#(AND THEN EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT IT AND I'VE BEEN SUFFERING EVER SINCE!!!!!)

[chaosduckies]

Sleeping With Sirens (1)

Decided to a little Mer AU with Kieran and Devon because I could NOT stop thinking about how cute they would be if they lived in the ocean- Safe to say that I've been having a little too much fun thinking up scenarios-

Word Count: 4.2k

CW: Talks of death, starvation, depictions of vore (barely mentioned), blood, mentions of being eaten alive

The ocean is a dangerous place for everyone. No matter if you were huge like the leviathans that lived in the trenches fighting for territory or a guppy like me that had to swim away from fish that could easily find a snail or something to eat. The ocean was just another deadly hunting ground. 

The water today was nice, though that didn’t mean that it was going to be peaceful. The ocean was known as one of the most ruthless places despite its beauty. I’ve learned that the hard way. Everywhere I went there seemed to be predators just waiting for a snack. To be honest, I wouldn’t even qualify as such. Even when I thought I could just rest for the night there was just another fish or animal there that drove me out. One time I even stayed with another mer, but they didn’t let me stay for long. Such is the way life is here. I wasn’t part of a pod anymore so it was a million times harder to find a place to live. 

My parents and I were separated when our previous home was taken over by another pod of mers. So when that happened we swam and eventually ran into several predators and couldn’t keep up with one another. Especially me since I was a runt even though I had no siblings. Smaller than mers my size, my only fight or flight plan was to swim away at any inconvenience, not to mention how hard it was to find food. Where I used to live there were plenty of edible plants. But they seemed so scarce in whatever direction I would hopefully find my parents. If they were still alive. I kept reminding myself that if I was somehow alive on my own then they were definitely alive, but some part of me doubted that was true with all the events and misfortunes that have happened. 

It’s been about three days of non-stop swimming. I was tired, hungry, and to be honest a small part of me wished that a predator would end my suffering. Maybe I would be reunited with my parents? That was crazy talk! If I live then I can see them. There was no way they were dead. I’d see them again for sure. That's what I kept telling myself at least. The only thing keeping me from just letting a predator eat me at this point if I were being honest. 

I swam past the endless fields of seaweed and sand, the waves above calm and the sun right above. It was nice and warm, there didn’t seem to be any other fish or animals here other than the half-dead coral and kelp that were soon to be dead here in just a few months. Maybe even years. Strange to realize that this place was just going to become another barren wasteland with no food. For now, there were just barely enough anacharis plants for me to eat before I would reach another coral reef. Hopefully that would be where I could find my parents intact and well, alive. 

Soon enough the sun was just barely over the horizon now, the water above reflecting the orange and pinkish sky. I was so worried about getting to the other coral reef that I had hoped was across that I forgot to look for a place to rest for the night. Thankfully I didn’t run into anything today but digging into the sand and just hoping a predator wouldn’t notice me was wishful thinking. I knew at night was when all the hungry animals came out. Especially in wastelands like these. Sharks were definitely around this area, including other mers that probably wouldn’t hesitate to scoop me right out of my hiding spot to mess around with me. Such are the cruel ways of those who thrived on people weaker than they were. I shuddered at the last time we ran into a mer. One that resembled a shark. I don’t think I’d ever get the image out of my head. 

I pushed aside those thoughts and decided that hiding myself under the sand was better than nothing. Even if it might make me even more vulnerable than taking the time to find a rock to hide under or a piece of coral that wasn’t so dead that would hide me. 

The sand was nice and warm despite the slight temperature change in the water. For some odd reason digging in the sand was more of a comfort to me than a survival instinct. My mom used to think it was silly of me to but now that I was alone and struggling for survival it was actually pretty useful in some situations. Not to mention cozy when I wasn’t worried about being left out in the open, extremely vulnerable. 

It was peaceful throughout the night for a while. At some point, the worry and anxiousness that was keeping me from closing my eyes and resting went away so I could at least get a little bit of rest. There wasn’t a sound around me except for the very few plants that grew here rubbing against each other. When I woke up in the middle of the night, there was an eerie silence that seemed to fall onto the ocean around me. I yawned, just barely pushing some part of the sand off of me and peeked my head out to see if the waves were just calm right now. Even though it was dark I could still kind of see around me. The seaweed fields that I swam through nearly all day just in the distance. 

It did seem kind of calm though. The waves just barely moved anything right now, but then my eyes landed on a bright light that seemed to fade and flash just in the distance. I ducked my head even though I knew I was far enough that they would see me unless they came closer. A light? Another mer? It didn’t come as a huge surprise, but what could another mer be looking for here? There was practically nothing. It was just a barren wasteland. Unless they were just passing by. Either way, I hid from the light that faded away into the field of kelp and seaweed, letting out a tiny huff of relief and buried myself back under the sand. Just overreacted was all. No need to worry about something that wasn’t going to bother me. At least for now. They might’ve headed in the opposite direction I was going but there was no telling if this was just a barren hunting ground of theirs. 

I buried myself back into the sand, making sure I was entirely covered before resting my head once again, closing my eyes, mindful of my surroundings and being just a little more alert. If that mer, or whatever was here, found me, there was no way I would have survived. I shuddered slightly at the thought of being handled like some toy or eaten alive, but quickly shoved the thoughts away as sleep took hold of me once again. 

——————

When I woke up, it was still a little bit dark, but I knew that it was morning. I pushed some sand out of the way to look up at the reflection, seeing the silhouette of dark storm clouds and flashes of bright light above. Of course yesterday was too good to be true so it had to storm the next day. Meaning more predators would be out. I didn’t trust being in the sand any longer than I already had to hide in it, so I dug myself out and started to slowly swim out, noting the currents that were a little more harsh today than normal. 

Despite the storm above, I continued on. Storms only affected the surface and not so much the water, but sometimes the waves above messed with the currents down here. Especially when the trenches were only a tiny swim away that affected how they would suck you into the deep, dark ocean water where you can’t even see your arms out in front of your face without light. The only creatures that could live down there were very few fish and the true monsters of the ocean. Leviathans. Sure there were krakens who were only terrifying to any sailors who threatened them and their place of living, but they would never harm anything or anyone unless provoked first. With leviathans? The stories I’ve heard about them are ruthless. If you even so much as swim a little bit into their territory they’ll kill you. Not only were they much bigger than shark mers, but they were extremely threatening. I’ve never seen one but my parents would always tell me horror stories that they’d think of the most horrific ways to kill you before finally eating you. Not that I’d qualify as a sample snack to one in the least. 

The uneasiness I set upon myself didn’t sit right in my stomach as I eyed the hole that stretched from left to right with no end to it in sight. There were a few plants and coral that grew along the edges, but not much. My heart pounded in my chest as I stared out at the large hole, my breath trembling at how much open space I’d have to swim across. Just in plain sight. Above a hole that was home to the most deadliest creatures that lived in the ocean. That could snatch me up without so much as using a muscle. 

I swallowed, hard, before taking a few minutes to debate my decision. Would my parents really be on the other side? What if they weren’t there and I was just crossing the chasm only to die in the end? What if they weren’t on the other side? What if I cross it and live, but they were always on this side just waiting for me and I’d never know? Thoughts circled my head, but I decided that I could take a break for today. Maybe they were close and I wouldn’t have to cross one of the deadly trenches that wreaked death. 

So instead of crossing what could very well be the end of me, I decided to just find some extra food around the place. Better to be prepared than to travel all this way and starve to death in the end. 

As I swam through the water gathering up the scarce edible plants that were here, I noticed a similar light from last night. Only it was just more dim. I paused in place, gliding down to the sand below and watched the faint light move around as if searching for something. The apparent mer swam closer checking every small place. On instinct, I dropped everything and swam away. If they were searching all the small spots I couldn’t just hide under a rock or something they’d find me. In such a panic I didn’t stop swimming until a flash of lightning flickered above and nearly scared me into thinking that the mer caught up to me somehow without me hearing them. Thunder roared so loud above that you could hear it from the floor of the ocean, and that only made this situation even more alarming. 

The mer that used to be behind me was no longer in sight when I turned back around. A sigh of relief escaped my mouth as I stared at my empty hands and cursed myself for dropping everything I had picked earlier, feeling my stomach growl quietly. Maybe after this mer goes away I’d have the courage to go back out and look for food. I knew it was too good to be true that there were barely any predators around here. Or maybe it was just the storm that kept them out. 

Even with thinking that the other mer wouldn’t come here, I was entirely wrong. It didn’t take them long to come back into view, and this time they seemed to be a little faster. Like they knew something was here. Maybe another mer like me. My breath hitched in my throat as I found a rock and hid under the bottom of it, burying myself in the sand for extra cover. Not that it would help much. But even if I swam away again they’d just come back. It seemed like they were keen on finding whatever it was they were looking for. I was just praying it wasn’t me somehow. 

