#((ps by talks to her I don’t mean magically talking to the dead I mean like in a ‘this one’s for you Nana! *does a move she taught*’ way

[noirandchocolate]

@purpledemoncat asked me for headcanons about my Master Kohga’s Nana (also named Master Kohga as described in the linked post), so here we go.

Was her father’s third child, but her much older sister and brother were both killed before she was born. Her father was already nearly 100 years old and very much wanted his heir to be a child of his, so he remarried and had Nana (hnnngh it feels weird to call a child “gramma” but I don’t know her pre-Kohga name and probably wouldn’t post it even if I did, for reasons).

Growing up with such a much older father, who was pretty strict about training her to be Master someday, definitely influenced her personality. However, her mother (who was around 40 at the time of Nana’s birth—big age gaps don’t bother Yiga and Sheikah very much since they live longer than Hylians—look at Robbie and Jerrin) did soften her a bit.

As in, unlike Great-Granddad, sometimes Nana would let herself have fun! She not only let the Clan have festivals and parties for morale and tradition-continuing purposes, she’d join in with the dancing and drinking and game-playing! She was very good at the Yiga equivalent of Go and was fond of smoking safflina in her later years. She was also a fan of big jangly jewelry (at least to wear around the Complex). However, when it came to Clan business, Nana was no-nonsense and hard-working.

Once when Nana was around 25, she and an older cousin were coming back across the snowy Highlands after a scouting mission together that this cousin had asked to be partnered with her for. When they were almost home, this guy just casually declared that when her father died he intended to Challenge her for the Master position. She uh. Well she immediately kicked his feet out from under him, slapped a binding talisman on him, dragged him by his leg to the nearest cliff, and dangled him over it by a hand around his neck. She told him if she thought he’d be better than her for the Clan she wouldn’t be doing this. But since he’d announced his intent so smugly, as though he wanted to be Master for power, she really couldn’t allow it. Did he understand that? That he should only Challenge her if he intended to take responsibility?

Nana Ascended to become Master Kohga at 31. Nobody Challenged her! How about that!

Favorite plant-type food after bananas? Hearty radish! Favorite meat? Marinated venison tataki, specifically from deer taken on Satori Mountain (with the marinade containing apple juice from the Mountain too)!

Learned SO many powerful arcane techniques from her father and aunts and uncles. Her signature one was self-duplication, and she could make two more of herself. Full-bodied copies like we see Maz Koshia and her grandson do, not spirit-y ones like Impa’s. She’s the one who taught our Best Guy!

Current Koh’s prized demon carver was her favorite weapon too. He’s very proud to have and use it.

Nana married shortly after becoming Master Kohga but didn’t have her only son until six years later. This wasn’t for lack of trying. Nana and Granddad’s relationship was pretty intense. He was younger than her, a Blademaster, and it was one of those “we knew each other when we were kids and I didn’t pay attention to you but now suddenly I noticed you grew up hot” kinda things, ha. They were courting when she Ascended and he was her Right Hand until his death. (Before her grandson was born; he only knows of Granddad from stories.)

Wore her hair in twin poufs as seen here. And she was always a chubby gal. It hid a really strong core; as suggested by that lil’ story above she could flip big dudes over her head. Woman was 6’2” and broad and no slouch in the fighting department.

Once led a raid on Castle Town itself, back when the King before Rhoam was reigning. Which was ballsy as hell. They did it in disguise of course, and via stealth, and got away with all kinds of nice luxury stuff and plenty of rupees.

However in general, especially as she got older, Nana was less about straight-up raid attacks and more about shady dealings with Hylians willing to sell crops at low prices. Under her, the Clan got an amazing deal on rice by blackmailing a farmer near Hateno Village. She was big on playing the longer game and strategizing to improve the Clan’s well-being while not giving away its location, operatives, or anything else. Most Hylians caught up in her web of transactions had no idea they were involved with the Yiga—just as the Clan had operated for millennia, but more ambitious than ever.

Speaking of being protective of the Clan, Nana was very strict about dealing with intruders getting near Karusa Valley, especially if they disrespected the frog statues dotting the areas all around Gerudo Canyon and the Highlands, or strayed too close to the usually-magic-hidden gates leading up to the Clan's Complex. If obfuscation and gentler dissuasion didn't work on those stumbling into Clan territory, better to make sure the bodies would turn up somewhere farther away looking like something other than a vicious sickle made them. More rarely, if she was angry enough, Nana would say that a nosy group of travelers ought to be reduced to one, who could go home and remind others of the "wicked spirits" inhabiting Satori Mountain and the Highlands.

Nana was a good mother in many ways but really put a lot of pressure on her son to learn everything she knew about martial, arcane, and leadership skills. After Granddad died, Nana even chose Dad’s best friend Chisao as her Right Hand instead of him, for a few entire years, to drive home the point that she thought he ought to be taking his responsibilities as her Heir more seriously. Luckily Dad really wasn’t hurt by this—but this is a post about Nana, not him, so more stuff about him will have to wait!

By contrast, Nana absolutely doted on her grandson. Sure she was determined to also teach him as much as she could, but she was readier with the bananas than the sticks with her handsome smart talented [pre-Kohga name redacted] than she was with her son, ha. Definitely the “oh no the child came back from hanging out with gramma and now he’s hyper and knows how to be two of himself” kind of grandparent.

All in all Nana was incredibly proud to serve the Clan as its Master Kohga and did so for 65 years. She died at 96, more annoyed about it than anything because that’s really not that old for someone with Sheikah Yiga blood. Kohga was 9, his father 59. She was quite beloved by her people and left behind a legacy of relative prosperity (as in, the Clan was and is still marginalized and had all the disadvantages that came with their position outside Hyrulian society, but everyone was fed etc etc which was not always guaranteed, y’know?).

Shortly before she passed, she warned her son that although the King of the time was old and unlikely to do much against the Clan, his young son Rhoam had "the attitude of snot and a fire in his belly to prove himself. You'd best be wary of him." But that's information for another time because it's getting off topic again and this post is already very long!

So that's some stuff about Nana Master Kohga! Her grandson loves her very much and still talks to her sometimes. <3

[thewomenofwindsor]

Your hard work anon raised some good point but obvious misogyny is so easy to pick up on and it dripped with it. Could Kate be doing better? Sure. But saying it looks like she does nothing all day is probably the most careless thing you could say about someone you don’t know especially when that person is a mother. I’m a career woman who is not sure whether domesticated life is for me but even I don’t sit down and think that people dedicated to their kids do nothing all day. I’ve been enlightened enough to know that taking care of children especially the ones who are younger is a lot of work. So if it looks like she’s sitting doing to you it doesn’t actually translate to actually doing nothing. It’s a good thing her children reflect what she does in fact invest in them. Also just because she isn’t doing exactly what you would like her to do doesn’t mean she doesn’t take her job seriously. That’s just your reflection of her because she’s not doing 500 engagements a year that consist of largely shaking hands. It would also be great to stop comparing her to people who are not in her circumstance. The only person that she would be comparable to is Diana - who is dead. Every other woman doesn’t have the same pressures or children of a similar age so it’s inaccurate. All in all, Kate could be doing better and it will probably be better if she could get an experienced PS to work with and improve on things but I’m sick and tired of people putting down child work of the early years because it hasn’t magically developed legs and taken off and I’m even more sick of people who complain about how much attention her clothes get whilst simultaneously being the first to talk about what they think about her outfit or being the first to discuss who she is wearing or complain that she’s wearing too much of the same thing.

She can be doing more...you've agreed. she does not do anything whilst her children are in school and people can scream about behind the scenes work all they want but 1. IMO, that needs to be shown 2. How about a bit of behind the scenes and more in person engagements.

Not asking her to do 500 ...she can for sure do more than 200 .

[corruptedsilence]

Referenced / @vmpyrhated​​ / @dxrksideroyalty​​ / @seraphvie​​

Missi had already been searching frantically across the wooded forest for Duke who she knew was in trouble after hearing the howl that Cerberus had given off. Back to her fully vampiric like state she breezed through the trees knowing the forest well in her bouts of running through it on maddened whims of fancy. What she wasn’t expecting was to see a hound approaching her far faster than one should. It certainly didn’t look like one of their own and with the way their teeth shined in the moonlight she didn’t trust it.

Quickly with precise movements she would fly at the hound and use the cane itself to gut the creature at high speeds ensuring at the very least the creature did no suffer. Anything, specially something that looked to be running in the direction of the castle like that was not to be trusted after Cerberus had given off his warning.

Settling herself down next to the carcass of the animal she’d look it over and notice the note attached to it’s collar. Stabbing the end of the cane through the beast’s skull to ensure it was dead she’d reach down to grab the paper.

‘M, my father is alive and Hafter is dead. I couldn’t do anything to stop it from happening but I tried. We didn’t realize we were family when the fight started and now he’s asking me to come with him. He’s offering to treat my injuries and I’ve been drugged. If I try to make it to the castle I’ll collapse and who knows what affects this might otherwise have on my body if it’s meant to take vampires down. He refuses to return to the castle. I’m scared. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s happening. He could have killed me but he didn’t. I’m not sure what this means. He wants to talk. I need to know what we’re dealing with. I’ll stay in  touch with Cerberus so you’ll be able to know if I’m ok through him. I’m sorry my love but I don’t have much of a choice. If I refuse he might lose his temper or do something to take me against my will. This way at least I can write this note and have some power in the situation. I promise I’ll be back, no matter what happens. Please don’t tear yourself apart worrying about me. You have my mark. My teeth will find your flesh again. Not even my father can stop us from being together. This is temporary. Still, I’m sorry to worry or scare you like this. I’ll make it up to you when I’m home. I’ll tell you everything I learn.. - D     ps. Artemis knew my father, you can speak to him to perhaps learn more. I’m sorry I didn’t say more about him when I had the chance, it hurt too much to talk about.’

Rage filled her body, fleshing out and consuming her entire being. His father? Of course he’d come back from the supposed dead. Of course he’d come back and Missi would be left scrambling to figure out anything about the situation. She hated how just like with Artemis she was thrown into a blinded state dealing with remnants of Duke’s past he refused to warn her about. Now his father kidnapped him, drugged him, and was holding him somewhere unknown.

Unable to control herself it’s an unholy fire that sprouts from the cane, completely surrounding her in an enraged spectacle of her anger. Screaming out in frustration of everything that’s happened she can feel the rage burn her skin, singe and sear her flesh with just how intense it was. The magic released was anything but Missi’s. Demonic in it’s whole sense, a taste of Anger’s true strength infected the forest leaving scorch marks on any nearby plant life and completely engulfing the dog’s body rending even it’s bones partially turned to ash.

It took several moments for her to calm down enough to even recognize herself. Disassociating with the reality around her, Missi had become nothing but rage in that quick, brief, moment. Even now she still felt the lingering flames flicking against her fingers as she gripped the cane tightly. Think. Taking a second to try and collect her thoughts and replay the note that was burned to nothing.

Quickly turning on her heel she knew who she needed to speak to. Still, the embers of hatred clung to Missi as she stormed back to the castle. Her eye not such the simple red that consumed their sclera but just as everything else it became that of fire. Burning with all the intensity of malice which now enveloped her very soul. Even as she walked through the castle to the dungeons her footsteps burned the ground as a show of just how much that magic which resided within her, sparked by her anger, was pushing against the bounds of her mortal flesh.

Approaching Artemis’s cell she would grab the bars, ripping through the magic they had cast upon them to keep it shut and tore off the door to his cell. “ You’re going to help me. “ No room for argument, her tone deathly serious and oddly calm despite the darkened aura that now weighed heavily in the air. “ Duke’s father is back. He’s taken him somewhere near by. I can’t fight him alone, I don’t know what his father is capable of. Duke said you knew him, so you’re going to help me get him back. “

[lowkeyclueless5137]

Yay, Precure Yuuki. Or Cure Spirit or Cure Fighter(whatever fits I guess 🙂💧). I’m sad our first year boys don’t get the sparkly outfits or became magical heroes too(Especially Ortho didn’t gain a magical boy form. I’m talking about both Ortho’s here.) also if the Shrouds were technically givers(I already know Mama Shroud obviously mascot partner was her husband. PS is she a magical girl cause of her Japanese VA :}) who is technically Idia’s magical hero that he is a “giver” or mascot to?(Can I just say I imagine Ortho and Idia’s mascot form is literally them being blue fur cats with yellow[or golden] eyes that also have maybe a tuff on top of their heads to mimic their “fire hair”. Also “mascots” can technically still talk so~)

Cure Shrimp /hj

They are not worthy to be sparkly asses and fight bad guys with the power of friendship and excessive violence. :3

As for the Orthos, one is a mascot and hates it with a burning passion and the other already has so many apocalypse threat level weapons that maybe he would be banned in a few countries by existing alone. :v

I don't really know about the twst characters's VA's other roles so this was purely a coincidence. :'3

In reality the Shroud parents's story is something so fucking simple yet entertaining. Ah yes... Pink lady that kicks ass and her boyflop husband that looks like a roadkill when in mascot form. U-U9

As for Idia... Man tried to ask his father for advice, but eeeeehhhhhh? Man gives absolutely terrible advice on that part. I mean... Can you blame him? Look at his wife... They were a whole new definition on what a power couple is. -3-;

For now, Idia is very unknown if he had a magical warrior, multiple(that's an option) or none. :'3

And the 3 Shrouds in question also adapt 3 types of cats:

The Very Much crime rate record holder: Orpheus(or the human Ortho) Now he is absolutely not having it that in all the fights Yuuki gets to look cool and awesome and he's just there, in a corner. He bites and scratches and makes sure you get his fucking message one way or another. :'3

The one with the zoomies: Idia. He's just so anxious when in this form because he's just very floofy and somewhat big and people totally are down to pet such super L'Oréal cat model. :'3

And the roadkill: Mr Shroud. Everyone just assumes the guy is dead. He shows signs of life when his wife gives him a kiss on the head or his sons approach him, but otherwise you'd think he was dead at first glance.

[ashesandhackles]

Deconstructing Harry: The boy we meet in Philosopher's Stone to the man in Deathly Hallows

I have often seen fans talk about how nebulous Harry is as a character, especially in the earlier books. They can't make sense of who he is as a character and other more colourful, more actualized personalities take over our attention from any traits Harry might display. Harry becomes more defined for a lot of people OOTP onwards where he displays traits that sometimes make him unbearable or unlikable.

Harry, as we are introduced in PS, has a very little sense of self. He is narratively self deprecating or plays down his presence or skills, not that he is aware he has any. He grew up without any presence of him displayed in the house - no photos, no idea about his parents or what they look like or what really happened to them and discouraged from asking questions. Harry as we meet him is neglected, rootless about his identity and longs for escape. For him, every day is a battle against Dudley, who bullies him or Vernon, thus setting a worldview that never truly goes away: him vs adults. But just because Harry doesn't attach traits or values to self, does not mean he does not have it.

It's an effective narrative tool though - for Harry to be our eyes of the world. Only in later re-readings can we get a grasp of the traits that become more pronounced as books go on. Also, it's not surprising that Harry develops a better sense of self when he is removed from an abusive home.

Let me begin with this:

1. Harry is a fighter

One of the things that struck me in later re-readings is that how much of a fighter Harry is, from the very beginning. He will not lie down and take abuse. The narrative presents it as no big deal, because Harry doesn't assign any importance to it - it's every day life for him.

-Verbal standing up-

See his reaction to Uncle Vernon and the letter fiasco. He stands up for himself, even if it falls on deaf ears. "I want my letter - as it is mine!". Later on, in the same book, a completely befuddled 11 year old Harry stands up to Snape too, but in a politer way: "I think Hermione knows the answer. Why don't you try her?". He gets less polite with Snape as books go on. Harry's humor is something he employs liberally with Dudley when standing up to him - "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick" and we see this trait manifest into the sass we all know and love.

- Fight or flight-

He is remarkably good at "fighting himself out of tight corners" as Snape put it. And although Snape attributes it to luck and more talented friends, he is onto something about Harry's ability to worm out of tight corners. He lives moment to moment in a dangerous situation - relying on his nerve, very fast reflexes and athleticism. He is also able to notice things in an environment that will get him out of a quick pinch. You see this clearly in Department of Mysteries in Book 5 where he comes up with the idea to smash shelves, the mad idea to escape on a dragon, the ministry escape where he manipulates Runcorn's image (as he noticed how people were reacting to him) to create chaos and get the Muggleborns and the trio out, Chamber of Secrets when he instinctively understood the diary is the source of power and stabbed it.

Where does the athleticism and ability to spot dangerous situation come from? This boy has spent a decade cheeking Dudley and running away from his gang, spotting when he needs to get out of the way as "long experience had told him to be out of Uncle Vernon's arms reach" or "ducking when Aunt Petunia aimed a frying pan at his head". The instinct to see a dangerous situation develops over the course of the books in his adventures - to the point Harry unconsciously brings out his wand in Tottenham road without thinking too much about it. He is almost always wary and less quick to lower his wand.

When hiding/ escaping is not an option, Harry is not above physical fighting - despite how small and skinny he is in Book 1. Both he and Dudley fight for a chance to listen at the door when letter first arrives for Harry. Dudley wins the fight. Later on, Harry jumps Uncle Vernon from behind and hangs on to his neck to get his letter. He even does the same thing to the troll in the same book. ( Then over the course of series, we see him beat up Sirius in Book 3, Malfoy in Book 5, strangle Mundungus in Book 6 - all of these are related to his fury over the dead, so different context. But still).

- Manipulation/ Cunning-

11 year old Harry even tries sneakily - waking up early to get his letter (unfortunately didn't work). The other sneaky methods he has employed throughout the series is - not telling Dursleys at end of PS that he is not allowed magic at home, threatens Dudley with it in COS, not telling them Sirius is innocent to play up the threat of a murderous godfather to keep them accountable, and also the smooth way he negotiates with Uncle Vernon for Hogsmeade letter. ("Well it will be hard work, pretending to aunt Marge that I go to St Whatsits" ,"Knocking the stuffing out of me won't make Aunt Marge forget what I could tell her"). He similarly displays his negotiation and playing to what he knows about people with Slughorn in Book 6, Pettigrew in Book 7.

