#・・・ 「 ✿ come to full flower。」

[crismakesstuff]

“What could he do? Should’ve been a rock star. But he didn’t have the money for a guitar

What could he do? Should’ve been a politician. But he never had a proper education

What could he do? Should’ve been a father. But he never even made it to his twenties”

Rex Splode : The Hanged Man

[bruciemilf]

Thinking long and hard about a “Bakugou’s always been Izuku’s sugar daddy and he just never noticed” situation.

You best believe he put together the most agressive lemonade stand to ever exist at 5. That ‘buy this or die” sign in angry red crayon was awfully motivating.

“Really, Kacchan?! Can I really have it?!” About the frankly hideous All Might sweater he’s been wanting for months.

“What kinda dumbass question is that?! You know you can have whatever you want when I’m around!”

He does grumble when Izuku kisses his cheek, but that’s just to hide the red on his face.

Then he’s 13. And everything about him is meaner, louder, colder.

“Come on, nerd, break’s almost over!”

“Sorry, Kacchan, I think there’s something wrong with the vending machine.”

Izuku does that thing with his tongue, running it over his bottom lip when he’s deep in focus.

“Tch. Move.”

He pays for him, and he has to ask him what he wants 4 times before he finally snaps because God forbid Deku would make this easy for him.

And Izuku wants to pull him down, and they both know for what. Bakugou speed walks out of there because he’s not worthy anymore.

Then he’s 18. his anger doesn’t mellow, but it softens. His feelings gain more clarity, more acceptance, waking from deep, buzzing sleep .

Izuku clings on him like a damn bunny spider, trying to wrestle the card out of his hand,

“Kacchan, please, I can pay for it!”

“Damn nerd. When I’m around you don’t have to.”

He successfully pays, and consequently he wins. Izuku can pout all he wants, but Bakugou’s still gonna smirk like a damn hound in a henhouse.

“Thank you, Kacchan, I really love it,” Izuku smiles at the damn Dynamight plushie. They never get his glare right.

He looks good when he’s happy.

“Hey, nerd.”

Bakugou taps his cheek with his finger, face blooming red and gaze avoidant. Izuku giggles at him and pulls him down to kiss his cheek.

It’s worth it.

[chick-it-out]

!!!! phlox spotted :v

[crispy-art-on-fire]

As a guy who is terminally obsessed with Blitzwing ass and loves seeing/trying to write more osdd into him, and is thus very interested in this ship

I say hit one of those two bastards with robot hanahaki (Of which I have so many headcannons, like how it's made out of metal, being literally metal flowers/roots, and the flower petals oxidizing into the colors of the other bot after a while).

I think like, Oppy boy, with how you're headcannoning him and a little of how I see him, probably wouldn't get it, but like, with your fluctuating attraction hc, what if it kept fluctuating, along with his pinning. Like he knows its wrong and he can't just say it, and since it isn't flaring up strong enough to kill him he could just... live with it. Struggle with it. Ratchet might find out a long while later and it's. What the fuck.

Although in reality it's good ol Blitzwing my stupid brain is here for. While truthfully, again, I don't think he'd get it, like hesitation to do things isn't really a trait I'd associate him with. But still. Entertaining it, I'd think Blitz would struggle the most, because I like to think of him as a little bit tsundere, yelling that he doesn't like Optimus while literally being so lovesick it's killing him. I'm sorry but I love this little hc its just for me. I'd wonder how it'd affect all three, because even if it's only one crushing hard, all three are dealing with the physical reprecussions. Do one of them spill, and does that even work? I dunno, mostly because again, I'm not sure it'd happen to Blitzwing.

So this ask was mostly just waffling and very little doing. So.

COME BACK ANON YOU'RE COOKING HERE. Optimus is definitely the type of person who'd bury his feelings and Not Mention It but it's fine he can deal with it <3 Just treating it as seasonal allergy instead of the usual life threatening disease.

Also playing around with the dynamic is very fun I welcome tsundere Blitz here he gets the worst cuteness aggression ever and in such denial about it. You'd be right that Blitzwing would probably avoid hanaki by just... saying it or getting rid of the flowers. Which is why Blitz being the one with a big huge crush would be very fun. Self-sabotage at its finest.

