#i am a fluff girlie but i know a lot of people have expressed interest in how the throuple handles fights in past asks

[arendaes]

same ghosts in a new home

I've been trying to find some writing prompts to turn to when I want to write but don't know what, and when these prompts passed by my dash earlier I knew I found the list to pull from. I used a random number generator to pick which prompt to write. Up first we have:

same ghosts in a new home (961 words)

Fandom: Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous

Rating: T for implied sexual activity (nothing graphic)

Ship: The Commander/Daeran/Woljif

Other notes: Second Person POV

In some of the books you’d read in the past, you’d run into descriptions of the lingering effects of an argument. You’d always dismissed them as poetic hogwash. But now, as you stand in the middle of the sitting room of our new home, you could swear there was an echo, the last vestiges of heated words and raised voices falling back through time to haunt you. 

Truthfully, you're not sure what you said to set Woljif off, or why I was upset with your refusal to apologize. We knew what you were like by now, and you thought you were being nice. Though, if you're being honest with yourself, you know how your words can land more like poisoned barbs than playful jabs. This fight might not be entirely your fault, but you're not completely innocent in it either. 

With a sigh, you turn towards the liquor cabinet, situated right next to the stairway you once sat in waiting for us to join you in. You remember the soft words and the heated embraces, reminders that your melancholy was as ephemeral as it was unfounded. Even now, the memory brings a small smile to your lips. “You will never pale into insignificance.” “You're stuck with us, Your Excellency.” 

To the hells with it. Abandoning your original trajectory, you turn towards the door. Judging by the light filtering in through the window, you have a couple hours yet before the sun goes down. Perhaps you have a plan, perhaps you just want some fresh air. Either way, you’re out of the house before you even realize it. 

****

Now, as for you, Woljif, you had stormed out of the house into the backyard. It was still mostly an overgrown ruin, a choking tangle of weeds and debris that I intend to one day transform into a garden bursting with life. The only thing of note was the small part of the Sellen River that flowed through it, a sliver of pure, bubbling water that you once spent an evening frolicking in with Daeran and I. The memories are pleasant, and the guilt that pervades you at their arrival is entirely unwelcome. 

With an aggravated sigh, you pull one of your daggers out of its holster. Even now it’s a habit to make sure you’re armed. Maybe there will come a day when you don’t feel the need, and when it comes, that’s how you’ll know you’ve truly lost your edge. With a frown, you toss the knife at a nearby stump. It sticks with a loud thud, not unlike the sound the door made when you slammed it come out here. 

Your edge…that’s what this about. Just two years ago you were still running with the Family and scrabbling to get by day to day. Now, here you are, married to two of the most prestigious people in the country and the beginnings of a home to call your own. This is something you should be happy about, and you are! But there is a part of you that feels like you’re betraying everything you’d ever known, stabbing the boy you once were in the back for the first shred of kindness and love that had been shown to you. 

You pull the dagger free, all the anger in your veins dying as the blade comes loose from the wood. Daeran didn’t mean anything by it, but the quip had been phrased just right, careless in the way only someone who’d never faced such hardship could be. Now you know that the wounds of your past still stung.

Taking a deep breath, you flop onto the stump, staring out into the sunlit water. Just a few more minutes, then you’ll be ready to go back inside. Whether it’ll be to make amends or fan the flames again, you’re not sure. But judging by the loose grip you have on your dagger, you are so much more tired of holding grudges than you realized. 

****

At least, I want to believe these are the thoughts that ran through both of your heads. Earlier, when Daeran’s comment landed poorly and led to the most explosive fight I’d seen you two have since the Crusade, I’d felt perfectly useless. All of us still carry the ghosts of our past, and we’d spent so long trying to bury mine that I’d forgotten that you two still had yours to deal with. Words cannot describe how inadequate I felt as a partner in that moment.

Now, the three of us are lying on the floor of the living room, my shortcomings only still plaguing my own mind. You two had made up hours ago, and we carried on our evening in the way newlyweds are wont to do. But as you two drifted off to sleep, I found myself lying awake, haunted by my own, brand new ghost - the one borne of fear that one day I’d lose both of you. I’d been so wrapped up in the tangible ways that could happen, I didn’t realize all the other ways it could happen. 

The two of you lie on either side of me, your hands clasped below my breasts as your breathing evens out. The floor is far from comfortable, and the throw pillows from the couch aren’t much better, but just being here with you two…it doesn’t make it more comfortable, but there’s no other place I’d rather be. The crackling fire wants to lull me to sleep, and I know I should rouse you two before morning comes and the housemaid finds the three of us lying here naked. But for the moment, I am just savoring this moment, and thinking of ways we can help our ghosts to play nicely together in our new home.

[bellafarella]

Fluff oh your jealous

Misc I think I just ripped my pants

Do your best bestie 😘

Thanks for prompting these bestie! <3

The sentences came from this post. This work has been added to my series: Shameless Sentence Prompts on AO3.

Fluff #5: “OH you’re jealous!”

**********************************************

You're my best friend

Ever since they moved into their apartment, Ian’s been making friends with others who live in the same building as them. Whether it’s at the gym or at the pool, he even made one in the laundry room, Ian is collecting new friends. Mickey’s happy that his husband has found other people to spend time with. What he doesn’t really like is being forced to also hang out with these people. There are just some he does not want to have to fake being nice to. The couple he met when they first got there and Mickey had what Ian now calls the pool tantrum like he’s fucking six years old and was told he had to stop playing in the pool. Mickey doesn’t remember their names but they definitely don’t care that they don’t see Mickey and only hang out with Ian. There’s also the lesbian couple that live right above them that Mickey doesn’t like either. They’re so boring, unlike any lesbian couple he’s ever seen - which is only Debbie and whatever girl of the week she’s seeing. They like to debate a lot and Mickey just can’t deal with it.

Tonight though, they’re having over this gay couple who live a few doors down. Ian met one of them by the pool - shocker - and has been hanging out with them quite a bit. They also like to garden so they go to the market together a lot and do yoga and all that boujee ass shit Mickey hates doing but does because Ian asks him to. Now Ian’s got a friend to do that with so Mickey agreed to a double date or whatever the fuck this is so that he could meet his husband’s new friend and his husband. Ian hasn’t met the husband yet either but he’s heard a lot about him from his friend and has filled Mickey in. Well, Mickey’s only half listening.

There’s a knock on the door so Ian calls from the kitchen, “Mick, get that please!”

Mickey groans as he gets up, taking his beer with him and chugging down the rest as he goes, leaving the empty can on the table. He opens the door and sees two guys. “Hey,” he nods his head to them. “Uh, come in.” He steps aside, letting them both in before closing the door.

“You must be Mickey! I’m David,” the tall, darked haired man says. “I’m the one who keeps stealing your husband away,” he adds with a laugh.

“Nice to meet you,” he says because he doesn’t know what else to say and isn’t that what polite people do?

“And this is my husband, Patrick,” he says as he rubs the slightly shorter man’s broad shoulders. He has light brown hair that’s just starting to show is curly and he has these hazel eyes that look so soft.

Patrick smiles, offering his hand to Mickey. Mickey shakes it as Patrick says, “It’s nice to meet you, Mickey.”

“Yeah, you too,” he says, noticing how strong the man’s shake is.

Just then Ian comes out of the kitchen, no longer wearing that super girly apron Debbie bought them as a gag housewarming gift. He has a grin on as he makes his way over. “David!” he says walking over and hugging him. David squeezes back, eyes shutting, and his big hands rub at his back. He has four gold bands on his left hand. Fancy.

Ian gets introduced to Patrick and Mickey wanders off, taking his empty beer to the kitchen and tossing the can in the recycling. “Can I get anybody a drink?” he calls out.

“I brought a red!” David says as Mickey pokes his head out to look, seeing Patrick holding a bottle in his right hand. “Honey, go help Mickey,” he hears David tell his husband, again rubbing his shoulder. Patrick smiles at him, kisses his lips once before excusing himself and heading for the kitchen.

They nod at each other when he joins him in the kitchen. Mickey gets three glasses out for Patrick to pour them wine, as Mickey grabs another beer for himself. “Not a wine drinker?” Patrick asks, nodding to the can Mickey cracks open.

“Nah, not really,” he tells him.

“Me neither,” Patrick admits with a small chuckle.

Mickey opens the fridge and grabs another can. “Beer?” he asks him.

Patrick nods so he hands it to him. “Thanks,” Patrick says. He puts the can down, pours their husband’s a glass of wine and they each grab one and their own beers before rejoining.

David and Ian are already sitting on the sofa chatting and Ian throws his head back laughing. Mickey’s never seen Ian laugh like that in front of anyone but him and his family. He hands Ian the wine glass before sitting on the chair near him.

They do the obligatory small talk - how did you meet, how long have you been married, how long have you been together, what do you do for work. Stuff that they probably already know if Ian told David already but from their curious expressions and interest in their answers, it doesn’t seem like Ian’s gotten into much detail, not like they are now.

-

Ian made lasagna because apparently it’s Patrick’s favorite and always asks David to make it. It was really good. Ian and David go out on the balcony, leaving the screen door open only so that they could still hear them if need be. Mickey sits on the sofa with Patrick, scrolling through the channels. They both have fresh beers and Mickey finds a baseball game on so he puts that.

“You a fan?” Patrick asks, nodding to the screen.

Mickey shrugs. “Yeah, I mean I’ve never really kept up all that much. Didn’t really have a normal childhood but um, when Ian and I started dating or whatever, we used to sneak into games all the time. We were like seventeen - or well, I was, he was like fifteen or sixteen.”

Patrick has a soft smile on his face which reminds Mickey a lot of Ian, and that soft smile he gets sometimes when he looks at him. “That’s really sweet that you’ve been together for that long.”

“Had a lot of breakups and setbacks on the way,” Mickey tells him.

“But you’re here now.”

“Yeah,” Mickey smiles before rubbing at his mouth with his thumb. He clears his throat. “You a fan?”

“Oh huge fan. Used to play for my school’s team. Could have gone pro,” Patrick tells him.

