#( any deer pic i see now is just Her )

[landofequestria]

whos gonna hold flutters like this??? huh????

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Not That Kind of Guy

Part Nine: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink (Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation, nude vids/pics, rape mentioned (somnophilia), gen. sexual content, Panic/Anxiety Attack, forced nudity [Be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]

Info: Anakin/Ghost having thoughts?? Unselfish ones?? Luke can’t stop roasting/sassing you [diary entries from Ani] [texting/letters/notes]extremely not proofread. MDNI 18+

Diary Entry: August 10th

I think enough time has passed. I think you’re ready to see Ghost again.

I thought it would take longer for you to recover, but as always, the little fawn in you is curious as ever. Quick to forget fear and ready for the newest challenge.

You’ve responded so well to everything. I’m very proud of you.

I’ve been keeping up with my visits, still cleaning, still watching, still following and protecting.

Now that you know of Ghost, I’ve started completing my tasks. I don’t have to leave anything halfway finished, the dishes are done everyday along with the vacuuming and dusting. I even mop twice a week.

And change the cat litter, which might I add, is disgusting. (Worth it though because I love that little menace.)

I thought for sure you’d run and tell me that you didn’t think the alarms I installed weren’t working, but you didn’t, you just repeatedly tested them yourself. It was very loud, very annoying and I know you could hear the woman down the hall banging her pots and pans together to fight back with her own noise. You didn’t care though, you just wanted to make sure the alarms worked.

They do work, I wouldn’t have installed fake ones, that would be stupid. I’m all for keeping you safe so… what’s one more safety measure?

I just know that they can also be very easily disarmed. Even through the inch and a half thick wooden door to your apartment. A piece of sheet metal (credit card sized) and my handy dandy super strength magnet works like a charm.

You’re such an odd bird. You haven’t told anyone, I don’t think it’s really even crossed your mind too much either. You’ve begun to pretend the cameras aren’t even there. You just go about your normal day to day life and occasionally squint and stare at random objects.

You never actually go check them out though. Is it all for show? I think it might be.

I think you like being watched. I bet it makes you feel safe doesn’t it? Knowing I’m always there for you?

——————————————————————————

You know what the best part of all this is?

Ghost will let me love you in the way that is natural and normal to me. I just hope that you’ll be willing to accept that we are one in the same.

Ghost can comfortably do all the things that I’ve been afraid to. I didn’t want to scare you, but it really was difficult not to leave you things. I’m so glad that you brought that up in your list of questions because it gave me the opportunity to act on it without you flipping out.

Do you like them? I love leaving things for you. Especially little notes.

Ghost has been kind enough to stay out of your way when I’m around, but I can resist making you squirm occasionally. Remember when I left you a note, KNOWING I’d be coming home with you later that day?

Oh babe. It was so oddly intoxicating to see the way you reacted when I got back home and pulled up the footage. You snatched up that slip of paper didn’t read it and didn’t toss it in the trash, didn’t put it in your pocket.

You shoved it in your mouth so I wouldn’t see it. Freak.

I saw it all chewed up and gross in the bathroom trash. You didn’t read it. I know you didn’t. So I’ll have to get alittle more creative.

Don’t ignore me.

DATE

August 13th

For the third morning in a row you woke up to a text from your own cellphone number.

‘Sleep well deer?’

Idiot. Can’t even spell. So finally on this third day, you sent a text back and corrected him.

‘Dear*’

Immediately a response buzzed through.

‘No.’

No? What does he mean no?

‘Little doe. My deer. 🦌’

Oh great, so stalkers use emojis and he’s given you a nickname. How cute.

You laid back in your bed and tossed your phone aside, hands covering your face as you rubbed the sleep away.

The longer this went on, the more insane you felt. This wasn’t normal, of course it’s not normal. So why are you allowing it?

You could ask yourself that a million times and you’d never find an answer.

You could throw away every flower he brought you and they’d still keep coming. You could burn every piece of paper in the city and chew every pen until it’s broken beyond repair and he would still find a way to write you a note.

You could swallow every word he writes, throw it up, flush it, whatever. It’s just going to pop back up. Gross and soggy with an amendment attached and in your panty drawer.

You thought maybe it was an important one. So you read it. Quickly discovered it was semi-important, Ghost just wanted to remind you that he loved you and he was proud of you for continuing to drink your tea even though you knew it was drugged. Once you’re out of it, he’s going to set the pills out next to your birth control. So he ‘doesn’t have to fool with measurements anymore’.

The addendum to the note was tucked inside the original:

‘Good girls swallow.’

You could ignore the trinkets, the jewelry or the pretty stones and shells. But he would just move them to a different spot and force you to eventually set it in your jewelry box along with all the others.

He’s not been bold enough to come around with Anakin in your home. The nights that Anakin sleeps over, there are no gifts, no cleaning done. No disturbances.

But Anakin doesn’t deter him completely.

He’s left you one note at Anakin’s apartment, the first time you’d slept away from your own home in ages. Ghost had the audacity to slip a note into the pocket of your shorts while you slept in the same bed as Anakin in his apartment.

It didn’t say anything, no words, just a heart in red ink. Like he just wanted to remind you that he was there and you were his whether you wanted to be or not. Anakin or no Anakin, Ghost didn’t care.

It’s been horrible lying… omitting the truth to Anakin. Sometimes you feel like blurting it out, but something always stops you. Morbid curiosity maybe. Or maybe you just like the thrill of it, that little shiver of adrenaline you get every time he makes himself known.

It would all stop if you told Anakin. Neither would quit until he’d hunted the other man down and gotten rid of him.

They’d kill each other.

——————————————————————————

Anakin worked tonight, so you had plans to meet up with Luke (sans his pet leech) for a late evening dinner. As much as you loved Han and appreciated everything he did for Luke, how happy he made him, you really just wanted some time alone with your best friend.

So you were thrilled to receive a text around 1:00pm from Luke:

‘Don’t be late. I’m dying to catch up babe.’

You quickly opened the message but before you finished typing, a voice message popped up in your notifications, sent from your number.

You abandoned the chat with Luke and opted to open the voice message instead.

‘I’m coming home.’ then a long pause, ‘have fun with Lukey.’

That scratchy filtered voice; you’d yet to hear it over the phone and this being the first time… it sent you right back to the very first time you watched Scream. That icy chill that snuck up the back of your neck, the tightening of your chest… you felt it now, just not because of fear.

You felt it because you were excited.

——————————————————————————

“Okay, seriously what do you keep looking at?” Luke prodded, snatching your phone and sliding it into his jacket pocket.

“Nothing it’s just-“

“My phone is on ‘do no disturb’, because I have missed my buddy, my pal, my best friend.” He paused, his pointer finger jabbing the table between your plate and his.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I haven’t even unlocked it! It’s just sitting there.”

“True, but the obnoxious tapping to check whatever it is you’re hoping for is getting annoying.” Honesty, brutal or not, was Luke’s love language.

“Fine. I’m sorry, I’ll put it in my pocket.” You agreed, holding your hand out palm up.

“No ma’am. This is mine until the check comes.” His answer was definitive, no room for argument there. “What’s so important anyway? I know Anakin is at work.”

“It’s just work stuff.” You huffed.

“Oh? What’s so pressing at the diner?” He scoffed, “got a big shipment of ketchup coming in? Are you ‘on call’?”

“Luke.” You rolled your eyes at his jab. “No and yes. I am ‘on call’ actually. Sara’s son has been sick.’

Not a total lie, he has been sick. Poor guy. But her husband was home with him and he was being well looked after.

“Okay? That’s your problem how?”

“God you’re so negative sometimes.” You sighed. “Her babysitter hates vomit. If he throws up Sara will have to go home.”

“Ew.” He scrunched up his nose. “I’m eating.”

“Okay? That’s my problem how?” You said mockingly.

“Really? Like for real that’s why you keep checking your phone?”

“Yes really.” Giving him a look that screamed duh’. “Her baby sitter is the 14 year old girl that lives next door to her. Do you really suggest leaving a 14 year old in charge of a vomiting 2 year old? When that 14 year old is disgusted by puke? That’s a recipe for disaster.”

It would be a disaster, her sitter is 14. She just happens to be on vacation with her mother right now. Hence the temporary stay at home husband.

“Okay, first of all, 14? Isn’t that alittle young?”

“No? I started babysitting when I was 12.” You shrugged.

“Fine.” Luke sighed. “Here.”

He slid your phone back to you and propped his chin up on his fist. Watching you check it one last time before turning on the sound and putting it in your back pocket.

——————————————————————————

‘I’m walking home now!’

You shot off the text to Anakin after saying your goodbye to Luke at the restaurant. You’d refused his offer to walk you home, you didn’t want him anywhere near your apartment building knowing that Ghost would be there.

Six minutes later he replied:

‘Good girl.🥰 let me know when you get there safe.’

‘Will do💕’

And you did, the moment you stood outside your apartment door.

‘Made it! See you tomorrow💕’

You waited in the hall to receive his response. You didn’t know what would be waiting for you on the other side of this door, and you didn’t want to chance it.

‘Perfect. Sweet dreams doll!’

Your hand poised at the door knob, you inserted your key to discover your door was already unlocked. You very slowly opened the door, but saw no one in your kitchen or living room.

But your bedroom door was closed, boogie hadn’t meowed as loudly as possible and sprinted to you, demanding to be fed. He did say that they were good friends. So they both must be in your room.

Would it be wise to lock your door? The few precious seconds leaving it unlocked would save if you needed to run… no, no. Just lock it. Doorknob. Deadbolt. Chain.

‘Just stay calm’

You kicked off your shoes and tossed your bag to the floor, walking quietly across the carpeted living room to pause in front of your bedroom. A soft yellow glow shone beneath the door, your lamp must be on. You could hear your tv playing something, not quite sure what it was, but it had the all too familiar cadence of a horror flick.

The audacity of this man astounded you.

When you pushed open the door, he was laying in your bed, shoes off, legs crossed at the ankles, propped against the headboard, arms behind his head. He looked like he belonged there. As big a contrast as it was… your soft, pink, feminine room and him. All black, the mask. He just looked so comfortable.

Your cat, the little traitor, was curled up on his chest. It was kind of sweet. How could such an inherently terrifying scenario seem so normal?

Ever so casually he tilted his head toward you, his right hand raising from its relaxed position to lazily give you gloved finger waggle for a wave.

“Have fun?” The filtered voice drifted over to you.

“Yes.” You answered quietly, glued to the spot.

“Are you just going to stand there?” He laughed. “I would come pick you up, but it’s illegal to move a sleeping cat.” He gestured to boogie who had still not moved from her human pillow.

You couldn’t help but laugh, eyebrows raised in an expression of awe filled shock. This was too weird. Too normal. Too scarily alluring.

Yet you found yourself at the edge of the bed, not really knowing how you got there to begin with.

“Sat you some pajamas out.” He said dismissively, the mask fixed onto the tv screen. “Figured you’d wanna change.”

“Huh.” You snorted, seeing that he had.

You expected to see one of your lacy lingerie sets. But he’d chosen something much more modest that you would’ve ever imagined. Loose, thin, stretchy fabric pajama pants, the matching cropped tank top, and fuzzy socks.

“Um. Thanks?” You said awkwardly, picking them up and turning on your heels to change in the bathroom.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He chuckled.

“To the bathroom?” You scoffed, looking over your shoulder at him.

“You can change in here.” He wasn’t offering. He was telling you.

“No way.” You shook your head. “No I’m not-“

“C’mon little doe.” The filtered voice left little room for change in tone, but you could tell from his body language that it was a challenge.

“Ghost. No! I have Anakin I don’t-.”

He laughed. “I don’t care.”

“Well I do.”

“Mmm… not enough. You’re letting me be here. You didn’t tell him. You didn’t mention me to anyone at all actually.” He pointed out.

“Well that’s not-“

“Hush.” He snapped, making you stall. “I’ve seen that pretty little body of yours plenty of times. What’s one more?”

“But-“ your face was so red hot that you could feel the heat spreading down your neck.

“What? I’m not gonna get up.” He said plainly. “I’m comfy right here where I can watch you.”

“I don’t… this isn’t right.”

“Don’t pull that bullshit with me.” He scoffed. “Nothing about this is ‘right’. But you’re letting it happen, yeah?” He said and got just a nod from you in response.

“That’s it.” He moved his arm to point two fingers at you, “get on with it sweetheart. I wanna see my girl.”

“I’m not your-“

“You were mine first.” He snapped.

“Well, that’s not very fair.” Your voice shaking. “I didn’t even know you were…. I didn’t know about you!”

“That might be true.” He growled, “but it’s your fault for being so ignorant.”

“I-I don’t…” you felt like you were on the verge of a tantrum. This man was outrageous, coming into your home uninvited, being a fucking perv, acting like he owns the place, and now he’s calling you ignorant?

“Do you realize how stupid it is for you to argue with me about the morality of all this?” He asked, going back to his former relaxed state.

“You. Are allowing me to be here. You had all day to call the cops if you wanted to. But you didn’t.” That smug little bastard laughed. “I’ve been here for over two hours. You knew I’d be here when you got back.”

“That’s not-“

“I’m not finished.” He held up a finger and silenced you. “You’re mine. You’ve been mine and you will continue to be mine.”

“I don’t care that you are pretending to be appalled by the situation you are in.” His voice was even and unyielding, he was so confident in his statements.

“You know why I don’t care?” He asked, tilting his head toward you condescension oozing from every pore.

“Why?” You squeaked.

“Because I know, without a doubt, that if I were to stick my hand down your pretty pink panties; you’d be wet right now.”

How did he know what color your underwear is? Better question: why is that the first thing you thought of when there were much more pressing matters at hand?

“That’s not true.” Your voice sounded hollow.

“It’s not?” He laughed. “Show me then.”

“What?” You whispered, eyes bugging out of your head.

“Do it. Prove to me that you’re not soaked.” He snickered.

“That’s not fair you can’t just-“

“You’re not running are you? You haven’t said no, you haven’t come over here and smacked me.” He interrupted.

You stood there with your jaw dropped, you needed a dustpan and broom to sweep up your shattered facade of denial. How could you dispute that?

“Fine!” You shouted. “Fine. I’ll just change in here.”

“Don’t raise your voice at me.” He growled. “You’re awfully bold for a spoiled brat.”

“I am not a-“

“When will you stop disagreeing with me?” He laughed. “You know it’s true. I’ve spoiled you so much that you’ve rotted to your core. You weren’t always a brat, but you are now. You like being spoiled don’t you? Being taken care of, being treated like a princess?”

“Your little boyfriend does the same thing doesn’t he?” He snickered. “Spoiled. Brat.”

“You’re just a little girl who needs a man to hold her hand.”

“You’re being mean.” You whispered, your voice breaking.

“The truth is hard to hear isn’t it little doe?” He said, his voice going back to its nonchalant, flat tone.

You couldn’t argue. He’d been right about everything and it’s difficult to argue with someone who throws fact after fact at you like he’s doing. So you took a deep breath and closed your bedroom door.

“Atta girl.” He nodded. “Show me.”

So you did, you turned around and began undressing, you could feel his eyes on you, soaking up the display you were crafting for him.

“Turn around.” His voice alittle quieter, the voice box crackling.

Slowly you complied, swallowing your fear and embarrassment. You kept your eyes closed, it made you feel the slightest bit better, I’m the way a kid would think ‘I can’t see you so you can’t see me’.

“Gorgeous.” He breathed out.

Behind your eyelids you swear you noticed a change in lighting, briefly, but enough to take note of. Your eyes snapped open and saw him holding up his phone.

He’d taken a picture of you.

“Ghost, no! Delete that right now!” You squealed, quickly getting dressed in your fresh pajamas.

“Cool it.” He waved you off. “Just gonna add it to my special folder just for you. See?” He turned his screen toward you and you inched forward.

He wasn’t lying. He scrolled through over one hundred images and videos, some of you in public, some nude, some of you sleeping. All in a folder titled ‘little doe’.

“These are for me.” He said simply. “They’re not going anywhere so don’t worry about that.”

“But these…” he turned the screen back to himself and tapped twice, scrolled and then tapped again before flipping it around.

The images in front of you made you nauseous.

You, spread legs and wet cunt, up close.

You with your hand being held up by Ghost, your fingers buried deeply between your folds.

A short video of your pussy being lovingly stroking by a leather glove. Another of one long digit pumping into you slowly.

A picture of your lips wrapped around his cock.

“S-so you did… you did touch me?” You recoiled.

“No.” He said flatly, before you could protest he laughed.

“You loved it.” He snickered. “Never let you cum. I wanted you to be needy for me.”

“Until… until I saw you.” You whispered.

“Mhm, that’s right.” He nodded. “Took care of your poor swollen pussy properly that time.” He cooed, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

“You’re sick.” You breathed out. “That’s disgusting… you-“

“Call the cops.” He said gesturing to your phone laying on the bed.

“What?”

“You heard me. Call ‘em.” He snorted. “If I’m so sick and disgusting and you’re soooo horrified by my actions; call the cops. I’ll wait right here.”

“Are you gonna send those to Anakin?” Your voice wobbled as you ignored his challenge. You both knew you wouldn’t call.

“Not if you’re good.”

“Are you gonna hurt him?” You asked quietly.

“Now why would I do a thing like that?” He scoffed. “I want you all to myself, but I want you to choose me. I’m not gonna go all Dexter on your boyfriend.”

“You promise?” You sniffled. “Swear it?”

“Pinky swear.” He said confidently, holding out his hand with his little finger raised.

For some reason you took it. You believed him. He hadn’t gotten up and forced you to do anything, he stayed right there the whole time. He had yet to share those pictures with Anakin. A million other twisted reasons you’d started to accept that this was becoming a new normal. A thousand other things that pushed you to believe him.

He’d only bruised your self image with his cold, hard truths about you. That’s not a crime. That’s a reality check.

