#😭 u all r so kind
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i’ll go with you. bring her back, and i’ll go with you.
(they ate my brain)
#THIS SCENE WAS SO CRAZY I HAD TO DRAW IT#naddpod#naddpod spoilers#ba2mia#hardshine#bc theyre so real 😔#ps thank u for all of the love on the thiala doodle i had no idea it would rocket off like that#😭 u all r so kind#pps i agonized over the half coloring in this it looks weird but i am also terrified of ruining it so. dont mention anything.#moonshine cybin#hardwon surefoot
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every member of the smith/sanchez family is autistic and queer. see my vision
#rick and morty#rnm spoilers#??!????? kinda#so funny that morty is technically the straightest member of the family now 😭 minus comic content#ALSO YEAH. ILL DIE ON THE HILL OF THEM ALL BEING AUTISTIC#rick is canonically and morty is … kind of canonically?#jerry is pretty obviously autistic to me. he has a lot of typical Dad Autism interests and hobbies#and seems very unaware when it comes to social situations. also the balloon game lol… hes stimming idc#beth is sooo similar to rick. she definitely is lol and her being a weird kid is part of it#literal horse girl!!!!!!#summer is TOOOOOOO. being very obsessed w fitting in#which is obvs like. a Teenager thing but u understand right.#THESE R VERY SIMPLIFIED EXPLANATIONS ‼️‼️ im just lazy rn#but Trust me. theyre all sooo autistic its unreal. a world where neurodivergent is the norm and neurotypical is the minorty…#oh and as for the queer part. well theyve all (minus morty) had a same gender relationship in the show#and ill live and die by rick and morty being trans.
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if i read a BL manga i gotta redraw a page as lava or i will die it seems
#lego ninjago#ninjago fanart#kai smith#cole brookstone#lavashipping#my love mix-up!#this manga had me cryinggg they r all so dumb 😭😭#quicker doodle than i would like it to be but i have class so what can u do!!!#kind of wonk but whatevzzz
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Hi, sorry to bother you, I'm new in this fandom and I feel like you're kind of a big figure in here, so I wanted to know if you read fanfics and, if so, if you had any rec for me? I can't say I like the usual take on Chuuya or Dazai or their relationship in most fanfictions, making of Dazai an emotionless bully and Chuuya an angry spazz with anger management issues and absolutely no brains.
Your takes on the character seems to me closer to actual canon, and so I figured you'd probably know of fics I would actually enjoy.
(If you do, then to be more specific, I'd rather avoid fics with no powers/modern aus and if explicit, then no bottom chuuya, please? For some reasons, bottom Chuuya writers always make him to be some dainty little princess and Dazai a daddy dom which is. Hilarious. Holy fuck.
Hi!! Damn i get ur problem 😭😭 I don't read fanfics regularly exactly because i cant find things that would be close to my perception of their relationship,, even if, i read mostly oneshots
Im picky af,,
Tbh i don't really remember many fics, but for some reason i have saved a bunch of them by halfbloom (diphylleias) so i would only guess my past (months ago) self thought the writer was good real good. I dont remember most of these, but i must say i regulary reread one of their fics, "Castles out of couches" (this is a oneshot consisting of??? A lot of very short stories about skk living together) (im a sucker for domestic skk that r still silly and bickering for fun) (and this fanfic is exactly that) (instead of suddenly very cutesy and petnames using couple that some ppl write) (castles out of couches makes me giggle like a teenage girl) (i drew some old arts based on this one, even)
So i would start from there and then check other halfbloom works with tags u r interested in! (I obv skipped what i didn't wanna read right) (tho i think they mostly write skk talking things thru, which is cool)) (there may be nsfw in some ig?? But it's bearable amounts + none of that annoying uwu chuuya daddy dazai)
#sab q&a#hope these ff really were good bc i dont have time to reread em all again#either way castles out of couches 😭😭 love it#u r so real for that bottom chuuya thing#skk r so switches to me#tho most of the time reading topzai still makes me cringe#anyway#'youre kind of a big figure in here' bro 😭💛#ALSO THE FACT THAT YOU THINK MY SKK INTERPRETATION IS CLOSER TO CANON 🙏🙏#im always worried im gonna make em ooc#i hate ooc
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not me realizing what caused my flare up and why it hasnt gotten better 😭😭