[nipuni]

Some photos from the last few weeks 😊

[mimimar]

page 7 of my ivy comic ✿

<previous page completed full comic> first page (prints)

[kindaasrikal]

Morro comes back with Garamdon AU except just like how only the ‘evil’ in Garmadon came back, only the ‘good’ in Morro in came back.

The ninja are stuck with a tween or child Morro and an Oni Garmadon and no one knows what to do. Makes it funnier if its Morro who looks exactly like how he did as a ghost. The whiplash at that would be crazy.

[knockknockitsnickels]

Ryis & my farmer

[poisonousquinzel]

if y'all ever want a bit of modern harlivy angst that ends happy and doesn't feel laced with ooc toxicity in the like "oh the writer's apparent reference for ivy's characteristics in their relationship is plant ivy and that's it wow..." I'd recommend their little story from DC's Harley Quinn Romances cause <33333 it's very special to me

they make me unreasonably emotional

Ivy after reading Harley's au fic where she gets to punch Joker with her at prom:

[sysig]

Growing closer than expected (Patreon)

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I think for all the discussions we have of "everyone hears the jokes and the piano; after that, they stop listening" surrounding Louis, we tend to still simplify his connection to the piano.

Yes, it's very cute that he sings Clementine a little song when they first meet, and it's very cute that he plays a little prank on her while "tuning" the piano. It's super cute that they carve their initials into the piano and Clementine carves a heart around them. It's mega cute that he names his song he wrote after her when she confesses her feelings. Louis playing Don't Be Afraid at the party is, in my opinion, one of the best moments in all of TFS.

But here's the thing: That piano is Louis' heart.

I don't mean to go all metaphorical on you, but I'm dead serious—the piano is Louis' heart, and when you think about his arc and his romance route with that in mind...?

That piano is his one comfort in a world where the dead walk. It's been with him from the beginning of the outbreak. We know from his backstory that Louis wanted to take singing lessons so he could be a real musician, and his father denying him of that was what set him off to be a "vindictive fuckhead." Louis never got those singing lessons, and it's a very real possibility that Louis taught himself how to play.

Sure, others could've taught him; we know Minerva was musically talented, perhaps she showed him a thing or two. But learning piano, or any instrument, is brutal even with professional guidance. It takes hours of practice until numbness wears fingertips raw; dedication to memorize every key and finger placement to make music pleasing to the ear; self-discipline to keep going through every fumble, every failure, every single cruel thought of self-doubt; intelligence and a creative ear to write his own songs.

And yet, it's severely under-appreciated by everyone. It's annoying. It's distracting. It's unimportant. It's an excuse for Louis to mess around and not do any real work. He doesn't have any actual talent. The music and the piano are brushed off, unheard.

Yet, Louis keeps playing. He keeps singing. He keeps making jokes.

Creating music, the one thing he wanted so badly as a kid that he destroyed his parents marriage, was possibly the greatest comfort he had... a welcome distraction to disassociate from the horror and death happening around him.

It's bittersweet, like a purpling bruise that you can't stop pressing on; it hurts, but there's something else below the pain. The piano is out of tune and it's something that brings him joy... but will always act as a constant reminder of who he was and what he did, why he's at Ericson to begin with.

We first meet him while he's playing; Louis' heart is exposed, but is it really? Is he playing to his true potential? Louis hides behind the mask of a charming, charismatic goof. It's what is expected of him, so he plays a silly song intended to poke and prod at Clementine, to gauge a reaction. That's something we see him do at multiple points in episode one. In fact, we can consider a majority of episode one to be like the song he's playing when we meet him; it's mostly cheery or fast-paced.

Louis is able to soothe AJ with his "alluring" music after the kid bit Ruby is an indication that the two of them will share a bond. Louis is a natural at communicating and bonding with the younger kids [another talent that's overlooked] so it's interesting that he praises AJ for being a natural at piano, as well.

But the song stutters just a bit when Louis and Clementine are in the woods together, though; "There's only one guarantee: this moment. That's the only you got, only thing any of us got. Might as well enjoy it." ...Only for Louis to compose himself and send her away.

It's only when Clementine has a gun in her face, held by Marlon, that the music isn't fun anymore; it's rainfall and thunder and the words "I thought you were more than that" sung through the wind in a melody only Louis can hear.

