#“we're a safe space” until it's a label you don't like

[bug-bundle]

"safe-space"

-> anti-endo and supporters

you are not a safe space.

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

500 Followers = 500 Words Event: Jisung

No More Games.

-> Pairing: Han Jisung x gf!reader

-> Requested by: Anon

-> Prompt:  No. 10 - “I think we should end things here. It’s for the best.” 

-> Warnings: Pouty Jisung. One joke about Minho being the love of Jisung's life. Don't take it literally. I don't do the whole shipping thing but it's clear Minho is Jisung's safe space and soulmate, they remind me of me and my bestie a lot (I'm a lot like Jisung when it comes to anxiety and introvertedness). My bestie is my soulmate and we joke that we're each others platonic wife's. I also think if female friends can have friendships like that without being labeled anything, that men should be allowed to as well. I originally planned to have this angsty but it's his birthday. I couldn't bring myself to write angst.

-> Word Count: 533

-> Requests: Closed

-> Tag List: Open. Send me an ask or fill out this form - Tag List Form.

500 Words Event M.List | Jisung Masterlist | Stray Kids Masterlist

“I think we should end things here. It’s for the best.” Y/N says, reaching to gather the game pieces. She had just won her fifth round, and she could sense her boyfriend's frustration mounting with every loss.  

Jisung stares at her, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, clearly taken aback by her suggestion to stop the game. He was hoping to keep playing until he could win at least one round.  

"Wait, why? We're just getting started!" He sulks, his voice a mix of disbelief and disappointment. 

Y/N pauses, her hand hovering over the game pieces. She glances across the coffee table at him, taking in the way his brows are furrowed and the way his lips are pouted slightly. 

"Jisung," she begins, her voice softening, "You were practically fuming over there a minute ago."  

He shakes his head, his expression one of determination. This is his girlfriend’s favourite game. He’s been learning to play it so it could be something they do together when she can’t meet up with her friends which had been often lately. "I’ve been learning how to play so you can still play it when you're not with your friend. I also took every free moment that I had to practice. I just need one more chance to show you that I can play this game!" A hint of desperation appeared in his eyes. 

Y/N can’t help but smile at his little confession. “But it’s your birthday. We should be doing something you want to do.” 

“I’m already doing what I want to do,” he assures her. “I spent the day with the boys and now I’m spending the rest of my birthday with the love of my life.” 

“Minho’s here?” she asks pretending to look for her boyfriend’s boyfriend. 

“Hahaha,” he laughs sarcastically.  

“I’m just kidding,” She chuckles and leans over and placing a soft peck to his lips. “But seriously, let’s do something you want to do.”  

"What I want to do is play one more round of this game," he insists. 

“One more round,” she concedes, holding her hand up with one finger raised. “But if you lose again, we are putting the game away and doing something else.”  

His face breaks into a wide grin, his disappointment melting away. He leans forward to reset the pieces on the board, his eyes sparkling with determination. “I’m so going to win this time. I can feel it!”  

As they begin a new round, Y/N can’t help but admire the way Jisung’s focuses, his brow furrowing in concentration as he bites his lip. She watches him, so much affection her heart swells. If she were an anime character, there would be love hearts drawn in her eyes, showing how much love she has for him. 

“You know, you’re really cute when you’re all serious like this,” she teases, her heart eyes now twinkling with mischief.  

He glances up at her, a soft blush creeping onto his cheeks. “Stop it! I’m just trying to concentrate here,” he retorts, but there's a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

©️ 2024 dancinglikebutterflywings - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead

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[sirenium]

This started off as a multigender rant but includes other things, because I'm so pissed off at the queer community for these things that I need to fit it all in one post. Sit back and prepare for this, it's a long read (also feel free to scroll past) being multigender sucks because I feel too paradoxical to be taken seriously. It doesn't help that I'm also agender :/ Like yeah, identity is your own and you shouldn't shave off parts of it to appease others, but damn does the 'passive' hostility and invalidation towards multigender people such as myself make me feel pushed towards changing myself sometimes. You can scream into the void all you want about being normal about multigender people and how they label their experiences, but some people just... never will be. That's what it feels like, from the fucking queer community as well as cishet society. It sucks. I can never be comfortable to explore my womanhood because then my manhood and agenderhood will never be taken seriously. Hell, the fact that I simultaneously experience gender AND being genderless is enough for people to just shit on me and exile me from queer spaces. The fact that I prefer ze/hir and it/its and nounself pronouns is enough for people to call me one of the bad ones. AND, the fact that I am more comfortable being perceived as a man suddenly makes me a 'danger to women'. There are so many issues with how multigender people, neurodivergent queers (literally any kind of neurodivergent, not just the neopronoun xenogender autistic person), queer POC, the list goes on are treated; if you aren't a white woman god help you, god forbid you're a man in any way either. And don't even get me started about how aroace people are fucking treated. I could go on for another few paragraphs about how I, as someone who is aroace spec and a plethora of other things, don't feel safe sometimes. I could go on and on and on. And fuck it, I will (under the cut because this post is already comically long):

'Aroace is a spectrum' this, 'all aroaces are valid' that, until you're romance/sex oscillating or even favorable, until you're polyamorous, until you're also a lesbian or a gay person or m-spec. Even in the fucking aroace community you're held by some bar of being aroace enough, and if you diverge even slightly god forbid. Allo fictives of aroace characters, hell even those who are aroace in a different way, have to listen to the incessant whining of the 'stop making sexual/romantic fiction of this character! they're repulsed in canon!' crowd. It's fucking obnoxious. Aroace people are already not taken seriously, aroallos and alloaces are already not taken seriously, and then you have the clown parade of people forcing their own idea of what they want you to be down your throat. The queer community and its many facets feel so fucking unsafe at times, and that sucks because we're all we've got. Some people don't have supportive family or connections outside of online queer spaces, and this is what they get. It's so incredibly shitty. I don't feel aroace enough because of my experiences, despite also having very stereotypical aroace experiences. I feel forced to constantly be sex/romance averse at times because again, god forbid you're ever favorable. I have two partners, okay? I have partners who I don't necessarily 'love' but care about a lot, and then I have to come across things that erase the fact that I am quite often averse to sex and romance because of this fact! People like me are constantly erased, and when they're represented in fiction people throw a hissy fit. "Oh you're forcing an aroace character into allonormativity!" Hey asshole: maybe, just maybe, aroace people can date just as much as they aren't required to. Fucking. Jesus. Some community this is, for there to be so much exclusion and hatred and segregation.

[filthforfriends]

idk if you use twitter/instagram but there’s been hugeeee dramas(?) regarding both thomas and ethan and i love ur opinions so i need ur opinions on the matter

idk about Thomas and I don't love that anon referred to the situation as "drama" since the allegations are very serious. However there is so little credibility and specificity in the situation that I get it. Everything is to the best of my knowledge.

A couple days ago, an instagram user sent serious allegations about Ethan to several Maneskin fans (and we don't know who else). "I know stories related to Ethan that are quite problematic." That sentence is how the user prefaced the concerning details, which I won't be sharing for that very reason. Knowing "stories related to" someone is way too many degrees of separation for any level of credibility. The account was quickly deleted and never disclosed their identity.