#its my SHOES#the insoles r completely trodden down now and causing pain 😭😭😭💀#as if i can afford new ones this late in the sneakers season#i use skechers arch fit bcos theyre literally the only shoes ive tried that doesnt cause me massive pain from feet up to shoulders#and the insoles r done for now (which i feel is silly that i didnt realize sooner)#im looking @ alternative insoles for a lower price since the shoe itself is technically fine. but u cant buy the skechers insoles seperatel#(fuck u capitalism) but spending that kind of money on insoles that might not even work is also p terrifying tbh#ill see what i can do but for now im basically cuffed to the bed whenever i Dont have obligatory engagements with the irl outside world#my brain is sooooo fried i might as well be put in a medically induced coma 😭😭😭#arfids still rly bad too but tbh its easier now that i dont move a bunch? require less sustenance energy 🙃🙃😭#abyways sry for my rant. im holding out nd miss u all so so so much !!!!!!#these r the longest words ive written for a while. im surprised im so coherent rn#nohr.txt
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pork and beans as performed live at wonderfront!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#scott shriner#wonderfront#pork and beans#red album#AP EXAMS ARE OVER! guys i did soo so good 🤤i did so good on my world exam cuz i talked about those sweet sweet Mongols.#thag sweet yam system 🤤. no but fr! i did so good and im really happy abt it! thank you all for sending me kind regards about my exams#means the world to me!!#I LOVE YOU ALL U GUYS R SO SWEET 😭💗
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honest to gd tho i am always so dissatisfied w the fic in this fandom. if ur not a j/nto u starve, simple as that. its literally so disappointing like u go into the ao3 tag n u go woah! 20k fics! lets eat! but if ur fav is one of the girls or owen and if ur otp is anything but that main ship u get to drown. no sign of land. how many times can i reread the same couple dozen fics. idk guess we'll find out
#sss#txt#forlorn sighhh#im rlly grateful theres been a fair amount of owento fic over the yrs but ive recently been bummed bc theres nothing Sizeable#like nobody's done a 80k slow burn yanno. Thats what im craving#and im kind of working on...... Smth adjacent but i hate being the change i wanna see hfskdjf#i crave sustenance.#like ive been in dry ass fandoms that are niche enough that theres Nothing. No Fics#so i feel bad complaining#but its almost More frustrating having tons of fic but the characters u care abt r all supporting 😭#i am getting bitter with age (one year of tw spin) apologies
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my best friend (no. 4, i'll start assigning emojis soon for lore followers) asked me about BPD and i told them i'd talk more about it in person because BPD is the exact overlap of my own lived experience (note: i am not diagnosed but have extensive history with BPD in a secret more confusing way) and my psychological interest. but like now i'm thinking about it and generally speaking i think anything that was a symptom towards BPD i experienced has either grown more mild now that i'm out of an active trauma situation, OR has just become part of what i consider my amorphous CPTSD thing,
but i do like. think about the efforts to avoid perceived/real abandonment. and maybe i've not gone to the lengths some folks might with this but to be honest the more i think back to my own personal history the more i realize that i do in fact repeatedly do insane shit to avoid abandonment 😭
#NEVER beating the abandonment issues allegations#haunted by the time someone tried to break up with me and i told them they could cheat on me with other people so long as they didn't leave#ALSO haunted by the idea of breaking up with my ex causing me so much anxiety i was physically sick and begging then like very soon after#i lost pretty much all interest in my ex 😭 ALSO thinking about getting into my first relationship so that person wouldn't leave#ALSO thinking about being unable to sleep at night knowing that if i don't get a job i will never see my dad again (NOBODY SAID THIS)#also almost ******* ****** because my friends were at an unknown location together so i was convinced they hated me#also feeling ******** at the thought of my favorite professor not liking me as a student. & spending my 1st r acting out so id see them#Um. anyway i don't have BPD but i'm never really beating the allegations for it anyway#mostly because BPD and CPTSD are so similar and you have to wonder if they'd be different diagnoses if we didn't have-#-such a carceral system that stigmatizes BPD and certain kinds of survivors and condemns them to never being treated like humans <-#who said that omg...#when i lay it out it doesn't even really sound like i have abandonment issues because these all seem kind of normal#but i think maybe that's insane. I don't know. kisses u with tongue#i'm able to have healthy friendships now sometimes but some people i am deep seededly convinced will leave and betray me#and i don't really know what distinguishes one person from another but it does kill me inside !#Shout out to best friend no. 2 & no. 5. i text one when i'm episodic so i can get her attention & the other i consistently like.#Will do literally anything for so that they don't leave me
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i love being an age regressor ૮ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ tonight it feels very affirming and comforting. I've kind of always had to look out for myself and be my biggest supporter, and there are a lot of strange ways this feels like a second chilhood at times.