The scene with Slughorn is disturbing, with Harry coercing a drunk Slughorn to give up his memory. You can argue that this is the influence of Felix Felicis, but I think the potion acted more as facilitation. The disturbing way Harry brings up his mother's murder to unnerve Slughorn is his own doing. ("Voldemort stepped over my father's body towards mum" "I forgot - you liked her, didn't you?"). Again, in a life threatening situation, Harry plays to Pettigrew's latent guilt: "You are going to kill me? After I saved your life? You owe me Wormtail!"

2. Relational justice over abstract justice

Harry's concept of justice is relational and based on his high empathy for the underdog. He notices power dynamic in a situation and empathises with the victim. This is in contrast to Hermione, who has more abstract, bigger picture view of justice. It's no wonder that Hermione is the one who is the most political of the three.

His high empathy for the underdog and needing to stand up for them is because he feels responsiblility that no one should go through what he went through. He stands up for Neville in PS and encourages him to stand up for himself. When he sees his father bullying Snape, it is not about an abstract "this is wrong behavior". Harry goes further: "Harry knew what it felt like to be taunted among a circle of onlookers" , Harry focuses on young Snape's mismatched clothes because he himself knows what it's like to wear clothes that are not yours or ones that make you look ridiculous. His empathy extends to Voldemort too - understanding why he may not want to go back to his orphanage and desire to be in Hogwarts, wondering why Merope wouldn't stay alive for her son, his fixation with Voldemort's maimed soul in King's Cross chapter and later asking Voldemort to feel remorse (" I have seen what you will become otherwise"). Even his reaction to Dobby in COS - "Can't anyone help you? Can't I?" when Dobby talks about his slavery. Hermione is usually seeing the bigger picture, Harry sees the individual.

3. Pathological mistrust of adults

He is less likely of the trio to take an adult at their words or be assured by them when they say they are taking care of things. He has learnt, from a very young age, that he is always expected to take care of himself. And the times he does take things to adult, they consistently disappoint him - by patronising him or acting like he is a child, neither of which he has tolerance for or appreciates. This is why he takes to Sirius and Lupin, who exhibit neither of these communication patterns. In some ways, Mr Weasley too.

Umbridge's abuse of him for him is framed as a battle of wills between her and him, as if he is an equal. And he loses if he complains - "not giving her a satisfaction of knowing she got to me". Harry's worldview has always been - adult vs him.

His inability to trust adults even extends to the ability of adults he likes to look after themselves. While Sirius is understandably a wreck in OOTP, he has by and large followed Dumbledore's orders. This doesn't register with Harry (Ron points it out: "Sirius listens to Dumbledore even though he doesn't like what he hears") and Harry's fears about Sirius, excaberated by Sirius's tendency for recklessness, comes to play.

He even showed similar distrust in Lupin's judgement in taking a potion from Snape in POA ("Harry felt the urge to knock the goblet out of Lupin's hands" and tries to hint at Lupin that Snape will "do anything" for DADA job). And he shows this once again with the most magically powerful wizard he knows - Dumbledore. ("if I tell you to abandon me and save yourself, you must do so". Dumbledore has to insist on this before Harry nods reluctantly. It's also Dumbledore's wording, but this is a wizard Harry feels safe with almost entirely because of his power - and yet Harry cannot obey an order like this without reluctance). It's not about Harry's own ability to take care of them - he just innately cannot leave people to it.

4. Humor as a value and coping mechanism

Harry has an established coping mechanism by the time we are introduced to him - quip in the face of danger/ dark humor. There are repeated instances of Harry amusing himself with snarky comments in his head when things are really bad for him. Like in PS, when they are in the hut, Harry wonders if the roof will fall in and then thought that if it did fall in, he might be warmer. In the earlier books (before his growth), he seems to value Ron over Hermione simply because he is more "fun". Harry enjoys being around funny people like Ron, Weasley twins, later Ginny simply because there is some dark stuff happening with him and he needs "fun" people for semblance of normalcy, escape. In fact, this desire is so strong, he attaches it to his romantic relationships: Ginny is a "blissful oblivion" and times with her are "something out of someone else's life". His relationship with Cho failed because her coping mechanism is discussing her trauma and Harry's is escaping it.

-dealing with conflict with people he likes, small digression-

A part of his growing up in later books includes valuing Hermione as much he values Ron and we see it in display in HBP, where he is more willing to stand up for her to Ron (something he kind of did more quietly before in POA - "can't you give her a break?" ) and also get confrontational with her instead of using Ron as a buffer between them to fend off her more boisterous/ bossy tendencies. ("let him make up his mind" "skip the lecture" "don't nag" - Ron took the heat in earlier books. In HBP, Harry is more willing to be irritable with her in a day-to-day interaction - "I hope you enjoy yourself" he tells Hermione when she states her intention to investigate Half Blood Prince. Or when she tests the book - "Finished? Or do you want to see if it does backflips?" "Do you have rub it in Hermione, how do you think I feel now?" at the end of HBP. ) In OOTP, his best method to deal with her when she bothers him was lying, avoiding her nagging and if that doesn't work, explode and treat her to display of his temper. There is more to explore here, of course - even with regard to how he deals with Mrs Weasley in Book 4, 5 and the difference of him hugging her in Book 7.

5. Fascination with the dead/ a passive death wish

Harry feels remarkably little sense of betrayal knowing that he was set up to die by Dumbledore. His self sacrificing streak is rooted in his love, yes, but I also think Harry is a little bit too fascinated by death, not surprising considering most people he loved are dead. Him wanting the resurrection stone in DH, him obsessively spending time at Mirror of Erised (to the point he feels feverish and Ron thinking he looks strange) until Dumbledore stops him, him almost wanting to fail to learn a Patronus because he wants to hear his parents voice, the hearing of whispering voices in the Veil in OOTP which only Luna could hear apart from him, the scene at the grave where he almost wishes he was "lying under the snow" with his parents, the possession scene in the book of OOTP has him wishing to die so he can be with Sirius. You can almost argue the Harry has, in many moments, shown raw desire of death. In fact, him choosing to let go of the stone and not go looking for it is a big character decision for him.

I also want to address Harry's temper and how that develops over course of series, the implications of understanding the people he loved and put on pedestal are flawed - but I am afraid this post is already way too long. So I will leave that for some time later.

[doctorofmagic]

My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.

~ long post under the cut ~

A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.

Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.

What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.

Fine, let’s begin.

What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?

No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.

Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE

I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.

And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”

GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.

So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.

And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.

Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.

Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.

I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.

BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH

Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.

He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.

Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN

AND THEN HE

AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN

AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME

AND SHE KEEPS DYING

AND THE MUSIC

AND HIS VOICE

AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED

HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY

AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY

I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*

Apparently, not.

And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?

This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.

Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.

And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.

PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.

Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).

And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.

Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.

And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.

And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.

Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. “Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.

Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)

Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.

Shmebulock???????????

AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????

The grasp this man is holding on me right now...

Some of you will understand. I’m with you.

And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.

Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL

And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.

Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)

Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.

And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.

I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.

Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY

So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?

Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH

Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR

Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.

I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.

And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)

I can fix him...

This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)

And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK

AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.

Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.

The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.

And this is where my soul left my body.

This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.

This... this was brutal to watch. Really.

What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.

I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW

This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.

Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Black Magic" *Part 14*

Awwww yeah, you've been waiting for so long ya'll, now your reward is two full chapters of....Well, I'll let you find out.

You're welcome.

PS- Okay fine I couldn't get too too NSFW right now, it's the middle of the day. Y'know what I mean? So I'm sorry it's so short, but I need to run out for a while and I want this to be extra special, it's a LOT of hype you know what I mean?

Check back tonight for "After hours" fun, and the finale.

Tag List:

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

Part 13

Part 15

(^^^ This is you. ^^^^ 😉)

---

You blushed and smiled while Rafael still held you in his arms as Chloe and Maria rushed over.

“Oh my God HOW cute are you? It’s just like the end of a movie!!!!”

“Chloe--” You started.

“Yes I know, you’re welcome,” She giggled.

“What?” You and Rafael both looked at her in confusion.

“Uh, I’m pretty sure you were about to say ‘thank you Chloe, for giving me the love of my life’!” She looked at you with an ‘obviously’ look.

“....Weeeellllll,” You dragged out.

“Seriously?” She scoffed.

“I mean I got the job--”

“By manipulating the system,” Rafael added with a smile.

“Hush you,” You hit him playfully.

“And Rafael did say he was already in love with me, Soooo--” You nodded your head back and forth.

“And he also said he wouldn’t have said anything SOOOOO” She pointed out.

“I mean, he might have, someday--” You looked at Rafael, who gave you an iffy look.

“....Thank you Chloe, for giving you the love of my life. Thank you for everything good in my entire life,” You said sarcastically with a smile.

“You’re welcome!!!” Chloe beamed, throwing her arms around you.

“And speaking of the end of a movie--” You started.

“YESSSSSSS….?” She grinned.

“Movie’s over, Chloe,” You gestured your head at Rafael.

“....What?” She glanced between the two of you, you gave her an intense look.

“Right! Right, you guys just found each other, soulmates and all,” She waved her hands and bowed out. You and Rafael were just about to savor your alone time-- when Maria came bounding over to you.

“See, chiquita I knew it! The first time I saw you, I knew it was no brujeria!” She hugged you tightly, then hugged Rafael. “I told you Raffi, she’s a keeper,”

“Yeah she-- oh my god baby, what’s wrong?” Rafael suddenly became concerned when he saw you were crying.

“I just--” You tried to stop crying. “I had made peace with that day, that it was just-- for one day,”

“Aww honey,” He shook his head with a laugh as he hugged you.

“No, look Rafael--” You looked at him very seriously. “I-- You, you brought me to your most secret place, your familia, after we hadn’t even-- okay we may have made out in your office but that didn’t really count--”

“Baby,” He stopped your rambling with a small kiss.

“You have to believe me-- I would have taken you to Maria, and the fountain, and HERE,” He gestured around the cave. “Regardless of any ‘spell’,”

He took your head in his hands. “And you should know that I’m telling you the truth because that whole-- yellow, swirly, vortex of memories should just PROVE to you that I’m under ZERO kind of magic, or spells, or potions, or anything. It’s just ME, and ME is saying that I love you. I love you, and I have always loved you, and I want everyone to know it,”

“Okay…” You nodded with a small smile. “I just...I still feel guilty,”

“Well DON’T,” He kissed your forehead. “In fact, if anyone should feel guilty, it should be me,”

“You?” You half laughed. “What would you--”

“I remember everything, Y/N. EVERYTHING,” He emphasized.

“....Meaning…?” You raised an eyebrow.

“I remember how it felt, being under Olivia’s voodoo,” He looked at you sadly. “I remember everything I...said,”

“Oh…?”

“I was so cruel to you,” He looked down in shame. “I was so…”

“I know it wasn’t you, Rafa,” You assured him, now taking his head in your hands.

“...I called you a psychopath!" He looked at you in shame. “I PUSHED you, I--”

“HEY,” You stopped him with a finger over his lips. “We both did stuff we regret, clearly,”

He nodded silently as you removed your finger. “It was awful, Y/N,”

“...Yeah?” You asked. You felt so bad for him, it must have been a nightmare.

“YES. It was like-- like the real me was locked inside my body, just watching it do this awful stuff to you. I was screaming and fighting, that’s why I kept breaking out of it,” He put a hand on your face and you kissed you softly.

“Rafa…” You stroked his cheek.

“And she-- she made me bring her here,” He nodded at the celling, meaning the cave.

“What do you mean she made you bring her here?”

“I-- I don’t know how, I guess she…’overloaded’ me with that stuff so I was literally like a...Barba Bot,”

“Oh baby…” You tried not to laugh, but BarbaBot was too cute.

“...She, she told me to bring her everywhere that I brought you, so I brought her here. But I couldn’t tell her about Eduardo even under her highest power, so she--” He stopped, looking down.

“What…? She did WHAT?” You became really concerned, taking both of his hands and gripping them tightly.

“She pretended to be you,” He looked at you with the saddest eyes.

“I’m sorry, what?” You blinked in disbelief.

“She pretended to be you, so I told her about Eduardo. But I was reliving telling you. It was awful, I just watched myself telling her, wishing it was you,” Tears came to his eyes as he relived it in his head.

“Oh Rafa,” You kissed him deeply, wiping the tears from his cheeks. “But it’s over baby, It’s over,”

“I know, I know--” He kissed you again. “I just...I can’t believe this is real. This is happening, carino,”

“...You called me carino,” You bit your lip with a small smile.

“Yes,” He nodded with a smile back.

“On purpose,” You smiled bigger.

“Yes, cariño. Mi amor, amante, I’ll call you whatever you want Y/N. For the rest of our lives,” He pressed his forehead against yours. "I'm yours, now and forever. We'll be together, for real," He kissed you again, like he couldn't get enough of your lips.

“And...I think we should start right now,” He bit his lip while staring at yours.

“....Have we not been together…?” You looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Remember that first day, that first morning…?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“Yeah I mean you were insanely--” You stopped talking, suddenly realizing what he was saying.

“Maria!” Rafael suddenly turned to Maria with a smile. “I appreciate you being with Y/N, and helping her but--”

“Ay, Raffi. I may be old, but I’m not dead,” She winked. She hugged you one both one last time and walked away, finally leaving you and Rafael together, alone.

“So...my place or yours?” Rafael took your hand and started leading you out of the park.

“I mean, Chloe’s at mine so--”

“Oh definitely mine,” He chuckled as you both got into the Uber and headed to his place.

-----

Soon you arrived at Rafael’s place; as soon as you walked in he grabbed you in a hungry kiss. You jumped on his waist as you felt his throbbing erection against your thigh. You were lost in his touch, his mouth, the smell of his cologne. You remembered back toy your perfect day, when you were memorizing all of this. And now, you didn’t have to. You could have it whenever you wanted. And you wanted it NOW. You pulled back for a second, looking into his amorous eyes.

“What is it, carino?” He asked softly.

“I just...I’ve waited for this for a long time, maybe forever,” You gave him a happy sigh, running fingers through his hair.

“Well that’s a lot of pressure amante,” He chuckled, blushing a bit.

“Oh no no no,” You shook your head, wrapping your legs tighter around his waist. “I am just so happy--”

“Well you’re about to be a LOT happier, I promise you,” He grinned mischievously as he carried you to the bedroom. He tossed you on the bed as he unbuttoned his tuxedo vest and then his shirt, his shoes and his pants. His erection was poking through his silk black boxers as he got on the bed and crawled towards you, grabbing you in an aggressive kiss.

“You ready for this, Y/N?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my entire life,” You grinned as you ripped off your t-shirt, jeans and bra, leaving your top half exposed.

Rafael gazed at your breasts with admiration, playing and cupping them in his hands. His eyes then turned up to you, you’d never seen this look in his eyes. Not even under your spell. They were wanting, they were needing. And it was for you. He grabbed you in another kiss as he slowly slipped off your underwear.

Here we go….

[malfoygrass]

I never talk about an ot3 for Draco and Astoria, so...I interrupt my regular programing to talk about my first ot3 Headcannon for Draco and Astoria and Harry. Because I figured if Draco and Astoria ever decided to go in that direction, Harry would be 100% there with them. 

Hear me out:

At first they don’t have anything in common, there’s Harry who feels so out of place in a world that practically worships him that it’s funny. Draco who’s coming to terms with the fact that he needs to change his old ways and Astoria, the morally ambiguous girl who was suffocated by her family's hypocrisy and refused to let Draco wallow in self pity.

Astoria was trying to run away from home when she accidentally found Draco hiding in her train compartment, they're not even friends, just two perfectly sad people who feel better together than apart after the battle of Hogwarts. But they run away together, because he's an ex death eater and she's a broken pureblood, both trying figure out how to build up their lives from scratch, now that Voldemort is dead.

Just two halfway rebellious teens trying to make sense of a present in which they are called adults. (Astoria refuses to call herself or Draco blood traitors, since there was nothing to betray in the first place)

And that’s how they find Harry Potter, in between house hunting in Muggle London, shopping in muggle malls, Draco's panic attacks out over his dark mark and the hallucinations of her survival guilt. they find Harry Potter, who goes to the same cafe each afternoon and also has a lost look in his eyes that Astoria is familiar with. Harry who for reasons of his own also wanted to run away from a world that doesn't really see him. Harry who feels alone after losing so much and yet finds peace in his own company.

So being the person she is, Astoria invites him over to Draco’s new muggle house for posh tea and crap takeout and when the night is over and the mutual apologies are exhausted. Draco tells Harry he's welcome to stay in his guest room whenever he wants.

Astoria's presence is a joy to find comfort in, a blank slate of opinions for Harry to talk to, she makes it easy for Harry to adapt to Draco, to understand his former arch enemy and find himself in places he never thought to look. their lifestyle isn't demanding or ambitious. To Harry, it seems like all they want is a quiet place to heal and figure out who they are, before the future Lord Malfoy and the youngest Greengrass heiress, can assert their true voices in Magical Britain again, and so he stays... because he needs to figure that out too.

Harry teaches Draco how to use a coffee maker and discovers a new appreciation for every old museum in the UK. Once Astoria learns to sew clothes with magic, Harry and Draco find themselves in too many fancy suits for their liking and being made to judge between all her dresses. They visit all the dance clubs Harry ever wanted to try. Draco proves to be an excellent dancer in every type of muggle music much to Harry's amazement, while Astoria makes them both laugh whenever she tries.

Harry exhausts himself teaching Draco and Astoria about the joy in the simple things of life. While Draco and Astoria try to convince Harry that using money to make life easier is the Muggle version of magic. And the thing is that, the three of them don’t notice when love comes into the mix.

