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threeacttragedy Ā· 2 hours ago
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Entry 18: The One Where Two Roads Diverged in a Wood of GIFs and Written Words
ā€œLukola Crisis Hotline. How may I be of service?ā€
Me: Houston, we have a problem.
Dad: Do tell!
Me: You wonā€™t believe who showed up last night! ā€“
Dad: Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! Whoa! I donā€™t know what to say! Wait ā€“ let me grab my Coke and my smokes. <waiting> Okay, Iā€™m back. So, Misty appeared out of nowhere with Thang?! Well, this just got fun! <laughing>
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For clarityā€™s sake, my father tends to give everyone a pet name. Some of the pet names are funny; some are quite cruel. But if they help him remember who the players are in this fandom (and in any other situation), Iā€™m game to play along. Plus, his pet names tend to add a little comedy relief to whatever is being discussed, especially when it is not an outwardly funny subject.
In Lukola-Land, Luke is ā€œThangā€ (itā€™s actually ā€œThingā€ ā€“ as in the hand from The Addams Family ā€“ but my dadā€™s accent muddles the pronunciation into ā€œThangā€); Nicola is ā€œIreland,ā€ for obvious reasons; Antonia is ā€œMisty,ā€ for, umm, the Clint Eastwood movie, ā€œPlay Misty for Me;ā€ and Jake is ā€“ well, Jake is actually just ā€œJakeā€ because my father finds the USS Jakola offensive. In fact, when I was discussing the recent fandom events with him on Friday evening, my dad was genuinely shocked to learn the Jakolas still existed. His pet name for the Jakolas is ā€œFucking Stupid,ā€ by the way.
Moving on to the matter at hand ā€“
Thereā€™s been so much ā€œnoiseā€ over the past few weeks that, when taken collectively, it is rather eye-opening. Weā€™ve got Lukeā€™s mother posting on Facebook about ā€œLukeā€™s girlfriendā€¦from Cyprus.ā€ The leaked funeral video and photos (by allegedly Lukeā€™s family). The Best in Show pap pictures of Nicola and Jake. The ā€œjust friendsā€ interview. The disappearance of Jake (because heā€™s rehearsing for a play) and the sudden reemergence of Antonia.
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If youā€™ve noticed from my recent entries on this blog, I have obviously found most of what has happened of late to be comical and not worth putting into written word. Instead, my thoughts have been dumped into GIF stories. To be honest, I was rather disappointed I couldnā€™t put this last part ā€“ Antonia emerging from the misty edges of the forest ā€“ entirely into a GIF story. Her reappearance was like a certain Bond villain coming back to life for the seventh time. In other words, it was total cringe. But it also altered an otherwise slow burning campfire into a motherfucking forest fire.
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Me: Thoughts?
Dad: I need some time to think about this one ā€“ and a cigarette. Or two. Call me back in 15 minutes.
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ā€œPsychotic Fan Rescue Center, at your service.ā€
Me: Youā€™re a dumbass.
Dad: <laughing> Well, this is insane. It makes no sense and itā€™s a convoluted mess. Why bring Misty back? She was killed off two seasons ago.
Me: No shit, Sherlock.
Dad: Hell, maybe this has all been a nest of vipers.
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A nest of vipers? Ah, yes, the idea that we have a group of venomous snakes thrown into the same close-quartered trench ā€“ in an every-man-for-himself type situation ā€“ each taking strikes at the others whenever their backs are turned.
In Entries 1, 13, and 15 ā€“ with an emphasis on ā€œEntry 13: The One Where the Ashes Blew Towards Us with the Salt Wind from the Seaā€ ā€“ I wrote about what the Lutonia narrative could look like, if real. I will not rehash in detail those entries here, but I will link them at the end of this entry if you want to read, or reread, them.
Now, the General Audience almost certainly didnā€™t pay a lick of attention to Antonia when she appeared alongside Luke at the Boss event held January 30 (sheā€™s always just been a Face in the Crowd). But the sudden reappearance of Antonia stopped the Lukolas dead in their tracks because ā€“ like my dad said ā€“ she was seemingly killed off two seasons ago.
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The Lukolas have suddenly found themselves at an intersection of confusion and, likely, a bit of distress. The long and winding road weā€™ve been traveling along has diverged into two paths ā€“ and, no, you cannot travel both.
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The problem with the Lutonia narrative has always been that Luke has never formally acknowledged Antonia as his girlfriend. In fact, Luke had the perfect opportunity to do so when he posted about the Boss event on his Instagram grid ā€“ but he did not. I could rationalize the idea that Luke and Antonia wanted to keep their relationship private after the Papsmear misstep if it werenā€™t for the fact that Antonia has been historically loud in her social media posts. We spent the summer and fall with insinuation post after insinuation post from Antonia. Yes, all those posts that alluded to her being with Luke without any actual evidence that she was, in fact, with Luke. By the time Antonia got to ā€œPasta-gateā€ in mid-November, the Lukola fandom barely even blinked before dismissing her as, well, the antagonist from ā€œPlay Misty for Me.ā€ And this leads to something even more problematic for the USS Lutonia ā€“ Luke has never rescued Antonia from being ridiculed and torn apart by the fandom. My dad would call ā€“ and has called ā€“ Luke a cad for this.
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Jumping to the other side of this misshapen triangle, we have Nicola and her Assassin (my dadā€™s pet name for JVN). Assuming Lutonia is real, the only logical answer for Nicolaā€™s behavior is that she has spent months trolling Luke, Antonia, and <gasp> the fandom. Nicola herself has admitted to being chronically online and, at a minimum, being aware of fan edits ā€“ so much so that during the London premiere she commented that she and Luke ā€œcanā€™t do anythingā€ without the fandom reacting to it. Therefore, I will call ā€œfoulā€ on anyone who tries to persuade me that Nicola was unaware of, at a minimum, how the Lukola fandom had reacted to the Claddagh ring, Chaos Week, and the October airplane posts. JVN openly mocking Antonia on social media with, for example, their Slick Back Bun routine only added fuel to this fire.
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For shits and giggles ā€“ and so I can get to the bend in this road ā€“ we will roll with my dadā€™s ā€œNest of Vipersā€ theory for a moment. We will concede that Lutonia is real, which, in my opinion, makes Luke the absolute worst boyfriend in London and Antonia a woman who doesnā€™t mind being treated like roadkill. It also, unfortunately, makes Nicola and Fan Favorite JVN come off like online bullies ā€“ with the only plausible reasoning for the bullying being that Luke and Nicola are at odds with each other. No, I take that back ā€“ theyā€™re not at odds with each other ā€“ theyā€™re seemingly at war with each other. Iā€™ll even amp this up a bit and throw in the suggestion that, assuming Lutonia is real, Netflix & Co. is aware of the strife between its two Polin actors and are protecting their asset with blurred Polin-Lukola posts to pacify the fandom. Dun-Dun-DUNN! And yes! That was a sly nod to Jake.
Me: Thanks for that. You just made Luke into an absolute prick and gave Antoniaā€™s starring role in ā€œPlay Misty for Meā€ to Nicola.
Dad: Hey, Iā€™m not the one who dug up Misty! That was all Thang!
Me: Then why does everyone say Luke is the nicest person? Nicola, his co-stars ā€“ Ā 
Dad: All lies.
Me: Would you STOP?!
Dad: But Iā€™m serious! Thang could be a complete pig behind closed doors and Ireland could be on the verge of a psychotic meltdown because, uhh, maybe sheā€™s obsessed with Thang and pissed he chose Misty.
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The unfortunate thing about this Nest of Vipers theory is that I could almost certainly make a convincing argument that it was legit. Iā€™ve always joked with my Inner Circle of Lukolas that no one wants to see me go rogue, especially not ā€“ Iā€™ll bite my tongue on that one. But I will emphasize the importance of keeping an open mind when youā€™re reviewing information. Always consider both sides of the coin. That said, itā€™s hard to ignore the evidence that was presented to us through the World Tour interviews and behind-the-scenes footage; therefore ā€“
Me: Iā€™m having a hard time believing Luke is someone who wouldnā€™t protect his girlfriend. He seems to support Nicola online quite a bit. Why wouldnā€™t he do the same for Antonia?
Dad: <laughing> Fine. Antonia isnā€™t his girlfriend. Maybe itā€™s all just a bunch of fuckery like Iā€™ve always said.
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ā€œFuckeryā€ is my dadā€™s pet name for PR bullshit. If you didnā€™t pick up on it in previous entries, I am not fond of PR theories. But I also cannot ignore that PR relationships do exist and have for decades (hell, we could go back centuries and find examples of PR relationships across multiple noble and royal families ā€“ think about that, naysayers). It was my dad who first sold me on the possibility of Antonia being PR. So, I will consider this road to PR-ville in the same manner as I did the Nest of Vipers theory ā€“ with this PR theory having perhaps the better claim.
I mentioned earlier that the General Audience almost certainly paid little attention to Antoniaā€™s existence at the Boss event. Although some people may find what Iā€™m about to say a bit unkind, it doesnā€™t make it any less valid (and Iā€™m not saying it to be cruel): Antonia, in the overall scheme of things, is of very little importance to the General Audience. She has less than 15 thousand followers on Instagram, even after being connected to a man who has almost three million. However, oddly enough, that didnā€™t prevent the Daily Mail from dropping a story which predominantly focused on Antonia within the same timeframe that images from the Boss event were being dropped on the Internet. It also didnā€™t prevent video footage of Luke and Antonia at the Boss event from being leaked online almost immediately ā€“ even when there were undoubtedly more famous celebrities attending the event. Iā€™ll be realistic with this next comment, too: Luke may be relevant to the Bridgerton fandom, but that does not mean he is significant to, say, People Magazineā€™s average reader. So, why the sudden burst of publicity at this event?
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I waited to write this entry to see what Luke did with the exposure from the Boss event. Would he finally put Antonia on his Instagram grid? Would he put her in his Instagram stories? Would Antonia post pictures from the event on her Instagram grid or stories? Would Luke unambiguously acknowledge a relationship with Antonia?
Although Luke posted to his Instagram grid and stories about the event, he did not include Antonia ā€“ at least not directly. The closest he came to including Antonia was via an Instagram story ā€“ on which he did not tag her ā€“ of a black screen with a link to a Boss TikTok that included images of Luke and Antonia from the event. The TikTok did not tag Antonia either. Luke did not post Antoniaā€™s image to his grid or his stories.
And Antonia didnā€™t post about the event at all.