I peeked my head out every so often, and then I knew that it was time to hide when a large shadow loomed overhead. It turned dark for a second as I heard moving. The mer cursed at himself like he was angry, their voice harsh and mean. Then, from the small hole that the rock I was under provided, my eyes widened. This wasn’t a mer at all. A leviathan. Their long tail dimly glowed, several scar marks on them too that seemed to just barely be healing. I was probably only a little taller than their fingers. I held a hand over my mouth to keep from letting out a noise as they searched around the area. There was no way they’d find me, right? I wasn’t going to die today. I couldn’t. If they flipped it over I could just swim away and hopefully lose them. Sure I wasn’t the fastest swimmer but I was not about to die just like this. Not a snack to an extremely terrifying… scary…. Leviathan. 

My eyes watched them carefully, holding my breath as they swam closer. Everything would be okay! They would see that I’m not here and then move on! Yeah! Or at least that's what I told myself. Which was the exact opposite of what happened. 

It all happened so fast. One second I was hiding and the next the rock I was hiding was flipped over effortlessly and I was exposed. Before the leviathan could react, I wiggled myself out of the sand and swam as fast as I could away from them. It felt like I had been swimming for hours, but in just a few seconds I was caught up to, their shadow catching up to me fast. My heart pounded in my chest as I continued swimming, looking for a way to get out. 

That’s when I spotted the trench. It was entirely risky. But this leviathan was a lot bigger than me. They would get noticed first before me. Maybe for once in my life I’d be right about this. Otherwise I’d be making a huge mistake and inevitably my entire life would end right there because of another one of my many mistakes. Though, if it does work there was just a sliver of a chance of surviving than just letting myself get eaten. I shuddered at the thought before quickly swimming down into the dark abyss. 

“Oh you little-” I yelped when I heard a growl behind me, pushing myself to swim faster so they wouldn’t catch me. Oh please work. Don’t notice me. Whatever lives down here please don’t notice me. I turned my head slightly, seeing the leviathan swimming fast and reaching out, but their tail was still lit up. A dim blue light that I had hoped some other leviathan or predator that lived down here would see other than me. How could they even see in this dark? I could barely see my own arms in front of me. 

I yelped when something gripped around me harshly. Pressure on my sides that felt like it was crushing my ribs. I couldn’t even breathe anymore as I stared at the two pairs of blue eyes glued to me. Pupils slit as the leviathan held me up to their face. 

“Usually I’d play around for a bit. But since you’ve made me come all the way back down here…” They growled and opened their mouth, sharp fangs that were waiting to tear me apart. I whimpered, pushing at the fingers that kept me trapped but it was useless at this point. I was going to die. There was nothing down here. It was just my luck to think that there was some other dangerous predator and there actually wasn’t. I was scared for no reason. There was nothing here and now I was going to die. 

Tears pricked my eyes as I continued to fight back against the fingers, almost about to get eaten alive. “Nononono-” I leaned back away from the fangs, shutting my eyes tightly and getting ready to face the immense pain waiting for me. 

And that’s when it all stopped. I was waiting for the pain, but when nothing came I looked back up, eyes widening at another light emitting. A little brighter than the one that was coming from the leviathan that was about to eat me. 

The leviathan holding me quickly turned around frantically, glancing at me and growling like I was the one who was doing this. Maybe I was the one who brought him down here, but not the one who was currently circling us. I tried pushing at their fingers again to try and get out before whatever the heck was here decided it was going to eat me too.

Soon enough the light disappeared completely, and then there were two more pairs of eyes that stared at the one holding me. Another leviathan. A much bigger one. Maybe I shouldn’t have come down here. My body trembled and shook, more so than when I was caught the first time. We’re both dead. What was I thinking! I didn’t take into account if I was caught. The realization of death was settling in deep. Like I said before. The ocean was a ruthless place. No mercy. Even if you were just trying to reunite with your family again. It was hopeless to even have had the thought. 

There was a low growl before their pupils slit like they felt threatened. We were in their territory now. This was technically my choice, but in my head I played it out as I swam down, another leviathan would come and chase after the other, and I could swim back up and everything would be back to somewhat normal. This was not at all part of it. And now, I was dead. Absolutely no doubt about it. Even if the other leviathan was chased off, who was to say that this bigger, more terrifying one wasn’t going to kill me or use me as some toy like I know other mers do? 

“Okay! I’ll leave! Just don’t hurt me!” The other leviathan screamed for practical mercy, letting me go, the current from when they swam off pushing me back. Their light disappeared, the other leviathan that was currently moving again, the light from their tail moving towards the other mer, but not any further, and soon it was dark again. I whimpered, holding my arms close to my chest and keeping myself afloat as I looked around, searching for any recognition of a wall or just wherever this other leviathan was. Just… something to tell me how to get out of here without dying. 

It was so eerily quiet that I heard my own heartbeat ring through my ears. I took shallow breaths and kept myself close. I knew they were still in here. Quiet and observing me. I could feel their eyes on me even. As soon as I heard a noise, I bolted up, reaching to get out of the trench. For a second I thought that I would’ve made it. There was nothing following me, and the other leviathan was gone now, right? I smiled to myself, happy that I was going to survive. Though, it didn’t sit right with me how the other just left me alone. They had noticed me for sure, but why not do anything other than drive the other one off? 

I was too concentrated on my thoughts to notice the same leviathan that was driven off coming straight for me again, only this time a hand shot out in front of me, another cupping around me as there was another growl, a scream, “Should’ve run away.” Their voice sounded so threatening, but I was in too much shock to even grasp what was happening. One moment I was listening to the other leviathan plead for their life, and the next I was scooped up and watched as they swam away, clutching their stomach. 

I trembled and shook, trying to guess where they were taking me but I had no idea. My vision was blurry from the fast movement, and the next thing I knew I was back on the ocean floor. I took a second to catch my breath, my vision coming back to me and grateful that I could see my surroundings again. The storm above was letting up, and there didn’t seem to be anything in sight. Other than the huge leviathan that was still watching me of course. 

I quickly turned around, my heart skipping a beat as I stared back at purple eyes. Their pupils rounded out like he was fascinated by me. This leviathan had what looked like a tie around their neck, multiple pieces of metal that stuck through their ears, and even some parts torn off. There were only a few scars on his face, but that was more than what I had. 

He let out a sigh, squinting up and getting used to how light it was up here. If I lived up in the trenches then I would’ve hated coming up. Except, this was the least of my worries as I clenched a fistful of sand in my fists as I stared at what could possibly be my death. Even if they saved me they could’ve done it just to keep me for themselves. I was never going to see my parents. 

“What’s a guppy like you doing all the way out here?” They asked, voice quiet but also a hint of harshness to it. I flinched, inching away but they didn’t seem to care that much. Both pairs of eyes were set on me, but all four looked tired with bags under their eyes. They used their arms as a pillow and leaned over the edge where the dive into his home was. 

I opened my mouth to speak, to at least try to answer, “Trying t-to find my p-parents.” I choked on the last few words but at least managed to get them out. Do I owe him a thank you for saving me? Probably. There was no way I was going to be on his bad side. I was maybe the size of one of his fangs, maybe slightly smaller. I wasn’t risking anything in the slightest bit. 

The leviathan hummed to himself before letting out a huff through his nose, “They’re not here.” My heart raced at the thought. Does he actually know or was he just telling me that so I would get out of his territory? Why not just kill me if he wanted that though? 

“Thank y-you.” I stuttered, forcing myself to swim back even though I was scared that he’d just reach out and take me back down. 

His eyes widened, shock on his face for a few seconds before scoffing and turning his head, “Don’t be stupid next time.” 

I jumped at the comeback, rubbing my arms together. Yeah. That was definitely something I could work on. Especially the false hope that my parents were still alive. I sighed to myself and cautiously started swimming away before I heard movement behind me and stopped, eyes wide as the leviathan lifted himself up. 

“I think I might know where to look,” He sighed heavily like he was already regretting this decision, “Follow.” He swam up and my breath hitched in my throat. They were a lot bigger than I initially thought. I swallowed before they stopped and nudged their head forward like they were waiting for me, their second pair of arms gesturing to follow him. I shook my head and forced myself to swim up. They didn’t start until I was right by their hand, cupping behind me. He rolled his eyes but kept watching me from the corner of his eyes. 

This was the strangest thing that has ever happened to me. Leviathans were killers, and sure my first encounter with one wanted nothing but to eat me alive, but now? Still wasn’t sure if they were going to eat me alive, leading me to my doom, or genuinely helping me. This one was probably the biggest thing that lived in the ocean and yet, he was helping me. I think. I had hoped at least. 

“U-um. Why a-are you h-helping me?” I squeaked out embarrassingly. They looked down, “Better to get a guppy like you out of here than to leave you here to die.” I flinched at their response but continued swimming either way, heading in a direction where sharks roamed. A ship graveyard. I swallowed hard, hoping that he was going to feed me to them. The thought of reuniting with my parents gave me enough courage to at least trust him enough to travel with them. If I wasn’t so full of adrenaline I would’ve been freaking out and tried to hide and run away at this point. There was only one way to find out if the ocean was at cruel and ruthless as I thought.

——————

okay it’s a slow start and tbh I didn’t really know what to do but it’s just going to be a bunch of cute scenes plus angst and fearplay because why not.

