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sincerelyriize · 19 hours ago

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cotton candy | p.wb

“so we just have sex to solve all our problems”

💿now playing: cotton candy by yungblud

❯ summary: Your boyfriend, Wonbin, is so fucking stubborn that he never knows when, how or why he should apologise. Good thing he’s good at hot, sweaty make-up sex though.

❯ pairings: wonbin x fem!reader

❯ genre: established relationship, angst, smut

❯ words: 1.3k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, swearing, make-up sex, pretty arguing for like a second, wonbin is insufferably stubborn, mention of marking, unprotected sex, lowkey a toxic dynamic oops

an: this fic has absolutely nothing to do with cotton candy, or the song really lol, i was just inspired by this one lyric.

Park Wonbin is stubborn—but not as stubborn as you.

He never thought he’d meet someone who could rival him in that department, let alone end up dating them. It’s a mess, really. Maybe even toxic. Because while he loves every single part of you, when the two of you argue, it’s like fire meeting fire.

It gets nasty. Personal. Downright vicious. Honestly, your friends can’t figure out how you’ve lasted this long—especially since neither of you ever wants to be the first to back down. Apologising? Yeah, no.

Wonbin doesn’t apologise.

But this time, he really should.

It started the same, always does, over something petty like the dishes, or jealousy or when he works long hours and forgets to schedule you in but always seems to have time for the boys. That last one was oddly specific because it’s the exact reason you’ve been screaming at each other in his apartment for the past twenty minutes.

You’d jabbed at his chest with your finger and he’d swatted it away. The fury in his eyes lit aflame, and you weren’t sure you saw an end in sight.

But then he said it.

“If you don’t like it, you can leave.”

That was the end. Because stubborn might as well have been your middle name, and you were ready to make good on his threat—if only his apartment wasn’t so far from yours.

“Fine, I’ll be gone first thing in the morning.”

“Fine,” he spat.

Without another word, you turned on your heel and stormed off to the bedroom, your footsteps heavy with anger. You didn’t bother slamming the door—too cliché—but the sharp click of it shutting was enough to drive your point home.

You busied yourself with grabbing whatever you’d brought over—a spare set of clothes, your charger, a few toiletries—but the more you moved around the room, the more frustrated you became. Your hands shook as you stuffed items into your bag, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from yelling.

Yelling would give him too much satisfaction, and satisfaction was the last thing you wanted to give him right now.

You throw yourself onto the bed, glaring up at the ceiling. The covers feel cold, they always do when he’s not there to cuddle you asleep, not that you’d want that right now, you’d technically just broken up—maybe—ugh, you don’t know. He’s too complicated to work out.

Instead, you curl up on your side, the pillow barely softening the tension in your neck. And sleep doesn’t come easily—your mind replays every word, every jab, and that final, infuriating sentence: “If you don’t like it, you can leave.”

Asshole.

Hours pass, the silence of the apartment punctuated only by the occasional creak of the floorboards and the low hum of the city outside. Your phone screen glares at you from the nightstand, but you ignore it. You weren’t about to scroll through social media for comfort—not tonight.

The doorknob turns with a faint click, and the door opens just enough for him to slip inside. The soft rustle of his clothes and the weight of his footsteps tell you exactly who it is.

You don’t move. Don’t look. Just stay still, pretending to be asleep.

And then the bed dips—but it’s not like you can be mad—this is his house, his room, his bed.

Just…why did he have to be so goddamn stubborn? You’re not going to apologise. You’ve done nothing wrong.

And like you said, Wonbin doesn’t apologise either.

Well…not verbally, at least.

Because within minutes, the shift in the mattress goes from tentative to deliberate. His hand slides across your waist, pulling you flush against him, and before you can even protest, he’s pressing into you—pinning you to the bed, his actions saying everything his pride won’t.

Because when Wonbin knows he’s wrong, he’s bad with words. Instead his body moves against yours, wordlessly pleading for forgiveness the only way he knows how—telling you he regrets what he did.

This is the exact reason he doesn’t apologise. Why should he when he can just fuck you silly and make up?

It’s always from the back after you fight, and you’ve come to understand that it’s because Wonbin doesn’t want to look into your eyes and see any lingering hurt. He's not supposed to be the one that hurts you, he hates it actually.

His hands wrap around your wrists, smashing your palms against the mattress as his slender frame rubs against your back, allowing you to feel every inch of his hot, sweat-soaked skin as he thrusts.

His face finds his favourite place, buried in your nape, because there’s something so possessive about it; and he needs to mark it because he doesn’t want you to leave. He might have said it, yes, but he didn’t mean it. You have to know he didn't mean it.

Your nails dig into the sheets as he licks and sucks, leaving his signature purple love bites across your flesh. You practically mewel into the pillow you’re chewing on when he dips between your shoulder blades and marks there too.

He’s really drilling it home, and you can feel all of the passion and love he has for you poured into his fucking, but it’s almost not enough.

It’s too easy. He’s too easy to forgive considering he hasn’t muttered the word ‘sorry’ since you met him.

But as you turn around to try and even attempt to reprimand him, one look at the crimson tint on his pale complexion and the heavy lidded haze on his eyes has you clenching around his cock. And then the fucker had to go and whimper, the sound so faint and vunberable it was impossible to be mad at him.

“Binnie—” you moan, arching your back to give him a better angle, pushing yourself into his fervent rutting.

Your head rolls against your shoulders, tilting back, needing a better look of him. His unruly black hair damp and sticking to his own face, his lip chewed from biting down. He nuzzles close to your cheek, panting and grunting in your ear and it becomes your undoing.

“Baby, kiss me…” you plead with him for just a little taste, your lips parted, jaw hanging slack and your eyes dazed.

You can’t believe you’re the one begging him right now.

Instead of answering you, Wonbin only grunts and nests his face into your neck, where he kisses and sucks and nibbles on your pulse point as his hips slap against your ass in rapid, needy thrust. He keeps uttering your name, whining it in between his ragged breaths, squeezing both of your wrists until your fingers are tingling.

You can tell that he’s right on the edge, chasing his elusive high deep into your cunt, his sensitive tip twitching and throbbing as it daubs at your inner nerves. Your stomach knots up.

“Oh, fuck, Bin—!”

Wonbin wraps a gentle fist around your neck and guides your face back into the pillows, shushing you breathlessly as he does so. You know why— you’re so damn loud when he fucks you like this, and Wonbin is a jealous man. Your moans are his to hear—not his lousy neighbour who he has seen checking you out a couple of times.

That could start another argument on its own.

As you both settle, your body trembling with aftershocks and his twitching needily, you feel him pull out with a long, shaking moan. Your body reacts, missing the feel of him. You roll onto your back, panting whilst staring at the ceiling and he sits back on his knees.

You look at him and manage a small smile, though his face remains clouded with a frown. His eyes flicker to yours for a moment before darting away. You sigh, already knowing what this means—you’ll have to be the one to speak first.

“Baby, c’mere,” you say softly, opening your arms.

It’s all the invitation he needs. Without a word, he slides into your hold, his movements almost hesitant as he rests his head against your chest. He avoids your gaze, even as your fingers thread gently through his damp hair.

“It’s okay,” you murmur, your voice tender and low. “I forgive you. I love you.”

Maybe Park Wonbin was as stubborn as you.

#riize smut #wonbin smut #wonbin x reader #riize x reader #riize one shot #riize hard hours #riize scenarios #kpop smut

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asarigg · 2 days ago

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Inside the Character's Mind: Part 6

CHILDHOOD. SLY AND KOUJAKU. THE AVOIDANT BEHAVIOR: part 3

As if all that wasn’t already enough, at the end of the Re:connect, this happens. Aoba thinks to himself that this is not what Koujaku wanted, as much as Sly wants to think that it is, that he’s in the right. As if what he has done has helped the Koujaku inside, the one who’s like him, the true Koujaku, to come out. As if they could be free inside that cell.

Koujaku reacts to Aoba’s thoughts. Sly thinks for a moment that it’s his imagination, but when Aoba repeats his thoughts, Koujaku says his name. Koujaku, who despite not having articulated a single word all this time, weeks, months, says his name as soon as Aoba “speaks”, that’s what I’m talking about when I mention their spiritual connection, that’s how strong it is. It happening after such a different sex scene, where neither of them can say no, nor show any kind of rejection, is just a reminder that they are both locked away, suffering, and that they will stay there watching this happen day after day until the day they die, not being able to see, or touch, or call each other’s names, or say “I love you” or anything they once wanted to say. They can only just watch each other wither away.

These thoughts of “This isn’t what Koujaku wanted” are very interesting because just like Sly thought, Koujaku really wanted Aoba to accept and love him. But the last thing he wants is having Aoba reciprocate him just because that’s what Koujaku wants. He’d rather be rejected, and even die in the extreme case of the situation hurting Aoba, than having him living something he doesn’t really want, that he doesn’t feel in his heart. Giving himself to Koujaku letting him do whatever he wants without thinking twice, without thinking about his own wishes. A life that doesn’t respect Aoba’s wishes is a nightmare for him. Just like he says in the confession scene “All I can remember is that I didn’t want to touch you like that”.

I mentioned that they don’t treat the tattoo as something that changed Koujaku, but as someone else inside his mind. When Sly appears before him, Koujaku immediately knows that he’s not Aoba, but has a hard time believing it, because physically he’s the same but white. He doesn’t know what’s going on, he can’t process it, but he knows. And the thoughts that tell him that the man in front of him is not Aoba are in red, like someone else’s, with some lowercase and some uppercase, growing more intense as the madness and anger of his tattoo reflects through. Doesn’t it remind you of how Sly’s thoughts appeared in the middle of the screen when Aoba was in charge?

Sometimes I wonder what Sly’s real intention was here. In theory he wants to break Koujaku and bring out the beast because that’s the part of Koujaku that he sees himself reflected in, that destructive entity, his darkest, true side, his pure animal instinct. Exactly what Sly is.

But he still tells the sane Koujaku that he loves him and wants to convince him that he’s Aoba. If that had worked then what would he do next? Because he truly believes that’s what he wanted to hear, and when the narration returns to his point of view he tells us that his love for Koujaku is true. Obviously locked in a cell it would be difficult for anyone to believe him, and Sly wouldn’t get him out of there anyway when he wants to keep Koujaku for himself. But then why does he keep trying to convince him, over and over again, even when Koujaku still doesn’t recognize him as Aoba any time he wakes up? Would he have been satisfied with a sane Koujaku, with those restrictions he hates, just because he accepted his words? It’s only when he sees that Koujaku won’t buy it, no matter what he tells him, that he changes his strategy.

And it’s in this scene that we see Koujaku in control for the last time, and again the last thing he says before losing his mind is Aoba’s name. This ending makes us see how Koujaku once again enters a cycle of abuse. He has gone from being his father’s slave, to Ryuuhou’s, and now Sly’s, and he will probably never get out of that cell alive. He no longer has prayer beads protecting him, only chains imprisoning him.

Sly is aware of what he has done, and he believes that since he has destroyed Koujaku’s consciousness/spirit, it’s only fair that he is the one to destroy his body, not only fair but it even seems like an attractive idea, to die at his hands (Sly try not to be Ryuuhou challenge). I really like this dialogue where Sly tells Koujaku that he can tear off his flesh if he wants, on the condition that he stays. Staying with him, a reflection of his desire to feel loved, accepted, after so many years of abandonment. After hearing Koujaku speak back to Aoba, it must feel like a punch to the stomach to think for a moment that he’s wrong with what he’s chosen for the two of them, to think that Koujaku doesn’t really love him.