Sure Astoria likes Draco, he’s dramatic and stoic and he’s the closest thing she knows to a mirror, he can read her entire volumes of pretentious books and never gives in to her whining when she’s sick, and she likes Harry, because he’s funny and down to earth and a fierce protector over the people he loves, which includes her, she knows Draco enjoys it, she enjoys it too, how Harry makes them feel safe. She likes them both and they are attractive and she knows they like each other so it’s okay to love them like a friend, until it’s not. (And she doesn't know what to do)

And sure Draco likes Astoria and Harry, Astoria because she’s soft and forgiving and she’s got hope enough for the two of them and he’s pretty sure she’d support him even if he turned into a monster and Harry because he’s Harry and past history aside, Harry is just as forgiving as Astoria, he doesn’t put up with Draco’s moods and he gives as good as he gets, Draco likes Harry’s raw honesty, his sarcasm, his sense of humor, if Astoria feels like home, then Harry feels like adventure without leaving home, they both make him happy, Harry and Astoria know enough about muggle culture to lose themselves in London with him, pulling him out of his shell and tag teaming his defenses until he gives in, he is happy to have them both, until he wants more (but he doesn't know how to tell them he wants them both)

And Harry, well he feels like Draco and Astoria are a perfect combination of kindness and spite. He likes Astoria, probably more than he should, given that she’s the archetypal white princess to Draco’s black prince, she’s understanding and patient, warm, mischievous and strong in her fragility, and Harry has never met someone who can speak about caring for one’s enemies like Astoria does, she’s simply the kind of girl who brings comfort wherever she goes and Draco, Harry has learned to like Draco, underneath the pretentious idiocy, there’s actually a good person. Draco is mean, and stubborn, but he’s also smart, ingenious, terribly generous and stupidly indulgent with people he cares about, which are not many, so Harry likes him. They are both more innocent than they should, too prone to overspending, he always feels like they don't know enough of the Muggle world to avoid being swindled, he finds it endearing, and it’s okay to be their friend, until it’s not (he knows he's inlove, but nobody's ever told him it's okay to love two people at once)

It starts when Astoria's nightmares return. Dreams of dead people blaming her for surviving the carnage that make her scream herself awake, Usually Draco is used to awkwardly climbing in her bed and soothing her until she falls back asleep. But this time Harry gets there first and he's much better at it than him (Astoria responds better to Harry's reassurances than she does to Draco's). So Draco lets her calm down in Harry's arms untill she's well enough turn around and seek Draco's more stable and familiar presence.

It's a dynamic that neither Harry or Draco mind, much to Astoria's embarrassment. Truth be told the three of them have nightmares, but only Astoria is held and cuddled by the two of them anytime she so much as whimpers in her sleep. So when Harry wakes up in cold sweat and pretends to be checking up on Astoria only to find that Draco had the same idea, they don't make a big deal out it.

Because Harry has PSTD episodes almost as often as Draco and turning the house into a safe place to heal is what they've been trying to do since the beginning.

Harry needs Draco to remind him how to act normal and sarcastic and he needs Astoria to soothe him into a state of calm. Draco knows they need each other a little bit more at night, and Harry thinks it's nothing to be ashamed of. So Draco isn't. Astoria is weak, Harry is a protector and Draco is a provider. Aside from falling inlove with a classmate's little sister, It's natural to be so close with the boy who used to be your school rival...right?

Astoria's room becomes neutral ground. It eventually gets filled with Harry's things and Draco's things of course. After all her room was meant to be the biggest anyway (Since Draco in all his sexist assholery thought Astoria owned a wardrobe as big as his mother's so she should have the biggest closet) besides it's saves them all time to have Draco's hair products on hand instead of going trough all the trouble of stealing them from his room

Eventually Draco's room turns into an office for Harry and the guest room becomes the potions lab Draco always wanted....

Aaand after a few months of living together, healing together and learning to fit in the muggle world. They decide it's time to go back to face the magical world and their responsibilities.

It turns into a panicked discussion about everything their families and friends are going to expect from them once they rejoin the real world, and in a true Griffindoor fashion Harry makes the first move and tells them he wants to stay together.... But romantically, because at least he is trying to be brave cue the two emotionally constipated Slytherins admitting their feelings.

So there's a lot of talking and more than some kissing involved in that whole emotional confession time. They decide that if they are going to be together then it's going to be them against the world and thats going to be an uphill battle but they're willing to, if it's with the other two.

And yeah that's how I imagine an Ot3 between Draco Harry and Astoria would go

Ps: could someone tell me what this ship is called? Drastroriary? Drarryoria? Haroriaco?

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 2

OK, last we left off, we were in a different Youtube video. This one I grabbed off of 2 different videos (you’ll see their watermark in the corner change) and it makes me appreciate the quality that our other episodes have been, honestly. A little bit of compression going on in these, just to give you even more of that nostalgic feel of watching a bootleg anime from the 90′s your brother got from his weird high school friend’s Napster account.

Because this is done with subtitles on, it takes more caps to cover it. Part of why I rewrite the dialogue in these recaps is to help abridge stuff, and so consider yourself warned...there’s a lot of caps in this one. For most of you, that’s probably not much of a problem. But I’m just letting you know because...I sure wasn’t expecting it to be over 40 caps for half an episode, and I’ll probably just type less to make up for that. (Tumblr keeps Erasing All My Words anyway, so this is for the best, but that’s a tech issue I already went into in another post.)

(read more under the cut)

So, to start off, Yugioh and co. walk up to a bar like a really weird version of a bar joke and are like “do you know where we can find the yo-yo gang?” And, much like a video game npc, the bartender was like “I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about, and I heard every part of their intimate conversation. Let me give you all the details, children.”

Hey, PS, there’s an entire Wikipedia entry about the bar joke. And that is wild. Apparently the first bar joke was from Ancient Sumeria, and Wikipedia was like “Here is the Sumerian joke, but we Do Not Get it. Please don’t try to get it.”

The joke being: "A dog walked into a tavern and said, 'I can't see a thing. I'll open this one'."

Damn. I can’t believe the Sumerians were onto meme humor before we ever invented memes. They were in the Galaxy brain over there in the land before time, holy crap. Depositing their memes knowing that 7,000 years later mankind would look at the world’s first joke and be like “I don’t get it!” while all the millennials and zoomers with our MB of nonsense memes on our phones are like “No. I get it.” Good on you Sumerians, that is freakin the best joke ever made. 7000 years to get to the punch line of confusing the hell out of all us. Bless.

They promptly tell Miho that everything was resolved and that she should go to bed and she was like “Cool!” and exited stage left. Bye, I guess. Anzu also went home, but she didn’t have to be tricked into doing it, she just went the hell to bed.

(PS, I just realized that if I want to write less...I should probably not look up Wikipedia articles about the world’s first ever bar joke. But y’all, habits die so freakin hard, and I just feel like it’s very pertinent to this Yugioh recap, although I know it’s really not.)

Yuugi and Honda decide to visit the warehouse and harass Jounouchi. In the context of the show, they’re going out of their way to pull their best friend out of society’s systemic downward pull of a life of crime and most likely turning into exactly like his Father. But, the way that it’s storyboarded makes it look a lot like these kids just show up out of the corner and this gang was like “Damn it, again? OMG small children, please leave us alone!”

Honda hands over the symbolism sash, to which Jounouchi symbolically says “Nyeh.”

And Honda didn’t take it very well.

After tending to his kidneys for a little while, Honda decided to go back at it again at the Krispy Cream and do some sort of insane parkour over this completely ordinary fence.

Ah, the very first instance of real duel law where you duel over a relationship. In later seasons duel law is invoked for things like Mai’s marriage and the right to date Tea (and then just kind of forgetting you ever won the right to date Tea twice). But to think the very first time was Honda dueling for the right of Jounouchi to be part of nerd gang because Jounouchi had fallen to the dark side yo-yo gang across the street run by some 40 year old man with blue hair.

How many times is Honda gonna fight with a broom? Like are they just magnetized to his location? where are they even coming from?

Freakin janitor powers over here, put him in a Final Fantasy style RPG. I want to see what his limit break would be.

Not like it matters, because Hirotani very quickly explains why these yo-yo’s are at all a threat.

Which honestly shouldn’t be...so lethal? Seems like the weight is all you need, not really the spikes. But it’s at least stronger than Honda’s janitor stuff.

Unfortunate for Honda that he just destroyed an antique.

So with lightning reflexes, Yuugi does what he does most:

The death yo-yo ricochets back and does this little itty bitty scrape to this guy’s face and he’s real bothered by it. Although it’s like...well dude, you’re a 50 year old high schooler, I don’t think people will notice the scrape compared to everything else falling apart in your life.

And so then the Yugioh Season Zero team was like “oh shoot is it time to torture Yuugi???” and they got hella excited.

Like I thought it was just Yuugi’s class that were a bunch of disturbing criminal disasters, but I guess it’s the whole city. Like...was Yuugi’s class the good school?

I mean, it can’t be, there’s no way...

but like...is there a good school in this universe? How does anyone survive till graduation? If you so much as disgrace a yo-yo, you will get the torture treatment that I sure did expect in Yakuza games, but not so much in Yugioh, tbh.

Just a reminder: This is the third time we’ve beat up Yuugi this episode. Within the first meeting of Yuugi and Hirotani, he beat the tar out of Yuugi within eye shot of Jounouchi. So like...Jounouchi was reallllllllllllllllly lax on that deal, right? Like...he took his toot sweet time to realize “yeah this just ain’t ever gonna happen.”

And then the yo-yo wars begin.

Just like Solid Snake crawling through the radiation chamber.

Hirotani throws his Fyper-yoyo, Jounouchi intercepts with his Eireboy, and Hirotani’s completely terrible yo-yo just flies off the string again because Hirotani should have just sticked to using his fists. No wonder they wanted to recruit Jounouchi so badly, their yo-yo game is so off.

We never get a door to darkness in this episode, dipping our enemies into mind horrors. Instead, we get home-alone style traps. But, this makes sense. Not only do the show makers have to make Yuugi avoid solving problems with magic in front of Jounouchi, they also have to make it Jounouchi’s choice to leave Hirotani behind. If Yuugi did it for him in like...some sort of duel law situation...then that sort of leaves out Jounouchi’s choice in the equation.

Not like this ever really comes up in later seasons, since who even follows through with duel law and marries Mai? But like, it does feel like Season Zero calls out the later Seasons a bit in this regard. Honda got beat up because he tried to win Jounouchi back by force (or game, I guess.) That was just another form of coercion on the heels of Hirotani’s. What Jounouchi actually needed was to make his own decision to leave.

...most other anime I’d be like “I’m sure that’s just a translation error” but not this one.

So Yuugi runs to the roof where Jounouchi will never see this.

My audible sigh reading this line about fight club roof.

These stupid gang members went into Yuugi’s native territory, not just a fight club roof, but on a warehouse? They were dead before they arrived.

This was like maybe 3 frames of animation in just rapid succession, it was pretty silly and good.

Reminder that like 4 minutes ago, Yuugi was about to get like executed on a meat hook.

Speaking of getting executed on a meathook:

Hope you like the idea of glass in your eyes, because this anime’s got it.

They chase Yuugi around, in a sequence that was done mostly to conserve frames, so you rarely saw the ground until this shot:

Lots of falling down this episode, but unlike Tea, who fell from a warehouse ceiling once and just kind of rubbed her ass after and was like “ah damn it.” these guys won’t come out of it virtually unscathed.

Also, Honda is here now:

Jumping off of his symbolic sash trapeze, he decides to do in Hirotani for good.

Hey so like...walk the dog is a fairly gentle walk that a yo-yo does slowly on the ground right?

Just pointing out how sensitive Hirotani’s fingies are.

And he...didn’t appear to be dead, so I don’t have to add to the bodycount...but it’s gonna be a real long road for recovery.

And now, with the gang back together Jounouchi is back at school knee deep in make up assignments he’ll probably completely ignore since we know that in a years time, these fools are going to be trapped on Pegasus’ island, and at that point school will be just that place you talk about when you try to remember why you’re friends with Bakura.

---hey aren’t those chairs attached to the desks?

Because...holy crap, Anzu.

Honestly this is what you see before you die, but I guess Jounouchi died off screen after the episode ended, so I don’t have to add him to the deathcount (again). RIP.

Alright! That took like...8 tries to get Tumblr to save this one, but it managed! (well...I guess “managed” isn’t the word you’d use for a typing program that takes 8 tries to save)

Next time, we’ll be back to S5, for an arc I’ve heard is kind of boring. We’ll see. If it truly is, I can condense episodes into fewer posts. Or maybe it’s a secret gem? I guess we shall see.

And if you just got here this is a link to read all the Season Zero recaps from the start:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi-muto/chrono

(there’s also a link to read all the Yugioh posts we wrote from the start in chrono order but straight up, this file won’t freakin save, and I just can’t even will myself to look up that link again. It’s on the home page of this blog on the right.)

[thewritingstar]

Beautiful Revelations

Pairing: Gruvia (I know its been a hot ass min)

Fandom: Fairy Tail 

tags: @shellielyzabeth @be-dazzled @nostalgicxslumber @unvalley @tigerfire54

Note: It has happened. I have written 200 fanfics and idk if I should be proud or slightly scared. (feel free to skip this omg why is it so long) 

I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, liked, reblogged or interacted with me in any way. I have always had a feeling that no matter what I write, I wouldn’t matter. But every comment and sweet note left made me realize that even if its just a smile or enough to make someone hit the like button, I made a small difference or added something to the fandom. Most of my fics are quick drabbles full of spelling mistakes, random thoughts and love for the characters. I know I don’t write very long stories or finish my wips (why are we surprised) but even though Im not someone people look to as a big author, each of you have made me feel special. There have been many times, this year especially that I had decided to give up writing. “Im not good enough and no one will even notice” Thats what I told myself if I decided to just back away. But every so often I would look and see that someone new or old had read my work. Every time someone reads something I wrote, I go back and read it too. I look at all the tags and see every comment and I stop and smile and remember how much joy it brought me when I first posted. 

When I first started writing, I thought that I wouldn’t have a place. Yet in a very short span of time, I was welcomed with open arms and people started to tune in regularly for my fics. I had been given many nicknames such as Gruvia goddess, angst queen, satan (yes I know the fic0 and well even Star. 

During my darkest moments, my mind lingered to my writing and to my internet friends. without hesitation I could message someone and feel better and be given the reassure I need. I can't even begin to say how much it means to me that people actually enjoy my writing and even me as a person. 

I thank each of you for giving me a joy that was considered a luxury at one point and allowing me to write whatever I wanted and you took it with love and made me happier than I have been in years. To all the people who made art or wrote me something, it means so much to me. 

Im not saying that this fic is my greatest but I think it has a special place because It shows the growth over time. 200 fics is a lot and whether or not they were all good, it doesn't matter because I did that and I can say that im proud. Im sorry for all that sappy shit but I wouldn't be where I am without you all. 

-Star <3 

ps: im not dying or stop writing fics im just happy lol 

---

  “There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a               heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”

― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

---

It was the nights like these that she hated most. The cold would creep through the blankets and make her shiver as her eyelids hung heavy. She could be ready to rest, let the sweet dreams guide her but instead those dark intrusive thoughts toyed with her like a fly on a freshly woven web. They would sprout out of nowhere, tangled with thorns and hold her mind hostage as it injected its sickly venomized thoughts for the night.

She always wondered how she got this far. She was one of the highest members of Phantom Lord, her abilities had rarely been matched. If she desperately craved, she could walk down the hallways and strike fear into the other members, no one could touch her. Hierarchies became a custom here. Once you made it to the top after clawing your way with blood, sweat and probably more blood, you were a god. Yet she walked in and in the next few minutes she was at the table with the master, already receiving a promise that she was special, a delicate and useful ally for the guild.

Special. What a swollen lie that turned out to be.

Maybe that's why she never bothered to search for a light, something to cure the rain. For every life she had bruised or ended, she wanted to feel the pain that followed. She needed to know the consequence of her actions, to be held accountable for ruining another family or taking something from the innocent. Instead she was celebrated.

The days turned to months and she found herself years later not knowing what anything meant anymore. Life used to be black and white. She would walk the side of the kind and good and now she was treading through a swarm of a morally gray compound.

These restless nights, she loathed them but then again, suffering was something that came naturally to her. The only person to ever knock her down was herself.

She climbed out of bed, fuzzy slippers over her feet as she walked to the bathroom. Her headache had worsened and she stared into the mirror. She had looked at herself a thousand times but… have her eyes always been that blue? No, she was tired and her vision was fuzzy, she was fine. Cold water came to her hands as she turned on the facet and splashed her face. Everything was the same as it always was. Expect for today.

Her order was simple. Defeat whoever stood in her way and make sure the Phantom Lord got Lucy Heratfilia. Why did they want some mage? She didn’t know but she was never one to second guess her orders. To go against what she was told was a waste of time, she would have been dead by the end of the day if she did. She had once believed that they accepted her with open arms, that Phantom Lord truly cared about her well being. It was a lie. A bitter sweet lie she allowed to remain in her head.

Hundreds of opponents had come before her. She was accustomed to the way of a battle and had harnessed her skill at a young age. The pure power of the rain pushed her further. She had an unlimited amount of power around her, unlike others, they would run out of fuel. She began to crave that god-like power. Allow the storm to rage on, all she had was herself and the droplets that followed. She understood she was an outcast. Love was never an option, not for someone who brought gloom everywhere.

But this afternoon, fate was a funny thing. She walked onto that rooftop, winning was the only thing on her mind, but he was there. A man who didn’t back down, a man who saw her as an equal.

Her heart began to race. It was forgien and she wasn’t sure if she liked it. She had felt attraction before but this, this was different. Something as small as a single glance had already spun her mind into a muddled mess. It would have been better if she turned around, if he didn’t engage in the fight. Then maybe she wouldn’t be thinking of him like this.

Love at first sight. That wasn’t real. No one could possibly have that happen. What could drive someone's emotion so wild that they become attached to a person in such a short time? And yet it happened. He stood there waiting for the next move and she could only gaze at him with rose colored glasses.

An enemy. A traitor. That's what she would be if she dared to let him escape. She couldn’t hestatite, she never did and now she was frozen in her spot as ice magic danced around her. Peoples magic and abilities never intrigued her, but this, this was beyond anything she had seen.

The light reflecting off of the ice as her droplets froze before her eyes was breathtaking and she hardly noticed that she was losing the battle. She never thought rain could look, dare she say, beautiful? But in this state of its frozen glory, it was all she could think about. She envied those who never had to stay in the rain, a jealousy she didn’t want to admit had festered over the years and she gave up trying to despise the element. But before her was something much more than the state she was accustomed to. Ice. The solid purity of her own and she had wondered what it would be like to hold it in her hands.