“Good choice little doe!” You could practically hear the beaming smile on his face behind the plastic mask.

“Now come up here.” He patted the spot next to him. “I don’t like seeing you upset, I’m sorry.”

He was apologizing? He was apologizing.

“You’re sorry?” You repeated in shock.

“Of course I’m sorry. You’re on the verge of tears and I’ve caused it.” He said, holding out his hand palm up for you to take.

“I’m not a monster.”

You hesitated before accepting his hand and climbing into bed beside him. You sat a safe distance from him at first but he lolled his head to the side in what you assumed was a dramatic eye roll and tugged you to his side in a one armed swoop.

The action had you frozen. This was it. He was gonna hurt you. You’d been naive and stupid and he was going to violate you, this time while you were conscious, you’d remember it this time.

“Relax.” He soothed, tucking you comfortably against his side, his bicep behind your head as a pillow and his gloved hand on your side in a way that was almost comforting. “I mean it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You whispered, what the fuck is happening?

“No, it’s not okay. I could’ve been more gentle with my words.” His opposite hand rubbing his knuckles across your cheek lovingly.

You were quiet for a moment, debating on the course of action you should take. You were in fact very much allowing this to occur. Would it be so horrible to try and enjoy it? He was warm. He smelled nice and familiar, the cologne… you must have a subtle memory of it from all the times he’d been here while you slept. He was comfortable. He was surprisingly kind.

What’s the worst that could happen?

“Before you get comfy.” He spoke quietly, the voice box crackling from his low voice, “you didn’t take your pill.”

“Oh yeah you’re right.” You moved to get up, pink cheeked because once again he proved that you were in fact helpless without him.

“Don’t get up, I have it right here.” He chuckled, reaching over to the nightstand and handing you the pill packet and a thermos. “Tea.”

“Huh.” You stared at him. Gods this was so fucking weird. “Well… wow okay.” You huffed out a laugh and took your medicine with a sip of your tea.

“Tastes different.” You said, handing the packet back to him.

“Mhm. Yeah I poisoned it.” He said nonchalantly, making you almost choked on your second sip.

“You what?” You shrieked, waking up the cat who bolted from his lap.

“Aw look what you did,” he groaned gesturing to the empty space with a few stray cat hairs.

“You- are you serious?” You started to almost hyperventilate. “Should I make myself throw up?”

Why are you asked the man who poisoned you that? Like he’d tell you.

“No, that would be a waste of good tea.” He snorted. “I put cinnamon in it you idiot.”

“What?”

“Cinnamon.” He repeated. “It’s just cinnamon. It was a joke.”

“That’s not fucking funny!” You shouted, smacking his shoulder.

“Ive already told you once.” His hand shot out and grabbed your jaw firmly. “Do not. Raise. Your voice. At me.” He growled.

“I believe you meant to say ‘ha-ha, ghost that was funny. you got me!’” He snickered and released your jaw, soothing you with his hand now gently raking through your hair.

You were stunned. Absolutely shook by his quick turnaround, this should be terrifying. This man can be so gentle one moment and the next he’s speaking to you like he’s ordering you to lay down at the guillotine. It wasn’t terrifying in the right way. Not the type of fear you should be feeling at his unpredictable actions.

You weren’t scared of him at all. But yourself? Yes. Who is this girl? Why is she… why do you like this? It’s scary because you’re not scared. It’s horrifying because you want more. It’s terrifying because you’re morbidly curious about what he’d do if you acted out again.

You shook your head and picked your jaw off the floor, deciding the best course of action was to just tuck yourself back under his arm and watch whatever movie he had paused when you entered the room.

Might as well. You’ve already come this far.

Date

August 14th

When you woke up the next morning Ghost was gone. Your home was devoid of any trace of him, no note, no gift, no messages. Nothing.

He had hardly moved while you sat with him, the only consistent movement was the gentle twist and twirl of one long lock of your hair around his finger. It was repetitive and soothing, just like the calming rise and fall of his chest.

How could he be so calm? So off guard?

You could’ve turned on him at any moment. Ripped off his mask and saw who he was, grabbed your lamp and wacked him with it. Punched him in the nuts and ran.

But, to be fair, he could’ve done the same to you. Yet you stayed there, albeit anxious and on high alert for majority of the time spent with him. Despite the fact that you knew he carried a weapon, even though you were well aware of what he’d been doing to you all this time, even after he’d manhandled your face when you smarted off to him.

It must be a twisted form of mutual trust.

Or you might just be delusional.

Either way, it was wrong and you knew that. You intentionally got naked in front of another man, while he laid on the bed your boyfriend so sweetly makes love to you in. You fell asleep in the arms of this man. Not just *any* other man, the one who has been stalking you relentlessly for months.

You’ve cheated on Anakin. If he knew, it would crush him. It would break apart his big, soft, velveteen heart. Your betrayal would rip a hole right through the middle and slice up the fabric so badly it couldn’t be sewn back up without ending up smaller, weaker, and deformed.

What could you do? Was there anything to do? Telling him to his face… the thought of it soured your stomach so badly you thought you might form an ulcer.

Telling Ghost to fuck off and leave you alone wasn’t an option either. No matter what you did, the precautions you put in place; he would find you. Not only would he find you, but he wouldn’t allow Anakin the privilege of breathing anymore.

You couldn’t tell Luke. He’d lecture you until your ears bled while he dragged you to the nearest police station. Then Luke would be in danger, Anakin would know, and Ghost would still be your problem. And if Luke didn’t believe you, he’d ship you off to the long term care loony bin.

Your sister? Of course you couldn’t tell her either. She has her own family. Ghost already knows where she lives, he’s told you so.

He knows everything about you. Your family tree, your friends list, your schedule, your medical information, banking account, he has complete access to your home, your phone…

You are a canary in a cage and he is a cat pawing at you through the metal bars.

It’s only a matter of time before one of those claws nicks you. A feather or two might come loose, open up a weak spot on your frail body. The next swipe might draw blood, maybe it won’t. Or maybe he’ll be lucky enough to bat you to the bottom of the cage.

It’s hard enough to escape when there’s someone always watching. When there’s a lock on the door. But to attempt to flee with broken wings? You couldn’t hobble your way to safety anyway. Bird cages don’t have doors at the bottom, they’re halfway up. They don’t have horizontal bars. You can’t climb.

You are stuck.

It’s up to you if you want to be trapped there intact, or if you’d rather wallow at the bottom in pain.

——————————————————————————

Maybe you should just break up with Anakin.

Ghost said he wouldn’t hurt him, but how long will that last? How long until he gets tired of waiting? Should you ask Ghost again? Just to make sure? Make him sign a fucking contract?

Maybe it would be best if-

“Sweetheart?” Anakin whispered softly, waving his hand in front of your face. “What’s going on? I’ve been standing here for almost a minute.”

Anakin was here.

“What?” You whispered back, suddenly overwhelmingly aware of your surroundings.

The diner. You were at The Bluebird. You were working. A glance to the clock told you that you’d been here for over two hours, a quick scan of the tables and the counter proved that you hadn’t neglected any customers. Your notepad and pen were in your hand, there was money in the tip jar.

Anakin was here.

“Hey, c’mere.” His voice soft and concerned.

He gently took the pad and pen from your hands, put an arm around your shoulder and held your hand as he led you through the kitchen. Not an uncommon occurrence, Anakin was well known to everyone at the Bluebird due to his frequent visits to see you. He often walked with you out through the kitchen to sit on the curb with you while you took a break and he smoked a cigarette.

“Vigo, I’m taking her out back.” He said quietly, speaking to the dishwasher.

“I was about to call you man.” He spoke back in a hushed voice. “She’s been actin’ like that since she got here.”

“Yeah? Well next time don’t wait to call.” Anakin grumbled, scowling at your coworker.

The heat of the afternoon sun soothed over your skin, making you painfully aware of the cold sweat lacing the back of your neck. You blinked and it felt like it was the first time you’d closed your eyes in hours. Your mouth was dry, your teeth felt cold and your brain might’ve been better described as soup.

Anakin sat down on the curb and pulled you down with him. Placing you sideways between his legs, your arms immediately threw themselves around his neck and you curled up into him.

“Jesus baby.” He whispered, the wind getting knocked out of him at your aggressive tackle.

“An-” You started to sob before you even finished his name.

“W-what’s wrong?” You could feel his heart beat quicken beneath you, hear it pounding in his chest. He was feeling real, true panic.

“Hey, hey talk to me. Breathe.” He tried to soothe you by petting your hair, rocking you gently, kissing your forehead… anything, anything he could think of and nothing was working.

You were sobbing so loudly that Anakin was glad there wasn’t a back parking lot. If someone wanted to see where this horrible wailing was coming from they’d have to walk all the way around back, thankfully most people didn’t care enough to do such a thing.

Unfortunately though, your coworkers did care.

The back door creaked open and you could hardly hear the conversation over your own tears.

“Anakin!” Vigo whisper shouted. “What the fuck did you do to her?”

“What do you mean? I didn’t do this!” His voice angrily gritting through his teeth. “What happened today?”

“Nothin’ man! I dunno!” Vigo squeaked raising up his hands in surrender. “She just clocked in like that, no cryin’ though. She’s hardly said a word.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t call me!” Anakin grunted, “I’m her emergency contact for a reason you idiot.”

“Hey? Don’t get mad at me!” Vigo scoffed. “I figured she was in a funk because of you, why would I call if I thought it was boyfriend troubles?”

“Jesus- did you even ask her?”

“What?”

“Oh my fuckin’-“ Anakin took a breath to regulate himself, one arm firmly holding you while the other was wildly gesturing as he spoke. “Did you ask her what was wrong?”

“No?”

“Are you stupid? God just fuck- go back inside before you end up crying on the ground too.” He snapped at him, huffing as the back door shut behind a quickly retreating Vigo.

“Sorry baby, I’m sorry,” He whispered, petting your head and squeezing you tightly. “I’m sorry, that probably didn’t help did it?”

“N-not really.” You hiccuped out a laugh.

“She speaks.” He gasped, “want me to yell at him some more? I’ll do it just say the word-“

“Anakin-“ you snorted, wiping your eyes and nose on his shirt. “Aw shit sorry.”

“You think I’m worried about alittle snot?” He scoffed, “Sweetheart, I’d lick it out of your nose like a cow if you’d let me. C’mere I’ll prove it.”

He stuck out his tongue and flicked it at you, chasing your face as you squirmed away from him. Despite to horrible ache in your lungs and the scratchy feeling in your throat, Anakin had a way of making everything better. Even if it was accomplished by making a fool of himself.

You laughed in spite of trying to catch your breath, fighting those awkward stalled inhales with a the goofy little giggle only he could force out of you. He relented finally when you gave up struggling, opting for a kiss on the tip of your nose rather than his tongue up your nostril.

“Wanna talk to me now?” He asked quietly, his playful attitude tucked away and replaced with seriousness.

“I don’t know Ani.” You sighed, feeling horribly conflicted. “I just want to go home.”

“Then I’ll take you home.” He said, not leaving room for argument. “But I’m not letting you get up until you tell me what’s going on.”

“Please? Please I don’t wanna talk about it.” Your eyes already filling back up with tears.

“It’s nothing really! It’s okay.” You pleaded with him, “I’m just… I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff and it’s all overwhelming.”

“That’s not okay, don’t say it’s okay. You just wailed like a banshee.” He said sternly. “Talk, let me help.”

“I just feel like I’m losing my mind.” You scoffed, “Im going nuts. I don’t… I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it without you thinking I’m insane.”

“Princess.” He said, his voice cracking with pain. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”

“W-what if hypothetically…” you whispered. “It’s only hypothetical okay?”

“Okay. Imaginary scenario, let’s hear it.” He nodded solemnly.

“Hypothetically, if I was having… nightmares of someone being in my house. What would you say.” You whispered.

“Hypothetical nightmares?” He asked, one eyebrow raised. “Well… I’d suggest that maybe you… go to therapy? See if you can find the root of the problem.”

Therapy? To find the root of the problem? That would work if you didn’t already know where to find the problem: in your apartment at any given moment. Hell, he was probably there right now.

“Are you having these dreams because of that night at the bar?” He asked softly, tucking loose hairs behind your ear. “You know we didn’t see anyone put anything in your drink. No one left at the same time as you but your friends.”

“Now like I said before, just because we didn’t see it on camera… it doesn’t mean that no one slipped something in your drink. Stuff like that unfortunately happens all the time.” He sighed.

“I know.” You nodded, your eyes wet and sad, you knew you weren’t drugged there. You were drugged in the security of your own home. “I know, I think maybe I was just alittle more tipsy than I thought I don’t-“

“Hey, no… it’s okay.” He soothed you. “I believe you.”

“But there was no one who followed you home from the bar. I can say that with 100% certainty okay?” He said sternly.

“Ani but-“

“Look at me.” He said sharply, his voice turning soft again immediately after. “No one followed you home. I watched that video a hundred times over from every angle possible. No one else left the bar until about 17 minutes after you and your friends left.”

“Now don’t get upset baby okay? Listen I know, I know that it scared you shitless.” He said in a pained way, his face not quite matching his tone of voice like he was having a hard time trying to decide how to respond.

“Which is perfectly valid. It’s totally okay to be terrified if you saw something like that.” He soothed you, squeezing your upper arms. “I’m not saying it didn’t happen, I would never say that. If you say that you saw something, I believe you.”

“But, just because you saw it… doesn’t mean that it was truly there. Those kind of drugs can really fuck with your head baby.” He said gently.

“I know.” You sniffled, wiping your eyes and hiding against his chest again.

Gods… this man. He really was one of a kind, not just any man or person in general for that matter, would respond so well to such a strange temporary delusion. Your past boyfriends would’ve run for the hills. But not Anakin. It was clear he wasn’t deterred easily, he was your personal emotional support pet leech.

It was strange, feeling so comfortable like this with someone you hadn’t known for very long. After this conversation you thought maybe it would be okay to tell Anakin the truth about it all. He’d handle it perfectly well wouldn’t he?

But, you can’t risk putting him in harms way. You wouldn’t know if Anakin would be safe without first speaking to Ghost. If Anakin was your pet leech… Ghost was the the neighborhood street dog who’d decided your porch was the safest place to sleep. Who would be heartless enough to kick the poor thing out without a proper meal first?

That’s the problem with strays. Give them a scrap and they’ll love you for life.

Diary Entry: August 14th

Jesus baby I’m sorry. I thought things went well last night, I didn’t mean to make you so upset. I really didn’t. I guess you weren’t ready to see Ghost after all.

That’s my fault, I apologize. I should have known better.

It’s just… you seemed kind of excited for it you know? I thought we had a good time. Was the stripping down in front of me what freaked you out so much? Or seeing the pictures? I shouldn’t have done that. I really shouldn’t have, that was too far, too fast.

I see now that I made a mistake and I plan to rectify it as soon as possible. I’m going to give you a choice, one that I really don’t want to give you. But I will for the sake of your sanity.

I’ve been selfish for too long.

I’ve not truly considered your feelings on the situation, I’ve taken your response at face value and never attempted to dig farther than that. It won’t happen again I can assure you of that. Ghost will still be Ghost, but perhaps just a bit more considerate of your opinions and boundaries.

You must understand though, it’s hard to deal with this for me too. I know it’s not fair to compare our separate sides of the situation like this, but it’s true. It’s painful to watch you get so upset over something I’ve done, knowing I can’t really resolve the issue. I don’t know how to help, or fix this.

I’ve dug myself into a hole. A Pit if you will.

How could you ever forgive me now? After all this time that I have been so stupidly self-centered… I imagine it would be unlikely that you could find it in your immensely kind soul to forgive and forget my transgressions.

Maybe not though? I do see you as a godly entity, my own personal deity. If I leave enough at the altar, bow at your feet for long enough, serve you unconditionally… maybe then you would see that I have discovered the error of my ways. You could see that I am truthful in my pursuit of repentance.

Date

August 15th

Anakin drove to the opposite side of the city to purchase your apology gifts from Ghost. He knew well enough that Luke never had a set schedule, Han was always at the gym and you were at book club. There was limited space in time and even smaller proximity of location for him to safely collect the supplies he needed.

If someone saw him buying a dozen red roses and told you about it without his knowledge… well there goes Ghost. It’d be real hard to explain that away.

So he went to the florist, chose the most beautiful bouquet he could find and tucked it away in a large brown bag with tissue paper over the top so he wouldn’t accidentally bruise the petals.

He strolled down the side walk to another small mom and pop store, just to browse through stationary and cards. Ghost needs to be alittle more classy in his opinion. Maybe if his notes are on nice paper and written in plain black ink… that could ease the discomfort of it. It’s probably not super welcoming to find a ripped scrap of paper with red ink scrawled on it now that he’s come to think of it.

It was amusing to him before, but after your display of emotion, he’s feeling guilty. Very, very guilty. There was no reason to go the extra mile on stupid little things like that.

So, pretty grey paper and matching envelopes join the bouquet.

Now he just has to find something else. It can’t be chocolate or something generic. It has to be something meaningful. Something thoughtful to solidify the sentiment behind his offer for you. Something that will push you to make the right decision.

——————————————————————————

Anakin walked into your apartment, and went straight to your bedroom, it was time for Ghost to set up his apology present.

The big red bouquet was carefully placed in the center of your bed along with the pretty stationary propped against it. Your name carefully and neatly written in **black ink** on the envelope.

Your other gift, had turned into two. A small black box accompanying a short and squat black gift bag with grey tissue paper.

He was proud of his staged display, so proud that he couldn’t wait for you to see it. He was itching for you to get home, he needed to know what you’d choose. He was dying to see your pretty face light up with joy at his thoughtfulness.