Enter a small Italian instagram account which claims to create a safe space to call out abuse by influential figures. The page is less than 3 months old, however the person or people running it are experienced with social media branding. They are organized and eloquent social activists/feminists who are absolutely sure they are doing the right thing here.

The "reports" are just screen shots of DMs that describe allegations. Each set of messages is prefaced by a description of the accused, instead of a name. I don't see how this is effective at anything besides creating a tornado of gossip and avoiding a defamation lawsuit. Two days ago they posted a detailed collection of allegations attributed to "il batterista di una nota rockband italiana." Translation: "the drummer of a well known Italian rock band." The details in the call out are consistent with the dubious messages to fans. So people assumed it was about Ethan, which was very likely the goal of the description.

We can't know if these allegations came from the same user that messaged fans because the call out account keeps their sources anonymous. The fact that they post screen shots does not inspire confidence that the accuracy of their content is being verified. The only step they claim to take is waiting to post a "report" until they receive messages from two victims. This single protocol is inadequate authentication of career ending allegations where Ethan isn't even named. To quell your curiosity, the gist is that this person is volatile and manipulative within his romantic relationships. He notoriously never wears condoms, even if he's entered a safe sex agreement with his partner, never mind the consequences.

I'm not gonna waste time debunking the Twitter account who was using the label "grooming" more liberally than lube on a straight man's sphincter. Trust it was the opposite of credibility. (And use the dictionary definition when accusing someone of a crime ffs!)

So we're left with 3 streaming piles of nothing until @/lauralfonsic likes the call out post. That handle belongs to Laura Alfonsi Castelli, Ethan's ex-girlfriend. (They do still follow each other). Her motivations for liking this post about "the drummer of a well known Italian rock band" seem obvious, but with allegations this serious it's important to acknowledge that we don't actually know.

Credit: @/ilballodivic

Then Damiano's ex Girogia Soleri released a statement that was purposefully nonspecific, but sided with Ethan whom she's known for 6+ years. Her and Laura are friends which makes them being on opposite sides of this strange.

What's even stranger is Giorgia's best friend Federica Fabrizio posting the call out on her story. Not only has Giorgia taken a stance against the call out, she's done it in a way that doesn't lead back to the source. She limited the call out's exposure so that fewer people would see it. Federica did the exact opposite, which is unexpected because her and Giorgia are also partners in social advocacy.

The statement isn't overt, but Federica appears to be taking some responsibility for creating the call out. Its like she's posting a finished project with a clever one-liner to express that she's proud of herself without seeming too boastful. It's improbable, except that the call out account, which self-identifies in social justice and is Italian-speaking, functions with the help of activists.

Buckle up. Federica's next instagram story was this bathroom selfie with a bold caption.

Obviously shit is hitting the fan back in Rome with former members of Maneskin's inner circle, but we have zero facts.

Ultimately, there is no evidence that Ethan is guilty of anything. You've probably noticed I haven't made it simple to find the post or account, which is intentional. Please pontificate less and research more. A person's reputation is fragile. Once broken, the pieces never quite go back together.

[alarrytale]

Manspreading is not just sitting with legs open lol. It’s defined as manspreading when that person intrudes on another person’s space. He doesn’t do that.

Also why do you think they took the pics of him down from the adidas post if it wasn’t about the comments because I will say it was. That post was flooded with comments about Louis only. I didn’t see even 1 comment about football, the players or adidas. The focus was only on Louis when this is literally a football & adidas doc. I know Louies got excited but it was a crazy amount.

Some of what you’re saying seems like you’re just stereotyping people then placing them in categories within the lgbtq+community. Categorizing people how they should sit, talk, move, or even what sports they like. That’s just an archaic thought process. Louis is polite, has cried in front of us and displayed his emotions during almost every single show, and he creates as stated by the women around him including his opening acts a safe space for them. These things are opposite of what toxic masculinity is or masculine fragility.

So why are we still assigning him a sexuality by things as basic as the way he sits for example? It’s setting the lgbtq+ community back several years with this type of thought. Maybe I’m taking this more sensitively because I recently came out but I don’t think in the year 2024 we should be putting people in a box like this. We’re all individuals for a reason. It seems like we’re deemed less than when we’re reduced to a stereotype.

Hi, anon!

So i've gotten an influx of new followers since Liam' passing (people are rediscovering 1D or are becoming new fans). What's really annoying though is when new fans come into my inbox to tell me something i already know, have talked about a million times before, or are joining in the middle of a conversation making points that's already addressed. I'm sorry, but i can't keep having the same conversations and the same exact discourse every three weeks.

I'm sorry anon, but we've disscussed the definition of manspreading to death. If you want to read up on that discourse go into my "manspreading" tag (i'm fully aware Louis isn't manspreading, so are my anons).

About why the pics were taken down, i have no idea. What i do know is that they want all the engagement on their post they can get, they don't care what people comment, as long as they create a buzz.

About stereotypes, another topic we've discussed to death. Louis is gay. I've known he's been gay since i entered this fandom twelve years ago. He was a very different person back then, he's grown up yes, but to make a long story short; he's been told to supress his natural mannerisms and behaviour, and used to get punished for it, to the point where he's now stuggling to live up to his straight image. I get that it's hard to understand that what we see of Louis now isn't his natural behaviour, and yes, gay men can "manspread" too, party, drink and love football. But Louis is supressing himself, and his current behaviour isn't authentically him. We know the real Louis, this is far from it. So we're not putting him into a box at all, we're just able to differentiate between the real him and the image that he portrays, because we've seen a totally different man.

I'm also not assigning Louis a sexuality. Louis was proud to be gay until he was told it was not okay by his label and they got him a beard. He went from being happy go lucky to being a subdued and scared boy. Again, a conversation we've had around these parts for over twelve years. This is all passed the point of discussion. We all witnessed it happening. So we're not basing our conclusion that Louis is gay on how he sits. That's honestly insulting. It's based on his lack of romantic and sexual chemisty with women and his relationship with Harry.

Congratulations on coming out, that's honestly great. There is nothing wrong with being queer and there is nothing wrong with fitting a stereotype. Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. I don't think any of us are reducing Louis to a stereotype. Louis, however, is currently trying to fit himself into a straight laddy stereotype. We know he’s the most multifaceted and multidimentional (and therefore interesting) artists out there, we know he's got different sides to him that he isn't currently showing us. We also know he’s exaggerating stereotypical straight behaviour to sell himself as straight. "Manspreading" is one of the things fans usually react badly to, because it looks ridiculous, like a parody almost, and it's not authentic to who he is at all.

[crowleybigbang]

Crowley's Big Bang 2023

The time has finally come, darlings.

After a long pause, the Crowley Big Bang is back, new and improved.

In fact, this is not going to be a traditional Bang.

We do realise that lots of us have gone back to working full time, with all the stress and fatigue that this may cause. So, to allow us to focus better on the torture, we decided to try something a little different: allow us to present you:

Crowley Against Humanity.