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I wasnā€™t sold on a PR narrative when I started writing this entry, but my eyebrows raised when I saw Lukeā€™s ā€œblack screenā€ Instagram story. This was either Luke attempting to circumvent the Lutonia narrative while throwing Antonia a bone, or it was Luke being an absolute douche of a human being. And, if itā€™s the latter, Mr. Newton needs to check himself into Assholes Anonymous.
I will concede that a couple of mutuals put up a few stories about the event (which disappeared after 24 hours) and Boss included (and tagged) Luke and Antonia in an Instagram and TikTok reel ā€“ without formally identifying Antonia as Lukeā€™s girlfriend. On a side note, Luke could have reposted either of these reels ā€“ which tagged Antonia ā€“ but he did not. Luke also did not like this Boss Instagram reel with Antonia in it (and he does not have a public TikTok account), but Luke did like a separate Boss post of him and David Beckham (without Antonia). The only news outlets that called Antonia Lukeā€™s ā€œgirlfriendā€ were rag-mags like the Daily Mail and Hello, both of which put an emphasis on Antonia. Digital Spy noted that Luke and Antonia ā€œhave yet to officially confirm their relationship.ā€ So outside of some tagged reels (that werenā€™t reposted or acknowledged by Luke) and rag-mag speculation, what did Antonia get from this?
Dad: Publicity.
A single word but one that resonates throughout an otherwise silent wood.
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But to be honest, Iā€™m not entirely convinced this was for publicity. Iā€™m not saying I believe Antonia is Lukeā€™s girlfriend either ā€“ thatā€™s a whole cauldron of contradictions on its own. Iā€™m simply intrigued that Antonia has her Instagram tags turned off and she has not yet allowed any Boss event tags to appear on her page. So, outside of some junky rag-mag callouts and a few TikToks, what benefit did Antonia receive? And, if Antonia didnā€™t truly benefit from this appearance (or, at least she doesnā€™t appear to be reaping the rewards from a girlfriend or PR standpoint), who did benefit?
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I mentioned at the beginning of this post that a series of events had happened one after the other over a relatively short two-week period: (1) Lukeā€™s mum mentioning ā€œLukeā€™s girlfriendā€¦from Cyprusā€ in a Facebook response; (2) leaked video and photos of Luke from a funeral; (3) those utterly ridiculous pap pictures of Nicola and Jake; (4) Nicola stating she and Luke were ā€œjust friendsā€ in an interview; and (5) the sudden summoning of Antonia after exactly six months of being MIA.
As I sat here writing out the events of the past two weeks ā€“ and considering the reappearance of Antonia ā€“ I couldnā€™t help but speculate as to whether each of these events was meant to have a specific purpose that didnā€™t get its desired result.
The comment by Lukeā€™s mother was so far out in left field, most Lukolas chucked it up to being suspicious and dismissed it as such. The funeral pictures and video released by one of Lukeā€™s family members was quickly scrubbed from social media; therefore, just as quickly ignored. The pap pictures of Nicola and Jake were openly mocked across social media as being staged. The ā€œjust friendsā€ comment ā€“ after almost a year of, particularly, Nicola dodging that phrase ā€“ didnā€™t seem to send many Lukolas overboard. Is it possible that the fandomā€™s mild reaction to all these events wasnā€™t anticipated? Which leads me to wonder if Luke and Nicola wanted a reaction and realized the only way they were going to get it was to play the only card they had left ā€“ Antonia. Ā 
When you look at the above referenced events individually and collectively, they appear to indicate a push to shut down the Lukola narrative. Why?
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They could have shut down the Lukolas before the World Tour even took off. They could have shut down the Lukolas during the World Tour. They could have shut down the Lukolas after Papsmear. Why wait almost a full year to draw the line in the sand? Especially after every devoted Lukola would argue that (mostly) Nicola has left a trail of Swiftie-like clues to insinuate Lukola is real, and that Luke has made a visible effort to remove Antonia from his narrative.
Whatever the reasoning may be, we must admit Antoniaā€™s reappearance had a purpose ā€“ and one that we need to respect. I have a hard time believing Luke would voluntarily step in the same pile of dog shit he stepped in back in June without a valid and significant reason for doing so.
And this is where I will draw the line.
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I will not speculate further about why Antonia suddenly rose from the ashes of Manderley ā€“ and I will not tell you which road to take from here. Thatā€™s something you need to do on your own but, be warned that regardless of which road you choose ā€“ the one where you conclude Luke and Antonia are a couple, or the one where you decide Antonia is playing the role of PR distraction ā€“ the Lukolas are currently fighting a losing battle.
The Lukolas have become collateral damage. Theyā€™ve either been caught in the crossfire of an online war between Luke and Nicola (and their respective sidekicks) over, presumably, Antonia; or theyā€™re the unwitting victims of some messy PR bullshit that has resulted in Lukolas being bullied across every social media platform by rabid Jakolas and Anti-Lukes.
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Amazingly, though, many Lukolas remain resilient.
When the going gets toughā€¦
But sometimes the tough donā€™t get going.
Yesterday, someone wrote to me, ā€œWhy are we still here? Just when we think something good is finally going to happen we get pushed back down. Iā€™m tired of the dumb games.ā€
I rarely answer ā€œAsks,ā€ but my response to this comment is:
ā€œTwo roads diverged in a woodā€¦ā€
Two roads.
One road is quite disheartening and the other is shrouded in underbrush.
But what you've overlooked is that there is an alternate path ā€“ a third road ā€“ the one that brought you to this point.
Turn around.
That road takes you back home ā€“ and, if youā€™re ready to go home, go home. Itā€™s okay. It takes an unbelievable amount of courage to admit youā€™ve had enough. Remember that saying ā€“ ā€œA wise woman once said, ā€˜fuck this shit,ā€™ and she lived happily ever after.ā€
Take your time and decide what makes the most sense to you.
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Dad: What are you thinking?
Me: Of a poem.
Dad: Oh, which one today?
Me: ā€œTwo roads diverged in a wood, and I ā€“ I took the one less traveled byā€¦ā€
Dad: Which road is thatā€¦?
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P.S. Just for a bit of comic relief at the end of an otherwise somber post (not even Dad could make it lighthearted), I just wanted to say:
I love eating grapes.
IYKYK.
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Those links I promised:
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boreal-sea Ā· 1 day ago
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okay sorry you donā€™t like the word Zionist Iā€™ll come up with a new word and itā€™s weirdassbitch btw and guess whatZzz ummm yeah you fit the bill. I donā€™t know man šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ the fact youā€™re only posting about gofundmes when itā€™s about Israeli hostages or only ever being like ā€œokay yeah whatā€™s happening to Palestinians is badā€ in conjunction with ā€œso about this anti semitism weā€™ve been havingā€¦ā€ means youā€™re obviously biased youā€™re just biased and heyā€¦ hey holds your hand itā€™s okay ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø We can work through thisā€¦ together *looks away shyly* also Iā€™m like Jewish like by blood. I didnā€™t even have to convert sorry Iā€™m laughing converts youā€™re valid but boreal I guess Iā€™m just likeā€¦. Better than you at being Jewish? Idk btw and hey maybe the reason why antisemitism is rising is because you guys are all like yeah so we deserve Israel because we lived there 1000000 years ago and if you hate Israel youā€™re anti Jewish soooo yeahā€¦. Yep maybe having being Jewish synonymous with a genocidal state isnā€™t smart idk just my thoughts. I think having Jews live all across the world is so beautiful it brings a tear to my eyeā€¦ I think shoving us all in one place is gay as hell to be frank. Whwtagevrr. I was born in USA born and raised and my family came from Ukraine. I have zero claim to a plot of land 6000 miles away just because I wanna have a sick ass vacation home. maybe thatā€™s why you converted Iā€™m just joshing around it would be funny though if you went through all that just to build a cute little Resort on stolen land. I donā€™t know boreal. I think Iā€™d just rather have my BLEGH :P, not a :ā€¢]
I have not posted a single gofundme for Israeli victims. Iā€™m not sure why youā€™d make up that lie? Please feel free to look back in my blog as far as youā€™d like, you wonā€™t find one. Itā€™s even in my blog description that I do not reblog gofundme posts.
I do post links to organizations that directly help Palestinians in Gaza. I have done so fairly often. I donā€™t recall ever posting a link to aid organizations that only benefit Israelis.
Do I often talk about antisemitism and Gaza at the same time? Yes. These two things are inextricably linked. What is happening in Gaza right now wouldnā€™t be happening without antisemitism.
Am I biased? No more than the average human being on Earth. I personally consider the folks screaming ā€œDeath to Israel!ā€ to be a lot more biased than myself, as I am simply calling for peace between Israel and Hamas. I wanted a peaceful solution from the beginning. You can even find posts on my blog right after Oct 7th where I compare Israel to the USA after 9/11 and state my fears that Israel will have a disproportionate reaction. I loathe the political posturing of both Netanyahu and Hamas and I hate that they both dragged this out so long. Netanyahu wanted this to look like Trumpā€™s victory, which disgusts me. And Hamas allowed their people to suffer for over a year! Theyā€™re disgusting, too. Every leader involved in this conflict failed their people.
Our personal feelings about whether or not native people like the Jews ā€œdeserveā€ to live in their homeland is irrelevant ļæ½ļæ½ Israel as a country exists here and now. Though it does bring up the interesting question: do you think if the USA just waits long enough, native Americans will also lose their landback rights? How long will that take?
Jews donā€™t really live ā€œall over the worldā€. Nearly half live in the USA, and the other half in Israel. This is because all the other countries were so violently antisemitic to the Jews living there the Jews had to flee. In fact, after Israel was founded, a lot of countries literally forced their Jews out under threat of death.
Jews still suffer from antisemitism all around the world, and did so even before Oct 7th. The increase in antisemitism since Oct 7th hasnā€™t exactly made diaspora Jews feel safe. ā€œA country youā€™re not even a citizen of did a bad thing, so now Iā€™m going to firebomb your elementary schoolā€ isnā€™t fertile ground for cooperation, is it?
I donā€™t agree with everything Israel has done. I donā€™t have to. I think it is a country in crisis that needs major reforms, much like the USA. But I donā€™t scream ā€œdeath to America!ā€ either. I live here. I want to make it a better place. I want them both to be better, to live up to the ideals they espouse. To be free, and safe, and prosperous.
I want Gazans to be able to go home. I want them free from the cruelty of Hamas, which has allowed its people to die and suffer since it took power in 2005 and refused to hold any more free elections. They are tyrants. I want Palestinians in the diaspora to come home, too. I want them to have a safe, prosperous country where their culture and children can flourish!
I want peace. If that makes me a ā€œweirdassbitchā€, then so be it. Iā€™ve been weird my whole life, anon!