Having him locked in a cage somehow is perfect to prevent the slightest chance of Koujaku walking away, as well as keeping him in this state, unable to speak, unable to think, unable to reject him. It’s because of these things that I usually think that at least at the beginning the relationship with Koujaku in a good ending would be quite turbulent. He would like to flirt with Koujaku, but when he realizes that he really feels love for him, he feels vulnerable, weak, and needs to protect himself because the people who were supposed to always be with him and protect him, abandoned him. And Koujaku somehow “abandoned” him once too. So before exposing himself to that, he would rather push Koujaku away. Sly would always come back to him, because as much as he wants to walk away he can’t, he needs Koujaku to stay by his side. It doesn’t matter if it’s love or hate, Sly will take it because it’s intense, real and raw.

Fun fact: Sly and Beast Koujaku both have golden eyes, when they “transform”. Everyone has those three sides of their conscience but Aoba’s just have a distinct personality and identity each, which I think might lead to thinking that beast Koujaku might have a personality of his own. I think he’s somewhere in between, he’s obviously not like them, but he’s definitely his own entity. Like some kind of natural force, like rain, wind, the energy of the cosmos, possessing him, something more abstract than a spirit or god, which we usually see as human or animal-like appearance wise.

The first thing that strikes us when we see Aoba is that his design radically changes. When Sly takes control of his body it’s not like he suffers any physical changes, besides the shine of his eyes, however here he turns completely white. The only time we see something like that happen is when we see the true forms of Sei and Aoba, but those black marks don’t appear. This is what makes me wonder if the white color has something to do with those forms, as if it were some kind of symbolism of Sly “breaking free” and being himself, without restrictions, without Reason, but they don’t add the black marks to not spoil it, or because it looks like shit with the design, or because it simply has nothing to do with that.

The white color is the color of death, mourning, the color with which the deceased are dressed. A sterile color, without impurities, highly related to the spiritual world. Many white flowers are commonly used in funerals, usually Buddhist, such as the white chrysanthemum, used for its meaning of truth and sincerity. Aoba wears a white kimono and also gives one to Koujaku. These traditional elements could be there just to remember Koujaku but nothing in this document could ever be simple of course.

The hair of a dead person is considered to turn white after a certain period of time, meaning that the hair is no longer a source of impurities, it can't be possessed by an evil spirit, and can be transported beyond the border that marks the separation between the sacred realm of the dead and the ordinary world of the living.

His skin, his characteristic blue hair, his eyes and his clothes turn completely white because at this point Aoba is no longer there. Not in a literal sense, of course, but in a figurative sense, Aoba is dead. And this is basically the same thing that happens with Koujaku. They are both reborn, destroyed, spiritually dying so that something else can be created, the ID, the instinct of destruction, the two beasts freed from the bodies that held them prisoners.

His clothes in general resemble those of a Miko, with a more “fantastical” and sexualized appearance. This post talks about it as well. Again it’s a reference to the spiritual realm, their religious side and how Aoba/Sly is an object of devotion, of how Aoba is somewhat a channeler for Koujaku. Just like there are rituals that call the gods to our world, like I’ve said in the section about hair, which serves as a connection with gods, Aoba is the only thing that connects Koujaku with this world, the only reason why he’s still alive.

#dmmd #koujaku #aoba seragaki #dramatical murder #aoba #kouao #koujaku dmmd #sly blue #slyjaku #essay #They really did that red thread of fate thing with them huh

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horsechestnut · 2 days ago

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I think my ideal Steph, Cass, and Tim dynamic would be that they're all best friends, but they can not all hang out together. Like, if you ask any one of them who their best friend is they genuinely will not be able to pick between the other two, but all three of them together triggers each of their insecurities in the worst way and always leads to a fight.

Like, Steph and Cass are so affectionate with each other, and constantly flirting and Tim assumes their teasing, but what if they're not, and oh god is he third wheeling on a date between his ex-girlfriend and his sister? They don't actually want him here, they invited him to be nice and he was to oblivious to realize it wasn't genuine. He should leave. But before he can come up with a believable excuse they've changed topics and... hang on, did Steph just say her dad threw a book at her once? Because so much of Steph and Cass's relationship is built on an understanding that they won't make a big deal when they mention something messed up about their past that they just say stuff like that, but Tim does not have that same understanding. So Tim hears that and instead of rolling with it, it's "Steph you can't just say that like it's not a big deal... why is Cass laughing? You can't laugh at that it's fucked up! I don't care that it was a long time ago!" And now Cass is confused and Steph is angry and Tim feels like shit for probably ruining what they wanted to be a date and frustrated that he's being treated like he's overreacting despite being the only one with a normal reaction to child abuse. Mostly he's terrified that he screwed this whole thing up somehow and neither of them is going to want to hang out with him again.

Meanwhile Steph and Tim are so intrinsically linked to each other. They've shared things they will never share with anyone else, they were each others first love. And Cass understands that, she does, but it's hard sometimes seeing how easy they are with each other. The way Steph knows Tim's upset without having to read his body langue the way Cass does or Tim can predict exactly how late Steph will be to any given situation. More than that though, what truly makes her want to hide away from them, is the history they both had but didn't share. The sly comments about Tim looking like a character Cass has never heard of or jokes that make no sense but send Steph into laughing fits. The kind that when she asks are brushed off with "it was an old meme" or "just a show from when we were kids". The reminders that she isn't normal, she can never really be like them. If she doesn't ask most of the time it doesn't occur to them to explain, it seems so obvious to them. They start doing a synchronized dance from some movie that came out when they were in middle school and Cass slips away into the shadows. Later she gets a string of concerned text that slowly turn angry when she doesn't answer. Cass never tells them what was wrong.

And it's hard for Steph to look at Cass and Tim and not feel jealous, because more than just being friends, they're siblings. They are full members of the club, Bruce's children, let into the fold in a way she never can be. She doesn't even want to be anymore if she's being honest, but it still stings. They'll casually mention family dinner or reference inside jokes from the last Wayne charity whatever and Steph will feel the growing desire in her chest that she can not, under any circumstances, let anyone see. The desire that has caused her so much pain, she will not give it control over her again. And Cass calls Tim Robin sometimes, and he calls Cass Batgirl in return, and Steph has to bite back the urge to scream at them that she was Robin too! She is also a Batgirl! But it doesn't matter because she wasn't Cass's Robin or Tim's Batgirl, and it drives her insane that they're romanticizing that time, because don't they remember how much of an asshole Bruce was back then? And now Tim is mad at her for bring up the past as if they're not the ones who started it, and Cass is assuring her that Bruce has changed, and maybe he has, but it's to fucking late! He already ruined any chance of Steph every feeling fully comfortable with her place in their lives. So she storms off, fuming, leaving a baffled Tim and Cass to go enjoy their stupid family dinner.

So yeah, they are best friends. They all love each other more than they know how to say, and trust each other more than anyone else in the world. But they can never all hang out together. That only ever ends in disaster.

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kibbles-bits · 3 days ago

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Heaven's Best AU what do Velvette thought and relationship with Winner!Vox!? eventually warm up toward him since Val likely convince her give him a chance despise he is an angel!?

Velvette doesn't trust him at all when she meets him! Especially because Valentino just shows up with him looking all small and pathetic and traumatized. She does not miss that Vox is covered in Sinner blood and Val isn't at all. So this guy is fully capable of slaughter and somehow Val has avoided it.

She trusts Val and knows he can read people really well, but she also knows he's an idiot who made it very clear to her he wants to fuck an angel. But then she is forced to consider that Vox isn't Val's type at all so now she has no idea where this is going. She can't question Val while Vox is there so she just helps clean him up and hope this isn't some weird trick with Vox trying to look weak and unassuming.

(She was right to worry. The minute she leaves them alone to burn Vox's bloodied clothes, Vox snaps and threatens Val to not tell anyone what happened.)

She comes back to them being civil to each other. Vox thanks her politely for manifesting new clothes for him and then is escorted back to the hotel to have another breakdown.

She doesn't see any reason why she'd ever see him again.

Except he keeps coming by for Valentino and to her horror they're like. Friends. And she can't see why. Valentino barely gives any details on how he and Vox met or why they still hang out so from her point of view, Valentino became friends with a loser goody-two-shoes angel who probably has a few screws loose and might snap one day and kill him.

And then when Valentino sleeps with him? She thinks. Welp. They're fucked. They're going to die. Valentino is going to mess this up and Vox is going to smite them. So she's just waiting for something bad to happen and getting ready to maybe try and kill Vox before he kills them.

Vox thinks she's jealous and thinks he's going to take Valentino away from her. So he takes it upon himself to have a little talk with her and assure her that him being there won't affect her and Val's relationship <3

She is appalled at how sincere he is and tells him to kill himself and Vox leaves to cry to Val about it.

Eventually they bond over hating Val for being obnoxious about being liked by two people.

She doesn't fully trust him but she does like him enough, especially when he praises the work she's done and fully recognizes her as more of the leader of the duo.

He sometimes likes to hover around her work when Val is busy and she's run into him on the streets a couple of times when he's trying to advertise the hotel. They haven't really hung out alone for like, fun. They're both open to trying it, but neither is willing to be the first to send the invite.

They bond much more after Vox's Fall.

Read the Heaven's Best AU HERE

#Heaven's Best AU #Hazbin Hotel #Vox #Velvette #Valentino #asks #angelvan105

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heeheesang · 3 days ago

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── .✦ what if we never dated..? — i should've been with you.

really really long written chapter , short smau below ! warnings : angst !! i cried writing this.

AFTER THE FIGHT WE HAD , WE NEVER HAD THE GUTS TO EVER FACE EACH OTHER . EVERYTIME WE MADE EYE CONTACT , WE WOULD IGNORE EACH OTHER AND FACE AWAY .

if only i had the guts to apologise for shouting at you... if only chaer didn't get in the way of everything. but thanks to taesan, we did manage to talk it out, even tho it was super awkward. i did feel like jumping into your arms but, i stopped myself.

it's been a week since the trip and we hadn't contacted at all... yunah and eunseok were happily together, same with shotaro and moka.

"since when were you and gunwook close again..?" you pulled me by my arm as i looked behind. the urge i had to hug you tightly and wish it was all dream...

"he... apologised to me. and now we're talking as friends." i smiled awkwardly as he flashed gunwook one kind of a look. we were about to leave when he pulled my arm again.

"wait, yn... i have to tell you something." i crossed my arms, "what is it, leehan?"

"i'm moving to america." if only you knew how much you made me cry at home with that sentence alone. but the only thing i could do at the point was smile and wish you all the best.

i could barely sleep for nights, eventually had to call taesan and anton over with the girls for a sleepover. gunwook joined too, and that's when i realised why we weren't made for each other.

GUNWOOK : yeah lol she thinks i still like her, do i get my $1000 now?

CHAER : ugh just keep her distracted. leehan and i got his parents approval for an arranged marriage.