The whole thing is going to be as easy as standing in line in Hell: two prompt lists (black and white cards, if you’re familiar with the game).

The Prompts Lists are coming tomorrow, 1st of July!

Care to bury your box and join us at this crossroads? Then, under the cut you go.

You pick up to two prompts from each list, and mix and match away to your heart's content - provided you still have one.

You enjoy your creations, share them with us, and wait for October - since we're shooting for a month filled with creations and hellish chaos.

The prompts can be used faithfully, mentioned in passing, used as loose inspiration: we just want you to have fun.

How about collaborations? We know that those are the heart of a Bang. This year, those will not be handled by the mods - freeing you from check-ins, deadlines and such.

But, once the prompts have been claimed, we encourage you to reach out to fellow minions and see what team-up can see the light! No limits there: two artists, two authors, multiple artists and one author… as long as everything is safe and consensual, the sky’s the limit.

Deadlines and Timing:

Sign Ups open on July 7th! You’ll find the link here and on our Discord server, complete with instructions. If not, just shoot us an ask!

After that, you’ll have until the 21st of July to sign up - artist or author, welcome!

The prompts claims will be on July 22nd.

You have until the 30th of July to tell us if you decided to work with someone.

Works are due the 24th of September.

The Fine Print

Of course, there are rules.

In order to participate, you have to connect with us on Discord - You’ll find the invitation link to the server included in the sign-up form - or you can send us an ask if you want to get in before that.

First, you don't act like pre-cure Crowley, or any of his minions. Not to the mods, not to your fellow creators. You do that, you'll be snapped into oblivion - AKA banned from the Bang.

We won't reblog hateful content of any kind. It’s not our role to police your creations, but it’s our job to keep this space as safe as possible and enjoyable for everyone. Trigger warnings and detailed tags are compulsory. If those are missing, or incomplete, the work will not be reblogged on the blog or included in the collection.

Are you in doubt about a tag? No one has ever been called out for being too careful. You can always shoot us a DM on Discord, or open a discussion on our server - hiding the bit in question and warning the other participants about it.

NSFW: while it’s perfectly fine to create NSFW stuff, Tumblr’s policies have made it increasingly difficult for it to stay up and circulate. Please, do take the necessary precautions and label it correctly. When it comes to our server, we have a dedicated channel you can use to share that material.

RPF: nope. This is a Crowley event, which means we focus on the characters.

Fics must be at least 2K long.

No AI creations allowed. The whole point of this Bang is connecting with other human creators, and celebrate the love of fandom through original creations.

Again... don't be a douchebag. When in doubt, the mods will be happy to help - compatibly with the timezones and those pesky real life committments.

We hope to see you all at the crossroads for signing away your souls. In the meantime, don't forget to misbehave and raise a little Hell.

[earhartsease]

are you guys bodily 61 or is that an alter age? /genq

I'm curious bc of the queer stuff

good question! this human body doing front-of-house management is 61 - as far as we're aware, nobody in this system is actually 61, but ages range from around 6 up to late 50s when it comes to the humans - and as for the beyond-humans, your guess is as good as ours (current rough count is 29 individual beings, plus the accompanying inner forest)

there are a bunch of animals (we didn't include all the pets of ours and others that we invited into the forest when they died, there's a good two dozen of them! - but two animal alters for sure), two forest gods (one young, one ancient) and, well - a forest that's part of a landmass that's presumably part of a planet ecosystem in some universe, since there are stars and sun and moon in/out there

but yes, we all inhabit this 61 year old body and are trying to look after it, it's a bit fucked so we're trying to be as kind to it as toxic social conditioning will let us, and that goes for all of us really - just trying to love and listen to each other and it seems to work pretty well ☀️🌿

as for the queer stuff, given the constraints of lack of language or a safe space in which to think about it as a kid (very abusive upbringing), we think if we'd had the language back then we'd have known we were agender by the time we were 5 or 6? we certainly knew something was off in a "not really digging the boy thing, not really yearning to be a girl either though exactly, is this all necessary?" way

and certainly by the time our tweens hit we'd have known we were trans if it had been safe to know that (we didn't and don't get gender as a thing but we knew unconsciously that our body would be happier looking female) - we read a load of sci-fi with trans and queer themes all through our teens and kept revisiting the trans parts and no knowing why, for example - and at 23 we first knew we wanted a physical transition but got slapped down about it before we could look more into it - so didn't do anything about that until we were 48 in the end

but we came out as bi when we were 21, which apparently was brave in the 80s, and we finally embraced queer as a label in 2010 (after embracing genderqueer), and were able to let go of old horrors around the word and see how positive it is for so many people - and we came out as ace about a decade ago but it would have really helped if we'd known that was an option like 50 years sooner

as for all of us in here, nobody really has genders, all the humans are they/them and nonbinary, some look more male and some more female and some more *shrug* and it all sort of works?

we weren't planning to go into this much detail, but since it feels valuable for younger queer folk to know that us oldsters exist too, we figured we'd tell it out more - one thing we'd like to end with is by saying once again: none of this is set in stone - we've come out over 10 times now in the process of figuring out who we are, and we're on our tenth legal name change - and this is either it now or it isn't :D

- Irian on behalf of the emerald forest ecosystem

[syn4k]

a list of vines that i think the Animator vs. Animation characters would go well with