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mostlysignssomeportents Ā· 1 day ago
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Petard, Part III
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2025/02/01/miskatonic-networks/#landlord-telco-industrial-complex
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Last week, Trump's FCC chair Brendan Carr reversed a rule that banned your landlord from taking kickbacks in exchange for forcing you to use whatever ISP was willing to pay the biggest bribe for the right to screw you over:
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2025/01/fcc-chair-nixes-plan-to-boost-broadband-competition-in-apartment-buildings/
Corporate fascists and their captured regulators are, of course, that most despicable of creatures: they are plagiarists. Like so many of our tech overlords, they have mistaken dystopian sf as a suggestion, rather than as a warning. I take this personally, because I actually wrote this as an sf story in 2013, and it was published in 2014 in MIT Tech Review's Twelve Tomorrows, edited by Bruce Sterling and published in 2014:
https://mitpress.mit.edu/9780262535595/twelve-tomorrows-2014/
I adapted it for my podcast, in four installments:
https://archive.org/details/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_278
https://archive.org/details/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_292
https://archive.org/details/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_293
https://archive.org/details/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_294_-_Petard_04
And, given the new currency of this old story, I thought it was only fitting that I serialize it here, on my blog, also in four parts.
Here's part one:
https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/30/landlord-telco-industrial-complex/#part-one
Here's part two:
https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/31/the-blood-speech/#part-two
And now, onto part three:
One of the early Ftp code contributors was now CTO for an ISP, and they'd gotten their start as a dorm co-op at Brown that had metastasized across New England. Sanjay had been pretty important to the early days of Ftp, helping us get the virtualization right so that it could run on pretty much any cloud without a lot of jiggery and/or pokery. Within a day of emailing Sanjay, I was having coffee with the vice-president of business development for Miskatonic Networks, who was also Sanjay's boyfriend's girlfriend, because apparently ISPs in New England are hotbeds of Lovecraft-fandom polyamory. Her name was Kadijah and she had a southie accent so thick it was like an amateur theater production of Good Will Hunting.
"The Termite Mound?" She laughed. "Shit yeah, I know that place. It's still standing? I went to some super sketchy parties there when I was a kid, I mean sooooper sketchy, like sketch-a-roony. I can't believe no one's torched the place yet."
"Not yet," I said. "And seeing as all my stuff's there right now, I'm hoping that no one does for the time being."
"Yeah, I can see that." I could not get over her accent. It was the most Bostonian thing I'd encountered since I got off the train. "OK, so you want to know what we'd charge to provide service to someone at the Termite Mound?"
"Uh, no. I want to know what you'd charge per person if we could get you the whole Mound ā€” every unit in the residence. All 250 of them."
"Oh." She paused a second. "This is an Ftp thing, right?"
"Yeah," I said. "That's how I know Sanjay. I, uh, I started Ftp." I don't like to brag, but sometimes it makes sense in the context of the conversation, right?
"That was you? Wicked! So you're seriously gonna get the whole dorm to sign up with us?"
"I will if you can get me a price that I can sell to them," I said.
"Oh," she said. Then "Oh! Right. Hmm. Leave it with me. You say you can get them all signed up?"
"I think so. If the price is right. And I think that if the Termite Mound goes with you that there'll be other dorms that'll follow. Maybe a lab or two," I said. I was talking out of my ass at this point, but seriously, net-censorship in the labs at MIT? It was disgusting. It could not stand.
"Damn," she said. "Sounds like you're majoring in Ftp. Don't you have classes or something?"
"No," I said. "This is basically exactly what I figured college would be like. A cross between summer camp and an Stanford obedience experiment. If all I wanted to do was cram a bunch of knowledge into my head, I could have stayed home and mooced it. I came here because I wanted to level up and fight something tough and even dangerous. I want to spend four years getting into the right kind of trouble. Going to classes too, but seriously, classes? Whatever. Everyone knows the good conversations happen in the hallway between the formal presentations. Classes are just an excuse to have hallways."
She looked skeptical and ate banana bread.
"It's your deal," she said.
I could hear the but hanging in the air between us. She went and got more coffees and brought them back along with toasted banana bread dripping with butter for me. She wouldn't let me pay, and told me it was on Miskatonic. We were a potential big account. She didn't want to say "But" because she might offend me. I wanted to hear the "but."
"But?"
"But what?"
"It's my deal butā€¦?"
"But, well, you know, you don't look after your grades, MIT'll put you out on your ass. That's how it works in college. I've seen it."
I chewed my banana bread.
"Hey," she said. "Hey. Are you OK, Lukasz?"
"I'm fine," I said.
She smiled at me. She was pretty. "But?"
I told her about my talk with AA, and about Juanca, and about how I felt like nobody was giving me my propers, and she looked very sympathetic, in a way that made me feel much younger. Like toddler younger.
"MIT is all about pranks, right? I think if I could come up with something really epic, they'd ā€“" And as I said it, I realized how dumb it was. They laughed at me in Vienna, I'll show them! "You know what? Forget about it. I got more important things to do than screw around with those knob-ends. Work to do, right? Get the network opened up around here, you and me, Kadijah!"
"Don't let it get to you, you'll give yourself an aneurism. I'll get back to you soon, OK?"
#
I fished a bead out of my pocket and wedged it into my ear.
"Who is this?"
"Lukasz?" The voice was choked with tears.
"Who is this?" I said again.
"It's Bryan." I couldn't place the voice or the name.
"Bryan who?"
"From the Termite Mound's customer service desk." Then I recognized the voice. It was the elf, and he was having hysterics. Part of me wanted to say, Oh, diddums! and hang up. Because elves, AMR? But I'm not good at tough love.
"What's wrong?"
"They've fired me," he said. "I got called into my boss's office an hour ago and he told me to start drawing up a list of people to kick out of the dorm ā€” he wanted the names of people who supported you. I was supposed to go through the EULAs for the dorm and find some violations for all of them ā€“"
"What if they didn't have any violations?"
He made a sound between a sob and a laugh. "Are you kidding? You're always in violation! Have you read the EULA for the Mound? It's like sixty pages long."
"OK, gotcha. So you refused and you got fired?"
There was a pause. It drew out. "No," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "I gave them a bunch of names, and then they fired me."
Again, I was torn between the impulse to hang up on him and to hear more. Nosiness won (nosiness always wins; bets on nosiness are a sure thing). "Nicely done. Sounds like just deserts to me. What do you expect me to do about it?" But I knew. There were only two reasons to call me after something like this: to confess his sins or to get revenge. And no one would ever mistake me for a priest.
"I've got the names they pulled. Not just this time. Every time there's been any kind of trouble in the Termite Mound, MIT Residence has turfed out the troublemakers on some bogus EULA violation. They know that no one cares about student complaints, and there's always a waiting list for rooms at the Termite Mound, it's so central and all. I kept records."
"What kind of records?"
"Hardcopies of emails. They used disappearing ink for all the dirty stuff, but I just took pictures of my screen with my drop and saved it to personal storage. It's ugly. They went after pregnant girls, kids with disabilities. Any time there was a chance they'd have to do an air quality audit or fix a ramp, I'd have to find some reason to violate the tenant out of residence." He paused a moment. "They used some pretty bad language when they talked about these people, too."
The Termite Mound should've been called the Roach Motel: turn on the lights and you'd find a million scurrying bottom-feeders running for the baseboards.
I was going to turn on the lights.
"You've got all that, huh?
"Tons of it," he said. "Going back three years. I knew that if it ever got out that they'd try and blame it on me. I wanted records."
"OK," I said. "Meet me in Harvard Square, by the T entrance. How soon can you get there?"
"I'm at the Coop right now," he said. "Using a study-booth."
"Perfect," I said. "Five minutes then?"
"I'm on my way."
The Coop's study booths had big signs warning you that everything you did there was recorded ā€” sound, video, infrared, data ā€” and filtered for illicit behavior. The signs explained that there was no human being looking at the records unless you did something to trip the algorithm, like that made it better. If a tree falls in the forest, it sure as shit makes a sound; and if your conversation is bugged, it's bugged ā€” whether or not a human being listens in right then or at some time in the infinite future of that data.
I beat him to the T entrance, and looked around for a place to talk. It wasn't good. From where I stood, I could see dozens of cameras, the little button-sized dots discretely placed all around the square, each with a little scannable code you could use to find out who got the footage and what it's policy was. No one ever, ever, ever bothered to do this. Ever. EULAs were not written for human consumption: a EULA's message could always be boiled down to seven words: "ABANDON HOPE, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE." Or, more succinctly: "YOU LOSE."
I felt bad about Bryan's job. It was his own deal, of course. He'd stayed even after he knew how evil they were. And I hadn't held a gun to his head and made him put himself in the firing line. But of course, I had convinced him to. I had led him to. I felt bad.
Bryan turned up just as I was scouting a spot at an outdoor table by an ice-cream parlor. They had a bunch of big blowing heaters that'd do pretty good white-noise masking, a good light/dark contrast between the high-noon sun and the shade of the awning that would screw up cameras' white-balance, and the heaters would wreak havoc on the infra-red range of the CCTVs, or so I hoped. I grabbed Bryan, clamping down on his skinny arm through the rough weave of his forest-green cloak and dragged him into my chosen spot.
"You got it?" I said, once we were both seated and nursing hot chocolates. I got caffeinated marshmallows; he got Thai ghost pepper-flavored ā€” though that was mostly marketing, no way those marshmallows were over a couple thousand Scovilles.
"I encrypted it with your public key," he said, handing me a folded up paper. I unfolded it and saw that it had been printed with a stegoed QR code, hidden in a Victorian woodcut. That kind of spycraft was pretty weaksauce ā€” the two-dee-barcode-in-a-public-domain-image thing was a staple of shitty student clickbait thrillers ā€” but if he'd really managed to get my public key and verify it and then encrypt the blob with it, I was impressed. That was about ten million times more secure than the average fumbledick ever managed. The fact that he'd handed me a hardcopy of the URL instead of emailing it to me, well, that was pretty sweet frosting. Bryan had potential.
I folded the paper away. "What should I be looking for?"
"It's all organized and tagged. You'll see." He looked nervous. "What are you going to do with it?"
"Well, for starters, I'm going to call them up and tell them I have it."
"What?" He looked like he was going to cry.
"Come on," I said. "I'm not going to tell them where I got it. The way you tell it, I'm about to get evicted, right?"
"Technically, you are evicted. There's a process-server waiting at every entrance to the Termite Mound doing face-recognition on the whole list. Soon as you go home, bam. 48 hours to clear out."
"Right," I said. "I don't want to have to go look for a place to live while I'm also destroying these shitbirds and fixing everyone's Internet connection. Get serious. So I'm going to go and talk to Messrs Amoral, Nonmoral and Immoral and explain that I have a giant dump of compromising messages from them that I'm going public with, and it'll look really, really bad for them if they turf me out now."