Not my best I know but I promise the next chapter (it’s halfway done already) has tons of fearplay and will be so MUCH better-

Taglist: @da3dm @dav8530

If you would like to be added or removed please let me know!

[just-thoughts-no-vibes]

I feel like I am always complaining when talking about One Piece fandom but it's rough out here… For years I've been in my little bubble where we all loved Nami and understood her character. It's been so long since I interacted with anyone having a strong negative opinion of her that I genuinely forgot that some people hate her. I was just trying to find a specific episode when I stumbled upon a fucking Quora discussion about Nami hitting Straw Hats and couldn't believe we are still on it… I get not liking a gag, but taking it that seriously that you genuinely believe she is the worst character is insane. Can't believe that in the big year of 2024 there are people who think that Nami is the most selfish member of the crew and that the reason is a fucking gag. Yes, the joke is shit, but it's so obvious that people don't have a problem with that. Every response to the original question wasn't about stopping the gag, but insisting that man should return the energy and harm her. It reeked of people wanting violence against women it got me sick. And this is not the first time I saw this convo specifically about Nami. When I just got into the show, I saw so many people wanting her dead, beaten, and whatnot. So yeah, stop pretending you have an issue with it, we all know what's going on.

Also, you people know that Nami can't harm Luffy, right? You know that because of his Devil Fruit normal physical attacks don't work on him? Like, that's why it's a gag… It doesn't affect anyone. None of them has ever suffered any consequences of Nami's beating. Every time she beats them, it is never permanent. They never had bruises, any injuries, bleeding, swelling, etc. Why? Because it only happens in a comedy frame and disappears in the next one, when the joke is over. Like I don't even like this trope and I find it annoying but this is just common sense. Just because Sanji's gag got out of control, doesn't mean that same happened to Nami or anyone else. And let's be real, she only beats them when they deserve it. Like you don't see her attacking anyone but two perverts who are harassing her and every other girl whenever they get the chance, and Luffy and Zoro (honestly I don't remember the last time she hit him) when their stupidity puts everyone in danger. Another fun fact, every Straw Hat except for Robin has beaten Luffy for comic relief when he was being an idiot. Nami is not alone there.

[beyourownanchor6]

20 questions for fic writers ✍️

Tagged by my dear @spotsandsocks 🩵

How many works do you have on ao3?

249!

What’s your total ao3 word count?

1,588,699 ummm guess i really never can stfu 😅

What fandoms do you write for?

mostly 9-1-1, but also teen wolf. debating another but we shall see..

Top five fics by kudos

if i lay here, would you lie with me (forget the world) (over 3k kudos 🥲)

nobody can do everything

i want to love you (but i don't know how)

five + one (istg i'm gonna come up with a title for this so i don't have to see this embarrassment of one anymore 💀)

if i asked you to stay, would you?

Do you respond to comments?

always! i appreciate people taking the time to leave them <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

—uhh either of these since they're both mcd ooop 🫣

dancing after death (you and i)

come back home (version 2)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

—mm i'll go with chris doesn't come back au since it was full of angst and everyone suffered 😂

wake me up (i'm drowning)

Do you get hate on fics?

no just annoying/unnecessary comments sometimes 🙃

Do you write smut?

i may have written a few....

the slutty suit (i think this one's self explanatory 😏)

upstairs/downstairs (pwp on a rainy day in the fire station)

i'll let you fire my hose if you merry my christmas (author!buck writes pwp x amatuer model eddie for his book covers)

beautiful drama series (buddie meet on a dating app and start up fwb)

Craziest crossover:

uhh, well there's my step up au: let me lose myself

or there's my divergent au: crossfire

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of...

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't think so. someone asked once, but not sure what ever happened with that

Have you ever co-written a fic?

yep, with my wife @loserdiaz 🫶🏻 (i think i know what our next one shall be 👀)

—no body, no crime

—this is my idea of fun (playing video games)

—i don't want to keep secrets just to keep you

All time favorite ship?

buddie ofc 😌

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

—uhhh probably the buddie fwb buck 1.0.2 that i started, deleted, but still have the notes for....rawie look away

What are your writing strengths?

keeping them in character and metaphors, according to my lovely readers 🥰

What are your writing weaknesses?

keeping things short 😭 (idk i could make a whole list but don't feel like tearing myself apart atm lmao)

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

—to each their own

First fandom you ever wrote in?

teen wolf!

Favorite fic you’ve written?

i hate picking between my children 😭

i'm gonna go with duck buck, just bc i've been thinking about her lately 🐥 (and i'm sure y'all are tired of hearing about my favorite one 😂)

the ducking of evan buckley

—so i definitely forgot this was in my drafts hfurnj. if you’ve already done this just ignore me <3 tagging: @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @redlightsandicedtea @honestlydarkprincess @bi-buckrights @onward--upward @elvensorceress @daffi-990 @wikiangela @hippolotamus @wildlife4life @eddiebabygirldiaz @confetti-cupcake @queerdiaz @jackluvsdaniel @ronordmann @spaceprincessem @underwaterninja13

[dnalt-d2]

My Predictions for Who (If Anyone) May be Corrupted Next

I'M BACK ALREADY YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME FOR LONG!!!!

So yeah, we’ve got Corrupted Forever now. That’s fun

What’s more fun is how this happened, and what this means for other people

Because Forever might have been the one most at risk to corruption due to his extended time in the Nether, but he is far from the only one vulnerable to this

Here’s who I know of to be at risk, in order of most likely to least likely

Fit, Phil (Kinda), Etoiles, Bagi, and Pac

Because like I pointed out earlier today, Fit and Phil cleaned up a huge amount of the concrete left around the server, with QSMP Updates even commenting (specifically in regards to Fit) that “That surely won’t have consequences, right?” Or something along those lines I don’t have the patience to look it up because Twitter is a hot mess in that regard

That, and his Rebellion work, is why I think Fit is currently most at-risk. Because in addition to the Black Concrete Cleanup he and Phil did, he also went to investigate the Black Concrete Dungeon to find traces of one of the Codes. So unfortunately, I think if anyone else is gonna succumb to corruption, it might be Fit. (AND PHIL WILL SUFFER DAMMIT)

After that we have Etoiles, who has been doing various work for the Rebellion that has semi-frequently led him to be exposed to Black Concrete, but to my knowledge, he hasn’t had as much direct contact with it aside from the Code Explosion and the time he, Fit, and Bagi investigated the Code together. Not to mention that he’s already Code-Corrupted kind of, and it’d be a little strange for him to have two separate infections/corruptions

And of course there’s Bagi, who had also investigated that Black Concrete Dungeon, but this is basically the only time Bagi had any extended contact with the Concrete aside from day-to-day stuff that everyone had

Pac of course, was in the Nether for a bit, having been led there by Walter Bob, but it doesn’t look like there’s been any effect on him that we can tell, since he wasn’t there as long as Forever was. I’m just adding him to the list because he was in fact in the Nether at one point (There's also the fact that right now he's probably gonna have his hands full with Mike, if anything comes from that)

Now, I did put Phil on the list, but he’s a bit of a special case here. Because while he DID help clean up the Concrete, leading to him having a lot of direct contact, he wasn’t the one that QSMP Updates called out. Not only that, but we now have Rose possibly helping him, which means he may not get corrupted because of her influence and protection. (It’s not surefire though, so that’s why he’s still on the list, and pretty high on it at that. I think I might have more thoughts on this later though because I’ve got an idea for some good angst potential here specifically)

So yeah, that's who I think could possibly be corrupted. Fit is definitely the highest on the list

(AND APPARENTLY SOMEONE REBLOGGED MY FIRST POST TALKING ABOUT THIS WITH THIS IN THE TAGS SO HEY THAT’S A GOOD OMEN IF EVER I'VE SEEN ONE)

In short, lots to look forward to :)

*Edit because I forgot to mention that FIT IS DOING A SATURDAY STREAM TOO BTW. That ISN'T TOO NORMAL FOR HIM and is raising ZERO RED FLAGS

[destinygoldenstar]

Send this to anyone who has never seen TADC (Out of Context Lines)

"They'll get totally spoiled!"

"Why are you like this?"

"Any torment I inflict is one hundred percent accidental! Like any good war criminal!"

"Does this count as a bus?"

"Wow, that's just about as dumb as my name."

"We have a suggestion box?" "Basically no."

"What happened?!" "I just remembered a really funny joke!" "Why did you scream then?" "Maybe it wasn't actually that funny..." "Oh my god..."

"Come on ladies, let's go harass the clown."

"Everyone alright?" "Can you repeat the question? I couldn't hear you over the knives."

"Well I don't know what's normal to you people!"

"Oh god, that just sounds like murder." "Is it really murder if it's delicious?"

"Now what the heck happened around here? Oh yeah, my doing!"

"My mind is a beeswax polished coconut!"

"Oh no! It looks like I've taken Ragatha, and dropped her in the deep frier!"

"Oh look! Now she's turning blue!" "She was already blue."

"This is dumb and weird."