like i regress to being younger, but I'm also a girl now in a completely different place with completely different circumstances/social circles etc. yk?
but when i feel rly small and my reality feels so big, it makes me happy that older me is there for me to make the important decisions and guide us there :3 it's like i am holding my hand through this, i haven't had an adult rly look out for me like this and it's so nice to have one now!!
i don't have to be scared of big changes, I'm doing good and I'm here for me and i can take it easy. i have someone who is helping me ♡ i have someone who is keeping me safe. they work hard so i can be little ^.^ thanks big sis hehe ✌🏾
ouggghh im not little anymore but (。ノω\。) ♡ yeah. when i am little i can still like.. function as an adult n talk to ppl n stuff. but it's also like, well like i said before ig 0:
like im smaller but different‚ subtly. still me‚ but someone else since I'm like.. a teen?? that i never was. my childhood was nothing like my adulthood so this rly is a whole new thing little me has needed to learn 2 navigate emotionally/mentally.
but as i become more aware of when I'm in a little headspace and not, the difference in perception stands out to me a lot more. i can't articulate it very well... oughh. this is giving me very specific questions, but on that note — i am happy to feel so safe and looked out for when I'm little 😌💕 i used to feel scared and helpless but it's different now. we're doing this together 👩🏽🤝👩🏾 i got ya lil sis
#sometimes I'm a teen sometimes I'm like 6ish??#the latter is rare but hm ૮ – ﻌ–ა when I'm little older me is still aware and can handle talking to ppl and getting the sentiment across n#whatnot. i don't know off the top of my head how different teen me and younger me are from each other 0: or how similar we all are#but bc older me is always aware like we all have my memories and experiences yk? and my littles r just Here and they come n go randomly#i am curious about these headspaces..#oh ? i went into the younger headspace rn (❁´◡`❁) ♡ it is pretty different.#very docile (。ノω\。) not a lot of thoughts just like. vague feelings. she laid on my big plushie n got comfies and drifted away though#idk...... i like.. invited other parts of myself 2 come say hey 2 me and make their presence known#(。・ω・。)ノ so i can take better care of n be more responsible for us since it's not just me yk?#and like teen me is kinda bratty and angsty lol but also such a hoe 💀 i love her akskaka girl..#she's such a daddy's girl low-key?? I've never had a dad or wanted one before lol.. she a lil boycrazy 🙈💕#i mean.. so am i but she's taking it to new heights lol!! 😭 it's interesting what wires get crossed n new connections I'm making these days#but like. they're both p different from me at both their respective ages and just compared to when I'm not regressed.#the teen one's been harder to pin down just bc i kinda go in n out of that one a lot but it's been going on a lot longer than i realize#so like.. i just naturally made space for me to be that way without knowing?? but now when i regress I'm like hey what up ✌��😏#ms ma'am's here to vibe for a bit. maybe look at some cute boys‚ maybe talk some shit‚ flirt a little who knows 💀#she's kind of a hoodrat like i was ill give her that lmao 😹 she's fun#she's also a lovergirl who rly cares about our friends just like me ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡ i think on a surface lvl u wouldn't know the difference#between us unless u hung out around me a lot‚ but it's cute to think about ^.^#u are hanging out with us 👩🏽🤝👩🏾💕 we r having fun and appreciate u
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omg also I have so much tea (?) to spill online cuz I can’t do it irl 😭😭😭
#okay SO#i have this long time friend from sec school#Like we’ve known each other 6+ years now and she’s rlly nice and fun#We were much closer abt 4-5 years back when we were in the same class#But other than that we were still kind of close cuz we stay like a block from each other + we shared a class all 4 years of sec school#So now that we’ve graduated from jc we went out etc and and it’s been so fun BUT#she met this guy on discord thru a server and they had/are still having some weird situationship thing#And at first I didn’t mind her telling me abt it etc but I mighttt be a lil tired of hearing abt it#I FEEL SO BAD she’s literally done nothing wrong but idk how to express how im feeling w/out seeming like im NOT 100% supportive of her yk#Like she also had a pick me phase (we were 14 when ELSE were we going to have that phase) and has always struggled a lil w emptions/affecti#Part of which has to do w her parents so also understandable#But I find myself feeling soooo annoyed now#Like recently she texted me that she texted him that she was taking a sm break which was true but now she misses him#And she was like omg I want to turn off my feelings 😭😭😭#It makes me feel JSNXKLDLS girllll what r u doing#grow a backbone??