GUNWOOK : you better do this quick, it's bad enough i'm hurting her but she can't make a man happy at all.

i broke down into tears, screenshotting the chat and sending it to myself before waking gunwook up. oh, if only you could hear how upset i was.

i can't blame gunwook and i can't blame you neither can i blame chaer... it's all my fault in the end.

once it was morning, gunwook ran out of the house before any of the girls or guys woke up. i spent the whole day crying, arranged marriage? so he's... really taken now.

YN : sent a screenshot

LEEHAN : ☺️ now you know pretty.

LEEHAN : i'm sorry it had to be this way... i just never liked you at all yn, i was always waiting for chaer get out of a relationship and you just so reminded me of her lol

YN : huh... so you never liked me..?

LEEHAN : read up hm? you have a pretty smart brain, put two and two together :)

YN : fuck you kim donghyun.

you blocked this contact.

oh. that felt like a hard pang in the heart... i couldn't tell any of them about this, all of them were close to leehan. they even wished for him to come back as soon as possible... i would just be ruining my own friendship.

"you look disturbed these days. what's up, angel?" taesan asked as he leaned against my locker, eyes glued to his screen as his fingers moved rapidly.

"i'm just... tired really..! rumors here and there... head girl council things." i lied, well kinda.

"i'm not dumb, angel. i can see right through you. what's wrong?" taesan asked again as he turned off his phone and placed it in his pocket.

"i forgot that you're literal leehan 2.0. i'll be fine, don't worry. let's go to class?" i joked as he nodded, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as we walked to class.

oh yeah, taesan was always there for me. i always felt bad for him because i didn't even realise how much he liked me until the argument between leehan and i happened.

i had to find it out through yunah as well... she was taesan's wingwoman. i was always thankful for taesan but now that i knew his intentions behind his acts of kindness, i adored him.

he never gave up even tho i longed for leehan. that enough showed me how much he really likes me. he always helped me in classes, he talks with me about our problems.

"so what i'm hearing is.. leehan was playing with you?" taesan asked as i nodded slowly, tears running down my cheeks as he gave me tissues and tissues.

"what a bitch..." taesan cursed as a joke and i giggled, hitting his shoulder lightly.

"and gunwook.. was in it with chaer too. but i realised they didn't even have to plan anything because... leehan was already in love with chaer." i continued and eventually cried out loud.

taesan panicked and immediately rushed to my side on the bed, hugging my tightly as i cried on his leather jacket.

"that's what's been bothering me lately... i'm so... scared of love now." i hugged him tightly as he rubbed my back, "hey hey..." he said as he pulled away from the hug, holding me by my shoulders.

"that's part of love life, angel. you meet people who play with your feelings, people who love you as much as you love them, and just pure assholes. there are much more important things in life hm, angel? like that graduation and prom ceremony. i'll help you plan it out." taesan comforted as he wiped my tears away only for me to cry even more.

"now i've ruined your leather jacket...!" i cried out as he chuckled, "it's okay, it's okay..."

with the few days, taesan helped me cope very well surprisingly. he gave me new hobbies to try out, he brought me out on little dates, he even introduced me to his other friends and family members.

but despite all that, my schedule was still very packed with plannings. soon, prom was coming up and i had moka to run the confessions corner account once again.

"hey, angel. dinner at my mom's today?" taesan asked as i pouted, "i'm afraid not sanie... i have to complete my—"

"—your layout for prom? finished. your seating layouts? done. so! can we?" he asked with a tiny pout and a glint of happiness in his eyes.

i pinched his cheeks before giggling, "of course you big baby."

everytime we had dinner at taesan's, his parents would pamper. his father always went on work trips outside of korea and would always bring me souvenirs, big or small, it didn't matter to him.

his mother would always cook my favourite meals and make sure i eat alot. his siblings would always compliment me and make me play games with them on their playstation.

"ah eomma! you've embarrassed me enough..." taesan whined and covered his face as his parents chuckled, "your girlfriend— future girlfriend deserves to know all this!"

without a doubt, it was always fun at taesan's. his family members love me, and my family members love him. they treat him as their own child, always talking about marriage when he was over.

"thanks for tonight, sanie."

"no problem, angel. see you at prom tomorrow, i'll pick you up at six hm?" i nodded as he placed a short kiss on my forehead, making sure i got in the house before driving off.

prom! the one night where everyone could enjoy having their final days in highschool. i sighed as i opened my closet, looking through it to find my prom dress i had prepared.

that's until i found a mini box at the side of my closet, TO JUNG YN, FROM KIM LEEHAN. huh? when did this get here?

i took the box and sat down on my bed, opening it to find a corsage. a pink colour corsage.

TO JUNG YN ,

you probably would've expected the outcome of us... so i won't be there for prom but i want you to have the best night ever. i know taesan likes you... and he deserves you.

i wish you and taesan all the best. i'll forever love you jung yn. a pink corsage, a matching one with taesan.

thank you for your time the whole 3 years jung yn. :) goodbye forever.

i tried my best not to break down in tears, because i will not be redoing my makeup ever again. soon i received a text from taesan if i received a corsage from leehan and i replied him quickly because his next message was 'i'll be there in thirty'.

this is for you leehan taesan, i pick you. while changing i realised that you've never reminded me of leehan, you were yourself and that's what i love.

thank you taesan, for showing me what perseverance is.

"are you enjoying the party, girl??" yunah asked as moka danced alongside me. i pressed my lips into a thin line, shrugging as i gulped down another cup of fruit punch.

taesan and i arrived together but he was currently with his friends dancing in the middle. taesan and his friends have always been the popular group in school. they were all flirters especially jaehyun. he tried asking me for my number once with his so called, 'rizz' but thank god taesan stepped in.

taesan was never a flirter. he was more determined to get the girl he likes and never let her get out of sight.

"you're daydreaming again... please don't say it's about leehan..." moka whined as they took a seat beside me, leaving me in between them both.

"leehan isn't here anymore... yn. you know that." yunah reminded me as i nodded slowly.

"no, oh my god no! i was just thinking about taesan... like he's determined to get me... and i adore that." i explained as they 'ooh' at my response.

"can we get miss jung yn, head girl of 2024, on stage. calling for jung yn." the principal voiced out on stage as everyone turned to look for me, "i better get on stage first. first row, girls?" we giggled as they followed me and sat down first row with taesan and his friends.

i tapped on the mic, "hello... um wow this is new. a lot of you here..." i nervously spoke as everyone laughed and applauded for me to boost my confidence.

i looked down to my friends all holding a thumbs up sign, then made eye contact with taesan. i smiled as he mouthed, "you can do it, angel."

i let ou a small sigh of relief before continuing, "as head girl of batch 24', i've learnt a thing or two. holding onto the past won't do you any good in the future because you'll dwell on your past mistakes and be afraid to make new choices in life."

"secondly, i learnt that it's better to keep your circle small. the bigger the circle, the bigger problems. that doesn't mean that smaller circles have smaller problems, but it's unlikely to have any fueds or such."

"i would like to thank everyone... for being so supportive of me being head girl. i've enjoyed my time creating activities, spending time with my fellow students and just making the best out of everything."

"i would also like to... um... apologise. if i have ever made you upset, if i have ever made you angry. please forgive me if i have ever done anything to made you hurt." i bowed down to the crowd as they all retaliated, saying i didn't do anything wrong.

i giggled into the microphone, "lastly... the school and i have organised this event so that we could have our last moments together with friends and people we love. so please — take the dance floor, enjoy the buffet, do everything with your friends and loved ones. i think that's all from me... thank you, once again." i bowed to the crowd as everyone dispersed.

walking down from the stage, taesan appeared with a smile and a hand. "good job, angel." i chuckled and took his hand, hugging him as i finally reached the bottom.

as soon as i sat back down, the center floor was suddenly emptied out. taesan’s friends, jaehyun sungho, and riwoo all danced in the centre facing me. my eyes widened as i lifted my eyebrows, turning around to see nobody behind me at all.

“oh my darling..” i heard taesan’s voice as he emerged from the three. he sang the song as if his life depended on it, the closer he came to me, the faster the song ended.

“i love you.” my jaw dropped as he passed my a bouquet of flowers.

“will you be my angel?”

⤶ back | mlist

⟢ accidental confessions (acc) taglist

╰┈➤ @rairaiblog @voikiraz @veerooniicaa @miukidoll

⟢ permanent taglist ( can be requested to be taken off ! )

╰┈➤ @hooneverse @sol3chu @yourssincerely-mimi @reikaxslvr @petralovesbonedo @enhabooks @mwahvvis @jaerisdiction @rairaiblog @jeonginontopforever

hhs' notes ! ── .✦ whaaat a lengthy chapter !! i'm so sorry if this was a terrible chapter (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) i cried a little writing this hehe ( ˶°ㅁ°) !! but it's finally , the end !! how do we feel ? i originally wanted to make it seem like leehan was gone gone , but i just couldn't do it >ᴗ<

anyway my luvies...! i hope you enjoyed this smau and this final chapter huhu (,,>﹏<,,) i hope it's not too confusing !! i loved making this smau , each and every chapter •⩊• and i would like to thank everyone for liking, loving, and supporting this smau !! i love all of you and i'll see you in my next smau !! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

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loving-family-poll · 3 days ago

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2nd Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 2

Propaganda under the cut

Violet/Jinx:

These sisters are fucking crazy. Little one has literal heart eyes over her cool butch big sister at one point. Butch big sister toxic dates a doppleganger of crazy little sister. Crazy little sister makes it her life's mission to kill said doppleganger. They have a fight there theyre sitting one one another grinding. crazy!!!

If you take one look on the season 2 poster you will get it (though I have not seen it yet so going mostly by season 1). Little sister psychosexually obsessed with older sister. Big sister chronically incapable of not protecting younger sister. Both dependend on the other for their own sense of identity. Jinx takes one look at the sister's love interest and not only goes crazy with jealousy but also tries to make Vi choose between them. They both say the other are the reason they haven't killed themselves in the time things were really bad and they were apart.

Sisters to enemies to lovers, babey

Jinx’s eyes are canonically the shade violet red

Vi’s eyes are canonically the shade powder blue

Vi’s girlfriend has blue eyes (like powder/jinx AND her mother) and blue hair (like powder/jinx AND her mother)

powder/jinx WANTED vi to be the one to kill her. That whole scene where Vi has Jinx pinned and she’s CHOKING HER (gay) and she’s giving these sad wet puppy eyes and tells her that “I’m glad it’s you, it has to be you.”

I don’t know how to send links but that scene from cait’s pov where jinx is blowing in Vi’s ear. LIKE COME ON

Jinx died (fake or not, Vi thinks she’s dead) and a big factor for her dying was that she wanted Vi to be happy and stripped Vi of having to make the choice between her (Jinx) and her gf who looks like her. Like ok queen

"It had to be you."

Klaus/Elijah:

Immortal vampire brothers who have spent a thousand years hurting and loving one another. An elder brother who carries the guilt of not protecting his little brother from the horrors of their childhood and a bastard-child younger brother who considers himself both outcast and judge, jury, and executioner to his siblings’ wrongdoings. Their immortal vow to stand as one, always and forever, has led to a millennium of talking past one another, taking away each other’s loved ones, and, of course plotting the downfall of their enemies together. When faced with death, neither can bear to go alone, and vow instead to die in each other’s arms. Which they do.