She had water locked him, pulled out all of the stops and even with that, he stood again and again. He had screamed that the water was boiling, burning his skin but never before had the water gone above warm. It was usually ice cold on the tipping point of freezing but she could feel the warmth surrounding her.

It shocked her just the same. She had heard people talk about feeling the sun kiss their skin, the warmth spreading as they walked, this was the closest she had felt to that. This warm rush of water was beyond what she had known and yet even as it tinged her hands it felt good, it felt freeing, it felt right.

It burned in a way she had craved for so long. Something other than the fridgeness she had grown used too.

She stared at her reflection in her mirror, tears brimming her eyes. How could one person she just met bring her something she had never felt before? She shut the light out in the bathroom and walked back to her bed, passing her window, she stopped and turned.

Above in the sky was the moon. A soft white glow surrounded the orb that she had never seen before. It was breathtaking. A cosmic power the normal people of the world didn’t dare to worship now became a luxury. The sky was clear and she could see the stars, she could sense them all. How could she have lived her entire life never once seeing the moon and the sun? She had been cursed to live in the rain forever.

But he-he made it stop.

When he grabbed her arm, it was like time had stopped. As if everything she had ever known was washed away and all she could see was a bright light encasing him. She was content knowing her death was coming, there was hardly a reason for her to live. Perhaps she wasn't even living, just surviving day after gloomy day.

He pulled her to safety, her back against the roof as she panted heavily. Those clouds above her moved like a curtain for a show, parting just so that she could see the enchanting mystery she had always craved.  

She had never known a blue sky till then. The brightness was almost unbearable as she stared into a sky she had never known. So many emotions flooded her head but it was clear as those ice crystals that her heart was beating for him. She was his enemy, they made that clear from the start but he hadn’t hesitated to save her. He showed a mercy she had never come across.

Another tear fell as she sat on her bed.

“He saved Juvia.” She whispered to herself. A horrific thought came to her. Would she have saved him? She didn’t want to know the outcome because deep down she believed she was good. Beneath the surface of unremosle power, there was that scared little girl who never had anyone to care for her.

The amount of days she sat in that orphanage alone sewing her dolls and praying that the rain stopped one way or another, it was as if she couldn’t remember it. He had done the impossible. He showed her the sky she hadn’t seen. He had shown her kindness.

A thought came to mind as she stood and packed her things. No more would she be known as “the rain woman”. No more would gloom be her only trait. She was determined to find something much more appealing than those bowing by fear. She wanted love. She wanted that warmth of the water constantly and the feeling of the sun on her skin. She understood it now. There was a power strong than her, stronger than any wizard that surrounded the other guild.

She had vowed to be done with love. Promised herself that no man could hurt her again. She was trembling at the thought of being vulnerable once more. The only time she felt warmth was the scorching burn of a fiery rejection and words that burned like lava. It was too much for someone to handle. So she pushed it down, locked the key and threw it as far as she could. The temptation though. The idea of letting her guard down for someone, someone she barely knew? How she fantasized of that moment. She had once believed that someone of her past had done that, but they were all the same. Ashamed of the rain, the rain she caused, the pain she brought.

And after their fight when she collected herself and tried to run back towards her guild, he stopped her.

“For what it's worth I think you’re an incredible wizard. You may not want to believe that your guild is dark and bad but, Fairy Tail is always open.” He had said it with such sincerity that she wasn’t sure if it were true.

“Juvia thinks your magic is just as powerful.” She had said before he gave her a smile and turned away to go back to his other guild mates.

And here she stood, a suitcases packed in the night and a note left on the desk. This guild didn’t deserve any words. Not when they feasted on her ability. Harvested those negative emotions and almost made her fall into the deep end.

She knew what they would say. They would call her a coward. A traitor and a worthless wizard, at first it was enough to stop her. Make her stay and perhaps bring back the clouds. However what he said stuck in her mind.

“I would rather die fighting than let your guild have Lucy! She is one of us and we don’t leave anyone behind.”

Without hesitation he made it clear that every member of the guild was valued no matter how long they had been there, they were a family. If something like that would have happened, if she were threatened, her guild would let her die without a second thought.

Never again would she allow someone to have a hold over her. She spent too many years sheltered by pain and deviation to go on like that.

She grabbed her bag and closed her door.

--

Juvia stood in front of the door. The morning would be better to do this but it was beyond dark outside and she didn’t want her intrusive thoughts pulling her back to her old guild. Softly she knocked, maybe hoping that he wouldn’t hear it and force her back to the isolation of fear.

The open clicked open and her eyes widened slightly as a sleepy Gray leaned against the door frame, shirtless and rubbing his eyes.

“Juvia?” He blinked and watched as her cheek puffed out in red. He looked down to see that he was only in his underwear and let out a yelp as he grabbed a blanket off the chair. “What are you doing here?”

“Um Juvia thought.” She paused and looked towards the ground. “Actually Juvia apologies for disturbing you.” Her back was to him and she began to walk away.

“Wait!” His hand caught hers and he pulled slightly. A jolt of warmth spread through her, burning her like a thousand suns as well as the chill of ice from his own temperature. She looked back at him, eyes wide and lips parted. “Juvia, please just tell me.”

“Such kindness.” She whispered to herself. Her heart rate sped up just like it did earlier and she swallowed a breath. “Juvia was wondering…why did you save her?”

His hand dropped her as if he were shocked that she would dare question his action.

“I wasn’t going to let you die. Enemies or not, I don’t think you deserved that fate. I don’t believe that you are this evil person your guild made you out to be. To be honest when you fell, you look like you didn’t care what happened and I guess I saw myself in you.”

“You saved Juvia because you know what it's like?”

“To feel lost and hopeless I guess.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Sometimes it's hard thinking you deserve to live, that it would be better to harbor all the pain of your past. I don’t know everything about you but that look in your eyes. I couldn’t let you go knowing that there was a brighter future ahead.”

A tear dripped from her eye. Her smile was soft as hugged her arms to her body. “You knew Juvia would join the guild.”

“Well I wouldn’t say I knew, but I was hoping that you would. If you still want to, that is.”

“Juvia would be honored.” She bowed respectfully towards him.

Gray smiled and bowed back. His eyes faced the sky looking towards the moon. “Have you ever seen it?”

“Tonight would be the first. Juvia thinks the stars are remarkable.”

“Lucy knows alot about them, I think you two would be good friends.”

Juvia shook her head as regret twisted in her stomach. “Juvia accepts your kindness and compassion but she doesn’t know if the rest will. Juvia was her rival, she understands if everyone doesn’t see her as a friend.” She frowned slightly.

A laugh came from the ice mage's mouth. “That's the thing about Fairy Tail, no matter where you come from or what your past may have held, there's always going to be a friend waiting.”

Juvia nodded. “Thank you Gray. Juvia will talk to your guild master tomorrow.”

“Like I said before. You’re an incredible wizard, you’ll be just fine.” He winked.

“Have a nice night.”

“You too.”

She watched as he entered his house before turning around and walking towards her hotel. Her shoulders felt lighter and she held her head high for the first time. This was her step in the right direction, this was where her new life began.

Time had slowed and allowed her to pause. A beautiful revelation she never knew could exist came to mind as she just realized that she was in love.

---

She looked down at her leg in the mirror. The voices behind her had faded to the background as she became entranced with the mark of Fairy Tail.

“The blue suits you.” She turned to see Gray standing there with a smile as he was focused on her guild mark.

To say that she was grateful was an understatement. Her mask she wore like a crown had shattered. It unravels in his hands as the months went on and all that was left was the person she wanted to be. She could finally let go of her ghosts, her darkness and begin to forgive herself.  

---

“What do you think?” He asked her as the white sky fell with snow.

Gray had told her of a special spot he used to go to when the first snow came. Past the forest was a clearing of grassy hills that would soon become a winter wonderland. Laid out on one of the hills was a blanket and a few lanterns.

She held her hand out and felt the tiny snowflakes collect on her hand. He sat behind her, one arm snaked around her waist while the other hand rose above hers and created a small flurry of snowflakes.

“Breathtaking.” She gushed. This was the first time she had seen snow fall. Her eyes followed the ice magic as it formed a heart and blew into the sky joining the other flurries. She turned so she could meet his eyes and his normal content face was replaced with a smile.

He leaned forward until their noses touched briefly. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He said and she only had a moment to process his words as his lips landed on hers and her eyes fluttered close.

Her hand went to his cheek as she leaned towards him, her energy matching his and all she could hear was the thumping of her heart. She would be embarrassed to say that she might have dreamt of this moment a little too much but it didn’t matter now. All she knew was that her beloved felt the same.

---

For once she was happy to hear a cry. That little whimper bubbling from the baby's mouth, her baby, she was in disbelief. Perfection was a rarity. No one was perfect, but the being with a tuft of dark blue hair and grey eyes would beg to differ. A child was never in her future. The thought came up randomly but the idea of raising a family wasn’t even a question.

During her missions in her old guild, she would walk past a family. She would see happy faces on everyone and would only be filled with envy and hatred. Disgusting was what it was. How could you love someone else when there was no love for you?

But times change. She would see others holding their child's hand and feel a warmth in her heart at how the children beamed up at their parents. She could sense the love all around them and would smile herself, hoping that it might become a reality for herself.

She would wake in the middle of the night, not from her demons but for her new reason to live. He would babble and tug at the locks of her hair and giggle when water magic danced before his young eyes.

---

It was nights like these that loved the most. The soft rays of moonlight casting shadows through her window as silk sheets wrapped around her bare form. She used to spend nights alone, only her pillow to catch her tears and now delicate fingers trail her backside as she listens to the thumping of his heart. His chest rises and falls as her own follows the rhythm. Her eyes flutter close as her tiredness grows untils it's interrupted by a cool press of lips under her ear.

A peaceful sigh leaves her lips as she tilts her head up to meet dark eyes gazing at her. Flushed cheeks was something she wore often and she lifted off of him to move further up and meet his lips with hers. He pulls her back to him, hating the emptiness between them and adores the way she shivers when his thumb traces her guild mark.

Their love was honest and raw. She had learned that nights like those in the past would haunt him as well. They would keep him up and plague his thoughts with images of death and destruction. But now, they lingered in the shadows, always there but something brighter and beautiful guarded them to peace and she focused on the way he breathed her name then the tears that dropped.

There was an overwhelming amount of happiness that she had gathered after all the years she spent in Fairy Tail. She found friendship and family bonds. Love in all forms that she cherished deeply. Her powers were seen as a gift to help others and lend a hand, not twisted into medled lies that she had spent so long untangling.

Her lips pulled from his slowly and their breaths settled between them. When she looked at Gray she found something more. She had freedom and rebirth. Forgiveness and lust wrapped into something more than love. Their bond was stronger than she could have ever dreamed and when he left kisses over her skin she wanted nothing more in life than to stay frozen in this moment.

He did the impossible. He opened a door, shined a light through her darkness and allowed her to accept the fact that she did deserve to live. She could cherish moments and keep them as her own without the threat of corruption. Her life was now her own to command and she did it with such grace and beauty that Gray couldn’t imagine her being any different. 

“I love you.” He promised and there was no doubt in her mind that he meant it.

“I love you too.” She responded.

The beautiful truth was that she was finally at peace and loved herself. 

---

I hope that you all enjoyed and thank you for being so lovely <3

[hannah-deactivated20220725]

2020 End of Year Friendship Post

Alright, you guys know that I love to make gushing posts about people I’ve grown fond of.

Well, I’ve decided to make a big one for the end of the year. Celebrate the friendships I’ve created and/or maintained in the last year. This is obviously not EVERYBODY as I have shit memory and some of my friends have left the site (T_T) but this list will be a bit long, so I’m gonna post everything under a cut so that it doesn’t bother people having to scroll past it. (: to the people not mentioned in this but that follow me: thank you so much for supporting me & my writing adventure. I know that my blog has been through ups and downs, has changed immensely in the course of the past year, but I hope that you guys still enjoy and do not regret following it.

If you do, feel free to unfollow. I understand that some of you probably followed me for my games or events, which I no longer post here. If you do follow for my games, don’t forget I have a blog centered around writer games now!! You can find it at mywritinggames. You don’t have to follow this blog if you just followed for games. You can follow that blog. I won’t be offended. <3

Alright, enough of that. Let’s get into some lovey-dovey mushy-gushy words of adoration for all a lot of my friends!

PS here’s a list of everyone I tagged on here with comments and the paragraph number in case you want to skip straight to your mush comments:

1. Toby 2. Franka 3. Szandra 4. Raev 5. Jade 6. Lynxxie 7. Ravage 8. Andy 9. Pax 10. Keena 11. Ariadne 12. Ellie 13. Katie 14. Etta 15. Jake 16. Aurelien 17. LJ 18. Fatal 19. Avery 20. Amanda 21. Ari  22. Galaxy 23. Elizabeth 24. Dawny 25. Cat 26. Kry 27. Eris 28. Vermont 29. Erin 30. Piya

The final paragraph is a general comment to everyone, so please make sure to read the final paragraph as well! Thank you all for existing, for staying alive through a rough year, for being here for me and for being my friends. You are all amazing and deserve everything, all the energy love and positivity you put into the world. <3 I love you guys!

1. @lordkingsmith - I’ve already beaten this dead horse, but you are SO INCREDIBLE and I have no idea what my entire mentality would be if not for you. You’ve saved me from giving up on my dreams multiple times by your positivity and always knowing how to help me!! Any time something happens, you’re right there with a solution and it’s mind boggling. You’re literally the only person that can be like “here, help yourself this way” and I won’t get upset about it because I trust you in a way I trust SO few people. You are my little brother and I am so, so happy Jason Zephyr and a stupid tomato guessing game brought us together ;)

2. @franky-ts - girl... you’ll always be my twinny. Always, always. I can’t imagine life without you in it. Even through me deleting my blogs what, 3-4 times now since we met? I always come back to you. You are always the top 2-3 people I search for when I come back because you are my twinny and if I don’t get to have a tumblr experience without you, I don’t want it! <3 I love everything about you and I’m so glad to know you. I’m so grateful to have friends like you that always reach out to me and try to cheer me up when I’m feeling down. I always want to share my ups and downs with you. If not for the damned timezone difference, I probably would. Love you, sis.

3. @catharticallysarcastic - probably my favorite person I rarely speak to ;) A friendship started with writer games and the beauty of her name (Szandra for those that don’t know)... you are a remarkable and beautiful person and you deserve the world and all of your dreams with it. I wish this world was perfect so you could live in a perfect world because you, my friend, are great. And sweet. And amazing! Thank you for being a good friend to me.

4. @raevenlywrites - I know we don’t talk much anymore. I don’t really bombard you with asks like I used to, but I do still cherish you, not only as a writer, but as a person. You have a beautiful heart and are such a caring individual. You will go out of your way for other people and this world needs MORE PEOPLE like that! You are incredible and I hope you reach the absolute apex of what you think life should be. That is my 2020 wish for you. <3

5. @jade-island-lives - Jade.... Jade, Jade. Another great friend that’s been here through my ups and downs of a couple of different blogs I’ve ended up remaking. Jeez, it’s been so long I can’t even remember how we met. But I’m so, so glad we did. You are beautiful. You are so caring and kind. Your writing is amazing and your characters are just... *chef kiss* But this isn’t about your writing, as amazing as it is. This is about you. This is about how amazing YOU, as a person, are. This is about how much I love and appreciate you as a person. This is about how much I am grateful to have friends like you in my life. This about how you’ve been here for me through so much and how I can’t imagine if I’d never met you. Even though we rarely talk like we used to, I still cherish you like we talk every freaking day. Life gets busy, especially as adults. Shit happens, life gets hard. But through everything, just know I love you and am always, no matter what, here for you. <3

6. @wyldlynxx - Lynxxieeee ~ my little Nane fangirl xDDDD you are amazing. You don’t give yourself near enough credit for how awesome you are. You make me laugh and so happy to be alive. We don’t chat like we used to, which... to be fair there are very few that I do still talk to regularly. But I still love you and our friendship. I wouldn’t trade it - for you - for anything. (: I hope one day we can catch up again and start chatting more again because our chats always, always put a smile on my face.

7. @mrs-raven-writes - Ravage! My savage little Ravage!! My buddy! Hey! Hi! You are awesome. Our conversations are so unique every time. We don’t just have the typical ‘hi how are you’ talks. I mean yes, sometimes we do if it’s been a while since we chatted, but for the most part, we’ve had all different kinds of talks. My favorite is when you randomly approached me saying you almost threw down with someone because of a game. xD And finding out that even through your absence you still keep track of me? T_T I was so flattered and still am. You are amazing and you also do not give yourself near enough credit for how amazing you are. I am so glad to know you and I hope that 2021 treats you better than 2020 did because I’d love more than anything for you to message me telling me how incredible you feel and how much life has improved. I freaking love you, girl, and I want nothing but happiness and love for you. (:

8. @violetcancerian - Andyyyyyyyy~ hi!!! omg what to say... I’m not even sure how to say what I want to say. xD A friendship forged by mutual love of King Arthur fiction... turned into what it is now. Even though we rarely ever talk anymore, I still feel so close to you... and I hope that you know that you’re still a very special friend to me. ^_^ you are so sweet and so ENTHUSIASTIC! You spread so much love to others and it just makes me smile! It makes me so happy to see you on my dash, not just for the fics, but for YOU. You, as a person, are worth so much, and I hope you get everything you ever wanted because I want nothing but the best for you, my friend! Happy new year and thank you so much for being my friend. <3

9. @magic-is-something-we-create - Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxy!! One of my most enthusiastic friends! I always know that I can just chat your ear off about the things that have me excited because you just get so excited with me! You’re like my “pump me up” buddy because your excitement then causes me to get more excited! Instead of mocking my hyperfixations, you get enthralled with me, and I LOVE that!!! You are so encouraging and so increidbly sweet and thoughtful. You always put a smile on my face and even when it’s been weeks since we’ve chatted, our conversations are never stale. I always know if I message you, we’re about to have a fun, exciting conversation. I never get bored of our chats or of you because you’re just so FUN and put such a big smile on my face!!! I love the friendship we’ve built and I really, honestly hope it never ends because you’re amazing. <3

10. @keen2meecha - hey, buddy! We haven’t really chatted in a while but I wanted to include you because we used to chat a lot more. And it was so fun getting to know you and sharing my passions with you. I really hope that we get into touch more in 2021 because I never want to lose that bond we shared back when we chatted more! I enjoy so much talking with you and getting to know your works and sharing mine with you! I hope you have an phenomenal 2021, my friend.