"I'm not a child, you don't have to hype me up."

"It's called a manic episode, and you're getting three more seasons! Hahahahaha-anyway-"

"Alright Pomni, just stay like that and I'll cross over you."

"What are ya thinking?" "I don't care-"

"Please don't come alive..." "Okay I won't."

"Excuse me? Yeah, little jester? I'd like to order the stupid burger!"

"I feel like that violates some kind of convention."

"Wow, this is some rather inconvenient lore placement."

"Do it, or I'll tell Ragatha about the figuring thing."

"You guys have a second truck that flies?" "Yeah! Oh wait, no, no we don't, not at all."

"Drown yourself in the digital lake!"

"I forgot to ask for a kids meal toy!" "But you're not a kid." "Oh yeah! An adult toy then." "I don't know about that one mate."

"You're probably not even listening." "Zooble, look at this cool bee I drew!"

"You're all good!" "...huh?"

"Why are we here again? What are we doing?"

"I wish someone would flirt with me..."

"Boss! Where've you been? We got fudged!"

"If anyone needs me, than f%#k off."

"What do you think of XDDCC?" "I don't-" "You're right, terrible, let's try that again!"

"Did someone say something about an insect collection?"

"And Zooble turns straight." "My limbs straighten up-f#%k off."

"And it's cool to have dreams! But you also need to remember that they're completely unrealistic, and you need to stop trying!"

"Sounds *CENSORED*." "Bubble you can't say that..."

"What time period is this supposed to be again?"

"Oh look there's Zooble! Hi Zooble!" "Help me you idiots!"

"You now, I'm starting to think."

"Are you smiling?" "Uh, no?" "Why not?"

"Welp, I'm gonna go drink water! It's been awhile since I've done that!"

"This is the void!"

"Hundreds of all seeing eyes on you!"

"Oh no, they killed Zooble. Anyway, you guys wanna get something to eat?"

"Not even I know what's out there."

"Made with all the love I'm legally allowed to carry."

"There's a fly in here!" "Don't you think that's making a lot of-oh god there is a fly."

"That was more info on Gloink reproduction than I ever needed to know..."

"You didn't experience a game show in there, did you?" "What are you talking about?"

"I can't hold it any longer."

"It's probably just magnets. Or a boat." "A boat?" "Whatever the case."

"I'm surprised you remember that." "Remember what?"

"Huffing paint? And not waiting till a designated break?"

"You! Do you like adventure? Activity? Wonder? Danger? Horror? Pain? Suffering? Death? Disease? Death? Angel food cake?"

"Ooh, violence!"

"Aren't you supposed to be submissive and agreeable? Move it!"

"No thanks, I'm trying to quit."

"Get out of here before the moon gets frisky!"

"Oh Bubble, you always know how to make me say this exact sentence."

"We're one tanker away from being Augustus Glooped!"

"Oh wait, you mean me grabbing you right now? Yeah, that was me."

"Hurt nothing! I'm hurt enough! Packages landing on my head, tea parties, dancing lessons..."

"It appears you seem to have cut your own shift short, went a little kooky, and ran out into upcoming traffic."

"What did any of that mean?"

[the-mcyt-crackships-brackets]

[clears throat] anyone order clownscar fic propaganda? no? too bad. clownscar fic propaganda.

"so. i've been thinking."

"never a good sign," loony says without looking up from the redstone he's working on -- he doesn't need to look up to know it's clownpierce again, because not only does he recognize the man's voice but he also only ever ends up with one man invading his hardcore world. "what trouble are you getting yourself into this time?"

"i've been thinkin' about branzy," clown starts, and loony lets out a long-suffering sigh. "dude," he says, "you just need to call him, not-"

"-and i've decided i need to get him to call me by making him jealous. it's been too long since i've put myself out there, you know? i should be showing that i'm not only available but also a catch, so he realizes how much he misses me."

"you're a menace," loony says in a complete deadpan. "and also insane -- are you hearing yourself talk right now? call him."

"so what i'm thinking is," clown says, breezing right past loony's very good advice, "the ideal rebound has gotta be some guy from one of those toxic codependency deathgame duos, right? everyone loves them, they always have great thematic significance or whatever the hell, and they'll be good enough at pvp to hold their own but bad enough that i could take them in a fight, easy. that? that's some trophy boyfriend material right there."

"i'm not hooking you up with legs, dude."

"who?" clown looks genuinely confused for a second, and then shakes his head and moves on. "no, man, i already have a date lined up. he seems like a great guy. he's a builder, he even likes running scams, he's famous for the deathgame thing."

loony sighs again, though it's more at his malfunctioning redstone than out of actually caring what clown is saying. "what poor man are you dragging into your nonsense rebound scheme this time?"

"his name is goodtimeswithscar," clownpierce says proudly. "he's a terraformer."

...loony blinks. "come again?"

"you heard me. i have a date lined up with scar, like from that whole desert duet thing everyone was going wild about a couple years ago?"

it actually takes loony several seconds to realize the reason his chest hurts is because he's laughing so hard he can't breathe. "you? you're going on a date with scar? you are boned, clown! there is not a snowball's chance in the nether that is ever going to work out!"

clown crosses his arms. "listen, you don't have to get salty with me just because i pulled a hermit."

"oh, yeah, i'm salty, sure." loony tries and fails to wipe the tears from his eyes. "dude, i'm just saying, i'm pretty sure only one of you eats people, and in my experience that's usually a dealbreaker?"

"being a killer clown doesn't make me a cannibal, loony," clown huffs.

thunder rumbles in the distance, and loony perks up his head at the sound of rain. "oh, wow, would you look at that, it's storming! guess i'd better go collect some more mob heads before it passes." he sweeps the rest of his redstone supplies into a shulker hastily, swapping into his elytra and grabbing a few rockets. "good luck on your date or whatever!"

"loony, i do not eat people-" clown starts.

"-yeah definitely what i was talking about good luck on your date bye!" loony yells from the skies, having already taken off for his guardian farm.

.......................

two weeks later, clownpierce is back in the redstone lab, looking very huffy and somewhat like a wild animal has gotten to his clothes.

loony grins at him. "how'd it go?"

clown crosses his arms. "you forgot to warn me about the convex on purpose."

loony snorts. "i did say only one of you eats people. it's not my fault you're self-centered enough to think i was talking about you."

"yeah, yeah, you worded that misleadingly on purpose and we both know it. and you call me a menace."

"i do, because you keep breaking into my hardcore world with insane rebound ideas instead of just calling branzy. speaking of which, now are you going to give up on your weird schemes and just text him?"

clown grins, arms still crossed. "nah. we're going on a second date tonight."

"you are a lost cause, dude."

yeah. anyway vote clownscar.

CLOWNSCAR FIC PROPAGANDA!!!!!

[zurajanaizurakoda]

Which EP that make your into ginzura ?!

I know who you are, and you know you don't want to hear this. There wasn't any episode, I first watched the series almost ten years ago and distanced myself from it because it was making me physically sick worrying about characters. I remember looking for Ginzura and not finding anything but not being particularly attached to it. Like I didn't really see g*nhiji so I figured Ginzura had at least as much reason?

I thought the most interesting relationship was between Gin and Kagura (NOT sexually or romantically, I was just fascinated by them.

When I saw that the series was all on Crunchyroll (as far as I knew except the love potion arc which I wasn't a fan of in the manga so I decided to watch the series and see how it ended. Got obsessed again. It seems like I latched on to Katsura more that time, although I remember liking him the first time through. Finally I decided to find the second movie, which I remembered liking. I was enjoying it, and then it got to the scene on the balcony where Katsura talks about the last time he saw Gin, and I was fucking run over by a 50-ton freight train of feelings. I've never had a ship hit that fast. When he started choking up it was suddenly clear that the outfit wasn't a popularity joke, Katsura was literally shattered by losing Gin. He'd lost his entire family and his Sensei and his cause and everything he'd ever cared about and he'd persisted, but losing Gin broke him. And it struck me just how miserable he was in the movie, and how no one seemed to care. Kagura flatly states that he went insane because Gin disappeared, and they go back to talking about everything else like that wasn't important. Gin makes a half joke about murdering him and goes back to worrying about Gengai. This is runaway Kotarou, his literal claim to fame is running away. He escapes all the time, even from the inescapable prison, even when he was a screwdriver. And he just sat there and let the execution happen because he was so broken down. And of course, Kagura says he talked about destroying the world, but all he talks about, both with Kondo and Gin, is how much he wants to help the world. He hates the world but he just wants to help, so badly. And he was breaking down and Gin saw the Blight guy and left Katsura and probably forgot him as soon as he was out of sight. Then during the final battle, Katsura makes the long, impassioned speech about how every single one of them is there to support Gin. If Gin hears the speech, he literally does not react at all. I wondered if this was the Katsura who had mourned Gin for ten years. Everyone else forgot Gin, but for Katsura he lost his best friend and suffered for it for a decade. Here he is finally able to do something for the person he cares about more than everything. And again, how happy would he be if Gin just took a second to acknowledge him?