They have lived every life possible and yet they can’t escape each other. They have canonically been in love with the same woman at least twice. Elijah falls in love with the woman who Klaus HAD A BABY WITH. Normal brother behavior!!! Klaus begged Elijah to run away with him when they were kids and Elijah is still haunted 1000 years later by the fact that he refused. Elijah once came up with a whole-ass plot to murder Klaus but at the last second couldn’t bring himself to do it and betrayed everybody he allied with to save Klaus instead. They just can’t quit each other!!! And when Klaus is suffering some magical bullshit and has to die, Elijah’s like “yeah I’ll die with you, my life is meaningless without you.” Brothers of all time!

Part of Klaus hates Elijah because he will never be him and his siblings will never love him and respect him the same way (I'm saying siblings, but I really mean Rebekah) but he would also die for him in a heartbeat. He would never admit it but he's living for the attention that Elijah gives him, no matter what kind. He would probably be happy in a polycule with him and his sister if he wasn't chronically paranoid that they actually hate him and want to get rid of him. By which point he punishes them by putting them in a magic coma for a few centuries and bringing their bodies with him everywhere he goes.

https://www.tumblr.com/icebluecyanide/170419680277/dont-speak-to-me-of-elijah-he-loves-you-yes-he

“I need you, brother. The monster in me can only be checked by the monster in you.”

#tumblr polls #tournament polls #incest poll #violet/jinx #vijinx #klaus/elijah #klelijah #round 2

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theyhavetakenovermylife · 1 day ago

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Hi can I request for the mutant mayhem turtles with fem s/o getting their first kiss.

First Kiss (Fluff)

MM!Turtles x reader

A/N: Of course you can. It’s quite some time ago since I’ve last done a MM x reader, so it’s about damn time. I haven't yet been able to watch Tales Of The TMNT, so I'm going to run with my impressions from Mutant Mayhem. Hope you’ll enjoy💚

Warnings: None, just fluff💚

Leonardo:

Leo had always imagined that his first kiss with you would be the result of something big. Like the romantic resolve of growing tension after he had saved you from some sort of danger, where you would find yourself staring into his eyes, realizing just how much you cared for him, and what a hero he was - not just for the city - but for you as well. Or maybe it would come as a result of him being truly brave, mustering up every fiber of his courage, telling you exactly how he felt, before rolling with the flow of his courage, kissing you like he was in control and secure.

But instead it went nothing like Leo had expected it to go. Matter of fact, it was actually quite awkward. Just lucky for him that you found his awkwardness sweet and adorable.

It happened in school. You were talking to Leo about something. What it was Leo wasn’t entirely sure of, as he had totally forgotten to listen. He had somehow gotten it into his head, that today was going to be the day. Today was the day he was going to tell you how he felt and kiss you for the first time.

But pure Leo got nervous. And in his nervousness and scrambling thoughts, he mixed everything up, cutting you off with an open eyed kiss in the middle of the hallway.

Your first date was Saturday that weekend.

Raphael:

You and Raph’s first kiss was not planned out. Neither of you had actually expected anything like that to happen that day, or any day for that matter. You were incredibly close friends, often hanging out together after school, doing the silliest things imaginable, both of you trying to keep your growing crushes secret from one another.

It happened in the lair, with no one but you, Raph, Splinter and Scumbug home. With Splinter and Scumbug in the kitchen and main living area, you and Raph had his and his brothers’ shared bedroom all to yourself, where you joked around, cracking jokes and playfully pushing each other around.

At some point, these playful pushes turned into a playfight, with the goal of overpowering the other, and maybe even tickling them. Neither you or Raph are really sure how it happened, but at some point during the playfight, you just kissed.

It was a quick kiss, but a little longer than just a peck, yet both of you pulled back looking shocked, processing what had just happened. Sure, both of you might be crushing on each other, but this was very much out of the blue, leaving you both wondering if you were in fact dreaming.

“Ah, fuck it”, Raph then said, pulling you in for another quick kiss, before the two of you would roll around laughing on the floor, to the point where even Splinter and Scumbug was wondering what was going on.

Donatello:

You and Donnie’s kiss was sweet and adorable to say the least. It wasn’t planned, but it was nonetheless welcomed by both of you with open arms and wide smiles.

You were at your place, sitting together on your bed, with Donnie watching over your shoulder as you played on your Switch, giving you small words of encouragement as you progressed one level after another.

You honestly didn’t need to do it. You hadn’t even made your way to the boss level, yet you suddenly turned around to look at Donnie, who looked back at you with raised brow muscles, as if to ask you what you were doing. However, he wasn’t able to ask you before you suddenly closed the space between the two of you, placing a sweet kiss on his lips.

Donnie’s eyes were wide when you pulled back, staring at you in what you could only describe as utter shock and confusion, his eyes moving over your face, as if he was trying to figure out what was going on, just from the look on your face.

That was when a smile suddenly broke on Donnie’s face, followed by a heat felt laugher of pure joy as he wrapped an arm around, pulling you closer to him with a; “come here, you”.

After that the boss level was a breeze.

Michelangelo:

Many people might have stories of how their first kiss was this big thing, with sparks flying, choirs singing, angel trumpets and all that shapy stuff people have made up since the dawn of humanity. But you and Mikey’s first kiss was not like that. It was very much down to earth, with little to no fanfare, happening like it was the most normal thing to happen between the two of you.

You and Mikey found yourselves sitting in the park, enjoying the summer sun while you sat on a bench, talking about whatever was on your hearts, while enjoying some sweet sugary snacks.

It was here, while you were talking about something minor that happened at school, jokingly saying that you needed Mikey to comfort you, that he suddenly pressed a peck to your lips.

You froze, your eyes wide and staring at Mikey, who just continued the conversation like this was a common thing for Mikey to do to you, popping another sugar candy into his mouth, handing another to you, trying his best to hold his smile at a minimum as he saw your cheeks turning a bright pink.

“Anything wrong?”, he asked, watching as you blinked at him, moments before you jumped on him, wrapping your arms around him as you pulled him in for another kiss through your roaring laughter, causing strangers in the park to turn and look at you two idiots being in love.

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sammyluvr · 1 day ago

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✶ love you like that — sam winchester

cw : gn!reader, fluff, tfem!roommate!sam, college!au, insecurity, kissing, unedited, 783 words. requested ! for my 900 followers event [ closed ] .

prompt : under beige sheets and a grey comforter + “you’re loved.” “but how do you know?” “because i love you.”

the twin sized beds in your campus apartment are a tight squeeze for two people. and sure, there’s two beds, but you and sam make it work for movie nights and the likes. maybe sharing a bed like this is more than friendly, but so are lots of the things you do together.

she’s just very shy, very unsure of herself. but she’s the most comfortable with you over anyone else. you’re the first person she came out to, and the first person to really support her too. it was terrifying, but being herself around you isn’t so scary anymore.

her head rests on your shoulder, and the movie on your laptop is long finished with the dvd already back in its box. earlier this year, she’d wished her beige sheets and dark grey comforter were more feminine. so you told her you really liked the minimalist look and were tired of your old sheets anyway. you gave yours to an old friend moving out of their house and in need, took sam’s so she wouldn’t feel like they were going to waste, and went shopping for new ones with her. so when the two of you are curled up in your bed, you’re warmed by grey and beige, like tonight. and when you’re in hers, the sheets are a subtle lilac and the duvet is off white with little flowers and ruffles around the edge. she said she thought it was a bit much, but you could tell she really liked them.

she looks very pretty sleeping in that bed, surrounded by pastels and ruffles that match the white nightgown she wears on the hottest summer nights. that dress makes her thighs look so pretty, her chest too. you have a hard time not staring when she wears it.

tonight, she’s quiet. you can feel her hesitation, her tendency towards insecurity. you understand her, of course it’s hard. she’s tall with naturally wide shoulders and strong facial features. but you think she’s so pretty, likely the prettiest girl you’ve ever met. tonight she’s in sweats and a cami, it’s not hot enough for that dress. if it were, neither of you would be under the covers. simple grey blankets both of your legs instead.

“sam,” you murmur, finally shutting your bulky laptop shut.

“mmm?” she hums in response, trying to sound light and untroubled. you know her better than that.

“you’re loved,” you say without any prompting from her at all. “for you. you know that, right?”

she hesitates like she doesn’t know. it’s hard to remember sometimes, hard to feel like it’s true. her voice is small and quiet, like she’s nervous to ask, knowing you get sad when she doubts herself like this. and yet, you reassure her with enthusiasm each and every time, and it always means the world to her. “but how do you know?” she whispers.

you give a small smile, a knowing one. she can’t even see it from where she is. “because i love you,” you say simply. so simply. you’ve said it before. you’re the type of friends who say i love you. but usually it’s casual. you always mean it, but normally, it’s on the way out the door, a friendly love ya! when you won’t see each other for a little while. it’s said while laughing about something stupid, like it’s just an appreciation for the other’s humor and silly thoughts. the way you say it this time is very obviously more. she still takes it as something friendly. in a moment of vulnerability, you’d have said this to her as a friend, too. that much is true, but you know what she means and she’s in denial about what you mean.

she sighs softly, grateful for your kindness, but not so convinced. “i… i know, i mean like–”

“i know what you mean,” you cut her off gently, “that’s what i mean, too. i love you like that, sam. i swear it.”

sam’s a shy girl, but she just has to see your face to make sure you’re not being mean, not saying something just to get her hopes up and then dash them to the floor. you’d never do that, of course. she lifts her head and turns to you, eyes soft and a little pleading too. you meet her gaze with unending sincerity and a patient sort of love.

she grabs your face in both pretty hands and kisses you with enough force to nearly knock your head against the wall behind you. you don’t even startle, just kiss her back with enough force to keep you both safely tucked in the plush of all your blankets and pillows.

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backseatsoldier · 18 hours ago

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No Mercy - Prolog

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x OC (Bex)

CW: mental & emotional abuse committed by family members; toxic family members; military inaccuracies (though I am asking those I know who have been in the military about their experiences-)

Author's Note: Welcome to the story of my only military OC! If you'd like to be on the tag list, drop a comment and I'll get one started for the first chapter <3

18 years old/Two Days After Graduation...

"You're such a selfish bitch, Becca."

"Go suck Darian's cock so I don't have to listen to you whine, Hannah," Bex sighs as she zips up her suitcase.

The tension in the air thickens with Bex's comment, but she pays no mind to it. Instead she simply lifts her suitcase from her the bed and turns to face her twin. Hannah's face is twisted in anger and offense.

"I would never-"

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. I'm sure you won't have problems with pathological lying later in life, sis," Bex tells her flatly. "Now move so I can leave. My ride will be here soon."

"You're really doing this? You're really abandoning us all for... for what? To play soldier?" Hannah's face twists into an expression of hurt.

But Bex sees right through it, as she always has.

"I'm leaving to start my own life. Move," she says more firmly this time.

Hannah's expression goes cold, but she steps to the side of the doorway. As Bex passes her, she grabs Bex's arm to stop her.

"Don't expect Mom and Daddy to welcome you back with open arms when you fail, Rebecca," Hannah hisses in her twin's ear. Then her grip on Bex's arm is gone. "And neither will I."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Bex returns with a bright smile then makes her way out of the room, head held high, prepared for a new life.

First Month of Basic...

Basic training is hell, as expected. It's nothing Bex will allow to drag her down, though.

"What's your plans after basic?" Private Burran asks from her bunk, sweet but exhausted smile on her face as she looks around at the other women in the room.

"Die in a world over," someone scoffs to Bex's left and Private Burran frowns in response.