11. @confundere - another buddy that I always look for when I restart my blog (which has happened an embarrassing amount of times). Ariadne is a passionate person with so much to offer this world and I cannot imagine ever restarting my blogs without contacting her. You are someone I think of frequently, even if we don’t chat as much as we used to, and I’m so glad to have met you. (: thank you for being such a great friend to me, and for being so supportive of me. I hope you have a terrific 2021. Happy new year, friend!

12. @howdy-writes - Ellieeee~ we have had many fun chats via our posts and I have massively enjoyed going from “oh what a cute blog” to “wow this girl is amazing!” I have enjoyed from going “aw how cute, she likes lesbian cowgirls” to “this girl IS a lesbian cowgirl!” You have so many incredible layers that are so fun to figure out and you are such a joy to get to know! I’m so glad I got the courage to reach out to you and talk to you because you are one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met on this site. You always have nothing but sweet things to say and I just.... I look up to you so much. Your kindness, your positivity, your love. You, all-in-all, are a role model I wish I’d grown up watching. I hope that all the youngesters following you realize that you are someone to look up to. ^_^

13. @abalonetea - you... oh, Katie, you. It still makes me laugh how long it took me to stop calling you Emily in my head xDDD you’re incredibly talented. But beyond that, you’re a great friend. Always supporting others. Always willing to be there for others. You’re a great person and deserve as much love and support, if not more, as you give. You are so kindhearted and just all around, the best kind of friend to have. Thank you for being one of mine. <3

14. @ettawritesnstudies - one of my newer friends from this year! It was so fun collabing on a positivity event with you! My hope is we can do something like that again because you were a joy to work with. ^_^ you are so kind though. So kind and so thoughtful and supportive. You are exactly the kind of friend I want in my real life. You are the kind of person I could see myself really opening up to and texting every day if I knew you irl. People like you are what make this world worth living in and people like you are what make the world a nicer, better place. I’m so grateful to know you and that you decided to join tumblr. Thank you for everything this year and I look forward to another year of friendship!

15. @homesteadchronicles - Jaaake!! Omg we don’t chat like we did when I was first recommended your blog, but I still cherish every conversation. I cherish every hi and am always sad when we have to part ways. I think about you frequently, even if we don’t always talk. I’m always wondering how you are, how your writing’s going, how your year’s going. You have been a joy to get to know and I really hope one day we can start chatting more again because our conversations always leave me with a smile on my face by the end, and I simply cannot say that about just anybody. Happy new year, friend, and I hope you have a terrific 2021.

16. @copperplatescript - Aurelien!!! I’ve probably said it before but I LOVE your name. It’s so unique compared to names I’ve heard in the past. But beyond that, there’s an amazing person attached to the name!! I love sharing things with you because interesting conversation always follows. You are so fun to chat with and you have so much interesting stuff to share! Your fascinations are so fascinating and it’s so much fun watching the progression of your projects!! I miss our chats but I know 2020 has been a hectic year for most. I just hope 2021 brings more fun and fascinating conversation and brings us closer as friends ^_^ thank you for several months of a wonderful friendship. (:

17. @ljscrawls - sheesh, I can’t believe it took me this long to get to LJ!!!! My buddy ol’ pal. Talented, sweet, fun, funny!!! Pretty much all the best traits in one amazing person. You always bring a smile to my face and leave me feeling so freaking special. There are very few that can make me laugh, cry, flattered and just so happy in one single conversation. You bring so much joy and love in my life and I just can’t imagine ever losing your friendship. And I hope I never have to because I don’t want to be without you in my life. ^_^ thank you for being such a great friend. I love ya!!

18. @fatal-blow - I know we’re not like SUPER close or anything. But I wanted to let you know that you are amazing. Not just because your talent is beyond anything I have the words to voice but... you are such a fun, passionate person to speak with and it’s fun watching you talk about things you love, especially your characters. The way that you make your characters feel so familiar when you talk about them, like you’re talking about an old friend. It’s simply inspiring. I’m so glad I found your blog and started commenting on your posts because the conversations that have ensued due to it have been so memorable. I’ll never forget you, even long after I stop being on tumblr, whenever that happens. Thank you for everything.

19. @just-a-little-bit-of-sugar - girrrrl. You’re someone that I really miss. You are so sweet, just like your name implies, and such an uplifting person to talk about. You’re so positive, and you know. I do really cherish that about you but that isn’t what makes you so special to me. Everyone has down days and I don’t ever want to make you feel like I’ll appreciate you any less for having them, like your positivity is the only thing that makes you worth friendship. Good or bad days, you are a great friend and I want to be here to celebrate the good and help you through the bad! You’ve been a great friend to me over the last year and I only hope you can say the same to me. <3 hope you’re doing well.

20. @amandahoyle - god, our friendship started with a mutual love of DARK writing. Started with my writing of Death Has a Face and other dark stories centered around death and your series I’m reading with DEFINITE darkness in it.... but it evolved into this beautiful thing it is now, that I wouldn’t trade for the world. You are a remarkable friend, always having nothing but nice words for me and I so appreciate how you lift me up during hard times. You’re always here for me and willing to help bring me out of my own personal darkness. And I love and appreciate that so much about you. You are a phenomenal friend and I just don’t want to imagine ever losing your friendship. Thank you for being so kind and so patient with me over the last several months. I’m so grateful to have you in my life, even if just virtually.

21. @leafgreen6 - Ariiiii!!!!!!! One of my earlier friends! I met you through Galaxy and our friendship kind of blossomed. The three of us together create quite a dynamic trio even if we don’t chat together like we used to. You are amazing. I hope you realize how incredible you are. You’re so beautiful, inside and out, and you are so caring toward your friends. You love and support those around you and have such a beautiful heart. You are talented af and a total badass. <3 I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. Thank you. Thank you.

22. @books-of-lunacy - Jesus! Girl, we literally never talk anymore! I hope you’re well. I miss you. We forged a great friendship that I will never, ever forget, even if it fades away. Because you’ve been amazing over the months and I’m so glad to have met you virtually. I used to imagine if we met in person many times xD and I think you’d be a fun person to like go on adventures with at midnight, when the world around us is asleep. (: I’m glad to know you and I hope that 2021 brings you joys that 2020 tried to take away. Miss you and again, I hope you’re well. Thank you for being a friend.

23. @incandescent-creativity - we used to chat sooo much when I discovered your blog, when I originally created this blog! You were one of the first people I sought out when I recreated it because you inspire me SO MUCH. Your passion for your writing and characters... your kindness when answering questions... your silliness and just overall personality and attitude, it all inspires me. Every. Damn. Day. I know I haven’t done my “ask spree” stuff I used to do frequently, which got you accustomed to my url (and was also the reason you apparently actually noticed my disappearance when I deleted my original blog) but just know that I think about you frequently. Not just as a writer and creator, but as a person. As an amazing, inspiring person that I strive to be more and more like. You are incredible. Thank you for showing the world who you are.

24. @dawnsplaceyt - I know you’ve been busy lately and life has gotten hectic but I just wanted to let you know I still think of you frequently and am grateful for the friendship we’ve built over the last year. You are such a warm person with so much passion and love and I’m so glad to have been one of the people that got to witness that. I am so thrilled that your relationship took the next step and I can’t wait to see you start the next chapter of your life. <3 I hope you’re doing well and that the end of 2020 and all of 2021 treat you well. Love ya girl.

25. @missionkitty - Jesus. I can’t believe you’re all the way down at 25. But either way, here we are. One of my favorite people that I met through the odds of an otome game we share a passion for. Your art is breathtaking. I love your style and you as a person are just as breathtaking. You are so free and passionate!! You have so much love for the things you care about and that is so admirable. I look up to you so much, especially as an artist! I strive to be more like you one day. <3 thank you for being so amazing! I look forward to another year of friendship.

26. @kryskakikomi - okay, we know each other more through games and events than we do through actual chats, but I’ve always WANTED to talk to you... and build a friendship? One of my goals for 2021 is to do more outreach toward people I have wanted to talk to but never quite got the nerve to reach out to and you’re one of the top on the list!! I’m thrilled we’ve had interactions at all but I’d be so happy if we could have more in the coming year! Hope your year goes well. (:

27. @leave-her-a-tome - uh, you’re awesome. Enough said, next! No, just kidding. xD but I wasn’t kidding when I said you’re awesome. Even just seeing you on my dash gives me a thrill. You have so much talent, yet are so humble about it and are so happy to support others. It’s quite inspiring to see someone that is so incredible be so down to earth and not full of themself. You are so fun to chat with too! Our chats are usually short but they still bring me such joy. To know that someone as amazing as you LIKES to chat with me? Humbling. And thrilling at the same time! I will never, ever forget you or the time we’ve spent talking and working together!! Thank you for everything and for the support and I hope you have a great 2021!

28. @vermontwrites​ - okay, I know we haven’t spoken much since the Prompt Pals days but I really enjoy your presence - both on my dash and my DMs. You have been through so much yet hold strong. Yes, I know some days are really hard for you but your strength and resilience are inspirational. I hope you know you’re not alone and that I’m here if you need someone to lean on, if you need someone to vent to. You aren’t alone. You don’t have to push through everything alone. You have friends that care and that want to be here for you. You are incredible and deserve love and friendship. I hope you recognize that. Thank you for sticking around and for being you. I hope 2021 goes better for you, my friend.

29. @rhikasa - okay. I know, we mostly communicate via games, but you have been such a positive force on my dash and notes in the last year. I know we don’t chat much but I do still appreciate you and want you to know that. I don’t know like if you think about me beyond the games, but I certainly do think about you and am always hoping you’re having a great day/night. You’re awesome and creative and kindhearted and I’m so appreciative to have you as a mutual. <3

30. @piyawrites - Piya!!! We haven’t really communicated in a long time but I still cherish the times we did chat. We have had so many good conversations with giggles and enthusiasm and support and I love your energy! You’re such a positive force and such a great person to know and chat with and I’m so so grateful for that. You’re wonderful and I hope you recognize the light that you shine on others lives because you do. And you deserve that same level of loving energy that you bring to others. Thank you for being a part of my online world.

Thank you everyone that is listed on this. You are are all so freaking wonderful and each and every one of you hs made a difference in my life. You all have played a big part in why I have stayed on this site and I cherish each and every one of you for all kinds of reasons. I hope you all know how loved and appreciated you are and I wish you all a very happy New Year. May 2021 show many improvements upon the last year <3

[socially-awkward-chocobo]

Ok, so, the Corrupt Hylia au

Okay, so, out of the four art posts I've made, two of them have been tagged with "Corrupt Hylia au." An au I haven't really talked about that much. I should probably fix that. (Definitely. I mean definitely) Prepare for an info-dump

The Corrupt Hylia au was created when I was reading a fanfic at the same time I saw a post about how Hylia's existence made everything black and white. Some details of it were on my mind and I thought, 'hmmm, the story is too black and white,' and thus an au where Hylia is a manipulative b-tch controlling everything for her perfect hero villain story was born. Fabricating a curse, creating villains, capturing a certain someone to be the hero's "test," all with the Sheikah (but not the Yiga. They defected for a reason and Hylia is half of it.) I'll explain the 5,000 yrs ago plot, since I have that figured out but not the actual plot. It’s gonna be long and under the cut for those interested.

During one of the loops, one where she's there physically to make sure everything stays on track, a Shadow escapes and finds the hero. Lies are revealed, and all goes well until a Sheikah goes there "searching" for the hero and they have to interact with Hylia. Anyways, anyone can tell there's something wrong with Hylia, including the princess. The (corrupt) goddess just has that offsetting aura around her. Link meets here and they formulate a plan when they know they aren't being listened to. Anyways, it takes two years but they get a lot of people on their side. (Ganon, Vaati, Ghirahim, the Twili, Rito, Zora, Goron, and Gerudo) Vaati and Zelda (who have become research buddies) devise a spell to remember past lives - and that's how they learned the curse was fake, because Hylia f-cked around with the first hero's memories a lot, and the spell undid it while keeping those fabricated memories. You may have noticed, but things are going too well.

Anyways, at a parade or festival for who knows what (certainly not me) the Sheikah - who were sharing "experimental" (read: tech they've been hogging) so even people who aren't there can watch it happening. This was all part of a plan made by the Sheikah because (somehow) replaced Ghirahim's earing with one that would mind control him. (think what happened to Ingo in OoT manga.) The plan was to control him and make him wreak havoc, make people not trust him, and by extension, Ganon. That doesn't work, because Link (and Shadow) manage to break the jewel. Hylia tries to do some sort of "what an evil barbaric individual" speech, but Link cuts her off and calls her out on her bullsh-t. Not just about the parade, but about everything - the fake curse, messing around with the first hero’s memories, creating villains for the hero and princess to defeat, having the Sheikah do dirty work in the shadows, manipulating a darkling for the sake of “testing” the hero, controlling the king’s free will - EVERYTHING. And remember those speakers and cameras the Sheikah were sharing? They broadcasted all of it to Hyrule. And because Link had always been a good person, helping people out of the kindness of his heart, a lot of people believed he was telling the truth. This is the start of the war.

The ruined parade is the battlefield, they win and push back Hylia this time because she was caught off guard. But now she knows what's happening, and she is p-ssed. After the start of the rebellion, it is the first time she infuses her magic with malice. A few more battles later, a major one at Korok Forest that gets the forest children involved, and the crew makes the decision to split the Triforce into eight pieces. Ganon, Zant, and Ghirahim each have 1/3 power, Zelda, Midna, and Vaati all have 1/3 wisdom, and Link and Shadow each have 1/2 courage. If Hylia wants the entire Triforce,  they're gonna make her chances of getting it as slim as possible.

One year into the war, and the scales haven't really tipped to either side. But Shadow (who was incapacitated and couldn't come out), Ganon, and Link were up against Hylia. Hylia uses an illusion on Link to make herself look like either a Marin or a past Zelda, and it makes Link freeze up and give Hylia a chance to attack and try to kill Link. Except that Ganon took the hit instead. Link snaps out of it, stuns Hylia, and tries retreating with Ganon. He doesn't get to Ghirahim in time, and so by the time Zelda can heal him, it's too late. With the demoralizing death of Ganon, things start to spiral downhill. Over the next three years they lost Vaati, Zant, and almost Midna. The only small victory that happened was Shadow breaking the mirror the Sheikah had forced bonded them to, and would mean that the Sheikah wouldn't be able to just count on Shadow stumbling out of there when he died anymore. (Shadow thought this meant his next death would be his last.)

Four more years after that, there are more fights and they get pushed back more and more. Somehow (haven't figured out how yet) they get in contact with the main three goddesses (Din, Nayru, Farore) and Hyrule will be sealed underground by them, Hylia with it. They know this won't be permanent, and hope it buys them enough time for the next reincarnation cycle to happen. As they leave, they're being followed by Hylia and the Sheikah. Link and Shadow make a decision to stay behind and make sure Hylia stays underground until the sealing. They know they're going to die doing this, but the worse they hurt Hylia, the longer it will take for her to break the seal.

The other leaders try to argue to let somebody else do it (mainly Zelda and Midna), but Link argues back that Hyrule needs their leaders, and Ghirahim made a promise to Ganon, one he can't keep if he's trapped or dead. So Zelda caves and creates a bow of light with enough charge for five arrows. The other leaders (and Ghira) all add some of their own magic to it, and Link and Shadow head off. The next part is going to be ripped directly from my notes because I'm lazy I don't know how else to phrase it.

Once they get to where the Sheikah are, Shadow immediately starts using the shadows to teleport and starts killing large amounts of them. Link kills whoever is foolish enough to attack him head-on swiftly with the Master Sword. They carve a path to Hylia.

The fight with Hylia is long and brutal. It is clear now that Hylia is using malice and is clearly affected by it. Malice-like pink is spreading on her along with one of her eyes becoming a malice eye. And it has not done anything for her sanity.

Hylia sends a lethal blast of light magic into Shadow and Link is covered in Malice injuries

Link gets separated from the Master Sword. Hylia is about to land the finishing blow on him when Shadow - who is currently dying btw - picks up the Master Sword (which is actively burning his hands and speeding up his death) and stabs her from behind. Shadow says something and Link uses the Light Bow. One shot in the head, one shot in the throat, one shot in the heart, one shot in the stomach, and one shot right on the master sword - which causes a beam affect that they learned about in one of the war’s earlier battles. Hylia isn’t dead, but she won’t be recovering for a while.

Link and Shadow share some final words before dying.

I still need to figure out the actual plot and stuff, but uh, if you read to the end, I hope you enjoyed! ^_^ 

(Ps: if there’s anything triggering or stuff, ask for me to tag and I will)

[lily-lilou]

My understanding and analysis of the magical system in The Dragon Prince. Part 2. Primal, dark, love and life magic.

So, this second post (here’s the first one) will present my theory about this: about the magical system as a whole thing (more or less), about love and life magic, I will explain why it’s two different things, what’s their place in the magical system, their role, about how they're supposed to work.

1st part. what proof, in the show, do we have about another kind of magic?

Well, take a look at this:

The two pictures are when Avizandum and Zym are attacking, with lightning. they are the exact same colors (cool, nothing exceptional, Lily, really cool...)

Yeah, but now look at this, when Zym is trying to wake up (maybe even heal?) his mom:

See all the colors, here? We have white, green, blue, purble, some kind of pink-orange-yellow...: well, every colors, as if every kind of primal magic were present. And I don't think it's just to make things pretty here.

Because it's not the only time we see this phenomenon, where “all the colors” are here. There’s two other examples:

1st look at when Viren is sucking what I suppose is Zym's life/magic's force out of our dragonling:

Once again, we can see all the colors, like with Zym's lightning to wake up his mom.

