#(I AM SO SORRY IF I MISPRONOUNCE ANY NAMES.)

[beansricejc]

THE CLIENT - John Wick x F!Reader

my masterlist.

synopsis: you go to some extreme measures to make sure you get your rent paid on time.

⚠️ warnings ⚠️: DUB/NON con, s3x work, cursing, sugar daddycore, implied violence, brief descriptions of violence, misleading job descriptions, good & bad name calling, chasing, financial / emotional manipulation, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT! MINORS DNI! 4379 words.

author’s note: I am so sorry about not being active, I’ve been meaning to take this off of the back burner for some time now. If you follow me you probably have noticed that this is based off of a short blurb I uploaded a few months ago. I’ve been avoiding writing because of several anon hate messages I’ve gotten about Fake It, and it put a huge damper on my writing process. but I’m back and I hope you all enjoy!

This economy is shit.

That's the sentence you continue to repeat in your brain. Should you have to work more than your full time accounting job at that stupidly high skyscraper downtown? Absolutely not, but your rent was bumped up by 15%, and a mere 40 hour work week won’t cut it anymore.

“Can you work nights?” The temp agent asks from across his desk. The florescent lights of his office (that is desperately in need of an update) are giving you a headache. The pot of coffee on the table in the corner is starting to burn.

“Yeah. Anytime after 6.” You quickly answer, your leg that’s crossed on top of the other is bouncing. The worker nods his head and clacks his vintage looking keyboard in front of his computer monitor.

The thick silence in this small space might kill you.

The worker’s eyes squint at his screen, before they trail back to you, seeming to give your face and your body a look over.

“Do you have any experience with housekeeping?” The worker asks, which makes your head tilt. Your printed and slightly crumpled resume is right there in front of him. Idiot.

“I mean, not houses, but when I worked retail I would have to clean the store from time to time.” You tell him and raise your eyebrows.

He nods and continues to stare at you. Creep.

“There’s an opening for a private housekeeper gig a bit north. You wouldn’t be tied to an agency, the client would pay you directly.” The man informs you. “Can, can I just do one thing first? Usually our employers, uh, they typically request pictures of their applicants.” The temp agent stammers and grabs his smartphone from his desk drawer. “Let me just…”

You don’t have any time to decline, since the flash is already going off in your direction.

“Uh- I’ve never heard of anything like that.” you question while the man types on his phone.

“Have you been employed through a temp agency before?”

“Well, not exact-“

“Then clearly you’re unfamiliar with how this works.” He interjects before setting the device down. “The pay is very good, although the employer hasn’t told me specifics. 3 nights a week after 6:30. 3 to 4 hour shifts. Does that work?” the worker asks and pushes up his glasses.

You feel a bit dumbfounded, and you have a strange suspicion that this man is gaslighting the hell out of you. But what can you do? You’re about to be 3 weeks late on rent.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” You mumble out.

It wasn’t fine. You hate the fact that instead of being able to snuggle up with your dog and watch reruns of New Girl, you have to pick up a second job.

“Great. I’ll have him give you a call.” was the last thing the man told you before you left the building. Secretly, you hope whoever this ‘employer’ is, they just forget about contacting you.

Hours later, you’re putting groceries into your fridge when your phone starts to vibrate in your pocket. You answer of course.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this, uh…” a deep male voice on the other line asks, accidentally mispronouncing your first name. Chuckling, you quickly correct him. “My mistake, forgive me. Ah, I heard you’re looking for a job?”

Your eyes bulge and you suddenly straighten up as if the man is having a face to face conversation with you. There was no way he was already calling you! Totally unprepared, you cleared your dry throat.

“Yeah, yep, that’s me.” you answer his question. His voice is so sultry. The man is clearly older than you, and it’s clear that he thinks before he speaks.

“Perfect. Pay is 1200 an hour, and if you swing by around 6:45 tomorrow that would be great. Can I email you my address?” The man offers online. You frown and choke on the water you were sipping.

“Woah, woah, excuse me. You said… 1200 an hour?” You repeat his payment offer.

“Yeah, is that a problem? All in cash.”

You almost have a heart attack.

“Nope, nope no problem at all.”

“Excellent. And, by the way, wear something, comfortable.” He says over the phone. You frown.

“Comfortable?” You question.

“Yeah. Comfortable.” He replies.

In hindsight you should have thought this through. You should have seen this coming, since men are disappointing and so vile. And you even know that you’re an idiot for agreeing.

So you do, and end the call.

6:45 comes faster than you thought it would. Your finger presses the door bell, and as you look around the neighborhood he’s in, the only thing you can think of? This dude is in a completely different tax bracket than you.

As for the comfortable clothing, you opted for some leggings and a long sleeve tee shirt that accidentally accentuates your waist and chest. You didn’t think anything of it. Did you think $1200 an hour was a bit off? Totally. But the guy was probably desperate for someone to clean this enormous house up.

You’re completely wrong.

The large door creaks open, and you come to face a man, middle aged, with long dark hair that seems to be tied in the back. A man bun? Really. You don’t say anything about it. Instead you smile and give the classic:

“Hi! You had a cleaning scheduled for 6:45?”

The words are bubbly and of course higher pitched. Like any customer service job, you’ve trained yourself to fake a smile and a friendly voice.

His rugged features surprise you. The way his jaw clenched and unclenched, his dark beard that grows on his face. The way his thin brown eyes trace over your body as he pressed his lips together. As if you were on display, only for him.

You couldn’t deny that he was handsome. But you’re not here for that. You’re here to work.

Are you?

“Yeah, you’ll do.” The man nods and allows you to enter his domain.

What the fuck did that mean? You don’t allow him to see the way your eyebrows scrunch up at his remark.

His house that reeks of modern contemporary architecture, the bachelor pad vibes were insane in this place. Regardless, the home seemed almost empty, even though it wasn’t. The vast size of it makes it so every little noise is able to bounce off the walls.

“Do you want something to drink?” Your new boss asks. He looks down at you with little to no expression on his handsome features. Despite the lack of emotion, a tinge of determination lingers in his narrowed brown eyes. “Call me John, by the way. Mister Wick will make me feel like a senior citizen.”

You just laugh. He already knows your name. Of course he does, why didn’t you expect otherwise? That temp agency definitely gave it to him.

“John it is.” You test out the name on your tongue; the simplicity of it is so right for him.

But something doesn’t sit right with you. It’s as if your body is subconsciously ringing all of the woman alarms that you should listen to.

Oh but you could use the cash! It’s the uneasy pit in your gut that churns and twists, attempting to pry yourself out of the situation.

Of course you ignore it.

“Right. So. There’s this particular spot I need help cleaning.” John’s hand guided you by the small of your back, you didn’t even notice how close he was standing to you. As if John were nothing but a ghost in the wind.

He leads you right in the living room, where a large crimson stain has set itself into the oak flooring. Your eyes widen, instinctively backing away, forgetting that John was directly behind you. Your shorter body runs into his, and he sets his strong hands on your shoulders.

Oh my god. A serial killer hired you. Or at least a murderer. The sheer size of the blood stain definitely was a fatal amount to lose. It’s as if someone had taken a liter of blood and dumped it onto his expensive flooring.

“I’m sure you can understand why this is such a lucrative deal, right?” John’s voice rumbled into your right ear. Chills trickle down your spine, caused simply from his touch and his murmur. But this is bad. You need to leave. You can’t just clean up murder messes for a living!

“I, I don’t know if I can-“

“Oh I know you can. Say, are you a good multi-tasker?” John asked, his grip on your shoulders becoming a bit tighter. It feels possessive almost. You should have listened to your woman warnings your body gave you.

Your canine teeth dig into your soft tongue.

“I mean, yeah.” You squeak out to answer the man who’s paying you. A throaty laugh leaves his mouth.

“Oh, good to hear.”

The scent of his cologne enters your nose. Tobacco, ginger, cocoa even. It’s intoxicating, the way his smell lingers in the air; and how it’ll imprint itself onto your own clothes and skin. You can’t let this man’s Dior Sauvage distract you from getting the fuck out of this house.

“Listen, I don’t-“

“2156, 45rd Avenue. Apartment 5. Right?” John suddenly asks. Those chills that ran down your spine seem to be more sinister than you initially realized. You turn around and glare up at him.

“How do you know that?” You immediately question him with a brash voice.

John lets out a deep chuckle, his handsome smile is so stupid. You don’t want to be attracted to him.

“You should take the job. I could buy your building, your rent could go down significantly.” John smirked down at your trembling form. “But, I’ll need you to be good at more than just cleaning.” His voice grumbles into your ear. His hot breath sticks to your neck. His voice is deep and almost off putting, in a good way. God the way he speaks. The way he looks you over with those pretty brown eyes.

Your mouth lets out a gasp as you suddenly feel his large hand reach around and grab one of your breasts. His unwanted touch feels like fire against your clothing. Your body tries to squirm.

“Shh, dear, let me touch you. I like it more if there’s less of a reaction.” John whispered, you feel his erection grow as he presses his groin into your ass.

“Woah, WOAH!” You yell, shoving him away. Surprisingly he backs away, with his hands in the air. There’s a smirk that plays on his rugged face, as he bites his tongue and lets his eyes devour your body.

“Really? You want to refuse me? Do you know who I am, little girl?” John chuckled, taking a few steps forward.