Then Marlon's dead. The song is over, and reality has arrived.

I've talked at length about Louis in ep2 and his vote in the past. It's one of the most compelling things about Louis' arc and romantic route. It's a tragic mistake driven by trauma and guilt. It's people simultaneously telling him to shut up and telling him to be angrier than he is. Telling him to stop burying his head in the sand when he's never been more aware of everything happening. It's AJ peering up at him with pleading eyes that Louis can't stand to look at. It's Clementine wrapping his heartstrings around her fingers and tugging just enough to hurt, but not break.

Louis missed Clementine. He says as much when Clementine admits she missed him first. I don't even know where to begin with that! I can think of no other way to describe it other than they are half agony, half hope over this... and if you get that reference, you get a gold star. I just- the ache, the tension, the conflicting feelings of finally having a quiet moment to talk but Louis not being ready yet.

Y'know how someone carved "you suck at playing" in the side of the piano? It's something you might not initially notice while playing the game, just as Louis' insecurities aren't apparent at first.. but they're carved in him; never fully healed, still scabbed and bleeding... Until Clementine offers him a bandage.

She won't clean the wound for him, but she'll be there. She'll help him figure out how to do it himself so he can heal. She'll listen to him, not belittle his feelings or pain. She'll make an effort to know his keys and notes and practice playing his song until she understands.

When Clementine chooses him to spend time with him, it's a mirror of their first time meeting... but this time, Louis plays something real: a song he wrote, one that I believe he crafted during the two week time skip... a song he wrote with Clementine on his mind, for better or worse.

If the piano is Louis' heart, he literally asks her to sit there and try to tune it, which ends up being a joke but I say she's already tuned your heart, my guy. It's there before them, changed in the warm candlelight. He plays for her and opens up about how no one actually listens, but Clementine did.

And remember, this is the night of the raid. They don't know it's coming, but they know it'll be soon. Louis understands that he could very well die, so what does he do? He carves his initial into the one thing he's always had, and he asks Clementine to do the same.

I'm sorry, how are we NOT more feral about this? Prior to this scene, the only thing we see carved into the piano, into Louis' heart, is an insult. This thing that Louis cares so deeply about, this instrument that's become so intertwined with who he is... he wants to leave his mark on it just in case he dies. A reminder that it was his and he belonged to it just as much. Something so important, and he asks Clementine to carve herself into his heart where no matter what, they will be immortalized together in this moment.

And when Clementine carves a heart around their initials? Yes, his reaction is very cute and that's great... but she's not ashamed of him, or her feelings for him. She wants everyone who looks upon his heart to know that. She tells him how she feels and Louis is so giddy, and warm, and he names the song after her and I am going to start biting anything that moves, I can't-

Oh, and let's discuss the party scene in episode three, shall we? Y'know, where the heart covered initials are on full display? Where Louis tells the story of why he was sent to Ericson to everyone?

Louis is so... vulnerable. Sincere. Ashamed of what he did. This is the exposed nerve, the one he was so afraid of showing Clementine but there it is... and she doesn't reject him. Sure, she can say it's fucked up if you choose to, but she doesn't break up with him over it.

Also the fact that everyone sitting around him finally listens when he's at his most unshielded only for Tenn to ask him to play Don't Be Afraid for them after...? How do you not see the connection? Are you trying to make me cry? In that moment, Louis' heart was heard and appreciated and beautiful and strong and-

Listen. I am fine. I'm so normal about this. And fine. I'm fine.

But I also have to add that during the walk in episode four, if you let Louis choose what to add to the imaginary house, he picks a brand new piano because he wants a new heart to reflect the confidence and growth Clementine helped him achieve and because he loves her and AJ so much that wants the new heart to not just be his but also theirs and I am so fine with this, okay.

[lazzincats]

Sketchy flower boys

Not exactly what i was going for so probably do for a re sketch

[front-facing-pokemon]

[nakoayas]

Maisora Hitomi × Minami Maito Special Talk for Maisora's photobook Sincerely ~my twinkling dreams~

Scanned from my personal collection.

Translated interview by @yuzukahibiscus under the cut!