i didnt realize just how many vines there were until i made this post o7

Red (Yellow filming) - Look at all those chickens! Yellow (TSC filming) - Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does. Yellow (Green filming) - Actually, that is incorrect, because according to the encyclopedia of lpslspsmmsbghfppmslm Orange (filmed and edited by Green) - I AIN'T GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF Y'ALL, Y'ALL ARE NEVER GONNA SLEEP CAUSE OF ME Blue - FR E SH A VOCA DO Green and Yellow (filmed by Blue) - that one vine with the pots and pants banging to Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson Blue and Red (filming) - Stop, I could've dropped my croissant! Green (TSC filming) - And they were roommates. (Oh my god, they were roommates.) Green - Baby it's cold outside Green and TSC - All I Want For Christmas is You with that one guy being really excited about playing the piano and drums Purple - Stop saying I look like Chicken Little! Yellow, Green, and Blue - so how was the pasta? Purple and Gold - you are my dad (you're my dad! boogie woogie woogie :D) TDL and TCO - hey everybody today my little brother pushed me down the stairs so I'm starting a kickstarter to put him down Green and TSC - that one where the guy censors the swearing by playing the notes of the lyrics on the piano instead Red (filmed by TSC) - merry crisis! TCO, TDL, and TSC - that one with the three guys in sunglasses and blankets vibing in unison TSC (filmed by TCO) - that one guy skipping down the street to Run Away With Me by Carly Rae Jepsen Victim - ahaha, i do that The squad (Blue filming, Red getting possessed ofc) - what's your name? WHAT THE FUUUUCK [screaming] Red and Green (filming) - I want to see my little boy (here he comes) I want to see my little boy Blue and TSC - Why do we need labels? Gay, straight, we're all human! TSC and Red - CHRIS! Is that a weed? No, it's a crayon- I'M CALLING THE POLICE! Yellow and Blue - Mary! Is that a police? I'm calling the weed! Yellow - I was born in the wrong generation. I wish I was around in the thirteen hundreds where there's no clean water or electricity and everyone died from the plague. TCO - So no head? Red (filming) - chicken with the red dress on tonight standing in the dark in the pale moonlight TSC (filmed by Green) - I'm an LGBT ally and this is a safe space! [nunchucks] Yellow - Dear diary: Today I couldn't find my diary so I'm writing this on both my Kung Fu Panda 2 DVD cases TSC (filmed by Blue) - Shawty I don't, MIND (the one with kermit) Yellow and Blue - Bro, can I get a sip of that water? --It's not water. --Oh, it's vodka, I like your style. --It's not vodka. --What? --It's vinegar, PUS- TCO (Green filming) - You're all going to hell. Goodbye! TSC and Blue - hey, how much money do you have? --69 cents --hah, you know what that means! --i don't have enough money for chicken nugget :( Yellow, Red, and TDL - Johnny has 19 bottles of dish soap Red (filming) - Seal saxophone to Run Away With Me by Carly Rae Jepsen TCO and TSC - Hey Ron! Hey Billy. TSC (Yellow filming) - Psst. --What? TSC - Ah, I would, I just got too much to do tonight [slams back a beer while playing "Y'all Ready For This" on an electric keyboard] Purple and Gold (filming) - daddy? --Do I look- Green (TSC filming) - woman playing a recorder solo in her car while blasting rock music Blue (filming) - screaming rubber chicken falling off of a roof Gold and the RGBY squad - Get the F off my lawn! [runs into woods while holding a giant F] Red and TSC (filming) - WHAT DID YOU DO?? i shaved my eyebrows :)) WHY DID YOU DO THAT???? i don't know Green and TSC - guy playing the guitar and it makes human humming noises then someone else responds with guitar noises Green (Blue filming) - I'm JOHN CENA!!! [plays two recorders at once using nose]

Blue - I don't wanna be cool anymore! [throws off sunglasses, which slingshot right back onto face] Well I guess I don't have a choice. TSC (Yellow filming) - What the fuck, Richard? Victim (TDL filming) - Gimme your fucking money! [throws doll against wall] [[Law and Order: Special Victims Unit]] Yellow and Green - i spilled lipstick in your valentino bag Yellow and Red - ah, fuck, I can't believe you've done this Blue and Red (Green filming) - australian news reporter gets scared by chicken he's holding Alan and TSC (filming) - Dad, look, it's the good kush! --This is the dollar store, how good can it be? TSC, Green, Blue, and Red - what's up shorties? TSC and TDL - Why are you running? Why are you running??? Red and Green - How do you keep your pants up when performing? It's incredible? --belt. TSC, Red, Yellow, and Blue (filming) - Screaming child steals bag of McDonalds Blue and Yellow (Green filming) - WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSE? Green and Red (filming) - Airhorn prank! --Did somebody say something? RGBY and TSC (TCO filming) - owembuwe owembuwe owembuwe owembuwe- EEEEEEEE Gold, Yellow, and Blue - Who made this chicken?!! THIS IS THE BEST CHICKEN I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE TSC - Well, when Life gives you lemons! [Thomas the Train theme song] Red (filmed and edited by Green) - guy bumps head into metal doorframe edited into Wii theme song TSC and RGBY - this Red (filming) - well hello mr kitty! Red (filming) - Lilly, that was supposed to be for Christmas! Blue, Yellow, Green (filming), Red - You guys say Colorado! I'M A GIRAFFE TSC (filmed by Yellow) - [screaming into jar] Green and Yellow - who's the hottest Uber driver you've ever had? um, I've never been to oover javer Green - What I WANT TDL - [clown flicking top off of vodka bottle and chugging it] TCO (filming), TSC, and Victim - guy tosses fidget spinner to other guy and he catches it Purple (TSC filming) - fuck this shit, I'm out

[faceglitchsworld]

It's the 29th of March, which means that today is the day where one of my favourite drummers was born.

Happy birthday Harin! 🥳

Here's the collage I made for him ☺️

I really had fun with this. I wanted to make a REALLY special collage for him, since he's born the day after me (we're almost birthday twins 😭) and we're both under the aries sign.

Did I exaggerate a bit with the pictures? 🤣

Well, now you can admire every shape of him 🥴😌

Ok, enough with the funny talking, it's time for the letter.

Talking about Harin means, again, talking about why I love bands in general. Before discovering K-pop and k-bands in general, I was very into tech-death metal. Now, this metal genre is very heavy and hard to listen but, if you pay enough attention, you immediately notice how the drums are one if not the most important instruments. You can't do that genre if your drummer doesn't have a good technique.

And when I recognized Harin's technique? When listening to Montage_ obviously. I love that song especially for two reasons, and the first is Harin's drums. His aggressive rythm is probably one of the first thing that I heard immediately besides Kanghyun's riffs. I was thrilled by it. For this reason, he became my second bias after CyA (and let's say that I should also thank some pictures of him 🤣 Working out helps a lot).

Little story time now. While I was watching Onewe's pics I always thought Harin was one if not the most introverted member of the group. You wonder why? Must admit it was his way of smiling. Since his smile is always very timid I thought he was introvert, so imagine my shook when I discovered his MBTI and he had the E of extrovert in it. I was literally like "What? An extrovert? Him? Seriously?". I was naive at the time, I must admit. In the exact moment I started to watch some extra Onewe content I understood why he was labelled like that. He's the one who brings chaos most of the time while being a goofball. If you watched some clips from the recent fansign you know what I'm talking about. He can't dance and despite that he decides to dance anyway because he's having fun with the members. I love him for this. And how I can talk about Harin without mentioning the beautiful friendship he has with Kanghyun? He's the extroverted friend I always wanted to have: someone who respects your boundaries and your spaces, who makes sure you feel better first, someone who can rely on.

And how can I not talk about how he sees Onewe as a whole? I don't know you but Harin is for me the member who sees the band as a second family more than the others. I will never forget how, during the last concert the members made all together, he tried to not cry until he bursted into tears after everyone read their letters to both Yonghoon and Kanghyun. I felt that. Kanghyun and Yonghoon aren't just two members for him but two good friends (Kanghyun especially), two brothers who made his days more brighter and precious. Even if he knew it, he couldn't be stoic like he always does when he's on the stage. He needed to express his sadness and how much he would have missed them during these months. And I think every Weve felt his emotions at the time.

My dear Harin, thank you so much for taking care of our maknaes while the Leader Line is doing their duty for the country. I know it wasn't easy for you at the beginning but I assure you that you made a wonderful job. If I saw both Dongmyeong and Giuk being this happy last year is thanks to you. I think both Yonghoon and Kanghyun know that too. Thank you for being a big, comfy safe space for us during this year. Thank you for protecting us. Thank you for being one the kindest person I ever met during my k-pop journey.