“You know what? I think I’m good on the job, you’re a fucking weirdo.” Is all you have to say to that. His rugged face has the meanest scowl you have ever seen in your life.

The tension in the air is so uncomfortable, and you want to punch yourself for not listening to your gut. The churning. The accelerated heart rate.

This was all wrong, that creepy temp agent had set you up with some gig that was clearly not legitimate in the slightest, of course it was too good to be true. Men only want one thing, and you don’t know how you didn’t manage to connect the dots.

You grimace at the thought of what he just did to you as your legs sprint towards the door.

“Not so fast, little one.” John growls, it seems he’s got you pinned against his entryway door. Your face is pressed against the wood, and you cry out in pain from the abrupt slam of your body.

“What if I bought your apartment building, and raised your rent? That’s why you have this job, right? That’s why a pretty thing like you waltzed into that temp agency and expected some help. God, I’m glad that agent sent me a picture. Do you know how much I came looking at your confused face?” John huffs out, biting his lip and moaning at the thought. His brown eyes roll to the back of his head for a split second as he recalls the orgasm he had, just thinking about you.

When he was hunched over in his shower, canines digging cuts into his bottom lip and drawing blood as John fucked into his balled up fist. When he whimpered your name like a pathetic needy bitch, the noise bouncing off of the bathroom walls to remind him of what a sick piece of shit he is. The mere idea of him taking advantage of a woman in a predicament like this made his balls ache in excitement. His toes would curl on the wet bathtub floor just imagining you being his good little fuck toy.

The ragged tone in his breath and voice make John sound desperate, deprived even.

“God I want you to swallow my cum so bad, I bet you’d look like a good girl, taking me in your mouth, huh? You wanna swallow daddy’s load?”

You elbow him right in the chest, but fall to the wooden floor while you do so. Too bad you’ve always been a clumsy bitch.

You groan as the pain shoots up your spine. And you panic. This absolute dilf of a man was a freak! And by the looks of all of that blood on his floor, a monster. A serial killer maybe! What the fuck was the point of listening to all of those podcasts if you didn’t take the god damn hints John had shown several times?!

John doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist, lifting you up as you kick, scream, struggle, he even gives your left asscheek a swift smack just for fun. You let out a yelp.

“Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go into the other room, and I’m going to buy your building. All I have to do is make a call. And you, cutie, get to make a decision.” John chuckled. “You leave, and I’ll have a group of men take out all of your shit from your place; and replace your doorknobs. Or,” John grabs your waist, your hand swats him away as you give him a glare. John sighs and gives you a smile, ruffling your hair with his large hand. “Or you let me have my way with you; while you clean up my little mess. And you won’t have to worry about paying a thing ever again.” John whispers. The man takes a step back, biting his lip at the sight of you being scared of him, before leaving and going into the other room.

You groan, tears brim your eyes as you contemplate your choices. Seeing the vast wealth displayed by just his household furnishings, you figured he wasn’t bluffing. The sting from holding back the cry hurts like a bitch, realizing you have no choice in the matter.

“God dammit.” You mumble, grabbing the cleaning supplies. You can’t help but wonder how the hell this much blood got on this asshole’s floor anyhow. Maybe you didn’t want to know. Either way, baking soda would do the trick here; with some water and dishwasher fluid.

So you get to work, scrubbing and finishing away the blood stain from the wooden floor. It wasn’t nearly as easy as it sounded.

Your stomach churned as you hear him approaching, his Oxford shoes clicking on the ground.

“Oh, good girl.” John snickered from above, you looked up at him with an icy stare, only to see something you certainly didn’t expect.

John and his hand, expertly stroking his hard cock to the sight of you cleaning.

John’s a good size. Bigger than average. Not something straight out of some unrealistic porn video online. The 7 inch long and slightly girthy dick in his grasp twitched, while it dripped precum from the pink shaded tip.

You start to feel something stir in you. This is wrong. You know it’s wrong. But fuck. His lip bite, the way he stroked himself to the sight of you, it’s not like he was ugly or anything. Quite the opposite.

He’s everything every woman dreams about in a man. Dark, brooding, with chiselled features and a symmetrical face. His olive skinned forehead is slick with sweat, definitely from being all hot and bothered at the sight of lil’ ol’ you.

Realistically, there could be worse out there to have fuck you.

“No no, little one. Keep cleaning,” John takes in a sharp breath. “Don’t mind me. Just pretend that this is normal, don’t be distracted. This will be your new normal. You’ll do various tasks around my house, and you let me touch you however I want.”

Now despite what your brain is telling you, the churning in your stomach drifts into butterflies. This isn’t right. In fact, it’s fucking vile. But why is your breath caught in your throat? Why does your head feel like it’s spinning?

You’re too much in your head at the moment, and you don’t notice the sound of a switchblade opening. With one quick motion, you can feel your leggings slice open. Before you have time to gasp, next comes your thong, he’s cutting the fabric and peeling it from your body.

John pressed the soaked cloth to his large nose, taking in a deep breath to get a whiff of your essence. Chills run down his spine as he grows even harder, your pure femininity smells absolutely divine to him.

“Oh you’re so wet for me, you like this, don’t you? You bad fucking girl,” he laughs. Your yelp escaped your dry lips as one of his long fingers swiped your moist entrance, pushing one in to test the waters. Your soft grunt of surprise and disdain covers your pleasure as you continue to try to clean up this stupid blood stain on the wooden floor.

You have to wonder, what the fuck happened here? Your mind goes haywire, imagining the man behind you potentially taking a life in the very spot that you’re in. How did he do it? A gunshot wound? Cutting someone’s throat? Torture? Tying them up by their feet to hang upside down, only to stab their jugular and letting gravity do its job? And why exactly are you thinking of it while John adds another finger, pumping the long calloused digits into your soaking cunt.

You catch yourself backing up against him, moaning a bit as you bite your lip to punish yourself for it. You’re not supposed to like this! What the fuck are you doing?

A suit jacket is tossed aside out of the corner of your eye, as a deep throaty chuckle echoes from the walls of his large house.

“Oh? So I’m right. You do like it.” John chuckles, pulling his fingers out. You let out a whine, almost angry that he would stop fingering you all of a sudden. John slaps your folds with the tip of his cock just for fun.

Your whine is replaced with a sharp squeal, his large hands grip the roots of your messy hair, pulling your head back as his fat tip eases into your pussy. The burn of your head and the burn of his dick throws you in a loop, especially at the sight of John.

John. This perverted, sick and despicable example of a human being, who’s eyes look so soft as he inches in and out of you. There’s a wicked smirk on his face when your eyes shoot to his lips, nothing that the cut up remains of your thong are in his mouth.

And you’re not sure if it’s hot or nasty. The obscene view of him damn near chewing on your underwear has you… well, fucked up. But it’s the way he begins to snap his hips against your ass that makes you forget about it. The other hand whacks your right asscheek, earning another yelp from you.

“You’re a fucking pig!” you sputter out, trying your best to show absolutely revulsion to the way he’s fucking you.

John can see through you like a piece of cling wrap.

You’re not making any progress in cleaning the blood stain, as he thrusts harder into you. You mew loudly while he takes his hand in your hair and instead presses your pretty little face into the floor. Your cheeks and nose throb as scratches embed themselves into your skin, as if you hardly notice. The way John’s cock feels as he has his way with your fluttering cunt is too good to even put into words. You have to remind yourself to breathe while he speaks to you.

“Fuck, you take me so well, princess. I didn’t take you for a good little slut, who’s my slut?”

Gritting your teeth, his tip brushed your cervix, and that will certainly give you an aching feeling tomorrow. You don’t want to admit anything to this monster. But his fist tightens at the roots of your hair, sending pain down your scalp right as his other hand reaches your clit and draws quick circles on it.

“I asked you something, sweetheart. Now fucking answer me.”

“I’m your slut! I’m your slut!” You repeat out, shame fills your belly as you give in to John’s desires, and he giggles in return.

“What an obedient girl you are.” John praises, his thrusts become slower, more passionate even, as if he’s rewarding you for answering him. Somehow, the slower and more sensual movement of his dick feels even better, especially with John incorporating those finger movements on your clit.

“Stop fuckin’ cleanin’, you’re doing a shit job anyway.” John grunts, swatting the brush out of your tiny hands and flipping your body over like a ragdoll. I mean, he’s not wrong, he just doesn’t have to be a dick about it.

“You think you can take me? You’ve been doin’ a good job so far. Better than cleaning, you got a talent for letting me fuck you like this.” John’s words are almost garbled and incoherent but you’re too afraid to shake your head. Before you can even respond, he shoves your cut up panties into your mouth, covering your lips with those calloused large hands, much to your dismay.

You muffle loudly, an attempted “What the fuck?!”, but he only snickered before pumping his cock back into your cunt, lifting your legs so your ankles could have resembled earmuffs on him. Your eyes roll back. He’s so fucking deep, John’s hand moved from your mouth to your throat, restricting your oxygen intake by squeezing as he fucks into you. Using you as his little play thing. Your sticky sweat coated flesh smacks against another, sending the sound throughout the house, along with your softened moans and whimpers.

“Your cunt belongs to me. Got it, bitch?” John asks, these things he is saying to you are fucking terrible, but you can’t help but be excited when they come out. You nod and bite down on what used to be your thong as he continued to rub your wet nub and fuck you hard. Your sharp fingernails dub themselves into his bare thighs, which will definitely leave marks later.