So against his better judgement, he snapped a picture of himself standing at your bedside. The photo taken from a high angle to capture just the corner of your red rose bouquet, with himself taking up majority of the frame. His mask tilted to the side and his free hand held up a gloved peace sign.

He’d wait to send it.

He wanted to see your face when the message came through.

Anakin was prepared to be patient, but he didn’t have to be patient for long. He got the notification that there was movement out front of the building, he pulled up the live feed from the stairwell camera on his laptop and excitedly jolted up out of his seat before sitting back down quickly to scoot his seat back up to the table.

He rubbed his hands together and practically combusted from the inside when he confirmed it was you. His fingers moved quickly to send the text message and just as he thought you would, you paused and pulled your phone from your hoodie pocket.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, a bit of panic and maybe a bit of excitement. But mostly, Anakin was saddened to see fear. You were scared, but so brave as he watched you sprint up the steps. He shook his head and let out a deep breath, pulling up the split screen of all the cameras in your home.

You burst through the front door and slammed it shut, tossing your bag aside. Anakin turned up the volume just a bit and immediately realized that was a mistake because you yelled directly underneath the kitchen camera. The audio crackled as you shouted out for Ghost, Anakin realized then that you must think he’s still inside your home.

‘Just missed me.’ He texted quickly, watching you check your phone quickly and let out a sigh of relief as you muttered under your breath.

He thought you might text back, but why would you when you knew he was watching at that very moment?

“Hey!” You said, spinning in place, your eyes darting around to scan the room. “Where did you go? I didn’t see you!”

You rushed over to the living room window and down to the alley below, then up the fire escape, your gaze traveling over to the next building’s roof.

‘You won’t see me unless I want you to.’ He texted back.

“Jesus.” You muttered, rubbing your wrist anxiously. “I guess you want me to go to my room huh?”

‘Yes please.’

“Fine.” You sighed, kicking off your shoes as you walked over to the bedroom door, flinging it open quickly just incase he was still hiding out.

Your eyes drew to the center of your bed, the roses, the bag and box, the envelope. If the situation weren’t so strange you might consider this a romantic gesture. But it’s not, it’s not romantic and you shouldn’t want to open the gifts and sniff the pretty, sweet smelling flowers. You should want to call the police and have them haul the shit off for evidence.

“What’s all this for?” You asked alittle quieter than before, holding up your phone to read the text as it came through almost instantly as you knew that it would.

‘Letter.’

“Letter? That’s all?” You scoffed, “you did all this for a letter?”

‘It’s important.’ The response came quickly, followed by a second in rapid succession. ‘Gifts first.’

“Okay… alright. Gifts first.” You sighed, pulling your hand back from where it was inches away from the grey envelope.

The small box seemed like a good first thing to open, easy enough to snap shut if you didn’t like what you saw inside. Tentatively shifting the lid back and forth you wiggled it free and lifted the small square of padding to reveal a very nice, very ornate, obviously hand crafted hair-pin with a silver rod for the pin.

You gingerly lifted it from the box and held it in your hand to examine it, walking over to the window to open the curtains and see it more clearly. Smooth, black ceramic, gorgeously curved and curled silver fittings. But the most intriguing, the most breathtaking part of it, was the delicate lines and the daintily carved cameo in the center of the ceramic oval.

A woman standing under a willow, with a fawn at her feet.

You wanted to hate it, but how could you hate something so beautiful? How could you pretend to be unappreciative of something that clearly took time and effort to find, it wasn’t just vintage, it was antique. The fact that he’d searched for and seized the jewelry was a feat in itself.

You gingerly laid it back in its box, almost too afraid to hold it. Afraid of its fragility, afraid of what it stood for, how it made you feel. The tiny claws of emotion ripping at your throat stole your voice, you could only hope that Ghost couldn’t see your face from where you were standing or he would clearly see what he’d stirred up inside you.

You picked up the small bag and lifted the tissue paper gently, hoping it wasn’t another emotionally draining surprise.

It wasn’t draining, but it sure as hell was a surprise.

“What’s this?” You snorted, turning the bag over and dumping out a few cat toys.

You waited, checking your phone periodically but got no response. You knew he was still watching, so why wasn’t he answering? Sighing you shook your head and opted to take a look at the toys.

A felt kicker toy shaped as a bloody knife. A couple of fluffy spiders, eyeballs with bells inside, and a little vampire bat that was almost too cute to be a cat toy.

“Thanks.” You said quietly.

It was infuriating how well he knew you, he knew how to crawl into your brain and make you want more. How could you not when he did things like this? Thoughtful, well planned gifts, including your pet too. He knew that your cat was your baby and he’d taken the time to befriend her, cared about her enough to buy her things.

It made it all the more irritating that his choice of toys was just alittle funny. But you’d die before you admit that seeing the knife made you crack a grin.

Finally you decided it was time to open the envelope, as soon as you did, you understood why he’d asked you to open the gifts first.

LETTER

Little Doe,

I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. The hurt I saw, the words heard… I felt it in my soul when I watched you crumble.

My purpose is to love you, my job is to keep you safe, my goal is to make you happy. I’m only doing one of those things, it’s selfish of me to love you the way that I do. I know that.

What I’ve done is wrong, I’m aware. I can’t justify or explain it to you. Just know that the long and short of it is love, it’s not a normal love, but it’s mine and I’m giving it all to you.

There’s no way you’d understand the lengths I’d go to, the things I would do for you. You’d never comprehend how deeply I adore you. That’s okay. It’s hard for me to understand myself too.

The hairpin, it’s the goddess of the hunt and her fawn. I thought considering it all, it would be more than suitable for our situation.

You’re a saint, a deity, someone worth the labors of worship.

Goddesses aren’t meant to be touched, held, loved corporally. They’re meant to be imagined, a comforting presence that you feel all around you, bowed to in hopes of receiving grace. I’ve tried to go beyond the altar to reach you and for that I’m truly sorry.

Please, please take my offerings.

I love you, I need you, but I don’t deserve you. No one deserves attention from the heavens, especially not me. But if you are listening, if you’re willing, I’ll try my best to be the perfect follower.

So I’ll ask for a boon from my goddess:

Grant me passage on the road to repentance, or take my hand to walk through the valley.

You sat on your bed in silence for a long while, your cat coming to join you and accept the gifts left for her excitedly. It brought you a moment of peace to watch her waller around and smack the eyeballs across the floor.

So the overwhelming weight of the thin grey sheet of paper in your hand felt even heavier when she scampered off with her brand new bag toy hanging from her mouth like a fresh kill. She’d left you alone and undistracted again. Just you, your thoughts, and the suffocating silence surrounding you, the creeping tingle on your neck that told you he was still watching the cameras.

He was waiting.

So you sighed and crawled off the bed with your bouquet in tow, cutting the stems into the kitchen trash can and filling a glass vase with water to display them on the counter.

The grey paper followed you from room to room, seat to seat, from one hand to the other as you read it over and over. You could recite it by memory, it was burned into your retinas, you could still feel the indents of his pen on the paper long after you’d sat it aside, the smell of the paper dye singed your nostrils and didn’t leave even after your shower.

You thought you could clean yourself, wash your hands of the problem both literally and metaphorically.

No amount of scrubbing could rinse your brain well enough to wash away the thousands of jumbled words swirling around. You’d been trying to formulate one, just one, coherent sentence for a response. But each time you made progress, you changed your mind on the decision, you scrapped the idea, sent it to the shredder and recycled it into a slightly different, just as illegible mess.

He’s giving you an out. Take it.

Who cares if he still watches you? He won’t interfere. He won’t show up for visits, he won’t leave you gifts or notes.

He’d left you with an offering. A little piece of himself in exchange for your so called ‘divine intervention’. He was asking for the hand of god to stir the pot and serve it too. At least, that’s how he saw it.

For you it was just an awkward toss up of a bunch of jumbled pros and cons.

On one hand he was offering you freedom. Opening the bird cage and giving you the option to escape but clipping your wings, ensuring you can’t go too far.

He’d still watch, just not make an appearance… keep himself hidden like before.

This would also solidify Anakin’s safety, which you valued highly. You’d be free to have your beautiful blossoming relationship, without the worry and stress from the Ghost that haunts your apartment.

On the other hand he gave you the choice to join him in some capacity. To walk through the valley with him; would he walk two steps behind? Two in front? Or side-by-side?

It’d give you the opportunity to explore this stranger you’ve discovered living inside your mind and body. That weird itch that only Ghost can scratch, the thought of him alone just doesn’t do it for you anymore.

You’d have the chance to see who is under that mask and that was more intriguing than anything. You felt like the more you spoke to him, the more you watched him in person… maybe you’d be able to narrow it down to a few people. That might be worth the risks that come with allowing him to continue visiting.

So, you swallowed your fear and closed your eyes. A few silent moments later you spoke aloud, assuming Ghost was still listening.

“I’ll walk with you.” You said slowly, tasting the words as they left your lips. “On two conditions.”

‘What are they, deer?’ His response came instantaneously.

“You leave my friends and family alone. You swear on your life they’re safe and that includes Anakin. I mean it, I’m not fucking around about it okay?” You said confidently. “I already feel guilty enough, don’t make it worse for me.”

‘Guilty?’

“Yes guilty! I have a boyfriend, who I really, really like.” You said, feeling exhausted from the complexity of your choice. “This isn’t fair to him!”

“But it’s… it’s not fair to me either!” You said frustratedly as you blew out a long breath of air through pursed lips. “I deserve to know who you are! You’ve been watching me for god knows how long and I haven’t even heard your real voice.”

“And… and it’s not fair for you either.” You admitted quietly.

‘Why?’

“You’ve been… mostly harmless. Kind.” You confessed, considering saying more, much more. “You’ve been helpful. Despite everything you’ve done, you obviously care about me. I can’t ignore that especially now.”

‘Mostly harmless??’

‘Why ‘especially’ now?’

“You’re joking right?” You snorted in disbelief, shaking your head and trying to stifle a laugh of indignation. “You… well I mean it feels wrong to call it what it is. But- you.. you know what you did!” You crossed your arms frustratedly.

‘Ah… the extracurriculars.’

“Sure if that’s what you want to call it.” An expression of, strangely enough, amusement, crossed over your features. “What it is… well you know what it is.” You sighed.

“But for some reason… I don’t want to call it that.” You said quietly.

‘Hm. I’ll remember that.’

“I’m sure you will.” You huffed in spite of yourself, because if you were honest you’d be telling him you liked it. Your body liked it, your brain liked it, asleep or not, he’d affected you in ways you were unsure you could get with anyone else. Including your sweet and precious boyfriend, he’s too tender and loving.

“Second condition: you promise me that you’ll eventually tell me who you are.” You said firmly. “I deserve to know.”

‘I accept.’

“Okay then.” You sighed with relief and a bit of resignation. “You still have to warn me if you’re gonna be coming to visit though!”

‘Yes ma’am.’

“Ew. Add that to the list. Never call me ma’am again.” You snorted and it rolled into a full laugh when you finally looked up and caught your own gaze in your bedroom mirror. You were sitting in your room alone, speaking aloud, having a fully fleshed, seemingly one-sided conversation.

If anyone were to walk in on this scene playing out, they’d think you’ve lost your mind.

Maybe you already have.

Part Ten

The pendant that inspired the hairpin! I forgot to add it in sorryyyyyy

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[thatnonameuser]

Me have thoughts of feral darling, whose so chaotic no one would have thought they’re darling to begin with.

Like, when they found out yanderes can openly kill people, they’re weirded out but they’re okay. During Vargas camp, they hunted a boat and kill e a bear by ripping out they’re throat and no one batter an eye at it

Some people might call you crazy. The actual term is feral or unhinged, but you don’t think that’s the right word for you. You just think you have a lot of energy, energy that has to be let out or you feel suffocated, and your chosen method is with your fists……or your teeth………preferably with them going through skin and letting out blood. 

Honestly, they just didn’t get you. But this place did. Coming here was great learning that you could kill people. In fact, your first thought was, “oh cool, I don’t have to hide the bodies anymore!” 

The yandere/darling junk didn’t make any sense to you. In fact it was a little strange, but hey, you could stab someone in the eye without getting expelled here, so you’d just bear with it. Besides, it was great to be free from the boring world you’re from. At least this world understands the romanticness of a snake twisted in a heart shaped balloon animal. Your last crush didn’t. 

Being normal is boring. And you’re not boring. You’re just a wee bit crazy, not too much though. And it’s super helpful here!

Like when Crowley’s food budget ran out, you went and hunted a deer, coming back bloody and with the creature gutted and portioned for your troubles with nothing but a rusty old fork or when some delinquents tried to pick on you, and you broke their ribs….. Out of their bodies…. And beat them with said ribs.

Sure you got a few funny looks from your new friends but they never hated you. At least you think, you didn’t know for sure. If you bite them, stab them, or break their limbs they still like you! You hope there’s no side effect

                  *                   *                   *                  *

You being so unhinged is a bit of a shock to some of them.

In the yandereverse, darlings are supposed to be optime of innocence and gentleness, so you being as violent and dangerous as a yandere is a bit strange for them. You probably weren’t diagnosed as a darling, because of how violent you are. But that’s not to say that a lot of them don’t really enjoy it.  

They Enjoy it……Very much.

Despite having been told that darlings are the basically ‘Disney princesses’ their entire life, watching you drink the blood of the boar you just killed with your bare, clawless hands without getting a scratch on you is doing it for them. You want to be so feral that if you were an animal they would put you down for the sake of everyone else, they’d let you give them rabies with your affection bites and they won’t stop you on your rampage.

Cater Diamond - If you’re the idiot doing something stupid, he’s the idiot recording the stupid act to post it in Magicam. Cater doesn’t see any reason to stop you from going about and ripping the world a collective new one. Because if you end up doing something super illegal he has pics of it to blackmail you with. Plus, you look good in red.  

Leona Kingscholar - Well, color him impressed, the herbivore is actually a carnivore unafraid of hiding her fangs and claws. You don’t even have animal instincts and you hunt and kill with the elegance and ferocity of a lioness stalking in the grass, and he loves it. But no matter how much you snarl and snap at him with your dull little fangs, he’s still at the top of the food chain. Even if you don't like it, even if you fight with all your might, you’ll never escape him. So get comfy next to him.

Ruggie Bucchi - Oh, You’ll fit right in back home. Watching you rip something to shreds with just your blunt nails and teeth excites him. Now he doesn’t have to worry about you getting culture shock when you abruptly and unwillingly join him in the slums. After all, he doubts you’d be used to watching them gutting animals while they’re still alive. Plus, now he won’t have to worry about you starving, seeing how well you can care for yourself. 

Floyd Leech - We all saw this coming. To Floyd, you match his vibe perfectly. And he loves it.  Floyd loves the idea of you being as feral as he is. You’ll both be spending the TWST-version of Valentine’s Day squeezing and drowning people and that’s perfect  to him. The one thing Floyd doesn’t want from his darling is for her to become boring, i.e. to have her will broken, so you being feral and fighting him tooth, nail,  and eventually fin, unafraid of drawing blood and killing him, excites him. 

Rook Hunt - Once again, we all saw this coming. You are truly a creature worthy of eternal worship.You are the feral beast and he is the expert hunter destined to capture and tame your bloodthirst. He’s destined to cage and trap you, and your expertise in hunting and killing will make you a powerful beast to capture and claim. And he will adore your ferocity as he tries to capture you. Along with your scratches, bites and slashes. You could stab out his eye and he’d see your extraordinary beauty through all the blood and viscous humor. 

Epel Felmier - A former misdiagnosed darling with feral behaviour and hatred for being considered ‘cute’, you couldn’t be any more perfect for him. His past problems with cuteness made him think darlings could in no way be as feral and violent as you are. Now that you’ve proven him wrong, he’ll happily join you on all your messy and bloody escapades. He’ll try sometimes to take over for you, wanting to beat your victim to death for you and earn the praise only you can give him. 

Malleus Draconia - He can never stop loving you. You could stab in the chest with an iron dagger and he’ll never let the scar heal out of his obsessive love for you. He’ll take every stab wound, slash and cut with a smile on his face and treasure the scar that appears. As a dragon prepared to burn the world to the ground simply because you asked him to, he’ll love your ferality to his very core, and he won’t worry about you getting hurt because if someone does they’ll never find their remains. 

They tolerate it. Sort of.

They don’t hate the idea of you being feral. They’re used to seeing you covered in blood and dirt from your…… ‘spirited’ escapades, and have seen the victims of your fun/wrath, and while they don’t care for your increasing bloodthirst, they’ll help you hid the bodies and give you a bath to clean off all the blood. And yes, you can bite them but after you get your shots. 

Trey Clover - As the loving partner he is, he’ll dress your wounds, clean you up and cook whatever you hunted for dinner, even if he dislikes seeing you focus your attention on inflicting pain and bloodshed onto others instead of loving him. He’s not going to take away your fun, just yet. But, he’ll be sure to poison your hunting feasts with something to keep you lethargic if you tend to spend too much time away from him, plus your fighting skills will be tamed as well to keep you from trying to resist him or run away. 

Jack Howl - Unlike the aforementioned beastmen, Jack sees the way you act as something he’ll tolerate out of his love of you rather than something he adores about you. Mostly because he worries about the danger you constantly throw yourself in. But he can tolerate it, because maybe you can make a date of him making sure you don’t die or commit any major crimes while you make whatever primordial being out there cry. Besides, learning your habits prevents you from running off.

Jamil Viper - As long as you don’t come home with bugs, in any and every way, he’ll let you do whatever. You want to wrestle a poisonous viper, well you do that with him every other day and he’ll get the anti-venom ready. He doesn’t mind your bloodthirst. Mostly because you’re not as brain dead as Kalim, so you’re not going to kill yourself trying to fight something. And besides, he’s dealt with Kalim’s shenanigans, yours are just more bloody and he actually cares about you, so he’ll just make sure to have soaps and oils ready to clean you up after you decided to have a fight with some vultures over some carrion.

