#( I can get if it's out of concern - him trying to tell the other to go easy on me after I made a few mistakes last night shift but still )

[cherryxbooo]

Yeah, I’m the lucky one

Summary: Hiding it when you're sick from your boyfriend is one thing, but hiding it from your clingy boyfriend is a whole other challenge.

Reader x Lando Norris

Genre: fluff

The paddock is alive with energy, buzzing with anticipation, the sound of engines roaring in the distance, and the hum of the crowd outside.

Lando is in his element, calm yet radiating an excitement that’s palpable.

The focus in his eyes is like nothing I’ve ever seen, and it’s clear that today matters more to him than most.

The weight of the race, the pressure of the expectations, and the fire in his heart are all simmering beneath the surface.

It's a mix of raw determination and adrenaline, and it brings out the best in him.

But me? Well, I feel the complete opposite.

I woke up feeling off, my head pounding and my body aching with a fever I couldn't shake.

I knew I should stay in bed, but I couldn’t. Not today.

Not with everything he’s worked for. I couldn’t let something as trivial as being sick get in the way of him having the best race of his career.

He’s been talking about this day for weeks, getting ready for it with an intensity that I’ve only seen in the world of motorsport.

But as I made my way through the paddock, trying my best to act normal, I felt the weight of my own discomfort pulling me down.

I’ve been silently counting the minutes until I can just crawl into a quiet corner and hide.

But the last thing I want is for him to see me like this. He’d immediately worry, go into panic mode, and lose focus.

Lando, with his big heart, would put everything aside just to take care of me, and I don’t want to do that to him.

Not today. Today is about him.

As I stand next to his family, making small talk with his friends, I feel dizzy.

The lights are a little too bright, and the sounds a little too loud.

I try to steady myself, offering a weak smile whenever someone glances my way, but the effort feels exhausting.

Lando’s mum catches my eye, and for a brief moment, I see a flicker of concern in her expression.

But she doesn’t say anything, just gives me a warm, reassuring smile. I’m grateful, but I can tell she knows something’s off.

Then, out of nowhere, I feel a familiar hand on my back. A small shiver runs down my spine as I turn to face Lando, and I instantly feel a warmth spread through me, despite the fever still creeping in.

“Hey baby, you okay?” His voice is soft, but there’s a sharpness in his eyes, like he’s always aware of everything around him, especially me.

I don’t want to worry him. I can’t.

So I give him a smile that’s more practiced than I’d like to admit,

“Yeah, just a little tired. Big day, huh?”

Lando raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it.

He studies me for a second, his gaze lingering a little longer than usual, his hand gently squeezing my back.

The touch is warm, comforting. “You sure? You don’t look so great.”

“I’m fine,” I assure him, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his cheek.

“You focus on the race. I’m just here to cheer you on.”

Lando hesitates, his lips pressed into a thin line as if trying to gauge if I’m really okay.

But then he nods slowly, though his concern doesn’t quite vanish.

“Alright… but if you need anything, you let me know, okay?”

His voice is almost a whisper, like he’s trying not to give away just how much he cares.

“I will,” I promise, trying to keep my tone light and convincing.

But as he walks away to prepare for the race, a sense of loneliness settles over me.

The noise around me feels overwhelming, and the crowd only amplifies the ache in my head.

I find a quiet corner, away from the chaos, hoping to just breathe for a moment.

I didn't realize that I had been hiding away for a while already.

But before I know it, Lando’s voice cuts through the distance.

“You’ve been hiding from me.”

I turn to see him standing there, leaning against the wall, arms crossed with a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

His presence alone seems to calm the storm inside me.

“I wasn’t hiding,” I protest weakly, though my voice cracks just slightly.

“Just… taking a break.”

Lando raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it.

“Taking a break from what? From me?”

He takes a step closer, his hand reaching out to gently touch my cheek, his fingers warm against my skin.

I close my eyes for a second, leaning into the touch, even though I feel like I might collapse at any moment.

“From the chaos of the paddock,” I admitted softly, my voice barely above a whisper.

His gaze softens, the teasing in his eyes fading. He steps in closer, his body brushing against mine as he gently cups my face with both hands, forcing me to meet his eyes.

“Hey…” His voice is tender now, a deep, comforting lull.

“Are you really feeling okay love?"

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat suddenly unbearable.

“Yes, don't worry Lan. I'm fine.”

I whisper, my voice slightly breaking as I fight the urge to lean on him completely.

I stare up at him, feeling a mix of love and pain.

I don’t want to be the one who holds him back, but I can’t deny how much I crave the support and warmth he gives me without even thinking.

Lando lowers his hands, but not without giving me one last comforting touch, his fingers brushing my wrist.

“You need to rest,” he says firmly, but there’s a hint of playfulness behind his words now.

“I’m not going to let you make it through today without me taking care of you at least once.”

I laugh softly, despite the dizziness still swirling in my head.

“I’m fine, Lando. You go be amazing out there.”

He looks at me, his eyes soft but filled with determination. “I will be. But only because you’re here.”

Before I can say anything else, he leans in, planting a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“I’ll be right back, okay? I’ll make sure to get at least P3 for you.”

And with that, he’s gone, disappearing into the crowd of engineers and teammates.

But the moment he’s out of sight, I feel my energy drain completely.

Regardless of how I felt I still made my way to the rest so I could support Lando and be there for him.

Everywhere I look, there’s movement, excitement, and a sense of urgency.

Lando’s already suited up and surrounded by his team, getting ready to focus on the race that could mean everything for his career.

I’m supposed to be the one cheering him on, being his support, his calm, but instead, all I can do is try to survive the overwhelming wave of heat coursing through me.

Every few seconds, my head spins, my chest feels like it's on fire, and the nausea rolls in like a tide.

It’s getting harder to keep it together, but I’m trying. I can’t let anything distract him.

I can't make this his problem today, not when he’s been working so hard for this moment.

I take a seat next to Max and Pietra, hoping the three of us can keep the mood light and give Lando a little peace before he heads into the race.

I force myself to laugh at Max's joke about the weather, but it comes out more like a wheeze.

My throat feels like it’s coated in something dry and scratchy, and each breath feels like I’m not getting enough air.

Max doesn’t notice, but Pietra does.

She’s always been that way, observant, kind, and so very perceptive.

I’ve always admired how in tune she is with people.

She shifts in her seat beside me, her eyes narrowing as she studies my face.

“You okay, Y/n?” she asks gently, her voice laced with concern.

“You look a little pale.”

I immediately try to put on a smile, but it feels like the most exhausting thing I’ve done all day.

“I’m fine, really,” I say, hoping I can convince her.

“Just a little tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.”

Pietra doesn’t buy it, not even for a second.

She leans in closer, her gaze steady as she inspects my face, my trembling hands.

“You sure?” she presses, her brow furrowing.

“You don’t look fine. Maybe you should lay down for a bit?”

The room suddenly feels like it’s closing in on me.

The dizziness that had been simmering beneath the surface is starting to take hold, and it’s all I can do to keep my eyes focused on her.

I swallow hard, trying to push the wave of nausea down, but it’s impossible to ignore now.

I nod weakly, doing my best to stay composed.

“I’m okay, Pietra. Just... a little dizzy. I think I’ll sit down for a moment.”

Max, still glued to his phone, glances up briefly, probably sensing the shift in the air.

His eyes scan me quickly before he leans closer to Pietra, muttering something under his breath, probably about how pale I look.

I’m about to wave it off, to reassure them both that it’s nothing, when Pietra’s soft hand touches my shoulder.

It’s warm and grounding, her touch gentle but insistent.

“No, you’re not okay, Y/n,” she says firmly.

“You’re not fooling me. You need to go back to the hotel and rest. Max and I will handle everything here. Don’t worry about Lando. He’ll understand. He doesn’t need to know right now, and you’re not helping him by pretending you’re fine.”

My heart clenches at her words. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to make him worry.

He’s about to race, about to compete for something so important to him.

The last thing I want is to make this about me. But Pietra’s expression leaves no room for argument.

Her hand squeezes my shoulder, and I feel a wave of guilt hit me hard.

“I... I can’t just leave,” I whisper, my voice shaky.

“I don’t want him to—”

“Y/n,” Pietra interrupts, her voice soft but full of authority.

“Lando will be fine. He’ll be more upset if you stay here, pretending to be okay when you’re not. Let us take care of everything. He doesn’t need the distraction. He needs you to get better, not to keep pretending.”

I shake my head, still fighting it. “But he’s going to think I don’t care.”

“He knows you care. You don’t have to prove it by running yourself into the ground,” she says, her tone firm yet reassuring.

“You need to listen to your body. Max and I can make sure everything’s fine here.”

I hesitate for a moment, my vision swimming in and out of focus, and then I feel it, the dizziness getting worse.

My stomach turns violently, and I barely suppress a gasp. Before I can protest, Pietra’s up and at my side, helping me stand.

“Max,” she calls out to him, her voice tinged with urgency.

Max looks up from his phone, his attention now fully on us. He doesn’t need to ask questions.

Without a word, he stands, motions to security, and gestures for them to clear a path.

“We’re getting you back to the hotel,” Max says, his voice gentle but decisive.

“No arguments.”

I open my mouth to protest, to tell them I’m fine, but the dizziness overtakes me again.

I feel my legs wobble, my knees threatening to give way beneath me. The nausea is so strong now that I can’t hold it back any longer.

My head feels like it’s filled with cotton, and my heart races as I fight to keep everything together.

“Okay,” I whisper, too weak to resist any longer. “Okay, let’s go.”

Max’s arm wraps around my shoulder, steadying me as Pietra follows closely behind.

I glance over my shoulder at the paddock, seeing the hustle and bustle of the team preparing for the race.

And even though I want nothing more than to stay and support Lando, I know Pietra’s right, he doesn’t need to see me like this.

As we make our way out of the paddock, past the busy crew and excited fans, the world seems to blur again.

All I can think about is Lando, how much he’s worked for this, and how much I wish I could be there cheering him on.

But right now, all I can do is focus on getting back to the hotel and trying to heal.

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Pietra murmurs, sensing my anxiety.

“Lando will understand. We’ll make sure he stays focused.”

“Thank you,” I whisper back, squeezing her hand.

Max looks over at me, offering a reassuring smile.

“No problem, Y/n. We’ve got you.”

And as they guide me toward the exit, the sound of the engines roaring to life in the distance feels far away, almost like a distant memory.

All I can focus on is putting one foot in front of the other and hoping that, by the time Lando crosses the finish line, I’ll be okay.

Meanwhile,

The race was intense, there was no other way to describe it.

Lando’s heart was pounding, his breath coming in quick bursts as he fought to stay focused on the track ahead.

Each corner, each straightaway felt like it mattered more than the last.

The roar of the engine under him, the vibration in his hands as he gripped the wheel,it was like the world was screaming at him to push harder, to get everything he had into every lap.

And he did.

Adrenaline was coursing through his veins, the world outside of his car becoming a blur of colors and sounds.

But amidst the chaos, there was something else tugging at his mind, something he couldn’t quite shake.

Just before the race started, he had caught sight of Y/n sitting among their friends, looking beautiful as always, but something was... off.

Maybe it was the way she had looked at him, her tired eyes betraying a sense of exhaustion that didn’t quite match the energy of the day.

Or how quiet she seemed, like a flicker of something hidden behind her usual smile. He couldn’t pinpoint it, but something wasn’t right.

But there was no time for that.

He pushed those thoughts away, focusing back on the race, his hands steady on the wheel as he navigated the track with everything he had.

He couldn’t afford to think about anything but the next corner, the next lap, the next move.

And when he crossed the finish line, the elation of victory should’ve been enough to make everything feel perfect.

After all, he had gotten P2.

The cheers, the confetti, the roar of the crowd, it was everything he’d been working for, everything he’d dreamed of.

But in the midst of it all, he couldn’t shake the nagging thought of Y/n.

His gaze searched the area, instinctively looking for her.

He was surrounded by teammates, sponsors, friends, but all he wanted in that moment was to see her smile, to know she was okay.

He scanned the area again, but she wasn’t there.

Not where he had left her. His stomach tightened, his mind racing. Something wasn’t right.

Lando quickly moved through the crowd, dodging everyone on his way, his eyes darting between faces, searching for any sign of her.

He was so focused on finding her, he almost didn’t see Max and Pietra standing off to the side.

When he finally noticed them, his heart skipped a beat. You weren't there.

Lando’s pace quickened as he approached them, his voice betraying the worry he couldn’t hide.

���Where’s Y/n?” he asked, his words coming out sharper than he intended.

Pietra exchanged a glance with Max before she sighed, the look on her face telling Lando everything he needed to know.

"She wasn’t feeling well," she said softly, her eyes clouded with concern.

"We had to send her back to the hotel."

Lando’s chest tightened, a heavy weight settling over him.

His pulse quickened, the sudden rush of guilt and worry clouding his thoughts.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” The words slipped out before he could stop them, his voice rising slightly, not in anger, but in genuine confusion.

Max stepped forward, his expression calm but serious.

"Mate she didn’t want to distract you. She said it was important not to take your focus away from the race."

Lando’s mind was spinning now, the elation of his victory evaporating as quickly as it had come.

Guilt was flooding him, he couldn’t believe Y/n had been struggling, that she’d hidden it from him.

She’d always been there for him, supportive, understanding, even when he was caught up in his own world.

And now, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d let her down.

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, but the weight of the situation was suffocating.

He didn’t know what to say.

All he could think about was how she had been sitting there, probably feeling miserable, and he hadn’t even noticed.

The race, his career, all of it felt so insignificant compared to the thought of Y/n being alone and sick.

“Why didn’t she just tell me? I would’ve understood. I could’ve—”

Pietra stepped forward, her hand gently resting on his arm, grounding him in the moment.

“Lando, she didn’t want you to worry. She knew how much today meant to you. She didn’t want to take that away from you.”

Max nodded in agreement.

“She’s always there for you. But she’s not the type to let herself be a distraction, not when you’re in the zone like that. You know how she is, she cares about you more than anything, but she didn’t want to pull you away from your focus.”

Lando let out a long breath, feeling like the weight of the world was pressing down on his chest.

“I should’ve noticed,” he muttered, his gaze dropping to the ground.

"I should’ve been paying more attention."

"You’re not a mind reader, Lando," Pietra said, her voice calm but firm.

Lando realized that she was right.

He quickly greeted the rest of his family and did some other duties before changing and heading back to the hotel.

Lando arrived at the hotel room, his body still buzzing from the race, but his mind consumed by a different kind of worry.

As soon as he entered, the first thing he did was quietly close the door behind him.

The soft hum of the air conditioning and the dim light from the lamps were the only sounds in the room.

His eyes immediately fell on your figure, still asleep, your peaceful face glowing softly under the sheets.

The sight of you, so vulnerable yet so beautiful, made his heart ache with both affection and guilt.

He quietly pulled a chair from the small desk and sat down beside the bed, never taking his eyes off you.

He wanted to be close to his girl, but he didn’t want to wake you.

He knew you needed rest, but the worry of the day, the worry about you, hadn’t let up.