It's time for a true confession. I am not nearly as brave as I front. All this spycraft stuff, all the bluster about beating these guys on their home turf, yeah, in part I'm into it ā€” I like it better than riding through life like a foil chip-bag being swept down a polluted stream on a current of raw sewage during a climate-change-driven superstorm.
But the reality is that I can't really help myself. There's some kind of rot-fungus that infects the world. Things that are good when they're small and personal grow, and as they grow, their attack-surface grows with them, and they get more and more colonized by the fungus, making up stupid policies, doing awful stuff to the people who rely on them and the people who work for them, one particle of fungus at a time, each one just a tiny and totally defensible atomic-sized spoor of rot that piles up and gloms onto all the other bits of rot until you're a walking, suppurating lesion.
No one ever set out to create the kind of organization that needs to post a "MIT RESIDENCY LLC OPERATES A ZERO-TOLERANCE POLICY TOWARD EMPLOYEE ABUSE. YOU CAN BE FINED UP TO $2000 AND/OR IMPRISONED FOR SIX MONTHS FOR ASSAULTING A CAMPUS RESIDENCE WORKER" sign. You start out trying to do something good, then your realize you can get a little richer by making it a little worse. Your thermostat for shittiness gets reset to the new level, so it doesn't seem like much of a change to turn it a notch further towards the rock-bottom, irredeemably shitty end of the scale.
The truth is that you can get really rich and huge by playing host organism to the rot-fungus. The rot-fungus diffuses its harms and concentrates its rewards. That means that healthy organisms that haven't succumbed to the rot-fungus are liable to being devoured by giant, well-funded vectors for it ā€” think of the great local business that gets devoured by an awful hedge-fund in a leveraged takeover, looted and left as a revolting husk to shamble on until it collapses under its own weight.
I am terrified of the rot-fungus, because it seems like I'm the only person who notices it most of the time. Think of all those places where the town council falls all over itself to lure some giant corporation to open a local factory. Don't they notice that everyone who works at places like that hates every single moment of every single day? Haven't they ever tried to converse with the customer-service bots run by one of those lumbering dinos?
I mean, sure, the bigs have giant budgets and they'll take politicians out for nice lunches and throw a lot of money at their campaigns, but don't these guardians of the public trust ever try to get their cars fixed under warranty? Don't they ever buy a train ticket? Don't they ever eat at a fast food joint? Can't they smell the rot-fungus? Am I the only one? I've figured out how to fight it in my own way. Everyone else who's fighting seems to be fighting against something else ā€” injustice or inequality or whatever, without understanding that the fungus's rot is what causes all of those things.
I'm convinced that no normal human being ever woke up one morning and said, "Dammit, my life doesn't have enough petty bureaucratic rules, zero-tolerance policies, censorship and fear in it. How do I fix that?" Instead, they let this stuff pile up, one compromise at a time, building up huge sores suppurating with spore-loaded fluids that eventually burst free and beslime everything around them. It gets normal to them, one dribble at a time.
"Lukasz, you're don't know what you're doing. These guys, they're ā€“"
"What?" I said. "Are they the mafia or something? Are they going to have me dropped off a bridge with cement overshoes?"
He shook his head, making the twigs and beads woven into the downy fluff of his hair clatter together. "No, but they're ruthless. I mean, totally ruthless. They're not normal."
The way he said it twinged something in my hindbrain, some little squiggle of fear, but I pushed it away. "Yeah, that's OK. I'm used to abnormal." I am the most abnormal person I know.
"Be careful, seriously," he said.
"Thanks, Bryan," I said. "Don't worry about me. You want me to try and get your room back, too?"
He chewed his lip. "Don't," he said. "They'll know it was me if you do that."
I resisted the urge to shout at him to grow a spine. These assholes had cost him his home and his job (OK, I'd helped) and he was going to couch-surf it until he could find the rarest of treasures: an affordable place to live in Cambridge, Mass? Even if he was being tortured by his conscience for all his deplorable selloutism, he was still being a total wuss. But that was his deal. I mean, he was an elf, for chrissakes. Who knew what he was thinking?
"Suit yourself," I said, and went and made some preparations.
#
Messers Amoral, Nonmoral and Immoral had an office over the river in Boston, in a shabby office-block that only had ten floors, but whose company directory listed over 800 businesses. I knew the kind of place, because they showed up whenever some hairy scam unravelled and they showed you the office-of-convenience used by the con-artists who'd destroyed something that lots of people cared about and loved in order to make a small number of bad people a little richer. A kind of breeding pit for rot-fungus, in other words.
At first I thought I was going to have to go and sleuth their real locations, but I saw that Amoral, Nonmoral and Immoral had the entire third floor registered to them, while everyone else had crazy-ass, heavily qualified suite numbers like 401c(1)K, indicating some kind of internal routing code for the use of the army of rot-fungus-infected spores who ensured that correspondence was handled in a way that preserved the illusion that each of the multifarious, blandly named shell companies (I swear to Cthulhu that there was one called "International Holdings (Holdings), Ltd") was a real going concern and not a transparent ruse intended to allow the rot-fungus to spread with maximal diffusion of culpability for the carriers who did its bidding.
I punched # # #300# # # on the ancient touchscreen intercom, its surface begrimed with a glossy coat of hardened DNA, Burger King residue and sifted-down dust of the ages. It blatted like an angry sheep, once, twice, three times, then disconnected. I punched again. Again. On the fourth try, an exasperated, wheezing voice emerged: "What?"
"I'm here to speak to someone from MIT Residences LLC."
"Send an email."
"I'm a tenant. My name is Lukasz Romero." I let that sink in. "I've got some documents I'd like to discuss with a responsible individual at MIT Residences LLC." I put a bit of heavy English on documents. "Please." I put even more English on "Please." I've seen the same tough-guy videos that you have, and I can do al-pacinoid overwound Dangerous Dude as well as anyone. "Please," I said again, meaning "Right. Now."
There was an elongated and ominous pause, punctuated by muffled rustling and grumbling, and what may have been typing on an old-fashioned, mechanical keyboard. "Come up," a different voice said. The elevator to my left ground as the car began to lower itself.
#
I'd expected something sinister ā€” a peeling dungeon of a room where old men with armpit-stains gnawed haunches of meat and barked obscenities at each other. Instead, I found myself in an airy, high-ceilinged place that was straight out of the publicity shots for MIT's best labs, the ones that had been set-dressed by experts who'd ensured that no actual students had come in to mess things up before the photographer could get a beautifully lit shot of the platonic perfection.
The room took up the whole floor, dotted with conversation pits with worn, comfortable sofas whose end-tables sported inconspicuous charge-plates for power-hungry gadgets. The rest of the space was made up of new-looking worksurfaces and sanded-down antique wooden desks that emitted the honeyed glow of a thousand coats of wax buffed by decades of continuous use. The light came from tall windows and full-spectrum spotlights that were reflected and diffused off the ceiling, which was bare concrete and mazed with cable-trays and conduit. I smelled good coffee and toasting bread and saw a perfectly kept little kitchenette to my left.
There were perhaps a dozen people working in the room, standing at the worksurfaces, mousing away at the antique desks, or chatting intensely in the conversation pits. It was a kind of perfect tableau of industrious tech-company life, something out of a recruiting video. The people were young and either beautiful, handsome or both. I had the intense, unexpected desire to work here, or a place like this. It had good vibes.
One of the young, handsome people stood up from his conversation nook and smoothed out the herringbone wool hoodie he was wearing, an artfully cut thing that managed to make him look like both a young professor and an undergraduate at the same time. It helped that he was so fresh-faced, with apple cheeks and a shock of curly brown hair.
"Lukasz, right?" He held out a hand. He was wearing a dumbwatch, a wind-up thing in a steel casing that was fogged with a century of scratches. I coveted it instantly, though I knew nothing about its particulars, I was nevertheless certain that it was expensive, beautifully engineered, and extremely rare.
The door closed behind me and the magnet audibly reengaged. The rest of the people in the room studiously ignored us.
"I'm Sergey. Can I get you a cup of coffee? Tea? Some water?"
The coffee smelled good. "No thank you," I said. "I don't think I'll be here for long."
"Of course. Come and sit."
The other participants in his meeting had already vacated the sofas and left us with a conversation pit all to ourselves. I sank into the sofa and smelled the spicy cologne of a thousand eager, well-washed people who'd sat on it before me, impregnating the upholstery with the spoor of their good perfumes.
He picked up a small red enamel teapot and poured a delicious-smelling stream of yellow-green steaming liquid into a chunky diner-style coffee-cup. He sipped it. My stomach growled. "You told the receptionist you wanted to talk about some documents?"
"Yeah," I said, pulling myself together. "I've got documentary evidence of this company illegally evicting tenants ā€” students ā€” who got pregnant, complained about substandard living conditions and maintenance issues, and, in my case, complained about the network filters at the Termite Mound."
He cocked his head for a moment like he was listening for something in the hum and murmur of the office around him. I found myself listening, too, but try as I might, I couldn't pick out a single individual voice from the buzz, not even a lone intelligble word. It was as though they were all going "murmurmurmurmur," though I could see their lips moving and shaping what must have been words.
"Ah," he said at last. "Well, that's very unfortunate. Can you give me a set and I'll escalate them up our chain to ensure that they're properly dealt with?"
"I can give you a set," I said. "But I'll also be giving a set to the MIT ombudsman and the The Tech and the local Wikileaks Party rep. Sergey, forgive me, but you don't seem to be taking this very seriously. The material in my possession is the sort of thing that could get you and your colleagues here sued into a smoking crater."
"Oh, I appreciate that there's a lot of potential liability in the situation you describe, but it wouldn't be rational for me to freak out now, would it? I haven't seen your documents, and if I had, I can neither authenticate them nor evaluate the risk they represent. So I'll take a set from you and ensure that the people within our organization who have the expertise to manage this sort of thing get to them quickly."
It's funny. I'd anticipated that he'd answer like a chatbot, vomiting up Markov-chained nothings from the lexicon of the rot-fungus: "we take this very seriously," "we cannot comment on ongoing investigations," "we are actioning this with a thorough inquiry and post-mortem" and other similar crapola. Instead, he was talking like a hacker on a mailing list defending the severity he'd assigned to a bug he owned.
"Sergey, that's not much of an answer."
He sipped that delicious tea some more. "Is there something in particular you wanted to hear from me? I mean, this isn't the sort of thing that you find out about then everything stops until you've figured out what to do next."