Silver - He’s a little conflicted. As a very ‘princely yandere’, he’s trying to protect and love you like the princess you are, which is kind of hard when you’re the kind of princess that skins the dragon to make a pair of boots. He’s not upset about it, he could never be. He’s just concerned that you might get hurt. Or worse. But while he may be hesitant to your rampages, he’ll wield a blade to keep you from getting hurt while you terrify everything with legs. And while he’d like you not to harm the animals that surround him, as long as you don’t try to use your ‘skills’ to run away, he’ll be fine butchering your hunts for dinner. 

They don’t like it. They really don’t like it. 

It’s not that you are constantly killing things for the fun of it, or that you’re constantly throwing yourself in danger, or coming home covered in enough blood to make a veteran surgeon throw up. They’re just not a fan. Maybe it’s because they don’t want you killing people, or because they’re worried about you potentially pissing off the wrong person and getting injured, but they really don’t like it. That’s not to say that they will stop your affectionate nimbles, just stop trying to kill things. 

Riddle Rosehearts - Riddle has researched and understood that you having hobbies is healthy for a darling’s mental health…. But that doesn’t stop him from hating it. You’re not supposed to be running off to scare the daylights out of whoever tickles your fancy, you’re supposed to be in his care, showering him with the same love and affection he shows you. Riddle thinks that darlings aren’t supposed to be hurting or killing things, because he’s under the belief that the ‘helplessness’ darlings have is what’s best for them. So he really doesn’t like your behavior. (Not to mention it reminds him too much of Floyd)

Azul Ashengrotto - Azul’s insecurity towards his ‘yandere’-ness makes him not like your ferality. You being so capable of protecting yourself without him, or even resisting him physically makes those painful thoughts creep back in. Additionally the idea that you could get yourself killed while he is basically helpless could drive him to overblot again. He knows how to handle it a little, growing up with Floyd would do that to you, but he’d rather bind you to a contract for all eternity to make sure you don’t behave like this again. 

Vil Schoenheit - Vil has a reputation to maintain. And he can’t exactly do that when your hobbies include terrifying the local wildlife, scaring off the paparazzi (he would be fine with it, if you weren’t having your reputation slandered to), and making his assistants’ life a living hell. So he’s going to do what he did with Rook, and ‘tame’ you till your disturbing hobbies are at the ‘PR-team can handle this somewhat’ degree. While he does love all of you, get used to paralysis and chains and muzzles, for when you decide to be difficult. 

Sebek Zigvolt - Unlike his fellow countryman, Sebek is a traditionalist. A traditionalist from the Briar Valley which views darlings as helpless as a sleeping princess lying in a thorny palace. So your feral nature hits him in the face like whiplash, because your behaviour on a darling is very not okay! Yes, he does deeply appreciate your love bites but your violent nature isn’t fine, it’s unnatural and he’s concerned that you might get yourself hurt, killed or worse, because of your violent nature. 

Other. 

Their feelings are separate from the others, unique in their own right.

Ace Trappola - Ace is observant enough to realise that if he tries to smother your chaotic ways, he’ll likely end up with a broken nose at best and something indescribably painful at worst. Plus given the fact that you tend to get involved with chaos regardless of whether you want to or not. So instead, he just embraces it. Either way, he’s still going to be completely obsessed with you. 

Deuce Spade - He’s a little conflicted here. Because he’s trying to be an honor student, he doesn’t want to show off the side that you’d probably like throwing punches at anyone who looks at you funny. But because he knows that you might really like that side of him, he might show it off more. He can still be an honour student in between kicking the asses of whoever you'd like. He just wants to make you happy with him. 

Jade Leech - Jade is conflicted about this. While he does see your desire to be free to hunt and kill at your leisure as an enticing method of controlling you, (i.e. restricting your hunting and killing as rewards for when you do what he wants), he sees it equally as a threat. While dealing with Floyd taught him how to deal with you, he can see your viciousness and mood swings as a threat to his end goal, knowing that you might fight very hard to resist him if he pushes too far. 

Kalim Al-Asim - Kalim will always love you regardless of how much blood you spill and how many times you try to break his arms for chaining you down. He doesn’t particularly love your brutality specifically, he loves you and everything about you so that’s just a plus, but he isn’t happy, indifferent or upset about it. He just loves you regardless. He might enable it, (Kalim may start the purge for you because you want to hunt and kill things), but whether you’re feral or a shy pacifist he’ll always love you.

Idia Shroud - Idia’s kind of scared of you. He’s used to normies being weirdos, he’s not used to a darling rivalling Ares in brutality. He’s seen you beat one of the STYX droids to scrap metal, imagine what you’d do to him. But also, imagine what you’d do to him! Idia has two feelings towards this. A. you are terrifying and B. you are terrifying and he’s turned on for some reason. Please try to kill him, he’d be fine dying if you did it.

As for the platonic yanderes…….

Ortho Shroud - How Ortho feels about this depends on how Idia feels about it. He knows that while his brother is terrified, he’s equally ‘intrigued’ . So if that is what onii-chan wants then, he’s fine with you being as chaotic as you are. Ortho doesn’t mind your borderline murderous demeanor, even though you ripped one of his arms off to beat someone with. After all, you’re happy and it makes Onii-chan happy then he’s happy. 

Lilia Vanrouge - As a chaotic person himself, how Lilia reacts is dependent on the reactions of Malleus and Silver. He personally doesn’t mind it BUT if Malleus or Silver show any signs of disliking it, then expect him to step in to snuff it out posthaste. 

Divus Crewel - If his hair wasn’t already partially white, it would be turning grey from your shenanigans. A feral pup is a pup to be worried about, and he’s constantly afraid of you being put down by a larger dog. While he appreciates the dead animals you leave on his desk as ‘gifts’ and the chaos you bring being the perfect deterrent for the horny mutts trying to mate with you, he constantly has to keep you on a tight leash to prevent you from getting yourself killed. 

Mozus Trein - Similarly to Crewel, he’s a disappointed and exasperated grandfather when it comes to your day-to-day chaos. Yes, he is glad that he doesn’t have to worry about you defending or looking after yourself (Lucius leaves him less dead birds than you do), but he’s very not comfortable with your constant, dangerous adventures. Though he’s glad his class bores you so much that he doesn’t have to worry about you raising hell when you’re snoring away because of his lecture. 

Ashton Vargas - As the Cool and Best Uncle, his words not yours, Coach Vargas encourages your chaotic nature. You want to go and put the fear of god into every creature you see for the complete fun of it, he’ll make sure you’re the strongest little hellspawn out there. Vargas Camp wasn’t just to hunt down the students just for fun, but for you to get your kicks (and bites) in. What’s a better uncle-niece activity but hunting down the students that make you mad? Sam - Like dear Uncle Vargas, Sam is the enabler, providing you with whatever tools or curses you need to make someone else’s life more difficult. In a way, his nickname for you is actually accurate because of all your mischievous ways. Sam doesn’t worry about you going missing on all your escapades, his friends on the other side keep an eye on you when he can’t.

Hope you enjoyed this!

[kedreeva]

Any bird artists/graphic designers/photo-editors out there that might be willing to make a logo and/or a merch design for our local small game bird association, after the new year?

Story below the cut if you want more info

I'm currently in the process of taking over my state game bird association's website stuff, to help them recover after incredibly bad leadership did their level best to wreck it entirely. It's a "State" association, in that it's for people in this state but isn't run by the state, it's just like. a few people who like game birds who have made nonprofit (like an actual 501(c)) club for other people that like game birds. There's less than 100 members in it according to the registry I saw, to give you an idea what it's like. I'm dealing with one 70+ year old lady, one Older Mom (who isn't even in the association anymore) that helped transfer stuff out of her name, and one Other Lady (who is apparently the sister of one of the hospital board members, but who lacks her sister's desire to watch the world burn I guess) that I've only had phone conversations with so far. I've so far been able to get their website under control and I'm working on getting their facebook back into their hands (it's still being held hostage by a hostile board member they're trying to get rid of), and to try to help them all limp into being a functional association again, like it was when I first started interacting with it 20 years ago.

That being said, in the transfer of the site, the previous site is 100% lost, including all old graphics. No one still in the association has any of the old graphics saved. That's fine, they were.... terrible. Like, this is an old preview pic of the site banner

Truly terrible. So, not gonna lie, kinda glad it's gone forever.

There is an OLDER banner, from before dickhead mcfuckface took over the association, and it's "better" but it's very clearly got an 80s vibe like you would not believe

But, the old lady that is running the association now asked me about having a header on the front page, so here I am. I told her that there were a TON of talented artists that would be happy to be paid (all of the following would be PAID work, if the association can afford it and if not they will just do without, I was VERY clear about needing to pay artists for work) to design a logo and/or some kind of graphic designer that could help with a little banner for the website. She also asked me about selling t-shirts and hats, since some people at the swaps have asked for them. I told her that a nice looking logo would be a good start for that kind of thing, but that I could ask around and see if anyone wanted to draw a game bird design to sell at their bake sale table or maybe redbubble or something similar so people can just get what they want.

I'm sorry that this is vague, but beyond the logo/site header, I'm not sure exactly what they are going to want, just that they are going to want An Artist Or Three. You'd be dealing with me once I've wrangled them into telling me what they exactly want for anything outside the website.

As for the website, I actually don't mind the basic design of the second banner (the 80's one, a rectangle, circle badge logo in the middle, game animals to either side), and I think it would be good to bring back that general feel, but cleaner and brighter on colors, and different animals. The club does not really deal with deer or raccoons regularly, and pheasants are not the only game birds. I was thinking maybe just doing birds on both sides. Peacocks, pheasant, chicken, turkey, ducks, quail, and dove(s) are the most common at swap meets, so some combo of those would be nice (doesn't need to have all of them), as that's what members will mostly be raising.

If that's something you feel you might be interested in, and can provide your pricing & an example of your style so I can bring it to them and tell them I want them to pay you to give me things for the site and/or association at large.

For the laughs, here is what I "mocked up" for them as an idea

But they also liked the idea of a plain badge logo like this one (because they don't live and breathe peafowl I assume, it's the only explanation)

anyway. if you have the art skills and wanna help a bird nerd group out, please let me know!

[ingravinoveritas]

Is it sad that I immediately thought of AL when I saw this? I don’t know if it’s the fact that the 3rd year of my husband’s passing is quickly approaching, or what, but it infuriates me how AL treats Michael.

Hi there! Still playing catch up on Asks here, but first my most heartfelt condolences on the loss of your husband. To lose someone you love dearly must be incredibly painful, and especially near to the date of their passing. I'm so sorry.

As for your question, it's both sad and not sad at all that you thought of AL, because I actually had someone send me this exact cartoon just days before I got your Ask, also in reference to her. So you are definitely not the only one who had that thought, it seems.

I'm grouping your Ask along with the one from @phantomstars24 because today we got another new post from AL on Instagram that merited discussion. Probably everyone has seen it by now, but for those who haven't, the post contains a cute picture of Michael with a puppy:

But when we look at AL's caption on the post, that is where things take somewhat of a turn:

The caption seems to be referencing what is in the pictures she posted, but one word in particular stands out: "Trolls." In the pictures, we see deer, the girls, other family members, puppies. But if you Google pictures of "Scandinavian trolls," this is what they traditionally look like:

So if we consider those images and then think of AL's pictures, the only thing in them that seems to fit this description is Michael, which would mean she is calling him a troll. It's actually not surprising or out of character for her, as it does fit with her long-running pattern of making snarky/mean comments about Michael's looks.

What makes this all even stranger is that Michael went on a tweeting spree on the 8th and 9th (answering a lot of GO-related questions in particular):

And then AL posted an Insta story of him throwing an airplane with the caption of "Family holiday is going well," followed by this reply from her to a fan who shared the video on Twitter (to whom Michael had also replied during his Twitter spree):

To recap: Michael was on a family holiday in Sweden last weekend and spent most of it scrolling on Twitter, for which AL passive-aggressively called him out (suggesting that he was happier/paying far more attention to Twitter than to her), and now she posts the pics from the trip and calls him a troll.

I mean...you can spin things a lot of ways, but this doesn't come across too well from any direction, especially given how she made sure that she looks good in the picture of her (and because I don't think there is any flattering or complimentary way to call someone a "troll," as it's meant to describe something as ugly, unattractive, etc.). However if there is some other meaning or if I'm just reading too much into this, I welcome folks to comment on here with their thoughts, because I'd love to hear other perspectives.

It's ironic, too, that she used the caption "Family holiday is going well" when so much else seems to indicate otherwise. Thinking about Michael in that puppy picture among the other pics in that post, you can see how he just doesn't quite "fit." Not just because he looks different from everyone else (recalling AL's pointed mention of "curly blondes"), but because there is a community there that he is not part of, and for someone like Michael, for whom community is such an important thing, him being a stranger among these folks makes him stand out even more, and for all the wrong reasons.

So yes, I would agree with your assertion @lepqueen of that cartoon being reminiscent of Anna, and I share your sentiment in disliking the way she treats Michael. I just keep thinking of how different the reaction would be if Michael had a history of commenting on her appearance, or if he called her a troll. The uproar would be staggering, I imagine, yet somehow no one blinks an eye when it's her doing it to him. Things that really do make you wonder...

[commenter2]

Scrambled Eggs review

We get to see the Hotel crew interacting without Alastor for a change, while Alastor meets up with some old pals when babysitting the Eggs.

There are Razzle and Dazzle, I was wondering where they were after the first episode.

With this being Hell, Pentious’ paranoia and want to defend himself must be common with the people. Maybe if there were less demons with asshole or perverted personalities we’d see that. Plus if this continues HH and HB is going to become like Family Guy and depend on that kind of stuff for every joke.

We finally got a name for the scientist from the pilot, Odette.

Carmilla Carmine, an Overlord centered on weapons. Her introduction could lead to some interesting fights.

Vaggie is kind of right, just because someone flips you off, doesn’t mean they want you dead. Niffty on the other hand is someone you should always worry about as she will likely want to do more than murder you.

It’s another example of how we wouldn’t have gotten the storyline if it happened, but I’m surprised Charlie or Vaggie (mostly Charlie) didn’t bring up the idea of having the Eggs join as part of the Hotel’s staff. They look like they could try and aid in cleaning and repair.

I also do like that Charlie didn’t, as so far I’ve seen a lot of examples where Vaggie sacrifices more in the relationship, so I’m counting this as an example of Charlie taking Vaggie’s word/side.

They made the famous Alastor pic of him eating deer into an animation!

BTW with his room being part swamp and the writer’s love of making memes, how long before we get a Kermit the Frog joke from this? If the writers ever decide to do that, they should get YouTuber DevilArtemis to help since he knows a lot about Kermit :)

Another change in Al’s voice when he said “that’s a lot less fun”. Now thinking back to the last episode, Vox had something similar going on with his voice so maybe it’s a common trait for sinners like them but I feel like that is a too simple reason for Alastor of all characters.

Another example of Charlie’s reality altering illusions. Did I ever mention who I think she could fight in an episode of Death Battle?

Is Vaggie afraid to lead people? It is an interesting idea but we have seen her doing just that before, though I guess those previous time could be considered “angry outburst/feelings”. I am one of the people who thinks Vaggie is a former Exorcist and if there is the slightest chance that is true, I could see this being a reason why she left. A bit off topic but going back to something I said in my Overture review, this also would have worked for the alternate idea of how it was common for Heaven losing Exorcist every year till now, as maybe they “lost” some because they quit during/after Exterminations.

Technically Husk did catch Angel, so there is trust their but annoy him and he’ll stop helping.

IDK how to describe it, but its nice seeing the fun art style that Angel and Cherri were drawn as in the pilot return for Angel, Husk, and Pentious here.

With the situation you and Hell are in Charlie, any progress should be considered good.

So that guy’s name is Zestial Modre. You think he talks that way because he is chronologically very old, or just for effect as I’m guessing he’s the Overlord of Fear? You think DC Comics/Warner Bros. would be okay with Vivzie if she gave Zestial a power similar to Scarecrow’s fear gas or have his full demon form look similar to Parallax, the emotional entity of Fear? Viv worked with Disney for a bit, so I bet Warner Bros. would be okay if it meant getting one over their rival company.

If you turn on subtitles, one of the Egg Bois is named Frank. I recall it being said that the Eggs are cloned from an original Egg, so could Frank be said original?

Sure Al, nothing suspicious happened during your break.

Not even the Eggs know about the name thing.

An Overlord meeting! 

I recall Zilla being tall, but not THAT tall. Also does any still ship her with that guy she was seen with in the pilot, the one who was laughing at Charlie and said they should leave?

Nearly everyone in Hell has sharped teeth, so how is Rosie any different Frank?

Apparently the VA of Carmilla is also a dancer, fitting given how Carmilla looks like a ballerina. Also as LK Yusei Fudo would say, “what is up with her hair”?

“Older generation vs. never generation” trope. How long before Velvette makes a “okay boomer” joke?

The Exorcist severed head! Didn’t see that coming! 

Now apparently there are theories of Lilith being disguised as Rosie, which I could see, but I do want to point out that she was shocked at the severed Exorcist head. Lilith seems like a kind of actor, so she could have acted being surprised but it’s still something that should be pointed out.

Looks like Zestial agrees with me that it’s possible that something else could have killed the Exorcist. Also that it sounds like he IS very old, maybe even older than Sir Pentious.

I’m wondering if this scene could help later on if there is a future scene where people blame Charlie for moving up the next Extermination, but then Alastor and maybe the other Overlords defend her by revealing the severed head. If it means preventing Charlie from having a “all is hopeless” scene then I hope it does.

It is interesting that the sinners are divided about if they should use the knowledge of knowing Exorcist could be killed to fight back or wait till they either learn more or to not risk having the whole Pride Ring population be wiped out. Both sides make sense but also have their flaws.