“No shit,” Mickey says. “Why didn’t you?”

“Life,” he shrugs. “Responsibilities. Thoughts about what I should be instead of what I was.”

“I hear that,” Mickey says before knocking his can into Patrick’s.

-

Mickey likes Patrick. He’s not annoying. He likes sports but not obnoxiously so. He’s only come to terms with his sexuality late in life, something he can relate to. He likes math. He has a sense of humor. He likes beer. So far, this is one person in his building that he doesn’t hate.

Ian and David finally come back inside and Mickey’s laughing at Patrick’s reaction to a call made in the game. “Dude, you’re fuckin’ dramatic,” Mickey tells him.

“Pah!” Patrick makes an offended noise. “I definitely am not the dramatic one in my relationship.”

“Excuse me? What did I just walk into?” David asks, eyebrows drawn and mouth hard.

“Nothing,” Patrick tells him, pulling him down to him so he can kiss him on the lips.

David kisses him back and when he pulls away and stands back upright he says, “Mhm, sure.”

“What were you laughing about?” Ian asks as he sits in the chair next to Mickey, kicking at his foot lightly.

“Nothin’,” Mickey tells him and turns to wink at Patrick, making them both laugh and leaving their husbands confused.

“Okay, this isn’t fun for us,” David says, getting up. “More wine, Ian?”

“I’m gonna take a beer,” Ian says as he gets up, following David to the kitchen. They come back to join their husbands - Patrick now in the middle of the sofa in between David and Mickey, and Ian left to the chair next to Mickey’s side of the sofa.

Mickey finishes off his beer so he gets up, tosses it and grabs a new one before heading to their room to grab his smokes and lighter. “Either of you smoke?” he asks the new couple as he passes through the living room.

“No,” they both say.

Mickey shrugs. He’s about to light one when Ian says, “Let’s go outside for one, Mick,” getting up from his seat. “You guys don’t mind?”

“No, no, go for it,” David shoos them away so Ian and Mickey step outside on their balcony, closing the full door behind them so the smoke doesn’t go inside.

“Our fuckin’ house, could have let me smoke inside,” Mickey grumbles as he lights his smoke now, leaning against the railing and looking out over the pool.

“Would have been rude, Mick, they don’t smoke,” Ian sighs, coming next to him, close enough that their elbows are touching against the railing where they rest their arms.

“Whatever,” Mickey says through a lungful of smoke. “They’re cool,” he adds after a few quiet beats.

“Yeah?” Ian smiles, looking at his husband.

Mickey shrugs. “Yeah, I mean, Patrick is. I don’t know much about David,” he tells him.

“Ah,” Ian notes, nodding his head and turning back to face the pool again.

“What’s wrong?” Mickey asks after a minute.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not.”

“Are to. You got all quiet and you don’t usually unless you’re annoyed so just tell me what it is,” Mickey tells him. He knows Ian better than he knows himself most days.

“I don’t know - you just got like really chummy in there. I don’t know, it’s dumb,” Ian rushes to say.

“OH you’re jealous!” Mickey says, connecting the dots.

“What!?” Ian asks in that dramatic way he does. “Why would I be jealous? He’s married. We’re married.”

“You’re so jealous,” Mickey teases. He puts his cigarette out in the ashtray Ian bought so Mickey stops tossing cigarette butts out towards the pool and getting them in trouble.

“Mickey,” Ian warns.

“Are you jealous because I like him or because he likes me?”

“Both?” Ian asks with a small smile on his face.

“You’re an idiot,” Mickey laughs as Ian wraps his arms around Mickey’s shoulders and leans down, kissing him softly on the lips. Mickey holds onto Ian, pulling him in closer and sliding his tongue into his husbands mouth, showing him why he has no reason to be jealous.

There’s loud knocking on the door before it slides open. “Oh my God, we can totally leave if you two need to you know,” David says before he does some weird winking/blinking face.

Mickey knows he turns beet red, he can feel it. Ian laughs and tells David to fuck off for a second before turning back to Mickey. “Finishing this later,” he whispers. Ian winks at him before heading back inside. Mickey stays out there for another smoke, needing it after that.

-

Cuddled up and ready to pass the fuck out, Mickey lays on his back, naked, with Ian half on top of him. Mickey’s eyes are closed, waiting for sleep to come as he listens to Ian breathing, his soft, warm breath hitting his chest, and his gentle fingers tracing his name tattooed on Mickey’s chest.

“You asleep?” Ian whispers.

“Not yet,” he whispers back, turning his head slightly, Ian’s soft hair tickling his nose.

Ian lifts his head so that his chin is now digging into Mickey’s chest. He looks at him, barely any light illuminating his face, and says, “So you liked them right? Did we finally make couple friends that we can hang out with?”

Mickey chuckles softly, shaking Ian’s head since he’s still resting it on him. “They’re definitely better than anyone else you’ve made me meet but -”

Ian waits and when Mickey doesn’t continue he asks, “But what?”

Mickey sighs, shifting slightly. “I just don’t care about any of these people. I like when it’s just us.”

“Awww, Mick,” Ian coos, snuggling closer by shoving his face into his neck and kissing him all over.

“Okay, okay, okay, stop, Ian,” Mickey warns as he feels like he’s going to lose it soon, getting ticklish.

“That was so fuckin’ cute,” Ian says after he pulls back, giving Mickey some personal space.

“Not cute,” Mickey grumbles.

“You are. You want me all to yourself,” Ian says and even though Mickey can’t see it, he knows Ian has a huge fuckin’ grin on his face.

“Yeah so I actually like my husband and spending time with him, sue me,” Mickey says, making Ian laugh.

Ian tilts Mickey’s head towards him and kisses him softly. He only catches Mickey’s top lip but with some adjusting, they kiss sweetly and so filled with love. “I love you, Mickey. You’re my best friend and I love spending all my time with you,” he tells him softly.

“Okay well then I guess sometimes we can hang out with them again. Not every fuckin’ week though.”

“Deal,” Ian says before kissing his cheek loudly then getting back into position with his head on Mickey’s chest and fingers lightly tracing his tattoo.

Mickey holds him close, kissing the top of his head. “Night baby,” he whispers against his hair.

Ian kisses his chest, “Night baby.”

[itoldsunset]

rewatching ipytm episode 2: thoughts

apologies in advance for this very messy, very long bullet scene-by-scene commentary!

summary: this was a very hard episode to watch and rewatch. the frustration with teh is real, the hurt for oh-aew is real. but the fear of change and abandonment, and the fear of admitting your own insecurities, is SO coming of age and i love that we get to see teh grappling with what happens when the idealistic vision you had for your life slowly starts to crumble.

also, this episode (and possibly the entirety of part 2) was 100% the writers' and p'meen's love letter to comm arts students/graduates, and even though i am a total outsider to that world, it really touched my heart to see the diversity of experiences and struggles reflected here.

i love that we see how much closer teh has become with jai and khim!! this doesn't translate in the subs, but i thought it was interesting how teh used respectful pronouns with them when he was a first-year and now for the most part uses rude (familiar) pronouns with them as a second-year, even though they're still technically his seniors. i think it goes to show how close they've become since he first joined the drama club.

goy was so fucking CUTE in that scene when she said "oh, lots of boys are peeking at me, i'm shy" i think i'm in love 😭 also the cinematography of that scene!!

this episode does such a great job at making you feel uncomfortable along with the characters. i hated how uncomfortable teh was at the birthday party, and i could feel how out of place he felt there.

when mangpong talks about how easy it is for celebrities to make money and teh is clearly offended by that and speaks up against it (which results in yet another awkward uncomfortable moment), i feel like he's speaking up on behalf of khim who we later realize is basically his idol and the person he identifies the most with. i feel like p'meen and the writing team are really trying to represent the lives of people who go into communication arts, especially those who go in with an interest in performing arts. and for me that scene with mangpong communicates two things: 1) the defensiveness that comes with having your chosen career path misunderstood or reduced into something that's easy money, and 2) how close-knit and protective the drama club is of each other, because teh speaking up in defense of actors to me feels like he's defending this identity they all share as people who are struggling to make it in the industry.

oh-aew is SO sweet. getting a tattoo that resembles your partner's name gives me so much anxiety, but i guess he's 19 and has always been sure of his feelings so it does make sense for him. at first glance teh's reaction really just makes it sound like he's against tattoos, drinking, all that, like he's super old-fashioned, but it's not REALLY about the tattoo and we learn that later when they have their big fight and he blows up with all the nitpicky little things he's noticed about all the ways oh-aew has changed. i thought it was so cute how au basically showed off his tattoo to open the conversation for oh-aew to show teh his tattoo though. we love a supportive friend group!!!