Hope you'll celebrate this day with the members and your family too. Take this day to take a rest and to enjoy the little and happy things in life. You deserve it.

Happy birthday, my sweet giant 💚

[just-aro]

I talk about this in hopes that others will also feel safe in exploring a changing identity: our situation was complicated by unrecognized plurality, but we used to collectively identify as asexual.

We were the true and classic late bloomer. Several of us could probably still claim some label on the gray ace spectrum, but don't find it useful for how we process our experience. We just... didn't have any interest in us having sex until we started to better understand and process our dysphoria with our body. And when we began to better process our feelings about our body, it wasn't like a switch had been flipped. It was more like... we'd made a step that permitted the possibility of sexual attraction.

We liked fictional sex; we liked porn. We just didn't understand the feeling of seeing someone else and just... being interested in sex with them? Or feeling aroused by a person's physical form? And frankly, we'd started having and enjoying sex about 3 years before we'd start to experience those elements of sexual attraction. Sex is fun, and we like it - but it's all about the mental element, and there was never a physical pull towards any given individual. If we weren't enjoying the dynamics of the situation, it didn't matter how much we liked their body - we weren't interested in that way.

And then, around 2019? Bam. We're walking through the grocery store, and see a goth dressed dude with a sleeveless shirt/jacket combo, and some nice muscular arms. And, we had a physical reaction and couldn't help but stare as he grabbed something and flexed his arm. We went home and stared at a wall for a bit about that, tbh! Like, hey, what? Almost a decade after the average age when folks report feeling sexual attraction for the first time, and now we're feeling it for a random dude at the market? Come on!

When we began exploring plurality, we also added a new and fun dynamic to it: 90% of the time we feel sexual attraction, Phoenix is fronting or cofronting. It often feels like, in those early days, we were all standing there going "YOU!"... but he's not the only one who feels it, he's just the alloaro in the system.

None of us feel connected to asexuality as a label or community anymore, but we're still grateful for the space it gave us as a teenager who wasn't connected, by label or community, to the allosexual world around us.

I used to identify as ace, and I don't anymore

I remember a LOT of ace content back when I first started engaging with the community was like “Aces aren’t just late bloomers!” “Stop assuming aces will change their minds one day!” “Stop telling them they just need to find the right person!” And I’m not disagreeing with any of that, it’s still rude to tell someone they’re wrong about who they are. I just want to talk about what happens when you do change your mind, because I’m not the only person I know who stopped identifying with asexuality at some point in early adulthood.

Personally, as a teenager I found the ace community extremely helpful and validating. I was so sex repulsed, I was practically terrified of sex. All I had ever heard about sex growing up was that supposedly it was morally reprehensible in all contexts other than marriage, and also because I was AFAB random men I didn’t know would want to have sex with me and could potentially violently assault me to accomplish this. So of course I deeply and unknowingly repressed any and all sexual feelings until I started to be exposed to some sex positivity and slowly began to unlearn almost two decades worth of guilt, shame, and fear. However, at the time all I knew was I didn’t want sex at all, and the asexual community gave me permission to not want sex under any circumstances. Which I desperately needed.

However, once I got older, things got a little weird. I reached a point where I was having feelings that were unmistakably sexual, but I was by no means ready to give up my identity as an asexual person. I had worked so hard to accept and assert my lack of sexual attraction, how could I now confront the possibility that I was no longer what I thought I was? To be fair, the ace community that I participated in was almost as full of “it’s okay to change your mind about your orientation!” as it was of “aces aren’t just late bloomers”, but I’d never met anyone who had identified as ace and changed their mind. Not directly anyway. I didn’t know any stories about what it was like to discover your sexuality after discovering you didn’t have one. I was alone in a whole new way I had never considered before, even though I knew that theoretically this change could happen. I just never thought it would happen to me.

So, I basically just spent a few years in this awkward limbo between asexuality and allosexuality, trying on different ace umbrella terms like grey-ace, demisexual, etc. Not really feeling a connection to any of them, not really feeling a whole lot of sexual attraction either. I’m still kind of in that limbo, and that may or may not change in the next several years. I’ll have to wait and see. I do know that identifying as a lesbian, first as an oriented aroace but increasingly as a possible sexual orientation, has definitely led to some significantly faster-paced developments recently. So maybe I was just gay the entire time (I mean I was gay the entire time anyways, but maybe my lack of interest in sex was actually a lack of interest in sex with men).

I’m interested to hear if anyone else has experience with the transition from aroace to alloaro. Has anyone else discovered that their sex repulsion was fueled by cultural sex negativity and rape apologism? What does this look like from a non-Christian perspective? Anyone assigned male at birth/raised under masculine social expectations have similar or parallel experiences?

[thedaveandkimmershow]

My uncle passed away a few days ago. Tuesday, February 20. 

He died in Bali, Indonesia on what would be his final journey to the country of his birth. 

We received the news a half hour after his passing, 130ish in the morning at our home, 530ish in the afternoon some eight thousand miles away across the Pacific Ocean.

He was my mom's older brother in a family of four. My mom's older sister and her younger brother passed away twenty years ago within months of each other, leaving my mom as the last serving sibling.

My uncle was super old by the way. That's not a knock on his age, by the way. Another nine years and he would've spent a literal century having lived on this third rock from the sun.

So safe to say he lived a full life, ending, believe it or not, with the title of Great-Grandfather.

My family in Holland is my family that I sometimes think of as my mythological family. This is the part of my family that lives in The Netherlands, has lived in The Netherlands for most and all of their lives, and who probably will always live in the Netherlands.

So yeah.

Distance is a thing. I can't just point to them and declare There they are!

You pretty much have to take my word on it.

Still, I tell people about the weird connection we have with roots in our collective childhoods. I tell people about our similarity of personalities, a modern-day tell that we're from the same tribe. And I tell people that time and distance don't diminish our shared connection. Which is a helluva thing given that twenty years just filled the space between last month when we were with them... and the time before that.

Twenty years ago.

And no. It doesn't, does not, seem to diminish us or our relationships with each other.

My uncle, by the way, my mom's older brother, was a drummer. He was on the kit with bands at a young punk age so it was hard not to think of him as a pretty cool dude. We met for the first time when I was a child. I had to be younger than ten when I met he, my aunt, and their son, my cousin. Later, a daughter would come along, another cousin for me, but it was that first meeting, the family of three, at which we were introduced. At the time, I think it was the company, Phillips, that he worked for. The sound recording company. Long play records. Cassette tapes. Electronic sound equipment. I'm not sure where he was in the company or how he came to be there but professional musician was his vibe.

He was a kind man. A clever and silly man. The man for whom Kimmer 'n I got on a plane to travel the five thousand miles to his home where we spent hours of every day with him. And where I got to tell him that I love him and thanked him for being my uncle. I don't know what that last bit means, actually. After all, an uncle's an uncle. It's a label of relationship within a family.

Gotta say, though, he brought a lot of honor and, yes, a certain X-factor to the uncle gig.