Looks like Angel and Cherri have some competition with Zestial and Carmilla for the title of number 1 BFFS.

“Respectless” is my favorite HH song so far. Really love how it switches between opera music and rap.

HOLY CRAP ODETTE AND CARMILLA ARE RELATED!!! THIS is going to be fun and lead to some interesting discussions, like is she (and the other girl Odette is always with) adopted or did Carmilla and the others die and get sent to Hell around the same time?

Again I get that this is an M rated show, but the series is already good enough that I don’t think it always need to rely on extreme violence and NSFW stuff, as it kind of killed the mood after seeing what happened in the next see. Again, Family Guy.

WHY! 

Another example of why the “Vaggie is a former Exorcist” theory could be true.

I bet Vaggie has been dreaming about thrown Angel to his doom XD.

Liking how Charlie said there are other ways to solve things, going back to an older comment about her and Lilith having different views of how to make Hell thrive.

I’m going to count this as Charlie and Vaggie’s first fight, but at least it’s a good one since its just Vaggie being mad at herself of her lack of leadership and Charlie being mad (more annoyed/concerned) of Vaggie unnecessarily blaming herself.

Confirmation that the other girl (named Clara) is also Carmilla’s daughter.

So Carmilla killed the exorcist. OR MAYBE she witnessed who really did and had to promise to not tell or else something bad would really happen to the point being the fall gal would be a slap on the wrist in comparison.

With Carmilla being against fighting Heaven, I wonder if she could become a potential Hell based ally of Charlie’s in the future. They both want to protect the people they care about from Heaven so I don’t see why not.

Vaggie’s line of “There’s so much I wished that I could say”, is ANOTHER possible hint at Vaggie’s Exorcist past.

Another great song, showing how similar Carmilla and Vaggie are, which again could help in making a future alliance between the Hotel and Overlord.

Yeah I shouldn’t be surprised that Alastor is going to keep the Exorcist info hidden, since he loves chaos. Also a possible an ally of that Roo character, who is on my list of possible characters being behind everything.

Again, Charlie and Vaggie are cute!

It’s adorable to see Pen sleep with the eggs like an actual snake.

SEE! THE EGGS CAN LEARN!

“character not realizing the dumb/innocent/etc. character is actually talking about something real and big to the story” trope.

I’m late bringing this up, but does anyone else think there should be end credit segments at the end of SOME episodes? I mean thanks to movies and videogames it is a surprise when there aren’t any, plus it would have been fun in some cases. Maybe they’ll do one for the season finale.

That was great episode! We got Overlords, great songs, hilarity, and some big reveals.

I really like the idea of Carmilla being a mother, as it adds more to the “always serious businesswoman” vibe she gives off. I’m also hoping it leads to pics where her daughters spend time with their “Uncle Zestial”. Speaking of which, he was a good new character to look about, reminds me a lot of Jack Skellington with a pinch of DC’s Scarecrow with his interest in fear.

We also got news about the dead Exorcist and while I’m okay if Carmilla did kill it with a weapon, I still like the idea of how she is taking the blame or else she will suffer by the hands of the true culprit. It also brings up the drama as the Vs could make this worse for everyone if they decide to get people to fight the Exorcist. At least if they do and fail, Charlie will no longer be the target of the sinner’s anger.

Nothing that bad besides that one creepy NSFW scene as it was annoying that it happened after a pretty big scene.Leave your thoughts about the episode below.

[weaselbeaselpants]

K absolutely none of this is connected to her shows and her worker drama it's unrelated; but I'm not gonna lie Viv's Japan vacation where she's showing herself with a bunch of animal cafes is really starting to piss me off.

The deer being fed I think are wild, I don't have anything to say about that. But the owl cafes, the otter cafe, the marine park.

Look here! I'm not anti-captivity, honest (though AZA is hard to trust when they legit have an approval rating on Seaworld), but I really am skeeved out by so-called zoos and attractions that let you pet the animals, kind of especially if they aren't domesticated animals but exotics. Though, tbh even dog/cat pet shelters or whatever sound pretty hectic to eat at. Also, feels a little unsanitary. But even if that weren't a problem I just...kind of don't like anything where the animals are literally tied down and can't escape from you. It's the same reason I and a lot of other people don't like those pony-rides at fairs. The whole time you're worried about the animal's safety and happiness and also you aren't having any real connection to them.

Watching animals in an enclosure that's nice where they're just doing their thing >>> having to pet the animal. Not that I'm immune to propaganda and wouldn't absolutely volunteer to clean up scat if it meant I could hold a weasel being rehabilitated to the wild for a hot minute. I would 100% do that (it'd bite. Don't care). But there's that and then there's me getting to bond with a weasel that's shock collared or chained somehow and can't escape from me. That doesn't sit right.

And no. I don't care if it's in another country it's still wrong by a lot of global standards. In fact, I think it's kind of weird that people are doing the "respect other cultures"-thing only when it comes to Instagramable stories.

Ya'll have to realize it's not just yuppie American vegangelicals complaining. There are animal rights orgs in Thailand fighting elephant tourism, there ARE animal rights orgs in Japan and they do not like the animal cafes. Animal rights/welfare aren't some kind of 'annoying' American pastime. Why do you think Milo and Otis was controversial? Why do you think Padak exists? Respecting other cultures and their practices means: letting indigenous people hunt the animals they've been hunting for thousands of years, which of course isn't always going to be pretty cause that's what traditional hunting IS; it's allowing ritual animal slaughter in spaces and religions where that's done to feed the community and not as torture or sacrifice. And personally, as a mostly vegetarian, I say right on to both of those things.

Zoos, farms, petting zoos, aquariums and sanctuaries are YMMV, but I vouch for them in theory and usually in practice. Animal cafes and marine parks? I'm sorry but I can't not see those as being tourism and exploitive at best. Especially marine parks.

Viv straight up did a pic based on Blackfish but I guess that doesn't matter in Japan. I'm really disappointed in her as someone who loves animals. Because hey- when you as a human-animal love the other creatures of this earth, of course things like our rights come first. Humans are just that kind of animal and I don't think there's anything wrong with taxidermy or vulture culture. But, especially as an adult, you should know how to take care of animals and it should be your responsibility as their caretaker to give them the best care you have.

There's a petshop near where I (no longer in a few weeks) work. It used to hate that place cause I saw a rat eating another rat's baby alive among other abuses and the owner straight up didn't give a shit, not about the rat or that he was putting smaller reptiles in cages with monitor lizards. You can guess how that ended.

That place has new owners now. It mostly has animals there in transition. While they still have feeders (I know, that's prolly controversial to the reptile parents reading), their conditions have really improved. No crowding the rats, even the feeders, in unsafe unventilated places. They get REALLY mad if you tap the glass on the cages. No more keeping lovebirds apart from birds so that they're always calling. Betafish males get actual decorated tanks to themselves instead of those depressing bowls! If petstores and units where you pick up your expensive reptiles, fish and birds from HAVE to exist, I'd rather they be places like this. Places where the staff are trying and really do seem to love and want the best for their animals while expecting nothing fancy from the animals in return.

I'd love to be proven wrong on this- I remember seeing a yt vid for a bed and breakfast where you ate outside with the cows that made the dairy you're eating, and them being cows they of course wanted to come up and say hi to the guests. Of course I'd love that '' magical '' experience with an animal while I'm enjoying my coffee. But I just can't trust cafes and exotic petting zoos like this. My family has veterinarians, farmers, vegans and vegetarians, and FFA graduates in it. I'm just really concerned about the little things like this.

I know in my heart that of course Viv doesn't want to hurt any animals- but it bothers me.

Thoughts @chaifootsteps @derangedhyena-delphinidae?

[beccalendsahand]

“I-I killed him”

Inej stood there, eyes fixed on the bloody knife in her hands, hands trembling.

Kaz knew he had to do something. Move toward her, lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, tell her it was going to be alright. But that was not who he was, that was not who they were. 

If it were a trick, I’d promise you safety. I’d offer you happiness. I don’t know if that exists in the Barrel, but you’ll find none of it with me. 

One of the first things he’d said to her when he’d offered her this job. She knew what she was getting into, she knew she would have to use her knives eventually, but still, he couldn’t help but feel sorrow for her. Inej was brave and defiant, never faltering in her beliefs. As much as he scoffed and mocked her for her faith, although he hated to admit it, he admired her for it. Despite everything she had been through she still believed. Long ago perhaps there had been a chance of that for him too. But no, in his darkest hours, it was not the hand of any saint that reached out to him, but the dark promise of vengeance that pulled him from those murky waters. Inej though, she had resisted that voice at every turn, even with the sharpest set of knives in Ketterdam strapped to her chest she had never brought down the hand of judgment to make the killing cut. I won’t betray my faith She had told him. But tonight she had, in a church, under the eyes of the saints she held so dear, she had turned from them, for him. Any second later he would have been dead, head smashed against the cold stone tiles. With the choice between his life and eternal damnation, she had chosen him. He stared at her hands, they were loose on the blade, ready to fall from her hands at any moment, the last thing they needed was more noise to draw the Stadwatch to their location. 

“Inej listen to me.”

She did not look up. Eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. He wanted to take his hand and move her face towards his, force her out of this spell, make her look into his eyes and let her know she was safe. But that was an impossibility he was not ready to challenge. Instead, he repeated her name, insistently this time “Inej.” 

Her eyes finally broke free and met his own. Brown irises shining in the candlelight. His mouth went dry.

“You saved me life.” He managed to get out, stressing every single word to make her know that whatever guilt she was feeling right now, she did not need to ask her saints for forgiveness, and that… He didn’t know what this feeling was? Was he grateful, indebted? He felt the warm glow of something inside his chest. He pushed it away. 

He looked at her hands again, still shaking. They were so small, so soft. He wondered for the first time what it would feel like to hold them in his own. He reached out a gloved hand, it hovered there, just above hers, one more step, his mind went blank. What did he want to do? What was meant to happen now? He was so close he could feel her stuttering breaths on his neck, could feel her eyes looking up at him through her lashes. She was waiting too, a silent understanding. His hand brushed the tops of her knuckles, the waves rushed in. He couldn’t breathe. He was drowning. It was no use.  He could never be that person. Never be the man she deserved. Instead, he carefully took the hilt of the blade, and coaxed the knife from her frightened fingertips. It was better this way.

---------------------------------------------

Hello!

No time no see! 1 day till season 2 of shadow and bone!! I'm going to leave social media for a bit so that I can enjoy the new season spoiler free. But before that I thought I'd share with you something I did back in december! I see this pic of Yuzuka Rei and Hana Yuuki in Augustus the other day and thought "That's so kanej core" and decided to draw it but with kaz and inej instead! And then after finishing it i was so wrapped up in kanej feelings that I word vomitted this up at 2am, don't think I've written fanfic in 10 years! Thats the kanej power... The scene is inspired by the classic scene in the tv show mixed with my feelings from the books. Ahhh I love them so much! Can't wait for season 2! See you all on the other side!

[elecman108]

Merry Chrysler, from my idiot collection to yours!

Did this take me from starting on Nov. 1st to now to complete? Maybe. Can I not sleep so thus I am posting this at 4am my time? Perhaps.

Below the cut is a closer look at the outfits because they look SO good.

--

You've entered into the cut, and now you get to see the dumb shit.

The first set of OCs in stupid Christmas Costumes! From left to right: Ziradoe, Honey, my Sona Ender, Axel, Ranran, Nash, Vic, Mona, Lana, Ildan, Mask, and Blaze. As you can probably tell, some of the sizing is off for some of them - Honey is too short, Ranran is far too tiny, Lana is a bit tall, etc. - because as I made this in short bursts, the ones I was making were all proportionate to each other, but not proportionate to the others I had made previously. Whoops. Either way, the funniest one of this group is Ziradoe as a Deer, and my favourite here has to be tied between Honey, Blaze, and Vic's outfits. Honey looks so cozy, Blaze's fireball bauble on his Santa Hat is awesome, and Vic just always looks cool and classy in any outfit she wears.

The second group of OCs in Christmas Gear! From left to right: Melia, Mangle, Theo, Katlynn, Yune, Cecillia, Jade, Lutelei, Golden Shadows, Alren, Jasmine, and Lailah. In this set, you can see my previous Christmas Group Pic getting revamped for sure, with Cecillia looking much better than she did previously, and Theo losing the odd messenger bag I had added to his look that ultimately was scrapped as one of his main items. You can also see more new OCs - Yune, Jade, etc. - being added in with old ones I previously didn't give a spotlight to - Jasmine, Lutelei, Katlynn, etc. - and all in all they all are adorable. My favourite here is Jade, hands-down. I love her design and her little deer costume, she's so much fun to draw!

The third group of Idiots is here! From left to right: Lixori, Ender, Wendy, Virgo, Goldie, Foxy, Seven/Seraphus, Alpha, Kress, Marina, and Zarris. It was interesting taking the old designs from my old (and since lost on my old corrupted SSD) christmas work with Alpha, Seven, Ender, and etc and remaking them to look better and still match with the newer ones, where I went a little bit more wild with the designs. Unsurprisingly, some still have bits and pieces where they match their default outfits - Zarris has his cloak's latch, Alpha has his turtleneck sweater, Goldie has his purple bowtie, etc - to add that little touch of the usual to the otherwise festive attire... although the most obvious "I drew them on two separate days and they clearly aren't proportionally accurate to each other" is here, with Goldie being significantly taller than Foxy, when it should be the other way around... Regardless, my favourite design here goes to Marina, for the classic Santa costume with not much embellishment. A good runner-up is Lixori and her deer costume that reminds me of a school uniform, but I've gotta say Marina's is my personal top choice of this group.

And last but not least, the final collection of morons and idiots! From left to right: Lady Joy, Detective Delilah, Reverend Ezra, Kara, Tempest, Alrani, Aria, Irina, Urisinia, Cupcake, and Verda. I did Lady Joy's linework nearing to the end because I realized I was off by one for each of the three sets to be even - 15 Deer, 15 Elves/Santas, and 15 Snowmen - but hey, the 46th one got to be an Angel. Is it weird that she's clearly dead and a bloodied, battered corpse? Eh. She looks cute and is having fun and that's what counts. Shout out to my favourites of this group though, being Delilah and Alrani. Delilah looks so uncomfortable in her deer costume - I mean, she is a detective who looks into supernatural beings (Vampires, mostly) in Wayhaven - and Alrani just looks cute and I had a lot of fun drawing her Dendro Vision on her belt.

I had a lot of fun drawing these idiots, but here's to another year hopefully far better than the last! This year has been a bit trying on my patience, given I have new back pain that I'm waiting on Canada Post (after waiting on a temp manager, my actual manager, and then a new temp manager, and then the office manager, then the temporary office manager) in order to get my benefits so I can pay for physio, but hey, it is what it is, right? My mental health is... plateauing, which is... good? But we'll see what 2025 brings.

Perhaps I may draw more in 2025. After all, I still have my 2024 art summary to make up, and so far, it's gonna be a bit... bare, like last year's. Oh well.

[sussex-nature-lover]

Sunday 12 March 2023

The One Where We’re Stand In Parents

After their wedding last year the elder Ms NatureWatch and her husband took a few nights away with young Pepper, their rescue dog, who we think will soon be around the three year old mark. She’s been with them for 16 months and has settled down really well. Now though, they’ve taken the opportunity to have a honeymoon break away over seas and we’ve been designated to stand in and look after her. It’s a big job as she’s only had one night without them since the adoption.

I’m pleased to report that her first 24 hours, including her overnight, were  successful, there were no tears at bedtime and we actually had to wake her at just before 7am for a quick walk around the garden.

After we’d fortified ourselves with a couple of cups of tea off we set for a proper walk and were so grateful we caught the sunniest and best part of the day for the longest walk. Here’s some photos from what we saw both yesterday afternoon and today

If we’d gone any further down this track we’d have been in the muddy woods, instead of the wet and muddy fields, so we took a sharp left and stuck to the edges of the field.

There isn’t usually a pond here at all, shows how much rain we’ve been having. She had a look, but wasn’t inclined to take a dip, thank goodness

Throughout our route there are odd pockets of Spring naturalising

and some sights that definitely aren’t natural!

We only found three cattle out in the fields - most were in the barns - but two were this mother and calf. The calf took exception to our four legged friend and charged over mooing to see her off. Pepper retaliated but we got her away without too much trouble.

This afternoon there was a young sheepdog loose on the track, but once again we were able to guide our way safely past.

At one stage a small herd of deer ran through the next field. I think they caught her eye but she didn’t make a sound. The white deer was amongst them, but it just wasn’t possible to get a picture in focus. That ghostly figure through the trees is it - trust me.

Far more interesting for part terrier was this active burrow. Luckily we didn’t let her get too close as I wouldn’t have fancied retrieving her if she’d set her mind to investigations

We heard lots of great tits and sparrows; there were plenty of starlings around and at one stage I had to get out my bird app to identify a mistle thrush singing, that’s very unusual

There were a couple of buzzards who were bothering the rooks and crows, you can just about see one above amongst the branches to the right of the nest, high up

I’m never lucky with buzzard pics, so I was quite pleased to at least catch this one in frame

In sharp contrast to spring, the little brook at the bottom of our woods has created quite a tumultuous waterfall - small, but mighty and yet, you can almost say that the Blackthorn blossom is out, so hopefully the heavy rains and even last week’s snow, are on their way out. That’ll definitely suit us if it is, sooner the better.