I was off-balance. "I wanted ā€“" I waved my hands. "I wanted an explanation. How the hell did this systematic abuse come about?"
He shrugged. He really didn't seem very worried "Hard to say, really. Maybe it was something out of the labs."
"What do you mean, 'the labs'?"
He gestured vaguely at one cluster of particularly engrossed young men and women who were bent over screens and worksurfaces, arranged in pairs or threesomes, collaborating with fierce intensity, reaching over to touch each others' screens and keyboards in a way I found instantly and deeply unsettling. "We've got a little R&D lab that works on some of our holdings. We're really dedicated to disrupting the rental market. There's so much money in it, you know, but mostly it's run by these entitled jerks who think that they're geniuses for having the brilliant idea of buying a building and then sitting around and charging rent on it. A real old boys' club." For the first time since we started talking, he really seemed to be alive and present and paying attention.
"Oh, they did some bits and pieces that gave them the superficial appearance of having a brain, but there's a lot of difference between A/B splitting your acquisition strategy and really deep-diving into the stuff that matters."
At this stage, I experienced a weird dissonance. I mean, I was there because these people were doing something genuinely villainous, real rot-fungus stuff. On the other hand, well, this sounded cool. I can't lie. I found it interesting. I mean, catnip-interesting.
"I mean, chewy questions. Like, if the median fine for a second citation for substandard plumbing is $400, and month-on-month cost for plumbing maintenance in a given building is $2,000 a month, and the long-term costs of failure to maintain are $20,000 for full re-plumbing on a 8-10 year basis with a 75 percent probability of having to do the big job in year nine, what are the tenancy parameters that maximize your return over that period?"
"Tenancy parameters?"
He looked at me. I was being stupid. I don't like that look. I suck at it. It's an ego thing. I just find it super-hard to deal with other people thinking that I'm dumb. I would probably get more done in this world if I didn't mind it so much. But I do. It's an imperfect world, and I am imperfect.
"Tenancy parameters. What are the parameters of a given tenant that predict whether he or she will call the city inspectors given some variable setpoint of substandard plumbing, set on a scale that has been validated through a rigorous regression through the data that establishes quantifiable inflection points relating to differential and discrete maintenance issues, including leaks, plugs, pressure, hot water temperature and volume, and so on. It's basically just a solve-for-x question, but it's one with a lot of details in the model that are arrived at through processes with a lot of room for error, so the model needs a lot of refinement and continuous iteration.
"And of course, it's all highly sensitive to external conditions ā€” there's a whole game-theoretical set of questions about what other large-scale renters do in response to our own actions, and there's a information-theory dimension to this that's, well, it's amazing. Like, which elements of our strategy are telegraphed when we take certain actions as opposed to others, and how can those be steganographed through other apparent strategies.
"Now, most of these questions we can answer through pretty straightforward business processes, stuff that Amazon figured out twenty years ago. But there's a real risk of getting stuck in local maxima, just you know, overoptimizing inside of one particular paradigm with some easy returns. That's just reinventing the problem, though, making us into tomorrow's dinosaurs.
"If we're going to operate a culture of continuous improvement, we need to be internally disrupted to at least the same extent that we're disrupting those fat, stupid incumbents. That's why we have the labs. They're our chaos monkeys. They do all kinds of stuff that keeps our own models sharp. For example, they might incorporate a separate business and use our proprietary IP to try to compete with us ā€” without telling us about it. Or give a set of autonomous agents privileges to communicate eviction notices in a way that causes a certain number of lawsuits to be filed, just to validate our assumptions about the pain-point at which an action or inaction on our side will trigger a suit from a tenant, especially for certain profiles of tenants.
"So there's not really any way that I can explain specifically what happened to the people mentioned in your correspondence. It's possible no one will ever be able to say with total certainty. I don't really know why anyone would expect it to be otherwise. We're not a deterministic state-machine, after all. If all we did was respond in set routines to set inputs, it'd be trivial to innovate around us and put us out of business. Our objective is to be strategically nonlinear and anti-deterministic within a range of continuously validated actions that map and remap a chaotic terrain of profitable activities in relation to property and rental. We're not rentiers, you understand. We don't own assets for a living. We do things with them. We're doing commercial science that advances the state of the art. We're discovering deep truths lurking in potentia in the shape of markets and harnessing them ā€” putting them to work."
His eyes glittered. "Lukasz, you come in here with your handful of memos and you ask me to explain how they came about, as though this whole enterprise was a state-machine that we control. We do not control the enterprise. An enterprise is an artificial life-form built up from people and systems in order to minimize transaction costs so that it can be nimble and responsive, so that it can move into niches, dominate them, fully explore them. The human species has spent millennia recombining its institutions to uncover the deep, profound mathematics of power and efficiency.
"It's a terrain with a lot of cul-de-sacs and blind alleys. There are local maxima: maybe a three-move lookahead shows a good outcome from evicting someone who's pregnant and behind on the rent, but the six-move picture is different, because someone like you comes along and makes us look like total assholes. That's fine. All that means is that we have to prune that branch of the tree, try a new direction. Hell, ideally, you'd be in there so early, and give us such a thoroughgoing kicking, that we'd be able to discover and abort the misfire before the payload had fully deployed. You'd be saving us opportunity cost. You'd be part of our chaos-monkey.
"Lukasz, you come in here with your whistleblower memos. But I'm not participating in a short-term exercise. Our mission here is to quantize, systematize, harness and perfect interactions.
"You come in here and you want me to explain, right now, what we're going to do about your piece of information. Here's your answer, Lukasz: we will integrate it. We will create models that incorporate disprovable hypotheses about it, we will test those models, and we will refine them. We will make your documents part of our inventory of clues about the underlying nature of deep reality. Does that answer satisfy you, Lukasz?"
I stood up. Through the whole monologue, Sergey's eyes had not moved from mine, nor had his body-language shifted, nor had he demonstrated one glimmer of excitement or passion. Instead, he'd been matter-of-fact, like he'd been explaining the best way to make an omelet or the optimal public transit route to a distant suburb. I was used to people geeking out about the stuff they did. I'd never experienced this before, though: it was the opposite of geeking out, or maybe a geeking out that went so deep that it went through passion and came out the other side.
It scared me. I'd encountered many different versions of hidebound authoritarianism, fought the rot-fungus in many guises, but this was not like anything I'd ever seen. It had a purity that was almostā€¦ seductive.
But beautiful was not the opposite of terrible. The two could easily co-exist.
"I hear that I'm going to get evicted when I get back to the Termite Mound ā€” you've got a process-server waiting for me. That's what I hear."
Sergey shrugged. "And?"
"And? And what use is your deep truth to me if I'm out on the street?"
"What's your point?"
He was as mild and calm as a recorded airport safety announcement. There was something inhuman ā€” transhuman? ā€” in that dispassionate mein.
"Don't kick me out of my place."
"Ah. Excuse me a second."
He finished his tea, set the cup down and headed over to the lab. He chatted with them, touched their screens. The murmur drowned out any words. I didn't try to disguise the fact that I was watching them. There was a long period during which they said nothing, did not touch anything, just stared at the screens with their heads so close together they were almost touching. It was a kind of pantomime of psychic communications.
He came back. "Done," he said. "Is there anything else? We're pretty busy around here."
"Thank you," I said. "No, that's about it."
"All right then," he said. "Are you going to leave me your documents?"
"Yes," I said, and passed him a stack of hardcopies. He looked at the paper for a moment, folded the stack carefully at the middle and put it in one of the wide side-pockets of his beautifully tailored cardigan.
I found my way back down to the ground floor and was amazed to see that the sun was still up. It had felt like hours had passed while Sergey had talked to me, and I could have sworn that the light had faded in those tall windows. But, checking my drop, I saw that it was only three o'clock. I had to be getting home.
There was a process-server waiting ostentatiously in the walkway when I got home, but he looked at me and then down at his screen and then let me pass.
It was only once I was in my room that I realized I hadn't done anything about Bryan's eviction.
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ww2yaoi Ā· 8 hours ago
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as of today, february 2nd, ww2yaoi turns one year old! I initially made this blog to promote my mota fic (which I thought absolutely no one would read) so the first thing I ever posted here was a link to my second clegan fic I wrote. that post got 3 notes (maybe even less at the time) but that fic is now my most popular ever at over 1k+ kudos on ao3!!! just goes to show you never know what's gonna happen...
this year has been a rollercoaster in terms of my interests. going from mota/clegan mania in the first part of the year to my insane web(gott) breakthrough around april when I read parachute infantry for the first time. then these last few months I've been so pacific pilled it's not even funny (sidsledge nation there are dozens of us!! dozens!!!). from the spring to the end of the summer I wrote about 90k of unreleased webgott fic then eventually started posting some other stuff on ao3 again (thank you for your support as always <3333) and although I've been on a bit of a fic posting hiatus lately, there are things in the works... trust
to celebrate my blog's bday, I thought I'd highlight some of my fave things I've made for this blog over the past year. because I have made A LOT of bullshit. this blog has been a passion project of mine and a great creative outlet. even if it's lowkey kind of stupid it takes a lot of effort and love to be this stupid :P here we go...
my fave edits Iā€™ve made: joespresso, this artifact of ron livingston summer, uptown webgott, supercut webgott, winnix lovesickness, sidsledge pop girlie extravaganza, all-american b(ucky)itch
my fave fics I've written (not exactly blog content but my fic is the whole reason this blog exists): buck and bucky paint the town red, welcome to the stalag bozo, joe liebgott in peach lingerie, smooch stained webster, everything is better in the spring :)
my fave posts Iā€™ve made: my web weaves, my webgott wednesday meme dumps, my beautiful wife home safely :), who's the other guy?, that one coworker that's just gotta go, his german's as good as mine, webgott as the five love languages, i suck dick loud as hell and also the entire invention of webgott wednesday
anyways, if you've ever interacted with any of my posts, sent me an ask, reblogged an edit, commented on a fic, left funny tags on a meme, messaged me about these shows, etc. THANK YOU!!! you make blogging on here fun and you will have a piece of my heart forever :) I am so grateful to the friends I've made on here (you know who you are I'm sure) and really there's nothing I like more than analyzing our fave ww2 vets like bugs in the dms
here's to another year of nonsense!!!!! <3
- meg aka ww2yaoi :^)
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jonathankai Ā· 9 hours ago
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Each time I check my activity and see a bunch of likes and hardly any reblogs, I feel so baffled. What prevents you people from reglogging stuff? It's not like your tumblr blog is your portfolio which you're going to show to your potential employer, and if he will see a post he doesn't approve, he's not going to hire you. And I hope that none of you has someone breathing down your neck, peeking behind your shoulder at what's happening on your screen.
