deepened and suddenly seemed to surge around her like water , “No seed of man can flourish in a field of fire.”

Another long pause passed before Mercy drew herself to her full height.

“Have you told Genji?” she asked calmly.

“That you cannot give him a first-born? No. No, I haven’t,” said Zenyatta, looking out to the ocean, “I am his teacher, but I find some of the hardest lessons are the ones he must learn on his own. I suggest you break the news to him. Do it on your own terms while you still can.”

“I will,” said Mercy.

“Will you?” Zenyatta’s tentacles tensed.

“The only reason I lied in the first place was because--well, I suppose since he was a demon, I assumed he wouldn’t keep his word, so there was no more harm in me not keeping mine. But he saved my life, he protected me, true to his word. So I will tell him,” she bit the inside of her lip, “When the time’s right.”

“Do you fear his wrath?” said Zenyatta.

“I don’t know,” said Mercy, “He’s always going on about how dangerous he is, and his swift and mighty sword but...” Mercy huffed, “I think I fear hurting him, more--but---that’s silly, isn’t it? I mean, isn’t it more horrible of him to want a newborn baby? He’s probably going to--to-eat it or something, isn’t he?”

“He wouldn’t eat it,” said Zenyatta.

“You know why he wants one?” said Mercy.

“I do,” said Zenyatta.

 “You must tell me what for!” said Mercy.

“That is for him to tell you,” said Zenyatta, “Just as this is for you to tell him.”

“For an all-knowing god, that isn’t very helpful,” said Mercy, folding her arms.

“As is the case with most gods, ‘All-knowing’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘helpful,’” said Zenyatta.

Mercy heard a screech and turned her head to see a handsome silvery skua diving amongst the waves. It wheeled in the white foam, then seemed to catch sight of them and swoop toward them with a cry. The skua swept in overhead, turned in a somersault, and then shape-shifted into a scarred man in black and purple cultist robes, landing lightly on his feet.

“I was wondering where you two were!” said Genji, stretching his arms above his head. “I’ve missed the brisk sea air of your monastery, Master, it saddens me to leave it. But the world calls me--does it not call you, Witch?”

“There is a lot to learn out there,” said Mercy.

“If you have a journey, you have a journey,” said Zenyatta, putting a hand on his shoulder, “You will always have a place here.”

“Thank you, Master,” said Genji, before smiling and looking at Mercy, “And what of you, Witch? Are you ready to leave as well?”

Mercy tucked her hair back and found she was gripping the samphire she had plucked with white knuckles, “I--yes--yes I am,” she said, looking up at Genji.

----

“Remind me again, the point of this,” said Gabriel as he and Moira stood in an ornate septagonal chamber. The chamber had six mirrors, one on each wall, with the exception of the wall containing the door they had just walked through to enter.

“You now walk a line between two worlds, Gabriel,” said Moira, walking to the mirror closest to them, “If we are to free you from the witch’s magic, we will need the help of others who walk that same line.”

Gabriel would have frowned if his pumpkin head was capable of any other expression.

“We’re bringing more demons into this?” said Gabriel, “More damned?”

“If the flame of creation is ignited and spreading in the mortal world, then war is coming. A war between the seen and unseen. We will need allies,” said Moira.

“I was already fighting that war,” said Gabriel.

“You were a child digging a line in a sand to catch the waves washing in amongst his ankles. The tide is coming in now,” said Moira, putting a hand to the glass, “I doubt your god is on your side now, so you will have to make do with me.”

The glass seemed to shift and melt under her touch, their reflections dissolving into darkness and mist. Moira held out her other hand to him and he took it, and they both took a few brisk steps through. There was a sound like the last bits of water in a tub rushing down the drain, and then a brief dipping sensation, like reaching the bottom of the stairs, expecting floor, and finding there was another stair, and then they found themselves on a stone threshold in a high-ceilinged stone room. There was a guard slumped against the wall, dressed in a fine uniform of black velvet and partially leaning on his halberd like a drunkard on a lamppost. He shook himself up to attention as Gabriel’s boots thudded clumsily on the stone floor and he flinched hard at the sight of Moira.