He reached out, brushing a lock of hair from your face.

His fingers lingered there for a second before he let out a soft breath, resting his chin in his hand, his elbow on his knee.

He could almost hear the questions running through his mind, wondering why you hadn’t told him what you had been feeling.

He could feel the weight of your absence, the quiet ache in his chest from not knowing exactly what had been going on with you.

The minutes seemed to stretch on, each tick of the clock amplifying his thoughts.

He hated this uncertainty, this feeling that something had been left unsaid.

Then, after what felt like forever, a soft groan escaped from your lips, and Lando’s attention snapped to her immediately.

Your eyes fluttered open, blinking against the dim light in the room.

Your gaze slowly focused on him, confusion settling on her face as she took in her surroundings.

Lando watched her with a mix of relief and concern, his heart lightening at the sight of you waking up but still heavy with the questions that lingered in his mind.

"Hey, sleepyhead," Lando said softly, his voice full of warmth and affection.

My vision cleared, and I smiled sleepily at him.

Lando’s heart squeezed.

"You’re awake. I’ve been here waiting for you to wake up for, like, ages now." He chuckled softly, though his eyes were still filled with concern.

"But seriously… why didn’t you tell me?"

I sighed, feeling the weight of everything pressing on me.

My hand reached for his, finding his fingers weakly, and I squeezed them, my fingers trembling a bit.

"I didn’t want to be a burden," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I didn’t want to ruin your day or take away from the race. It was important to you. I just… I didn’t want to distract you."

Lando smiled at me softly, his thumb gently stroking the back of my hand.

"You’re never a burden, Y/n." He looked at me with such sincerity, it made my heart ache in the best way.

"You are always my priority, okay? Not the race, not the fans, not the win. You. Always."

I felt my heart flutter at his words, my eyes softening as I looked back at him.

The tears I’d been holding back threatened to spill, and I could feel them welling up.

Being sick just makes people extra emotional, give it a break yeah?

"I’m sorry," I murmured, my voice breaking slightly.

Lando shook his head, his heart aching.

He leaned closer, cupping my cheek gently, his thumb brushing over my skin.

"You don’t have to apologize," he whispered.

"You never have to hide anything from me, especially not when it comes to you."

I felt the weight of his words, the tenderness in his touch, and I wanted so badly to just melt into him.

I was so grateful for him, for the way he always made me feel safe, loved, and heard.

Lando sat beside me on the bed, leaning back just enough to grab the water and medicine he’d set out earlier.

"You need to drink this," he said softly, his voice gentle but firm.

"Get some rest, and I’ll be right here with you. Just take it easy."

I hesitated for a moment, but then reached for the glass of water he held out to me.

My fingers were still shaking slightly, but I took it from him gratefully.

There was a small, tired smile on my lips as I drank, and Lando’s eyes never left me.

He was watching me closely, making sure I was okay. It felt nice to be looked after this way.

After I finished the water, Lando sat back down next to me again, his hand finding mine once more.

"You don’t ever have to hide something like that from me, okay?" he said, his voice soft but serious.

"If something’s wrong, you have to tell me. Promise me you’ll tell me next time."

I looked up at him, my eyes full of emotion, and I nodded slowly.

The tears I’d been holding back finally spilled over, and I felt a few of them slide down my cheeks.

Before I could say anything, Lando quickly wiped them away with his thumb, his touch light, tender.

"I’m sorry," I whispered again, my voice barely audible.

He slightly laughed, "You're such a crybaby when you're sick babe."

Lando leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment.

"You don’t have to apologize," he said, his voice full of love and affection.

"I love you, baby. I love you, and that’s all that matters." His voice was quiet but strong, filled with reassurance.

I pulled him closer, resting my head against his chest, letting out a small, exaggerated sigh.

"Mmm, this is the best pillow ever," I mumbled, half-laughing, half-groaning in exhaustion.

Lando wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in tighter.

His chin rested on top of my head, and he chuckled softly.

"You come first," he said with a mock-serious tone, trying to sound all deep and dramatic.

"Always."

I snuggled in a little closer, feeling his warmth.

"Oh, I know now," I said, glancing up at him with a grin.

"You’re basically my personal butler, aren’t you? Always there when I need you."

He let out a dramatic gasp. "But of course! My whole existence is to serve you, my queen."

I rolled my eyes, fighting back a laugh.

"Thank you for being here," I said, the words half-sweet, half-teasing.

Lando smirked, pressing a kiss to my hair.

"Please don't cry again... and well yeah, where else would I be? I’m not going anywhere."

Then, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, he added,

"Besides, you’ve got me wrapped around your finger. You know that, right?"

I couldn’t help but laugh lightly, feeling him grin against the top of my head.

"Oh, I know," I said, playfully tapping his chest.

"You're my big soft marshmallow. I practically own you."

Lando chuckled, his arms tightening around me. "You absolutely do. And you’re not even sorry about it."

I smirked, rolling my eyes. "Well, I am your number one priority, aren’t I?"

His eyes sparkled with affection, and he pulled me a little closer.

"You’re my number one everything, Y/n. No competition."

I snorted, unable to help the grin that spread across my face.

"Good. Glad we’re clear on that."

As we sat there, wrapped up in each other, the world outside felt miles away.

All that mattered was us, his heartbeat, my tired sighs, and the way we fit together like we’d always been meant to.

For a moment, everything else faded, and all I could think was: Yeah, I’m the lucky one.

The end

[lostintransist]

Broken Beyond Bearing | Part 3

-.-. …. .. .-.. -.. .-. . -. / -.— —- ..- -. —. / .- … / - . -.

Part 1 found here.

CW: A/B/O sexism I guess is what we should call this? Trauma reactions to doctors, awful in world politics.

Keeping his eyes on you Kyle’s concern rises with each shallow breath you suck between your teeth.

The nurse had been watching and held the door open as he directed Kyle to the first room on the right. Settling your body flat on the table he steps back, trying to give the nurse room to move. With two chairs, a small counter and a sink, and a ‘calming’ green on the walls the room looks exactly like he expects it to.

“How long ago was the exposure?” The nurse is taking your vitals and you stiffen as if your body hit rigor. “Ma’am if you don’t relax this is going to take longer.”

“Less than thirty minutes,” Kyle answers coolly.

The whine, primal and terrified, that comes from your throat as the blood pressure cuff is tightening has Kyle moving to where your head lays. Running the back of his knuckles down your cheeks he whispers to you. The scent of your fear, clear and uncontaminated with whatever afflicted you normally, flooded the room.

“Hey, hey. I’m here. You’re not alone. Everything will be okay.”

The nurse, an alpha by scent, makes a noise that pulls Kyle to look at him. The nurse, Johnson by the glance to his name tag, keeps his eyes on the monitor taking your blood pressure and pulse. Kyle focuses back on you. Your body regains mobility as the cuff is removed, eyes rolling like a horse looking for a place to run.

“Her vitals are all looking normal, the doctor will be in shortly,” Johnson shuts the door behind him. He must not be far enough away from the door when he starts talking to someone else. “Beta bitch in room one has track marks up both arms. I knew betas died from drugs more than any other gender but it’s wild to see that out here.”

Kyle would have stormed out the door to rip into the man if your hands hadn’t slapped into his, holding them tight. Pulling yourself upright from the reclined position you tuck your knees to your chest and rest your chin atop them. Letting go of his hands you curl them around your legs.

Sitting on a chair positioned next to the bed Kyle looks up at you, trying to catch your eyes.

“Even when he could see the streaks of color through your irises no recognition lit your features. Concerned, Kyle stays sitting on the bed with you watching each breath and twitch. Nothing changes until the door opens with a faint knock.

“My name is Doctor Chen. Can you tell me what happened today?”

Like an automaton, you uncurl from your crunched position. Legs folded you straighten your back and rest your forearms on your knees palms aimed at the ceiling. Kyle had seen poses similar in meditation videos he would watch sometimes to give his mind a moment to relax. There is no peace in your pose. The width of your open eyes and the shallowness of your breath all remind him of victims he has saved from torture.

Memories that left their marks on his bones should not be reflected in your posture, he faced evil abroad and in the mirror to keep people like you safe.

He glanced at the man, dark hair, light blue scrubs, thick-rimmed glasses, and a white overcoat Kyle mostly associated with lab work. A quick draw of breath and Kyle marked him as an alpha. Dr. Chen did not look at you once, eyes staying firmly on him.

“We had an exposure to an allergen.”

Dr. Chen nodded once and sat on the small, wheeled stool that Kyle only ever saw in doctor’s offices. He wondered if they had to special order them or if they appeared in the building like fairies to offers of milk and bread. The man logged into his computer with a swipe of his name tag to an RFID reader and tapped a few buttons before turning to look at Kyle again.

“Do you know what the allergy was in reaction to?” He adjusts his glasses further up his nose.

“We don’t and would like to get some testing. Does this clinic do testing?” Kyle asked; all of his medical care happened on base.

Dr. Chen’s eyes glanced at you for the first time with a flare of his nose as he took in the fear salting the room with your uniquely beta scent. Kyle knew deeper than his marrow that you could turn off his brain and any explosive rage that he dealt with being an alpha. You didn’t use that now, but by the gods, he wished you would. The flash of disgust that whipped across Dr. Chen’s face ignited the soul-deep rage that existed with being an alpha.

“Dr. Chen,” the darkness, power, in Kyle’s voice brought the doctor’s face to him. “You will treat my wife with respect or I will ensure you don’t live to regret it.”

The cloying, nose-coating scent of Dr. Chen’s alpha rising to meet the challenge filled Kyle’s nose. He let the monster rise in his eyes, keeping his scent muted. Military training had to be good for something beyond the battlefield.

Kyle stands, placing his body between the doctor and the bed where you sit. Arms crossed and shoulders spread wide he used the mass of his bulk to show the barrier he could be. He didn’t know you, but Kate had seen something that prompted her to give them the care over you. You would not feel any harm if he could prevent it. You started to rock softly, eyes still unseeing. Then you begin to hum Edelweiss, effectively breaking the tension. Chen lost the staring match when he glanced at you.

“Do your job doctor, so I don’t have to.”

“That is out of line Mr—”

“Sergeant, special forces.”

Dr. Chen’s eyes narrowed but accepted the correction.

“Sergeant, your wife is doing fine by her visual inspection and her vitals agree. This clinic does not offer allergy testing but there are a few private practices here that you can call.” He turned back to his computer, typing in what Kyle assumed to be a summary of the visit today. “Most of what we do here for allergies is to stop the reaction and watch for any adverse effects.”

“I will need a copy of that report for our records,” Kyle stated it like a command he would give a private or a trainee. A firm ‘this is the course of action you will be taking’ that did not leave any room for questions or disobedience.

If Dr. Chen thought of arguing with Kyle, he kept it to himself. He left shortly after with a comment that Johnson would be in soon with the paperwork he requested. That is how Johnny found them, Kyle’s arms crossed and holding back his rage and you the juxtaposition of a peaceful body and an absent mind.

“You are more than you appear, wife,” Johnny took your hand, curling fingers around palms.

They wait in the cadence of your voice for nearly five minutes before Johnson appears, papers in hand. Kyle snaps a vice grip around the man’s wrist, pulling him close.

“Johnson. If I hear you telling tales about betas, and more specifically about my wife I will paint the walls of your room with colors not even crime techs will unsee.”

The man under his eyes paled quite impressively. Plucking the papers from his hand Kyle dropped Johnson’s hand and turned to his pack mate and partner in crime. Johnny’s thumb traced a track along the back of your hand as he watched the interaction play out before him.

“Can you carry her to the truck?”

Johnny’s eyes flicked as he watched the nurse flee from the room.

“Yeah. Up you pop bonnie,” he settled one arm over his shoulder and then the other before lifting you under the thighs to settle around his waist.

Still, you hummed, no life in your form. Kyle had a glare and a harsh, nose-blistering scent of rage for anyone who looked too long. Johnny settled in the back seat with you, buckling you into the middle so he could keep a hand on you and Kyle could check on you in the review mirror.

The drive home is tense, filled only with Kyle’s quiet mutterings about inexperienced winter drivers. When he turns onto the path home Johnny asks a question.

“What the hell happened in the clinic when I was on the phone with John?”

The steering wheel creaks under the pressure of Kyle’s hands.

“Nurse and doctor had some awful things to say about our wife, called her a drug addict, and couldn’t keep professional.”

“The hell? Why did they do that?” Johnny’s face in the rearview is tight with angry concern.

“It’s due to the beta laws that went into place ten…eleven? Yeah maybe eleven years ago.” Your voice is an unexpected addition to the conversation.

Kyle slows to a stop in the snow, throwing the truck in park and turning to look at you.

“What beta laws?”

He knows his gaze is harsh when you flinch back. Johnny wraps an arm around you and you settle a bit.

“There were laws on the books for a long time that weren’t really enforced,” you swallow and look from man to man before staring at your knees and continuing. “About how betas weren’t allowed the same personhood rights as alphas and omegas due to the lack of either consistent rut or heat. Apparently, the ability to do both is scary to the government. Several years back a group successfully passed a new law that said basically that betas should be treated like children, unable to sign paperwork without an approving authority, have bank accounts alone, apply for a credit card, or passport, you name it without the approval of an alpha or omega. In some places it went beyond that, stripping beta’s of all rights.”

Johnny muttered under his breath something that sounded like ‘What the fuck’ but Kyle kept his eyes on you.

“What happened to you?” His whisper hardens on your skin like ice.

There is no weak, scared beta woman here, only a beast that would peel him apart if he pushed. He didn’t scare her, but doctors did.

“No.”

Nodding once and accepting the answer Kyle turned back to driving. He would discuss this all with the guys after they had settled into bed. The interactions with the clinic staff were nothing like he had ever experienced before. Though as he thought of it he couldn’t remember the last time he had worked with a beta.

Simon and John step onto the porch as Kyle parks, as if they had been keeping watch for them.

The four men set about their tasks, hauling everything inside. You follow when Johnny reaches into the back seat and helps you out, hand tucked in his as he carries in a few bags. Simon sets about setting up the bed they picked for your room. Johnny settles you at the table, laughing and joking at you as he prepares a plate of food. Kyle and John set to work on creating the dresser. They don’t hear you laugh at any of Johnny’s stories but John points to you once and Kyle catches a glimpse of a smile. The sun slips away into the trees as each of the men finishes their task. Once the bed is made and the mattress settled on the frame John and Kyle lift the dresser into place.

The three men who had built things collapsed onto the couch facing the back wall of windows into the woods. Simon is settled between John and Kyle an arm dropped around each of them. You are standing on the back porch, head tilted back as you look at the ink-dark sky. The coat and boots you wear are those picked up today. Kyle didn’t think to wonder where Johnny had gone until he bounced down the steps with a bright bundle of fabric over one shoulder as he shoved a beanie on his head.

“Where ya going, Johnny?” Simon pitches his voice to carry but not to shout.

“Gonna give our wife a gift,” he winks at his lovers and pops out the back door.

Simon tightens the arm around Kyle.

“He loves you. That won’t change if he chooses to love someone new as well,” John murmured.