Your blog is your maximum fun personal space, so if you enjoy the post you see, why not reblog it? It doesn't have to happen each and every time. but just consider doing it more often? Please? Pretty pleasse with a cherry on top?
"Oh, but I have 0 followers, so reblog is pointless". No! It's never pointless! On tumblr reblogging is a gesture of generosity and appreciation. Whether it's a textpost, art, shitpost, whatever, your reblog will always mean a lot to creator.
"Oh, but I want to keep my blog for X and not for Y". Create a sideblog. Create a secret sideblog and never share a link anywhere if you need.
"Oh, but reblogging is bad". Honey, it's not REPOSTING, it's REBLOGGING. You don't steal content, you use reblog button, original creator is linked properly, all is good.
"Oh, but I use likes to mark posts that I've already seen" (I'm not making this up, btw, I've actually seen someone saying it) Oookay? Why though? Listen, you can like as much as you want, but still, please, consider reblogging more often.
"Oh, but I'm showing my support by liking every post in my fandom" (actually seen this one too) Ooookay-2? It's a good intention, but you will be a mightier supporter and a cooler cat if you reblog stuff, just so you know. You don't have to regblog every post, but consider. doing it. more. often.
"Oh, but--" But what? Did I miss something? Seriously, come share your resaon, start a quarrel in the comments, feel bold and reblog this post, do whatever.
When it's only likes, this site feels so silent, it feels like talking to a wall.
I'm tagging this post with my current fandoms, because the situation is disastrous here, I'm sick and tired of seeing great art getting less love and attention than it deserves. But also with my old fandoms and maybe other tags, because from what I've seen, tumblr is going through some shitty stage all over.
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aggravatedanarchy Ā· 7 months ago
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Hello Kind Soul šŸ’•
I am trying to evacuate my family from Gaza to safe area to save our lives ASAP šŸ™
I Ask if you could support us by share my blog and boost my campaign?
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Stand-With-AlBalawi-Family
If you are generous enough, you can donate any small contribution, it really helps ā¤
Of course!
Anyone who can donate, please consider doing so! It looks like they're currently at just under halfway to their goal.
If you're unable to donate, please consider reblogging this so that it might reach someone who can! (And hey, maybe consider reblogging it even if you did!)
Wishing you the best; I don't generally pray, but I will keep you in mine moving forward.
Here's a photo of my cat to hopefully get this more traction (and so I can put this in more tags)
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sysig Ā· 7 days ago
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Damned Masterpost
Original run
ZEX wasnā€™t there for that, Dex!
Getting started
Kissing Strangers šŸ’‹
Captain Dating Sim
If I become lost...
It started with a whisper
Perfect comedy routine
Flowers for you!
ZEX loves wild horse!
Dexterā€™s first visit
Pivotal bright spot
Sunshine Captain ā˜€ļø
But ZEX loves humans!
Uniform ā™„
Hard learning curve
Big Guy Teisel
VUXisms
ZEXā€™s hair <3
Haunted by Kayako
Zelnick has two hands
Zelnickā€™s gone :(
ZEXā€™s MU (blood)
Them (blood)
Leaving weird impressions
Last man standing
Wake up somewhere better (blood)
Despite everything, heā€™s still ZEX
New Daay
DAX profile
DAX Expressions
VUX duo Expressions
Loverā€™s tiff Expressions
Action heroes Expressions (blood)
Roughed up VUX Expressions (blood)
Too busy flirting
The Little VUXmaid ---
What if DAX was there
DAXā€™s Special Counseling
Homesick
After ZEXā€™s MU
Hope we die (blood)
Maxā€™s visit
Karaoke Night
The girlies are fightinnggg
Different sensibilities
ZEXā€™s hair, again
Protect him, please
VUXĆ©mon
The three of them
Wander I mean Dr. Doran
More Dr. Doran
ā€œWake upā€ configurations
More VUXĆ©mon ft. Larry and Kabu
Dismissed ---
First re-meeting ā™„
Chill, Sub-Commander
Each otherā€™s VUX
Pyramid Head fight (blood)
Dr. Vargas
VUX silliness
Therapy went great
Nightly squabbles
You must snuggle
Obeying commands
Locked In
Damned, but make it Osmosis Jones
Wants to fight so bad
Some familiar faces
Drix Uniform
Main threeā€™s profiles
Other
Stanley profile speculations
Max wants out
Crystal Gem VUX
All those missing eyes
2024 Sketchdump
#Damned#And this is still Just Damned - not including Helix where it doesn't intersect or the larger SCII tag#Whoah#There is something a bit familiar about this kind of structure!#I mentioned back in the ask about Just Desserts not(yet) having a masterpost that I wasn't entirely sure how to make one but hm!#I've made the taglists over on Drabbles and VLH and this is Somewhat similar - and I have another post that's more like this elsewhere#So not entirely foreign to me! Not something I've done over here tho#I figured with the tag being rude and not showing like - a dozen posts??? That's absurd >:0 And I know it's not tag differences!#I clicked on the specific tag the not-showing posts were tagged with and they just Do Not Appear!#Literally have never had that happen on-blog that's only ever been a search/dash thing ugh pls stop with the tungl code pfbtl |P#So! Masterpost! Always be able to find the guys you're looking for!#But also human error lol if there's any that stick out as being missing or accidentally double-linked just shout it out#Did a lot of reorganizing for the original run as some of my doodles were made/posted out of order of the actual events#Very event-obscuring >:3c Some of those didn't even happen! They were just for funsies! Haha#I did leave out Max demanding his body back from ZEX - to the Other list - as that was All speculative and not shown anywhere#The rest are all at least in reference to things that officially happened - pretty sure#Also got a bit silly with some of the captions hehe ā™Ŗ Not all of them but a few :) Fun!#''Daay'' is spelled like that intentionally hehe >:3c#And has three sections because! a) Digital b) Speculations c) Actual happenings so far#With some not-happenings silliness mixed in there so you're never quite sure what is and isn't real! Haha#And then the last two with the least amount - or most if you count the sketchdump by volume rather than number of sets lol#What else might fall into this category! It remains to be seen :) The ideas haven't stopped yet#And of course it's too much fun to want to stop ā™„
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theunconcernedembalmer Ā· 2 months ago
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Blog directory
I finally decide to organize everything here
My Count Blog (Joseph + Claude) // My Embrace Blog (Victor)
Art tag: unconcerned art / unconcerned collab
Comics tag: unconcerned comic
Mun tag: its me the mun / unconcerned ramblings
RPs: unconcerned reply
Events
1. Exorcist event (100 followers)
2. Joseph and Mun event
3. 250 request fest (250 followers)
4. chibi muffin event
5. aesop draws
6. Exorcist 2.0 (400 followers)
7. 550 skin event (550 followers)
8. Fenix/Birdsop (700 followers)
9. mun got a new pen
10. cookie event
11. Gatto event (~800 followers)
Comic series
1. Exorcist event (intro / extra)
2. Modern Ghost AU
3. Exorcist 2.0 (intro)
4. Modern Ghost AU 2 electric boogaloo (in progress)
Miscellaneous tags I happen to have: mersop, simp au, gen/shin flavoured, modern au stuff, the drama tm
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crossbackpoke-check Ā· 6 months ago
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nosy anon again making a return because i think what my brain did was read that i helped find some kind of writing and then did not fully process what the writing was?? but upon rereading i am very intrigued if you ever get the urge to share i will be all eyes/ears/senses required to enjoy things!!
I GET TO DO WIP WEDNESDAYYYYYY!!! the writing exists mostly in the form of a tag (fantastic! 'verse) and also a thirty-two page doc of snippets and planning, so the sense you will be using most is imagination:
don't think i have ever actually formally written out anything about fantastic! 'verse but! the tl;dr of it is that it's a semi-college au: joel is still a hockey player for the lv phantoms, but morgan is a college student-athlete. it's incredibly relevant to the plot that joel falls in love with morgan in the check-out line of a wegman's, lies a little bit, and ends up going back to get his degree.
most of it is just good fun about college kids growing up, but i think there's a lot of parallels between making your way through a development system where traditional "success" isn't always guaranteed (ahl -> nhl, completion of higher education -> pursuit of a career) because that development system isn't always designed for you to "succeed" or have opportunities. heavy quotation marks around success because part of that struggle is learning what you want in life and how you define success. are your dreams achievable? are they still the same dreams you always used to have? it's infinite branching universes of would you still love me if i was a worm (ahl player forever) (a college dropout) (a college graduate) (older) (realizing the fallibility of your body) (uncertain of the future) (human).