“Oh merde--” he drew a horn from the interior of his cloak and blew it in a stumbling fanfare. Four other guards suddenly charged into the room, halberds at the ready and looked genuinely stunned at the appearance of Moira and Gabriel. He had a corpse-like scent hanging about him that Gabriel thought should bother him more than it did. He noticed his sense of smell was a lot stronger now than it had been when he was alive. He didn’t like it. He couldn’t shut out senses to sleep--he wasn’t even sure if he could sleep anymore.

“Announce my arrival to your comtesse and have her gather her court,” said Moira.

“Th-The comtesse is indisposed---” the guard stammered.

“Do you know why she had this mirror in her chateau?” said Moira, stepping forward.

“Y-yes, Madame, but--”

“But? But what?”

There was a brief tense silence in the room.

“But... the last time you were here was, according to the records, 114 years ago,” said another guard.

“And?” said Moira, “Was there an expiration date set on the terms of her recognition of my sovereignty?” 

“N-no, Madame--”

“Then have her gather her court,” said Moira.

“You heard our honored guest,” said another voice, smoky and smirking. There was a purple flash and guards parted to reveal a woman in an armored doublet and a black hood. She seemed to be fussing with the last buckles of her doublet, and a few stray strands of dark hair hung out from under her hood, as if she had just been roused from bed. Human. Gabriel could smell it on her, warm, and distinct from the rest of the guards. He could smell a faint stench of death on her too, but it clung to her skin like a lover. He could smell magic on her, too, but not like the Witch, more like the metallic smell that issued off of his own adder stone after he had it for years.

“Who are you?” said Moira.

“I serve the comtesse. Come with me,” said the woman, walking out of the room. Moira and Gabriel followed after, 

“You would think the comtesse would keep her estate in better condition,” murmured Moira, “Guards in disarray... food lying around...”

All of the guards escorting them toward the throne room suddenly stopped. The woman glanced over her shoulder at Moira and Gabriel.

“What?” said Moira.

One of the guards leaned close to the hooded woman, “What would you have us do, Spymaster?”

The spymaster shrugged, “She is visiting royalty. Let her have her words. They reflect more on her than on me. Just continue escorting our guests to the throne room.”

“Spymaster?” Moira repeated, incredulously, “Since when would the comtesse keep a human spymaster?!”

“We’re very progressive here,” said the spymaster, a smile in her voice.

There was a brief second where Moira’s eyes flashed yellow, cruel and dead like ghost lights, and a few white streaks suddenly threaded through her hair, but she seemed to regain her composure and her eyes and hair returned to normal.

“Hard to keep the glamour up when you’re mad, huh?” said the spymaster, as they continued down the halls. 

“I know saplings older than you, little insect,” Moira scowled.

“Invite them to court, then,” said the Spymaster, pushing open two massive doors into a throne room. 

The comtesse sat on a throne in the center of the room, a guard at either side of her. Her skin was deathly white, her lips were red and wet, her eyes were yellow as an owl’s, and her black hair was tied back in a loose and low ponytail in a red velvet ribbon. She wore a loose white shirt, the frilled collar of it plunging to her sternum, and high-waisted black trousers. She leaned her head against the knuckles of her hand, looking like all patience was already exhausted by the time court was called.

“Queen Máire. It has been some time,” said the comtesse, not making any movement to rise from her seat as the spymaster took her place at her side.

“Comtesse Amélie,” Moira bowed.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” asked Amélie.

“Would that I could have called in happier times, comtesse,” Moira started.

“Only had 114 years,” the spymaster whispered into the comtesse’s ear and the comtesse snickered.

Moira briefly bristled but continued, ignoring the slight. “I’m sure by now you have already heard of the events at Adlersbrunn,” she said. 

“Yes,” said the Comtesse, “My spymaster is very good at keeping me abreast of the news of the world.”

“Then you know that that news shall spread. It spreads faster in shadows but soon, more mortal ears will hear of it, and more weapons will be drawn against us,” Moira gestured at Gabriel, “I have with me the first casualty of the war to come--bound by magic in servitude to a human, denied the dignity of death.” 