John hisses, but continues plowing into you nonetheless.

“Cum for me. Do it before I change my mind.” John ordered. Say less.

He didn’t have to ask you twice. While your eyes cross, your pussy pulses around his dick, as you become undone under him. Your walls flutter and you whimper loudly, your climax unraveling and finally giving you that oh so satisfying release. John grunts over you.

“That’s it, cum for me, who’s making you cum?” He asks.

“You are! Shit- you are, John,” you mumble into your underwear as your cock drunk state leaves you unable to adjust your body.

John laughs at your undoing, pulling your thong out of your teeth and slipping out of your cunt. It doesn’t take long for him to use his immense strength to lift you up onto your knees, as he gives his slick cock a few jerks with his hand.

“Open.”

In a state of euphoria, you don’t question the man who just gave you a mind blowing orgasm. Your lips part, and he bites his lip as the tip of his dick reached the back of your throat. Your eyes widen as he moans, fingers gripping into your hair once more as he fucks into your mouth a bit more. It doesn’t take long before he climaxed, spurts of cum that you’re forced to take and swallow, like the naive little thing you are.

The things a girl will do to make sure rent is paid in full.

The next few days are certainly something. There are scratches on your face and some light bruising here and there on your body from your, ahem, shift, with John the other night. A male coworker even asked if you had a sprained ankle or something from the way you were walking into the office the next morning.

How embarrassing.

And now you find yourself, checking your mail and getting your rent bill in for the upcoming month. You roll your eyes, tearing the envelope open as your little dog jumps up on your leg, excited that you have arrived home. You aimlessly scratch his head, setting the invoice on your kitchen counter before feeding your pet a scoop of food, and grabbing the checkbook.

It’s almost like it slipped your mind that John had actually acquired your apartment building.

John does many things, but he doesn’t bluff.

Your eyes scan the piece of paper as it hits you like a brick.

Thank you for your business. Please send your payment of: $0.00 by March 1st, 2024.

What the fuck?

The stack of a few thousand dollars stares at you from your desk, and you swallow the lump in your throat. Your mouth dries up when the words in scribbled writing at the bottom read:

See you next week, pretty girl.

xoxo, J.

[knichii]

OK. does anyone else feel irritated that eng dub seems to be favoured in mha? in edits, in fics, it's clear most people watched dub and idk it's been rlly grinding my gears.

okay, to get this out the way, I don't like mha's eng dub. I don't like any of them. half don't fit their characters, 75% of the time the tone lands forced and awkward, and its literally just unbearable for me to watch I'm sorry. I have this issue with a lot of anime and cartoons so this isn't solely a my hero problem, but this is definitely the most severely I've disliked a dub. and yet I cannot escape it.

one of my biggest issues is the nuance that's lost in translation. anyone with any familiarity with the Japanese language will know what I mean. list of examples:

HONORIFICS

1. iida refers to class 1-A with '-kun'

2. yaoyorozu refers to class 1-A with '-san'

3. asui refers to class 1-A with '-chan'

3. deku with '-kun' (m) & '-san' (f)

that says SO MUCH about their characters, how they view their relationships, how they view themselves,, but in dub?? all of that's lost. ESP the significance of deku still calling bkg 'kacchan'. [simplified, '-chan' is used for cute/endearing things. it stemmed from children mispronouncing '-san', and became a childish, cutesy way of calling someone, usually someone you're VERY familiar with. it implies a shocking ammount of intimacy] thru years of bullying, all the rocks and straight up non existent road of their relationship, deku STILL calls him 'kacchan', the ONLY one allowed to do so ("but kaminari--" NEENAWNEENAWNEENAW).

in eng dub it gets reduced to a mere nickname, lacking all of its weight.

another thing is bakugou sub vs dub (...)

URGGGGGGHHHH

the most recent example is when bkg says "of course you pulled it off, Icyhot." (I forgot the context tho) in sub, he says "of course you pulled it off, TODOROKI".

THATS SUCH A NICHE, SUBTLE WAY OF SHOWING HIS DEVELOPMENT THATS TOSSED STRAIGHT OUT THE WINDOW. translation (manga) also has him calling his seniors 'senpai' which is... not what he says in sub????? 'senpai' indicates respect for someone your senior,,,, which. bkg would never show. (or only in EXTREMELY rare cases, MAYBE)

there's also my peeve abt names. this may be an only me issue, but I don't like it when japanese names are written in western format (e.g Izuku Midoriya)... ("this guy cannot be fr rn" unfortunately yes I am). I don't have a reason for this, and I'm aware it's niche and irrational, but I always cringe a little when I'm reading a fic, that's SET IN JAPAN, and their names are written Given Name, Family Name. emphasis on SET IN JAPAN. THEY ARE JAPANESE. THEY ARE NOT AMERICAN.

bkg's hero name. his og one which was translated to King Explosion Murder, losing all of the wit and cleverness in the jp original. this post goes into more detail and is very cool check it out

slightly irrelevant but bkg's jp va, Okamoto Nobuhiko, like. wow. the bkdk fight? the voice cracks? the ANGUISH?? the softness in his voice when bkg was abt to die (the hallucination w all might) ??? like,, wow. the emotion is so much more raw than it's conveyed in eng

I've gotten off point. point is I WISH MORE PEOPLE APPRECIATED AND WATCHED IN JP SUB. IM SCREAMING INTO THE VOID AND MY OWN VOICE IS ECHOING BACK I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE.

(note: jjk was my first anime fandom so I'm probably spoiled. over there, sub seems to be favoured, barring a few iconic lines [ray chase lwk served as sukuna in the shibuya arc] and the fics, like 70% of the ones I read, used japanese honorifics and culture. in comparison, mha was a bit of a shock. the side of the fandom I washed up on is so... American??? maybe I'm in the wrong place idk. everything's just extremely white and slightly uncomfortable.)

this was a bit of a vent post,, obviously ik people are entitled to opinions (even if they're wrong), I js wanted tk if anyone else felt the same way

reading this back, I'm aware of how chronically online I am. yeah. still tho

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for calling my mom by her old name because she can't respect the fact that I also changed mine?

To preface, I have never liked the name I was born with. It is, to be quite frank, a pretty shit name that always got me bullied growing up and nobody could ever spell right. Growing up I've always tried to get people to call me a shorthand version of my name, or even as a little kid I went by Matilda (from the movie) instead of my actual name.

My mom never put much stock in me actually ever changing my name. In her mind, she named me, and that's final. That's my name, regardless of what I want or what any legal paperwork says.

Thing is, she also hated her name growing up. She always went by a shorter, somewhat alternate version of it, and recently she even changed her last name so she's no longer 'connected' to her family name. So now she has a completely different name, first and last, to what she was born with, and there was never any 'consultation' on it with the rest of us like she demanded of me.

I started going by a completely different name roughly six years ago. I got into college and it was just a completely different world. If I said I wanted someone to call me by X name, they did it immediately and without so much as blinking. Everyone accepted that the name on my legal paperwork wasn't my name, and that was that.

Except for my mom, who told me I was being ridiculous and essentially took every chance she could to mock me or tell me I wasn't 'actually' changing my name. She also steadfast refused and still refuses to use the name, and when she does its always with snide emphasis, like its such a hardship for her.

Well. I submitted the deed poll a few months ago, and now, legally, after using the name for six whole years, I am that person. She absolutely blew up at me over it, and ever since its been the same song and dance where she'll refuse to use my new name, claim its just oh-so-hard to remember to use it, and deliberately mispronounces my middle name despite being repeatedly told how to say it.

Its not even a hard middle name to pronounce. But for an example of how she mispronounces it, think of the word 'bastion.' She will resolutely and deliberately say 'batoon' instead. That's how she treats my middle name.

She'll spend a whole conversation mis-naming me, then when she sees me staring at her will snidely go 'oh, sorry, X' with a roll of her eyes and a huff. Any time I verbally correct her on my name she takes it as an attack.

But she's also always going on and on and on about respect and how she deserves respect for everything she does, and the words its basic respect are practically tattooed on my eardrums from her various explosions.

My point of view is its incredibly disrespectful to not even try making the effort of calling someone by their new name, especially when its not even a name that's hard to pronounce or anything. I chose a pretty standard name.

So if she repeatedly insists on disrespecting me that way, why should I respect her choice to change her name and be called something different? Why should I show her the respect she has literally never shown me?

I don't really have to use her actual name all that often, but I'm considering that when I do, I should make a point of using her old name instead. Exactly the way she does for me. And if she tries to call me out or correct me, I'm going to give her the exact same attitude she gives me, because actually talking to her about this goes nowhere. She just starts ranting about how hard it is for her to remember I haven't gone by my old name for six fucking years.

WIBTA for that? It'll probably just cause more problems than it fixes, but honestly, idc at this point. She can get what she gives, and that's what she's giving.

What are these acronyms?

[sgiandubh]

Hello! I have a new drinking game suggestion! If you haven't listened to that podcast yet (the part about Outlander and Sam starts at 51:00) how about a sip every time she mentions her recommendations for watching the series, stressing that it's something scorching? Also, every time it is said that he is single and dates a lot, in addition to being 🔥 The segment lasts about three minutes, surely no one could get drunk in such a short amount of time!