And it's been the same ever since. His introduction is based on how much he values Gin, how he was willing to dirty his hands to get him back. But he accepts Gin's decision, even if he doesn't like it, and he tries to influence Gin but he never endangers him again. His next major appearance, he says the Harusame is too big for his entire organization, but when Gin says he's going, Katsura goes with him without hesitation "I'm your left hand" isn't just an idle term, he makes an enemy he's already stated he doesn't think he can defeat if it will help Gin. In Benizakura he tells Takasugi he rearranged his core beliefs based on how strong he sees Gin as. I could keep going. The constant standbys. Wanting to be in the Cartesian Arc., In the soul-switch arc he literally is willing to fight for Hijikata because Hijikata in Gin's body took him seriously and offered him a job. When he saved Gin from Nobunobu (Which again, Gin literally never acknowledges, Katsura spends most of his time talking about Gin and Gin spends the whole time playing support for Hijikata. Katsura gets his rawest line in the series, about how when you're near death you just want to be with people you care about. This reframes his asking Gin to commit seppuku with him. When he lost all hope, his one wish was to be near Gintoki when he died. Meanwhile, in the Farewell Shinsengumi arc, he doesn't get to see Gin. It doesn't even appear that Gin bothered to talk to him about Utsuro until Matako and Nobume bring it up. Gin literally fucking renamed him and it changed how his friends treated him for the rest of his life. When he stayed in the ship in The Very Final. I don't see much Ginzura in the series, but if Katsura isn't in love with Gintoki it's still obvious that a good chunk of his sanity revolves around his relationship with Gin. I truly believe there's more support for his romantic feelings for Gin than his romantic feelings for Ikumatsu, and I truly believe he cares about her and I can even see them ending up together but you cannot possibly convince me that their main bond is based around his understanding how hard it is to lose the one you love to the cause. And every time I see Katsura I want to throw a supportive Gin at him, even for a minute, even for a single panel, and it never happens. So I write.

Obviously this is all my opinion. If you really want to discuss it that's fine, but if you just want to tell me how wrong I am I'm aware my opinions are very different from most of the fandom. When I say you can't convince me it's because I'm stubborn as fuck and I suffer from cognitive rigidity, not because I think I'm the smartest person on the internet. Just assume you're right

[sophieinwonderland]

Untangling Family History

After vaguely mentioning that my host's grandmother had DID, I thought I should go into this a bit more. It was a "discovery," that I've been meaning to discuss for a while.

I say "discovery" because my host heard this a long time before I existed, filed it away as not important, and forgot all about it came up in a conversation with his mother.

Before I came along, my host "knew" a lot about DID from movies and hearsay. And all of it was wrong. Never base your knowledge of a subject on media.

Among these wrong beliefs, it was assumed every alter had complete amnesia from the others, they all would publicly go by different names to make them easy to identify, and switches would be super obvious to outside observers.

Again, none of that is true.

But it did mean that when my host's mom told him in the past that his grandma had multiple personalities (because that's what everyone in the house knew the disorder as until well after my host was an adult,) 20+ years prior, he was skeptical since it didn't meet his bad understanding of the disorder. By that point, his grandma also had suffered a severe stroke that left her where she couldn't speak in complete sentences. So everything he learned had to be filtered through his mom's recollection.

Now, we realize that DID is very often covert and that headmates will often mask as other headmates. Just because people thought her alters went away doesn't actually mean they did. And she had a history of mood swings and memory issues that DID could account for long after the point when it was supposedly gone.

What's more, according to stories from his mom, his grandmother was institutionalized as a teen. There, she was subjected to various "treatments" including electroshock therapy. (This must have been at some point in the 60s.) And naturally, her family claimed she was faking and was lying about abuse taking place in the house. Given what we know about that side of the family, the abuse is one thing none of us ever doubted.

After going through all of this, there would be a strong incentive for her to lie and pretend to be cured even if she wasn't

We still don't know for certain if she had DID or not. She's not around to answer questions about it.

But if it's true, it would certainly be interesting how we'd end up with three generations of plural-experiences in the family.

[purplecelestial-buddy]

I've come to learn that I love listing stuff so, let me share my:

top best movies I watched in 2024

This is based on the things I've reviewed as 5 stars on letterboxd so the possibility that I watched a masterpiece and forgot to log it is very real ... so let's not think about that!

(I've listed them based on how serious the subjects at hand are. So keep that in mind and check content and trigger warnings for the last two )

✧ Ernest and Celestine:

This movie looks as if someone decided to animate the lovely watercolor strokes from a children's book. And actually, that's exactly what happened! Based on a book by the same name, Ernest and Celestine is the tale of two unlikely friends: a little mouse and a bear.

Belive it or not, to me, this movie is for the the beaten and the damned. Both protagonist are seen as good for nothings forgotten by a society that couldn't care less for them. There's literally a scene where the building of a very important legal institition burns and crumbles, so when I say that they bring down the system, I mean it.

Despite the multiple hardhsips, they are very talented artist. There's this scene where paintings are made based on the feelings a symphony gives and that "artist synesthesia" scene alone makes it worth watching.

✧ Life after Pi:

You know the amazing movie Life of Pi? The one about the guy in the boat with a tiger? Have you ever wondered how it was made?

If you answered yes then today is your lucky day because YouTube has a whole documentary on the trials and tribulations the crew went through. And let me tell you, the production of this movie was an adventure almost as perilous as the story depicted.

I had to watch this for a class on project management so after viewing it we had to take a quizz, one of the questions said "how would you have solved the problem?"

And that kinda broke me down. Watching it and trying to answer the question while in the context of the writers' guild strike was an experience.

So I consider it a must watch for anyone that happens to work in a creative field. Don't let companies screw you over.

And if you aren't in a creative field, I still have to ask you to think about all the work that goes into making any sort of story. Be it a film or not.

Be thankful for any narrative that gets to your life because I know that there's a thousand of amazing stories we'll never get to see, because stingy business people don't trust artist and sometimes they don't even trust audiences.

✧ Arrival:

Everyone knows this one. Amy Adams saves the world via *checks notes* alien communication?

But I discovered this movie the past year and I cannot but love all it's implications. It questions the way we understand time, the way we use language. And that might not seem like a grand thing to you but, have you seen people discussing about whether dates should be given in a dd/mm/yyyy format or a mm/dd/yyyy format? Language, symbols and time are everywhere. They are very much the basis of how we understand the world.

Additionally, not only did the movie challenges some of the foundation of our understanding but it also depicts aliens in innovative ways. And I'm not talking about their visual design, I couldn't care less if you think about aliens as green guys with big eyes, but Arrival manages to do something that I had only previously seen in Nope (2022), directed and written by Jordan Peele (that's another great movie), and that is to treat their aliens as living beings.

Not gonna mention much so you can experience it by yourself, but it had won my "realism" points since the moment it showed the aliens in a ton of countries, this time not only the poor and suffering USA is getting invaded.

✧ Society of the snow:

I've never been one to say that there's movies "everyone should watch". I refuse to adhere to that idea. A movie can be good but it cannot be good for all the population.

Now, imagine my conflict when I'm about to recommend you a movie based on a real life tragedy. But, perhaps, there's were I'm making a mistake. Sure, this story has a tragedy. But this story also has a joy.

I saw this at the start of the year so there's little I remember. But the coldness of the snowy landscape and the warmness of the human spirit, are fresh in my mind.

There are other movies depicting the same aviation accident. But this one isn't about the accident, this one is about the people and their will to live.

✧ Monster:

This is a movie I don't know how to recommend....

Most people will tell you that it's the spiritual succesor to Akira Kurosawa Rashomon (1950) due to it's storytelling with a scattered plot that only makes sense once you get the different points of view of each character.

I will tell you that it's a thriller, mystery, drama that had me on the edge of my seat. I saw the trailer and started the movie all cocky, pretending I had discovered the answer to the big mystery because "it's gonna be so cliché" and it wasn't.

You spend a good chunk of it's runtime being confused and it's absolutely blissful. The story will led you to draw harsh judgements upon the characters and the events. To them reveal that it wasn't like that and that, perhaps, judgement is the worst monster of them all.

Please go in blind. But also ponder on it. Half of the fun is having your theories wreck by the time the next recount of the events shows up.

But also, this is all that Close (2022) wasn't, if you know you know.

[didasgomas]

Morning call

Day 2 of October Practice

Prompt: Wake up call

Warnings: None (ask to add if needed)

Note: I took an insane amount of creative liberties with this one, since the basic canon hasn't been fully established yet, so obviously the characters' mannerisms, thoughts and story details are probably not what their creator will make of them later

Merged conscious belongs to @uvpartybomb

(sorry for so many delayed days, I'm trying to make up for that!)

Everything felt so nice. Warm and comfortable. Like sleeping in a cozy bubble or in a cloud gently touched by sunlight.

Her nights were usually calm but not sweet like this. They were rest but not affection.

All was peaceful.

…

What was that noise?

Phone.

A phone was ringing.

Her phone was ringing.

Celeste woke up in a hurry, because for someone to call her this early, it needed to be important.