"this tattoo is pretty. thank you." this is teh being as genuine as he can, as someone who is seriously not in touch with his own feelings and can't understand why he's so upset at oh-aew getting a tattoo. because again it's not the tattoo itself that's the problem, but what it represents for teh, which is oh-aew's world slowly expanding to include people and things that are foreign to teh, and he worries that one day that world won't have a place for him anymore.

drunk oh-aew speaking mandarin, and teh taking care of him!!! the only fluff we got all episode and i will cherish it forever and ever, like the aquarium scene from episode one. the fact that teh brought over the stuffed animal, kissed oh-aew on the forehead, and then decided to sleep over on the floor next to him? making him kimchi jjigae? so soft!! our boy has got a lot of issues to work through but he loves oh-aew for sure.

the scene where oh-aew is receiving feedback on his performance from his professor is so... oof. the fact that his classmate got positive feedback for portraying a gay man in a way that isn't stereotypical (read: masculine? i wonder?) and the fact that oh-aew was critiqued for unsuccessfully portraying the tone and mannerisms of a man who doesn't understand gay people? it's a bit subtler than what we hear from the casting director but i swear it's the same shit. and it really doesn't surprise me at all to see oh-aew not believe in himself and his ability to perform because of it.

teh saying "both of us" and being so excited about their casting opportunity!! 😭 and also, khim being such a sweetheart and helping them get this opportunity in the first place!

the contrast with how happy oh-aew looked when the advertising professor told him he had the right answer, compared to how torn down he looked after being critiqued and told he got a C by his acting professor (in front of the whole class!!). which tbh for me is subtle commentary on how much influence professors have on students' self-confidence and whether they believe in their own ability to succeed in their field.

the commentary on sexism and homophobia in the thai entertainment industry!! khim being told she looked too old, not smart enough, not believable, honestly all coded ways of saying she didn't fit in with the beauty standard they were going for. and while khim is saying this we see oh-aew is already getting nervous, because he's already had his confidence shaken by his experiences in class. and then when we get to the scene where the casting director says he's too girly and asks him to act more manly, we see oh-aew's mood shift completely, and honestly it hurts to watch. pp did such an amazing job here because i felt it, like the way oh-aew's eyes change, and then he swallows right after, and how unsettled he sounds trying to deliver the line again after hearing that critique.

oh-aew listening to khim tell teh about how hard it's been for her to break into the industry is so impactful, because you can already tell what he's thinking. is this really worth it? do i want this enough to endure people telling me over and over again i'm not masculine enough for them? is that going to be me in the future, being rejected from hundreds of castings and still not making it?

when teh hugs khim and says "we will get through this together," it's so clear that he identifies with her struggle. teh is someone who has worked his ass off to get to where he is (remember his fight with his mom where she said he lost sleep and was getting sick from all the studying he did?), and he sees himself in khim and her passion and ambition. meanwhile, we see oh-aew really doubting whether this is the right path for him.

i love how teh immediately asked if oh-aew was okay after oh-aew told him about what the casting director said, and how teh reassured him that he liked oh-aew the way he is. it's like, he so clearly cares for oh-aew and loves him so much and sometimes knows how to show it well, and then other times just fucks it up. it's so real??

oh-aew deciding to change majors three months into it is a very oh-aew thing to do, and what i mean by that is, this is a character who is super in touch with himself and his feelings and trusts in himself to make the right decisions. he's not afraid to change his mind (remember when he was testing out his feelings for bas and teh and then turned down bas once he knew?), he's bold and goes for what he wants. and i envy that about his character so much. but it makes me sad to know that the thing that was making him nervous during this scene was the fact that he was worried about how teh would react. like he went through all that questioning and critique himself, to finally discover his answer, only to now have to worry about whether his partner will accept him.

teh, on the other hand, has had his whole life planned out since forever. he feels the need to know and control everything. he has so much fear and insecurity. and he is stubborn and doesn't believe in giving up, which he believes is what oh-aew is doing. and on top of that, he sees this as another way in which he is losing oh-aew. one more thing oh-aew has in common with his friend group that doesn't include him. one more way that he's becoming a smaller part of oh-aew's world. oh-aew looked so small in the bathtub scene and i just wanted to hold him 😔

the 8 month time skip is a little jarring because of all the things we don't get to see, but i guess it makes sense if teh has been bottling up his insecurities about their relationship that it would all blow up in everyone's face in the way that it did at the dinner scene.

it was interesting to me how teh hesitated when oh-aew texted that he would join them for dinner, like teh didn't want oh-aew to come along with his drama club. and then once oh-aew arrives at the restaurant, we see that teh isn't totally happy either. it's like as much as teh feels like an outsider in oh-aew's world, he seems to also see oh-aew as an outsider in his own world too. and when top says he wanted to get into comm arts at anantasart but he didn't get in, we see teh's expression and it's like, a reminder that he gave up that spot for oh-aew, that teh didn't pass the admissions exam either, and that oh-aew who did pass has now "given up" on it (in teh's eyes) to pursue another major. it's like teh also feels betrayed on behalf of all the performing arts kids who are struggling to make their passion into a career.

i feel like i sort of get why teh said all that shit about oh-aew at the dinner table now. i'm not excusing it at all, that was super shitty of him. but i wonder if it's like, this is a thing they deal with in the performing arts, people giving up because it's so hard to make it in the industry. and you watch your friends leave one by one, and it keeps causing more and more doubt in yourself about whether you can make it. and now that teh sees oh-aew as someone who's given up, he doesn't want that energy at the dinner table with his drama friends, like he wants to protect them from that and keep up with this "we can get through this together" mentality that he keeps saying. so it's easier for him to try to dismiss it as oh-aew's personality flaw, rather than a legitimate change in career path, because he's worried about how it might affect his own friends in the drama club. and we see how protective teh is of khim, when he says "what the fuck did you just say?" like he really shares an identity with his drama club and it's clear he thinks oh-aew doesn't understand it or belong there.

needless to say, i was extremely stressed that entire dinner scene which i think means the writers, p'meen, and the actors did an excellent job.

their fight scene was really amazingly done and i am just stunned by teh's response when oh-aew asks him "what if this is who i really am, would you not like me anymore?" and teh thinks about it for a bit, and says "maybe." that's him being genuine, he's not trying to hurt oh-aew in saying that, and we can see him internally asking himself that question. but he doesn't know the answer, because he can't even be honest with himself about why he's upset at oh-aew. so he says the first thing he thinks which is an honest "maybe," and then he immediately regrets his words, and at some point he's going to have to learn that he can't just say the first thing that comes to mind, when other people's feelings are at stake. also, the fucking piano that plays? the violin? goddamn.

khim's character is really here to teach teh, and all of us, some life lessons. she is so real. her struggles are so real. life is fucking hard, and it's not fair, and no matter how hard you work or try you can't have it all. "the conditions for our lives are not the same" holy shit yes. she wants to take care of her family and her dog, she can't just think of herself. i feel like teh, who comes from a relatively modest background but has always had hoon as a father figure to support his mom, probably doesn't feel that same burden.

teh being frustrated and going to the bridge was beautiful. the crying hug scene at the dorm was so beautiful.

i love that in the end, teh finally owns up to his own insecurities and apologizes and admits he was wrong. of course, this was after oh-aew reached out to him first. i think it's totally realistic that we see his growth happening kind of slowly, but before the series ends he's going to need to be the first one to reach out, because oh-aew can't hold all of that on his own.

the last score when they hug under the moonlight, i love it!!

[themarvellouswriter]

MOB!SEBASTIAN x TALL!READER

PART ONE OF THE MASTERPIECE SERIES 

Warnings: Nothing that I can think of to be honest

Word Count: 1.8k

Genres: Mob!AU (Is this a genre?), mild fluff, slight slow-burn, some angst (or maybe a lot of angst)

Notes: Its my first official fic on Tumblr you guys, wish me luck! And happy reading! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“But Y/N, you promised!” “I’m sure you must have hallucinated my response. Why would I willingly promise to wear five inch heels to your bachelorette party?!” “Cause you’ve got killer legs and you always look good in heels,” pouted your best friend, Sofia, from where she was lounging on the sofa of your apartment. “I am perfectly fine wearing my very comfortable two inch ones.” “You always wear them! For me? Your only best friend, who’s getting married in a week?” You looked at Sofia’s puppy eyes and sighed. “Fine, I’ll wear them. But no dancing. I’m already a foot taller than everyone else, no need to add my ridiculous and non existent dancing skills to the mix.” “Deal!” She pressed an excited kiss to your cheek as she stood up and held up a brand new shoe box. “For my bestest and loyalest friend in the whole wide world!” Taking it from her you opened it slowly to reveal said pair of five inch heels. You had to admit, they were gorgeous. Delicate red laced straps and closed toes, just like how you liked them. You hid a smile. Sofia grinned. “I know you love them,” came her sing song voice from next to you. “Fine. Yes. Yes, I do love them.” “Lovely. Try them on!” You tried them on and stood up. Sofia squealed. “You look amazing!” You looked down at your feet and then met Sofia’s glowing smile with one of your own. “Yes, I do!” She pulled you into a tight hug, her head now barely reaching your shoulders.

Suddenly an alarm went off. “Oh, we’ll be late!” “No, you’ll be late. To your own party.” “Which you organized!” “Touché.” Sofia practically skipped into your bathroom to change her clothes. A few minutes later she stepped out wearing a sparkly champagne coloured dress with her six inch golden pumps. “Ta-da,” she said striking a pose.  “Very nice. Very Charlie’s Angels of you,” you complimented her, slowly clapping. She took a deep bow. “Thank you, thank you.” You went inside the bathroom and changed out of your clothes into a similar shimmery knee length red dress. You didn’t really like short dresses because the shorter the dress the more uncomfortable you felt. You looked at yourself in the mirror and gave a slight twirl. ‘Nice’. You walked to find the rest of the party crowding your apartment. All seven of members of your party had dressed to the nines in glitter and were wearing the colors of the rainbow. Sofia liked to keep things fairly small but wild. And for her you would do anything. When everyone finished putting the final touches to their outfits, you called your hired limo for the night and set off for the craziest night of your life.

After spending the entire evening trying to keep the girls mostly sober but slightly tipsy and having fun, you were tired. As much as you were used to wearing heels and towering over people, wearing five inch ones and keeping six giggly girls on their feet was not so much fun. You felt like mother trying to keep her screaming children from screaming louder. At the last stop for the party, you headed to a quiet and mostly empty pub so that they could sober up and not have hangovers the next day. There was another small and quiet party in the corner who appeared to having a meeting of some sort. Not paying much attention to them, you left the girls in a booth in the corner, then headed to the counter to order some light snacks and water bottles. As you waited, you idly stared at the clock behind the bar. 23:47.

Most of the girls were half asleep and the others, mainly Sofia, were playing with the napkins on their table. You felt someone approach you from behind. You stiffened. “Hey,” came a low, slightly gruff voice. You turned around to meet a pair of blue grey eyes. “May I help you?” You asked politely. “Yeah, I’m Sebastian and my friends over there forced me to ask you for your number.” “And?” “And I think you’re really pretty and I would really like your number.” At that moment your order arrived. You gave the man a quick once over. He was dressed extremely well in an expensive looking navy coloured suit and his hair were kind of long and slicked back. He had a soft smile on his face which gave him a sort of puppy look and his eyes were really nice. He had day old stubble which made him look older and very nice looking, not to mention kissable, lips. Your mouth twitched. “If I see you again, then I will. Because right now, my girls need me.” You tilted your head in Sofia’s direction and stood up and you were so much taller than him. He, Sebastian, wasn’t short by any means but right now you practically towered over him. ‘Darn it’. You walked away, face flush with embarrassment, towards your table. You kept your head down the entire meal and when the limo came to drop everyone off at their place, you were the first one in.