Dear Drinking Game Anon,

Please forgive the delay - almost everybody, even the trolls, answered the salvo of Deux Moi (that is a bastardized translation of 'Me Too', I bet the farm) Anons and perhaps you found me wanting. Oh, well: I never gave three dried shits about being FIRST.

Not even #sorry for the length, Anon.

That podcast is some mighty BS you are kindly asking me to dissect for you. So I just listened to that S focused bit again, as I am writing the answer. Fasten your seat belts.

I mean, where the hell do I begin? Everything is so unlikeable and so cheap about that podcast, I could start wondering if *urv is not poor man's Deux Moi, if you see what I mean (she came in first, alas). No, they don't give a flying fuck about S, in fact both of them have no idea even who he is, since they are mispronouncing his name repeatedly and need to check Wikipedia for his basic trivia. Their cackle does not really bring anything new to the table and it has all the predictable bits: his fandom 'who thinks he is dating his costar' (zero about the Mommies, its most vocal part, who definitely think he doesn't - interesting, huh?), him being on Raya and 'obviously dating' (yeah, yeah, we've seen the results, Dubai Hooker and then 'No Toxic People' on top), OL being a 'historical fantasy series, like GoT' (Lord give me strength), but you know, chock a block filled with sex (😱🤣). So it all boils down to the girl being 'identified in DMs' (by who, I wonder? 'Always Hands On' *urv?) as a 'creative type'. The core of the debate was, in fact, whether it was or not a first date and what about the lack of drinks on that table - it never occurred to them Einsteins that was a dead giveaway of those pictures being totally staged, eh?

Nothing to write home about and I honestly fail to see where the fuck did those women notice the girl 'lovingly gazing' at S. At any rate, this is so artificial I could cry and it does sound like a quid pro quo type of favor Deux Moi did to PR. It actually gave me the same 'shoehorned in' feeling as C's Remarkable Weekend non-photos featured in that magazine, in 2019. The two 'gossip columnists' clearly didn't prepare anything at all about it and DGAF pretending to be plausible liars. One more time, it felt cheap and a desperate retcon of the Dubai Hooker Walk of Shame, plus the added insult to injury Alice Don't Panikian was.

But, as always, there's more to it. And at this point, I do wonder why and actually how on Earth nobody in this fandom ever thought to find out what the fuss was about Deux Moi, at all.

[I was brutally cut, just here, Anon, by the worst power outage in our neighborhood for ages - heat does that to old, clunky European capitals. Sorry for that.]

Deux Moi came out of obscurity during the COVID-19 pandemic, when people were locked down at home, bored and depressed. It markets itself as a gossip column with a twist, almost never checks facts and apparently has no problem being seen by many as a neo Hollywood Dumpster Diver of sorts. To counter all sorts of possible legal problems, it launched itself and prospered because of the mandatory 'Anon pls' opening to each and every submission. It allows them to never feel or take any responsibility for the content it posts. The reason she can do this is the US Supreme Court's 1964 decision New York Times vs. Sullivan, which allowed media (including gossip sites) more liberty in expressing their opinions. It only sanctions actual malice in doing so, which simply means that if you hate Steven Cree (random example) and publicly comment he is a talentless bore, there is nothing he or his PR can do about it. But if you publicly comment that Steven Cree is a pedophile or a drug addict (OTT made-up stuff inserted here on purpose) and you fail to prove it with facts, well - that is actual malice all the way. You'd better pawn your silver spurs and sell your first born, because they will come to get you and won't do it with grace. In fact, as recently as 2022, the US Supreme Court refused to revise its doctrine on this particular point of law, further linking it to the US Constitution's First Amendment, that deals with free speech and strongly protects it:

[more on this, here: https://edition.cnn.com/2022/06/27/politics/supreme-court-new-york-times-sullivan/index.html - make no mistake, this is a very high profile political decision, for obvious reasons; therefore, I shall not further comment, you make up your own mind about it, according to your own creed. But I know what I think, and what I think is the analogy was promoted by a very conservative Supreme Court].

Deux Moi will never be that sophisticated, but that does not mean it was never above any possible threats & scandal. Its public image heavily relies on the mystique of an incognito mastermind, who, like the Mahdi, Shia Islam's Hidden Twelfth Imam, walks this Earth and sees/knows everything. From there to eternity, victimization is never far away:

[full article, here: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/a43620663/deux-moi-identity-dark-side/ - I don't believe a single word of what the person shares, just so you know; for many reasons].

I mean, she is no Louella Parsons, no Hedda Hopper, hell - not even Liz Smith. And funny she mentions Taylor Swift (who I like more and more by the day, hahaha), who went for her via her PR, recently, in quite a clear fashion:

Wow, mother of all dragons: ' a marriage ceremony in the UK', that 'wasn't (...) legal (...) and wasn't made official'. Excuse me? RINGS A FUCKING BELL IN OUR OWN BACKYARD? Hell yes, rings a fucking steamer foghorn. Anyways, Tree Paine was not amused at all and the excuses were paltry, to say the least:

Sorry for the long quote, Anon, but I found Glamour's piece very enlightening, for once:

[our Spanish mafia girls could read the whole article here: https://www.glamour.com/story/taylor-swifts-publicist-tree-paine-thinks-deux-moi-needs-a-reality-check]

I still wonder why this 2021 'Anon pls' was never disputed and at least partially proven true:

Even better, check out this Reddit thread, just to see what The Casuals commented:

[whole thread, here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/nzx8mw/ok_i_am_dying_to_know_who_this_is_about/]

I wouldn't describe this as people being exactly 'shocked'. Interesting reactions, at any rate, and not a Stan in view.

Go figure, indeed.

I hope this answers your ask, Anon. It took me a long while to write, due to unforeseen reasons, but I certainly did it with pleasure and two or three well-placed grins.

[catb-fics]

Why do people in London get so angry when tourists pronounce "Leicester" wrong?? My hotel was near leicester line and so rude no one helped me when I asked for directions to get there just because I was not pronouncing it properly?? I just landed in London from Canary Islands and I want to go to a friendlier place please any suggestions? I feel like I am going to order a beer in a pub and probably get side eyes on me because I will mispronounce the name of something :(

Aww I’m so sorry people have been rude to you 😞 Unfortunately London is known to be quite an unfriendly place, I think people are so rushed and busy they don’t have time to stop and help people. The annoying thing is it’s probably those same people who won’t even try and pronounce local names when they go on holiday abroad and will expect everyone to help them then! 😡

Personally I find London quite stressful too with the fast pace of life, I enjoy visiting when I do but I’m always glad to leave as well.

Are you set to stay in London or are you travelling elsewhere in the UK? If you have any particular region in mind to travel to let us know, I’m sure someone on here can recommend some places to visit. Hope you enjoy the rest of your trip xxx

[woolandcoffee]

A bonus of having a name that people commonly mispronounce* is that if I accidentally manage to pick up a spam call or some kind of promotional call, there's a 50% chance they'll say "hello, am I speaking with Wally?" to which I can respond "sorry, actually you're speaking to Woolly" which almost always triggers the "so sorry, we called the wrong number" response and I am released from any further conversation.

*I don't even actually want to say mispronounce because what actually happens is that they see my name and assume its a completely different word than what my name actually is. I sort of get it - the word that my name gets mistaken for is spelled similarly to my name (only one letter difference), but when you get the point where literal government agencies are making the mistake, it begins to feel like some of y'all just aren't reading.

[itsdefinitely]

things i noticed on the opening night of beetlejuice at the national theater

putting a read more because this is a long post

-didnt change the whole being dead thing unfortunately :(

-there was no sandy in the whole being dead thing :(

-justin collette does what i can only describe as a gay voice (he also does The Voice really well; its consistent!!)

-at the pose for the whole being dead thing, beetlejuice motions for the crowd to keep cheering (a lot) until rhe crowd is screaming and then he starts. uh. well. hm.

-the purple curtains that are slightly open and emit smoke are used for scene changes

-"and then the b-man is free and the mai tais are on me" someone in the audience: "woo!" "yeah, woo. woos for all of us"

-beetlejuice does that thing when you pretend to walk down the stairs behind the couch

-they changed ready set not yet to be about wiring!

-the maitlands die of an electric shock instead of falling to their death

-beetlejuice exited stage right, and then walked down the stairs when entering next; he just kept teleporting around the stage like that

-when beetlejuice was being melodramatic about the puppet show, he got on the floor to keep screaming

-"that was one heck of a shock" dont judge me. i like the line changes.

-barbara dry heaves after finding out she died

-they kept barbara's hand being on fire!!

-during the whole being dead thing pt 2, beetlejuice reads off his hand to remember how to spell his name

-during the whole being dead thing pt 2, beetlejuice does a think where he pretends hes riding a horse (yknow at the end when the horse walking sounds happen)

-everyone started cheering when beetlejuice was doing the thing with adam on the chair… you know the one… so he KEPT GOING AND PRETENDED HE WAS RIDING A HORSE (a theme that may continue to appear later)

-okay i dont know how to describe it, but adam and barbara are played in a way that is Violently Bisexual (i love it so much oh my god)

-LYDIA IS PLAYED LIKE A TEENAGER!!

-i wasnt really sure about delia at first but i love that she mispronounces So Many Words (like. more than Leslie Kritzer did)

-instead of the house going back, the purple curtains lower again during dead mom

-THE COMEDIC TIMING ON "…aaaand thats how i got herpes."

"…"

"…"

"frOM KATHARINE HEPBURN!!"