"Hello?" She hoped her grogginess didn't sound too pronounced in her voice.

"Hi auntie."

It was Mason, her husband's nephew. He didn't sound scared or worried, so at least it didn't seem like there was going to be bad news. She hadn't heard from him for a very long time, since his work shifts tended to be tight and he needed lots of rest afterwards.

But it was nice to hear from family from time to time.

"Hello Mase. Is everything.. alright?" There was no shame in making sure that nothing was going badly, even if her suspicions were likely to be true.

"No, no! I'm just about to do a morning shift so I thought to call you already before I forgot. Um… Happy birthday..!" he was still a bit introverted but he did sound enthusiastic, so probably just trying not to speak too loudly and get stared at.

Between the haze of the previous day, she hand't even remembered her own birthday. She had to thank Mason for waking her up early, because she knew from experience many others would call or visit to congratulate her as well.

"Thank you so much, dear. I'm so glad you made up some time just for this."

"Well, me and Sara haven't heard from you in a while, so I thought this would be a good occasion to call."

"This is why you're my favourite nephew, Mase." She was smiling, but she couldn't be sure Mason was able to tell on the other side.

"Uh, I've to go now, but I'll try to maybe send a gift."

"Don't waste your money on an old lady like me, dear!" She half-whispered jokingly

"I'll see what I can do, I promise..! Bye for now!"

And after that came only the ending rings.

Celeste set her phone back on her bedside table and focused on the other side of her bed.

Damien was no longer there, having stayed with her during the windy night, but his side was still warm, so he had clearly left less than an hour ago.

Of course Celeste would have preferred a life where her husband had never been turned into something inhuman, and they could enjoy moments of affection without the worry or the call for cruel tasks.

Of course she did, and of course Damien did as well whenever he had the time to organize his thoughts, but at least they still had each other, so it wasn't the worst case scenario, because Celeste couldn't begin to imagine just how miserable her life without him would be.

She had experienced that during the first week after he, unknown to everyone else, had died, and she didn't want to ever experience it again.

Celeste was aware that Damien would be the one to suffer that experience eventually, as he no longer aged while she still did, but she hoped that she would live long enough to get him to come to terms with that reality.

For now though, they both just had to keep making the best out of this insane situation.

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

the weird Yuuniverse concept tuu(?)

🐱

So I'm debating whether or not to make it another great 7 Yuu or not, but basically,

Yuu if following the plot of NRC and stuff blah blah blah. They eventually however meet someone in the Mirror, Yuuya (the first Canon yuu). Yuuya seeks to guide Yuu and help them along their journey through twst. As stuff unfolds, Yuuya tells them the truth. They are in a time loop that will either end in Death or Failure, usually both. Yuuya tells them of the past Yuus, Yuuken, Yuuka and how they succumbed to their demises against the overblots and such.

Yuuya was one of the first Yuus, and they were one of the few that actually defeated malleus, sort of, they are one of the few yuus that can reset the loop. After each painful death Yuuya started losing it

They've saved everyone, they hurt everyone, they read every book and burned them, they fell in love, they destroyed. For every loop they brought peace there was one wrought with death. But even when they finally got the best possible ending, they lost. They don't remember how though, in fact whatever they went through was so horrible they begged the very first Yuu to exist to delete their memory of their death along with wiping everyones memory of them.

There in only one other Yuu that had the ability to manipulate timelines, Tuu. And they too fell into the murderous experimentation that is looping

They were the very first Yuu to ever exist. They have died to everything and had to constantly relive their deaths to perfect their times lines

They beat the blots when they were the most powerful- the beginning of the timeline, as they absorbed the excess blot/hatred off of them throughout their loops, leaving everyone with the more tame Blots of the canon.

This however made them into a monster of sorts, and stripped away everything from them. After all they came to TWST when they were a child, but they kept aging through each loop. It took away everything from them, their body as it was now made of ink, their life, their friends. Everything. They gave everyone a good ending, and get couldnt get one themselves.

And even in the end it was for nothing, because it looped again and chose another Yuu instead since there was nothing left of the original.

However not every Yuu can loop, only a select few, the main character Yuu being one of them

As Yuuya says they are rooting for them; saying they hope they free everyone, Tuu reminds them to reconsider

If you stop it then what? The students have lost years of their lives already. It doesn't bring back any of the Yuus that died for nothing, it just damns them into oblivion, breaking the loop now just created another one.

But our Yuu has power. Why not use that to bring back the others? To reign Supreme over twisted wonderland

Yuu doesn't get it, they say they are stopping the loop, they want to go home! Plus it's not like their friends will remember them anyways since they forgot all of the previous yuus, they made peace with that long ago!

"Home? Tell me Yuu, where is home?" Yuu panics as the realize all of their memories of the past seem blank, they cannot seem to even remember a blink of their childhood as it was blurry.

"I am telling you this now not because I care, but because you have done this before. We have had this conversation many times. Every time you say you can change the future it leads you right back here to us, isn't that right Yuuya?"

Yuuya frowns and nods

"Wait I've been looping this entire time without remembering and you never told me?!"

The original yuu let's out a hoarse laugh. "Yes. You see why I say instead to destroy the world entirely rather than keep up this damn horror story? You would rather let the Yuus here rot and wallow in misery than end their suffering"

"I don't like how angry you are. You're just saying that because you're upset about your ending! I'm trying to make my own!"

"Oh yuu, I already know how your ending goes" the original yuu seems to pause, and the ink that consumes their body pulls back as Yuu sees their own face reflected back at them.

"No..."

"Yuu, you become me. I have had this conversation with you, with myself, hundreds of times now, no matter what we do, it always results in me. Don't you get it? Your memories are blank because you never had a life, a childhood. You've been stuck in this loop trying to save yourself over and over. They took everything from us. Our life, our home, our family, our body!" Tuu gestures the ink that consumes them. "I saved everyone! Turned them into their best selves, they turned us into this! Left us to rot! Look at us! Do you seriously want to continue living like this?"

[magpies4nights]

huh (Dev log # I'M ON 4?!!?!?!)

Hi guys! It’s me, @magpies4days on a different blog! That’s really the only promise I kept. Whoops. That’s why I don’t do promises. Anyways, since the last time I updated y'all, I passed all my finals and everything that was important. Yep, I passed my finals, which seems miraculous, because I accidentally studied the wrong study guide for my history exam and didn't really sleep enough the night before, and I got a 90 on it, which I'll be honest, that was the lowest grade I've ever gotten on a test in that class, but it's still an A so I won't cry about it. I turned in a really shitty essay too for one of my classes, but it seems that my professor didn’t actually read it because she gave me a 100 (ain’t gonna complain about that). I also procrastinated so hard on my graphic design final that I did it in like 3 hours and finished it 2 minutes before it was late. I still turned it in 5 minutes late because my computer decided it was funny to start acting up. Oh well, I passed that class, even for honor's standards. Normally I would be happy getting a B because I'd get a C and still celebrate but unfortunately I slayed too hard that my GPA was the minimum requirement for the Honor's organization to notice me. That's the Thinker in my Myers Briggs type showing baybee (JK JK I'm an INFP (unfortunately.)). Anyways, I’m on my winter break, and as much as I love getting breaks, god I forgot how much I hate summer and winter breaks. Summer breaks make me depressed because I have nothing to do, and winter breaks make me depressed because it’s literally the worst season of the year (cold weather (I have cold urticaria), dry air, less sun, the position of the sun is weird, and d3 barely does anything).

Anyways, onto the actual dev stuff. I probably should’ve figured this out the moment I started my idea, but I found out that to export my game to Mac, I’d have to have a developer id and pay for it. Which now I understand why most indie devs never upload to Mac. Oh well. (Fun fact: Mac actually has a feature called BootCamp which lets you portion your hard drive to allow you to have a Windows driver (Be wise on your portioning though because it’s permanent). I found this out when I was 16 and trying to download Pizza Tower demos. Totally not saying that so you could play it on your “Mac,” *wink wink*).

I had to switch my dialog stuff from a script I found on the internet, to an add-on that most Godot devs use ( Dialogic). I know. I am awful. However, there is a reason to this, and it’s entirely because I am an idiot. I have experimented with how Godot exports JSONs, and as it turns out, the images nor the audio would load! The text would, but it’s just not the same, especially when the dialog box is supposed to change with the character speaking. While it could be something in my code that is causing this to happen, or I'm forgetting to export something else while checking off all the boxes, it still gives me a headache and I decided it was for the best to switch. I may not be able to code for now, but there may be a day when I can. Hopefully. I had to change the layout of the dialog stuff because Dialogic kinda makes it like a visual novel kinda thing. I decided to torture myself and make everyone have different heights. Don't worry, everyone has relatively normal heights. Except for mayyybe Sleepy Weepy. They're like 6'2 (which may mean there's some cutoff for their sprites).

Aaaaanyways, enough about me suffering about dialog again. I’ve been working on the beginning and ending cutscene so that I can first torture everyone with 5 minutes of dialog in the beginning and then at the end music with text that may give people a hard time reading the lyrics. The animation isn’t done, but the text kinda is??? I’ll have to revise it like I have the past 56 times because my future self is hard to please, and I think everyone is out of character except Xandra.