"Don't you have like... different military jobs you'd like to pursue? I, for example, am getting into Microwave Communications!" Private Burran announces proudly.

"Ah, so you're a tech nerd," Private Charles chuckles as she leans against her and Private Burran's bunk with her arms crossed.

Their conversation continues but Bex tunes them out. She's not here to make friends; she's here to learn to do her damn job.

"What about you, Private Morgan?"

Bex sits up to look at the others. They each look at her expectantly and Bex sighs.

"Active duty, wherever I fit best. Would prefer to do something undercover, honestly," she admits.

There's a ripple of whispers through the other women and Bex raises and eyebrow at them.

"Don't you like... come from some rich, old money family?" Private Irens asks hesitantly, toying with the edge of her jacket sleeve.

"Why does that matter?" Bex asks, tone defensive as she sits up on her elbows.

"We're all on the same page. You'll have an advantage with getting through to anything you want because of your connections," Private Charles clarifies and shifts her weight to stand up straight.

"If you must know," Bex addresses them all with a stunning smile and everyone's shoulders stiffen. "I cut off all of my family," Bex hisses as her smile fades to a scowl. "Fuck off, all of you," she grumbles as she pushes out of her bunk and storms out of the barracks.

26 Years Old/Five Months ago...

In a small, noisy cafe in who-knows-where, two people sit together at a table. The woman has a laptop bag at her feet, strap wrapped around her ankle. The man stares out the open window next to them, cigar in hand.

"Top of her squad in basic training," the woman praises.

"What does she specialize in?" the man asks while puffing on a cigar.

"You asked for an undercover operative, Price," she points out flatly.

"Was she top of her platoon, though? I need the best, Laswell," Price counters.

"Second best."

"Why not bring me the number one then?" Price takes a drag from his cigar. Laswell waits for him to exhale before responding.

"Died on a recent mission. So, technically, she is number one."

Laswell slides a manila folder onto the table and holds eye contact with Price as he takes another puff. With a sigh, cigar smoke swirling in the air between them, he reaches for the folder and opens it.

"Sergeant First Class Rebecca Morgan, hm? The hell kind of callsign is 'BSS'?" he mumbles as he scans the first paper inside the folder.

"You'll have to ask her yourself, sir," Laswell says with a smirk. "She's waiting for you on base."

No Mercy Masterlist | CoD Masterlist

#backseat soldier #rhi_writing_adventures #No Mercy #NoM #prolog #call of duty #cod #original character

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maruyaaya · 2 days ago

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AJDHDKDHDU UR GONNA MAKE ME SOB OH MY GOSHHH IM SO GIDDY RN

odysseus and neo are soooo antagonistic in this their dynamic is so fun to write bc neither of them will hesitate to take a cheap shot.

obligatory agamemnon slander it always has to happen i can’t resist it. it’s always so funny to me he’s such an easy target. AND ODYPEN GIGGLING OVER WAR PLANS IS SO REAL TO ME like they flirt by talking abt how they’re gonna destroy their enemies

NEO IS SO FUCKING DOWN BAD it’s so special to me that he is very bad at social interaction. he’s very socially awkward and he struggles with social cues (i’m definitely writing him as neurodivergent even if that will never be like explicitly stated in the fic) and he really struggles with figuring out how telemachus in particular views him. he sees that telemachus’ opinion of him doesn’t actually change when telemachus finds out who he is and he finds that really interesting; it’s one of the reasons why he’s so attracted to telemachus—he feels seen for the first time ever. he doesn’t even mind it when telemachus hates it bc telemachus hates him for who he is rather than for what he did during the war. neo’s also just crazy pathetic wet cat he’s my little freak <3

PTSDYSSEUS LMFAO I SNORTED

u absolutely clocked me YES the love and a slit throat paragraph is one of my favourites because it really encompasses neo in this. his view of love has been completely skewed by his time in the war; he views himself as being incapable of love if it isn’t violent. and then you can contrast his viewpoint with telemachus, who grew up surrounded by love from his mother and he views love as something gentle. they play off each other really interestingly in this regard. telemachus really likes it when he gets to see neo being soft. he feels the most loved when neo is being gentle around him, baring parts of his soul that nobody else gets to see. he wants neo to confess secrets to him and touch him with reverence. on the other hand, neo really likes it when telemachus shows his cruelty. neo likes to see telemachus angry because he feels it’s a more genuine show of who telemachus truly is. and to him, he thinks that everybody else can have the telemachus who is kind and soft, but only he gets to see the one with fire in his eyes and a thirst for blood. the crux of both of them is that they want to see the parts of each other that they hate in themselves.

THE UNDERWORLD BIT WAS SO FUN TO WRITE i love achilles sm and his dynamic with neo is so important to me despite achilles literally never physically appearing in this fic LOL. so much of neo’s actions were influenced by what he thought his father would do and then to learn that achilles regretted the things he did makes him wonder if everything that he did was wrong.

AHAHAHA OH THE POLITES THAT TELEMACHUS REFERS TO ISN’T THE greet the world with open arms <3 polites. the polites referenced is one of priam’s sons and neo kills him during the fall of troy. iirc polites was known for being very fast and during the battle, neo shoots him with an arrow and polites nearly manages to get away, attempting to escape to priam’s palace, but neo follows him and when neo catches up to him, polites prays to the gods to punish neo but neo kills him before anything happens.

HONESTLY UR TOO KIND TO ME i’m blushing kicking my feet twirling my hair rn i’m so happy you like this fic it genuinely means so much to me I APPRECIATE ALL UR ARTS AND SUPPORT SM THANK YOU SO MUCH <3

(ALSO FABLE AND TRUTH IS PROBABLY MY FAVOURITE CHAPTER TITLE it comes from fable by gigi perez and most gigi perez songs are very neomachus coded to me ESPECIALLY sailor song because of the line ‘i don’t believe in god, but i believe that you’re my saviour’ and i just really love gigi perez HAHAHA)

HELLOOOO EVERYBODY!!!

chapter one of my neomachus fic, someday i know you’ll come to your senses, is finally up!! you can check it out HERE!!

#ALL OF UR SUPPORT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME #thank you for listening to my unfathomably long ramblings #we are THE neomachus shippers #fic: someday i know you’ll come to your senses #imeda rambles!!#greek mythology #neoptolemus #pyrrhus #telemachus #neomachus

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dykedvonte · 2 months ago

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Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.

I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.

This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.

The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.

It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…

The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.

#like I’m sorry two months? he couldn’t have explained it at all to Daisuke?#he’s no better than Curly and it’s likely Anya found comfort in the fact that Jimmy would at least avoid being around Swansea #tho everything he went off to drink or passed out she would be acutely reminded that things are still taking precedent in his head #she is not his top concern nor is seeking justice for her like he is admittedly more concerned about Daisuke he doesn’t mention her #outside of the fact that they were def talking about what Jimmy did and likely the fact he might’ve crashed the ship but pls don’t mistake #his final acts as being majority for Anya. the game keeps showing how these men keep prioritizing things over her even when they say they #won’t and it’s sad it’s so sad that we keep trying to say but what about him like they all do it #it’s not intentional but that’s what’s also bad about it like I doubt she made a suicide plan with him two months in advance #these characters are acting to get out of this and she knows her ending is not happy if she leaves or not she’s taking that choice to do it #and hell Swansea might not have known by the way he speaks to Daisuke and Jimmy that that was her plan to khs #likely either to just keep her and Curly locked in med bay until they got rescued or died #but it’s all speculation and thinking and I can only implore people to think why are you giving Swansea more credit?#cause I see him bittersweetly so used to the negatives he cares not for futile efforts #two months vs two days and each time nothing was really done for her other than prolonging her suffering around Jimmy #Swansea slept outside utility was drunk most of the time and it’s clear Jimmy was able to have access to Anya whenever #I mean look at the teaser where they sit at the table he is far from her with Daisuke #like it’s just frustration at this point thinking any guy on that ship was doing good by Anya specifically and not for their own reasons #like at least Curly was direct on the issue he still did mostly Jack shit but Swansea doesn’t even let Jimmy know he knows #and that’s another issue in rape culture of men avoiding calling other men what they are even if they hate them like #the game plays with the idea of knowing vs acknowledging and neither truly acknowledge it as a part of their actions #against Jimmy and god no one did better than Anya for Anya. they just weren’t heinous like Jimmy #mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #curly mouthwashing #captain curly #swansea mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing #nurse anya #it’s not all men but all men can and do play a part especially in the extreme scenario mouthwashing deposits

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fumifooms · 8 months ago

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Thistle & Falin

Just my narrative of Thistle & Falin, collection of shippy thoughts and dynamic analysis. Creating some imagery and threads, etc. What if we both made devotion to our loved ones our purpose, what if we both hadn’t lived for ourselves in a long, long time. Who are we? Beyond who we love and our powers, what are we?

Background info: a short Falin analysis touching on Faligon and Thistle + an old thistlin post, compiling most of their moments. Here I delve into further thoughts but for base analysis of what they have in canon and in potential those are good starts. If you want I also have a full Falin analysis.

Disclaimer: Beyond the nebulous 1000 years I place Thistle as a young adult, and though I agree Falin mothers him to some degree I don’t think it’s unsimilar to the way that Marcille is a mom friend that sometimes mothers Falin and Izutsumi especially. Their relationship has layers like every other one in Dunmeshi, reducing it to being incestuously motherly or age discoursy to justify it being problematic is so funny to me, hello did you miss the mind control. Ah yes I love the 1090 yo with godlike powers being groomed by his chicken slave. You can have your own interpretation but canon is ambiguous enough, and dare I say intentionally ambiguous, that I have no qualms with not infantilizing Thistle, same with Yaad at the end of canon. I do ship Thistle and Falin, and although it’s in a nebulous qpr-or-other third secret thing situationship instead of conventionally romantic way, like, I puke on anything giving them a parental framing so don’t come shitting on my doorstep, kid-Thistle truthers be warned. Only nuance enjoyers allowed on this post. It’s valid if you’re uncomfortable with the ship!! Don’t make your issue others’ problem.

I thankfully finished my Falin analysis before posting this, but besides that I also have an analysis coming on the whole Thistle age thing which I think is interesting, beyond the well being poisoned there are things to explore there, idk in how long that’ll be done though. That’s all for plans that are relevant to this, now let’s get into it.

Part 1

So my favorite Falin things are Faligon + her sense of being like a pawn/misplaced, going on autopilot to follow the wishes of others, a feeling of identity being a burden and sort of fleeing from that, and her not really caring in the way/with the intensity that she’s "supposed" to (as per the points I go over in my Falin analysis). Meanwhile, Thistle has a lot of shit going on already but then there’s also how being a dungeon lord is highly wearing on his mind. As Faligon and as dungeon lord Thistle, the way they’re both so out of touch with reality in different ways holy shit?? They have power imbalance between them and it very much comes from mind control lol, but it’s also not something Thistle is fully aware of himself, because the powers are driving him unstable and he’s not even aware there’s someone in front of him really. He’s so out of it that he can’t even recognize that the dragon has been fused with a human and she’s so out of it we can’t even tell how conscious of her actions she is.