-barbara and adam are so good auuughhhhhhh theyre so much more. i dunno. uh. in touch?? like, they feel less like dorks (still dorks though)

-when adam interrupts beetlejuice's soliloquy, theres like the biggest pause.

-"im sorry guys, ill pay you for the full day" as the soliloquy chorus is leaving

-"you make." dramatic pause "daddy." another dramatic pause "SO angry."

-i love barbara so much in this shes more of a girlboss than usual

-okay i know how to describe it now. there is so much like. body language in this. adam is a lot more raunchy, barbara is a lot more realistic (she flosses at one point), and there is SO much hip thrusting from beetlejuice (no t-rex arms though)

-they close the curtains again, and only half of it opens for delia's scene (amazing staging)

-delia doesnt do the fortnite dance during no reason

-lydia sounds so much more genuinely confused than amused when she says "is this still about me?"

-adam and barbara with sheets over their heads project on the screen behind lydia

-the curtains raise when lydia chases them, and its the attic again

-"perhaps i myself am strange and unusual"

-she sounds so heartbroken when barbara asks "and your mom?" "dead."

-"should we get the sheets?" "adam" "we should get the sheets" "adam." "no no no we should-" "ADAM" looks at each other walks offstage without the sheets (it was probably to stall for the scene change)

-like with no reason, half the curtain raises instead of all of it

-"i am very good at sex." its so funny to me because delia is played as So over-the-top and this is Completely deadpan

-lydia is so whiney (i dont know any other way to describe it) when she says "and their eyes are mad of the deeevill" it feels like a real teenager

-being able to hear every footstep after "i wish i were dead."

-half the curtain raises again, the opposite side to the previous scene

-no wig change :(

-they kept the extra arm/leg!!

-green lights when beetlejuice says "im gonna have a new best FRIEEEEEEEEEEND"

-this is mostly unchanged, but i love all of it anyway

-they kept beetlejuice burning the note

-when beetlejuice gets knocked off, theres a projection of the smoke ring

-say my name gets extended at the end!! at the "gonna make him say me name (make him sya your name)" part!! for an extra 2-4 bars i think

-ah yes. this is the scene.

-lydia pretends to do a ballet move (i cant remember what its called)

-delia isnt wearing lingerie, and her dress doesnt get ripped off

-everybody cheers for day-o (as they should)

-no pig, but we have the small plate with the meat hand on it, and maxie dean's wife says that line (the deep "daylight come and me wan go home")

-beetlejuice still emerges from the table!!

-all the green spotlights on him when he says:

-"it's showtime"

-HE DID THE. HE SAID THE THING!! HE SAID THE THING!!

-obviously, no big face and hands, but they hand wood/cardboard (cant tell which, probably wood) versions of them

-they keep the carnival projection on the stage

-"guess we're not invisible anymore"

-can i mention again the justin collette does The Voice??? its slkdkcidiwoksmcnskkw

end of act one

-SKYE!!

-theres no physical house prop, but the curtains are lowered and the house is projected onto it

-the projection and all the lights turn red when skye inhales deeply

-skye does her best not to look at lydia

-EVERYBODY LAUGHING WHEN "well we're really not supposed to" "why?" "pedophiles :]"

-i couldnt see it clearly, but i think skye had a fire instead of a flashlight

-"boo"

-this part is mainly unchanged too, but i really really like it still

-skye runs out the door (instead of walking up the stairs and disappearing)

-beetlejuice clones!!

-the pie lady actually catches the pie (when i saw it on broadway she didint)

-theres no "that looks like a penis" :(

-i love the npr tote bag. i kinda want one

-beetlejuice doesnt put on a sad little kid voice when talking about his mother drinking. its more like it happened when he was a teenager/young adult. he also doesnt do the "i shouldve left like your-" sad sad about to cry voice "father" he says the line, but his voice doent break. hes more mean

-"get her to marry me" clones: "huh????" "oh, its like a uhm. green card thing." clones: "ohhhhh" "yeah, yeah. strictly business"

-during that beautiful sound pt 2 (which i adore) beetlejuice makes a zip your mouth kind of motion when the clones are supposed to be quiet, which like. is that possession??

-the transition between these scenes is beetlejuice directing two of his clones to run in circles while the set around them gets moved

-i love the glowy effect with the book (also you can hear every page turn)

-picking up a metal detector "i never even used this. and then i felt bad that i never used it" pretends to use the metal detector "beep beep beep beep"

-"get right outside my comfort zone" LEANS TO THE SIDE AND RUNS HANDS DOWN TORSO

-delia jumping up on the couch

-delia and charles's dramatic sighing

-OKAY HOLY FUCK. THE WAY OTHO SAYS "toyota prius" BROKE MY BRAIN HE LIKE. THERES AN ACCENT AND HE ROLLS THE R

-i just. i like otho

-"the b is silent, but it still stings" "no, not that one" "why say doubt, when you can stop at do" "not that one" "doubt. it has a 'u' but it doesnr have a 'me'" "thats the one"

-"ugh classic maitlands. yknow what?" steps towards the edge of the stage, looking at the audience "theyre the real villains of this show" lydia: "what?" "nothing"

-"classic bait and switch, oldest trick in the book" looks off to the side and sighs

-"Normally, I perform exorcisms por bono, but you made me come to-" the most disgusted voice "-Connecticut"

-barbara still floats!!

-no wig change for the whole being dead thing pt 4

-theres still the fire clickers!!

-beetlejuice comes from the stairs instead of rising from the floor

-i never noticed this before but otho, delia, and charles get bound by chains

-adams mouth gets sealed shut its so cool aaae

-"i want you… to marry me!" everyone: "WHAT?" very exasperated "oh cmon guys its a greencard thing"

-good old fashioned wedding my beloved

-the door is still green and expels fog

-"classic bait and switch, oldest trick in the book!"

*pause*

"why does everyone keep leaving me :D" he doesnt even sound mad. then,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

it went on for at least 30 seconds (probably more)

i cannot stress enough how long that scream went on for

-*holding his head in his hands, the most tired and defeated voice ever*

"alright. new plan."

"youre all going to die"

*happy cheery joyful*

"TOODAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY"

-flashing lights going on for forever as they change to the netherworld (i know it takes a bit to change scenes but my eyes Hurt)

-they do the thing with the white square things lighting up one by one

-miss argentina has a southern accent and mispronounces argentina

-IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOOOOWWWWW

-angry pygmys still shrunk his head <:(

-juno was like. too much for me i think. tone her down a little. also, she doesnt have the smoke machine that makes it look like she's smoking (still has a cigarette though)

-chase sequence!!

-lydia is genuinely so heartbreaking (she is usually but this show especially)

-theres no life or death sign (from what i saw) but the logo is on a podium with a sheet on it

-adams podium still says sexy-beetlejuice has a cool suit i love it!!

-he didnt really yell; the "where the contestants suck and the host is very angry" was all in the same tone

-"let me check my stocks"

*the sheet on the aforementioned podium is lifted, revealing otho/kevin in stocks*

-kevin offers to give beetlejuice his prius, claiming that "IT WAS A PLUG-IN" before hes wheeled offstage to the sound of wood splintering on impact

-"Mr. Juice."

-"HOLD ON JUST ONE DAMN MINUTE"

ill be honest, i dont know if it was because ive seen the show before (most likely) or if it was because adam was more bold throughout the rest of the show, but it didnt have the same impact. but this makes up for it:

-as adam is telling everyone everything, he gets close to beetlejuice to the point where they are inches apart and his hands are on beetlejuice's ass

-the kiss!! slay!!

-barbara is actually angry, and adam says "maitlands 2.0" to get her on the same page

-barbara cant kiss beetlejuice HAH

-"WAIT WAIT WAIT. this is all very

believable.

im a highly sexual being and i do love an orgy. but you all dont strike me as the orgying kind. except for her."

*points to delia*

"shes done some stuff."

*delia pauses, and then makes a big motion with her arms like "yeah you got me"*

-TEAR AWAY COSTUME!!

-his hair changes too!!

-GLITTER CONFETTI!!

-the lights still turn pink when

"i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright"

-OKAY BUT. BEETLEJUICE AND ADAM GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES ACROSS THE STAGE

-this part is very unchanged

-i love the living monologue. i love the birds and the stock song thay plays and the roller-coaster of emotions and the being hit over the head and the being stabbed

-juno is back!!

-"one minute youre on top of the world, and the next minute, you feel like no one will ever love you… this guy knows what im talking about!

i pick on you because i see myself in you. later tonight. say my name three times."

-"and you."

*dramatic noise the whole stage turns blue except for a spotlight on lydia*

-THE SANDY PUPPET!! EATS JUNO!! SANDY IS HERE!!

-"look lydia now we both have dead moms!"

*nobody onstage laughs, the audience losing their minds*

*pause*

*swinging the severed leg back and forth*

*uses the leg like a golf club*

"and a swing and a miss"

someone in the audience: "FORE!"

*flips them off* "three. fuck you."

-*in a scottish accent* "charles ya ripe old bastard never change"

"i already have changed. ive changed a lot."