But the most impressive example is when Zym’s egg is hatching:

The egg was dead (he had turned black for several minutes) we saw some usual lightning (blue) who then changed with all colors and he literraly turned back to life:

So, from the interview linked in the post before (at 9min00 or something), we know there is that "earlier, less differenciated power", a "kind of magic that's deeper". With this statement (“less differenciated power”) and pictures above, it seems we have a magic who looks like a mix of all primal magic. I will even say it’s “life-magic”.

edit: 

I found this following pictures in “the art of the dragon prince”. Here, the colors are even more differenciable. And there is indeed, six of them (white(a little blue), yellow, green, purple, red and blue (I guess respectively sky, moon, earth, stars, sun and ocean)

2nd part. What is “life-magic”?

I said what we saw above is “life-magic” and it could make sense:

First, because of all the colors we saw (as I said, as if all kind of primal magic were here).

Second: just observe the world, how it works: the sun, the moon, the earth, the ocean, the sky (and I guess the stars too) need to work together to bring life. (Hey, what is the sun, alone, if not a giant useless fire ball? What is the earth without the sun to warm it, the ocean to irrigate it? Doesn't the ocean need the earth to contain it? et caetera...)

(still in the same interview above) we know Aaravos sutdied magic deeply, that he was interested in this "deeper, less differenciated magic" they mentionned. So, "life magic" being a mix of all others magic would makes even more sense if Aaravos is the one (from the artbook we can guess he has at least a hand in it) behind this symbol (because it would represent “life” it more or less perfectly):

Plus, you'll notice another thing when Aaravos and Viren tried to kill Zym, Viren's eyes became, while he was filling himself with Zym's “life”, just like those of Aaravos in S2:

If I'm right, Aaravos could have known there is a deeper magic and so find a way to harvest it with dark magic. It could explain why he tried to reach other arcanum, to reach that "deeper magic", that "life". (or maybe he doesn't know it's "life"? too early to say anything here, I guess)

(speaking aside, another theory of mine is that he harvested other primal creatures to gain their power and so reach others arcanum, which would also explain why every Xadian hates and fear him - which also could mean he was trying to give this to Viren, the sky arcanum, I mean... anyway, that's not the topic yet.)

BUT, stating that Life-magic is composed of all primal magic only is maybe true, but incomplete.

I just said this symbol (yes again, I love it):

Could be “life magic”. But if “life-magic” is only composed of all kind of primal magic… what does that giant rune in the middle is for?

Dark magic, you’ll said.

Dark magic? But we said earlier that dark magic is the exact opposite of “life-magic”. Because it’s “death and hate”, when the other is “life and love”.

…

Wait, love? The big rune in the middle would be “love”?

Exactly! (I promise, we’ll dig into this in the following part)

“love is magic, magic is life, so love is life”.

(PS. Again: “love is magic” is something you can find in Callum’s spellsbook several time. It’s not from me)

But in dark magic, no love, so no life. Why? Think at how dark magic works: it's killing and stealing and it hollows you from the inside (more about this in the part dedicated to dark-magic). I would even say: It's stealing life from others, so the price you have to pay is to lose your own (life-life? life-love? Viren became so hateful with time... but I'm digressing.)

So, now, look at Zym again when he's trying to save/wake up his mom.

We find all these colors, but he's not like Aaravos, he never reached any other arcanum. I mean, he can barely control his own. I think in that moment, Zym isn't using his usual lightning but, maybe without even knowing it, he's digging in that life-love magic because he loves his mom, he wants to help her, to save her. So something else, something big is happening.

And it would be wonderful if his attempt to wake her is the true reason she wakes up at the end of S3...

I would even add Aaravos’s quote before I conclued the end of this 2nd part: “Those who fail the test of love are simple animals, that deserved to be motivated by fear". It could means Aaravos know, to some extent, the existence, or maybe the importance of love in magic. And if he’s really behind the symbol above… (but I won’t digress on my theory about Aaravos and magic and the test of love, because it’s not the subject either and this post is already long enough…)

So, conclusion of this part: true "life magic" would be composed on all primal magic AND love. (That, or "true life magic" is composed of all primal magic and the way to reach it without killing others is love. I would also makes sense but we’ll see when we will talk about “love magic”)

3rd part: what is “love-magic?

I just said that the symbol of dark magic could in fact represent the magical system, and so “life magic” and the rune in the middle would be the representation of “love”.

Nice statement! Any proof? Let’s analyze this closely, then!

On the symbol, we can see two things:

1st, all the primal magic.

2nd, a big rune in the middle. Until now, we thought it was a rune representing dark magic, I just stated it wasn’t, that it could be “love”.

When I said that on Reddit, a nice fella, u/randomorph came with his own theory, here: he proposed the interesting idea that the two soulfangs we can see in the endcredits in S1 with a heart above their head (meaning "love"), just look like the symbol/rune of dark magic.

One one part, soulfangs serpent seems dark-magic related in some aspects, but on the other part, what we see here, it's love. Two serpents who are in love.

So if that dark-magic's rune above is inspired by the two soulfangs, it could really be the proof the very rune of dark magic means, is, in fact, the rune of "love". (And maybe that Aaravos doesn’t fully understand what “love” truly is... but once again, that’s another theory...)

Sidenote: another nice fella thought that the two serpents are also similar to “Caduceus”, the symbol used in the medical world, with the two serpents. I still don’t know exactly what to do with this, but the parallel is interesting. And it wouldn’t be the first similarity with the bible.

4th part: how is this love-magic supposed to work? (I'll talk about dark magic later)

Nice, we have now proof (well, more or less, it’s still a big theory who could end up being totally wrong) that we have a life-magic, composed of primal magic and love magic, with a dark magic who’s strangely not fitting in this…

But for now, what about love-magic?

I had a theory I couldn't prove a while ago and I had let it down: I thought that "love" was the kind of magic humans could really do. But I had let it down because Xadians have proven they can love too. And I also had to place Callum and his arcanum in this.

BUT! thanks to u/the_mad_ and his superb theory here, we have proof now. To summarise it partially (but go read it, it's worth it): humans have some special kind of power, they can create a magical connection with other, it's "love-magic", and dark magic is a corrupted version of it (but once again, I'll abord dark magic later). As he said it "humans can do this special form of magic because humans have (or can form) a special magical connection with each other and with other creatures and objects, in particular through love (and empathy)".

And indeed, we saw this three time, especially in the novel.

We saw this with Marcos when he made a connection with Rayla (it's the-mad interpretation since we have the scene from Rayla’s POV and I totally agree with him ^^),

Ezran made a connection with Zym while in the water, in the frozen lake.

Viren made one with Harrow in the novel, and it ended really bad for him because Harrow rejected him. (no really, I insist, go read his post).

And all these connections are more or less described in the same magical way.

u/the_mad_ also mentionned Ezran's power as a more visible, powerful manifestation of this love-magic humans can perform. I had that HC too, I never agree with the idea of our boy being earth-primal-related, because in Callum's spellsbook, it's never said earthblood elves can talk to animals. In fact, no primal-magic seems to really fit with this power.

But with love-magic, it does.

But… what about Xadians? They can also love. The moonfam is a proof of this, Janai and the dragon queen too. Well, yes, it's love, and yes everyone can love, without exception. But for Xadian it's not necesseraly magical because it's not their magic. Xadians have primal magic and humans love-magic.

So, to summarize this part: humans have a magic on their own. It's love, but not usual love**, it's something that gave them the ability to "link" themselves to others, even to link others together**, but that's another part.

5th part, how love and primal magic works? What happen when separated? What happen when reunited?

Thanks again to u/the_mad, I finally found an explanation (I could be totally wrong but let's just say I'm at least not far from the truth... hem!!)

Take a look again at what I now call the "life-magic" symbol, formerly called "dark-magic symbol" (it’s the last time you’ll see it, I promise ^^):

The important part now is the big circle (in white) in the middle, circling "love" and connecting all primal magic. The important part now, is this "connection". It's as if "love" is the link between all primal magic, as if love it's what makes them work together.

u/the_mad_ talked about love-magic connecting people, which seems to be true. But I think it's not only between individuals. If this theory is right, that connection could be applied in a much larger scale. I would even said it concernes the whole world.

So, what did I mean by "love-magic is connecting all primal magic? Well...:

In HBMP ep2, Aaron Ehasz talked about how Xadians live in their part of the world, and it appears they're not really cohabitating together. They know each other, they know about each other, but it doesn't seem to be more than that.

In HBMP ep5, we even learn that there's probably several Mooshadow village in the forest other than the Silvergrove, and they don't know where all the others are. They're not "connected", not really.

We also have a description of Ibis on the official website, where we learn that "He has long been a liaison between elves and dragons", which could mean the two species aren't that close.

And what about the "I know that sound, that's not a good sound" from Rayla when she heard the dragon roar?... that reveal a lot about relationship between elves and dragons... (plus, still in HBMPep2, Aaron teased a story who happened between Rayla, Runaan and a dragon, which would explain the quote just above (personal theory: the dragon is the reason of Runaan’s torso scar). But alas, j.Richmond stopped him before we could get more. my HC is that Runaan's scars came from here, which would add to the idea elves and dragons aren't always getting along.)

Another proof would be the dragonguard, elven warriors, running away when the dragon king died. They didn't care about Zym's fate. (Except for Lain and Tiadrin, but I'm gonna talk about this later)

I would add how the other moonshadow elves except Runaan, in the novelization, showed how... deeply attached they were to Rayla. A child they saw growing up for almost 16 years. Worst of all, Moon magic, according to Callum's spellsbook, is supposed to be love-related. If that's "love" for any lambda Moonshadow elf, don't show me what "hate" is for them, please!

(and here my... approximative localisation of elves in Xadia...)

All these points lead to this: we don't have yet a whole picture of Xadia, but it seems that Xadians are not close to each other, in a matter of relationship. It's not war or anything like that, it more looks like a huge lack of socialisation, lack of relationship.

So, no humans = no love-magic = no connection. It seems coherent. Xadians never approached humans, they studied them from afar (I had found a super analysis on Tumblr about informations each side has on the other, about how it seems elves have more accurate intel on humans than humans on Xadians - but sorry, I can't find it anymore :() they even bannished humans and look at the result: Xadians are separated from each other, barely interacting it seems. Dragons from elves, elves from elves according to their arcanum. Xadia is stagnant.

But now, what happened when Xadians get close to humans, when they work with them?

At the storm spire, one human boy (ok, it's Ezran, not any human could have done this) brought several dragons to fight alongside sunfire elves and humans to fight an army of monsters, (not sure if Ibis would have achieved this alone)

Callum started to talk through Rayla about that toxic cycle in the beginning of S1, and it touched her profundly (as we can see at the end of S2). He and his brother managed to touch her to the core and it changed her on a lot of aspects. She's more healthy now, everyone can agree on that...

Her contact with Villads changed her

And talking about their quest, they literally changed the world (... ok, it's only the beginning but the idea that 3 children, a baby and a unidentified glowing thing stopped an imminent war does talk a lot about what both sides reunited can do).

We can also see Janai changing (I wonder if she got "linked" to Amaya the way u/the_mad_ talked about in his theory about love-magic). She first wanted to kill her enemy, and she ended saving her, fighting with her (and maybe slowly falling in love with her, but that's another story)

Side note to complete this part: what's happening to humans, while separated from Xadians? Look at how humans live in their side of the border. The five kingdoms came to an alliance, but the  land is mostly deprived of primal magic, probably because there's almost no elves or dragon. it's slowly dying, physically-materially speaking. (remember that famine who would have killed hundred of thousand people 9 years ago)

Conclusion for this part :

1.     Xadians need humans to be linked, they need "love" to be and work together and not being separated from each other. Just like Humans needs Xadians to "live".

2.     Xadians and humans are currently separated from each other, and they both lost something, they're both missing something. And for them all to be complete, for them to live, they need to be together.

6th part : if Xadians have primal magic and humans love-magic, why can Callum use primal magic? Could a Xadian use Love-magic?

I've stated that Magic is life. If magic is life, then it's in everything that's alive. Which mean, everyone, Xadians and humans, have everything in them. Humans and Xadians have both love-magic and primal magic in them.

But just like Xadians are naturally born with a connection to a primal source, humans have a natural one on the 7th: love.

From this, it seems logical that a human can reach an arcanum, since it's in him too. It's just... dormant, passive. If he wants to reach this other side, he needs to forge a connection.

And so, the opposite could totally be true, a Xadian could forge a connection to love-magic.

Okay, but how does it works? Why didn't this happened earlier?

Once again, I think it's related to what I said: both sides need to work together, to learn by proximity from each other. A true relationship. Callum first started to learn about Xadians by being close to Rayla and Zym. He trusts them, loves them. I don't know everything that's necessary to reach an arcanum as a human, but I think this close proximity, this trust in the other side, incarnate in Zym and Rayla, count.

And so? Can a Xadian use love-magic?

Logically, yes, and I think we have already an example : Zym

Zym who was born amongst humans and elves. Zym who's connected to an arcanum by birth, and to love by Ezran.

It's only my HC here, once again, but the bond they're sharing is too deep to be just from Ezran. I mean, Zym can literally reach Ezran when he's afraid, the boy can see through his eyes. I think Ezran and him are so profundly connected not only because Ezran linked himself to the dragonling, but also because Zym connected himself to him because he learned that "love-magic" by being with them.

The other proof (well, once again it’s HC^^’) to that, is that Zym seems to have litterally used life-magic on his mother. (remember life-magic = love + primal magic - remember how his lightning were different when he used them on his mother than when he attacked Viren, and all) And I still have that HC that she wake up in the end because he used it.

Anyway!

What about the moonfam? (take this part as some kind of side note? It’s still incomplete and full of imprecise HC. I'm wating for S4 to see more of them)

Well, that point is tricky. The moonfam is Xadian but has "love" as a really, reeeaaaally strong thema.

- it has been officially stated than Runaan loves Rayla deeply. After some researches, we can find several interesting things about him to realise how "love" is indeed a strong thing here. Like the fact he never planned to kill Rayla (post from the lead-writer at wonderstorm), or his thoughts described in HBMP ep5 (here’s some excerpts:

" [...] And I think those are the types of things that he’s still stewing on. Like, did he overstep? Was he so eager to give her the opportunity to prove herself that he ultimately put her in a position where she could not succeed? [...] I think he took her off the mission both because he very, very much wanted to give himself and the others a chance to complete the mission, even if it meant their deaths, but it also meant that Rayla had the chance to survive. Even if it was potentially going to be misinterpreted and she’d get slapped with the Ghosting. I think he believed that her alive was better than everybody being dead. And I think he feels guilty. [...] Again, a lot of time to potentially stew on and reflect on, is that he does feel like he put her in a position that was not fully taking into account the type of person she was, and more projecting onto her the type of person he wanted her to be, and the gift he wanted to give her, of redeeming herself in the eyes of her people for her parents. And I think he’s gonna have to work through that. Poor dude"

We can also add the feelings he shows, in the novel, toward who I totally assume being Tiadrin and Lain when he saw their coins. He loves them, he still loves them even with, until now, he thought they had betrayed them (which means, for me, that his insult to Rayla in the novel, about her parents, is really an attempt to make her leave instead or staying and being killled _ pure HC again, could be wrong...

PS. thanks again @beautifulterriblequeen and @kotikala for this point :))

Ethari lost Runaan and made a mistake, but in the end he chose Rayla by (HC again, here) breaking the rules and talk to her, to understand what happened. He told her he loves her at the end of S3ep3. Him, giving her that moon opal while telling her what he said to Runaan, means the same for her "my love will be with you even when the moon is not", meaning "I still love you no matter what".

Lain and Tiadrin (thanks again for this HC @beautifulterriblequeen) know what it is to love a child, because they have Rayla. That's also why they stayed to protect Zym, not just because of their oath.

And don't make me start about Rayla and love, about how she loves Ezran, Callum and Zym, so much that she can sacrifice herself to protect the wee cutie ^^

(well, Idk if describing all of this about Runaan is as necessary on Tumblr than it can be on Reddit...)

But once again, is this magical-love or is it just a strong, normal love?

I’m still not sure of the answer. I would say it is probably "normal" (strong, but normal). But it could evolve to "love-magic" at some point, maybe even "life magic".

I guess (a huge, vague guess), that to reach "the other side" (primal magic for a human, or love-magic for a Xadian), you need to have some proximity with someone from the other side and what I would call... predisposition? Callum had definitely an affinity with primal magic from the very beginning (if not "predisposition", maybe "destiny" will fit, then? For this part, I really don't know, as I said, it's pure guess.)

But if predisposition is required, then the moonfam could totally fit to reach "love-magic" and maybe "life-magic", since there is such strong love between each of them.

And, who know (once again it’s a huuuge guess), maybe those who are related to the moon have some kind of natural predisposition?

I think this way because of my current (still have to work on this point) interpretation of the moon arcanum. We do know they’re love-related. We can see it here, in Callum’s Spellsbook:

My HC here is that “love-magic” is partly about linking, connection. And the moon arcanum, in his duality, is also about the connection between life and death, between living beings and dead ones. So, yeah, maybe they do have a predisposition...

But how would they reach that “love-magic” exactly? I dunno. Maybe Viren will capture Rayla and taunt her with the coins and they will free themselves from it, out of love for her because she's the most precious life for all her parents? (I still have that theory where Harrow will talk to Runaan in the coin to make him evolve the way he did while facing his last days)

Or maybe it will be Callum who will free them, don't know how, out of love for Rayla? Or Lain and Tiadrin would be some kind of "genius" who doesn't needs humans to reach the “love arcanum”, because they love Rayla so much, and they have the mind of a protector, and they were ready to die to protect Zym... that would fit with the "reward-theory" and "destiny"... arf! another aspect I have to study here. I really don't know. We'll see this in S4, I hope.

Anyway, that's it for the moonfam!

Now! We've established what love-magic could be and where it stands in the magical system. How it works.

But what about dark magic?

Last part: Dark magic in the magical system.

u/the_mad_, in his theory I mentionned, advanced the idea that dark magic is a perverted version of love magic.