Kyle looked over at John who lay his head fully on Simon, nose buried in the scent gland at his neck. John licks the length of the gland causing Simon to let out a short whine.

Glancing back out to the back porch Kyle watches Johnny settle a shawl across your shoulders and sees in your profile confusion, hesitance. When you look down and clutch the shawl tight to your chest Kyle could only call the look on your face concerned acceptance. Johnny grinned at you like the sun had risen.

“To bed Simon, I can feel you grumble. Your rut starts soon. Let Johnny get our wife settled and let Kyle and I get you into bed.” John pushes up from the couch pulling Simon with him.

Kyle stands as well, eyes drifting to you and Johnny one last time. Standing side by side the two stare at the stars. John calls him from his observations and Kyle starts up the stairs after his lovers. His other lover will arrive with time.

Broken Masterlist | Masterlist

@lucienofthelakes @gg-trini @talia-the-gemini @thriving-n-jiving @z-wantstowrite @asialovesyou09 @literallegendicon @canthavetoomuchchaos @reinekoya @jsptmoche @demothers-empty-blog @hbaasaad

[emsdevs]

The Return

Bear and Bug 🐻🐞

a/n: surprise!! kirby talked me into splitting this part up, so you all get one more part of the main conflict after this!! enjoy!!!

masterlist | NHL Masterlists | Bear and Bug Masterlist

Three weeks had passed since you arrived at Cole’s place, and he’s been trying everything under the sun to get you to return to the lake house with him. Today, after getting out of bed, you find out he’s pulled out the big guns. When you walk into the living room, you’re met with not only Cole but also Trevor and Alex. Apparently, Cole had filled them in on the situation, and they changed their flights to Montreal to come help. 

“C’mon. It can’t be that bad. I know for a fact Jack misses you,” Trevor is currently trying to encourage you to come with them, your packed suitcase sitting beside him. At some point during the night, they had snuck into your room and packed your bags, leaving you with no “good” excuse not to go with them.

“You talked to him?” your head shoots toward Trevor, hope filling your eyes. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as you thought.

“...No,” he looks toward the ground as he speaks, “but! I know Jack, and I know he’s probably falling apart at the seams if you two haven’t talked in three weeks. You’re his person. He’s probably dying right now.”

“Oh, great. I’m killing my best friend! This is exactly what I was worried about when Quinn and I got together. He’s been having such a tough time, and I’ve made it a hundred times worse. I’ll be lucky if he ever talks to me again.”

“You’re right. She is being dramatic,” Alex whispers to Cole before stepping forward to try to comfort you. “Look, sweetheart, the only way to make this any better is to bite the bullet. I know you’re scared, but you can’t keep running away from it.”

You were silent for a moment, shocked by the wisdom from Alex. After gathering your thoughts, you spoke, “You’re right. Let me go be sure you all got everything, and then we can head out.”

“No way that worked,” Cole couldn’t believe their plan worked in their favor.

“Bro, when did you become a shrink?”

~~

The tension at the lake house was higher than ever. Ellen and Jim had given up on trying to help their sons work out their issues, so they drove back home for a while, letting the boys stew in their anger. The boys had done nothing except that. Quinn and Luke silently shared an alliance while Jack either ignored them completely or began picking fights. 

“Hope you two are ready to go running back to your precious Bug,” Jack told the other two boys as he walked to the kitchen to grab a snack.

“What do you mean?” Luke answered, sass written all over his question.

“Trev just texted me. He, Alex, and Cole just boarded their flight. With Bug.”

“She’s coming back?” Quinn couldn’t hide the hope in his voice. He didn’t care how Jack felt anymore. He was miserable, and he needed his Bug. 

“Don’t get all excited. That doesn’t mean she’s getting back together with you,” Jack rolled his eyes.

“Don’t tell me you think she’s coming back for you,” Luke doesn’t even attempt to hide the sneer in his voice.

“She’s my best friend, Lukey. Of course, she’s coming back to get in my good graces.” 

“Are you kidding me? Look at how you’ve been treating her, Jack! We’re all lucky she’s even coming back at all!” Quinn is angry now. You’ve probably been hurting more than he has for the past three weeks, and Jack is acting all high and mighty like you’ll come crawling back to him. As far as Quinn is concerned, you don’t need to come crawling back to anybody. If anything, the three of them owe you an apology.

“Of course, you’re sticking up for her! God, she has you wrapped around her finger! You’re so whipped you can’t see that she’s the problem here!”

“No, you don’t get to do that. You know Quinn is right. You’ve been horrible to her, and she deserves an apology. From all of us, honestly. Jesus, I mean, she even put you’re feelings above her happiness. She and Quinn could have been so happy, but you were complaining about how horrible the NHL is every night, so her main concern was protecting you. Mind you, you are not one of the two people in that relationship, so the fact she took your feelings about it into account at all is a kind of grace that you obviously don’t deserve. Why don’t you get down from your high horse and think about everything Bug has done for you? Then, you can tell us if she’s the one that needs to apologize or not,” Luke doesn’t give Jack time to answer, walking off as soon as he finishes his speech. Quinn doesn’t hesitate in following, only giving Jack a sharp look before making his way to your room once again. He found Luke already there, so they sat on your bed together, putting on a movie and soon falling asleep.

Jack, now alone in the living room, takes the time to do as Luke said. He thought back to when he knew you’d be his best friend forever. You two had silently agreed to have separate friend groups at school, but when you saw Jack’s friends had left him alone one day at lunch, you left your friends to go sit with him. They stopped talking to you after that, but you were fine with it because you had Jack. He thought about everything you had sacrificed for him, even skipping out on joining an afterschool club because it would conflict with some of his game times. How many times had you put Jack first, even when you could’ve had something really good for you if you had put yourself first? He could think of at least one: Quinn. He’s a horrible best friend. 

Jack lost track of how long he sat there, losing himself in his thoughts that were slowly becoming more and more self-deprecating, but before he knew it, he heard the front door opening. Moments later, he jumps to his feet when he sees you walk into the living area.

“Hey,” he says, slightly out of breath.

“Hey.”

taglist: @heartsforjh @devilinpradaheels @coldheartedmar @juxmi @puckmedude @alexxavicry @dancerbailey3 @hockey43 @madebyhappymeals @ccomandercody @kirajessie @beenucks @iamspeed6

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[blue-aconite]

"Would you please just kiss me?" With Jake Seresin!

I would apologise for not posting sooner but we all know how life gets. Without further explanation, here's your blurb ♥️ Thanks @a-reader-and-a-writer for looking this over!

Blurb Night Masterlist

It’s been over half an hour since she left the Hard Deck, wandering out onto the beach and walking along the shore. She hadn’t gone far, close enough that the light coming out of the windows was still visible but far enough that she could no longer hear the people out on the patio. 

The sun disappeared some moments ago and the moon is taking its place, casting a cold grey light over the sand. 

“What are you doing out here?”

She keeps her eyes on the waves, tracing the overlaps and motions, even as she answers him. “Thinking.”

She’s hoping the short answer will be enough, that he’ll go back inside and leave her alone but fate has other plans. She should have known it wouldn’t be enough. Like a dog with a bone, Hangman wasn’t the one to let things go. 

Her hope is further crushed when he comes closer, taking a seat in the sand next to her. He’s close enough so that she can feel the heat emitting from his body, his cologne invading her senses. Not in an unpleasant or unwelcome way, just in a way she hadn’t expected. 

“You know, there’s a party going on inside, yet you’re out here alone, thinking.” Hangman says, leaning back onto his elbows and stretching his legs out. She doesn’t look away from the water but his movements can be seen in the corner of her eye. 

“Which is exactly why I’m here. Too loud to think in there. Out here though? It’s quiet, simple.” She murmurs, drawing her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.  She can feel his eyes on her, watching her. “What do you want?”

Hangman takes a moment to answer, as if he has to decide what to say. “I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“I’m good, thanks.” She’d rather lie than tell him what’s really bothering her. There’s no reason for him to know. He wouldn’t even understand.

Unfortunately, Hangman sees right through her. “Could have fooled me.”

He pulls himself upright, matching her position. It’s odd seeing him look so vulnerable, smaller than he usually presents himself to be. 

When she doesn’t reply, he hesitantly continues, as if he’s afraid she’s going to run off if he pushes too far. “You can talk to me, you know. If something’s bothering you. You’d probably prefer Phoenix or Bob but I don’t see them running out here to check on you.”

She rolls her eyes at the last bit. Even when he’s trying to comfort her, he can’t help but take a shot at their teammates. It’s all in good nature nowadays, but it’s so predictably Hangman that it makes her smile. His concern is touching but she still keeps her guard up. 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” she pauses slightly before adding, “but thank you.” 

Hangman shifts, turning his body sideways so he is closer than before. “I think there is something to talk about, you just don’t want to.”

If getting on her nerves is his mission, he’s succeeding at an alarming rate. Gone is the gratefulness at his earlier offer. “And pray tell, Hangman, what would that be, hm?” She spits out, unsuccessful in keeping the annoyance out of her voice. She knows it isn’t fair to react this way, not when he’s been nothing but kind to her but anything to steer him away from the conversation she doesn’t want to happen.

Hangman holds his hands up, as if to placate her. “Maybe the fact that you’ve been avoiding me ever since Payback’s birthday? The fact that whenever we’re off base, you slink away to sit somewhere by yourself? Or maybe we should talk about how we kissed and you refuse to talk about it?”

Fuck.

The last part of his rant makes her tear her gaze from the water, swirling around in the sand to face him. They end up close, too close, but neither moves. “You remember that?”

It’s a weak response, she knows that but it’s the only thing she can come up with. 

The look in his eyes portrays disbelief. “Of course I remember. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you were drunk? And you didn’t talk to me for the whole day afterwards, so I figured it was just something.. -”

“I didn’t talk to you because when I woke up, you were gone. I wasn’t going to hunt you down over something you clearly regretted but I still think we should talk about it.”

She knows they need to address the whole situation but as he speaks, she can only focus on one thing. “You think I regret it?”

Now he’s the one refusing to meet her eyes. “What was I supposed to think? Like I said, you’ve been avoiding me ever since, so I figured you were just trying to let me down easy without having to say something, which is a shitty move by the way, even for you -”

“Let you down easy?” She’s full of bewilderment at this point and while she knows what he’s insinuating, she can’t make herself believe it. There is no possibility, she’d been telling herself for months. 

“Oh, spare me. You can’t honestly make me believe you don’t know. I think I’ve been very clear about my feelings for you.” Jake declares, a distinct look in his eyes as he straightens up. But the vulnerability on his face betrays his emotions, even if his voice stays strong. 

She feels like she’s falling, a wide black abyss consuming her entire being. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought she’d find herself in the situation. “You have feelings for me?”

She’s well aware that she should probably try to unearth more but she’s still not entirely sure she isn’t hallucinating. This can’t possibly be happening.

Jake laughs incredulity. “Are you telling me you actually don’t know?”

“Well, you never said anything!” She implores.

“I didn’t think I had to! It's pretty obvious.” He responds, shrugging his shoulders like he didn’t just drop a major bomb on her.

She throws her arms out, almost whacking him in the face. “OBVIOUS? How about you use your words instead of just thinking I can read your mind? I had no idea!”

“Why would I kiss you, if I didn’t like you?”

She stares at him blankly, at a loss for words. Everything she had wanted since her stupid crush had manifested itself was happening but for some reason, she couldn’t respond in the proper way. How many times had she wished he would reprecipitate the feelings she had developed for him during their time together? How much had she beaten herself up over kissing him back at Payback’s birthday almost a month ago, knowing that he didn’t feel the same, knowing it was the alcohol? 

She’s vaguely aware that he’s speaking again but her mind is racing, as is her heart, and she blurts out the only thing she’s thinking about. “Would you please just kiss me? Again?”

[naehoonx]

" First Kiss " - caleb [ oneshot ]

→ SUMMARY: since you met caleb again in skyhaven many things had changed. why was your heart beating so fast whenever you were near him? why were your hands getting sweaty whenever he got closer? and why did it bother you so much that he never wanted to make the first move?

→ GENRE: fluff; awkward; innocent; shoujo like love.

→ RATING: 15+

→ NOTE: i started playing LADS last year in december while i was suffering a bad writing block. first i fell deeply in love with zayne but the moment caleb was released .. i resonated with him more? i love the childhood friends to lovers trope + the angst the both of them embodied. the losing and finding each other while still keeping secrets from another. i hope you enjoy it!

♡.°₊ˎ SONG FOR THIS ONESHOT

it was another normal day in skyhaven for you. caleb and you were fighting again, over the most dumb thing, like always. maybe that was a perk of being childhood friends for so long but it was really draining at the same time. you didnt even knew what triggered it this time. the only words which left your mouth were " maybe you shouldnt come with me to this mission." yeah, thinking back to those words, you needed to admit that it was dumb to speak them out loud. considering how caleb could be whenever it concerned your safety. another huff left his lips as he leaned against the kitchen counter, not understanding why you're not wanting him by your side. without him every mission posed as a threat to your safety in caleb's eyes and somehow it irritated you. why was he so overprotective of you and why did it bother you so much that he never spoke it out loud. is it so hard to tell you that he's worried about you?

"you act like a damn child caleb. i can take care of my own and you know that!" your voice was already strained from all the arguing as you looked over at him.

caleb wasnt facing you, instead he was staring at the kitchen counter as he clutched his hand against the smooth surface. you noticed early on that this was some kind of habit of him.

"i know that you can take care of yourself but thats not the issue here" "then what is the issue here? Caleb you never tell me whats wrong, im always .. left with some weird puzzle pieces whenever we fight"

another frustrated huff left his lips as you could see how his fingernails dig into the flesh of his palm. he would hurt himself like this again but at the same time you remembered that he really cant. thanks to that mechanical arm of his, he cant feel anything beside immense pain. so digging his nails inside his palm wont do much damage to his body.

"caleb please" another try to press him to be honest with you and still, he kept looking away from you. carefully you took a step towards him before he finally turned his head into your direction. that was the first time you could see the colour red creeping up his cheeks. was he that angry with you?

"what do you want to hear from me Y/N? Tell me? I already told you that i wont let you go alone there!" "but why not! you never give me a reason!"

frustrated you lifted your arms over your head before you turned around on your heel. before you could take one step forward, into the living room, someones arm wrapped around your waist; pushing you back. it didnt took you long until you realized that caleb stood right behind you, his broad chest pressing against your back. for a moment your breath hitched at the same time your heart nearly bursts inside your chest.

"what do you want to hear Y/N ... tell me" caleb's voice was low as he leaned down to whisper against your ear. his grip tightening more around your waist. making it impossible to escape. your body suddenly starts to mold perfectly against his own. its like the two of you were made for each other. "tell me" goosebumps appeared on your arms as calebs lips nearly brushed against your ear. your whole body freezed on the spot as his hand over from your waist to your stomach. what was happening right now?