*no accent* "well thennn... go fuck yourself"

-when beetlejuice and delia are doing… that thing during the goodbyes, beetlejuice pretends to ride a horse towards delia (told you the theme would return) and she pretends to ride a horse when he gets close

-"dora" "delia" "we didnt hang out much"

-"i think ill miss you most of all. scarecrow. boop" *put cowboy hat on lydia*

-i love beetlejuice's exit so much, gets carried dramatically by his clones only to be put down right after

-"GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD. I’LL NEVER COME THIS WAY AGAIN! TELL MY STORYYYYYY"

*pause*

"this has been a strange day."

-lydia still floats during jump in the line/dead mom reprise

-"im home."

end of act two

[alatismeni-theitsa]

At one point in my college life, a friend convinced me to join a sorority and while I didn't like the idea of sororities based on stories I heard, I wanted to be closer friends with her so I did it. We ended up the only two left during pledging and it was one of the worst soul-breaking experiences in my life. The people running that chapter made me contemplate terrible things, grinded me down to mere dust, and made us do it all in secret because they went against the school's demand to suspend activities after a fraternity caused the death of a student due their heinous hazing rituals.

I left after a year because they did nothing to resolve the harassment I experienced from their partner fraternities, especially since I was the only one sober most of the time and had to endure it in order to take of everyone. I could not take it anymore.

My questions in all this is: what why do people call this Greek life? What are your feelings about it? I knew it wasn't for me and I can't believe I made myself go through all that just to confirm what I already knew. I felt no "sisterhood" not even real friendship, like there was always going to be a barrier between me and everyone else in the lines above me.

I have a memory of talking with a real Greek culture club with actual Greek students on campus who told us that we'd be better off learning actual Greek history than to go into that. I still wish I could have done that because I enjoy learning history, and they were happy to see other students interested.

Even ~8 years later, "Greek life" still feels like something so far removed from what it's claiming to honor that I don't know why it's still going on.

You hit the nail on the head, anon, and I am deeply sorry you went through this! This type of harassment is unacceptable and my heart aches for what I read! Sending you lots of strength and courage because... what in the actual FUCK was this period!!

The Greek Life communities are a remnant of high society clubs and that's why they think they are The Shit and they are super exclusionary. I heard that they are called this because they initially were based on ideals from ancient Greek society - but I don't have any knowledge on how they practice that.

The Greeks you spoke to were right. These sororities don't give you a connection or a learning experience to Greek culture. There's like NO connection whatsoever rather than some mispronounced Greek letters and some basic human ideals like "we give to charity". Some sororities turn out to be fairly good experiences and others very classicist and toxic. I don't want to dismiss people who had a good time in such chapters but I would like to note that the foundation of these communities are based on is not the best, and in the USA it looks like they mostly benefit the WASP upper class.

If you aim is to learn stuff about Greek culture DON'T waste your time on sororities/fraternities. Greeks themselves are not without biases but they at least offer you actual knowledge. Plus, Greeks are very enthusiastic in sharing their culture.

For more of my opinions see the tag #greek life.

If you want to stick around I have many tags full of content about Greek culture, history, mythology, food, music, traditional clothing, customs, names, memes, everything. You can search any word in the tags and on the search box and I'll probably have something on it. I hope the blog can become a start to the journey you wanted to take in college.

[gravitywonagain]

so, regarding these last two posts, i want to apologize for things i have done in the past, and state my intent to do better in the future. i am white, but i'm trying not to be White, and neither of those posts need my input. but i wanted to address this openly anyway, because i think it's important to see that people are allowed to learn and grow and fix their own behavior.

the things i'm referring to are those specifically regarding my naming of ocs in my mdzs-based fan works and my general complaining about it.

it is not a secret that many white people struggle with naming characters that use naming conventions different to our own. this is likely the case for all cross-cultural naming practices. it is difficult to understand connotation and innuendo and traditions regarding names, particularly those that originate from a language you don't speak. white names also have a bunch of unwritten rules that creators in other cultures might find needlessly esoteric (why has my middle name been passed down through ten generations on my mother's side, while my dad's middle name is just one that his parents thought sounded cool? because patriarchy, actually. and also a lot of other reasons involving how traditional each side of my family is. also why do we even have middle names? what are they for? see: esoteric bullshit). you can do research, you can ask for help, but it can still be uncomfortable.

however! just because i have struggled with a thing does not mean i have to make it everybody else's problem!

in my endnotes on the chapters that included new oc names, i also wrote about how much i disliked naming characters in this fandom because of how difficult it was for me. this may be true, but it is not something that needs to be said where people who have had to deal with all sorts of racism regarding their own names or the names of their friends and family should have to read it. i can explain the name. i can even ask for criticism if someone feels like they want to give it. but i should not push my own discomfort with "trying to get it right" in other people's faces. it is not their problem. and it does no one any good to remind them -- while they're just enjoying some nonsense fanfic -- that their names are in any way "weird." because they're not! but they have dealt with that assumption for far too long, and even this expressed difficulty might remind them of that history. it may not seem like a big problem for people who have white names that have been mispronounced, but i would like to refer you back to the two previous posts and remind you that we have not faced racism about it. the barista getting your name wrong at starbucks is not racism. years of hearing your name purposefully mispronounced as part of a joke that digs not only at you but at your entire heritage is.

i am going to go edit these endnotes after i post this. and i will endeavor to consider all the things that i am writing in them in the future.

but -- and this is really important for any white creators who have stuck with me this far -- i had thought i was doing well before. i had thought i was doing my best before. and i was! but now i have learned a new thing, and so i am updating my behavior to reflect a new understanding.

to be clear, nobody has come to me and told me these things have hurt them, but they shouldn't have to. i should be able to take responsibility for the way my words may affect people without somebody pointing it out directly.

if any of this has affected you negatively, i am sorry for that. i understand why you may not have wanted to come to me to tell me about it, whether for personal reasons or for general exhaustion reasons or whatever else.

regardless, i am sorry. i will do better.

[frostythefrostedfox]

This is one of those things that when I say that I get it, I really mean it, and I hate a lot

Some people would put an imaginary bar and if you can't vault over it like the olympics, you aren't deserving of X title or Y name, and everytime you use it to describe yourself you will be questioned, the first assumption is that you are lying/making it up, and not in a regular curiously inquisitive manner, as if I just said that I have a shark bite on my inner thigh and someone went like "Wow that's so cool, do you have any pictures?", is more of a suspiciously shady manner, almost saying "Show it to me right now or else you're lying"

Also how casual people seems to be about these sort of things in both ways, the ones that put themselves at the top treat the whole thing as if they were playing the painolimpics, and the gold medal goes to the one that struggles the most. "You aren't autistic enough", "You don't look hispanic enough", "You asian features aren't that noticeable", "Your deafness aint that bad" are some of the ones I tend to hear the most, but that list goes on and on and on and on, almost endlessly, although the wildest one I have heard is "You're a fake leftie", this came up after I said I was left handed yet the person had seen me write with my right hand before, I had to go on this huge explanation about how South America being South America, left-handed accomodations are sparse and sometimes nonexistent, so it was either be uncomfortable in a seat I couldn't use, yoink it from the other lefthanded kid in my class or simply suck it up and learn how to write with my right hand, spoiler alert: I did the latter (and my handwriting is still better than theirs)

And the other ones, the ones that believe that you are just like them becuase thay can't see "anything different" or "wrong" with you and simply assume just want to put a quirky label on you because it sounds cool, since you don't display the most stereotypically overused traits of X or Y, then you obviously don't have it and you're just faking it for atention, I am deeply sorry I am not mispronouncing every single word in every language that aint Spanish in an overexaggerated accent enough for you to get a gist of where I come from, and I guess I should also apologize for your inability to pick up a book about world history, because it would very easily explain why I have some asian facial features despite my last name being of Italian/Portuguese descent yet it is written in Castiallian Spanish and how all of that correlates with the country I was born in, if you can even put it in a map after I name it that is

I certainly have not experienced ALL the bad things someone with my labels could very easily go thru, and I certainly do not get how bad certain things can be because, again, I haven't gone thru them not a single time in my life, but that doesn't means that I haven't had similar hardships or that I just got to coast it and never have to worry about a thing

I do not know sign language, and I will never know how disorienting it can be to live without ever hearing a sound, but that doesn't means that I don't have trouble understanding people because they sat in my deaf side, or that I have to turn my head awkwardly when someone is speaking at me in noisy or crowded spaces.

I have never had much trouble with people understanding what I am saying nor have I ever been ridiculed for the way I pronounce of certain words, so I really don't know what it's like, and I hope I never find out, but that doesn't means that I don't have trouble with how abonormally slow I talk in anything other than Spanish and how sometimes that gets on people's gears as I take far too long to just express the most basic idea and have been told to "get done with it" or straight up having to change the conversation because the other person loses interest.

How casual Othering other people has become really makes it feel like being stuck in the middle is way worse than being on any of the extremes sometimes, because the people that looks like you don't like you because you don't act like them, and the people that acts like you don't like you either because you don't look like them.

Sincerely, what the fuck?