Yeahhh, that’s about it so far. I made new music while I was being harassed with finals. Take a gander, but with your ears. Or don't, forcing you is unethical.

Top 10 Sleepy Weepy of all time!!!!! (This is doesn't even make it in the honorable mentions)

[drowning-inmysleep]

Product Review: Fixed Persona

“Well… How do you think you know that person you were a second ago is the same person you are now? A continuous stream of memories. Given only that, we all create illusions within ourselves, saying that we each have only one fixed persona.”

Ever since I was child my main aspiration was to become a musician. I would be lying if I said I didn't also dream of fame - having my name on flyers, posters, billboards, whatever.

At this point of my life I can confidently say that I have achieved said aspiration. I've spoke on this in my previous writings so I will do my best not to repeat myself. I'm currently in a new relationship, we met eachother not longer than a month ago. Before we go to sleep we take turns asking questions about one another. One night, she asked me

"Would you ever want to be famous?"

I replied, "No, I lowkey already am and I hate it."

I said this because it's true. I meant it. It's a strange and invasive feeling to have people think they know you without ever having any meaningful conversation with them. Everyone knows me, knows my name, MANAPOOL.

Though they don't know me, they don't know my name, Alexandra.

It's hard for me to talk about, I fear I'll sound full of myself - like a rich person complaining about how sad they are regardless of the convenience of their life. I fear people will hear me talk about it and roll their eyes, it's practically my job to be full of myself and to sell that to people. I don't like it.

Everywhere I go people will stop me to talk to me about myself or the shows I put on, it's not always a negative thing. As it continues I start to feel myself losing grip of my persona. The perception of me that others hold is starting to taint me.

I suffer from severe - dissociative disorder. I have since I was 15, it came back to me after a therapist reawakened childhood trauma of mine. I'll tell you that story now.

[/] I was 8 years old and at a friends house, his sister was watching us though she was only 12. Their parents were at work. She called us into the parents room, which had a big window facing the intersection in front of the house. "Look! That cars been stopped there for SO long!" The car was indeed stopped in the middle of the intersection, to then have the driver get out, come around and open the passenger door. He pulled a drunk man out of the car and started beating him with a bottle. We were too young to process what was going on but we didn't stop watching. After minutes of the beating, the man stopped moving. The assailant got back in the car and drove off, leaving the mans body in the street. I called my mom and went home after that, I told my friends I felt sick. I didn't tell my mom what happened. The next day my mom was watching the news and as I walked past I saw a news story about the man from yesterday, he died from head trauma. [/]

I forgot about this until as I said above, I was 15. Once I remembered I didn't really think about it that much, but when I did I could feel myself losing grip of whatever was happening around me. I went into a 4 year long period that I barely remember now because it's a dissociative haze.

A friend of mine told me that sometimes when they look in my eyes they can see that i'm not really there, like I'm within myself. No longer present. I didn't think it was noticeable.

I mention all of this here to bring it back to where we started. Fame and the concept of others creating your persona. I used to love when people would celebrate me, but more often than not now whenever it happens I feel myself doing what my friend clocked me on. I repeat the phrase "Thank you so much".

A lot of the time they're not really talking with me, but at me, and their intention is not to get to know me but to acquire me as a person on their team. To be continued.

[skyloftsword]

In Defense of Tears of the Kingdom's Story

Hi, I just wanted to put this out because while there is a lot of valid criticisms about the story (even if I disagree with most of them personally), I've seen a bunch of people act like it isn't a sequel to BotW at all or barely feels connected. There are also other aspects that I want to talk about in here as well, but that's the big one I want to address because too many people seem to have missed the plethora of BotW references. If you still dislike the story after this though, that's totally fine, opinions are opinions. Anyways, spoilers of course.

Ok here's the elephant in the room, yes, Tears of the Kingdom is DEFINITELY a sequel to Breath of the Wild. The intro segment makes this very clear that Breath of the Wild had to have happened in order for this game to happen. Zelda talks about how after the Calamity, the castle went into neglect, which over time caused gloom to appear all over Hyrule. The Calamity caused Rauru's seal on Ganondorf to become extremely weakened only to finally fail when Link and Zelda see Rauru's hand and Ganondorf.

Not to mention the people remembering Link, yeah a lot of people forgot who Link was, but like do you think those people have any braincells? Bolson is tricky but to be fair, to him Link is just a customer. As for Link not being recognized by those that Zelda met in person, I don't think they'd care about a knight of the princess more than the princess who suffered for 100 years especially since he's always behind her. This even works for those who had side quests considering that most of the ones in BotW were really just small things. But the people who SHOULD remember Link DO remember him and even more remember him as well.

Also the Divine Beasts are mentioned several times, we just don't know where they went... However we can infer that the Sheikah have the ability to snap them in and out of existence thanks to Maz Koshia's arena in BotW's DLC. I highly doubt they'd want those things around anymore especially since they started breaking down in the True Ending of BotW. As for Guardians, they've been scrapped and used for stuff like Towers. The Shrines and Towers destroyed by Hudson's company. There are also things like Mipha Court, Kohga and the Character Profiles that prove BotW happened.

Now onto the timeline placement. At the end of one of the three timelines post-dragonbreak, all of the events from BotW and TotK, INCLUDING the Zonai coming down and the Imprisoning War, take place after the original Hyrule fell or got destroyed by the dragonbreak. Society starts to reform with all the races that are in BotW/TotK, eventually the Zonai come down and live peacefully with everyone, something happens to most of the Zonai, possibly warring with Ganondorf already, Rauru and Sonia then come together and form the new Hyrule Kingdom. They call it Hyrule and not New Hyrule because that sounds dumb probably. Then the events of the Dragon Tears happen, then like 100k years pass where the intro of Tears of the Kingdom happens, which is around 4-6 years after the end of Breath of the Wild. The events of Tears of the Kingdom happen and then the ending, which I will explain next.

The ending of Tears of the Kingdom is NOT a Deus Ex Machina, it is explained entirely in game. I highly doubt the Zonai ever tried to do an amplified Recall on a draconified person. So basically, according to the 6th memory/4th Dragon Tear, other stone users/Sages can amplify a stone's power even more by lending their power. Sonia and Rauru lent Link their power to boost his Recall to bring Zelda back, restore Link's body back to normal and to return Rauru's arm to him.

Update 1: Okay so people are saying this is an alternate timeline created by Zelda going back in time. This literally would contradict so much its insane how anyone could think of this incompetent idea. Zelda going back in time was FATE. She was always destined to go back in time in an endless cycle. There is no start, Zelda being the Sage of Time means she is out of time's restrictions. The murals that were blocked off at the beginning of the game prove this by showing Zelda becoming a dragon. The Light Dragon was always there in BotW above the sky barrier, which we've seen the dragons go through in that game.

Anyways I'll add more to this post later if I can think of anything else I want to address.

[dearfuturehusbandblog]

Still Alone

Dear Future Husband,

I have a coworker going through a tough time and I don't know what to do for them, but I feel like I need to do something.

I was thinking I could commiserate by sharing some of the poems I've written in the past, and while I was looking for one in particular, I came across this one that I wrote last year and totally forgot about.

For the most part, I never want to share my poems or songs here in case I decide to publish them at some point, since I try to keep this blog fairly anonymous. But I found a few that I don't think I'll be sharing with anyone ever.

So, without further adieu, here's an insight into my psyche:

Still Alone (2024) Bottles and baby dolls But I sit alone Birthdays and bubble gum But I sit alone Braces and best friends But I sit alone Brakes and boyfriends  But I sit alone Boxes and B.A.s But I sit alone Bosses and benefits But I sit alone Brides and brunch dates But I sit alone Bottles and baby dolls But I'm still alone

Reading it back for the first time since I wrote it, it took me a second to remember what I was getting at, so in case it isn't clear to you too, each one of these is a different stage of life.

Being a baby > little kid > big kid > teen > young adult > adult > and then coming full circle with having babies.

In every one of these stages of life, I have always been mostly alone. No support system, very few (if any) friends, watching everyone else live out the life I've wished for and wanted: literally just to be normal. To be average and just do the things that most people do.

All this time later, and I'm still alone.

This one, I think, is a little more straight forward, especially for anyone who reads my blog here regularly....

Snowing In April (2023) Snowing in April No, it’s not a dream You think you’re crazy But it’s reality Starting motherhood On the wrong foot Postpartum’s serious But help was never sought You kept things bottled up Just the way that you’d been taught Now two children in Still drowning in  Depression You’ve always said I was the best Birthday gift you’ve ever had But you’ve never been The best birthday gift For me Conceived in darkness Gestated in darkness Born into darkness My life is bleak I’m supposed to be grateful you never gave us up I’m supposed to be grateful I never suffered the alternative to you I’m supposed to be grateful  But how can I be When I... hate myself too The voice that tells me nothing’s worth it The voice that tells me I’m a mess The voice that tells me no one likes me The voice in my head... is you

Damn, some of these get super dark, especially 2021 and earlier....