"i- ... i just want that you are being honest with me.. you always tell me i shouldnt fight alone and that i should rely on you more but .. why? You know im strong .. " another strong tuck forced your back against his chest. you didnt knew that being this close would be even possible. carefully you put your hand on calebs arm, the arm which held you firm ... the same arm which cant feel any warmth anymore.

now you heard calebs breath hitch. what were you two doing here? once there was a time when the two of you got along well and rarely fought with each other. now the both of you sometimes didnt even knew how to behave around each other. one month ago you suddenly became hyper aware of caleb as a man. suddenly you didnt saw him as some kind of childhood friend anymore .. there was something more whenever you looked at him or stole glanzes while he was working. deep down you had hoped that caleb feels the same way but he still kept treating you like the little girl he once took care of.

as you were deep inside your thoughts, caleb spun you around so you were looking up at him now. his ears were red too now, it looked really adorable. there it was again, that look in his eyes you couldnt put a name on it. Caleb looked helpless as he just kept staring at you, his lips parting just slightly as he wanted to say something. you knew better, he was holding back. probably all the things he wanted to tell you or something else. slowly your hand reached out to touch his cheek. his skin felt hot underneath your fingertips as you slid down to his chin.

"caleb please .. we cant keep fighting like this .. tell me already why you're so scared to let me go alone" pleading was seen in your eyes and maybe thats the reason why he finally broke his silence.

for a short moment caleb closed his eyes as your fingertips still lingered on his chin.

"its hard to put all the things i feel into words .. I- i want you to rely on me more because if you doesnt .. i feel like you will let go of me and walk away ... at the same time i dont want to lock you up here ... knowing damn well you are your own person. dont look at me like that Y/N ... i know you are strong and probably dont need me for anything but .. whenever i think about it .. you not needing me it feels like .. a knife pierces through my heart and i- "

before he could continue with his rambling you put a finger against his lips. all those words were enough for you. he literally opened his heart for you even if it was just a tiny little bit. caleb needed you, he was scared of losing you .. so it was fine to hope right?

biting down on your lip you put both hands against his cheeks. the confused look in his eyes was something you learned to adore. caleb always looked so cute whenever he didnt knew what you were up to now. slowly you got on your tip toes just to be a bit closer to him. your noses nearly touched as caleb took another shaky breath but he didnt dared to speak. if he was too scared to take the next step in your relationship you would do it. even if your heart is nearly bursting at the moment.

another hitched breath as your lips finally got in contact with his own, from that moment on everything was just a blurr. calebs arms wrapped tightly around your body as he captured your lips in a desperate manner. it felt like he was starving all those years and finally got to eat something again. from time to time he broke the kiss for a short moment, just to look at you with those eyes. eyes which were full of yearning, yes yearning. all those years he had looked at you like this and you never noticed it before. the world around you two didnt mattered anymore as caleb, once more, pressed his lips against yours. his own breathing was shaky as his body forced you near the sofa. even if you were stumbling a bit his strong arms were ready to catch you.

the moment the back of your knees touched the sofa, your butt fell onto the soft fabric. this time you got a better look at calebs face as he was hovering over you. one of his arms was placed beside your head against the sofa, so he wouldnt crash on top of you.

"who thought .. you could be this bold y/n .. "

a smirk formed on your face as you wrapped both arms around his neck, pulling him closer again "well ... you took too long caleb. a hunter wont wait forever for its prey."

the last thing you saw was a smiling caleb before he dived back in to capture your lips. this time in a much softer and tender kiss.

[megpricephotography]

For those who're following Flynn's health problems… update is below the cut. Not a great one, sadly.

We went back to the vets on Fri 31st Jan. Flynn had been on his new medicine - telmisartan - for 2 weeks. He's taking it in an effort to reduce the "leakiness" of his remaining kidney. I'd collected a sample for urinalysis a couple of days prior & we got blood taken on the day. Vet spoke to me Sat morning.

I'll start with the positives. Flynn's weight is still good. Actually, at any other time, I'd say he was actively too chubby but I've been intentionally stuffing his face with as much kidney-safe food as he'll eat & it's good he's heavy & good he's managed to gain a bit. As for blood work - Flynn's blood count is good, he isn't anaemic (a worry), electrolytes are normal.

However.

Urinalysis… unfortunately, Flynn's protein loss in his pee is sky high & still maxing out their machine. I wasn't shocked by this result, as telmisartan can take a bit of time to fully work & have an effect… & Flynn's only on a 1/2 dose for his weight. Still, I was obviously hoping for better news. I wish we could at least tell if we're heading in the right direction or not.

Blood work. Urgh. Sadly Flynn's now in Stage 2 of Chronic Kidney Disease. Technically, Stage 2 CKD is considered relatively "mild" & often manageable for a considerable length of time. The worry though, is that Flynn's kidney function seems to be deteriorating pretty fast. From what I've read, this isn't uncommon in dogs who've had high protein levels in their urine, plus, again: Flynn is down 1 kidney… Also, we're already doing what we can to support his kidney, & currently it doesn't seem to be helping much, if at all. Vet's previously said he fears Flynn's kidney has just sort of... reached the limit of what it can cope with.

For now, we're keeping Flynn on a 1/2 dose of telmisartan. Yes, we could increase it but telmisartan can cause side-effects (we're seeing some), including even kidney damage (tbh, I am worried it may be harming not helping… but then again, Flynn has seemed better able to keep weight on since taking meds so, who knows). Vet & I are concerned a full dose could be too much for Flynn to tolerate. We'll monitor, may increase the dose… may take him off it entirely. We are going to add a phosphate binder to his food, which can help maintain kidney function. Flynn's been on a renal diet for 18+ months. Some dogs with his symptoms are put on immunosuppressants, but my vet hasn't brought it up as an option & tbh, I'd be concerned about potential side-effects, although I may look into it more.

As for Flynn… eh, he's OK, for now… mostly, I think? He's sweet & wanting gentle pats, so I don't think he's hugely sore, or distressed. He's feeling sick at times (picky about food) but not sure if it's telmisartan or kidney disease. He's definitely tired & quiet & wanting to be home, warm. That's fine. We get out once or twice a day for a short walk, & he still seems interested in things. I've pulled old Barney's buggy out & started encouraging Flynn to hop in, for if/when he's at a point of wanting to go out but not walk far at all. Obviously, I am still very much trying to hold onto hope we can get him stabilised & keep him happy for some time to come but gosh it's hard & I am struggling to be overly optimistic. I guess all we can do is take each day as it comes.

Sorry for the long read, partly this is for me... I find it helps writing stuff down. Hug your dogs, guys & please think good thoughts for Flynnie.

[random-blurbs]

Lingering Feelings

caleb x reader

Laying down you heard his soft breaths right across from you. You couldn't believe he was right in front of you.

Your hand hovered over his mouth slightly agape as you felt his breath meet your palm.

He was alive and healthy. Yet he was different. So different than your Caleb. He still made sure that you were well taken care of. The bedroom you two share he fixed it where it resembled the one you had in your previous apartment. Living in a familiar room with the man you grew up with and love its strange. The feeling in your chest wouldn't go away. You are happy and you know it. But the pit in your stomach wouldn’t go away. And you desperately want it to.

Opening his eyes you pulled your hand back quickly as a knowing smile grazed his lips. “How long were you awake for?” He whispered out letting out a small yawn. “Not long just thinking.” He raised his eyebrow already catching the stress on your face. The furrow of your brow and as you bit your lip nervously he reached out trying to give it a rest. Already seeing the cuts littering them as he sat up concerned cradling your face. “Obviously not. Why don’t you tell me?” Even though it was a question it was more like command. Fitting his new persona.

A persona that is confusing you. He’s concerned for you as always but the commanding tone he takes. It scares you. “I still can’t believe it’s you.” You mumbled out holding onto his hand tighter as you took in his face. The same eyes that always held care for you. “What would make you believe me?” He tried helping your process in accepting him but your body wont let you.

Shaking your head you slightly pulled away from him leaving him hurt as he reluctantly put his hands away from you. “I don’t know it’ll probably just take awhile. I mean you understand right?” You cautiously said. He shook his head as he gritted his teeth. “I’ve been trying y/n.”

“It’s been months and you somehow refuse to accept me.” He was desperate as he tried looking for a in. But you had to look away if you saw the sadness in his eyes you would somehow cave. And he knows it.

“But you were supposed to be dead!” You finally yelled out. Frustrated that you had let it go months ago when you first saw him glad he was in front of you. “Don’t you get it! I grieved for you, I couldn’t sleep, eat, function, because I lost you!” You cried out as you see the flurry of emotions pass through his face. Your body felt too hot to be laying finally getting up, to get away from him. Your mind was reeling as you felt your breathing quicken. “You were gone, I lost my best-friend, my lover…”

It was strange.

On that day of the explosion you knew what you wanted. And you were tired of beating around the bush with him. You were practically always by one another’s side keeping any potential lovers away from one another. Kissing his cheek on graduation day was the seal that you thought he would take advantage of. But no he stayed at that. Just best friends helping each other keep potential lovers interests away.

“Do you not see me as anything more?” You had asked him tugging at your torn arm sleeve nervously.

“Hm? What’s gotten into you.” He jokingly said looking back at you. You bit your lip nervously as you thought of the consequences that might follow if you actually go through with it. “I’m not kidding Caleb! I actually want to talk to you about this.” You desperately said which he immediately fixed his attitude for. The playful glint left his eyes as he carried a concerned expression. “I’m sorry y/n. You can tell me I’ll listen.” You were grateful he was able to make you feel heard but feeling heard right now might be the death of you.

“Do you think we can be something more?” You nervously said as your expression fell to the floor not wanting to see anything disappointing on his face. ��W-what do you mean?” Letting out an exasperated sigh you couldn’t believe he wasn’t getting it. “I want to be your girlfriend you idiot or at least try dating!” You finally confessed gathering your strength to look at him. His expression had you stunned.

The confident Caleb you had always known who was never thrown off by your quick remark.

He was standing there his ears tinged red as he had one of his hands over his face trying to hide his expression. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Getting more confident you got closer to him as he turned his head away from you. “I do! I’m 100% in I just need to know if you are-umph!” Stumbling back you were surprised as you felt his soft lips against yours. The taste of iron had filled your tastebuds as you realized you made yourself bleed earlier. He didn’t seem to mind as he tilted your head back deepening the kiss not letting you have any control. And you didn’t mind. You love him. You learned that way too late.

The craving he had for you was unstoppable. He just needed the confirmation from you all these years. He was glad you did it now he didn’t know how long more he could’ve waited. But as he felt every part of you the warmth he craved is right in front of him now.

Finally pulling away from him you were breathing heavily as you felt your face hot with embarrassment. “Dammit!” Hiding your face with your hands you hear him laugh at your antics. “You can’t be embarrassed now, we’re going to do so much more than kiss-.”

“It’s not that!” You cut him off as you got annoyed that he thinks you couldn’t handle a simple kiss. “It’s the fact I wanted a cute confession or something from you but you just had to take your sweet time!” Laughing at you again he pet your head lovingly as you see him openly look at you with so much love. The sight filled your own heart with even more love.

“Ok I’m sorry I’ll set up an amazing jaw-dropping confession that you’ll forget that you even confessed me in such a desperate way.” Rolling your eyes you shoved him forward towards the house as he continued to laugh. “Whatever it better be the best thing I’ve seen.”

“Don’t worry I don’t plan on disappointing you. Now hurry up or you’re not getting anything!”

You wanted the feeling to last forever. You got practically everything you’ve wanted.

And just as quickly it was ripped away.

You couldn’t believe it. You had him. You were holding him. He was so close to you. And yet you lived. That thought had you wailing in pain as no one can bring you comfort. You lost those you wanted to protect. You lost your future with him and you just had him.

“You wouldn’t get it Caleb! I thought I lost everything, you became my everything!” You cried out as Caleb stood there guiltily.

Logically you know you shouldn’t be mad at him he told you the reason why. But everything that came after, that man you confessed to is gone. And that killed you because you still love him.

“I’m so sorry y/n if I had known everything from the start things would be so different. You wouldn’t be hurting like this.” He took careful steps towards you as you held yourself trying to soothe your shaking body. The anger, the guilt, the despair was tearing your body apart. He pulled you into his chest as you weakly grabbed his body not wanting to let go. Scared that if you push him away again he’ll leave. “But I’m here now and I’ll make it all right ok? I promise you y/n I will never hurt you like that again.” You shake your head at his words knowing where it’s going.

“Don’t make those promises Caleb, if you make that promise I swear-.”

“But I am.” Cradling your face he lifted it towards him the pain in his eyes were unforgettable as he tried soothing you. “I promise you I will never leave you like that again. I will do anything to keep you safe. I’ll do anything you want and I’ll get you everything you want.” Pressing light kisses over your face you closed your eyes trying to take everything in. Ingraining it into your memory as you remembered that the kiss you once shared was leaving your memory, you no longer remembered the feeling, his eyes, his smile and the thought had you dying. You want to remember it all.

“Don’t do that.” His voice was firm as the determination in his eyes was familiar. He knew you too well. “I won’t leave you with these memories. We’re going to make new ones over and over again. And you’ll remember it all.” You smiled at him sadly as he pinched your cheek pulling you out of your sadness monetarily. “What the-.”

“Let’s go.” Pulling your hand towards the closet he pulled out a sweater and threw it at you. “What are you doing?” You asked but without missing a beat you put it on. “We’re going out. We’re starting this right now.” He said confidently with a cheesy smile. He fixed your hair for you quickly smoothing it out as he tugged you towards the door. “Caleb it’s 5am what’s even open?”

He looked back at you and that smile of his. You forgot how much you missed it as your eyes widened. “Have I ever disappointed you-.”

“Yes.”

“Let me talk!” Chuckling you smiled at him fondly as he seemed disappointed that you messed with his speech.

“We’re going to make memories every day, every hour, every minute, and I promise you I’ll make up every minute of pain I brought you.” His hand left yours as he brought up his hand towards you. And he was standing there sweetly with his pinky up. “Really?”

“It’s not a promise unless we seal it.” Wiping your tears away sweetly with his other hand you interlocked your pinkies as he smiled at you not planning to let you go. No matter what he’ll keep you away from the painful world and keep you here where you can be happy; with him.

[andre-and-cal]

I NEED ANDRE AND CAL HCS!

Sure thing !! Hope you like! :3

General Andre and Cal Headcanons,,

Calvin tends to “tune out” Andre’s words whenever he’s explaining instructions to him— whether it be related to their Zero Day plans, board game rules, or other related topics. He frequently goes “Huh?” or “Hmmh?” when he’s not paying attention, to which Andre has to remind him about the topic and repeat his words over again. But he knows that Calvin can’t help it, and he generally doesn’t mind reminding him about different things— like homework, tests, etc. considering he has a better memory than Cal.

Andre and Cal watch malware-infested gore videos to further desensitize themselves to death and to sort of mentally prepare for Zero Day, and for the sake of watching people die. With the lack of concern yet interest in Cal’s eyes, Andre is both a little surprised, yet mostly unsurprised that Calvin reacts so indifferently to shock videos. He’d be a hypocrite if he labeled it as unsettling, after all. Their repeated pattern of watching these sorts of torture videos— especially when Cal can find “good ones” (in his words) at least— stemmed from the discovery of a website that showcased the aftermaths of car accidents. And after doing a little digging, Cal stumbled upon the leaked cartel videos section. He introduced the videos to Andre, and the other teen found himself getting intrigued by such graphic matter. Calvin describes the grislier videos as the “good videos”.