You liked being tall. Being tall was nice. Nothing was ever too much out of reach and although you never could have fun on the monkey bars, you liked it. But sometimes being so tall made you want to scream. Why was it that you were so much taller than everyone you were interested in? And not to mention the constant jabs from everyone who looked at you funny for wearing heels. Its not like you needed them, but you wanted them instead. You liked being tall but you often wished that you were small enough to be cuddled with and picked up and swung around in a lover’s arms. And ever so often you’d feel the need for being treated like a small and fragile human instead of a tall and imposing one.

You stayed mostly quiet the entire way under the guise of being exhausted when they girls looked at you questioningly. You smiled and reassured them that you were fine. But your mind kept going back to the ridiculously good looking guy who’d asked for your number and you’d turned him down. On retrospection, maybe he was more good looking now that you were miles away. You shrugged off thoughts about him as you finally got down and helped Sofia out. You paid and thanked the driver for his services and led her in. Sofia immediately collapsed on you bed. “That was the best bachelorette party ever. I had so much fun and by the looks of your night, you had fun too!” You laughed. “It was nothing. I’m glad you had fun.” “What about tall and cute and handsome at the pub? He seemed into you.” “Oh Sofia. You know me. I have extremely high standards. Most people don’t even come close to them,” you deflected easily, knowing that Sofia would never let it go if you told her that you had chosen her over some hot guy.

You changed into your pyjamas and then coerced Sofia into hers. She was staying with you for the night since it was nearly one in the morning. After what seemed like hours of her pouting and making faces and cries of ‘I’m too hyped to sleep! I’m getting married’, you finally managed to get her in bed. After tucking her in, you lounged in your balcony, propping your feet up on the railing and gazing up at the sky. You must’ve dozed off for a while because the next thing you know there were a couple of thuds coming in from the alleyway between the buildings opposite to yours. Several flashes of light followed by a short scream which was abruptly cut off.  Your curiosity got the better of you and you jumped to your feet, grabbed your phone and headed out to investigate.

Using the torch on your phone, you slowly walked towards it. Quietly you made your way inside. Two people were beating up your nice neighbour Veronica Martin, who always gave you a cupcake from her little bakery around the corner. Furious, you stepped into the light and let out an indignant yell, “Will you two jerks stop hitting her?! She’s done nothing wrong.” They gave you the once over and snorted. “This is none of your business, girlie. Run along now.” “Excuse me? If you don’t stop right this second, I’m going to call the police.” The shorter of the two stepped towards you threateningly. “Don’t make us do something you won’t like.” Veronica coughed from her place on the floor. “Leave me, its okay Y/N. I deserve this.”

You clenched your phone tighter and said, “Nobody deserves to get beaten up in the middle of the night.” “Get lost, punk. Or you’re next.” “Try me, egghead. I ain’t playing around.” “Alright, you asked for it.” The shorter one pulled out a blade and moved towards you. “Two years of college mixed martial arts, don’t fail me now,” you muttered to yourself as you ducked just as he swung his knife at you. Taking a step back, you kicked him the stomach and as he keeled over in pain, you snatched the knife from his limp fingers. “You wanna try this again, ugly?” You taunted the other one. You moved closer to Veronica’s prone form and held the blade threateningly. The other held his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, we’ll go now.” He made his way slowly to where his partner was groaning in pain. “Wait, before you go.” “Huh, wha-” And you punched him the face. “That was for hurting Veronica. Now scram.” The taller looked at you, his expression a mixture of offence and surprise as he gingerly touched his cheek. After making sure that they weren’t gonna come out and surprise you, you bent over Veronica and examined her. “Oh, V, you’re hurt so bad.” Her eyes fluttered as she looked up at you. “I’m calling the hospital.” As soon as they picked up, you gave instructions on where you both were. You cradled Veronica’s head and spoke soothingly. Her eyes widened suddenly, “Y/N watch out-” Something heavy hits you on the back of your head and the next thing you know is there is a dull throbbing at the base of your skull and then darkness.

[darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts]

Princess Lessons

Thank you to the wonderful @mikamiw who draws some adorable and beautiful artwork. (Mikamiw Commission Price list).  Here is a little short that goes with this wonderful little drawing of the OC for Aerion Kitsune and Mitsuhide. Hope you enjoy it ^^. 

Warning: A little strong language, Two Kitsunes, Hideyoshi being strict... fluff.

Masterlist 

---

Princess lessons

Ever since she arrived in the past, she had been dogged night and day by a certain someone who was determined that she should be a “Perfect young lady.” Nobunaga might have given her the title of Oda Princess but honestly, it was never something that interested her one tiny bit. Even 500 years in the future she was not what anyone would have called hung up on trying to be really feminine. She was a tomboy. That was what made her happiest, not all this fussing dressing up and playing with hair and make-up.

Aerion sat in her room uncomfortably as Hideyoshi dipped the comb into a bowl of hot water and tugged her pale hair back into god only knew what style he deemed to be suitable for a lady. It hurt and each time she gave a small grimace at the stylist she was reprimanded and told: “Princesses don’t frown and pull faces.” She didn’t think Hideyoshi was a bad guy. Actually, after he decided she wasn’t a threat he was just like an overbearing parent. It took time but after all that tugging, twisting, and being poked Aerion looked into the mirror and sighed at the reflection of someone she didn’t recognise.

“Kill me.” She muttered as looked between the happy expression of Hideyoshi and herself in the mirror.

It was pretty, it was cute, it was girly it was… so not her. How was it so difficult to get people to understand she hated to play dress up? She hated pink with a passion and dresses and skirts were… well, they never made it into her shopping cart let alone her wardrobe in the future. But here that freedom was gone. Knowing that and then looking at her own reflection in the mirror made her feel as though the bottom had fallen out of her stomach.

“There now. Doesn’t that feel better?” Hideyoshi smiled happily, she was picture perfect. The mud had been scrubbed from her skin, her hair was detangled and not just tied back into a single ponytail at the lower side of her neck. He had also managed to find the cutest fabric in town and commissioned a kimono that was a cream to pink colouration. Aerion looked every bit the Princess he thought she should.

“You like this so much you wear it.” Aerion huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Now, now you’ll get used to it. I’ll go and fetch the tea set and we can have a lesson so you can prepare it later for Lord Nobunaga.” Hideyoshi patted her head before exiting the room. He really did love to treat her like a child. That was something else that was irritating her today.

After she was sure of his departure Aerion moved from her floor cushion and slid the door to her room open slightly. Poking her head out just enough to check the coast was clear before making a dash for the main entrance. If she could get there without being stopped, she could get to the training hall and find a change of clothes.

---

“Made it!” Aerion cried out in celebration. A pair of arms wrapped around her from behind which made her freeze on the spot. “Eep!”

“It seems I caught a rather interesting little creature.”

She didn’t have to turn around to know who that voice and arms belonged too. Instead, she relaxed and then easily slipped his grasp turning to look him in the eye.

“Mitsuhide. You scared me.” She faked being upset. A wide grin on her face at the sight of her favourite partner in crime.

“Apologies my dear. I actually didn’t realise it was you at first.”

“Oh? In the habit of randomly grabbing girls in the street, are you?” Aerion met his tease with one of her own. Going toe to toe with Azuchi’s resident Kitsune was not something easy to do or maintain but she seemed to give as good as she got from day one. It was something that earned his respect and curiosity.

“Not at all. That is a pursuit best left to others. I just saw a rare sight and couldn’t help myself.”

“You probably say that to all the girls.” Aerion muttered as she began looking through some baskets set aside in the entryway of the training hall. They were full of soldier’s clothes that needed fixing.

“Believe what you will.” Mitsuhide shrugged and moved closer to her side as she bent over the side of a basket. He felt sure she would topple in head first if she wasn’t careful. “What are you doing out here Princess? And dressed…. Like that?” He looked over the outfit with interest. It was a polar opposite of her usual simpler style of clothing. It didn’t look bad it just looked a little unusual on her.

“You can blame Hideyoshi and his bloody Princess lessons for all this. It was not my choice.” Aerion’s explanation along with her flapping her arms out at her sides to make a show of the fabric covering her caused Mitsuhide to let out a laugh.

“Indeed, you are much more suited to your usual carefree self.”

“Well carefree me is looking for a change of attire. That is what I am doing here.” Aerion gave up on her current basket and moved to another.

“What happened to the other clothes you had in your room?” Mitsuhide was aware of her sewing her own clothes. Her creations had gained a lot of recognition from the castle seamstresses.

“Guess.”

“Hideyoshi appears to be very thorough.” Mitsuhide shook his head.

“Painfully.” Aerion shifted some fabric that was pretty much only fit as rags and then plunged her hand deep down into the pile. “Ooo this could work!”

“You intend to wear castoffs?” Mitsuhide inclined his head. He had seen her wearing some very strange attire when she first arrived. Something she called a hoodie and jeans.

He had even witnessed the times when Hideyoshi had been returning to the castle with the Princess tossed over his shoulder cursing him for spoiling her fun. Her simple kimono was a little dirty on its hem and her sleeves tied back revealing small scrapes to her arms from her adventures outside. She was not what you could call predictable by ordinary standards and that always made for diverting viewing.

“Well I don’t have the ability to find replacements right now and this kimono is hellish to move in.” Aerion lifted her hem giving Mitsuhide enough of a view underneath to also realise she had left the castle without any sandals; her socks were filthy.

“You cannot wear that my dear.” He gently placed his hand on hers and took the outfit for her grasp returning it to the basket from whence it came. He didn’t wish to sound in any way similar to the castle’s mother hen but be also didn’t wish her to wear something that ruined.