“So the pumpkin’s not a fashion choice?” said the spymaster, leaning against the throne.

“This is a perversion of what magic is supposed to be!” said Moira, gesturing at Gabriel, “This is pain and suffering, wrought by human hands!”

Thanks, thought Gabriel, who would have rolled his eyes if his pumpkin head allowed it.

“And it was wrought by the flame of creation,” said Moira, “Something never meant for a human to wield!”

The comtesse sat up in her seat slightly, apparently more interested now. “The flame of creation hasn’t been snuffed out?”

“It nearly was, but apparently it has been passed down, from human witch to human witch,” said Moira, “I can see through the eyes of crow and hare and hound, but you, comtesse, have far more eyes on wings. If the flame of creation is spreading through the world, then that means this world will re-make itself. It means that war is coming. And I would ask for your allegiance in the war that is to come. Lend me your eyes. Join your strength with mine, and we may survive it.”

The comtesse kept a steady, yellow-eyed look at Moira and Gabriel, and then sat up in her seat slightly. She put a hand on the shoulder of her spymaster and they shared a few whispers. The spymaster shook her head and the comtesse seemed thoughtful for a few seconds, then whispered something more to the spymaster. The spymaster gave a shrugging concession and the comtesse seemed satisfied before turning her attention back to Moira and Gabriel.

“I do not deny that a war is coming, my Queen,” said the comtesse, sitting up in her seat in a bit more stately fashion, “However, my kind can endure through war, and it has endured by not drawing attention to itself. We will clean up the bodies, we will keep ourselves fed, perhaps even grow our ranks in the bloodshed that is to come, but only a few of my kind can even walk in daylight-and we have come to far more...” she glanced at her spymaster, “Symbiotic relations with the humans in our land rather than isolating ourselves. War may be coming, but I will not seek it. Not until it is fully necessary.”

“But our allegiance--” Moira started.

“Was one of non-aggression,” said the Comtesse, “I remember the terms well. But my duty is to my people, first and foremost. Surely your majesty understands that?”

“Of course,” said Moira through gritted teeth.

“Is there any other way I may be of service to you, your majesty?” asked the comtesse.

“No,” Moira’s voice was sharp and brittle.

“You are welcome to stay in the château for as long as--” 

“I have my own estate,” said Moira, drawing herself up to her full height, “I thank you for your time.”

“I understand. Guards, see to it that her majesty finds her way back to the mirrorgate,” said the comtesse, “It’s been an honor, Queen Máire.”

“Lady Amélie,” Moira said with a bow before turning on her heel and walking out with Gabriel and the guards.

Gabriel didn’t say anything as they were guided back to the room with the mirror in it. And he found it prudent not to mention the streaks of white that where threading through Moira’s hair with fury as they walked. They stepped back through the mirror with little ceremony and after another stomach-turning trip through darkness, found themselves back in the septagonal room of Moira’s own underground queendom.

“Well...” said Gabriel folding his arms, “That was a wash.”

“It wasn’t,” said Moira, looking back in the mirror and inhaling to bring her hair back to its previous red shade.

“Please tell me we aren’t going to try the other five mirrors,” said Gabriel.

“No, not yet. I believe it should be very easy to convince the Comtesse to see our view of things,” said the Moira.

“She sounded pretty sure of herself back there,” said Gabriel.

“There’s more than one way to make your point,” said Moira, alighting a violet sphere of black magic in one hand.

“I’m not going to like this, am I?” said Gabriel.

“I said I would help break the magic binding you, Gabriel,” said Moira, “I didn’t say you would like it.”