Maisora: It almost felt like I had been in Flower Troupe for so many years and months, and yet it’s hard to believe that it’s only 3 years. I think the reason I felt that this time felt so meaningful was because of the time I spent together with Minami-san. I wanted to take this opportunity to say what I’m grateful for… so thank you for coming today!

Minami: Thank you for inviting me, I’m very glad to be here (LOL). When Maisora came to Flower Troupe… and when I saw you play Hanna in Hanna’s Florist, I thought “this girl will definitely become a star”. But at the time, since I still saw you as “the underclassman Maisora Hitomi”, we didn’t talk much (LOL).

Maisora: Both Minami-san and I are shy people… (LOL)

Minami: I’m not the type to talk to underclassmen so enthusiastically (LOL).

Maisora: I think our relationship changed because of Minami-san’s starring Bow Hall performance Senhor CRUZEIRO!. When it was announced that I would be in this performance, before we went into our actual rehearsals… I remember that we went to take tango lessons together after our Tokyo performances in our previous Grand Theatre performance (The Poe Clan).

Minami: But at first both of us were very careful. Just wondering, “should we do it…like this…today?” (LOL).

Maisora: Both of us were quite nervous (LOL). This was almost the first time that I’m paired to dance with an otokoyaku, not to mention how difficult the dance genre of tango is… it became a greater challenge. From when we began our rehearsals, there were also other genres of dance I had to perform in various scenes, but every day Minami-san would take the time to practise tango with me. After the various lessons, you would say “Okay, let’s practise tango now!!”

Minami: I thought “let’s go!!!” (LOL). We kept practising. I think in Takarazuka revue shows, rather than just the genre of tango, this concentration for serious choreography between the pairing of otokoyaku and musumeyaku, so they’re quite difficult. In normal Takarazuka dance scenes, I’d say a complimentary effect happens when the otokoyakuk leads the musumeyaku step by step, but tango can’t be made possible if the otokoyaku and musumeyaku aren’t dancing as contrasting equals. Then I started to realise there’s no time to be shy anymore (LOL). We started thinking how we could make the dance look better, and our relationship became one like comrades when we had the same goal.

Maisora: Yes. I couldn’t remember how many times I accidentally stepped on your feet…

Minami: (LOL).

Maisora: You said “Don’t worry about it!’ “It’s okay if you got it wrong, just try it once more!” Every day, I observed how sharp Minami-san was with her dance moves… I think that didn’t impact just me, but also all of our members too.

Minami: No, no, no…

Maisora: During the performances, when I came back to the company every morning before the performances, you were already getting ready (LOL). You were always so diligent on yourself.

Minami: Did that really happen…

Maisora: Since going on stage and going to rehearsals were so different, I still felt nervous over it. I thought, what if I couldn’t dance as I thought I would? But at the time, I thought of overcoming this with an unwavering mindset…

Minami: I felt the same. Because if one of us were uncertain, then the other should support her!

Maisora: You were so fantastic at leading the dance.

Minami: No, Maisora has great sense too. You’re like this now as well, but you have always been straightforward without thinking too much.

Maisora: Because at the time, I didn’t know anything.

Minami: Yes, but that also makes accomplishing things much easier. And your body balance has always been firm. I guess both of us were diligent in body training. I also think that we’re quite passionate the same way we approach things.

Maisora: Yes. I wanted to focus on that scene, because it conveyed a world where only two people remain. Then on the closing day, before I realised it, the scene was already over… Before I noticed it, I was already hearing the audience’s applause.

Minami: The applause was deafening. I was really glad.

Maisora: The moment I heard the applause, I remember how happy I felt to be on stage, that I still remember how it feels now.

Minami: Me too.

Maisora: I was truly happy. And then afterwards, we went on the national tour Melancolique Gigolo / EXCITER!! 2018 in the same year.

Minami: We danced tango as a pair again in the prologue of this show. Because the two of us wanted to show this burning passion, to look cooler than any other couple! (LOL).

Maisora: It was as if we turned this switch on (LOL).

Minami: Yes, yes.

Maisora: You told me, “Dance more, dance more!”, so I said, “Yes, I’m coming!!”

Minami: (LOL). I don’t usually do that. But that’s because I trust Maisora.

Maisora: The “Havana” scene too..!!

Minami: That was fun too. I remember that scene made me realise again, “Wow, Maisora is so good!”