Calvin can definitely be a bit emotionally manipulative during arguments. Whenever Andre is provoked, grows visibly enraged, and blurts something out he doesn’t mean, Cal uses this to somewhat control Andre. And when he definitely wants to win the argument, he threatens to tell Andre’s cousin, his absent brother, or his parents about what he said. Andre may or may not care, since it really depends on why they’re bickering. But usually, he does care, and even though he tries not to let Cal influence his behaviors, especially during these negatively-charged moments, he doesn’t want anyone to find out about what he said— and definitely not family. Because in his eyes, this may raise suspicion and could result in their peers finding out about Zero Day. When he does decide to grow quiet, Cal is like, “Yeah, so shut the fuck up.” But his exploitative tactics don’t always work, and they could further influence Andre’s emotions.

Andre rarely apologizes when he means it. He kinda just says “Sorry,” after bumping into someone out of habit. He was taught to be respectful, but 90% of the time he doesn’t care about what he did wrong. Even during arguments, when Calvin is trying to state how he fucked up, Andre will tell him to get over it. Most of the time, he does care about aspects of their dynamic that do matter. But in some moments, he won’t, and he’ll just kept doing whatever it is he’s doing. To elaborate, if Cal told him to control himself and to stop being “dramatic”, Andre wouldn’t take him into consideration and would turn the tables by criticizing him about something he cares about and Cal doesn’t.

Calvin and Andre share clothes sometimes. To Cal, seeing Andre in his clothes is quite flattering. Andre thinks rings are cool, too, so he’ll wear them occasionally. Also, he likes to wear Cal’s bracelets and necklaces to feel closer to him, on top of matching dog tags with him.

Andre is an energy drinker. His favorite is Red Bull. Cal drinks a lot of soda and prefers Coca-Cola or Mountain Dew over anything else. While Calvin does enjoy having an energy drink sometimes, often sharing a Red Bull with Andre as energy drinks contain a lot of caffeine, he doesn’t really drink them on his own time.

When Andre and Cal first started planning Zero Day, as they began to practice handling their guns and shooting, they would frequently argue about the correct order and anatomy of the firearm parts they were using. Chris had to step in a couple times to calm them down. Cal insisted that he was right, while Andre insisted that he was right. In general, they have a hard time accepting that either one of them could be right— about anything, really, with the two determined to prove the other wrong and to “get on their high horse”. However, it isn’t uncommon for both boys to end up being wrong, especially if the conflict is similar to their gun-related issues.

[electronickingdomfox]

Star Trek TOS slash bits (Season three)

This is my personal rundown of all the slash scenes in TOS season three. I've omitted episodes when I didn't find anything remarkable in them.

-What I count: lingering touches or affectionate looks, clinginess, actions that show a strong concern/familiarity with each other, suggestive scenes...

-What I DON'T count: friendly gestures (like smiling or looking amused when someone says something funny), scenes taken out of context, physical proximity just because there's not enough space...

I'll try to illustrate some scenes when necessary, though screenshots usually don't do justice to it.

For season one analysis go here. For season two, go here.

Spectre of the Gun:

McSpirk The mind-meld scene. For Kirk, this was his first mind-meld, for McCoy the third, if you count the one with Mirror Spock. Actually, Spock also mind-melds with Scotty here, but in my opinion, the scenes with Kirk and McCoy look much more intimate. Almost like love scenes, while Scotty's seems a more clinical meld. For comparison:

The Paradise Syndrome

McSpirk At first McCoy is infuriated by Spock's decision to take care of the asteroid before rescuing Kirk, though then he submits to his very logical reasons for doing so (explained with rocks, so the doctor can get it). McCoy will spend the rest of the episode entering Spock's cabin every five minutes, to see if he's getting enough rest. While Spock works himself to exhaustion, trying to figure out a way to divert the asteroid and save Kirk (granted, he also wants to save the rest of the planet, but still...). Also, McCoy tries to comfort Spock, by telling him it wasn't his fault the ship was crippled, and that Jim would have done the same. For his part, Kirk isn't very worried about Spock and McCoy, but that's because he's being KIROOOK!! and can't even remember them.

And the Children Shall Lead

Spirk The famous turbolift scene. When Kirk feels he's losing command, he first grabs Spock in a panic, and then literally throws himself into his arms, in a half intimate, half awkward scene. It's only when Spock whispers "Jim" to him, that Kirk regains his confidence.

Spock's Brain

Spirk Kirk's anxiety when he discovers Spock's brain has been stolen. He argues with McCoy just because he can't replace a brain, and is determined to search the entire galaxy to save Spock, if needed. Later, when he hears Spock's disembodied voice, his face reflects absolute bliss:

Spock also says that he feels a distinct pleasure upon hearing his Captain's voice.

Spones McCoy doesn't hesitate for an instant to use the knowledge helmet to save Spock, even when warned about the possibility of it killing him. And Spock begs McCoy not to jeopardize his life for his sake.

McKirk This... this moment (nothing said):

Is There in Truth no Beauty?

Spirk At first, Kirk is all gallantry and pleasantries with Dr. Miranda Jones... Until he starts suspecting that she may have hurt Spock on purpose, out of jealousy. Then he turns absolutely nuts, accusing and threatening her, in the hopes that this will stir her conscience to save Spock's damaged mind. The whole scene is actually quite uncomfortable to watch.

Spones McCoy seems very angry and/or worried when Spock praises Uhura's beauty after his mind-meld with Kollos (jealousy?), and quickly points out that this can't be Spock. Though he's immediately relieved when Spock replies in his usual tone, proving that Spock's still there. It's noteworthy that Kollos had showed ample signs of being controlling Spock before this moment, like making him smile. Yet McCoy only reacts once Spock/Kollos starts flirting with Uhura.

Apart from this, there's Miranda's jealousy about Spock and Kollos, since she perceives their union as far closer than what she could ever achieve. Miranda is in love with Kollos, so Spock functions as a kind of romantic rival, at least in her mind.

The Empath

McSpirk It's like... the whole episode. But there are certain scenes that stand out. First we have Kirk offering himself as test subject for the Vians, as long as they leave his friends alone. Then McCoy sedates Kirk, knowing that he'd subject himself to the torture if awake. But his plan backfires, since this leaves Spock in command, and of course he wants to sacrifice himself to protect the doctor. At one point, Gem touches Spock's shoulder, and through her empathic powers she senses something in him that makes her smile with fondness; presumably, his deep love for his friends. McCoy is determined to be the one tortured, though, so he also knocks Spock out, even if the Vians had previously said that he was the most likely to die. Afterwards, Kirk and Spock gently hold the dying McCoy, with Spock touching his face, and McCoy complimenting him for his "bedside manner". Kirk tries to convince Gem to save McCoy, by all means possible, and has to restrain his strong emotions in order to break free from the force field. It's really a lot. After all, the whole point of the episode is that Gem learns about love and self-sacrifice by observing these three particular individuals.

The Tholian Web

Spirk Spock insists on staying in Tholian space, despite the danger it poses to ship and crew, for the remote possibility that Kirk may still be alive. McCoy points out the illogic in such an action, and this is one of the main causes for their disagreement.

Spones Spock and McCoy are very tense with each other in the first part. But after seeing Kirk's last message (that pretty much amounts to saying that they complement each other) they make peace, and McCoy apologizes and acknowledges Spock as Captain. They almost get into another argument because McCoy's being affected by the spatial distortion too, but he quickly apologizes again, before collapsing in Spock's arms (and how convenient that everybody else becomes crazy and murderous, yet McCoy's reaction is fainting on Spock...)

By the end of the episode, they're toasting together and have grown fond of each other. Kirk notices the change and teases them, so they reveal how difficult was working together. However, they don't give him the satisfaction, and even deny having seen his message.

For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky

McKirk Kirk is very angsty and pained upon learning that McCoy only has one year of life left. But he's even worse once he learns that McCoy won't be spending that year with them, but with Natira. Apart from this, Kirk is pretty touchy whenever McCoy is feeling bad.

At times, Kirk and Natira almost seem like romantic rivals, in a competition for McCoy. Further expressed by their parallelisms: both Kirk and Natira are leaders of men, burdened by enormous responsibilities, and this position has forced them to lead solitary lives.

Spones Less evident, but when Spock grabs McCoy's arm to prevent him from getting up, McCoy looks at the hand and seems surprised and moved by the gesture.

McSpirk In the end, McCoy chooses to go back with Kirk and Spock, even if this means losing Natira. And he does so even before they find a cure for his illness! His situation is literally the same, so it's a choice born of free will. Besides, Natira knows that McCoy won't stop disobeying the Oracle and thinking about his friends as long as they're alive.

Plato's Stepchildren

McSpirk Similar to "The Empath", the whole plot revolves around Kirk, Spock and McCoy sacrificing themselves for each other. First, Kirk and Spock are subjected to the Platonians' humiliation because they refuse to leave McCoy behind. And when McCoy can't bear their torture anymore, he agrees to be a prisoner of the Platonians in exchange for their freedom, though Kirk talks him out of it. They're both also very concerned about Spock's wellbeing, after the Platonians force him to show emotions. And Spock can't contain his rage at having almost killed Kirk.

Wink of an Eye

Spirk When Deela monitors Kirk's actions, she notices that he's trying to communicate with Spock. And from this she concludes that humans are quite capable of affection. She's not speaking about "friendly affection" precisely, because she hopes that Kirk will show it to her too, and this makes Rael quite jealous.

That Which Survives

McKirk A bit of a silly example, but Kirk and McCoy probably didn't need to sleep so close together (and so awkwardly), with so much free terrain around.

The Mark of Gideon

Spirk In the beginning, Kirk looks at Spock with fondness and regrets that he can't accompany him down to the planet, which he describes as a paradise.

Requiem for Methuselah

McSpirk The final scene, where Spock makes Jim forget through a mind-meld, is often interpreted as pure K/S. That is, McCoy is nasty towards Spock for not feeling love; Spock proves him wrong by showing his love for Kirk; the end. But I think that this interpretation ignores certain elements in the story, and some things don't make much sense. In particular, the assumption that McCoy is simply being nasty. First, why would he insult Spock now? They don't even argue in this episode, there's no previous conflict between them to prompt this. Second, would McCoy really believe that Spock doesn't understand love, when a moment ago Spock showed a perfect understanding of Rayna's dilemma? ("The joys of love made her human, and the agonies of love destroyed her.") So, the way I see it is thus. There's a parallel between the love triangle of Kirk/Rayna/Flint (discussed right before McCoy's speech), and the triangle of Kirk/Spock/McCoy. Pretty much like Flint tried to extract emotions from Rayna, McCoy tries to extract the same from Spock. He's been doing it for the whole series, but it was also seen in this episode, when McCoy wanted to see Spock drunk, or celebrated that Spock admitted an emotion: envy. And here he's doing it again, with his speech as a revulsive for Spock to acknowledge his love and act accordingly. The difference is that, while Flint was motivated by selfish reasons, McCoy is doing it not just for Spock, but also for Kirk. His deep worry and love for Jim makes him wish he could forget. And it's this suggestion what finally sets Spock into motion. In a breach of logic, and probably Vulcan manners too, he mind-melds with Kirk to erase his pain. It's a complex scene, but all three characters are deeply intertwined in it, with each caring for the other two (well, except Kirk who's sleeping at the moment...).

The Savage Curtain

Kirk is absurdly in love with Lincoln, and he has this dreamy, goofy smile on his face every time he looks at him. Despite knowing very well that he's not the real Lincoln. Despite McCoy calling him on his bullshit... Lincoln is just THAT irresistible.

Even Spock admits that he too "experienced his charm"!

All Our Yesterdays

Spones And how! In the first part, Spock is constantly looking after McCoy and caring for him. When McCoy falls on the snow half-frozen, Spock refuses to leave him behind (despite McCoy's pleas for Spock to save himself), because they "go together, or not at all". Later, in the cave, Spock puts the doctor to bed and leans over him on several ocassions, mostly focused on his recovery, even if this prevents him from searching for Jim or an escape.

Once Spock begins to revert to his ancestors and show an interest in Zarabeth, is conflict time instead. In particular, McCoy's outburst at Zarabeth, and his accusations that she's lying and just wants to keep Spock for herself, sound like a bout of jealousy. As a matter of fact, it IS true that only Zarabeth is trapped in that world, but McCoy has no way of knowing that, and no proof that she's being dishonest. After this outburst, Spock pins McCoy to the wall in a very tense scene, while McCoy grabs his arms the whole time. And it's only then that Spock realizes what's going on with him.

In the end, when forced to choose between staying with Zarabeth, or going back with McCoy, Spock chooses the doctor. As he said in the beginning, they go together or not at all.

McKirk Much less obvious, but McCoy is constantly asking about Jim, and tells Spock to stop worrying about him and go find Jim instead.

Turnabout Intruder

Spirk Kirk (inside the body of Janice Lester) convinces Spock to perform a mind-meld on him, by saying that Spock is closer to the Captain than anyone in the universe, and that he knows his thoughts. Once he learns the truth, Spock takes Kirk by the wrist to accompany him outside the cell. Spock touches people more often than is usually believed, but here in particular is a tender gesture, not strictly necessary.

Apart from this, Dr. Coleman seems to still love Janice, no matter the body she inhabits. There's this scene where Janice (inside the body of Kirk) approaches him seductively, and places a hand on his shoulder. From the point of view of the audience, it's one of the most explicitly gay scenes in the whole series (and extra points for Shatner for choosing to play it that way; there was nothing of the sort in the script).

Summary

Spirk: 7 out of 24 episodes Spones: 5/24 McKirk: 4/24 McSpirk: 6/24

A big increase for McSpirk, in relation to previous seasons.

[egrets-not-regrets]

Saint Valentine

You watch as your Word Bearer, Aziel, and his group go down to the basement for their regular ritual. Little did you know they were planning to summon someone to ask for some odd advice.

Author’s Note: I have a Word Bearer OC now!

Tagged: @shadowfirecat , @kit-williams , @bleedingichorhearts , @barn-anon , @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

@sleepyfan-blog , @bispecsual , @c-u-c-koo-4-40k , @ms--lobotomy

@gra93fruit-blog , @i-am-a-dragon34 , @felinisnoctis, @thevoidscreams, @yurihasurunbara

God love him, Aziel is very helpful and loyal (daresay a somewhat like a dog), and is a wonderful hype-man, but sometimes he can get a bit absurd and uncomfortably zealous about it. Not to mention him trying to convert you to believing the Four, whoever they are. You’re not particularly religious, but you’re of the opinion people can believe whatever they want to so as long as it doesn’t hurt others. You can take only so much chatter of worship of you and his gods after all. It got to the point you had to tell him to cut down the words of praise and worship lest you think he is being insincere. He was rather insulted by the fact that you questioned his sincerity for you, but he made an effort to not do that as much. His nicknames, however, never stopped.