And then the interesting thing is that they’re kind of in it together… Mostly from Falin’s standpoint. We see that he does rely on the dragon increasingly so, hanging out with it, being saved by it and embraced by her etc. When he lets them both fall after breaking the web they were hanging from, he automatically, fully and wordlessly trusts her to catch him, instead of relying on magic or anything, and she does. Falin devotes herself to him but he’s devoted to The Cause which is just chasing ghosts at this point. But despite it all there’s a weird comfort here too… From the guy who in his last moment of lucidity reached out for someone, anyone’s hand, from the guy who hasn’t felt companionship in hundreds of years probably, hasn’t taken it slow and slept and eaten in who knows how long, from the girl who feels compelled to care after him like she’s always done with others… And the beast-ness allows her to have some freedom to figure herself out in a weird way, to simply enjoy being beside someone and doing anything her own whims tell her to.

It’s very destructive and weird and layered but like…. I can see the sliver where it works out. Where her kindness reaches him and he has a moment of lucidity where he sees her and it’s like, wait, who are you, you’re not the dragon?? Where finding someone else who feels just as messed up and devoted as them, like they’re just trudging along life like it’s a dream following their loved one, heals them a bit. Where caring for the other becomes a way to care for themselves too, a dark mirror of each other that shows you, oh, this is how bad it can get and I want to choose something else for myself actually. To grow to see the person standing in front of you, instead of only searching with your eyes in what way they’ll reflect on you. In helping each other, finding some companionship that’s weirdly vulnerable and self-healing. He gets her in touch with herself and her own needs again through the arc and conflict they have, and she gets him in touch with the world and his surroundings again. They have clashing ways to be selfless, very self-sacrificial from Falin meanwhike self-centered with Thistle (he ‘knows best’, ‘everything needs to be left to him’, etc etc, he needs the control, but he does it all for others, meanwhile Falin leaves that control to others and only grabs it for herself in exceptional cases like sacrificing herself to the dragon for Laios).

Like just let yourself be, damn!!! So then them being like, zombie mentally stunted babies kind of enhances that theme in a way too lol. The way they communicate together is very… Instinctive and basic, and I’d love to see how it could develop into a functional dynamic. They’re in ‘learning to be your own person’ kindergarten together to me. Thistle looking at her coloring wildly outside the lines and being like "you’re doing it wrong" and then you look at his and he colored everything a weird color. The precision is scary but then his crayon goes 1 mm out of the lines and he blows up into tears. Ok the metaphor has run its course

So yeah like the ship/brotp is very, them being isolated and against the world together and like… Slowly regaining their minds together. Getting their sense of identity grounded into them again. In my mind they have a 50k words adventure where they hang out and he slowly realizes there’s more to her than just dragon and she encourages him to dawdle around and eventually just play in water and shit and it’s like, starting to see life again beyond the laser focus you limited yourself to… And she’s allowed to just chill out and do whatever she wants besides the whole searching for Delgal thing. You can’t tie down a dragon! They are a duo they are an unit‼️ He’d have been fucked without her and at this point in time he sort of made her and he’s her world. Traumabonded kittens do not separate but it’s onesided in different ways haha. Honestly it’s sort of reflavored mickuro wait fuck…

If nothing else, they’re a very interesting dynamic to ponder. The depths of it all… I want to use them as a social experiment. I want them to stop to smell at the flowers and learn to work together… They’re master and servant they’re owner and pet they’re mothering and mothered (in a guardian hound way, in a mom friend way) they’re both incredibly (emotionally and physically) vulnerable in different ways…… Master and monster if you will. Mostly I see them as guardian & leader. Like I said I ship them but it’s not really romantic atp I think but it’s not quite qpr either it’s truly a weird secret third thing… What if we were sort of coworkers but also ?!!!>??????! You should hate me but you fiercely protect me I should appreciate you but I only see you as a tool WHAT IS GOING ONNN IN THERE

He wants to be protected even if he can’t really admit it. Here the catalyst was emotional distress moreso than physical threat. Notice how he lays there under her wing for a bit as he (refuses to) processes what Mithrun told him about Delgal dying and betraying him. She’s becoming his safety net, his comfort hound. Somehow, the both of them find they’re soothed in each other’s presence.

It kills me. Them being so toxic at the start of it, then somehow ambiguously just hinting towards how things could have went on to be better, could have been headed somewhere nice and healing and healthier, she dies and he dies everyone fucking dies and they forget each other and it ends there they never speak of each other again. Canon wanted me dead specifically. Like remember too that I was there when the last chapters where being released, my ass really was like "Oh I wonder how Falin will react seeing Thistle after being revived!" 🤡 But yess at least that means there’s a lot of Unsaid, a lot of space for speculation, and I want to see what could have been. I want to see it so so bad. It’s so interesting

Post-canon is also so interesting, where they’re sort of recovered but not fully not really, them actually getting to know each other… And she doesn’t remember him but he doesn’t remember her either, in a way they’ve never met even though they have, even though she was the first one on his side since so long, the first hint of companionship he’s had, companionship that he’s so unused to getting that he can’t even recognize it for what it is. He couldn’t even recognize a human standing in front of him!! He is so disconnected from others and the world!! He spoke to ghosts like they had no worries in the world and everyone was ok!! He’s out of touch, tone-deaf af!! Has always been tone-deaf!! Being tone-deaf when he was younger, a stick in the mud, caused him to be more isolated than he already was… Autism4autism, anyways—

It’s them not knowing why or how to express it but being drawn together, a bond forged together by the fire of circumstances and coincidences— or is it only that? No one can know for certain but there’s a grip they have on each other there somehow. Weird distant caring thing. I dont know who you are but I feel like I should know you

It’s like my headcanon that she doesn’t know why, but on her travels she feels something when she comes across wild thistle flowers… There are just faint remnants, whispers of feelings like ghosts.

They should be remnants in each other’s lives. A deja vu of a person in the way Falin hugs small dolls to her chest, or how Thistle reminisces of something when he sees bird feathers discarded on the ground. < This paragraph courtesy of @cabinette’s huge brain

He canonically writes poems btw… Poems would be such a good way for him to get in touch with himself again post-canon, find desires in again and get creative fulfillment. He should make poems about her. To explore and vent and express all the vague feelings and memories he has, both those of during canon and after canon. He doesn’t remember her but he remembers her, slivers of kind eyes and warm gentle hands and healing magic like a blanket…

Yaad, an unlicensed therapist but the best you're gonna get in fantasy land: Maybe you should try journaling.

And too the thing is their relationship with each other in a way is ONLY about themselves, even when Falin is being self-sacrifical it’s less about him and more about how she generally is, that sort of instinct to latch onto someone and just follow along with whatever they do and ask, meanwhile to Thistle she’s only ever been a factor in his plans. Idk idk them getting to that point where they see and know each other, stumbling into that through canon or actively working towards it post-canon, there’s weird beauty in that Like. Thistle cares about her because he’ll take anyone as long as they fit the job description well enough, he’s desperate to find Delgal and will grasp at straws to find him. In a similar way that he’ll reach for someone, anyone’s hand on the verge of death, she seeks to protect someone, anyone. That’s how she centers herself, makes someone her compass and her world. Falin wants to protect someone and Thistle would use anyone, pushed to the states they were in they would latch onto anyone for comfort (caring for him, grabbing Marcille’s hand).

Mirrors truly truly. And Thistle likes to shatter those, and silence anyone who tries to talk to him about reality, so then the option left is to be by him quietly and subtly gradually, gently (her specialty) nudge him in the right direction … Nooo but actually why did he shatter those mirrors. Very interesting to think about. Would seeing himself in others anger him?

I like to call him a ghost of who he was sometimes, a ghost of the past, he’s so haunted, and I think there’s fun imagery there too. The care she offers Thistle somewhat reminds me of the one she offers ghosts. I wonder if part of it is that she sees herself in ghosts, that she wants to offer them freedom and peace of mind she can’t get for herself.

And of course meanwhile on her end, the thistlin arc is also about growing self-respect. I don’t want to see Thistle as a lost cause in saying that her efforts are wasted on him, but being so permissive and invested in him is obviously not healthy for her. She needs to learn when to put her foot down

Oooh, just realized that choosing to eat in this scene was a big character moment all things considered. By eating she faltered in her task, stood up for herself and her needs, was selfish for once (/positive go get your damn food girl). She chose to eat. Anyways

I bet he’s the one who healed her wounds after the Shuro party fight. And on that note— it’s interesting he could change her form from Falin to Faligon without touching her isn’t it? Healing by everyone else like Marcille and Falin always required touch, physical contact between the healer and healee, which some like Chilchuck say is a negative, but… The dungeon lord not needing to touch to heal makes a nice metaphor for how isolating the powers are I think. Truly clinical instead of warm. Theme of community and freely offering affection in Dungeon Meshi etc etc. Like I said, Thistle is out of touch.

The way that he has the powers to change her form and heal and like soo much magic power but he can’t even realize when he’s hurting himself and she’s the one who has to heal him. He’s so fully devoted to the cause even when he acts selfishly that he neglects himself too, and she has to remind him to take care of himself, to eat, etc. That she feeds him. Eating is an act of love to yourself and to life. The berries, the curry, the soup that Thistle refuses to eat—

Do you see the vision. Do you see all the narrative relevance and themes and parallels of their dynamic. To chase ghosts, to cling onto them so they stay with you no matter how warped and ugly they get, and to soothe souls, purifying them and helping them depart for the afterlife… Both magic prodigies whose lives revolve around protecting and caring after their loved ones more than anything else. A family member who looks elsewhere while they are their whole world. They can flee their emotional issues together 🤝 Who are we? Beyond who we love and our power, what are we? I think about the way she cradled him in her arms just before they fell down into the dungeon all the time idk idk

^ End notes from the one fic I wrote about them so far: Slivers, on AO3. For a moment, they were both slivers of themselves, bound together.

Thistle feverishly holding onto ghosts of the past and his source of power, meanwhile Falin cradles the people she can protect in the now with the powers that reside in her… Him cradling his book, her cradling her master……… Parallels

Interlude

And yess it’s important to remember too, Thistle became a mage only after delgal asked… He had innate talent, but moreso than Falin it’s through studies that he learned to actually harness his magic etc. Idk I think it’s an interesting parallel that could have interesting stuff be done on it. People often characterize him as predominantly bratty but. He’s smart and composed he’s mainly smart and composed… He’s unstable and everything during canon was happening all at once with the winged lion being freed and Laios’ party and the canaries and agh </3 He can have a meltdown as a treat he’s smart and cool-headed if it wasn’t for the dungeon wearing on his mind ok… Obvi I love my chars with anger issues but saying he’s overly childish is having tunnel vision I think

Ok so the elephant in the room… First of all how present is Falin in Falugon exactly…… We have no clue. The end sequence does show her in purgatory with a dragon foot holding her down, which can easily be read as it suppressing her personality- with how it’s shown though it feels like she’d be fully suppressed by that? And we know that’s not the case, since not only does she recognize Laios and calls out to him, she hesitates to hurt Kuro because of the dog association, she’s excessively kind towards Thistle, the latter which her Adventurer’s Bible profile confirm to be "her kind nature remaining as the chimera". Maybe it’s a dream-like state? Maybe the dragon is the driving force with the instincts, and it’s only bits of Falin and her personality that show through? A state of mind very primal and not very think-y, even if Falin has enough brains to think of sharing the berries, gesturing and oh- of course, casting magic. No issues with controlling the human half of her body as well. To some degree, her and the dragon are working in tandem. My own preferred interpretation is the driven by instincts one, a state of mind like an actual dragon’s, which in my Falin analysis I delve into the significance of it for other parts of Dunmeshi too. So yeah, dreamlike mindless autopilot… I think exploring her pov as Faligon would go super hard. Aware of her surroundings but sort of disconnected with it, and disconnected from herself too, entirely living in the present… And like with her talking to Laios— the only time she speaks in her chimera form, a simple observation, "Laios, brother", sometimes her human thoughts peek through more sharply, short moments of lucidity… I think it’d be interesting to see an arc where as the chimera, she learns to share the "brainspace" more with the dragon.