“Unless you can offer an alternative Mitsuhide we are at an impasse and I shall continue to do as I originally planned.” Aerion’s flash of familiar indignation made him chuckle in amusement.

“You usually do my dear it’s part of what makes you so charming.” Mitsuhide took her hand again in his and laced his fingers with hers. “I have some cleaned and mended Hakama back at my residence.”

“You want to take me to your place?” Her eyebrow rose. She hadn’t flinched at his touch like everyone else did.

“Yes.”

“Without buying me dinner or so much as offer me a drink? How bold of you.” Her showy act of playing a helpless damsel deepened his smirk.

“You really are the most entertaining woman. But a word of warning my dear.” He leaned in as if to share a secret in her ear. “Teasing so naturally as you do might land you with more than you can handle in return.”

“I could offer you the same warning.” She tossed back her reply without so much as a flinch. He liked that.

“Shall we go, my dear? Of course, you could hang around here some more and risk capture from Hideyoshi and his Prefect Princess lessons.” He gave a light tug on her hand and was rewarded with her coming to heel at his side walking happily next to him. Mitsuhide found himself wondering how many would do such a thing with someone like him?

---

Mitsuhide was as good as his word and then some. Not only had he located some of his clothes for her but he had also called one of the maids to bring a sewing kit so Aerion could put some stitches in place to make it more her size. After changing behind the screen and using the bowl of fresh water provided, she managed to remove the makeup from her face. Aerion was finally feeling a whole lot more like herself.

“What do you think?” Aerion asked after emerging from the changing screen, spinning on the spot like a child.

“I think it suits you.” Mitsuhide was sitting near his writing desk, busying himself with papers so as to not be too distracted by the slightly illuminated shadow performance he could see faintly playing out behind the screen in the room.

The couple were close and had been described in the castle gossip rumour mill as an item but he had not actually asked her to be his yet. They were happy together without a definition in the nature of their relationship. But he knew in his heart there was not a safe place in Heaven or Hell for someone to hide from him should they hurt her.

“Really?”

“Yes… you looked like a common palace girl before. Now? Well, you more like yourself.” Mitsuhide put down the papers in his hand giving his full attention to the slip of a girl standing in his room.

“You’re weird Mitsuhide.” Aerion giggled at his supportiveness.

“So I have been told. Now come here and I’ll correct your hair for you.” Mitsuhide patted the space in front of him on the floor. Aerion didn’t skip a beat in placing herself as she was told with her back to him. Slowly one by one Mitsuhide removed the ornate pins from her hair. Silently chastising Hideyoshi for attempting to tame something so naturally wild and beautiful.

The long blonde hair was so pale as it slipped through his fingers he sometimes questioned if it was transparent. It was ice white, it was a little like his own except for the traces of purple and blue that played out on its tips.

“Mmm… you’re kinda good at this.” Aerion murmured as the feeling of him teasing her hair back to normal relaxed her.

“I am only as good as the materials provided my dear. And you really do have beautiful hair.” Mitsuhide wasn’t lying there was no need. When she first arrived, she said that the colours would fade eventually and then she would be left with just a single boring shade. To him, her hair of trapped and spun moonlight was anything but boring, and he smiled as she leaned back a little into his touch.

“Do I?”

“Yes, it's soft as silk and the colour of moonlight. I always thought it to be a breath-taking irregularity.” Mitsuhide softly reassured her as he pulled out the last pin and the rest of her hair tumbled onto his hand.

“Guess that’s a fancy way of calling it weird. But I’ll take the compliment, thank you.” Aerion said with a smile.

– Knock, Knock –

“I think you might have a need to slip into here little one.” Mitsuhide lowered his voice and indicated the small room off of his study.

“Your bedroom? Why would you?” Aerion questioned, imagining that the visitor was probably just a maid come to see if anything else was required

“Mitsuhide! I need to talk to you.”

“Oh god!” Her blue eyes snapped open and the tension she had started to lose was creeping back. He was here, he found her.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about him I’ll see him on his way.” Mitsuhide didn’t wait to see if she was going to protest and just softly bundled her into his room and slid the screen from the corner over the gap to mask it from view before answering the door.

“Hideyoshi. What do I owe the pleasure?”

“What took you so long to answer the door?” Hideyoshi instantly queried.

“I was resting. I had rather a long night in the dungeons and was composing myself.” Mitsuhide gave his trademark smile as he replied with a simple enough excuse. He made a show to adjust his kimono that looked a little crumpled. “But you didn’t answer my question. Why are you here?”

“The Princess has run away.” Hideyoshi blurted out as he walked further into the room. He was twitching and clearly anxious.

“Again? My, my. You really do have a talent for causing our sweet girl to wish to disappear.” Mitsuhide noticed the hairpins near his desk and moved towards them quickly covering them with some missives so that Hideyoshi didn’t notice them

“I did nothing I was just helping her…” Hideyoshi looked out of the window worried and lost in thought.

“Helping her? To do what pray tell? To imitate every other palace courtesan? She is not a china doll for you to play dress up with.” Mitsuhide gave a small biting retort to Hideyoshi and his overbearing ideas for the girl. He had watched and been amused but he had also become a little pissed off at the repeated attempt to change her.

“You seem to be very passionate about this.” Hideyoshi looked very curiously at Mitsuhide and his seemingly uncharacteristic outburst. He had come across the castle gossip as well but he knew it to be nothing but bored musings. However, there were times like this that even he had to wonder if the rumours were true.

“Of course, I am. Since she arrived you systematically seemed to suck all the joy out of that poor girl. She was not born to this life why force it? What’s more, I still fail to see what her running off has to do with me.” Mitsuhide averted that curious prying stare by deflecting the original question back at Hideyoshi.  

“You observed her the most. I wanted to know if you had any ideas as to where she would have gone.” Hideyoshi was speaking honestly and Mitsuhide cursed in his mind how observant the other warlord could be at times. He had been watching from a distance mostly out of curiosity but then out of concern that Aerion might get hurt. She could be surprisingly reckless.

“You could try the woods, she may be up a tree.”

“Up a tree!?” Hideyoshi looked worried. The thought she would be in the woods where the potential for meeting robbers and bandits was bad enough but climbing trees?

“Yes… Oh! unless she decided to go to the lake and strip off to take a swim.” Mitsuhide kept his voice as controlled as possible whilst relishing the shocked expressions Hideyoshi was having at his suggestions.

“WHAT!?” The colour drained from Hideyoshi as he nearly flew out of the room, ignoring his own rules on running in the hall.

“Be sure to check the bank thoroughly for her. She is such a delicate thing she might have drifted in the current.” Mitsuhide shouted after him before closing the main door again chuckling.

“You are terrible.” Aerion’s voice came from by his side. She was out of his bedchamber but contrary to her words there was a broad grin etched on her face that mirrored his own.

“Takes a Kitsune to know one, my dear. I told you I would send him on his way.”

“Yes, well now when I do see him, he’s going to give me twenty million questions as to where I was.” Aerion heaved a deep sigh and sunk to the cushion on the floor once more.

“Don’t worry by the time that happens I’m sure we can come up with some story as to what you were doing that will keep him happy.” Mitsuhide put his hand on her head softly to reassure her. “Tea?”

“Yes please.” He whisked up his usual brew and handed Aerion her cup. She took it, enjoying the scent a little before sipping. “Mm… you make the best tea.”

“You flatter me.” Mitsuhide smiled into his cup at her compliment.

“Mitsuhide?”

“Mhm?”

“Thank you.” Aerion’s face had a deadly serious expression on it as she thanked him. He couldn’t let that go without a small tease on his part. Allow me at least this.

“Anytime my dear. I am at your service” He leant in and kissed her on her temple savouring the wide-eyed expression that followed as she registered his kiss.

---

This was a commissioned piece please do not take and repost anywhere without permission. Artist rights go to @mikamiw , OC creation is mine (AK)

[sporadic-writer]

The bold and beautiful

Bucky x Reader, Sam x Reader(sorta)

Warnings - some light swearing, slight angst, mainly fluff and such, it's meant to be sweet I promise

Summary - you feel broken and shot down, but your true man picks up the pieces (wow that sounds cheesy lol sorry 😅)

----------------------

Your bold. You say what you want and don't filter yourself often. People made you feel like shit in the past, but being with the Avengers now helped you be stronger and more confident. Plus, you were a mutant, which made you very cool in their eyes. Your telekinetic and telepathic powers were something you were born with, not developed like Wanda's. You are a unique individual in their eyes, but you know you are too.

You are close with everyone, even the non-residents like Clint and Scott. They appreciate your style, sarcasm, and toughness. Training is always interesting, and you work in the bio labs with Bruce and Tony, even though is your own research and more animal-based. But no one had any serious or harsh complaints about you, or so you thought.

Sam Wilson was just as cheeky as you. He kept up with your humor and wit while still keeping you on your toes. You could say you developed a crush on him. He was handsom, kind, and made you laugh. Aside from Bucky and the scientists, he was the only guy you were really close with. The girls and you are classic best friends. You tell each other everything and always do your cliche girly activities together. But Sam.. Sam had a bit more of your attention. You went out of your way to hang out with him. Or you found subtle ways to flirt harmlessly and gain his attention.

"You gonna grow a pair and tell him today?" Wanda asks while painting her toes. She smirks at Nat while you roll your eyes.

With a chuckle you respond, "Actually yeah. I have been prepping the right words in my head for a while now and I'm going to ask if he wants to go get drinks Friday night."

Nat and Wanda look at you increduously. "Hold up. I was teasing you. You're really asking him out?" You nod and give an mhmm back to her.

"Haha damn girl! Look at you go. When is the big moment happening?" Natasha asked with curiosity.

"Uhh probs after dinner tonight, before we all end up together in the media room." The nervous bubbles in your body were pushed down. You were young, but not a child. If you liked the guy, you finally need to do something about it.

"Good timing. I'll make sure he is in the kitchen when you're cleaning up."

"Wanda you don't need to do that." She said nonsense and it will make your gesture easier. You shrugged and summonded your phone to your hand from the side table a few feet away.