#Maybe it’s also cuz I totally don’t understand what she sees in that guy#Omg I could make a whole other post abt how MEDIOCRE he is jkskdn#but atp im starting to miss her pick me era 😭😭😭 and I feel SO BAD it’s smth I’ve had all my life#I will dislike ppl who I find annoying even when they literally did nothing and are living their best life#KILL ME#it’s okay I’m so normal abt this hehe
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i would give anything to interview dream about youtube like not bc i want to make videos i'm just so fascinated by it and everything to do with it
#cq.rambles#mr beast too i guess 😭#mr beast is such a freak about yt though like bro acknowledges that grinding so hard is probably literally killing him and he just keeps do#ng it#alsp pk kind of unrelated but#i wish sapn.aps video had a more clear storyline to it#like a clear setting out of the goals from the beginning#bc it felt like all the advancements were just getting thrown at u and there was no way of like#knowing what was coming next ?#idk idk#also wish the ending was wayyyyless abrupt#like it was such a cute video but it was def missing Something#and i feel like thats what dream meant when he said he didnt like the editing#but who knowsss#curious to see how their future vidoes do#bc i see ppl kind of dooming about That video flopping#and i think just bc they havent uploaded for a while and bc yt and mc vids in general r down in views#they're first videos back migth all do pretty bad#but i think if they push through and start consistently uploading#views will get very good again#but wtf do i know man 😭#just fun to think about for me :p
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Why do so many psychiatrists love to gaslight. Okay, Hannibal Lecture.
If I had a nickel for every time a psychiatrist straight up told me lies I would have too fucking many and that's a problem.
#like first a psychiatrist tells me my seizures r psychological BECAUSE of my history of Forbidden Disorder and anxiety#and then they get worse and its clearly epilepsy and im on meds now and my condition was neglected bc a misdiagnosis based on stigma#and then now im like hey so i am still struggling with Forbiden Dissociative Disorder can i get some resources or a mf therapist rec#and this psych straight up tells me DID isn't a diagnosis anymore (I FOUND NO EVIDENCE OF THIS CLAIM BTW)#AND tells me my amnesia is bc of seizures.... LIKE I LIVE IN MY BODY AND U HAVE LITERALLY ONLY SPOKEN TO ME VIA PHONE#IDK I THINK I KNOW MYSELF A LITTLE MORE THAN YOU DO FUCKING JEFF#and i know the mf difference between switching and and HAVING A SEIZURE like???#those r very different things. like ik theres different kinds of seizures but for ME theres just no comparing theyre 2 different things😭#there is a clear difference between me collapsing and becoming unresponsive on the floor like a fish outta water#and me telling people to call me a different name and having completely separate identities that others notice. and i cant remember#and like ive dealt with it all long enough that I'm aware and can communicate w my alters n stuff and i have to to function#and for YEARS since highschool its been like. i talk to professionals and theyre like hm yea u basically would meet all requirements#however u might as well not get diagnosed bc no one wants to deal w that.#LIKE IVE LITERALLY BEEN TOLD THAT MULTIPLE TIMES ALMOST EXACT WORDS#and i hate how i know fake claiming being a public thing has rlly fucked w peoples perception of did n stuff#idk im so fuckin pissed man. reverting to my will graham era i fucking guess
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OK so I have an inkling of an idea for a trigun ficlet. A one-shot, really. Not really any plot, but I just have the urge to write my own interpretation of Weird Plant Shit. Like for how much ppl tag this stuff as xeno, most of it's honestly pretty tame. Which kinda makes sense, considering a lot of this is being based off of the plants in stampede, which While uncanny are not NEARLY the amount of inherent horror of the plants in the manga. There's some FREAKY shit going on there. So like. You know. What if I took more inspiration from That for Vash's freaky shit?