[chineselomo]

Turnip boy commits tax evasion plot

Turnip boy commits tax evasion plot full#

I can haz references?Ī cranberry who talks in UWU speak gives Turnip Boy this art of him as Turnip-Chan. And Turnip Boy will gleefully tear up not just his own tax documents, but literally any piece of paper that is handed to him. The other tenant expresses some dismay, until you hand the cash over. One of the first side quests you can encounter is to retrieve rent from a tenant, but the only action available at that point is to kill him. Early on, for example, a streamer blocks your path and demands a sub from you - so you have to go and buy a sandwich. I suspect this is a very specific brand of humour, but it was one that I really enjoyed. It's got an extremely online vibe, but with a sense of self-awareness. In the icebox of a haunted house, you find a gang of mafioso pickles in snazzy hats.īut the writing is obviously where its funny bones come to the fore. The first boss you fight is a giant pig king that explodes into bacon when you beat it. Turnip Boy has a bouncy little walk and his feet make suckery tappa tappa noises. The travelling biologist is an avocado, for example, with the green bit made to look like it's a backpack the seed is wearing. Every citizen is a fruit or vegetable, rendered in entertaining style. I can't remember finding a game this funny since Tales From The Borderlands, and I think Turnip Boy is actually much funnier. I mention this because Turnip Boy does not describe itself as a comedy game, and yet it is possibly the funniest game I have ever played. And I am instantly suspicious of anyone or anything that self-describes as funny, because it is usually a strong indicator I will find it the opposite. If anyone takes to the comments and mentions the name Bill Burr, I swear to God I will permanently ban you from this website. I find the difference between US stand-up and most other stand-up to be an unscalable wall. While I acknowledge that humour is subjective, I also have very strong opinions about it. The style and the content are pleasingly misaligned the sweet cartoon art and bright colours giggle and say "wholesome" but the tone of the missions and story scream, "I spend a lot of time online and I hate it". But the tax evasion is only the inciting incident that sets Turnip Boy on a surprising, engaging, and extremely funny journey.

A deep history of the world and how it became what it is.I know we're not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but also what else am I supposed to judge a book on when I'm standing in the shop deciding which one to buy? And if the cover says ' Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion' on it, obviously any sane person would be immediately drawn to it.

Collectable hats to deck out Turnip Boy in any way you choose!.

Multiple endings based on how effectively you commit tax evasion.

Tons of tax documents to rip up, allowing you to erase your paper trail and potentially destroy the government.

A large cast of quirky food-based characters, all with their own stories and problems.

Grow and harvest plants to aid in your journey.

Turnip boy commits tax evasion plot full#

Dungeons full of puzzles, enemies and rare treasures to pay back your debt.A thrilling, single-player adventure full of tax evasion, petty crimes and more.Along the journey uncover what’s spoiling this garden community and rise to tear down the corrupt vegetable government! Garden tools to solve plantastic puzzles, meet eccentric vegetables and fruits, and take on treacherous fights. After failing to pay taxes and getting evicted from his home, Turnip Boy must go on an epic quest to pay back his massive debt to Mayor Onion. In Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion, players take control of an adorable turnip who happens to be an absolute menace to society.

[sheikah]

7.01 Thoughts

Watching the premiere last night was so much fun, you guys! I loved it and don’t have any complaints to make. So far it seems like 1. the leaks are probably real and 2. they did not do the season justice. I think this is going to be an epic story, maybe our best season yet! I have a lot to say so I’m putting it under the cut.

So from the outset I absolutely loved the opener with Arya and the Freys. It was really clever how there were small hints of it really being Arya in his overall demeanor and the way David Bradley approached the scene. And the “proper wine for proper lords” line reminded me of when Arya insisted to Tywin Lannister that her parents taught her to “talk proper.” 

The big reveal and her declaration that “The North remembers, and Winter came for House Frey” gave me instant chills and I LOVED it. It does worry me a tiny bit though, if I’m honest. At Con of Thrones I sat on a panel about the women in Westeros and when one of the speakers asked the audience if Arya is “too far gone,” almost everyone raised their hand in agreement. I was LIVID and scandalized and couldn’t have disagreed more. But we are starting to see a more ruthless side to her. 