[peachy-momos]

𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 ❦ 𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐨 𝐆𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐝

A/N: here it is! Another reupload! This was for a collaborative a long time ago but I have no focusing abilities so I forgot who for. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

WC: 4.8k

Pairing: Stepbro!Pock x Stepsister!Reader

Warnings: afab reader (she/her pronouns). Unprotected sex. Creampie. Oral (m and f receiving). Fingering (semipublic and behind closed doors). Porco is a big fat meanie (queue sponge bob pic). Reader is a virgin. Porco is a playboy and is a wrestler *wink wink*

Porco acted like a dick. Was a dick. You didn’t even know why, you just got on his nerves for some reason. He had been your step brother for about five months, each month worse than the last. Your first meeting was painfully uncomfortable, the room tense and angry.

“You barely know him.” your voice was quiet as you crossed your arms, looking from your mother to her boyfriend as his son scowled, mouth frozen in an angry frown.

“Honey..” she said calmly, trying to lighten the mood. “We’ve been dating for over a year, we figured it was time to get married.”

Married. Of course they had to get married, that should be the last thing on her mind. Spending money on an expensive wedding when she has a daughter in college she could be helping out instead. Of course you’d pay her back, but jobs don't pay as well these days.

“It’s just going to be the four of us, we’ll do a small wedding in Hawaii. Hopefully you two can have a little fun.” she motioned to you and Porco, the scowl on his face growing even more dim.

Two months passed until it was time to take off. Admittedly it was fun, of course it would be more fun if Porco wasn’t there to ruin the mood. His sour facial expressions and vocalization of his disappointment in his father really put a damper on things.

But… you couldn’t help but stare at him as he undressed to get in the pool. Years of doing competitive wrestling left him with defined abs and pecs, ones you would secretly ogle at. It’s wrong… you shouldn’t be feeling like this for your step brother, it’s too taboo.

His back muscles flexed as he moved his arms, stretching them out under the sun.

“Hand me the sunscreen.” he muttered, not even bothering to look at you.

“Wow. Not even a please?” sighing, you crossed your arms. No matter how attractive he was on the outside, his shitty personality certainly proved him to be no Don Juan.

“Pass me the sunscreen. Please.” he mocked, clicking his tongue as you handed it to him.

“I’m going to go sign up for snorkeling. Come if you want, don't come if you don't want to. I don’t care.” your voice was quiet, tone annoyed.

Porco’s big hand came to clap on your shoulder, brown eyes piercing into yours. “Watch your mouth.” his voice was low, shooting a shiver up your spine.

“Whatever.” you scoffed in response, his eyes darkening as his hand tightened its grip. “Fine fine. I’m sorry.”

“Better.” he let you go, sending you on your way. Your legs shook as you pranced off like a scared deer, him chuckling behind you, loud enough for you to hear.

He’d take the rest of the trip to continue teasing you in his own way. Voice rough and heavy as he scolded you on your tone, your clothes, how you flirt with other guys, chalking it up to “sub par.”

“Those guys don’t want a meek bunny.” he pulled on the strap of your bathing suit, hitting it against your skin. The sting made you wince, making Porco laugh. “Did that hurt?” his lip jutted in a fake pout, tone a mock whine.

“I don’t see how my dating life is any of your business.” you bit your cheek, shying away from him in case he decided to pull on the strap again.

“Because I’m your big brother now.”

“And?”

“And what?” his nose scrunched, hand coming to grip harshly at your arm.

“Nothing.” taking in a harsh breath through your nose, you felt your heart race. His face was serious, eyes dark as he looked down at you.

“That’s what I thought.” his grip on your arm tightened, nails digging into your flesh.

“Porco.” you whined, hand tugging at his. “That hurts. Let go.”

He stepped closer to you, your breath ragged. “Does it?”

“Hey you two! How’s it going?” your parents came around the corner, Porco stepping away from you, You put a hand to cover the crescent shapes on the inner part of your upper arm, smiling at your parents.

“It’s going great!” they looked from Porco to you, smiling happily. “We were just about to go sign up for a snorkeling event. Right Pock?”

He grit his teeth, smiling fakely. “Yeah. We were.”

“I’m so glad you’re getting along.” your mother squealed in excitement, fists clenched.

“Yeah! Now we have to get going! C’mon Pock.” dragging him along, you waved a small wave to your parents, letting go of Porco when you both were out of eyesight.

“Pock?” he crossed his arms, clicking his tongue. “Who the fuck do you think I am?”

“Would you rather me show them the mark you left on my arm? I’m sure they’d think you’re the best big brother.” your tone was sarcastic, hand rubbing at the red semi swollen marks on your arm. “Let’s go sign up for the snorkeling shit before it gets full.” He moved to walk away, your hand coming up to fit on his bicep. “Where do you think you’re going?”.

“You seriously don’t think I’m going to do this shit with you, right?” his chuckle was strained, bicep flexing in your arm.

The hard muscles in his arm made your mouth water involuntarily, snapping out of your daze as he cleared his throat.

“I already told them we were doing it together. You have to.”

“Like hell I do.”

“I’ll tell them how mean you’ve been to me~” you sang, making him chuckle again.

“Go ahead, doubt they’d care.”

“Wanna test it out?”

His mouth opened, then closed as he was stuck in thought. “Give me the fucking pen.” smiling, you handed the pen to him.

The event was early the next day, your parents buying the commemorative pictures immediately.

“Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” drying yourself off, you turned to look at Porco, his usually slicked back hair falling in strands on the side of his face.

“Fuck off.” he grabbed a towel from your hand, walking away while grumbling to himself.

*

“I don’t know what it is.” you sighed, hands falling to your side as you plopped onto the bed. “He must hate me or something.”

“Porco does not hate you.” Pieck mused, coming to sit next to you. “I bet he’s just jealous that he didn’t scoop you up before your parents got married.”

The look of disgust hit your face before you could process a single thought, a laugh bursting out of your throat. “I doubt it. I heard him talking with his wrestling buddies the other day. He called me ugly and annoying, ungrateful asshole.”

“He doesn’t think you’re ugly.” her tone was soft, hand stroking your hair, touch equally as soft.

“What makes you think that?”

“In one of the pictures you showed me, he was looking at your ass.”

The silence in the room was deafening, the groan you admitted breaking through it like nails on a chalkboard.

“Great, he likes my ass. What a fucking keeper.” your head was buried in your pillow, another small laugh escaping your throat as you came up with an excuse. “He was probably just looking at a stain I had, I sat on a dirty bench without realizing it.”

“Whatever you say.” the silence returned, Piecks soft hands lulling you into a sense of calm.

*

“Where the fuck is my uniform.” Porco spat angrily, coming into the laundry room in only his boxers.

“No idea, check your pile.” you shrugged, folding your laundry neatly. Porco plucked the shirt you were about to fold out of your hands.

“Already checked it,” his fingers came to hold onto your chin, tugging it so he could stare into your eyes. “Last I saw it was when you put it in here sweetheart.” his tone was gravely, brown eyes staring a little too closely into yours.

Your hand came to tug at his, his grip unrelenting. “One, I’m not your sweetheart, I’m your sister; and two, I’m not your mother. I work hard on doing everyone’s laundry, the least you could do is thank me.” tone soft, you moved the lower part of your body to pick the shirt he took from you up, hoping to put it in the clean clothes basket.

“Do we need to have another fucking conversation about watching your mouth?”

“No…” you sighed, always having been not one for conflict.

His smile was triumphant as he uttered the words. “That’s what I thought.” Porco left you alone to work on finding his wrestling singlet, breaths raggedy from being so close to him while he was clad in only the thin material of his boxers.

The imprint of his dick against his boxers was stuck in your mind, recurring as you watched his first match of the season. The singlet they were forced to wear did little to the imagination, the print of his cock and fat of his ass straining against the material.

You had to avert your eyes sometimes, the way you were feeling should never be how a girl feels for her stepbrother, it’s morally wrong.

When Porco came over to greet your family, you swear you gagged. Even if he looked great in his singlet, the hour that he spent pinning other college boys to the old and dusty mat had left him sweaty and smelling of B.O.

“What's wrong with her?” his lips curled into a fake smile, two sugary sweet words leaving his lips. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” you dry heaved, beads of sweat forming on your brow. “You just smell bad.”

“That’s not very nice.” your mother was oblivious to Porcos knowing smile, testing you to go on.

“I agree, that really hurts little sis.” his hand came to rest over his heart, batting his eyelashes dramatically.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” you heaved again, hurrying to get away from Porcos.

Since the match ended, you ended up going straight home after taking a moment in the bathroom. Your room was quiet, a small knock echoing on your door. “It’s open.” resuming whatever you were doing earlier, you only looked up when the person spoke.

“You should apologize to Porco for what you said earlier.” it was your mother, of course it was. Porco could do no wrong but apparently you always could. “That could really hurt his self esteem.”

A retort got caught in your throat, “I...okay.” were the only words seeping out of your mouth quietly.

“Thank you.”

Begrudgingly you made your way over to Porco’s room, tugging his door open to see a girl sprawled out under him, dick in his hand, pressed against her.

“Oh my god. Oh my god, I-I’m so sorry.” you stumbled over your words, legs shaking as you quickly shut his door. Locking yourself in your room, you grabbed the nearest pillow to scream into. Worst sister point goes to you, fuck, you should’ve knocked. You usually do, so why didn’t you this time?

The door to your room opened softly, the squeak it let out pulling you from your thoughts.

“The door was locked for a reason.” sighing, you looked up to see Porco clad in grey sweatpants, hair disheveled.

“And?” he moved closer to stand in front of you, leaning over to get eye to eye. “You know, if you wanted to see, you could’ve just asked.” his tone was low, provocative as he teased you, making your entire body heat up.

“Shut up.” looking down, you bit your lip, shifting uncomfortably as your stomach knotted. “It was an accident… I’m sorry.”

“Calm down, I’m just teasing. I mean, unless you really did want to see.”

“You’re a disgusting pervert.” your fingers fiddled with each other, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

“Disgusting?” he mocked, tilting his head to the side as he crossed his arms, muscles bulging,

Porco’s lips were plump, inviting, and you couldn’t help but to attach your eyes to them before flitting back up to his face. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife, harsh imprints on the inside of your cheek from biting it.

He tugged on your hair harshly, his voice a growl. “Got something to say?”

“‘m sorry Porco.” whining, you pressed your legs together which only made him chuckle. You shouldn’t be feeling like this… it’s not okay… but as he pressed his lips to yours, you couldn’t help but feel that this was so right.

His lips were slightly chapped, tongue skimming on your bottom one. Your hands gripped onto his shoulders, pushing him away when he tried to delve his tongue into your mouth.

“We can’t…” your words were barely above a whisper, teeth finding your lip once again.

Porco was silent before his lips turned into an angry frown. “Whatever.” he stood up, slamming the door behind him, causing the tears pooling in your eyes to spill.

You and Porco avoided each other like the plague, he’d bring a new girl over every week, dropping them for no apparent reason. The girls would giggle and mock you if they saw you in the hallway, Porco only looking at you with cold eyes.

You never ventured outside of your room unless you needed to when he brought the girls around, pangs of sadness and jealousy would cloud your emotions, making you isolate yourself. A month passed, your mother and his father questioning both of you endlessly to no avail.

One of those nights where he had brought yet another girl over, you dared to leave your room, having a date later in the night.

“Your makeup looks like shit.” you turned around to see the girl he brought with him standing in the doorway, her arms crossed against her scantily clad chest.

“Thanks.” smiling fakely, you continued to apply your eyeshadow, turning around again once you realized she hadn’t left. “Do you need something?”

“Just stay away from him.”

“I don’t know what you mean. He's my step brother, I didn’t choose to live with him.” your tone was quiet as always, but snappy. She was wearing down your tolerance, not to mention you haven’t been sleeping the best.

“Don’t play dumb with me, I’ve seen the way you look at him.” your breath caught in your throat, and she continued. “It’s actually quite cute… y’know, how you think you’d ever have a chance with him.”

You spoke an “I…” then shut your mouth quickly, looking at the floor.

“Awww. Have nothing to say because you know it’s true? Why would Porco ever like you, I mean have you seen yourself.” she sneered, batting her eyelashes as some sort of mockery.

“Can you just leave me alone please. I don’t even understand why you bothered to come in here if all you wanted to say was that.” you sighed, biting your lip.

She moved closer to you, ready to speak before your mother spoke up.

“What’s going on here?” her tone was stern as she looked from the girl to you, knowing she had heard all she had to.

“Mrs Galliard…” the girl giggled, “We were just joking! It’s nothing bad.”

Your mother told her to leave quietly, voice louder when she tilted her head to the side. “”You’re not welcome in this house anymore, leave.” her word was final, the girl walking out with alligator tears in her eyes.

Looking up, your eyes met your mothers, her own soft as she looked at you. “Honey… I’m so sorry.” she hugged you gently, rubbing your back soothingly as you cried.

Porco stopped bringing the girl, barging into your room a few days later.

“What the fuck?” his eyes were wide, angry as he looked at you. “What is wrong with you. I knew you were jealous but I can’t believe you would go that far.”

You looked over at him, setting your phone down to the side with a questioning look on your face. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” your tone was calm, in contrast to his angered one.

“Then why did she call me crying yesterday, saying that your mom kicked her out because you didn’t want her to be here and you were jealous.” his breath was ragged, obviously very angry.

“That’s not how it went…” you murmured, cuddling up with one of your pillows. “She left because she was insulting me and mom didn’t want to hear it in her house. Anyway, why would I be jealous of her.”

“I don’t know, you seemed pretty jealous to me.”

“As if I would be. You’re not that attractive anyway.” your fingers twiddled together, tone quiet as he shifted to move, grabbing your chin like the first time he kissed you.

“What did I say about watching your mouth.” his tone was cocky, he knew you were lying through your teeth, he could probably feel your heartbeat as it radiated through your entire body.

“I’m sorry.” his grip on your chin tightened, forcing you to look up at him.

“Say it again.” tone rough, his eyes narrowed

“‘m sorry Porco..” you sighed, hands finding the neckline of his shirt. Biting your lip, your eyes travelled down his face, scanning his features.

He kissed you again, this time more harsh than the last. His tongue slipped into your mouth, you didn’t bother to push him away this time… after all, you wanted it.

Porco kissed you with fervor. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” his tone was softer, the same words from earlier repeated in a different manner. “Why didn’t you tell me..”

“I didn’t want to put you in the middle of it... you seemed to really like her this time”

“Are you seriously that stupid?” he shook his head, gripping the back of yours. Pulling you in, he kissed you once again, leaving you dizzy and breathless.

Your make out session lasted longer than you’d like to admit, lips swollen and red as you checked yourself out in the mirror afterwards.

A pang of guilt hit you, what would your mother think of this? You’d probably be thrown out of the house… have to start a life all over… but she never had to know. You could keep your relationship secret, only going to Porco’s room in the deepest hours of the night, cuddling with him in the red light of his LEDs.

His hands were calloused as they’d stroke your face, pushing your cheeks in so your mouth would open much easier for him. Nothing ever went farther than a makeout session and maybe some groping, you’d push Porco off if he tried to press his luck.

*

“So…” Pieck pressed, “How are things with Porco?”

“Confusing as always… but good, he’s apologized for hurting me when we went to Hawaii..” you sighed, scrolling through your phone. “But still, I don’t know what goes through his head. One minute he’s punishing me because I ran my mouth,  the next he’s…” pausing, you felt your whole body heat up as Pieck raised an eyebrow in question.

“What did he do?”

“Fingered me during dinner…” you squeaked quietly, hiding your face in your hands as you thought about it.

That night was normal as always, you helped set dinner up, clad in a t-shirt and skimpy shorts. It didn’t matter what you wore, Porco wouldn’t dare try anything in front of your parents… right?

Wrong.

Porco’s hand rested on your leg, thumb stroking the inside of your thigh. You shot him a look, the only hint of emotion on his face was a twitch of his lips.

“How’s school going?” his father asked as he put a bite of food in his mouth, waiting expectantly for an answer.

“It’s going well. Winter break is coming soon, so that’s something to look forward to.” you smiled, taking a sip of your water as Porco’s hand travelled further up your thigh. His fingers pressed into your panties from the side of your shorts, making your breath hitch.

Your parent’s spoke to each other loudly, drowning out your whine of, “Porco… what are you doing.”

“Shut up.” His tone was low, hand moving to the waistband of your shorts. You shivered, his fingers moving past both the waistbands of your shorts and panties. He warmed you up with his palm, thumbing your clit gently.

“Are you going anywhere with Pieck over the break?” your mother asked in between bites of her food, oblivious to what Porco was doing to you.

You sighed as Porco dipped into your wetness, pushing a finger into you. “Mm… I don't think so? We may just stay at home to save money.”

Porco added another finger once you squeezed his arm, brows knitting gently as he angled his fingers to hit your g-spot.

Your parent’s continued to stay oblivious as Porco stroked the fire in your belly. It became almost too much as he pressed his thumb to your clit, fingers continuing to hit your g-spot. With one hand gripping onto his arm and another gripping onto the table, you came onto his fingers. Your knee hit the underside of the table, alerting your parents to look over at you.

“Are you okay sweetie?” concern laced your mothers voice as she looked over at you, making your ears burn with embarrassment.

“I… don’t feel well.” you coughed fakely, adjusting your shorts under the table. Getting up, you ducked your head, heading to your room.

Porco waited around ten minutes before following you, knocking on your door to “check on you”.

“Porco… what the hell was that.” you groaned, digging through your underwear drawer to find a clean pair.

“Oh don’t be coy, you liked it. Didn’t you?”

“Yes... “ you mumbled, throwing your panties into the laundry bin. “But seriously Porco? They could’ve caught on.” you fisted your hand into his shirt, biting on your bottom lip.

“I’m sorry.” he grumbled, making you smile softly.

“Haven’t heard those words in a while.” you pecked his cheek quickly, “Now go on. You’re only meant to be checking on me, go tell them I need to rest.”

*

Winter break came quickly, Porco didn’t make any plans due to you staying home, and his matches for wrestling.