"Well I just noticed I have to be in the lab in 5 minutes. A nerds job is never done. I will update you after I ask him!" You walk out of the room towards the elevator, you passed Bucky and Tony, talking about his arm. Both smile and say hi to you while Tony jokes about not paying you to be late for work. You tell him to get the stick out of his ass and keep walking as the men laugh.

You get to the lab's floor, passing one of the training rooms on the way. You hear Sam with Steve and Peter all chatting lightly and normally. Usually, you don't listen in on conversations, but some words caught your interest.

"Yeah she said yes so I'm thinking we will go get dinner or something." Sam said and you suddenly felt small. Without realizing it you felt a hit of his thoughts in your own mind. He was geniunly excited.

You hear Steve say a supportive response. Something along the lines of how exciting it is. He made a joke about pulling the 'Avengers card' to get her. But Peter mentioning you kept your chuckle away and feet in place.

"I thought you and Y/N were a thing?" You could hear the confusion in his voice. And your heart raced awaiting the reply.

"What? Nah kid. She and I are like best friends. We are almost the same person. It'd be weird. Plus lately she's been kinda clingly. I see her all the time when she isn't in the lab. I don't really mind it, because it's Y/N, but going out with this chick will give me a nice reprieve." You could hear in his voice that he was not meaning any hatred towards you, but it still stung. You never thought you were being clingly? You did not even think you were hanging with him more than usual. However, you sulked away quickly before accidentally popping into the men's minds or making your presence known in any other fashion. You just went to the lab to play music, do your work, and distract yourself from the outside world.

Dinner rolled around eventually and you tried to act normal, but it was hard. The girls and Bucky noticed you were quieter than usual. You were in your own head and distracted from the people around you. Nat and Wanda assumed it was you prepping for the moment you ask Sam out. However, they werr really confused when you never came back to the media room. Sam and Bucky walked out and the girls asked where you were.

"Um I don't know. She cleaned up while we were getting beers then headed towards the elevator." Sam said to them. They asked if you said anything and said no and added you seemed slightly quieter.

Wanda sighed and looked to the men. "Well did you say something to upset her?"

Bucky shook his head and repsonded, "No we were just talking about Sam's date Friday." He shrugged and watched the two ladies' faces change subtly while dismissing the men and Sam walked off. But Bucky trailed behind.

"What's going on?" He knew they knew something.

They looked at each other before explaining to him that you were going to ask him out. He ignored the pang of jealousy and focused on the matter at hand.

"But that doesn't explain why she barely spoke tonight. She hardly even looked at him tonight. She seemed reserved." Bucky knew something else was at play here. It took a lot to shut you up like this.

"I might know about that" Steve's voice came from the doorway. "He said he felt she was being clingy. It wasn't said with distain or any dislike of Y/N, but she must have heard somehow."

"So now she's hurt and questioning herself... I am going to beat him I swear!" Bucky clenched his fist. While Nat told him to calm down.

"Just go find her. We will deal with Sam when that time comes." Nat spoke to him in a serious tone. He just moved Steve out of the way to find you.

Walking down the hall to your room he groaned when he found it empty. After asking F.R.I.D.A.Y where you were, he headed to the gym.

You had music playing and your face was red from running on the treadmill. Bucky walked up, noting how your expression was not as bright as it usually was. As he approached, you took notice of him and slowed down. Your ringed hand flicked and he heard the stereo click off. You kept walking but looked at him and asked what was going on. He noticed that you were trying very hard to sound normal, but it didn't fool him.

"I know what happened with Sam. Don't fight me on it, the girls told me what happened." His tone was soft but strong and you knew to just roll with it.

"So why are you here? I just want to be alone right now." You looked defeated. You just wanted to be alone in self pity for a while until you got over all this nonsense.

The man look at you and shook his head. "Do not break and change your view on yourself just because Sam his a moron. Not having you talk and joke at dinner, you not being you? It really sucked seeing that. Nothing should do that. Sam's isn't good enough to have you like that anyway." He mumbled the last part a bit, but you caught it in the end.

Rolling your eyes you spoke back to him. "And you are? Bucky I just need to give everyone a break from me. I can be a lot, I get it. It's fine! Please just let me sulk in pea-."

Him pulling you in for a kiss shut you up easily. You put your hands on his chest and shoulder and kissed back. He hummed lightly at your reciprocation and pulled you close. In your heart and gut, flutters and sparks went mad. Your head spun a bit from running and these pleasant feelings suddenly surfacing.

As he pulled away he saw your small but happily shocked expression. His voice was soft as he spoke.

"You are too bold and beautiful to not let everyone see it. I always got jealous Sam was the one guy you hung out with most, but I have also always really really liked you and let you be happy. I don't mean to make a move right after all that happened, but I needed you to know that one person for sure appreciates who you are." Your hands were still on him, and you felt those broken bits in your chest come back together. With bright eyes you looked up at him and pecked his lips again quickly.

"Well then. Since your ass took so long to tell me you liked me, you pay for drinks Friday night." He chuckled and his hands around you squeezed you a bit in a playful manner. "But now I wanna go sit in the back of the media room with you. The others can slowly realize what is going on all on their own."

He smiled at you, "That works for me darlin. I kinda want to show Sam what he's missing."

"Play nice!" Your tone was light, knowing he wouldn't be rude. You still wanted to have some fun though. "Buut... I never said we couldn't make out or fool around a tad while in the back of the room." As you grabbed his hand you winked at him.

"Babe that sounds perfect." He held the door open for you and lightly smacked your butt as you walked out. You geniunly laughing in response made him know for sure you were a gem never to be let go of.

----------------------

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[omg-foreverfilledwithweird-posts]

Gotta Secret, Can You Keep It? (Peter Parker X Reader)

Summary: A few weeks have passed since your almost kiss with Peter Parker, and it’s all the two of you can think about and all the Avengers tease you about. Tonight, you are visited by an injured Spider-Man in need of your help, which you gladly give to him with no hesitation, and you’re surprised to feel a spark between the two of you that confuses your heart even more. The next night you make a few discoveries and uncover a secret. But when you confront the person after an Avengers pool party, what will happen next?

Author’s Note: Okay, okay, I’ve been waiting to write this part for awhile and I’m so EXCITED for you to read it, I had so much fun writing it. Just trying to cure my IW depression, you all get it. P.S I LOVE TOM’S HAIR IN INFINITY WAR LIKE OMG So as always, enjoy!! AND THE LYRIC AS THE TITLE IS SECRET BY THE PIERCES I’M ALSO SORRY IT’S SO LONG BUT READ IT IT’S WORTH IT!! AND WHEN YOU SEE THIS (*) IMAGINE THIS:

If you guys like it, let me know and I may do another part... ;)

Warnings: So much fluff, SO MUCH, a bit of angst and there’s some blood, alcohol, Tony being a dad AGAIN, Wanda being a supportive, amazing, and helpful big sister, and... DUN DUN DUN!!!!!............. heavy makeout ;)

FC: Elle Fanning

“An Avengers pool party? Tomorrow night?” you repeat, leaning your back against the front of the couch, Wanda gently pulling your long hair back into a braid, being sure not to tug too roughly because she knows your tender-headed.

“You know Tony, (y/n), he’s always finding an excuse to through a party, no matter the occasion,” she says. “When you have as much money as he does...”

“You put it into a savings account, gain interest, and invest in successful stocks and companies. That way you stay rich,” Tony appears in the room, taking one of your chips from the bowl on the table in front of you two, making you chuckle. “Having a wealthy family works too.”

“And throwing extravagant parties every chance you get is somehow apart of that?” Wanda looks up at Tony who narrows his eyes at her, chomping down on his potato chip.

“You can’t truly call yourself a Stark if you don’t, wicked witch of the west,” he cocks an eyebrow, walking out of the room and Wanda scoffs at the nickname while you bite back a laugh.

“I think I like that nickname...” you say quietly, smirking to yourself. 

“You wouldn’t dare,” she looks over you, her long, deep red hair falling over your face, you smile and blow it out of the way.

“I’ll get you, my pretty, and you’re little dog, too,” you quote with a laugh and she tugs hard on your hair, purposefully, as she finishes it off. You yell ‘ow’ and whip your head around to glare at her.

“Watch that big mouth, (y/n), I have all the power here,” she smiles smugly, tying off your hair in a small, blue ribbon.

“You wish,” you snort, pulling your hair over your shoulder and playing with the pretty ribbon, admiring the plait in your hair. “But my hair does look nice.”

“It does, so maybe you should start being nice to your big sister then, hm?” she raises an eyebrows to you when you turn around to look at her, grinning at each other. “It’s no wonder why Peter Parker likes my pretty little sister.”

You roll your eyes, turning away and blushing hard, “He does... he does not. Peter...” you shake your head.  “No, he doesn’t.”

“You know... that American movie with that woman, who was it... Alicia Silverstone and that.. uh, Paul Rudd with the parties and makeovers?” she asks you, twirling a strand of your hair that’s fallen out of the braid around her slender finger.

“Clueless?”

“Yes! That’s you!” she smiles.

You laugh flatly, “Very funny.”

“It is funny,” she agrees, not hinting at the sarcasm in your voice and nodding her head, unable to keep herself from laughing.

“What’s funny?” Natasha asks, sitting down on the couch on Wanda’s right, while you lay down on the floor, looking up at both of them with your limps splayed out, making carpet angels.

“How much Peter likes (y/n)...” Wanda smirks.

Natasha nods in agreement, lightly kicking your side, “I could cut that tension with a knife, girlie. Please tell me you notice it too.”

“Oh, you mean how much Peter likes (y/n)? That boy is smitten...” Clint walks in the room, chuckling to himself, pizza in hand. Where the hell did he get pizza?

At this point you’re as bright red as a ripe tomato, blushing every shade of scarlet, wishing the ground would split open and swallow you whole. 

“Jesus Christ, you guys,” you hold your burning face in your hands, laughing but it comes out a lot more nervous and shaky than you intended.

Natasha leans over the couch and peels your hands away from your face, looking you in the eye, raising both of her perfectly arched brows, saying very sincerely, “(Y/N)... I am telling you this as your friend... that Peter Benjamin Parker has got it bad for you, (y/n) (y/m/n) Maximoff.”