It’s also unclear if Thistle had a say in how much of ‘Falin the human’ is in control? He very well might have suppressed her somehow when he changed her form to be more dragonlike. That might also be due to just getting back the dragon meat though— and the dragon meat itself might be why/how the brainspace is shared. There is a lot less of Falin’s body in the chimera than there is of the dragon, body mass wise. Dungeon Meshi is a lot about physicality so I wouldn’t be surprised with this reasoning. But there’s the whole mind control soul bond situation too…

The mind bond is another thing that’s left mostly to interpretation when it comes to the details. She feels compelled to listen to the dungeon lord’s orders as a monster created and owned by it, like the dragons Thistle summoned during the fight at his house, but again like we see with the dragons, if the monster has a "strong will" it can disobey to some level without being punished by the bind or anything. The eyes of the magician, the small wyverns, level-of-control wise can’t be accurate examples because they’re sort of like familiars, Thistle can see through their eyes in real time no matter where they are but it’s only this species as far as we know. So otherwise the mind bond is more subtle… There’s also the question of how much the control is shared between the dungeon lord and the demon, which again Thistle’s situation is exceptional because he managed to seal his demon in a book, presumably all the power goes through Thistle without the intermediate of the winged lion, though we do see he has some reach since he reaches Laios through his dreams. ANYWAYS all that to say. I do really ponder about how a dungeon lord's monsters get their orders, like... For the fight on the first floor, did Falin just feel Thistle's agony in her bones and came clawing and barging her way in desperately and angrily to protect him because of his distress, or did he more directly demand she come, consciously or not?! Idk, since Falin is actively protective of him unlike the dragons who reluctantly listen to him, her being very fast and intense about it doesn’t have to be forced… It’d be interesting if she can sense his feelings, wants or thoughts, bc I don’t think it’s as conscious as like, telepathically communicating "hey you, do this"…? Pondering, pondering. Mind bond <3 Soulbound <3

They’re both very trapped in the past… I wonder if as Faligon a lot of her mind goes back to memories of Laios and such, if she’s in a dreamlike state and not just sort of absent, where would her mind retreat... I don’t think so like I said I think she’s mostly driven by dragonlike mindlessness, but still… Thistle stuck in the search of Delgal, thinking back to everything they’ve shared and where it all went wrong obsessively, and Falin, sort of larping that she’s still beside Laios, not unlike how Thistle treats having the corpses of the royal family at his house like them being safe. Delusions. Idk I just want more character studies.

The metaphors in this truly… It’s not literal, like def not something that happens during canon at no point are they or could be ever atop a mountain of frames and paintings of the Golden Kingdom’s royal family and fine art lmaoo, so then like the meaning behind it all… She offers him reprieve, an outsider from all the Golden Kingdom expectations and drama, just someone warm to lean on, someone who’ll stay…….. I love Faligon pushing him to rest and nap so much. Man has first nap in a thousand years. Feather duvet like a nice warm pillow. The peace she offers him man……. Live in the present bbygirl Unfortunately it doesn't help. Look at them eyebags… Man needs to sleep!!

Part 2

^ This panels drives me crazy It’s the possessivity. It’s the "my". It’s the "stealing".

What if you have fear of abandonment and think you have to prove your worth for people to stay by your side. What if belonging to someone makes you feel like you belong and you feel loved and soothed by it lowkey, feel like it makes things easy. What if I was bought as a slave and servant but I was adopted into a pretty loving family. What if ownership is what love looks like to me. What if that’s why I have no problem rationalizing keeping people against their will in a glorified kingdom-prison, because that’s just what someone with the power who Knows Better does, and… Did he always call her his dragon hello? Feelings

He is not letting it go damn He hates when people mess with what's his. Or Delgal’s.

But imagine. The dragon is like, the last thing he has. The Golden Kingdom has moved on from him, everything is shit, but his dragon is the last thing he still has some realm of like. Ownership over. But that ownership is kinda just his sense of belonging. His role, his duty. So it’s like "Don’t steal the last thing I have" especially if post-canon… It’s thinking from his time as a jester bought into a loving family that ownership is natural in love and care. It’s thinking that’s the way you get to belong beside someone, beside earning that through achievements and being useful and capable. Everything is being stolen away from him. Control and things and people and even the importance he has to the Golden Kingdom as he becomes part of the background & past history and the kingdom switches into new hands aka Laios’…

My dragon, not the dragon. I do like to imagine especially after the berries he’s starting to feel differently about her. He keeps being like "you’re acting odd, dragon". His dragon is special. She’s not just another regular monster npc to easily replace, there’s human contact in there. His dragon just for him. <3

I do think Falin has some issues with like, asking to be with the people she loves, feeling safe in asking for that, that she’s worth that. She follows them and is quiet and just takes the crumbs of love that they offer, she doesn’t ask Marcille at the academy to spend lunches with her, doesn’t ask anything of her distant busy father and ill anxious mother… The person she did ask things of, Laios, who she always asked to go travel the world with him and whatnot, left her behind. Like how Delgal left Thistle. Theme of leaving </3 theme of family and abandonment issues </3 So she just follows and cares after them and makes herself useful and is grateful she gets to be beside them at all. So yeah what I’m saying is being owned/belonging to someone might feel yeah like, belonging. Being One Person's. He’s seen her at her worst and most bloody and raw, and still wants her? Very comforting And especially post-canon he doesn’t need her to be witty or useful or such, he just needs her love and that’s what she has lots to give.

Do you think Falin wants to be needed… Do you think she’s a little restless if she doesn’t feel like she is, like she thinks just like Laios people might leave you behind and you never see them again. It’s also because of what she said, that she put others before herself, that she just followed/imprinted on her parents/Laios/Marcille. She avoided conflict, she wanted to be liked and live in peace. The only times she was selfish, she hurt people (left school for Laios, sacrificed herself for them, teleported them out despite possibly hurting people on the surface), so she chooses to be selfless instead. "One of the most selfish things i've ever done was barely even for the sake of myself" - Falin and Toshiro both hah Falin is often told she doesn’t care the right way or not enough, you’re cutting classes Falin, I’m upset you left me and you don’t even seem to think it’s a big deal Falin, you shouldn’t have sacrificed yourself to save me (her not noticing her ostracization in her village wasn’t told to her but I’m including it also). And with Toshiro when considering her proposal, she was worried to accept because yeah it’s have been convenient but she wouldn’t be reciprocating his feelings in the way he wants and expected her to with what he asked of her… And she’s worried it wouldn’t be right… Bc she doesn’t care about the proposal on the same level he does….. I just think that’s neat I think that Falin caring both too little and too much, with laser focus on Laios & Marcille neglecting even herself, is a big part of her. She focuses on others and their emotional needs so so much always, babygirl be selfish for a while…

Thistle’s interaction with Laios is interesting too, especiaoly when Kaios heals him. How he looks at his shoulder, surprised and confused… Guy who's used to not having his personal needs met because he's so busy doing everything for the people he cares about receives care??? Woah that’s crazy Something something being so unused to human contact and affection that you don’t know how to process it and don’t recognize it when it happens/stares you right in the face. Thistle the Toudens are gonna make you open up ur heart to humans again on god…

What if… He doesn’t want to admit she’s not the dragon. If he admits it’s not the dragon that means giving up some control… This was not in his plan, he doesn’t know how well he can control a chimera rather than a dragon, it’s weakness it’s vulnerability it’s feeling like he’s losing his grip on everything again and thus losing his place and purpose. Hmm…

Finding yourself through someone else… Because defining yourself through others is what you’ve always done… Yeah. Yeah.

I do love it tying into Falin’s arc of finding herself. Like, she doesn’t remember her time as a chimera, she just remembers this guy she has conflicted but fond feelings of for some reason, so say if they travel post-canon, traveling with him would also be a way to figure out more how she’s feeling, and then there’s how when looking at him she gets the feeling that it’s been a long time he hasn’t lived for himself either… And like for him traveling is about seeing the world a bit too. Seeing it not as something to control or always dangerous but something to explore, and just enjoy the little things instead of worrying about the court. And just. Aghhhh. He hasn’t had someone on his side for centuries. Sighs. Of course Yaad also becomes that largely but traveling post-canon with Falin… Would love to see that in fancontent

Them growing to SEE each other, with the film in front of their eyes slowly fading away. Both of them coming out of it more genuine than they’d been even before meeting, before becoming warped, growing more comfortable in their skin and with the thought of connecting with others. It’s the mutual care <33 it’s having been on each other’s side at both your ugliest <3 Unconventional caring...

Toshiro saying "you can’t tie down a dragon" is always so good… Someone should so do stuff with that. "But you can tame it" / "I tried to once" / "but she chose to stay with me anyways"… Musical theme of How to Train your Dragon starts playing in the distance

When/after they get together, I feel like their relationship isn’t something they like to label… If anything it’s like. Partner. Or calling each other by name… Him calling her my dragon, except now it’s warm and personal would be so. Aughh <3 But then that just also makes the first time he calls her by name so huge.

Conclusion

They and their relationship is weird and unusual but that’s just how they are, and how they need to accept themselves (again: as they are) and roll with it! And make a place in the world for them anyways!

Magic forced them to be vulnerable in front of each other but it’s them who have to like… Be pushed out of their passivity and do something with that vulnerability.

BROTHERSSS THEY’RE BOTH ALL ABOUT BROTHERS. LEAVING. OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY. OUT OF TOUCH WITH THEMSELVES AND THEIR OWN IDENTITY. In a twisted way only the other would understand what it’s like.

Thistlin is so crazy, in humanizing you it humanizes me, in recognizing you for what you are I get more back in touch with the world again.

Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom there are risks and drawbacks. Thistle was Falin’s.

It’s not everyday you can have a ship where both characters are out of touch with reality and others and themselves and have this weird almost innate bond of her being compelled to protect him and care for him and him holding onto that unknowingly… Even if he didn’t need to, keeping her by himself and sitting on her while he plans and has a panic attack….. And also he owns her and robbed her of her freedom & body & full mind but she still wuvs him. Weird intimacy with the guy who horrifically changed you into something else, and yet is not even aware he has done it.