silly little snippet:
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#do i LOVE this snippet no we're still workshopping but i felt like y'all needed context for why it's fantastic! 'verse#and i can't link ash's tweet because. priv nor can i link kay or jos' replies so this is me saying Just Trust Me the tweet is this scene#anon the gift keeps on giving. i get to gab i get to be nosy the world is ideal i am here for it#does it count as wip wednesday if the w in question has been ip for four (?) years?#liv in the replies#HI THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GO OUT WHEN I FIRST GOT IT BUT I MISSED WEDNESDAY SO I HAD TO WAIT A WHOLE WEEK TO HIT IT AGAIN#BECAUSE I GOT EXCITED ABOUT DOING THE DAYS OF THE WEEK wip wednesday#you know the one oh i LOVE this part audio? that's me any time somebody asks me questions i am SO inclined to share.#one time somebody made a comparison about the blog and walking through a garden and it made me weepy i can't even lie#ALSO I SAW YOUR OTHER ASK i am in the trenches about whether i want to post it or not i did also go look and see her morgan posting in 2019#and maybe she is the same girlfriend?? maybe they broke up and got back together?? maybe she just cleaned up her vsco??? SO confused#(the debate is for all the reasons you mentioned lol it's just me deciding how Public you have to be before i think i want to paper doll yo#into my narratives? in a public forum because i would absolutely dm/gc/etc where there's no chance she could see or be involved#(as if she is on tumblr) but also figuring out how much i let into the sandbox. To Me things like the edm polycule or including wags can be#interesting within the narratives and sometimes i just pretend they don't exist! right now i am intrigued by the fact of whether or not#i invented a girlfriend (???) for morgan but she really doesn't fit into my narratives in a fun/interesting way besides that#and i don't want to spread misinfo if i DID invent this other girlfriend. rip morgan's imaginary (??) gf although i KNOW there was one#with the artsy vsco claw marks on his back. i promise!!! maybe it was just her!!!#fantastic! 'verse#i have better snippets i promise this au is funny it also features like. all of the 2019-2020 flyers because that's when i started writing#AND probably ten of those 32 pages are plans for a sequel/companion about isaac ratcliffe my beloved šŸ˜­#don't think too hard about who is actually playing on the flyers or draft orders without people. EYE know who is still on the team#but i did not do the math shenanigans to figure out who replaced people like morgan or scooty loots. vibes only no PP units
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galindatopland Ā· 2 years ago
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pit girl montage is so not about JUSTICE what are you people on about
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unproduciblesmackdown Ā· 2 years ago
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the sense of having any lore about the ancient [ten to thirteen years ago] of marble hornets times like granpa granpa tell us a greentext story....the only hitch is not having stories and instead having "i guess you had to be there" tales from the fringes, unless instead of a hitch you frame this as a bit
#like what's crucial info from then? who knows. smthing neat abt mh is its iterative resurgences apparently lol. got a wavelength#from the start it was always [queer fans queer fans trans fans trans fans] etc to be sure#by ''thee start'' i mean i showed up a couple of months? weeks? before s2 started. i think amnesia: the dark descent was partly to thank to#i mean of course it is in all things no matter the topic. and i feel manesia the dark manscent in this chili's tonight#one of the more [umm] first true spikes in New Ppl was when that game with the pages got streamed a lot#not a lot to work with there re: [you are already at mh hq] but brought ppl in like umm yea it's a little youtube movie here....#Back In Those Days...when youtube had a Reply feature for videos which i would have forgotten was anything if not for tta really....#the saga of [we didn't have any crisp behind the scenes pics of tim's mask for a while so deciding what its design seemed to be was tricky]#or [lucky that alex's striped hoody had both the inner seam highlights & the patch on the waistband] re: identifying it....#the hoody was already Out Of Production lol the base masks were from michael's crafts which i hear has recently discontinued them; pensive#paper mache cosplays here we go....#anyways nothing makes a good story. one time i sprinted to beat everyone on unfiction to solve a scrambled dvd cover#i managed to post it first (here on tumblr) And Then on unfiction; where it was also first lol. this was ignored#(one reply did a nominal shoutout like ''[other user] and others'' lmao)#i blog to this day....where's unfiction (rhetorical)#they were great for crowdsourcing codes but the Analysis(tm) left many things to be desired (i mean on tumblr too sometimes of Course)#unfiction would be like ''why is this entry delayed [thinking emoji]'' & truly the answer like ''they explained the behind the scenes reaso#in this linked facebook post here (the funy saga of joseph losing the distinctive out of print hoodie before its Part Two appearance)''#and the unfiction thread would continue apace like ''hmm guess we'll never know'' yeah apparently not#unsurprisingly my best Retro Tales From Behind The Scenes would be like; that fun mh viewing party commentary bit live event....#that there was overlap w/my first coming out transly times & probably had my Best Experience w/that from the mh creators lol#that thesis simply Is the tale. the bit abides
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jackgoodfellow Ā· 2 years ago
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More WIPs from a project that was supposed to be a quick joke and is now A Whole Thing!
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Here is a preliminary Hikari, and Samo's big brother! He has also escaped his genre, and he is not aware that most of the things he says sound incredibly threatening! Although only Hikari seems to notice anyway. (Luckily for Hikari, he really is a nice guy!)
@adamofingolstadt - a Hikari for you! šŸ˜Š
#wips#i escaped my genre#once I finish these pieces I will post them with full image descriptions#original characters#the brother character has the same issue as tatsu from way of the house husband. he's a sweet guy who always sounds like a murderer!#Ya know for the last 2 years or so I have been pouring my heart and soul into a graphic novel (link to drafts in my blog description;#I've been told they are fun to read!) but somehow I have posted less art from that than I have for this! šŸ˜… at least as far as tumblr goes.#There's a bunch on ao3. all this is quite alright tho - Silly side projects are actually absolutely vital to keep my love of art alive#and in the long run it will actually help me build the skills and passion I need to finish my novel!#I'm just hoping i have the juice to finish all this stuff in the next week so I can get back to the novel#but I am ultimately subject to whatever the ADHD decides. I hope if I take a break from this that I do come back to finish my other pieces#I am getting faster though. I drew both of these pieces in one day and also have time to work on the comic.#today was a wildly productive day. tomorrow I am going to concentrate on being a vegetable. šŸ˜¤#I must respect my body's rare gift of productivity by offering it rest and care.#I may change hikari's design a little bit but I think it's looking pretty good. added the ear piercings bc of the wonderful fan art I got!#honestly the fan art may be better than what I've made here - the bat with nails and the hands were SO good
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midgesrphub Ā· 2 months ago
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rules
All my blogs will get dark, and some will be suggestive/nsft at times! Each blog will contain their own cw/tw in the muse bio page, but some topics that can be found across them are: death; violence; trauma; abuse; and war.
No godmodding.
20+ muns only. I, myself, am 21+, and feel comfortable rping with those who are, at least, 20 years old.
The majority of my muses are 21+ as well. I do reblog nsft memes/posts, and anything nsft will be tagged as 'nsft'.
if it's smut or heavily suggestive, it will be put under a read more and labeled as mature.
I will not rp anything sexual with anons
I will not rp anything sexual with Eight (ofmonstrs), Zargabaath (lightinxthedark), or Myra (guest muse on disillusionedjudge).
I will do my best to tag triggers accordingly, and please do not hesitate to tell me if Iā€™ve missed a tag or if youā€™d like me to start tagging something! All triggers will be tagged as ā€™#[trigger] twā€™, ex: 'death tw'.
I am semi-selective and mutuals only, so please don't ask me to become mutuals. I also do not require anyone to follow my hub to be considered a mutual - if I follow you and you follow at least one of my blogs, that's good enough for me! This blog is mainly for my sanity, tbh. Also, if you want to stop being mutuals or don't want me following you, please block me! You also owe me zero explanation - rping is all for fun, so you do what makes you happy!
There isnā€™t a time limit on open starters or ask memes! With ask memes, I just ask that you send in the full thing, and not just the symbol and/or word prompt, just so that way I know what itā€™s asking. Youā€™re also more than welcome to request specific verses and/or plot(s) when sending in an ask, replying to an ask, or replying to something in general! With that said, I reblog ask memes to this blog, but please do not use my blog as a resource! I don't want my notes to get slammed, and I will block anyone who treats me as such.
Iā€™m always 100% down to create private verses/new aus! If that interests you, please feel free to let me know and I can create a tag to get the ball rolling!
I am more than willing to do pre-existing relationships with both canon and oc characters!
I will not rp incestual relationships or underaged relationships.
My blogs are for fun! There is absolutely no pressure or time constraints to reply to threads, so please take however long you need! And in the same vein, I am going to be slow myself, so please donā€™t pressure me for replies either! And if you ever need/want to drop threads, go for it!
I personally enjoy writing longer replies, but I wonā€™t say no to shorter threads! I just ask that you try to somewhat match my length, and Iā€™ll do the same in return! For example, if I give a multi-para response and I get a sentence or two in return, itā€™sā€¦ not fun and itā€™ll kill my muse pretty quick.
I do not require icons, gifs, or images to be used in replies! I personally won't be using any.
I will be writing open starters in small text, but you are not required to match it! Overall, I tend to match text size to my partnerā€™s, so the extent of my formatting can go from small text with bolded and/or italicized words, or regular-sized text with bolded and/or italicized words.
Also, while not a rule, one thing you should know is that I swear and several of my muses swear as well! Swearing will be present across most, if not all, of my blogs both in and out of character, but I am willing to avoid using swears in threads if that's more comfortable for you! Just remember they will appear overall.
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snekdood Ā· 3 months ago
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hey- i hope this goes without saying, but if you ever follow me or interact with my posts and someone contacts you about me or starts harassing you for some reason and it seems to be connected to following me for some reason, or if i rb from you and you suddenly get harassment or something from someone else, or you see someone impersonating me online- please let me know about it. i dont condone that shit. i'm pretty sure this isnt happening, but i often worry that my time spent in the early part of vaush's community has invoked the ire of some neo nazis and/or the fact im p sure my abusive ex is secretly a neo nazi and everything they say about me wrt that is projection and they have neo nazi buddies online- what im saying is i wouldnt be surprised if no-life neo nazi types are trying to manipulate shit on here to make me look a certain way either on behalf of my ex or bc they know my situation and the shit my ex says about me and wants to convince people its true so i get dragged down and either kill myself or join them.
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osmiabee Ā· 1 year ago
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Hi. I'm a biologist of colour with PCOS. There is significant amount of error and misinformation here.
Hirsutism is NOT a diagnostic criterion for PCOS - let alone the most important one - it's one of many indicative symptoms which can include adult acne, infertility, "male pattern" excess hair growth and "male pattern" balding - There are not considered diagnostic criteria as these are secondary symptoms that occur due to excess testosterone.
The diagnostic criteria are all direct symptoms: you need 2/3 for official diagnosis: Irregular periods (self-reported), Visible cysts on ovaries (via ultrasound), and Excess "above range" Testosterone (via blood test),
When you test for what is considered a "healthy range" you have to exclude people who are unhealthy and exhibiting symptoms, as they will skew the data. Worst case scenario this can lead to people NOT getting the diagnosis and treatment they need because they are considered "normal" even while exhibiting secondary symptoms.
The 97.5th percentile is a common statistical tool that excludes the extremes of the data to set a realistic average range. When someone comes in with symptoms of a disease (in the example above, men with osteoporosis) and you test them and find their hormones are different to 95-97.5% of a healthy, asymptomatic population, you can then point at that hormone as a potential cause of disease and correct it.
I cannot describe to you how important it is to exclude people with the "makes too much testosterone" disorder, while testing a baseline population to get an idea of the "normal/healthy" levels of testosterone.
Because PCOS is so common (2-10% of the population depending on your statistical model) that bar/threshold for testosterone in women is set high. Likely because even while trying to exclude people exhibiting PCOS symptoms (including excess hair) so many people with underlying PCOS (and high androgens) are largely asymptomatic (half of cases accourding to the NHS), and either live their whole lives unaware or do not get tested until they have significant fertility or secondary health problems later down the line.
In my own case when I got my results back I was the third woman that *day* that my doctor had to call to say "sorry, your androgen results were quite high but technically within the normal range," likely because that 97.5 percentile bar they're using as a baseline is skewed by the fact that a huge proportion of women have PCOS, and even while exc they can't exclude us all from the baseline based on diagnosis, family history, and secondary symptoms obvious to doctors (like hirsutism) alone!
These are all tools made to inform individualised medicine: despite my "normal range" androgens I am currently taking Spironolactone (a testosterone reducing drug - commonly used in HRT) to combat the effects of PCOS because my "in range" hormones were still clearly too much for my individual body, and caused symptoms that made me unhealthy (anaemic and in severe pain due to periods + painful acne) and put me at risk of things like diabetes and heart disease later down the line.