In the end, as in the beginning, he made an indelible impression in my memories. One who always made me smile. And one, I'm certain, who's passing will take a while to set.

Why?

Because with friends and family I don't see often, their passing doesn't register in the same way as someone who suddenly drops out of the middle of my life. There's gonna be a part of me that naturally thinks my uncle's still there across a country and an ocean, a great-grandfather, a husband, drummer, a good man. Enjoying his life surrounded by family that moves through his home like a natural current. There's a part of me that'll assume my uncle's living his life on the other side of the world until...

Until...

Until the part of me that knows better reminds me that he has, in fact, left the building.

I miss him, though. Right now as I'm thinking about him, I miss him. Just like I miss his sister and his younger brother whose memories I keep from childhood, whose memories sometimes prevent me from remembering they're no longer with us.

It's the only benefit I can think of, this thing where my family lives so far away and years go by between those times that we see each other: my sense that they're present on this earth with me is stronger. It's a bedrock reality for me that they are simply there.

Always.

My uncle passed away a few days ago. Tuesday, February 20. 

He died in Bali, Indonesia on what would be his final journey to the country of his birth. 

It's a fitting end to the story of his life, one that was absolutely made possible by his wife, his son, and his daughter. What I'll remember is that it was a quest. A literal adventure, traveling more than a thousand miles by plane, train, and automobile just to get started, moving from the west of Indonesia all the way to the east. In a way, it was also traveling back in time, revisiting the country of my uncle's youth, back where the life as he knew it started.

It's the quest I'll remember more than anything else.

One that remains ongoing.

☺️❤️

[love-toxin]

As someone who is on both the ADHD and autism spectrums, but wishes to remain anonymous....

Would the fruity four still... like me? Even if I'm weird and stim with my hands? Or if I say weird things and curse creatively? It's been a massive self esteem battle for me, because both of the people that I dated previously left me when I confided in them that I was on both the ADHD and autism spectrums....

first of all, im so sorry that happened my love! nobody deserves that, especially not such a sweet person <3 ty for sending me this ask not only bc you're giving me a reason to self-indulgently write about the fruity four with an autistic angel, but also bc!!! we're really alike!!! i love knowing there's somebody i can relate to out there 🥺🥺

I'll start off by saying; yes, of course! The fruity four are strong personalities and people, they have a bond with you that couldn't be broken by something like that, because it's part of what makes you you–and that's exactly what they love! The very thought of giving up on their true love because of a label is just bonkers, it makes no sense and they would be echoing that to you whenever you feel insecure about it. Also, let it be known that I'm totally on the train of headcanoning both Eddie and Robin as being on the spectrum. I like to think Eddie's stronger on the autistic side, whereas Robin is more adhd with her social skills being more pronouncedly autistic. So with this in mind, I think they'd already be very sensitive to whatever your personal experiences are on either spectrum! And they can relate to you inherently a lot better than most people, including both Nancy and Steve.

Not to say that those two are oblivious or apathetic, however, because they certainly are not! They just don't have the same experiences to empathize with you, so they've gotta put a little more work in to help themselves understand how you operate. Your boundaries are a relatively easy thing to start off with; they're something they've probably already gone over, just not as in-depth as they're used to. You might sit there shy and a little teary-eyed even, worrying yourself to death that they're going to laugh at you or make fun of the things that you say you need or that bother you, but Nancy and Steve will be so patient in listening and Robin and Eddie will encourage you to say everything that comes to mind. Your shared space is always a safe space, there's no fear of abandonment or rejection that you need to worry about here, and they'll do as much reassuring as it takes until you really feel comfortable and secure in knowing that. No moment of irritation or frustration or any meltdown will scare them away, no matter how big it gets. And they'll never think of you as childish for anything that you do or anything you get upset about.

Nancy's probably one of the easiest people to confide in about being on the spectrum, as a person who isn't perceivably on it herself. Even though she doesn't experience life in the same way you do, she's a fantastic listener and she treats your explanations and understanding your neurodivergency almost like a hobby in itself. When you mention some term or new behavior that you can't put a name to, she's off to the library to research anything and everything that has to do with autism and adhd–and soon she's the one coming to you not just with questions, but new information she picked up and surveys she wants to do to compare your personal experience to the studies she reads, to see if what's been published is accurate to the real-life experience. And you can damn well bet she's committing a bit of library graffiti in her chosen books if she comes across insensitive articles or tampered studies, or really anything that suggests that autism is some kind of disease or that it's a walking death sentence to any poor parent that finds their child is diagnosed with. She'll scratch out those horrid comments and outright false statements and write the corrections in the margins so long as she has the evidence, to the point that she pouts when she gets banned from borrowing any books for a month when she gets caught. "It was worth it," she insists, more concerned with getting the truth out there than being lectured by the crotchety old librarian–and you can bet she'll stand by her opinions even in public, even with strangers and ill-mannered people, because knowing you feel safe and wanted matters more to her than smiling and nodding along.

The only one that might be put off is Steve, but not in a bad way, and only at first. He's not as used to the way you and Eddie socialize, primarily because he's grown up and has gotten adjusted to the ways that neurotypical kids interact with each other. The way he carries himself and how he speaks to people is what he thinks is normal, so while he sees bluntness or awkward wording or seemingly oblivious social cues as abnormal, he doesn't think it's a bad thing at all. Clearly by the way he and Eddie exchanged conversation when they first met, he's more endeared by it than anything else, even though it takes him more time to understand it. He's used to picking between the lines of conversation to pick up cues and body language of whatever the other person isn't saying out loud, but luckily he's quick to realize that you don't necessarily speak the same way, and he just has to listen to you to know what you're trying to say. And once he learns about masking and sees you slowly become more comfortable with not doing it around him, he gets soooooo excited because he really feels like you're bonding, then, and that you trust him enough to stim or chatter on around him!

And with Eddie and Robin? They're so tuned in it's honestly hilarious. Eddie's constantly on the hunt for things he knows are part of your special interests–he finds little pieces of merch from bands or shows or movies you like, or things that are your favourite colour that he thinks you'll like. And he knows what your favourite animals are and what fabrics and textures you like, and pretty much anything and everything that has to do with your interests is noted down so he can use the information to his advantage. Robin's the same way, although you and her can talk for hours about the things you're passionate about, to the point that you both might forget to eat or sleep until exhaustion finally takes over, and you pass out in her bed or on the couch together.

Also, stimming? It's a normal thing in the household, and they will absolutely make sure that you feel like it's normal. Eddie tugs on his hair and plays with his watch, flaps his hands, claps, cracks his knuckles–and Robin has a few vocal stims like humming or making other little sounds through her teeth, aside from spinning her rings around and sometimes pacing around in circles with music or a movie on in the background. If you're restless and you move around a lot while they're cuddling with you, they get used to it quickly, and if you have days where you just absolutely do not want to be touched, they know that it's not personal and don't get offended if that goes on for awhile. It's the nice thing about having multiple partners, none of you really need to worry about feeling lonely or not having someone to confide in when someone isn't able to.