“You just said my middle name,” you point out.

She nods, “I did.”

You groan, “That must mean you’re being serious.”

“Damn straight.”

“But he can’t like... me?” you look up at your sister and Natasha. “Can he?”

“Didn’t you two almost kiss a few weeks ago?” Wanda leans forward, chin resting in her hands, smirking.

“Oh my God,” Natasha leans back into the couch, gaping at you. “You two almost kissed and you’re still questioning whether or not this boy likes you?”

“I mean...” you look down at your fiddling hands, intertwining your fingers together and smiling sheepishly up at her. “Purely hypothetical... if I said yes to that... what would you say?”

“I wouldn’t say anything, I’d hit you upside the head,” Natasha looks at you.

Wanda mouths a quick and unnoticeable ‘RUN’ to you, hiking her thumb in the direction to your room. 

~~~

TAP, TAP, TAP!

You shoot up from your bed at the sound, out of breath and startled from the sudden noise. You look around your room and see no one else but the one and only, Spider-Man, knocking on your window. The sight is so shocking you have to blink rapidly and pinch yourself hard in the arm to make sure you’re not still dreaming and truly awake.

When you definitely feel the pinch, and wince slightly, you run over to pull the window up.

“Spider-Man,” your voice is hoarse, thick with sleep and eyes half-lidded, a lazy smile on your lips from seeing your old friend. “What are you doing here?” you yawn.

“I’m... I’m really sorry to wake you, (y/n),” he says, voice strained and he’s clutching his side, a pained expression you can see even through his mask. “And I know it’s late, but I could really use your help with something.”

Before you can think better of it, you nod, and help him inside. He removes his hand from his waist and you watch as blood is slowly pooling on his side, staining his suit. You heart races, fuck, you’ve never done this before, cleaning and patching up someone’s wound. Maybe you’ve done this to yourself when you lived on the streets with Wanda and Pietro, but it was never extensive and like this. Why did he come to you of all people? You’re sure he has friends.

“Uh...” you bite down on your lip, nervous sweat beading on your forehead. “Okay, okay... first, you’re going to need to unzip your suit, keep on the mask if you want, and... I’ll- I’ll be right back with first aid.”

He nods and sits down on your desk chair, while you sprint out of the room, barely thinking about what you’re doing when everything feels like it’s moving 1000 mph around you. You get back to the room, gulping down the lump beginning to slowly form in your throat, practically having to shield your eyes to prevent you from staring at his muscular and fit physique. 

How can a situation be such a nightmare but also such a dream at the same time?

You kneel down in front of him, licking your dry lips and chewing on your bottom one, your own nervous habit. You can’t tell if he’s watching your hands or your face, but you feel his breathing shallow when you press a piece of gauze to his bleeding cut, soaking up the blood before cleaning it with a disinfectant.

And, God, now your hands are shaking. You struggle to grab the band-aids, knocking over the first-aid kit and having to pick it all up from the floor, muttering your apologies over and over.

He takes your hand in his warm one, both of you intertwining your fingers together like it was the most normal thing in the world, your eyes flicking up to meet his artificial, tech ones. “Please don’t say you’re sorry... I’m the one that’s burdened you with this. So I’m the one that should be apologizing.”

You shake your head, “You were bleeding out and came to the first place you saw, I completely understand that. It’s your life on the line, and I’m being... being a nervous mess. I should be calm, I should-”

“You’re doing really well, (y/n),” he cuts you off to assure you and you smile weakly.

You laugh, looking up at him for a moment before getting back to patching up the cut, “You’re a terrible liar, but thank you... The cut is a bit deep, but not deep enough for stitches, you’ll be okay.”

He lets out a sigh of relief once you you finish putting the bandage on, laying back on the floor like you’re falling from an intense adrenaline rush, letting out the longest breath of air you think you’ve ever exhaled.

“I can’t thank you enough, (y/n),” he breathes out and you hear the relieved smile in his voice.

You sit up and look at him, your eyes drooping from need of sleep, but you’re smiling, “Just promise me you won’t get hurt like this again and we’ll call it even, okay?”

“I can’t promise that,” he chuckles nervously, the sound eerily familiar, but you shake off the thought. “Not with the people I have to fight everyday.”

“You can be more careful,” you say. “It’s amazing... what you do, everyday, but you still need to be aware of what it does to you. I’m sure there are plenty of people in your life that count on you coming home everyday. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for them. Promise me.”

You raise your pinky to him and cock an eyebrow, waiting for him to hook his around yours.

“Really?” he asks.

“Really,” you deadpan.

“But-”

“No but’s, Spider-Boy. Pinky promise me,” you say, moving your pinky closer to his hand. Then he gives in and nods, hooking it around yours, electricity shooting through the both of you at the contact. You then wait for him to zip up his suit and get situated before helping him up along with you.

“You should probably leave now... Tony Stark is... overprotective...” you trail off. Or at least that’s one word for it...

He looks at you for a moment, lifting up his mask half way to show only the tip of his nose and a pair of pretty, pink lips. Everything about him is so damn inviting and... terribly familiar. Then it happens, it’s so quick, you barely have time to react as he leans forward and presses a small but sweet kiss to your cheek, leaving a tingling feeling on your skin even after he pulls away. His lips were so soft, really freaking soft, causing heat to pool into the pit of your stomach.

He smiles at you before pulling his mask down again and swinging out of the window, off into the night, one thought on your mind the rest of the time you tried to fall back asleep.

Spider-Man just kissed me.

~~~

“Spider-Man...” Wanda says hesitantly, nursing her Mai-Tai made by Banner who’s manning the Tiki bar. “Kissed you?” she repeats.

“After I patched his injury up, yes,” you say, sipping on your own virgin Mai-Tai, still bashful from what happened last night, and still not sure if you just imagined the whole thing. The only thing proving otherwise being the feeling of his incredibly soft lips on your skin.

It had to be real. But it also confuses you, what you feel with Peter is real too, but when you start to think harder about it... you see that the feelings for both of them are a lot of the same.

“Wow,” Wanda smirks at you over the rim of her drink, rolling her eyes. “Two boys tripping over their own feet for you. How romantic.”

“It was a friendly kiss,” you say, hoping it to be true at least, thinking that maybe if you say it enough that it will come true. You can’t develop feelings for Spider-Man, not for two boys at once, it wouldn’t possibly work out for anyone in the end if you did.

“I’m sure he wanted to get real friendly with you...” her smirk widens, making your jaw drop at your sister’s innuendo, slapping her in the arm.

“You... bitch!” 

“Witch, you mean,” she corrects. She’s had more than a few Mai-Tai’s in the last hour or so.

“I see you’re embracing the new name,” Tony says, appearing out of nowhere, wrapping his arm around her, squeezing her shoulder. “It seems we’ve gotten to her, (y/n).”

“It seems we have,” you agree, downing the rest of your dink, setting the glass down on one of the glass, patio tables. “Why are you throwing this party again, anyway?”

“You all deserved a break,” he shrugs, looking at Wanda skeptically when she sways drunkenly side to side to the song playing over the speakers. “A pool party is a way to both cool off and have some fun. So enjoy yourself and stop asking questions, Curious George.”

“Do you ever call anyone by their actual name?” you laugh, waving at a far-off Natasha and Clint.

“What’s the fun in doing that?” he looks at you like you offended him before patting you affectionately on the back. “You’ll also be happy to know that Peter will be here in ten minutes...”

“Why would I be happy to know that?”

He looks at you with a flat expression, “You know why, Cher Horowitz.”

You blush and he smiles when he sees he has his answer, walking away from you and Wanda to be a good host to the other guests, welcoming the other members that have just now arrived.

“Then it’s a good thing you wore my swimsuit, huh?” Wanda asks, finishing off her drink and doing a ‘gimme, gimme’ gesture with her hand to Bruce who hands her another while shaking his head. 

You look down at the small, scarlet red bikini with gold accents your sister’s let you borrow, showing off most of your body but also highlighting all your assets as Natasha would say, the bottoms hanging low on your lean hips so you’ve wrapped a loose, patterned cover-up over yourself until you get into the water.

“I guess it is...” you blush, chewing on the inside of your lip. “But I’ll never wear it as well as you,” you tease.

“Good answer,” she points her drink at you. “Very good answer, but you also wear it well, I have to admit. But don’t tell anyone I did,” she puts a finger to her lips and sh’s loudly.

“You’re hammered,” you laugh, taking the drink from her. “I’m cutting you off,” you grin proudly before smacking into someone’s hard chest, their hands catching you by resting on your arms, steadying you.

“Oh! (Y/N), are you okay?” Peter asks, looking down at you, and holy crap, he looks good. Really good.

“Yeah...” you breathe a laugh, setting down Wanda’s drink which she quickly grabs again before tucking a piece of your wavy hair due to the braid from last night behind your ear, blushing like it’s the only thing you remember how to do. “I’m- I’m okay. I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going and I just...” you trail off, trying to find words, but a small laugh comes out instead as you’re completely awestruck by him. His quaffed, brown hair, ivory skin slightly more olive from being in the sun these last few weeks, and fit to the gods.

He furrows his brow before catching sight of what you’re wearing or lack thereof, his eyes widening and he meets your eyes, embarrassed, smiling at you the sweetest you’ve ever seen, “You look... wow. J-just wow. You’re fucking beautiful,” he says before he can think better of it and you’re blushing so brightly you swear that everyone at the party is looking at you now.

You laugh, “Thank you, you look really good too,” you say, meeting his blushing face again with a big smile. “I’ve missed you.”

“You have?” he furrows his brow.

“Of course I have,” you say in a ‘duh’ tone. “You’ve been busy, I know that, but... I really did miss you being here,” you smile softly.

Dimples. “I’ve missed you too.”

“Good because it would be awkward if you didn’t,” you tease.

He laughs, “I could never not miss you, (y/n), you’re too unforgettable to let that happen.”

“Likewise,” you say breathlessly, you tend to get like that when you’re with him, out of breath just from being around him.