Credit: @pet_foolery

[niningtori]

STOPPPP WHY DO WE HAVE SIMILAR NICKNAMES! we were meant to be. i am so 🩷🩷🩷🩷 u feeding me compliments actually makes me feel something damn! i have been so out of touch and isolated lately SJDJSNSB i will try to interact more. also i relate to names being hard to pronounce i honestly think mine is very easy but it’s constantly mispronounced. PLS their asses didn’t listen 😭😭😭😭😭 me when talking about any of my friends they don’t listen!!!! except for u 😇😇😇😇 random tmi but i haven’t been singing for a bit bc i think my jaw has become pretty misaligned so it’s been tense n heavy for the last week but i finally set an orthodontist appt 😛👍🏻 but that might mean i have to get invisalign….but it’s better than braces which i had for about 2 yrs 🐰

i've been trying to tell u we're meant to be for the longest time now i'm glad ur finally waking up 🤭 and don't pressure urself into interacting if you're not up to it how u feel is most important i just love hearing from you whenever ur feeling up to it!! i'm sorry ur name is always mispronounced that must be frustrating... ppl dont even try w my name bc it's so long i have literally had ppl tell me "shame on your parents" and "your parents hate you" bc of it like OMG??? and i will always listen best friend 🫂 im sorry to hear ab the singing but i hope you can get it figured out so u wont be uncomfortable anymore :( oh god braces are absolutely awful i HATED them and i havent worn my retainer in years so if i need them again i'm sorry i'm just going to have to end it all (kidding)

[caramelmochacrow]

every time i finish a term/quarter of school, i just have. thoughts.

cut bc. yeah.

i really hate my full name. not because (or not just because) it's my technical dead name, but because of how no matter what, people mispronounce it. no matter where i am.

my first and second names are literally pronounced how they are spelt. it's quick, simple and fine. but my classmates (before NZ) kept mispronouncing my first name. i just stopped correcting it after a week because they weren't good with english (well, most) so i understood why. my second name is the easiest to pronounce among my names, but not for kiwis.

they say it without the slightly hard R in my name. they say it softly, as though it were an L. i understand why, i know why. but i feel so sick of it, like it isnt me. that isnt how you say it. im not that person.

the only people who pronounce it right are a few maori students, international students, and just people who are not white. my friends -- most of whom are around asia -- pronounce it with an R. every time i hear them call my name i feel comfortable, i am that person. i dont even care that it's my technical dead name. that's me.

every time, one of my friends always say it w the R like that. like, consistently. and i feel happy thinking about it.

but you know what? a teacher still manage to literally mispronounce it so bad it's a whole other name.

the teacher that was supposed to say my name in my award ceremony today managed to say it w an i before. like. how!?!?!?!?!?!??! there is no i. there is a fucking L. like. ????

in the ceremony, she managed to pronounced my name right, but my last name was always. consistently. mispronounced. im not surprised bc it was spanish. but it's just. yeah wow. okay. sure. whatever. the staff will apologize when they mispronounce one of the maori students' name, but not THREE of the filipino students called to be given an award? okay. that's fine. whatever. tagalog is hard to pronounce. who gives a fuck. tagalog isnt well know to the point people call it 'filipino' EVEN THOUGH. SAYING TAGALOG IS FILIPINO. IS LIKE SAYING "OH, HINDI IS THE SAME AS PUNJABI" EVEN THOUGH IT FUCKING ISNT. OR EVEN "HINDI IS INDIAN." LIKE. !?!?!?!? IT'S LIKE YOUR SAYING THE NORTH ISLAND DIALECT OF MAORI IS THE SAME AS THE SOUTH ISLAND DIALECT.

it's saying ilocano isnt a thing, bisaya isnt a thing, like. all of the dialects in the philippines dont fucking exist. you are erasing my fucking history bitch.

people not knowing is fine, i know people don't know, but when i correct you more than once, i think you should get it in your head now. most of the maori students say 'tagalog' rather than 'filipino' but holy shit most if not ALL of my white classmates (except for my friends) say filipino. you SPEAK filipino. you're speaking FILIPINO.

I AM FILIPINO THANK YOU BUT IT'S TAGALOG. I SPEAK TAGALOG. like.

it must be bc of how much my schools told me to be proud of my heritage but every time people get something slightly wrong, i get annoyed. not to the point i scream at them, but i just get annoyed and think 'that's wrong.... but eh they not've known' and move on.

one of my classmates yelled to my filipino aquaintance that she only knew 'filipino' songs. im sorry bitch but what the actual fuck makes you think she doesnt know a single 'western' song? fucking cunt. dont assume shit. she knows english songs you just love thinking that all filipino people arent smart. also the way she said it made it sound like she only knew 'tagalog songs'. as if opm doesnt have any english songs. opm means original pinoy music, not only ptagalog music. it means music made by filipino people. you know IV of spades? they made songs like 'come inside of my heart', 'hey barbara'. which are all in english.

lola amor? they made 'maybe maybe' which is all in english.

actually yk what im gonna listen to some opm rn.

[thedysphoriadiaries]

Entry 20 - Rambling - 6 March 2023, 12:03am

Well, I intended to write this yesterday, but seeing as to how I've slept my entire day away, the second best timing to do it would be now.

I realized that there's been an awful lot of things that I have been sorry for. Things I'm not sure if I should be apologizing for.

...

What is this obsession with femininity that I have? I'm starting to hate it. It compels me to do things I hate, such as ogling women. I don't know why I keep doing that.

Now, I don't know if this discomfort comes from the fact that some of the women I ogle shouldn't be targets of my own gaze, or if I'm actually aro-ace, or if I'm actually uncomfortable with the fact that my gaze is so... male. There are also a whole bunch of other reasons that I could explore, and that I should. At the core of it all, though, I just hate the things I am doing, and by extension, I hate that part of me that wants to be something I'm not.

I also don't want to be called a bro, with one exception, that being my brother. It's kinda fine if he calls me that (even then, he calls me a horribly mispronounced 'bro'. I mostly call him with 'oi', or use Gyoza as a way to get his attention, so I guess he's still giving me some measure of respect.). After all, there's pretty much nothing else (except my name, but it feels weird being addressed by your name, by your siblings) he can address me by without outing me. 'Sis' doesn't feel right yet, since I know I'm not ever going to allow myself to be who I want to be, and that I'm just... not ready, I suppose. I still have a bunch of things to find out about myself.

...

One thing that I know I'm apologizing for is the thought of doing this for attention, or this being a phase, and unlike the other points I brought forth, I know where this one comes from.

It comes from a place where others viewed me as being 'indoctrinated by the west', or something. At least, that's where I perceive it to have come from. The undertones behind this guilt over being who I am taste the same, as the ones that I felt when a friend of mine told me that I was not a femboy, despite me, at that time, seeing a little bit of myself in them. Of course, what he said turned out to be true - I'm not a femboy.

That lays the groundwork for at least, some of the guilt that I am experiencing now. Now that I have internalized what others will think of me, it's kinda natural that the thoughts of being trans might be met with some resistance, along the lines of. "no, you're not" (believe me, I'm still thinking through this), or "It's just a phase", or "oh, so and so can be interested in this".

The question is, how much can someone be interested in something before they become that something, or, at the core of it all...

How much of these feelings are normal?

That is the issue with not having a benchmark. Throughout my entire life, especially during puberty, I had this... weird inclination to being with the girls. I do not know about the motivations behind those feelings, whether they were sexual in nature, or whether they were an indication of something more. Either way, those feelings have always been in the background for me, and now that I have begun to explore them, I've brought them to the foreground. I don't know what to do with them, but I'll tell you more about that later.

Initially, I thought that I wasn't a femboy because my body was too... masculine to present as one of them. However, given some years (it's been five years since I questioned the femboy thing), I have come to realize that the aesthetic that femboys chase typically fall within the hyper-feminine archetype, which is not something I think I can do in any reasonable capacity. Even more importantly, that is not who I am, and it feels almost... insulting - to reduce being something like a man, or a woman, to one's presentation, and not take into account the whole of a person is insulting. That's simply not who I am.

Something deeper was, and is, happening, but I don't know what exactly it is, and, I kind of don't really know if this is something that I should want to find out - after all, while it is good to get a good yardstick to base what I'm feeling off of, knowing what exactly I'm going through could... tie me to something. It's the same reason why people generally agree that they wouldn't want to know their IQ scores.

...

Please forgive me if anything I have written sounds like garbage. I... took those sublinguals again (I need to get a new bottle of them), and I don't think I'm in a good position to write something. A little part of me also decided that it would be a good time to worry about the portfolio. But I just don't care. Not like it would make a difference; the school's just going to upload it anyway. I don't even know if my portfolio will/can make the cut. I don't even know what the people want, and to be honest, I'm not going to bother asking.

...

I wish I could close Pandora's Box, but... I don't know if this knowledge (that what I feel is not normal amongst cis people) is something I can un-know. More importantly, I'm not sure if it's something I am ready to un-know; it's like refusing to hold onto a life preserver when you're drowning in an ocean. The lifeline's there (in this case, it's one of many explanations for what I'm feeling), and, as easy as it is to grab onto it, it takes someone seriously deep in denial and intent on not being helped to refuse help.

Ironically, I am self-aware enough to know that I am indeed talking about myself when I said the above. I am also self-aware enough to know that I will basically do nothing with the information and the questions that I have been asking myself, making this entire thing about helping myself a huge meta-joke. I basically am neglecting myself to the point where I ask others for lifelines, but refuse to take them because I'm too scared to even bother helping myself.

Maybe that constitutes attention-seeking behavior, but who cares?

At this point, I'm going in circles, and, I suppose the only bit of progress I got out of five entire months of gender questioning was knowing how deep in denial I've dug myself. That, and, knowing that I'm just disgustingly deep in the entire "I want to be a girl" thing, even if it genuinely makes me happier. I don't know why it makes me happier. Am I escaping something that I don't want to live? Am I just reconnecting with whatever extant femininity I have within? I don't know.