Maisora: No, no, no… I’ve loved EXCITER!! for a long time, so I was really happy to be in this scene in this show that I used to watch a lot. And as the national tour ended, there was the TAKARAZUKA SPECIALS, and the rehearsals for CASANOVA began… what a dizzying schedule.

Minami: That’s true.

Maisora: In which you told me after the TAKARAZUKA SPECIALS was over, “You did great in the national tour, let’s work hard together!”

Minami: Huh, really? I don’t remember that at all (LOL).

Maisora: I thought Minami-san also worked so hard for it too, but hearing your words really made me so happy.

Minami: No, I mean Maisora too was so busy, but didn’t you and Hana Yuuki-chan create this national tour photo album for Rei (Yuzuka) and me? “How cute these girls are”, we thought. Now I still cherish that album. I come to look at it once in a while.

Maisora: Thank you. Later, it was announced that I’d be transferring.

Minami: I was too shocked to hear that…

Maisora: When I told everyone, I remembered Minami-san disappeared elsewhere.

Minami: At that time, I just couldn’t come to accept it… I don’t know (LOL).

Maisora: Even after we were in different troupes, every time we met, it was as if our relationship never changed, since you’d call out to me, “Hey, Maisora!” like that.

Minami: That’s because I still see you as my friend and comrade.

Maisora: Thank you. I’m so grateful. And then time flew by… then came the Hakataza performance Me And My Girl!!

Minami: I was surprised. Hearing from the company that I’d be performing in Star Troupe’s Me And My Girl and Maisora would be playing Sally, I screamed… I even worry if the whole company could hear the echoes of my screaming (LOL). After I became a Senka member, when I heard that my first performance would be with Maisora, I was deeply thankful from the bottom of my heart. How can this destiny be possible, I thought.

Maisora: I was also surprised. Before our rehearsals, together with Akatsuki-san, the three of us went to Hakataza for the interviews.

Minami: That’s right. Both me and Ari-chan (Akatsuki Chisei) were shy (LOL). Thanks to Maisora that we were able to break the ice. I was grateful to spend the time with you two.

Maisora: Then our rehearsals began. You had to play both Bill and Sir John… I can’t imagine how difficult that would be.

Minami: At first, I was like “you’re lying” (LOL). But looking back, that was such a valuable experience. I think Star Troupe members, led by Co-chan (Rei Makoto), were all very energetic and powerful, and that’s exactly how you all were. At first I was really overwhelmed by your power.

Maisora: I remember you telling me that.

Minami: Everyone was so bright and straightforward, so I was inspired by the Star Troupe members’ philosophy of “Let’s give it a try” on anything. While creating the role, I could feel how difficult it was because many seniors performed this performance in the past. And to me, I wanted to bring something out of me, so that I could perform it like how a particular actress did it in my favourite Me And My Girl version. But the director Miki Akio-sensei said, focus on creating the Me And My Girl with these members this time. And then, I was most moved by Maisora’s growth. As a Top Musemayku, you had various experiences… and there must be countless things you have to consider that I didn’t know. But with the guidance from Co-chan and from all members of Star Troupe, I believe you worked even harder. So to feel this Maisora Hitomi was really amazing…

Maisora: Nothing… like that at all. It’s because everyone was guiding me.

Minami: The applause was deafening. I was really glad.

Maisora: Since this was a musumeyaku role I admire, I was concerned and frustrated and couldn’t find myself breaking through this bottleneck, and when I was troubled with these things, Minami-san would kindly guide me along. Since you already knew me back when I knew nothing, so I’m delighted that you could tell me how you really felt or thought when you look at me now.

Minami: Sometimes I find it difficult to express my thoughts if what I say will have a negative effect, but I also believe that there`s no good in being reserved and not telling you... because you`re my comrade Maisora.

Maisora: I’m so thankful.

Minami: Even though it would be great if I took care of myself the same way (LOL). But I certainly feel that the quality of the performance shouldn’t drop. And I think that’s possible because the members were leading me.

Maisora: No, no, I believe that it’s because Minami-san led everyone!! You always cared how everyone was doing… And even though you were already busy with your two roles, you wrote every one of us a letter and gave it to us on the last day of performance, just like what you did during Senhor CRUZEIRO!!.

Minami: Well, there’s that (LOL).