You and Pieck had planned for a girls night, hitting up a nice restaurant and some shops in one of the nice shopping districts by your house. Applying some mascara to your eyelashes, you looked in the mirror. The top you wore was tight, strappy, paired with a nicer skirt.

Porco stood in the doorway, startling you as you turned around to find your glitter.

“Jesus Porco.” you breathed out, leaning down to grab your glitter once you found it.

“What the fuck is that?” he gave you a once over, his jaw clenching.

“A top and a skirt? What about it?” laughing, you opened the body glitter.

“You’re not going out in that,” he paused, seeming to think of what to say next but it fizzled out as he moved to fix his pants.

Smiling knowingly, you gulped, murmuring out a “I’ll text Pieck to reschedule.”

“Good idea”

Porco’s lips were on yours once the door to his room was shut and locked, hands moving to undo your top. His tongue played at the seam of your lips, stroking your tongue once you opened your mouth. Once you pushed him away to get some air, he pushed your top off, eyes low lidded and pupils blown.

“No bra?” he pinched one of your nipples, making you whimper.

“The top didn’t need it…”

He smirked, pushing you onto the bed. You pulled his shirt over his head, getting some help from him when you whined that it wouldn’t come off. His LED’s helped enhance the mood, his lips travelling down your neck as you undid the tie of his sweatpants.

He slapped your hand away, pulling his sweatpants down. “No touching.”

“But… pock…” you whined, chest heaving.

He arched his brow, daring you to continue, but when you didn’t he pulled the zipper of your skirt, easing it off your body. Tugging on the lace of your thong, he spoke. “Dressing up like a little slut on your night out huh?” you moaned a protest, but it was drowned out by his next question. “Who’s attention were you seeking, baby? Some asshole who’d leave you after a night?”

You shook your head desperately, “Only you.”

“Prove it.” Porco knew what he was doing, he saw the way your eyes glazed over, the way you bit your lip as you palmed at the thick outline of his cock in his briefs. The protest of it being wrong a thing of the past, your soft moan as Porco freed his length proof. With one hand on the top of your head he dragged your mouth to his throbbing cock.

Heeding his earlier warning, you tongued at his cockhead, sighing as he pushed your head down to envelope the tip with your mouth. He was thick, thicker than average honestly, the edges of your mouth burning as he pressed you down further.

You felt spacey, tears in your eyes as Porco forced his cock to hit the back of your throat, making you gag. He pulled you off to give you a break, your breath coming out ragged as he moved your mouth to suck on one of his balls.

“You sure you wanna do this?” he looked down at you, your mouth eliciting a lewd pop as he pulled you off.

“I’m sure…” you nodded, and he motioned for you to lay on your back.

He buried his head between your thighs, tongue lapping at your clit, fingers tracing your outer lips. He sucked on your puffy clit, pushing a finger into your wetness. He pushed on your g-spot, making you moan softly. Your legs clamped onto the sides of his head, his free hand pushing them apart as he added another finger.

“Porco.” you moaned, hands holding your face as he pressed his fingers to your g-spot harshly, making you cum on his face after a few more thrusts.

“You’re sure?” he asked again, making you roll your eyes.

“Yes I’m sure. Get on with it.”

“Whatever you want, baby.” he positioned himself, pushing in. “Loosen up, it feels like you’re trying to rip my dick off.”

“‘m sorry…” you let out a high pitched moan as he pushed in further, bottoming out as you winced. The stretch was painful yet pleasurable, his hand wrapping itself around your neck as he set a ruthless pace almost right away.

His hand squeezed the edges of your neck skillfully, making sure not to hit your windpipe. Small plaps echoed throughout the room, little grunts and moans coming from his mouth.

“Fuck, you take cock like a whore.” you squeezed him harder, a strangled chuckle coming out as he continued to thrust harshly, his cockhead brushing your g-spot. “You like when I call you names, baby?”

You nodded, and he loosened his grip on your throat, allowing you to speak. “I do…” moaning, you cried out his name, making him groan.

Porco continued his ruthless pace, his hand tightening around your throat again.

The flutter of your walls made Porco halt his motions, his grip on your throat loosening again.

“You want me to cum inside baby?” he looked down at your fucked out face.

You nodded, making him groan once again. He resumed his pace, his free hand coming down to thumb at your clit, the knot inside your stomach finally unraveling. With the squeeze of your walls and a few more thrusts Porco cums, painting your walls white. A couple drops dribbled out of you as Porco laid his head on your chest, panting.

“Such a good girl. You took me so well.” he pulled out, his words greatly contrasting his earlier ones.

“Thank you?”

Porco laughed as he situated himself so that your head was resting on one of his pecs. “I hope that was a memorable first experience.”

“How’d you know…” you hid your face in your hands, embarrassing heat overwhelming you.

“You pushed me away anytime I tried to do anything farther than fingering.” he paused, smirking. “You know, for a virgin you’re a little freak.”

“Like you're any better. You’re worse than I am.”

“Wanna get whipped?” he asked, making you shiver and shake your head. “No? Then watch your mouth.” his hand came to pinch your cheek, showing that this time, it was a joke.

“Sorry pock.” you hummed, throwing a hand over his stomach as you buried your head in his chest.

“Whatever. Get up baby, we need to wash off.” clinging to him, he ran a bath, you both stepping into it. You rested your head on his shoulder, your back resting on his chest.

One thought went through your mind.

Who knew getting on your stepbrothers nerves could lead to fucking?

[master-sass-blast]

So I keep seeing videos of people showing their “healthy relationship weight” where people gain weight in healthy relationships and I can just imagine (Y/N) looking through old pics of her before she started dating Piotr and then when she was in a relationship with him and notice that she did get the healthy relationship weight

Idk I think it’s a cute idea :)

(I threw most of this under a cut because it does discuss relationships with weight, food, and restricting food as a form of abuse/control.)

Oooh yeah, you're absolutely right, Nonny.

Especially if we're going with CHC Reader, who was probably alarmingly skinny due to all the stress of her old home life and the fact that her parents were restrictive with food as a form of abuse and control.

For me, I finally realized that I was at a healthier weight when I noticed my face had finally gained some weight while I was looking in the mirror one day. For reference, I didn't even have baby fat on my cheeks as a teenager because I was so skinny and so stressed that I didn't eat much. I wasn't alarmingly underweight or anything, but I look back on old photos and my face looks very severe as a result. Nowadays, I think my face looks nicer.

So, with that context, I could see CHC Reader (or any general Reader insert, but I'm definitely leaning on the narrative of the series) looking at the mirror and realizing that her face has more weight to it, then realizing that her body has more weight to it as well. She asks Piotr if she's gained weight -then recontextualizes the question when he gives her a deer-in-headlights look-and the two of them have a conversation about how far she's come and she cries because she feels happy and safe now.

And then Piotr shows her how much he loves her body at any weight. Naturally.

[softpine]

ooh she still wants there to be an element of surprise, but she lets people know in advance what sizes she is, her favorite colors/styles, and what kind of gift would be most useful for her because she definitely wants more functional stuff (mainly clothes) rather than random junk. as for the rest of them:

stevie: she wants ALL the random junk. did you see a weird, creepy clown statue and think “stevie would get a kick out of this”? you’re right. she loves it.

asa: finn’s gifts are always going to be his favorite because finn puts so much thought into them but in general, asa isn’t picky at all with gifts! if there’s thought behind it, he’ll love it.

jada: definitely appreciates thoughtful gifts because she’s always surprised when she realizes that there are people out there who listen to what she says & files it away for future reference ;-;

finn: when he was alive, he always wanted toys or video games because they were a rarity. but now, he appreciates the gifts asa & stevie come up with, because he knows it’s not easy!

casper: he’s an amazon wishlist kind of person!

beth: also an amazon wishlist person, but the wishlist is just full of practical things like kitchen supplies and towel sets lmao

caroline: she feels like she’s too old to get gifts anymore lol she just asks for candy and a nice card, maybe a fancy sketchbook every now and then.

danny: he makes the most money out of everyone ofc, so he feels too bad asking for any type of gifts. he would much rather get a thoughtful, cheap or free thing as a present.

mikaela: she loooves bouquets and breakfast in bed.

@vatorelilith​ ahhh i love and miss you too!! i’m happy to see you around though 💖​ i’m afraid you don’t have much to catch up on anyway, i’ve been so ridiculously busy lately 😭 we love finn and his chainsaw though fjkjsd

he’ll be so sad to leave it for real 😭

she is danny’s wife but in a much more real sense, she is my wife

WHAT AHHHHH i’m so jealous!!!! that’s amazing 🥺 there’s a family of deer living in the area behind my house and they’re soooo cute, i love seeing them every day 🤧

oh yeah i knew the cartoon preset would upset me bc i’m so sensitive about filters and stuff like that, it’s like a rabbit hole for me.. once i start i just can’t stop comparing everything they changed about me 😭 but it’s not real, and humans are way prettier than that!! and omg i know, i love that pic of them ;-;

ksjdfj ummm i honestly can’t imagine any of them being a true Horse Girl, i’m so sorry to say... but olivia (mikaela’s little sister) was canonically an equestrian, so we’ll go with her lol

nothing special, i just tagged them with stuff like ts4 and the sims 4!! most of my readers never came from the tags anyway, it was through reblogs and word of mouth. if you link me to your story i would love love love to reblog it and get your name out there!! 💖💖

@sliceofplumbobpie​​ hey there!! i use 1280x760, but it really doesn’t matter -- tumblr will resize your pictures on the dash anyway. and thank you so much!! 💖💗💖

@chaoticchai​ thank you! i hope you have a great day too 🥺💗​

[auckie]

the most inconvenient triggers are the silliest. I end up near catatonic whenever I have bladder issues and a UTI once had more power over me than a guy with a big scary knife begging me to put all copies of bambies adventure PS2 in the bag

Aside from bears and car crashes, which aren’t even really triggers anymore. I dunno if I have. Wait no ok so crumbs. Small particles. And disembodied hair will actually disable me. It’s like debilitating I used to not be able to function, like my disgust for those things. And I had really bad misaphonia too. Loud noises make me sure angers and autistic and I freeze up like a deer but this is just like a list or weaknesses now. Ok but you know something? One time this dude took me into the woods when I was just out of highschool. I saw a huntsman so I knelt down and started talking about it. He wasn’t answering so when I stood up and turned around, he was totally undressed save his fucking tube socks and sketchers. I stayed completely calm and took my keys between my fingers and told him I could scream really loud and I that I fight dirty. Well the last part wasn’t verbatim but it was implied with the keys. He laughed it off and then we went to Chili’s and ive never seen or talked to him again. Didn’t phase me at all. Still doesn’t. I don’t like Chili’s but I would be fine going there. However. I had to emcee this noise show last minute at my college once, so I got really drunk bc I was kinda nervous bc none of the bands were like cooperating w/ giving me their info for the intro spiel. Plus I was already a bit drunk. And so when the first act is up I stutter through it all, and it’s so obvious everyone’s clapping bc they can tell I’m nervous. And they’re like, wow! You did so good dude. So without thinking I run up to my teacher and blurt out MY SISTER IS GIVING BIRTH! And he’s like. What! Go! Go you gotta go to the hospital! And I run out just as a friend is approaching the building to come see the show. And I grab her and am like. We cannot fucking go in there we need to leave. For the rest of his time there, the professor who asked me emcee would talk to me about the baby (showed him a pic of a friends on Facebook), and then, sadly, he got fired. Thus ended my pain. Bc most of the freaks at the show who witnessed my penis fiasco weren’t anyone I cared about anyways. But yeah so for about two+ years after this incident, remembering it in any capacity, despite how funny it was, would make me go near catatonic and then disassociate. Anything THAY reminded me of it would trigger this. It was insane. Especially bc I always pull shit like this so I should have been used to it. Like I don’t have a lot of shame but, I dunno I guess it was the perfect storm of stupid shit to completely mortify me!

[ocegion]

Nile is sitting on one of the couches of the safehouse, legs crossed and eyes on her screen as she lazily navigates youtube, when she hears an app notification loudly popping up a few feet away from her. She blinks a few times and looks up at its source.

Joe and Nicky are on the couch across from her, half-lying on each other as each of them reads their own book. Now, however, Nicky is grasping at his phone, slight grimace on his face as he looks at it, then exchanges a look with Joe, who sports a similar expression. A moment later they nod at each other and Nicky sweeps his thumb across the screen.

Their heads come together as they both focus on the screen, a certain degree of curious apprehension on their faces. They stay like that for a moment, then Nicky’s grimace comes back stronger than before as he tosses the phone to the edge of the couch. Joe just huffs, eyes narrowed, and his hand flies to Nicky’s head, gently massaging his scalp as he pulls the man closer.

It’s a few moments before either of them take notice of Nile’s fixed gaze. Joe looks curious, relaxing his hold on his partner a bit as he shifts his attention.

‘Is something the matter, Nile? You need anything?’

Nile now realizes she’s been staring, and quickly breaks her eyes away for a single moment before coming back, now with a teasing, somewhat incredulous grin on her lips.

‘I had gay friends back in Chicago, you know’ she comments easily. Nicky frowns in confusion.

‘You have gay friends now. We’re right here.’

‘I know, I know, not saying otherwise. Just… Some things are familiar.’ Neither of them seem to have a clue what she’s getting at, if their deepening frown is anything to go by. Nile’s amusement grows exponentially. ‘All I’m saying is, I know what a grindr notification sounds like.’

In the five months she’s been part of the team, Nile has barely ever seen Nicky show the slightest indication of nerves, let alone flustered. He’s about as impassible as a marble statue, but without the hard coldness to it. Now, however, she’s seeing with her own two eyes how a deep red quickly takes hold of his cheeks in the few seconds it takes for him to fully register what she’s said and hastily look down. He unconsciously leans towards Joe, who isn’t flustered, per se, but for once in his life seems to be not immediately sure what to say, mouth opening to start saying something, only to repeatedly decide to change his wording, then just shutting up with his lips turned a thin line.

‘What the hell is a green deer?’ Andy asks from the other corner of the room, where she’s taken off her headphones to pay attention to the current commotion. Nile brings her hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh when Nicky groans in response.

‘Nothing important’ Joe grumbles lowly. Andy’s eyebrow rises, an equally amused and bemused expression hinting on her face, but she merely shrugs and puts her headphones back on. Nile can hear the music from here, and she’s going to have to remind her again that no healing means she can, in fact, go deaf if she keeps doing that.

For the time being, though…

‘Grindr’ she repeats, a delighted tone to her voice. The word seems to be some sort of spell that makes the both of them shrink on themselves, and she supposes it’s a bit mean, but they have behaved like the dignified, nearly-mystic millenium-old warriors they are every moment Nile has shared with them. She’s not going to let the chance to see them embarrassed pass so quickly.

‘There’s no shame in it, you know’ she says, and she means it. But she’ll admit that she says it knowing it’ll make Joe groan softly as he hides his face in his hands, and Nicky petulantly crosses his arms while pointedly looking away. ‘I mean it! I’m not going to judge you for your… Pastimes.’

‘This isn’t- This is not-’ Nicky stutters, brighter red if it’s even possible, and Nile is going to commit that look to memory because who knows when it’s going to come back. He wildly gestures with his hands, as if trying to grasp the words.

‘We were just curious, is all’ Joe supplies in a low but hasty mumble, nearly pouting and looking anywhere but at her. She raises her eyebrow.

‘I’d say you two are a bit late to be curious about this sort of thing. I doubt there’s anything you’ve got left to learn about this stuff. Well, being vanilla is okay in any case, even if it’s for a thousand years. Whatever suits you.’

Nicky stares at her, and opens his mouth to say something only to stop himself at the last second. He takes a long moment and in the end he settles, calmly, for ‘We were at a bar the other day, and we heard that grindr is the new space for gay men. We just wanted to check it out, keep up with the times.’

‘It wasn’t exactly what we expected it to be’ Joe adds, dryly. Nile takes a moment to stop herself from bursting into laughter. God, right now she really wishes social media wasn’t off limits to her, this is comedy gold.

She rises to her feet and throws herself at the other couch in between them. Joe and Nicky automatically make space for her, but they stretch their arms behind the couch to hold hands. They look at her curiously and she grins while she makes a beckoning gesture to Nicky.

‘Let me see.’

‘Nile!’ he nearly shrieks, half-scandalized. Nile is reminded that despite looking like he’s on the flower of life, at the point where maturity hasn’t started chipping away at youthful vigor, he is, after all, a grandpa older than most countries he steps into. Unfazed by this, she gives him a look that has him begrudgingly handling her his phone while muttering something under his breath.

Despite their complains, they seem very interested in whatever she’s going to do, both of their heads touching hers as they look at the device in her hands. She can’t help but be endeared by Nicky’s phone: His wallpaper is a pic of Joe sleeping (she’s willing to bet her next 30 lives that the opposite is true for Joe’s phone), and beside a sudoku app, the phone is pretty much barren. Except for grindr.

‘You should expect some, uh, unsavory things in there’ Joe mutters, somewhat apprehensive. Nile gives him an unimpressed look.

‘I’m not a child, Joe, no matter how many times you all say it. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen more than you had at my age.’

However, she goes directly to their profile. It’s the only thing that holds her curiosity, really, everything else has a very low chance of being anything she hasn’t already seen in her other friends’ phones. It is adorably innocent, considering what they knew about the app. It’s got a selfie of the two of them with Joe kissing Nicky’s cheek, another selfie of Joe at the beach with that backwards cap of his and sunglasses, and then a third one of Nicky reading, which she’s pretty sure Joe took while he wasn’t aware of it.

The profile is pretty much empty otherwise. The description is a mere ‘curious couple’, which, again, is adorably innocent considering she knows who they are. Not so much to anyone else, though.

Just in that moment, just as she’s about to check the chats just to drag the experience out, the phone rings with a new message. She opens it and-

‘Wow’ she says as she drops the phone, and you know what, she had forgotten the part about just how forward some guys could be. Had repressed it, most likely.