You figured all this may be due to his loneliness and the lack of company of his peers, so you were relieved when Aziel found a group of Word Bearers to hang out with. Better for him to go out and socialize rather than pour all his focus on you. It wouldn’t do him much good to have too much of a codependent relationship with you.

Them together were an odd bunch, they all seem to look so different! Some seem to be living armor, while others, like Aziel, have more human like forms but with horns protruding from their head, looking the living embodiments of demons or monsters. They visited weekly, typically to discuss their own theological literature from what little you can understand in gothic, pray, and chant. It seemed no different than the Sunday worship that your christian friend took you to once. Sometimes listening to their chanting puts you to sleep at night.

Today’s visit was the same. The Word Bearers passed by with a nod or a wave as they made their way down to the basement as usual. You looked at your own Astartes carrying a box in his arms. Curious, you asked him, “What do you have in there?”

“Items for our ritual, my darling goddess.”

You couldn’t help but blush at his pet names, but frown at the mention of a ritual, “Please tell me that a half-decomposed animal carcass is not part of it.” the memory of a decomposing deer carcass that stunk up the house for several days made you want to wretch. Where did Aziel acquire such a thing any way? You wonder.

Aziel nuzzled you and reassuringly replied, “I promise it is nothing of that sort.”

Your shoulders sagged with relief and turned to start filling the kettle, “The usual for you guys?”

“Yes. Thank you, my radiant light.” The Word Bearer leaned down and kissed your temple. You giggled and smiled at him, “You’re welcome. You go ahead, tea and mocha will be ready up here when you’re done.”

Aziel purred as he nuzzled you again then left. You started to brew very strong coffee. You stuffed the massive tea strainer full with rooibos tea mixture, set out honey, a large tin of powder hot chocolate, and a jar of dried chili flakes. They had a preference for sweet and strongly flavored drinks given how much they enjoyed the mocha you made. Aziel and his friends would take a while and when they start their ending chants, it would be the perfect time to boil water.

You were reading a novel on your tablet when a cloying smoky scent filled your nostrils as if something was baked way too long. Was something burning? Smoke billowed out when you opened the door to the basement.

“Aziel?” You called out worriedly.

You coughed and waved the smoke away from your face. Concerned and forgetting that your Astartes could withstand a lot more than the average human, you rushed downstairs.

“We summon you, St. Valentine!”

You paused when you heard them say the name “St. Valentine”, catching on that they were trying to summon something or someone. When the smoke cleared, you were left standing awkwardly on the stairs, the group of Word Bearers staring at you, all positioned around a summoning circle drawn with what you hope was red paint. Three of them were kneeling in prayer, one was holding a book aloft, and another one was swinging an incense burner pouring with smoke. Aziel stood in front of them as if directing the entire ritual. A heart shaped box of chocolates and a bouquet of red roses laid in the middle. It was clear the St. Valentine they were trying to summon was the St. Valentine of Valentine’s Day. Not that it did anything.

“Sorry… Aziel. I… I thought… something was burning.” You stuttered in embarrassment, quickly turning to go back upstairs, “I’ll go, sorry I interrupted you.”

Suddenly, you felt yourself falling forward into an armoured embrace.

“Don’t leave. Please, my guiding star.” Aziel rubbed his face against your hair like a cat seeking affection.

“But don’t you have to finish the ritual?”

His grip tightened, scared that you would disappear if he let go, “We are finished, but the ritual was not successful.” He mumbled.

You felt bad for breaking their focus at such a critical moment thus contributing to their failure, “I’m sorry…” you started.

As if he knew already what you’re going to say, Aziel reassured you, “You have no fault in this. It is much more difficult to summon anything in ancient Terra. Do not fret.”

His fire-patterned eyes held a glimmer of humour and something else as you looked at him, “We summoned you after all.” he chuckled.

You snorted and laughed, “I don’t think that counts. Why are you guys trying to summon St. Valentine?”

“We wish to ask for his wisdom in properly courting our bonded.” Aziel replied earnestly.

Your mouth dropped open. Heat spread across your face and your heart skipped a few beats. You stammered, “You… I… um… you want to court me?” Aziel was very devoted to you and at times a little too devoted, but you thought it was just the way he was as a Word Bearer. Never in your wildest imagination did you think that Aziel had feelings for you to the point he would try to summon St. Valentine to ask for advice. It was a lot to take in. Perhaps you’ll take the lead and rein back Aziel a bit, knowing how gungho he could get

The fact that his buddies went along with him to do so just made the situation even more ridiculous. You laughed and reached to rubbed the smudge of dirt off the base of one of his horns. Purring loudly, Aziel leaned into your touch. You then cupped his face with your hands stroking the scarified mark on his left cheek, “I am very flattered. But…”

Aziel’s face fell.

His face brightened once again when you pecked his nose with a quick kiss, “You silly man. I was about to say let’s talk about how I want to be courted and we can go from there.”

If your Word Bearer had a tail, he would be wagging it in happy excitement, “You are saying ‘Yes’?” he asked.

“Yes. Now, go clean up and bring the chocolate and flowers up with you. Then we’ll chat. I’m sure it will help your brothers as well.”

Aziel gently pressed his lips against yours, “Of course, my lovely moon lily.” before releasing you from his grasp.

[krsonmar]

I just saw this over on Bluesky and...

Look, maybe I'm unusual and lucky in my exposure to Holocaust lit in school. Most people don't get well-versed enough in these memoirs and histories and historical novels that they know what's about to happen and "all the ways the bad guys get you" the way horror fans shout at the TV, "No, don't lean over the body to see if he's really dead, poke him with a stick, what are you, *trying* to die?!"

But for god's sake, y'all, does it really take more than plain old common sense to have basic opsec? If you make a list of federal government workers resisting the takeovers happening now "for inspiration for the masses" and send it around social media...who the frick else do you think can see that list? And what might they do *other than* take inspiration from it? If I'm a fascist government goon looking to stifle dissent and make an example to everyone, what a great shortcut you've given me!

And it doesn't even take that; if I'm someone like a garden-variety LibsOfTikTok follower, maybe I get it in my head that going Pizzagate on these people is a patriotic thing to do. Or maybe I just fall back on the basic hyper-online alt-right MO of doxxing and harrassing people to the point that they pack up and leave town or, god forbid, commit suicide.

I should not have had to tell people, during Occupy in around 2012, that announcing your protest on Facebook and asking people to click to say they'd be there is a bad, bad, stupid, baaaaaaad idea. The NSA leaks wouldn't come out until about a year later, but IT SHOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN THAT to understand that compiling a list of people who would be at your protest against the government, with pictures of their faces and their past drunken college escapades along with their workplaces and social affiliations, is a terrible and unsafe way to organize.

This is something that scares me deep in my bones about what's happening: Americans don't understand *how* to mistrust authority anymore. We might have the general sentiment, but we don't know what to do with it in a practical way. Do you think someone who lived under the Stasi for decades or who grew up on stories of their parents barely escaping the Ayatollah or Saddam or Papa Doc's crackdowns and purges would call the concerns people *absolutely have been voicing for at least a good 20 years now* paranoid or overreactive? Our comfort and relative stability have spoiled us into complacency, and now we don't know how to even think about this stuff.

I am begging you: get cynical, guard your privacy (and other people's), and learn not to run your mouth. It is no longer paranoia. It never was, and if we had all understood that for the past two-plus decades, maybe we wouldn't be where we are now.

[reidsangel]

seven minutes | s.r

summary: spencer, your husband is dying and there's nothing you can do but cherish those last moments

wc: 2.9k

warning: fem reader, death, tears, hurt, reader is reminiscing her life that she got to have with spencer, Spencer and reader have a daughter named Tessa.

song recommendation:

a/n: this is sad ( for me at least ) I cried while writing it so! just a heads up, and Spencer can be alive in your reality but in this one....yeah! 😕

The room felt suffocating, the weight of the silence pressing in on me as I sat beside Spencer, holding his hand. The beeping of the heart monitor was the only sound, steady and unyielding, a reminder of the fragile line between life and death. The man who had been my everything he is my rock, my soulmate, the father of our daughter and now he was lying there, unconscious, barely holding on.

Spencer had always been the one who believed in the good in the world, who believed in us, even when it felt like everything else was falling apart. And now he was here, so still, so quiet, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I had missed my chance to tell him everything I needed to say.

I had never imagined this day would come. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to grow old together, argue about little things, watch Tessa graduate, watch her get married. 

“Spencer” I whispered, leaning down to press my forehead against his. His skin was cold, too cold, and I squeezed his hand tighter, willing him to wake up. To give me that crooked smile that always made my heart skip a beat. “I don’t know how to do this without you. I need you, Spencer. Tessa needs you”

I glanced over at the small bundle of blankets in the corner, where Tessa had fallen asleep earlier, exhausted from the long hours of waiting. She was so young, so unaware of the storm that was brewing around us. I couldn’t imagine what her world would be like without her father. The way Spencer had always been there for her- his soft laughter, his gentle hands, his quiet way of making her feel safe. He was her everything, too.

I wiped away the tears that had fallen onto my cheeks, but there was no stopping them. Not this time. “I don’t know how to tell her, Spencer" I murmured, my voice breaking. "How do I explain to her that you’re not coming home ever again?”

His breathing was slow and shallow, his chest rising and falling with the effort of the machines that were plugged in. But I knew he couldn’t hear me. He couldn’t answer me. The doctors had said he was likely gone, that this was the end. But I refused to accept it. I refused to believe that this was the last time I would be sitting here with him. That the man who had spent his life trying to protect people, to help others, would be lost to me so soon.

I had spent so many years in love with this man. Spencer Reid, the genius, the man who had always tried to save everyone else. But now, no one could save him. And as much as I hated to admit it, I knew the truth. He was slipping away, and there was nothing I could do to stop it, there was nothing in this world- that could bring back my husband. 

I stood up from the chair, feeling the sting in my chest, and walked over to Tessa’s side. She was sleeping so peacefully, unaware of the storm raging just a few feet away. I brushed a strand of her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead, trying to hold back my tears. How am I supposed to do this alone?

“Mommy?” Her voice was soft, quiet, and I felt my heart break all over again.

I turned to face her, forcing a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “Hey, baby. You’re awake”

Tessa blinked up at me, her small face filled with concern. “Is Daddy going to be okay?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, my eyes filling with tears again. “Tessa baby, Daddy’s- he’s very sick, sweetie. But we’re going to stay here with him, okay? We’re not going anywhere”

She slid out of bed and walked toward me, her tiny hand reaching for mine. “Is Daddy going to come home with us?”

My heart cracked wide open. How do I explain this to her? How do I explain that the man who had filled her world with laughter, who had kissed her goodnight every night, the man who had loved her like she was the only one in the world, the man who cried when she took her first steps- would no longer be there to hold her? 

I bent down to her level, my hands trembling as I cupped her face, trying to find the words. But the truth was too hard. “No, baby” I whispered, my voice faltering. “Daddy- Daddy’s not coming home”

Tessa’s brow furrowed, her tiny fingers pressing into my palm. “Why? Why won’t he come home, Mommy?”

I felt the ache in my chest deepen, a lump in my throat that made it impossible to breathe. I searched for the right words, but nothing seemed like it could be enough. Finally, I whispered, my voice breaking, “Because he’s very, very tired, sweetie. And sometimes, people get so tired that they have to rest. They don’t wake up, baby. They go to a place, a beautiful place, with lots of birds and flowers- and a beach, a peaceful beach, where they can sleep forever”

Tessa looked up at me, her brow furrowed, trying to make sense of what I was saying. “But Daddy hates the beach, Mommy” she pouted, her voice small and innocent.

The pain in my chest twisted, and despite everything, I let out a soft chuckle, the sound a bittersweet mixture of love and heartbreak. She was right. Spencer had always hated the beach. The sand, the crowds, the heat. But at that moment, I could almost hear him laughing along with me. “I know, sweetie” I whispered, brushing a tear away, “but maybe this is a different kind of beach, one that he doesn’t mind”

“Daddy will sleep peacefully now” I whispered, my voice barely more than a soft breath, the weight of the words heavier than I ever imagined.

Her eyes widened, and she tilted her head in confusion. “Like when I sleep? But I wake up, Mommy. Daddy will wake up, too, right?”

I couldn’t hold back the sob that escaped my chest. I gathered her into my arms, feeling the weight of her innocence in my embrace. “I wish that were true, sweetie” I said, my voice breaking. “But Daddy- he’s not going to wake up this time”

Tessa clung to me, her little body trembling as she began to cry softly. “I want Daddy, Mommy. I want him to come home”

“I know, baby” I whispered, rocking her gently in my arms. “I want him too. But we have to be brave for him, okay? We have to be strong, because he would want us to be. He loves you so much. He’s always going to love you”

As I held my daughter, the weight of the grief settled over me like a blanket. Spencer had been the love of my life, the person who had seen me at my worst and still chosen me. And now, just like that, he was slipping away. I had no idea how to navigate this world without him, how to keep going without the man who had been my anchor and my light in the darkest days.

I looked over at the bed where Spencer lay, his face still and peaceful, the steady rhythm of the machines the only sign of life left. He was gone in every way that mattered. And I couldn’t find the strength to let go. Goddamn it Spencer. 

I leaned down to kiss Tessa’s forehead, holding her close as my tears mixed with hers. “We’ll get through this together” I whispered, even though I wasn’t sure how. “Daddy will always be in our hearts”

And even though I didn’t believe it in that moment, I said the words because they were all I could give her. Because, for her sake, I needed to believe we could somehow survive this. That we could carry Spencer’s memory and his love through the rest of our lives.

But as I looked at Spencer, lying motionless, I knew that life would never be the same. That part of me had already left with him, and all that was left was the aching reminder of everything I had lost. 

It all started with a meeting in the most ordinary way. I was walking out of a coffee shop, balancing a cup of coffee in one hand and my phone in the other when I bumped into someone. The coffee spilled over the side of my cup, splashing onto my shirt. I looked up, half-expecting an angry look, but instead I saw Spencer. His wide, concerned eyes met mine, and in that moment, I swear the world stopped.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry” he stammered, his voice as soft as it was nervous. “I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no, it's okay” I laughed, trying to brush off my embarrassment. “It’s my fault, really”

His hand reached out, almost instinctively, to grab a napkin and dab at the coffee stain on my shirt. I tried to protest, but he was already focused, like the calm in the chaos of a spill. 

“I’m Spencer” he said, his words just a little too fast, a little too eager. “Spencer Reid”

“Nice to meet you, Spencer Reid” I smiled, trying to hide the fluttering in my chest at how kind he was, how gentle, even in the face of disaster.

And that was how we met. It wasn’t dramatic, it wasn't a moment of fireworks and music in the background. It was simple, a collision of two separate people over a cup of spilled coffee, but it was the start of everything I had ever wanted in my life. 

In the days that followed, we spent time together in unexpected places, at the local park, where Spencer would sit with me on the grass, casually pointing out the constellations even though I was mostly just trying to keep up. Or when we’d go to his favorite little bookstore, and he’d tug me down aisles filled with dusty books, his voice soft as he recited bits of poetry or scientific facts he was too proud to admit had a bit of a romantic edge.