Don’t get me wrong--revenge narratives are my absolute favorite thing in the world and I was CHEERING when those Freys died. And from what Arya said to them, they all played an actual role in the RW and aren’t innocent. But at the same time, when she came upon those Lannister soldiers she was looking at their weapons and seemingly planning a way to kill them at first. And that makes me sad. I want her to be in a place where she can trust again. She deserves it, and seeing her laugh with them was one of my favorite moments in the episode. 

Speaking of those Lannister soldiers, what an unexpected treat! Starting with BotB last year, I really feel like the show is doing a better job of reflecting the harsh realities of war, and one of those realities is that not everyone on the opposing side is evil. War is full of all kinds of people and the way it destroys so many lives, even those of good people, is part of what makes it so awful. 

Sure, Ed Sheeran’s derpy face out of nowhere was funny for a second, but this scene was moving (at least to me) and clearly it moved Arya, too, who we can assume was finding common ground with these men, especially the one who mentioned love between a father and daughter. As sweet and wholesome (who would have thought I’d be using those adjectives in a GoT recap?!) as this scene was, I do think it hints at a darker future for these men. We might see them dead on the battlefield against Dany’s army in the very near future, and I dread that.

We didn’t get much from Bran and Meera but I was glad to at least see them. I got a chuckle out of Edd asking for proof that Bran is truly a Stark, and instead of providing real proof he just says some cryptic and broody stuff about Winter and Edd is like, “Yep. Kin of Jon Snow for sure.”

Speaking of Jon, I loved the scenes in Winterfell. They were surprisingly tense but also offered moments of humor and warmth. The Jon and Sansa face-off was interesting because I can see both sides of the argument. 

But I found it odd that she brought up Robb, who took the opposite approach to Jon’s when it comes to handling Karstark treachery by beheading their lord. So by contrast I think Jon’s level-headedness is smart and fitting in this scenario. 

If there weren’t ice zombies marching South then perhaps the Starks could afford to hold their allies at arm’s length or hurt some feelings by punishing the Karstarks and Umbers. But as things stand they need a united North to face the WW and Jon made the right call. I feel like this was confirmed when Ned Umber was revealed to be a small child younger than Rickon. Rendering him homeless in the middle of Winter isn’t justice. 

I also really like that Jon is making it a point to have the women train for the war as well. Women need to be able to defend themselves just as much as men, and of course I loved how this moment gave Lyanna a chance to shine. It was my understanding that Mormont women already trained in fighting to some extent but I’m excited to see what Jon’s new policies mean for the future. And when Lyanna was setting Lord Glover straight, Brienne looked SO PROUD of that fiery little future warrior woman and I was LIVING. 

Anyway, overall I enjoyed getting a glimpse of Jon’s ruling strategy which so far seems really solid. And KING Jon is the sexiest thing that I have ever seen in my life. The maester calling Jon “Your Grace” almost killed me. Things are only going to get better from here :)

Also in Winterfell I loved seeing Sansa sass Littlefinger into silence, which I didn’t even know was possible. It was hilarious and savage and I love her spirit and snark so much. It’s good to see that even though D&D are trying to trick us into thinking that dark!Sansa or Stark Bowl is happening, the reality is that Sansa is not even remotely fooled by LF and is only arguing with Jon to voice her opinion--as she should. 

The Brienne and Tormund shippy moment was hilarious and a good way to break the tension of the previous scene. It was cute how Brienne was just training with Pod calmly and normally until Tormund arrived and then since she can’t handle feelings she just turned it up to eleven and basically beat the hell out of poor Pod hahaha. It seems some scenes with them were cut but I am excited to see where it goes from here, even though in my heart I ship Jaime x Brienne.

Speaking of Jaime his conversation with Cersei was deliciously awkward. I loved when she asked him if he was afraid of her and he responded, “Should I be?” That’s the question on all our minds, Jaime. Well actually I want to know if SHE should be afraid of YOU, Mr. Valonqar ;) 

This scene was very interesting to me as someone who is looking forward to the Jon/Dany pairing because Cersei emphasizing that she and Jaime are the last Lannisters who are poised to start a dynasty parallels how Jon and Dany, the last Targaryens, will soon be in a similar position. But while one pairing represents fear and oppression the other represents hope for a better and more progressive future for the realm. 