‘I know’ Nicky wails, picking up the phone and putting it at a safe distance. ‘We’ve gotten so many of those. And people who call Joe ‘daddy’. And asking about our, huh, positions. We keep expecting something a bit more… Mild. Just friendly. But no luck.’

‘We tried to start a few conversations, with some of the more, umm, dressed guys’ Joe continues, voice conveying a deep desolation within his soul. ‘It never goes over five minutes before they ask us if we want… Well. I’m not going to repeat it.’

Nile is, once more, struggling to keep the laughter inside herself. The sulky look they both give her has the laugh finally escaping her. ‘You are two attractive, young-looking men’ she says once she’s got her air back. ‘Of course guys are going to be interested. I think at this point you’ve figured out what guys are looking for in here.’

There is a brief silence. ‘Don’t get us wrong, it’s great there’s enough freedom for this… Thing, to exist’ Nicky says, more serene than he’d been a handful minutes ago. ‘It would have been unthinkable a handful decades ago in a country like this. It’s just not what we were expecting.’

‘It used to be about romance’ Joe adds, still somewhat sulky and looking at the phone like it had personally insulted him. ‘There used to be seduction, yearning, poetry. Courtship has changed a lot since we were young, we know, but this just skips it altogether. It’s lacking in taste, is all.’

Nile could repeat what the app was for and that there were other places they might find something more suitable to their tastes, but another, far more important thought crashes into her mind. She smirks.

‘You know I’m going to have to notify Copley about this, right?’

They both look like they’ve seen a ghost. ‘You absolutely don’t’ Nicky mutters, pale.

‘I absolutely do. No social media at all, remember?’

‘We were going to delete it anyway’ Joe begs. ‘We’ll do it right now in front of you.’

Nile pretends to think about it for about five seconds. ‘But what if someone has saved those pics of you?’

The look of dispair on their faces intensifies. ‘They can do that?’

Nile has no option but to roll onto the floor as she laughs harder than she has in a whole year.

[mypoisonedvine]

Hunt (dark!Slayer!Bucky x vampire!Reader)

a.k.a. Bucky the Vampire Slayer

a.a.k.a. Bucky the Vampire Layer

full credit for this idea goes to @deceitfuldevout​ who shared her genius with us for the concept of witch/witch-hunter, which morphed over time into vampire/vampire-hunter, which I eventually adapted into a weird amalgam of a Buffy AU and a Supernatural AU

@giorno-plays-piano​ asked to be tagged if I ever did it!

Warnings: smut, blood play (just a lil tho, but lots of talking about blood bc she’s...literally a vampire), degradation kink, sex that turns dub con/non con, kidnapping

(we are sadly deprived of any gifs of Bucky in the new jacket but please know the pic below is the Bucky we’re working with here)

Bucky clenched his jaw in frustration as his head fell back against the headrest.  His grip on the steering wheel tightened with a squeaking noise as his skin skidded along the leather.

He was irritated because he knew what was waiting for him at the end of this road.  The headlights only illuminated a little of what was ahead, but the predictive power of past experience told him everything he needed to know.

You were going to be waiting for him, and he never looked forward to that.

Memories resurfaced of the last time he had seen you.  He’d found you in the forest and though he couldn’t prove it, he was pretty sure he’d interrupted you feeding on a deer.  It was disgusting.  Yet, you moved with this grace he couldn’t ignore and spoke with a smile that he couldn’t forget.  You greeted him with a familiarity that he wished wasn’t merited.  He was a Slayer, you were a vampire; there shouldn’t ever be a second meeting.  He should’ve killed you the first time, however many months ago it was.  He couldn’t even remember why he didn’t, but you slipped away that night and he swore to track you down.

He did, but he didn’t kill you that time either, because you’d proven useful.  You’d sold out a vampire who pissed you off and Bucky got to put another kill under his belt.  That was definitely the only reason he’d left you alive.  

Then the forest.  You were more feral that time, and he saw more of your monstrous side than he had before.  So why was that the time he thought about when he tossed and turned at night, when he was too pent up from years of solitude, when he forced his eyes shut and slipped his hand into his boxers under the sheets--

Destination is on the right, the GPS alerted with a robotic voice.  Thank god.

Bucky pulled the car into the driveway of the dilapidated mansion, shifting into park and turning off the engine; the metal blasting from the radio halted unceremoniously.  

He didn’t hear the commotion inside the house until he was quite a ways from the car and halfway to the door.  Of course he considered that it was a bad idea to just walk in the front door of a suspected vampire coven as a Slayer, but he wasn’t here on a hunt.  At least, not the normal kind.

Before he was even on the porch, the door opened with an outpouring of pink light.  He shielded his face with his arm as his eyes adjusted, but put it down when he saw it was your silhouette in the doorway.

“Slayer,” you hissed with a smile that blended pleasure and disgust.  He knew the feeling.

“You could call me Bucky,” he offered.

“It doesn’t suit you,” you explained, leaning against the splintered wood of the frame.  “I wasn’t sure you were going to come.”

“Neither was I,” he admitted with a shrug, “but how could I resist a chance to jump into the lion’s den?”

“You’re here to take on a coven?  By yourself?” you laughed.

“I’m not looking for a fight,” he denied.  “I’m looking for information.”

You raised a brow as if to say go ahead.

“A girl in the city,” he continued.  “Mysterious death.  Coroner is stumped, thinks it could be anything from an animal attack to a blood disorder to a ritualistic murder.  Has your name all over it.”

“‘Girl’?” you repeated, as if you’d never heard the word before.  “Girl, no, I don’t remember any girl.”

“White, blonde, 5’2”, 26 years old,” he listed.

“Oh!” you stopped him.  “26!  You mean a woman.  Yes, I remember feeding on a woman.”

“So you’re confessing?” 

“To what crime?  She was going to die in less than a year, easily,” you shrugged.  “She did have a blood disorder.  Leukemia.  She didn’t know it yet.”

“And do I want to know how you knew it?” he shuddered.

“It’s a unique taste,” you grinned.  He felt a little unwell hearing you say that.

“I’m not sure if you’re familiar with human law,” he frowned, “but it’s still murder even if they were going to die soon.  It’s murder if they were actively dying.”

“I was human once,” you deflected.

“In 1447,” he growled.  You would’ve blushed if you could; you were flattered that he remembered.

“Yeah, murder investigation at that time was… very surface-level,” you admitted.  “Is your plan to arrest me, then?”

“I’m a Slayer.  Not a cop.”

“What you are is a wet blanket,” you grimaced.  “We’re busy in here, you know.  Big party.”

“I was hoping so,” he smirked.  “That’s what you promised.”

“Then why don’t you come in?” you asked coyly.  You hadn’t really expected him to do it.

Everyone inside jumped and scurried away the second he set foot in the door.  “It’s cool,” you told them, “he’s with me.”

That didn’t seem to comfort them that much, because what business would you have with a Slayer?

They must have figured it out when you slipped away to a secluded room and dragged him along with you.  He didn’t seem to figure it out until you were pushing him back against the wall, running your hands over his body through his clothes. 

“What I would give to feed on you,” you whispered, running your lips over his neck.  You took in a deep breath and felt a little light-headed at the overwhelming smell of his blood.  He, unfortunately, reeked of Slayer, and you pushed back your instinct of fear to appreciate the man underneath.  AB positive-- your favorite.  “Wanted you ever since I first saw you,” you admitted.  “You looked so fucking delicious.”

You pulled back to look up at him and you didn’t need vampiric hearing to know that his heart was racing: just the way his eyes darted across your face and down to your lips was proof enough.

“Why did you come here today, Bucky?” you asked quietly. 

“I’m on a hunt,” he answered in a low growl.

“For me?”

“For you.”

“You have me alone,” you noticed.  “You could get out your wooden stake and end this for good.”

He nodded, but didn’t move.  Instead you felt his hands trail along your sides; he jumped when he brushed the skin of your arm.  “You’re so cold,” he realized.

Meanwhile you thought you could burn up from the heat of him, radiating out of his body and through the thick layers of clothing.  He was so alive, so awake, so present.  

You pushed off his leather jacket and he didn’t even think to stop you, letting it fall to the floor.  You never cared for it.  He looked as good as sin in it, yes, but it smelled of death and dead things, the skin of something you wouldn’t have eaten when it was alive 40 years ago, and you wanted only to experience the life of this particular being.

And what is life but wanting?  Fuck, you wanted him so goddamn bad.

He wrapped a hand around your neck and pulled you into him, kissing you with instant need and dizzying aggression.

Even now you weren’t sure if he would let you live to see the end of the night.  But you couldn’t see the sunrise anyway, so what difference would it make?

He made embarrassingly quick work of your dress, tearing it straight down the front.  Downside of wearing something you’d had for nearly 100 years is that it’s flimsy.

His hands were back on you the second your skin was exposed.  His touch was so hot that it almost hurt; his hands were so rough and strong that your heart almost clenched.

You clawed at his shirt and gasped with delight when you accidentally nicked him with a sharp fingernail and broke the skin.  The flavor hit the air hard and fast; you grabbed his shoulders and pulled him forward so you could lean down and lick the thin red stripe you’d left on his chest.  Just a taste, but the best taste you’d had in… you couldn’t remember anything tasting this good.

“I won’t kill you if you don’t kill me,” he offered breathlessly.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you agreed quickly as you began to work open his belt because the last thing on your mind right now was survival.

You groaned when you felt his cock in your hand.  There was a lot of blood in that thing and you could feel it pulsing in your palm.  You knew better than to put it in your mouth; you didn’t have the restraint for that.  

You were thankful you hadn’t drank any more of his blood because clearly he had a better use for it.  It was so big you wondered how he hadn’t passed out from it getting so hard because seriously, this man’s cock was a monster; takes one to know one, eh?

“Fuck me,” you demanded, “I want you to fuck me, oh my god.”

He nodded as a low groan echoed out of his chest.  His grip moved to your hips as he pulled you up and put you on the table, pushing you down and bending over you with another bruising kiss that trailed down your body.

“Don’t fucking tease me,” you whined, “I need your cock.”

“Wait,” he instructed, kneeling before you and licking through your exposed folds.  You gasped, unprepared for how strange it would feel; your hand grabbed his hair and pulled harder than you meant to, but thankfully, he didn’t slow down.

Little moans and grunts were lost against your skin as he tasted you eagerly.  You were so overwhelmed with the sensation that he had to hold your hips down to keep you from squirming away.  You’d been feasting on humans for 600 years, and now it seemed like he was attempting to even the score.  Even you never ate with this enthusiasm.  But you’d never thought about a meal so much before consuming it as he had thought about you before this moment.  

You were already embarrassingly close to orgasm, and it was apparent from the way you moaned and writhed and begged.

“I’m so fucking close, just like that, please don’t stop, yes, yes, oh fuck, yes,” you yelped.

It all came to a screeching halt as he stood up and grabbed your face with his hand.  You looked at him with wide eyes, confused but still appreciating how good he looked with wet lips and dark eyes and his hair all fucked up.

“You aren’t gonna come,” he explained between raspy breaths, “until I’m inside you.”

You nodded in agreement, again arching your back as if you could will him to fuck you.

He slid his cock through your folds, coating himself in your arousal which was embarrassingly plentiful.

Finally, he pressed his cock into you all at once and you gasped, head falling back against the wooden table.  He groaned as he gripped your hips, steadying you so he could piston into you with brutal force.  

And to think you thought he was going to stab you through the chest with a wooden stake.  To be fair, he still could.  

He scooped you into his arms, pulling you up until your face was right against his.  “You’re warm here,” he informed you with bared teeth, “did you know that?  So hot and tight around my fuckin’ cock.”

You could only moan, your eyes darting to his parted lips, and then his neck.  You were thoroughly tempted, but didn’t want to do anything that might stop him from fucking you so perfectly like this.  His hand came up to wrap around your throat-- the metal one, specifically.  You were pretty sure he’d lost the arm to a monster fight of some kind but that didn’t matter now.  All you knew was that this one was strong enough to crush you and it was making your head dizzy and your pussy wet.

Your moans were lost to his grip as he choked you, and you could hear the ragged sounds of his breathing as he fucked you deeper and harder.  “You like getting fucked by a Slayer, huh?  You’re such a whore.  My whore.”

You gasped when he released your throat and you could breathe again.  “Yes,” you agreed with a sob, “yours, baby.” 

He chuckled a little at that, slipping a hand between your bodies to rub your clit with his thumb; you yelped and grabbed his shoulders tightly.

“You’re gonna come already aren’t you?” he mocked.  “Dumb fucking slut.”

You hissed at his harsh words but you were too lost in pleasure to complain.  Your eyes shot open when you felt two of his fingers slam into your open mouth and hit the back of your throat.  “Choke on my fingers while you come, bitch,” he growled.  “And I swear if you fucking bite me, you’ll regret it.”

It was like asking you to take a sip of sweet wine but not swallow it.  His skin tasted fucking delicious on your tongue, which you swirled around the digits eagerly.  He laughed: “such a fucking slut, sucking on my fingers like that.  You want it so bad.”

You nodded breathlessly, whimpering as you took his fingertips down your throat.  He groaned and slammed into you harder, which only served to bring you that much closer to the edge.  

“Come on my cock, right now,” he demanded, and you liked to believe it was just lucky timing and not his command that struck you at that moment.  Your nails dug into his shoulders as you felt yourself flexing and clenching around his length, another gush of arousal easing his way as he relentlessly pounded you.

“Good girl,” he praised, pulling his fingers from your throat to hear you pant with exhaustion.  He stopped to lift your legs onto his shoulders, pushing you back but leaning over you.  When he slammed into you again that time, you nearly screamed-- he was hitting something so deep in you that it was actually painful.

“Stop, it’s-- it’s too deep,” you moaned.

You tried to move back but he held you down firmly, a dark glimmer in his eye.  He thrust in again, even harder, and you cried out as you tried to grab onto the table for dear life.  He grabbed your wrists with each hand and pinned them beside you, laughing as you tried to fight him off.  

Any normal human you could overpower in an instant.  But you were no match for a Slayer.  Both of you knew that.  

“Let me go,” you begged, “you’re hurting me.”

“I could do a lot worse to you if I wanted.  You should be thankful I’ve let you live.”

“I could say the same,” you snarled.  He pulled back and rammed his cock into you so hard that you instantly screamed, tears sliding down your temple.

“Don’t talk to me like that,” he ordered.  “Just be a good little whore and take my cock.”

He started to move inside you, hard and fast, and you couldn’t help but struggle against him as he hovered above you.  

“Apologize,” he demanded, and just as he sensed you were about to tell him to fuck off, he accentuated it by holding his hips to yours a little longer than normal, reminding you that he could hurt you so easily if you didn’t obey.

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed, “I’m sorry, Bucky, please don’t… please don’t hurt me.”

He grinned as he watched you cry.  “This is what you fuckin’ get for teasing me.  You killed that girl to get my attention.  You wanted me to find you and fuck you the way you’ve been missin’ out on for the past few centuries.”

You shook your head to deny it but he suddenly let your arms go to slap you across the face.  You tried to use your free arm but in an instant he had your wrists pinned to your chest, putting all his weight on you until you could barely breathe.

“Just admit it, baby,” he said in an oddly sensitive way, like he was taking pity on you.  “Just admit you need me.”

“Please,” you sobbed, near-silent from the lack of air, “please…”

“Aw, look at you,” he cooed, “begging for more.”

He trapped your wrists under his left hand and used his right to roughly grab your jaw until your mouth was forced open.

“Show me your teeth, gorgeous,” he purred.  You hissed as your fangs glistened in the candlelight.  “Mmm, you wanna bite me, don’t you?”

You tried to nod but couldn’t move your face much.

“The feeling’s mutual,” he grinned.  “Fuck, I’m gonna come.  Gonna fill that tight little cunt.”

Your fight was renewed as you tried to kick and squirm away but it was useless.  You grunted as his thrusts became erratic but even more painful, somehow.

“Beg for it,” he growled through his teeth.  “Beg for my fuckin’ come.”

You tried to fight but only got another slap to the face, the sting making your eyes water instantly.  

“Beg, whore,” he repeated, yelling.  “I won’t come until I fucking hear it.”

“Please!” you yelped, and in a sense it was genuine, because once he came this would all be over, and maybe-- just maybe-- he would let his guard down long enough for you to feed on this evil son of a bitch.  “Please come, Bucky, come in me, I need it!” 

“Yeah, I know you do,” he laughed confidently, holding you down by your throat as he pumped into you one last time with a shattered moan.  “Fuck!” he sighed, savoring the feeling of your unwilling body forced to accept his seed.  The truth was, you were tighter when you struggled.

He only let you breathe once he was done, and you choked and spluttered for air as he pulled out.  The second you thought you had your bearings together, you were sitting up to lunge at him.  You felt something press against your chest and even before you looked down you knew it was over.

A wooden stake.  He’d had it the whole time.  You looked back at him and he was smiling, the bastard, even as he was still catching his breath from fucking you.  The sight made you shudder.

“I was gonna fuck you, and then kill you,” he admitted, “but now I think I’ll keep you.”

You hissed with a grimace, flashing your fangs, but knew you had no recourse, no options, no way out.

“You look so cute when you’re scared,” he smiled.  “Can’t wait to take you back to mine, trap you in a little salt pentagram, and fuck you senseless whenever I want.”

You whined, closing your eyes as you realized how well and truly fucked you were.  

“It won’t always hurt so bad.  You’ll get used to me.  And I’ll feed you enough to keep you alive.”

Sounded like a cruel existence, but you weren’t ready to get the business end of your stake, so you swallowed dryly and nodded in acceptance of your fate.  

He laughed and placed a chaste kiss on your cheek before guiding you to stand on weak knees.  “C’mon baby, let’s get you home.”