There were small moments- too small for anyone to notice but us. The way his fingers would brush mine when we were sitting next to each other, or how he would always hold the door open for me, as though I were the most important thing in the world. I had never seen someone love the world in the way he did, with that quiet intensity, like he was constantly seeking meaning in everything.

And then there was the day we brought Tessa home from the hospital. The overwhelming joy of her tiny hand curled around Spencer’s finger, the way he couldn’t stop staring at her in awe, like he couldn’t believe she was ours.

 He was always a little awkward with babies, he didn’t know how to hold her quite right at first, his arms unsure- but that didn’t matter. It wasn’t the perfect way he held her that mattered. It was the way his face lit up when she wrapped her fingers around his hand, trusting him, even though she couldn’t know who he was yet.

“Look at her” he whispered, his voice barely audible, like he was afraid the moment would shatter. “She’s perfect” 

I remember laughing through the tears, feeling his hand on my back, steady and warm. “You’re perfect too, you know that?”

And just like that, he smiled- his crooked, beautiful smile, the one that always made me feel like I had all the time in the world, like we were invincible, that nothing would ever tear us apart.

In the quiet of our evenings, the moments we shared were so simple, but they were everything. Spencer would always find a way to surprise me. Whether it was with a new book on the latest research he was obsessed with or a jar of my favorite strawberry jam that he’d hidden in the back of the pantry for a rainy day, he always knew exactly how to make me smile.

And then there were the quiet moments when it was just us. On the couch, Tessa tucked between us, Spencer would lean in, his voice soft and full of affection. “You know, you make me feel like I’m home” he’d whisper into my hair, his fingers tracing little circles on my wrist, making me feel like the most cherished person in the world.

Now, sitting in the sterile quiet of the hospital room, I find myself clinging to those little moments, trying to hold on to the pieces of Spencer that were so effortlessly woven into my life. I stare at him, unconscious, hooked to the machines that now marked the final stage of his fight with his life. But even in this hospital room, I could almost feel him with me, as if his presence was never bound by the limits of his body.

I remember the way we would argue about the simplest things, like how to properly fold the towels or what movie to watch on a Saturday night. Spencer would pretend to be exasperated, his arms crossed, but I always knew he loved it. He loved our little quirks, our silly fights, because they meant we were living together as a married couple.

I remember the soft way he’d kiss me goodnight, every night, no matter how long the day had been. “I love you” he’d whisper, his voice low, the warmth of his breath brushing against my cheek. His words never failed to make my heart race, always filled with the same unspoken promise- that we’d always have each other, no matter what.

And then there were the moments we shared just for ourselves, when Tessa was asleep and the world outside felt far away. Spencer would pull me close, his arms wrapping around me like he never wanted to let me go. “We’re good, right?” he’d ask, his voice a little too soft, a little too vulnerable.

“We’re perfect” I’d reply, knowing that in this imperfect world, we were exactly what we needed.

But now, in this room, with his hand cold in mine, those little moments felt like pieces of a dream, fading with every beat of the heart monitor. And I wanted so desperately to hold on to them, to keep him with me, even if I couldn’t have him here physically.

“Spencer, I love you” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “I’ll love you forever”

His chest rose and fell with a shallow breath, the machines beeping in the stillness of the room. I could hear the echoes of our love, the laughter, the whispers, the simple moments we shared. And somehow, through the pain, I knew that those memories would never leave me. They would be the quiet whisper in the back of my mind, the soft touch I would carry with me for the rest of my life.

No matter what happened in this room, no matter what the doctors said, Spencer Reid would always be the love of my life, the one who had made me believe in a future filled with joy, laughter, and love. And as much as I wished for just one more moment, just one more laugh, I knew that the moments we’d shared were enough to last a lifetime.

The human brain, in it’s final seconds, can play the whole life of a person- every detail, every memory, every quiet moment. In seven minutes. In those seven minutes, Spencer would be granted a final chance to relive his life- every moment, every laugh, every tear- before he would drift into eternal sleep, leaving this world behind for good.

 Seven minutes to relive a lifetime.

I leaned down, pressing my lips to Spencer’s forehead, the coldness of his skin sending a shudder through me. My tears fell freely now, each one carrying the weight of every word left unsaid, every moment we would never get to share. I whispered, my voice barely a breath, “You can rest now, my love. You’ve fought so hard. I’ll carry you with me, always”

But the words felt hollow, empty, like they were trying to hold together something that was already slipping through my fingers. I couldn’t make it stop. I couldn’t bring him back. I couldn’t save him this time.

The sound of the machines, the quiet beeping that had been the soundtrack of our fight, faded into a painful silence. And in that silence, all I could feel was the gaping hole he left behind. A hole that no amount of time would ever heal. He was gone. My Spencer was gone.

I would carry him with me, as broken as I felt, as shattered as I was. I would tell our daughter every story, every memory, every beautiful moment. I would make sure she knew just how much he loved her. 

I looked at Spencer, lying there, still and peaceful, I whispered one last time, my voice trembling with the weight of my grief, “Always” 

And then, with a heart that felt too heavy to carry, I had to let him go. Forever.

@carisc4pshaw @1992chinawhite

[ressjeon]

Movie date(s): Kim Taehyung

Genre(s) Eros, Pragma

Row&Seat: Row 4, Seat 3

Menu orders: Fries

I want a PG13 one! Thank you so much! Stay safee.

pairing: ceo!taehyung x wife!reader

summary: your workaholic husband's been out of reach and you're hoping that cooking his favourite food will finally bring him out from his lair.

genre/au: fluff, light angst, suggestive, ceo!au, est. relationship

warnings/content: nothing really? they're just cute and in love ig lol

a/n: i do apologize for this being years late but i hope you've been well! thank you again for requesting back then, i hope you like it :)

☞ part of @btsgoldnetwork’s two hearts, one love valentine’s day event in 2022 🎞💓

🍿 bangtan theatre presents: enough 🍿 purchases for movie tickets and snacks are now closed!

The scene before you is already expected; your husband being holed up in your home office for who knows how many hours now. Being a CEO has never been an easy job and you've accepted long ago that this would be the typical lifestyle you'll have once you marry Kim Taehyung.

However, that doesn't mean that you both never tried to change things up. Making time for each other is the number one thing and changing habits would be the next, in which your husband has yet to come in terms with.

You've just entered Taehyung's study when you notice how he serious he's been working on his current project, his thick brows furrowing in concentration as you approach his form. Your hands slowly land on both his shoulders while you're standing, taking a peak at his monitor from behind him.

"dinner time, tae" you state after a minute of silence.

Your husband tends to get lost in his focus when he has a goal so you waited for a few seconds. His eyes are still fixated on the screen although his shoulders release their tension when you squeezed them, a sign that he knows why you're here.

"i made japchae" you try again, enticing him with his favourite.

Taehyung did smell the delicious scent of savory aroma with hints of sesame oil and sweet vegetables from the kitchen earlier but he just had to get this done. You finish work before him, cooking dinner as soon as you arrive so you both can eat at the same time.

It's one of the changes that you both compromised and he chose not to respond to you when you called him down to eat to maintain his focus.

"hmm"

"love?"

"tae, that's enough, you can continue after eating"

"sorry baby but i really need to finish this for the video conference tomorrow morning. it's for our Singapore branch." he sighs in frustration, not at you but this proposal that he has to submit before midnight.

Taehyung's been feeling awful since he feels like he's taking out his frustrations on you sometimes. He knows you're just concerned because he's been staying up too late just to finish this.

You don't even see your husband every morning but at least he takes the lunch that you prepare for him each night before. Taehyung's known for being hardworking, like how he was in college when you first met. Even so, he's never neglected you in any way so you eventually got used to it.

It doesn't mean that you never cared nor that you're tolerating his unhealthy habit. You just understand him, like how he does understand you. You both have been very open to one another so it didn't get in between you.

People have been telling him that this trait doesn't really matter since he'll inherit their family business anyways. It used to affect Taehyung a lot and it drove him further since he has something to prove.

You both got married after university, right when Taehyung had to take over their family business. Regret never came into your mind when you married him this early because you've been dating for years.

So that means you knew that there's no changing his mind. You take a deep sigh and leaves without a word, sending Taehyung in a little panic that he's upset you. He was about to stand up and follow you downstairs when the doors of his office room opened.

Taehyung wanted to turn around and gauge if you're mad or what. But instead, he continues staring on his laptop; the itch to continue where he left off stopping him from asking you.

Your footsteps near him but you still haven't said a word, just placing the plate beside his computer.

The previous method didn't obviously work on your husband so maybe this one will do.

You approach his form again, planting both your hands on his shoulder and hugged him after.

"want me to give you a massage?" you ask, sounding normal with your lovely tone each time you ask him so Taehyung's a bit suspicious.

He didn't answer right away so you're assuming it's a no. Before you could retreat your arms though, he holds them to stop you from pulling away.

"i'd love to baby, thank you" he smiles even though you can only tell with his bread cheeks.

Taehyung relented because you do seem upset earlier when he didn't want to eat. His tense muscles gradually loosen as your fingers work on his knots, closing his eyes eventually as he scrunches his face. He's beginning to relax fully when you lean in and kiss the side of his bare neck, instantly causing shivers through him.

"japchae's on the table, with your cherry coke" you whisper and Taehyung doesn't want to think that you're teasing him. All he can focus is your breath fanning against his skin, turning his swivel chair around to face you.

Without a word, your husband grabs you towards his lap, his arms hugging around your waist. He looks up at you with pleading eyes, "eat with me?"

"but i already did, earlier when i called you" you reply with no traces of you being upset or accusatory in your tone.

However, it dawns on Taehyung that you ate alone because he ignored you so now he feels bad. You sensed it though, cupping his face right away and kisses him. A form of reassurance that you're not mad at all so he has nothing to worry about.

Taehyung surprised you when he deepens the kiss and you let him, truly missing your husband these days.

"i'm hungry for something else" he rasps but you pretend to be unaffected with how his voice went several levels lower.

"what? you don't want my japchae anymore?"

"of course i do, but you're enough" he smiles, pecking your lips once before he descends to your jaw. You're chuckling in relief as Taehyung continues to leave lingering kisses along your neck, the dinner you prepared for him now long forgotten.

His lips leave your skin for a bit to turn off his monitor while you undo his necktie. Your husband's focus is finally on you, giving you his boxy smile after with genuine admiration in his eyes.

"i love you tae" you sighed before kissing his lips, not letting him respond with how excited you are for what's to come.

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

october 3, 2021 2:00 p.m. morensong coffee house

[grant] thank you for meeting me so last minute.

[cerise] yeah, it’s no problem! actually, i'm glad we could do this sooner rather than later. this has been at the back of my mind for a while–the curiosity has–so when you texted me yesterday, i was, like, i need to know. i may be going out of town for a week, but i'll try to make room in the schedule for this before i leave.

[grant] are you traveling anywhere exciting?

[cerise] iceland. it’s a big family trip to celebrate my parents’ 20th anniversary. as in, my mom and my stepdad’s anniversary. i mean, he’s my real dad as far as i'm concerned, but technically my stepdad. i think you get what i mean, i don’t know why i'm over-explaining.

[grant] wow, that is exciting. well, i hope you guys have fun. i hear it’s just as gorgeous there as you think it is.

[cerise] anyway, thank you again for asking your–our, i guess; that’s still weird to say–dad some questions on my behalf. i'm sure that wasn’t easy.

[grant] i should warn you that it’s not necessarily a wealth of information.

[cerise] that’s okay.

[grant] there was a lot going on when i talked to him, and if there were other questions i could have asked…

[cerise] it’s okay.

[grant] i wouldn’t have been able to think of them, and now, uh, the line of communication is closed, so i can’t really go back and...

[cerise] i said it was okay, didn’t i?

[cerise] the basics are enough, and you already put yourself out for a stranger. if i want to know anything else, i'll find the right moment to get my my mom talk about what happened.

[grant] do you want me to just get right into it?

[cerise] whatever you prefer.

[grant] so, uh, essentially, my parents were attending a medical conference of some kind in detroit. they were still married then, but my dad was unhappy with the relationship. he met your mom at the conference, and then he had–as far as i'm aware–a one-night stand with her. she found out my dad already had a family, they agreed to not be in each other’s lives, and he paid her child support.

[grant] that’s what i know. i'm sure there’s more to it, but...

[grant] oh! right, “the more” is that there is a nonzero chance we have more siblings out there.

[cerise] huh.

[cerise] i'm almost surprised there isn’t more drama. that’s a pretty mundane story. a one-night stand with someone you know nothing about is the oldest story in the book.

[cerise] weird, i feel better now. my curiosity is sated. well, i am wondering how the affair even happened if your mom was right there and about the potential other children, but that’s a whole can of worms.

[grant] well, i'm glad you feel better.

[cerise] and the story does make sense. i always wondered if there was some big thing with the secrecy, but if it’s because your–our?–dad was a married man, i get it. my mom is a very good person with strong morals. i know her, and she would not want anything to do with someone if she were aware they were cheating and had a family, and she wouldn’t want me to have any business with them either.

[grant] she made the right decision to stay away. he’s unnecessary. your lives are a billion times better off without him. if you’re thinking, “how can he say that?” just trust me.

[cerise] i mean, i can’t be upset about it. i'm not sure what i potentially lost out on, but what i've had in life with my parents has been perfect or just about perfect, so i'm not going to question her choice.

[grant] you didn’t lose anything. not to say trust me again, but trust me.

[cerise] i'm sorry. this probably is far less of a flippant thing for you.

[grant] don’t worry about me. it’s all good.

[grant] i am just really glad you feel better, and i'm glad i could be of some use to you as well. it’s a lot easier to use me than your mom. i have never met her, but i'm guessing she’d prefer to just forget about all this stuff, and i hope she has.

[cerise] i was frustrated she wouldn’t tell me the truth, but i get it now. this may be a classic story, but it’s still, you know, an embarrassing one. if i found out my boyfriend were a married man tomorrow, i would melt into the floor and stay there.

[grant] anyway, i know we’ve been sitting here all of ten minutes, but i should let you go. once i finish drinking this coffee, i will get out of your hair. you have things to do–exciting things. go pack and travel and have fun and all that.

[cerise] hey, you don’t have to leave already!

[grant] no, i don’t want to take up your afternoon. at least no more than enough to tell you what you were waiting a few weeks to hear.

[cerise] i mean, i blocked out time to do that and talk to you generally for a bit.

[cerise] i don’t know how to go about all this, but i wasn’t planning on benefiting off your connection to your–our?–dad and then peacing out. i figured we could be acquainted, if nothing else.

[cerise] unless that’s too much for you, in which case, totally get it. no pressure. my existence must be weird for your mom and siblings. i'm assuming you have siblings.

[cerise] or maybe they don’t know. i also get it if you’re keeping this situation on the down-low. i can assure you that you’d not be alone in that. i'm not sure i could tell my parents right now that i know about my origins or that i've met my bio dad’s son. not yet.