#speculation nation#YES this is for a smut idea. dont judge me#ive never posted smut b4 bc ive exclusively been writing akeshu & theyre teenagers#im not interested in writing smut of teenagers#but i have my interests 😭 and i am an undeniable monster fucker. we been knew.#just. vague idea. ppl have run with the plant idea. & id wanna too. but in a different sort of way.#thinking more. venus fly trap kind of situation. NOT easily translatable to human biology#the kinds of shit that may trip even the most adventurous man up. but we all know he would take it in stride in the end.#idfk so much of the allure of this pairing to me is the inherent inhuman nature of vash's physical form. and how that manifests everywhere#the human and the angel. for all that entails.#i dont have an idea for an actual story for these characters yet. my brain is spinning them but it hasnt come up with that yet#but a lil smth self indulgent to just play around with Fun Ideas? i reaaally wanna go for it.#we'll see if i end up writing this. & if i end up posting it.#im both somehow Very solidly kinky and VERY solidly shy about it. aka why i barely post about that kind of stuff.#face in my hands just talking about this here. who knows how i'd fare with posting it.#but if i go thru the trouble of writing it you BET id go thru the trouble of posting it#and you B E T itd be angsty. the inherent longing and unsaid words. what am i if not an unrepentant angst writer lol#thoughts & ideas r spinning. i will have a merry little time.#uhm. do i need to tag this as anything. is this too tmi? i dont even know#WELL if u read the word 'xeno' and keep reading that's on U. sorry#here just in case if ppl r worried i will tag this as#tmi/#sorry lol
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thank u for giving this lil blog lots of love even though i'm not as active as i used to be 🥰
#very much surprised to still see it growing and to still be receiving messages/asks even though i've been away for a bit#sorry i've been unable to answer them i promise to get to them very soon!! i appreciate all of them more than you'd ever know 🥹#people on main might not have noticed bc that one's running on a queue that goes on for 2 months at a time but dndndjjd#also don't think i explicitly mentioned the reason why i've been pretty ia but it's because uni and my other orgs are meeting-#-face to face now again#it's also my final semester in uni!! think i'm graduating with latin honors <33#life has been very busy and i really missed coming on here to hang out with everyone and create lil somethings 🥹#thank you very much for sticking with me all this time!! <3#just giving you all a bit of a life update in case u were wondering where i was hehe#though idk if ppl will even see/read this 😭#but if ure still here and u got to this part thank u again and ily <33 hope the days r increasingly kind to u & that today is a v good one!!#if not here r some flowers 🌹🌸💐🌺🌷🌻🌼🪷#and candies!! 🍭🍬#or hugs if you'd like them better 🤗🤗🫂🫂#hope u all know i'm always just here if u need a friend (even if we haven't talked b4)!! i'm just a bit slow with replies hehe#anyway#thank u again everyone <33 it's so nice to see all of u again!!#i'll try to come on here a lot more 🥰#y.txt
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speaking of soft blocking idk i dont think its worth it like if u hate me so much just block me
#this is such a internet problem like only ppl who are online all the time worry about this this is so stupid 😭 but i consider#my mutuals my friends so its almost like ur breaking our friendship up 💔 like its ok u can curate ur space idm#and i know im VERY annoying i post all the time and my personal stuff can get very annoying so i do wonder if any of my mutuals#r gonna get tired of me. like im not over one my friends that i made on here kind of... breaking our friendship up over#posts i made on tumblr abt my crush. we don't even really talk anymore#idk what im saying anymore its not that deep like u don't have to follow me but idk i do get sad sometimes its like im sorry i annoyed u#i didnt mean to 😭#the worst one was one i was compared to ppl who do modern day blackface like naur that was going too far#over a fucking photograph and a not very original thought..... like u can just block me
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it is impossible for me to get a perfect grade in a class bc i'm always like hey if i don't do this one assignment i'll still get a passing grade that's all that matters
#im really like who cares about the number as long as i didnt fail#my summer classes r abt to be over and for one of them it was literally just write 6 essay-ish assignments and youll get 100 but ofc i was#like hey if i dont do one of them ill still get a B#always trying to do the bare minimum ig#it really would not have been hard to do all 6 of them 😭#uk this is a deeper conversation but this also has to do w how a class is being taught and whether the intention of the teacher is for the#student to really be Learning or if they r just like do this and that for a grade#bc the other class im taking is being presented in a way where the focus is so much more on deeper thinking and what kind of things can u#take away from the material#and i could have skipped a class but i went to all of them#it also inspired me to read academic articles about the movies i watch? which i have never wanted to do before so . actually life changing#ANYWAYS time to write 700 words :p#mp
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