It's just a good time all around, really. They love you, you make them happy, and there's too much bad in this world for them to toss aside someone that really cares for them. Besides, how different are you from them, really? Each of them have things to deal with that frustrate them sometimes, or make them feel like they're a burden themselves. It's just a matter of accepting it, coping with it, and moving along, and letting the cycle repeat as many times as it needs to to let you enjoy life with the people you love.

[little-witchys-garden]

The LGBTQ+ doesn't care about SA victims of any kind tbh...

Tw: very dark topics mostly around SA in this post so if you can't mentally do that then please keep scrolling.

Lots is SA victims don't go to pride for their own mental health and nobody has ANY right in shaming just gonna say that right now.

I'm gonna say it the LGBTQ+ doesn't give a flip about SA victims of any kind.

The LGBTQ+ is as drenched in r-pe culture as the rest of society.

As a LGBTQ+ person who is also a SA victim, I don't feel safe in my own community because the LGBTQ+ treats us just as bad if not worse then the rest of society.

Ima go over a few things many SA victims I know have heard, seen and hold much issue with.

1. " you can't be a golden star _____ if you've been r-ped"

This is a very common thing in our community, I think the golden star labels are dumb if I'm honest but I really pay no mind UNTIL SA victims are being told them having sex and being r-ped are somehow the same... R-pe isn't sex. R-pe is r-pe. Virginity can't be taken by r-pe and neither can a gold star.

2. Victims being told they're acting entitled for wanting a safe space.. So does everyone else just get a safe space but the people that most likely need one for mental health because SA is VERY traumatizing just not get one??? Like wtf is this mentality???

3. The " you owe { kinks/fetishes} your consent or you're being LGBTQ+phobic"

This one comes up more times then it should... Like this is an ongoing debate in our community??? I've heard it a lot and yeah no. Nobody owes anyone consent. That's not how consent works.

4. There is no winning if a SA visits pride events or stays home.

When SA victims say they're triggered by unconsentual kink/fetishes around them then they're told by their own community " STAY HOME!!!" like yeah that hurts a lot but it also hurts when they are told " stay home" and do in fact stay home AND THEY STILL GET SHAMED for not " supporting their community" and " kinkshaming" by not going.. Like there is no winning for SA victims there..

5. If you've been SA-ed by another LGBTQ+ person the community is kinda known for trying to silence their own so cis/het society won't know that we aren't always a "big happy family" that can have bad people in it just like every other community. Ima say it point blank for y'all, No matter what you never silence the victim.

6. Justifying when our own people are r-pists or when they're ab-sers..

This happens a lot like a LOT. Here's the thing, no. That's just it,NO. A r-pist is a r-pist, an ab-ser is an ab-ser. I don't care what they are, there is NEVER justification for that sort of thing.

7. I hate the fact our community still debated on if it's okay in exposing/bringing minors into kinks, fetishes and just adult sexual stuff in general like NO. That's just pedophilia. It's predatory and illegal.

8. The shaming and emasculating of butch lesbians if they've been r-ped by a cis man.. I've been told by butch lesbians it's very common and that's just disgusting. Should not happen.

9. How okay our community is with the racial slavery kink/fetish and other racist fetishes just being okay and justified in our community even though many POC have explained it makes them feel extremely unsafe..

10. How much our community mostly the cis people in our community fetishize the SA of trans ppl and other queer spectrum people... It's just gross and very r-pe culture vibes not here for it..

11. The weird justification of LGBTQ+ ppl being okay with unconsentual touching cause " we're both LGBTQ+!" or " I'm _____ and have no attraction for you so it's fine". NO IT'S NOT FINE. STOP TOUCHING PEOPLE WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT INAPPROPRIATE WAYS, THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION.

12. The shaming of sexually repulsed people in general, it's just not okay.

That's just a few issues from off the top of my head but yeah it hurts so much and I love our community in many ways but also hate it.

Also don't comment " that's never happened towards me" like great for you, Doesn't mean these aren't real issues that harm others in our community.

[7-oh-ta1]

It took the main tag for me to see your post about taichi and I am losing my goddamn MIND over it that was so well put-

It really makes me see how he contrasts to yuki (them being literal OPPOSITES color and character wise) and then putting it together that ever since godza it literally made him think that being the opposite of whom he adored and wanted to be like was his destiny, he was always told that being that way was deliberately unmanly and wrong. (Added that Godza is toxic masculine represented literally)

That makes me cry even more over taichi because societally he knew what he had to do to roundabout him being queer coded like yuki (queen coded/of another representation in general iykyk) and that influenced his actions SO MUCH that his facade really did make me think stereotypical teenage boy shenanigans until we saw more of his character! He masked so hard

I want him to be the best of friends w yuki (who's my fav) and get into showing themselves authentically. And then winning right in Godza's face.

Safe spaces like Mankai r so good and I just have to give u love in the inbox because this made my analysis brain so happy omg

I'm sorry bestie I saw this when I answered the other one but I wanted to be able to use my whole brain cell !! I'M SURPRISED ANYONE SAW IT GHHJH my taichi veiled queer-coded villain? post <3

But YES that's the thing, Taichi's foil to Yuki goes so much deeper than energetic/low energy!!! They both face struggles that mirror each other, even without implied queer struggles, both Yuki and Taichi are villainized. Taichi's is more obvious, literally being a villain. Yuki's is his defense mechanism to lash out and hurt the world before the world can hurt him first, which effectively is "villainizing" himself to a degree. Just like Taichi he never wanted to be harsh either, but he grew a rough shell to protect himself. In their own ways, they both don a different face to protect themselves, the only difference is that Yuki wasn't desperate. Taichi appears to wear his heart on his sleeve, Yuki hides his heart in his chest. In reality, it appears that way because it's the opposite. That's why they work well as foils together! When they have scenes together (even that snowy scene in the manga that had me MESSY SOBBING) it's usually about one glimpsing through the guise of the other, Yuki sees that Taichi hides everything behind a smile and Taichi sees that Yuki truly has a sweet heart he displays in his own way. But they respect the mask and don't push further, which gives their dynamic stability without permanent development.

"You can't hide from who you really are." | "You can create the person you want to be!"

I got carried away but WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THEM BEING AUTHENTIC ON STAGE AND SHOVING IT TO GOD TROUPE IS EXACTLY WHY THE LAST RUNWAY IS SO GHFHFHFGFHF!!!!!! I'm so upset it didn't get an official translation (not that I've found when I looked long ago) though I have been able to read some through friends.

As I remember my original thesis and thought being Taichi's personal arc resembles the struggle of queer representation in media and how regardless of how good our representation may get our history lies in being casts as villains lingers and prevents real growth until we release the label from our identity despite what we owe it. (Like Taichi releases the villain label from his identity in the Fiery Mantou Fist event)

A person releasing themselves from the guilt of their "crime", growing identity... even though that's not the intended message from A3 I'm sure, as a queer person it feels so familiar. 🤌

After all, don't most of us feel a guilt for a crime we repeatedly beat our miserable selves over? Something that was inescapably part of who we are and we cannot change? Wrong actions, maybe, we took in desperate defense of that part of us? Learning that the self is ever-changing and our guilt isn't integral to our identity, that we're allowed to forgive ourselves for perceived sin? That we no longer have to put pressure on ourselves to appear as invisible as the world wants us to? That after all this time, we're allowed to feel desire and guilt no longer for it?