I also think that that conversation revealed how far Cersei has slipped in terms of her sanity. She called her son a traitor for killing himself. Not good. Not good at all. But at the same time this conversation also foreshadows Cersei’s potential pregnancy with another heir. If that plays out, it will be interesting to see how it effects her schemes and Jaime’s perception of her. 

Their meeting with Euron was much funnier and more interesting than I expected. First and foremost I just want to establish that I really enjoyed Euron’s sexy trash pirate outfit haha. He looked great. And the humor he brought to his villainy was reminiscent of Ramsay, who I will honestly miss on the show. So I’m glad to see that he will be as scene-stealing and maniacal as I’d hoped. Also, “two good hands” is the new pickup line for the ages lol. 

The scenes of the Brotherhood were surprisingly emotional and it absolutely wrecked me to see Sandor so visibly affected by the deaths of that farmer and his daughter. I also pitied him a lot when he was looking into the fire and seemed absolutely SHOOK at what he saw there. I think of The Hound as a simple man who DID NOT sign up for a zombie war. 

While there was a lot of humor in his relentless roasting of Thoros (lmao @ the “top knot” comment) the grave-digging scene showed us Sandor’s depth and continued redemption, and also hinted at a possible friendship between him and Thoros later on :)

Sam’s plot was the least interesting to me but I understand that we need to establish what his life is like at the Citadel and get some more low key scenes of him and Gilly researching to set up the big! reveals! they will give us later in the season. 

The poop montage was absolutely revolting but really well done and I liked how they contrasted the shit with the soup and showed how they sort of became one and the same to poor Sam. But as gross as that was, the most disturbing part for me was Jorah reaching through the bars. For them to only show his arm, he must be looking very bad right now so I hope they hurry up and show his cure soon. The fact that even in his current plight, he is still eager for news of Dany is honestly really touching as much as I don’t ship Jorah and Dany. 

Oh! and Jim Broadbent was perfect as the arch maester! I love him so much and got lots of Harry Potter feels from his voice + Sam sneaking into the restricted section of the library haha.

And of course, the last and most important plot line from this episode--Dany! I love her so very much and have waited so many years for Dany to be in Westeros. I had company over to watch the episode but still couldn’t hold back the tears when she arrived. Emilia’s face in this scene was just so intense and filled with longing and relief. I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS OH MY GOOOODDD. 

Dany in Westeros really is a game-changing event and I can’t believe we’re this blessed. 

So Dragonstone itself looks beautiful and I’m glad we’re getting to see more of it than we did with Stannis. I also enjoyed the way they decided to play this scene with no dialogue. No witty quips from Tyrion or surly observations from Grey Worm, just letting the scenery and the actors’ body language carry the weight. 

My favorite moment was Dany walking up to the throne, the throne of Aegon I himself, something she’s been dreaming about for years, and WALKING RIGHT BY IT, instead focusing her attention on the sort of council chamber where she and her companions will work together as a TEAM. Because as much as people try to tear her down, at heart Dany is a team player who is growing and changing and I am so excited to see where her story goes from here. 

Lastly, as a Jonerys shipper, I think this bolder, more assertive Jon is someone who Dany will be instantly intrigued by. I also think that the peek at the next episode and the line delivered to Jon about not trusting Targaryens is going to set up an interesting dynamic for their relationship. Because Jon isn’t going to listen to that person and automatically distrust Dany based on her Targaryen heritage. His actions this episode should be final proof that he isn’t going to judge someone for the sins of their father. 

But I do think that both of them having such strong ideals and ideas of how to approach repairing the realm at this moment in the narrative, when Dany probably hasn’t even heard of WW, is going to cause some friction. They will challenge one another at first. But as the season progresses I think they’re going to find like-minded allies in each other and it’s going to be a beautiful partnership to watch :’) Overall I loved this episode so, so much and can’t wait for next week, and of course episode three. A Jonerys meeting!

If you’ve read this far, thanks for caring about my thoughts haha. What did you think about this episode and what do you hope to see moving forward?