I don't know if I can even be proud of being a man again, or if being a man is something that I can ever do. All I know is that I have a major distaste to being referred to as such, but it's... what I'm stuck with, and I should just... deal with it.

...

At least the Kyoto Jam track that I was learning is going well; I managed to learn the first thirty seconds in two days, which is pretty good pace, given how I don't really play fingerstyle.

[miyatsunami]

Tagged games

Thanks @caxsthetic for the tag ♡♡♡

Nicknames -> iz, izi, zozo, zozore

Real Name -> isaure

Zodiac Sign -> Sagittarius

Favourite Musician -> Elton John, One Direction, SHINee, and every single broadway/west end singer

Favourite Sports Team -> none, but I have a favourite athlete and it’s none other than Yuzuru Hanyu

Sports I watch -> swimming, figure skating, fencing, volleyball (and sometimes canoeing)

Other blogs -> none

Do I get asks -> nope because for now I’m mostly a reblog blog (once I feel brave enough I’ll start posting stuff I write, so maybe then I’ll have a few asks!)

How many blogs do I follow? -> 300 (from a lot of different fandoms oops)

Tumblr crushes -> everyone is just so talented here, it was difficult to narrow down the tumblrs to just a few haha! So @caxsthetic @heccingdead @zahrashallucinations @miyulovestowrite @tendou-tho @wowtobio @ohmythatmiya @milkyhaikyuu @bleedinqhearts @spikeroneshots and way more because you guys are the embodiment of talent ♡

Lucky numbers -> 3, 6 and 21

What am I wearing? -> culotte trousers, a tank top and a large cardigan

Dream Vacation -> Japan, Korea or Russia

Dream Car -> a red Fiat 500 (even though I absolutely hate driving)

Favourite Food -> anything involving cheese

Favourite Drink -> mango green tea with tapioca (0% sugar, 0% ice, no milk and a large one please)

Instruments -> sadly none :(

Languages -> French, English, good level of Spanish, and I’m currently learning Korean (oh and I also study Latin, Old English and Middle English at university)

Celebrity Crush -> Eddie Redmayne, aka the absolute love of my life

Tagging -> anyone from my tumblr crushes or simply anyone seeing this post who wants to do it! ♡

[howlingday]

Ruby: Hello, and welcome to the first every Scythe Masters/Users Team meeting! My name is Ruby Rose, and I use Crescent Rose, a scythe that's also a high-impact sniper rifle, and I am so excited to meet all of you! Uh, I know a lot of you signed your name as death, but only one of you showed up, so, uh, could you specify which Death you are?

Death: You can see my name, can't you?

Ruby: I can, but I don't want to mispronounce it, Mr. Horse Man.

Death: It's "The Horseman."

Ruby: See? Anyways, why don't you introduce yourself and your weapon?

Death: Very well. I am Death, the pale horseman. I use a multi-function scythe named "The Harvester." It is capable of many forms, including a grappling chain, climbing hooks, and a dual scythe blade.

Ruby: Ah~! So cool~!

Soul: Man, that sounds boring.

Maka: Be quiet, Soul! Hello, my name is Maka Albarn. My weapon is Soul, who can be a massive pain.

Soul: Especially if you're a witch.

Maka: Soul... Anyways, Soul is capable of shifting between this form and his scythe form.

Ruby: Whoa~! A talking weapon~!

Death: Hmph. A useless trait, really.

Soul: Ah, you're about as joyless as the Death I know.

Maka: I'm really sorry about him. He's...

Soul: Handsome? Adventurous? Awesome?

Maka: An idiot.

Soul: Harsh.

Ruby: Okay, we got one more joining us. His name is... Morta-ryan? Did I say that right?

Mortarion: No. I am Mortarion, Daemon Primarch of the Deathguard, and my weapon is Silence. It is a daemon weapon, capable of slaying a thousand men in a single stroke.

Death: Impressive.

Ruby: Wow~! A thousand~?! And a daemon weapon, too~!

Soul: Ah, it probably isn't so great.

Maka: A daemon weapon? Is that like Soul and the others?

Mortarion: My weapon is nothing like any of yours. Should you challenge me, it will be your last.

Ruby: Okay, just so everyone knows, this meeting is a way for us to meet up with other scythe users and discuss things lile tactics, maintenance, and anything else we feel like. Other people will show up time to time, which is why I asked for which specific Death was attending. Now, we have a few ground rules. First off, "Scythes are awesome, which means we should be, too."

Soul: I like it already.

Ruby: This means we should respect each other. If you aren't going to be nice, then you won't be allowed to join. We're here because we all share a common interest, and that interest is that scythes are cool. Are we all in agreement?

Maka: Yes.

Soul: I guess.

Death: Aye.

Mortarion: Agreed.

Ruby: Great! Next, if we meet in person, everyone needs to be clean. Grab a shower, put on deodorant, and don't show up smelling like a... like a...

Soul: Like a demon's ass crack?

Ruby: Yeah! That! Does everyone get that?

Mortarion: It will be difficult on my part, but I agree.

Death: I can agree to all statements made.

Soul: Yeah, same.

Maka: You're all gross. Obviously I agree.

Ruby: Okay, and lastly, unless we all agree, our weapons stay at the door. Unless it's to show off our weapon, we can't risk someone getting hurt because we're careless. I already sent an e-mail about this to everyone invited. It all the rules, and if you have questions, please feel free to ask me. Does everyone agree to the rules so far?

Mortarion: Agreed.

Death: Yes.

Soul: Uh, I don't know about that last one, but yeah, sure.

Maka: I agree to all rules so far.

Soul: Maka...

Ruby: Meeting adjourned!

[starglitterz]

cynosure. (iv)

─── chapter 4 ! ~ stay with me

summary; you and xiao are genmates under the famed streamer company genshin impact. the chemistry between the two of you is undeniable, and your fanbases absolutely love your collaborations. but when you both start meeting up offline more and more, your connection starts to deepen past just harmless flirting and playful banter. with these real feelings starting to affect both your job and reputation online, how will you two react when your relationship becomes the internet’s cynosure?

a/n; reading order for pics is

1 2

3 4

also don't forget to read chapter 3 first, tumblr didn't let it show up in tags so you might have missed it LOL and if the same thing happens to this chapter i'm going to commit arson /j

hope you enjoy !! :D

warnings; drunkenness

previous.┃masterlist.┃next.

please reblog ! it helps a lot :)

this chapter is specially dedicated to the wonderpets gang !! (@bookuya & @noirkkat) thanks for being so cute and supportive when i told you i finished the chapter HAHA ily guys sm 🥺💘

private messages !

groupchat (1) !

groupchat (2) !

facts !!

xiao and y/n both nearly fainted while texting each other at the beginning, and xiao dropped his phone onto his face almost as soon as the conversation was over because he was so surprised he had actually asked y/n to come over. he also proceeded to go on a crazy cleaning rampage of his entire house that day. as for y/n, every time her replies were 'dry' she was actually freaking out so much that she couldn't type out a proper reply LMAO

ganqing & chili so true,,, quill 🤝 making everyone gay AHAHA it's up to you to decide if they're official/just platonic flirting bc rn the only canon couple in cynosure is yantao.

also lumine tends to travel a lot between mondstadt, liyue and inazuma, because of her main job (streaming is a side gig for her and her brother) and that's why keqing had to confirm if she was actually there.

that one line where zhongli says 'no matter how small you are' to xiao can be interpreted as a dirty joke,,, but tbh it's a play on words!! xiao's chinese name is 魈, read as xiāo and meaning 'demon', but the word for 'small' in chinese is 小, read as xiăo. basically if you mispronounce xiao's name the meaning will change, which is what zhongli is teasing him abt and why xiao says 'that's not my name!' KJSAKJSD i'm so proud of this joke let me have my moment <3

zhongli and xiao have a sort of father-son relationship because zhongli is someone he looks up to a lot, and they've been close ever since xiao had just finished highschool. childe is the gay stepdad while aether is the chaotic cousin /j

a/n; WAHHHASDKASJKD XIAO INVITED Y/N TO HIS HOUSE OMFG AAAAAAAAA ok sorry back 2 my a/n,,, sorry for the super long wait in between chapters! i had some 'technical difficulties' w my phone & also i have writer's block JKDJSK sobs,,, but anyways this chapter is super cute and omg i am So Excited for the next chapter screams loudly HAHA anyways i hope you enjoyed this chapter my loves !! now bye byeeee <3

taglist (open); @noirkkat @bookuya @ohmykazuha @glazelilyy @oreoz-unfortunately @tiny-aroace @xiaophobic @test-tube @yanphobics @storytravelled @mirikusashes @ben6ett @oliviasslut @velionqs @bluexiao @lunachelly @aelatus @mimion @akiiyukii @angelhxneyy @give-xiao-almond-tofu @abyssheart @xuanya @normalisthenewnorm @viagiraffe @fuhuashandholder @astersg4rden @dilucbar @eternism @nachotrash @childe-support @kinekyuroo @axerrri @albedos-apprentice @kait-is-always-late @hushyouu @celestair @rim0na @indecisivehusky @nurserinnn @ariesreii @saving-for-xiao @hellokittykuroo @auradragon199 @xiaoszn @ayaka-wrld @almondto-fu

usernames in bold could not be tagged :(

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