This isn't about just arbitrarily excluding women with "too much" hair. But about setting a useful baseline for XX-female high-androgen disorders.
BECAUSE BEING ABLE TO ACCURATELY DIAGNOSE PCOS IS A GOOD THING.
The linked study above that was immediately dismissed as weird and racist, looked at the symptoms of a diverse group of american women with PCOS, and found preliminary data that the areas of skin that respond to high androgen levels (due to PCOS) differ depending on race. (for example - African Americans commonly developed facial hirsutism under their chins, while hispanic individuals were more likely to develop it on their arms and legs).
STUDIES LIKE THIS ARE GOOD, ACTUALLY, BECAUSE IF WE ONLY HAVE DATA FOR WHITE PEOPLE, POC WILL BE UNDERDIAGNOSED.
These kinds of studies are important, because it tells dermatologists where to look for secondary symptoms of PCOS in their patients, which is important because 92% of people with PCOS have symptoms affecting their skin, and 1 in 4 undiagnosed people are referred for PCOS diagnosis by a dermatologist.
IN CONCLUSION: This isn't about defining "woman" or "normal female" or setting "arbitrary" "spider eating" statistical rules for what is an acceptable testosterone range. It's about creating an accurate model for disease, which despite potentially affecting 1/10 people with uteruses, is massively underresearched and underdiagnosed. Because of medical misogyny. And racism to boot.
It's true that huge swathes of medical practice are rooted in misogyny and racism, and uphold a gender and sex binary that is, in reality, far more flexible and complicated than historic tests would allow for, but this post is inaccurate and relies on borderline deliberate misinterpretation of the medical data to make that point.
I forget why, but I was on the Wikipedia page for polycystic ovarian syndrome, and I started researching hirsutism in women, and I learned the following things in this order:
there's a diagnostic criteria used to evaluate how hairy a woman is
This is important because being too hairy is a diagnostic criteria of most disorders that cause hyperandrogenism
Disorders that cause hyperandrogenism can be diagnosed by...measuring how hairy you are (this is the main and most important diagnostic criterion for PCOS)
Disorders that cause hyperandrogenism are important because they are correlated with obesity, infertility, and...being too hairy?
I think to myself, wait, what is a normal range for testosterone in women? I find this article...which set reference ranges for "normal" testosterone levels in women...EXCLUDING WOMEN WITH PCOS?
Quote: "Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is another notable condition in genetic (XX) females, which is characterized by excessive ovarian production of androgens. This condition is included for comparison with DSD, as the affected females with PCOS are genetic and phenotypic females. The elevated levels of testosterone in these females can lead to hyperandrogenism, a clinical disorder characterized variably by hirsutism, acne, male-pattern balding, metabolic disturbances, impaired ovulation and infertility. PCOS is a common condition, affecting 7%-10% of premenopausal women."
So: the study claims to demonstrate a clear distinction between the normal range of hormone levels in "Healthy" men and "healthy" women...with "healthy" being defined in the study as...having hormones within the "normal" range.......................
So I researched what the clinically established "normal" range for testosterone in women is
THERE ISN'T ONE????
Quote from the above article: "Several different approaches have been used to define endocrine disorders. The statistical approach establishes the lower and the upper limits of hormone concentrations solely on the basis of the statistical distribution of hormone levels in a healthy reference population. As an illustration, hypo- and hypercalcemia have been defined on the basis of the statistical distribution of serum calcium concentrations. Using this approach, androgen deficiency could be defined as the occurrence of serum testosterone levels that are below the 97.5th percentile of testosterone levels in healthy population of young men. A second approach is to use a threshold hormone concentration below or above which there is high risk of developing adverse health outcomes. This approach has been used to define osteoporosis and hypercholesterolemia. However, we do not know with certainty the thresholds of testosterone levels which are associated with adverse health outcomes."
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
It's batshit crazy to make a diagnostic criteria for medical disorders by placing arbitrary cutoffs within 2-5% of either end of a statistical distribution. What the actual fuck?
"The results came back, you have Statistical Outlier Disease." "What treatments are available?" "Well, first, we recommend dietary change. You should probably stop eating so many spiders."
Another article which attempted to do this
Quote: "Subjects with signs of hirsutism or with a personal history of diabetes or hypertension, or a family history of polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) were excluded."
"We're going to figure out the typical range of testosterone levels that occur in women! First, we're going to exclude all the women that are too hairy from the study. I am very good at science."
Anyway I got off topic but there are apparently race-specific diagnostic tools for "hirsutism." That's kinda weird on its own but when I looked more into this in relation to race I found this article that straight-up uses the term "mongoloid"
#haha jk guys. PCOS isnt real. Doctors diagnosed me with a devastating lack of transgender swag and went 'put this bitch on spiro STAT!'#also this leaves out the huge amount of self advocacy that you have to do in the medical system especially as female presenting and a poc#and also I could not open that last link to verify because it just gave a linking error#I don't doubt it nor am I defending the use of the word here but definitely wasnt used in the first paper linked#I get that people look at medical journals and feel overwhelmed by jargon too and just skim read#but this is a lot of BOLD statements. based on things read on Wikipedia and skim read.#all the stats are pulled from that paper and the NHS website btw#long post#anyway if you got this far fjdjfjd well done#net zero information ig#also. had to leave out the complexities of how the baseline *could* and *has been* historically misused against women#particularly WOC#but also against intersex people#because god. the post is already so long already#brevity is not my strongest suit sorry. hopefully legibility is though.#oh also one extra tidbit for the tags. you can just. ask. to go on spironolactone#if you have the acne symptoms particularly#but if youve tried the pill and it didnt work/broke your brain and all the other medicines failed to make a dent. you can just... ask......#shout out to spiro man. that little purple dragon innit. šŸ’œ#i fucks w him#this is a fucking meme blog why did i go autism mode and write all this.#got so angry.... and for hwot.
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blackpearlblast Ā· 9 months ago
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list of GFMs for families trying to evacuate gaza
making a list of all of the fundraisers of people who have reached out to me directly on here in order to have them all in one place. all of them have either been vetted by other users or i verified them personally by checking their other social media accounts (like twitter or instagram) to confirm. everyone here definitely needs support, a lot of their family members are injured or in need of medical care that is not available in gaza. i am also linking their tumblr accounts so that you can follow them to keep up with their campaigns.
Ezzideen Shehab - @drezzideen his close friend and campaign runner is @boshradaoud1 - ā‚¬23,727/75,000
Haya Orouq - @haya-orouq19 - $55,180/70,000 (USD)
Nesma Ahmed - @nesmamomen - $55,756/80,000 (USD)
Dina - (Nesma's sister) - $265/20,000 (CAD)
Hala - @hlabarka22 - $7,277/50,000 (CAD)
Sahar El Tibi - @eltibisahar - ā‚¬8,925/30,000
Haneen Atya Altalla - @haneenatya - $31,661/70,000 (AUD)
Sujood Odeh - @sujoododeh - Ā£27,691/70,000
Fatma Bassem - @fatmabassem - $18,515/40,000 (USD)
Donia Tanani - @doniatanani - ā‚¬76,117/100,000
Nozha Emad - (Donia's sister) - ā‚¬2,249/18,000
Said Tanani - (Donia's brother) - ā‚¬33,759/50,000
Mohammed Emad - (Donia's family) - ā‚¬1,073/100,000
Abdullah - @amhdes90 - $7,447/47,000 (USD)
Amal and Ruba Abushaban - Amal's account was terminated but her sister Ruba is @rubashabansblog - ā‚¬12,987/50,000
Mahmoud ElTibi - @mahmoodeltibi - ā‚¬9,076/60,000
Heba Maqadma - @hebaalmaqadma - ā‚¬60,915/80,000
Fadi Sharif - @fadisharif11 - $25,232/62,500 (USD)
Mohammed Bardaweel - @mohbardaweel - ā‚¬3,948/37,000
Ahmed N. Abubaker - @ahmednabubak - ā‚¬25,868/85,000
Alaa Al Khateeb - @alaagaza - Ā£20,457/26,000
Ahmad Shaban - @ahmd-iyd - Ā£6,146/150,000
Omar - @omarsobhi - ā‚¬4,253/20,000
Wesam and Tahani Shorbaje - @wesamshorbaje-2 and @tahanishorbaje2 - $8,093/50,000 (USD)
Fahed Shehab - @fahedshehab - ā‚¬5,416/50,000
Hani Alhajjar - @skatehani - ā‚¬14,365/50,000
Amneh Sharif - @amnehsharif - $4,550/150,000 (USD)
Mohammed Talatene - @mohammed-123 - ā‚¬7,530/20,000
Bilal - @bilal-salah0 - ā‚¬21,938/70,000
Amjad Sido - @amjadsido - ā‚¬1,333/30,000
Firas Salem - @firassalemgaza - ā‚¬17,414/65,000
Mahmoud Balousha - @bba3lo - ā‚¬5,654/50,000
Amal Abu Shammala - @amalisam96 - ā‚¬46,170/50,000
Madleen - @mado-o-on - $45,991/70,000 (USD)
Iman Eyad - @imanblogs - Ā£1,787/60,000
Deaa - @familydeea - $22,453/90,000 (CAD)
Laila Shaqura - @lailashaqoura - ā‚¬2,033/35,000
Shahed - @shahednhall - $662/50,000 (USD)
Alaa Ayad - @hello-alaa-universe-blog - $2,438/50,000 (AUD)
Momen Alostaz - @momenalostaz - ā‚¬7,781/70,000
Tawfik Satoom - @tawfiksatooom -$11,555/40,000 (USD)
Mahmoud Saleh - @mide404 - ā‚¬1,754/20,000
Ahmad Alturk - @ahmadturk00 - ā‚¬5,915/70,000
Bahaa Elhosary - @bobelhosary - ā‚¬15,577/30,000
Malk Zaeem - @malkzaeem - $14,413/50,000
Mahmoud Helles - @hillesmahmoud - ā‚¬15,752/20,000
Karam Al-Nabih - @karamrafeek - ā‚¬7,115/20,000
Ahmad Waleed - @ahmadwaleeed - $3,106/10,000
please also see @el-shab-hussein's full list of verified campaigns here, most of the campaigns here were verified by him or other tumblr users such as sayruq, fairuzfan, ibtisams, and others. please note my ability to vet campaigns myself is limited to if someone has an active social media account (that clearly shows that they are from gaza) from before october of last year that links to their campaign. please do not consider me a resource on this, i made this post only to make sure i did not lose track of the campaigns people had personally reached out and asked me to share.
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