Falin loves nature and Thistle is named after a flower… Her post-canon coming across wild thistles and feeling a rush of fondness and she doesn’t know why… Thistles have thorns, but they taste sweet. Just gotta peel them off and enjoys the sweet taste of it once it’s open <3 Eat it like them honeysuckles

Slice of life 40k words thistlin sitcom I need you. Don’t make me write it myself. Sob

You are so so close sweetie…

wutiwant

I don't know what I want But I know it's not this These words don't mean nothing Once they left my lips More awake inside of my dreams Was that really you, next to me? Give me what I want, who am I supposed to please? Who am I supposed to please? Who am I? Who am I? I? Give me what I want Give me what I want

Some links, since the pair is small enough that finding stuff for them can be hard: Falin & Thistle search on pixiv Falin & Thistle search on danbooru Ao3: Thistle x Falin, Thistle & Falin Ship names: ファリシス / シスファリ. Thistlin

My own spotify playlists: Thistle & Falin, Thistle, Falin

source v

#Early thistle my beloved #Qpr or romo who knows Thistle has a job so he don’t really care about that rn #They’re only allowed to send each other mind waves and feed each other’s deep seated loneliness in ways neither can express #Like how do u even begin talking about these two damn. Sighhh. Looking wistfully out my window #Fumi rambles #Thistle #falin touden #thistlin #falisle #Maybe lol #thistle x falin #A buddy said they’re like ghibli romance and then my mind got consumed by a spirited away au for them #Sissel #Dunmeshi rarepairs #Analysis #Like I often say I love to explore a character through a relationship and for Thistle that’s Falin to me #The arc of it all… “are you even a dragon or what’ you’ve been acting strange since you changed forms” progress omg…. You are so close #Making castles out of the building blocks canon gave us #They’re both devoted body and soul to their brothers like augh. They both drive themselves into the ground for them #This is really just a collection of thoughts and i repeat myself a lil. The structure of this is so shite feel free to just skim or whateve #Their lives are centered around otherssss i can’t get over it #Psspspsps thistlin fans come you are sweet now my sweet child. If anyone wants 5.5k words of thistlin meta here u go #Happy 1 year in the dunmeshi fandom to me. Going back to my roots #Spoilers

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majorasnightmare · 2 months ago

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thinking about isobel and ketheric, and my durge and ketheric, and isobel and my durge

like ketheric whos entire personality is centered around being a failed father, dirge who lives solely and exclusively for a father who does not love him, isobel being horribly violated for the sake of fatherly love in the name of a person shell never be again like excuse me this trio of people makes me go insane

ketheric and dirge like!! zealot recognizes zealot, ketheric knows what its like to be devoted wholeheartedly to a god who will discard you and thats explicitly why he has a businesslike relationship with myrkul, who KNOWSSS ketherics heart isnt in it but doesnt care, ketheric who never fully believed in the absolute plan but carried it out nonetheless, ketheric who nonsensically traded the death of the world for his daughters life, who in reality most likely traded his afterlife for isobels life, knowingly condemning himself to never see melodia again, to an eternity of torture at myrkuls hands, just so isobel can breathe again. dirge knowing with perfect clarity his own father would never do that for him. ketheric knowing that kind of hopeless devotion and willful blind ignorance leads to a kind of iron will that makes dirge genuinely dangerous but pitying the poor fool nonetheless because despite dirges clear intelligence and skill, despite his overwhelmingly obvious power, hes shackled to a self destructive idiot whod bite off his own arm just to spite the world who couldnt give a single fuck about dirges mental state or how that affects achieving bhaals OWN goals and fulfilling his OWN desires, because ketheric understands perfectly well a god will be stupid and selfish first and reasonable and measured second. dirge hating ketheric not just for being a wishywashy traitor who cant settle on something to be devoted to, but because ketheric has the shit figured out. its a zero sum game. theres no winning, only different types of losers, and embracing that truth means acknowledging his entire life has been a pointless self destructive waste that will never give him the satisfaction and actualization dirge craves, so its easier and more stable to just interpret ketheric as a coward. except hes going to kill himself for isobel. going to go through hell for her. theres a level of devotion and love and care there that dirge has only experienced once in his life and the memory of it is enough to drive him to madness, but despite it all ketheric IS competent. is level and measured and powerful and capable of looking past his own self interest to the far horizon of victory, is tactical and clever and willing to wade into the fray. so dirge hates, and admires, and envies, and pities, and reflexively seeks out and avoids ketheric in equal measure. wants to carve him up until he finally breaks, screaming for a god that wont hear him as just rewards for his insolence (because dirges loyalty will SURELY be rewarded, loyalty to his god and to his father, certainly), cant stand the idea of working alongside anyone else, hates being around him but hates doing things without him, falling into old habits of depravity just to get away from the cacophany of emotion and the introspection it tries to trigger.

and then ketheric is doing all of this for someone who doesnt really exist. the isobel he wants to revive isnt real. its a version of her thats stripped hollow of the things that make her, HER. he wants an isobel that doesnt love aylin, he wants an isobel that is content to remain in place and be protected by him, where he was the center of her world. he wants an isobel that hasnt existed for over a century. he wants an isobel like he remembers thinking of the days before melodia died. its why despite everything he gives up for her, if ketheric gets his hands on isobel he tadpoles her. the tadpoles are just a convenient tool for cutting away the unnecessary parts of a person, things they dont need and wont want afterwards. isobel mourns the father she had after her mother died, but ketheric wants the isobel she used to be when melodia was still present in their lives. the isobel after melodia died eventually left him for aylin. grew up and became a person outside of their small family and community. had interests and desires and goals that took her away from him. she doesnt need aylin, doesnt need anything besides family. thats whats important, thats whats worth ruining lives over. everything after isobel was just a failed copy, not even worth reminiscing over. everyone beyond isobel doesnt matter. desecrate the family tomb, abuse your son, drag your aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters out from the grave just to see if it works, if it sticks, because the whole world revolves around a little girl who stopped existing long before she died, because she became someone else someone new and left you floundering alone. youll get them back even if it means you burn in hell forever, those few precious moments are worth it, itll all be worth it, its already worth it. kill yourself kill the world because the only god worth dying for is the one found in between poorly scratched letters on a paper rotting from age that say "love you papa, -I T". live every day with the smoke and the rot knowing that your father loved you so much he cant even look at who you are now. live every day knowing its a gift you cant return to a man who doesnt see you, knowing that all youll ever have are ghosts that seek to hollow you out and play pretend with the shell. hes awful. hes horrible. hes a monster. hes your dad and he loves you so much its killing you. will kill you. has killed you. has killed everything you could ever want in your life. hes your dad. he read you stories when you were small. kept you from falling apart when your mother died. your rock in stormy seas. he wants to read you another story. its dark outside. its scary. this story has a happy ending. its just for you. the girl in the picture book has your name but doesnt look like you at all. its written in silver blood. theres an ache that wont leave, a rot that refuses to mend, a scar that wont close, and its all for love

thinking about dirge being the one to drag isobel from her coffin, to bring her back for the sake of sealing a pact that will end the world, going against his entire religion the whole reason for his existence just for the sake of fulfilling his own fathers dreams. children living at the behest of their parents, denied death for their fathers selfish whims. isobel autopsied and opened, layers peeled back. gortash and ketheric never exhumed a body, never prepared it for the grave, never made such an intimate study of death. gortash unwilling to bloody himself unnecessarily, ketheric unwilling to look past the deathmask to see isobels interior, so its dirge, it has to be him, the only one willing to bite down his own desires for the greater good. an unforgivable violation of autonomy, but the only one who thinks of it as such is the scion of the murder god. she cant consent. she cant choose to be apart of this, to sacrifice herself for a cause greater than herself. he has to inflict this upon her. life is suffering and madness and delusion. death is peace, and he is the holy vessel of transition from one state to the other. this? this is blasphemy. she has already fled this horrid blighted world for a better one, and here he is participating in blasphemous ritual. its for the sake of their plan, its for the sake of enacting his fathers dreams (as all children know, you are naught but a vessel to achieve the goals they could not in their time), but she cannot even take glory in the knowledge of her sacrifice, cannot even know she is a sacrifice until its too late to go back. carves open and peels back the picturesque skin, preserved by gloom and arid darkness and sealed stone to keep away the rot. peeling away the mask of Isobel Thorm to see the visceral rotting insides of a person ketheric cant stand to see.

clearing away the ruin and decay so something new can take its place. corpses are objects fled of souls, no longer a person, no longer anything and thus free to toy and play with as boredom and curiosity desires, but this is not a thing. this will again be a person, a vessel to trap someone inside of, to force them to suffer and persist and delude and live and he cant even ask if shell do it. do it to help him break the world and put an end to this madness forever. cant convince her of the rightousness of it, the necessity of it, cant help but use her for it. to gortash she is a token exchanged for power, to ketheric she is a snapshot of a better world he wants to go back to, but only here on this dirty bloodstained table with a bhaalspawn elbow deep in her organs is she a person, whos autonomy and personhood is being irrevocably violated. his nature is to free them of these shackles, to snip the cords and revel in the ensuing destruction, and here he is binding her again. the humiliation, the horror, of being set loose from this hellscape only to be brought back. to be dragged, kicking and screaming, back into living. to be subject to such awful blasphemy. here in the dark and the quiet where there is no voice to speak back to him, when there is no rushing blood or beating hearts to call forth his purpose, there and then does armageddons prophet desire forgiveness, only in this shadowed purgatory can someone truly see. when all the world lies dead at my feet, i will beg forgiveness from no one but you. lamb on the altar, holy blood, if such desecration was not necessary for the cleansing of suffering, i would never deign to subject you to it. to you alone do i tender my apologies, my blessed father may forgive this sin in light of the retribution it will call forth, but cruel fate has chosen you without your knowledge to bear this disgusting violation, and the only salve i can offer is that, gods willing, you will not suffer long. to live in a world that could give rise to something like me is a torture i would not wish upon anyone, and for the sake of my father i inflict it upon you nonetheless. when you rise, my only thoughts will be of murder, holy and pure. but here in the dark, when you are at peace and i am not, i think of you, and what youd want, and how no one would ever, COULD ever, ask for what i do to you here. here in the quiet i breathlessly whisper a prayer meant only for your ears, a second sin i cannot stop myself from committing, here where you cannot hear me but God surely can, a wish that i will surely pay for dearly, a punishment i endure willingly and without complaint, a smallest fraction of the torment i knowingly inflict upon you. i live, and soon so shall you, and for that, i will never know peace.

im so sorry. i did it for love

#bg3 durge #bg3 #bg3 dark urge #bg3 isobel #bg3 ketheric #ketheric thorm #isobel thorm #dirgecore #dirgeposting #like just for the record this is my particular durge but AUGHHHHHHH #dirge being the only person who routinely and regularly thinks about isobel as a person instead of as a symbol #dirge who consistently chooses her at every crossroads even when it hurts him #isobel who gets a second chance at life twice over because of him #dirge sacrificing his religious beliefs (literally the ONLY thing he lives for) to participate in bringing isobel back #dirge fighting off the urge (which makes him attack his loved ones!!!) because he refuses to hurt her #dirge making an enemy of shar because he wont let shadowheart become a gods pawn and he wont sacrifice aylin for the conditional love of go #isobel who didnt want to die. didnt know how to live after reviving. getting her life AND a reason to live back because of dirge #who lost everything because of the domino effects of those choices #who got his own second chance because of those choices #like it really is just that quiet moment where neither of them can talk to the other #because shes dead and he isnt #and then they BOTH get new lives free of their fathers because of it #LIKE AUGHHHHHHH IM SO FUCKING NORMALLLL #ITS SEEING EACH OTHER WHEN NO ONE ELSE WILL!!!#in that silent tomb. ''your a person. i see you even if your father doesnt''.#and then AGAIN back to him in last light!!! ''your a person. i see you even if your father doesnt'' LIKE!!!!#ARE YOU PEOPLE SEEING THIS!!!!

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