Maisora: You wrote to me, “When I’m with Maisora, there’s nothing I have to worry about and I can tell you everything, and so I’d like to aim higher”. You don’t know how happy that made me feel. Thank you so much (cries).

Minami: Thank you too.

Minami: Earlier, I watched your Music Salon, and it was really amazing.

Maisora: Thank you, for writing such a warm message to me.

Minami: Did I (LOL)? Well, that’s because you sent me a long message first. I hope that you’ll be healthy in mind and body until the end… I’m looking forward to it, that while you may be fighting it to the end, I hope you can accomplish everything and complete your Takarazuka journey to the end.

Maisora: Thank you.

Minami: Ah yes. My fans told me that they found me calling you ���Maisora” in a manner with such affection and love… so I hope you understand if I continue calling this as such (LOL).

Maisora: Speaking of that, during Me And My Girl, I think you called me “Hitomi” at some point.

Minami: I did (LOL). Everyone in Star Troupe were surprised to see me calling you “Maisora”... even you told me so. I remember you telling me, “You called Hana (Yuuki)-san as Hana-chan♡ too so why are you calling me ‘Maisora’”... And I had to do my best explaining to you why my affection for each of you was different, but in the end I did call you ‘Hitomi’. I said, “Hitomi, you did well.” But then…

Maisora: It was quite awkward for me to hear that… So I said you can still call me Maisora just fine (LOL).

Minami: And I’m like what… In the end, I’m back to calling you Maisora.

Maisora: (LOL).

Minami: … With that, I hope Maisora will always be Maisora.

Maisora: Okay!! (LOL)

BONUS!!!

Caption: In this photoshoot, since both are splendid dancers, they kept doing more mature and fantastic poses, but... they kept chattering before and after the shoot, and that's the Maitii and Maisora who kept laughing all about.`

[prince-liest]

Got some new violets in the mail! Three miniatures/semi-miniatures that I ordered, and one surprise freebie. Literally all four were in bud or in bloom when I opened the box, which was absolutely delightful.

Hunter's White Tail Fawn. I love the sheer sparkle of the flowers, and how cheerfully green the leaves are. I have a number of violets with darker leaves so this is a nice change. Also, they're nice and pointed! This is a miniature, so it's going to spend its whole life in a tiny little 2 inch pot, which is just so cool to me.

Rob's Cotton Ball, a semi-miniature. Mine on the left (in bud), site photo on the right. I don't have any pure white violets yet, and I'm obsessed with the sheer volume/ruffle of the triple blooms. Cannot WAIT to see this one open up!

Golden Eye, another semi-miniature. Mine on the left (in bud), site photo on the right. Fully yellow African Violets don't really exist, but this is about as close to it as they get! Plus really cool variegated foliage that is way prettier than I expected. A lot of the time they don't open as yellow as the photo on the right, so we shall see! Either way it's a beautiful and interesting plant.

Here's an interesting quote on the topic of yellow violets from u/fuzzyfuzzyclickclack on reddit: "[...]because petals are specialized anthers, current yellow hybrids have been distorted to retain some of their yellow anther color, but it's a tradeoff between retaining the yellow of the anther and not actually having a flower petal which makes having a fully butter-yellow petaled violet currently implausible. There have been recent genetic engineering experiments focused on introducing yellow producing genes into violets, but when if ever these plants will come into the hands of hybridizers (and subsequently the general market) remains an open question." [source]

And the surprise freebie violet! They were nice enough to notice that I ordered exclusively minis and semi-minis and sent me another miniature. The label says this is Rob's Pogo Stick (semi-mini) but I'm going to be totally honest, it looks nothing like the listing for that plant, haha. I'll have to wait until more flowers open, but I'm fairly convinced that this is a mislabeled Jersey Jackpot (mini). Maybe I'm wrong! We shall see... I'll repot it as if it's a Jersey Jackpot for now, though.

[bewitchingbloom]

same ghosts in a new home

I've been trying to find some writing prompts to turn to when I want to write but don't know what, and when these prompts passed by my dash earlier I knew I found the list to pull from. I used a random number generator to pick which prompt to write. Up first we have:

same ghosts in a new home (961 words)

Fandom: Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous

Rating: T for implied sexual activity (nothing graphic)

Ship: The Commander/Daeran/Woljif

Other notes: Second Person POV

In some of the books you’d read in the past, you’d run into descriptions of the lingering effects of an argument. You’d always dismissed them as poetic hogwash. But now, as you stand in the middle of the sitting room of our new home, you could swear there was an echo, the last vestiges of heated words and raised voices falling back through time to haunt you. 