There are a whole bunch of small ones in the same vein as this:

Happy Birthday (2018) 30 years  Has passed me by The same old things Still make me cry I’ve lost my laugh  And the innocence of a bygone life

Honestly, most of the others are just way too dark and depressing to share. Even reading them is messing with my head because it's reminding me of the state I was in when I wrote them, and what I was going through at the time, which I often try to block out.

So.... I'll just leave it at those three for now.

I'm still not sure what to share with my coworker to commiserate or uplift them....

Suggestions welcome!

-LivelyHeart

[kiss-my-freckle]

Blasé Burrows

This is an interpretation post.

2x20: Panama

Michael and Lincoln have a Sara-induced argument in this episode. A confrontation that happens because Michael is upset that Sara isn't with them, and Lincoln basically expects him to just get over it. While it may be easy to overlook, trust believe Michael makes his point.

It starts out with Sara getting arrested while Michael and Lincoln watch from their ship. They're on their way to Panama, the last part of Michael's five-stage plan. He's clearly upset, and it's not just that he cares about Sara's safety. He fell in love with her.

While Lincoln enjoys the sights and smells of Panama, Michael plays the Debbie Downer. It's not just that he's separated from her, it's that he knows she's in danger - whether it be prison or the people that framed Lincoln.

Lincoln: Man, this country's amazing. It's beautiful. What's that smell, man? Michael: Bananas and sugar cane. That's Panama's biggest exports. Lincoln: Come on, man. You've been talking about Panama and bumpy bus rides ever since we broke out, and now that we're actually doing it… Michael: She should have been here with us. Lincoln: You got all the time in the world for that. Some ways down the track, you and Sara… Michael: Can we just get there, please? Lincoln: Sure.

Because Michael is dempening his mood, Lincoln feels the need to confront him about it. Having all the time in the world for that doesn't change their current situation. It certainly won't ease Michael's pain. It's as if Lincoln is ignoring the threat to Sara's safety for helping with their escape.

Lincoln: What the hell are you doing? Michael: Making a phone call. Lincoln: You can't. Michael: We don't even know if she's alive or dead, Linc. Lincoln: If Sara's in custody, they got her phone. You want to get caught?

They meet with Michael's contact for the boat he commissioned. As soon as Lincoln leaves to give them privacy, Michael tries to contact Sara by phone. While some may believe he's exaggerating, trust me that he isn't. Michael has every reason to worry for her safety. It's as if Lincoln is ignoring the fact that Mahone has been killing everyone involved in the escape, that he somehow forgot Kellerman already tried to kill Sara by leaving her to drown in a bathtub.

Lincoln: How much further? Michael: Not far. Lincoln: You know, for what it's worth, no one forced Sara to do what she did.

Rather than allow Michael time to process his pain, Lincoln pushes the issue. And he doesn't just bring up Sara, he shuts out the blame by placing it on her. So long as he makes it about the choice she made, he doesn't have to feel guilty for the situation she's in. Never mind the fact that she left the door unlocked because she believed in his innocence, that she's in danger now because she helped them specifically. He's not gonna let guilt stop him from enjoying Panama. This is something Michael isn't capable of doing. He can't shut out the pain and suffering the way Lincoln can. And more so with Sara because he's in love with her.

Michael: Whatever gets you through the night. Lincoln: What the hell does that mean? I didn't ask you to use her. Michael: It's not that simple. Lincoln: Whatever gets you through the night, buddy.

Michael references the sleep Lincoln is able to get at night because he shuts out the guilt, and it goes over his head. So Lincoln shifts from pushing the blame onto Sara to pushing the blame onto Michael.

Lincoln: You've seen the blueprints. Michael: Better than that. I've got 'em on me. Lincoln: How are WE doing it? Michael: The infirmary.

Never mind the fact that the moment Lincoln became part of the plan, he became just as responsible as Michael. Not just for the people that got hurt, but for Sara. He remained part of the plan despite knowing they had to go through her. Lincoln feels that so long as Michael was the one that got his hands dirty, the one that did all the work while he sat back and watched, that he has no reason to feel guilty. Again, his way of shutting it out. So long as he makes it about Michael using Sara, he doesn't have to feel guilty for the situation she's in. After all, he wasn't the one playing the diabetic.

Michael: You know what amazes me, Linc? Nothing ever registers with you. Ever. Just rolls right off your back, doesn't it? We ruined Sara's life, and it's like you don't even care.

Blasé Burrows.

Lincoln: Is that what you think? Michael: Well, we're here, and Sara's back there in prison. Does that seem fair to you?

Lincoln wants Michael to believe that he cares about Sara, expects him to believe it, though I'm not sure why. The way he's been acting and the crap he's been spewing says otherwise. He refuses to feel so much as an ounce of guilt for her situation, and he cares?

Lincoln: None of it's fair. Just don't make this about boy loses girl. Michael: Who should it be about, Linc? Westmoreland? Tweener? LJ? Lincoln: Let me stop you right there. Michael: Do you remember the name of the guard that was murdered because of the riot I started? Lincoln: Shut up, Michael. Michael: Do you even remember his name? I bet you remember Veronica's name, though, don't you? Lincoln: You mention her name again, I swear to God… Michael: What about T-Bag? Linc, he's out there now because of us! You and me! Every life he takes, that's blood on our hands. And for what?

Lincoln doesn't want Michael to make this about boy loses girl, but that's exactly what this is. He's basically minimizing Michael's love for her. Damn him for getting sad over a girl because it's cutting into Lincoln's fun time. He's so damn selfish, honestly. Michael's "And for what?" is hilarious to me. Exactly... And for what? A brother that clearly doesn't know and understand him? If Lincoln did, he wouldn't be spewing the crap he does in this episode. If he did, he'd expect from Michael exactly what he's getting.

Lincoln: I didn't ask you to do what you did. Michael: They were gonna kill you, Linc! Lincoln: Well, maybe you should've let them! Michael: Take that back.

Again, shifting blame to Michael. Lincoln didn't ask him to do what he did, but he certainly has no problem reaping the benefits. He has no problem enjoying the freedom they do have, and refuses to let guilt for Sara interfere with that. Lincoln's "Well, maybe you should've let them!" upsets Michael. Probably because he might as well be spitting on his grave. "The man you're talking about died the moment I stepped inside these walls." If Michael should've let them execute Lincoln, then Lincoln should've told Michael that he was guilty of murdering Steadman... because it could've been that easy.

Lincoln: Go easy, Michael. You didn't even know him. Michael: And that makes it okay? Michael: A man's down, you give him your hand. She'd roll over in her grave if she knew what I've become. Lincoln: She wouldn't. You've given me your hand, Michael. My son's out there with a bull's-eye on his back. Do whatever you gotta do to get us out of here. Please.

Michael isn't wrong. Nothing ever registers with Lincoln. It just rolls right off his back. This is the same man that told Michael not to feel for a kid he didn't even know, and in the very same conversation, to feel for a kid that he does know. Never mind the fact that Michael could've helped the kid, but didn't for the sake of protecting their plan. Lincoln told him to do whatever it took to get them out. Part of Michael doing "whatever it takes" IS protecting the plan. So he's to let a kid get raped by T-Bag for the sake of protecting the plan as long as Lincoln can get out to protect his kid. Apparently, Lincoln gets to choose who Michael does or doesn't care about, when Michael does or doesn't feel sad.

Lincoln: As bad as I feel about Sara, she had a choice. Veronica didn't.

Michael should've repeated his comment here. "Whatever gets you through the night." Veronica did have a choice. No one forced her either.

Not only was it something she chose to do, but she chose to do it despite the threatening phone call, and despite escaping death twice already. If Lincoln were being honest with himself, the guilt would've cosumed him. Lies to himself for the sake of shutting it out.

I mean, he's the one that told her, "You have your life now. I know that. But if what we had before meant anything to you, you'd find out the truth." She doesn't have her life now because she found out the truth.

Lincoln: I listened to her die, Michael. I listened to her die, and there was nothing I could do. Nothing.

A point Michael made in bringing up Veronica.

Michael: I bet you remember Veronica's name, though, don't you?

Because THIS is about boy loses girl.

"I listened to her die, and there was nothing I could do."

"Michael, you can't. There's nothing you can do."

For that split moment, Michael made Lincoln feel what he feels... because pain isn't something you just get over. Enjoy Panama now, Linc. Smile and have fun and just forget about your dead Veronica.

"Who should it be about, Linc?" The answer to Michael's question is simple: Linc. He wanted to be able to enjoy Panama without the pain of leaving Sara behind.

Michael: There's always something you can do. Lincoln: Not this time. Not this time. It's done.

Never mind the fact that he talked Michael into staying on the ship, so he brought this sad shit on himself. And it certainly mattered that it was Sara. Had it been LJ, both would've been off that ship. Linc talks about listening to Veronica die while on the phone with her, and he wouldn't even let Michael call Sara because god forbid it. "We don't even know if she's alive or dead, Linc."