He thinks so because these "magical moments" he mentionned, when people are magically "linked", are described in a similar way than using dark magic, which add a point to his thought about dark-magic being love-magic but corrupted.

I mostly agreed with him, but I would push his theory even further (I thought about this during the night, in fact, and I couldn't sleep and then... "ting"!):

the effects of dark magic, using it is described in a similar way that "love-magic", when a connection is made between two beings.

dark magic also uses primal magic.

I’m still hesitating about that interpretation, however. She’s pretty solid, but I’m bothered by a point: something similar to love-magic AND using primal magic? that does sound a little like what I call “life-magic”, no? So what if more than being a corrupted version of Love-magic, dark magic is a corrupted version of life-magic?

A corrupted version who gives a mimic of life magic but in the end, desecrate it. Dark magic means stealing, killing. It's death. And it's not normal death, as a part of the life-death cycle. It's something else. That could explain why Callum feels it's so "wrong". He values life, he's a lot about love.

The dream he made about dark magic is really interesting, too. Somehow, that evil version of him lied to him. (I still save a room for the idea that it wasn't him but something else disguised as him,) telling him he can't do magic, that dark magic is the only way. If you think about it, the message given by that... thing, is : "you love them, you want to protect them, you want them to live, then use dark magic because it's the only way for you".

But dark magic is a corrupted version of life, it's literally "death".

Okay, but you'll tell me that Viren and Claudia used it to save someone who was dead. Yep, but to do it they killed someone else (for Viren it's a theory a lot of us belive). I'm pretty sure "life-magic" doesn't work this way. Callum didn't kill anyone when he broke the primal stone to save Zym and then, at some point, we saw "life magic" (it's in the post I linked in the beginning). I mean, Zym was dead. The egg was black. But he came back to life.

Zubeia was dying too, but it seems, once again if I'm right, that Zym saved her with life magic. He didn't kill anyone.

I said once ("epiphany on the moon arcanum", if I remember...) Darkness is an emptiness of light, death, an emptiness of life.

So, why not? How do you kill death? with life....

An additional thought about Dark magic :

Once again, thanks to The_mad_ on Reddit, we got an interesting analysis: he noted that the seven sources are similar to the creation, in the story of Genesis. God created the world in six days:

“The only one that isn't directly mentioned is the stars. On the first day God separated day from night. (This presumably gave the stars.) On the second day God created the sky. On the third God separated the earth from the ocean. On the fourth day God created the Sun and the Moon. There is no primal source (that we know of ;) ) for the 5th day when the sea monsters were created. But then on the 6th day God created humans and gave them dominion over all of the creatures of the earth (i.e. Dark magic). On the seventh day God rested. »

So I pushed the analysis further:

On the 5th and especially 6th day God created living beings, especially humans. And when you put all of his creation together, all the days, it's "life" (Just earease one of these elements and there wouldn't be life anymore _ok, human's place in the world's ecosystem could be discussed but that’s not the topic... so let's say humans are the soul, the spirit, and the world the body... or something.)

Much later after God finished his creation, a shadow, the devil, came and infiltrate the world to make humans "fall". (Now that I'm pointing that out, it's pretty much the same in LOTR, no?... anyway). He made them fall with lies.

So now, let's suppose that these theories about a "love-magic" and a "life-magic" are accurate and that parallel between genesis and TDP’s magical system has a solid ground, that maybe "love" is indeed a source in itself, like the others (In genesis, it would correspond to the 6th day, when God created humans).

Now, I wonder. If it's this way, if the parallel between Genesis and TDP's seven sources is that strong, then, could "dark-magic" be "the shadow" who made humans fall?

I think it could be this way for two reasons:

1st. dark magic appeared, it seems, at the very least 2000 years ago with the rise of Elarion (maybe earlier, but probably not 5000 years ago, during the era of the first elves), just like the devil in Genesis did (I mean, about the fact he came later, not at the begining).

2nd, we saw the... dark-mage-Callum, that sort of... evil avatar of him, in his dream, literally lying to Callum himself about humans not able to do primal magic. (that, if it wasn't just his own belief impersonated. We still don't know yet).

And so, Dark Magic, being a person or a "thing", a concept, I don't know, would really be something else, something corrupted who perverted and disturbed the world.

Okay, this post is the last one, it’s finally over!! Thank you for those who had the courage to read it until the end!!! I hope I didn’t bothered you too much ^^

It was a little difficult to put all in one thing (all of this are in fact several post on Reddit) so I hope the continuity is coherent. I’m working on this since ... ARGH! 5 hours? Okay, I’m gonna eat something.

I hope you had fun to read this :D

Now, to the kitchen! I’m Hungry!

edit: I forgot to tag @beautifulterriblequeen​ and @kotikala​: what do you think of this? 

External POV are awlays welcomed (but don’t feel obligated to read it, I know it’s pretty long... wait, if I tag and this message is in the end... will you see it right away?)

[bisluthq]

I was thinking about it, and Taylor is practically out at this point to anyone who's willing to see it. There's no het explanation for Gold Rush, or Dorothea, or even Seven tbh. She looked us dead in the eye, said "gay pride makes me me", and then deliberately included that in her documentary. She even explained to us what happened with Karlie, in the Entertainment Weekly August interview, in Closure, in Its Time To Go. I do get the people that say "I wish she would do more for the LGBTQ+ community", but I do not get the people that need a stronger signal or something. This is it, she's been doing this since Breathe. She is practically screaming it at any and everyone who is willing to listen. She's with Joe, she did not need to write or release any of those songs I name checked above, but she did. I totally agree with your read on it, she is bi and she is in what she thinks is her endgame relationship. She's not going to "officially" come out unless they break up and she gets with a woman, but she did soft-come out for anyone who was willing to see it during Lover, and she has leaned further into it rather than distancing herself with Miss Americana, Folklore, and Evermore. She did not need to talk about long hair in Gold Rush. She did not need to call Dorothea "honey". Five years after kissgate, if gay rumors did bother her then she wouldn't do any of this stuff but she's choosing to, over and over. As far as I'm concerned, she's out, for anyone who'll see it. She's not terrified and she's not hiding. If people want to say she should be even more courageous, and she should come out officially then sure whatever I'm not going to speak on that. But when people still say she's "ashamed" of herself or she might be straight or she's just terrified and big bad Tree Paine (whose salary Taylor pays) is FORCING her into the closet it's like come on. Look at her choices for the past three years. We know she's on the internet, we know she knows what we're saying about her, she could have made it ANYTHING, but no, she stood in a glass closet in the Willow music video. I feel like you agree with >80% of what I'm saying (PLEASE correct me if I'm wrong) so I'm not ranting at you, but for fucks sake. What more do people want. She has told us over and over again and again that she's not straight. Also, this is probably all she's going to do for the near future, and I personally am not going to begrudge her for living her one and only life the way she feels most comfortable. It seems like people want "more" from her and it's like what do you want her to do, drape herself in rainbows and dance around the country? Oh wait, she's already done that.

I agree with way more than 80% of what you’re saying. The most likable - least deluded, least mean, least egotistical - Taylor is a bi!Tay. It means she’s not a dirty liar like the gold stars claim and it also means she didn’t make gay pride about herself because she’s a nutty straight lady like the hets say. Just v simply.

Look if she comes out and says she’s bi/fluid she will face so much garbage that like... for why? It will not be enough for a lot of the gatekeepers and it will be far too much for the right wing and a lot of standard eye roll at Tay types will say she’s done it for “attention”.

I mean Harry is out even louder than she is. He explicitly said, in answer to whether he uses queer coding as baiting, that he does not. His close friend and mentor explicitly talked about him dating men and women in Rolling Stone. He has said “we’re all a bit gay”. He regularly drapes himself in bi flags and has been on national tv with bi colored nails. And people still don’t believe him. Now someone can say “oh it’s because he hasn’t said the magic word bi” but like.... if he does, do we really think that much will change in terms of how he gets discussed? People will still eye roll.

Tay seems to be pretty openly living her truth rn. She didn’t “hetsplain” heavily queer coded songs like seven and let’s see what she says about Dorothea and Gold Rush. But like. So far she hasn’t.

Like you say WHAT MORE DO PEOPLE WANT and WHY do they want it? Because it doesn’t seem to be for Taylor lmao she is fine. Is it to get more bi representation? If that’s your point like... boost out people who have a glass ceiling Tay doesn’t rn. Is it because you think she’s a lesbian? I mean we don’t know what she identifies as in her heart of hearts but she has dated and evidently cared about men so I don’t think she would come out as that anyway so manifest more lesbians in music and support the girls currently out and proud.

Or is it just to prove we’re right? Because that’s a shitty reason to want someone we respect, admire and highkey love to expose themselves to oodles of hate tbh.

PS one thing I semi disagree with is the glass closet in willow which to me is more a metaphor on fame and getting stuck and stuff. But you’re right in that if she was trying to get rid of gay rumors she wouldn’t keep referencing fucking closets she isn’t stupid 😭🤷🏻‍♀️

[atopearth]

Ar Tonelico: Melody of Elemia Part 1 - Aurica & Misha (Phase 1)

PHASE 1

Okay, I am beyond excited. I honestly never thought I'd be able to play my favourite PS2 games ever again after I moved houses, because I can't for the life of me find my old PS2 that could play copied games, all the wires and some of the games, and I can't buy these games anymore either, so I was literally so sad and nearly cried when I first realised this. But then I realised that we could get PS emulators now and play the games!! Honestly so thankful and happy right now because omg it's so beautiful to know I can finally properly finish these games again!! Anyway, I still remember Shurelia and Lyner very well, I loved how cool Shurelia was, whereas I can't remember much about Lyner so he's probably the average protagonist that gets all the girls lmao. I'm not sure if I'll bother playing each Reyvateil "route" but I do know who I picked as a kid so I'm definitely going to pick her again. It's kinda funny, I wonder if this is when my bro and I decided to each choose our favourites and play through them so we could both see the different stories haha. I just remember he liked the shy brown hair Reyvateil and I loved the blue hair childhood friend, I can't remember their names anymore but I still love them hahaha. And if I remember correctly, Shurelia should have a short story/route, but I remember diving into her cosmosphere was weird because she's kinda like the old type of Reyvateil haha, so I was sad about that but it doesn't matter, it's Shurelia, everyone loves her!

On to the story itself! Lyner is pretty childish but he's a typical teenager protagonist so I'll just ignore it lol. On another note, dang, the art and character design and everything still looks good to this day imo. It's sad that Shurelia and Ayatane had to stay behind to fend off viruses that I can't really kill off until Lyner goes and gets the Hymn Crystal Purger, but I guess they can't really allow these viruses to run around into town, so as long as they stay in the Tower where I assume Shurelia has tried to seal them for many years, it should hopefully be fine~ Poor Lyner got his airship broken the moment he left though, but I guess that's how journeys begin haha. Lmao at Aurica (that's the name of the brown hair girl!!) healing Lyner with her Reyvateil magic/song and then running off when he wakes up, she's so cute lol. Kinda sad to see Reyvateil treated so badly by organisations like Tenba, like wow, the abuse is rampant. The village is pretty unreasonable to make Lyner kill their monsters to get his airship back but I guess that's just how desperate they are? Still don't like them. LMAO when Lyner went to learn grathmelding, the grandpa joked around saying Lyner's reward for learning it was his granddaughter hahaha.

Well, I guess it's good to help the village, because now they're willing to take care of the broken airship until Lyner finds someone who can fix it. Anyway, did Jack like Misha or something? I can't remember🤔 Lmao, Jack is so slack to Aurica, like yeah she's gloomy but I can empathise with her😭 Okay, I gotta agree with Jack though, Claire is definitely much hotter than Aurica, just the fact that she runs a bar by herself and tries her best to be strong and independent already makes me like her lol. On the other hand, why is Misha with Tenba, was she being manipulated or controlled or something? Anyway, the moment I saw Misha, I fell in love with her again, like wow, her design is so beautiful and unique, I could never pick someone else over her. I feel so sorry for her that Lyner can't remember her though, because I'm pretty sure she really likes him🥺 I can't remember the story but I guess we'll know when we can dive into her. Lyner is rash, super reckless and honest to a fault, but that honesty is a good thing I guess haha. The fact that he can't take people in Tenba badmouthing Reyvateil like they're tools that can be scrapped when they don't seem to be crafting good magic would make anyone mad, but Lyner refuses to sit by and listen to that, which is pretty admirable of him tbh.

With the way people react to others going into the Dive shop in the middle of the day with a Reyvateil, you'd be thinking they were doing something R rated lol, but they're just getting to know each other so it's kinda weird to have that kind of stigma, I mean I'm pretty sure going at night is weirder?! Anyway, I have to agree with Misha, Firefly Alley is a scary place, just thinking about being near all those propellers and falling down is crazyyy. It's kinda funny, but I remember Spica (Misha's friend that sells good stuff) but I don't remember the chainsaw girl lmao, I feel like she looks familiar but that's all hahah. It's so hilarious but brave of Misha to tell Lyner to dive into her so they can craft magic to break the wall and leave to go to Nemo without Bourd and them on their tail. Considering how bold she is, it's crazy that it's her first time, but since diving is such a personal thing, I honestly doubt Misha would let anyone aside from Lyner dive into her. I gotta agree with Hama (Misha's cosmosphere mind guardian) slapping Lyner for saying he's only in there because Misha told him to dive in, like excuse you Lyner?! You do realise the one that's being invaded and the one that has to feel vulnerable and everything is Misha right?! Have some tact lol! But I guess Lyner is slow, so it was normal of him to not have realised that it was a bigger deal than he thought, especially since Misha seemed so nonchalant about it. Misha's Level 1 Cosmosphere is so nostalgic though, I remember it so well, because I think it was a really nice contrast to see the brave and cool Misha in real life compared to the vulnerable one in the cosmosphere who is scared of revealing her true self to Lyner. It was nice to see him encourage her and to tell her that he wants to know her better, I mean it's sad that he can't remember her but you can't help things you can't remember I guess...

Krusche and Misha arguing all the time is pretty cute lol, I think it was even better when they worked together to open a door and made bets the whole time making them shout each other food if they got things wrong haha. Misha really is such a great girl to be so scared of heights but try her best to save Aurica. As usual though, Lyner is pretty crazy to jump and save Aurica when she was falling, like dang, they're lucky Krusche was nearby to catch them with her airship. Anyway, lmao at Aurica's naming sense and that fireball she made😂 I feel like Lyner is way more encouraging towards Aurica than he was with Misha before though, I guess it helps when it's obvious that she's troubled, whereas Misha being capable made him slow to realise a lot of things? Awww, Aurica cares so much about Lyner. She crafted blue magic in the real world because she wanted to protect him so much🥺 He's honestly really reckless though, he really could have died with the Hymn Crystal Purger, he's lucky Jack saved him. Honestly though, the more I play this, the more I feel like Lyner's type is Aurica and I'm so sadddd😭 I mean, I like Aurica too because she's so cute, but Misha😭😭

Lmao at how much it would cost Krusche to fix Lyner's airship, back to trying to climbing the tower back to Platina instead~ Well, I didn't expect Claire to really sing a song, her voice was beautiful! I'm glad she's out of Tenba and doing what she wants now, I feel sorry for any Reyvateil stuck in Tenba. Honestly, considering how self-sacrificing Misha was before for Aurica, I would have expected Lyner to care a little more of the possibility that Misha might be hurt or dead from one of the Hexagonal plates falling off and landing in Tenba where Bourd and them were having a meeting. I'm starting to think he really doesn't deserve Misha lolll. Anyway, the virus/Reyvateil Mir sounds familiar, was she one the girls in the next game? A Reyvateil utopia sounds about right if she was also once oppressed by people like Tenba. I honestly can't remember much about Ayatane but I do feel like I remember he disliked Lyner for being the one that protected Shurelia when he feels that he's so much more capable which is understandable considering he seems to be obsessed with her too. Well, the President of Tenba looks very...wow haha. Ooh I remember Misha looking super great as her real age, but she's great the way she is. Anyway, considering that Tenba experiments on Reyvateil, I hope Radolf talks about this with the church, but I guess I'm not sure if the church even has the power to destroy them even if they were so inhumane. Well, dang, Demon Aurica looks like a spider devil or something lol. I'm not surprised there's a part of Aurica that hates Claire though, it's understandable because she feels so inadequate compared to her. It's interesting to read the other bits in the cosmosphere that aren't as important, because omg, Aurica actually really liked this Knight guy before and she got rejected so terribly, that's sad.. I love Aurica's images of Radolf and Krusche, they're so silly🤣 Misha as a student body president is cute lol, and Shurelia(?) is there too?? Lol. Anyway, I like the cat on top of a vacuum, it's so cute. Lmao, okay wasting 900DP to find out that Aurica is a cat fanatic is hilarious, the idea of her rolling around with cats when no one is looking is so funny😂

I'm so glad climbing the Tower led to saving Misha, her breaking down and crying was so heartbreaking, she's really suffered😭 On the other hand, lmao at these residents up here cooking chicken, I just stole all their food✌️Lol at the trial though, it's literally just to test your strength! I'm sure Jack and them could do it too. Anyway, I never realised the Tower was called the Tower of Ar Tonelico, and oh wow, it's pretty cool that in between the Lower World and the Upper World is the Frozen Eye that separates the two so they're actually not physically attached. Oh wow, so Misha being the Star Singer meant she was the one singing her Chronicle Key song to keep all the viruses out, but because her song was stolen and she can't sing it anymore, the viruses are now attacking Platina. How sad though? She has to sing for eternity to keep world peace but what about her? Ooh, Jack left the Teru Tribe because they were too fixated on rules even when they were on the brink of destruction huh? I guess it's understandable why he would be annoyed, he's seeing so many people close to him die and he can't even use the technology that could possibly save them because of some covenant with Elemia. On the other hand, nice to know that Krusche wants to go to the Upper World because her ex-boyfriend Luke went there and never came back. Tbh, the Luke part sounds familiar but I don't remember anything else about this story. And I see, Jack is close to Misha because he used to protect her until he left.. She must have been so lonely after that. Anyway, I don't know why it didn't click to me that people are named after musical instruments here, like Flute and Harmonica lol, not sure what Tastiella is lol.