You look over to see Natasha looking at the two of you, making a heart with both of her hands over the two of you, and Clint pretending to shoot a Cupid’s arrow. 

“Have they been doing this to you too?” Peter asks you.

You sigh, “All the time.”

“I thought it was just me,” he says coolly, but his blush betrays his words, both of you are nervous wrecks right now.

“I think they’re trying to tell us something...” you say with an amused lilt weaved into your voice, looking at Peter from the corner of your eye.

“I didn’t know the Avengers were matchmakers.”

You laugh, “I think we’re just lucky enough to bring it out in them,” you say and look him over, eyes catching a... bandage on his side.

“Holy shit...” you mutter (*), your eyes wide when you point at him, jaw practically dropped onto the floor. 

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!

Peter brow pinches in confusion, looking to where your eyes lay and looking back up at you after putting two and two together, “(Y/N)... calm down...” he says, but your heart is racing and you can barely hear him.

“I knew it! I fucking knew it! You’re f-” You didn’t know it, but everything is finally fitting into place and making so much sense that you have to curse yourself for being stupid enough not to figure it out a lot sooner. You want to push him into the pool for not telling you, you want to hug him for getting hurt, you want to thank him for saving people everyday, and you want to kiss him because you just might be in love with him! Or would it be possible to do all four of those things?

He holds a hand over your mouth and his lips are on your ear, whispering, “(Y/N), I will explain everything if you just calm down. Let’s go somewhere that we can talk, okay?”

You nod slowly and allow him to drag you away to go inside without anyone noticing, getting indoors and immediately glaring at him.

“I am feeling so many things right now,” you fold your arms over your chest, looking at him like you’re truly seeing him for the first time. “Why... wouldn’t you tell me? Why aren’t you an Avenger? And why’d you kiss me in a mask instead of doing it face to face with me?” you throw your hands up in frustration.

“I didn’t tell you because I have enemies and if those enemies were to find out about you or who I am, then... I can’t even think about the consequences. I can handle a few bumps and bruises, but not if anything happened to you...” he admits, looking at you through his thick, dark lashes, the anger slowly simmering in your belly. 

“Ask Mr. Stark why I’m not an Avenger, hopefully it will be soon, but until then, my identity was supposed to be kept a secret,” he looks at you and smiles softly. “I just... I couldn’t stay away from you, I guess.”

“And the kiss?” you ask, breath caught in your throat when he steps closer to you, your back pressed against the wall. His leathery and salt water scent fills all of your senses and you can barely think because he smells so damn good and the way he’s looking at you... 

“I think you know why, (y/n).”

“You think I would,” you say, eyes searching his face. “You think I’d know by now to tell you how crazy I am about you because it’s... driving me nuts, looking at you everyday, talking to you like I’m not secretly falling in love with you,” you say, his gaze softening along with his smile when you say those last words. Then you laugh, looking down at your feet and shuffling them against the granite, tile floor, “And really wanting to kiss you, it’s almost unhealthy... how much I want to...” you whisper this last part, looking him in the eye.

“I really want to kiss you, too,” he gulps, eyes falling onto your slightly parted lips, silently begging for him to close the distance. 

“Glad we’re on the same page then.”

“Yeah...” he smiles adoringly at you and blinks hard, making sure he isn’t dreaming. You can’t possibly... feel the same way. Could you?

Oh, fuck it, you think to yourself.

You step up on the tips of your toes and press a soft, tender kiss against his lips, everything in your body melting into a puddle when he inhales sharply, barely recognizing you’re doing it even after you pull away, looking at him through your fluttering lashes.

He looks at you for a moment, and for once in his life he’s absolutely speechless, then his hand slides up the back of your neck and captures your lips in his own. And in that exact moment, you could feel your broken heart begin to fix itself as he hands his own heart  to you through his kiss, completely vulnerable for you. His lips are so plush, warm, and soft, the match in the pit of your stomach engulfing your entire body into flames when he gently lays his fingers to rest on your waist, dancing on your hot skin and eliciting a small whimper to escape your swollen lips. You have no idea what to do, and neither does he, but somehow it works. Even when your noses bump as you wrap your arms firmly around his neck so you’re skin to skin to run a hand through his impossibly, gorgeous hair or when your teeth clash into the kiss or when you have no idea whether to keep your eyes open or closed, your heart is getting those butterflies again and it’s the best damn feeling in the world because you’re kissing Peter Parker. 

You’re the first to break away due to lack of oxygen, arms still wrapped around each other when you take in Peter’s messy hair that you repeatedly ran your hands through, his swollen, bright, pink lips, lust-blown eyes, and lopsided grin. 

“That... that was my first kiss,” you admit quietly, flushing with embarrassment, but he only smiles.

“Mine too,” he whispers. “But you were... you’re amazing,” he stumbles over his words, laughing softly. “And I’ve been wanting to do that for months.”

“You have no idea,” you grin and shake your head, hearing shouting, whoops and hollers, and laughter from outside, both of you just now realizing that the door you’ve been pressed against was made of glass this whole time.

“WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!” Clint sings and pumps his fist, knocking his beer against Tony’s Champagne flute, both of them grinning to themselves. 

Wanda’s drunkenly sobbing into Natasha’s chest because you’re growing up so fast, making you smile softly at the sight, but also stifle a laugh.

You blush harshly when you look at Peter, “We’re never going to hear the end of this, are we?”

“No,” he says, leaning forward to kiss the tip of your nose lightly and both of your closed eyelids. “But we can handle them,” he smiles.

[the-v-list]

Ramblings of a Millennial

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, V-LISTERS! Welcome to the holiest holiday of the year!

Obviously Li’l Courtney Act’s record label knows they are onto something with those nude pictures coming out, because they suddenly dropped her next music video, for Kaleidoscope, which is one of our favorite songs on the album. The video is about as millennial as it could get, all gender-swapping, sexuality-blurring, 90’s throwback fashion with a big rave type party situation at the end. I mean we didn’t really get it but she looks happy.

However, Li’l Miss Act explains it herself in this interview in today’s issue of The Advocate, which we’re just gonna post here verbatim because it’s just, so very. I mean it’s sort of equal parts insufferable and mildly endearing. WE ARE WATCHING YOU COURTNEY!

Kisses, V

*

THE ADVOCATE: So tell us about what inspired you when writing this song, and conceiving this video. Is all feels very personal.

COURTNEY ACT: It is! Very much! I think the lines that blur between gender and sexuality are really interesting. I always identified as straight, up until the beginning of this year, really, until I fell in love with a woman and it was like…suddenly I was seeing colors for the first time.

TA: Yeah, we heard B’s good in bed.

CA: That’s not what I meant! I mean I guess that too. (laughter) But, I also realized that any time I was really attracted to a guy, I told myself it was because of their strapping masculinity. Which is a thing we’re programmed to think is desirable, especially in places like where I grew up that have very provincial ideas about gender. But then, when I really broke it down, I realized that I liked these men, not because of their masculinity, but in spite of it. You know, like the football player with the long, beautiful eyelashes. Or this one guy I dated where i was just like, obsessed with his butt. And when I think about him now, like, that was a very womanly butt.

TA: A womanly butt?

CA: Yeah! Like round, and soft, and, you know?…Okay, and my brother–

TA: That was a terrible transition!

CA: I know, I’m sorry. But my brother is a drag queen, and like, he dresses up in these beautiful clothes and becomes, not female but like this idea, this fantasy of what a female is supposed to be, and it’s so intriguing and beautiful, but in a whole new way, and I fell in love with drag watching him, because–

TA: This sounds a little…Flowers in the Attic.

CA: That’s what B says! I don’t know that book. We don’t read incest porn where I come from.

TA: Maybe you should, it sounds like you’d like it.

CA: (Laughter) Maybe it would hit too close to home.

TA: This is taking an unusual turn…

CA: Sorry. But back to the video, I wanted to play with gender because I’m thinking about it a lot, because of my own views and how they’re changing. I always thought I had to be a certain way, as a female, and that men had to be a certain way, but I think all of that is kind of being turned on it’s head. And now every day I wonder, am I wearing this because I want to, or because society is telling me I should? Maybe I want to wear a really “girly” dress in one moment, and then more androgynous or traditionally masculine clothing the next day, and that’s okay. And it’s not just clothes, but that’s the most obvious expression, the first thing we see. I worked in fashion for awhile and I’m surrounded by it all the time because of Bianca and it’s just like…there’s so much EXPECTATION and I kind of have a natural need to question things, but also this desire to be easy-going, so that’s always an internal struggle.

TA: So basically you’re human.

CA: Is that what that is? What a terrible affliction. Is there a cure?

TA: None that doctors recommend.

CA: (Laughs) Right. So anyway, as you can tell, I’m in my head a lot.

TA: You don’t say!

CA: (giggles)

TA: We hear your next video is much lighter.

CA: Oh, yeah, Ecstasy. It’s pure fluff. Just a fun dance song. Dedicated to my bestie.

TA: Adore?

CA: Yeah.

TA: Wait just a second. You wrote a song called “Ecstasy” about your girlfriend’s sister?

CA: Okay, when you say it like that, it sounds bad. It’s not ABOUT Adore, exactly. It’s about us TOGETHER.

TA: THAT SOUNDS WORSE!

CA: No! Like, it’s about how we go out dancing together, and the freedom that brings.

TA: I’m gonna call you out here. The lyrics are “I kiss your lips, leave it on your tongue–”

CA: I’m not kissing Adore! We’re kissing other people! Oh god, this is a losing battle, isn’t it…? (cracking up)

TA: I think this is between you and Bianca. I mean, you did kiss Adore in your video.

CA: Yeah, well, Bianca knows that was the only time. And she was there. And besides, Bianca doesn’t get jealous. Because hello? She’s Bianca del Rio.

TA: Ha!

CA: It’s true! She’s been with like, supermodels and Oscar winners. She’s not exactly in a position to feel threatened.

TA: So the rumors are true?

CA: You heard the part about seeing colors for the first time, right? (wink)

TA: And on that note…