Truthfully, you're not sure what you said to set Woljif off, or why I was upset with your refusal to apologize. We knew what you were like by now, and you thought you were being nice. Though, if you're being honest with yourself, you know how your words can land more like poisoned barbs than playful jabs. This fight might not be entirely your fault, but you're not completely innocent in it either. 

With a sigh, you turn towards the liquor cabinet, situated right next to the stairway you once sat in waiting for us to join you in. You remember the soft words and the heated embraces, reminders that your melancholy was as ephemeral as it was unfounded. Even now, the memory brings a small smile to your lips. “You will never pale into insignificance.” “You're stuck with us, Your Excellency.” 

To the hells with it. Abandoning your original trajectory, you turn towards the door. Judging by the light filtering in through the window, you have a couple hours yet before the sun goes down. Perhaps you have a plan, perhaps you just want some fresh air. Either way, you’re out of the house before you even realize it. 

****

Now, as for you, Woljif, you had stormed out of the house into the backyard. It was still mostly an overgrown ruin, a choking tangle of weeds and debris that I intend to one day transform into a garden bursting with life. The only thing of note was the small part of the Sellen River that flowed through it, a sliver of pure, bubbling water that you once spent an evening frolicking in with Daeran and I. The memories are pleasant, and the guilt that pervades you at their arrival is entirely unwelcome. 

With an aggravated sigh, you pull one of your daggers out of its holster. Even now it’s a habit to make sure you’re armed. Maybe there will come a day when you don’t feel the need, and when it comes, that’s how you’ll know you’ve truly lost your edge. With a frown, you toss the knife at a nearby stump. It sticks with a loud thud, not unlike the sound the door made when you slammed it come out here. 

Your edge…that’s what this about. Just two years ago you were still running with the Family and scrabbling to get by day to day. Now, here you are, married to two of the most prestigious people in the country and the beginnings of a home to call your own. This is something you should be happy about, and you are! But there is a part of you that feels like you’re betraying everything you’d ever known, stabbing the boy you once were in the back for the first shred of kindness and love that had been shown to you. 

You pull the dagger free, all the anger in your veins dying as the blade comes loose from the wood. Daeran didn’t mean anything by it, but the quip had been phrased just right, careless in the way only someone who’d never faced such hardship could be. Now you know that the wounds of your past still stung.

Taking a deep breath, you flop onto the stump, staring out into the sunlit water. Just a few more minutes, then you’ll be ready to go back inside. Whether it’ll be to make amends or fan the flames again, you’re not sure. But judging by the loose grip you have on your dagger, you are so much more tired of holding grudges than you realized. 

****

At least, I want to believe these are the thoughts that ran through both of your heads. Earlier, when Daeran’s comment landed poorly and led to the most explosive fight I’d seen you two have since the Crusade, I’d felt perfectly useless. All of us still carry the ghosts of our past, and we’d spent so long trying to bury mine that I’d forgotten that you two still had yours to deal with. Words cannot describe how inadequate I felt as a partner in that moment.

Now, the three of us are lying on the floor of the living room, my shortcomings only still plaguing my own mind. You two had made up hours ago, and we carried on our evening in the way newlyweds are wont to do. But as you two drifted off to sleep, I found myself lying awake, haunted by my own, brand new ghost - the one borne of fear that one day I’d lose both of you. I’d been so wrapped up in the tangible ways that could happen, I didn’t realize all the other ways it could happen. 

The two of you lie on either side of me, your hands clasped below my breasts as your breathing evens out. The floor is far from comfortable, and the throw pillows from the couch aren’t much better, but just being here with you two…it doesn’t make it more comfortable, but there’s no other place I’d rather be. The crackling fire wants to lull me to sleep, and I know I should rouse you two before morning comes and the housemaid finds the three of us lying here naked. But for the moment, I am just savoring this moment, and thinking of ways we can help our ghosts to play nicely together in our new home.