[grant] definitely don’t do that before the big anniversary trip. but no, don’t worry about that either. i don’t have siblings. not anymore. and my mom...let’s not even go there. there’s nothing to worry about on those fronts.

[grant] it’s not that it’s too much, basically. i have zero problems with you, and i have no family left who would have a problem with you either, so.

[grant] i just don’t want to be in your way, not today or at any point in the future, and i will be. you don’t need my dad around; you don’t really need me either.

[cerise] i don’t care if you are, honestly. you are my brother. that feels weird to say, but you are, and you haven’t done anything wrong. i'd like to know my brother.

[cerise] this is maybe the only regretful, i don’t know if that’s the right word, part of all the secrecy and the way i came to be. i get along with my step-siblings. what’s wrong with getting along with the half-siblings? or half-sibling?

[grant] i should have also warned you i'm kind of in a dour mood entirely because of my dad. sorry. not because of you or this whole thing, though, to be clear.

[grant] i wanted to meet to get all this off my mind so i have no other reason to think about him, hopefully, for the rest of my life. i'll be in a more conversational mood soon-ish, once i'm done thinking about him.

[grant] this is going to make me wishy-washy. i don’t want to be in your way; i don’t want to be a source of awkwardness in your family if they ever know you know me, but…

[grant] okay. i wouldn’t mind getting along with my half-sibling. maybe we could meet up when you have time again.

[cerise] yeah, i'll text you. i might be busy for a while with work when i'm back from my trip, but…

[grant] text me anytime. we’ll figure it out.

[mythicalninjas]

Hi, can you do one with everyone (or just Raph if you prefer) when the girlfriend finds out she's pregnant, but then an accident happens and she loses her memory, forgetting to talk about the news and so the turtles only find out when Donnie does some tests in it?

I. LOVE. this prompt! I'll pick Raph this time, if you don't mind ❤

Rate/Warnings: NSFW, hit-and-run/run over, mention of vomit. SFW ending.

It's your fourth popcorn snack, and you're ready to eat more than usual as if you've been overtaken by a craving that's been going on for a while.

This has been happening increasingly for the past three weeks, and you've already lost count of the number of bags of popcorn you've eaten. However, having an excessive craving for popcorn despite your fondness for it is unusual.

During these same weeks, your breasts began to hurt. You thought you were going through another menstrual cycle, but the bleeding hadn't started yet. According to the menstrual calendar, your period should have started two weeks ago. Is this supposed to happen? You didn't feel anything wrong in your lower abdomen; no cramping, no hot fluid oozing out of your body. Just a strong craving for popcorn and sore breasts. You sighed, drewing the fresh air to your nostrils, and a delicious smell caught your attention.

Perhaps a neighbor was cooking dinner.

Instinctively, you moved your eyes to the window and saw a man in his kitchen in another building next to yours. He's cooking something, and you can't define what it is. But the aroma he is creating is divine.

Wait a minute.

How can you smell his food from across the street? You have lived here for years, and there have been rare moments when you have smelled your neighbor's cooking, but never across the street.

Something seems wrong.

Pacing back and forth, you rub your hands, your eyes fixed on the carpeted floor in your bedroom. How could this happen? Oh yes, you know damn well how, but even so. Could a mutant knock up a human? Aren't their genes incompatible?

Well, you both had sex and ended up with a life in your belly.

The first round is over. Now you have to face the next one which is tell him the great news. Oh, God. You have no idea how or when to tell him about it.

You shook your hands as a sign of concern and grabbed your phone and dialed Donnie's number. "Come on. Pick up!".

His voice on the other end of the line gives you a sigh of relief after long seconds of agony. "Hey, Y/N. What's up?".

"Donnie, are you and the others in the Lair?".

"Yeah, but we're about to go out on patrol. Is everything okay?" He asked, suspicious. He knew that you knew about their business hours and that you shouldn't call, unless it's an emergency.

"No! I mean y-yes. Maybe. I don't know." You stammer.

Donnie sounds even more concerned. "What's going on, Y/N?".

You pause, trying to decide if it's a good idea to announce your pregnancy over the phone. Raphael is the father, he needs to know first hand. "Do you have a little more time? It's urgent."

"Oh, wait. I'll be right back." Donnie's voice echoed off the line, as if he was talking to someone next to him. You couldn't hear exactly what he was saying.

As you waited, your fingers tapped anxiously on the wooden table. A soft murmur left your lips, praying that Donnie would be back as soon as possible.

"What do you mean?" Raph's voice echoed in the back, almost inaudible. A bead of sweat slid down your face.

"Y/N." Donnie called back, but you couldn't answer. "Y/N?".

You woke up from your thoughts. "Huh? Yes?".

Raphael was still talking in the background. "I know, Raph." Donnie replied to his old brother as he tried to give you the final answer. "Hey, Y/N. Raph won't stay chill till you get here. Me, Leo and Mikey are going out for patrol, but Raph choose to stay for you."

A gentle smile painted your worried face. The big red teddy bear may be known as rude, rough and tough, but he has such a soft heart underneath tons of muscles. He was there when you were going through difficult times, gave you his shoulder to cry on, hugged you with his massive and heavy arms, and said tender words to make you feel calm and loved.

The terrible feeling of nausea has returned.

"I…" there was a pause as you put your hand to your lower stomach, trying to control the urge to throw up. "Not now," you whispered. "You're not going to make me throw up now, little one.

"Y/N? Sorry I couldn't hear what you just said." Donnie's voice sounded more concerned than before. "Y/N, talk to me. You're clearly not well".

"Um, Donnie. I'll be there soon. Please tell Raph I'm coming." You end the call in the most embarrassing way possible, and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

☆☆☆☆☆

2:15 am.

The streets are deserted. There is no one around but you as you make your way through Manhattan to the usual rendezvous point that your mutant friends have deemed safe for you. Despite their crime-fighting efforts, including tonight, you remain uneasy about being so vulnerable in the middle of the night, especially during the week.

How would Raphael react? Most men have a negative reaction to their partner's announcement of pregnancy. Will it happen? Oh, Lord, you're afraid…

No, it's not going to happen. Raphael may be a hothead, but it doesn't mean he's going to freak out and take it out on you. Or will he?

As you pass a small 24-hour convenience store and walk a few feet ahead, you pause before crossing the street. Your attention was so focused on how to break the news to your red-clad friend that you overlooked an approaching vehicle.

There was no time to run.

☆☆☆☆☆

''She won't-''.

''Here, get this-''

''... almost-''.

Voices. Young men voices filled your ears, but couldn't undestand the entire sentences. The soreness all over your body is impossible to deal with. You want to scream but your voice don't come out.

''No. Ya won't-''

You felt a pair of big hands grabbing your upper body part, bringging you closer to something which appears to be a hard-board chest.

''Raph, you-''.

Raph...

☆☆☆☆☆

The loud voices stopped. For a moment, you thought you were dead.

And you could feel something heavy resting on your stomach.

Opening your eyes with difficulty and moaning in pain, your blurred vision scanned the small slightly darkened room, the only artificial light coming from a few computer screens.

Noticing a sturdy figure in your peripheral vision, you move your head with difficulty to take a closer look. The red bandana catches your attention. It's him. The red brute was holding your hand while the other was placed on your stomach, for some any particular reason.

You can't remember what happened. Absolutely nothing. But how?Where have you been? At home? Out on the New York streets?Something has happened. Something serious, but that's not all what is bothering you.

"Love?" his soft voice called out.

You let out a long grunt as use all your remaining strength to sit up.

"Wait." he said, stopping you. "Ya hav' to move slowly. Donnie said you can't strain yourself. Especially to not endangering our child."

Endangering? What the hell happened to you to-

Wait… Child? What son?

Oh.

OOH.

You widended your eyes. "Raph..." You tried to say. "What do you mean our..."

He only nodded, a smile drawing his lips.

"I... I..."

"Lov'" he started. "It's okay. I'm not mad. The good news is that you and my child are okay. It's all that matters".

Your watered. "I cannot remember anything..."

Raph cups your cheek with his massive hand, a warm aura making you relax. "Take your time, love. It's a miracle that ya survived after..."

"After... what?". You repeated, heart racing against your chest.

"You were ran over by a high-speed car, but it didn't totally catch you, fortunatelly. They fled without providing assistance but don't worry, Chief Vicent already identified tha' motherfucker", the red-clad turtle clenches his fists.

Curious, you asked: "So... who did save me?".

"The boys. By coincidence, Donnie had a lock on your cell phone signal while they were on patrol a block away from your location. He called the police as soon as they witnessed that guy on the run."

You couldn't believe at first.

"He said if you didn't wake up before dawn, we'd ask April and Casey to take you to the hospital. Damn, I was so scared." Raph leaned and to plant a soft kissed to your forehead. He was fighting against bad thoughts that were filling him, those what were making him terrified.

He moved down to your belly and kissed right where your baby is. "It was my fault." His sentence had you lifting your head in disbelief at what you were hearing. "It was my fault! I should have been there to save you!" the guilty in is voice was enough to weigh up the atmosphere in the room.

You frowned. "Love, look at me now."

"It wouldn't have happened if I'd met you on the way here", he put his face on your stomach. "I would have lost you this night-".

"Bite your tongue!" you cut him off and started to caress his cheek, turning his attention at you. "I- We are here and okay, and that is all matters; as you said. Please, don't blame yourself for something nobody expected. It's over."

His green eyes shone at your words. You could see that all the pessimism, which once dominated him, falling off of him.

"We're okay and we love you. You have no idea how much we love you."

Poor boy, he couldn't hold back his tears. You always saw him with a serious and closed face, very grumpy. Your past self already imagined that he'd let his emotions out someday, but not like this. Raph lies on your belly again and his little cry fills you with pride. It makes you think that he really cares and that he's going to be a great protective father.

What a day and night you have had. It will take a while to you be fully heal, but that doesn't matter.

You were surrounded by love.

☆☆☆☆☆

Reblog to support and let more people read my content 🫶

[slowcatsisland]

Some physical headcanons for Zoro 🥰🙏

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Roronoa Zoro; Physical Characteristics Headcanons

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A/N: yes

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His pre timeskip color palette was PERFECT

His hair genuinely looks like a mint chocolate chip green and it’s because of the sun. The more sunlight he receives the lighter it makes his hair look (it got really dark during the timeskip because of Muggy Island’s climate but is progressively getting lighter currently)

When he was young his hair was more of a grassy color

His hair is really thick and surprisingly soft despite how spiky it can look, Luffy likes messing with it when he’s bored (yk when a guy gets a buzz and when you run your hand over it one way it’s soft and then the other it’s prickly? That’s kinda like Zoro’s hair no matter how long he grows it-he also doesn’t ever grow it that long)

His hair takes a long time to grow in general he cut it all off once, never again

(Yosaku, Johnny, and himself all shaved their heads together once when they were growing up. Prolly something to do with touching their mental fortitude and trying to become with the sword or smth. Zoro found out that he has a weird, rectangle head shape without hair to frame it and refuses to lose all his hair ever again)

He smells like steel and iron. He also probably had a strong natural musk bc of his hygiene (bro needs to shower more)

His facial features are so sharp. From his defined temples, the bald patches of forehead along his hair line, his jaw, nose, even his eyebrows and cheek bones all collectively make his face full of sharp lines and cuts

(I’m so not a fan of how rounded he looks post timeskip, especially in Egghead and I mean u could argue that it makes him resemble a tiger more but just guyss)

He actually has more Asian facial features than shown in the manga/anime imo

His eyebrows are either the same light mint green his hair is or they’re a green so dark they look black from afar I just can’t tell which it would be

He has serious threaded eyebrows. Law might have 90s eyebrows to an extent but Zoro is on a whole other level. He never does anything to them either, he’s actually had a whole conversation about this with Nami (she’s envious)

Zoro has a slight concern about accidentally getting his eyebrow hair shaven off somehow and them never growing back

YALL THE HAIR ON HIS EYEBROW PART OF THE SCAR STILL HASNT GROWN BACK-

He has long eyelashes but they’re straight so you don’t see them from the front (his side profile is beautiful-)

His eyes look like they turn upwards but it’s subtle

His eyes are a shade of gold I tell you!! It fits with his whole ‘tiger’ as his animal thing so well

Also also yk how guys in One Piece don’t rlly get their eye color shown unless it’s a specific frame in the anime at least? That happens with Zoro during his fight with King I’m like 90% sure

They’re a type of gold that matches the darkest shade of his earrings

I’ll forever believe his eyes were meant to be gold

He’s got that epicanthal folds trust

He under eye also has that slight puffiness to it too trust trust trust

I heard a theory abt how in his closed eye post timeskip is another soul (one of his swords) and if/when he opens it it’ll be ringed I feel like that’s worth putting here

His scar along his eye is actually a really clean cut with minimal texture differences I guess? If you run your finger across it you feel the ridge of the scarring but it isn’t messy like how Luffy’s under eye scar is

His nose is like, idk sturdy I guess? Yk his live action Mackenyu’s nose is a perfect reference imo

His lips downturn so it looks like he’s frowning or brooding a lot even when he’s not (Sanji’s threatened to fix his face countless times)

He has a scar on his bottom lip going to the end of his chin from getting cut by Kuina when they were using real blades against each other (one time Franky thought Zoro was really messy when they were eating a type of pasta that Sanji made and told him to wipe his chin..nothing came off)

He also has a cheek scar from Kuina on his right cheek going from the center of it to just below his ear (it’s really faint)

His neck has uneven flexibility because of his lack of visibility on his left side (he can turn it around like an owl to the left)

He’s naturally tan but he also soaks up sunlight like a sponge and almost never burns

Pre timeskip Zoro was obviously more lean but he was still the most jacked person on the crew. His muscles were probably more noticeable pre timeskip due to his tighter clothing than they are post timeskip even though they’re bigger now

He’s pretty well proportioned torso and leg wise, not like some of the other characters such as Sanji, Law, or Nami that are mainly legs.

Yk bros back is a holy sight

Pre timeskip he had defined abs but post timeskip he has a healthy layer of fat covering them slightly (Sanji has him on a meal plan, Zoro’s unaware he’s on said meal plan)

Bro lowkey everything about Zoro is just big post timeskip

He’s still the same height, but pre timeskip Zoro looks taller than post time skip Zoro (the muscles and baggy clothing make him look more blocky)

I feel like comparing him to 2000 Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine in Marvel’s X Men or Mackenyu for pre timeskip 👌

Then post timeskip Zoro is more comparable to say 2014 Dave Bautista’s Drax in Guardians of the Galaxy

His stomach scar is actually rough like Luffy’s under eye scar because of how it was healed and it’s probably pretty sensitive I’d assume

Bros legs are built so sturdy. If Sanji’s legs are like pillars of steel then Zoro’s legs would be bricks of iron if that makes sense

His hands are plenty calloused along his palms

He also has a good amount of smaller slash-esque scars from training with real blades along his hands, arms, and quads

It was easier for him to move around quieter pre timeskip but he’s still considerably quiet when he’s walking around

I feel like he’d be ticklish or skittish, mainly around his sides just cause he doesn’t receive physical affection that much

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I feel like I could talk abt him forever

Mwah 😽