[ablednt]

i can't put into words how comforting it is that you support non-traumagenic systems. a lot of "big names" don't- this is a breath of fresh air /pos

signed, a traumagenic system that agrees with you

I'm so obsessed with the implication I'm a big name here because I am literally just a little guy ahidofhghgiohdfg anyway thank you and I'm glad that you're able to feel safe here more than anything I just want this place to be a safe space for systems because god knows there's so few of those still

But yeah not only do I support non-traumagenic systems I consider myself one of them. I'm not lying when I say I'm traumagenic (I don't actually like using genic labels but we DO have childhood trauma. We don't know or care if that's what caused the system to exist though. How the fuck would we even know what exactly happened to make us plural when we were five lmao) and honestly in terms of trauma and dissociation there's plenty about our system that fits medical models perfectly. We could (if we ever could get a fucking therapist that believes in systems at all lmfao) get diagnosed with either DID or OSDD extremely easily because we experience literally every symptom except switching (which we experienced as a child but then our system changed to making hosts permafrontstuck til they go dormant to cope with the switching issue)

But we just don't, personally, want to define our system by our disorder and we know one thousand percent that our autism had something to do with it and if we had to pick a genic label that we actually do like and resonate with it'd be neurogenic because plurality IS our neurotype. Our brain is plural. We Physically Cannot Exist as not-plural our brain would not function. In addition to this many of us have past lives and spiritual beliefs all tied up in our systemhood (and why wouldn't they be, considering spiritual and religious beliefs reflect ones life and being plural is at the center of ours. Nothing in our life is separate from our plurality because plurality is us and we are plurality.)

But honestly, I think what really made us resonate with non-traumagenic systems so much is that we had this side of the community chosen for us regardless of our feelings. When we tried to stay with the exclusive side of the community the fact that we had fictives, used pluralkit while cofronting, and mentioned an inworld was too much for the singlet that abused us under the guise of friendship and was for some goddamn reason allowed to lead any syscourse discussions in our friendgroup and he fakeclaimed us multiple times. We were legitimately seriously traumatized by the shit that happened to us as a result and to this day are scared that we're being stalked, in fact the reason we made this blog in the first place was because we couldn't use tumblr anywhere we'd be found out after changing our names but missed the ND community and wanted to post about our autism again.

Like honest to god when exclusionists say the word endo or non-traumagenic they're not even just talking about actually non-traumatized systems (and it still wouldn't be okay if they were, of course) they're including literally anyone they disagree with. No one actually honest to god cared about the fact I had fictives or co-conned or an in world. One of the systems (who was no doubt pressured into/asked to help fakeclaim us by said singlet lmao) who fakeclaimed us for being in co-con and using pk literally regularly talked about being in co-con with their alter on multiple occasions before this. There were fictives in the friendgroup accepted simply because they were characters that the singlet liked and they were trendy enough. I honestly think what pissed the sinlget off enough to fakeclaim me had nothing to do with systems too, it's just that this was the perfect way to lash out and I think all syscourse is like that. It has Never Been About Protecting Traumagenic Systems. It's always been about tearing everyone, Including Us, down until only the ones that let singlets abuse them remain and it's honestly disgusting.

[lgbt-moonboards-aesthetics]

14th June - Pride Month Post (by Corin)

Hi everyone, this is admin. Corin! My pronouns are they/them/theirs, I'm bisexual and nonbinary. I am also intersex, though I don't use this label as often, mostly because of how recent it is that I've come to accept this due to the lack of information on conditions which fall under the intersex umbrella.

I think I'll touch on two lil anecdotes in this post --

I've been both pretty lucky and pretty unlucky in terms of coming out, although I think I'd still consider myself luckier than most.

Growing up in a very Christian family, the internalised biphobia was DEEP, though it mostly came in the form of denial. I was pretty much your typical homophobe until S2 (year 2 of secondary school on scotland/ typically around 12-14 y/o). There was an incident where one of my friends sent me a gay meme about jesus and I went off at them for it. I almost lost them as a friend. Eventually, being a non confrontational person, I apologised. At the time, i dont think i meant it, i was just desperate to not lose them as a friend. And then, that same year, she came out as bi. I went to an all girls school at the time, and I think our year was uncommonly out about it because suddenly at least a third of the year were saying they were bisexual. We made gay jokes during class and in the corridors. There were still bigots, but they weren't very loud. We were louder.

Funnily enough, my long denial phase ended after seeing Age of Ultron in the cinema with that same bi friend I'd had the fight with. Honestly, I think I still have a crush on Wanda from AOU.

It took me a lot longer to figure out I was nonbinary. For a long time, I wasnt aware of the word. I just have this vivid memory of lil me sitting in front of the mirror repeating "I am a girl" over and over again and hoping that it might stick, so I never really had an attachment to being one. I guess it kind of makes it awkward that I went to an all girls school now, and honestly I've kind of put this acknowledgement in a box for later.

ANYWAY, I think in the end, what made me realise, after asking google and various tumblrs a load of questions, that I am nonbinary was simply the fact that *I dont feel like a girl*, and I want to be nonbinary more than I want to be a girl. It seems kinda straightforward, but gender is weird and no experience is the same so it's hard to ask someone "how did you know?" and then apply their answer to yourself.

I finished just my first year of uni, and I'm living as out as I can. Luckily, scotland is one of the more lgbtq+ progressive countries, so my name is Corin on school records, and all my uni friends know me as Corin too. Though it's one of the smaller scottish unis in terms of population, and we're in a small town, the lgbtq+ community there is visible. There are trans people there, there are nonbinary people there, and those who are visibly queer.

I'm still not out to my parents, I'd like to think I will be one day but i dont know.

What im trying to say here is that queer people are there. There are more of us than you might think. Ive been incredibly lucky with being in environments where I knew I wasnt alone, but if you aren't and you can't see anyone, even when you can't see others in the community we're still there. Prioritize your safety, but also remember-- just wait. You'll find a space eventually where you can be authentic to yourself. You can even create a space, if you're lucky, even if it's online, or just one person.

And if you are in a position where it is safe and stable for you to be heard, be loud. Yes, it isnt your job to educate the ignorant, but it's a privilege to be able to help those in our community who cannot be heard our out so that one day they'll be able to live and express themselves as they want. Those people who were loud helped me, are STILL helping me.

I know this is a long ass post so just one last thing:

Even though we cant all gather in one place this year for pride, if you're feeling isolated and like there's no place for you at home or wherever you may be, just remember that even apart we're here. we're queer. and, well, we're always filled with existential fear so the rest of the world better catch up.

Even when you're lonely, you're not alone. and we'll keep reminding you of this. There are people, and there WILL be people for you, just wait.✊🏼🏳️‍🌈

Stay safe, everyone ❤