Time to do Misha's cosmosphere before going up! Adult Misha is beautiful~ lmao at the chunk of ice being an ice fairy😂 LOL at Aurica in the Don Leon costume😂😂😂 I'm kinda glad we did Misha's cosmosphere now though, because I would be so confused why her world is like this if I didn't know she has the responsibility to sing for eternity to keep the world peaceful. Especially now that she can wander around to find her song, I'm sure she's even more reluctant to go back to singing all by herself to save people she doesn't even know, and she's been doing this her whole life. I'm dying at the "flower" you can water with the China dress Misha that turns into a freaking tree hahahahah. I'm not sure about an abundance of love being able to grow a little flower into a gigantic tree😂 But I guess it exactly shows how little exposure Misha has of the real world, since even the stuff in her cosmosphere is really a lot of stuff she read in books. Honestly, I got mad at Lyner when he shouted at Misha to like do her job as the song fairy to save this Krusche, Misha was right that he doesn't understand her feelings at all. She's been stuck in one place for so long and has finally been given medicine that could turn her into a human, of course she would hesitate. I don't really blame Lyner though, since he doesn't really know about her life and her past at all. Shinobi Misha is so hot, I love the costume! It's so heartwrenching to hear how understanding Misha is to say she's willing on giving up on this chance (that she doesn't know if she'll ever get again) so that she can save Krusche because she understands that as long as she's alive, there's still a chance for her to find another way to be free, but if Krusche dies, she'll never have a second chance for her life. HAHAHA, I was thinking if those things in Misha's hair were drums, and thanks to Hama's confirmation, yes they are! But just like Hama's bells, they're just decorations, so don't beat those drums she says lmaooo. 

Lolll at Shurelia being Misha's mum telling her to grow up. So, the reason Misha hates growing up is because when she was young, she was still "free" and got to be in Platina playing with Lyner and stuff, but once she grew up, she was forced to sing and sing, so now she hates the idea of being "grown up" and having to live with this responsibility for the rest of her life, since at least if she's a kid, she can rebel and be a bit more selfish... I always find it hilarious how every Shurelia character in the cosmospheres have to ask Lyner out 😂😂 I guess it's because Shurelia is connected to all the Reyvateils? So even if Shurelia herself doesn't realise it, she really does like Lyner enough that it leaks into all her "characters"? It's terrible to think about how strict Lyner's dad was on Misha when she was in Platina if it's still haunting her here. Aww for Aurica's cosmosphere, Don Leon was a gift from Claire to Aurica before she left the village, she told Aurica to treat it as if it was her so that she wouldn't be lonely. It's cute how Don Leon really stayed so important to her that it's even her Mind Guardian now.

I'm glad Misha put Lyner in his place and told him it's too late to say he doesn't want to involve everyone, but I guess it's understandable since they could die or never be able to come back to the Lower World, but even still, Misha is right, they should be the ones to make that decision and not him. Anyway, in terms of the story, I feel like Lyner would choose Aurica to download the Hymn Crystal into to fight the viruses but I'm biased towards Misha so~ The viruses invading Misha's cosmosphere must have been pretty scary tbh like omggg, that's terrifying, especially since she got sealed in a crystal and everything was a wasteland. It was nice that after choosing Misha for this, it seems like Lyner has finally shown concern and worry over Misha lolll. Well, Platina is saved and now there's potential for more interaction between the Upper and Lower Worlds so I guess that will be nice. And that's the end of Phase 1!

Overall, I've been really enjoying my time with Ar Tonelico again. Tbh, now that I'm playing it again, it really does run like a visual novel with RPG elements hahaha. The battle system gets pretty repetitive and boring though, I'm glad it's not hard, but it can get tiring when there's a lot of random battles, I had to escape a few times because I was just so bored of it lmao. Otherwise, I definitely like Aurica much more than when I was a kid lol! She's actually really adorable and kind, lacking confidence at times, but with Lyner, I think she's definitely found a lot more confidence in herself and her abilities, and we should really be thankful to Lyner for that hahah. I love her weird naming sense and how she's so obstinate about silly things. As for Misha, I still really love her too. I like how she's so honest and true to herself, and I think I like her dynamic with Krusche and them more than Aurica is with them, but I really like how vocal Misha is about stuff like telling Lyner what she thinks and stuff like that. Shurelia is as cool as I used to think she was haha. I think I'll go with Aurica's route first though, just because I've never played it😆

[penandpaperfic]

watched episode 64 of campaign 1, had a lot of feelings, queued up the saddest songs on my writing playlist and wrote this in a rush. because who doesn’t want quiet, uncertain nights together in Whitestone?

ps - this is set during episode 64, so watch out for 1) spoilers if you’re still catching up like me and 2) mention of a certain dragonborn sorcerer. he’s not usually in the stuff i write, but i can’t really cut him out of this one

anyway. enjoy or ignore at your leisure:

-

She had thought, when the dragons took Emon and forced them all to flee, that it was by an immense stroke of luck Tiberius wasn’t with them.

She had thought, when he said his goodbyes and took a moment to wish her well, that they would see each other again.

She had thought, even when they heard three fourths of the Chroma Conclave had soared east, that he would be fighting back, wherever he was.

She had ignored the thought, deep in her heart, that he might not even be alive.

Percy asks a few of the Ravenites to take a body down, and he grabs her hand and whispers to all of them not to react. That in itself makes her want to react—and ask him what the hell is going on—but the look he gives her is more than stern: it’s desperate.

Keyleth shuts up, and watches.

He is frozen, and still, and lifeless. But he is undeniably Tiberius Stormwind from Draconia.

They do their best not to react. They really, really do. But a silence has fallen over their group, heavier than their uncertain glances at their uneasy allies so far. Keyleth looks around cautiously as they gather the body, and she knows that the Ravenites know. Tooma tilts her head toward her. There is no sympathy, but there’s a gravity to it. Keyleth lets her shoulders fall as she follows the others away.

Someone suggests the buried library, and really, there is no better place. Keyleth tries to channel her trembling into magic, into energy, as they clear away rock and ice and frozen, ruined books. They eventually make a suitable place for him—not good enough, but better than where he was. Where he had been slain, destroyed, made a symbol of—

Keyleth walks closer to the body and falls to her knees beside him. Why didn’t you tell us? she thinks. Why didn’t you talk about this part of your home?

Questions she’ll never know the answer to. There’s a part of her that’s angry. How was he supposed to be a leader when part of his people were slaves? But that thought hurts even more than the sight of him lying here, cold and still, so she shoves it away.

She reaches for his robes and tears a strip off. She winds it around her hand, tightening her fingers in the soft, fine, familiar fabric, and holds it to her chest. Beside her, Grog pours a glass of ale. Then, remembering something, he dumps it out to the side and fills the glass with water instead. He places it near Tiberius’s head.

Keyleth takes a shaky breath. She looks away from him, across the remnants of the library. There are some books still intact, still on shelves that are standing. There’s a little table with a fine leather chair and an unlit candle on its side. She imagines him sitting there, much younger, nose buried in a tome with the rest of the table covered in papers and ink. His flustered huff of a laugh when he caught on to something, or perhaps couldn’t quite find the answer he needed.

Keyleth shuts her eyes again and tucks the piece of robe away in her bag.

Vex places Lockheed on Tiberius’s still chest. The dragonling perks up with recognition, then mewls as Tiberius doesn’t react. He creeps up Tiberius’s chest to nibble on his chin. When there’s no other response, he deflates, curling slowly, sadly into a circle on his chest.

She can hear Vax’s quiet murmur of a prayer. Percy’s heavy sigh.

“Keyleth,” Percy says quietly. “Can you seal it?”

She sniffs. Nods. Pushes herself to her feet.

“Lockheed,” Vex whispers. The dragonling curls tighter on his chest. “Darling, please, you can’t stay here.”

He resists her. Vex kneels down and reaches out. She whispers something in Draconic. Lockheed raises his head and gives one last, long look at Tiberius’s face. Then he flutters to her shoulder. She runs a finger over his chest and walks out of the library.

When they’re all out, Keyleth raises her hands. She reaches out for the stone and pulls it down, sealing their makeshift tomb. As the stone falls, she falls with it. Snow seeps through the knees of her pants. She focuses on that, not the painful ache of her throat or the tears freezing on her cheeks.

A hand touches her shoulder. Vax, probably. Keyleth is about to shake him off, but the fingers flex, squeezing gently, and she realizes it’s smaller than she expected.

Vex.

She reaches up and covers Vex’s hand, welcoming the touch, clinging to her desperately. She feels Vex lower herself enough to speak softly beside her.

“He loved you well, Princess.” There’s a smile in her voice, as well as the tears. Keyleth feels her own lips curl. She sniffs and nods, holds it together for a moment before crumbling again. Vex’s hand tightens on her shoulder.

“He was so stupid,” she says back. Vex’s watery laugh sounds beside her. Keyleth wants to pull her down to hold her properly, but she resists the urge. Her head is starting to ache. She can feel the tight pull of her furrowed brow. “He should have never left our side.”

She doesn’t think it’s loud enough for anyone but Vex to hear, and Vex doesn’t respond. Keyleth swallows hard.

The party slowly picks themselves up. Vex helps Keyleth to her feet, but then drifts off. Percy is speaking to Tooma. Vax and Scanlan say their quiet, private goodbyes. Even Grog is subdued, standing with his head slightly bowed as he waits patiently for their next move.

They decide to plant their grove—their message, their means of returning—at the top of the ravine. Vex insists that Keyleth should save her spells and flies them all up instead, one by one. Keyleth climbs onto the broom behind her and wraps her arms tentatively around Vex’s waist.

Vex touches her forearm and presses it close. “Tighter, darling. Can’t have you slipping away.”

Keyleth lets herself hold Vex tighter. She presses her face to the space between Vex’s shoulder blades and breathes in, still shaky with tears. Vex squeezes her wrist once more, then pushes off the ground.

The tree grows easily, as does the portal. When they’re back in Whitestone, it’s as if nothing ever happened. Nothing has changed.

As they trudge quietly back up to the castle, Keyleth supposes that it hasn’t. Tiberius was dead when they left Whitestone, and he’s dead now. They already knew these dragons were ravaging the world. They just didn’t know it was this damn personal.

Percy leaves to go talk with Cassandra. Vax pats him on the shoulder before he goes, then murmurs something about a temple and drifts off. Grog declares he needs to find Pike and then get drunk. He offers his shoulder to Scanlan, who climbs up and goes with him.

Keyleth gazes after them. Maybe she should follow. Maybe she really, really shouldn’t get drunk tonight.

“Keyleth.”

She looks over at Vex, the only one still hovering. Lockheed is on her shoulder still, though he’s slumped so much he’s half-hidden in her hair.

Vex opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out. She closes her mouth again and simply stares at Keyleth.

Keyleth wipes at her eyes. “I…”

Vex nods. They both look away from each other, and Keyleth takes it as a cue to leave. Just get the fuck out of here, it doesn’t matter where to. She turns down the closest hallway and, by some stroke of luck, makes it to her room without running into anyone else.

/

Sleep doesn’t come easily. She supposes that makes sense, since they weren’t gone that long. But two teleportation spells and nearly becoming slaves and building a tomb for her once best friend is still draining.

Keyleth stares up at the ceiling above her bed, nearly in tears again just out of the desperation to go to sleep. She turns over and buries her face in the pillow. Let it stop. Let her rest.

They’ve lost so much. They’ve caused so much destruction, and they’ve witnessed so much more. How long was Tiberius up there, made a spectacle in front of the people his kin enslaved? What had he thought, in his last moments? Who was with him? Who fell before him?

Did he think of them? Did he wish he had stayed? Was he glad they weren’t with him? Was he hoping they were somewhere out there, fighting the same threat, coming to save—

Keyleth shoves herself up from the pillow, gasping. She scrambles up until she’s sitting and pulls the pillow to her chest, squeezing so hard it hurts. She wants to scream. She wants to sob. She can’t do this. She can’t.

She stands up before she can tell herself not to. She makes her way out of the room and down the hall, past Percy’s chambers, past Vax’s, to the last door in this wing. She knocks on the wood, soft but quick, before the nerves tell her to turn around and go right back to her own room.

The door opens just enough for Vex’s face to appear in the crack. She’s mostly shadowed, but Keyleth can see her features soften.

“Darling.”

“I—I don’t—I can’t—” Keyleth forces herself to take a breath. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

The door opens further. Keyleth steps in and out of the way so Vex can close it again. There’s no sign of Lockheed, except maybe the window Vex has left open. Keyleth sighs. Maybe he’ll like the mountains outside Whitestone. Hopefully he will.

Keyleth stays standing there, hanging in the dark room, not sure what to do or say now that she’s here. Her thoughts still won’t quiet. She brings her hands up and wrings them in front of her chest.

Vex steps away from the door and reaches for her. She takes Keyleth by the arms, then lets her hands slide down to Keyleth’s, parting them so she can hold them each.

“I’m sorry,” Keyleth whispers, not quite meeting her eye.

“For what, dear?”

“It’s late, I shouldn’t be—”

“If I didn’t want you here, I would’ve told you to leave.”

Keyleth nods. Swallows. Vex’s fingers tighten around hers.

“Come here, darling.”

And then she’s pulling Keyleth closer, into her arms, and leading them over to the bed. They sit, and Vex lets go of Keyleth so she can bring her hand up and tuck her hair back from her face. Her fingers run over her scalp freely, smoothing over the place where her circlet usually sits.

“Do you want to talk?” she asks Keyleth.

“I’m…not sure.”

Vex nods. She shifts so she can face Keyleth more fully. “He died protecting his people, Keyleth. I don’t think he would’ve wanted it any other way.”

“He would’ve wanted more time,” Keyleth whispers.

“We can’t always ask for that.”

She closes her eyes, but suddenly all she can see is Vex’s pale, pale face, deep in the tomb of the Raven Queen’s champion. She opens her eyes again and stares at Vex. She’s still pale, but her eyes are moving. Shining. Looking straight back at her.

“He should’ve stayed with us.”

“There’s no guarantee he would survive everything we’ve been through, either.”

“At least he wouldn’t have been slaughtered as a mockery to his country.” Keyleth clenches her jaw and looks away. “And those people. The Ravenites. He never told us…”

“I know.”

“How could he support that? How could he be okay with it?”

“We’re not sure that he was.” At Keyleth’s look, Vex sighs. “He was…he still had a lot to learn. Just like the rest of us. But that doesn’t change what was in his heart. He loved his people. And he loved us.”

“Does he know we feel the same way?” It’s out before she can stop it, and she flinches in Vex’s grasp.

But Vex just sighs and shifts closer. She rubs Keyleth’s arm and waits for some of the tension to ease away. “I think he did.”

“But he left.”

“I know. I know, and it hurts. But…I think he was right. Our paths were separating. It was the best thing to do, at least in his mind. And it takes courage to make that decision.”

“Or stupidity.”

“Or stupidity,” Vex agrees. She rests her head on Keyleth’s shoulder. “He had plenty of both.”

She can’t help it. A giggle escapes her lips. She feels Vex shaking against her arm, laughter or tears, she’s not sure. Both, probably. It doesn’t really matter at this point. She lifts her arm to wrap around Vex.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

“For what?”

“For not telling me to get lost at the door.”

Vex raises her head to stare. “Keyleth. I would never.”

Keyleth meets her gaze, but just as soon as she does, Vex looks away again. She bites her lip and frowns. Keyleth squeezes the hand she’s still holding.

“What is it?”

Nothing.” Vex shakes her head. “I guess I’m just wondering why you didn’t go to Vax’s room.”

Oh.

Keyleth ducks her head and ignores the heat in her cheeks.

“I—I’m sorry, Vex. I know you…well, no, I don’t actually know how you feel. But I know you want him to be happy. And I just…I can’t.”

She feels Vex’s gaze on her again. “Keyleth. Are you apologizing for not having feelings for my brother?”

“Um. Yes?”

Vex laughs—an actual laugh this time. The tears are still behind it, thick in her voice, but when Keyleth looks up her eyes are brighter.

“Darling, you don’t have to apologize for that.”

“But Vax—”

“Is an adult, and can handle his own feelings.” Vex sighs and tucks a bit of hair behind her ear. “I know I was…I didn’t like the idea of you with my brother, but I didn’t like the idea of him getting hurt. I took both out on you, and I shouldn’t have.”

“…Oh.” Keyleth lets out an awkward, quiet laugh. “I mean, I understand why.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.”

“No. But…the apology does.”

Vex glances up at her. “Okay.”

Keyleth drinks her in. Vex is here. She is here beside her, breathing and moving and talking and looking at Keyleth. She thinks about telling Vex why she came to her door. Not just because she didn’t want to go to Vax’s, but because…

But that’s a confession that can wait. She knows she’s good at ruining moments, and today has been ruined enough.

Still, she can’t help but ask, “Can…can I stay here tonight?”

Vex nods before she even finishes asking. “Of course you can.”

Keyleth nods back. The tears are rising again, tight in her throat, and she has to drop her gaze. Vex touches her cheek, then reaches for her shoulders and gently guides her down to the pillows.

They curl up close on the too-small bed. Keyleth is reminded of their early, early adventures, back when they could only afford so many rooms at the taverns they stayed in. She lets her arm wrap around Vex’s waist and shifts closer. Vex kisses her forehead, then the rise of her cheek beneath her eye.

“Try to sleep, darling,” she whispers. “You did a lot today, and we need you tomorrow.”

Keyleth nods, then ducks her head. She feels Vex’s hand at the base of her skull, guiding her until she can rest her face in the crook of her neck. She breathes in. Vex smells of leaves and bark, of Trinket’s fur, of the polish she uses on her bows. Keyleth breathes out, and she feels the tears start to fall again.

Vex scratches gently, soothingly, at her scalp.

“It’s okay,” she whispers, her own voice rough again. “I’m here. We’re here.”

Keyleth flattens her hand against Vex’s back. Here. They’re here.

They’re here, they’re here, they’re here. She repeats it to herself, again and again, until her mind is nothing but numbness, and quiet, and Vex.

She falls asleep.